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shaisuki · 9 months ago

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never let me go

PAIRING. HOSHINA SOSHIRO x CHUBBY! READER

CONTENT WARNINGS. angst + engineer! researcher! reader + orphan! reader + swordsmith! reader + brief flashbacks + slight spoilers + reader is obsessed with kaijus + childhood friends + insecurities + doubts + jealousy + breaking up + arranged marriage + eventual smut + fluff + talks of death + injuries+ blood + slight spoilers + body insecurities + lots of crying.

NOTES. a huge thanks to @ohikoti for helping me with this. giving me the pep talk to finish this one and for giving the time to watch the series after i express my desire to write for hoshina. more kaiju no. 8 content to come, since I desire to write for narumi and kafka.

SYNOPSIS. you made a few tough decisions in your life and one of them is to call off your engagement to soshiro even it breaks your heart and there's soshiro who won't accept the break up without proper explanation despite being away from each other. can unprecedented meetings still make a way to continue a once broken romance? was there even a romance in the first place?

gray clouds began to scatter around the area. covering the once shining bright sun and hoshina can hear the faint rumble of thunder from afar. a telltale sign that it's going to rain soon and soshiro frowns a bit. his lips in a thin line. he eyes the half eaten mont blanc in front of him. the steam rising from his cup of green tea and your favorite drink sits in front of him. it was supposedly to be a good day. considering it's his day off and yours and he's going to finally meet you once again but the weather won't allow it.

as if a weather would stop it. sunny or not as long he can spend time will you, it was fine. the vice captain of the third division sighs and then his senses is telling him that there is something bad going to happen. it settles in the pit of his gut and such warnings should not be ignored. he looks at the busy streets of tokyo. bystanders, students and salarymen walk in a normal pace. his brows furrow. is there a kaiju going to appear out of nowhere? did something bad happen to you and he hates himself for thinking of something like that. all of his worries melted when he sees you half-walking, half-running towards the cafe where he is. the dread slowly dissolves and was replaced by the same warmth he always feel when he's with you.

the bell chimes, a signal upon an arrival of a customer. he follows your every move and the way your eyes search for him in the cafe and he sees the gleam in your eyes filled with relief upon seeing him. a apologetic smile in your face when you slowly approach him in his table. sitting down, “thank you for waiting me, soshiro.” you said. smiling apologetically and hoshina's closed eyes cracked open a bit to show his crimson colored eyes.

your order arrived and was placed in front of you. the food look appetizing and was certainly a pleasant to eyes to see your favorite dessert. months cooped up in the laboratory doing research and projects for kaijus have you occupied all the time with a little to no time to yourself. you can't even savor the food you were eating and now that you're outside of the laboratory and feel the weather in your skin and the change of sceneries, it was nice for once although it hasn't been nice. how could it be when you look at the man in front of you being the happiest he can while you can't bring to say the words you wanted. the words you didn't want to say but is needed.

one thing hoshina have prided in is that he can almost read everyone like an open book and you are no exception to this. you have been so always easy to read and he was grateful for it that he was able to know and adore all your little quirks. starting from how your face lights up upon tasting upon the first bite of a food that is delicious. therefore creating a chain link reaction of you happy that will stay for the rest of the day and soshiro can look at you without getting tired.

it was a pure bliss to see you like that. a reminder that you are still the same person he loved many years ago and now. despite the circumstances that this relationship was just an arranged marriage.

today, with you sitting in front of him. he didn't need to read you. it was blatantly obvious that you were feeling under the weather or more than that. you've been mindlessly stirring your drink with the straw and the ice starting to melt. you didn't even took a bite of the food. lost in your thoughts that you didn't hear him call your name until he clears his throat. “are you okay, (y/n)?” and soshira regretted that he have to ask you that question cause he wasn't prepared to hear you say the next works when you broke out in your trance.

“i'm calling off the engagement.”

is what you said without hesitation. soshiro's smile slowly left in his lips and his closed eyes that was open since your arrival. his carmine red eyes glimmering with intensity and you swore you have seen them at the times where he's serious and deadly. you almost swallow nervously. knowing how intense soshiro can be at times.

“what's the reason for the sudden decision, (y/n)?” he asked you. bewildered at the sudden decision. you swallowed the lump in your throat before replying. “it's just i don't see any future in this union and it's not like we wanted it.” you say to him without blinking. forcing a smile and looking straight to his eyes to show that you are serious and hoped he won't catch you lying under your teeth.

vivid is the day you remember the matchmakers in the clan of his and yours decided that you and soshiro shall wed for the next years to come after soshiro joined the defense forces. it was a great match they say but to you it's nonsense. it will be bound of tradition and duty and you don't want soshiro to be tied to you.

you were an orphan. having lost your whole family from a kaiju attack and the head of the clan that have long ties with the hoshina clan came in the picture to save you. gave you shelter and a home for you to call. treated you as their daughter and with the hoshina clan came of a long history of slaying kaijus. samurais they are and they weren't if not without their swords and the clan who took you were the swordsmiths of the hoshina clan.

showing your gratitude to the people who took you, you learned to hold the hammer. holding mastery over steel and fire. crafting the sharpest of blades and later on was the career path you took at the neutralization bureau as the engineer of anti-kaiju weapons and a researcher.

if it wasn't for soshiro you wouldn't be at that kind of stuff. your friend since he found you watching him train with his bamboo sword in their backyard. your dear soshiro that you would later love.

it's for the best. you decided of it for a long time and you don't want to hurt yourself for being tied to soshiro. it pains you so much that despite the support you have given him, all the years others have invalidated him including his father. undermining his talents as a swordsman and that broke your heart to see soshiro being brought down by their ugly words.

then you received the news, soshiro got accepted at the third division. not as a troop member but the vice-captain of third division standing behind captain ashiro. the news brought you joy but there's a dull ache in your heart. soshiro's being recognized for his talent, that brought a smile to your face and he was able to show his talents. feats after feats of defeating kaijus. left and right victories. the people recognizing him as the vice-captain and his talents.

the television plays their latest victory. successfully annihilating another kaiju who decided to surface and wreck havoc at the city. there you hear the newscaster commentating that it was another accomplishment for the third division, lead by none the other captain ashiro and your vice-captain fiance. the news bringing a smile to your face that you were confused why the ink in your papers with the prototypes you have created were starting to bleed. surrounding the areas and the important details started to distort, only to realize that you were crying. the tears smudging the once clear print of your blueprints.

since when did you have become so emotional over such things? was it soshiro's achievements that you started to be like this? or is it realizing that you no longer served a purpose to be in soshiro's life aside from being his fiancee?

you didn't even realize the rift with your relationship with soshiro have gotten worst since he was transferred in the third division and your workload from extensive researches and planning of developing weapons. communication is no longer an easy feat to do. it was dragging. there were no calls in the night and even a simple text message is proven to be tasking. you understand that at this profession, sacrifices are made and that's what you and soshiro decided. what you decided.

the air felt heavy and soshiro feels like he needed a respirator to help him breath. soshiro have always know what to say but he remains silent. trying to find the right words to say. “you didn't see a future in us. is that right?” he began. soshiro's eyes began to search for any hidden truths in your face but he finds nothing. you nodded at his question. “this is sudden like i have said earlier. have you been feeling this way for a long time?” he asks you. there's a hint of pained sound in his voice and it kills you to hear him that. it was for the best you convinced yourself.

“i do.” you look at him straight in the eyes once again to see that you were dead serious about it. hoshina's gaze softens at you. “would it be selfish of me to say i wanted this relationship to work even it was an arranged one?” hoshina clenched his fist in a tight manner. “it's not, soshiro. i don't want us to waste time for a union and it's not the right time. we have our priorities.” his expression pained you and it wasn't like for him to be this vulnerable to you.

“priorities. was our priorities that different that you are willing to throw this away, (y/n)? i thought we decided that no matter where we are, we will work together. what happened to that?” his voice solemn. it took you the control to not cry in front of him. you both did talked about that but it was different.

soshiro have a purpose in his life now with captain ashiro and you're no longer needed in the picture. that's what you needed and it won't hurt no more. it would be difficult but you were tougher than what you're made of and what's a heartbreak if you can't survive it.

“it's for the best.” is what you said to yourself after leaving the cafe shortly after breaking it up with him. you don't know if you can still retain the passive expression if you stayed longer. you the gray clouds have turned into more of a darker shade and rain started pouring over the city along with your tears.

hoshina have never felt more empty. it was like you took all the colors in his life and left him as a blank canvass. the sweet taste of the caramel from his mont blanc starts to feel bitter in his tongue. the fox-eyed vice captain recalls the conversation he had with you earlier. you seem too eager to break the engagement. have he done something wrong to make you feel that way or was it a sudden change in your heart that you don't want him anymore? there's a thousand questions running in his mind and he can't answer even a single one of them and it wasn't for him to be like this. rain have started to pour outside and the temperature drops.

he can't accept that you were breaking up with him and whatever reason you have, he was going to find out even you just told him earlier. this isn't over.

the neutralization bureau never sleeps. engineers and scientist alike researches various ways to combat kaijus and using their deceased bodies as weapons. tonight, it wasn't going to be any different. you're going to work until you passed out. surprisingly you felt numb after the earlier dilemma. calm even, considering you've bawled your eyes out. pathetic for an adult like you who have called off an engagement.

before you can drown out in the large stack of blueprints needing revision from you. the intercom announced that you were needed at one of the top floors where the director of the department is located. sighing, you immediately made your way.

“have you enlisted in the defense forces?” you blinked a few times before you understand the question asked by the director of the bureau.

“u-ugh, yes sir.” you answer. finding the question rather odd cause you were a engineer and you don't see any relevance of why your director was asking you.

“how long were you in there?”

“a few months, sir. before i requested to transfer here.” he nods. you follow his movements and noticed that on his table is your file. “if i may ask sir, what's the relevance of these inquiries?”

the director hands you a document and you scanned it momentarily. it's from the jakfd. “the amount of officers enrolling have decreased significantly these past years and the amount of kaiju attacks have increased.” he began. “my point is you're a officer wasting your talents in these laboratories.”

“i appreciate it, sir but the reason why am i here is because my skills are best suited here than me being in the front lines and i'm not exactly soldier material, sir.” it always hurts when you say the truth and lying also. before being an engineer at the izumo tech, you were a officer having passed the written and physical exams. you have always known that you are going to be stuck as a sore thumb when you have joined the tanks. women in the defense forces were slim, petite, slender and any definition of being skinny in the dictionary whereas you were fat. it sticks out in everywhere and sometimes you were the center of backhanded compliments.

the defense force isn't just for you and besides you were happier here. “think about it for the meantime. the defense force needs you more than us.” the director dismisses you before you can say anything to oppose him and when just you're about to step outside of his office you heard him say it. “have some faith in yourself.”

the next week after that, you were transferred in the division one. as an officer/researcher. it won't be in vain in joining the defense force once again. you will be on the field with your expertise. you will use the missions as your research field and you were fine with the arrangement. except for captain narumi who didn't hold much about you. straight up calling you useless in the defense force not until you have beaten him on his own game. his field of expertise of course. that shut him up and he treated you as his equal since then.

“shinonome-san, where are you taking me?” you said helplessly as one of the platoon leaders, shinonome drags you from your workshop where you used to hole yourself up. “to the field. the third division is here and captain narumi is looking for you.” she explained coolly. you gulped when you hear the third division is going to be present at the fields. it means it's either captain ashiro or your ex-fiance will be there and you hoped that it will be the former and you were proven wrong as you hear bickering.

“hoshina! what the hell you think you're doing here!?” captain narumi's voice echoed. menacing it is and annoyed from the sound of it. you hear another voice. “oho, narumi. didn't see you there.” the vice-captain says in a mocking tone and that seems to spur captain narumi in his foul mood at the vice-captain of the third division. “of course you didn't, you fox-eyed bastard!” he retaliates and before hoshina can piss him more with some remark, his eyes cracks open upon seeing you being dragged by a platoon leader.

“captain, (y/n)'s here.” shinonome informs him and it looks like a switch have been flipped when narumi sees you. “here's the new recruit.” he mutters and it took a whole of control for hoshina to not punch the living daylights out of narumi from how close he was to you and what a surprise to see you here in a another division and he wishes you were in the third division so he can keep an eye for you.

it didn't help that narumi is openly flirting with you. his arm draped around your shoulder and the other is holding your hand to inspect it. “you're researching those kaijus again.” narumi comments. “it's my job and i've been doing research about them.” you mutter softly and soshiro melts at what he heard. always the one who obsessed upon those creatures and he find it endearing except for the closeness you're having with that lazy bastard.

a vein popped in soshiro's and it was close to bursting if narumi was doing it intentionally when he intertwined his hands to yours. eliciting a shocked reaction from you. finding the situation awkward and inappropriate you quickly pulled your hand from his and stuffing it in the pockets of your uniform. dismissing yourself you went away from them. clearly embarrassed. he closes his eyes and went back to face narumi and his rowdy members.

soshiro wanders through the halls of one of the compounds of the ariake base. he couldn't miss a night without training his skills and he was directed to a training room. he finds one of the library doors is open and it wasn't any different at the third division for someone to stay late at night. he just plans to walk by and he would be in the training room but to his surprise when he took a peek at the library, he sees you, sleeping. your laptop open and various of books are stacked in the table where you rest.

hoshina unzips his jacket to cover you. he can get it to you for later after he finished his training and maybe he can take you to your room or his if you remained asleep. just as he was to drape his jacket around you. you stirred in your sleep. slowly waking up and muttering something incoherent.

“soshiro?” you mumbled. raising your head from where it rested moments ago. yawning, you stretched your arms and you were now fully awake.

the vice-captain glances at your laptop and he noticed you were creating a new type of weapon, not just any weapon. a dual blade sword. similar to the one he uses. “oh.” you gasp. closing the laptop in a speed that it looks like you have been caught watching inappropriate. “i assume it's for me.” he started and you nodded in reply. “always have been when it comes to swords.” you confessed. gathering the papers you have been scribbling with notes. soshiro interrupted you. “we need to talk.”

“can we have it tomorrow?”

“no. you're avoiding me.”

“i'm not.”

“yes, you are and you're not being good at it.”

“soshiro, it's late.” you reason but it was possible to convince him. “you can go after we have this conversation.”

“what do you need to know?”

“why did you call off our engagement?”

you sigh, “i already told you about it, soshiro.” hoshina refuses to accept it. “it's not an explanation and suddenly you're here in the first division.”

“they wanted me back in the defense force even though i didn't wanted it but it's the only way.”

“the way of what?”

“can you stop asking me questions!?” you half screamed, whispered. irritated at his questions and it wasn't like for soshiro to be like this. “i won't stop until i know the reason why my fiancee suddenly departed her previous job and to find you here.”

“i'm not your fiancee anymore. i broke it off and it's none of your business.” you hissed. grabbing your laptop to get away from him but he stopped you from doing so. “answer me, (y/n).” he orders you. trapping your soft jaw in his hand and forcing you to look at his eyes. you hated yourself from how weak you turn to when met with his eyes.

“it's the only way i can be of use.” you began to sob. your tears trickling down your cheeks. “i was happy when you found your place at captain ashiro's side. i thought that it was fine but the moment you started there, the distant you have become. i understand it. i can't be selfish. i don't want to hinder you when you're there in the front lines looking so contented, fulfilled.”

it never felt so good to say the words you've been bottling away but the guilt that followed it was unbearable. you never sounded so selfish and greedy but it was the truth. “why you didn't tell me that you have been feeling this way for so long, (y/n)? i thought we promised that were going to be honest to each other.” his grip loosened. cupping your face in his hand. he didn't know you were feeling those ugly emotions. “i'm just me. your fiancé. your fiancé from a arranged marriage. not what you wanted and not what you needed. it's not my place to tell you things, soshiro.”

soshiro leans down. wiping the tears in your face. “in arranged marriages...” he began. “it serves a purpose. our duty to our families. honoring the tradition. and our union fulfills it all. the day they announced our engagement, i am happy it was you that i am engaged to. i know our union is arranged but please don't treat it as one that you would put your feelings aside for mine. you're more than my fiancee. you're everything that i could ever want and need. you're mine.” he says before kissing your forehead and soshiro thought that it's been so long since he had done this. “and i'm sorry that i hurt you. i won't forgive myself for that.”

“don't say that, soshiro.” you softly mutter. daring to meet his dark red eyes with your own. you see your reflection in his eyes. a being who have taken the form of insecurity. an ugly entity who pushed people for her own selfishness and soshiro can see you for what you really are.

he stays in the same position before you stopped him what he's currently doing to you. “it's late. i believe we have smoothed things over.” you say and hoshina allowed you to stand up. letting you continue what you were about to do earlier before you have talked about it.

the paper's thin and despite the countless of documents you've handled. your finger getting cut by the sharp edge of a paper is mostly likely to happen and it sure did. a sharp pain travels throughout your body, making you wince as blood surfaces up through the split skin.

the distress brought the younger hoshina sibling to your side. holding your hand and inspecting the wound in your finger. there's nothing serious about it except for the crimson color of your blood oozing at the pad of your finger. “it's nothing —”

a silent gasp slips past your lips. without warning soshiro grasps your finger before taking a lick. the sensation stinging if it wasn't for the comfort of soshiro's tongue lapping at your blood. it didn't help that you were in a compromised position with him. it offered no comfort of escape. the cold table with your belongings and soshiro have blocked your way.

it's a sight to burn in his memory at this very moment. watch your flustered expression and the way you tensed up from his ministration. your blood it tastes like iron. the same as his own with the aftertaste of rust. his canine-like tooth nibbles on the soft flesh of your finger while his tongue swirls around your digit.

whatever emotions you were having earlier didn't compare to this. hoshina's sultry gaze emitting from those eyes staring at you and observing every move you partake. you find it difficult to avoid his gaze. leaving you flustered and even in the dimness of the room, you can make every muscle of his straining in that black compression shirt of his. a heat of desire pooling in the pit of your stomach spreading throughout your body.

cold. your skin is cold against his warmer ones and he's surprised that you weren't even shivering in the coldness of the room. caressing the roundness of your cheek with his thumb. tracing the outline of your lips and feel the softness of it.

you were the image of what you are and this closeness will be the end of his. every fiber of his being screaming to just kiss you and that's what he did. letting instincts to take over. he didn't kiss you out of the blue. just brushed his lips to yours. the same he did many nights ago under the roof of his house away from the eyes of the others. the night where your engagement to his announced.

tender and slow when he pressed his own to yours. “soshiro, no.” you said when he broke the kiss and to only to do it again. you hold his wrist to stop him from going further but your actions betray you too. your lips following his and soshiro smirks at this but decided not to tease you. “we're nothing anymore. i broke up with you...” explaining the circumstances and it's not right to be this close to him. not when you two are no longer acquainted with each other. you both are merely colleagues. “i didn't agree with it though, we're still engaged unless you have feelings for a another man.” he murmurs to your lips. his eyes turning into more of a warning. showing such intensity and he maybe result in your murder if you find yourself falling for a man that is not him.

he kisses you again. starting in a slow manner and hoshina can hear the gasps and the silent whines leaving your lips. muffled in his own. his fingers find the plushness of your skin under your shirt. rubbing the skin with his fingers. the coarseness of his calloused hands are a welcome sensation to your skin. whereas it provided security and warmth spreading throughout your whole body.

there aren't any words to speak when both of your mouths are occupied on the feeling of each other.

“soshiro...” he hears you say his name and he smiles at you. showing his canines and he find the soft flesh of your buttocks. grabbing it to raise your upper body and therefore placing you in the table.

his ruby-colored eyes seems to burn more with color when looking at you. his strong, smart girl. always the one who sets aside her feelings for others. the woman of his. forging and engineering weapons for him. he likes to think that it's always for him. your hands gains the familiar thickness of callous but retains the softness he's familiar with. endearingly adorable. his (y/n). his (y/n) that he have from a arranged union. his (y/n) that he loves and hoshina wouldn't admit that he have the shortcomings when it comes to you and it's been grave since you have told him.

a tug on his shirt and hoshina hasn't been able to take his eyes off you for more than a second. your loose white shirt and the shorts you're wearing have been growing on him. desperate to take it off but he's not an animal to completely strip you off with the cold temperature dropping.

it's been so long since you both have been intimate and hoshina hasn't been doing so well after it. always thinking the reason of the separation and he's one to be blamed for it.

he pulls you closer. his hand on the small of your back until it descended in the waistband of your short to tug it and take it away. leaving you bare for him to see. he have pried your thighs open and slotted his body between them. his cock twitching inside of his pants and in desperate need of relief by your fat pussy.

soshiro groans. he already have discarded his pants and the tip of his cock rubs between the slit of your pussy. making your back arch and without warning, he swiftly enters the hole of your pussy with his cock. making you cry out and hug him. pulling him closer to you. “it won't be long, baby. i just need you to cum for me.” is what he said. planting his palm to the cold surface of the table. bucking his hips and beginning to thrust. starting as gentle and tender as he started to get impatient.

you're too good wrapped around him and it wasn't good that you're chanting his name. “more, soshiro. more...” your hips meeting his thrusts and even if you deny him that you two aren't no more, it's evident that your body misses him just like you do and he's also in the same position as you minus the denial. he won't let you go.

soshiro glance at the door still open and how fortunate for someone to walk on you both and see how good he's fucking you. still he dislike where he's making love to you. it should be on his private quarters but certain matters didn't apply for it.

you continue to call his name. trying to quiet down but it's hard to ignore how his cock rubs all over and hitting your sweet spots that it's already making your legs quake with need for release and the familiar know getting tighter in your abdomen. he seems to notice not cause he's now holding your plush waist to get deeper, faster.

he sees the way your eyes flutter and your lips parted. he wasted no time crashing his lips into yours. engulfing it with such need that it's bruising and his tongue is making territory inside your mouth. he just wanted to kiss you. he always liked kissing you and he wants it to continue until you're both cumming.

moaning in the kiss, soshiro knows you're not going to last and he is too. a low growl sound comes from his throat when he feels you have cummed around his cock and he buries his cock to the hilt before spilling his load inside you. making sure that there aren't a drop wasted and you have took them well like you always have.

he was still kissing you and you retuning the gesture until your highs have come down. he hears you hiss as he pulls his softening cock. after cleaning himself and you. he notices how your eyes are getting droopy. he must have tire you out in which he have no qualms for. he scoops you in his arms before bringing you to his personal quarters. he kisses your forehead and you hear him say something but you're too tired to know it and argue with him so you sleep on the arms of the man you feel safest the most.

when you wake up, you weren't in your bed. a heavy arm is flung into you. wrapped around your waist with a grip that have no intention of letting you go. then you notice a new weight on your finger. it's a ring. you gently turned around without waking him up and laid still. “no need for it, soshiro.” you softly mutter to his still sleeping figure.

however you appreciated the gesture. it was like he's telling you that he's not ever to going to let you go and that's enough for you.

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jjkamochoso · 10 months ago

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Imagine… Soshiro Hoshina Finding You on the Brink of Death

Angst, Hurt/No Comfort

Soshiro Hoshina x gn!reader

Warnings: mentions of injuries, ivs, death

Part two with fluff can be found here!

It looked to be the end of the line for you. Your Defense Force suit had long overheated, leaving you exhausted and vulnerable in your solo fight against the kaiju. The oversized monster saw how weak you were, becoming even more excited at the prospect of devouring yet another human. You kept shooting its snarling face in your desperation, round after round bouncing off its armored body since you wielded no extra power. The kaiju’s tail whipped around in a flash, hitting your slow moving body in the abdomen and making your gun fly from your grip. You were now splayed on the ground, unable to run and barely able to breathe. You didn’t want to give up but things were utterly hopeless. Your communications had been down the entire time of your 1 on 1 skirmish and your team had no idea where you were, you having been separated from them for far too long at that point. The kaiju strolled over to you, an aura of bloodlust surrounding it as it snatched you up in its jaw. You had no fight left in you—you just hoped your head would go first before all your bones were snapped.

“No more dinner for you tonight, you ugly shit.”

Was that… Soshiro? He came for you? You heard the faint unsheathing of swords as your eyes closed, ready to pass out. In its anger at being disrupted, the kaiju dropped you from its mouth and you tumbled onto the asphalt. The last thing you saw was a blur of violet hair and a whole lot of kaiju blood.

It was almost totally quiet when you came to again, save for the wheezing of your labored breaths. The sun was hanging high in the hazy sky and the weather was perfect--not too hot, not chilly at all. You wondered what Soshiro was up to. Was he still fighting the kaiju? You smiled at the thought. He was always so brave, the first one to jump into action. The relief you felt when he showed up to save you was insurmountable, though you probably weren't going to survive with your extensive injuries if you didn't see a doctor soon. What you wouldn't give to see his face again for the last time. No matter, the memories that you had together were more than enough for you. Maybe it was better this way. You couldn't imagine him setting eyes on your condition right now, you didn't want to burden him with your death. You prayed to whatever spiritual guide to let you pass before someone found your body; there was no way you'd let him lecture you about being more careful as you died.

"Vice Captain! They're still alive!"

You sighed as much as your broken body would allow. With Kafka around, your peaceful death plans would have to wait.

"Y/n, stay with us. Don't fall asleep, okay?"

His kind voice, though loud, was a welcome sound. Even still, your eyes were struggling to stay open as your head lolled around, but now your body was being maneuvered by someone whose touch had become a familiar comfort--

"Soshiro," you muttered, opening your eyes to find bright purple irises boring into your own. "Did you kill it?"

"Kill it? He obliterated that thing!" exclaimed Kafka, excitedly gesticulating. "He was all, swoosh with the swords and the honju was like, ahhh! Don't dice me up! But Vice Captain was like too bad, you should've thought of that before putting your hands on my y/n-"

"That's enough, Hibino."

"Yes, sir. I'll just, uh... stand over there."

Kafka ran off without another word, leaving you in the arms of the man you loved most.

"You’re my knight in shining kaiju armor," you choked out, trying to get a laugh from Soshiro, but he wasn't having any of it as he patched up your external injuries the best he could with his field first aid kit.

"I almost lost you, y/n. You almost died because I was too slow."

"Soshiro, that's not..." The blood you coughed up mixed with the blood on Soshiro's uniform.

"I know this might be selfish of me, but I can't let you die because I can't live without you. I don't want to live a life that doesn't have you in it. I would do anything for you." He placed a large bandage on a cut on your face, letting his fingertips rest there for longer than necessary before getting back to the task at hand. "I remember you said all those years ago you would do anything for me, too. Would you please hang in there and survive this? For me? For… us?”

He was right, you did say that. It was about a year after you both joined the Defense Force. You were both underdogs and no one seemed to believe in you and your abilities, except for each other. You had bonded over being underestimated and swore to each other that you’d never leave one another behind, in anything. He very obviously made good on that promise today.

You coughed up more blood and you could see the worry and pain in Soshiro’s gaze as he looked upon you, lying in his arms like a broken doll. He so gently wiped away the tears that were falling down your cheeks.

“It-everything hurts,” you whimpered.

“I know, I know it does. But we’re gonna get you the help you need, okay?”

You didn’t respond, causing Soshiro’s heart to plummet.

“Y/n. No, no, no, you gotta wake up. C’mon, this isn’t funny,” he pleaded, tapping your face, but getting no response.

“Shit! Hibino!” he yelled, trying his best to stay composed. “We need medic right now! Y/n won’t wake up!”

“Coming right now, Vice Captain!”

Sure enough, a doctor came rushing over, immediately placing down a stretcher. Soshiro loaded your unmoving body onto the hard plastic and he couldn’t help but think of how fragile you looked. Normally you were such a bright light in his life and a formidable ally not easily defeated, but right now, you looked one step from death’s door. He and Kafka dropped you off in an ambulance, ivs immediately being pumped into your veins. As those doors closed, Soshiro getting one last look of the love of his life, he prayed to whoever would listen that the door hadn’t closed on the opportunity to tell you how he truly felt.

PART TWO

#soshiro hoshina x reader #hoshina soshiro x reader #soshiro hoshina #Soshiro hoshina angst #kn8 x reader #kaiju no 8 x reader #kaiju no. 8

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ghostlynightpanda · 1 month ago

Note

Hi! Can I have a request for Soshiro Hoshina x fem! Reader? (angst with good ending?)

Where the reader has been pushing him away or strictly focusing her duties rather than confessing her feelings for him? They both are friends but the reader falls in love with him and starts to avoid these feelings for him. Because the reader was insecure and thinks Hoshina deserves someone better than reader.

Unspoken Truths

English is not my first language, so if you find mistakes, feel free to contact me!

Synopsis: Haunted by insecurities, you begin to distance yourself from Hoshina, convinced he deserves someone better—someone stronger, someone more worthy. But when Hoshina refuses to let you push him away, you're forced to confront the truth: that to him, there was never anyone better than you.

Warnings/content: Hoshina Soshiro x fem!reader, 2.642 words

You slam your blade against the training dummy, sweat dripping down your forehead as you force yourself to keep going. One more strike. One more perfect movement. If you can just keep pushing yourself harder, maybe you'll drown out the thoughts that have been tormenting you for weeks.

"Oi, you trying to kill that thing or what?"

The voice is unmistakable. Hoshina Soshiro.

Your grip tightens on your weapon, but you don't turn around. You don't have to. You already know the easy grin he's wearing, the casual way he holds his sword like it weighs nothing, the sharp eyes that never miss a thing.

"You're training too hard," he continues, stepping closer. "Even for you."

"I'm fine," you reply, too quickly, too stiffly.

His brows furrow. Just a little. Most people wouldn't catch it, but you've known Hoshina long enough to recognize when something unsettles him.

"Lately, you've been all work, no fun," he muses, resting his weapon against his shoulder. "What happened to my favorite sparring partner who actually talks back?"

The words should make you laugh. Should make you roll your eyes and throw some teasing remark his way, like you always used to.

But instead, your stomach twists. Because you can't do this anymore. Not when every second spent near him makes your chest ache. Not when you've started seeing him as more than just your friend, more than just the vice-captain who always has your back. And definitely not when your heart decided, against all reason, that it belongs to him.

So you do the only thing you can. You take a step back. "I have work to do," you say flatly, turning away. "I'll see you later, Hoshina."

You don't give him a chance to respond. You can't. Because if you stay a second longer, you're afraid he'll see the truth in your eyes.

And Hoshina Soshiro deserves better than that. Better than you.

You tell yourself that distance is the right choice. That if you just keep your head down, keep working, keep your focus on the mission, this unbearable ache in your chest will fade.

But it doesn't. If anything, it gets worse. No matter how much you try to ignore it, Hoshina is everywhere.

His voice carries across the training grounds, his laughter effortlessly cutting through the tension of your days. He calls your name too often, teases you too easily, looks at you too closely. Every time you lock eyes with him, something inside you cracks a little more.

You feel too much—too much admiration for the way he moves, too much warmth at how he trusts you in battle, too much longing for something you have no right to want.

It's suffocating.

And then come the insecurities. The whispering thoughts that creep in when you're alone, when exhaustion strips away your defenses.

He deserves someone better.

Someone who isn't constantly struggling to prove themselves. Someone stronger, brighter—someone who can match him step for step without hesitation. Maybe someone like Captain Ashiro.

The logical part of your brain reminds you that they're just friends—a captain and her vice-captain. But you're not just logical. You have insecurities, like anyone else. And those insecurities whisper, show you, convince you that Captain Ashiro would fit with him so much better than you ever could.

You've always been confident in your abilities, but this… this is different. This is a battlefield you don't know how to fight on. So you make a decision.

You push him away.

You train harder, volunteer for more missions, avoid lingering in the same space as him for too long. When he tries to get you to spar, you decline. When he jokes with you, you give him short, clipped answers. When he looks at you like he's trying to figure something out, you look away. It's the only way to protect yourself.

To protect him.

Because if he ever found out the truth—if he ever realized what you felt—he would never let it go. And you're not strong enough to handle that. Not when you already know how this ends.

With you, watching him from a distance.

And Hoshina Soshiro, falling for someone else. Someone better.

— — — — — — — — —

Hoshina isn't an idiot.

You know this better than anyone. He's sharp, always has been—on the battlefield, in training, even in casual conversation. It's why you should have known that avoiding him wouldn't work forever. At first, he lets it slide. He doesn't push when you brush off his teasing, doesn't press when you cut conversations short. But Hoshina Soshiro is nothing if not persistent.

And now, he's watching you.

You feel it every time you step onto the training grounds. Every time you sit across from him in meetings. Every time you pretend not to notice the way he lingers just a second too long after missions, as if waiting for you to say something—anything—that would tell him what's wrong.

But you don't.

And it frustrates him.

It shows in the way he tests you, upping the difficulty in sparring sessions, calling your name just to see if you'll flinch. It's in the little frowns he gives when you answer him with one-word replies, in the way his usual laid-back tone shifts—still teasing, still light, but with something underneath it. Something careful. Something searching.

But finally comes the breaking point.

It happens on a mission—an ambush, an unexpected wave of kaiju that leaves the entire unit scrambling. You hold your own, as always, but the enemy is relentless. A misstep, a delayed dodge—pain blooms sharp and hot along your side.

You barely register the injury before Hoshina is there, cutting through the chaos like he was made for it. His blades sing through the air, his movements precise, deadly. He's by your side in an instant, pressing a hand to your wound with a grip far gentler than you expect.

"Stay down," he orders, voice tight. "You're done for this fight."

You shake your head. "I can still—"

"I said, stay down."

You freeze. This isn't his usual easygoing drawl. This is anger. Not the reckless, fiery kind. No, this is something colder—controlled, deliberate. It simmers beneath his words, in the way his jaw clenches, in the sharp edge to his next breath.

When the battle is over, when the rest of the unit regroups, Hoshina doesn't leave your side. Even as medics check you over, even as you insist that you're fine, his arms stay crossed, his gaze dark and unreadable. And when you finally stand, when you try to slip away with the others, he stops you, gripping your wrist.

"We need to talk."

And for the first time in weeks, you don't think you can run from him. You knew this was coming.

Hoshina isn't the type to let things fester—especially not when it comes to someone he cares about. And yet, as you stand before him, away from the others, away from any excuse to escape, you feel like a trapped animal. The air between you is thick, heavy with something you don't want to name.

His grip on your wrist is loose now, but he doesn't let go. Not yet. Instead, he studies you, his sharp eyes scanning your face like he's trying to piece together a puzzle that shouldn't exist in the first place. "You gonna tell me what's going on," he starts, voice even, "or do I have to start guessing?"

You force a breath through your nose, willing yourself to stay composed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Hoshina huffs out a laugh—but there's no humor in it. "That's funny, 'cause last time I checked, we were friends. Y'know, the kind that actually talks to each other." His voice dips lower. "So why the hell have you been actin' like I'm some stranger you can't even look at?"

You swallow hard. "I've been busy."

"Bullshit."

The word lands heavier than it should. Maybe because Hoshina doesn't curse often—not like this, not at you. It shakes something in your chest, cracks through the carefully built walls you've spent weeks reinforcing.

But you can't let them fall. "I don't know what you want me to say," you mutter, staring at the ground. "Nothing's wrong."

"Then why do you keep pushing me away?" His voice is sharper now, the frustration finally surfacing. "Did I do something? Say something?"

"No," you say quickly, too quickly. "It's not you."

"Then what is it?"

You open your mouth, but nothing comes out. Because how do you say it? How do you tell him that it hurts to be near him? That every second spent at his side only makes it worse? How do you tell Hoshina Soshiro—the man who has always stood tall, always exuded confidence, always carried himself like he knows exactly who he is—that you don't feel worthy of standing beside him?

His fingers tighten around your wrist for a brief second before he exhales, letting his hand drop away. His voice, when he speaks again, is quieter. "Y'know," he says, "I ain't stupid. I can tell when someone's running from something."

You clench your jaw. "I'm not running."

"Then look at me."

You don't. Not until he steps closer, until he's right in front of you, close enough that you can't ignore the warmth radiating from him, the intensity in his gaze.

"Look at me, dammit," he repeats, softer this time.

And you do. Because you're weak when it comes to him. No matter how much you've tried to avoid it, this was always going to happen.

Your breath is shaky as you finally force the words out. "Because you deserve better than me, Hoshina."

Silence. A second stretches into eternity.

His brows knit together, confusion flickering across his face before something else takes over—something unreadable, something deep and unwavering. "…The hell did you just say?"

Your throat feels tight and your eyes are starting to burn. "You heard me."

Hoshina blinks, then lets out a disbelieving laugh—except it isn't really a laugh at all. More like a breath of frustration, edged with something that almost sounds like hurt. "Unbelievable," he mutters, rubbing a hand over his face before fixing you with a look so serious it makes your stomach twist. "You really think that, huh?"

You force yourself to nod. "I know that."

"Then you really don't know me at all." His voice is steady, but there's something else there—something that makes your heart clench.

And before you can say another word, Hoshina steps even closer, close enough that you can't ignore the weight of his next words.

"I don't want 'better.' I want you."

Your breath catches. And just like that, the walls you built start to crumble. You feel like the world has just stopped.

His words ring in your ears, over and over, unraveling every excuse, every reason you've clung to for why this could never happen.

"I don't want 'better.' I want you."

There's no hesitation in his voice, no doubt in his stance. Just Hoshina Soshiro, standing in front of you, looking at you like you're the only thing that matters.

You shake your head, stepping back out of instinct, out of fear. "You don't mean that."

Hoshina's brows knit together, frustration flickering across his face. "The hell I don't."

"You don't—" Your voice cracks, and you hate it, hate how vulnerable you feel under his gaze. "You don't get it, Hoshina. You're—" You pause, searching for the words, but they feel heavy on your tongue. "You're everything. And I'm just—"

"Just what?" His tone is softer now, but no less firm. "Go on. Say it."

You swallow hard. "I'm just me."

Silence.

Then, Hoshina exhales, slow and measured, as if he's choosing his next words carefully. "Y'know," he starts, voice lower now, "for someone so damn stubborn, you really don't see yourself clearly."

You don't say anything. You can't.

Hoshina tilts his head, his eyes never leaving yours. "Do you know why I trust you so much?"

Your hands clench into fists. "Because we're comrades."

"That's not it." He takes a step forward, closing the distance you tried to put between you. "I trust you because you've got my back. Always. I trust you because you fight like hell, because you don't hesitate when it matters, because you're one of the strongest people I know."

His words hit harder than any blade.

"You think I deserve someone 'better'?" His voice is barely above a whisper now, but it holds weight. "Then tell me—who's better than the person who's been by my side through everything?"

You open your mouth, but nothing comes out. Because he's looking at you like you hung the damn stars. Like every excuse you've made is nothing but noise. Like he's been waiting for you to just see what's been in front of you this whole time.

Your chest feels tight, your heart hammering against your ribs, and you hate that you're trembling, hate that you're so scared to believe him.

An then, Hoshina smiles. Soft. Sure. Unshakable. Finally, reaches for you. Slowly, like he's giving you the chance to pull away. But you don't. You can't. Not when his fingers brush against yours, not when the warmth of his touch grounds you in a way nothing else ever has.

"You don't gotta say anything right now," he murmurs. "But just… stop runnin', yeah?"

Your breath catches as you realise, this is real. This is Hoshina Soshiro choosing you. And for the first time, you wonder, if maybe, you're allowed to choose him too.

His fingers linger against yours, warm and steady, a silent reassurance that he's not going anywhere.

You take a shaky breath. "I don't… I don't know how to do this."

Hoshina chuckles, soft and easy. "Yeah? Well, lucky for you, I'm patient."

You shake your head, a small, disbelieving smile tugging at your lips. "You don't act like it."

"Hey, I waited for you to get your head out of your ass, didn't I?" His grin is teasing, but his eyes—they're serious."I've been waiting, y'know. For you to let me in."

You look down, where your fingers are still lightly touching, and finally—finally—you curl yours around his. Just a little. Just enough. "I was scared," you admit, voice barely above a whisper. "I thought you deserved someone… more."

Hoshina hums thoughtfully. "More what?"

"More everything. Stronger. Smarter. Someone who…" You hesitate, then sigh. "Someone who wouldn't be afraid to tell you how they feel."

His grip tightens, just a little. „That's funny," he murmurs. "'Cause the person I fell for? They're plenty strong. And smart. And stubborn as hell." He tilts his head, voice dropping into something softer. "And right now, they're telling me exactly how they feel."

Your heart stumbles. There's no more running. No more hiding behind excuses, no more pretending that your feelings aren't there, that they don't matter. Because Hoshina sees all of you. And he still wants you anyway.

You take a breath, steadying yourself. Then, finally—you look him in the eyes. "I like you," you confess, voice small but certain. "I've liked you for a long time."

"Yeah," Hoshina grins, voice warm, teasing, filled with something deeper. "I know."

You huff, rolling your eyes. "Of course you do."

His laughter is easy, genuine. And when he tugs you just a little closer, thumb brushing over the back of your hand, you don't pull away.

Because for the first time in a long time—you're not scared. You don't know what happens next.

But as Hoshina squeezes your hand, as he smiles at you like you're something worth holding onto, you realize, that taking a step forward doesn’t need to be scary.

Masterlist

#kaiju no. 8 #kaiju number 8 #hoshina soshiro angst #hoshina soshiro fluff #hoshina soshiro x reader #soshiro hoshina #vice captain hoshina

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mylove-iv · 3 months ago

Text

⠀𐔌 . ⋮ promised to me .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

ʚ imperial guard! hoshina soshiro x fem! reader ɞ

synopsis: you are presented to the Emperor of Japan in marriage to better your clan's standing and boost the Imperial family's backing. hoshina soshiro is your assigned escort, guarding you day and night yet turmoil brews in him as he comes to realize that his heart yearns for you, the bride-to-be of the Emperor.

genres: romance, a smidge of angst.

content warnings: unclear timeskips, mild descriptions of blood, mild depictions of abuse (not from soshiro), morally grey! soshiro ૮꒰ྀི⊃⸝ ⸝ ⸝⊂꒱ྀིა.

word count: 3.15k words.

author's note: ngl, this was supposed to be a more dark! soshiro fic but he turned out more grey haha ᡣ𐭩.

‎‧₊ ─ masterlist .ᐟ ༘

When the Emperor called Soshiro for an audience, he wasn't expecting his breath to be taken away.

But as Soshiro looks at you, he found it somehow hard to breathe when you entered his vision, bathed in swathes of the finest silk and rouge painting your lips oh so prettily like camellias blooming in the harsh winter.

And it was as if the words on his tongue suddenly dissolved when you had paid him a small yet sweet smile, your eyes ever so kind.

But it was your smile that seemed the most unforgettable to him.

He was hypnotized and completely enamored but he's startled from his thoughts when the Emperor then introduces you as Lady Fujiwara, his promised bride to help him solidify the Emperor’s seat and someone Soshiro is tasked with guarding.

Hoshina Soshiro, head of the Imperial Guard, knows that coveting something that does not belong to him would be a crime with the price of seppuku and his clan’s honor being tarnished. He knows better than to fall prey to his greed, he knows.

Yes. He thinks as he gazes at you. It would be treason.

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

Throughout the days that had passed, Soshiro, in his dedication to his Emperor and in his efforts to smother his greed, guarded you silently where ever you went.

But one sunny day in your private garden was he taken aback when you had offered him a seat at your quaint table, insisting he sit for tea.

He sighs through his nose before relenting and a small smile appears on your face as you pour him a cup of tea. “Here,” You pass him a book, to which he recognizes as Tachibana Akemi’s latest book of poetry.

“I mustn’t, my lady.” He gently holds it back to you, words firm and unyielding.

You don’t spare him another glance as you flip another page of the current book you’re reading. “I saw you eyeing it while I was reading it yesterday, Hoshina-san.” You murmur softly, a teasing lilt accompanying your words.

Soshiro’s eyes widen and as he’s about to apologize, you huff a small laugh. “Don’t apologize or I’ll be upset.” At your words does Soshiro zip his lips shut.

Your smile widens as your eyes twinkle forcing Soshiro swallows thickly, “You’re my personal escort, Hoshina-san, I think the distance between us is no longer needed, no?”

Your gaze is insistent until Soshiro relents, sighing silently before flipping to the first page and only then do you beam brightly, pushing your plate of strawberry daifuku in his direction as he thumbs the dried camellia flower you tucked between the pages to act as a bookmark.

And before he knows it, the silence between you completely dies down as you discuss the meanings of Tachibana’s poems, the ice between you breaking and is replaced with an air of comfort and ease.

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

A couple of weeks had passed since you arrived from Kyoto, settling in the Imperial Palace nicely as Soshiro strode ten steps behind you, his katana strapped to his waist securely as his vermillion eyes never strayed from your form.

But the harsh thuds of arrows hitting their wooden marks rouses him from his staring as he sees you gazing at the archers in the courtyard shooting, longing and nostalgia filling your eyes.

“My lady?” Soshiro hums thoughtfully, his maroon eyes gently tracing then soft curve of your nose before dipping lower to your plush lips.

You’re startled from your reverie before your apologetic eyes fly to meet his, a shy smile adorning your embarrassed face. “My apologies, Hoshina-san. Let’s resume our walk, shall we?”

Silently nodding at your command, Soshiro can’t help but think of the longing that had flooded your gaze when you looked at the archers earlier and before he knows it, the words are tumbling from his lips, “Do you practice the ways of the bow, my lady?”

Sunlight leaking through the shoji doors paint your face beautifully, so much so that it has Soshiro at a loss of words yet it is the bright smile tugging at your lips is what causes his heart to seize momentarily.

“I do. I did,” You trail off, eyes dimming visibly. “Before I was taken here to the capital-“

Soshiro catches your eyes widen at your mistaken and he quickly understands; you, the Emperor’s chosen bride, speaking of the marriage that was arranged against your will to the Emperor’s head guard.

He smiles gently before kneeling before you, his hand encasing yours as he places a soft kiss atop your knuckles, “At ease, my lady, for I will not let any harm come to you, even if it is from the Emperor.” Soshiro promises to you, honest eyes looking up into yours that it has you visibly relaxing.

You bend down slightly before your free hand gently cups Soshiro’s face, your thumb tracing his cheekbone causing his breath to stutter. “Thank you, Hoshina-san. I’ll be in your care.”

Against his better judgement, Soshiro allows himself this moment of respite before he leans into your palm, savoring your warmth.

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

Later that night, when the moon is high in the night sky, Soshiro gently rasps his knuckles against your shoji doors. His keen ears pick up on your faint yet sweet, “Come in.”

Allowing himself into your chambers, his vermillion eyes flit over to see your form seated on the engawa, overlooking the garden.

“My Lady,” Soshiro murmurs quietly, willing his heart to stop beating so quickly when you look up at him with a bright smile, your eyes crinkling softly in what he hopes is happiness.

“Hoshina-san, what brings you to my chambers this late?” You ask and when Soshiro brings the arrow and quiver of arrows in hand to your attention, he revels in how your eyes sparkle with excitement.

“For you.” He sends you a cheeky grin that has your cheeks flushing beneath the moonlight.

Smiling oh so sweetly that it has Soshiro’s heart floundering, he swears you’ll give him a heart attack when your hands linger on his briefly as you gently take the bow and quiver from his hands.

And he watches entranced from his seat on the engawa when you shoot consecutive shots hitting their marks, arrows all firmly embedding their heads into the bamboo fences meters away.

“You’ve a good eye and arm, my lady.” Soshiro hums and you turn to him, a cute, mischievous grin on your face that he finds absolutely endearing.

“My tou-san tells me I’m a better archer than my nii-san but hush, don’t tell him I said that.” You tease lightly as he chuckles.

As you settle yourself back on the engawa next to him, Soshiro can’t help but see the stray strands of hair loosened from your ponytail.

Impulsively, Soshiro leans over, his fingers tucking the offending strands behind your ear and his body freezes when you turn towards him, your noses brushing as he had misjudged the distance between you.

Your eyes seemed a bit dazed at the close proximity yet Soshiro can’t help but stay rooted in place, greed unfurling at how close you are.

“This is a sweet gesture I find absolutely endearing, Hoshina-san.” You murmur, smiling sweetly that it has him swallowing thickly.

Almost drunk off the sweet scent of camellias and spiced sugar you emanatw, the words slip between his lips before he knows it. “Soshiro.”

Your smile softens, eyes overflowing with warmth that it has his heart rate spiking. “Then, I’ll be Y/n to you, Soshiro.” His name on your tongue is honeyed and cloying, and his desire to hear his name tumble from your lips more often grows. “Thank you, Soshiro.”

Gently without allowing his eyes to leave yours, he grabs your hand before bringing it up to his lips, placing a sweet kiss to your knuckles.

“Anything for you.” Soshiro whispers reverently, his heart brimming solely of you.

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

Days thereafter does Soshiro see an unspoken softness between you both and he isn’t blind to how his heart treacherously leaps whenever a bright and happy smile lights up your face whenever you see him.

Between accompanying you outside on walks, sipping tea beneath the cherry blossoms with a book in your hands, and late night archery competitions between you both, Soshiro unknowingly falls for you amidst haikus, arrows, and fragrant camellias.

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

As he stands guard outside the shoji doors of your quarters, they push open before your attendants exit and only then does Soshiro peer into your quarters

His breath suddenly hitches as he sees you dressed in a deep, wine-red houmougi as pearls and golden laced flowers decorated your hair beautifully, your lips and cheeks tinted with rouge that it has Soshiro’s mind blanking.

Beautiful. He finds himself thinking as he holds out a hand for you to take but something feels unsettlingly off.

You settle your hand in his gracefully, your eyes not meeting his. “The Emperor requested my presence at dinner. I assume his duties to the state were fulfilled.” Your words are a quiet murmur, subdued in the way Soshiro knows that isn’t like you.

“Yes, the turf wars in the western regions have been repressed and settled.” Soshiro mutters lowly as he escorts you to the banquet hall, his hand never leaving yours.

“I see.” Your words are nothing but a noncommittal hum. And as you both arrive to the doors to the banquet hall, Soshiro is about to let go of your hand but his eyes widen as you squeeze them gently.

You’re still staring straight ahead at the doors and a beat of silence passes before your tired eyes are meeting his and Soshiro feels a twinge in his chest as he sees an undercurrent of fright in your eyes.

But before he’s able to inquire if you’re feeling okay, you abruptly let go of his hand as your features settle into a collected mien. You nod your head to the door attendant before entering.

Soshiro sees the way the Emperor’s face lights up at the sight of you but he misses how your eyes flare with disgust before dimming. He feels his heart ache and Soshiro is forcefully biting his tongue, the taste of iron startling him back to his senses.

Fool, she is not yours to covet. He chastises himself as the doors slam shut.

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

When the dinner came to a close, Soshiro was there offering his hand to escort you back to your quarters yet you walked ahead as an unsettling silence settled between you.

He stares at your back, a flurry of thoughts rushing through his mind as he ponders a way to break the silence as he wishes to hear your thoughts.

Your thoughts of the book you read earlier, the change in season, or the dinner you just had with the Emperor-

I could love you more than he ever could, if I allow myself.

Soshiro’s own traitorous thoughts shock himself as his mind becomes a frenzy of a storm, guilt and greed intertwining in a confusing dance and Soshiro loses himself to the storm in his mind.

But he’s pulled out of the tempest when you gingerly cup his face, his panicked eyes staring into your worried ones.

"Soshiro?" You call softly and his heart seizes.

A chill dances down Soshiro’s spine as the realization slams into him. He’s knows, he’s aware.

Catastrophically aware.

He rips himself from your touch and bids you a quiet farewell, missing the hurt visibly flashing in your eyes.

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

Soshiro has been avoiding you and he knows that you know. The air between you has stilled and gone stagnant. And like the coward he is, Soshiro doesn’t even try to mend the burnt bridge between you.

Instead, unknowingly, he adds more fuel to the fire as he orders guard shift changes, rotating with officers under his command to stand by and guard you.

And only when the moon is high in the night sky, does Soshiro stand in to be your guard, away from your kind eyes and unknown to you.

Despite the distance, he still reads the reports noting what you’d done for the day, an odd feeling of longing filling his chest all the while he is ignorant of the dangers you’d faced at the hands of the Emperor while the sun brightly shone.

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

Silently stalking to the guard stationed outside of your quarters, Soshiro motions for the guard shift and his officer in question nods mutely before bowing and walking away.

His wine-red eyes peer at the shoji doors that separate you both before he heaves a silent sigh. You fool. Soshiro thinks bitterly before straightening up.

But the loud crash of porcelain breaking quickly catches his attention and before he knows it, he’s drawing his katana as his other hand slams the shoji doors open.

Your startled and tear-laden eyes meet his panicked red ones and once his mind registers that there’s no immediate threat in the near vicinity and that tears are rolling down your cheeks, his heart begins to ache.

But a surge of rage begins to boil in him as his eyes narrow on the darkened bruise cuffing your wrist.

“What happened?” He mutters lowly, stalking closer and before you’re able to try to cover the offending bruise with the sleeve of your silken juban, he gently grasps your hand.

“Hoshina-san, it’s none of your concern.” You mutter weakly, face turning away from his as you attempt to weakly take your hand back from his grips.

His grip tighten only briefly before he’s grabbing your chin with his free hand, forcing your teary eyes to meet his.

"Who did this to you?" Soshiro murmurs softly, his thumb tracing the bruise.

Your eyes narrow and despite the tears glazing them, he can see how they flare with frustration. “Why do you care?” You snap harshly.

Soshiro’s red eyes flash darkly as he pulls your face close to his, your lips barely brushing. “Why do I care? Why do I care?” He laughs coldly.

“Are you a fool, Y/n?” Soshiro snarls and despite all his attempts to keep his voice level, the desperation in his tone is palpable—almost as if he was pleading. “I—“

“Finish that sentence, Soshiro, I dare you.” You scowl but Soshiro can’t bring himself to even do it.

“Which bastard hurt you?” His voice dips lower, edged dangerously with outrage as he chooses to ignore the previous conversation.

Hurt floods your eyes and he feels you weaken in his hold, your eyes fluttering to a close as tears freely roll down your cheeks. “The Emperor. He was the one to brandish that bruise on me.”

Soshiro stills, his breath catching as his blood runs cold before a heated implosion of rage swelters in him. “A fitting punishment for me attempting to put off the wedding.” You laugh weakly.

His angry eyes flit to yours yet none of the heated fury is not directed to you but that bastard he swore his allegiance to. “Why?”

You look up into his eyes deeply and Soshiro finds himself drowning in them. “Because I fell in love with you and I knew no end to desiring you.”

He swears his heart stops as he registers your words.

Inhaling shakily, you turn away and refuse to meet Soshiro’s eyes. “You have no idea how often I have wished to have you near me.” Your words a weak, broken murmur.

Soshiro can only stare at your face as you continue, “I thought of you softly from time to time. But I knew- I knew that you’d rather cut off your hand before you would ever reach for me.”

He feels dizzy from your words and before Soshiro is able to formulate a cognitive thought, a simple ‘no’ tumbles from his lips.

You shake your head, not allowing yourself the slightest bit of hope, “You swore your allegiance to the Emperor.”

Honor be damned.

Soshiro cups your face softly, forcing your eyes to meet his and his heart feels full. “It no longer matters.” He firmly murmurs, his intense carmine red eyes staring deeply into yours.

He sees your eyes gleam with hope but his heart drops to see them dim, “Regardless of me loving you, Soshiro, the wedding ceremony is tomorrow morning and if I do not marry the Emperor, I will be condemned to seppuku.”

“My loyalty lies with you.” Soshiro whispers softly, his words are a firm promise. “For you are the one I lo-.”

“Don’t, Soshiro.” You pull away from his embrace and his heart aches as you steel your gaze directed at him. “I am not so foolish to damn the man I love to death either.”

┊ ੈ✩‧₊*°࿐ྂ。

Morning had come sooner than you had wished and soon, your attendants swarmed your quarters as they prepared you for your wedding.

Amidst the commotion, you found yourself wishing to see Soshiro once more but you shake the thought off, chastising yourself that it would be his blood on your hands if the truth were to ever reach the Emperor’s ears.

Camellia scented oil was lathered on your skin, rouge dusting your lips and cheek as various golden hair ornaments adorned your hair and before you knew it, you stood in the Shinto Shrine awaiting your future husband.

The weight of the iro-uchikake you’re wearing seems heavier in your heart as the colorful kimono is embroidered with deep-red camellias, an ironic reminder of Soshiro’s bright, vermillion eyes.

But you’re torn from your musings when the doors open and you’re expecting noble men, clan heads, and the Emperor’s cohort to witness the ceremony but you’re confused to see what you recognize as Soshiro’s own battalion of guards flood the shrine chamber.

Their dark formal kimonos all bear the Hoshina clan crest and you spare the Shinto priest an alarmed look as Soshiro’s battalion of soldiers silently stand at guard, not one of the men uttering a single word of explanation.

Your eyes snap to the doors when you hear the Shinto priest gasp and all you see is Soshiro striding towards you with an air of calmness, his ruby eyes solely focused on you.

The men around you salute at the sight of their captain and as Soshiro stalks closer, you see splatters of red painted across his cheek. Yet none of that matters as your heart treacherously thunders at the sight of him so close, almost within reach.

“I am here to take my bride, she was promised to the Emperor.” He murmurs softly as meets you at the podium, kneeling before you as he reaches for your hand, to which he places a sweetened kiss on.

Soshiro smiles against your knuckles, his red eyes flooding with blatant love and devotion and it’s all directed at you.

“I am the Emperor now.”

#𝐢𝐯'𝐬 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠.°♡༉‧₊#kaiju no. 8: gallery of the vice-captain ༉‧₊˚✧#hoshina soshiro x reader #soshiro hoshina x reader #kaiju no. 8 x reader #kaiju no. 8 #kn8 #hoshina soshiro #hoshina soshiro x you #hoshina x reader #soshiro x reader #kaiju no. 8 fluff #kaiju no. 8 angst #kaiju no. 8 fic #hoshina soshiro fic #hoshina soshiro fluff #hoshina soshiro angst

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kaszuma · 10 months ago

Text

Aera Perennius | Hoshina Soshiro

Part 7 of “Certainly Yours”

pairing: Hoshina Soshiro x fem!reader

summary: soshiro was never one to raise his voice at anyone. But the one time he did, it was because he almost lost you for good.

warnings: Slight Kn8 Manga Spoilers, Description of Pain / Injuries / Hospitalizations, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Arguments, Cursing, Slight mention of self-harm

wc: 9,793

–

note: I finiahed it earlier than anticipated so here you go-- I had such a difficult time writing this because I've been so busy. There were so many changes and the original draft had been scrapped so many times that it almost made me want to give up and start over. But lucky I didn't or I would've not updated in time. So, yay!

English is hard haha and sometimes it hates me and just doesn't make sense when I read it in my mind versus when I read it outloud. Anyways I will be doing slower updates, so no definitive dates nor titles for the next parts yet. But Part 8 and 9 will be back-to-back spicy NSFW stuff (courtesy of reaching 200 Followers. Thank you lots by the way), So stay tuned!! This is not proofread. So if I missed any warnings feel free to tell me. 🫶

–

Sleep had come naturally to you.

The sound of rapid footsteps and muffled yelling had all but faded into the distance as mere whispers against your ears.

Such rapidness did not seem to fit the silence of what had initially surrounded you. The sudden weight of your own body being dragged left and right until your vision blurs. The stark darkness of city skylines transformed into the unnatural shine of the hospital's fluorescent lights; one that made it hard to pick people's silhouettes apart.

And as such, it reminds you of the distant past.

One that was filled with vast open fields, very unlike the corporate labs you had been accustomed with. A stark contrast to the very corners of Japan, in the countryside where your grandparents had established a simple life for themselves. Filled to the brim with rice crops and summer cicadas.

And it makes you reminisce about the short time you'd spend there. On the cool nights after your summer school days would inevitably end. And you'd be dragged to a summer house where cousins and relatives had doted on you.

Such a homeward bound place was a far cry to the bustling streets of Tokyo's Eastern divisions. Which had often been endowed with the familiar cries of loud music and the steady rumbles of heavy railways underneath you.

One that Kaiju had lamented no peace from.

Even in the midst of high-story buildings where your workplace had boasted the use of sound proof walls. The cityscapes nearest Izumo Tech Corporation could not even be muzzled by its titanium doors, of which Japan's Top Secret Bioweapons had been kept. Schematics and all.

You had grown used to such a taciturn work environment.

Your existence is thrown into the small bubble of your private lab. Segregated from your coworker who valued work over social relations. And you had been much the same.

You and the rest of the technicians were far too focused on your projects. Tinkering away at the prototype suits that the company had sent your way. A partnership between your parent company and Japan’s Defense Force. A task of which you and a few others had been selected to create and maintain.

And how lucky you had been, to land yourself a snug spot in the notoriety of the Third Division's wake. The very same division that had boasted the least amount of casualties in the case of a large-scale Kaiju attack.

The very same division where Mina Ashiro had led and mounted into victory.

And you'd consider yourself lucky to have known such an amazing person in this lifetime.

For fate to have led her to you, you'd assume you've somehow accumulated some sort of good karma in your past life. The reward to you had been fresh in this new one. An action that had garnered some godly being to bestow upon you a chance to meet your soulmate.

You'd be remiss with disappointment if you hadn't met Soshiro Hoshina in this lifetime.

But prior to that. Before Ashiro had recruited you into her division, you had little to no contact with the officers on-field. Delegated to the simple task of sending blueprints in and out of Tachikawa's base should the time arise; begrudgingly in the early mornings of every month too.

Back then, you had befriended a bespectacled girl named Okonogi. Who wore a slightly bigger uniform than the rest of the recruits. A quirk of hers which you found rather amusing. She, who wholeheartedly believed she might still grow into the uniform that was two sizes too bigger than what was recommended of her.

And you had remembered the day you had met her too.

It was another typical day in your routine. Delivering notes to Captain Ashiro in and out of bases. Though this time, you had decided upon taking a detour. Seeing the empty spaces of the mess hall which granted you an opportune moment of grabbing some coffee.

And such a detour had led you upon the bespectacled girl. Your documents slipping from your very fingertips. And your other hand, which held the coffee mind you. Accidentally toppling over. Spilling the liquid against her pristine ivory lab coat. Staining it.

Lucky it had not been hot, or else that could've been an accident in the making.

“I am… so sorry about that.” Your eye catches the glimpse of her nametag, stained with a bit of caffeine. Okonogi was what it read. And you were already pulling out a handkerchief from your pocket. Intent on correcting the mistake you made.

“No, it's okay. Really.”

The sincerity in her voice made you visibly flinch. And you had half a mind to just shove her your wallet, a chance given to compensate her for the coat you ruined. But the look on her eyes was determined. Abrupt in the way she had declined you.

“Are you sure? Money shouldn't be a problem. I can definitely get you a better coat within the day..” You spoke with much guilt. And yet she insisted.

“No need, really! It's just a stain. Nothing a bit of bleach can't handle.” She moves lower with a smile, one hand tucked behind her knees as she tries to pick up the few folders scattered on the ground.

“-Lucky it didn't hit the documents! Or the Director would definitely have our heads for it.” Okonogi had surprisingly jested your way. And a small laugh bubbles between the two of you in turn. As if you had known each other for quite some time now.

“I suppose so.” You had spoken between giggles. The sentiment shared between the two had all but eased the tension of the room.

And the brunette had gingerly handed you the pile of documents that had been untarnished. Though, one in particular catches her trained eye.

It was a simple list of materials used for the next batch of combat suits to-be-made. Or at least, that was the pitch you had planned to present today. In the hopes that Mina Ashiro would give it enough attention and send it to command for a much more direct approval.

And Okonogi, who was a newbie at the time. Had known all too well of the budding genius you had been. A technician far too enraptured in improving Combat Suits and weapons catering for strange combat. One that did not conform to the normalcy of firearms which had modernized the era.

And it seems one of your papers in particular had caught her attention. Like a hammer against glass.

It was a series of notes and drawings involving bronze wires that resembled the muscle groups of a Kaiju's inner workings. All built into the combat suit that had been Izumo Tech's symbolic masterpiece.

And its Kaiju plating was as amazing as it was unconventional. Built to last no doubt in the wake of an ever evolving organization.

Okonogi could not help but stare at it. Admiring the artistry and engineering involved in such a concept.

“An idea of yours?” She asks. And you nod in turn. Surprised by the way she did not immediately question the schematics.

Normally you'd be met with strange looks. One that questioned the very ethics of your research for involving Kaiju parts into the combat suits.

But the Defense Force had long since been converting strong Kaiju into weaponry. And applying the same sentiments to a combat suit, should be no different. “That's right.”

“I was hoping to improve the current designs of the Combat Suits.” You admitted. “If it succeeds, it might help our soldiers a lot more. Survivability wise..I mean.”

And Okonogi smiles at this. A layer of irony mixed in with the few laughs that bubbled within her chest.

She knew how fragile lives can be. Especially in their line of work where they had faced massive enemies almost on a daily basis. And a battle of attrition against such monsters? It was never a pretty picture.

But still, it had been a rare sight to see one so dedicated with quality of life improvements. And it was as if Okonogi knew that she'd be able to trust you with such a task.

“Glad to see you working on it! People have been volunteering less and less these days. But if we had better tech, I'm sure our members would increase by a large margin.”

Her assurance made you nod. Already taking the paper from her hands and delicately sliding it back to the rest of the folders you held. Carefully standing as the both of you had come to smile at each other.

“If there's a chance it can save lives. There's no harm in trying. It's just a part of the job.”

“There's definitely a truth in that.” Okonogi remained positive with a dip to her head. Making her rimmed glasses slide gently from the bridge of her nose. A tilt in her head as she next spoke.

“-But, why use bronze by the way? Wouldn't steel or alloy be a better alternative?”

You had looked over to the notes peeking from your file. And a smile is etched on the very corner of your lips. Complacent in the way you had so easily looked at her, as if you knew something she did not.

“There's a saying you see.”

Okonogi tilts her head upward. Who had finally moved to fixate her gaze to you. Eyes meeting with the absolute tenacity and confidence at your craft. “...a saying?”

You nod. “They say that some people should seek things that are more lasting than bronze.”

“Does bronze not last very long?”

“Oh it does. But even in metals, people try to find something much better right?” Okonogi who had paused to think about your words. Had only nodded in turn. Your sentiment was a much more refreshing and positive take than she had imagined it to be.

“I intend to find that material. One that would make a monument more lasting than the lives we lost.”

And Okonogi’s breath hitches. And you had looked her in the eye, with a determination she was sure would last you a lifetime. “Even if that means I have to dissect a Kaiju and use its very skin as armor.”

A bit morbid for her take. But still, she couldn't help but admire your tenacity. It was the same sentiment she'd see with the soldiers. And somehow, it reminds her of a certain someone who was all smiles despite wielding a blade.

“I suppose most Kaiju do have a layer of tough skin..” She jested. And your shoulders shake with a bubbling smile. The start of a silly friendship perhaps, where Soshiro's eyes would soon flicker your way.

And somehow things just started to click into place.

You didn't know if it was fate. Had it been Okonogi or Mina Ashiro that led you to him. But it wasn't until a few weeks later, you had found yourself responsible for the Third's technical division. Overseeing much of the repairs and weapon upgrades needed for Kaiju slaying. And it was in that very same division where you had grown much closer to him.

A strange recruit, scouted from the Kansai district. Where Captain Ashiro had particularly shown a keen interest in. His skill in the blade had been incomparable to his peers. And although he boasted the highest individual body-count when it came to handling melee pursuits. You had once thought him stupid for sticking to a fighting technique that had long since aged from the existence of firearms.

But how wrong you had been in judging him for that.

Okonogi often reminded you not to be too harsh on him whenever the two of you had just so happened to meet. Jesting that you two would've made a stellar couple, had you both given each other a chance. And although you've denied such things a few times before, Soshiro would always take a glance at you as if reading the expressions on your face. Thoroughly investigating the subtle expressions you wore that would've reached his conclusion.

And each time after that, he too would answer for you. A denial. A white lie.

And Okonogi always saw through it of course. She had been there since the beginning. Serving cupid for the both of you.

And when she can, she had always been peppy in her step. Pushing the both of you in a particular direction. Waiting for one of you to make a move. Calculated like masters playing chess on a board. By far you two had been hopeless. If it wasn’t for Okonogi’s encouragement, Soshiro wouldn’t have thought to visit you between breaks. And how lucky you had been to have the girl pry him out of his skittish shell.

It’s a wonder you two had gotten together like this.

You had rarely seen the girl frown or be frustrated over anything. Let alone your own bite when it comes to Soshiro's mixed signals.

So it had been a sudden whiplash, seeing her so frightened above you. Her voice had been unusually drawled and shaky as she repeated your name. Trying to keep you awake despite the far off look you had in the depths of your irises.

Wait.

Why was it so blurry all of a sudden?

Where were you again?

Right.

You were injured. And from the look on her face, it was probably worse than you had realized. The trickle of an unfamiliar liquid slid down your forehead to the very height of your cheek. Where you could’ve sworn a clawed hand had been there to comfort you.

Larger than your own, and definitely plated with armor. Gently grazing the very skin of your cheek.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

It's starting to hurt. The pain on your lower back had suddenly hit you like a metric ton of weighted bricks. Like something jagged and sharp had punctured through you. A result from a bad fall.

“Sweetheart. Keep yer’ eyes open alright?”

You heard a deep rumble from the side. And your eyes pried away from Okonogi's disturbed features. Suddenly enamored by the wine red irises that looked at you as if you had gone through hell and back.

Had it really been that bad?

Last you checked, you were narrowly able to escape Kaiju's attacks. The flashes of its flaky features had encompassed your mind’s eye. And the ground below you had bellowed like a monster’s mouth. Suddenly ripping open as a shockwave had violently lifted you from your feet.

And like a leaf on a windy day, you were blown to the side. Crashing harshly against the window of a boutique. A stray shard puncturing your lower back to the point of near paralysis. And it leaves you barely conscious to see the not so lucky victims that tried to escape the Kaiju.

One group in particular had been crushed by the rubble of a building. And somehow the scent of blood and bones was enough to knock you out cold. Their downfall would’ve made you vomit, had you not been injured and too dizzy to think about it all.

And as morbid as it sounded, you had been fortunate enough to have only been thrown aside. Sacked into a world of pain which had reminded you that you were very much alive. It had been a miracle that Soshiro found you when he did. Despite the slight sprain on his ankle and the sores he felt in the muscles of his arms. He forced himself to run. Empowered to meet with you, ushered by the help of Number 10’s powers.

And like clockwork he was led straight to you. The fears he had once buried deep in the back of his brain had all came flooding through.

And he didn’t know what to do.

…

You heard a few voices then.

Although it was barely comprehensible, you could make out a few distinct ones from the array of shouts. Your name in particular was whispered in a prayer. Begging you not to fall asleep despite the odd temptation to. And sure enough, the back and forth argument you heard between two figures was enough to keep your mind and heart racing with urgency. The look between Okonogi and Soshiro’s face had all been so different than usual that it frightens you so.

But despite the noise, despite the shouting. You heard him in clear daylight. Like it had been the only voice in the room. Isolated from the rest who had rushed in a frenzy.

“I got ya’ alright? I’m here baby. I’m right here.”

His reassurances had blanked when his voice cracked. Desperate like he had been ready to cry. The way your name had escaped his lips was almost hesitant. As if he didn't deserve to call you out. And you wanted to stop him before his thoughts could drift further. But your voice had failed you when you needed it most. A soft cry escaping your lips instead.

I'm okay.

I'm here.

I'm alive.

All of that died the moment it tried to leave your throat. And without those very words. Soshiro's face was left to contort. As if he were the one in pain instead of you. And how he'd wished that were the case.

“Let me through!”

You heard him scream. And your eyes had focused just enough to see Okonogi and a few nurses blocking his pathway to you. Desperately trying to push past them despite the grievances.

The sight had been a blur.

One second your vision was fine. The next you had felt the telltale signs of drowsiness hit you. And you feel the way the pain medication had started to kick in when your eyes had isolated itself from the world. Your body’s exhaustion hits you squarely on the chest down to your very toes. And when you had been dragged to the next room over. Soshiro had been the last face you had seen before separation. Sleep pulling you over until your breath is taken from you in that instance.

Your name had been the only thing Soshiro could say afterwards.

“I said let me through–That's an order from your Superior Officer, Okonogi.” Soshiro had warned her. Voice uncharacteristically deep when issuing an order. It was normally never used in this way. Such a tone was only ever used to command Number 10 when he had been too stubborn to listen.

But the bespectacled girl knew better than to fan the flame. And in retrospect, she out of anyone would understand his frustrations the most. Yet she stood her ground. Gently shaking her head at her heated friend.

“Vice Captain.” Okonogi started. Hands already raised to try and calm him down. And she could see it in his eyes; the way it subconsciously followed the rolling bed they had put you in.

Dragging your bed into another room where only the best medical practitioners had worked on you. And yet despite that, he couldn't find it in himself to sit still. His gut sinking at the mere thought of you getting worse than when he had already found you in. And he was willing to bet Weapons 10 had all but read the blatant emotions he displayed on his sleeve. With or without having to delve into his mind.

He was in utter ruin just from your condition.

“-Please understand. You cannot, in under any circumstances enter the surgery room, sir.”

“To hell with that!”

The scream had made Okonogi frown. And Soshiro had half a mind to push past the smaller woman. And rush forward with Number 10's help. But he stopped midway. Reminding himself that his suit could go on a rampage at any time. And right now, he did not want to expose Okonogi and a handful of civilians to Number 10's war-ridden desires. His deep baritones had instead vanished for more firm ones. Unlike the resentment from prior. Oddly curt in his delivery.

“Move. Or I’ll do somethin’ drastic.” He steps forward.

A threat is a threat, and he hoped that would at least be enough to convince the bespectacled girl to move. Yet Okonogi had known him for far too long to actually perceive it as one. And she looks unfazed by his words.

“Sir please.” She pleaded. “It'll only worry you more.”

Her voice was gentle. Understanding even. It almost reminded him of the way you speak at times. Stern but with a hint of softness when it came to his stubbornness. And how he wished it was you he was talking to right now.

“Just please try to calm down. We should get your own wounds treated first and then we can-”

“Fuck no. I'm going in there and-”

“Hoshina.” The stern voice of their Captain had made them both flinch. And the heavy cleats of Mina Ashiro'a footsteps had gotten louder as she had made her way closer to the two.

“Captain Ashiro.” Soshiro had spoken with a much more leveled tone than he did earlier. Hand raising into a salute as the rest followed suit. Though even in his greeting, his frustrations had still been made entirely clear. And he was more than willing to face insubordination just to get to you. But Mina was one step ahead of him.

“Hoshina. You’re causing a disturbance and deliberately disrupting the medical wing from doing their job--I'd let you run some laps. But I can see you're injured.”

Soshiro had glanced down at his body, a light scoff emerging from his lips when she had noticed the way he stood, limping.

“Patch your own wounds up and we can discuss it later.”

And Soshiro had frowned at the way she immediately knew. A sixth sense perhaps that he had been getting sloppy. And sometimes he feared Mina Ashiro would kick him out of the Third because of it. But Mina made no such accusation, instead her eyes had been understanding.

Firm as they usually are, she, like Okonogi, was quite aware of your relationship with Soshiro. And by all means, she understood his sentiment.

Today had been a jumbled mess. And Soshiro was practically facing the very brunt of it all.

With you as its victim.

“But-”

“That's an order, Vice Captain. Do not make me repeat myself.” Her stern reply had been met with his half-meant glare. Red irises swirling with thoughts before ultimately concluding that Mina had been right. Okonogi too. He'd just been too stubborn to see it.

And for a good few seconds, he finally drops his own staring.

Reluctant as he had finally turned around. Facing Okonogi with a sort of defeated look in his eyes. Uncharacteristic to her as he'd normally be so cheery, even in the face of impending death.

He'd be thrown into a pit. And as long as he was still kickin’ he'd probably end up smiling and joking about it the next day.

This had definitely been a first for the two to witness.

And although Mina had not usually been the closest to Soshiro. He couldn't help but make an exception this time. She'd waive him of running laps, not as an officer. But as her friend. And a stern hand was placed squarely on his shoulder. Gently giving it a pat of reassurance. One that Okonogi would follow up with her own.

“It'll be okay. Right Captain?” Okonogi glanced between the two.

“That's right. I'll see to it personally that she gets the best care. For now, get yourself patched up–That'll be the punishment you get for speaking to your superior officer.” She awkwardly spoke. Though a small reassuring smile had cracked on the face of her usually hardened expressions.

And such a sentiment from both the girls had silenced him before he could think of another protest to answer with.

“understood.” He begrudgingly spoke. His hand balling into tight fists at the possibility that you'd wake up without him by your side.

Bronze was made to last, yet it wasn't exempt from tarnish after all.

“Good. I'll inform you shortly once her treatment is done–Okonogi.”

“Yes?” Her reply had been immediate.

“Make sure his wounds are treated. And, I expect a detailed report on Number 10's latest excursion later.”

“Roger.” Okonogi had saluted. And Soshiro watched her as she slowly walked past them. Entering the very same room where he had not even had the chance to take a glimpse in.

His arms had gently felt the pull to another direction. Okonogi had done well at Mina's request as he had all but dragged his feet further away from the blaring red lights of the operating room.

And the flicker of your sleeping face was all that’s left before he too was separated somewhere else.

A place where he was left to wonder what will become of you. And for a moment, his distinct thought was a scenario where he hadn't met you.

If only he hadn't asked you out that day..things would've turned differently.

Right?

…

Your eyes blew wide open. The strangled breaths you took were caught on your throat as you could smell the bitter antiseptics nip the back of your nostrils. It reminded you of a hospital. That of which you had the unpleasant experience of having to frequent anytime Soshiro would come back to base injured.

Often you'd be on the other side of his bed. A frown on your face as the condition of his health had been on the top of your mind. And each time with a smile, he'd make a joke to ease the tension in the room. A signal to indicate he had been alright. Despite the lack of words you two would exchange.

Habitually it was you unharmed. You left to worry at his bedside.

So it had been a rare sight indeed, to find yourself on the opposite side of the spectrum.

Laid in thin hospital robes. Connected to a needle of an IV drip. The constant flow of medicine made you drowsy and your thoughts jumbled into a mesa of numbness. And if you had looked at the amount of bandages wrapped around your torso you'd surely start squirming in place.

But just when you were about to scrutinize the heavy onset of your heartrate’s monitor. The blaring sound was all but silenced when you heard the familiar tremors of his voice. Smooth and soft, like you had always heard them as.

“Yer’ finally awake.”

You turned to his direction. Bright eyes had met his own which had been as familiar as it was squinted. His irises were more crystalline and tired than usual. Puffy on the corners, like he hadn't been given a chance to get a good night’s sleep between your hospitalization.

And yet, despite the unfamiliarity of his somber tone; the despondent frowns he'd make.

His voice had been the sound you missed the most.

“Soshiro..” You croak out. Voice dry like someone had stuffed cotton down your throat. And you try your best to scoot closer. To move and stand like you had always done when faced towards him. But this greeting would cut short. Hands restrained by firm bandages and hollow tubes that weighed heavily on your skin. And you hadn't realized the mumble of a barely audible whimper from your mouth. One that Soshiro could not miss even if he tried to.

Soshiro noticed the way you had squirmed. Struggling to sit up. Which made him all the more vigilant. And he ends up closing the small leatherbound book he'd always brought with him. Sinking it back on his pocket where you had been accustomed to seeing it.

Walking much closer to you in an attempt to calm and shush you.

“Where are we?” You asked him. And his fingers hesitantly graze your cheek. The same way when you had blood trickling down it moments prior. “Base. The Medical wing took ya’ in.”

His words were oddly curt in delivery. And although the average person who knew Soshiro on a surface level could probably not tell. You were able to differentiate the distinct way his voice had sounded odd. Such sentiments laid rather clearly for you. And you can see the layer of guilt etched on his stiff face.

“Okonogi?” You inquired. And he gives you a nod.

“Safe. I'll call her for ya’ later so she doesn't worry.” and you let out a breathless sigh. Your head slumping against the cushion of the soft pillow. The lingering feeling of glass and cement on you had all been but a pipe dream now. A memory that you'd soon forget.

And how Soshiro wished it was that easy for him to forget.

“How are you feelin? I can call the nurse for ya if anything hurts.” He moves to turn around.

Eyes already searching for the small caller that was given to him in case of emergencies. Though your hand, as painful as it felt, had pulled him in. Weak fingertips grabbing the sleeves of his jacket to refuse him. Your eyes remained squinted as they were sharp despite the fatigue. And you caught the glimpse of bandages wrapped around his skin. A stark testament to the rest of his unblemished face.

“What happened?” You had immediately tried to get up. Alert in the way you had wanted to reach out and inspect his own injuries. But the fatigue of your body had stopped you. Causing you to slump forward and unto his willing arms who had been cautious in the way he handled you.

“Easy. You're still…not well.” Soshiro gently nudged you back down. Hand placed squarely on your chest to ease you into the pillow. But you stubbornly persisted. Compromising by sitting up against the bed's headboard instead.

“That doesn't matter. What's more important is, what happened to you. Are you alright?”

“That doesn't matter? Are you seriously askin’ me that right now?” For a moment you mistake his scoff for a laugh. His hands which had held you firmly had just as quickly left leaving the spot on your skin cold and yearning for his proximity.

Had you said something wrong? This aggression was unlike him.

Soshiro was rarely this agitated. And your voice couldn't help shrivel in meek irritation. Unsure whether you should respond back with much the same turbulence.

“Should I…not be asking you that?” You spoke unsure. And he shakes his head in turn.

“You were dead-still for five days straight and yer tellin’ me THAT doesn't matter right now?”

You didn't know how else to reply. The way his tone had shifted into a scoff had made you double back to glare at his face. For once since you awoke, you truly saw how tense he had been. Gone was his usual suave smile that made you laugh or cry in between meetings.

He had been too worried to focus on that. But you had been too frustrated at this sudden change. That it made your voice come more forcefully than you anticipated. “Well isn't it obvious? I'm worried about you.”

You replied. Your own expression had squished into rapid vexation. And you see the way he takes a few steps back, too far for your touch to reach. And it pained you that you couldn't just stand up and make him face you like you usually could.

“And you think I don't feel the same!?” He spoke loudly. Causing your shoulders to flinch in turn. One he had regretted as soon as he spoke. And yet, he continued.

“You don't think..that I didn't nearly kill myself when I found you bleeding in the middle of that goddamn street?” He pointed out the window.

And your expression had turned liquid at the images that flash in your mind. Imagining how he had found you. His thoughts, his expressions..you could only imagine the torment he felt the moment he found you. Barely breathing.

His breaths came in gasps. Eyes widened so that you can clearly see the crimson of his eyes peeking through. And suddenly you notice the way Soshiro had oddly been so vulnerable in front of you. The quips on your sore throat began to die down when you saw how frustrated–how fearful he had looked in the moment. And gods did you wish you woke up sooner just to comfort him.

“No–that’s not what I meant. I only wanted to know if you were okay. Is it so wrong to ask?”

“Well maybe ya’ shouldn't have asked at all.” He huffed out. Looking away from you with regret lingering on his features.

It was stupid. He thought To get so frustrated over something so tiny. But as much as Soshiro Hoshina excluded the guise of a proper adult. He had been flawed just like the rest of everyone else. And he'd be lying if he didn't have his moments of doubt. Often scrutinizing in the lonely privacy of his home. Where he knew no one would bother him.

That is of course, before you had entered his life.

But not everything was understood between the two of you. Okonogi was a witness to the piles of misunderstandings you both had caused. And without help you two were likely never to get along, habitually falling for the same skittish routine you had played at.

But a miracle happened. With him belonging to you. And you belonging to him.

So why was it that your heart cramped so much? Surely it was not the pains of a physical injury. Let alone a type of sickness.

Instead it was struck by simple bad habits and insecurities. One of which even you had trouble dealing with. And the loud firmness of his voice had made such an impact on your heart that you began to frown. Unable to hold back your bite.

“What is your problem!?” You started. “Listen, can we just please have this conversation some other time. And then we can-”

“And then we can, what? Do you want me to just sit here and forget that all happened?” He had interjected.

And suddenly you feel your brows knit tightly. Eyes feeling heavy from the burst of a headache you had gotten. Of all the times Soshiro wanted to argue, it's the time you had just woken up.

But he wasn't entirely unjustified.

There have been plenty of moments where you had fanned the flames of a fire that should've ended right then and there. Your word choice is poor and your temperament less than ideal.

For as frustrated as you had been, you understood Soshiro's sentiments. And your hands had raised as a sort of white flag. Not needing this fight to escalate more than it should.

Not when you were both injured and all you wanted to do was crawl into his arms.

“-Listen Soshiro, I didn't mean to upset you. I only wanted to know if you were okay.”

“Does that matter?” He repeats your own words. And you had to hold back another jab of acknowledgement. Smart in the way he played his words. It almost made you want to laugh. But this time, your intent came from sincerity.

And his small play of mockery had been a sight for sore eyes, since you had quickly gotten the gist of what he had been trying to convey. Wrong in your choice of words. This time, you correct your mistake. Sincerity and all.

“Yes it matters. More than anything– of course it matters.” You had told him. And you see the way Soshiro’s mouth quivers into a small tremble. Uncanny when he'd normally be so laid-back and sweet when it came to you.

And how you'd wish he just took a breather and relaxed. Maybe take a break so that they could talk things out. Without yelling preferably. But that had not been possible. At least not just yet from the way he replied.

“Well had I not made it in time, you woulda’ been dead. Do you hear me?”

“And yet, Here. I. Am. A witness to your unwarranted behavior.”

“Behavior that's justified because I shouldn't have let you outta my sight.”

Silence had followed soon after. Your mouth gapes for a moment to think of a reply when the words slip past your lips. And Soshiro would note how uncharacteristic that was, even for you. He, who was always used to your quick replies and clever jabs. But it seems his words had cut too far this time.

And he pried his eyes away from you. Chest heaving as he ran a hand through his face. “I shouldn't have..”

He composed himself. Clearing his throat whilst you looked at him with an etched frown on your face. One that he wished would go away. But he had been the cause of this.

He had been the one to make your smile go away. And it somehow makes him feel even worse.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. I just-”

“Soshiro.” Your voice sounded like bells. And when he looked up, relief had immediately sagged his shoulders upon seeing your gaze blown wide open. Not at all restrained by the pain medication and exhaustion you had felt.

And your hand had gently reached up to grab his own. Gentle in the way her thumb caressed his knuckle which had been previously so bruised and bloodied.

And although there was a struggle to reach for his hand. Your touch was met halfway. Gently threading your much softer skin that would've paled in comparison to a blanket had he not taken glances.

“What happened back there wasn't your fault. We couldn't have known that the Kaiju would follow me back to the shelter.” You whisper. And Soshiro's expression had turned serious. Like he held a weight that you couldn't possibly fathom even if you tried.

“And yet I let it slip away.”

“I let it get to you, and now you're in here because of me.” He had wanted to so badly pull away from you. To walk himself out before he could be tempted to lean back into those pretty eyes of yours. But the moment he met your sight.

Those sad eyes of yours had been his journey's end. And he couldn't do that to you. Not when your expression had frustratingly asked him to stay.

“And yet it was also because of you that I'm still alive and breathing, Soshiro.” You reasoned. “You don't give yourself enough credit. If it hadn't been for you I would've been-”

“Dead.” He cut you off. “You would've been dead.”

“No. You wouldn't have allowed that. You're the Vice Captain, remember? If there's anywhere safer for me, it's by your side.” You didn't know whether such assurances had really made him listen. The way he was assured in that answer of his wasn't a mere fortnight conclusion. It was as if he had been thinking of such consequences for a much longer time, and that alone makes your heart sink.

So you scooted closer. Moving in to try and pull him down so that you could wrap your arms around his neck. And just when you were snaking it through his shoulders. His hands had stopped you midway.

His calloused palms holding on to the points of your elbows as he gently pries you off of him.

Normally this would be met with your pout. Maybe another bout of force just let the stubborn man look your way. But you had been too weak, still healing from an injury you had no control over. And his response is far too swift for your liking. Leaving your arms missing the warmth his body could provide you.

“No, no, no, no, no–no. You don't understand. I don't deserve to be anywhere near you right now.” He had managed to convince himself. Looking away as the anxiety within you had spiked upon his words.

“Soshiro. Listen to me we can-”

“What I’m saying is that we're done here.”

You had blinked. Looking up at him who had towered above your bed. A somber look on his expression despite the daunting words he had spoken. He looked passive. Unaffected even. Like he had been ready for this moment which had been planned for a long time coming. And your voice could only muster a feeble whisper.

“What do you mean we're done?”

“It's over.” Soshiro continued. Not once paying your face any heed. Lest he change his mind from doing you a greater good he deemed correct. “I don't want anything to do with ya’ anymore.”

If this had been a dream you would've laughed at the way he delivered such a sentiment.

You'd somehow suppress the inner workings of your shock and you'd wake up to find the morning documents you promised yourself to do; in the desk untouched where it usually had been.

And by the time you left your room, you'd habitually laugh it off and tell Soshiro about it in the afternoon just to get a chuckle and light scolding out of him. The usual banter that admittedly, had always been the highlight of your day.

But this had not been a dream.

And hearing him say that. Had hurt more than you anticipated it seemed. And your voice cracks before you can even register yourself speaking.

"Is this because you think I can't love you?" The sudden appearance of tears had painted your face. And you had tried to sniff away the bigger ones that threatened to spill over. But to no avail.

And Soshiro’s eyes widen at the telltale signs of your crying. An unexpected third party which had not been invited to the list of things he ought to do. And his head reels to face you once more. Seeing your face redden with a shame he'd never thought he'd see.

"Do you really think that I'm incapable of willingly loving you? Even beyond that fucking sword of yours-" And Soshiro had all but shook his head. Remorseful in the way tears had jerked from your eyes.

"That ain't the point!"

"Then what IS the point!?" Your tears had blurred your vision. And your hand had embarrassingly moved up to wipe it. One that Soshiro had wished to do for himself had he not been so stubborn.

“-What is the point if I can't make sense of you trying to leave me?"

The turmoil in your voice had been made present. One so encompassing that Soshiro couldn't ignore. And as much as it hurts you to scream. It hurt him to see you suddenly cry like this. Someone he associated as being so usually strong-willed, crumbling in a few short words from him. And suddenly, it feels as if he wants to swallow back his words. Mouth churned into regret when he had moved to take a step closer to you.

“Sweetheart, please..I-”

He shook his head. Suddenly finding himself kneeling down in front of your bed. And when your eyes had met his, it was as if his heart had stopped momentarily. Too focused on the way you had looked at him in desperation. Mixed with both physical and emotional pain.

And he had been the cause of that. Regrettably he knew he had been the cause of that.

"Is the idea of me loving you THAT terrible of a concept to you?" you spoke flimsily. Words betraying the tone you wanted to convey. And somehow you felt worse than when blood was unnaturally seeping out of your wound.

And his own body. One that betrayed his own commands, had a mind of its own. Strong arms wrapping around your bandaged ones that had still been healing from the minor cuts you had accumulated. And the warm steady beat of his heart had drowned you back into reality. Cheeks pressed against his and regrettably, soiling his jacket.

Not that he minded of course. Far too focused on wiping your tears away. Shushing you when you'd shudder from the breathless sniffles he'd been the cause of.

"Shit- no sweetheart no. I didn't mean it."

“I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.” His instant apologies and regrets had echoed for a few moments. The sudden urge to calm you down had him reeling just to caress your shoulders. Weary of the injuries you were faced with as you cried in his arms.

And the struggling shudders you were faced with had all been too painful to see. Comical in the way he had all but worsened your condition when stressing a healing patient had been the last thing people needed to be reminded of.

Yet here you were, struggling to even cry when every breath would agitate any bandaged injuries you'd gotten. And it had been his fault entirely.

“I'm not leaving ya. I'm right here..” He whispered. And you had forcibly glanced up. Seeing the way his distress had wrinkled those usually foxy eyes. Like he had suddenly gained a keen sense of his stupidity and finally realized that his sentiments were not helping you. And upon realization you couldn't help but feel how silly all this had been.

You would've laughed had you not wasted such excess energy into crying your heart out in front of him. Likely an accumulation from the week's worth of not being able to see each other.

That and other things, which were obvious enough.

But you spoke. Wanting to pick his thoughts apart. Reason with him the next time this may happen. And your eyes flutter away the tears as you had finally managed to calm down enough to ask him.

“Then why? Why even suggest that?” Your voice had been soft. His thumbs move to caress the stray tears away from your face. Even moving to casually use his sleeves to gently wipe your cheeks in assurance of his presence. And you close your eyes at the simple gesture. Suddenly feeling much better now that he had been so close to you like this.

Crap, he set himself up didn't he? And just when he had this all planned out too.

In the wake of your hospitalization, he had planned to leave you. Somehow make you change occupations. Maybe work for a tech company where your life wouldn't be on the line. Where you'd be far away from his life and you could live a happy, seperate life from him.

But who was he kidding? Even he thinks it's stupid. The idea of doing you the greater good.

It had sounded conclusive back then.

He'd likely die young, a Kaiju attack that he had lacked defenses in no doubt. And somehow, you'd weasel your way out and live an old happy life.

Like bronze. Tarnished but long lasting.

But you had seen through his intention. And every right to refuse such a concept had knocked him over the head. A simple shed of tears was all it took for such a carefully built wall to crumble. His resolve in shambles at the mere thought of you leaving.

And to take that away from you. To separate the both of you like that? It felt wrong. And somehow his stupidity makes him laugh.

And the next words uttered had been voluntary on his part. Sloppy but it came out from an honest place. That even he doubted its power.

"Because, it scares me how much I need you. Okay?" He leans in. Head against your own so that your noses would touch. And you could see the little cracks on that smile of his. A stark contrast to the facade of laughs he'd usually give off. And it makes your heart flutter upon such fleeting confessions.

"Just hearing that voice of yours is enough to wreck me. And ruin me for anybody else."

"And when I saw you. Layin' there with that faraway look on your eyes. I just couldn't fucking breathe."

The way his eyes had not once left yours had felt like the first time you had met him. In that room with the Captain watching your interactions.

You had been less amicable to each other by then. Always second guessing each other by investigating the little nuances of your expressions. But somehow, the difficulties in reading each other had not been so far fetched. And the longer you two would spend time together. The more you had an inkling of what the other was thinking. And eventually an unspoken understanding had come between the both of you.

One that required no words to speak. Nor assistance from anywhere else. Just you and him. Nothing more.

"What If I lose you? You're all I fucking have.."

"Soshiro.” You whispered. Suddenly feeling the weight of his words drop down on you upon his realization. And you shake your head in turn. Immediately running your hands on the soft tresses of his hair. “You’re not going to lose me.”

“And what if I did?” He was quick to interject. “What if I had been a second too late and you were killed?”

“-And yet I'm still here. See?” You moved his intertwined hands to your chest. Firmly letting him feel the pulse of your heart. A repetition had to be made in order to convince him. And if you had to do such things a million times, there was no doubt you’d do it a thousand more times.

And his hand couldn't help but press firmly. Gingerly looking everywhere to check your wellbeing. Satisfied when he had settled in your slightly puffy eyes that he had been all too remorseful of when he found it too pretty to look away from.

You leaned in. Pressing light kisses against his cheeks to calm his thoughts. The voice in the back of his head all but silenced. When the adrenaline kicked in, because somehow he found himself unfocused when he caught your lips in his.

It was short and sweet.

Far different from the many picturesque and grandiose kisses he'd read about in books. And far too slow amidst the rush hours of your working breaks. Where you'd snag a few touches here and there just to get a rise out of each other. No this had been far too different. Far too gentle than it normally was. But despite the innocence of such a contact. It had made a more lasting impact on him.

The hesitation implied vulnerability, and without it. You'd be remiss to see Soshiro's true feelings underneath it. And it makes you pull away to rub your own hands against his chest. Admiring the way his uniform had engulfed him warmly in the cold air conditioning in the room.

All that matters was that they were okay now.

All that matters is that they are together now. Is that so much to ask?

“I won't die so easily, Soshiro.” Your assurances had made him perk up. Head still leaning against yours where you could see the pretty hallmarks of his tired eyes.

“I may not be able to know..everything in that damn head of yours. But what I do know? Is that I have unwavering trust in you. And that's the only reason I made it out alive today.” Your voice had made him crack a smile. One that makes you raise a brow at him. Suddenly fixated on the way his demeanor had changed so easily when you had spoken your piece.

And Soshiro, ever the enigma that he was. Had stopped his reluctance around you. Finally getting a chance to relax as his hands slotted its way to the bounce of your cheek and jaw, which he had always found so endearing to touch and look at.

He couldn't help but run soothing circles on your flesh. A habit he might've picked up on when reading a few romances here and there.And it makes you wonder if he had always been this sweet. A layer unknown go you that you'd love to rediscover, if only he'd put down that smart mouth of his.

“I think that was ‘bout a week ago.” He corrected you. His face is as snarky as his comment. And that was enough to shake your head.

But of course, that had been too much to ask. Too far and few inbetween. You spoke too soon.

“Fine. A week ago.” You affirmed. Though this time you had rolled your eyes with a laugh of your own.

And the two of you had simply sat there. Soshiro rocking you back and forth as best he could without risking your injuries. Hands against the plush of your waistline, carefully making sure the stitches were still intact. But the warmth had remained.

This time he had been less distant. More calm and understanding like he had usually been. And that was enough for you. For now.

“Do you mean that?”

“Mean what?” You had blinked with a smile on your face. Sweet as it came, you had a viper that you knew how to use. And Soshiro wasn't ever one to stop confronting it. Even if he had to break out of his shell to ask the harder questions between you both.

“When you said you loved me.” He added.

And he wouldn't be able to miss that pretty smile forming on the corners of your lips. Leaning against him until the softness of your lips had grazed his chapped ones. Though you’d note, it was still gentle. Still his. And still yours to capture should you want it.

“Do I have to kiss you again and prove it?” You mutter out.

“Do you not want to right now?”

And without a doubt did you lean in. Capturing his lips with a crooked smile in between. Soft and sensual. And you had missed this. Missed him who had not gotten the chance to set things right by you.

How long had it been since you had taken the time to really kiss him? Without the rush of prying eyes, nor the responsibilities that came with their work. It was just a kiss, yet in this moment it felt like everything.

Slow and reassuring. Without the need of words to complicate things. It had conveyed everything he needed to know. And when you pulled back, Soshiro could see the pretty pearls of your teeth. Admiring the way your lips had bruised red from how eagerly he had captured your mouth. And he wouldn't dream of being anywhere else in the world right now. Not when you had looked so perfect. Hospital gown and all.

“Does that prove my point?”

He laughs. Something you had always thought to be pretty.

“Maybe.” The familiar trace of his hand had brushed past your hair. Straightening out the few loose strands that could obscure him from your face. And his smile, although back to the usual cat-like facade, had now softened up significantly upon your presence. And you had prided the way this man had looked at you like you had offered him the world.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at ya. I just-”

“Shh..I know.” Your hand had touched his lips. Admiring the way it too, had reddened from your previous kisses.

“I'm tougher than bronze, you know? I'm not so simple as to let a few words bend me sideways.”

“Okonogi tells me the same.”

“And right she was. You should learn a thing or two from her.” And a laugh bubbles between the two of you. He had to remind himself to save his apologies later for Okonogi. For despite her absence, even now she was playing cupid for them. The small voice in his head urging him to tell you how he truly felt.

And without warning. He managed to say it outloud.

“I love you.”

Those words had struck a melodic chord in you. Ones that made you look back at him in temporary stupor. Before finally turning giddy at the way he so gently said it. No remorse. No regret. A fact even she couldn't deface as mockery. When there'd normally be a trick of a joke involved.

And in your quiet smiles held a deep admiration for him. Ones that squeezed Soshiro's hand despite the difficulty of your injuries.

But that didn't matter. Injuries heal after all. And right now, you had been far too focused on him to mind the slowly subsiding pain on your body.

“What's this all of a sudden? You're not joking are you?” You ask cautiously. Though a smile still remained on your face. Far too elated at hearing those words. And from the look on his face, you could tell he had been serious in his admission.

“It's not sudden. I just–” Soshiro lets out a small chuckle. Not entirely sure why he feels so nervous in the wake of your question.

“I meant to say it that day. Before the Kaiju attacked. I wanted it to be perfect for ya and..” His voice stops when you lean in. Cuddling him down as best you could in the safety of the hospital's bedsheets. The understanding look in your eyes had all but told him that you knew. And it makes him think twice about having to explain things to you again. Not when you could now read him so well. Especially in the most important aspects of his life.

“I know. You don't need to tell me twice."

He heard you speak. Though the hint of playfulness in your voice hadn't subsided. A reminder that you had been slowly regaining your strength. And pretty soon, you'd be pulling him down by the collar just to kiss him breathless if you wanted to.

But for now, he was gonna have to take care of you. Take the lead and deal with your smart comments. And it makes him smile knowing he'd get to hear such witty banters from you again. More so now that you were awake.

“Really now? And I thought you'd be happy to have me say it outloud for ya.”

His chuckle had made his chest rumble. And you could feel the pleasant vibration as your head fell squarely on his chest. A roll in your eyes as you had hummed in reply.

“Well…I suppose it couldn't hurt for you to say it again.”

And he would. He'd do it as long as you'd allow him that privilege.

And this time, he too had read you like an open book. Somehow fitting perfectly in the way they understand the other without needing to speak. They needed to work on it. They needed each other more than ever before.

So it was lucky their bonds were more lasting than bronze. And fate had brought them together.

#anime #kn8 #kaiju no. 8 #hoshina soshiro x reader #soshiro hoshina #soshiro hoshina x reader #hoshina soshiro #kaiju no 8 x reader #kn8 x reader #definitely self indulgent #angst #angst with a happy ending #hurt/comfort #arguing #kn8 manga #kaiju number 8 #mina ashiro #konomi okonogi

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hoshinasblade · 9 months ago

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"time cast a spell on you, but you won't forget me / i know i could have loved you but you wouldn't let me / you'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you" but make it about hoshina soshiro

when hoshina soshiro ended things with you, he said he did it because you deserve more than to be a young widow.

you would have called bullshit, but you recognise the truth is not far from his argument - defense force officers sometimes succumb to fatal injuries during kaiju attacks, and hoshina may be a skilled swordsman, but he isn't a god. as if the reason isn't enough, you knew that if he had wanted to stay with you despite being aware of the possibility of him dying in the field, he would have.

ten days before your third anniversary, hoshina abandoned your life and did not leave any traces at all. you did not know whether to be thankful that he was the one to tell your mutual friends of what transpired between you two.

it should have relieved hoshina; not being tied up in a relationship gave him more freedom to choose for himself - he even agreed to wear the weaponised kaiju no. 10 suit despite the likelihood of his lifespan decreasing because at least this time, he isn't worried that he will be leaving you alone in this world should something tragic happen to him. he's a more effective vice-captain if he doesn't have anything to lose.

really, it should have relieved hoshina but it doesn't.

he still makes his coffee the same way you taught him how to when you were just first seeing each other - two sugar and one cream, because he likes sweet things. everytime his jokes sell among the crowd of new recruits, he would get a flashback of how your laugh would sound like. he doesn't know if it's just in his head because it's been a while since he's seen you, much less heard your laugher. one time, when a particularly brutal kaiju attack occurred in the area close to where you live, hoshina soshiro prayed for the first time since he was a child - begging for any saint who would listen that hopefully you're safe, that you're alive.

really, the breakup should have relieved hoshina but it didn't. sometimes when he is too tired from training he would fall to his bed, his hand would trace the other side of the mattress for you only to find the cold and empty touch of his own blanket.

#i should not be allowed to listen to sad songs at night #because things like this happen #angst angst angst #hoshina soshiro x reader #hoshina soshiro #soshiro hoshina #soshiro hoshina x reader #lian's thoughts #hoshina x reader #hoshina soshiro fic #kaiju no. 8 #kn8 x reader

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yoredoesmore · 4 months ago

Note

Hi! Idk if your reqs are still open since you said you’re kinda in hiatus (which pls take your time! Rest lots!), but.. could I ask a part 2 of Old Habits Die Hard?

Maybe a direct continuation or a lil time skip where reader is still confused by the soft hoshina but everyone else caught on? If you don’t have inspiration for it it’s tots fine! I just loved it so much that made me want more!

Old Habits Don't Die pt. 2 | Hoshina Soshiro

pairing: Hoshina Soshiro x Fem!Reader

genre: /romance/slowburn/enemies to lovers/angst if you squint

summary: Soshiro plays with your feelings one too many times and now has to deal with the consequences

read pt. 1 here

wc: 3k

a/n: I kinda rushed this (and lost the romance/soft aspect for a sec im sorry) but I hope you like it :>

Enjoy!

He was teasing you again, he had to be. The sly smirk on his face and the soft blush that hushed over his cheeks, he must be toying with you, right? Just like back then in kindergarten where he would add cute hair clips into your hair without you noticing at first or changing your name cards so you would sit next to him during lunch, he was simply goofing around. After all, old habits don't die.

You were somehow able to adjust to the new circumstances after a few months passed by. Perhaps it was the chaotic work atmosphere that had your mind occupied or the new friends you made along the journey. Whatever it may have been, you found yourself less troubled by Soshiro's presence than you thought you'd be.

“You seem to have finally grown used to the Vice Captain's outgoing personality, Y/n.” Okonogi mentioned while the both of you worked on individual projects.

“Yeah, you could say that.” You shrugged, too busy with the task at hand to really focus on the conversation.

“He has become someone who I tolerate, I guess.”

Okonogis kindness reached into every corner of the world. Referring to Soshiros' antics as outgoing was more than just generous. But that is what you admired about her.

Soshiro could really learn from the woman. Considering how close they were, you believed that some of her kindness would rub onto him but it seemed like he had no interest in changing his ways. Although you did appreciate him looking out for you all the time, he lost all your respect whenever he would pull another stunt of his.

He yet had to call you by your name too but you doubted that he would ever let go of that nickname. Pigtails. It was so childish and absurd, mocking, but on a level only a child would take offense to. Talking him out if it was not going to happen anytime soon, not because he would never listen to you but simply because you loved the hairstyle and refused to let go of it. And with his mindset, he would insist that you keeping it was an encouragement.

Whatever.

Your pigtails swayed left and right as you walked down the hallways in a pace that could be considered a strong jog. Folders and binders sat tightly pressed against your chest, threatening to slip out of your grip if you were to bump into something.

No time could be wasted.

For the past few weeks, you have been working on a training segment that could drastically improve the current training sessions and help the fighters understand the beats they face even better. Kafka was the inspiration for this project. His knowledge about the Kaiju has benefited the team many times and the both of you advocated that if you were to incorporate learning lessons into the training course, fighting Kaiju would be so much easier.

Unfortunately, it was on you to call the project to life. While Kafka was the inspiration and helped you come up with an impressive curriculum, it was your job as the operations Vice Leader to take care of the details, paperwork and lastly– the presentation.

Okonogi did offer you her help but knowing how packed her schedule is you did not want to add to her stress. Besides, this was your chance to prove that you were more than just a cute face– which lead you to another problem.

Pigtails has been making its rounds. You already found it blatantly unprofessional (and humiliating) for Soshiro to address you by that nickname but for your fellow colleagues to call you that? That was one brick too much.

At first it was only a select few, friends, who would beckon you with the alias, but all of a sudden more and more cadets, researchers and even Ashiro began to refer to you by the name. It felt more disrespectful rather than uncomfortable. Soshiro used to be the only one who called you by this name, now it has become all too common with the people..

"Pigtails!” You heard a voice that did not belong to the Vice Captain call out. In the room next to your right, which you already passed by, one of your coworkers stood in the door frame.

“Oh, good evening Mr. Miyagi.” Mr. Miyagi too worked for the operations department, but for a different division. He has been overseeing a few projects at the base for the past weeks and has grown rather comfortable with you.

So much that he did not feel like it was necessary for him to keep his distance or even ask if he could touch your pigtails.

“Your bravery is admirable, Vice Leader.” He grinned, testing how gravity worked on your two tails.

“Such a childish hairstyle at a place like this, not just anyone can pull that off.”

You smiled. Mr. Miyagi felt comfortable in his actions, playing dolls with your hair as if he had known you for ages. There was only one person you knew who was bold enough to dare pull such vulgar action off.

Within seconds, your hand grasped the other's wrist and forcefully pulled him off your head. The soft demeanor on your face was no more, only a cold and toxic smile.

“I have made peace with the image of cuteness that was bestowed upon me by my peers.” You squeezed his arm, hard.

“But I will not let this level of disrespect reach any greater heights. I am a Vice Leader for heaven's sake. I will have you know, Mr. Miyagi, as comfortable as you may feel around me, I will remind you that you and I are mere coworkers and the privilege of touching, no, being this close to me is one reserved for friends, family and those I tolerate.”

The man before you had yet to collect his jar off the floor. His gaze shakily met with yours, in desperate search for sarcasm but his search came out empty.

“I was wondering what took ya so long.” A new voice joined the scene, one you knew all too well and had hoped to avoid for just a little longer.

“We were supposed to meet ten minutes ago for yer presentation, but it looks like ya were occupied..otherwisely.”

Soshiro paused, his gaze now falling onto the man who was shaking in his boots more than before.

“Looks like Mr. Miyagi is spouting incomprehensible bullshit again. Did he bother ya?”

“Not any more than you normally do.” You replied, finally releasing the man from your grip. A long sigh of relief escaped from his lips but it came out more a gasp.

“I apologize Ma'am.” Without allowing either of you to hold him any longer, Mr. Miyagi fled the scene, leaving the two of you alone.

“Is there somethin’ on my face?” Soshiro's voice sat low in his throat as he stepped closer, closing the distance between the two of you. He had that irritating, soft smile on his face, the kind that felt like it was mocking you but in a friendly way.

“This is all your fault, you know.” Crossing your arms over your chest you gave the man a stern look. He simply chuckled, moving closer until he towered right above you. Back in kindergarten, the two of you were about the same height but you were indeed slightly taller than him. Now, he stood a few inches above you, not much but it was enough for his ego to feel elevated.

“Can ya blame me?” Soshiro twirled one of your curls around in his fingers. “Who wouldn't wanna put a cute nickname on ya?”

“I literally am blaming you, Soshiro.” Your stance stayed stoic, not moving or shifting as Soshiro tried to ride on your nerves again.

“Well, I've gotta admit that I'm a little salty about everyone calling yer by my special nickname. Especially morons like Miyagi.”

Soshiro's eyes lit up as his fingers moved from your hair down to your cheeks, gently caressing them. The motion felt heavily out of character, yet you stopped yourself from urging him away. His eyes shone so gentle and bright, with a tenderness strictly reserved for you. Your heart was torn between pushing him away or accepting him.

“Shouldn't we focus on my presentation..” The more he stared at you the more you found yourself flustered by his sudden closeness.

“Oh I'm paying attention.”

“I mean on the proje-"

“Consider it approved.”

Just like that??

The tension drastically shifted from heavy to palable. Soshiro's fingers still embraced your cheeks, his thumb drawing over your flustered skin like a painting. His face stood inches from yours, begging to close the distance between both your–

“I'm just playin with ya!”

And just like that the atmosphere shattered.

Within seconds, the man distanced himself from your confused figure, leaving not even a drop of the previous tension behind.

“Ya should have seen yer adorable little face, Pigtails, to die for!”

Soshiro fell into a pit of laughter. It felt mocking and extreme, like prickles of poison on your skin. You felt the muscle in your body tense and the helpless expression on your face shifting into a painful frown.

“You jerk..” You mumbled, head lowered to the floor. Soshiro immediately stopped in his motions and looked at you, eyes tearing wide open as he saw what state he had pushed you into.

“You disgusting jerk!” Slapping your binders and folders into his chest, you pierced him with one final glare before dashing out of the room.

“It wouldn't hurt ya to take me seriously every now and then, you know!” The door fell shut with a loud crash, leaving the Vice Captain alone in the space.

“You did what now?”

“I panicked..”

“The Hoshina Soshiro? Who towers over Kaiju and slays them in a moment's breath. He panicked? In front of his childhood sweetheart?” Ashiro found herself unable to accept the words Soshiro was handing her.

After yesterday's antics you were left in a state of bitter defeat. You walked into the office a deflating mess, unable to work properly or even hold a conversation with Okonogi. Your superior went straight to Ashiro to discuss her concerns and at exactly that moment, Soshiro entered the room.

Saying that both Okonogi and Ashiro felt highly disappointed was an understatement.

“It is one thing to bully the girl you like in kindergarten, heck even high-school, but at work? She is a grown woman with emotions and thoughts, what you did yesterday was utterly disrespectful and humiliating.”

Ashiro nodded her head, agreeing with Okonogi's preaching.

“And not to mention, she probably likes you too– or better said liked. After that little stunt you pulled I don't know if she wants to have anything to do with you anymore.”

“What? What are you talking about?” Soshiro turned his head towards the scientist in confusion, not enough threats in his head to connect the dots himself.

“Y/n, despite her looks, is not the soft type. If anyone did what you did to her in the past up till now she would be out for blood. But instead she lets you touch her hair and call her by this childish nickname.” Okonogi spoke, as if it was the most obvious thing.

Even Ashiro, who lacked a deeper level of connection with you, was able to comprehend your behavior towards the man.

It took Soshiro moments of silence to grasp the concept of the situation. He found himself regretting yesterday's actions even more as he realized that you wouldn't have pushed him away like he thought you would. No matter where life took him in the past, you always found your way back to him.

"You can't hog the animal plushies, you have to share them, Soshiro!”

“Students are not allowed to use the training rooms on the third floor, they are strictly reserved for the higher ranked students.”

“It’s just..I think I ran into an old acquaintance of mine yesterday. Here in the building. Haven't seen him in a while and we go like, wayyy back.”

He should have realized it sooner.

“You done fucked up.” Ashiro sighed, pulling the man out of his daydreams.

“Fuck..”

At this point it was more convenient for you to take a sleeping bag with you to work rather than renting the apartment near the base. All nighters have become a consistent part of your work life (and especially after what happened last week with Soshiro) you found yourself slacking off during the day and making up for it at night even more.

But there was nothing you could do about that. You'd rather lose sleep than hand over half assed assignments– or fall behind.

A soft knock against your office door allowed you temporary peace. It was Okonogi who had come to pick up the files you were supposed to hand her in the afternoon.

“I'll have them done by 9, I promise!”

You had bowed and apologized at least a thousand times, feeling truly terrible for delaying her work so much because of your personal problems.

You thought about what happened to Soshiro more than you would like to admit. It laid heavy on your mind and refused to let you rest. It was always the same with him and it made your heart heavier than it already is.

“Thanks again Oko-”

“Hey-”

Before the word could even make it into the air, you gently closed the door on the man. He had it coming. Knowing that made it feel a little less painful when you shut the door right in front of him but it still stung.

“Okonogi sent me to collect the folders.” Sounds of shuffles were heard, together with the arranging of papers. Then the door opened– but only a small slip, big enough for the folders to be passed through.

“Listen, I'm sorry.”

No answer followed his words.

“I haven't been easy on ya, ever really, and I..fuck..I don't know what it is, I'm sorry.”

“You've always been like this..just one big asshole..”

“Yes, I'm an asshole and ya don't deserve this kind of treatment. It's just..”

You shouldn't be feeling this way. Every fiber in your being just wanted to slam the door shut on the man, tell him to leave you alone for good and maybe threaten him in some kind of way..but this wasn't kindergarten. There was no Ms. Yuki you could call or any rule book that would back you up. If you wanted things to change you had to act on your own.

The both of you are adults now. And although old habits stuck to you like dirt did to a slug, there had to be an end to this childish mess.

The door moved open at a slow pace, revealing your dejected figure. “Do you hate me, Soshiro?"

Silence.

"What..? No, no. I..” Hurt and distress oozed off Hoshina's voice like blood from a fresh wound. It felt like he was almost offended that you would suggest that, yet he knew that his actions were to blame for you coming to that conclusion.

“We have been like this for ages, ever since we have known each other actually. The bickering, the mocking, the teasing..it just felt so natural to me..and I thought it was the same for you.” His voice was but a mere rough whisper at the end, that snuck around your throat.

One of Soshiro’s arms found its way around your waist, gently pulling you closer to his body. You felt his warmth surround you like mist, sending you into a soft trance. You would be lying if you said that being so close wasn't comforting .

“You're always pushing your goddam luck with me, Soshiro. I let you have these moments, I allowed the mocking and teasing because I thought you'd change. But..”

“So you believed in me?” You chuckled, shaking your head at his boldness.

“I always believed that one day the two of us could get past this stupid phase and, I don't know, become friends or something like that. Gosh, this sounds so stupid..”

In a gentle motion, two of his fingers found themselves under your chin, slightly tilting your head to the side.

“I've always wanted to get closer to you. Being a bother was the only way I knew how to get on your radar but I agree, we are grown now..”

You melted. You melted like butter under his touch and it felt relaxing to finally be at ease around him.

“Saying my name, my real name, would be a great start, Vice Captain.”

Your lips hovered right above Soshiros, ghosting over them and your eyes drank in his image with a subtle hint of need.

“Alright then, Y/n.”

The arm around your waist pulled you even closer, so that both your bodies connected. He pulled you in so tenderly, as if he was afraid to break the moment. Soshiro's breath lingered on your lips for a second, until his fell on yours. He caught you in a heated kiss, rough yet sweet and passionate. It held all the emotions, thoughts and wants he has been holding the past years.

And you felt, in the way Soshiro was holding your face in place with his fingers, that he has been wanting to do this for a long time now. You as well found yourself in this foreign experience, holding onto his shoulders for support and comfort and pressing down on them when he tried to deepen the kiss.

The moment lasted, until the both of you were forced to gasp for air.

His thumb ghosted over your lips, hungry and desperate for more and his lips curled up into a devious smirk as he saw the same emotions reflect in your eyes.

“This feels much better than having ya yell at me.” Soshiro's hands moved up to undo your pigtails as he spoke, allowing your hair to fall free.

“I guess Okonogi can wait.”

a/n: (rant) I always want to keep these stories short but then I'm scared that the pace is too fast and then it takes me days to write something I can tolerate ughh

#yoredoesmore #x reader #anime fanfic #hoshina soshiro x reader #kaiju no. 8 #soshiro hoshina #hoshina x reader #requests are open #romance #fluff #light angst

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elliada · 9 months ago

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Alternate Universe: In which Kafka self-sacrifices during the final battle.

#Kaiju No. 8 #Kn8 #Kaiju No. 8 Spoilers #(this is totally fabricated but I'm tagging spoilers just in case)#(mostly for the first two pictures)#tw blood #anyway today I woke up and chose violent angst lmao #kinda satisfied with the result #(however if this scenario ever happens in the manga i'm ending myself :))#Hibino Kafka #Hoshina Soshiro #hoshikaf #kafhoshi #manga edit #mine: edits

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inzaynety · 10 months ago

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part of the job ⤫

➢ summary: after using no. 10, hoshina realizes one of the reasons behind his drive to fight. after listening, you realize the limits to your everything.

➢ content: hoshina x fem!reader, 1607 words, non-explicit injuries, spoilers from the manga (fight starting at ch. 88 and hoshina’s past lwky), locking someone up (crack part lol), slight angst, hurt/comfort

➢ notes: yo🫸🏼🫷🏼this is more of a character analysis for hoshina and reader so i added some dialogue from the manga itself to connect it a little more (w/ reader influence ofc be we’re delulu like that)

pt. 2 - pt. 3 of slice & dice - pt. 4

Not yet. My sword is right there.

He feels like he’s floating, like his body is lighter than he remembers. But there’s no time to waste, he has to grab hold—oh. That’s why he feels that way.

His arm is gone.

Hoshina stares in shock as his blade moves further and further away, and all that’s left is him and his thoughts. He can’t feel himself moving; he can’t feel himself breathing.

If he were his brother, he would have been able to switch over to his firearms without a worry and take down the Kaiju just like that. For crying out loud, this was a smaller one. This should have been easier for him. His father and the first commander he trained for, didn't need his particular set of skills.

And you—what were you doing there? He knows he’s dying, and he knows this is what people might see before they go. But how cruel is it when it’s your own lover staring back at you?

If he were you, what would he do?

He’d take your other hand and shove his blade back in there, probably complaining about how hard to hold Izumo tech made them, more so than the guns at least. And he’d push you to keep on fighting even if neither of you knew you’d make it back.

Why? Because he knows how much you love your weapon. He knows how much you trained with that old thing more times than he can count. And he knows it’s the same for him.

A jarring laugh takes him out of his thoughts. Hoshina gasps and clenches his left fist, then his right. His arm was still there.

How was that?! I totally fended it off!!

That son of a bitch Kaiju No. 10.

You can’t listen.

Having been injured in a previous mission yourself, you were pretty much banned from joining the fight anywhere. Your division knows that despite whatever persona you had as their commander, if there was a place you’d want to be, you’d be there no matter what.

The only thing you could do now, however, was send your vice commander and platoon leaders off before settling into your office and waiting. The control room was only a corridor down and from the messages you’d been receiving, your team was doing just fine.

You just didn’t know if he was. The First and Third had their fair share of strong opponents but it doesn’t seem like they ever caught a break. Even if they were going to be using Kaiju powered suits and weapons, that was never going to be enough, was it?

You only had the call with Okonogi to go off of and had placed yourself on mute so as not to distract her from her job. But it scared you instead upon hearing the Third’s own shouts and cries of their vice commander’s name.

Your finger hovers over the red button after a particularly devastating yell until an alarm blares in your office.

“Commander! There’s a situation with Mizutani’s Platoon!”

Without hesitation, you lift your finger off and connect it to your in-ear, placing your phone in your pocket before rushing to the control room.

Why is it that even though I’d lose and lose, I never stopped swingin’? Why is it that even after being told I should give up time and time again, I never stopped fighting?

He stands unwavering on an equal level with Kaiju No. 10 sitting in front of him, waiting idly for his answer.

“To beat my brother.”

No.

“To hold on to the one thing I’ve got goin’ for me.”

No!

“To fulfill my duties as vice-captain.”

Quit trying to put up a front!

Hoshina doesn’t know what the monster wants to hear, but he knows they don’t have much time right now. No. 12 is much stronger than No. 10 was and he can’t imagine what would happen if he failed to neutralize it now. Only he could do something about it but now he was utterly lost. What could he do?

The world around him steadies and he blinks. Oh.

“Because swingin’ the sword...”

Kaiju No. 10 doesn’t move.

“...is fun.”

No. 10 grits its teeth, veins popping against its skin as it rises, its eye peeking from the cross-shaped hole in its head.

That’s right.

You’re pacing back and forth, receiving poorly concealed glances sent your way by your own division. It felt like an eternity from the time you were called into the room to the time of any other update from the Third Division. This can’t be healthy.

You hate thoughts like this. They give you doubts. Doubts about things you can’t control by yourself, nor can you even if you were given the wheel. It’s not in your place to stop him or abandon your post just for him. You wish you could split yourself in half and not worry so much, but wouldn’t it be easier to find a way to get rid of that worry? What about–

“Vice Commander Hoshina has neutralized No. 12!!” Okonogi announces that you can hear it through your in-ear as well as your control room’s speakers. Your team lets out a collective cheer and sighs of relief as you visibly relax, reaching into your pocket to hang up the call.

On the monitors, every platoon leader and officer worked with pride and neutralized their own Kaiju with ease from the moral boost that, among Shinomiya and Gen’s victories, had given them. Everything was going to be fine.

But the piercing eyes of those thoughts stay in the back of your head.

His whole body is sore and hot when he wakes up. The smell of fresh linen and alcohol comes to his senses and when he opens his eyes, you’re right there in front of him. Hoshina’s surprised but he’s also imagining the look on the medics faces seeing you rush through the halls like he knows you did.

“Sweet–” You punch his better side and he yelps. He tries to retort at the action but one look at your face has him holding it in.

“Dumbass! Stupid. You were—god, I swear I’m locking you up and never letting you see the light of day.” But then you’re gently pressing your face against the same arm and letting out the deepest sigh you had been keeping in. His expression softens as he brings his hand up to pat your head.

“Not even congratulations? Good job?” You were probably aware of how much he overheated his suit and definitely aware of how he was using the prototype No. 10 suit, so that did not help in extinguishing your worries. Yeah, he was reckless alright.

Tears start to form in your eyes and while you’re grateful that your face is hidden from his sight, Hoshina knows you better than that. You must have been so worried for him while being preoccupied with your own division and everything. It was so, so hard. Your grip on the back of his pillow doesn’t go unnoticed.

The sudden thoughts hit you again and guilt runs through you. How could you think that?

“Hey–” Hoshina starts as now you’re crying, holding onto his arm with a grip just a tad lighter than the one you have on the cloth behind him. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” You weren’t one to cry so much, at least not lately. He made that a mission for himself.

You only shake your head, allowing yourself to be moved by a man more hurt than yourself into his arms as he comforts you. His warmth is there, his heart is beating, and his words are spoken right into your ear to tell you he’s there. He’s alive, he’s fine.

But what if he wasn’t? What if he didn’t make it out of there?

“Look at me.” His voice is firm, juxtaposed with the hands lifting your face to get you to focus your attention on him. “I’m right here.”

You should be here comforting him, not the other way around. Of course, your Soshiro would be the one to do this, though. You raise your eyes to him and come to the realization of the utmost contentment you’ve ever felt. Something you’ve always felt with him.

Of course, your Soshiro.

It takes a few moments but you’re able to calm yourself. He wipes away your tears with his thumbs, and waits patiently in case you want to say something, even if it is nothing at all.

“I…” You can’t pick out your words right away, “...felt like I couldn’t do anything. Watching you like that. Soshiro,” he’s hanging onto your every word, “I thought that if, just for a second, you weren’t in my life, maybe it’d be easier to not feel like that.” Even coming from your own mouth, it sounds too harsh and too horrifying to say out loud. His hold falters, you can feel it, and you’re immediately wracked with more guilt.

“But–”

“That’s okay.” Is what Hoshina answers first, stopping you. His hands on your face grasp you more and bring you closer to his. “I’d like to think I know ya enough to know what ya want to say. Maybe ya don’t know it yet.” The glint in his eyes are back, earning an automatic roll of your eyes.

He’ll tell you later how much you helped him.

“There’s my girl.” He places a kiss on your nose and rests your foreheads together. “Besides, ya can’t get rid of me that easily.”

You’ve helped him so much more than you think.

“I’ll always be here.”

#kaiju no. 8 x reader #kaiju no. 8 fluff #kn8 x reader #kn8 fluff #hoshina x reader #hoshina fluff #hoshina angst #kn8 angst #kaiju no. 8 angst #hoshina soshiro x reader #hoshina #hoshina soshiro #soshiro hoshina x reader #soshiro hoshina #fics

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milkbobatyun · 6 months ago

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dont cry, my darling

pairing: soshiro hoshina x fem!reader

genre: angstober, events

summary: somehow, hoshina soshiro was always the reason for your tears

word count: 1k

a/n: i liked soshiro first, before i even met him (in the anime) i liked him. YOU HATE HIM COMPARED TO HOW MUCH I LIKE HIM ୧(๑•̀ᗝ•́)૭ (pls smw get this reference) literally such a simp for him, i hope this fic does him justice

the hospital room was illuminated by the watery moonlight, filtering through the paper thin curtains covering the windows on the far side of the room. the steady metronome of the heart monitor was the first thing soshiro heard as he woke up from his sleep.

he stared listlessly up at the grey ceiling, breathing in the antiseptic smell that lingered in the room. as he regained consciousness, he was aware of a dull ache of pain throbbing through his body, white bandages wrapped around his chest. perhaps he over-exerted himself in the battle against number 10.

he lay still in the comfort of the bed, eyes scanning around the room. it seemed that the rest of the patients had long since recovered from their wounds, the rest of the beds were empty.

a tight grip encased his hand, where it rested beside him. turning his head, he saw your form, slumped onto the bed, head resting against your arm, as you slept.

the shadows haunting underneath your eyes told him of your worry, how long you had stayed awake, waiting for him. your hair was messy mane around your head, though it didn’t take away from your beauty.

moonbeams smiled upon your face, their cheerful light catching on the dried tear stains running down the apples of your cheeks.

he sat up with an effort, a quiet grunt echoing throughout the empty room. he lovingly admired your sleeping form, his usual close-eyed smile morphing into one of sadness. it seemed that he was always the reason for your tears.

MEMORY I

it had been your fifth birthday, and your second year of moving into his neighbourhood.

that day, you had excitedly knocked on the hoshina residence’s front door, both hands eagerly clutching the sparkly pink handbag you just received from your parents.

you waited in anticipation at the front door, hopping from foot to foot in excitement, eyes sparkling when you hear the door slide open.

with your best manners, you greeted soshiro’s father, who had opened the door. in the shadows of the foyer, soshiro lingered, peeking and listening in. he should’ve been practicing his swordart, but you were more important. for you, he would drop everything to keep you company.

“good morning, mr hoshina!” you beamed up at him, a gap where your two front teeth should’ve been. “it’s my birthday today! i was wondering if… if soshiro could come and celebrate with me.” you blinked up at him, hope shining from your face.

his father had rumbled something in response. from behind the door, soshiro watched your eyes well with tears, your bottom lip trembling with the effort of holding them back.

the sun glistened, light reflecting off of the salty droplets as they fell.

it was only after your fervent pleading and watery puppy dog eyes that his father had finally relented, allowing his son to spend his day with you, though he had strictly ordered soshiro complete 30 extra sets of exercises the next day.

to soshiro, it was all worth it, just to see you smile.

MEMORY II

the next time he had made you cry was merely a few months after your seventh birthday.

the two of you were playing around in your backyard, flying your kite. a rogue wind snatched up your kite, throwing it into the intricate branches of the peach tree. your face fell almost immediately, lips turning down into a frown.

when he caught sight of your gloomy face, soshiro immediately sprung into action. he scampered up the tree like a monkey, carefully untangling the kite from the grasp of the tree.

yet, as he was climbing back down, his foot slipped, causing him to land in an undignified heap at the foot of the tree. the rough bark of the tree had scraped at his knee, a small river of blood leaking.

such a sight made you feel guilty. soshiro had gotten himself injured trying to help you. as you dabbed at his wound with an alcohol-soaked cotton, tears leaked from your eyes, while you repeatedly mumbled apologies.

soshiro only gave you a wide-smile, gently pinching your cheeks between his fingers, as he teased you.

“what a crybaby!” he laughed, smile stretching from ear to ear. “smile for me!”

through your tears and blurry vision, you gave him a wobbly smile.

MEMORY III

when soshiro had left for the defence force, you had spent a whole week, holed up in your room, fuming with anger.

how dare that bowlcut prick not tell you he was leaving and had signed up for the defence force? if this idiot had thought that he could just up and leave without a word to his girlfriend, he should be prepared to catch some hands, or slippers, when he returned.

months passed and you didn’t hear a peep from him. as the date of your 1 year anniversary grew closer, you slowly began to lose hope.

as you trudged home from work, kicking a loose stone as you went by, you quietly cursed soshiro under your breath, the string of curses growing as you neared your home.

suddenly, a large bouquet is thrust under your nose. looking up, you see none other than the devil himself, mr hoshina soshiro, standing and grinning, covered in bandages and his defence force uniform thrown over it, holding a comically large bouquet of flowers, with your favourite snacks stuffed between some of flowers.

tears pooled in your eyes as your tired brain finally registers that after months of no contact, here he was, your boyfriend, in the flesh, with a cheesy grin on his face.

seeing your bottom lip tremble, soshiro panicked, engulfing you in a hug as your salty tears soak into his uniform as you sobbed complaints about how you thought he died.

soshiro is brought back to the present when he hears you stir, mumbling something in your sleep.

reaching behind him, he plumps up one of the numerous pillows cushioning him, before gently removing his hand from your grasp, lifting your head and nestling a pillow underneath.

he quietly slipped his hand back into yours. catching sight of your empty left hand, he brainstormed what type of ring you would like, thumb brushing over your knuckles.

he hoped, the next time he made you cry, it would be tears of joy.

taglist (open): @leehanscorydora, @nfekwefdskldm (FELLOW SOSHIRO SIMP !!)

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nobodygotyoulikehoshina · 4 days ago

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LOOK BACK | Hoshina Soshiro

Chapter I

➢Summary: You weren't one to stick to tradition. Never were you, and never will you be. And if it meant following Hoshina Soshiro even to the pits of hell, you wouldn't hesitate on breaking any custom or practice. Too bad he never bothered to look back, where you always were.

➢Content: romance, angst, friendship, humour, violence (cw: mentions of death, fighting, blood, injuries, alcohol, cursing, possible mental distress from the characters, some gender stereotypes). will expand with the story.

➢ Pairing: Vice-captain! Hoshina x Platoon Leader! Fem! Reader

➢Genre: childhood best friends to lovers

➢Wc: 2084

➢notes: hello! nice to meet y'all in my first anime fic ever. i hope you enjoy it, and any support is appreciated. if you wish to be added to the series masterlist, don't be afraid to comment or message me. enjoy the read <3 (english is not my first languange, so feedback is appreciated).

You don’t know what might have been out of your life if you hadn’t joined the Defense Forces.

Sure, your family’s business, a humble kendo dojo, was always an option, but you never felt like doing that for the rest of your life. Indeed, you loved your family above anything, but you also had never been one to always stick to tradition in that sense. If you had, you would have never picked up the blade.

Or followed Hoshina Soshiro to the pits of hell.

If his family origins went back centuries, all the way back to the Muromachi Period, then yours did as well. Once a noble clan of samurais, no one in your family managed to produce warriors as fierce and talented as the Hoshina’s, and being based in the same region, it was a matter of time until you became a vassal family to his. Your ancestors aided the Hoshina’s for centuries as companions, loyally following them to their deaths in the never-ending battle against kaijus.

You couldn’t tell what was about Hoshina Soshiro that made you want to follow him anywhere. Whether it was a genuine liking of his person or that protectiveness for the Hoshina’s was engraved on your DNA, it didn’t matter because, either way, you have been trailing behind him ever since you both were five years old.

“Platoon Leader (L/N) here, permission to enter, sir!” you announced yourself in front of the open wooden doors of Vice-captain Hoshina’s office.

“Oh, Platoon Leader (L/N), what a surprise to see ya at this hour,” he turned back at the entrance with his ever-present grin. “Please come in, and close the door behind ya”.

You did as commanded, closing the door with one hand and holding a stack of papers on the other.

“Now now, what brings ya to my office so late at night, hm?” he had moved to the front of his desk just to lean on it while looking at you, arms crossed over his chest in a playful stance.

You lifted the papers in your hand a little bit. “To bring this report to you, sir. A couple of rookies in my platoon thought it funny to sneak out on an on-duty night to go out to the bar. Let’s say they didn't get too far.”

Hoshina’s smile grew wider. “And ya got stuck doing the incident report, I guess?”

“That is correct, sir”.

Hoshina clapped twice, a sound that was amplified by the silence of his office at midnight. “My my, what a dependable leader ya’ve become, (Y/N). Leave it on my desk and I’ll give it a look in the mornin’.”

You shot him a dirty look for his teasing, and he responded by sticking his tongue back at you. In a couple of strides, you reached his desk, brushing past him, and placed the report on it. For mere seconds, you could feel the warmth from his jacket.

You went back to your initial position, giving him a half-hearted salute. “That’s all, Vice-captain Hoshina. If there’s nothing you need from me, with your permission, I’ll retire for the night, sir.”

“Actually,” he interrupted before you could grab the door handle, “I do have a reminder for ya.”

You turned back at him, confused. “A reminder, sir?”

“Yes, a reminder, (Y/N), dear,” Hoshina looked smug. “A little reminder that ya can address me informally when ya are with me”.

Your heart skipped a bit, but you caught yourself in seconds. “We are on duty, Vice-captain. I’m afraid that doing something like that would earn me some push-ups, would it, sir?”

“Nonsense,” he dismissed your arguments with a wave of his hand, “we are alone in here. Nothin’ to worry about”.

You raised an eyebrow towards your friend. “Weren’t you the one that told the recruits to be careful since we can hear everything said around here?”

For a second, you could see his half-open eyes crinkle with mischief. “There’s no mics in here. Vice-captain privileges.”

“Oh?,” you questioned him even further, “Sounds a little suspicious to me, sir. Thank you for the reminder, but I’ll still take my leave for the night. If I may.”

With a defeated sigh, Hoshina dismissed you with a hand gesture and you turned your back to him while opening the door. As you were closing the wood slab, you stuck your head back in the office.

“Good night…Hoshina-kun.” You didn’t stay to see if he responded.

As you made your way back to your personal quarters, eager to change in your sleepwear, a certain someone never left your thoughts.

God, Hoshina Soshiro never changes.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Life in the Third Division was chaotic, to say the least.

If it wasn’t the constant danger of a kaiju attack looming over Tokyo, it was the incessant drama that ensued housing hundreds of officers and staff 24/7 that threatened to shorten your lifespan. In a life of continuous near-death experiences, you realized that, no matter how many times you had been grateful to be able to open your eyes to another day, you would always prefer to kill yourself over mediating another petty fight between your subordinates. Today's offenders?

Two officers and a broken BS5.

“Platoon Leader (L/N), ma’am, with all due respect,” one of the young officers pleaded before you, “but what officer Watanabe here is saying is a mountain of crap”.

“Crap?!” the other officer exclaimed, turning to his comrade, almost as if forgetting you were there. “You bastard! The only one spewing crap here is you!”

Cue more shouting in your office. With all the reports, strategy meetings, and training on schedule for that day, you had no time to be dealing with this type of moronic quarrel. You felt a vein on your forehead pop the more these men kept insulting each other, not even caring anymore of hearing your opinion on the matter. But your patience finally met its end when Officer Watanabe turned to grab his comrade’s jacket to start a real fight.

You didn’t know how Captain Ashiro managed to do this all day. Hell, how even Hoshina did it.

You hit the palm of your hand loudly against your desk, rattling the stationary on top. “Enough, you two!”. Startled by the sudden sound, they separated from each other, at least looking a little embarrassed from being reprimanded that way.

“Officer Watanabe, Officer Sato,” you addressed both of them in a stern voice, “you both have been behaving way out of line for officers of the Defense Force. Causing disturbances in public spaces, breaking public property, and even almost starting a brawl in front of a superior officer. All those actions by themselves entail considerable punishments”.

“But, Platoon Leader (L/N),” Officer Sato tried to interrupt but you cut him off first.

“No buts, Officer Sato, or I’ll have to add insubordination to the list of offenses. This incident will be brought up to a disciplinary committee with its due evidence, and they will be in charge of deciding an appropriate action. Until then, you will be placed on administrative leave until further notice”.

Officer Watanabe started turning red from anger, opening his mouth to speak up when a voice cut him off from the entrance of your office—a very well-known voice.

“My, my, ya heard Platoon Leader (L/N),” Hoshina leaned against the doorframe of your office, his teasing grin on display, “The Third Division doesn’t take offenses lightly, I’m afraid. Now if there’s nothin’ ya have to discuss with Platoon Leader (L/N), I’ll see ya at the disciplinary hearing”.

Hoshina wasn’t one to shoot threats directly, but there was no other way to interpret his friendly yet demanding tone. Seeing no point in refuting their superior (ironically they were just about to do that to you), both officers saluted and left your office. That left you and your childhood best friend alone.

“Now, those are quite the troublemakers, aren’t they?” Hoshina commented while shutting the door.

You scoffed. “You think? They are one misconduct away from being dishonorably discharged from duty, sir.”

“There are good ones and there are bad ones,” Hoshina shrugged, sitting on the small couch in one of the corners of the room. He made himself comfortable before turning to you once again. “And yer still with the ‘sir’ talk!”

“I’m afraid I don’t have Vice-captain privileges, sir” you counter, truthfully since your rank still wasn’t that high to be given that kind of liberties. “Either way, are you here for something, sir? I don’t remember having to report you anything”.

Hoshina brought one of his hands to his chest, acting wounded by your words. “Why? Isn’t wanting to enjoy my best friend’s company enough reason to visit ya, (Y/N) dear? Has the rank difference affected our relationship so much?”

Your heart fluttered at the use of the word relationship, although there was no other synonym to describe your bond and it definitely didn’t cover the implications you wish it did.

Once more, you pushed your feelings aside. “Not when you are in charge of running a whole military division, Vice-captain Hoshina. So, if there’s nothing I can help you with, sir, I’m afraid it’ll be my pleasure to remind you to return to your duties”.

Hoshina sighted in defeat, crossing both arms and legs while pouting (which you definitely didn’t find cute at all!). “Yer no fun, (Y/N), dear. I came to tell ya that off-duty days were posted. So ya might wanna check that out.”

You loved your job. Truly. You didn’t think that there was something more fulfilling than fighting for the safety of the country. But you, like any worker to ever exist, couldn’t deny the pleasure of rotting away in bed to forget work and the stress of military life. So, ignoring Hoshina’s snort at the speed at which you opened your email, you searched for that HR notice. Right there, in front of your very eyes, laid that spreadsheet for the month with your, and everyone’s, day off marked on the calendar. Scanning the countless names on the file, you finally landed on yours, eyes wide open in surprise.

“So,” Hoshina interrupted your slight panic, “drinks at my place or yours?”

You glared at him. “How about none, sir?”

“C’mon, (Y/N). Don’t be a bore. It’s been forever since our days have synced up like this. When will we get another chance like this, huh?

The truth is that you really wanted to spend your free days with Hoshina. He has been your friend for almost all your life, and you preferred his company over anyone’s. Nevertheless, ever since you both joined the military, far away from the expectations of both of your families, your romantic desires towards the man felt harder and harder to control, but you managed to keep them in place. For the time being.

You looked at your friend with a suspicious gaze. “With all due respect, sir, why do I feel you had something to do with this arrangement?”

Hoshina’s normally closed eyes opened in surprise for a fraction of a second, before he shot you his signature peace sign pose. “Oops, I guess I’ve been caught”.

This dude…, you thought to yourself.

“Fine,” you conceded. “My place, but you bring the booze. And I expect the expensive one, sir”.

“I can’t disappoint one of my best soldiers, Platoon Leader (L/N), can’t I?.” He saluted at you while opening the door to exit your office. “Keep the good work, (L/N), and I shall see ya rewarded”.

You rolled your eyes at him. “Good afternoon, Vice-captain Hoshina, sir.”

The man in question was about to close the door when a thought came back to him, prompting him to peek his head inside your office once more.

“Oh, one last thing,” he said, watching your gaze intensify in annoyance. “The day after tomorrow, there’s a programmed exercise with Number 10 suit. I’ll send ya a formal request for you to be there, so keep an eye on it!”

“Me?” you questioned, “Are you sure?”

“Sure as day, dear,” he answered.

“Why though, sir?”

He smiled like you had just asked him the silliest question. And, to him, it was.

“Because I trust yer eye better than anyone else’s”

And he left you there, alone in your office, with no doubt that you would keep following Hoshina Soshiro wherever he went.

Even if it went against all rational thoughts.

next chapter ➢

taglist: @hana-patata @kokoiinuts

#nobodygotyoulikehoshina #kaiju no. 8 #hoshina #soshiro hoshina #gen #narumi gen #kaiju no. 8 fanfic #hoshina x reader #kn8 x reader #narumi x reader #hoshina soshiro x reader #narumi gen x reader #hoshina smut #hoshina fluff #hoshina angst #hoshina fanfic

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jjkamochoso · 9 months ago

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Pt. 2 of Imagine… Soshiro Hoshina Finding You on the Brink of Death

Angst, Fluff

Soshiro Hoshina x gn!reader

Warnings: mentions of hospital setting/devices

You can find the all angst ridden part 1 here!

One week.

That was how long it had been since Soshiro had seen your alluring (e/c) eyes, heard your infectious laugh, blushed at your gentlest smile reserved just for him. The past 7 days of you in a coma after almost becoming a kaiju meal had been devastating for him and the rest of your teammates. You had many visitors over the hours you lied completely still on your hospital bed, but you weren’t the only unmoving person in your room. Soshiro had rarely moved an inch from your side, only getting up to go to the bathroom. He couldn’t remove himself from his seat next to your fragile body in case you woke up; he couldn’t bear the thought of you being alone in such a vulnerable state anyway.

“They’re under the best care here, Hoshina. Go get some rest,” Captain Ashiro had told him on day 3, when Soshiro was sporting dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep. He respectfully refused, and Mina knew better than to fight with him right now—he was as stubborn as he was talented with his swords. Every time the nurses came in to check your vitals, they looked upon him and his sad state of being with sorrow, feeling awful to see the man in such despair. They had taken it upon themselves to deliver meals for him since they all knew he wasn’t leaving to eat. Even if most of the time the tray sat untouched, they took it as a win when a pudding or fruit cup disappeared.

Day 5 was the hardest for Soshiro. By that point, he was delirious from staying up practically all night in case you needed something. His typed reports stopped making sense, his brain nowhere near as sharp as usual due to the fog of grief that had settled in his mind. The steady beeps of your life support machine haunted his every waking moment, a perfect symphony of the anguish he couldn’t escape. Thankfully, Kafka had heard about his vice captain’s condition and visited that night, offering to take over Soshiro’s watch in case you woke up. Soshiro was extremely reluctant at first, but he knew that you and Hibino were close; he also trusted the kind hearted man enough to know he’d be there for you in case something happened. With strong hesitation, Soshiro left your sight for the first time in 96 hours, heading to the shower. No matter how hard he scrubbed, he couldn’t wash away the feelings of guilt he harbored over your injuries.

If only I was faster, stronger… I could’ve been there sooner. Stopped the kaiju from ever sinking its disgusting teeth into you. What kind of vice captain am I? What kind of… person am I? How could I ever expect them to love me back if I can’t succeed in my one job of protecting them?

He let his tears fall freely, mixing in with the water from the shower head.

Day 7 was the point where Soshiro was just… there. He barely felt anything anymore, whether it was exhaustion, anguish, or anything else. He sat next to you like normal, gazing at your chest as it sank and rose with shallow breaths, but his eyes were glazed over in a manner reminiscent of a man without hope. The doctors didn’t have an estimated time for you to wake up. With injuries as extensive as yours, there was no telling when your body would be ready to start running on its own again. Soshiro didn’t know how to process that news; he liked seeing tangible results, and the fact that you had been hooked up to all these damn machines for so long and nothing had changed? It was pure torture to him. He found himself inching closer to you, if that were even possible, and he took hold of your hand with the softest of touches.

“I miss ya, y/n,” he whispered, bringing your hand to his lips. He was careful to not disrupt the IV as he laid a gentle kiss on your cold skin, savoring the sensation of doing what had wanted to do since he first met you all those years ago.

“Remember the promise we made to each other when we were young and dumb? Now we’re old and dumb,” he chuckled humorlessly, “and you still have to keep up your end of the bargain. You have to survive. I can’t lose you.”

He took in a deep, shaky breath. “I can’t lose you because I’m in love with you.”

It was like the world was playing a cruel joke on him—he finally garnered the courage to admit he had fallen in love, but the object of his affections wasn’t able to hear it. He let his head hang in misery as he kept your hand close to his face, eventually placing it against his cheek. He closed his eyes, wishing with all his might that you would wake up. If you died… he wouldn’t know how to move on from such a devastating blow. He knew this macabre scenario had a high probability of happening in this career field you two chose, but he always had faith in his and your abilities to stay alive. To say that faith had been shaken was the understatement of the century.

“Y/n, please. I can’t do this alone. I need ya back with me. You gotta keep fighting.”

Soshiro went to place your hand back on the bed when he swore he felt your fingers move against his own. His eyes widened in surprise as his heart started slamming against his rib cage. Was that real or just his imagination?

It happened again.

And your eyes opened.

He slammed on the call button, informing the nurses of your awakening before turning his attention back to you.

“So-soshiro,” you tried to say, but your throat couldn’t form any words.

“Shh, don’t say anything, darling, I’m right here. Always have been, always will be.”

A grin swirled with anxiety and relief was present on his lips as he looked at you.

After a few hours of tests, doctors checking up on you, and small moments to collect your thoughts, you were finally able to form coherent sentences.

“You sat here the whole time? Now I feel bad,” you said, a small frown gracing your features.

“Don’t feel bad. I didn’t want you to be alone, that’s all,” Soshiro told you, nervously scratching at the back of his neck. “Did you… happen to hear anything I was saying before you woke up?”

“What, like how we’re old and dumb and that you’re in love with me?” you said, trying your best not to laugh at his shocked expression.

“Huh? You actually did hear me? I thought that only happened in movies!” he whined, his cheeks tinged with red.

“No reason to be embarrassed, Soshiro. I didn’t know how to tell you but I’m in love with you, too. I have been for a very long time.”

Soshiro was looking upon you like you had descended directly from the heavens, his eyes gleaming with unbridled joy as his fingertips danced over your arm, tracing shapes in an intimate, comforting manner.

“I‘ve been so worried about ya, sweetheart, but now that you’re back with me, it’s like I can breathe again.”

You relished in the calm quiet of the room, basking in Soshiro’s loving presence. He was exactly the driving force behind you willing your body to wake up. You could never leave him to walk this world alone.

“I also felt you kissing my hand,” you said after a long bout of silence. “That was very sweet of you.”

“Guess all I had to do was give ya true love’s kiss to wake up?” he joked, his little fangs peeking out of his lazy grin.

“I’m looking forward to my real kiss when I get out of the hospital,” you replied, attempting to wink at him.

He leaned his face over yours, his breath leaving goosebumps in its wake. “If you want, I can give you a preview of it right now.”

You felt your pulse quicken and apparently so did the heart rate monitor you were hooked up to; the machine started beeping, alerting that your numbers were abnormal.

Soshiro kissed your forehead before sitting down again, smirking. “Do I make ya nervous?”

Now it was your turn to blush. “Watch it Hoshina, or I’ll have you admitted into the bed next to me.”

Soshiro burst out in his trademark laugh, grabbing at his stomach and wiping away the tears forming in his eyes. You could be given all the medicine known to man but nothing could make you feel better than the promise of being loved by the easily amused violet haired man who will never leave your side.

#soshiro hoshina fluff #soshiro hoshina x reader #hoshina soshiro x reader #soshiro hoshina #kaiju no 8 x reader #kaiju no. 8 #kn8 x reader #soshiro hoshina x reader fluff #soshiro hoshina angst

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ghostlynightpanda · 1 month ago

Note

Can I please request a reader with Hoshina from Kaiju No.8 and the reader gets injured when on a mission? And Hoshina freaks out and gets scared and confesses?

Thank you for writing, I hope you have a great day! <3

The Blade That Protects You

English is not my first language, so if you find mistakes, feel free to contact me!

Synopsis: Hoshina never lets himself think about love—it was always duty first. But when he sees you injured in battle, he realizes that, for the first time, someone is more important than his mission.

Warnings/content: Hoshina Soshiro x fem!reader, 3.707 words

Hoshina Soshiro was a man defined by his duty. The Vice-Commander of the Defense Force, he was a towering figure, known for his sharp instincts and even sharper blade. His calm demeanor and precise movements in battle had earned him the respect of his comrades, and his unwavering commitment to protecting humanity was beyond question. He was no stranger to loss, and he'd learned long ago that emotions had no place on the battlefield.

And yet, no matter how much he told himself it was all just part of the job, there was one person who seemed to find a way into the cracks of his armor.

You.

From the first time you'd been assigned to his team, there was something about your presence that unsettled him. You were strong, capable, and had a way of understanding him without words—something he'd never known he needed. But it also made things harder. When you smiled at him after a successful mission, or when your eyes met his across a crowded room, he couldn't ignore the strange tug in his chest. But Hoshina was determined to keep his focus, even if it meant keeping his distance.

Love had no place in the world they lived in. The Kaijus attacked without warning, destroying cities and taking lives. There was no room for feelings in a war that demanded everything, not even for someone as important to him as you.

But he couldn't deny it anymore.

As you trained side by side, fought together in every battle, the quiet affection he felt for you grew stronger. And every time he saw you walk away unscathed, part of him relaxed—just a little. He wouldn't admit it to himself, but the thought of losing you... it terrified him. He couldn't protect everyone, but you—he couldn't lose you.

Still, he kept his distance, unwilling to allow any weakness to compromise his focus. Until that day.

The mission was clear: a Kaiju had been sighted near a small village, and the Defense Force needed to neutralize it before it could cause any further destruction. As always, Hoshina was calm, calculated, and focused, his mind running through the plans for the attack. His team was ready, including you, his most trusted and capable comrade. You'd been by his side through countless missions, and today was no different. The two of you worked in perfect sync, your movements sharp, your timing flawless.

The streets of the village were eerily quiet as the two of you led the charge. Hoshina's blades gleamed in the daylight, and you were right beside him, every step in sync as you closed in on the Kaiju's location. The air was thick with anticipation.

As they approached the Kaiju's known position, the sense of calm that usually filled Hoshina's chest began to flicker. There was something… off about this mission. It wasn't just the nagging sense of danger that came with every battle—it was something else, something he couldn't quite place. Still, he didn't let it show. He couldn't afford to.

The ground suddenly shuddered, followed by the deafening roar of the Kaiju as it erupted from behind a building. It was bigger than expected—a towering, monstrous creature that crushed the earth beneath its weight. The villagers screamed and scattered, but Hoshina and his team immediately jumped into action.

The fight was intense. The Kaiju was fast, its massive limbs swinging with terrifying force. But Hoshina's training had prepared him for this. He fought with precision, cutting down the beast's appendages with practiced ease. Yet, in the chaos, something went wrong.

A second Kaiju appeared—this one much smaller, but just as deadly. It ambushed the group from the opposite direction, catching everyone off guard.

Hoshina's heart skipped a beat as he heard a shout—a familiar voice.

You.

He whipped his head around, eyes wide with realization as he saw you standing in front of a group of civilians, your back turned to the second Kaiju. You were trying to shield them, but you hadn't noticed the threat behind you until it was too late. The Kaiju lunged, its massive claws outstretched, ready to strike.

"No!" Hoshina shouted, but it was too late. In one swift motion, you threw yourself between the Kaiju and the civilians, taking the hit.

His heart stopped.

Time seemed to slow as he watched you stagger back, blood spilling from your side. His breath caught in his throat, a cold panic gripping him. You fell to your knees, your vision blurred from the pain, but your hands still gripped your weapon, desperate to protect those who couldn't protect themselves.

And just like that, everything else—the Kaiju, the battle, the mission—faded away. Hoshina didn't think. His instincts took over, and he was charging forward, faster than he'd ever moved before, his blade cutting through anything in his path.

The world blurred as he reached you. In the blink of an eye, the second Kaiju fell to the ground in a heap, its body torn apart by Hoshina's precise strikes. But none of that mattered anymore. His focus was solely on you.

He reached your side, breathless, and dropped to his knees beside you. His hands pressed against the wound in your side, trying desperately to stop the blood from spilling out.

"Stay with me," he said, his voice more frantic than he ever let on. "Don't you dare close your eyes. Not now. Not like this."

Your breathing was shallow, each inhale ragged as you forced a weak smile, trying to reassure him, but the blood loss was too much. You reached for his hand, your fingers trembling.

"I'm fine… I'll be okay," you whispered, but he could see the pain in your eyes. Your words were a lie, and you both knew it.

Hoshina's heart thudded painfully in his chest as he tightened his grip on your hand. He wanted to shout, to scream at you for being so reckless, but instead, his voice broke with something more raw, more desperate.

"Why did you—?!" he started, his tone harsh, but the words failed him. All that came out was a ragged breath. He didn't know what to say, how to express the panic and the fear clawing at his chest.

You tried to laugh, but it turned into a cough, blood staining your lips. "I couldn't just let them die…" you trailed off, but your voice was soft, distant.

His eyes were wide as he desperately looked around, knowing that the medics couldn't get here fast enough. This wasn't how it was supposed to end. He wasn't supposed to feel like this—so completely helpless. The world around him suddenly felt like a blur, the battle raging on as if it didn't matter.

Everything in him screamed to protect you, to keep you safe, but he had failed. He had failed to protect you.

He didn't know when it had happened. He didn't know when he had started caring about you this much—but now, as he held you in his arms, his mind raced with one undeniable truth:

He couldn't lose you.

The world around Hoshina felt like it was collapsing. His focus had narrowed down to just one thing: you. Nothing else mattered—not the Kaiju, not the blood-soaked battlefield, not the frantic orders being barked over his communicator. It was just you, lying in his arms, barely clinging to consciousness as your breathing grew shallower by the second.

"Stay with me," he repeated, his voice low, almost desperate. His hand pressed harder against your side, trying in vain to slow the bleeding, but it was no use. The blood kept flowing. You could feel it too—your body growing weaker with every heartbeat.

Your hand trembled in his, and you gave him a faint, almost apologetic smile. "I'll be okay… It's not that bad…"

But you both knew that wasn't true. His eyes searched your face, looking for any sign that you were truly alright, but all he saw was the faint trace of pain in your expression and the weariness creeping in around your eyes.

"No," Hoshina said hoarsely, his voice rough with emotion. His throat constricted as he fought back the panic. "This isn't... You're not okay. You're not supposed to be like this. Not... not like this." His voice cracked at the end, a stark break in the calm façade he worked so hard to maintain.

You tried to sit up, but Hoshina's hand on your chest stopped you, firm but gentle. "Don't. You need to stay still." His tone was more commanding than ever, but his eyes, normally steely and stoic, were full of vulnerability. It was a side of him you rarely saw, and it made your chest tighten.

"You're scaring me," he added, voice barely above a whisper. His eyes were wide with something unrecognizable—fear. Pure, unfiltered fear. "I—" He paused, as if the words were caught in his throat, struggling to break free. "I can't lose you."

You blinked at him, unsure if you'd heard him correctly. His usual confident, slightly teasing demeanor had completely fallen away, leaving only raw emotion in its place. He looked down at you with eyes that were no longer the calculated, controlled gaze of a warrior, but the gaze of a man who had lost himself in a moment of sheer terror.

You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. It was as if his admission had taken all the words away from you.

But it was all so clear now. That strange, tight knot in your chest whenever he was near—the way your heart raced a little faster than it should when his eyes lingered just a little too long. You'd seen the way he kept his distance, the way he hid his feelings behind a wall of duty. You'd always assumed it was just the way he was, just part of the persona he'd built. But now, you could see the truth in his eyes.

You tried to lift a hand, weakly cupping his face, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips. "Hoshina…" you whispered, your voice raspy. "You're… you're not going to lose me."

He let out a shuddering breath at your touch, his entire body tense with fear. "I—" His voice caught in his throat, and he closed his eyes, trying to steady himself. "I've seen too many people die," he admitted, his voice barely audible. "I couldn't—" His words faltered, a tear slipping past his stoic defenses, but he quickly wiped it away, cursing under his breath.

You reached up with your other hand, brushing your thumb against his cheek. "You don't have to face this alone, Hoshina."

He looked at you then—really looked at you—and for a moment, it seemed like the entire world had slowed. He felt something shift inside him, something he couldn't explain. His protective instinct had always been there, but this—this was something different. Something more powerful, something that gripped him in a way he couldn't control.

In that moment, Hoshina realized he had been fooling himself all along. It wasn't just about duty. It wasn't just about protecting the people he cared about or fighting against the Kaiju. He had been terrified of letting anyone close, terrified of loving someone because it meant he could lose them. But now, holding you in his arms, knowing how much he needed you, he understood.

He needed you, more than he ever wanted to admit.

The medics arrived just in time, and Hoshina reluctantly allowed them to take over. As they moved you onto a stretcher, he stood frozen, watching with his arms still outstretched toward you, as if he could somehow keep you from slipping away.

But you looked at him, your eyes meeting his once more, a faint, comforting smile tugging at the corner of your lips. "I'm going to be okay, Hoshina," you whispered, and even though you were still pale, still weak, you managed to say it with all the conviction you could muster. "I promise."

He didn't reply, but his heart, which had been clenched tightly in fear just moments ago, slowly began to ease.

The battle had ended, but the war within Hoshina was far from over.

The medics had worked quickly, stabilizing you before rushing you to the base's infirmary. Hoshina had wanted to go with you, but he'd been stopped at the door—his commanding officer Mina Ashiro had insisted that he take a moment to recover, to tend to his own wounds, but he hadn't heard a word she'd said. All he could think about was you. Was it enough? Had they saved you?

He paced back and forth outside the infirmary, his usual calm demeanor gone. His hands were trembling, not from fatigue, but from the overwhelming weight of what had just happened. What if you hadn't made it? The thought was enough to send a cold shiver down his spine.

Minutes felt like hours.

When the door finally opened, his breath caught in his throat. You stood there, looking pale but alive. Your side was wrapped in bandages, but your eyes—your eyes were still sharp, still focused, and that alone was enough to ease the storm brewing in his chest.

You met his gaze, your lips curving into a tired smile. "Told you I'd be okay," you said, your voice still a little hoarse but carrying a lightness that Hoshina couldn't ignore.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. The weight of the day hung between you like a fragile thread, but Hoshina couldn't hold it in any longer. His heart still hammered in his chest, his chest tight with the lingering fear of losing you.

He stepped toward you, the words slipping out before he could stop them. "Don't ever do that again," he said, his voice low but full of quiet intensity. His hand reached for yours, fingers brushing against yours with a gentleness that was rare for him. "Don't you ever—" he stopped himself, taking a shaky breath. "You can't just throw your life away like that."

His words were laced with a desperation that you hadn't seen before. It was as if he was speaking from a place deep inside himself that he had never allowed to show—his fears, his worries, his need to protect you.

You took a small step forward, closing the distance between you. "I don't think I'm the one who's been reckless, Hoshina," you said softly. Your gaze softened as you reached up, touching his face gently with your hand. "You've been holding yourself back for too long."

Hoshina flinched at your touch, his eyes flicking down to where your hand rested against his cheek. The warmth of your touch made his pulse race, but there was something else too—something he hadn't expected. It was the sense of comfort, of belonging, and it was something that he had tried to push away for so long.

"I don't want to lose you," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper, the words almost as if he was afraid of speaking them out loud. "I can't… I can't keep pretending that I don't care. You—" he broke off, exhaling slowly as if the admission had drained him completely.

For a brief moment, there was silence. You stared at him, eyes soft and understanding. Then you smiled, that familiar warmth reaching your eyes. "You don't have to pretend anymore, Hoshina."

He swallowed hard, his eyes never leaving yours. His heart beat loudly in his chest, and the weight of his own emotions felt like it was about to crush him. But in that moment, he didn't care. He didn't care about the war, the missions, or the responsibilities that had always kept him distant from everyone else.

All he cared about was you.

You could see the uncertainty in his eyes, the lingering doubt that maybe this was all too much, too fast. You stepped closer, gently cupping his face in your hands, guiding him to look at you. "It's okay. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

Hoshina felt his chest tighten as the rush of relief washed over him. He couldn't help but lean into your touch, his hand slowly coming up to rest over yours, his thumb brushing against the back of your hand.

"You're not going to leave me," he repeated softly, almost as if testing the words, tasting the promise they carried.

You shook your head gently, your voice soft but certain. "I'm not going anywhere."

For the first time in a long while, Hoshina allowed himself to truly relax. It wasn't all fixed. There were still battles ahead, still scars to heal, but for now, he allowed himself to believe in the quiet comfort of your words.

He wasn't alone anymore. And maybe that was enough—for now.

The tension between you two slowly ebbed, the space between you shrinking as you stood there in the infirmary. The faint hum of the lights and the distant sounds of the base were the only noise, but it felt like the world had quieted around you both. In the midst of everything—the war, the losses, the dangers—the two of you had found a small, fragile moment of peace.

Hoshina couldn't stop looking at you. His eyes traced the curve of your face, the way your hair fell around your shoulders, the way your lips curved into a smile despite the pain you'd just been through. You were still here, standing in front of him, and that was more than he could've asked for.

His heart, still racing from the events of the day, slowly began to settle as he absorbed the truth that you were alive, that he hadn't lost you, but there was still something weighing on him. Something that had been gnawing at him ever since that battle. Something he couldn't run from any longer.

The air between you felt thick now, charged with the unsaid words that had been building for so long. His fingers twitched at his sides, longing to reach for you again, but there was something more pressing—something inside him that was finally pushing him to speak.

He let out a shaky breath, his heart pounding again, louder this time. His gaze dropped for a moment as his hand rubbed the back of his neck, the action betraying his nervousness. You noticed, and it made you smile a little. It was rare for Hoshina to show this kind of vulnerability. For all his strength, for all his calm in the face of danger, this was different. This was him being human.

"I… I've never been good with words," Hoshina started, his voice rough. He cleared his throat and looked back up at you, locking his gaze with yours. "I've spent so long pushing people away, pretending I didn't care, thinking it would be easier that way." His eyes softened, a vulnerability in them that only you could see. "But I can't keep doing that. Not with you."

You tilted your head slightly, waiting for him to continue.

"You're important to me," he said, his words coming out slow and deliberate, like he was forcing himself to accept them. "More than I ever realized. When I saw you… when I thought I'd lost you…" He trailed off, his breath catching. He stared at you, the depth of his feelings laid bare in the silence between you two. "I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I—I don't want to lose you."

Your heart swelled, hearing the rawness in his voice. This was Hoshina, the man who had always been so composed, so focused, but here he was, completely open, completely unguarded. And it was all for you.

You stepped closer to him, your voice soft and tender. "Hoshina..."

He closed his eyes for a moment, his hands clenched at his sides as if fighting the urge to reach out for you. The words were there, burning at the back of his throat, but it felt so overwhelming. Could he really say it out loud? Could he put those feelings into words?

When he opened his eyes again, they were softer, more vulnerable than you'd ever seen. He took a step closer to you, and for the first time, the distance between you wasn't one of duty or fear—it was one of connection. He took a deep breath, his voice steady but full of emotion.

"I love you."

The words hung in the air, raw and unpolished but sincere. There was no hesitation this time, no wall he had to break through. He didn't need to hide anymore. He had said it. And for the first time, Hoshina felt light. The weight of the years spent running from his feelings lifted, and he stood there, waiting for your response with nothing but sincerity in his eyes.

You stood there in shock for just a second, the depth of his words sinking in. And then you smiled. It wasn't a quiet smile or a gentle one—it was something more profound, something that filled the space between you two, something that told him everything he needed to know.

"I love you too," you whispered, and it was as if the world had suddenly snapped back into focus.

Hoshina let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. The tension in his body finally dissolved as his hand reached out to take yours, his fingers intertwining with yours. For once, there was no doubt, no fear, just you and him—no more walls, no more barriers.

"I won't let you go," he said quietly, his thumb gently brushing against the back of your hand. "I'll protect you. No matter what."

You nodded, squeezing his hand in return. "I'll be right here," you replied softly. "With you. Always."

The confession wasn't just a declaration of love—it was a promise. A promise that no matter the battles, no matter the odds, you would face them together.

And for the first time in a long time, Hoshina believed in something beyond the fight. He believed in you. He believed in this.

Masterlist

#kaiju number 8 #kaiju no. 8 #soshiro hoshina #hoshina soshiro x reader #vice captain hoshina #hoshina soshiro angst #hoshina soshiro fluff

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