#sorta happened. it's making me so so sad. like yeah. lol im adapting back to a life that makes sense. after fully beginning to adjust to the

[juleteinthrum]

I'm sad today.

[theropoda]

3, 4, 6-8, 11, 13-17, 19-22, 26-30 uwu

WOO LAD THAT’S A LOT THANK U!!! this got long and i wrote an essay or two LOL so im putting it under a readmore!

3: Best game you’ve ever played? WEEEELLLL.......let me preface this with two things: one, i am a FAKE GAMER as in my laptop is not at all made for gaming, it’s piss poor, so a big chunk of games i’m interested in is because i watched a playthrough of them lol. i have a 3ds but only 3 games on it (animal crossing new leaf, tomodachi life, nintedogs & cats). second, i’m very bad at choosing favorites of things.....BUUUUT .....i choooooose, in no particular order, OFF, pigeonetics, elder scrolls oblivion, pathologic classic HD!! i’m more than likely forgetting a few though, so sorry about that

4: Worst game you’ve ever played? as i said above, cannot choose favorites, neither can i choose whatever the opposite of favorites is but...uhh, does lif even count as a game? like lif, the stupid little furry flash game i remember playing on some shady website. it was surprisingly very active with a BUNCH of people there but i kept dying like every 5 seconds....AWFUL

6: A game that’s changed you the most? WELL define Changed.....ummm aha first thing that comes to mind is OFF. it’s one of those things where you never knew you wanted something so fucking bad until you saw it--and it’s like that for me. i NEVER knew i loved that odd, surreal, colorful, “looks playful and simple in some parts but incredibly violent and unnerving in other parts” aesthetic til i played it. like aesthetically i love that game to BITS and something about it just stuck with me til the end of time.

later in life (meaning, past year or so) it changed me because it taught me a lesson about storytelling and creative endeavors. a very useful lesson. which is: things don’t really need to have a meaning. stories, art, music, writing, whatnot, while it CAN be deep and meaningful, while you CAN use it as a way to communicate with the world about all kinds of heartfelt things, it can also be...nothing, really.

once i, as usual, got ridiculously overwhelmingly sad about small things. specifically seeing other people around me come up with all kinds of deep and meaningful characters and stories, sometimes putting them into webcomics or writings of theirs, and they were all so well-thought out and detailed and what i envied most was people put a lot of themselves and their experiences into them, venting and coping through them, whilst also making these larger-than-life grandiose complex stories and worlds and so on and so forth.

it made me look at my own ideas and get mad/frustrated at how shallow they were. but then i remembered OFF and i felt better because Fun Fact, mortis ghost has a now-abandoned dA account and if you go through the comment section on his profile, he answers a lot of fan questions and he mentions several times that the game didn’t really have a “meaning”, it didn’t really have a “deeper story” or moral or anything, really. i’m paraphrasing this but i vividly remember him saying “i wanted to make a game, so i did”.

that made me feel a lot better because it made me realise that sometimes art--especially stories, in my case-- doesn’t NEED to be DEEP or have MEANING...sometimes it can just BE!!!! sometimes it really can just be all about AESTHETICS like who GIVES a shit if there’s a hidden meaning if you take the first letter of all of your characters’ names and put them backwards, sometimes all that matters is if they just VIBE with you y’know....

yume nikki is similar in this regard bc that game doesn’t have any story other than “collect egg” and yet it’s so impactful. that game doesn’t have a story or meaning it just IS........ :) GOD THATS SO LONG IM SORRY ABOUT THAT but yeah. funny violent ghostbusting baseball man is a game that changed me :)

7: A game you’ll never forget? OFF AGAIN LOL,,, it’s just so memorable because of how unique it is. visuals, soundtrack, story, everything is so memorable. unforgettable. oh god you can tell how much i love this damn game can’t you

8: Best soundtrack? yakuza 0, OFF, there is a picture (another game by mortis ghost, again composed by alias conrad coldwood who also composed OFF), pigeonetics (the entire soundtrack of which is here), jojo’s bizarre adventure all star battle and eyes of heaven, silent hill 2 & 3, undertale....probably forgetting more but all of these...earcandy

11: Hardest game you’ve played? i am a shitty gamer so this is Most games i’ve played lol!! but uhh..well you see. hardest game i remember playing as of recent is pathologic classic hd in which it’s...not only hard to understand what any character is saying at any given time lol but also, i don’t think it’s HARD it’s just...you need to focus. you REALLY need to fucking focus and pay attention in this game. so i wouldn’t say its HARD, but i’m only putting this here bc it’s in recent memory.

i say recent memory because the true answer is susceptible to “yeah, but now you’re older, it must not be so hard.” as in if i played it now i think i’d have a way easier time. but when i was around....10-12 years old i had several ps3 video game adaptations of animated movies and i had SUCH a fucking hard time with them. g-force, bolt and up in particular were fucking HARD. like genuinely, the hardest time i had EVER had in my live playing video games is tied to these three fucking games. g-force and bolt ESPECIALLY. one particular level in bolt took both me AND my sister around a year to fucking finish.

again, i was baby, so i bet i’d have a much easier time with them now that i’m 17. but for now, in my experience, bolt and g-force for the ps3 were harder than pathologic classic. i think icepick lodge should take a few notes for them for pathologic 2.

13: A game you were the most excited for when it wasn’t released yet? STREETS OF KAMUROCHO...i spent the entire day of its release anticipating its launch lol

14: A game you think would be cool if it had voice acting? hmm..most games i like and know about do have voice acting so i dunno....i guess it would’ve been kind of cool if morrowind had like, full proper voice acting. but i can understand why it only voice acted things like greetings and battle insults because GOD that game is SO...complicated...and as a result, the conversations are so lengthy and text-full. playing morrowind is really like a goddamn book! if it was voice acted i’m sure all that information would have to be shortened bc i know no one is going to fucking voice act two whole paragraphs

15: Which two games do you think would make an awesome crossover? pigeonetics and yakuza in which instead of being about the criminal underworld it’s about shady and unethical pigeon clubs, breeding, racing, etc etc...a lot of illegal shit does happen in the world of pigeons especially when it comes to racing; prized racers have been kidnapped and held for ransom before. and then there’s Avian Cucking: The Sport, where people breed the sexiest pigeons (horseman thief pouters), release them outside to seduce other people’s sexy pigeons, and bring them back and keep ‘em, drama ensues. will kiryu ever escape his past as a professional pigeon-napper, and find solace in his new life as a pigeon hobbyist? find out now by playing YACOOZA......

JOKES ASIDES i don’t know i really don’t....umm, pigeonetics and animal crossing somehow?? :O... like, instead of managing your own town it’s managing your own loft!...orrrr, the jojo games (all star battle & eyes of heaven) with yakuza, because i think they’re somewhat similar because they’re both haha Wacky Silly AND serious over the top fighty-fighting.....or maybe a crossover with OFF and discover my body, which, despite being an incredibly short and obscure indie game i still love to bits for what it’s worth. WAIT ANIMAL CROSSING AND MINECRAFT THAT WOULD FUCK SO HARD OH MY GOD

16: Character you’ve hated most? From what game? i can’t think of any character i like, HATE...with a burning passion.. there are a few i dislike or have a complicated relationship with though.. i’m not interested in the series anymore but ouma from drv3...i’ll admit that he is a bit fun sometimes, especially in the very early beginning he’s a likeable brat but as the game progresses he becomes more irritating than anything and i have an issue with him in regards to writing, despite the fact that i have never been awake in any english class ever lol. it’s too long to put in this already long post but i’ll keep it at that. if you like him, well, good for you for finding joy in something i couldn’t! but he just doesn’t do it for me.

AH I JUST REMEMBERED....MINE......FROM YAKUZA 3....maybe i’d change my mind if i watched a playthrough of y3 again, because i think you always absorb something better on your second watch (tho i honestly Dont have the energy to do that all over again, the yakuza games are too fucking long), but i really hate his writing. spoilers for y3 but, i think mine’s writing, alongside other things in the game, were super messy...and a big part of why i hate him is that not only is he one of those “could’ve had great potential but fell flat” sorta guys but also his love for daigo is seen as some fans as good gay rep and i?????/.............um....WELL let’s just say that, i think people nowadays will see any gay character ever in any circumstance and say it’s good gay rep just based off the fact that A Gay Character exists....he was Not, good gay rep imo....he was not, let alone, Good. .........

17: What game do you never tell people you play? can’t think of any games i wouldn’t tell people i play.. idk exactly what this question’s asking. does it mean what game you don’t tell ppl you play bc you’re embarrassed about it...? i’m not very embarrassed by any of them. the only thing that comes close, i guess, is uhh lioden and wolvden. i’ve only interacted with those communities a LITTLE TINY WEE BIT, yet of what i’ve seen it’s a goddamn dumpster fire and i’d never want to be associated with them lol

19: Which game do you think deserves a revival? i’m well aware it’ll never happen and that it’s more a wet dream than anything but...PT/silent hills..... on a more realistic/”could happen” note, PIGEONETICS!!!! SERIOUSLY, it’s an amazing game about amazing animals and it teaches genetics in a very simplified and efficient way!! genetics is SO hard for me to understand, i fucking hated studying it but this game really helped me understand how it works AND its super engaging and interesting!! HOWEVER, of all the pigeon genes we know of, only a handful were seen in pigeonetics and i’d LOVE a sequel that employs new game mechanics AND new genes!! i wanna learn about bronze and stencil genes! i wanna learn about phenotypes like grizzled and pied!!! genes like sooty and dirty!!! @ UNIVERSITY OF UTAH GENETICS DEPARTMENT PLEASE IM BEGIGNG YOU

20: What was the first video game you ever played? earliest memories of Gaming involves me at my aunt’s house playing two games: super mario brothers and some kind of trapeze game. i don’t remember anything else though

21: How old were you when you first played a video game? i can’t remember but i must’ve been REAL tiny.... 6-9 years, maybe??

22: If you could immerse yourself in any game for one day, which game would it be? What would you do? immerse myself meaning go into their world...? huh....on one hand i’d like to go in the world of yakuza 0 to play in the arcades and do whore related activities but i’d also love to go into the world of animal crossing (and i’m pretty sure i’d be some sort of generic dromaeosaurid in that game!!) and shop, chat with villagers, do chores for them, go fishing, bug hunting, eat delicious fucking food like the apples mangos peaches cherries etc etc.....OH AND FOSSIL HUNTING THAT’S THE BEST PART!! though it would definetly be a little weird, to be a little dinosaur and finding a fossil of a...little dinosaur....i guess the non-sentient species went extinct and the dinosaur i am is some kind of, descendant of a sapient non-avian dinosaur that survived the k-pg extinction event...oh but who cares all i want is a cool little ambulocetus fossil or something. and some cherry pie :)

26: Handheld or console? my old ps3 just went kaput one day years ago so i haven’t used it in years so i can’t compare well... but i’d say handheld, because it lets me like DO stuff more...would love to get a console one day, a ps4 maybe but i’m kinda worried it’ll make me stay in one room all day wasting away my time when there’s other stuff i can do, y’know? but something handheld like my 3ds, on the other hand...i can do stuff with it. i can take it to my room and play it between breaks i take as i clean the room and fold my clothes, i can watch something on the tv and play the game during ad breaks, i can take it outside too if it has charge to last me a while! so....handheld i guess

27: Has there ever been a moment that has made you cry? yakuza 0 and undertale in particular have ALMOST made me fucking bawl with many of its moments....yakuza 0 especially, after that Fucking Ending i had trouble sleeping because oh my fucking god. video game people SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

28: Which character’s clothes do you wish you owned the most?

29:  Which is more important, gameplay or story? HMMM....well, if i were to play a game with a shitty story but really good and fun gameplay i’d probably continue playing it for the gameplay. but if i played a game with shitty gameplay but an interesting story, there is a chance i’d play it more for the sake of the story but also i might just quite and see the rest of the story on youtube or something. i’m more likely to go through a boring story for fun gameplay than go through boring gameplay for an interesting story, so i guess gameplay is more important to me....that is, WHEN i actually own and play a game as opposed to when i just watch someone play a game because i don’t own the game but wanna know abt the story lol

30: A game that hasn’t been localized in your country that you think should be localized? i have no idea how video game localization really works....but i assume localizing a game in india would mean something like, removing content according to cultural norm and also somehow translating it into the 22 official languages..? or just two or three language if it’s tied to a particular state, which seems way more doable. i honestly have no idea? i’ve never interacted w the indian gaming community that much to be honest, all i know of it is of the video games i’ve seen sold in some game stores and a few whispers about like solid snake or whoever from my school’s cafeteria....the most popular games here, to my knowledge, are those very streamable games like fortnite and PUBG and your call of duties and whatnot. those generic shooters. and even then, that honestly isn’t the “indian” gaming community bc this country is so FUCKHUGE, it’s just tamil nadu. one state.

soooo, according to what little i know of gaming interests in where i live, i don’t think any of the games i like should be localized here bc i don’t really think there’s an audience for it as far as i can tell :( maybe animal crossing? it’s a fun little games for all ages and i think it has a chance of becoming popular here, so maybe that is worth a shot! but i can’t think of any other game that i like that really has an audience here (other than Me lol)

[vickie-believe]

Soooo. Yeah. Ahem. This might be a long post but I’m gonna just put a read more after a point.

I redesigned an OC from last year. And this is a major change (I have her old design in one of my art dumps). And it isn’t just that, I did more for her in both writing and character development. I also have more art stuff I did on her past self but gonna put that as a separate post.

Anyhow, this is Mad Jack, the Wild Dog. My Dying Light 30-year-old-plus crazy  OC with a sorta like Chloe Frazer, Rachel from Animorphs and Junkrat mash personality, I created for my fanfic, The Descent.

And you can see a year between different styles, levels of art and all that. So I wanna say that no matter how many years, you’ll get even better. You’ll learn new tricks and techniques, new things every day by keeping at your passion. You’ll get better. Any form you did whether simple, stick-man, anything is still a good art because you’re doing it - you’re not stopping because someone says it’s bad, you’re doing it for yourself. And you keep going and seeing the improvements that prove those people, you can create something awesome. 

So keep drawing. There’s absolutely no stopping, not even for me. I’m still going to improve myself. 

Now then, more on the character. Boring stuff. X’D

SOOOO, the story behind this character creation. I really enjoy Dying Light and I wish the best and all for Techland on their release with Dying Light 2 (and PLEASE GOD BRING THE BROTHER TWINS BACK so that my friend can go “shiiiiit!” X’D I really mean it! He hates them! AHAHAHAHA) and the Following. It was thanks to the ending that got me to start a writing about what happens to Kyle Crane days after the ending. Which means he becomes a sentient zombie in the fic.

What got me into making Mad Jack was two things: one is I realized Crane would need a middleman because you know, he would kill people uncontrollably (and that person needs to be mad enough to even stick with infected Crane) and two, three characters in Dying Light got me thinking of Jack as a common person between them. 

So yeah. Fic’s summary is Crane’s back, he meets an ex-kickboxer from the Outskirts of Harran in the middle of a city named Scanderoon and he learns she and a group called the Ravs are trying to find out why the virus recently spiked up with new mutations, affecting the zombies and the survivors, in hopes that the virus isn’t adapting too fast for a cure to beat it. 

Now the read-more cuz I don’t want you ppl seeing me as a rambling idiot.

Alright. Let’s get to the meat. So for one, when I first thought of the fic, I was thinking Crane is, of course, the main protagonist but with a few elements: he’s kinda like the Mother (sorta, I need to make his character design now lol) but as a Night Hunter sort and would still be himself. His character development would be on the verge of struggle and insanity between himself and his other self. So I couldn’t see himself being able to fully control himself without someone helping him, regardless how strong his willpower is after going through everything. So he needed someone to keep him in his grips. Jack in my fic is sorta of a red-herring first protagonist but is actually a  deuteragonist.

There’s also another point that I wanted to tackle his struggles from the main game, that meeting someone who knew the people he met and learning they’re gone would be the ultimate, powerful and bittersweet development for him. Which is about the three persons I said earlier that is what I based around for Jack.

So the three people were Harris Brecken, Jade and Rahim Aldemir. When I first played the game, I always found it strange how protective Brecken was to both of them which made me wonder if they had a backstory before the outbreak. Sure, many could say, Rahim was one of Brecken’s students or Rais was after the Scorpion before Crane came into the picture. A lot of theories anyone of us could think of. I still felt like there was someone in their lives that crossed paths. The first person I went brainstorming more on was Jade and her kickboxing career.

I made Jack, aka Mad Jack, as Jade’s previous rival and opponent for the last martial arts championship. The Scorpion versus the Wild Dog. The professional 3-year world champion versus the rising star until Jade won and Jack retired. And since their first meeting, the two kids have been friends with her with Jack being that kinda guardian looking out for them. I made Harris be, surprisingly, Jack as that unwanted cousin who you both love and hate a lot. Cough. But with whatever happened to all of them in the past gave me a better structure of why Brecken would care more about the kids if they knew someone who cared about them. Not directly but enough that Brecken wouldn’t tell his cousin they’re gone.

An incident did also cause a bit of friction from Jade’s victory, and that’s something I’ll reveal in my fic later on. And it also did change Jack a lot. The current Jack is more ballistic, unhinged, daring, hungry for a fight and uh...kinda scary the more I describe her now that I think of it. She’s still a good person (sorta) who helps those in need because she’s used to it before, being a legend that inspired people in the past. I even had a small idea that she sings a lullaby to calm the Screamers or infected children before killing them. She thinks of wild ideas that don’t often go the way she wants, a trait Rahim picked up, which is what made him decide to blow up the nest. Go Wild or don’t, which is one thing why those two connected well in the past. Jack’s an unlikely character on the search for why the virus had a kickstarter and being Crane’s hired wingman. 

Moreover, it’s a slow trust building between these two. Jack’s philosophy is sorta kinda like Rais and Crane can see that in her. There are also secrets she has that will put that trust to the test but it won’t just be her but Crane testing that trust with his own sins.

What makes this fic so interesting to me the more I write isn’t just Crane’s constant regret that he has to work with this loony woman in a desperate hope of finding that cure and the funny banter development between a sane zombie and a crazy human but the fact Crane’s past will catch up to him and Jack will learn about Jade and Rahim’s fates. And it’s not just Jack herself but others he’ll learn had some connection to someone in Harran. And that moment he can’t keep the lies in anymore and has to tell Jack the truth, that will be something powerful and heartbreaking - that he met a person who knew them and has to give the grim news they’re gone. Because no one had told Jack yet. What’s more, this will reflect on Jack too - that her influence on the two kids was what got them killed like her way of thinking in going big for Rahim and her philosophy in kickboxing got Jade to sacrifice herself.

From there, well, there’s more I have up my sleeve. And hopefully not break these two in the process. :Y

I made Jack for a long of reasons but the one main thing is, I realized after everything Crane’s gone, he really needed someone, an emotional pillar of support for sure. And he hasn’t had that the entire time in Dying Light or the Following - everyone sought him as a hero and never questioned it. Which...I kinda thought was a little sad. So yeah, I made Mad Jack - someone who had fallen from grace and accepted her current self, be that dog of Harran who fully takes in the fact the whole world has gone to hell and has pulled off the chains. Jack’s history, which some parts I won’t go into details, sorta reflects his that she had done a lot and sacrificed a lot before and during the outbreak came. And with Crane being stuck as a monster for good with moments of losing his shit, he’d need support a lot more than ever. The same goes for Jack with her own problems to deal with that Crane decides to help her like he has always done for people in the main game. And how this will all end, I dunno. I know exactly what might be a fitting end for Jack but how all of this will end, that’s something I’m going to have to see towards the end and how Crane would rise back from his descent thanks to Jack. Whether good or bad.

And there you go, Mad Jack. She really had a huge development based on so many people, as well as Crane himself. And I really enjoy pushing that development further into her, to see how far her trials go on her moral and psyche. 

uh....hope you get it. Probably a bore though. :Y I’m open to anything btw if you think it’s silly or bad. Been editing a lot in this character, others and my writing.

If people are interested, there’s already 15 chps, 1 small intermission chp and the next one is being worked on. Here’s the fic.

I feel like a dork...Im gonna draw other DL fanart. Maybe like banter between the Wild Dog and Scorpion in the past or something...