#sorry. sorry. just remembered that i had to pay $100 to get a teaching license in this shithole city. im fine. im fine. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

crystalblueskie · 6 years ago

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I got bored and wrote some jokes. Tell me if you like them.

So, to get started let me tell you a little something about my family. My mom is disabled and so she has a service dog named Callie Ann...that is such a country white girl name, Callie Ann, amirite? Anyways, so this dog obviously goes everywhere with us: doctors offices, grocery store, restaurants. Normal service dog stuff, you know? But for some reason, everybody stares at her like it's the weirdest thing they've ever seen. A dog wearing a vest walking around Target... I use Target because Walmart is too controversial. Walmart: EVIL!! Target: fair game. Walmart: Trump Target:...any other president. Anyways: dog wearing a vest walking around Target, a vest that blatantly say "SERVICE DOG" on it mind you and random people like to just walks up to us as we and the dog are minding our own business and ask "Is she a service dog?" *Stares bewildered* and every time I'm thinking in my head "I DON'T KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU ASK HER VEST!"..."no, no ma'am we just slapped a service dog vest on her so she can go everywhere with us. Thank you for asking. Goodbye. Have a nice day." Another thing about this dog, I love her to death I really do. It's fun we have a young dog in the house again, she loves to play with anything that squeaks or makes a weird noise, I'm getting exercise again! Yay! But my mother takes it to a WHOLE 'NOTHER LEVEL!! We'll out shopping...*whispers* at Target...and we'll walk past the dog section... I'm trying to walk past as fast as possible. My mom stops right at the mouth of the aisle and walks down it. Shit, I know how this goes. My mom and her dog happily trot down the aisle and her dog smells all of the toy until eventually she smells a toy for more than three seconds...my mom is ready. She talks in that annoying baby voice, you know the voice right? *in an annoying baby voice* "Do you like that toy? Yeah! You like that toy? You want that toy? I'm gonna get you that toy!" SHIT. Toy goes in the cart...We end up leaving the store with more dog treats and a goddamn dog toy. Ever. Single. Time. And I'm over here thinking, if I got a toy every time we left the house as a child, I would have more toys than my tiny, little, ADD-riddled brain could handle. Now a days I'm a old 24 years old. If you don't know what that means, it means I'm mentally 24 years old and physically 80 years old. I'll be walking around the house like this *walks around like an old lady holding my back* and my mom will be looking at me and ask "what the hell are you doing?" And I'll yell back to her "what does it look like? My back hurts!!" I look outside "Get the hell of my lawn, you mangy kids!!" Anyways that obviously means I am a young millennial, which basically means that I remember when Netflix was delivered to your front porch and when Blockbuster was a thing. Also, I was told I needed to go to college or I wouldn't amount to anything. Jokes on them, I still didn't amount to anything. I got a Bachelors in Individualized Studies which means I was indecisive about my major and when I graduated I got a piece of paper basically thanking me for my participation. After 5 years of college, I got a piece of paper thanking me for participating in college. Think about that. This is what happened, I was originally going to school to become a teacher, but to become a teacher you must first waste your time taking a bunch of bullshit teaching classes like "How to teach Math" and then after about 3 years you have to submit a portfolio answering questions such as "Why do you want to become a teacher?" Maybe because I need a job and I was told the only way to get one that pays well was to go to college and I like kids sometimes and I took a course in school where I was basically a teachers assistant for 2 credits a semester and this seemed like the easiest job to get at the rip old age of 18. WRONG!! I was so very wrong!! What my teachers and professors failed to tell me was that to even get accepted into my colleges teaching program is not only do we have to answer the portfolio questions is: you have to pass 2 tests. This is what the TAKS tests were really preparing me for. One test was on Math. At this point, I have not done basic Mathematics in 2 years. The other test was on English and Grammar. I have barely passed my English courses with C's my entire life. The cards were not in my favor. You get approximately 60 minutes to finish each test. They take you into this office and you get a little locker and a key in exchange for your Drivers License. You are expected to place your phone and your purse or bag in the locker. They then place you in a separate room with desks with computer lined up against the wall. And at the opposite end of the room, smack in the center is a person that is paid to sit there and make sure you don't cheat. That is their only job, to sit there and stare at you like this *stares around room* am I making you nervous? *whispers* good. Because that is exactly how I felt the entire 60 minutes. And the thing is they don't even give you scratch paper for the math portion, just a TI-84 calculator. You know the ones that cost like 250 dollars and were fucking MANDATORY in middle school? Little secret about those calculators, they have 4 games on them. Yup. Found that out really quick. I used to sit in class on my calculator and the teachers would be none the wiser as I played the same game on my expensive calculator for the whole hour. I still play on it to this day. Anywho, no scratch paper, just an expensive calculator that I can play games on but forgot how to graph on. And I don't know about you guys, but I can't do math in my head like some people, I'm not wired that way. So, I had to go up to the creepy guy paid to stare at us and ask him for scratch paper. At one point I got so involved in solving a problem that I kept getting answers that were not multiple choice options, that I ran out of time and automatic failed 8 out of about 50 questions. A month later I found out that I somehow managed to get a B on a test I didn't finish. *whispers* I'll take it. So, the first time I turned in my portfolio, I had the tests scores that they were looking for but not the detailed answers to their profound questions. I obviously did not get into the teaching education program the first time. A year later I was allowed to turn in my portfolio again. This time I got smart, I made my sister proofread and rewrite my answers for the incentive of 100 dollars of my financial aid. *whispers* I got in. Now at this point, you're probably wondering why I told you all of this and why I don't have a Bachelors in Early Childhood Education like I intended after I went through the torture of 5 years of college and my acceptance into the TEP and the answer to that is, I showed up to the TEP orientation to be told that I had to take 2 more years of teaching courses and at that point I had been in college for nearly 5 years and I was like "There is no way in Hell that I was going to graduate after nearly 7 years of college just to teach children how to count and what the primary colors are." That was probably my biggest mistake in life. Just FYI, all of your childhoods are a lie. Red and Blue are not Primary colors. Cyan, Magenta, and Yellow are the true Primary colors according to the art wheel. To those of you that don't know Cyan can also be called Sky Blue and Magenta is a bright shade of Pink. We good? Good. The definition of a Primary color is a color that cannot be made by combining any two colors. They just exist in the world as is. Still good? Okay. Blue and Red by definition are not Primary colors because they can be made by combining two colors. Blue can be made by combining Cyan and Magenta. Red by combining Yellow and Magenta. They are by definition Secondary colors, colors that can be made by combining two primary colors. Look at that, you came out to have a good time and I tricked you into learning something, I am a teacher. I'm just kidding, I'm lying I didn't always know that. I always thought the Primary colors were Blue, Red, and Yellow just like all of you. I learned that how everyone learns things nowadays, YouTube. Anyways, moving on. The other day I couldn't sleep to save my soul, I had insomnia. And I noticed the weird way that I lay in my bed. It looks a little something like this. *walks over to a pillow and Petunia laying in the middle of the floor* One moment I'll be laying like this *places right foot on side of left knee* You think that ones weird wait until you see the next one. Next minute I'll turn over and be laying like this *place left foot on top of right knee* and then I'll turn over again and do this *pull legs up closer to my body and place them slightly apart* I don't know what this one is, it's like when Deadpool got ripped in half by Juggernaut in Deadpool 2, sorry spoilers. And his lower half has to regrow and he's standing there in front of the remainder of X-Force and Cable but his legs are that of a toddler. That's what this looks like to me, a grown ass person with baby legs trying to run away from something. And then I'll turn over AGAIN and do this *lays almost on front and places left foot of the side of right knee* know this one , this ones not even a sleep position, this is the fucking tree pose from my beginners yoga class. *Stands up and does the tree pose placing both palms together.* Just *hums yoga hum*. That's what that is right there. Haha. I got so bored one morning around 6 o'clock that I decided to clean the mess that was my closet. I had shoes thrown all over the floor of the closet and smack in the middle was a laundry basket that had all the clothes I had ever worn in 3 months. I opened the doors up *pretends to open doors* and I just screamed *screams* and then promptly fainted. Right in front of my closet. That is how messy it was. And the ironic part is that I have OCD. That mess was too much for my tiny, little OCD-riddled brain could handle at 6 in the morning. Which was ironic considering the fact that I had been living with it for 3 months and my OCD didn't seem to mind. But the minute my brain decided it wanted to clean that mess, suddenly my brain was overwhelmed. It took me approximately 2 hours to clean out the junk filled drawers in my dresser and put all of my spring/summer clothes away. Some of you probably noticed I said spring/summer clothes, that is because my autumn/winter clothes do not fit in my room anywhere. So they lay in a tote, a room away, until the temperature starts to drop, and then I would change them out. Men you don't realize this but every girl you know has more clothes than she can count, and some of those clothes, *whispers* she don't even wear. I have a half a closet full of skater dresses, that I wear once in a goddamn blue moon, just because I wanted to feel pretty that day. Interesting thing about switching clothes out, it's not even a new thing. Back in the 19-whatever's girls and women would have a hope chest that was filled with dresses for the spring/summer time when it was autumn/winter outside, and vise versa when it was spring/summer outside. I learned that story from my beautiful mother over there, because one day I pointed to her mothers hope chest and asked what it was used for. Interesting fact about me and my grandmother is that if you look at pictures of her when she was around the age of 13 sitting at the pool, my 13 year old self looked exactly like her, facial expression and all. My grandma unfortunately died of Breast Cancer 5 years after giving birth to my mother, her only surviving biological child. I say "biological child" because after my grandma had so many miscarriages and stillborns, she and my grandpa gave up and went to purchase a child *whipers* from Target. Haha. I'm just kidding, everyone knows that babies come from heaven and that storks carry them down in their beaks to a random families' front porch and leave the baby there to get stepped one when the Husband or Wife goes to check the mail. Probably the Wife, husbands are useless at running errands. You tell a man to go to the store to get 5 items and he comes back with 1 maybe 2 of the items that you had purposely written down on his arm so that he would remember everything. Do women have to do everything? Even figure out what's wrong with our own cars because we've been asking you to do it for 2 months and you keep saying "I'll take a look at it as soon as I have time." "As soon as you have time, bitch? That's right now!! You're sitting on the couch watching goddamned football and drinking beer. Guess what either you can record or pause your game for 15 to 30 minutes or you can sit there watching it and not have anything to eat for dinner, because I was so busy doing your "job", that I forgot to do my "job"." I put quotations around job because I don't understand why the cooking and the cleaning and the children-taking-care of has to be done solely by the woman and why yard work and fixing cars and sitting-on-there-all-day-watching-the-game-while pretending-to-take-care-of-the-children has to be done solely by a man. I don't work like that. Everyone can do any household job. For example, I have broken the side mirror of my moms car 2 times now. Do you think I was just like "Oh, well, I don't know how to fix a mirror I'll have to take it to Chris to get it fixed." Just FYI, Chris is a real person, he's my mechanic for things that I can't fix on my own. Hey, Chris! I didn't just give up, I did what every person in my generation do, I turned to YouTube and typed into the search bar "How to change the side mirror of a 2005 Ford Focus" *ding* Millions of videos pop up. I click on one, I watch it, I now know the basics for how to change a side mirror on a car, I took me exactly 5 minutes to learn it. How long did it take you Chris? Since then I have now replaced 3 of my mothers side mirrors. One on the drivers side that she did, and two on the passenger side that I did pulling in and out of the garage. Both times. YouTube has gotten ridiculous. Remember way back when when it was filled with music videos and people would post videos of them singing along to the songs. Nowadays, you can search anything on YouTube and find a video on it. For example type in "how to get mangy kids off my lawn" and you will most likely find a ridiculous video on how to keep children and dogs off your lawn. I love YouTube, I watch a lot of gaming videos, some Youtubers that I watch are Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, the GameGrumps (creators of the fabulous game DreamDaddy), The Fine Brothers or FBE, Graveyardgirl or Bunny, and Good Mythical Morning with Rhett and Link. Search any of these Youtubers and watch their videos, and you will not be disappointed. I love how there's a channel out there for any genre. Baking, Cooking, Make-up, Video Games, React Video, and ,my personal favorite, rant videos. Do you guys remember when Chris Crocker did the "Leave Britney Alone" video? He was ugly crying and I'm pretty sure wearing mascara and guy liner and he just keeps yelling into the camera for 30 seconds straight "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!! LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!! YOU *points at person* LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE AND YOU *points at a different person* LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!" And it just goes on like that for 30 seconds of a guy ugly crying over Britney fucking Spears. You thought girls where the best ugly criers, you were wrong, it's the gays. Gays overpower all girl powers by like a 100. A girl will be like "Look at my make up isn't it nice?" And a gay guy with jump out of nowhere add flawlessly apply FaceOff quality make up and be like "you look beautiful, do you like my sexy alien?". Anyways, I just love YouTube, I could watch YouTube video of people playing scary games that look interesting to me but I'm too scared to play *whispers * all day long.

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thetimelordbatgirl · 7 years ago

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Your Liv and Maddie post gives me life! I 100% agree with everything. I felt bad for Maddie during the Diggie and Josh mess. Jillow is beyond disturbing to me and the fact her behavior was played off for laughs and they got together (!!!!!!)! They gave her behavior a stamp of approval by pairing them off smdh. If it's not too much trouble, could you share your thoughts on Karen and her horrible parenting? Thanks!

Thanks! Last time I posted about something wrong with the show, I didn’t get a good response so this is kinda nice for once!

I felt bad for Maddie no matter what really, but specially during that BS and of course, the season 3 finale, but I aint touching that topic without putting a warning for Anti-Liv stuff.

Jillow was the shit I avoided- any time I saw a dam scene of it, I skipped the channel- SPEICALLY DURING THE NET EPISODE, LET ALONE THE EP WHERE JOEYS FORCED TO SING AND DANCE WITH WILLOW ON LIVE TV. And lord- I know….the only show I can name at this point pointing out the girl was toxic is Andi Mack- Liv and Maddie on the other hand: played it for laughs and then had the pair get together out of the blue despite me cheering when Joey looked relieved to be free almost.

Oh that scream was me btw- I love ranting about Karen Rooney, and half the time compare her to the fantastic parenting off Amy Duncan.

So uh, under read more cause it will be long as shit

So my problems play off with how she acts with her kids, obviously- and before anyone asks, while I have problems with Pete, I cant say hes a bad dad fully as hes a, been off screen fully since the end of season 3, and b, outside of a few incidents, he was a better parent then his wife at this rate.

Lets go with my most disgusted moment yet with Karen- when Evan turned Parker basically into a slave for Karen and Karen fucking went along with it and even smiled throughout it- WTF- im sorry, while I agree chores need to be done- YOU DO NOT GO ABOUT IT LIKE THAT- SHE BASICALLY HAD EVAN BRAINWASH HER SON INTO DOING WHAT SHE WANTS, AND IN THE PROCESS, MOCKED PARKER BY DOING INTERESTS HE ENJOYS IN FRONT OF HIM- LIKE WTF- THE SLAVE PART IS THE MOST DISTURING THING- PARKER ALONE IS A HATED CHARACTER NOW AND THEN, BUT I FELT SO BAD FOR HIM THERE AND THEN CAUSE AGAIN WTF-

Another moment? The first time the Chedder Cheese thing came in- and Pete also gets a bad grade here btw as he appeared in this episode too- but basically, the parents and twins are facing off against each other- so what does this loving mother do? Support them? Encourage them? Give them luck? Or how about she fucking messes with their heads, takes her daughters cell phone in school and then gets a daughter banned from the contest just so she could win DESPITE MADDIE DOING WHAT KAREN DID TO THE TWINS THE ENTIRE EPISODE AND MADDIES BEING SANE COMPARED TO KARENS. Im sorry, but you do not MESS with your daughters HEADS- you do not fucking try to make them late to the contest, you do not get them disqualified cause they gave you a taste of your own medicine and you do not fucking make it look like your love for them is false when you congraduate your husband for telling them he loves them and he just smirks- LIKE WTF-

A minor instance here- but why did she make Maddies college choices about herself? Like, no Pete, DO NOT SUGGEST KAREN FOR HELP- Karen literally made it out to Maddie that Karens more important then Maddie just choosing a college- like at this rate lady, if you were my mom, I’d move out the moment I get the fucking chance and not let you near the grandkids.

Another time- she forces her son Parker into a pagent despite him clearly not wanting to do it and even when he says he doesn’t want to do it, she makes him anyway- and in the same ep, was disgusted at the idea of her daughters being sick- like sorry lady, thought you knew what parenting would be like the moment you became pregnant- thought you knew to not act like your daughters being sick is a nuisance.

BTW, another minor thing but im petty- when your daughter says they fine and don’t need your help with French- don’t force it down her throat, fucking give her the space and let her do it her own way.

Oh and another one! Yep, theres another! In a certain episode, Maddie is selling stuff to raise money for a school trip- and its her own stuff or old stuff, which is fair enough to be sold really- but Karen proves to be a hoarder as she tries to stop her daughter selling her old stuff like, I don’t know, her old scooter and her old doll thing- like Karen is such a hoarder to the point she thinks shes right and therefore, goes to Maddie with the picture she and Liv made as children, you know, the thing that actually means shit compared to the shit Karen is hoarding? Yeah, Karen pushes Maddie into putting a price on it- and while at it, calling it junk and not meaning which is gross as fuck as that’s Liv and Maddies picture and actually means shit compared to Karens stupid toothbrush collection- AND SOMEHOW, KARENS RIGHT WHEN SHE WASNT? NO YOU DICK, YOU MADE MADDIE SELL A IMPORTANT PICTURE COMPARED TO YEARS OLD TOOTHBRUSHES THAT SHOULD HAVE GONG IN THE BIN BY NOW- YOU AINT TEACHING MORALS, YOUR PROVING TO BE A HOARDER.

One more minor thing: She when grounding Maddie and Liv not only bans Maddie from getting a license until shes 18 which is gross as that’s trapping Maddie further with these assholes but she also says Liv has to drive her anywhere where she wants and at Liv’s protest, LAUGHS AND SAYS SHE MAY EVEN HAVE LIV DRIVE HER TO PICK UP THE NEWSPAPER-WAY TO TAKE JOY IN BEING A BAD PARENT BITCH.

Two more points, last ones I swear as I didn’t tune in much for season 4 and these are all the moments I can remember being fully disgusted with:

*Karen trying all the time to get in her daughters space- like, she wont stop getting in on it, claiming shes apart of it when shes not- and yet, she forces herself in so many times and then forces Maddie to send off her Diggie stuff and claims Maddies missing Diggie cause shes wearing sweatbands he gave her….I agree with Maddie here- fucking not right at all.

*This was along with Pete, so again, bad mark to him too- in the ep that Joey and Parker use the Gift Card they gave the parents ages ago, when they via Joey leaving his ID at the place, Karen admits THEY WONT PLANNING TO USE IT MEANING SHE HAS NO RIGHT TO COMPLAIN- but both get into their sons heads later and fucking SURROUND Joey singing the Goofy Gary song madly until Joey fesses up- like WTF-

Ok, and my reasons for comparing her to mother Amy Duncan? Amy, while self asorbed now and then and more into getting herself on stage and sometimes letting the spotlight take over her- still gave a dam about her kids to the point she fucking chased Teddy’s teacher throughout the school, was willing to try and help her kids no matter what, loved her kids fully and always learnt her lesson when she stepped beyond boundries- she respected Teddy’s decision and reasonings for keeping the play a secret from her and in response to having a large family, said they wont quitters- she doesn’t care for numbers, she loves her kids- the only time she sometimes pays around with her kids is when they have done bad shit- aka Teddy sneaking out to that party and when the kids lost Charlie almost- like Karen has nothing above Amy.

And its sad to see such a mom existed within Karen- could have had something- but nope- to go with the disturbing Jillow, we had to get bad parenting jokes next that were never called out.

Jesus Christ that got LONG-

#liv and maddie #karen rooney #anti-Karen rooney #I love ranting about her it aint even funny

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rockyrunrun · 8 years ago

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The Decision.

Beginning of 2017, I was in Sacramento, still looking forwards for a chance to chase a dream and working hard and looking for a promotion. In early March, I took my talents back to the Bay Area and got hired for the new job. Then 2 months of licensing and another month of training, July 24, 2017. I made a decision. I'm leaving a job that I've had since April 13th, 2001 and I'm going to leave it all out on this blog. Reason being? I loved it for a lot of years and I want to remember what I can remember. So if there were anyone and anything that you can blame me for, then, here's my side of the story. 16 years at a company, I think I have the rights to say whatever I want to say. '''Twas was the day that was senior year in high school. I went and started looking for a job because I chose to go to Chabot College, a community college local to most of the East Bay. I went in, first one I met was the General Manager, Eric Martin. When anyone ever talks about first impression, that guy impressed me. I was a 17 year old, looking for a job with no resume in hand. He professionally told me to fill out an application and asked if I wanted to be interviewed immediately. "Sure, let's do it." Two days later I was sitting in the middle of a store front inside Bayfair Mall going through orientation with a bunch of other future co-workers. First person I met, Nam Huynh. We eventually even served popcorn and trained together in Union City. We took over the A side and we had tons of fun. If you want to teach your employees to upsell, just say "managers said if we don't make enough profit, they won't give us raises". Never not upsold ever since then. I met a lot of people like Yolanda, and later on "Army" (yeah I graced him that name) and also Soap, his friends, his family. Hell, we even joked and called ourselves a race team, "Century B16" as in Bayfair 16. The chance came around August, Rush Hour 2 weekend. One of the managers asked if I was interested in working in the booth, turned out to be one of my future best friends, Marvin Capistrano. On to the booth I went. Talking about building up movies, breaking down movies, hanging out with Duane talking about Pootie Tang. Man, crazy days. First time I ever built a movie was, Zoolander. Dry runs after dry runs, hot print break downs on Thursday. I slowly but surely deterred from going to school. Then, a GM put me on probation and wanted to fire me. I will never forget this, simply because I wasn't properly trained and this 30 day probation, I lasted longer than the GM and his crew. I learned one important thing, training. Which is also another thing that I've learned, to be a people's person. Next GM came, Charles, I breezed through it and apparently we were doing a bad job. Let me remind you, at the time, the ATM at Bayfair was stolen!!!! Then, during that time I met my little big sister Erica. Although we didn't exactly work together all the time but we were always close. I love Erica to death. She's definitely bff status. Meanwhile, supposedly the theater wasn't doing good, so this Latino dude name Lazaro came along, and this other Asian ricerocket driving dude name Anthony Tan came about... with Brian Pacquing.... The rest was history. Rios, if you ever get to read this, I still hate you for making me cry. But it was definitely tough love. I learned the most from him. I learned how to be tough on someone, but real. You can't yell at someone that consistently yell, nags and bitch about things. You MUST teach. For that, Rios, I forever owe you. To Anthony Tan, you taught a young kid what's right and what wrong. You taught me how to grow up and be a man. I might not always understand you at the time, but boy I sure received the message. Rios did good and took over and taught me how to be good, but when it was his time to leave, here comes Julius. David Wilson-Scott bka Julius Pirie Scott, you are way beyond a father figure to me and even more as a brother. You taught me how to trust my skills and be great. We went to see Usher, we saw Kanye, and we saw riots at the theater, but you taught me everything and you did not hold back any knowledge. I learned from you to give your knowledge out unconditionally. Thank you. Then, it was time for me to leave. Cinedome 8 East Fremont. Ben Lin, Montry Souvanthong, Ashley Perreira. You three were more than what I can ask for from a new GM, Ben knowing me the most by working with me at Bayfair but the other two kept me sane. Jeff Herzstein, thank you for trusting a 21 year old kid to tell you to spread your wings and trust your skills, thank you for helping me become a fair and smart GM. Adam Bebee and Adam Bauer, you guys were good and ya two taught me how to be a fair GM and I love the fact that you guys gave me respect. To the late Jane Benjamin, may you Rest In Peace, or well, keep going to forever create havoc! I love you Jane, I love the fact that you wanted to work and you love me and respected me. When everyone told me to avoid you, I didn't, I got close to you. Thank you for the countless meals of country way, Disneyland Mickey ears and the bottle of champagne for the holidays. I love you. I hope you look after me. Two years later, when Cinemark came running and bought out Century. I took my talents to Union Landing. Jacqueline Brooks, for the record, I hate you as a co-worker, but I love you as a brother. We never get along not because we have differences, but we don't get along because we all want to look out for each other. Two years at 25 made me love you like you're the big sister I never had. To Leticia Gonzalez Solis, you, you're a beast. Hug hug, kiss kiss, little hug big kiss little kiss. I taught you everything I got and you gave me all your effort every day. Out of all people that followed me, you were not the smartest but I know 100% you worked the hardest. Baby boy Ali, I know you got my back and I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me, but trust me, if you ever need anything, you know I for damn sure wish that was me that took that bottle to the head instead of you. The two years of 25 was so good, it exhibited my skills. Then I earned a promotion to open my own theater. For the fucking record. These years at Hayward, forever let me say what I feel, because I am, and still am very angry about the process on how and what happened. First, when the audit program happened, I was opening the theater. Second, my self destruction and choice of going back to school was directly affected by Cinemark. I opened the theater, the shopping complex and the recession hit hard, so the projected attendance was short by almost 40%. It was 2008. Then Cinemark gave all the managers in the Bay Area reduction in geographical allowance. Mind you, all managers in the Bay Area were "century" pat while I was "Cinemark" pay but the cut was all across, so I got less money. Not to mention, the first day the paycut happened was at a Cinemark conference, that's not encouraging to me. Not to mention, my superior discouraged me for getting higher education, simply telling me to focus more at work and talk about how great advancement is. Then came the budgeting process, I was compared to a 8 screen cinedome on payroll, to reduce payroll at a new location, I was told to also act as the MR guy and the GM 5 days a week during slow season. Then I was blamed for lack of production, bad audit scores, no bonus and also more paycuts. 1600 bi-weekly check to 1200 when I decided to leave. So I'm tired of people saying "you were never there" or "you fucked up the payroll", because I didn't. Snitches gets stitches and even if I blamed my regional manager or higher ups, the small potato in me would never win. The Cinemark algorithm on reduce cost of living in 2009, made us, the managers get a pay cut. I have yet seen the facts and studies. And the small potato in me never mattered. Cinemark, century pay grade, they didn't care. For the second time I'm mentioning it, you take 1/4 of my paycheck and decrease my pay within 3 years, trust me, you would be as mad as me. I did have a good time at Hayward because it was challenging, look at it now, not too shabby, but I hate it. While I was working at this location. I lost my girlfriend. I never get to see her and I was stressed all the time. Don't like Hayward. The city hall wanted the theater to play at least 2-4 art films every week, so they can "attract" people. I was invited to the city hall meeting to have almost 2 hours to answer the fine citizens of Hayward on how a movie theater should be ran. Same people that discouraged me to be around and just wanted things their way. Not a happy place. Then due to poor mid 80s audit scores, I was told that I would have no chance to survive as a general manager, for the third time, let me remind you that you lost 1/4 of your pay at the same time since the beginning. I chose to go to Fremont. I will end this chapter like this. Fremont. It was a time for me to leave the moment I got there. Jason Cardosa, I gave you my all. I don't like to belittle people and it doesn't make me feel good. Countless times I was reminded how poorly I ran Hayward and how much I wasn't trustworthy enough to run a department, while every single department I ran was the best that you ever got when I was there. Strange. Apparently because I have GM experience then it's expected. I know I got skills, but you never really cared and tried to find a solution to solve the issue. You provide patchwork and I provide solutions. We had our differences, but it was much like Jackie and I, because we care. You stuck with me for 2 more years and how ungrateful am I but to leave you so shortly and with pretty close to no notice. I popped my last batch of popcorn, sold my last ticket and used my last set of movie theater broom. I don't care what anyone says, you out of every one that I know have the best potential and you're definitely not too young for a regional leader role, but be personable. That's what Farley taught me. Be there for your people and understand how they feel. I got to know you so much more when we went to watch Oblivion in LA and that was a good trip. I was happy we made that trip because I feel like you actually do care about people, but try that on some other people, they respect you more that way. To every single person I've trained, thank you for listening. To everyone that I screwed over. 16 years later, I am 100% proud to say that I don't have any. So, boom. Cinemark, Century, thanks for the memories. Notice I put all the memories on people? The people made it for me. The lives that I made better and taught, I'm proud of that. I always said I'll go back to Bayfair and kiss the floor before I quit. Well, I'll officially do that on Friday, but 100%, my theater life is done and thank you all.

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goddessnemain · 6 years ago

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Let me tell you about my brother, and as a bonus, my sister.

Bigger bonus: dear ol’ dad.

I have two brothers. One who I share both the same mother and father with, and another that I share a mother with and he has a different father. Some would say that makes him my ‘half-brother’ but I disagree. He’s my brother and that’s that. I also have 2 sisters. One who I share both a mother and a father with and one I share a mother with while she has a different father. Some would say that makes her my ‘half-sister’ but I disagree there too. She’s my sister and that's that. Right now, we’re focusing on the brother (and sister) I share the same parents with.

There are 3 ‘full-blood’ kids between my parents. Myself, being the oldest, my brother and his twin sister being 2 1/2 years younger, my sister the younger of the twins.

The three of us didn’t have it easy growing up. Yeah yeah, roll your eyes. Don’t get me wrong, we had all sorts of things that other kids didn’t have. We had a seasonal camping spot at a lake for 19 years. We had a boat, learned how to waterski and wakeboard. We went back and seen the same friends summer after summer. We had skidoos and dirt bikes. We had weekend ski trips to the mountains and all sorts of cool toys. Other kids wanted to be our friends because we had all these cool toys.

Try and look past the pettiness of these next several paragraphs because I’m not trying to be petty but rather paint a picture.

My brother always got a little extra. My sister and I always had to share a skidoo while my brother always got his own and would throw a tantrum if he found out my sister or I rode it while he wasn’t around. My brother got his own dirt bike while my sister and I had to share, and you guessed it, he threw a tantrum if he found out I rode it while he wasn’t around. My dad took my brother and his twin sister to California for 10 days when I was 10. They went to Disneyland and Sea World and Epcot and all sorts of places in that area. I stayed home with my mother and her soon to be husband number 2. My brother went on trips to Atlanta and a dozen other places in the US when my dad went places on business trips. Fishing trips off the coast of Vancouver Island on $3 million dollar boats. My sister went to Seattle, and several other places in the US when dad went on business trips. The twins both went with dad to Toronto once. They spent a day with the live-in nanny we had for 2 years and enjoyed rubbing that in my face. They enjoyed rubbing all their trips in my face.

When I wanted to do figure skating, the twins had to do it too. When my brother (and at the time, my dad had a girlfriend who had 3 kids who lived with us- 1 boy and a set of identical twin girls) (and the girlfriend's son) wanted to play hockey, they both got all new equipment. The girlfriends' son was only a couple months older than me, so at the time he would have played PeeWee hockey. I was desperate for some of my dad's attention, so I wanted to play hockey too because that meant dad would sometimes come to practices and games. While the boys got all new equipment, I got my dads hand-me-downs from the 80′s. I got new skates though. The whole thing backfired. The girlfriend's son didn’t really know how to skate so my dad worked with him to teach him to skate and teach him and my brother about the art of playing hockey. I’d never played hockey before and dad left me to the wolves.

It was always like that. The twins, dad’s girlfriends, their kids, they always got something extra. The girlfriends got the trips too.

Dad is an alcoholic. I say is but now he’s in a full-time care facility where he can’t get out to go sit in bars or go to liquor stores. He was often a mean drunk. Not in public, of course. In public, he was a respected businessman. When we did something he didn’t like he would curl his bottom lip in towards his teeth, bite his lower lip, bare his upper teeth to us, and talk to us in harsh hushed tones. He was abusive. I took the brunt of the physical, mental and emotional abuse. My brother was physically and mentally and emotionally abused less than I was, and my sister less than him. My dad did things to us that I’d never repeat to anyone. Now before you start thinking he molested us or anything like that I’ll clarify that that was never the case. I often had bruises on my arms and legs. If you weren’t paying attention they would look like the bruises obtained from being a typical kid. If you looked closer sometimes you could see the smaller bruises where the fingers had really dug in or the partial shape of the bottom of a boot. Most people knew we were being abused. Once or twice child protective services even came to the house because someone had called them but nothing ever came of it. When you live in a small town, your dad and grandfather have a big, very successful company, a highly recognizable last name and a boatload of money, most people tend to look the other way. I was shopping in a small store locally a few years ago and chatting with the owner who had lived here for as long as I can remember. During our conversation she said to me: “I always felt sorry for you kids, growing up the way you did. We knew your dad was abusive to you but there was nothing we could do about it.” All I could say was “everyone knew and there was nothing anyone could do about it.”

Dad is an alcoholic. He was often a fun alcoholic as long as other people were around. As long as his other alcoholic friends were around. While we were at the lake one summer he loaded 7 kids into the suburban and drove the hour to a water park complete with waterslides and hot tubs. Probably sounds funny, leaving a lake to go to a water park located right next to another lake, but that’s what we did. After a couple hours on the water slides, the 4 of us that were old enough to go went parasailing. All in all, it was a fun day, even if dad did keep going back to the suburban to add more coke and rye to his water bottle. He would yell down the long isles in COSTCO at me “Do you need tampons?”. Now COSTCO is usually pretty busy, but COSTCO in the city on a Saturday in the summer it’s pretty much pandemonium. It was all in good fun. He would take a boat full of our friends out on the lake for hours and haul us around on tubes. Some summer mornings he would cook enough food to feed a small army, and that’s pretty much what he did because he would tell all our friends he was cooking breakfast the following morning and they better be there. He wore bright green pants with glow in the dark hot pink flamingo’s and thought it was hilarious. When dad was in fun alcoholic mode, things were usually pretty good. But like most alcoholics, his mood could turn on a dime.

When I turned 16 and got my drivers license my dad bought me a car, a 1981 Chevette, for $600. It was a falling apart, push-button radio, you could hear the engine through the radio and the whole thing shook if you went over 105Km’s/hr. I only had it a couple month because even with a new battery the damn thing wouldn’t start most of the time and the battery had to be on a trickle charger anytime I was home. So when my cousin was selling her 1989 Ford Topaz for $1000 I jumped on that. I wanted to destroy that Chevette with a backhoe but instead, we sold it for $100 just to get rid of it. My way sounded better but whatever.

When my sister turned 16 and got her license dad bought her a 1998 Sunfire with power locks, power windows, and a sunroof. Or a moonroof. Whatever you want to call it. It was a nice shiny black 2 door unit and only produced 3 years before she’d gotten her license. I was born the very end of 1982, that Chevette was older than I was.

When my brother turned 16 and got his license dad bought him a 1999 pick-up truck. It was one of those weird looking ones with the 4 doors and the really short box. He crashed it a month later. After that dad retired one of the company trucks and gave that to my brother.

In early 2004 I had moved home to live with my dad with my kiddo. I’d decided to go back to school and get my diploma, and dad said to save money and help with childcare I could move home until I was done. So, I got rid of our place and kiddo and I moved home with dear ol’ dad. And my brother. And my sister. I’ d slept in one Saturday morning, went downstairs and dad was on the phone. After a few minutes he hung up the phone, looked at me and said: “There, I just bought you a brand new car”. He’d bought me a 2002 Chevy Cavalier. I was thrilled. I didn’t really care that it didn’t have power anything, I was just happy to have a more reliable vehicle. 3 weeks later I had that new car delivered to our local dealership, registered and insured. In true dad fashion, that car came with a price. I had to do his bidding. He wanted something from the store at 10:30 at night? I had to go get it. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, I wasn’t at the time. I was in school, doing well, my kiddo was happy, I had a part-time job. But like most things with dad, that doing well and being happy didn’t last. I was secretly dating a girl at the time and when my brother broke into my locked treasure trunk and read my diary, he told dad all about my relationship. Dad was furious. He took away the car keys and told me to get the fuck out of his house. So there we were, my kiddo, who was all of 3 at the time, and I walking the 3km’s into town, him in his stroller, with his stroller weighed down with all the diapers and kiddo clothes and kiddo supplies it could carry. Me with as many bags of kiddo supplies and some of my own stuff as I could carry, at 7:30 at night trying to figure out where the hell I was going to go. I had a bit of savings from that part-time job so we stayed in a dive hotel for the night. The next day I contacted the local Salvation Army to see what they could do for us. They paid for a hotel for us for a week and gave me some money so I could feed us. I had that girl I was seeing stay with my kiddo while another friend drove me out to my dads' house where I broke in (which wasn’t really breaking in since it was a safe neighborhood and our doors were never locked), took the keys to my car and left with the damn thing. I found an apartment, the RCMP supervised as I removed all our stuff from my dad's place. I applied for student funding so I could still work part-time, go to school, have daycare for my kiddo and see my kiddo. I was turned down. Why you wonder? It’s simple really- that car was worth too much. They told me to sell it. The thing was, while it was registered and insured in my name, the bill of sale was in dads name so I couldn’t sell it even if I wanted too. So, I went to school from 8:30-3:00 Monday to Friday, worked from 4:00-11:00/12:00 5 days a week, my kiddo was in daycare. I had just enough time between school and work to pick him up, take him to the park or for ice cream before I had to drop him off with a babysitter and go to work. I’d given up an affordable place, a stable place for my kiddo and I, a vehicle I owned outright, and a life I could afford with funding to move in with my dad, who was supposed to help us, only to be completely screwed over by the guy in the end.

My brother lived at home until he was 27, and my dad often paid my brothers child support for him.

Dad bought my sister a new 2003 Pontiac Grand AM GT fully loaded. He bought her a 3 bedroom house on a double corner lot with a $350 a month mortgage.

When my brother drove drunk and side swiped 5 vehicles, ‘dad paid’ for all the repairs as long as all the owners didn't press charges. When I say ‘dad paid’ I mean he filtered money out of his company to pay for the repairs, not a cent came from his own pocket. So, ‘dad paid’ for that 2002 Cavalier, and ‘dad paid’ for that 2003 Pontiac. According to my 2002 income tax, I’d ‘made’ $23,000 that year from dads company. I didn’t really make anything. Between my brother, sister and I we ‘made’ damn near $100,000 that year. I don’t know about those two but I didn’t see a cent. When my brother drove drunk on a separate occasion and ran his truck up a concrete barrier effectively high centering the truck on the barrier, ‘dad paid’ for the tow truck to come and dug the truck off the barrier, and ‘dad paid’ the auto shop bill and ‘dad paid’ the autobody bill to repair the truck.

Whenever that pair needed pretty much anything dad had his wallet or his chequebook open.

Don’t get me wrong, in 2008 after dad got sober for a time, we worked to repair our relationship, and he started to have a relationship with his grandson. They traveled the rodeo circuit together several summers in a row. I tagged along when I could. My kiddo had some life experiences that he never would have had if it hadn’t been for my dad in those few years. I’d never seen dad sober and he was a different person. He was, mostly, a better person.

It didn’t last though. He started drinking again. He was angry all the time. Then his drinking was finally as out of control as I’d ever seen it: peeing himself, his bed, having other bodily functions occur while he sat in his chair watching tv. He stopped cleaning his condo, stopped taking care of himself. I would often find him passed out on his living room floor in a pile of his own vomit. My kiddo had stopped having sleepovers with grandpa a while before this, when one night my kiddo called in a panic saying he “can’t wake grandpa up” and “supper was burning on the stove”. I didn’t know at that time his drinking had gotten bad again, he was good at hiding it, but I learned real fast. Unfortunately, so did my kiddo.

In April 2013, after years of taking care of my dad- finding him drunk in his own vomit, him calling me telling me he’s going to kill himself, calling me 15 times a day for no reason, demanding I be at his beckon call, and with next to no help from my brother and sister, I had had enough. By this point, I lived in fear of my phone ringing, my hair was falling out, I was hardly sleeping, I was angry all the time, in general, I was a very angry person and some days I couldn’t even stand myself. So I gave up. If that makes me a terrible person for giving up on my dad then so be it. I told the twins he was their problem now and washed my hands of the entire thing. The twins didn’t want the responsibility. They didn’t realize how much I’d been doing for dad and they didn’t want to do it. So, we all stopped talking to each other. Little did I know they were about to destroy my life.

A few months later I received a call from the RCMP asking me to come down to the attachment. So, I went. That's when they informed me that I was accused of defrauding my father of thousands of dollars and he was pressing charges. The twins stood behind his decision to do so 110%. Let’s be clear- both my brother and my sister had access to my dad's bank card, they both used it to go shopping for him once in a while, they both knew the PIN number. Anyway. Remember how I said I did everything for my dad? That included using his bank card to buy his groceries and using his chequebook full of already signed cheques to pay his bills. Now I admit, if I was out buying his groceries and needed a few grocery items for myself, I’d put them on his bill. If I was grabbing him a carton of cigarettes on his card, I’d grab a pack or two for myself. And some gas if I needed it. I never thought of it as stealing exactly, I always thought that if I’m going to spend all this time doing all these things for him while he sat in his chair and got drunk, I should at least get something out of the deal occasionally. If you think that’s stealing, then I suppose we’ll agree to disagree. At the detachment, the officer had stacks of bank statements and stacks of cheques. We went through the cheques and we could clearly see that there were several different people writing them for various things. I identified my writing, my sisters writing, my brothers, my dads, what I thought might have been my aunt’s. Some of them were legitimately made out to me, in my own writing- like the two made out to me so I could put that amount on my visa and pay for two separate trips to Mexico. And the one made out to me to pay for our (my kiddo, myself and my soon to be husband) flights and half of our hotel bill when I (very stupidly) went to Vegas and got married (big mistake, big, huge!!). Cheques made out to me to buy pesos for the trips to Mexico, cheques made out to me to exchange for American cash for spending money. There were cheques made out to me that weren’t in my writing at all. Going through the bank statements, there were a lot of charges that didn’t make sense to me or were from places I hadn’t been. There were charges from the local WalMart that were a lot bigger than I’d ever used his bank card to pay for. In the end, the officer understood that not all of these transactions that were blamed on me were actually done by me. He also understood that a lot of the transactions I was accused of making without permission (like the cheques for the Mexico trips) were actually done with permission. Ultimately, in the end, I was charged with fraud. The officer did what he could to talk to the crown prosecutor to explain that I shouldn’t be charged based on the (outrageous) amount I was accused of defrauding, but the crown prosecutor didn’t care. He wanted a win. The judge ordered a psychiatric evaluation and that's when I discovered that I’d been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder 2 1/2 years prior. In the end, I wound up with a year of house arrest, a year of probation complete with a curfew and a criminal record that pretty much guarantees I will never again find a job where I have to deal with anyone's money. I can’t even get hired to run a till at the grocery store.

If you’re still with me you’re probably wondering why I chose now to write about all this. Well, that brother I haven’t talked to in 5 1/2 years since I dumped dear ol’ dad in their laps showed up, unannounced and unwelcome, at my door yesterday. Talking about making amends, we’re all too old to not be ‘a family’ and get along. He says it’s time we all put all our differences aside and learn to be part of each other's lives. Except for his twin sister, she’ll always be an uber bitch who will never get along with anyone. To my surprise, he brought up those charges from 5 years ago. Of course, they were referred to as “that stuff that happened with dad”. My brother, who sat in the back of the courtroom those 5 1/2 years ago and smiled when I was officially charged, sat in my house yesterday, looked me in the face and said “I know you didn’t take all that money. I knew it was (my sister) too. I told dad if he was going to charge you he better charge (my sister) too but he wouldn’t listen.” My brother, who now apparently has no contact with my dad and isn’t sure what facility he’s even in, is positive that my sister is back to her helping herself to dads money ways. She’s the only one who knows which facility he’s in. She’s the only one, other than him, who has access to his bank accounts. She’s the only one, other than dad, the doctors (and what she chooses to tell my mother) who knows how his health is. We know his mind is mostly gone. We’re not sure if he remembers who everyone is, but we do know that before dad was moved to the locked facility and another part if the reason he was moved to the locked facility, is because he got drunk and took a cab to my sisters' place at 10:30 at night.

I’m trying to figure out how I feel about my brother suddenly being back. He’s been to my house for coffee twice now, yesterday and today, and he showed up here about half an hour ago looking for a cigarette, asking what I’m up to tomorrow, and that he’ll “come by for coffee” later in the day tomorrow. All of my instincts are telling me to run. Lock my doors, do not answer, do not listen, do not continue to have communication, do not buy into his bullshit, it’s only a matter of time before he screws me over again. I can’t tell him anything private about my life, he’s such a blabbermouth I can’t trust him. That’s the down and dirty of it. I can’t trust him. But damn it, it would be nice to have some family. Sure, my little (’half-brother’) lives a block from me but he’s always busy so I don’t bother him much, I don’t want to be a burden for him. So I stay away even though with my kiddo completely gone, completely cutting off any and all communication with me. With ‘You’re Safe in my Arms Now’ guy not talking to me, and that was my run to safe space, I’m truly lost and more alone than I’ve ever been.

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innerkryptonitebanana-blog · 7 years ago

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wingedtragedyconnoisseur-blog · 7 years ago