#sorry y'all i am so obsessed with the details about this show

[twig-tea]

Cooking Crush ep 10: This Show Has My Whole Heart

I wrote about some of the things Cooking Crush is doing so well in my response to a recent ask, and so I'm particularly glad that episode 10 came through with a strong flourish to get us set up the last two episodes.

I wanted to call out a few specific things this episode did that are contributing to why it's working so well for me.

First, I want to mention that the reciprocity continues! Previously, we had Prem comforting Ten during a panic attack post adrenaline crash. In this episode, Ten comforts and supports Prem during his worries about Samsee and the competition.

Picking up on something else I've talked about before, this show is committed to its character's arcs. Fire is struggling with his sexuality and his desire to keep their relationship secret last episode led to the conflict between Samsee and Dynamite this episode. Fire showing up to support Dy in public, giving him affection, and using the petname Dy insisted on having is all evidence of Fy's increasing comfort with it. He's already said before he intends to tell his mother, and Dy has been clear he's not rushing him. The way Dy is so careful with Fire but also so receptive to and appreciative of what Fire is able to give warms my heart (pun intended). And Samsee and Prem seeing it and reacting supportively too, because they know what this means to their friend!

[The gifsearch is not cooperating but please enjoy this gifest by @gunsatthaphan.]

I also want to talk about how this conflict with Samsee hits Dynamite hard, and in the context of knowing he's lost relationships with his parents because of his sexuality, to think his relationship with Fire could have lost him a close friend must be bringing back up his feelings about being cut out of the lives of people he loves. However, it speaks to the strength of his bond with Samsee that even though Samsee is furious and not speaking with him, he does not kick Dy out of his apartment. Dy mentions that he didn't see Samsee the night before the competition because Samsee didn't come home (we find out later why, but I loved this subtle nod to the fact that unlike Dy's own parents, Samsee didn't abandon Dy when he made choices that hurt him. I AM IN MY QUEER FOUND FAMILY FEELINGS, FRIENDS).

Along these lines, Ten going to confess to Prem, noticing that these friends are having a moment, and quietly stepping away to give them space is such a good character moment for him, since previously he's been begging to be let in to their shared space even when Prem mentions he's concerned about its impact on his friends and their relationship. Ten's realizing he can't be everything for Prem, and it's better for both of them if he isn't.

That scene of reconciliation, the three friends re-establishing how important they are to one another, that got to me. And that the show prioritized it over the romance! I cannot tell you how much I love that this was an explicit decision the show made, to say 'no, this is not the time for a confession, this friendship reconciliation is more important right now'. And I love that the show gives us a solid, character-grounded reason for why Samsee reacted so strongly to being left out in the first place. We've been told Samsee has changed school majors 3 times, and it's been played as a joke as well as an explanation for why he's an older student. I love that we've now had the consequences of those changes on Samsee's friendships added to his story. Even a "joke" backstory has ramifications for the characters in this show, I am obsessed.

I also want to mention that I am loving what the show is doing with Samsee and Metha, two characters who are the "fuck-ups" of their friend groups, but who are also the most loyal and most supportive of them all. They conflict with one another around what that support looks like, even while they enable one another to continue to be the best friends to their respective besties.

Prem has struggled this entire show to use his words, and in particular he's visibly wrestled with how he can gracefully reject Chef Changma without putting his own career at risk. In this episode he manages to say 'I don't think that [a hug] would be a good idea', and he's ignored. Ten immediately steps in, but I wanted to highlight how big a deal it is for Prem to have said no to this Chef--who he's idolized, who is his mentor, and who is a judge of the competition he's in--in this moment.

When we do get to the confession, Prem continues to lead with action, and Ten continues to push him to use his words. I love so much that Ten never lets him get away with copping out of saying the words, since it's something we know Prem struggles so much with. This speaks to @lurkingshan's earlier post about how Cooking Crush shows us its leads are better thanks to their relationship (in the same way that Fire self-actualizing and being more free to be himself and express affection also speaks to this point).

Beyond character arcs, there's one other thing I am very excited for heading into episode 11 next week, and that's the conflicts in this show converging so brilliantly. So far, the show has set up a few conflicts: Ten's relationship with his father, the cooking competition, the bullies, Fire's relationship with his mother, and Chef Changma's interest in Prem. All of these have now been queued up to expertly converge as a single conflict in ep 11, based on the preview. With Changma's advance and subsequent punch being recorded and distributed (I'm placing bets that this was recorded by one of the bullies, btw), Ten's father once again steps in the way of this relationship that he sees as a detriment to his son. Prem also previously stated that he wanted to enter the competition in order to prove to Ten's dad that he has potential, so these threads were already starting to come together weeks ago. Even if I'm wrong about the bullies having been the ones to record that video, they're sitll in the competition as competitors. And of course Fire has promised Dy he'd come out after the competition, tying the last thread of these conflicts all together around this single event.

And this is what I mean when I say the writing on this show is so good. Because the characters are coherent and consistent and have clear arcs, and the conflicts are grounded in the characters, even though there are several threads, they come together easily and in a way that makes perfect sense and that work with the character arcs rather than against them.

The last thing I'll mention, because it's something I actually brought up as a negative to this show previously, is the use of non-linear storytelling. Cooking Crush has used non-linear storytelling several times, showing us a scene and then flashing back to what happened before that scene in order to fill in the gaps. This can be an effective storytelling tool, but it has to accomplish something in the narrative. The difference between unnecessary and excellently-deployed non-linear storytelling is whether or not there's a good answer to this question: What is the purpose of delaying this information to the audience, and how does that delay affect the audience understanding of what they're seeing? In previous instances, for example the kiss and then flashback to the full date, knowing that Ten and Prem kissed at the end of their date didn't add anything to the viewing experience of watching their date, and having seen their date didn't change my experience of the kiss. This is why I consider it an ineffective use of that technique.

In episode 10, however, we get the cold open that shows Ten joining Prem and Samsee in the competition, and then we flash back. Knowing Ten will be joining Prem and Dynamite in the competition helps to colour what we see about Prem and Dy trying to get Samsee to reconcile with them, as well as Samsee's absence. When we get to Ten stepping in, we have learned it was as much a surprise (and disappointment) to Prem and Dy as it was to us. Ten stepping in doesn't actually work, but it does give Prem the courage to ask if they can compete as a duo, rather than just letting themselves be disqualified without a fight. And we later find out that Samsee was so touched by the letter that he went to his hometown to dig for prawns and that's why he was late for the competition. [I also wanted to mention this because based on @respectthepetty's roundup post it sounds like the cold open was cut for the youtube version]

I lied, I have one more actual last thing, this one is obvious but I can't not say it: THANK YOU to this show for consistently queueing up the typical miscommunication fumbles that get so annoying in every BL (in most romance plots of any sexuality) and then saying NOT TODAY SATAN and having the characters choose vulnerability and honesty and bravery, and talking it out. Every time the show does this (and it's at least 2x per episode, no exaggeration) I feel a little more faith in romance writing restored.

ANWAY, TL;DR Cooking Crush continues making me so happy every week!

[xxavengingangelxx]

I am very curious about your version of Graves, I want to hear a detailed run down from you on how he’d be like in a romantic situation, would he commit? would he get married? would he “fall in love”, would he want a trophy wife to show off? I am just very curious and would love to hear you speak about this. I want to know what he’d be like if he actually did commit to a long term relationship or marriage, and what kind of woman would make him commit if so? I personally feel like he’d get married to a woman who works alongside him in shadow company, it just makes sense for him to get with somebody who is on the same level of psychopathy as him and understands his actions and behaviour, more so, he’d love being around a woman like that in my opinion. somebody who is as intelligent and knows how PMC’s work and can help him manage it too.

This is a good question! Sorry it took a while work has been absolutely insane. Like 60+ work weeks and now I have Hurricane Beryl headed my way! I use she/her pronouns just because that’s what I wrote my fic about but I think it certainly applies the other way around, too! 😉 I also found out after copy-pasting I've exceeding the character limit so this is part 1! Triggers for mentions of domestic violence and dubcon.

ALSO: This is my version of Graves based on what I know and based on the limited information we have. Another anon post said I had Graves wrong, a different opinion. Totally okay! We all have our own versions of him.

Graves in a romantic situation. This is a difficult one. I think it would be very difficult for Graves to differentiate between romance/love and possessiveness. In a fic I wrote, Graves decides OC is his immediately upon meeting her. I think he would be similarly inclined in the civilian world. I’m not sure if he could a civilian could handle Graves, to be honest ☹But he would be similarly possessive. When this type of man (narcissistic with a touch of psychopathy/sociopathy, and if I’m honest, just a little sadism) is deeply interested in a woman, he gets her one way or another.

My version of Graves likely wouldn’t give his chosen partner a choice. In the military, he’d use his clearances (and his Shadows!) to keep track of her. He’d treat a civilian the same way. He’d follow her and then act like: “Hey! Weird running into you here!” when in his head he’s thinking, “I better not see you talking with any other men.”

I think he would commit/not cheat but not for the reasons normal people would. He would commit because he’s obsessed. He would commit because stalking someone and making sure they don’t escape you once you have a hold of them is like two full-time jobs even with his Shadows. And if we’re talking about a female I can see Graves being worried about said female trying to seduce a Shadow to let her go. If she’s on the smaller side, there’s the risk of her slipping out somewhere. His mobile job would help in the sense that his wife would be clueless as to where she was most of the time. She would never go anywhere alone. He’s got a PMC to run. And when he has down time, he’s tired.

He would love showing off his wife. In a fic I wrote he does just that. He would marry to legally tie his wife to him. And in COD, to make it a legal barrier for her to testify against him. She wouldn’t have a choice. I can totally see him pregnancy trapping his wife to further trap her with him. He’d say there was no way she’d leave and take his children and she’s not going to leave her children behind so she stays. I can’t say him mentioning his kids too much as he realizes they would be a bigger target for his enemies. Even Graves has a bit of a heart when it comes to kids.

I see Graves having more of a traditionalist especially since he’s a conservative type from Texas. I'm a Texan living in Texas y'all: Graves is typical down here (but most of them aren't as good looking!) I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s the type to think: the man works, the wife stays home, raises kids, and spends all her time with her husband when he’s home. However, I can also see him wanting to keep said wife busy so her mind isn’t on escape. After kiddos start entering scene, I see him putting her on intel or something like that. Work from home, ma'am.

Graves would absolutely be attracted to intelligence because Graves is smart. Generally, if there is a big mismatch between intelligence (IQ) between parties, they struggle with not only communication but common interests. I think he would want any children he has to inherit that intelligence and continue his company.

An upside (I guess?): Graves is rich as fuck. His wife would have everything and anything she wants (except freedom, ha).

-OC wants an SUV to transport the kids on base? "Sure, darlin’ I already ordered a top-model Audi/Porche." (By the way, when traveling off base, she and the kids are in a military, armored vehicle with no windows. Graves knows his enemies will try to target them.)

-OC wants to be in a home-like environment on base to give the kids somewhat of a normal life? "Of course, sweetheart. Custom built. Whaddaya want?" (No way they would ever live in a normal neighborhood, too risky.)

-OC asks about schooling since they’re constantly moving around. “Don’t worry about it, love. Paid private school, one-on-one attention online and one-on-one in-person attention in the US. I’m not putting them in the shitty public school system. I want them in military universities.” (Plus, they’d start their military education young.)

I think that Graves, like most full-blood psychopaths/sociopaths as well as those who have a touch of it like Graves, he would equate giving his wife whatever she wanted (except freedom!), any material thing she wanted as well as his kids the best of everything with love. He’d equate sex, even dubcon sex, as love.

Now, more about kids. He’d want the best for his kids but there’s no damn way the kids would get whatever they wanted. He’s got some psychopath in him (see Graves Defragged posts as to why, based on the info we have, he does not score high enough on the psychopathy scale) so he’d literally shape his kids’ (and his wife’s tbh) behavior with positive reinforcement because that is what he responds to. Being a narcissist, he believes everyone thinks like him and that everyone responds to positive reinforcement (but in reality there are other ways of shaping behavior like negative reinforcement, negative punishment, and positive punishment). He literally cannot empathize or put himself in someone else’s shoes (again, see Graves Defragged posts). It’s not that he feels guilt/empathize and chooses to ignore it. This man’s brain is physically wired differently and cannot, cannot, CANNOT feel it. So of course he’d think positive reinforcement is the only way to shape behavior.

Now, Graves’s version of discipline. Yikes. Do I see Graves hitting his partner? Absolutely. Graves is in general not impulsive, especially when it comes to important, long-term decisions. For my Criminal Minds fans, he'd be an organized serial killer, not a disorganized one if that helps. His brain structure is different so his limbic system (the more animalistic part of our brains) can be overwhelming to him and I can see this overtaking his prefrontal lobes (PFC) when emotions are involved. What happens? He will lash out with violence, like, with little warning. (I can write another post as to how most homicides are actually crimes of passion, between people who know each other and not planned out/between strangers like the media/TV shows make it out to be.) He will hit his wife, hard, if she gets (what he deems to be) “out of line.” I can’t really see him doing it all the time. But I can definitely see that if his partner pisses him off enough, that partner can easily spend a few nights in a hospital. Yes, Graves sees his wife as somewhat below him: someone needing guidance, direction, and discipline.

For the kids: He’s the disciplinarian, no doubt and the kids go to mom for comfort. Mom gets in the way? He’ll shove her at the least. I can’t really see him seriously hurting his kids. His kids are half him and he’s narcissistic, remember?

There’s emotion involved and based on what I’ve been trained in, men like Graves can only feel two emotions strongly: joy…and rage. We’ve all gotten angry and done/said something we regretted. Imagine that tenfold with an overactive limbic system and some glitches in the frontal lobes.

Now: In one of my darker fics, Graves writes (and then burns) a letter to OC where he starts to feel some kind of guilt. But, xxavengingangelxx, you said he couldn’t feel that! I know 😉 But we all love somewhat happy endings, right? We all love seeing Graves with somewhat of a human side. That’s why I added that little tidbit even though in real life, he wouldn’t be able to feel that. In my fic he’d continue to blame OC for what she went through because “she should’ve talked when we first got her.”

Wow, ok. Two pages of this. I need to shut up. I went to school for this, I trained in this, I see this every day, and I read on average a book a week on this topic. I’m obsessed fascinated!

Anon, I hope I answered both your questions 😊 Any other questions, let me know!

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

I'm sorry, but why don't we talk about Witch Hunt more? Seriously, I think it might be my favorite DAO DLC. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the hell out of Awakening. Leliana's Song is good. The Golems of Amgarrak is... eh, bad. I didn't really like that one. The Warden's Keep, The Stone Prisoner, and Return to Ostagar are all amazing and I love them.

But Witch Hunt??? Y'all. I can't. I'm too emotional right now.

I have at least one dynamic from each game that I'm obsessed with. For DAO, it's the dynamic between romanced!Alistair, Tabris, and Morrigan. I've talked before about the dark ritual and stuff in this post, so let's just say that my Tabris, Rose, very much has unfinished business and a score to settle with Morrigan.

Tabris and Morrigan grew so close throughout the entire journey of DAO, y'know? Close enough that Morrigan claimed she thought of her as a sister, and Tabris felt the same way... and then in one single moment, it's just shattered.

There were signs that Tabris ignored, like the way Morrigan dismissed all the circle mages and claimed they should be left to their fates since they "allow themselves to be caged like cattle." Or how she disapproved every time Tabris wanted to help those down on their luck. Or, worst of all, when Morrigan disapproved when Tabris chose to kill the Tevinter slaver instead of making a deal with him to use the lives of the remaining elves to grant her more power... one of those caged elves being Tabris' father.

But she gave Morrigan the benefit of the doubt; she's sheltered and only had Flemeth as an influence and teacher, of course she's unempathetic and selfish, but there is good in Morrigan's heart. She can learn to be more empathetic and to care for others.

At least, Tabris believed that until Morrigan confessed that she's known about the ultimate sacrifice and the dark ritual from the beginning, that Flemeth sent her with the wardens with a purpose that Morrigan intends to follow through with. It's devastating and it broke Tabris' heart.

She just learned that a warden has to die to stop the blight, and that warden could be her or Alistair. Not only are they romantically involved, but they've been through all of this shit together, they're the only ones who fully understand what being a grey warden is like. They carry the burden on their shoulders, and they're probably going to lose each other to the archdemon.

And Morrigan waits until she's at her most vulnerable to ask that of her.

Again, I've gone into more detail about that before, but at this point Rose is done with people deceiving her. She's done with Morrigan... except she's not. It's the betrayal and knowing Morrigan got what she wanted that causes Rose to go searching for her.

To Morrigan's credit, she does give some answers. She claims she didn't thing the archdemon would show itself so soon, and she did what she had to because she didn't wish to see Tabris hurt or die. I believe her, and to an extent, Tabris believes her... but Morrigan still doesn't get WHY it's a betrayal.

Morrigan's right: She will never understand Tabris, and Tabris will never understand her. She can insist it's not a betrayal all she wants, but it absolutely is, and Tabris has never allowed anyone who crossed her to just walk away... except for Morrigan.

Until now.

Hearing that Morrigan manipulated her way into the trust of this Dalish clan so she could steal their book and run is just further evidence in Tabris' eye that she hasn't changed. Maybe it was always foolish to believe she could.

So... she stabbed Morrigan.

She didn't do it to kill her; Morrigan is the daughter of Flemeth and a powerful mage with healing magic, a mere stab isn't going to kill her.

No, it's about what the stab represents: "I am done with you."

And how the scene plays out? It's so dramatic and good, just the way everything slows down, the music, how they make eye contact as the stabbing happens just....

I know it sounds really bad, and this is the part where I remind everyone that I ADORE Morrigan, but the stabbing ending is so satisfying from a story-telling standpoint for my playthrough.

It's so tragic and it hurts and I hate it.... but I love it, y'know?

I love Witch Hunt, like I haven't even talked about Ariane and Finn, or how the circle just has all these books on Dalish artifacts and translations of elvhen, or how other eluvians can be found with a shard from the broken one in the dalish origin.... like you're telling me that Merrill had a piece of the puzzle? If she had the knowledge, she could've found a working eluvian to study?? I'm going to gnaw my own leg off--

Listen, I could gush about this all day.

But now that I've completely finished DAO, it's time to replay DA2.

[kenny-the-ken]

Y O U + M E |Pt 3|

A LOT OF WARNINGS WITH THIS ONE!!!! ALL AGED UP CHARACTERS AND IN HIGH SCHOOL/COLLEGE!! Loosely based on the Netflix show YOU, if y'all have seen it,,, then you know what Kenny's gonna do. If you haven't seen it,,, strap yourselves in, it's a lot!! Yandre Kenny, strong language, sexual content, violence, mentions of blood, gore, stalking, obsession and narcissistic thinking, so please beware!! I warned y'all!!

ALSO!!! A lot of this fic is written as Kenny's internal monologue and from his perspective so bare that in mind!!

Spring break. The literal bane of my existence. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love parties, I've taken more drugs than most people I know, excluding my parents of course, but Spring Break in the US was known for crazy parties, girls half naked in bikinis, guys chugging 2% alcohol content beers thinking that they're the shit, and copious amounts of drugs.

I don't care about any of that though, no, not at all, which you may be extremely shocked to hear, the only thing I cared about was, what were you doing for spring break?

Were you going to any parties? Were you meeting any friends, old or new? Were you planning to show yourself off in a tiny bikini, not that I'm complaining, but I'd rather see you like that alone, without other men's wondering eyes glaring at you as if you're a piece of meat. I can promise you y/n, that would not end well for anyone involved.

I had texted you this morning, like we do every morning. We fucked but after that it felt like we drifted apart. Or rather, you drifted from me. So here I sit, in my bathroom, cock in hand with my face buried in your used panties that I'd stolen from a while back, I assumed you didn't miss them much, and anyway, they were currently in use.

I'd give anything for another taste, your lips were soft, plumped, and oh so red from how aggressive I can be, your h/c cascaded perfectly down your back, and your breasts.

"Fuck." I knew thinking about you like this would make me cum faster, and that's exactly what I wanted, for reasons you'll find out soon enough.

Your pierced nipples and how perfectly shaped they were, your ass was round and perfect for slapping when you needed taught a lesson. Your hips were perfect for gripping, and oh how I'd grip your hips and fuck myself deeper and deeper and shit.

And just like that, here I am, hand covered in my own jizz, cock twitching between my legs and your panties still in my hand.

I have a box, I keep it under lock and key behind my wardrobe, just some little souvenirs, your panties, some nude Polaroids I'd found of you in your bedroom. Oh yeah, and one of Clyde's teeth. Just to remember him by.

You see, although we weren't dating, that didn't mean that you weren't in need of protection, you see, I'd overheard Clyde chatting to Jimmy about how he was thinking of asking you on a date. Now, I've known Clyde for a long time, he uses women like they're nothing, fucks 'em, leaves 'em.

What did you expect me to do? I mean, I did this for you! He was going to take advantage of your kindness and use you for his own sexual gratification and desires and then throw you away like you're worthless, and you are far from worthless. I'd kiss your feet as you walked the earth if you'd let me, oh how I'd worship you, like you deserve to be.

It wasn't too hard to kill Clyde, you see, when you've been known as a fuck boy before, which I unfortunately have been, other fuck boys, they tend to trust you more. So Clyde was pretty easy to reel in. I told him the truth, how I was working on an English project with you and I fucked you in your bedroom, and Clyde was all over that shit like a dog on heat. He was so focussed on what he was planning to text to you, obviously with my keen eye proof reading it for him, he was too distracted to notice me coming behind him with a brick. He only realised just as it was too late, sorry dude, your skull's caved in.

We needn't worry about the details of where his body is, let's just say... I've taken care of it. And tonight was our date, and also the first night of spring break, I would ask you what you were up to, and of course I wouldn't demand to come, unless you chose to invite me, no, I would just hang out in background, you won't even notice that I'm there. And I dare anyone to try anything, they would be dead men walking.

It didn't take long for the time of our date to roll around, and I stood on your doorstep, politely knocking on your door a few times, before smiling as the door cracked open.

You were breathtaking. I'd worked my ass off at City Wok to be able to afford to take you out to dinner, and my god, no food could ever look as delicious as you looked right now. Your tits, your hips, your ass, your legs, your hair, your face, everything! We were destined to be together, and when you smiled back at me I swore my heart swole in my chest.

"Hey, Kenny. You ready to go?" You asked, pulling your leather jacket on over your short, black dress that was showing off way too much cleavage for me to control myself for the entire evening, god I'd take you right here right now if I could.

"I was born ready, baby. I got these for you." I replied, bowing to you and holding out a small bouquet of flowers, your hand clutching your chest, and a gasp leaving your red stained lips.

"They're beautiful, Ken! Oh you shouldn't have! I'll just go get these into a vase, please come in." You spoke like an angel, and who was I to say no to an invitation into your home?

"I wanted to. I really do mean what I said last time, I've had my eye on you from you moved here, y/n, and you're different than those other girls, you're special, I can tell." You cheeks were flushed which meant that my charm was working. You'd be mine soon, and as much as I wanted to show you off to the world, I also wanted to hide you from it, so no one would dare to try and steal what's rightfully mine, or they'd end up like Clyde. Buried in the middle of fuck knows where.

"Had your eye on me? Not a little stalker are you, McCormick?" You joked, and I hoped it was a joke, you were laughing and so was I, so that was a good sign.

"Not at all! I mean, how could my eyes not go to you when you walk past me? I mean, look at you!" And slinging my arms round your hips would surely make you see that I was nothing but a pure gentleman.

"You're such a flirt, Kenny." God the way you looked at me, it was no surprise that to me that you'd stolen my heart, god the things I would do to you, the things I would do for you, oh they were criminal, but in this moment as I stood staring into your perfect e/c eyes, I couldn't care if my crimes caught up with me, I mean, getting away with it would be easy, trust me, I'm not that stupid.

Around two hours had passed and so far, our date seemed to be going perfectly, you were laughing at my jokes, I flirted, and you flirted right back, you'd told me about a huge spring break party at Tolken's house, you'd asked me to be your plus one, of course I'd gratefully accept, I needed to keep you safe, you even took my hand within your own when we were leaving the restaurant, my plan was working a charm, and you'd invited me in to your house for a quick night cap, no doubt I'd be staying the night.

And when you led me to your bedroom wearing nothing but some skimpy lingerie, I knew that your panties that were in my safe would be getting a much needed night off from being pressed against my face.

You were on top of me, grinding on me, fuck you were so needy, and my cock was growing by the second, I couldn't help but groan and pull your hips down against my own.

I'd swapped the positions, and now you lay beneath me, I'd left dozens of hickeys all over your neck, your breasts, your stomach, thighs, and now I was going to taste your sweet cunt again, god I couldn't wait, it had been too long from I'd tasted you, had my tongue inside you, claiming your insides, god I was starved, and I couldn't wait any longer, and just as I pressed a closed mouth kiss against your parted lips, your fucking phone rang.

"Ignore it. Don't answer." I ordered, my tongue lapping up your wetness, a moan coming from your lips as your phone started ringing again, and of course, being the kind person that you are, you answered.

And this couldn't have been a worse time, your face was worried, and you moved my head from where I wanted desperately to be for the past week, it was your mother.

Drug overdose, she was in hospital and you had to be there to take care of her, not that she ever did the same for you. No, you'd told me previously that our lives were similar in a lot of ways, and that's where my need to protect you came from. You were like a delicate flower awaiting to bloom, but others put you in the dark, stopped you ever from doing so, from ever reaching your full potential, but I was here now. I was going to care for you, I'd put you in the sun and give you all the love and support I could, the perfect partner, a soul mate some may say.

And as you hurried to pull your sweatpants and T-shirt on to your small frame, tears welling in the corners of your eyes, you gave me a hug, whispering sweet apologies, and I offered to come with you, which you declined. And I understood why, I hated people meeting my parents, seeing my sorry excuse of a home, fitted with built in meth lab in the garden. You were embarrassed, ashamed of your drug addict mother, and I felt that pain, I knew it personally. I was strong enough to deal with it, but you darling, you're too fragile, far too good to be feeling that way, and by god would I protect you from anything.

I'm so sorry to say this baby, your mother will never get clean, she's never been clean your entire life, it truly is a miracle that she's lasted this long. I'd be doing you and everyone else a favour. You'd told me this wasn't the first overdose she'd had, and every one made you feel the same way, like you were the parent, like you were at fault, you didn't keep an attentive enough eye on her, the pain you were feeling was soul destroying, not just for you, but for me too! How dare that woman who brought you into this world make you feel so awful, how dare she cause you pain and misery, if she died it would mean she couldn't cause any more of that, sure you'd be sad, but you'd realise in time that life was better without having to worry every time you left the house if you would come back to your mother, her skin blue and covered in her own vomit, which she choked on in her drug idled state.

And I would care for you, I'd be your shoulder to cry on, your support network, your lover and your boyfriend all tied into one, the whole package, you'd fall straight into my lap and I swear, I'd never ever let you go.

I'm sorry hunny, but your mother needs to be dealt with, and it would be easier than you'd think, one bad batch could wipe out hundreds of drug addicts, and besides, it's not as if I'd never used this method before. My parents died of an 'overdose', well, at least that's what the coroner's report said on the matter, Karen was put into my care, and the home was given to us, and life had been so much happier from I did my whole family a favour and took them out of the equation, and I know you will feel the same, in time at least.

As I drove you to the hospital you told me about your childhood. How you'd been in foster care, then your mother cleaned her act up and for a long time she was stable and in recovery, till she met some douchebag when you were ten, and she was back to using again, and your life had never been the same since.

When we pulled up outside the hospital, you hugged me tightly and kissed me twice, telling me that you'd text me later, and thanking me for the lovely evening, I assured you that this was to be the first of many of these delightful evenings, and even in the deepest depths of your pain, you still smiled at me.

I watched you till your figure disappeared inside the hospital, and I knew there and then what had to be done. I'm sorry baby, but your mother isn't good for you, she's not good for you, not good for us!

She had to go, and I had to be the one to kill her.

[neurosky]

Partially venting, but also wondering if anyone else has ever felt this way, either with OCD or without. This is gonna be a lot of words, so I'll put a 'read more' here, I just don't really know how to explain this without overexplaining it??

So, I've been diagnosed with OCD for a few years and I've had it since I was little. My obsessions ranged from harm to getting sick and contamination to needing things to feel just right, and I thought that was it. But since 2020, I've felt this progressing need to know everything about myself. Literally everything.

I feel like I need to write down every single detail that ever happens to me, or document it somehow. With exact dates, quotes, times, all of that. I keep almost everything I've ever written - journals, planners, poems, stories, lists. Even random school assignments dating all the way back to elementary. Every single paper I've ever gotten from the doctor's, even if I know it won't be relevant to anything. I'm terrified of throwing anything away if it documents even a tiny part of my life that I really don't need to remember (like feeding my cat or something).

I go through all of my journals, planners, papers, poems, stories, lists, and everything else constantly, like almost daily. Even when I know I remember something about my life or myself, I need to confirm that I'm remembering it right. If it's not documented, I start questioning if it really happened or if I'm forgetting some tiny detail or something. So I document everything.

I didn't really do this in elementary. I barely did it in middle school, but it actually had a function that helped me in life. But over the past 4 years, it slowly progressed to the point where I'm thinking about this all day, every second of the day. I can't stress enough that I mean it when I say every second of every day.

I don't even know if I do my hobbies because I genuinely like them or because it fits the description of myself that I've documented. I built a life for myself in my head out of all the things I've written down and all the things I've analyzed about myself, but it's gotten to a point where I don't even think the life in my head is the reality that's actually happening. I still talk about playing guitar and write about it even though I only play it a few times a year, because the life in my head involves guitar a lot more than the life I actually have.

I literally don't know who I am anymore. Everything I do, everything I say, every single movement I make is based off of needing to know everything about myself for sure. My therapist brought up that it sounds like part of OCD, the obsessive need to know everything and doubting it even when everything shows that it's real. When I don't know why I'm doing something or what's happening in my head, I literally fall apart. I'm not kidding, there's been weeks where I don't leave my house or talk to anyone because I have to figure it out first.

It's really ironic at this point, because I thought by doing this, I have control over myself. But right now, the control has me.

I'm working through this in therapy, so I'm not posting this so you guys could be a substitute therapist or anything. That's not what this is for. I'm posting this because I'm so confused and I've never met another person who feels the same, even remotely close. I'm also posting this because I can't think of anything else to post, this is all I can think about. So this is what y'all get right now, I'm sorry.

[oloreandil]

*inhales* EEEEEEE

NOT sorry that the post is long, target audience so happy and excited !!! i absolutely love them 🥺🥺🥺 (also what a mood to have a multiverse of your stories... my best friend and i have The Bay and accidentally made like 4 of our stories in there before we realised and made it a cohesive universe. "before" and "after" the Catastrophe / the Exile is also a landmark in our conversations haha)

as i scrolled up to spellcheck i realised this got Long bc i DID have so so so much to say, it's under readmore now lol

cannot wait for the post on Junipero, the playlist is lovely (La petite fille de la mer is wonderful !! so calm. i love Glass Animals !! and Ship in a bottle is a new favourite omg) and if he's your favourite i will love him so so much <33

something in Opal's post did remind me of what you said on Bell and Milo !! we don't have many details on Agnis yet, or Nightingale (pspspsps more v ocposting ?? more details ?? 🥺) but i did get the impression that Some creaturing was going on, with uh. the teeth XD you had not yet said vampire i believe ! and the Bay is also high fantasy / steampunk ???? you would get on so well with my best friend actually, i will have show her your drawings since she's not on social media

maps are Such a pain hahaha i have a playlist saved on how to make fantasy maps and eventually.... i'll work on it for my projects......... i love the idea of the ecosystems, are they also based on specific eras / aesthetics ? what do their interactions look like ? i remember this post about later samurai being concurrent to cowboys and i haven't stopped thinking about it since. uchronia is such an interesting genre but "not actually alternate history" has a particular !!! flavour

wrt the magic, "most of it" is organic you say... does this mean some magic can be stolen, or gained through invocations, or scientifically engineered ? Opal clearly has something going on, what are magic users able to do, does it vary depending on the region too ?

I DO INDEED LOVE THE IDEA OF PROWLERS AAAA is it a solitary title or is there any kind of community / solidarity at all ? would a prowler protect another prowler regardless of current affiliations or are the gangs at odds ? you mention rivals and western aesthetics, is there also a sheriff equivalent ?

Corvid: noooo why did he die ?? if you say "protecting Magpie" i will cry. beware. there's a scar on his cheek, how much did he have to fight ? does he entrust his daughter to Sol and Junipero ??

Magpie: i have adopted her. if anything happened to her i would go on a rampage. she's so cute, the pigtails and the pointy boots !!!

Eden: thigh strap to hold notebook ?? Evergreen because you should have hope in spite of the stupidity of the world around you ?? hmmmmm inchresting... what do they write about ?

Polaris: BLORBO ENERGY. 95% sure they are My Type™️ aka the character i will obsess over unduly XD

Quake: he has... Matt energy....... i love him.... looks up at you like >:C and steals your pen and doodles all over the inn table.....

Gaia and Opal: ok their style is so on point (everyone here. they have my dream clothing. please where are the stores / craft tutorials to dress like them PLEASE). who is their friend ?? what did they do, why are they on the run ? Opal seems magical in some capacity, did that play a role in the stage performance ? do they have owl powers (mask detail) like sight enhancement ?

Amelie: has she met Bell :0 it's a huge change to leave the sea for the desert ! she looks so funny and warm i love herrr

Cobalt: "i don't like any of y'all. i am here for the spectacle of your antics. wym i almost got killed to save you when i could have run it's not like that-" smh !!!

Akila: meanwhile she actually has the emotional self-preservation shield on :(( i give her a hug. what is the flower on her necklace ?

Wendy: i am available for bridal carry whenever she wants <333 she looks so safe !!! cane-umbrellas are so effortlessly cool and threatening, too !!

Blair: arrowhead painting is a new form of art !! she's a pioneer. i see her vision. thankfully for her my pockets are full of silly knick-knacks and she could probably have fun with them hehe

i'm happy to report i would like to know more on everything, and have already asked so many questions XD but that is a lot so first. HMMMM. Eden Polaris and Quake bc i am predictable haha. do any of them have powers ? (besides Opal who i have apparently arbitrarily decided has some ekjntr) Quake... earthquake..... yes. i have many questions

and if you wanna share more about the rival gangs i'd be so so happy !!! v ocposting enabling is so strong you feel it radiating across the channel. if you are not resting this is going to change real quick into "tuck you in" energy btw !!! i won't hesitate

thank you for writing so much 🥺 i love them i love them i love them

always here to ask for more ocposting hehehe you said you'd make a post on Sol's boyfriend ? 🥺👉👈

and if you wanna expand more beyond just chara designs, what's the plot of the story ? the word "prowlers" is so evocative, what do they do in the desert ? what are the fantasy elements, is there magic and/or creatures ? who is the rest of the found family ? is it based on any country, or usa-specific since you said cowboys ? (cut for length bc else i'll be here all day asking questions... but i can come back if you're ok with it ^^)

take very good care <333 love to see your art as always !!!!

i’m always ok with your questions!! i love when people pick my brains about my characters,, knowing people are interested is my ultimate comfort fr :) sorry everybody this is going to be a looong post but we have a lot to cover!! i’m gonna split this into sections for readability 

sol’s boyf,,, junipero,, has his own post in the works trust me you’ll be meeting him very soon! he ALSO happens to be one of my all time fav ocs,, in fact i made him his own playlist just like sol! (linking it here as a little preview of his vibes before u see him!)

I’m a character designer & artist first and foremost BUT i love writing and am trying to branch out so full steam ahead!! pedal to floor it’s LORE TIME (did i write this in docs like a draft before posting it, yes i did, only the best quality ramblings for olorea!!)

what's the plot of the story ?

okay so because i’ve had this oc world since i was a kiddo there are several stories within the world in a set timeline,, and it’d take me a million years to go through it all in one post hhhh,,, i have to say though that creating characters and connecting all the proverbial dots is so so fun. atp every character has their own separate & unique story that i hope to draw and/or write in my own time

as a general rule, though for simplicity i measure the ‘main story’ based on bell & nightingale’s arcs since they’re the ‘main protagonists’. so when you hear me say ‘before the story��� what i really mean is ‘before gale or bell meets x character and ropes them into The Shenanigans’ 

i might revamp my toyhouse acc just so you all can have easy access to my characters and their lore!! 

I’m terrible at self categorisation but i’d say that this whole story is a sort of steampunky/high fantasy with some dystopia & political drama thrown in there, it honestly depends on whose story you’re reading haha 

is it based on any country, or usa-specific since you said cowboys ?

it actually isn’t based on any real country! i completely abandoned real world geography for this story for my own sake,, the world is pretty much split into factions with their own ecosystems! the map of the world is a whole different story,,, i’ll have to remake that soon… but yeah!! 

for the desert region i borrowed the lawlessness of the old west and the visual aesthetics of old westerns!! i take several artistic liberties, though, i make it a tad more whimsical

what are the fantasy elements, is there magic and/or creatures ?

in short yes!! this is a fantasy where a lot of characters have magic abilities of some kind! think of most of the magic-users like sorcerers in dnd! arcane abilities that they’re born with,, either that or they’re creatures of some kind/based on animals or cryptids (see agnis the vampire among others). most magic is,, organic? is that the word? it occurs naturally. most of it… 

the word "prowlers" is so evocative, what do they do in the desert ?

‘prowlers’ is the colloquial term for the outlaws and criminals of the desert!! pretty much any socially nonconforming or unlawful person is given that label whether they actually committed a crime or not,, and most wear it like a badge of honour tbh. upperclass folk tend to look down on prowlers unfortunately and they have the reputation of sinister people-not-to-be-messed-with. calling oneself a prowler both protects you and puts a target on your back. 

who is the rest of the found family ?

the family come from all over! a lot of the members of the corviday gang left their home nations to escape traumas back home and found comfort in an unconventional ‘criminal’ community with no expectations set upon them and no prying questions to be asked. comfort in the outskirts of society, if u will. here’s a list of them all in no particular order!

corvid:

the previous leader who passed away before the story (see? hehe, the story). sol takes on the role of de facto leader afer he’s gone. 

magpie:

corvid’s daughter, a young bard who finds inspiration in the world around her no matter how bleak

eden & polaris:

eden, a jack-of-all-trades author who writes under the pseudonym ‘evergreen’. he is so done with everybody else’s nonsense, and his sibling polaris! a mute ex guard who has a frosty and intense personality. 

quake:

eden & polaris’ kid brother, a young and scrappy aspiring inventor with unmatched wit and problem-solving skills

gaia & opal: 

gaia & her girlfriend opal are ex stage performers who fled stardom to support a friend of theirs who went on the run

aimi:

amelie, aimi for short, is a young ex pirate who deserted her crew for a life in the desert 

cobalt:

a career criminal from a family of miners, he claims to only stick with the gang for a laugh. 

akila: 

an ex training instructor from the capitol city’s military, akila uses her strategist mind to help keep the gang afloat. she keeps her distance, having dealt with loss before and not being eager to repeat the experience. 

wendy:

a motherly former innkeeper, wendy has an admirable knack for business and ability to sway people’s opinions. she could probably carry you bridal style effortlessly. yes, you.

blair:

a free spirited traveling painter with a surprising affinity for weapons. practically a professional pickpocket. 

i kept everybody’s descriptions short n sweet for this post because of the length but if anyone wants to know more about any of these guys please ask me abt it!! i’m happy to expand on any of em. there are other characters who orbit the gang, rival groups and of course some of them still have surviving family members… i’m expanding alllll of my lore :’)))

this post took a minute but i hope it was worth it!! I love these crazys sm i will draw them soon

here's some higher quality versions of the art for anybody who wants to get a good look at them all!!

[strayfriend]

You know what else pisses me off about Killing Eve?

How dare they make me watch both of them fuck dudes?? In a queer story about women who are clearly obsessed and infatuated with each other... We have to see them both fuck dudes? And NOT each other.

I am really sick of seeing straight sex y'all I want to never see straights doing it again ever ever ever in my life. I have had enough.

Sorry I won't shut up about this show lately, I am still so disgusted by the ending and now my brain is just grabbing at whatever little minor detail I can throw against the walls and yell about.

[grizzee11]

Sharpwin Overload

Ya'll I'm tired as hell! I can't tell you how many times I've watched the scenes between sharpwin from 3x12. Its been watched over and over to the point my eyeballs hurt 😫 BUT I keep getting new details I've missed or am simply obsessed about. From Max calling Helen's name when he woke up, trying to decipher if he said "I love you" in the shower, analyzing every touch between them, Max holding her while caressing her body close to his, if Reynolds would get a reaction seeing the intimacy between Max/Helen (he had to of seen it), and wondering how they will unfold on the next episode.

This has to be THE most enduring, heartfelt, romantic, electric soul binding relationship I've ever seen on TV and Max/Helen haven't even kissed, had sex, nor are a couple yet! Their chemistry is off the charts and I'm so thankful that the creater/writers saw the potential in Ryan/Freema to go with it (and look how amazing its turned out). Other shows need to take notes; instead of being scared with how two actors' chemistry might affect their story, just go with the flow. Its too rare to have this type of on-screen chemistry between two people.

I can't tell you how much I hated Person of Interest and the way they did Joss Carter because they didn't like the direction the relationship was going with the main character Reese. The writers on the show loved writing them together and even the CEO of CBS wanted them to have more scenes barely into the beginning of season 1. That's how magical they were and instead of going with the magic, the creator literally sunk his show and got everyone pissed off by killing her off. The CEO of CBS even threw him under the bus for trying to fix something that wasn't broken. Taraji who played Joss Carter had to do a whole PR damage control to explain why she left but on good graces which was bull; they wanted her gone. Thank God Jim Caviezel impromptu their kissing scene on the last episode because he knew their characters were supposed to be together.

Sorry for ranting but that show really pissed me off and left a sour taste in my mouth. It was the first show I loved to the max and I wanted it to be cancelled for the way they treated Joss/Taraji and I'm glad they did get cancelled and she went off to Empire and became a bigger star while that show tanked (Karma is a bitch!!!). Shows like that along with others like Sleepy Hollow happens in a reoccurance for no reason to where its hard to root for a ship if a black woman is factored into the equation who happens to have chemistry with the main lead. Luckily New Amsterdam is doing it right (even if they've dragged it a bit too long) and look how rewarding its become. I don't think this show would be as great as it is had Max stayed with his wife and never having scenes with Helen. The show has a great concept revolving around the hospital but shapwin just makes it a whole lot better!

P.S- Can you imagine once they do become a couple?! Cuddling in bed, love scenes, kisses 😘, hugging, holding hands, dinner night, pregnancy (Helen still wants a child y'all), Helen being a mother to Luna, balancing work life with family time, sexual gazes, oh and let's not forget office sex after a silly arguement lol.

I can't wait to see the next episode! Will they kiss on the rooftop or do more after his custody meeting back at his/her place once everything is resolved 🤔? I have a feeling they are going to make love either on the 13th or 14th episode to give us everything. That will eclipse any kiss (hell the shower scene felt better than any kiss I was anticipating) and Reynolds might take over as Deputy Director so Max can have more time with Luna (to shut his in-laws up)and for Helen. And to he honest its the right choice because he is struggling with his work schedule and being a single father. My predictions have been wayyy off since this season but overall we've come a long way with sharpwin's journey and I'm savoring every little morsel I can... on repeat if necessary lmao 🤣

[nightswithkookmin]

JIKOOK:DON'T ASK ME TO STOP LOVING YOU. I WON'T- Jikook Shading eachother pt3

Disclaimer:

Everything expressed in her is my opinion. It is not intended to be malicious or disrespectful to any of the parties here in mentioned. Please don't be weird.

Jeon Jungkook is in love with Park Jimin. Period. If you have doubts, take my word for it. That man heard a bell ring and he's been following that jingle sound till thy kingdom come. Bless him.

No, I am not off track. We are still on the Jikook breakup/fights 2020 train and it's express. Beep beeeeep! Sorry.

Jk loves Jimin and it is the cause of all his woes- with Jimin as well as with the other bandmates. His problem is he loves that man- too much.

Yes, the 2019 November-December tensions with his bandmates was all because he keeps blurring the lines between his relationship and his career. He is lucky, both of them are lucky that they found eachother in a space like this where they have the opportunity to love and still have it all. Trust me, it's rare.

Except JK didn't join BTS to pursue a career. Bless him. He went there to harvest him some sweet love. Lol. Jokes aside, Jk when he started out had no goals, no ambitions whatsoever. He was young. He was just following the path set out for him by his parents perhaps, his teachers- and also he thought Namjoon's thighs were hella delicious. Lol

He has had to grow to love and appreciate his craft and career just as he's said in the recent Japan comeback interviews. He even almost quit singing to go be a dancer and all it took was Jimin telling him he had an amazing voice for him to stay- the power of park Jimin!

That's how young and naive he was when he began his career path. Let's get a bit deep and psychoanalyze him real quick. He made an entire life decision to join a boyband for seven years not because he loved to sing and dance but because he admired the zeal od RM?

Then when layer he was exposed to dance, and had to make an equally important life decision, he allowed another bandmate(Jimin) to make that decision for him. This should tell you the state of his mind as at the time. He was young and impressionable with no aspirations of his own.

Even as of 2019, he said he had no idea what he was going to do with his life after BTS had the band disbanded in 2018. That's a lot of experience span to not know what he wants to do with his life.

Now I don't mean to say he is immature but we all know the members especially Jimin have pointed out time and again that JK is in fact immature or can be.....

He seems to me as the type who still have a lot to figure out and per his recent interviews where he's talked about taking time to himself to work on himself and his hobbies etc. I have a feeling 2020 has been a period of awakening for him. A period where he is self actualizing a lot and I'm happy for him.

But it is what is causing this age of enlightenment in his life that has me curious.

Moving on, this young, naive, impressionable JK as he was in the early days of BTS started developed feelings for his hyung. Do you see the problem? I'll wait....

These feelings, I assume, began as pure admiration and fondness of Jimin. Jimin was this talented and hardworking, spontaneous, energetic hyung and JK with an impressionable mind as his was was bedazzled by him.

Soon these feelings would morph into what could be seen as an obsession, infatuation and then finally love.

The way I see it, loving Jimin gave him purpose for the first time in his young life. He may not have known much about his life goals and ambitions but he knew being with Jimin gave him a solid ground to stand on, a new sense of direction, certainty and purpose.

He got to share in Jimin's passions, share his with him, dance together, sing, practice, rehearse, make him the subject of his photography, the subject of his attention, care for him, be cared for by him- something he hadn't had the chance to experience from home before he was yanked away into idol life.

Growing up, we all experience that moment where we imprint on friends and relatives. My uncle was my mentor as well as my elder brother too. I admired them so much I sometimes confused that with romantic love till I got socialized properly.

Jk's socialization was.... He....

-Jk may be an introvert but he thrives and shines best when he partners up or is in a group like BTS or his friends group etc and Jimin i feel was the ideal partner for him; his queerness, his adventurousness, pushing JK's boundaries, challenging his beliefs, showing him how to have a good time- ok I really want this Jimin back! Like right now!

Jimin left an impression on JK's young mind. He imprinted on him. And for the longest time, we've seen the way he stares at Jimin.JK really loves Jimin.

So what's the problem?? Loving JM is consuming his mind y'all. It's all he thinks off. All he cares of. He seems super hyper focused on Jimin so much so that it is affecting the dynamics of their group.

His jealousy,possessiveness- He knows he has to keep his relationship a secret for the sake of the group because it is their secret too and yet he just can't help himself.

I feel RM and the others complain a lot about how he let's his jealousy get the best of him. Like how he almost exposed JM as his boyfriend on several occasions verbally( see previous post for further details)

Like how him getting jealous and possessive gives them away more often. I mean JM is bad at hiding it too but let's be honest JK isn't winning any awards with that bad acting. *sigh. He is hopeless.

But yes this is what led to the MMA standoff with RM. It is also the reason for the tensions between Jikook during Jin's birthday VLive (JM asked him to keep his distance because the members had tried to separate them earlier and so JM was just being salty af during this period. It had nothing to do with JK but the others. See Golden Disc and you'll understand)

This also led to their subsequent break up( which you will notice during the comeback interviews and promotions periods- I don't know about you but they were giving off two exes tryna to keep it happy for the cameras during that period but failed cos their interaction were just....)

PS: there are a lot of moments I want to point out but don't know where to begin cos there are a lot.

The blackswan behind scenes moments( JM asking JK if he he wanted to be in a subunit with someone else, JM making JK jealous during the interviews, JK using Tae to make JM jealous the next day, JK holding JMs hands not wanting to let go- he was missing his ex. Lol it's what you do when you have to be friends with that ex you still love and won't hesitate to touch them given the slightest opportunity and once you do you don'twanna let go)

Just look at that whole On comeback promotion moments. You'll understand what I mean.

Also the Run episode moments- you know the one JK almost beat Suga up with the frying pan- JM for this phase seemed to be to be trying to get back together with JK. Dude was clingy as fuck! And for once he was on his best behaviour, trying his hardest not to make JK jealous. I mean the Run behind scenes moment where JM was helping Tae clean off food residue on his mouth but stopped immediately when JK lifted his head. *insert skull head emoji. Lol

To say JM was a bit clingy during this getting back together phase would be an understatement. Remember his clingy moments during Suga's birthday Vlive 2020? And during Festa too? He was trying to get JK's attention and also impress him throughout.

Around this breakup moment too was when he was spending a lot of time with Tae playing video games with Army, posting their selfies at 4 AM and what not. It is also the same period he posted a picture of himself with his dogs on Twitter and said he was trying to spend time with loved ones- if that wasn't shade to JK!

They couldn't post 13th May because of these issues they were having. Not that JM didn't try though. He posted on the 1st, JK should have followed with 3rd but did was busy pouting somewhere. JM still gave us a 5/8=13 selca though so yaay!

What I'm trying to say is, their fight has been about JK not wanting to be separated from JM and JM asking JK to cool it off for a while to not cause trouble with the members and the company.

To which Jk responds with:

1. Interrupting JM's call with Jin during his VLive to ask him on a date and say I love you to him. Dude is a rebel, I don't know what you want me to say. He is not gonna cool it just because it makes the other worried he is exposing them too much.

Jk interrupting JMs live I feel got Jikook in trouble because after that Vlive JM never did a solo live on VLive again to this day. His subsequent lives have all been on YouTube.

I have a feeling he was penalized because that VLive exposed them. And no, I'm not being delusional. Jikook were both banned from doing a VLive together alone following their New Jersey VLIVE in 2019 when they- I don't even know how to describe what they did in that live!

And to make it less obvious, I think BigHit decided the others should stop doing solo Vlives on VLive altogether because now they all do their solo lives on YouTube as well and if they have to do a Vlive it is heavily monitored by BigHit staff or its radio and not done in their rooms too.

So I think Jimin got pissed at JK for doing that and getting them in trouble again. I mean if you heard him sigh during the new Jersey VLive you would know how frustrated JK makes him. He loves him too but.... Jk can be a bit too much ya know?!

Anyhoo, so I believe JM called for some space and told JK to take up interests in other things beside him and I don't know how JK took it but he responded with this:

Posting the cover of the song Not Never. Which was him basically saying for as long as he lives he will not never think about JM. As in he is never not ever keeping away from JM. We might have to pry Jimin from his cold hands! *sigh

Which leads to the radio Vlives moments,

Something Jimin said during his interview with suga caught my attention. He said it was nice that they get to speak with Armies at least like this. I believe all these were putting a lot of stress on Jimin as he has decided to take a break off social media prior to him saying so on this interview. But the wording of that statement also made be believe some thing or someone was preventing him from talking to Armies in the usual manner.

Earlier with RM he had said how he would go crazy if they weren't allowed to do certain things he was used to doing on stage as well. So that also raised a flag to me.

I had a feeling Suga had invited JM on that Radio live to address his 'issues'- including his issues with JK. Jikook have a subtle way of communicating with each other and somehow social media has a huge part in that. They not the only ones, Beyonce and JayZ also addressed their relationship issues through their music, going back and forth yet they lived together. I DONT UNDERSTAND THESE CELEBRITIES!!!

Sorry for the rant. Anyway I had a feeling JK was listening to the radio interview too.

Suga asked JM why he didn't come to his music video set to support him- which I believe he was referring to his Daechwita shoot. JM didn't go because, take a guess...

JK was there too. Lol. He had gone with Jin and even ended up filming a part in the music video. My guess is Jk thought Jimin was gonna be there because he always go to Support Suga and the others in times like that.

So Jimin responds with 'were you expecting me? .... I didn't come because I want you to want me more.' Now that's an absolutely random response don't you think? He couldhave said something logical like he had to record at a studio or something- unless he wasn't talking about Suga but was sending that message to someone else who was listening in. A certain man with a JM tatto ring on his ring finger perhaps??

JM from this response revealed he intentionally missed that shoot. He knew JK would be there and he wanted him to ask where JM was at it he wasn't at the shoot. It's also interesting how during this period JK was spending a lot of time with Jin. When he interrupted JM's Vlive call he was with Jin. He went with Jin to Suga's MV and Jin posted a selca of him and shirtless Jk dieimh this period too while JM was mostly seen with Tae. What does this remind you of??

MANILA. same thing happened when they had that Manila fight. Jin was with JM and we all know who was siding with JK!

Why would JM say he wants to be enacted more? Easy- He a slytherin and a Libra and those two mixed together is sinister. Kidding.

I believe JK intentionally took a step back from JM, to give him the space he wanted and it had JM feeling someway about it. Probably had him feeling JK didn't want him as much anymore. Dude is insecure we been known. He a Libra and a slytherin what y'all expect?

So I'm guessing JM put up the classic textbook attitude towards JK which had JK all confused because he had no idea what their issues were anymore or why his boyfriend was spending his nights at Tae. You want space, you got it. Why you mad?

So JK reaches out to Suga for help. because the intention was fix his relationship not have it plummet. Dude is in love with this man and will do whatever it takes to keep his relationship. *Sigh

Suga comes through for him with the interview. And I think JK put two and two together- literally. He comes up with still with you a few days after JM's interview and does a radio interview with Suga as well.

Now the focus of this interview was his "apology to Armies for his scandal.' But funny, cos his scandal happened a month before the interview. Suga radio had been ongoing after the scandal and yet this man didn't think once to come on it and apologize to Armies about an incident that BigHit had already addressed until JMs interview.

You don't talk about scandals. That's the protocol.

Let me also point out JK has had several scandals in the past of which he had never addressed in a Vlive let alone apologize in that way. Not saying he wouldn't, he hasn't. They themselves don't address scandals unofficially, that's the protocol and he knows it.

If they were allowed to think Armies would be more interested in him addressing the Tatoo gurl scandal not his Friday night happy hours with his friends. That apology was for Jimin not armies.

Also, he pointed out how still with you was written when he was alone in the dark thinking by himself. That sounds to me like something you do when you've had a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend and they've packed their things and left your shared apartment.

Interestingly, Jk mentioned during Festa the rain fight. Still with you literally has rain drops sounds in the beginning of the song and also on the cover on sound cloud. Seems to me that whatever happened that night had JK reminiscing about times he'd fought with JM- the rain fight. Which is what inspired still with you (I will do a full analysis of that song and others soon here on my blog'

Yea, so he apologized to JM for their fight I guess and said he loves Army. *smirk.

And things started falling into place right after that. They started- Jikooking again. Jk called JM out on Weverse so they start their online flirting thingy- posting immediately after each other, 13, those kinda things

Things seemed good. Untill their Japan interviews when JK said spending time alone pursuing new hobbies was gold to him and JM saying maintaining his relationships with friends and family is good to him. Seems JK is still salty about JM wanting space. It will take sometime for him to get used to not being around JM 24/7. Know what I mean?

I don't think there was major tension there. Just two lovebirds shading eachother. *smirk I mean the passive aggressiveness of it all. Lol

I have a feeling JK will keep jabbing at JM with that because let's face it, he is the emo one in that relationship and most importantly he loves JM with all his being and wants to be with him always. A partner asking for space can feel like they are pushing you away or rejecting you. It triggers a lot of insecurities so I understand JK in that sense. They are both not wrong in my opinion. Space can be a good thing and hey at least JK got to read a whole book during this time! Who woulda thought!

And quiet honestly, if Jikook are real as I believe they are then these issues they are having pales in comparison to the hurdles that lie ahead of them for when they decide to come out or live as a forever couple.

I guess It is why JK put these lyrics in GCF Helsinki at JMs part:

Why do you spend your time leading the chorus,

When the war was just waiting before us?

As if you didn't know

I guess it's sums up what Jikook were dealing with during that period of you take into consideration the fact this was released end of December/ early 2020.

Jimin pays too much attention to what people thinks of their relationship as if he didn't know what he was getting himself into. ...

This has been a long one, chai! Sorry. I get carried away sometimes talking about Jikook. Lol.

So what is the state of their relationship? They good. I been told y'all JK is trying to bring back their old online filtering habits. He did it on Weverse when he posted about him reading and asking what JM was doing forcing JM to come out with a response.

He did the same yesterday when he posted a cover song after JM posted his selca on Twitter. They good. They more than good I believe. I will keep observing and will update y'all with my observations as and when.

Oh and I will be doing an analysis of his new cover may be later tonight. Until then its Jikook forever bishes! Gang, gang, gang,

I'M OUT!

[atamascolily]

lily liveblogs “terminator: dark fate”, part 2

“It’s raining men (and women)”.... hallelujah? Or not, as the case may be.

(For those just joining us, part one is here)

I was kinda hoping they would run the credits  after the title, but I guess filmmakers... don't do that anymore, because we all have short attention spans these days?? Some of that is George Lucas's fault, I know, but tbh I kinda enjoy the creative ways in which filmmakers USED that space occupied by the opening credits... like how The Karate Kid uses it for Daniel and Lucille's road trip between Jersey and California, how it establishes how many friends Daniel had, the importance of his bike, and the whole "putting the car in neutral" and rolling it to get the engine going AND the motif/promise of the pool... all in a minute or two. Magical.  I kinda miss that compared to earlier films.

Anyway, highway at night in what the screen tells me is Mexico City 22 years later. Okay, then. There's ice... and then lightning crackling on the road edge, which can only mean one thing -- a visitor from the future!!

There's a woman making out with her boyfriend underneath the highway, and she says "Oh, my god," and the boyfriend thinks it's all his doing, LOL. Sorry, dude, not today.

THE SPHERE IS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY OVERPASS, HOLY FUCK, WHO SET THOSE COORDINATES?? It's a good thing the spheres destroy everything around them, or else this movie would be very, very short.

As it is, Grace falls naked from a great height, banging on supports as she goes down. Ow. Great way of showing she's not quite human.

Of course the watching girl goes over to help while her boyfriend sits there slack-jawed until she shames him into going along. They pick her up and carry her towards their car, only for the police to show up and demand to know what's going on. They think that they're drug dealers (?) and don't believe that she fell from a bridge.

"I love it when it rains naked ladies," says the cop, which is movie-speak for, "I'm an asshole about to get my ass kicked and the audience is going to cheer while it happens".

He grabs her, and Grace sees his gun, and goes for it. Yup, he's down. She's got some sort of augmented vision like the Terminator though anyone who's seen the trailer knows already she's on the side of good.

Grace takes out all the cops completely naked, and I love how this scene is filmed because it's so not focused on anything sexual and it's not sexualized at all, at least for the male gaze that I can tell. It's just... a naked woman kicking ass without obsessing over the fact that she's naked, and it's so goddamn refreshing.

The boyfriend thinks she's amazing. His girlfriend walks over and hugs him. Grace strides up to him and compares her bare foot to his boot. "Don't thank me yet," she says in a deadpan.

Cut to Grace wearing his clothes driving away in his car as the boyfriend stands around in his boxers and yells for her to go to hell. And I like this because it's so much more effective  this way to leave the details in the reader's head and show us the results. The girlfriend steers him away, and he starts blaming her, for getting them involved in the first place. Fuck you, dude. I hope she dumps him that night, too.

Cut to Dani in the street somewhere, carrying flowers and chatting with a tamale vendor. We learn from this that she always has flowers -- an association with life and spirit, and not letting the grind get you down. I approve.  

Dani has a brother, Diego, who wants to be a pop star, and a father whom she reminds to go to the doctor. Caretaker of the family! Of course they have a dog, named Taco. I'm sure this will be relevant later. I hope Taco survives. Diego tries to chat up a neighbor named Julia, and I'm sure this will all end tragically. I hope she survives.

Dani and Diego leave just in time... for another naked person to drop from the sky in a glowing electric sphere! What are the odd??!

Okay, I don't remember the spheres forming ice in previous films, but it's a cool detail that it makes all the laundry on the lines freeze and shatter... so it's gotta be SUPER COLD. Like, liquid-nitrogen levels of cold.

Like Grace's sphere, this one drops its inhabitant off in mid-air, but the Terminator is able to do a beautiful leap and land on his feet like a cat. He looks like a marble sculpture here - beautiful, smooth, polished, muscled grace. Hot damn. There is absolutely no emotion on his face as he stands up, and even without the music cues, you know right away something is wrong.

There's a woman staring at him when he turns around. And now he looks friendly... earnest, helpful. "Good morning," he says in Spanish as he reaches out to touch the jacket she has in her hand, and it spills up out of his skin HOLY FUCK THAT IS CREEPY AND AMAZING at the same time.

The woman FREAKS OUT and he SMILES at her ever so slightly, and--

Cut to a busy city street. Unlike the highway where Grace appeared, this in the middle of the city, with lots of apartment buildings and traffic. Dani and Diego are on a bus.

Cut to Dani's father answering a knock on the door while Taco the dog barks hysterically. I know, I know, I'm so sorry, Taco. There's the Terminator, and he's so charming and earnest in his plaid jacket, looking for Dani. He claims to be a friend. Her father is shocked. "That's strange. Her friends call her Dani..."

"Dani?" repeats the Terminator. "Yes, of course." AND HE SMILES... fuck. A TERMINATOR THAT CAN MIMIC HUMAN FACIAL EXPRESSIONS AND SHOW EMOTIONS I AM NOT PREPARED FOR THIS.

(but it actually makes PERFECT SENSE for reasons that will be explained later [kinda] in the film!!!!)

Cut to a factory. Arius Motors. Dani and Diego going in to work as cars swing by on the line. There are robot arms and it's all very timely and metaphorical. Somebody goes by on a bicycle INSIDE THE FACTORY and I have no idea how that works, but okay.

Diego's station has been replaced by "a new guy,"--an orange robot arm. Dani asks the supervisor what's going on and he says, "The future," and the manager wants to see Diego in his office. Dani goes in his place, the supervisor says no, Dani pulls out her hair tie, and goes anyway. THIS IS WHY SHE'S THE LEADER OF THE MOTHERFUCKING RESISTANCE, Y'ALL, she’s ALREADY taking no shit from robots. 

Dani's father shows up at the factory claiming his kids forgot their lunch and can he come in? Poor dad is definitely dead. I hope Taco at least survived, but I doubt it. Meanwhile Grace is approaching and just leaps over the turnstile like it's no big deal and I LOVE IT. Then she follows a security guard into a corner and mugs him for his uniform and it's all so goddamn quick.

The security guard tells "Dad" that he can't come in without a helmet and vest, which is bullshit, because most of the employees don't wear them, but whatever. Grace keeps walking. How the fuck did she dress so fast, but she looks great. She's got a jacket awkwardly covering her gun, and it's not subtle, but no one seems to notice.

Dani is arguing with the boss, who is... American? At least he's speaking English. She's trying to keep her brother's job, but he's all "well, he's not as good as you are," and Dani is Not Having It. She threatens to tell them that machines are coming for ALL the jobs, and god, I love her so much because EVEN WITHOUT TERMINATORS MESSING UP HER LIFE, SHE WAS GONNA GO PLACES.

"Dad" goes to Dani's station and she isn't there, but he talks to Diego. (I don't know how he knows so much, but I'm sure it wasn't pretty.) The Terminator makes that lame excuse about bringing lunches, and Diego is confused, because Dani already took care of that--

Then Dani shows up and the lunch morphs into a gun, and I'm not sure how they did that, because wasn't the morphing stuff not supposed to MAKE GUNS--ok, maybe he took the security guard's gun and morphed the lunch OVER it as a cover with his polyalloy bits--but FUCK this dude is SCARY--and points the gun at Dani as she and Diego stare--only to have his head blown open as Grace fires.

Grace keeps shooting as Dani screams, and grabs Dani before she can get to "Dad". Grace is way better at explaining things than Kyle Reese: "That is NOT your father. That was a machine that sent here to kill you. " It helps that the Terminator has lots of metal bits exposed at this point, and rapidly shifting back to normal. Come with me or you're dead in the next thirty seconds!"

Dani doesn't buy this, but she runs as Grace shepherds both her and Diego away.

And that back arch as the Terminator sits up and regenerates back to his "original" persona--which, I'll note, he DIDN't steal from anyone in our present; it was the one he came with UNLIKE the T-1000 in T2--and it's scary as hell. And even watching him run, and leap--it's not human. It's a predator disguised in human form. Well done, filmmakers.

I like how they show Grace's augmented senses here, and how she has the extra warning to shove Dani and Diego out of the way when the Terminator goes flying for her. He slices her cap off with arms that are suddenly sword-knives, and she swings a mallet at him, knocking him flat--and flinging him into a wall when she hits him again. She is really fucking strong, and I've never seen a woman be this strong before and it's AMAZING.

She hits him on the head over and over again, and then he starts crawling up the mallet towards her and it's so creepy HOLY FUCK and then he sends her sprawling and pops the mallet back out of his head OH MY GOD.

Grace starts using a piece of car siding as shield because she lost her weapon, keeping herself between the Terminator and Dani at all times.

Diego crushes him with a machine--I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE, FILMMAKERS, NICE CALLBACK. Unfortunately, it doesn't take, but it does give them some breathing room. Meanwhile, Grace is tired and out of breath, and visibly overheating. The perfect time to introduce herself to Dani!

Grace explains the situation on the run, and throws Diego into the truck they steal outside when he hesitates. I gotta hand it to her, she's doing this whole thing pretty well.

Diego sees her arm. "Are you a machine too?" "No I'm human, like you!" They don't believe her. "No, I'm augmented." THIS IS GOING TO BE A THEME, OH MY GOD. More on this later. Grace can argue with them AND hotwire the truck at the same time. #goals.

They bust out of the factory. The police immediately go after them, not sure how that worked, and Grace says "Oh, shit," seconds before the Terminator (now revealed as the Rev-9) busts through the wall with a truck and a... snowplow? I guess it's for moving stone and metal bits around the factory? Whatever. It's a lot. The police cars go flying.

Somehow Grace manages to drive AND explain backstory at the same time, which I admire, because I can barely talk and drive at the same time.

There's a lot of civilian casualties, mostly due to the Rev-9 snowplowing everything. They end up going backwards up the highway off-ramp and onto the highway. The Rev-9 busts through more things and loses the snowplow. It's a bad day to be driving in Mexico City, let's just say that much.

Grace gets the first "FUCK!" of the movie, as the check engine light of the truck comes on, so Dani gets to drive while Grace makes improvised weapons out of rebar. Oh, wait, Dani can't drive, so Diego gets to do it. (Hahaha, I guess Dani's going to learn how to drive soon because METAPHOR)

Graces eases off her jacket so she can blow off steam and leaps into the back of the truck, yelling for Dani to put her seatbelt on OH MY GOD THIS MOVIE. I love it.

She targets the Rev-9 and throws. He doesn't even flinch at the first one and catches the second one. She stabs him several times through and then he grabs the rebar and moves the polymetallic alloy portion of himself onto the front of the truck while the metallic Terminator skeleton drives.

[COMBINING THOSE TWO PARTS IS REALLY CREEPY AND ALSO THE BEST DECISION THEY COULD HAVE MADE 10/10 APPROVED]

It looks like the skeleton is laughing at Grace, but I think that's just his resting bitch face, lol.

Grace changes tactics and shoots for the tires. The Rev-9 jumps and throws a rebar back at her and Grace deflects it so it misses Dani. Then the truck is dragging the Rev-9's protoplasm while the other half crashes and Grace has to fend him off. Rev-9 takes this opportunity and slashes at the tires with his sword-hands. Grace kicks him off and he gets run over, but it won't take. Diego crashes the truck as the tire blows and Grace rolls and takes a bad fall onto the pavement. The Rev-9's skeleton crawls out of the flames.

DANI WORE HER SEATBELT SO SHE'S FINE WHILE DIEGO DIDN'T AND IS INJURED OH MY GOD THIS MOVIE THE DETAILS FUUUUUUCCCKKKK. Like, Grace knew Dani had to wear her seatbelt BECAUSE SHE'S FROM THE FUTURE AND OLDER!DANI TOLD HER TO DO IT! And younger!Dani DID IT! OH my GOD! (either that or they really are just that drift compatible)

Oh, no, Diego has rebar through him, he's not going to survive AAAAAAAAH no whhhhhhyyyyy

Meanwhile, some poor motorist tries to help the Rev-9 and is murdered for his troubles. sigh.

Grace has to pull Dani over the body of her dying brother seconds before the Rev-9 smashes into the car and everything explodes in fire. Dani tries to run to Diego and Grace holds her back. Grace makes Dani run.

All of the Rev-9's protoplasm is oozing back towards the skeleton in liquid dark smears on the ground and it's so creepy FUUUUCCKKKK

Oh god HE WALKS THROUGH THE METAL HIGHWAY GUARD LIKE IT'S NO BIG DEAL HOW CREEPY CAN YOU GET FUUUUCCKKK

And then the skeleton starts throwing rebar at them from the other SIDE fuuuuckk. this movie so isn't subtle, because there's the machine part and the human-looking part, and they're both working together as one, and this is a METAPHOR, we're meant to see the Rev-9 and Grace as FOILS to each other AAHHHHHH and the Rev-9 is also a SYMBOL OF WHAT HUMANITY CAN BECOME IF IT MELDS WITH AI, AHHHHHHH

Can I just note here that the skeleton part DOES NOT HAVE A ROUND HEAD THERE IS IN FACT A GAP WHERE ITS BRAIN SHOULD BE AAAAAAA

"When they start to kill me, run," Grace says to Dani. But... AN SUV pulls up, knocks the skeleton flat on its ass as the human part of the REV-9 just stares in dull, placid confusion.

next up: my fave returns!

[its-jwang2017]

Part 3: Why Jinyoung is a Genius but Not Very Smart

Ok! I've been gone for a bit... and I am very sorry... but now I am back! With a brand new chapter!

As I said before, Jinyoung really wanted the focus to be on him this time... so we'll get his view for this chapter, then we'll jump to a week later to see what they've done with the place. I had to split this up into two chapters because I wanted to show y'all just how ill-fitted our villains are to the #evillife , just like we see in Megamind.

Also, we get to see Yugyeom in this chapter!!! Guess who he has a crush on...

As always, let me know about any spelling mistakes or general got7 errors. I'm doing my best to remember nicknames and stuff, but I'm not the greatest, being an international aghase... anyways, read and enjoy!

Jinyoung jogged up the steps of the sports complex, digging through his backpack in search of his fake Loyola University ID. Normally, Jinyoung would never be caught dead in a gym filled with other gross, sweaty, hormone amped students (he pays extra to go to a high quality private gym, thank you very much), but today was a special day. He had overheard a conversation between two of his younger classmates, Bambam and Yugyeom, while he happened to be meandering by their open dorm room. From what he could gather, Yugyeom had asked Bambam to make him a fake Loyola University Student ID, which was suspicious for three reasons: Yugyeom attended JYP International Prep, he did not know anybody that attended that university (Jinyoung had to look up his Facebook page for the details... it was interesting to say the least), and he wasn't even old enough to attend university. Now, Jinyoung considered himself a smart person, a genius even. He had noticed that Yugyeom had been acting oddly the past couple of weeks, to say the least. Always spaced out and acting extra happy for seemingly no reason, almost like he was under some sort of spell. So, being a concerned hyung that he was (stop laughing, Jaebum!), he made it his mission to figure out the new puzzle that was being laid out before his eyes. It wasn't because he was bored or because he had nothing to do.... No, not at all.

Let it be said that Jinyoung did nothing by halves. When he was committed to something, he was fully committed. So after he heard that interesting conversation between the troublesome duo, he waited outside the room, very casually, until Bambam walked out. He then (not so casually) convinced Bambam to spill the tea by placing some vague, very subtle threats in every other sentence.

What he found out from that conversation was that he threatened Bambam too much in Korean class since the younger seemed to be unaffected by his menacing glare, the hand holding him against the wall, and the venomous words attacking him. At least the younger was still scared enough to make Jinyoung a fake ID so he could figure it out himself.

So here Jinyoung was, digging through his backback for the well-made badge that would get him through the doors (and 85% closer to solving the mystery) when he saw it. There, in his backpack, was the faint blue glow of his latest invention buried underneath stacks of essays, folders, pens, wallet and other school supplies. Jinyoung wasn't normally a "messy" person, but that morning he was crunched for time and had to shove anything he could grab from his desk into his bag in order to both surprise Yugyeom and then later meet Bambam and Youngjae for a study session. Looking back, Jinyoung could now see that he should have turned right on his heels and headed straight back to the "lair" in order to return the potentially catastrophic item to a safe, destruction proof location. The gun wasn't even an official prototype yet, just something that Jinyoung created during another one of his sleepless nights.

Instead, he acted like a character in a B-rated horror movie and shrugged off the nagging voice in his gut that screamed, "turn around!". The opportunity to figure out the puzzle and thereby be granted an exclusive pass to tease Yugyeom about it was just too great of a prize for him to pass up! So, ignoring the faint ominous glow of the contraption in his backpack, Jinyoung continued his path towards his younger friend and finally grabbed the Loyola ID out of his bag. As he scanned the card and walked through the doors, he immediately spotted the hunched over figure of his classmate sitting at the receptionist desk, playing on his phone and practically ignoring everyone around him.

Shaking his head and smirking to himself, Jinyoung conscientiously made his footsteps heavier and made his way over to the younger. When he finally made it up to the circular desk, his footsteps not breaking the other's concentration in the slightest, Jinyoung leaned over the barricade in order to see what was taking up so much of Yugyeom's attention. When he saw what appeared to be a livestream of a fencing match on the tiny home screen, Jinyoung rolled his eyes and let out a huff of disappointment. Seriously, Jackson must be some sort of super... It's the only way that he could have so many guys incapable of making proper choices whenever he's involved.

Smacking his hand hard against the table near Yugyeom, Jinyoung let himself have a couple moments of laughter as Yugyeom dropped his phone and let out an audible shriek, before smoothing his face back into a serious expression. He watched the younger scramble to reorient himself after the sudden shock to his system as he walked towards the other side of the desk and allowed himself into the receptionist space. "Seriously, Yugyeom-ah? I thought digging up dirt on you would have been so much more... enjoyable than this." drolled Jinyoung, his hand flippantly gesturing at Yugyeom.

"Jinyoung-hyung! I... what? How did you find me?!" Yugyeom whisper-shrieked, trying his best to scooch as far away from the older boy as his wheelie chair would allow, his phone laying forgotten on the floor.

Jinyoung idly poked around the various items of the tiny space, giving off an air of vague interest the entire time. "I bribed another student to tell me where you always scurry off to after school. And by bribed, I mean threatened. And by student, I mean Bambam. And by scurry off, I mean creepily follow after. Seriously, what is up with Jackson that everyone seems to be lovestruck whenever they spend more than four minutes with him? I don't understand. It seems as if only Youngjae and I are immune to his charms. Even his best friend, Matt or whatever, seem to be practically in love with the guy with the way they're always attached at the hip!" Jinyoung exclaimed with a dramatic flourish.

Yugyeom sank lower in his seat with every word, red blush creeping up onto his face as Jinyoung sat opposite of him, feeling more exposed than ever in front of the other. "Jinyoung-hyung, I don't know what you're talking about..."

Letting out a bark of laughter, Jinyoung leaned back against the desk and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Let me count the ways in which you, Kim Yugyeom, are a lying liar who has an unhealthy obsession with one Jackson Wang," Jinyoung dramatically exclaimed, ignoring the other's attempt to shush him and raised his pointer finger up in the air, "One! You were watching a livestream of his fencing performance and always keep up to date with his activities online. The video is still playing on your phone, by the way." Jinyoung said with a pointed look at Yugyeom's phone from which the fencing match could still be heard.Yugyeom practically dove out of his seat and snatched his phone from off the ground, his face as red as a tomato. Ignoring the other's pitiful attempts to get Jinyoung to stop talking, he continued, "Second! In Korean class, whenever you're partnered with Jackson, you turn into an ineloquent, stuttering mess. At first, I assumed it was either because of lack of sleep, that you were cursed by a witch, or that you reached a new level of prepubescent clumsiness due to your gangly, overgrown limbs. However, upon further review that I just made in the last eight seconds, it is glaringly obvious that you are head over heels for the fencer! Even though I am probably the smartest in that class, there is a chance that the other less-smart people have figured that out however improbable that may be. His best friend is probably suspicious of your intentions towards Jackson by now. It got even worse after Bambam's party a couple weeks ago, now that I think about it... Anyways, third-"

"Jinyoung-hyung, please stop tal-"

"THIRD!" Jinyoung shouted, slapping a hand over Yugyeom's mouth and ignoring the curious stares of the students around them. "Yugyeom-ah, you can't interrupt, I'm monologuing. Third, you practically insert yourself into any situation that involves helping Jackson even a little bit. I've seen you practically bodyslam Youngjae out of the way in order for you to be the one to offer Jackson a dumb pencil to replace the one he broke. I mean, that's a bit obsessive, don't you think. And I save the best for last!" Stepping back and removing his hand from Yugyeom's mouth, Jinyoung gestured to the entire facility that surrounded them, spinning around on his heels for dramatic effect. "You literally, somehow, scammed your way in to working a part time job at a college that you don't even attend! Probably because you knew that Jackson attends most of his fencing matches here and you wanted to be near him. I mean, you barely look legal, how did these people hire you when you look like you're 13? Bad managing, probably. Am I right or am I right, Yuggie?"

Slumping in defeat, Yugyeom covered his face with his hands, embarrassment preventing him from looking at Jinyoung in the eyes. "Oh my god, it sounds way too creepy when you say it like that!"

Jinyoung, feeling slightly proud of himself that he was able to embarrass his younger friend like this, decided to put the other out of his misery. "So, Yugyeom. Care to explain your stalker-like tendencies?"

A soft whine escaped from between Yugyeom's hands, the freshman sitting back into his chair and rubbing his face, eventually letting his hands fall to his sides and stared off into the ceiling, face still burning with embarrassment. "Hyung, there's nothing to say!"

"...."

"Jinyoung-hyung! I mean it!" "...."

"Stop looking at me like that!"

"...."

"ALRIGHT FINE!"

Jinyoung smiled triumphantly, the menacing glare vanishing off of his face. "Go on then, Gyeommie! Tell your hyung all about it!"

Yugyeom glared half-heartedly at his so-called 'caring' friend, wringing his hands together as he prepared to tell Jinyoung everything. "Ah... well... you see... Jackson and I... got....together... at Bambam's party?" Yugyeom mumbled, his words disconnected and quiet.

Jinyoung's whole body unwillingly jerked at the younger's statement, brain trying to process the new information. He had about twenty seconds to put his monologue together about Yugyeom's crush, that he had assumed was one-sided, but this new puzzle piece threw the whole picture off kilter. "Wait, so you two...?"

Yugyeom nodded his head, face somehow becoming even redder at the implication. "Yeah...it's just, I had a crush on him for a while and I was a little drunk and he was drunk but everything was consensual!" Yugyeum rushed out, hands fluttering around as he talked. "I don't think he realized who I really was until the... the morning after. And he asked if we could still be friends, he was so nice about the whole thing, and I said yes but I think... I think I really like him so I tried to... woo him as best I could! So I've been trying to show him that I could be a good... boyfriend to him and Bambam suggested I start working here so that I could see him more often outside of class but I never do and people always look at me strange, probably because I am pretty tall but look younger...Even when I see him, I have to hide because I also thought it was weird if he actually saw me working here but it was nice to see him outside of class! It's... been a stressful past couple of weeks, hyung!"

Jinyoung stared open-mouthed at Yugyeom, feeling a bit overwhelmed at the new situation he was presented with. Looks like JB has some competition.

Moving to kneel beside the distraught freshman, Jingyoung placed a hand on the other's knee, doing his best to try to comfort his friend. "Yugyeom-ah. This may not be my place to ask and you do not have to answer, but I would like to know because it would clear things up a bit for the both of us. Was Jackson....was he...you know... your first?"

Hands wringing together, Yugyeom looked down and away from Jinyoung, his head slowly nodding. Sighing, Jinyoung continued, "Yugyeom, does he know?'

Wet eyes stared straight at Jinyoung as the other shook his head.

Now, Jinyoung was not usually a very tactile person but he also wasn't completely heartless. He was the person who caused the metaphorical emotional dam inside the younger to break and spill over, so he thought he at least owed Yugyeom a bit. He took the other's hand in his and carefully wrapped one arm around Yugyeom's shoulders, making the other lean in to him. The two were moderately close in school, having shared some of the same classes and lived on the same floor with overlapping friend groups, but Jinyoung never felt as close to the other as he did in that moment. Ignoring the slight wetness building near his collarbone where Yugyeom buried his face into, Jinyoung started to slowly stroke the others back, hoping his movements would give the other some comfort. "Yugyeom, why didn't you say anything? I just thought I would come here to embarass you, not make you cry!"

Laughing wetly, Yugyeom shrugged his shoulders, leaning back out of Jinyoung's grip and wiping his face with his t-shirt. "I didn't think we were at that stage in our friendship, Jinyoung-hyung. I should have asked you, though, because Bammie gives the worst advice!"

The two boys burst into laughter, surprising a couple students as they walked by. Stifling their laughter, Jinyoung stood up and stretched out his legs and arms. "Don't worry, Yugyeom-ah. You're not the only freshman who's fallen in love with their elder after having a one night stand. Especially when their elder looks and acts like Jackson Wang. Jackson and I may not be the closest, but after working with him in class, I can say that he's intelligent, funny, creative, athletic, and talented. However, those same words of praise do not stretch into his ability to perceive others emotions. You should tell him. I'm sure you'll either get a boyfriend out of this. An older, hotter boyfriend at that," Jinyoung winked at Yugyeom, avoiding his half-hearted swat at Jinyoung's stomach, "Or you'll get the nicest let down in history and you'll be able to tell yourself that, at the very least, you tried!"

As if a switch had been flicked on inside of Yugyeom's head, Jinyoung watched as the embarrassment faded away and determination replaced the look on the younger's face. Yugyeom pushed his chair back and stood up at full high, causing Jinyoung to look up instead of down. Curse Yugyeom's freakishly tall genes!

Yugyeom stuck out his hand which Jinyoung reluctantly took. "Jinyoung-hyung! Thank you for your words! I will do my best and try to ask out Jackson-hyung and make him see me as more than just a naive freshman! And if he says no, I swear I won't become a lovestruck teenager in an old Taylor Swift music video anymore!" As Yugyeom vigorously shook the older's hand, all Jinyoung could do was nod in agreement, smiling slightly at Yugyeom's enthusiasm. While his attention was still on Jinyoung, the eldest took the time to firmly grip the hand in his grasp and tug Yugyeom closer to him.

"So, Yugyeom, I've been dying to know... Did Jackson prefer to give or receive?"

Jinyoung laughed as his words got the desired effect, watching as Yugyeom quickly let go of his hand as if he had been burnt and scrambled away, stuttering out ineligible words all the while. "Yugyeom-ah, I was kidding! Don't be such a prude." Jinyoung said, ruffling Yugyeom's hair. "Besides, we both know he's more of a twunk than a hunk, am I right?"

Before Yugyeom could grab Jinyoung and strangle the other like he desperately wanted to do ever since the conversation started, Yugyeom noticed the other's stare was a bit too far to the right of his head. Quickly spinning around, Yugyeom's stomach dropped and his whole body froze. He would recognize that bright red hair anywhere and the person connected to it was quickly approaching up the steps to the facility now.

In a fluid motion, Yugyeom reached behind him and grabbed whatever piece of fabric his hand landed on. Ignoring Jinyoung's squawk of protest, Yugyeom roughly jerked the other forward towards the front end of the desk, letting go just as he ducked underneath in an effort to hide himself from plain view. "Jinyoung, it's Mark!"

"Mark, who?"

"Jackson's best friend!" Yugyeom whisper yelled at Jinyoung, listening for the familiar sound of the door opening. "He's literally in the same class as us and sits next to Jackson every day, how could you not- Aish, that's not important! He shouldn't see me here! He's probably here for the match now!"

Jinyoung looked down incredulously at the hiding figure. "So, you're saying you were watching a live stream of a match that you could have just... watched in real life?"

"Jinyoung! Now's not the time to berate me! I'm hiding!" At that moment, Yugyeom heard the doors get roughly pushed open. "Tell him it's down the hall to the right! He could be lost!"

As Yugyeom hid, Jinyoung did his best to look as professional and greetabl as possible. He was sure Mark wouldn't recognize him. Or he hoped, because that would definitely be embarrassing if the other recognized him when Jinyoung barely knew who he was. For whatever reason, they were never really paired up in any of the three classes they had together but only knew each other through the talks of the shared mutual friends they had. Clearing his throat, Jinyoung utilized his inner Yugyeom voice and called out to his noticeably stressed classmate, "Mark-hyung! You're so late! Jackson-hyung is almost done with his match!"

Jinyoung barely restrains himself from sending a judgmental look at the other as Mark just stares at him in shocked silence. A light punch to his leg spurs him to continue talking, his left hand pointing to Mark's right, "Down this hall, on your left! Maybe you'll see the last couple of seconds!"

Jinyoung watched as Mark ran away, sending a barely perceivable Thank you! Over his shoulder before disappearing down the hallway. He may not be the most perceptive person, but he is cute.. I'll give him that.

Jinyoung's pulled from his thoughts as he is roughly shoved aside, the space he once filled soon replaced by a grumbling Yugyeom. "The door isn't on his left when he goes down that hall, it's straight ahead!"

"Hey, you were the one who literally gave me a five second notice. If I knew I was going to play a receptionist today, I would have worn fancier clothing to complete the part!"

The oncoming fight was soon interrupted as Jinyoung's phone rang loudly, Shinee's 'Lucifer' playing loudly in the once quiet(ish) facility. Holding up one finger as if pausing their conversation, Jinyoung tugged out his phone from the inside his pocket and answered it in one fluid motion. "Hello, Park Jinyoung here."

"Jinyounggie, are you done torturing Yugyeom-ah now? We've got work to do."

At hearing the monotonous voice of his so-called best friend, Jinyoung starts slowly backing away from the confines of the circular receptionist desk. "Hyung! I was just leaving. You know me, I had to go all out on embarrassing our precious yugyeommie!" Jinyoung said, making kissy faces at Yugyeom, who returned it with an ugly face of his own. Sighing at the rejection of his aegyo, Jinyoung mouthed back exit? After being pointed in the right direction, Jinyoung resumed his conversation with his impatient roommate, walking quickly in the direction Yugyeom suggested. "I have the ray with me, we're all set. We've been planning this for days, don't worry!" Jinyoung exclaimed, making sure to avoid that his possession of the untested ray was completely planned.

"Jinyoung-ah, with you, I always have to worry. We don't even need the ray yet, why do you even-?"

"Jaebummie, don't you want to see the miraculous product built with my blood, sweat and tears??"

"I shouldn't have even asked... Now, the plan is set for tomorrow at Buckingham Fountain. There shouldn't be a lot of tourists in the early morning, so we should plan it for then. I think we should-"

Jinyoung pushed open the back door, only half-listening to Jaebum as he repeated the same plan that the two had been going over for the past five days. JB and Jinyoung had worked together for the past couple of years, after they found out about each other's powers when they were roommates during their first semester, so Jinyoung was used to the whole overprepared pre-battle spiel Jaebum would give the day before. He figured out that if he nodded his head and agreed with Jaebum every once in a while, the other would continue talking and Jinyoung could ignore the speech in favor of literally anything else.

He hummed along with whatever Jaebum was currently speaking, switching his phone to the other ear in order to tug his backpack off of his arm and around to his front. Digging through his backpack, Jinyoung looked for something to distract him. A book, a pencil to click, even the fidget spinner that he took from Yugyeom's desk earlier. With half of his mind focused on entertaining the droning one-sided conversation in his ear and the other half looking for a source of entertainment, he didn't notice that a runaway pen had slipped through the trigger of his sonic ray. It only took one accidental sweep of his hand against the pen to activate the blue ray. Before Jinyoung could even register the sound of the device triggering, he was jerked sideways onto the grass as the ray blasted one side of his backpack open and hit the wall that Jinyoung had walked beside seconds earlier.

The whole event happened in a matter of seconds and there was nothing Jinyoung could do to stop it as he watched a hole replace the spot that solid concrete once held. Belatedly, Jinyoung realized his phone had been thrown to the ground next to him, his screen completely shattered. Luckily he seemed to be unharmed, which could not be said for his half a backpack that he had left, as he sat up and watched the smoke rise. Surveying the scene, Jinyoung winced as he noticed a couple of passed out students who were located too close to the blast site. Otherwise, the scene was blessedly clear.

Hopefully they won't remember any of this...  

He sat back on one arm as he ran his other hand through his now soot/dirt covered hair. "Jaebum is gonna be so mad at me when he sees this..."

Jinyoung froze as he heard familiar, boot covered footsteps approach from behind him. "Jaebum-HYUNG is actually furious at you, Jinyoung-ah."

Jinyoung whirled around just in time to catch the watch that was thrown directly at his chest. His eyes looked up to meet his best friends cold, unforgiving glare and he felt a tiny twinge of fear rise up in his gut. Darting his glance away from the other's face, Jinyoung noticed that Jaebum was already in full uniform, his suit already charged and ready.

"Jaebum-hyung, I can explain-"

"We'll talk later. Honestly, I sort of expected this. You're lucky I happened to be in the area. We'll do the plan today so suit up now and let's go inside. Red Dragon should be here any minute and we've wasted too many seconds."

Jinyoung could only nod as he quickly put the watch on his wrist, activating the handy device as soon as he could. Ten seconds later, Project J stood side-by-side with Dark Soul, both in full battle regalia with their helmets open and suits glowing a faint blue as Dark Soul's powers energized their suits. Project J quickly suppressed the orange schematics that popped up into his field of vision, instead focusing on "gripping" the both of them with his telekinetic abilities. As the two rose into the air, he briefly glanced at Jaebum before their helmets snapped into place. The glimpse of the 'angry chin' was all Jinyoung needed to see as they floated towards the still dust covered ruins of the gym. If things didn't go according to plan during this impromptu 85% pre-prepared battle, he would definitely be getting an earful later.

And.... well... you know what happens next. It did go according to plan. Sort of.

*Alright! Next chapter will be a week in the future (hopefully posted within the week). I've decided against the markson reunion. It just doesn't fit the general flow of the story, but maybe I'll do a dramatic one-shot later. I've written their reunion already, but I wasn't happy with the direction it would take the story in so I decided against publishing it in this work. So look out for another series, written by me, focusing on tidbits I've written that just don't fit in my story flow! Maybe I'll just post tidbits on tumblr, I haven't decided yet.

Also, Jinyoung's origin story has been written, so watch out for that!

Did it surprise you that Yugyeom had a crush on Jackson? Thoughts? Let me hear them!

Kudos, comments, and favorites are much appreciated!*

[13unknownmind]

The Arrowverse is back Arrow S7E3

Aight yes y'all we are back with Arrow... I was supposed to get this up yesterday along with legends but I had a family day instead and I am happy I did. I did however have the opportunity to get my notes down and am fully prepared so let's get to it.

In mate 4587 we gonna talk about this dude.

"I know everything there is to know about Diaz and the Longbow Hunters." Felicity has been #obsessed she wants her husband back and her son to be able to come home and I can't blame her.

Side note: I say this allot but The League of Assassins was even afraid of the Longbow Hunters.

"it was his choice to put on that hood and it was his choice to turn himself in." Amanda Watson, saying this is just her way to direct the blame to Oliver.

"you probably don't even have a liver... Just muscle." this was in my opinion one of the dumbest things said on this show but little dude is the FNG so it's whatever can't be mad.

Just a little thing from last episode when Oliver got that dude removed from slabside he got the last and only clean guard removed from the place... So now we got bigger problems.

I really want to know who this "Demon" is cause he sounds bad but I don't think he is honestly... He could be something Oliver knows personal and this could he easy for real.

Oh my gosh the diggles I love this family and the way they are together, I have finally gotten to see them all together Lyla, John and J.J.

Now this was one of my personal favorite moments from this episode.

Lyla - "It'll be like a second honeymoon." Aww

John - "yay with Curtis." Sarcasm lol

Lyla - "well Deadshot and Cupid came with us on our first." This line was well delivered.

John - "no that is not our first honeymoon. Our first honeymoon was in Hawaii Remember? The Hammocks by the beach." That sounds great.

Lyla - "Hawaii was nice." She said that with such a happy smile.

John - "Hawaii was really nice." He probably remembers that time vividly.

That was a great interaction, the moment was great.

Now this is right after that just finishing the part of that moment when they are talking about "love on the front lines" if you will.

Lyla - "we make a good team."

John - "we make the best team."

This was great and I am loving the diggles more and more. J.J. has grown so much over the time he has been on the show and the Diggle family has grown as a unit of characters, it's great.

I am so sappy lol but married couple moments like that are just adorable.

All right fast forward a little bit now we are in the Europe with the team on a mission. John and Lyla are trying to bust a bank and they brought Curtis lol and this dude right before they close the van door.

"can you get me a free toaster?" ...Good job Curtis *drops head and shakes it dramatically back and forth*

Felicity Smoak the best hacker in the world fixes a way to defeat Diaz and it... almost succeeds. If Oliver was there I can tell you it would have succeeded. But sense it's to get him out of prison that's not a thing.

Aight little dude internal monologue is meant to be just that. I don't know why he's steady talkin' but again FNG lol

I also just wanted to point out that Oliver is ambushed by three dudes and whoops all three of them by himself after having been stabbed by himself.

"you don't summon the demon, the demon summons you." This is sounding almost like a cartelish situation.

"the only way to the demon is through brick, there's a system that's how this place works." "Well looks like I'm going to force brick to make good on his deal." This was good, you can see Oliver is done and ready to get this BS over with.

Amanda Watson FBI agent lady working with the Overwatch.

The team comes in the traps fully set let's see how this goes.

Amanda - "you thought about getting to Cyber Security... Legally?"

Felicity - "I haven't done legally in a very long time."

This part was great cause this is a vigilante and an FBI agent lol

See the system sucks but it is the way it is so all can be treated fairly... Except good people and the bad folk don't get what they deserve.

Now back over to Digs team.

Curtis - "sometimes secrets are good in a marriage you know keeps the spice alive... actually don't quote me on that I'm actually divorced. what are you going to do?" Well done Curtis well done.

Then when Diaz and the Hunters are walking in and through the lad "so inhumane." This coming from a long bow hunter... #Millennial serial killer moment lol

And we also have this jem-

Felicity - "Frac... fracFracFRAC!"

Renee - "better sounds Felicity."

There shortly after we get this which is another of my favorite moments in this episode.

Felicity - "How about I saved the details of acoustic injection cyber-attacks for post Mission happy hour." I loved this so much cause you got the intelligence shining through one of the most smart alec remarks to be on this show yet.

I'm really loving the silencer vs. Canary and Siren battles being a reoccurring thing.

Another side thing: Does anyone actually have a ship name for Dinah and Laurel??? Please let me know, 'cause that is a ship I am on.

Felicity - "I can't hack it but I can track it." Go on girl with your bad self and your rhymes lol #bars

I'm very curious Okay so let's retrace our steps to when they're walking into the actual lab one of the two Hunters that is with Diaz makes a comment about what her darts could do with the stuff in the lap the different chemicals and compounds and I'm over here like girl you're a Longbow Hunter take whatever you want. Are they not known for being the best of the best and doing whatever it takes to get there I'm just saying I'm a little confused on that one.

Going to the next part here we can't get the doors closed and Felicity is trying everything... Watson ready to give her life up... Is that just part of her job 'cause she was ready.

Clearly from what we can all see hear Dinah and Laurel are setup to defeat the silencer together 'cause you know #PowerCouple this is gonna be fun.

Aight Watson I know you've done lot of stuff, probably been on quite a few missions as well but did you really think pulling the FBI thing would work on Diaz and THE LONGBOW HUNTERS???

Another thing and this is just something that I'd like to point out to the masses... The Longbow Hunters are amazing okay I love them I love the characters and I love the concept... That being said they are going 1v1 against team arrow and hardly holding their own like for real give it another 5 minutes and Diaz not intervening and the Longbow Hunters would have been whooped.

"on a scale from 1-unemployment" lol that was good thank you Felicity.

Meanwhile back at slabside

"if I don't try to kill you" meaning he knows that he's not and would not be able to kill Oliver.

Turns out dude might not be the worst guy in the world I mean he did save Lyla.

And over to Europe again we go.

Lyla all she's trying to do is keep Dig and J.J. safe and keep dig out of what he doesn't want to be in.

All right now we're getting to my favorite part of the episode overall...

THE FIGHT! Sampson vs The Green Arrow... Begin lol (if you know what I just referenced congrats your old as well.)

Yo my boy Oliver here took a bit of a disadvantage at the beginning cuz Samson tackled him when he wasn't looking. in all actuality it's all good because after a couple blows to the Torso and one hit to the Head you can clearly see Oliver's done so he comes back with a tackle of his own after looking at his freshly reopened stab wound and starts going whatever it is that is beyond H.A.M. and we can clearly see he is not letting up. one busted arm and probably a busted a hand later all of her flies up to the balcony to deal with brick. Brick thinks that Oliver can't be a worst of the worst guy huh... Ok well as soon as Oliver proves him wrong he gestures with a little unspoken "well played" and Oliver is carted off to his cell by the guards.

Now moving back over to Europe we come back in on the lovers dispute if you will... If that's even called the dispute.

John - "Lyla I'm sorry, I was wrong." Man first we see dig remember the first honeymoon good job, now we're hearin' this man apologize and fully admit to being at fault. Ladies and gentlemen this is a man who has marriage down to a tee. From what I understand that's how a marriage works one of you has to realize that you need to apologize and one of you needs to realize and admit that you were wrong if you actually got in a fight with your spouse. This is a beautiful thing for real.

I also now we moving back over to Felicity and Renee's team in Star City...

Food City in Renee captured silencer (exactly what I figured would happen.) And I assume are going to interrogate... Apparently her name or call sign is Honor.

And now we cut two Diaz who has been po'd for a while, I really cannot blame him you know being siren screamed off of roof and having his bones shattered on the water's surface... He was already a sociopath and now it's even worse greeaaaaat. Oh and now he has super strength¿ We going to see what happens next.

Again back at slabside

Now that Oliver is headed to level 2 we're probably going to see one how he gets out and definitely going to see two who this Demon is... I'm figuring it's somebody Oliver knows from his past and they going to figure out something... I don't know what but something big is probably going to happen.

Now I can only assume like I said that we're going to see an interrogation next episode with Honor/Silencer so that's going to be fun and probably a really angry Dinah... I hope to also see more Diner and Laurel interaction cause we all know that anything to do with the silencer seems to have Dinah or Laurel involved.

(if you couldn't tell I am shipping them so hard)

Now what I always love doing is giving my final thoughts so... Let's do it.

Is Oliver going to stay in prison for the majority of the season and make his way out around crossover time?

I honestly think the demon might be connected to the bratva somehow.

What is Diaz going to do now that he has that strength?

Are they going to make Diaz overpowered enough that he can take on all three Longbow Hunters at once because they're like insubordinate or something and try to overthrow in but he ends up whooping them or whatever?

I have a feeling it's going to be Renee Faison one-on-one against the only dude Longbow Hunter...I want to know what that Shield is what's going on with that cuz there's more than just a shield going on. Yes I'm a nerd get over it.

Will silencer squeal? How are they going to interrogate her/get the information they need?

Please tell me it's not just me shipping Dinah and Laurel.

Who all is in level 2 of slabside cuz I know we're probably going to see some baddies from the last six seasons.

Is it just fictional shows or are all prison guards dirty?

I am so stoked for the rest of this season because I am loving this, they've brought it back from where it was and at really getting Arrow back on track.

Aight y'all so I guess that's it I've got some other stuff to say but nothing that I think is worth the time so if y'all like this please let me know I would love to hear your thoughts if you've read all the way to this point you are awesome and if you haven't you're still awesome I will be working on Legends tonight and probably posting it tomorrow because schedule and life so be looking out for that it will be out before the next episode of Supergirl so will Flash because I have a lot to say about Legends and Flash but anyway as always I hope you all are well feel free to fill me in on any thoughts you have and any information about the shows that I am avoiding or ignoring or whatever it seems that I'm doing. I do apologize for not keeping up on real life stuff but I'm too lazy lol if you did enjoy this like I said let me know like it whatever and check out my other posts under the tag [ #my thought on the arrowverse ] also as always y'all God bless stay chilling and I will catch you on the flippity flop. ✌️

[lexingt0n]

do all of the asks

Put a number in my ask box and I’ll answer it bitches. 1. Any scars?Mainly along my back but some on my hands and face2. Self harmed?Nah I'm good3. Crush?I'm already with someone sorry to my admirers ha4. Kissed anyone?Yeah I kissed my ex a lot 5. Coke or Pepsi?Either or. Sometimes it's coke and others it's Pepsi6. Someone you hate?Nah I don't hate people, I may not like them but I don't hate7. Best Friends?Yeah I got several, both irl and online8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs?Yeah I love to have a drink once in a while. I smoke weed too but it's expensive and I got no job right now9. What’s your dream job?Being a voice actor or something related to history10. Ever been in love?Yeah, love feels great11. Last time you cried?Last year when my dog died12. Favorite color?Gotta have dat green yo13. Height?Tall14. Birthday?No15. Eye color?Hazel but nobody believes me16. Hair color?Deep brown17. What do you love?I love a lot of things in no particular order18. Obsession?Nah obsessions are dumb19. If you had one wish, what would it be?20. Do you love someone?Yeah I love people platonically and someone romantic21. Kiss or hug?More hugs than kisses22. Nicknames people call you?Lex, Lexi, and two scoops23. Favorite song?Right now it's DVNO by Justice24. Favorite band?Justice25. Worst thing that has ever happened to you?Not sure really26. Best thing that has ever happened to you?There's a lot of "best things" that happened to me27. Something you would change about yourself?Probably be my diet but that's something I can control28. Ever dated someone?Yeah I've dated before29. Worst mistake?Won't say30. Watch the movie or read the book?Read the book because it gives more details. Hell I can watch a movie adaptation and follow the beats of the source even if I never read it31. Ever had a heartbreak?Nah relationships end for a reason32. Favorite show?I like the original Gundam33. Best day of your life?I don't have a best day of my life but a lot of best moments34. Any talents?I can roll my tongue for starters ha, but I also pick up on hand eye skills well35. Do you wish you could ever start over?I often did but then I'd not be who I am today36. Any bad habits?Swearing, beating my meat and laziness37. Ever had a near death experience?Nah I'm pretty safe38. Someone I can tell anything to?Don't really have one because I keep secrets from everyone39. Ever lost a loved one?My dog counts as a loved one40. Do you believe in love?I believe in a thing called, just listen to the rhythm of my heart41. Someone you hate/Dislike?I said I don't hate people so42. Are you okay?Yeah43. Relationship status?I'm taken srry y'all44. Selfie? No

[highwindhq]

Secret Showmance: A HighSpecs Halloween Story

I just needed to write something light and happy for Ignis and Aranea for Halloween (with subtle hints of Promptis). It's silly and not my most distinguished work, but it was great fun to write! I drew on my own experiences a bit here, having gone to theatre school, and I loved the idea of these two having a showmance. Enjoy! 

—

Ignis muttered his lines under his breath, repeating them and glancing at the script in his hand, ensuring he was getting it right.

"M'lady, I must ask you not to leave. This cold heart of mine has never known such a wonder as I have felt with you; a kindred spirit, a shining light in this darkness that is my world."

Of course every line he said was perfect, matched word-for-word to the script, but that didn't stop Ignis from obsessively checking it over again. This was a one-time show, after all, and it had to be perfect—there would be no other night to get it right.

Once satisfied, Ignis placed the script in front of his dressing room mirror and looked at his costume, neatly folded on the countertop. He was playing Dracula, and he relished the thought of portraying the long and lean mysterious master of the night. It was not a role he was often cast as, usually receiving the more tedious side characters in the likes of advisors and servants instead. He was tired of acting as little more than a convenient plot device used to deliver random bits of information. But as Dracula, well, this was his moment to shine—in the university's popular annual Halloween show no less.

That is why this was such important business for Ignis, and why he was in the dressing room an hour before the rest of the cast, practicing and ensuring he had time to properly do his makeup and install his fangs.

And, of course, there were thoughts of his leading lady, his Mistress of Darkness, the one and only Elvira herself—ever so skillfully portrayed by the enchanting Aranea Highwind.

Ignis pretended that he didn’t think about Aranea in such ways—everyone else did, and he did not consider himself a worthy competitor. She was simply his fellow thespian, taking part in what was an admittedly ridiculous show that randomly threw together famous horror characters and expected it to work somehow. (It did. Somehow.) It was topped off with low-brow comedy and angsty writing, a far cry from the works of real playwrights, but it was enjoyable nonetheless—especially after a few drinks. Good thing it was a university production.

And it was particularly enjoyable for Ignis to deliver his monologue to Aranea at the end of play, where he begs her to stay with him, assuring her that he would protect her heart. She leaves, however, preferring to live an independent life not bound by the emotional tortures of love. It was so wonderfully angsty.

"Aren't you kids lucky," Cid, their director had said. "I won't be forcing' y'all to kiss or nothin’ cause you go yer own ways!"

They may not have had a kiss, but they did have plenty of close scenes—like the dance scene where Ignis could always smell Aranea’s shampoo and find new details on her face, like the subtle freckles across her nose and cheek.

But he didn't care for any of this, of course. She was nothing more than his fellow actor, albeit a rather charming one in her own blunt way. But that was all she was.

The changing room's door flew open, snapping Ignis back into the space. Noctis, Prompto, and Gladio came in, along with several other members of the ensemble.

"Hey Ignis, you're here early," Noctis said.

"Just being responsible, that is all." Ignis side-eyed Prompto. "Unlike some other people here, I actually care to learn my lines."

"I know my lines," Prompto insisted, putting his arms out in front of him. "AARRRGGHHH... BRAINS..."

He was the zombie in the play. Gladio was a werewolf, and Noctis, showing the least amount of talent for acting, was a black cat. Ignis knew Noctis hardly minded—he was really only there because Prompto had begged him to join the theatre club to meet girls, though Ignis reckoned they had more interest in one another than the opposite sex. All in good time, though.

"Ready for your big moment?" Gladio asked, slapping Ignis on the shoulder.

"I am adequately prepared, yes."

"Maybe you should go off-script,” Gladio continued. "Ask Lady Elvira for a kiss at the end." He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"I have no idea what you're going on about, Gladio, but I assure you that I am a professional. It may only be a university play, but I take my role here very seriously, and the characters are meant to part in the end—“

"Yeah, yeah. We get it, Iggy," Gladio said.

"You're not here for the ladies, you're here for the art. We know," Prompto added. "But I'm telling you, that Aranea!"

"Prompto, I assure you I can see," Ignis said. "She is indeed beautiful. But I view her as nothing more than a talented fellow actor."

"Sure," Noctis said. "Bet you're not interested in seeing her dressed up in her Elvira costume either. Not one bit."

"Noct—"

The door flew open again, louder this time, and Aranea walked in like a whirlwind, going straight to the mirror with her costume folded in front of it.

"Hello boys, ready to rock this stupid show?"

"Hey Aranea," Prompto said, his voice jumping up a pitch like it always did around her. Prompto may not have been as interested in girls as he let on, but Aranea was an indomitable force. She could easily chew him up and spit him out.

"Lines all memorized, Aranea?" Ignis asked.

"Mostly!" she said, grinning at him and waiting for the slight twitch of his lips that she knew was coming. "Relax, I'm just kidding. I've got this, Specs."

Aranea reached for the hemline of her top and pulled it over her head, revealing only her black bra. The boys and everyone else in the changing room (save for Gladio, perhaps) pretended not to notice and focused on their own costumes instead, but there was not a single man or woman in that room who wasn't curious. Bless these co-ed change rooms, they all thought. Bless these terrible theatre school budgets for not being able to afford a second room.

As for Ignis, well he may have thought himself above such things, but couldn't help looking in Aranea's direction from the corner of his eye. He hoped his glasses provided some cover. (Gladio, meanwhile, made no attempt to hide the direction of his gaze.) He started unbuttoning his shirt to try to distract himself. Focus, Ignis! Focus on anything but those—

Now Aranea was leaning over and pulling her pants off too, left standing only in her black bra and lacy underwear. Ignis' eyes were like a magnet, and he swallowed hard at the sight of her. Astrals be damned, she was magnificent. He self-consciously removed his shirt, hoping he wasn't too much of an embarrassment compared to people like Gladio. He worked hard on his physique, yes, but he was never any good at bulking up.

As he folded his shirt, Aranea turned in his direction. He pretended not to look at her, but he felt her gaze. What was she looking at? What was she thinking? Ignis felt more self-conscious than ever.

"Hey Ignis," Aranea shouted. "Need any help with your makeup? You should put it on before you get dressed, in case it powders on your costume. Dracula's pretty pale, after all."

"Good idea," Ignis said stiffly. "I should be able to apply it just fine. Thank you for the offer."

"Nah, come on. I know makeup, and I bet you've never had to wear this much before."

Aranea walked over, still dressed only in her underwear, grabbing her bag of makeup. She shoved Ignis into a chair and sat herself on the countertop, then grabbed the chair and pulled Ignis right up to her. She spread her legs on either side of him so she could lean in closer and started powdering Ignis' nose.

Ignis tried so hard, but there was no way he was winning this fight against his eyes. They stared at Aranea's full breasts.

"Eyes up," she said.

"Sorry?"

"I need to put powder under your eyes, so look up please."

With great effort, Ignis pried his eyes up, begging them to obey, and focused on the fluorescent lights in the ceiling. These were far less interesting, but also less sweat-inducing.

Aranea continued to plaster his face with white powder, then added purples and blacks for some subtle contouring. Ignis could feel her breath on his face, her concentrated look. She seemed so damn comfortable sitting there like this, nearly naked in front of everyone, putting makeup on him. He imagined she rather liked this power shift.

"All done, handsome," she said. "Take a look!"

Ignis studied himself in the mirror, and by some miracle she managed to make him look lively and attractive, even while playing an undead character.

"Okay, time to do my own face now. I trust you can slick your hair back yourself?"

"That I am far better versed in," Ignis assured her.

An hour later, everyone was ready. Aranea, of course, looked stunning in her Elvira dress, the plunging neckline and fitted body accentuating everything perfectly. She had a black wig on, which made her all the more alluring. Ignis himself looked incredibly dapper, if he did say so himself, and the fangs had stuck securely onto his teeth. They made quite the leading pair, and the guys joked about how good they looked together. Aranea playfully looped their arms together; Ignis was grateful for the white powder hiding his flushed cheeks.

Everyone waited in the wings as they got their five-minute call, the nerves starting to bubble up. Will he remember his lines, Ignis wondered. Will Noctis remember his? (He was a talking cat.) Will Prompto remember to actually come on stage when it was his cue to enter? That one worried him most.

Someone took Ignis' hand, and he was surprised to find that it was Aranea.

"Hey, we're gonna be great. Don't you worry," she said, giving his hand a good squeeze.

"I'm not nervous," he tried. "Well, maybe a little."

"Just have fun out there. It'll be hilarious, the audience will love it! Besides, they're probably already drunk. This is a university, after all."

“That's probably true," Ignis laughed.

The lights on the stage dimmed and spooky music played as Noctis went on stage, starting with the opening narration. (The cat was also the narrator. Come to think of it, Noctis had an awfully large part in this for a terrible actor. The perks of being royalty.)

"Ready?" Aranea whispered.

Ignis nodded and approached the wing to enter. Yes, this was his moment.

The first scene went perfectly. Even Prompto remembered to enter at his cue (with a shove from Gladio, but Ignis didn't see that). They breezed through the second scene too, a short and comedic one wherein zombie Prompto made friends with a certain talking black cat and unspoken tensions underscored the scene perfectly.

Then it was finally time for Aranea to come on stage for Elvira and Dracula’s first meeting. Ignis could hear the audience's whistles and hoots at her appearance, and even if Ignis thought it inappropriate, he couldn't exactly blame them either.

The pair played off one another effortlessly, their chemistry tangible and—if Ignis would allow himself to admit—downright sizzling. They walked off stage and the next scene commenced, while Ignis and Aranea found themselves alone in the wings.

"You were wonderful," he whispered. "The audience loved you."

"They loved you too," she whispered back. "It was so good! Did you hear them laughing and reacting to everything?"

"It's a good crowd."

"Yeah."

They stood in silence, and even though they knew they shouldn't be talking in the wings regardless, it felt ever so slightly awkward, as if they both wanted to say something more but didn't. Instead, Ignis felt Aranea inching closer to him, her arm touching his.

He stood very still, enjoying the contact. Then she pushed herself up and walked on stage for her monologue.

Ignis walked up in the wings to have a better look. He so loved watching her deliver this one. Even though the show was largely a dark comedy, it had heartfelt moments too, and this was his favorite: watching Elvira confess to her mutual longing for and fear of affection. She claimed she didn't want to be emotionally tied down, but really, what she wanted was to avoid getting hurt. Aranea delivered this with such sincerity, Ignis found himself believing her.

After her scene, Aranea joined Ignis in the wings again. They had a few spare seconds before he had to enter, and he smiled at her warmly, wanting to reassure her that he would never hurt her, but then he remembered she was only acting—and he was probably just reacting to his character’s feelings for her. He turned away wordlessly and went on stage for an intense scene with Gladio, the werewolf that befriends Dracula and becomes his closest confidant. (This play really made little sense).

In their next scene together, Ignis and Aranea got to dial up the flirting. It culminated in a dance, slow and sensual, and Ignis told himself he was simply feeling particularly in character as he pulled Aranea closer than he had ever done in rehearsal. He told himself she was just feeling in character too when she pressed herself rather suggestively against him in return. He felt a stirring that he knew absolutely shouldn’t be happening on stage, yet he couldn't bring himself to pull away from her, not when she was breathing so heavily against his chest as they spoke their lines over a haunted waltz.

"You sure know how to move, m'lady," Ignis said.

"As do you, Count Dracula."

"I was once an excellent dancer in my living life, gracing the courts of the most famous kings in the country."

"What a life you must have lead. Do you miss it?"

"Not at all. If I had never turned undead, I would have never lived long enough to have met you. And that, m'lady, would have truly been a shame."

"You're quite the sweet-talker for someone who prefers the taste of blood. Watch what you do with that tongue of yours—and those teeth. You might rip a woman's heart apart one day."

"Oh, I have ripped many hearts already."

"Then am I to avoid you?" Aranea pressed her hips closer at this line.

"No. Because you are the first heart that I want to keep whole."

"Oh my..."

Aranea and Ignis leaned in as if they were about to kiss, when a loud "AHOOOO!" rang out in the air, the howl intentionally breaking up the romantic moment. They pulled apart as Gladio entered the stage, raging as he turned into a werewolf, ripping a thin cotton shirt off, and sending the crowd wild. It was so comedic, Ignis almost struggled not to break character and laugh. Almost.

After that scene, Ignis and Aranea waited in the wings once more. They found themselves alone again, with most of the other actors on stage or doing costume changes.

"That was hot," Aranea said, taking Ignis by surprise. "We've never done that dance scene like that in rehearsals."

"No, I suppose not. Apologies if I got a little carried away with the moment."

"No, it was great. It felt so... real."

“Good, because I meant what I said.”

“Oh?” Aranea looked up at him expectantly, a detail that Ignis missed in the dark. (And, most likely, in stark fluorescent lighting too.)

“That’s what all good actors do, right?"

"Right." Aranea faced back forward, silent for a moment. “But you know, if you did mean some of it—I mean actually you, not just your character—then maybe that's okay too."

"Pardon?" Ignis raised an eyebrow, not entirely sure where this was going. She seemed different—nervous even. How unusual for the woman who was practically straddling him in her underwear an hour ago.

"I'm just saying,” Aranea continued, “that it’s a nice thought if you don't want to break someone's heart, or maybe mine in particular. All too often people seem to want to do the opposite—especially in university. But maybe you’re not like them.”

"I, uh..."

Ignis had no idea what to say. Was she insinuating something? Was he meant to respond in a certain way? Wait, was this an invitation?

Before he could make up his mind, Aranea was walking back on stage, and Ignis followed, flustered now. And apparently, the flustering was a real problem for remembering his lines because his mind suddenly went blank.

“Count Dracula, what do you think?”

What does he think? Ignis had no idea.

"Well, what do you think?" Aranea repeated. "Should we... try to hunt your werewolf friend down?" She was trying to prompt him.

"Yes, uh, yes, we should! We must save Gladi—I mean, Steven, the werewolf!"

Shit.

"Great, then let's go!"

Aranea pulled him off stage, and as soon as they reached the wings, Ignis realized how badly he had screwed up his carefully-learned lines.

"I messed up..."

"It was fine, the audience ate it up anyway," Aranea said. "If anything, it made the scene funnier."

"But I—I have my lines memorized. How could I..."

Then it hit Ignis, and before he could catch himself, he was blurting the words out.

"You tripped me up," he said. "That thing you said before we went on stage, about me not wanting to break your heart. What the hell was that about!"

"Shhh, the audience will hear us, relax!"

Ignis lowered his voice to an intense whisper.

"You really confused me with that, you know. What was I supposed to say in response?"

"I don't know! I was just saying things... Geez, just forget it, okay?"

Aranea pushed past Ignis and found an even darker corner in the unlit backstage area. Ignis realized she was angry, genuinely so. He felt confused, but really, if she had something to say to him, she could have waited till after the show.

Or perhaps she had been saying something to him this entire time, but he never noticed. It was certainly possible. It wouldn't be the first time he missed something like this.

Ignis approached Aranea, his mouth opening to say something, but she sent him a sharp look of warning. Ignis opened his mouth again, and Aranea rolled her eyes and walked away.

Ignis stood dumbfounded in the darkness, running the last several weeks of rehearsals through his head and seeing certain moments in a new light. There was a reason she always sat near him, chatted with him, hell, even applied his makeup in her underwear. He was so busy trying to convince himself he didn’t like her because he felt out of her league, he completed missed the part about it being mutual.

Ignis realized it was time for the last scene of the play, the one where Elvira leaves Dracula at the end. He went on stage first, commencing the scene with the rest of the cast. He was remembering his lines, thankfully, but something about them wasn’t right.

Aranea entered, announcing her plans to depart from Dracula's castle once and for all.

"I cannot bear to stay here with you, Count Dracula,” she said. "I tried to embrace my love for you, but alas—I am too scared. I have seen the darkest of the black arts, and yet nothing scares me more than love. The risk to my heart is too great."

Instead of saying his line in response, Ignis just looked at Aranea. Her eyes shined. He wanted to say her real name.

"The risk to my heart," she repeated again, slower this time, "...is too great."

"M'lady, I must ask you not to leave," Ignis said, delivering his line in a most honest tone. "This cold heart of mine has never known such a wonder as I have felt with you; a kindred spirit, a shining light in this darkness that is my world."

"I'm sorry, I can’t. It was stupid of me,” she whispered, and Ignis was pretty certain that wasn’t in the script.

Aranea turned to walk off stage, and Ignis was supposed to watch her leave until the blackout. Instead, he walked after her and grabbed her hand, pulling her back and into his arms. He pulled her close, pausing just before their lips touched in case he would be overstepping a boundary, but she finished closing the distance between them.

Aranea kissed him hard and Ignis returned it. The cast gasped, the crowd whooped loudly, and Ignis felt confident enough to slip a tongue in, which Aranea met. Their kiss deepened, not at all bothered by the audience (or Ignis' fangs) and broke apart only when the lights finally, after an almost painful amount of time, went black. They kept their arms around each other in the dark, and when the lights came back up for curtain call, they were still on stage, grinning at each other.  

Then Aranea frowned and spat something out of her mouth. It was a fang. She held it up for everyone to see, while Ignis pointed to his missing fang and everyone laughed. They joined the row for the cast's final bows.

Ignis and Aranea left the stage hand-in-hand. Backstage, as the cast high-fived one another on a job well done, Aranea held up the fang.

"Here, I think you dropped this in my mouth."

"Apologies," Ignis said as he took the fang back.

"It's okay. I like teeth," Aranea said with a wink, and walked past Ignis toward the dressing room. She looked back and motioned for him to follow.

"Come on, Dracula. Let's get these costumes off. But… maybe leave the teeth on.”

She winked at him.


“For later.”

[youreghanamissme]

Hey There, Brown Booger

a11/14/2017

It's that time of year again-- when I'll have to filter my tears, my sweat, and every drop of water imaginable because the rain has finished. The landscape has reverted back to its tan and dusty self. I can no longer leave anything of value near the windows overnight lest I want to a nice coat of dust on it in the morning. My boogers are red-brown, and soon, my hacking cough caused by the dust will return in full force. Moto drivers have already started to wear their face masks, some of which perform double duty as a fashion statement (fuzzy cheetah print is all the rage right now, y'all). It's been a while since I've sat down and typed about myself. I wish I could say it is because I'm a very, very important person who hasn't a modicum of time to spend on my arse, detailing the contents of my crazy life to the internet. Nope, nada, nein! Idleness is three-fifths of existence in country. Henceforth, the abridged capitulation of the past few months for my five readers out there (hey peeps!)...

I.       Wake Me Up When September Ends

Half a year later, and GLOW/BRO camp still lives! One of my favorite campers had been reminding me to visit her community for a while, and I wanted to! But life happens, so instead, I invited her to mine :) She's a Gonja by tribe, so I thought it would be cool to show her a little taste of how we live it up in the heart of Dagomba land. Her stay was short but sweet. She wanted to continue living a slice of my siliminga (foreigner) lifestyle, but she couldn't bear to be apart from her mother for too long. Her siblings don't help their mother out at the market. Honest, my few days with Gifty were some of the most rewarding and intense bonding moments I've had as a mentor. Spending time with her illuminated a fact of Ghanaian life that I already knew but never fully internalized until Gifty shared with me the hardships of her life—that children in Ghana are forced to deal with the burden of adulthood far too early. We cried, we laughed, we watched a lot of movies and played a lot of checkers... Youth camps may be a finite venture in the Peace Corps realm of projects, but I say participate if you can. Or, just work with youth through volunteership or something. If not for GLOW/BRO I wouldn't have met some of the most intelligent, self-motivated, and hopeful young people in Ghana.

Casa de Deeshini was lit in September! Thankfully not literally. The end of the month marked the Fire Festival, a traditional Dagomba celebration. The story goes something like this:

A long, long time ago a Dagomba prince went missing. His father—the Chief—and the community members scoured the land for him. At the edge of the community they found him asleep in a tree. They concluded that the tree was evil for stealing their prince from them. They rescued him, and to punish the tree, they threw flaming torches at it. And every year following the prince's abduction, they would set a tree on fire with flaming torches to commemorate the return of the prince and to penalize the tree.

I wasn't able to go last year because I was at OpSmile in Tamale, so I knew I HAD to go to the one in my community this year or else I would forever regret it. And y'all... IT. WAS. LIT. ...LITERALLY!! I have never seen nor experienced so much energy in my community. Hell, I have never seen so many people out and about in my community. There was so much food and drumming and singing, and people were so, so kind. We made torches; we gave torches away; people gave us torches... I loved it. Every single minute of it. I got such a high from the cumulative energy of the whole experience. I invited a few PCV's to come and join in on the festivities where my community lit not one, but THREE trees on fire. We were conked after Tree #2 and headed back to decompress and catch some Z's, but I have never danced, screamed, yelled, sang, and ran with such intensity or felt such ecstasy as I have at Fire Fest. I truly felt beloved and accepted by my community at that moment, and I will forever hold onto those feels when PC life isn't looking so bright.

  II.    It's Scorpio Season, Bitches

October was so intense that I was barely in my community. I had a lot of workshop prep going on that took me out of site (more on that below). It was also my birthday month, the race in Accra, and Halloween (one of my Top 5 favorite holidays of all time)!

It was a little embarrassing this year. I forgot how old I was. I did the math and thought I lost a year of my life, culminating in one of the most pitiful weeks in the history of my existence (sorry, PCV friends who had to deal with my woes and existential crisis), but then I realized I did the math wrong and felt young and relieved (who needs to swim in a tub of virgin blood to retain your youth when you can just buy a calculator?)! Woo-hoo! But then it made me think... is my shitty memory due to the antimalarial pills or am I just truly deplorable in simple arithmetic? The jury is still out.

I celebrated my most recent revolution around the sun with my long-lost twin... who just happens to be from the other side of United States of America (South Carolina, holla at yer guuurl). Something was amiss when I found out that Allie and I both had an unhealthy obsession with costume/ period dramas, chiefly of the British persuasion. And then she told me she used to be a museum docent (!! One of my dream jobs!! Up there with bartender). And when I I found out we had the same birthday... OH LAWD.

It all made sense. We are basically the same person. Once our mutual love for Antiques Roadshow was uncovered, it was basically like the universe was fucking around. What else was there for us to do? Throw a joint costume birthday party, duh.

October 23rd, dudes. I made acquaintances write it on their calendar, and I'm not even ashamed.

But we celebrated the day before because, y'know, the weekend.

She dressed up as Squints from The Sandlot (ugh, a classic!). I dressed up as a deadbeat-nik. Yeah, YEEEAH. Y'all aren't the only ones who didn't think it was punny/ funny. It's fine though. I chuckled to myself. It also gave me the opportunity to finally, after a year and a half, wear that beret that I got in Accra. KG had proclaimed time and again, “Di, I don't know why you bought that fucking beret. It's a million degrees outside. YOU'LL NEVER WEAR IT.”

I whatsapped her a photo of me in the beret.

It was super fun. Friends came and dressed up, even though some of them hate costume parties, DIY costume parties even more so. I had a grand ol' time, and I thank the folks who made it out and those who wished me a HBD.

A couple days after my superspecialawesome day was the regional Tamale Spelling Bee. My homegirl Sarah is involved with the organization/ event, having volunteered last year. It seemed like such a cool opportunity that I asked and received permission to help out too. I'm not well-versed in the logistics, but the brightest of the bunch in Tamale will travel down to Accra to participate in the national spelling bee. Ghana is the only country in West Africa that participates in the International Spelling Bee held by Scripps. The winner of the national spelling bee gets to go to America to participate in the Scripps competition. They also receive a cash prize (thousands of Cedis, dude), material gifts, and a trip to South Africa or something. Their teacher gets to accompany them too, so it's not just the student benefiting. It's such a cool opportunity, and I'm sad to say that the students (Primary 6 to JHS 2 are eligible) in the north do not have as great an advantage as those in the more southern regions, especially those from Greater Accra or Tema with their ipads and better, more consistent education. But to see the Northern students try their hardest made my heart swell. These students were so bright that some stiff competition will not diminish their shine!!

There were two parts to the regional contest. A written comprehension portion and a verbal spelling portion. The combined scores determined who was going to go to Accra. At the end of the verbal spelling portion, after students had been spelling for over two hours, many remained, but only five students were supposed to be selected. The spellers were exhausted, and somehow the MC of the event asked her boss, the event organizer, if he would allow to send the remaining six spellers to Accra. In a moment of unexplained virtue, he was convinced (sucks for that seventh student that was eliminated...), and the crowd erupted into cheers and whoops and whistles. Just pure happiness, y'all.

 After the Bee, the Accra International Marathon happened. I participated. I didn't die. #praisebe #underhiseye

It was awesome to see so many expats, Ghanians, children, and students participating in the race. I even ran into (not literally, thank jah!) a colleague from an NGO in the North at the 10K starting point! Pardon my smugness, but I wasn't last! In the scheme of life, it doesn't matter as much as the fact that I finished! WOO-HOO!! It was such a thrill. And I felt overwhelmed with joy when I heard the friendly cheers calling out my name near the finish line. These voices were familiar... these voices could only come from loud PCV's who DGAF!! It was bliss to see my friends there. The best thing to come out of training and completing the race was my new found appreciation for running. I have said in the past that I hate running. I often scream it at the top of my lungs when people ask me my views on the very subject, “I. HAAATE. RUNNINGGG!!”

I hate it less now. Part of it may be my assumption that “running” meant going hard, 100% of the time. I'm more lax about it. I walk a little here and there, and I always listen to a good podcast while I'm out completing a run. Take home story: if I can be converted to the Church of Somehow-Running, you can be too. Even though it often appears so, it's not some sort of cult. It just feels nice after you finish (It's those goddamn endorphins). I even kinda feel like a lump if I skip running for too many days. I'm hoping to one day train towards a half marathon and then, maybe, a full marathon, kindasortanotreallyidunno.

Whenever I'm in Accra, which is seldom, I try to couple my visit with a medical purpose because all medical distins are taken care of there. Sucks for folks in the Northern and Upper regions. I went to the dentist for some tooth pain that had been recurring for months. The PC Medical Officer had been telling me that we should “wait and see” about the pain for the past half-year. Whelp, I got it sort of checked out. It's a cavity, underneath a filling of an older cavity... probably. They weren't 100% certain since their x-ray machine was broken and they couldn't fix it before I left for the north. Dang-diddily-nabbit. Add that to my diminishing hearing abilities (to be checked out next time I'm in the country capital as well) and frequent questionable moles (sunscreen is moot when you sweat it all off), and I tell ya what—Ghana, maybe, has a vendetta against me.

  III. I'm An Unauthorized Authority Because I Have a Degree In This

I was chosen to be a trainer for the 2017 Nutrition IST (In Service Training). YASSSS. YAAASSSSS. Started as a participant, now I'm here!

It was a lot of work and planning, and my team was fabulous. The star qualities of this IST compared to the other IST's offered in country are that a female counterpart is required, that female CP's can bring their child, and that there are translators available, so English comprehension/ a formal education is not a requirement. The latter two solutions are imperative in overcoming many of the barriers that prevent women (the primary caretakers and often the MVP when it comes to nutrition in the household) from going to Peace Corps Ghana trainings. I am so proud that the Nutrition IST was so inclusive and mindful of the mamas.  It's empowering to the women that participate, and it's encouraging as trainers and as PCV's to witness their growth and excitement.

I have to give plenty of kudos to the Moringa Man and the Health PCVLT (Peace Corps Volunteer Leader-Trainer ?? I don't know. Too many letters in this acronym) for arranging curriculum that is interactive and varied to meet the needs of our audience.

The Ghanaian diet is mostly carbs and fats because it's cheaper to, say, pound a cash crop like maize into a ball and eat it with groundnut stew, a soup made of a lot of oil (more fat means more calories AND it helps preserve the stew) and another accessible crop, than to buy fresh fruits and vegetables. Poverty already affects access to vegetables and meat. The dry season—a time when food is scarce and can be more costly to families whose plush harvest money has already been spent—makes good nutrition even harder. Knowing that food security is an issue, we did our best to come up with applicable alternatives that Ghanaians can explore, highlighting the nutritional benefits of staple crops but emphasizing the addition of others that are available in the market.

We put the men to work in the kitchen!

We did a LOT of cooking demos, often with fortified recipes for existing Ghanaian meals. We discussed the benefits of breastfeeding, certain micro-nutrients during pregnancy, the correlation between food safety/hygiene and malnutrition caused by frequent diarrhea, and so much more. Because the crops and the culture of the northern regions of Ghana are vastly different from the southern regions, we had two separate workshops.

The best surprise is hearing updates from PCV's who attended and their stories about their empowered CP's holding space to talk about nutrition in their communities. Moments like these remind me of the reasons why I'm here and why I choose to stay. I have a lot more thoughts on the Nutrition IST that I'd like to spotlight in a post apart, just because there are so many facets to it. Look forward to it soon, hopefully haha

  It's November now, so I can stop listening to Christmas music in the privacy of my own room and start singing “Santa Baby” off-key in public. More updated posts coming somehow-soon (read: as soon as I finish my session plans for future nutrition IST’s, eek!)