#soul cat i grew up with died and like im going to kms 😭😭😭😭
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respectfully if somewhere else doesnt hire me im going to blow my brains out
#mumbles#i cannoottttt do it and im getting so anxious over the idea of Going To Work and i know id maybe feel a smidgen better if i asked for less#hours but ive never and literally i think im close to missing 10 days rn in the fucking 4 months ive worked there#and moms like 'oh you've gone through a lot since your last job im not that surprised with your performance slipping' but its still so 😭😭😭#like i used to be GOOD at my job but now i go to work (new place) and im nauseous and anxious and cry consistently and my hours suck and its#like i know this is real retail and im being a huge baby or i should just advocate for myself but its like i want 😭😭 consistency#and everywhere SMELLS it smells like gross rotten cheese in the dairy cooler it smells like garbage in the produce room it smells like mold#and like 😭😭😭 im being a huge baby i know i just 😭😭 cannot fucking do it and maybe if i wasnt in produce i wouldnt feel this way and it#wouldnt be that bad but like. idk what to do w myself. theres 0 consistency. when i worked the same shift constantly it was better because i#could fuck off for my lunch at a time that didnt feel horrible and i was the first to go so i didn't have to worry abt the floor or stepping#on ppls toes but like. im going to blow my brains out if somewhere else doesnt hire me. 😭😭#doesnt help that im 👌this close to maxing out my credit cards i cant go to school this year bevause of that i bought a dog because my fuckin#soul cat i grew up with died and like im going to kms 😭😭😭😭
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