#sowwy for rambling

[fake-ascension]

damn. i miss aventurine sm..............

i feel like i did him SO dirty bc he was the character i was most excited for and knew right away i was making an oc to ship with

his whole story in the trailblaze mission hit me like i truck like. i sobbed multiple times and it was so agonizing because i got SPOILED for the 2.1 quest bc genshit/hsr twt is horrendous and were posting CONSTANTLY about 'oh look here's his broken cornerstone and this text message that said he may or may not be alive' so i was so fucking anxious leading up to the actual quest

but at the same time i was in a different fandom space at the time (probably still sobbing over neuvi/wetrabbit........ or wait no it was otto i think) i was so emotionally invested but also. not at the same time jfdsklfds

like aster/pollux has got to be one of my most complex characters ive made:

was raised in an annihilation gang sub-faction of halovians and probably committed wayyyy to many war crimes, including ravaging entire planets into Nothing

has some sort of epiphany that causes them to defect from the annihilation gang; not out of guilt but they were rabidly falling into ix's shadow and was just like, 'nothing matters, whats the point of living to destroy or to destroy to live'

they are pulled out of the void by a self annihilator/doctor of chaos, the 'real' aster. who happens to be a victim of a civilization that was decimated by the annihilation gang, the sole survivor that will be remembered by none

i can't even describe aster & pollux relationship; its completely undefinable. they are two nobodies who would travel the universe and no one will remember them.... but its ok bc they have each other.

aster eventually dies, loosing the fight against ix's shadow. and pollux is about to be completely swallowed by the void, you would think that theyre like 'oh no i cant be alone i dont want to be alone the only person that knows me is gone and nothing else matters' but theyre actually just experiencing the overwhelming feeling 'they cant die, they deserve to be remembered by anyone and everyone this wonderful human being CANNOT be remembered by just me'

and thats when they are gazed upon by fuili, becoming an emanator of remembrance: all because they wanted to keep the memory of their dead friend alive

thus pollux takes on the identity of 'aster' becoming their friend, its their way of keeping aster 'alive' and honoring their memory: with a goal of interaction with as many people as possible so that aster will be remembered by them.

the guardian of recollection's purpose to preserve ALL memory of the universe while aster's purpose is to keep the memory of ONE person alive

wiat this was. supposed to be abt aventurine and avenaster.............

i guess bc aster is so developed on her own w/o the need to attach her to a canon character romance for a good chunk of her development. i'd say that acheron and the astral express have the BIGGEST influence on aster

like i love wetrabbit and silvanus so much but. silvie is much more of a personal character to me, she still has complex character traits but a lot of her development is fueled by nearly the entire fontaine cast and that allowed me to think more abt her close relationships with the cast & especially neuvi. so i get more ship content

but anyways. stan luckyrabbits <3

[blanketorghost]

Hello!!

Uhm so you might've noticed my blog is pretty empty rn.... this is for a good reason, though! I am going all-in on my grad project, which is a small demo of an rpg maker game based on nightmares/experiences I had at school when I was a kid :^)

of course I'll still be manning the shop and ship all orders (IF THEY WOULD ARRIVE) but aside from like, one illustration I'm making right now, I'll practically be dead art-wise in here 😔😔😔

If you want to check out my progress and follow my grueling journey into coding a game for the first time, feel free to check out @recess-game !! (go here for the full experience yippee)

[deimosatellite]

reading a tolstoy and a steinbeck back to back is actually giving me so much whiplash bc i went from anna karenina where tolstoy gives the point of view of the upper class landowner being ohh so saddd bc hes so upset he exploits his workers feel bad for himmm and puts his own hypocrisy and fetishization of the working class on display vs grapes of wrath showing the true depths of the strength of the working class and the real tragedy of the dehumanization of workers and complete disregard for human life by the wealthy... lets just say i feel even more ire towards anna karenina today AKNSMDMDKDK

[castielsprostate]

i dunno i think a lot of people have a very love hate relationship with the queer community because of the way the 90s/00s/10s media portrayed any sort of gay/queer/trans/lesbian/ace/etc relationship (whether in relations to others or themselves) as this inherent "silliness"? as this thing you're not supposed to talk about. it exists, but never let it show. it's there, but it shouldn't be seen. it's tolerable as long as it is silent.

it all ties back into misogynistic and the patriarchal systems that keep being persisted now. it's told as being a gay man is taking away your manhood, you are seen as weak and frilly and clearly not good enough to be a Real Man™. and being a lesbian takes away your femininity, you're too rough around the edges and are too manly thus you're not pretty because men can't be pretty that would mean they're gay, and thus you are not good enough to be a Real Woman™. the only "acceptable" way to be if you HAVE to be queer in any way is bisexual as long as you are a side character and stick to the "other side" when dating and end up with the opposite gender when getting married and settling down.

and even if the elements above were minor, being queer was shown as a struggle, something ugly and as a dirty little secret. a queer relationship was shown to be a funny gag, a dramatic storyline to have Normal Characters™ complete their acceptance storyline or advance their plots whilst the queer character is pushed off to the side. surface level inclusivity messages that are dressed up in "we love everyone" with the underlying tone of "we tolerate you as long as we have to and you're only here so we can hit a bigger audience"

all this to say that this is the reason most actors, male and female, are so opposed to admitting the characters they played in those decades were queer-coded in any way, shape or form. because that would mean voicing the quiet part out loud when they were told to keep it silent

[chrysopoeias]

Insane that Mustang made Hawkeye his moral conscience responsible for keeping him on the right path because he does not trust his own moral compass anymore. But who’s keeping Hawkeye’s moral compass pointed north? Her dog??

I wanna see her do fucked up things and be pushed to the limit. That one untranslated spinoff game where she almost assassinates the crown prince of another country and was nearly responsible for dooming Amestris to more endless wars just to protect her teammates is so juicy for that. Its canon and real to me. I wish I could play/read/understand it in full context.

[catcze]

wriothesley arguing in french with someone pissing him off has to be SOOO HOT

Dude imma be real, as someone who has seen her s/o at the time argue with someone in their native language, it is leagues more attractive than seeing some basic ass english argument so ���� You're so on the money for this HAHAHAHA Like ?!?!? Idk what it is, but there's such a different confidence and cadence that comes out when someone argues in their native language?! And fuck, even if u don't understand all of it at the time (lord knows i didn't haskdnj) it's just so;;; hot to see your person absolutely grilling someone 🥵🥵 Like;; idk what it is, but i just find it so impressive when people can speak multiple languages ? and when you mix how unfairly attractive some people can get when they're mad + seeing their mastery over another language!?!? Fucking goodness. Amazing.

And man, Wrio is already hot period. But when he's pissed enough that he starts speaking straight in his native tongue, his eyes narrowed at someone else and his jaw clenched so tight that you see a muscle fucking jump— dude, that's so fucking hot. And hearing him swear ?!!? You're not sure about anything else he's said, but you've been around Fontaine long enough to know when something's a swear word, and the way he swears with such anger and vitriol directed at the other person... damn. LIke,,,, i don't know how to express it while still sounding sane, but it's just so impressive to see how he code switches to his native tongue so well??! ahjsbdja IDK IDK IDKKK

[hummingjay]

Do you have any songs that you associate with Signalis or any of the replikas?

Ooo, that’s a toughie, actually. I mostly listen to songs cause they help with depression, but this one fella on Reddit played Die totininsel on a genshin impact LYRE off all things, and it’s quite honestly really good. Then there’s Riot Control, the one with all the banging? I like the banging, I kinda envision a bunch of starlings with shields facing a mob and it’s really fun.

Then for non-signalis songs I really like “I’ll be okay” by Nothing more. Sometimes it feels like Elster dealing with loss, saying it’s all worth it.

I also really like “Black Holes” by The Blue Stones. It makes me think of combat replikas, mostly Elster, getting up again and again even if reality seems to be solid and unreal at the same time. I also relate to it which helps.

what’s really funny is that the songs I associate with signals don’t actually remind me of signalis. I’ve been listening to Citizen Soldier quite a bit, mostly because it helps with depression like I said. I draw to feel better and I mainly draw the robo-lesbians, so ultimately I’m listening to a random song and I’m thinking about Ara cause I’m always drawing her when I listen. I don’t think of her specifically I just associate the song with drawing her? It’s weird.

I WOULD recommend listening to the lyre version of Die Toteninsel here, cause it’s really good.

I wouldn’t REALLY recommend Citizen Soldier since it’s nothing too signalis based, and the songs are kinda sad. On the other hand they’re really good. So up to you ultimately.

[newluvrs]

Happy valentines 🫶🏼 miss yall.. can’t do boob pc trend bc I am nawt well endowed like that but this is good enuff

[buttdumplin]

telling me to stand up, pls that's never gonna happen, i'll stay on my knees

[ichorblossoms]

i love grimm and yarrow dearly for many reasons and one of which is that while grimm is having a conundrum over if it's still okay to call yarrow "honeybee", yarrow's trying to speedrun how many stupid bee puns they can make

[heartsbind]

name. shannon pronouns. they/them preferred comms. discord is fastest, but tumblr ims also work! name of muse(s). top five strongest go - my oc tatsu, megumi fushiguro, sae itoshi, tsumiki fushiguro, reo mikage experience with RP. okay so i was 12 and very into kingdom hearts when i found this random fansite with a forum that people were just using for RP. in retrospect i was veery fortunate that everyone was chill and also young, but i actually still keep in touch with a lot of them to this day! from there i moved to gaiaonline, fb, started tumblr rpc around 2010-2011 through 2018, fell off tumblr rpc, was briefly abbacchio in jjba rp 2019-early 2020, fell off again bc my computer was dying and mental health, and now i'm back again as of this past may! best experiences. ok this is SO sappy i'm sorry but easily that i met my husband in mass effect rpc! i was only writing kaidan at the time, he also wrote kaidan, and one day he hit my inbox to tell me how much he really liked my kaidan muse and we bonded over it and kind of became each other's primary kaidans for our own sheps DKFHDKJFDSF. he came out to visit me and then just... did not go home DSKFDSKFJDSF and then we got married 3 years ago. he's my favorite writer and we still write with each other over discord to this day. <3 pet peeves / dealbreakers. i really don't know that i get annoyed by much but my anxiety does spike really easily so i do try to curate my feed accordingly. i've had bad experiences in the past and so i try to really have the vibe of like... maintaining that balance of passion and love for this hobby while also reiterating that it is just a hobby that should be fun way more than it should be stressful - and that i hope that there's no stress when interacting with me! muse preference (fluff, angst, smut). i am kind of a huge fluff person. when the real world stresses me out, i just want to write my muses being happy! i love thinking about them having fun and being with friends and being in love, but i also really love diving into emotions and a lot of my muses are complex enough that it leans into angst sometimes too, like hurt/comfort with an emphasis on comfort. i do have fun with really dynamic threads too, be it because there's a lot of snappy dialogue or because there's action or because i'm juggling more than one muse at a time etc. plots or memes. there's pros and cons to both. memes are great to kickstart things for me but i tend to really like the asks prompts that are more action-heavy than dialogue heavy, like "our muses are putting out a fire" as opposed to a quote from shakespeare that my muses are just too casual to ever say (although some of them are REALLY amazing quotes and do have their place!). i like to think i'm slowly getting better at plotting again (bizarrely i did not realize how much of a skill it had been for me until i hadn't done it for four years and then realized i didn't know how to do it anymore). long or short replies. here's the thing... i ramble. you all have figured that out by now probably. i sometimes accidentally make posts long. i do like to write and i LOVE to read long replies that have been so lovingly crafted for me. but my brain SUCKS and the longer a reply is, the more my brain gets psyched out in matching the length and then the longer it takes for me to reply. except then, when i go to actually reply, i wind up matching length like really easily, and i've waited five months to reply for nothing! i suck DFKSKFJDSF. best time to write. when i am supposed to be doing something else KDFHKDSFDSF. are you like your muse? i think there are aspects of me in all of my characters to some degree but i'm really only saying that because i can't pick one muse to talk about. characters who happen to be older siblings i've realized has become a bit of a staple of mine, especially when i can explore that "eldest daughter" idea with them, as an eldest child/daughter.

tagged by: @nvictive <3 bless you for giving me the opportunity to talk about myself again KSJNDFSDJNFDSF tagging: i'm so bad at tagging people so the person reading this KDSFKDSFDSFSF. if you're sitting there thinking oh shannon probably doesn't mean me, yes i do. do it. take it. tell me about yourself. tag me and make me read it.

[mr-palindrome]

Guys im getting into the punk scene and i think its very politically correct and good but i have a dilemma

So the meat industry is shit right

Okay

But

Im AUTISTIC AND THE MAJORITY OF FOODS I CAN EAT ARE MEAT

My mum has been trying to go vegetarian so maybe I'll join her but again i will repeat im autistic and most non-meats make me want to cry

I think I've heard going to a butcher's for meat is more humane?? Idk though

Help

[nerves-nebula]

guy who says "I'm not anti-kink but- (most classic case of anti kink nonsense you've ever heard couched in a Think Of The Victims mindset that is older than they are)" is one of my least favorite kinds of person. how can you claim not to be anti-something when u clearly have never thought or looked into the rhetoric or mindset behind being anti-That Thing

[fuzzyelves]

isnt it crazy how straight people hate each other like they really do. Not even just on a “gender norms and socialization clashing” way but they arent even attracted to each other. The Tragedy of Heterosexuality by Jane Ward talks about the difference in how straight people express attraction vs gay people. and how straight people only like each other when they are so primed, plucked, toned, perfumed, and waxed into a completely different creature. How can you call yourself attracted to that gender when there’s nothing about them left? There’s no fat, no hair, no sweat, no smell. no wonder theyre all nuts

[r0zzk1ll]

Hello bendy fandom Really fucking long rant/analysis abt me defending wally franks batim in a nutshell (and kind of basically making an au??.?. idk probably). enjoy if u want or don't idc 🎷🐇

i know this is a really stupid thing to be mad about, but the fact that wally isnt buddy boris has stuck with me ever since dctl was released. i found out through a fucking superhorrorbro video of all things all the way back in like 2018 i'm pretty sure 😭😭 i was so disappointed when i found out bc like WHAT DO U MEAN THE JANITOR/HANDYMAN OF JOEY DREW STUDIOS, EHO WAS GENERALLY A TRICKSTER AND A CLUTZ AND LIKED TO PISS PEOPLE OFF, ISN'T THE PERFECT BORIS CLONE. BUDDY BORIS FITS/HAD POTENTIAL TO FIT MOST TO ALL OF THAT CRITERIA.

and don't grt me wrong, i (kind of) like buddy as a character, BUT i really just don't think he fits the role (from what i've seen/read). like he could've been a different boris clone as a little easter egg/nod to what happened to him and how he died but as like. an important role in the game?? even though the books aren't even fucking canon apparently now so his subplot doesn't even make sense anymore?????.????... ooh bitchh

ALSO the "he (wally) got outta there that's why/he has a wife and kids" IS A WEAK ASS FUCKING ARGUMENT. THIS IS NOT A SHITS AND GIGGLES PLOTLINE U CAN JUST THROW AWAY. how come thomas grts to be tom (which makes somewhat sense with him also being a handyman type of guy), but wally can't also partake in the Main Character-ified Borisification to help henry traverse the studio. why can't that just be so easy to do. there could've been so many cool extra plotpoints and nods to what could've happened to him but Noooo Noooooooooo they just HAD to make a whole new character JUST for wally to NOT BE BORIS. ESPECIALLY WHEN THE BOOKS ARE NON CANON NOW BECAUSE THAT MAKES TOTAL SENSE. (/sarc)

and don't FUCKING quote me on batds bc i know SOMEBODU will be like "b-b-b-bbut b-b-buddy's whole s-s-side plot with collecting the scraps in batds makes him c-c-c-canon!!! 🥺🥺🥺💖😭😭💔💔💔🎀🎀✨✨ ur just mad bc it's not what was assumed by the fandom!! ;-; úwù heh..." FIRST OF ALL, BUDDY ISNT EVEN MENTIONED IN ANY OF THE CANON GAMES (besides the secret message in the safehouse but i don't think that rlly counts imo), NOR DOES HE HAVE ANY RELEVANCE IN THE STORY WHATSOEVER, WHICH MEANS HE IS STRICTLY BOOK-CANON. SECOND OF ALL, BATDS WAS KNOWN AS A SIDE/EXTRA GAME AT THE TIME OF IT'S RELEASE AND WASN'T EVEN CONFIRMED TO BE APART OF BATIM OR ANY OTHER PART OF THE FRANCHISE (ASIDE FROM A SIDE GAME TO PLAY WHILE BATDR WAS IN PRODUCTION) UNTIL BATDR WAS RELEASED AND CONFIRMED BATDS IS HAPPENING DURING IT (WHICH DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE EITHER)!!!

I DON'T CARE WHAT KIND OF OPINION COULD CHANGE MY MIND. WE GOT A PERFECTLY GOOD AND WELL-DEVELOPED CHARACTER (AND A [PERSONAL] FAN FAVORITE) AT THAT POINT FOR WHO BORIS COULD'VE BEEN, AND IT GOT TAKEN FOR SOME STUPID SEEMINGLY HALF-ASSED SUBPLOT THAT'S ONLY HALF-CANON NOW BECAUSE MIKE FUCKING D IS A GOD DAMN MORON IDIOT BASTARD ASS BITCH OHHH MY GOD IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY I'M GONNA PULL OUT ALL MY HAUR

sorry. almost lost my cool there guys.. ☝️😎 (/J)

soo with all that said, PERSONALLY this is what i think they should've done with buddy instead (under the cut so this post isn't 600 pages long)

first of all; scrap buddy's origin story completely and just make dtcl about the fact that he was simply another victim of the machine instead of making him such a major character (ex. a boris clone that was almost perfect but didn't quite make it like i said earlier)

on top of that, dctl could've just been insight on a single worker's process through working at the studio to being one of many victims of the machine, instead of turning him into such a titular important gary stu ass character with an in-depth backstory and Joey Drew Favoritism™ apparently that CLEARLY didn't need it + shouldn't be an mc if he's only in the books + the books aren't canon and the games are. so then it doesn't make it make any sense if he has such an important role and he isn't even fucking canon anyway and etc.

if he would've just stayed a minor inconvenient mc in a non-canon book it wouldn't have been detrimental to the lore as Mr. D Likes To Exaggerate (to me) + the books just seem like a fun one-off exclusive to the game series anyway, so it starts to kind of make sense why they aren't canon and leaves a lot of mysteries up to interpretation which is something i DO appreciate (to a CERTAIN extent)

here's what i think could've been done if wally was actually buddy boris and faced The Horrors™ like a normal main character should. an au, if you will (AND bc im VERY bias abt wally since He was my first ever og blorbo the first time i heard his audio log i literally owe him my Life💜💜💜💜)

wally could've started dropping hints in his audio logs that something funny was happening in the studio (specifically to him)/he could've been the last major victim to be sacrificed to the machine and therefore being one of the reasons of having the role of "the perfect boris" as malice said

-he also seems like the type of person to give into manipulation fairly easily, not knowing how truly bad something is before he gets involved yk

-a bit of a stretch BUT could also be a nod to susie's initial likeness towards wally pre-canon and vice versa (sourced from the special audio log wally has on the jds yt channel)

-him being the perfect boris also could allude to his personality/attributes and the way he talked abt the studio

and you can't forget the audio log of him and thomas bickering like COME ONNNN THERE COULD'VE BEEN A WHOOOLE SUB-SUBPLOT WHERE TOM AND BUDDY BORIS RECOGNIZE EACH OTHER SOMEHOW AT SOME POINT BUT THEY DON'T KNOW HOW

-TOM COULD'VE RECOGNIZED HIM EVEN AS BRUTE BORIS AFTER HENRY KILLS HIM and allison too but TOMMMMMMM😭😭😭😭😭CAN ANYONE HEAR MEEEEE

extra hints in the game like certain phrases and mannerisms of his (ink/glowing ink writings like his "i'm outta here!" written in certain locations or like. boris being clumsier as he walks/carrying around keys/scavenging for food [kind of like in the start of chapter 3], etc.)

-i also think that the connection that buddy boris (and just boris in general) has with food can connect with wally as well bc of the audio log where he's like "Omg 💖 Cake 💖just for me! Don't Tell Anyone Though. Our little secret. 😝" or the bit in the handbook where he finds some "churros" i Guess

there's also a LOT of potential for there to be a whole OTHER subplot where sammy could have found him one day and hadn't recognized him bc All The Boris Clones Look The Same, but buddy boris recognized sammy and there could be a whole conversation with henry and sammy abt him and dropping hints at it and blahblahblah etc etc.

-sammy probably could've mentioned him* at some point too even if he hadn't seen buddy boris as like a "hey.. i knew that fuckass guy.. wtf" (*and i know he mentions wally in the hot topic takeover thing on twitter from a while ago but i mean like in the actual game)

i think that the fact of boris being a Non-Verbal King™ would also be a funny contrast to how many god damn audio logs wally has. like Shut yuor mouth fucker /REF

the bit in chapter 3 where boris knows every nook and cranny of the studio and how to navigate the vent system could also lead to wally's nature of having a lot of knowledge of the layout to the building (due to being a janitor/running errands for people, similar to buddy) + he mentions staying in late to freshen up some offices so he might've explored more using that time as well because his personality shows he's a bit of a nosy guy

ALSO a stretch, but wally's first audio log in chapter one being fairly close to the first boris corpse displayed could've been a good foreshadow to his revival as buddy boris (and where the theory originated i'm pretty sure once ch2 came out)

the saferoom at the start of chapter 3 could've also been a great place to reference him (they could've put his hat from bendy royale in the shelf next to/on the hammock Can anyone hear me)

i also think that wally is supposed to be painted as an older guy?? so he probably already would've moved on from the studio due to leaving and starting his own business and having a family I Guess?????? idk but to me i think he'd be more of the college drop-out that thinks he's hot shit type of guy when in reality he doesn't know what a 2 + 2 is (ex. the audio log in batds where he's like "i was the best Student! Brickmore High! [tiktok bold emoji] These college bozos don't be knowin' shit!!"

-younger people are easier to manipulate like i talked abt earlier (especially someone like him that doesn't think before he Does Anything . boy has no thoughts)

wally also most likely would've known who henry was/was friendly with him while working there too at some point while henry was still at the studio pre-canon, so he probably recognized him throughout the cycle

i could ramble forever abt this bc it's such a strangely frustrating topic for me BUT in conclusion; i personally tbink that it would've been perfectly logical for wally to have been buddy boris (probably called somethig else), and buddy should've been a completely seperate character that would've done just as well on his own in the book instead of having a whole ass overarching plot for no reason?? and the "canonicity" of it is weirdly up for debate??? idk Watever thank you for coming to my tedtalk 😇���Bye

⭐ !! bonus wally doodle dump since u made it this far !! seriously why r u Here ⭐

[cherry-bomb-ships]

Someone in Townsville goes "You've been hanging around that evil monkey again haven't you" and Cherry Coading's like I have no knowledge of nor can I possibly imagine what you may be referring or alluding to 😳