#spandex leggings porno

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Jazzercise!: Hazbin Hotel

Buckle up, Buttercups! This one's long.

Charlie: (wearing a pair of pink leggings, rainbow sneakers, white exercise t-shirt, and a red sweatband around her head) Alright, Everyone! Today, we're going to be doing some team bonding exercises throoooough- Da-Dada-Daaaaaah! -Exercise!!!

Hazbins: (all groan in dismay and grumble and clamor in annoyance)

Angel: (wearing powder pink leg warmers and neon green leotard that looks like it came out of an 80s) Is there any way we can sit this out? Some of us are hungover.

Vaggie: (wearing a black and purple sports bra and black spandex shorts that cut off halfway down her thighs, hair tied up in a ponytail) Still? We celebrated the hotel's grand reopening last week.

Husker: (wearing your stereotypical gym teacher windbreaker pants but no shirt or jacket) The empty liquor wall at the bar will verify.

Lucifer: (magically appears wearing a pair of bright red, men's booty workout shorts from the 70s, white Dad sneakers with tall red socks, and a white and red sleeveless shirt tucked into the shorts) Well, I'm all for a little sweat and hard work! Whatcha got for us, kiddo?!

Charlie: Dad! (Averts her eyes) What are you wearing?!

Lucifer: What?! I wore this in my college days!

Angel: Oooooh! While I'm not complaining there, Short King, I don't think Charlie appreciates seeing the "King's Apple" lodged in your shorts.

Lucifer: Huh? (Looks down at the natural, indiscreet bulge in his shorts) ........But these shorts cup the boys so nicely.

Charlie: (about to puke like when she watched Angel's best porno during show and tell)

Vaggie: Babe, let's just focus on getting the workout done. Alright?

Charlie: OoOookay.... Um... Do you mind taking over? I actually have no idea what I'm doing.

Vaggie: (sparkle in her eye) Sure thing, babe. (Turns to the rest and squares her shoulders) Alright, we are going to start with two easy laps around the track followed by partner bear crawls for two hundred meters, thirty burpies, and ending with twenty inverted push-ups! Any questions?

Hazbins: (awkwardly glance at each other)

Niffty: (wearing a 50s style one piece workout suit) YAY!!! PAIN!!!

Vaggie: THEN MOVE!!!

-One Hour Later-

Hazbins: (moaning and groaning in agony as they lay defeated on the track)

Angel: (rolled out like a spider that got run over) Charlie..... Toots.....

Charlie: (gasping for breath as she falls to her knees and holds herself up on shaking arms) Yeah.... Angel?

Angel: (Looks over to Vaggie who is on her third iteration of bear crawls and using an equally dead Lucifer for weight) If this psychopathic bitch of a stamina monster brings this kind of energy to the bedroom, (wheezes and coughs) then I'll pray for your loins the next time you guys have sex.

Charlie: (panting as she rolls onto her back, too tired to even correct the inappropriate statement) Thank you, Angel. (Tilts her head up and leans on her elbows to watch Vaggie)

Vaggie: (finishes the bear crawls and drops Lucifer off with a jump) Thanks for being my partner, Sir. (Breaks into her burpees)

Lucifer: (wheezes through little spindles of smoke) No problem, Vaggie. Anytime. (To Charlie) What do you feed that girl?

Charlie: (watching Vaggie intently with a fresh blush not caused by exertion)

Angel: Charlie?

Charlie: (watches the muscles in Vaggie's thighs and shoulders work as she speeds through her burpees)

Lucifer: Chaaaaarlie? (Snaps fingers) Little Duckie, are you alright?

Charlie: (hearts beat in her eyes and Careless Whispers plays in the background somewhere as she watches Vaggie's leg, shoulder, and back muscles contract and flex under the duress)

Vaggie: (finishes her burpees and goes into a handstand, briefly getting her balance before starting her handstand push-ups)

Charlie: (watches a bead of sweat follow the contours of Vaggie's shoulder muscles and scars and drool starts dribbling down her chin) Angel.... I need that prayer now....

Angel: Huh? (Follows Charlie'sline of sight and groans in pain as he brings his hands up in prayer) Our Unholy Father of Debauchery, please see that this horny bitch's snatch makes it safely out of the upcoming pounding she is about to receive. May her holes be elastic and well lubricated to avoid tearing, her legs be flexible as they reach behind her head, her orgasms shake her very foundation, and the aftercare be filled with all the cutsey cuddling she can handle. Amen.

Charlie: (continues watching) I wanna climb her.

Lucifer: (awkwardly) Uhhhhh.... Vaggie's not a tree, sweetie.

Charlie: I want her to *CENSORED* my *CENSORED* and *BEEEP BEEEP BEEEEEEEEP* while *CENSORED*,and then *BEEEEEEEEEEEP* and *CENSORED*

Angel: (gasps and clutches his imaginary pearls) Holy Fuck, Babe!!! Cool your jets! (Pulls out his phone and starts recording) I gotta use some of these lines at the next recording!

Charlie: When she smacks my *BEEEEP*, I want to *CENSORED* *BEEEP BEEP* and *BEEEEP-EP-EP-BEEEEEEEP* to taste *CENSORED*.

Lucifer: (faints after hearing his daughter saying such filth)

Angel: (stops recording) ......Fucking-A, Charlie, that's even making me feel dirty.....

Thank you, @sevi-fuk, for giving me the idea of Charlie going fiendish about Vaggie and her muscles.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Had a weird nightmare about a cult

It was in a church, just an average protestant midsized church, you would expect boy scout meetings in the backroom kind of a place. I was there with some anonymous friend/ acquaintance, the pretty older girl from high-school who was popular and yet genuinely nice, her mom is friends with your mom, her family is well known and well liked, offending her would be social suicide not because of anything she would do but because everyone you know would take her side and grant her victim status because she's just so nice.

She had invited me to some function and I was going out of curiosity and obligation, which is the only reason I'm ever in a church anyways. I was guaranteed to know people there, in the same roundabout, you-know-people-I-know kinda way.

Because its about to be relevant, I'm wearing skinny jeans and a sort of blousey black tank top. I've also got black nail polish and thats a fully normal irl outfit for me. Maybe a bit casual for a Sunday-best style church function, but I was not under the impression that's what I was going to.

I show up and am promptly ushered into the coat closet because what I am wearing is completely unacceptable. (I'm calling it a coat closet because that's what it is, but the churches in my area all have a full sized room set aside for outerwear storage because for half the year everyone shows up in a full down parka and that takes up a ton of space)

Anyway, I'm like, "oh shit I didn't realize this was formal, I can run home and change if its okay that I'm a few minutes late, or if someone has a spare dress I'll wear that" which is also something I have done irl. No one ever tells me anything but I'm small and can cinch down big waistlines and make it look intentional that I'm wearing wildly misfit clothing. So like, the dream is getting weird but in the same way that my real actual life gets wierd.

So then she hands me what is fundamental the same thing I'm already wearing, a pair of slightly darker wash skinny jeans that are slightly higher waisted and with more spandex and buttons, and a black polyester/lycra cropped tank top, which is a shirt I've been looking for irl. And she's apologetic about it, as in, "sorry 😞, hope these fit, 😔 might be a little small"

It's a transparent body shaming attempt, because everything is a xs or a size zero, and meant to make you feel uncomfortable and ungainly in too small clothes, but its so badly executed that I just kinda roll with it, like, okay 🤨. Also I like the tank top.

So I change, and she's finding me a bag to stash my clothes in, and some dude sticks his head in the coat closet as I've got one leg in the new pants. And the whole thing feels so very staged, like I'm supposed to be embarrassed about squeezing into too tight pants in front of some acquaintances hot older brother. Either that or my brain is trying to set up some bad porno wet dream and none of the options are working.

Because the pants fit fine and if you have somehow reached adulthood and are scandalized by the sight of a thigh you're the wierd one for being raised under a rock by blind snakes. So I'm figuring out how to fit my phone and wallet into my waistband because these pants don't have pockets and trying to remember whats-his-faces name, I'm almost certain it starts with a j and I've definitely heard it before but I can probably get away with claiming I mixed him up with someone else and not be considered rude, Jacob? Jason? Jeremy? Jed? Oh wait, is he somebody's boyfriend rather than somebody's brother?

But now he's holding my hand and tut-tuting over my nails because I absolutely cannot have black nails, and wouldn't I prefer a nice dusty pink?

At which point I think I kinda woke myself up because the no rice on Tuesdays tactic of high control groups popped into my head, by name, as that specific phrase, and I went "hmm, yep, this is weird, gimme my shit I'm leaving"

But that only conjured up the first girls mom, complete with a really nice travel duffle with my clothes in it. So I'm yanking my clothes out of the bag, because if I take the bag and leave they're going to want it back and that gives them another opening for things they think you owe them. Anyways shes dissapointed in me, in that performative manipulation kinda way. She says something like if I wanted her daughters shirt I can just have it, heavily implying that I'm causing a scene and being an unreasonable bitch, at which point it occurs to me that it's fucking wierd that they have clothes this small at all because everyone in the building is at least 6 inches taller than I am.

Whats-his-face is still hovering and now he's got a hand on my shoulder thats meant to be reassurance and all I can think is wow you guys are really bad at this. I can hear people in the next room and I know they're people like, my grandparents friends and prospective employers and other important social connections and I need to get out of here without making a scene, which isn't gonna happen.

At some point I said Jesus Christ in the context of a frustrated curse word, which they all jumped on and said I needed to let the lord into my heart or some shit. To which sleepytime subconscious responded to with CAUSE A SCENE AND CONTROL THE NARRATIVE!!!

So I raised my voice loud enough to be heard in the other room and told the guy to get his hands off me or I would punch him in the dick. And because no one believes you when you tell them you're going to punch them in the dick he did not take his hands off me and was calmly and rationally requesting that I calm down and be civil so I followed through and punched him in the dick.

Committing physical violence in a dream always wakes me up, pretty much immediately, but I did get a few glimpses of storming out through a crowd, yelling about entitled pricks in closets and if anyone ever felt like leaving the cult I would give them a hand.

So yeah. What's your religious trauma look like?

[10millionyearsdungeon]

Kinktober #6 - Cumflation

A/N: Short and sweet, this installment was a challenge if only for the lack of concept. Once we found one, it flowed and I was content. Endeavor/Enji is a wealth of kinks waiting to be mined. Hopefully this one lands...

==============================================

Office chatter was never really on Enji's radar until you came back from an assignment from the Public Safety Commission with a healthy glow rising in your cheeks. His ears perked at the sound of your voice, like caramel to his ears, and he pantomimed finishing his reports. Going through the motions, pen dragging aimlessly as he checked boxes and scribbled in half-assed notes, he couldn't help his mind from wandering as his aqua eyes raked over your body. 

 As you were recounting your meetings or the upcoming regulation changes with hero registration laws Enji was busy imagining how lovely you would be draped over the rough planes of his torso in nothing but your perfume. The fabricated memory of your delicate fingernails clawing into his back made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. You'd be rougher than his meek little trophy wife-- he could feel it down to his marrow, could see it in the way your lips curled in a charmingly disarming smirk as you spoke. How desperately would you have Endeavor beg just to drag his tongue along your curves to taste your sweat? He turned the page on the report sheet and felt the heavy ache thrum in his costume in time with his quickening heart. 

It came in flashes- a scene Enji kept tucked away like a dirty secret hidden away at the bottom of an underwear drawer, and he played on repeat in his head whenever you were near.

A flicker of cum-stained, red silk hidden beneath a gray tweed pencil skirt only hinted at the depravity he wanted to share with his unsuspecting PSC liaison. The beginning changed, but the ending was always the same. Sweat began to bead on his brow the longer he dwelled on the sight of your needy cunt drooling and twitching in anticipation. You were so tiny in comparison-- he could almost wrap his hand around your waist and sink into your warmth as if you were just another cocksleeve for him to fill. Under his heavy palm, he could feel your organs struggle to shift to accommodate what had to be the most impressive cock you've ever taken in your life. He wondered if you'd scream into the stretch, or if you'd open and accept that he had zero intentions of pulling out…

His eyes glazed over at the thought, licking his fingertips carefully to turn the page on his report. You perched yourself on the corner of your desk, unknowingly flashing Enji a scintillating view of your garter belt clipping into your stockings. The porno unfolding in his head continued, and briefly he swore he could feel your pussy clenching around his clothed cock in time with the cadence of your words. 

He could see you seated proudly on his lap, legs splayed open and dripping slick down his balls as he rutted deeper into you. His thick fingers played on your slick-soaked clit and he knew it was only a matter of time before you'd fall apart and send him careening over the edge with you. The meat of his palm rested on the obvious bulge in your abdomen, so apparent he could almost stroke himself through your soft skin. The longer he let himself linger on how best to ruin you the more Enji was left shifting in his office chair, eyes heavy with lust and want as they burned through your clothes with hellfire intensity. He felt himself seize inside your hungry pussy, craving that sensation of being milked and drained into a fertile, worthy vessel. 

The image of your panting, drooling, crying face as your stomach stretched with the Number One hero's potent seed would be forever seared into Enji's imagination. He rutted his hips up into you just to pump more of his cum into your wasted hole and to watch your belly swell. The thought of fucking a baby into you on the first go-around left him vibrating with repressed sexual desire. He crossed his legs to try and relieve some of the pressure on his tumescence. 

"Endeavor?" you murmured over him, blinking at the mess of ink and illegible reports you'd have to doctor before handing off to the PSC. It wasn't like the flame hero to ignore you. Laying a tiny, doll-like hand on his mammoth shoulder, you gave him a slight push. "Enji, are you alright?"

He looked up at you, shaking himself from his dirty daydream and felt fire burn in his pale cheeks when his eyes met yours. Hip cocked to the side, it was your turn to undress the volcano of a man with just your stare. You licked your lips and flashed him a demure smile before taking his hand, eyes flickering down to the painful erection outlined in flame-retardant spandex. 

"Let me take care of that for you."

[langdxn]

You spin me round by dead or alive!!! (Which came out in 84 how perfect is that!!) pleath

Oooooh I like your thtyle, anon 🥵 I miss Pete Burns as much as I miss Xavier! Hope you like the cheeky lyric quotes I’ve sneaked in everywhere...

It should’ve been another average Wednesday.

Swerving the Vanta-C into the car park for aerobics class, Xavier spotted a young lady scrambling under the hood of her car, teetering in impossibly high heels and a red metallic jumpsuit clinging to her curves like it was made specifically for her. Gulping hard, Xavier steered into the space beside her and flicked the engine off, swinging out of the driver’s seat and dipping under the hood ready to sass his way into her pants.

“What seems to be the matter, pretty lady?” Peering over the top of his sunglasses, Xavier scoured the workings of the car in the vain hope he could spot anything wrong. Who was he kidding? He wasn’t a mechanic, he knew nothing about cars. Maybe he could wing it and work around her at the same time, it’s the age old porno intro, tried and tested.

“I have no fucking idea,” she sighed, slapping a furious hand on the sides of the hood. “I only bought it yesterday, stupid piece of retro shit.”

“Easy tiger, it might be something simple,” Xavier’s slick tone easily concealed his cluelessness, tapping idly at each cap he could see like it would do anything. “Have you tried turning it off and on again?”

“Now why didn’t I think of that before?” She rolled her eyes and swung her hips as she made her way to the drivers seat. A turn of the keys in the ignition and all of a sudden, the engine revved as normal. She slapped the steering wheel with another rove of her eyes, relieved hands waving in the air. With any luck, she didn’t catch Xavier’s sigh of relief as his one solution actually solved her problem.

“Well what about that?” Xavier chuckled, hands posing on his hips as she swaggered back out of her car.

“How can I ever thank you, Mr...”

“Xavier, Xavier Plympton,” he proffered a hand which she took with her soft, perfectly manicured digits.

“Xavier? Xavier the saviour? Nice ring to it,” she purred, leaning back into her car to grab a rucksack from the passenger seat.

“And you are?” Xavier shoved the hood closed and leaned against it as provocatively as he possibly could. Even if he didn’t look slick, he sounded slick.

“I am… late for my drama class. You wouldn’t happen to know the way, would you?”

A broad, genuine smile spread like wildfire across Xavier’s lips.

“As it happens, yes,” he extended the crook of his arm toward her. “I’ll take you there, babe.”

———

“Xav, if you keep staring into the middle distance, you’ll steal Jack Nicholson’s thunder.”

Montana’s words flew straight over the actor’s head, too busy focusing on the blender in the corner of the break room.

“Xav…. Xav, I’m talking to you,” Montana pressed, clicking her fingers in his face. “Earth to Plympton!”

No response.

“Xavier… was that Julie Andrews walking past?”

Xavier shook dramatically, eyes darting around the room in a daze.

“Fucking knew that would get his attention,” Montana threw herself back into the couch giggling.

Chet leaned in to Xavier, who was still noticeably spaced out. “What’s her name, buddy?”

“What—who?” Xavier stuttered, knitting his brows.

“The chick you’re messed up about, man,” Ray interjected. “She must be a babe if you’re not even listening to us.”

“That’s the thing, I don’t even know her name. Do you guys know her name?”

“Dude, we don’t even know who she is,” Chet pressed. “You’re the only one that met her, remember?”

“If-if I get to know her name, I could—I, I could trace her number,” Xavier babbled, rubbing his face in his hands.

“Oh yeah, he’s got it bad,” Ray laughed as Xavier jumped to his feet, turning around with emphatic waving hands as his train of thought ran off the rails.

“Yeah, I could trace her number and find her and… and…”

“Xav, I’ve never seen you like this over a girl,” Montana planted a hand on his shoulder, putting a stop to his spinning. “Tell us, what does she look like?”

“Like… like heaven,” he sighed, a lovelorn glaze coating his eyes as he pictured her in his mind. “She looks like… like a lot of fun.”

“This is 1984, man,” Chet burst out laughing. “All girls look like fun if they’re wearing spandex.”

“Spandex!” Xavier cried like a eureka moment, a pointed finger aloft. “She was wearing red spandex!”

“Oh that chick,” Ray rose with a smile. “She was in my drama class earlier, new girl. Nice ass—”

Xavier lunged over to grab Ray’s striped shirt by the collar. “What’s her name? Do you remember her name?”

“I—I—I don’t know dude,” Ray raised his hands in his defence, causing Xavier to jump back. “I’m no good with names!”

“Fuck,” Xavier spat, grasping at his own frosted hair and pulling frantically. “What do I do now?”

“Could ask admin for Ray’s class register?” Montana shrugged.

“Oh—oh—okay, where’s admin?” Xavier grabbed his turquoise backpack, strapping himself in tightly as if preparing for a mountain trek.

“Front desk, by the parking lot,” Chet pointed a hand toward the door.

Xavier’s eyes widened.

“That’s it!” He squealed, bolting to the door with a thankful wave aimed back at the crew. “The parking lot!”

Staring at each other bemused, Xavier’s friends settled back into their seats.

“Well whoever he’s set his sights on,” Montana sighed, “she better watch out because here comes Xavier motherfucking Plympton.”

———

Xavier waited impatiently, breathlessly, cluelessly beside the Vanta-C, thoughts racing through genius chat-up lines to fire at her when the mysterious girl returned to her car. Perched in the open back door of his van, he tried out numerous seated positions to look more relaxed, but there was no hiding his nerves. By the time he settled for a crossed leg and arm, the unmistakable clink of her heels neared the vehicles. Slicking a hand over his quiff and chucking his sunglasses back on, his moment had finally come.

“Thought I’d find you here,” her honey tone broke through the pounding of Xavier’s heartbeat in his ears, completely throwing him off his plan.

“Me? I—I’ve just finished my aerobics class,” he smoothed his hair a second time, desperate to give his shaking hands something to do as she bundled into her car. “I’m teaching this week.”

“Of course you are, Xavier the saviour. Saving the world one hip roll at a time?”

“I guess so,” Xavier chuckled under his breath, gaze dropping to the floor as she closed her car door and wound her window down.

“Well it was nice meeting you, Plympton,” she dismissed as she slotted her key in the ignition. Xavier swallowed hard, willing it to fail.

She turned it once, the car revved but cut out immediately. Twice, nothing that time. Third time, nothing. Xavier had to fight the urge to punch the air.

“Fuck, not again,” she fumed, beating the steering wheel.

“I—I can give you a ride home?” Xavier stammered nervously. “I’m in no rush, babe.”

“Xavier the saviour strikes again,” she hummed, stepping out of her car and slamming the door behind her.

Xavier jumped to his feet to open the passenger door, but she grabbed his lavender sweater by the collar and pushed him down flat on his back, the Vanta-C’s carpet greeting his spine with a thud as she tumbled on top of him.

“What was that for?”

Xavier laughed nervously as she hovered her lips dangerously close to his, before she slowly closed the gap between them and locked her lips over his. Xavier’s eyes stayed open for a split second, utterly dumbstruck for what felt like forever, until he eventually melted into her kiss, hands wandering to gently cup her face.

Surfacing for breath and leaving Xavier whimpering at the loss her lips, she reached back to close the van door and then toward the dashboard radio over the front seat.

“We need music?” Xavier asked with a chuckle as she clicked the radio on and cranked up the volume. Dead Or Alive’s You Spin Me Round poured through the crappy dashboard speakers, cracking a cheeky grin as she returned to fumble with Xavier’s sweater.

“I fucking love this song,” she exclaimed, returning her lips back to his but Xavier planted a hushing finger between them.

“Not until you tell me your goddamn name.”

[chromecutie]

Cable x Reader - burlesque fluff!

A/N - unedited because I got sleepy but I still wanted y'all to be able to enjoy it for Saturday Night!

Tag: @starman-thorsus-canos-jock @emma-frxst (idk who else would want to be on a Cable taglist if I had one, but here y'all go!)

________

It was a Saturday night, and the team managed to not have a mission. Colossus tried to suggest a board game from the fancy high-strategy collection, but was quickly shot down by Wade (“What, so Domino can ruin us all again? I don’t think so!”). Wade tried to suggest a movie, but Cable cut him off before he could finish his suggestion (“I cannot watch the porno version of Predator again.”).

Domino hoped you might make a suggestion everyone could agree to, and finally asked, “Where the hell is Y/N?”

Wade howled at the top of his lungs, “YYYYY/NNNNN???”

“SHE’S NOT HERE,” Cable practically roared to make himself heard.

Colossus couldn’t help glancing around. He hadn’t noticed when you left, and felt a little embarrassed like he’d made a rookie mistake. “Do you know where she went?”

Cable fixed his gaze back on the gun he was cleaning. It was already clean; at this point he was fidgeting. “If she wanted us to know,” he hedged, “she would’ve said something before she left.”

“Ohhhh my god,” Wade gasped, “You do know!” He clapped his hands, excited to play a guessing game. “What’s she up to? Underground boxing? Secret meth habit? Robbing a bank?”

“No.”

“High stakes poker? Cock fighting?”

“No!”

They all said some variation of, “Then what??” in unison.

Cable sighed. He couldn’t deny that he wanted to see you, but he was pretty sure you wouldn’t want the whole gang showing up. Surely, if you had, you would have dropped some kind of hint. “We gotta dress up,” he said finally. “Black tie. And we gotta pick up flowers on the way.”

…

The gang had done their best on short notice. Domino wore a short, black cocktail dress cut so tight it was a wonder it didn’t split when she got in and out of the car. Colossus still wore his cargo pants and work boots, but classed up with a dress shirt, black suit jacket, and a tie. Wade, to no one’s surprise but everyone’s quiet exasperation, was in full Deadpool gear with a bow tie. Cable had managed to find a full three-piece suit, and though it wasn’t a perfect fit, he made it work. In his metal hand he held a bouquet of roses. They weren’t the freshest flowers, but they were the best that the store had.

They stood in the parking lot of a shabby strip mall and Domino said, “Looks like a nice neighborhood to sell your kidney.”

“This way,” Cable led them to the back door of one of the suites. He knocked and was quickly greeted by a drag queen in green glitter eyeshadow and three-inch long lashes.

“Hi honey,” the queen made a kissy noise and asked, “Who y’all with tonight?”

“Liz Lugosi,” Cable said as if he had been here several times.

The queen lit up with glee and put a long-fingered hand on Cable’s shoulder. “Ohhh! Lizzie didn’t mention anyone coming tonight!”

Cable gestured vaguely to the roses. “She’s not expecting us.”

The queen made a purse-lipped smile and shimmied her shoulders, hardly able to wait until she could spill this tea later. The team paid for their tickets and were ushered inside to pick a table.

The floor was full of glammed up people milling about, sipping cocktails and snacking on Chex Mix. The tables all faced a makeshift stage with a curtain made of cheap velvet. “What is this place?” Colossus folded himself into a chair that was too small for him, but he wouldn’t complain.

“It’s a kids’ ballet studio during the day,” Cable replied. “This is probably how they pay rent, though.”

Domino caught on and grinned, “It’s a speakeasy burlesque show.”

Wade cracked up laughing in earnest. Pretending to wipe away tears from his mask, he said, “What’s her act? Kicking off her boots and sexily peeling off a spandex onesie?”

“You’ll see,” Cable said impatiently. “Shit like this is probably why Y/N - Liz - never mentioned it, you assclown.”

The show started soon enough. Three performers in sparkly costumes made a show of sneaking out from behind the curtain. Each held a microphone. “Good eeeevening, daaaarlings!” the one in purple sequins drawled. The crowd applauded, some hooted.

The second performer wore something like a green velvet bikini with a lot of feathers. She tossed her blonde curls and said, “Who here has been to our show before? Come on, make some noise!” Almost everyone gave a shout except Cable, Wade, Domino, and Colossus.

“I don’t know that we should have come here,” Colossus whispered. Domino hushed him quickly.

The third performer wore a long, black satin robe, trimmed in purple rhinestones that glittered in the stage lights. She wore a wig of bright pink waves and cocked a hip as she turned toward their table. “I understand we’ve got some new blood in the house tonight.” The pink-haired performer sauntered between tables as she continued in a sultry purr, “So let’s go over the ground rules. If you’ve been here before, say them with me! Rule One!”

The audience responded, slightly drunk and mostly in unison, “No photos or video! We do this show live and only live!”

“That’s right,” she let out an easy giggle. “Rule Two?”

“No touching the performers unless you are specifically asked!” One young woman added in a buzzed, but enthusiastic slur, “Consent fucking matters!”

“YES, HONEY!” the blonde in the green bikini agreed.

The pink-wigged woman beamed. “Wonderful. You know, just to make a point,” she went over to the buzzed woman’s table. “Why don’t you give me a good slap on the ass, huh? Not too high on the cheek now, nice and low.” She leaned over, sticking out her round butt. When the patron gave a smack loud enough for every table to hear, the performer snapped straight again with a surprised hoot. “That’s how I like it! Haha, and Rule Three, let’s go!” She gestured grandly, long sleeves swaying.

The veteran audience chorused, “If you see something you like, make some noise!”

The three performers gathered in front of the curtain again and struck a sexy pose that showed off cleavage, thighs, and arched spines. The crowd made a good ruckus of whistling and applause, the X-Force gang included.

The show continued - there was an opening group number, the drag queen from the entrance sang a parody cover of a popular love song, there were a few aerial silks numbers, and of course classic burlesque striptease. Domino and Wade had gotten comfortable quickly, cheering and applauding each performer like they were the sexiest they had ever seen. Colossus took a while to loosen up, but even he enjoyed the athletic fluidity of the silks performers. Strength, flexibility, and making it all look beautiful with a big showgirl smile? Gold star in Colossus’s book. Each performer had gotten a funny and colorful introduction by the drag queen, who was emceeing most of the show.

“Our last lady of the night,” the queen teased, “has a slither that’ll make you shiver and she has NOOO idea how to just SIT in a chair!” The crowd chuckled. The drag queen bobbed her head and gave a wide flourish, “Just make sure you check for fangs before you kiss her - it’s Liiiiz Lugosiiii!!!!” The crowd hollered and clapped as the curtain drew back, revealing the pink wigged woman with the black satin robe.

Something steamy and full of saxophone blared over the sound system as Y/N, aka Liz Lugosi, swirled her robe - and disappeared. She reappeared a few feet away in a puff of smoke, similar to Colossus’s friend Kurt. As Liz Lugosi swirled, floated, and poofed around the stage, Colossus couldn’t help but note that where Kurt’s ability was abrupt like popping a balloon full of smoke, Y/N was smooth and soft, like drips of ink in water. A simple folding chair was on the stage, and in another few beats, Liz let her robe slide from her shoulders, down her back, and onto the floor. Domino glanced over at Cable and saw his face was relaxed in a gentle smile, eyes shining in the light.

Liz Lugosi turned to the front - and revealed that she appeared to be wearing nothing but black and purple rhinestones. Of course, her thong and pasties were there, but they matched her skin tone and the stones and beads had been carefully stitched and glued to cover them. The crowd screeched their appreciation. Wade yelled, “Holy shit!” but Cable barely even registered it.

“How did you find out about this?” Colossus asked him.

Cable answered without taking his eyes off Y/N, “I followed her to rehearsal once, to see where she goes.”

The stage floor filled with rolling fog as Liz Lugosi tossed her pink waves and slid over the chair so her chest was on the seat and her legs arched over her head. The rest of her routine was a series of acrobatic rolls and stands on and around the chair. Just when it looked like she would sit normally, she would turn and suddenly she was upside down, nearly sitting her butt on her head, with her legs in a deep split.

“Is that a mutation?” Domino asked, astounded.

“No,” Cable beamed, absolutely smitten, “she can just do that.”

Wade clapped for a particularly unexpected roll off of the chair. “I can’t believe she’s been holding out on us!”

Colossus agreed, smiling despite the awkwardness of seeing a coworker mostly naked for the first time, “You can tell how much she’s enjoying herself.”

As her number ended, Liz Lugosi bowed, dramatically tossing her pink waves. The team cheered louder than any other table and drew her attention. If she was caught by surprise, she didn’t let it show, maintaining her stage persona. She swayed her wide hips over to their table, and made the rounds expressing her thanks. She kissed Colossus on the cheek and left a red print on his chrome skin, though he froze when her boobs touched his arm. Domino soaked it up when she got a kiss on the cheek too. Wade didn’t get a kiss until he laid his palms on the table, and he all but squealed with delight. Cable, subdued and a little sheepish, offered the roses when she got to him. Instead of kissing his cheek, she pressed her lips to his and made it steamy enough that the crowd hooted and whistled louder than ever.

Y/N pulled away and teased in Cable’s ear, “Do I need to learn to cover my tracks better?”

“Aw, I hope you never do,” he was still grinning like a fool, “I’ve been wanting to bring you flowers for a while.”

She pulled away and she was Liz Lugosi again. Bouquet cradled against her heart, she winked and sashayed back to the stage to pick up her robe. The curtain closed, and Cable didn’t even try to hide how light and pleased he felt after getting to kiss the woman he’d been quietly pining after for months.

[feet-daily]

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[beauty-toes]

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[dreid-after-dark]

Wet dream: Anna finds herself in the middle of one of those 80s workout videos, where everyone is in spandex and tights and such. Yet, as she watches, the people around her outfits start to get skimpier, they start becoming more attractive, and the 'exercises' easily turn into sex, until she's at the center of a workout orgy

The thing with dreams, is that while you’re dreaming they feel entirely natural. So Anna didn’t question it at all as for why she was fully human again. Or dressed in very dated clothing. However, she did find herself enjoying the sights of her fellow tights clad exercisers. She caught herself staring at one woman’s ass for quite a while. She blushes when she realizes what she was doing, hoping she didn’t ruin the workout video they were all filming. But it wasn’t her fault! That lady was so hot in her bikini and--wait, what? Looking around Anna would see that no one was wearing the tights anymore, instead everyone was very scantily dressed. Including herself. She stammers, not sure what was going on before the instructor tells everyone to pair up. She does so, ending up with a hunk of a man, and listens as the instructor tells everyone to start doing “tongue exercises”. Before she knew it, she was making out with her partner. And soon the instructions got more and more lewd and perverse. Anna realized that this was very quickly going from workout video to porno, but her body wouldn’t obey her. It would only obey the orders of the instructor, who was now orchestrating the massive group orgy. In fact, the more Anna looked at the instructor, the more familiar she looked, until her name was on the tip of Anna’s tongue that was currently licking one woman’s clit.

“Tawn--”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anna wakes up in her bed with a jolt. Her eyes wide open as she stares at a wall and blinks several times in shock. She looks down at her body, almost disappointed to see her familiar metal form. It felt so real. Even if things spiraled out of control. She sighs as she rubs her head, and heads to the kitchen to make some coffee. Might as well, she definitely wasn’t going to be able to fall back asleep anytime soon she thinks as she idly rubs between her legs at a phantom yearning that wouldn’t be leaving her anytime soon.

“I have gotta be careful of what I watch before I go to bed...”

[noisybirdfestival-blog]

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