#sorry trans negativity vent post but like.. why is everything so much harder for no reason‼‼ i dont even have it bad but it seeps into every

[violight-ghost]

Being trans is rotten work sometimes

[antagonist-chan]

My Fancy New About Page

So, as I said I was gonna, I decided to make an About page because my Bio page on my website wasn’t doing a good job of functioning as that.

Also, while I was at it, I learned how to do that fancy thing some blogs do where the ask and submit are on the same page, so now they’re both under the “Message” banner.

Anyways, here’s the text of my fancy new About:

So, as my description states, I’m Antagonist, a 20-year-old white trans lesbian with ADHD from Detroit. I'm really, REALLY big on trans pride and ADHD awareness. I also wear glasses and have dietary issues (not like anorexia or anything, but rather, low cholesterol).

Technical Note

This blog is technically a sideblog, but the "main" blog, antagonistchanprimary, literally only exists to keep this blog operational. It's got the same icon, nearly the same description and username, and its only post is a redirect to this blog.

My Computer Training

I'm currently pursuing an Associates degree in Computer Information Systems; after that, I plan to either get my Bachelors in it OR get a degree in something more artistic.

My mental health, and your interactions with me

Due to my mental hangups related to my childhood traumas, as well as symptoms of ADHD, I am incredibly insecure about basically everything (in particular, I have a nasty habit of thinking of myself as an inconvenience), so I'm rarely the one to make the approach. In other words; if you think I'm cool based on what you've seen of me, absolutely feel free to talk to me and try to make friends. I'm super shy. Also, you should try to be a LITTLE gentle with me since I take a lot of negative things harder than I really should, but not TOO gentle because sometimes getting figuratively punched in the gut is necessary to get me to stop being a jerk or an idiot. Like, be careful with me but don't take my shit if I'm misbehaving. I personally believe that I've suffered a lot of abuse, but I've also behaved problematically myself, so, like.

I'm also really slow and have a hard time keeping track of things, so a lot of my misbehavior is just a lack of thinking. So, just remember that if I'm acting out of line, it's more likely to be a mistake than actual spite, so poke me and be like, "Uh, hey, Antag, that's not cool" before doing anything more extreme. Most of the time, my response is either gonna be, "Shit, you're right, I'm sorry, gah" or "I don't quite agree, but I see where you're coming from and that's definitely valid, I'll need to think about that a little more".

My Blacklist

I have a blacklist, but it only consists of one thing: Seizure imagery. Not seizure-inducing imagery, I'm not epileptic, but imagery of seizures. I witnessed my dog have a seizure and die when I was seventeen, and it really freaked me out. I wouldn't exactly call seizures a trigger, because I don't have a full-on panic attack or anything, but I'd still like to avoid vividly remembering it.

Negativity and politics

I'm trying to cut back on political posting for the sake of my own and my followers' sanity. In fact, in general, I try to be a positive person, and I feel like I'm pretty positive by nature; if I'm being negative, it's either because I feel like I have a moral responsibility to be negative, because I'm feeling really bitter, or because of peer pressure (though, that last one isn't as much of a problem as it used to be).

Polyamory and my "roommate" (stepdad)

I was raised in a Poly household, so I'm not 100% concerned with monogamy. Like, I wouldn't really consider myself Poly, but I'm very used to the concept because I literally live with all three of my parents. If you see me talking about my "roommate", that's my third parent- I call him my "roommate" instead of my "stepdad" because I feel like "stepdad" implies that my biological parents aren't together anymore, which isn't true.

My romantic situation

I'm single. Having a girlfriend (or potentially a NB partner?) would be nice, but I'm not looking too terribly hard; I don't even have many friends yet (and the ones I do have I'm not close enough to), I don't really feel comfortable with my appearance yet because my transition is still ongoing, I'm super shy (as mentioned before), and having a girlfriend isn't the most important thing in the world.

Kins

I don't pretend to understand what kins are or how they work, but I'm supportive of them. I don't get why so many people on this site are so hostile towards the concept.

Callouts

I don't like gossip. I only believe in "Callouts" for the sake of venting, sharing information about dangerous people, explaining why you don't want to interact with someone, or trying to get someone to change their behavior; callouts for the sake of stirring up drama are tiring, annoying, and just mean.

Art

I play a lot of TF2 and make art. In particular, I work with 3D graphics, design things, and write. I also do some music, sound design, programming, and game development. I like taking different approaches to things a lot, approaching a project by making lots of different kinds of art for it. My art tends to follow one or more of five themes: Artsy, Cool, Romantic, Interesting, or Lewd. I also made this blog's theme myself. It's a constant work in progress, constantly getting changed to adapt to new things I've learned, inconveniences with its current form, and just changes in my preferences.

Fandoms

My main fandoms are, in no particular order, Transformers, Touhou Project, Hyperdimension Neptunia, Bang Dream!, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Doctor Who, Mass Effect, Pokemon, Haruhi Suzumiya, Vocaloid, SCP Foundation, and StarCraft.

I’m also really passionate about Knight Rider (the 1982-1986 series, not the 2008 series) and have been endlessly inspired and influenced by both Lyrical Nanoha and RWBY, but I don’t really consider those three to be particularly big fandoms; they’ve had their impact on me in other ways.