#sparkling cyanide
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A happy 67th birthday belated because I spent all day and night on this post post for James Wilby.
#I made them all the way to 2024 but Tumblr won't allow it#James Wilby#Privileged#The Bill#Dutch Girls#Maurice#A Summer Story#Mother Love#Tell Me That You Love Me#Immaculate Conception#You Me And It#Crocodile Shoes#Tales From the Crypt#Regeneration#The Dark Room#Trial & Retribution#Gosford Park#Bertie & Elizabeth#Sparkling Cyanide#Island At War#Jericho#Gradiva#Clapham Junction#A Risk Worth Taking#Shadows In The Sun#Midsomer Murders#The Secret Life Of A Call Girl#New Tricks#Vincent#Endeavour
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Sparkling Cyanide by Agatha Christie with a Tom Adams cover. More here.
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sparkling cyanide hokey & hepzibah smith general | 1.4k words
they is not knowing that we is knowing how to take the lives we is wanting from them. and that is why they is not thinking about how many weapons they is putting in kitchens.
tom riddle had nothing to do with the death of hepzibah smith. hokey had just had enough of being a slave.
this piece was written for week fourteen of @ladiesofhpfest, which focuses on the non-human ladies of the harry potter series [you can find the masterlist of the week’s fics here], which, here, means hokey, the house elf enslaved by hepzibah smith.
or, as we shall call her from hereon out, eokhí, which is how her name is accurately transcribed from the elvish language [more on which below].
for a story which only has 1,400 words, there is a lot to say about this one. some author’s notes under the cut:

the title is the same as that of agatha christie’s 1945 novel sparkling cyanide - published in the united states as remembered death - for which there are some spoilers immediately to follow. it is not, let me be frank, agatha’s best [not least because it’s a rewrite of a poirot short story, the yellow iris] but there are several things about it which appealed to me when i was writing this: that it deals with a death initially presumed not to be murder; that it has multiple suspects, including a young man who appears to desire wealth; and that the murder weapon is a poisoned drink.
the poison - in christie’s case and in mine - is potassium cyanide. this is obviously a deviation from what we are told in half-blood prince - in which dumbledore describes the poison used to kill hepzibah as "rare" - since cyanide is probably one of the better known methods of doing away with troublesome old ladies, but it has been my headcanon for quite a while: cyanide looks very similar to sugar; it's highly soluble; its bitter taste requires something sweet [like cocoa] to mask it; it kills its victim extremely quickly; and it wouldn’t be completely bizarre for it to be found in a wizarding house. cyanide was a standard component of silver polish until surprisingly recently, and i am choosing to believe that this is the same in the wizarding world. in her interview with the aurors, eokhí just happens to mention that hepzibah wanted a pair of silver candlesticks polished the day she died, and everyone considers the matter settled.
i’ve always been fascinated by the murder of hepzibah smith, not least because - as it’s described in canon - it’s a massive deviation from voldemort’s usual modus operandi. hepzibah is the only person we know to have been poisoned by him, and the only person we know to have been killed using - essentially - a muggle method [even if the poison in jkr’s head is magical, stirring it into a cup of cocoa isn’t]. above all, i am obsessed about what it says about voldemort that the hyper-feminine [even if the text treats her attempts at femininity as ridiculous - something which eokhí agrees with] hepzibah is killed in such a feminine-coded way: poison is known in pop-culture as a "woman’s weapon" - even if statistical evidence doesn’t confirm this - and a domestic one; and the image of hepzibah dying in her own home, over a cosy cup of cocoa, as punishment for insulting voldemort’s mother [whose death kept him from that experience] is really striking.
a part of the murder which is more usual for voldemort is that he frames someone else. however, unlike with his framing of morfin gaunt for the murder of the three riddles, which is made to look deliberate, he makes eokhí’s involvement in hepzibah’s death look accidental, and eokhí appears to receive no punishment from the ministry of magic. this undoubtedly has nothing to do with any compassion for her on voldemort’s part; he chooses it because it’s the most plausible cover he can give himself, and this must be because wizards know that elves cannot deliberately harm their masters.
or, at least, think they know that.
poison’s association with women and the domestic sphere obviously means it has a reputation for being the means by which servants bump off their masters - and, specifically, how female servants bump off their mistresses. i very much like the idea of witches laughing in a self-satisfied way, thinking that they never have to worry - like silly old muggles - about being done away with by their cooks, while the loophole which elves have noticed and have been exploiting for centuries stares them right in the face.
because we see in canon that elves are perfectly capable of indirectly harming their masters - dobby spends the entirety of chamber of secrets doing it - and so, when eokhí decides she has had enough of her mistreatment at hepzibah’s hands, all she has to do is get the poison out of the cupboard, put it in a dish, and let hepzibah choke on her own arrogance.
eokhí is a type of elf we only see glimpses of in canon - one who does not want to be a slave. the house-elf plotline is the weakest in the series for many reasons, but one i always find particularly galling is that dobby’s revolutionary zeal in chamber of secrets, in which he talks of whisper networks of elves decrying their ill-treatment at the hands of wizards and celebrating voldemort’s death, vanishes in goblet of fire, when the standard elvish position seems to correspond with the wizarding one: that being a slave is great and wanting freedom is bizarre.
eokhí said fuck that. this story is one of disrespect and rage and revenge, and of the triumphant pleasure of reclaiming the space which was once used to oppress you, as eokhí goes from waking up in a nest of blankets on the kitchen floor - because she’s not allowed a real bed, unlike hepzibah - to eating the cakes she has always been denied while hepzibah lies dead in the parlour.
it is also a story of language.
we hear several elves speak in canon, although only three in any great detail: dobby, winky, and kreacher. there are differences across their speech - dobby and kreacher tend to speak in the third-person, winky tends to speak in the first-person; kreacher uses the present continuous the least, winky uses it the most - but none speak in standard british [or american] english, and there are similarities - such as a tendency to use non-standard conjugations of verbs ["i is not sure you did dobby a favour, sir"] - among all three.
in harry potter, characters who speak in non-standard english are generally coded in one of three ways: foreign [fleur, krum]; simple-minded [hagrid]; or shifty [mundungus fletcher, amycus carrow]. which - if any - of these readings is intended for elves is up for debate, although my own view is that elves’ language is intended to make the reader agree with the standard wizarding opinion that they are less sophisticated or rational than humans and that their subordinate position in wizarding society is natural and justifiable. this is, obviously, something the text partially pulls the rug from under - the underestimation of both dobby and kreacher’s powers and agency is a significant contributor to harry’s victory - but it always feels, given the series’ failure to fully stick the landing on whether it thinks slavery is a bad thing, not as pointed or ironic as it may have been intended to be.
i prefer to think of elves as having their own language, used among themselves, to which wizards have no access. but i also think that it does them a disservice to think of the language they use to interact with wizards as simply non-standard - or, more dismissively, "broken" - english. i think we should imagine that all adult elves are fluent speakers of two languages: the elvish language; and what we might call elvish creole, which - like all creole languages - is not a dialect, but a full language in its own right.
eokhí’s story is written in this language. some of its linguistic features are:
phonetics: in goblet of fire, dobby is shown to think that ron’s surname is pronounced "wheezy". he thinks this because the elvish language of course has its own phonetics, which particularly affect the transcription of proper nouns which are not habitually used in elvish or elvish creole. two examples are important to this story: the elvish language doesn’t have an aspirated h- [as in, how a speaker of standard british english would pronounce "hokey"] and it doesn’t have a plosive p- [as in, how a speaker of standard british english would pronounce "hepzibah"]. that hepzibah expects eokhí to pronounce her name properly and yet doesn’t extend this basic courtesy to her should not surprise us.
names: three elves we meet in canon - dobby, winky, and hokey - have names which end in an "ee" sound. as eokhí explains, this is because elves are usually named after nouns, and the nominative singular of nouns in the elvish language end in -í. plural nouns end in -é. [kreacher’s name appears to be an adaptation of the word "creature", which suggests that he was dehumanised to such an extent that his masters wouldn’t even make an attempt to pronounce his real name.]
elves do not speak the names of their dead. eokhí refers only to eokhí’s mother, rather than using the name she had when she was living. wizards do not realise they are being disrespected when elves use their names after they are gone.
pronouns: the elves we see in canon tend to use illeism. that is, they refer to themselves in the third-person singular - he, she - most of the time. although winky uses the first-person singular - i - regularly, dobby only uses it occasionally, and kreacher never does. they also tend to use their own names as pronouns - "kreacher is cleaning" - particularly when needing to add emphasis or clarity to sentences. eokhí never uses the first-person singular, for reasons connected to elves’ traditions about the self. she would explain to us that when elves refer to themselves as "i", they are choosing to speak standard english for the benefit of their wizarding audience, and she doesn’t feel hepzibah deserves that effort.
verbs: the elves we see in canon generally only use the third-person singular of verbs - "i says" - regardless of pronoun choice. eokhí does the same, since both elvish and elvish creole have no plural verb forms and only one grammatical person, once again connected to elves’ traditions about the self.
the elves we meet in canon also tend to use the present continuous - "my master is telling winky some things" - frequently, often in a context which would not feel intuitive for speakers of standard english. in eokhí’s speech, the present continuous is used to show actions which are repeated or habitual - "eokhí is waking up one morning in her nest on the kitchen floor" - while the simple present refers both to general statements of fact - "eokhí is a slave" - or to one-off actions "eokhí decides that is it".
in the past tense, similar principles apply: eokhí uses the past continuous - the smith family "was wanting to be looked after" by eokhí’s mother - to describe repeated or habitual actions and the simple past for general or singular events. the future continuous is used both for actions which will be repeated or habitual and for actions which will take a indeterminate time to conclude - "eokhí is going to be fighting back", her battle is not just done with hepzibah dead - rather than simple actions with a defined end-point.
such as "she will eat".
#asenora fics#hokey#hepzibah smith#sparkling cyanide#ladies of hp fest#fuck her up hokey#no peace for the house elf plotline
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Sparkling Cyanide is a pretty solid Christie. At first I didn't think it was terribly exciting. I figured it'd be fine but nothing stand out. And then the second death happened and I was hooked.
The characters were interesting if a little dummy at times. The mystery really picked up in the second half and was very intriguing. And once again I had absolutely no idea what the big reveal would be lmao, but it made a lot of sense once I read it.
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started reading "sparkling cyanide" by Agatha Christie AND the best part is I got the physical copy at a second hand shop ☝🏻💖
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Michael Phillip Dunbabin's illustrations for Agatha Christie's Sparkling Cyanide.
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My Agatha Christie Re-Reading Project, #36: Sparkling Cyanide
This was one of my childhood favourites, so it's hard to come at it with fresh eyes. Re-reading at my current age does change some things, though, like how I sit here going, "Holy fuck, Iris, you are nowhere near old enough to be ready for a guy like Anthony Browne!" I mean, I get it. Man's attractive, even on paper. But as a first love for a sheltered teenager, he's a bit more than I think she's ready to handle.
(Sidenote: I looked up the Wikipedia page, and apparently there's an adaptation starring Anthony Andrews in the role. Which, um. Fucking Ivanhoe? Yeah, that… doesn't work at all, even disregarding the fact that Anthony Browne is visually very Mediterranean.)
Anyway. To the main story. I like the way we bounce around all the different characters' POV, even though Christie is a bit sloppy with it – there are bits where we get the internal thoughts of characters who are not the POV character.
The plot works fairly well, though it does depend on disguise to an extent that is perhaps not entirely convincing. Still, I like that Christie isn't going for the obvious choice of murderer, and makes a plausible cause for everyone to be a suspect.
I do feel bad for Rosemary, this time around, not just for dying but for how harshly she is judged by everyone around her. She's not a bad person, she's just stupid and selfish.
When I was a child, I couldn't understand how Stephen could be a Liberal "by predilection" yet join the Labour party one moment and the Conservatives the next. Now, it seems entirely plausible for a career-chaser like him, though it doesn't exactly make me think higher of him.
Colonel Race as the detective is a bit anonymous, and seems to mostly be there because someone has to fill the role. The whole detective aspect is toned down, anyway – it's neither he nor Chief Inspector Kemp who cracks the case, and they only get enough evidence by interrupting a murder as it's about to happen. But I kind of like that there isn't always a strong detective character. Break free of those restraints!
I admit it's a bit iffy to have Christie sing the praises of "imperial building" military just back from South Africa, but that's par for the course for these novels. (And she's very critical of people just drifting around the Empire for funsies and small-time crookery, like Victor Drake. Gotta have order to the exploitation!)
Altogether, a solid book, though perhaps not the most likely one to lure in a first-time Christie reader.
Verdict: 3/5
Next up: The Hollow, which I must have read once, back when I bought it, but don't remember at all.
#agatha christie#sparkling cyanide#my agatha christie rereading project#my agatha christie re-reading project
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anthony andrews in "sparkling cyanide (1983)"
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Appreciation for James Wilby's expressions as Stephen Farraday in Sparkling Cyanide. (2003)
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I loved the Shack at the End of the Lane, Inhuman resources and Sparkling Cyanide.
Your prose is beautiful and dreamy (also I love a messy bitch haha).
and i love that the messy bitch in question could either be merope, umbridge, hokey, or little old attention-seeking me.
i've talked about the shack at the end of the lane here, so we'll cover the other two now.



inhuman resources was inspired by a question which i've been pondering since a recent order of the phoenix re-read: why is sirius so certain that dolores umbridge isn't a death eater?
we know that the order are terrified about the extent of the death eaters' infiltration of the ministry following voldemort's return. we also know that they're worried about who has access to fudge and what they're telling him. and yet he defends umbridge from the charges of being in league with voldemort. indeed, she's even the subject of his iconic 'the world isn't split into good people and death eaters' line!
my conclusion? it's really striking in canon that not only is umbridge obsessed with rules and regulations - like all good civil servants - but she also truly hates magic. this is complete anathema to lord voldemort - even if her willingness to obey is something he might otherwise be quite interested in. i'm sure we can all imagine the look on his face when augustus rookwood told him that umbridge thought hogwarts should ban students doing independent research...



sparkling cyanide had a less cheerful mystery behind its motivation. i just fucking hate the house elf plot line. writing hokey a revenge fantasy in which she got to murder hepzibah smith for the extremely justifiable reason that she was a slaveowner was cathartic.
there are some more detailed notes about sparkling cyanide - dealing particularly with the language of the fic, which needed quite careful construction - here.
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i am once again listening to Sparkling Cyanide by Agatha Christie on audiobook to keep from going insane. I'm not really sure why but I keep going back to it. It's so gossipy. So much drama. A sweet romance. And it's also hilarious because it's just the characters' internal monologues, and they're all suspicious as hell.
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Read of Sparkling Cyanide by Agatha Christie (1945) (268pgs)
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