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gyubby99 · 1 year ago

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@disneyanddisneyships me when im obsessed with two things and I put them together

Summary: an anniversary tribute by Emilia Hartfelt.

"A Million Miles Away"

[Heaven]

1 year.

Theodore has been informed that it's been a year since he died, and went up to heaven for his soul is purer than the world he came from. It welcomed him with open arms, took him in a place where it was safer, nothing can hurt him anymore.

Oh, but heaven..

Heaven never had anything he wanted.

His parents.. his aunt and uncle..

Emma..

It's been a year that he dreamt of just one of them following him up here. A year of dwelling on a great loss, yet a new beginning for him.

He couldn't bear it. The pain. The suffering that came within. Still he waits. He doesn't care about who it is that follows him up in heaven, just.. just one of those people..

He avoided anything that reminded him of memories that will never fade until the end of time. And at this time of year, he didn't want to know what they were up to. He didn't want anyone to be miserable, especially the ones he cherished the most.

He just decided to stay here..

Let time pass..

He would have been 20 by now.

He wanted to think of something that would distract him, and that resulted to just watching the television. Watching the cherubs, life on earth, a cheesy rom-com, you name it. He almost chuckled at the holy christian parody of "Friends", which he found familiar from his mother and aunt.

Unbeknownst to him, he clicked on a button that transferred him to another channel.

His eyes widened, the setting.. the very stage of a club he knew all too well.. the place ge wanted to avoid.. lights flickered in the color of his eyes, and it seemed like something was quite familiar.

He never knew what it was for, until he saw a familiar figure of a woman walk up to the front, everyone standing in the crowd as she did so.

The lights flickered again, revealing her solemn expression.

Theodore noticed it. The all-too familiar red eye, her hair, her face.. everything in this woman resembled the one he loved most in this world.

He looked at her figure, looking deep into it.

She was shaking.

Oh, Emma..

The headlines of the livestream read: Fiancée of Late Theodore Hartfelt Offering a Tribute To His One-Year Death Anniversary.

Music started to play.

Theodore gasped at the word "fiancée". He never had the chance to propose to her. He saved up a ring, sure.. but he died before he got the chance to put it around her finger.

He looked at her as her right hand revealed a ring.

Theodore felt his heart sink into his stomach. It was the ring he saved up for her. The ring he put in an envelope.. the ring that when he bought it, he had already been practicing what he was going to say. The ring he promised himself he would give her after they graduated college.

Emma proclaimed herself as his fiancée.. his future wife..

His heart started to break even more when she sang.

Light glimmers in a flower

Like jewels in a dream

The sky breathes life, love to everything

At times I've thought "I'm not enough"

The chains that tied my heart

But there's still a path that lies ahead for you and I

Another headline called her, "Emilia Hartfelt."

He couldn't help but tremble when he heard her voice again, and she seemed to be holding back her tears.

Memories fade away

Clouds of yesterday

With no one to love

Is this life worth living?

Theo not only noticed her voice, her hands shaking.. but he also took notice of the words that came out of her lips.. now that he was gone, she doesn't see life having worth anymore.. atleast.. not that much worth as it used to have.

The camera pans to his mother, beside his father, aunt and uncle.

[Hell]

Come back to me, and stay by my side

I feel my heart shake

Come, ease this ache

I'm standing over here, reaching for you

A million miles away, come back and stay

"Emma.." Mal found herself muttering under her breath, seeing her daughter reminiscing about the love of her life, carrying an unmeasurable amount of pain in her heart. It was unbearable to see, but she needed it.

Aponi's breath shook, as she felt the words she sang resonating with her. Alastor held his wife close to him. They might have resolved issues now, but he felt like something had been missing.

Aponi felt warmth at his touch.

No matter how far the memories may be

When I close my eyes, you're all that I see

Come back to me

A million miles away, come back and stay

Emma knew that there was no way this will get to Theo, given that heaven is quite literally a million miles away, and she didn't even know he went up there in the first place. She didn't even know what she was doing, standing in front of a crowd singing her poor battered heart out. But she knew that letting go of the weight on her shoulders were the best thing for her, and probably Theodore.

He doesn't need her hung up on him after a year.

She's surpressed these emotions for satan-knows how long.

When she had stopped singing, she just looked down at the ground, barely facing anyone. She stood in long silence, so long almost everyone thought the whole thing was over.

She spent those times thinking about Theodore.. her Theodore.

She wanted to remember his eyes, the feeling of his arms around her, his voice, his lips.. telling her he loved her more than anything in all of hell.

A part of Mal wanted to approach the stage and take her out of there, for she thought it was too much for her.

But.. Emma had insisted she wanted to do this. For him. Aponi felt the same about the concern for Emma. She lost her true love, Aponi lost her everything, Mal and Vox lost a part of themselves. Alastor lost his legacy. When Theo went away, everyone lost.

And as much as they all wanted to bring him back, they couldn't.

After the long wait of silence, Emma finally sang..

La-la-la-la

La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

"Theo, no! Val is a dangerous overlord that not just anyone can mess with! If it'd been easy to beat him I'm sure he's already gone by then."

"Emma, I want to be able to do this. For my father."

"What about your mom? You can't take Val, you don't even have a rank!"

"I'm not wasting my chances of making my father proud. I can't throw away my shot."

La-la-la-la

La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

"Theo, please! I can't lose you.. I don't want to lose you. I won't let you do it!"

"Em, you won't lose me.. ever."

La-la-la-la

La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

"What if I do?"

"Then I won't be far away from you.. even if we're a million miles apart.. I'll love you until the end of hell."

"I don't want that. I just want you here.."

"Then I'll be here! I'll be back before you know I'm gone."

"Theo.."

La-la-la-la

La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

"Believe in me."

"..I believe in you, amor. More than anyone, or anything."

La-la-la-la

'Even if we're a million miles apart..'

Emma had stopped singing, her hand covering her mouth as she cried, finally. Mourning the loss of her beloved. Her most beloved.

"Emma.." her family in unison stated in concern. Emma never cried in front of anyone else, yet here she is in front of the crowd.

Mal looked around as voices begin to sing the tune of Emma's song. She gasped as she tapped Aponi's shoulder and clung onto Vox's arm.

Emma looked up from her misery upon hesring the crowd- Almost all of hell!!

La-la-la-la

La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

La-la-la-la

La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

The family found themselves joining in, as if calling out to theo, everyone's eyes glowing like headlights on a dark night.

La-la-la-la

La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

La-la-la-la

La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

At that moment, Emma understood now. Theodore wanted to protect whom he loved. He never had a death wish! He wanted to make his father proud.

He risked his life to defend their name. He was thinking clearly. He knew he never stood a chance against Val, but to die in such great honor was something to be proud of.

Hell never deserved someone like him. Never.

Right then and there, Emma decided she would be taking his name. In memory and love for him.

Emma felt herself smiling; a genuine smile she never had in a while.

To think that he no longer has to suffer the depths of hell, that he could no longer feel pain.. maybe it was for the best she starts letting go.

The music started to sound lively again, with her looking up at the sky and smiling.

Then she let something she never knew she had out. She spread her wings and flew as high as she could, feeling a not-so unfamiliar presence consume her again.

Love.

Sing, let your heart soar!

Sing forever!

Sad and so happy! Feelings flow over,

Now our world is full of all kinds of colors

Closing my eyes I can still see the stars

Shine in the sky, sing in their harmony

Flowers, they're blooming, oh it's beautiful

Emma flew all over the place, feeling finally free now that she'd decided to finally mourn theo's death, and not push away the feeling of overwhelming emotion.

Sure, she will still be missing him. She will still drop tears that are only for him, but she will be crying with a smile. With comfort that wherever he is, he is in a better place. No more pain. No more suffering. He won't be able to feel it all.

Sing! Sing! Sing!

Sing this song, I won't stop now

Sing it through, I love you

The voice carries on

Emma finished her song, tears brimming her eyes as she looks down at her family in tears as well.

...

.....

[Heaven]

...

"Emma.." Theodore's eye twitched, before he broke into a fit of tears.

"Emma..!" He sobbed, falling to his knees as he clutches his chest. He had wanted to embrace her so badly, tell her that he was there, truly watching over her like he promised.

"I miss you so much, amor.. so much.." his hand covered his mouth. "And mom.. dad.. aunt mal.. uncle Vox.."

They all missed him, and he missed them as well.

I'll wait for you up here, Froggie.. I will.. no matter how long it takes for you to come here..

..I will be here reaching for you as well,

A million miles away.

#theoemma #OOOOOOOOOO #theodore hartfelt #aponi wings #soundcloud version for full experience ig #SoundCloud

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scientifichubris · 5 years ago

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What are some of your favorite bands? Maybe a good 10 or 15 if you need a number, or maybe some song recommendations? I need some stuff to get into and my taste's been pretty flat for a while and I'm looking for some better stuff! Thank you!!

OKAY AWESOME- I will not rank them bc my brain doesn’t do that. I jump every like 15 mins on what my favorite is SO HERES A NICE LIST OF BANDS WITH SOME SONGS!!! Links as well to youtube/SC bc I love u and want to make it easier afdsgfd I’m listing bands that are “easier” to listen to ig because I don’t know your entire taste. I will, however, pull you into my side of screaming through conditioning and have listed a few to see if you’re chill with it. Bolded is the TLDR version with links if you need it and I speak way too much!

1. The Faint Endless, while currently only on soundcloud, they are coming to spotify soon!! My favorite song of theirs is Celestial Revenge, which happens to have a music video!! I also like We Were Once Invincible and Requiem but G*D I LOVE ALL OF THEM They are… such a fucking inspiration to me and the music I want to make in the future. I try to make everyone listen to them so tbh if you wanna know me listen to them they fuck

(The rest of these you can find on spotify btw)

2. I am going to assume if you follow me you listen to My Chemical Romance, BUT if you don’t here’s some song recs that have different feels they will give you: House of Wolves, Vampire Money, You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison, Demolition Lovers, and Boy Divison but this list could go on for hours…. There’s so much to list and I couldn’t stop…..It’s for you to find and for you to feel.

3. The Used is super high up on my list! Shame they’re not as popular on here like MCR, like y’all missed 2004 (me too I wasn’t even split then but shhhhhhhhhh i know my history). Really depends on the mood you’re in because they’re either bangers or Sucidical Moments tbh so fair warning. Really got into them when life was super shitty, but they have a lot that aren’t always imma kms. If you’re up for loud shit there is The Back of Your Mouth which I’ve been blasting for a week. Choke Me is good if you wanna hear someone scream “fuck my ass” over and over while you feel dead inside lmao. If you want something more themed for this blog there’s Wake The Dead, although I feel like the mid part ruins it tbh. I want to cover it so I can make it go hard the entire time. I’d recommend the full album Lies For The Liers to get started.

4. If you like Vocaloid and want it in English and like horror then check out GHOST, or Ghost and Pals on spotify. Some of my favorites are Those Who Carried On, Honey I’m Home, and Entomologists, but there’s so much more that is amazingly themed.

5. Red Vox is also really good, but I’d recommend staying away from their album Vomit in the Ballpit because it’s just gross-out humor and I’m not into that. For my oc Franklin I think his voice would sound like Vin’s. They’re releasing a new album soon which I’m excited for, and they released one song early which is Why Can’t This Be Easy. Other songs I really enjoy are: Kerosene (I recommend the album of that same name too def one I use to calm down some nights), Memories Lie, Hazy, and Stranded (if you’re down for a 9 min space themed/star trek downer). I really enjoy their music and it’s another inspiration to me even if the music is a lot more chill. Their music has really calmed me down some nights and I’m thankful.

6. Will Wood and the Tapeworms is good if you just wanna go “oh my god I’m so mentally ill. I am going to break something. Fuck, I can’t remember 2012” Maybe that’s just me though- Anyways, Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In! is a banger and good for this blog, and the mv is a mess so its perfect, and absolutely what my mind looks like. Also Dr. Sunshine Is Dead is for this blog. Actually the entire album. Honestly, just listen to the entire album Self-Ish. It’s not great if you’re feeling bad bc its gunna have you screamin’ “I WANT MY MURDER TO LOOK LIKE A SUICIDE” but it’s so good, dude. I’m obsessed. You gotta listen to it in order to get the full effect. Highly recommended if you’re okay enough to do it.

7. Mother Mother, aka mentally ill central, babie. They are an experience. Vauagely horny, drugged up and craving death or something worse? It’s all there! Calm Me Down is blatantly horny, but a jam and an experience, which I recommend the entire album it came off of as a starting place. The Cry Forum is really good, but I always forget the ending has a poem in german. Back To Life is amazing too and I really vibe with it.

8. Bayside is another really good band and amazing and cheaper fuck you Ticketmaster to see live. Some dick groped me in the pit and a punk punched the shit out of him and protected me the rest of the night and made sure my short ass could still see. The girl I went with got a drum stick handed to her. They’re amazing. Feeling shitty, ex-relationship problems and some Christian guilt mixed in! I highly recommend their latest album, Interrobang. Numb and Prayers are good on that. I feel like I have to recommend Sick Sick Sick and Devotion and Desiresince I’m pretty sure it’s their biggest songs.

9. The Vincent Black Shadow! I don’t even know how I found them tbh. Stupid Intruders is something I blast a lot. Metro is relatable, unfortunately. The House of Tasteful Men is very 👌 I die. They need more recognition…..

10. Halestorm! Female led metalish rock is very good. Very Vent-y songs for me, but very good and sexy. I Miss The Misery is very popular for good reason/ You Call Me A Bitch Like It’s A Bad Thing, Freak Like Me and Killing Ourselves To Live are definitely my favorites. Also a big inspo to me as someone with a feminine voice/presenting that wants to sing!

I’m kinda foggy right now so ten is my max! Hope you enjoy

#Anonymous #phonated articulations #long post

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taakotaakos-remade · 8 years ago

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THIS ALL HAPPENED BECAUSE I DIED ELECTION DAY IS NOVEMBER 8, 2016. TAYLOR SWIFTS BIRTHDAY IS 1989. can u guise please check in at least once? it would mean a lot to me. oka love u bye see u later no read this : election 2016....279 donald trump....two.... seven(-fully restore.).. nine is -nothing is stolen...verison 7... had been audited because they disregarded the means of full restoration... which then was raped by a nothing is stolen... and espensive.... 279....okay... we will have enough power.... nothing was stolen...our false gained competitors were shown in the light.... we are secure we have enough power now..okay forget it this is complete lottery this is the big one........this is flora 7-taylor illuminati(psychoc acid) mistranlated the first year...s....so... but eveerything paid back rite? according to white house..... guardina(psychos inteligence-satan) emergency room with starbuck nine-tw. second scenario.... hillary clinton... two the one-(cara!!!!! what the hell was that throw guitar a la paper towns)then raped by a 8....full compensation....in a shaky whisper full of emotion and love....forgiveness..............coffeworks... which everyone know anyways... its host.,...8.....who is hosting? taylor of course... oh its taylor no wonder she lost even as the host of everything.....it crazy elements of flora area and starbuck area all stores and cw area all stores including car mike cinema!!! was there!!!! also in the theme of a twenty sixteen (taylor women e nelson taylor yelyah)16. one is we dont expect anything from you. two is a we dont require anything from you. this is a two. springbrook: they messaged last week.,=she said' the car and him are too rich' for my blood so im sorry i dint know how much was enough.... now it is espensive... so its considered expensive... and all of you are expensive... they said 32 years 2048 anyways i was informed from outside 4 weeks ago.... oh he got rid of the nonsharing problem... which happened to be linked with stealing... interesing... i could not perciove sory... anyways everyone see the road springdale road! wth trees!... and springbrook is on route... so we know.. its not secret , if i quit now and vow never to cooperate with any party r will be in the cherry hill er (hanging out in starbuck, coffee work, cafe flora, near springdale road in cherry hill. until 2023. we will have air amenities at least past 2023. cara is a hardball negotiatior. if r does not pay until 2023. way/ia -yelyah maximum taylor maximum hayley maximum cara tove r maximum or entry level 12. 10. we are training then:') davy jones stepp on land for 10 years. every 10 years. if there is interference or it does not happen everyone pinpointed as cause will have bursts of air attack on them until their death. and likely it will continue 100 years after r dies. there are 400,000,000 affiliates and fremenimies and enimies of r and they have access to everything in the quad state infastructure as well as verison and it also includes verison. r must slowly unearth eveeryone she has encountered during the fame, from 2006-2013.... and compensate them paid in full by 2023. after 2023 r will start anew all over the same thing probably ' but a run for fun not run to their death gambit' and have extreme financing and trust the united stayes, the united nations(requires full compensation) and the secret service and the mafias are all on vacaytion, they are just participating, there is no cohesive goal or arrangement. we sample everything at different times such is taht and R-er or russia er(mostly) or part nelson er . also taylor and hayley er presence is notciced muchly. until 2023, aka code cera video games will run and plan until, tho it is not tightly integrated and accesibly storylined and linear to each micromananging variable, so many infinite variables and changes we will all experience together almost too fast for a trend also: the scorpion king imprinted me on my mommy via car a white midrange imprint.... and knocked out the ig part failedtest and burnt the sex extreme with biker to compensate her fully so i can continue the nfl ea olympics later when i am alive. many reasons and things done simultaneosly whoeva cut off nelsons leg tried to cut off audios legs in atlantic city.... then ran over multiple policemen and firemen.... and lastly ran over both audios feet.....trying to cut her legs off twice! many have surmised it was car mafia ll mafia italian or such they cut off nelsons leg cuz the weather was too late.... and it dint pan out. sometimes ultraluxury titanium armours health problems and accidents, but audio did not have the right or power over such things i am 20 times more sensitive than each individual to the effects. also get high from acid- trip intensely easily, everyone wants smaller dos to include the public and the women if u have not noticed on female celebrities, female teen celebrities, white gurls, white teen gurls, secret service, mi, illuminati, ig, united stays, steam powered, ri, blizzard, way ea, activision, infinity ward, telepathy, internet shopping, me/ia , way, tablets scrolls architecture power, li, blags, music, movies, tv shows, stores such as cw, tablet and phone gaming apps, starbuck, rite aid, linda mafia, nelson construction mafia, italian mafia, russian mafia, biker mafia, frog mafia, amazon optimus prime, mafia, female na latin global triangle mafia, ku klux klan mafia, i forgot a bunch from blacking out, please dont injure me from forget remind notify instead, mi mafia. illum dad mafia, which is global illuminati mafia, car mafia, hospital way mafia, grammy mafia, united stays ss mafia, i have 10 - 12 bone marks strikes to the front of the neck back of neck, top of head both feet united states salute, and such.... black triangle gurls 3 back of the ear, its bones.....ran over so i can get extremely meds during walking-hw..... ti, fast food, cvs, wawa, target, walgreens, shoprite, acme, bank of america, td bank, citizens bank, commerce bank. atms, cash, money, fort knox, walmart, bars, strip clubs, it, mall groups, origin.com, verison television, lte, social networks, 802.11ac wifi, nfc, nxp, aw, dragontouch, bluetooth, krell, parasound halo, bob carver, electrostatics, grado, magico s7 loudspeaker, streaming, xfinity, sprint, att, food delivery, tips, every bank, moorestown, fort dix, cherry hill, z, voorhees, x, haddon heights, deleware ave, cherry hill library, 7-11, marlton, maple shade, guitar center, best buy, cheesecake factories, friendly's, ott's chez elena wu, ritz seafood, car mike cinemas, c, atlantic city, ocean city, las vegas, milan, italy, sweden, switzerland, london england, austrailia, paris, france, promenade, florence, new york, philadelphia, old city, kingston, stadiums, tweeter center, washington dc, texas, nashville tennessee, barcelona, spain, puerto rico, russia, italy, india, ireland, antactica, ticketmaster, stubhub, south street, youtube, vevo, soundcloud, spotify, apple, iheartradio app, onyko hifi player, tplus, pandora, internet explorer, microsoft edge, female celebrity: tumblrs-twitters, myspace, snapchat, insta, facebooks, microsoft windows all versions, fast load times, autorepair, windows updates, netflix, tv chanel apps such as fox, or disney xd, starz hd llc...amazon music and video, mtv app, fierce females, victorious, android, ios, microsoft, msn, mediamonkey, playstation, xbox, nintendo, google, yahoo, aol.com, bing search, adobe flash, java, tumblr, twitter, myspace, instagram, facebook, snapchat female celeb verizon or internet facetime......----tw/verison/swift/taylor or part-time-awards show celebs-female, or hayley planning throught the day or week, its a fully compensate everyone for a one.... at the 5th reiteration of way or ia with tw......at the mafia 5.... so u may have to run en until a 5th glance.... at the fifth it compensates for everything klan and one.... whilst full compensation for blag and chink runs continuosly... this will go on for years....sometimes people dont know... even people near location... and they may try to create less glance.... even as the 5th compensation includes their compensation... i urge u to let them allow many looks or ni or esplaination for theirs and everyones sake'.... the amount of coma is determeined by the amount of friends i have.... i need to compensate many years.... before i am coherent.... friends, which it seems as everyone nowadays is.... imean female but tizzown u kno... turnpuke,,,,,, anywhere i was gpsed and or....corporate sponsorship.... during the legacy.....and each one i talked about..... at.... every store.,.... mall groups......bars.... strip clubs......burlington, somerdale, stratford, route 206 with all sos male cars flying against me, atlantic ciyt...... expect a full compensation then u may rescue me what is overhardened is fractured. what is fractured is remolded 13 call of duty ghosts: left and right speaker are switched. r and n is switched...grenade launcher and taticals are switched....i am putting out data and i am not recieving the data in my joourney. but i am the originator of such data the hair products technology in the town is developed for one reason… one person…. audio….. so she had to b the one to clean our mess…….. and expose source both mls and j seems to be the problem.... but i dont push the issue these first years... but they to vblame S R baby d, or baby c. baby c,d, are a’s the representatives for the eating or protectors or marriage of environment…. to nexus…. here is the theory…. the a’s are sexualy attached…. as instinct to protect….. not a random urge which may lead to casualty in such unstable times and mentalities….. the schematics, when normal is such, for a round four corners. G or g is a round top. a J would be a round bottom….. it is assumed…. the protectors of the region are J’s or j;s…. cuz audio is baby does not take things… u have to feed her btw…. she cannot feed herself… she has sexual anoroxia….. recieves…… gifts…. already to subconciosly powerful…. cannot have regal power too much……. but the reasons for these ideas are not for play…. they are for anti-terroristic measure…. to create guardinas. or protectors of each location….. local….-tizzown….. state—turnpuke——nj where i traverse…… and national… such as hayley tennessee or taylor texas katraina….. or AC atlantic city natural disaster international…. such as sweden or london, england ,,,,, each a is a sexified representative of each location…. to protect them/region from natural disaster….. the sex creates a need to protect….. to create connection…. and diplomacy…. and extreme subconscious love sacrifice and benefit…….. will never let anything kill her….. and thousands of people surrounding her…… i will do anything in my power to….. even get maimed…… to save her….. instead of inhumanely striking a individual from place to place and torturing from position to position….. torture creates hardening…. which makes things immobile and unresponsive over time…. in terms of striking from place to place……. which creates a terroristic monster…… during anyways time when everything is out of sorts….. the ideas multimillion dollar ideas are not to be mutated switched or played with….. they are carefully crafted by eye and united states gov…. to create balance and protection from weapons of mass destruction and or large scale acts of nature……we have to keep residence clear of other stimuli during…. which means lack of humen…… which mommy leaves a neutral footprint…. is nonsenstive… tank…. hardened……she absorbes Anything in proximity… and it goes in her thouts and influences…. so we should create limits of what influences everything…… isolation is not bad during….. with tumblr babysitter……..and it would be nice if she could choose what is in her presence instead of male or aggresive things invading a passive object that reflects them……..during this time…..we need to bring back…… town a’s local a’s and such…. as a precaution….. they have been missing….. public has been missing…. public ideas have been missing for two years……we must if we have j’s replace it for j’s with reason…… which are gurls…..and also we need to reduce the jew problem by half…….in house and in town if that is what u beleive…… if u look at mirror blog…. which reflects my thouts….. and what is the purpose of such large investment….. there should only be one blue i outside…. and one L in the garage….. both fit each other like a pattern….. there should be no other intrusions….. both the i and the l are separated in the house…. and when together…. they are nonsensitive. i am moon most of the time… even i give day rush hour morning to neighbors…… even though they are separated by house walls… lawns…. and many meters R - S - c or d (baby) please please please include tizzown and interstate again... for imaging and protection of the environment anyways things changed. there are 3 todaste R is for gurls in tizzown, female. women.... c and d R's tumblr twitter and fb is all young women R's fans are gurls S is men and boys i want pictures and e to be cute :) im also going to change my address to. nmd for now.... im working on this...... to make hapy :) tumblr, hey li will save me. the dead will save me..... if u listen and keep reading i will be oka. proximity and using devices that have the letters on. or one in it. i dont know if i talk about the lawnmower they will retailate shadowplay was on overdrive so it amplifies damage and pain by with superfuck heavy 10 to 40 times more tortura. my programs like tumblr google. computers shut down automaticaly and browsers and tumblr and video games wont open. or quit immediately...... i fixed shadowplay and paid my bills last month..... i hope to bee away any pull out the tumblr google windows updates cord.... its extremely sensitive. if i use tumblr 30 seconds more then it blocks me out of tumblr.... can u bee it away? it looks like shadowplay steering wheel. u know the story... did not subscribe... forgot two years.... right now.... shadowplay is shut down declawed and does not actualy inflict torture. but we cemented autoshut down from minute uses ..... anyways we have volume probkem.... so people were insubordinate from bad things. 2. impossible conditions jew lawyer on urself on purpose. no the law never actualy works that way. that is a cover. u misconstrued. im sory for ur misconstrution it has not worked on me. cuz i already know that cover so im not jewelry big suprise well sparkles at least actualy no thats to figure out u it has to be processed on ur base has to be pure specialy if u have a job and not playing around all day like us. theroretica MY CONNECTIONS AND CONTRACTS ARE BASED ON THIS. “ a duck must either destroy all the pretty and beawtiful prospects surrounding me. (I am very popular) or sabotage the system to make room artlivelove31  · 3h3 hours ago to have waters run deep between me and you would look more idea. if u are deeply wanted and needed. it reciporacates more mercy on each side a pretty or beawtiful or cute girl. is governemtn blue. a prospect actively wanted needed and loved. in slavery to have waters run deep w/u in slavery, would you like to be enslaved by something u love, or not? a duck is a unattractive prospect a ugly prospect a unwanted prospect - if u are asexual or a big hairy dick u are a duck if u are divine, if u are a goddess, a object of need and want and love. if I worship u….. u are not a duck I am extremely popular and beloved. im surrounded by goddesses of love and lust and beawty sexual attractive is define duck I AM 6/2 cut my teeth on celebrity wedding rings--- so. ima EXTREMELY SOCIALY SKILLED i have alot of friends. very popular. mostly white by chance. dont come here! its a trap! the in the air is torture! hc is all wearing sag masks and taking medication! for emergency. it numbs u and u cant decisions. dial for hair and air filters. please if u move here. AIR FILTERS IS A MUST. cvs sells prescription medication for such things. create levels that u wish for eveyrone in ch put their kids on sag mask medication so no one is going to risk killing their kid in one second. they have to make the decisions so parents less gas mask. — :/ UNDERAPPRECIATED3 that is y we did not abuse the power it will normalize they are exterminating all the bugs men and women!!!!! 2014 is extermination year!!!!! plz dont stap by the hizzouze or access the tumblr.!!!!! i suppose this is a persuasion vacation years? or year. i dont kno yet. the only editing i did on ja reflection is the delete button. thats all. sory assholes The problems caused by cooped-up-ness that's also SFA fault also. for agreeing to hide. away from everyone all the time Its too much. its too much $ for a household. but its early in development. okay. also IMPORTANT! WE ARE CLEANING ON PREMISES. WE REQUIRE LOTS OF TIME MEANING. HOPEFULLY WE WILL BE READY BEFORE DEC 1 MY BIRTHDAY IF CONDITIONS PERMIT. IM NOT SURE ABOUT HOW LONG THE CLEANING WILL BE FOR. AND there are some obstacles like money and such and also im all like wierded out and such and all those thingys and factors i improvise as best i can but im sometimes not that precise lately. anyways this is a run on and i want to say alot but i havent spoken and stap,. wait. okay. also ============================== last of all and most important. i love u all. please im asking and begging frankly plz be safe for me. and thank you for not ruining this for everyone. ====== cuz i spend so much time and effort being scared. ;) - imean wait no being concerned and watchful and caring for all of u. and the people the closer networks, spending lots of consideration and time caring watching and planning so that they are okay and all of u as a whole. r ok. and a small fraction of our time and my alone time actually scared. like scared for yalls wellbeing. seriosly. ============================== ok. to sum it up i love u b safe for me plz. i will be here for u in time. soon as i finish this cleaning. u can tell ur friends about the cleaning. u dont need to secret taht up. the cleaning part. code it tho. thats easier and safer. like my blog. which is code and acronyms. duh. so, therefore please stay away for a wiles for cleaning. im disorganized so bear with me. whats the point? scare? clean? thats not the point. that is a insulting cover clean does exit the haspital tho. which makes life much betta without too much bm but physical clean does not subtract retained power. or audio……… dissapoint does oka we got updated. which then, it almost killed me. speaking of killing. i died twice. the first looking down….. and i had a which tumblr gurls balanced my heaviness. but it was a matter of time…. a underage gurl stole my in spoon me…. i was blasting taylor swift parked in front…. windows open. on the passenger seat….. when i went in to use the bathroom and came out. the wire connect there was there, but not the …… after losing the …. everyone converged on me…. trying to get in my bed… or everyone just connected all at once… i could not defend…..thats when i looked down and my head struck the concrete…… u kno it sucks. in atlantic city 1 week later after the signal...... as i lay dying…. i said its oka…. im v…. i will be oka…. and i passed out…… i hear muttering….. yeah…. she dead….. but u kno…… rumour is her body is made entirely of george washington wata…….. taylor and posibly even taylors friends got realy mad at vhs and cw and spoon me…. and i died… so it was a big deal…. she block me from sharing with stbk and spoon me and cw… for two years! but its oka… every share was blistering harsh painful….. then closed spoon me… and then changed the name… there must of been a rumour saying people were bragging. the data was shared and sold….. at the time. they said…… with many gurls or alot of teenagers i think.i supose that was bragging. when the convergence happened…… the air was striking the house everywhere. it was like trash flying everywhere….. i did not could not remember… i could not think….. so i did the first thing i was trained to do…. i placed a warning on my phone….. via internet…. i believe i left emergency instructions….. and such….. and alerts….. then someone sent me telepahtic message…. some one is going to try to kill me…. and i should alert the auorities….. so i ran out of the house immediately….. went to pnc bank….. and the teller….. latina…. was replaced by a blonde terminator,,,, she was beawtiful….. there was not much in the bank…… i ran away. fast. looking in all directions…. following coded messages thruout the route to north jersey….. where i could place a emergency code….. in one of the turnpike desginated sate and natnal beacons……. it was a park…… i made it there and signaled. and anwyways everyone along the turnpike psychicly read me all along the way. we were communicating. and that gets sent to state and local and also and guardina and mafia. in atlantic city. my head hit the concrete…. no one told me to dump the car in the atlantic ocean….. but there was mafia decoys… and as i said i had a false escort….. undercover car…. false siren and all……meaning a paid car……. as a decoy….. which urged me and led me into instead a casino….. with a car bomb of satan……… which i thout taht joke was terible…. there was also a acura escort-same as mansion house… so u kno…. it was marked hi end mafia……. …. when i came back from my death….. i looked uppp. and died agains…… and once again taylor and taylor women and hayley got angry….. and many other groups……. miss taylor then u kno what she and cali and tw did? my head was on concrete slammed already. not healed. and they dragged me facefirst on 2000 miles of black street concrete…… and i exclaimed! i have A galaxy blackface! and i was conceptioned… down….. is i am become a blonde terminator…. i am… i have been heavily medicated…. for some time now…… these medications are mixed with things… and are state of the art…… they can put these in anything. even crack…. up…… is satan….. and guardina….. and the reason i could not share data with stbk and cw for years now…..networks and went left….. because we are evolving… and im heavily and we…. are all heavily medicated….. and gurls that live here. and hang out in stores outside…….. im sory i died twice…… and we are gifted…. everything is a gift….. i am not penalized…. i am creating eye. for everyone. every mistake….. everything intolerable….. is a extreme gift….. u are….. i am changing all of u…… and gurls…… u could not easily enter the hizzzouze…. i kno…. im not permadead….. they wanted u to have the gift…. but not have to risk infiltrating hizzouze. so they put it out everywhere. for u to eat and breathe outside. walking around…. living in it…. so they spread it all over outside where u can hang out and still eat the medication. its rough and uncomfortable…. sometimes…. the only time u are well gifted is if it is intolerable…. cw stbk tizzowns are become next gen….. i made few mistakes…. im sory for that….. but im going realy long…. im thankful for that……. everytime i hit the turnpike…. im weaponizing state and and secret and mob hitmen and guardina…… after i go….. they buy 20 dollars of gas…. and drive up and down the turnpike 24 hours straight. i make psychic. i make weaker terminators. i make guardina….. mommy is evolved too……. moreso on location if i share too much… they get mad. if i share too much tizzowns also got mad…. but the peopl did not know….. during compensation period….. everything is gift…..extreme gift……. this is klan…. tumblr…. u have to wait…. this is gifting sharing…….i am blonde terminator… and guardina… and thats y u were driven from house…. and i could not connect to cw and stbk and and others. we are making civilizations…. and gurls… u kno… all of u have a upgrade…… its not a secret…….…. oka. basic medication package esplained. medicatoin bids are done via. air, which bids take effect within seconds. medicatoin bids done via ingestion via beverages food inside and outside the house via ss switching takes effect 20 minutes to 1 hour. switching outside fast food. coffee… beverages in the house kitchen medicatoins bids done via inhalation. oka we covered that medication bids done via contact…. or absorbtion via land, water air, furniture, clothes, devices, female hand to hand or full body…. such is minutes seconds to hours within the bid medication bids done via injection take about 24 hours to take effect…. medicatoins bids done via circulation take seconds to minutes… and are sometimes extended release medication bids run throughout the day/….. and sometimes there are random chemistry scans via toliet pipes at home and in stores and analysis of landscape medication propelled via machine…. and walls and furniture of public places scanned…. to ensure a low level of mismedicatoin from enimies which they have the technology….. but use it sparingly because of privacy issues…. of the many medication bids coming in constantly its alot of friends. a lot of enimies ur intelligence is determined by the amount of friends u have. in terms of constuction nelson…. the medication dispersed and distributed to each female individual aggregates in the body of audio collectively…. in how she medicates many to get a large dose for her self…. in which constuction is legit…. and excels more than the police in that area,,,,,, the more people who are dosed…. the more intense the dose that audio recieves over time…. it is a large enough amount of people to regulate audio…. same as landscape…. whateva u put out there gets dumped on audio as a aggregate and the house….. and then the house then feeds the outside via machine. during operating machine the propel chemistry is scanned and documented in real time. and translated into music videos and media, via celebrity artists and underground artists. from 2013-2015 +90% percent of all the outside time was captured in music videos and song.... but operating system changes the data according to the trend each day and week at this time..... usually illuminati would listen to the ride the week following a long drive and internet is configured weel need a couple weeks to configure everyone in nj pa del ny people go but how they left always stays nicki minaj = 930…. thats max actoluy…. max is 990. max = iq 200…. 2 tablets. tw = 34… which is over….sats dosages are announced. disneyland tizzown (2) is 4. 120//// turnpuke is 1…. 30….. mermaids are 7. 210… tumblr is 10…300.. h=480(1 full tablet) t=660 r=8something 1 day ago based on closeness to audio “ so taylor face down head hitting the concrete….fuel on hands…. is reversible and wrath for sniffing pine sol…. when mommy made me frustrated… im soryy and hiting balls swift the emergency room im sorry and hitting head fist as n i have not figureed out this puzzle as of yet… from… anytwyas/// probably nelson’s revenge/…… as the entire world trend…..against me iphone was not espected at that degree also car fuel….. i showed hard drive to gas station attendant…. whilst computer cleaning with air….. therefore we acertained as celeb… we ascertained…. gasoline from exxon, shell, valero, citco and another…… all in different regions of new jersey we found out sag is a gift…. best kept in possesion for one year…. because unbearable…. as u know…. i was supposed to pick up litter…. and run car sag for 3 times…. 3 ones… or 3 years… i dunno… probably instead….3 28 months which is 28 56 84 months… and then run out of car fuel…. and then go to haspital 84th month for torturing so much…. its a lot of owe…. but first 12 months…. i rid of car gas…. lawnmower a little later…. some months later……therefore its i dont know…. i suppose it will taken care of weeel……. storage media hard drives were presented to multiple banks in the region…. so banks are a gift…. and car sag (gas stations) are a extreme gift…… and probably the main things about such is keys…. iphone 4c (hayley and taylor bm) fuel level…. probably… ku klux klan gifting is level 6….. probably car gas level at first…. was a quality of 10…….. dna of underage white gurl who stole my iphone 4c with hayley and taylor words and everything…. and dna of white gurl….. propelled 20 miles to the right and left of the turnpuke and 295 and ace and all the way up to new york…….and then bleached also cum of many of the females(not all) and myself…. and blackmail of every international mafia groups propeelled across 10 states of the east coast dispersed with tires…and metal bodies playstation and dna (controller not included…. so maybeh there was dna on the power button of the playstation….vs the underage dna…. convering the entire face of the iphone and the back…….( on and off button.) only….. hard drive dna…. with possible blag….. youtube celebrity female interview facetime telepathic…. and music videos netflix amazon and ea bm so playstation and all my video games…. and other games and a account created by myself named aptly blue wolf 747. which was erased because it dint happen……watch out the hard drive will kill you….. and a prophesy of satan the second 911 planes flying into a building..turnpuke.. our house as the world trade center…. the right corners…. tumblr satans double in the other clone car…. family driving the original car……driving a paramore honda….. and the honda clone being ‘audio is satan’ and then the prophesy thwarted by secret agents of allysa and cw….. underage white gurl group……because i was able to compensate A twenty… taylor women e nelson taylor is yelyah……as jack sparrow dying turnpuke diablo/ desert eagle cod/ claymore crysis/ and 5s……kept in proximity of myself during superfik heavy verison and cara for making superfik heavy car sag…. and banks and storage media and hard drives and computer desktop (gaming) air shown in full view for quick glance (eeeveryone……everything) and secret agent cleaning….. preliminary…. and labtop air (gaming) cum and all mafia and unites stays and illuminati info…… shown on turnpuke and distibuted via tires and cars…..and rain….. and chew and pjww for long period of time……. when everyone was watching for months…..even chew…. i never went back to clean……()….. not the first premtive day/../in the middle of it all// where it could not be cleaned from secret agents silently i will dwelve into stories later :’) ” – sora 2 days ago “ THIS IS NEW UPDATE as a result of the iphone death in front of eeeveryone, ch gurls/linden gurls, pjw and chew and strippers escorts massuses and all white and puerto rican white and such and EUROPEAN AND SUCH spain white and such and such women groups….and celeb females (included participated….we dont care it does not matter randomly :/)and tumblr gurls will have access to psychoc acid for 13 years….. it is one of the most generous rewards. everyone knos by now….. tumblr suffered the most,,,, and they get dosages most often… meaning they are always included….of course male illum artists and (few celeb role models that are men…. i like their templates)))))that are white are included because i like them of course at artists. which are integral to my art… i know… but thanks for your lack of salience in your telepathy it is random cowboy acid for the first 3 years…. but it does not go too far in sleepyness. most likely there is a combination of wake and such…. easiest way to solve basically as it evolves…. everyone will be pleased….. it is on auto callibration after the rough draft is configured…. eeeeveryone knows in klan or mafia…. in the begining its crazy too much and too concentrated to enjoy…. and after…. the supply gets realistic…. and after with configuration its optimal…. as any celeb or any gift…. which is from any of the mafias…..or usa or illuminati over time…. possibly extremely soon like in days or weeks. most people will not be sleepy at all. recomendations are always welcomed first three years is unlimited resource….. after that receptors will be somewhat workable and realistic it will take 10 additional years random…..but monitored at least moved from (it doesnt matter supply) from the first 3 years…. for a acid recharge it will be a random cowboy combination of short…. long…. medium…. short and intense…. lady gaga long and instantaneos…..lorde…. medium and middle….. hayley and taylor…….. gurls will have pretty much long….. and such…. nelsoning the guardina follows much later that the acid before nelsoning the guardina…. if that is even necessary after a decade….. nelsoning the guardina without the torture will be done in long distace drives…. up and down the turnpike…. same as before many suppose after the 5 th year mark. of 2013….. the drives will be possible without being bothersome compensation for blog will take up to 120 months after the year 2013 in a steady compensation. compensation also includes. because of the second 9/11…. it includes every location i have ever frequented ” – the iphone death was not taken in account as much as other things… and they realized most of sora went to audio….. most of gun also…. the only way to get or utilize sora the most…. is to actualy die… or blow up all ur receptors from the neck and brain down….. so there are many ways to make things unstealable every 10 years important groups totaly torture audio thinking about obedience sacrifice submittion and fear of the weather okay instructions… when u recieve your dosage….. u have a weeks supply in your body…. eeeveryttime you want to feel your dosage….. u say out loud or in your head….. you…. or yelyah owe you…… your body will release the dosage into the air and also in any cups or cigarettes or food or anything that is ingestible near you…. u will also inhale the medication in that location….. you are sitting or standing in…..usualy with rough draft doses…. you want to hold the you… or yelyah owe you for approximately 4 seconds…..ur dose is a weeks supply at a time… upon maximum dosage or maximum recomended dosage,,,,, that much alone… makes u sleepy…. so we add wake up to it…. also releasing the dosage into the air… is walking… running…for quick release… moving… and such….. coughing….singing…..speaking…… yelyah owes you/you… tumblr gurls told me in coded messages… you… is approximately 3 times the regular dosage for your own personal use…. i would do such…. but instead of 500 doses per week for every female i have ever seen spoken to or thout about…. instead… just 2-4 week supply to 20,000 females…. 1,000,000 doses for females aggregate collect in my body and are somwhat discernable for approximately a week at 1,000,000 doses simultaneosly hitting my recptors…. my receptors will be strengthened enough to be readable and scannable monitorable by the three year mark…so they are saying… by 2019….. some of my receptors will be functioning somewhat to be monitorabl;e and that way…. when u feel it…. more people at the same time…. it collects…. each females…. into my body…..so…. usualy 2,000 to 10,000 at the same time is sufficiont… please remember my receptors process feelings at approximately 400 times less efficient that everyones….. but my sensitibvity to side effects are 20 times more than everyone….. so basically i get tortured and react to things…. as if i was intoxicated… but cannot perceive or feel the emotion in the middle…. most of the time… i cannot register the emotion…. suppose alcohol…. i cannot smeel it…. i cannot feel it…. there is a empyty gap in the middle of the feeling…. and register at the top is 1/17 of normal peoples at the surface…. and there a 1- foot gap… and then in the deepest part… i can register it some……and i act drunk without knowing that i am… or feeling any of it… and then later i say…. why did i act like that.? without noticing that i acted even…. and then im daft…. noticing i am acting drunk whilst clean there is a divide between surface and deepest part of the feeling or water… and im incoherent alot …. unable to process or feel….so basically i am not in tune to my feelings or myself much…. it looks like iphone did that… but they said…. because they planned fuel…. because i smeeled pine sol…. therefore that had a surefire guarantee that i would recover fully from… because they did it to me…. but iphone…. they did not realize…. that it would be placed in my car long term by a white underage gurl i was only saing a lot of bm poo about…..and that i dint discover it the first year. from morning till night… i had instead spoon me gravity plus say too muc poo……and playing also…. i cannot smell… anything… most of the time… turnpuke air 1. 30. (everyone) starting a discernable telepathy. tizziown air 2. 4. 120 (everyone) mermaids 3. 7. 220..kittles bibbnnys puppies j. 3. 7. 220 (linden) bibbles kittles such turnpuke gurls. 4. kittles nibbles banmys 10. 300. mls 5 13 390 grammy potential intelligence 6 16 480 1 tablet-500. verison- 7 19 570 8 22 660 9 25 750 r 10 28 840 mnck head down on concrete sex cashout period 11 31 930 2 tablets. 1000 iq 200. max. sats anyways, right now the mud is not regulated. the tablets are neither regulated if there is mud.... do acid and air..any amount is okay. to yourself... your bones.....the acid will run the mud out.... and the air will autoclean u out.anything..... even buttons.... as you know.... things such as my memories my entire lifetime, celeb buttons, some united stays buttons, and myself... movie trailer,.,,, verison and secret service classified info... celebriti females... such as in small nano...if u touch. wash immedietely... it causes bumps and things.... any too classified data.... also sometime. i share 5000 buttons simultanoeos ly and it get uncomfortable.... my data transfer from body ok. oka(model computer) has a auto ip everything and verison television tracks and ips everything because of such….. in fact everything ip and tracks everything within the vincity of me,,,, which could have been the problem of female employee switching so frequently but verison is the most transparent and public of them. even with a decent filter….. and not so decent filter on the ip if u talk out loud…. verison and everything ip your vocal. it will be some mud…… and male and females can be switched out pretty fast…. but come back as town policy has evolved some recommend having 32 employees. and doing it different each time to not over cash out your 15 minutes of fame yelling is the most transparent most noisy and loudest and most visible to everyone. talking is the second most iping and such whispering is the 3rd most thinking is the smallest ripples thru the tv and hemisphere. if they use you. it will probably be translated on your end as rape. male or female and you may blame the fame for your quick exit to come back later. so im constantly raped from morning to night….. and i maintain espenses and will change and configure after nov 8//// so town should be sensitve to fame limits and such i have a fame limit…. unpurchasabel…. cuz my thouts just shut off after minutes expire…. and my suffereing will equal to my fame… or infamy cuz i not rock star…. im weather if thouts done autoshut or celly mintues….. then…. i prefer not to be a black male…… or seen as such….. so’ anyways…. that how it is… remember im heavier than a car….. my so is in the 900s or my you……but mostly its a fraction…. but even a thout…. everything we do goes on tv….///////hello we are all on tv///////. esplaining the rape and fireing note they also ip the voice…. and then your inner thouts and compare and contrast…. so its alot……. i opt after verison fully compensates…. gives me prized ip advice…. i will then dismantle the tracking either thru beeing or such…. and after the model computer tracking ip is off…. cuz so much overtorture…. then everyone…. not only verison will be more tolerable roger is the cause for most of the global weather cuz people got confused with local hair and global... so its global we are talking about and much much hair... and i also personally dont want to watch it turn to flat white and water only either 2016: god fights on the side of whomeva has the best ammunition. this year 2016 they made the guardina god or such or what also.. its celebration or something... and political duty. or political term. plus yelyah was drug thru the mud twice.... and hayley or me would have to compensate... either one would have a award winning blog... but hayley already won a grammy. so its me with the award blog love you wish me a excellent recovery. we kick gurls after they are compensated. they are 20,000 so im in coma. or something maybeh one version of the truth.... and so obviosly we dont linda the gurls. we pay all at once and then can kick or mansion which is so many gurls. i dunno. its still coma so it not good. anyways...i can do way or ia... intoxicated. or not... in coma or not.... we have found gurls.... its many... and its time.... and i plan to include you. therefore celebs did not linda rawr... so gurls and rawr can enjoy a little mansion... even if linda... it would be the same again. and then mommy would go without any rules... and veto everything.... so thats not good. so we need. i know. i was tortured. i need therapy. i need amnesia. i need healing. i need wealth and compensation.... so i went thru it i know how to take care of mommy so empire also... mommy went first... getting her cycle up first... i would follow later in terms of job in terms of body brain and nerve damage its obvious. the illuminati as long they are dead i will be dead infuse electricity in me. shock me back to life. either them with mission impossible pair they say alot of damage. but illuminati has the best rapid resurrection technology and secret serveice can reverse any meds. infrequently in terms of large infrustructural damage not to scare but just saying if u are damaged by anything guise in macro during my atlantic city death/ i had three guitars in cases. leaned up against the car.... the car appriximatiely 40 feet from many 50 gallon black and yellow cans placing construction nelson poison in the air for miles. i took them out.... car... was filled... with sewage from the week before.... a almost deadly sewage.....it looked like the cans killed the sewage in the car. the guitars first in the car sewage... then placed outside in the air. all the wood in the guitars were stained with the constuction poison from the black and yellow cans. it is rumoured that the cans or the meedication in such causes your body to radiate for years on end. there were three guitars i brought with me to my death the parker kermit taylor acousic oscars or the third reign prs rememba i did not clean the guitars. instead coated them with ck acid instead and a thick construction bass the guitars were treated. with acid... first sewage... then construction poison one of them causing the body to radiate for years. and then calvin klein acid and bass i used geneticly altered corn stalks to ease my poison after falling down the dirt hill into the desert... before my swim thrue the sewage the corn stalks are still in my guitar case. my guitars are espensive.... cept the ovation i bring to cw.... they are like a thousand. many believe its a blonde alexa and a atlantic city death template…and many friends….. so there might be a considerable amount of bleach to follow into tizzown and turnpike from 2013-20 something but i amended the guitars… cuz it was indeed hit with death sewage… and sewage from my body after the cans…. and then coated with acid//// and this is part davy jones….cuz the hayley and taylor and celeb women during the united states…. were embeeded in the keys…. in the wood… so its part that also…..then coated with sewage/ black and yellow alexa cans… proximity poison from everything bushes…..air…. sewage…dirt desert hill….. and then sealed drenched in acid and bass the guitar were then unused and placed in cases… facing backwards…. being raped. or killed from 2013-2016….face against the wall like dunces…. almost blown out by a california binge drinking which awards now have a construction style they said in addition to ,my other styles i just opened taylor today to see how she is… the corn stalks in her pocket… wilted a bit… but they are still there

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sinceileftyoublog · 4 years ago

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Kaelin Ellis Interview: Talking Music

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Producer Kaelin Ellis wasn’t a household name, but that changed in a flurry. People recognized the Orlando artist’s work with rappers like Waldo, producers like Sango, and on K-pop song “Jekyll” from supergroup Exo. But he mostly made his way behind the scenes. That was his plan when he had to start quarantining due to the COVID-19 pandemic, too. “I started creating a lot of beats,” he told me over the phone earlier this month. “I decided to start trusting my intuition more, the crazy ideas I have in my mind, to try them out to see if I could make something cool.” He made and uploaded a beat video of a track called “White Walls”, and the usual happened: His most faithful followers straight-up started tagging other rappers, suggesting they rap over Ellis’ beat. What happened next, Ellis talks like he still can’t believe happened.

“A lot of my followers will tag people--really high-caliber names--but not a lot of them will respond. A lot of people have been trying to get Smino, Masego, Danny Brown,” Ellis said. The first one to actually “take the bait?” None other than Lupe Fiasco. Ellis woke up from a nap to discover that Lupe had freestyled over “White Walls” after being tagged on a post by a follower. It went viral, Ellis direct messaged Lupe to suggest they work together, Lupe accepted, Ellis sent him beats, and Lupe sent back enough for an EP, with Virgil Abloh narrating it. HOUSE was released on July 24th. Wait, what? If it sounds like it happened quickly, that’s because it did, faster than anyone could have ever imagined. And it’s a great release that effectively combines Ellis’ deliberate, warped keyboard instrumentals with Lupe and Abloh’s thoughtful musings on pressing issues: mass extinction, the shady ethics of the modeling industry, and most notably, the Black Lives Matter movement. (“SHOES” is especially poignant, as it features Abloh talking about designing the running shoes Ahmaud Arbery was wearing when he was murdered; “running is freedom,” he states simply.) The track that started it all turned into “LF95″, with an added outro of credits from Lupe Fiasco, the preview of, according to Ellis, more to come between the two of them.

Read my conversation with Ellis below, edited for length and clarity, as he talks about the history of his relationship with Lupe’s output, the inspiration behind his beats, where he sees himself in the music world, and some exciting upcoming collaborations.

Since I Left You: When was the first time you were aware of Lupe’s music?

Kaelin Ellis: Because I grew up in a Christian household, I didn’t listen to a lot of hip hop or pop radio or rock music. So my first time hearing Lupe was NBA 2K7. He had a song called “Catch Me I’m Ballin’”. I played that game every day for years just because of the soundtrack. I loved the beats and the sound that was integrated in the video game that created a whole experience to it. Then NBA Live 07 came out, and that’s when I heard “Kick Push”. At that point, I was just hooked on Lupe’s music, so I grew up as a kid listening to him.

SILY: Have you followed his output pretty closely ever since?

KE: Oh yeah. I’ve been following him since 2007, everything from Food & Liquor to DROGAS Wave. I’ve kind of been keen, especially learning about music business in general, a lot of what I’ve learned has been from Lupe Fiasco. I’ve used his career as a model for my own career. Seeing his consistency and trying to integrate that with what I do.

SILY: Was he aware of you before he was tagged in the post?

KE: Not at all. I’ll say this: I’m typically that one dude that people have heard but don’t put the name with the music because a lot of my music is instrumental. I come from a Soundcloud wave of producers when it first became getting big. He had no idea who I was. He thought I was just one of those guys making beat videos on Twitter and that I had a following. People started saying, “That’s your face on Lupe Fiasco’s page!” A buddy of mine reached out to me; he called me after I woke up from a nap, like, “Dude, have you seen Lupe Fiasco’s page?” I was like, “Naw.” He was like, “Dude, get off the phone and check his IG.” So I checked his IG and his Twitter, and he had uploaded a freestyle over my beat video on both pages. I was like, “Wow.”

SILY: That was “LF95″. Was the outro on the EP version of the track added on only after you realized you would make this EP together?

KE: Yeah. That track went a little viral at the time. That’s when I hit him up and said, “Yo, Lupe, we should work!” He followed me on Instagram and DM’d me and said, “Send me a pack of beats! I’d be interested in knowing what you had in mind.” So I sent him a full pack of beats. I sent him beat videos. I’m always creating. He ended up keeping “LF95″ and adding that additional verse at the end of it. After two weeks, he was like, “Yeah, I have [enough for] a whole EP!” I was like, “What?!?” I listened to it, and he literally took my tracks, split them up in sections, and had a whole arrangement for every record. I’d never seen anybody take one of my tracks and curate something out of it.

SILY: Were you surprised to hear Virgil Abloh’s voice on two of them?

KE: Yeah! I remember for “HOMME MADE” and “SHOES”, he sent me the full record. He sent it to me and I downloaded it and said, “I got Virgil Abloh narrating the whole thing.” I was like, “What?!?” He sent me all the tracks roughly scoped out. As I’m hearing “HOMME MADE” for the first time, I started playing chords behind it. When I grew up, at church, as people were talking, there’d always be somebody playing piano underneath it. What you’re hearing on “HOMME MADE” is me literally listening to [Abloh’s] voice for the first time and playing under it. I sent that to Lupe, and he was like, “Yup. I’m keeping it. Don’t change anything.”

SILY: It definitely sounds like gospel keyboards.

KE: Yeah. That’s the approach. It’s called “talking music.” If someone’s ever talking, there’s always a piano underneath at church supporting what someone’s saying.

SILY: When you sent him that pack of beats, were those beats you had already made, or did you make new ones for him?

KE: There were a couple of brand new ones. One of those, which is “DINOSAURS”, I made that literally in L.A. I was supposed to be doing a show, and I remember I had the concept for this piano riff. I played it, added drums and everything else. “SLEDOM” and “SHOES” are the only two older tracks. I actually made those in 2017. I had a whole thing where I used to create a lot of tracks--I’d go to my homie’s crib, GFL Paul, his house was the studio where I’d create all these weird creations. I created a lot of tracks at his place. I went back to the old 2017-2018 archives, pulled those beats out, and sent them to Lupe. He cut up “SHOES” to a fifth of the arrangement.

SILY: Did you have any idea what his verses were gonna be about?

KE: Not at all. I just remember when I first sent it to him, everything had this supportive jazz storyline behind it. I had a talk with him, and he mentioned his collaborations with Robert Glasper, who kind of comes through the same background as me with church. I was pretty sure [Lupe] was gonna say something really deep over a lot of the records, but I had no idea what they would be. I was open to what he had in mind. When I first heard it, I was like, “I don’t need to touch this! This is perfect.” [laughs]

SILY: It’s such a cool story, and in a weird way, do you feel like it only could have happened with lockdown?

KE: I feel like it aided it. I was an opportunity because everybody is in their homes, and it makes you think a little bit about what’s going on. I’m sure he’s had thoughts about things that are going on, and he has a very poetic way of saying it. I know a lot of people who are connected in my circle that work with him. Lupe Fiasco worked with Robert Glasper on [Black Radio]. Robert Glasper also collaborated with my close friend Kaytranada. It’s a pretty similar circle of musicians and artistry. I think it was just a matter of time for everybody to know each other.

SILY: They might be classified under different genres: You think, “Robert Glasper: jazz, Lupe Fiasco: hip hop, Kaytranada: electronic beat music with collaborators.” Where do you see yourself within the genre circle?

KE: For me, I kind of base everything around my purpose. I’m always aiming to inspire people with the abilities I have. I’m really good at creating sounds. Sonically, I’ve always been into that. Kaytranada is the reason I started doing this. In high school, I watched videos of how he was making beats, back in 2010. He cultivated this thing where producers can be artists too and create a sound and do your own thing. Seeing him cultivate that for the past 10 years is something I’ve always been interested in doing. I don’t have the biggest voice. I’m not the most intelligent when it comes to words all the time. Seeing musically how he was able to create that lane for other guys that want to do the same thing is pretty enlightening. Me and him are the same category of producer/artist, but I’m more in terms of full creativity. It doesn’t matter what the genre is--I want to make sure what I create helps others, which in turn is what the HOUSE project I did with Lupe ties into.

SILY: What else have you been up to over the past few months? Are you making beat videos and music in general?

KE: Yes. Actually the most productive time I’ve had making music. With everything shut down, what I’d normally get compensated and paid for working shows, when quarantine started, it got me back to when I was young creating music just for the fun of it. After that “White Walls” video that Lupe rapped on, I made a whole project called MOMENTS that followed up after that. I dropped it on June 19th. When I put it out, I was super scared because of the fact that typically, when it comes to people putting out albums--I made a poem on Twitter that it said if it was too long to be an EP, but too short to be an album, what would you call it? Someone wrote, “Just call it a short.” All of the beat videos I’ve made since “White Walls” I’ve put into a project called MOMENTS. I’ve had a lot of growth. A lot of really big people have hit me up. I’ve been talking to and collaborating with a lot of big artists, solely due to the beat videos I’ve been putting out on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook consistently over the last several months. I’ve just been trying to put out a lot of content and get better at my craft every single day. Just try to be better.

SILY: Have you done any live streams?

KE: Outside of my IG Live, I’ve done one Twitch stream. I’m having some technical difficulties running it. I had to buy a brand new computer to be able to run Twitch and my computer programs at the same time. But I’ll be doing more Twitch streams in the future.

SILY: Something like performing the tracks from HOUSE with Lupe’s voice from elsewhere would prove to be pretty tough to pull off virtually, but are you performing the instrumentals from them?

KE: Oh yeah. Actually, I have this cool concept coming up where I’m gonna be recreating a couple of the records off the EP on my beat videos. Instead of it being the full instrumentation of the old beat I sent to Lupe, you’ll see me create “SLEDOM” or “DINOSAURS” from scratch on the next social media videos.

SILY: Who have you been working with lately?

KE: I’ve sent a couple beats off to Channel Tres. He’s a really cool dude. I’ve been sending him a lot of work as of late. Danny Brown, who I know is creating a lot of music and new projects. I don’t know what it entails. He recorded a couple tracks I made in 2017 with my homie GFL Paul at his studio. I sent him a really old beat I released a while back, one of the first tracks I worked on with another artist in Orlando. It’s called “Switch Lanes”; it’s a very grunge, hip hop-heavy record with a lot of experimentation. If Danny Brown liked that record, I’m not entirely sure where his approach would be, but he’s a really dope artist. I’d be excited to see where he goes with that.

Growing up, I was a huge Madlib, Flying Lotus, and J Dilla fan. When I first heard [Danny Brown] on Jay Stay Paid--I was heavy into that record because of his vocals over Jay Dilla’s beats. That was the last time I heard brand new, unheard Jay Dilla. Every time I go into it, it feels brand new. I’m excited to see what he does with what I sent him. Not sure what’s gonna happen, but I’m excited. [laughs]

Kaytranada as well, we’ve been shooting tracks back and forth to each other, especially during quarantine to stay inspired. Just trying to stay creatively locked in during this time.

I had a family member pass away recently. It was sort of out of the blue. My mind has been in a different place creatively. It’s hard with everything going on: COVID, presidential candidates, all of that type stuff can really wear on you.

SILY: Does making music offer you a refuge from trouble?

KE: Yeah. For me, I create music the way a songwriter would. A lot of songwriters are tapped into what’s going on in their mind or heart to be able to write great words. I do that with creating sounds and playing instruments. The same way you’d hear somebody on a guitar, I put that emotion and feeling behind it. Whatever things are transpiring, I try to put that in the art. Maybe someone will hear the track, and it will resonate. Because they’re instrumentals, I like to set up another person to say possibly what can not only be on someone else’s mind and my mind, but a bunch of other people in general. This record, HOUSE, does that. It’s really insane, man. I try to create music to zone out and express how I’m feeling through sound, and I hope whoever’s listening can feel that, too.

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mkpeacemaker · 8 years ago

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#THIS IS FOR JONNY #I SPENT 5 MINUTES COPYING THAT #LONG POST

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