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guylty · 5 years ago

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The great thing about missing a round-up? That is catching up with double the fun the next week! Hello and sorry for the radio silence. You know me… once out of step, Guylty finds it hard to commit to coming back. Commitment issues, yeah right. Having said that – the reason I didn’t post last weekend was a short break in Germany with all the family on the occasion of my mother’s 70th birthday. As is the custom in (Northern) Germany, it was a big affair, but semi-formal this time, as it was not an evening dinner but a lunchtime, sit-down meal of a traditional local winter dish. We started off with a little walk to my dad’s ginkgo tree where all participants (half the invited guests are older than my mum and not necessarily avid walkers anymore) were greeted with a traditional schnapps. From there it was back to the restaurant for the meal with coffee and cake in the afternoon and finally one for the road at about 7pm. It was great fun, and even though I realise that our local speciality does not look particularly attractive on the plate – plus, I won’t even tell you what it is called; its name sounds worse than it already looks – it was delicious and brought back many memories.

The ginkgo tree… not that impressive in winter

The table of presents

Flowers are always good

The meaty part of the meal

The 18th century gate house of our local castle

Anyway, sorry for the detour, you have come here for the round-up, and the round-up you shall have.

Look, Adam is already grumpy because I have waffled about non-RA stuff…

Riepu10 says “just Guy”. But listen, how could Guy ever be “just”…

For the Cats enthusiasts among you (I am looking at one person in particular), maybe this post by grumpy-jellicle-cat makes sense? I couldn’t really see RA in any of the shots, but then again…

Lip-smackingly good gifs of Adam by spensermonroe

This had never occurred to me, but peneigh-dzredfohl has a point. The curly hair is the give-away

I hadn’t seen the My Zoe trailer in English yet. And strangely, with the non-dubbed, original voices there now, it suddenly feels much more interesting and real to me. Trailer posted by deepestfirefun

I don’t think I will ever watch The Lodge, but I could look at a million screenshots of Richard drinking water. Thank you to deepestfirefun again

The stuff of a thousand fangirls’ dreams. Thank you, Riepu10

Throwback to RDC5 with this picture of RA’s signature and comment in gatissed’s signed book

Interesting reinterpretation of a much-loved scene in TS, giffed and put together by mezzmerizedbyrichard

Richardarmitagefanpage has a few new pics of RA – from TS set and last week’s Graham Norton radio show

Also by richardarmitagefanpage – cool fan art/birthday cards

Great interpretation by crazytxgradstudent of the well-known theatre picture of Astrov wet and drunk. You know what? I would love to make this a series of posts where we look at pictures and re-interpret them for a different chaRActer

This two-gif-set by riepu10 is in the same category as the one from SDCC of Richard simply breathing. Another thing that I could watch for hours 😂

Ooooh, Valentine’s Day. I totally missed it. Here’s richardarmitagefanpage’s gift for you

Nice one… Anthony Head on playing Adam’s father… And lovely Richard being as complimentary as usual. Found by richardarmitagefanpage

Riepu10’s Valentine’s cards – always good

Ride a horse with him??? *raises eyebrow* Ooookay, omgopalsapphire

Nice manip for Valentine’s Day by nellindreams

21st century Thornton? A comic sketch by skepticalfrog

If you haven’t seen it yet on Twitter – sinnaminie has plushified Astrov. This is really cute, and I am sure tempted to have this one in my collection

Mezzmerizedbyrichard has also focussed on Adam’s lips…

If I hadn’t already binged TS, mzannthropy would have completely convinced me. Convincing arguments

He’s never been in *my* home town, but I kind of understand the feeling that theliveshipparagon describes

I know, daddy!Armitage doesn’t really rock everybody’s boat, but I think mezzmerizedbyrichard’s gif set might warm a few hearts here and there

I have to admit that those family pictures from TS made me want to see a whole spin-off about the pre-drama times of the Prices… Picture posted by richardarmitagefanpage

All the official pictures from Richard’s appearance on Lorraine in one handy photo set by fullerology. Man, he looks great at the mo…

WORD! mzannthropy

Nice! Richard Armitage – or rather: Guy of Gisborne als live action Trevor Belmont. By indigoneutrino

Seeing this gif (plus comment) by yorkshirewench, I am beginning to agree with the suggestion of RA as Jackman and Siobhan Finneran as Marie Evans…

Seriously, “lose the hat, dad”! That also applies to you, Richard!!!! Gifs by riepu10

Right, 30 items? Got to be a new record here!? And I haven’t even delved in the other tags apart from #richardarmitage. Yep, as I said, sometimes it is actually a good thing when I miss a week.

Hope you have enjoyed that. Quick shout-out to everyone who has commented in the last while. I will catch up, soon, also with my e-mails. Apologies for my lack of replying. Yeah, I admit I was lazy. But then I was also completely distracted the last couple of days because RAnet had suddenly developed a major hiccup: For most of Thursday and Friday the site was stuck on a round-about. Well, or in tech terms: it was endlessly redirecting, which meant the site was not accessible. Added to the problem was that for some reason my login details suddenly did not work anymore and I was unable to re-set my password. It took several hours on live chat with my hoster’s support team to sort out the issue. But it *has* been sorted, the site is up and running again. Phew.

We all deserve a nice long weekend now!

Sonja ❤

2020 Armitage Weekly Round-up #7 The great thing about missing a round-up? That is catching up with double the fun the next week!

#Adam Price #Guy of Gisborne #Richard Armitage #The Stranger #Thorin Oakenshield #Weekly tumblr Round-up

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lizzybeth1986 · 5 years ago

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Quick Thoughts on Is This The Real Life or Is This Just A Very Bizarre Fantasy?

• Here are the tags to block if you don't want to see this post on your dash: #long post, #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, #trh qt reblogs.

• It's...Chapter 10. Often known as the midpoint. I know TRR isn't exactly the most nuanced series out there, but you know what used to happen by midpoints here? Important plot stuff that had buildup and development prior to it happening.

• Funny enough all three chapter 10s so far had something to do with Constantine! Book 1's had him announce he was stepping down and making Liam king, Book 2 had the reveal that the conspiracy against the MC was his idea. And then he actually dies in Book 3 Chapter 10. Now that he's no more, I guess they brought back another asshole dad to take his place.

• PB if you were really in a mood to bring back Bertrand's dad the least you could have done was build it up properly. You had an entire freaking chapter to at least build up on the Beaumont family relationships and issues! Yet all we see is that motorcycle with a hint that never fully gets told and very little besides that.

• Like, the narrative usually takes soooo much time to build everything properly, right? With chapters and chapters of hints? Look at all these things that you built up over chapters and sometimes over books: Liam's issues with his dad...The whereabouts of Savannah...Drake's connection to Bastien...Drake's mom's ranch...Drake's special relationship with his dad...Drake's duel...Drake's secret wedding...oh.

• Screenshots:

Hana: The Abhirio YouTube channel

Drake: @thefirstcourtesan and the BizzysChoices YouTube channel

Maxwell: @itsbrindleybinch

Title: The Beaumont Bachelor Bash

Alternative Title: Proof That Drake Is Undoubtedly Leona's Nephew. Even When He's Trying To Be Nice.

• Now Playing As Bertrand.

Wh - what...?

Okay but this is probably a tiny section and then my MC will come and save the day, right? Right?? I mean it's happened before (one of the most recent times we got a Bertrand PoV was in a Chapter 10, in fact!)

• ...how the hell did a motorcycle fit inside THAT BOX?

• I know, I know. It's mentioned time and again that the package is huuuuge. But that's...not the kind of packaging I'd be expecting for something that large. It wouldn't be SQUARE, at least.

• Okay wait. What was Maxwell panicking and stress-dancing about again? Bertrand isn't cottoning on to this plan as quickly as Maxwell/the LI was implying in that text.

• Okay wait so their great plan for the BBBB was...Bertrand putting away his cutlery and..."roughin' it"? Aren't bachelor/ette parties supposed to be catered to the guest of honour's needs?

Or is "something you want" only meant for Savannah? Because Hana actually read up and did research and tried to cater the entire party to whatever Savannah liked - not drag her along for something that wasn't her thing with "expand your horizons!" as an excuse.

• Like me, Bertrand doesn't fully trust his brother-in-law's motives.

• Wait what.

.• Bertrand is getting a new outfit. Oh he's wearing it already. Okay good. Must be free!

•

WHAT. WHAT. ARE YOU TELLING ME I'M NOT SEEING ESTHER FOR THE REST OF THIS CHAPTER

• I am NOT buying Bertrand new clothes. I didn't buy any last book, and I'm not going to start buying them now. Even if I didn't buy him the swanky maroon sweater last book he somehow wound up wearing it anyway in the finale. I'm sure he'll survive and they'll probably let him wear it for free some other time lol.

• Drake leads the boys to a nearby river, hoping to catch some fish that they can cook for dinner later.

• Bertrand gets...a dilapidated fishing pole. While everyone has prepared enough to get their own, perfectly alright ones. Drake is truly from Leona's bloodline, giving Bertrand stuff that'll make his task difficult (remember how she gave Bertrand a really rough horse to the country fair?). "I just wanted you to believe in yourself", my ass. You're doing this for your own entertainment.

• Also wasn't Maxwell organizing this party? Why does the end result look so much like Drake's idea? Or maybe the boys are splitting the activities between each other or something idk.

•

• That's a...puffer fish?

• The funniest option is the choose to grab Drake because Bertrand calls him "the Aggressively Rustic Drake" haha. It means of course that Bertrand will not get a fish but that's okay, Drake and Liam catch more than enough for dinner.

• But if Bertrand DOES catch that big fish his chest is all puffed out in pride and he notices no one else caught a fish as big as his 😄

• You can TELL Liam chose the next activity, because it's so aggressively Cordonian 😂 You need to shoot an apple with a weapon (preferably a bow and arrow, but the game offers you a rifle and an ornate gun as well).

• Of course I went ahead and shot Drake with a rubber bullet. Sorry Bertrand but I'm sure you can get your Knight-Marksmanship and Honorary Defender of the Realm award in a kinder person's playthrough 😅

• It's a nice scene, quite reminiscent of the first half of Maxwell's armoury scene last book, which involves Maxwell and the MC playing the same game.

• Now that we're done with the apples, it's time to bring out the bubbly!

• "This is not my bachelor party," says Drake when a surprised Liam asks him about why there's no whiskey. Coulda fooled me dude I've never heard of people giving the groom a dilapidated fishing pole to fish with for that kind of thing. I mean like more than 90% of this entire plan seems to cater to your tastes more than his.

• Bertrand (about the bubbly): This is from an excellent region of France!

Maxwell: Which one?

Bertrand: ...Champagne.

😂

• It's now night, so time for some...idk heartfelt man-talk or something.

•

It starts out with the main LI speaking about Bertrand and Savannah's relationship, praising them for how far they've come and there is some emphasis on the fact that they have Bartie. This leads the LI in question (if they're there) to talk candidly about their relationship with the MC and their sadness that they aren't pregnant yet.

- Liam: Speaks of how amazing the MC is and wonders if he's putting her through too much pressure on his Queen with the expectations of an heir.

- Drake: Very similar to Liam's, but this time Liam apologizes for forcing them into this kind of pressure and promises to withdraw it if that's what they want. (Liam will allow it, the narrative won't!)

- Hana: Since neither of the women are there, the conversation goes straight into Liam wondering if he did the wrong thing by placing that much pressure on them, and Bertrand reassuring him that both are phenomenal women and any child they bring up will be a worthy successor to the throne.

- Maxwell: From what @itsbrindleybinch was telling me, there's no discussion about Liam's offer or the pressure from him! The conversation is more centered around his fear that he might screw up in parenting...to which his brother has some of the best responses:

Istg when the writers really allow for those two to blossom on their own, the Brothers Beaumont dynamic is fantastic. I loved both responses from Bertrand.

I'm still wondering why there isn't much from Liam about the pressure he's placing on them, though! I mean, Maxwell and his wife are put under the same amounts of pressure so you'd expect Liam to speak up there too, right? (correct me if I'm wrong, because I can't find a full playthrough of Maxwell's route anywhere).

• The discussion slowly progresses into one about Bertrand's love for Savannah and not knowing how to show it properly to her...to which Drake responds that Bertrand needs to SHOW what he feels and maybe do a big dramatic gesture like the ones you see in romcoms (racing through an airport to confess your love, or confessing it while standing in the rain)...lmao I love how big gestures are something Savannah wants for herself but somehow she can't do the smallest things to help Bertrand feel more comfortable in her own damn home.

• Also I need to laugh at how desperately the writers are now trying to show us how "open minded" Drake is LMAO. TRR Drake looked down on his nose on practically all things not macho (including authentic Chinese food and pink cakes) and now they're making it sound like he's a romcom fan and willing to experiment with a tutu.

• Not buying that serenading scene. I didn't handhold Bertrand into telling Savannah about the Beaumont finances, nor did I handhold him into proposing. He did pretty okay without my help so far.

• The serenading scene has two main components (besides the logistics of communicating and then climbing up to her window) - telling Savannah his feelings and then singing to her. The first main options include suggestions from the boys:

Liam: Very sweet and romantic, with the kind of flowery language you would expect from Liam, and that Bertrand feels so comfortable with that he smiles as he says the words.

Drake: Very much, "I was an idiot but now I've come to my senses and I'm the luckiest man ever because of you" which...sure I can put it down to bias for his sister but now it just annoys me when I hear this. Esp during a time when he's claiming he actually likes Bertrand now.

Maxwell: Is just so fucking funny 😂

Bertrand: Savannah, I'm here because you're my...boo???

Maxwell: Trust me! Keep going!

Bertrand: Ahem. You are my boo, and I'm your...okay I'm not going to say that.

Savannah: What are you saying???

• For actually serenading her with a song you can either choose to go sweet and romantic, or you go "sexy", which tbh seems to be the funnier option because most of it is Bertrand muttering MmmMMmMmmm in place of all the sexy parts. Which is funny considering he and Savannah conceived a child atop an office desk of all places way before any of us even got to KISS our LIs 🤣

• Savannah is happy, Bertrand is happy, the boys are all back in the camp where they'll be spending the night. There's a tiny bit of "foreshadowing" in the ensuing conversation since Barthelemy is mentioned, but very much in a "Dad would be proud of you" way. I put that word "foreshadowing" in quotes coz there is very little it gives us, as opposed to how other things that have received foreshadowing were built up.

• Uh oh. BEAR ATTACK. From Kenna's pet-bear-from-Aurelia's descendant. Who somehow ended up in the woods in Texas 😂

• Drake tries to distract the bear, and Bertrand can either join him or go with Liam and Maxwell who are leading the way to an alternative location.

• We're out in the wilderness somewhere, and getting back to our tents is a diamond option. It's a fun diamond option though, and it doesn't involve me doing any unnecessary matchmaking.

• Liam is the strategist who makes a battle plan. Why don't I get to see him do these kind of things in his actual job PB!! Drake "knows the most woodcraft" and will therefore make a good scout, both he and Liam can draw the bear away, and Maxwell's hitherto-unseen present is now their secret weapon. Bertrand isn't sure about this plan but goes along with it anyway.

• Everything goes as per plan, and Maxwell unleashes the "secret weapon": Bertrand's beloved Cavilieri Novanta 9S motorbike. There's a small hint about him having to perhaps give it away or sell it when his father, well, did whatever he did, and Maxwell somehow traced it and got it back. I'm kinda certain that bike may feature in Bertrand's flashback if he's having one next chapter. Bertrand is emotional AND ecstatic, learning again to control his bike and to enjoy being on it.

• The best part of the bear scene, is when he uses his Duke of Ramsford voice and gives the bear the ole what-for 😂

(Bottom four screenshots from BizzysChoices' YouTube channel!)

• Even the bear could not withstand the severe tongue lashing LMAO. Bertrand has the option of ending this...um...verbal duel by telling his furry opponent to tell his children he has been bested by a Beaumont.

• The bear slumps back home in shame, but Bertrand is worried about what other tests Drake has in store. 'Tests?' Drake says innocently.

•

You're forgetting the part where you constantly blamed Bertrand for everything, knowing full well your sister made her fair share of mistakes. Or the part where you pretty much sabotaged an investigation just to stroke your ego about Bertrand getting her pregnant. Or the part where you repeatedly made it clear that you thought he didn't deserve Savannah. Or the part where you made him cluck like a chicken just before he proposed, just so you could have your moment to gloat. Or the part where you would shoot looks at Bertrand if he even so much as hinted your sister wasn't perfect. Or the part where your aunt kept making snide remarks about him, disrespected him, and gave him a rough horse, while you and your mother and your sister stood by and watched. And NOW you claim that the only person doubting Bertrand is BERTRAND?

Yeah. Well...tldr:

• My gosh. The amount of retconning happening here is giving me a headache.

• Like...I like that Drake can be nicer to Bertrand now and that most of the tension is gone. But let's not act like Drake wasn't knowingly adding fuel to the fire before??

• Anyway, the boys tell Bertrand they are proud of him and proceed to sleep in their tents or wherever they've chosen to sleep for the night.

• PB gives Liam the very, very rare chance to remind Drake that he grew up in a palace. Doesn't mean much, but I'm fairly happy.

• FINALLY. Esther's home and I can finally play as her again!

• If you bought the serenading scene, there are a couple extra lines showing Savannah and Bertrand looking super super happy.

• There's an old man at the door.

• BARTHELEMY???

• Neither of his sons even look like him. And it reads as if Bertrand is less surprised about the possibility that Barthelemy is alive than Maxwell is. What's going on.

General Thoughts:

• Alright, so it looks like this week we will be exploring the Beaumont family history, looking into why Bertrand lost his zest for life and ended up taking care of the estate when all this time his father was actually alive, and how the Beaumonts wound up so poor. There had better be a substantial amount of Maxwell because he's not been getting a lot of attention this book.

• I'm wondering if Barthelemy's return will cause Bertrand and Maxwell's insecurities to rise again, and we'll probably need to help them through that or something.

• Looks like the next chapter might have a young!Maxwell scene or Maxwell's first diamond scene, or both? Idk. I can't say for sure because I don't exactly trust the team on these things.

• There were...elements of the chapter that were good, I'll give it that. Bertrand's got an interesting narrative voice. You can tell it's him by the way he uses titles, by the way he speaks when he is proud of something he has achieved, the language itself that is heavy in its bearing. The scenes were fun from what I've seen. The bonding was good. Problem was...in a better book this wouldn't have been so irritating and such a sign of how not into the most important things about this book the team is.

• Since they had the time and the ideas, why the hell was the buildup to this reveal so flimsy and half-baked? I mean if you're going to give Bertrand an entire freaking chapter, shouldn't you have been using at least that space to have Bertrand speak a little more about Barthelemy? Or build it up earlier? All this time we'd had to deal with Savannah's griping and complaining and Leona's snide remarks, we could have spent learning from Maxwell a little about his family.

• Usually buildup to a lot of these things happen through hints over chapters. But this? Little to none. Maybe like two half-sentences said just before the reveal. It's all kinds of shitty, and it's what happens when the most important Beaumont is a Walker.

• I'm also pretty surprised Liam doesn't get to apologize to Maxwell the way he does to Drake about the royal heir thing.

• So the Walker Ranch chapters started around Chapter 6, and might possibly end around Chapter 12 (with a detour to Auvernal around Chapter 9). That's 5 whole chapters + one more to tour the States itself.

• I know the original idea was to do an epilogue book revolving around the Walker ranch, so there's obviously a lot more clarity in those chapters than in the others. But that is still no excuse. If they were going to change track they should have been doing it properly. There's no excuse for this kind of selective laziness especially when it's been manifested countless times before.

• I also find the whole idea of revolving the epilogue book still pretty problematic. At the core of it that would be more of Drake and his family (which was already happening honestly) and it would mean they are absolutely front and center of everything. If the original idea was to focus fully on the Walkers...yikes.

• Yeah honestly, this chapter was pretty iffy for me. And I'm not exactly very enthusiastic about writing for it, or playing the next chapter.

• Also! For those who didn't see it, this past week I'd been working on an essay about the treatment for Kiara and Penelope in TRR Book 3, and it's here below in case you haven't read it and you want to!

To Be Not Heard: Kiara, Penelope and the Question of Validation.

• Alright! On to the next chapter.

If you like it and want to discuss it, I'd be only too happy to read your comments! 😀

#long post #the royal heir #trh quick thoughts #trh qts #bertrand beaumont #maxwell beaumont #king liam #drake walker

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klbloodx · 6 years ago

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HLS Chapter 5 - 2027.2.12 Niansi

(Source: Google search result)

In front of Xiao Nanzhu were two labour contracts.

A4 paper in black and white with 365 red fingerprints under the employees’ side, while the employer’s side was still empty.

Ever since Niansi crawled out of the fridge, Xiao Nanzhu had a very complicated and twisted expression sprawled on his face.

Perhaps he had indeed run out of ideas on how to comment on this series of supernatural occurrences. He frowned and lifted the totally unguarded Niansi up.

Poor Niansi was only just a frail and feeble scholar. He couldn’t even budge a single bit and instead yelled and made weird noises as he was carried to the wall on Xiao Nanzhu’s shoulder.

Xiao Nanzhu sneered as he hung the old Huangli properly back onto the wall, and then without minding Niansi’s unceasing objection, he proceeds to shove poor soul Niansi back into the Huangli.

“AHHHH! Xiao Nanzhu! Are you crazy?! This young man’s head! AHH! This young man’s hairstyle! This young man’s face hnnn!”

Niansi’s wailing really sounded disgraceful and embarrassing.

Xiao Nanzhu was annoyed too, as he saw that this weirdo could not be forcefully stuffed back in. But Niansi was really frightened by this hooligan act of Xiao Nanzhu, and he quickly took out the labour contract from within in his sleeves.

As Xiao Nanzhu suppressed his anger and looked over it, he was left speechless. Numerous employment terms were printed on an eight-page contract, from wage benefits to the specifics of the job. The main gist of it was about how to become a Huangli Shi.

Huangli Shi…

Legend has it that it refers to a Fangshi who can alter the effects of seasonal solstices, solar terms, and festivals and predict each day’s fortune. Up until the modern era, due to the increase in new international holidays and memorial days, what was once in the old Huangli had new blood steadily infused in.

(Source: Screenshot from PV)

Being the working partner of all calendar gods in the Huangli, the interests of both the Huangli Shi and the calendar gods were protected by this labour contract, so inevitably more details were added to the list.

For example: the individual functions and origins of all of the traditional festivals; the responsibilities of season and changes in time shouldered by the solstices; even specific arrangements for calendar gods in case they needed sick days, maternity leave, or even marital leave were listed looking legit.

Since it was already A.C 2027 now, things were more organised and well-regulated.

The modern calendar has a mix of traditional festivals and holidays of the Gregorian calendar. Although this means that there would be an erosion of traditional and cultural values to a certain degree, some deviations were to be expected because of the way the solar calendar operates.

As such, the contemporary Huangli Shi is responsible for all calendar gods in the new civil calendar and the various traditional festivals and solstices of the past. But what was more important to Xiao Nanzhu lay at the bottom of the list of all former Huangli Shi: he saw his grandmother’s name, Xiao Ruhua, written there.

Xiao Nanzhu’s grandmother had signed such a labour contract when she was alive, and she had concealed this from everyone. Even her own grandson had no knowledge of this.

(Source: Baidu search result)

In Xiao Nanzhu’s memories, his grandmother never failed in foretelling any of her customers’ fortunes. Every wedding and funeral predicted by her were sure to go smoothly. There was even one time where she was able to accurately predict that a pregnant mother living in the nearby alley would have quintuplets①.

It should be known that even hospitals can’t detect such things at the start of a pregnancy. It doesn’t make sense that an old lady who didn’t know any science could tell from a glance.

Xiao Nanzhu also thought that she probably made a wild guess and got lucky.

But as he recalled, he started to feel that his old lady who never liked to dance Guangchangwu②, yet could chase him down two streets at her age to beat him up, really deserved her reputation as Xiao Shenpo③.

If it wasn’t because of how unreliable Niansi looked crawling out of the fridge telling him all this, Xiao Nanzhu would’ve seriously considered the feasibility of taking on such a job.

However, all things aside, he was in dire need of a proper job.

Considering the situation he was presently in, he would rather take on this strange job than to involve himself in Situ Zhang bro’s Pyramid scam pitch. Though, this job didn’t seem to be any more reliable either. Exorcising evil spirits, praying to gods, deciphering dreams, and altering fortunes��—there isn’t even a scientific basis for any of those…

Youths nowadays aren’t like those of the past. Only the elderly would still possess the heart to fear and revere the supernatural.

Medicine and technology have advanced greatly in the modern era. It is different from when people relied on prayer for blessings and healings a thousand years ago. Everyone eventually became contemptuous towards those insensible and foolish ways that handled people’s lives like jokes. And that also led to those traditional professions that can’t be explained by science to be deemed as feudalism dross.

Fortune telling and astrology, once golden industries that could stir up the world, became the most lambasted.

On a second thought, this kind of thinking may have been too biased. Especially now that Xiao Nanzhu has seen the occult with his very own eyes, he could no longer bring himself to say these antagonistic words again.

Yet this change in mindset hadn’t managed to convince him to accept the calendar gods’ offer, because he immediately realised that…

The Huangli Shi has to work for all 365 days! Not even a single! day! off!

“Well, there are breaks in between work for sure, and the job isn’t that intense——it’s quite a leisure most of the time… Moreover, the contract only starts next year. Everyone is still resting right now and will start work after New Years. The one you met last night was Xiaonian. He is one of the 22 traditional festivals and is in charge of fire… If you have the time, you can also let Chuyi(1st) and Chuer(2nd) help you get accustomed to the workflow as well…”

Niansi stammered as he took out a comb to tidy up his hair. Xiao Nanzhu silently listened but didn’t show any signs of affirmation. That arrogant attitude of his made it seem as if he was looking for a fight.

He flipped through the contract with his eyes half-opened. His laidback manner of sitting on the sofa with crossed legs as he smoked effectively concealed his thoughts. Xiao Nanzhu’s jawline gave off a cold feeling. It’s no wonder that people find him hard to get along with if they’re unfamiliar with him. However, reality has proven that Xiao Nanzhu’s personality may be even more difficult to get along with than his appearance let on.

Niansi sat down with him but didn’t know how to start the topic.

After all, he’s kind of familiar with Xiao Nanzhu’s temper. He couldn’t do anything about this untamed, wild horse since when he was still young. If he really didn’t want to take on this job, then their work would have to be delayed even further.

By the time Xiao Nanzhu noticed Niansi secretly observing him from the corner of his eyes, he took out a cigarette, nipped it in between his fingers, and slowly began.

“Sorry for just now, well… How do I address you?”

Fiddling with a fan in his hand, Niansi in his green robes paused as he heard Xiao Nanzhu talking to him. He covered his mouth and awkwardly coughed. he then cupped his hands④ and bowed as he spoke courteously.

(Source: Baidu search result)

“I am Niansi. I was in a panic when I came out of the fridge just now. Please pardon my bad manners…”

Niansi spoke in a pleasant tone as if he was about to sing opera. Nevertheless, with how clean and studious he looked, it was hard to dislike him for his pedantic manners…

Xiao Nanzhu nodded with an “oh” and couldn’t help but glance at the old Huangli that was hung back on the wall. Right now, the Huangli was flipped to the page of Niansi, which looked about the same as any other day. The only difference was that the person that should have stayed in the painting was here before him.

Xiao Nanzhu suddenly felt absurd.

He never have thought he would walk on such a bizarre path when he first came back home, but he guessed he had no better choice left for him anyway. It’s just that… why does this Huangli Shi thing sound so stupid…?

Xiao Nanzhu detested the name in his heart for awhile but didn’t let it show on his face. He continued to elicit information from Niansi in front of him. Niansi was obviously a naive one as he let loose everything he knew upon hearing Xiao Nanzhu’s questions.

“Hmm… Calendar gods would stay in the human world when they’re at work for one day and night as part of the cycle, and after that we’d return back to the Huangli and rest for a year… What we usually do is eliminate the evil spirits and disasters that linger in the human world and bring blessings to mankind. But people have since stopped believing in such things… So the scope of our customers has become gradually smaller. We could only depend on foretelling suitable dates for weddings and childbirths to feed ourselves. Of course, us calendar gods can come out even if we’re not working; it just depends on whether we’re willing to… Your grandmother used to call out Yuanxiao and the others every New Years if she couldn’t find any mahjong friends to play with all night, but I guess you wouldn’t have remembered… You were still young at that time—— only about four or five…”

Niansi seemed excited talking about the past. Xiao Nanzhu listened quietly and found it rather interesting.

He was actually inclined to take up the job now, but he also wanted to know more about the profession before he gave Niansi a definite answer. Thus, he didn’t interrupt Niansi and declined Situ Zhang’s calls to drink a few times.

It’s imaginable how Situ Zhang must’ve been hopping around anxiously on the other side of the phone. Xiao Nanzhu smirked to himself for a bit and turned off his phone altogether.

After all, this is something crucial for his future career. He wanted to be prepared and let Niansi continue to talk more about the workflow.

It’s no wonder people say that scholarly people have great charisma: they can make everything they say to sound intelligent by simply talking. Truth is, what Niansi knew were nothing more than trivial matters and gossip about the other calendar gods; no proper business came out of his mouth. Actually, Xiao Nanzhu was very serious coming into this, but he unintentionally got lured in by all the gossip.

“Let me tell you this secret, don’t you tell anybody else, alright?… Actually, Qixi Festival and the one on the 24th of February are on really bad terms with each other, you know the reasons right? It’s all because of their similar names… So don’t mention about Qixi during Valentine’s in two days, or else he will surely turn crazy…”

Niansi’s advice made Xiao Nanzhu snicker. From there, Niansi introduced to him every single calendar god from Nianwu(5th) until the upcoming Valentine’s Day. However, when it comes to Chuxi, the last day of the year, Niansi skipped it.

“What about Chuxi? Is he special?”

Xiao Nanzhu became interested as he saw Niansi hesitate. Niansi quickly put a finger on his lips “shh!”, and snuck up to Xiao Nanzhu’s ear and whispered.

“Chuxi is different from all of us, I shouldn’t tell you anymore, mn. You’ll know it when you see him, en en……”

Xiao Nanzhu didn’t bother to ask further seeing Niansi being so stealthy.

In any case, he’ll meet him in a few days. No matter how difficult he was to get along with, it’ll only just be for a day. Up until this point, Xiao Nanzhu was convinced to try working as the glorious Huangli Shi for awhile. Niansi also mentioned that he could quit whenever he likes——he just needed to help them find a new boss if he left.

Because a portion of the Huangli Shi’s income goes to the calendar gods, the quality of the Huangli Shi’s life would directly affect theirs. The few days before the end of the year would be his probationary period. After New Years, they would continue discussing this.

Night arrived unknowingly after the long talk. Xiao Nanzhu didn’t seem to invite Niansi to stay for dinner, while Niansi knowingly said “I’m going home for dinner. Your grandmother also didn’t provide meals for us last time.”

He tidied up the contract signed by Xiao Nanzhu before he left But as soon as he was about to go, Xiao Nanzhu suddenly thought of something and called him back, then handed him a tortoise⑤ from the kitchen.

(Source: Baidu search result, soft-shell turtles bite really hard and can dash across the road at very fast speed.)

“This…?”

Niansi was rather dumbfounded holding this big tortoise. Xiao Nanzhu looked and grinned as he pointed at the Huangli on the wall.

“Help me give this to Xiaonian and say this is my compensation, so don’t cry anymore. Aren’t turtles much more long-lived than carps? Whaddya say?”

1. I did my research and apparently, twins can only be detected around 5-6 weeks, provided that the mother did an early scan. I assume the pregnancy was less than 5-6 weeks in, but I’m not sure about quintuplets, that’s amazing!

2. Guangchangwu 广场舞：It also means open-air fitness dancing, it’s a popular hobby among the middle-aged and onwards women (mostly) in China to dance together in the evening or at night in an open space to stay fit and make friends.

3. Shenpo 神婆：Something similar to witch or sorceress.

4. To cup one’s hand 拱手：This is an important form of etiquette in ancient China. This kind of salutation was formed during the Zhou Dynasty, it has transformed throughout history and there’re different forms of salutations when meeting different kinds of people.

5. Wangba 王八：This can both mean tortoise or bastard. Usually refers to Chinese soft-shell turtles (鳖) which are really different from the harmless and slow tortoise which can be kept as pets, as seen from calling someone a wangba is a vulgarity suggests how hated and aggressive this animal is.

This chapter is edited by Noxeru.

Chuxi is finally mentioned by Xiao Nanzhu in this chapter!! Although he still hasn’t made an appearance yet, let me know what you guys think? :))

#cnovel #huanglishi #黄历师 #chinese almanac master #huang li shi #idonghua #chinese animation #hls

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ryouverua · 6 years ago

Text

A Certain Lab, Reprised

lab get lab get lab get lab get LAB GET

Everything around us is either exploding or on fire so Sweetcheeks and I are going to retreat to our space safe, investigating

am I talking about the school exploding or tumblr

we just don’t know

Speak of the devil!

“I AM HERE!!!”

“K1-B0 THeRE WAS AN OPEN WINDOW OH MY GOD, THERE’S GLASS EVERYWHERE, OH NO -”

“OH YEAH!”

Didn’t really wait at all tbh 8′D

Actually all jokes aside Sweetcheeks is right, it was hella cool - and also thank god he was in the hallway and far away from the window! K1-b0 keeps asking if Shuichi is okay but is being incredibly reckless at the same time - what if Shuichi had been showered with that glass? He wouldn’t come out of that unscathed. Was that just K1-b0 taking more of his uncorked anger out on the school?

... Hm, though I guess calling it ‘anger’ isn’t quite right. Or, at least, K1-b0’s fluctuating between ‘anger’ and sort of... more... ‘grim determination’.

Yeah, he didn’t even flinch at being complimented. He’s got serious tunnel vision right now.

Damn.

LMAO SHUICHI’S SCREEN -

There’s only one other place I can think of that qualifies...

DON’T YOU DARE SHUICHI WE FINALLY GOT HERE AND I HAVE QUESTIONS

Oh thank god I want to satisfy my curiosity about the library as much as you do but RANTARO’S TALENT FIRST

Again - damn, K1-b0.

Whoa -

..... This has a very YGO Season 0 vibe. Sorry, that’s a weird comment. Maybe the better way to describe it is that the words ‘punishment game’ immediately come to mind? Some sorta wheel/puzzle thing in the back, cards hanging from the ceiling, some sort of... table...? Kinda reminds me of a poker table, though there’s no center to it... Maybe he... really did specialize in death games...?

Actually, if Celeste had an Ultimate Lab, I feel like it would have a similar aesthetic ~

IT’S HIS SOUL ROOM WE’RE IN RANTARO’S SOUL ROOM

“Yeah so I never shared with you all, but part of the Ultimate Detective status includes the ability to shoot spirit energy from your finger like a gun -”

I don’t think that’s completely wrong but I feel like the actual talent name is going to be x100 times more ominous. 8′D

MAN end-game Himiko is so different than early-game Himiko! Nice to have you onboard - wait, I just realized we’ve got a magician sidekick helping us in an investigation. Is this the right time to make an Ace Attorney reference, or -

Okay, huh. There’s actually way less to click on than I thought there would be. WHAT IS WITH THE MOST CRYPTIC PEOPLE HAVING THE LEAST INTERACTIVE ROOMS, COME ON DRV3 -

Okay, that laptop first:

Empty laptop.... okay, let’s set that aside for now.

Here’s the real question - what came first? The K1-b0 we knew for the first five chapters or this K1-b0? Which one should we consider to be the ‘true’ K1-b0? I think the game is implying that this is the real K1-b0, and the one who we knew up until now was a ‘controlled’ version of him - but at the same time, if the antenna was built in with him, could it be considered part of the original design and therefore part-and-parcel of K1-b0?

omfg I just realized the implications of a white-haired boy hearing a voice (that he literally calls ‘voice’) in his head who may or may not be controlling him behind the scenes be still my heart you’re getting distracted

WHELP THERE’S REALLY ONLY ONE OTHER THING TO CLICK HERE SO -

Like a safe?

......... Omfg it says ‘B’ and ‘A’ on them and it has pictograms on them. Is... this going where I think this is going...

Okay Himiko is being our in-game tutorial and noting that the zodiac is on one side and astrological signs are on the other but honestly I’m fine to skip all past it tbh because there it is, there’s our fucking ‘horse a’ and ‘twin b’ is gemini, Kokichi himself was a gemini, this was where we were going with those hints??? Rantaro’s lab?! idk I just don’t find puzzles like this hard I kinda thrive off of symbolism and mythology in general 8′D

Wait.... doesn’t that mean Kokichi couldn’t have been the one to leave those messages behind?!

Okay this was pretty cute so I left this in ~ but straight up two minutes later it was just a string of KACHUNK KACHUNK KACHUNK until I got it open immediately -

.... the symbols are weirdly cute though, hehe ~

Don’t worry Sweetcheeks, the only life-threatening time-waster we’ll spend all of our time on is fluff text!

Aaaaaaand done. Thanks Kokichi!

MAN I LOVE THESE TWO SPRITES TOGETHER FOR SOME REASON

Ah, so they’re talking about the stone with ‘horse a’ written on it - which... does make me curious, honestly. I think the existence of this safe pretty much confirms that he didn’t write the original message... right?

When did the letters start appearing aside from ‘horse a’? Chapter 3? Was that around the time he concocted that particular plan, then?

H-Hey now, he’s also the reason we found the second clue. 8′D I mean, it wouldn’t have been terrible to go through 12 different combinations with ‘horse a’ determined, but it wouldn’t have been ideal.

i bet you can buy that, that is literally perfect DR merch

IT’S

THE VIDEO

THE VIDEO!!!!

yeah I’m totally going to pull up my old post to see what matches and what doesn’t

“Oh god I forgot how absolutely stunning he was.”

OH I thought that was an abstract red background, silly me - 8′D well, that was probably the point. It might give away the game if we saw something more concrete behind him way back in... what, Chapter 4?

Anyway, more importantly, Rantaro shouldn’t have had access to this place... except he clearly did. So... he... must have been here before. And he knew more about the killing game, or seemed to intuitively know more, than anyone else. He... must have done this before. Except he had made it all the way here last time??? So there is a loop of some sort? Though it can’t be an outright time loop because otherwise there would be no need to record a video (unless like I considered it’s a ‘simulated’ time loop, aka VR-style like last game)...

This makes me wonder how we saw the video the first time. Was it just another flashback/tease like the meteorites were, before we saw the flashback lights?

I mean, I guess it’s kinda hard for recording!Rantaro to prove, but we’ll have to take him at his word here I suppose. 8′D

OKAY

WE’RE JUST GOING STRAIGHT INTO IT THEN

are you telling me you were the protagonist in the last killing game

DIDN’T YOU HAVE LIKE, TWO AHOGES TOO

Man, what an asshole move??? Like, okay, Monokuma’s creating the puzzle of the safe which would unlock this video. Fine. But almost half of the class would have to be dead in order for him to get to it! There’s no way for him to even start the puzzle at this point, because he wouldn’t know it existed! What a huge handicap!

......... Something.... he had.... since the beginning............. Hm. I’m drawing a blank. I don’t remember anything in particular that stands out....

My dead boy, that is an understatement.

AHAHAHA ABOUT THAT....

Now this makes me wonder if he is the only one repeating it or if anyone else is? Well, maybe the mastermind - but like, maybe everyone is repeating it, but only those who ‘won’ were able to have better memories, or were just able to retain the memories of the last game better than the others?

Or, hell, if I want to go along with my previous theory about downloading the memories of students, maybe... Rantaro can remember more about his real self? Or something? But everyone else can’t?

And if he’s really someone who won the previous one (along with one other person, I suppose), then he knows that for a fact.

???!?! Aaaah this part got cut off last time too - so it was actually cut off in the video, and not just in our flashback?!

“You’re also dead, which may make things a little bit more difficult, but I still believe in you!”

That at least I expected -

WHAT

OH GOD THERE ARE SO MANY LAYERS TO THIS

like the dramatic irony I’m sure the fandom has done to death, for example

What about the second person??? Is there a second Ultimate Survivor???? I guess there can’t be since everyone else knows their talents but -

wait, if you’re the Ultimate Survivor because you won a killing game, who were you in the last game????

Does this really give him an advantage though??? I guess the information would have been nice but I mean, it obviously didn’t do him much good because he got taken out so quickly!

Man this makes me wonder if Kokichi had any inkling of this...

jsyk since I have the screenshots side to side, his expression is different in this video compared to the last one

~ fun facts ~

Yeah, see, the ‘he wanted’ part is throwing me off. He participated, sure, and he didn’t say he wanted the original one, but he came back for round two and said he wanted it.... but why???? That implies there’s a purpose to it, and he was okay to gamble his own life - but also, as a person without his memories of this, he wanted to stop the game. If the chip he bet is his own life, the reward must be huge, right? He won these supposed perks for this game, but what did he win for his life outside the game? .... Assuming there is anything outside the game? Is there anything for him outside the game?

HIMIKO DON’T BE RUDE

Yeah, she didn’t know the identity of her target. 8′\ Also I’d be sad if it was Kaede in the end. Second also! I know that she ended up being the first chapter killer and I’m one of the people got taken by surprise by that, but we were in her head for that whole chapter! Her motive made sense - but for her to end up being the mastermind now? That wouldn’t make sense, based on what we know of her, memory shenanigans aside!

That would require the mastermind to have knowledge of Shuichi and Kaede’s plan then, right? So they would have had to draw Rantaro to the library somehow, so he would get caught in Kaede’s trap...

It... should be one of a kind, considering the circumstances...

Yeah I’m still wracking my brain and not coming up with anything there. Could it have to do with his necklace? It did make me think of that ‘soldier tag’ present, about remembering someone who they lost. That would be an incredibly appropriate, if not cruel, ‘survivor’s perk’ present for someone who survived a killing game.

Man are we going to get a new flashback for every place we investigate???

OH SHIT IT’S BACK

FLASHBACK LIGHT!!!

you can pry the flashback light animation from my cold dead hands

?!?!?!

Immediate thoughts - generic students. But, are they? Is there any chance that they look generic on the face of it, but are actually representative of people in the class? I don’t see anything that could be an immediate match (Korekiyo = masked guy, Kokichi = small guy with similarly shaped hair/short stature/face, Kaito = tall guy, maybe), and they seem to have different VAs - hell, is that Jounouchi (or for the proper DR character, Munakata)’s seiyuu?

...... or the guy with the sick mask could just be sick lmao

Ah, so this is from when the virus began to ravage the population...

That seems like an understatement 8′D But at least we know for sure when in the timeline this takes place! Shuichi doesn’t seem to know they’re going to be the only survivors yet, but they’ve already been presumably screened for the Gopher Project which means it is well under way.

Calm down Sigma Klim -

Shuichi hasn’t told them he swings both ways, huh.

OH GOD RIGHT IN THE KAITO

DO YOU GET IT YET SHUICHI, YOU ARE THEIR HOPE

Don’t mind me, just wanted to make sure Shuichi didn’t miss the cryptic message left for him in these memories -

Not only that, but these aren’t memories meant to act as a reward for completing a stage like the other ones or even one they found - this was literally forced on them. It’s supposed to be Monokuma’s weapon against them. So... similar to the motive from the last trial, it’s trying to make them take action...?

And it’s clearly working!

... Maybe it isn’t the necklace then. I mean, he was wearing it when he died right??? And his body is gone...

Oh man unless just like everyone else there were copies of it along with the rest of it in his room - except there are 15, one for all the participants for the last game or something -

It might be 50/50 right now??? There’s something screwy going on, I just don’t know what.

#Shuichi Saihara #spoilers #drv3 spoilers #Himiko Yumeno #Rantaro Amami #K1-b0 #Kiibo #Keebo #Ryou plays drv3

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tearlessrain · 6 years ago

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so this turned into Scorpion King: Book of Souls Liveblog Part 1, because I got started late. witness a bunch of people trying to make one man’s considerable hotness singlehandedly carry an entire hour and a half long movie with very limited success under the cut.

I do want to state right up front that there’s only one reason I’m watching this and that reason is that for some reason zach mcgowan is the protagonist, so I’m not really up to date on the whole mummy/scorpion king franchise, the last one I saw was the one with all the jackal dudes and that was a while ago. so I have no idea what’s going on.

oh good they’re just going to town with the exposition, very thoughtful

so if the sword was forged in the fires of hell by anubis then who the heck did they fight when they were taking on the jackal headed dudes because I kinda assumed

are these two series actually related or

holy shit this is so Extra already look at this shit

y’all this is my jam I am living right now

also as people following my art blog may note, I am a huge fan of black and gold aesthetics. this movie is really just ticking off all my boxes right off the bat, it’s terrible, but five stars.

they’re REALLY going to town with the exposition

sword forged in the fires of hell that condemns souls to “the neverending darkness” and must be somehow destroyed... are we talking about anubis or sauron here.

this is just lord of the rings, but bad and with a sword. lord of the sword.

okay prologue is over and some dudes have smashed their way into a tomb. if the last however many mummy movies have taught me anything it’s that this might potentially be a bad idea

I love how they’re just not even setting up any of the characters we’re just diving right in I’m getting strong “yeah you all know the drill by now” vibes here

#squadgoals

really though the gal on the left is pretty badass, she hasn’t done or said a single thing but I respect her and her bootleg Xena vibe

and like shoutout for putting at least one actual black guy in egypt I guess

so I guess the one in the middle is... psychic or something? not that “hey if you plunder this blatantly cursed tomb it might be bad” requires psychic powers to know but

I mean that giant black sarcophagus they found recently in real life turned out fine I’m sure this will be great go nuts dude

uh oh it’s the fang of sauron anubis

oh that doesn’t seem good, but it’s actually the better option since for a second there I thought there were pulling a “black guy dies first” in ancient goddamn egypt

wait we’re still doing exposition okay the narrator is back. hi narrator I missed you.

look I know it’s campy and all but can we take a sec to unironically appreciate how wicked COOL this guy looks with his glowing eyes and crap. this movie is just so satisfying to look at, every single shot has been peak aesthetic

“SEND THE BIRD” and then it’s actually just a regular bird that was anticlimactic

HOLY GREENSCREEN BATMAN

holy FUCK WE’RE ONLY JUST NOW AT THE TITLE SEQUENCE WHAT

okay I guess now we’re going to ACTUALLY start the movie, third time’s a charm

and we’re off to a fantastic start my friends

and judging by the choices of the cameraman in this scene I can tell they’re trying desperately to distract me from the fact that the dialogue sounds like it was generated by a neural network that was fed several dozen mediocre fantasy novels.

it’s working.

I am being personally attacked. god.

oh no some people on horses are coming I assume from the background music that this is a bad thing

OH it’s bootleg Xena and her merry band of deeply mediocre extras okay

I understand the adorable small child’s father must die but must it be at the hands of the worst mediocre extra. seriously he’s been on screen for five seconds and I already hate him.

I guess the protagonist’s name is Matthias, other writers might have let us know that when he was introduced, but these guys know damn well that it literally does not matter what his name is. they could have had her ride up and be like “we’re looking for a man named Jebediah Switchboard McDougal” and anyone who’s voluntarily watching this movie in the first place would just be like “that’s fair”

yeah just in case you weren’t sold after the blacksmithing or the hunting scenes, let’s have him just singlehandedly take down half a dozen ninjas in less than a minute. just fuck me up

oh shit they shot him

oh shit they shot him again

they’re just boromir-ing the hell out of this dude

and yet he’s still going to town on those ninjas

NO NOT THE ADORABLE CHILD WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

I’ve decided I don’t like bootleg Xena after all

it’s a good thing he’s got three arrows embedded in his torso because that is the worst cage ever. it’s made of like. bamboo and string. have you seen this man’s arms how did they expect that to effectively contain him.

whoa it’s... BOOTLEG XENA 2.0: GOOD GUY EDITION

or not. she didn’t free him or anything she just killed his original captors and then took off with the cage with him in it

no I think she is good she’s... healing him? by... getting scorpions to sting the hell out of him? has the FDA approved this.

I’m sorry I can’t take this scene seriously the background music is way too close to the “ooga chakas” from hooked on a feeling. also the sheer degree to which they’re pulling a reverse male gaze here is kinda overshooting sexy straight into unintentionally funny. I mean I know this is the entire reason I’m watching this insanity but like even I think this is excessive.

“the scorpion king escaped” that is giving him way too much credit he was stolen by the superior bootleg Xena.

and in case NONE of the previous things drew your attention away from the lack of a plot, here’s just straight up nudity because why not.

I thought I had a thing for zach mcgowan but I’ve got nothing on this cameraman.

also there’s some kind of “reluctant chosen one king” thing going on I guess but like they literally couldn’t have put less effort into it

I haven’t heard people this concerned about what the moon is doing since I left evergreen state college

aaand apparently he can see and speak to... ghosts now? ghosts that spit thousands of arrows from the sky? know what why not I’ll accept literally anything at this point.

oh they aren’t ghosts they’re just really sneaky dudes

it’s a shame jebediah switchboard’s one and only weakness is extremely shitty cages because he sure ends up in them a lot

hmmmm we’re getting some uncomfortable racist undertones and misogyny in one go okay. not worse than I would expect from a movie of this.... caliber, but I’m not thrilled, especially since this whole situation has yet to have a single actual point to it.

actually okay it’s veered quickly away from “rudyard kipling-esque Vague Native Tribe Encounter” and into... some kind of weird mad max thing mixed with a D&D campaign that’s gone wildly off the rails. but they’re on thin fucking ice.

I really appreciate that matthias is approaching this situation with exactly the same strategy with which I play skyrim, which is “sneak up on everybody one at a time even though there are a ton of them and that shouldn’t be possible, shoot them all with a bow you looted off one of them”

and now they’re just... suddenly free and back on their horses, then matthias had a vague fake deep exchange with the leader and they rode away. there literally was no reason for that entire interlude. nothing happened, there wasn’t character development or anything. this godforsaken movie could have been ten minutes shorter.

“the plot is down there, just past that greenscreen” is what I heard there.

I’m sorry I’m dying for some reason all I’m getting from this visual is “wait are you saying the panel is all the way on the other side of the convention center” like the costumes are just mediocre enough that in bright light they don’t look like they’re actually actors in a movie.

the moon’s rising. but I can’t for the life of me remember why that’s important. she’s got some kinda egyptian steampunk millennium rod though.

okay the lenses must align with the cipher. did anyone mention a cipher before who knows.

good job matthias you solved the moon puzzle and your prize is a metric ton of blue jello.

all right through the jello portal they go. to find the book of souls, probably.

in this case I actually do need more exposition. are we just not gonna explain ancient egyptian jello narnia. no. okay.

stop forcing zach mcgowan to be quippy I know all the cool movies are doing it but this is neither the time nor the place nor the actor for it.

oh my god they’re being attacked by a rock golem thing and I don’t think a screenshot can fully capture how bad the cgi is. not of the rock monster itself, but trying to integrate it with the real actors and set pieces was... oof.

okay a mostly naked woman has risen out of some nearby water and called off the rock golem with no explanation. why not.

neither of them looks into this so much as confused as hell

honestly, same.

oh god no they’re trying to make the rock golem be the comic relief this movie never needed. please don’t. you can barely handle writing the plot relevant dialogue now’s not the time to get fancy. I take it back, trying to make zach mcgowan be quippy was actually somehow not the worst option.

she IS the book of souls!

okay that’s a pretty cool visual I’ll give them that. digging the iridescent moon tattoo.

and that seems like a reasonable stopping point because I started this kind of late and have to get up for class in the morning. tune in tomorrow for, I assume, more of zach mcgowan running around in various states of undress while absolutely nothing coherent happens around him.

#tearless liveblogs #to be completely honest I'm not even sure what it is about this guy #like as you are all painfully aware I tend to lean way more toward androgyny but like #apparently I'll also take 'the concept of a panther but applied to a human being'#seriously though he cannot do the quippy marvel thing just accept that and don't try to force it

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cafephan · 8 years ago

Text

dan and phil play my horse prince #3: a summary

two seconds in and already a questionable horse impression okay time to strap in for another weird one

"i knew you were going to start clopping"

clopping??? klopping???? clopping looks better so i'm going with that

"cloppity clop when will we stop.... is the question many of you have been asking" aw they saw my tweets

dan licked his lips as he looked over to phil SAME

he is wearing the ladybird jumper so i agree

remember the ladybird jumper selfie??? let's take a moment

okay back to the video

it was a nice moment of remembrance though right

anyway

"i like a good divisive series"

"this is our great youtube controversy, phil"

those people that are uncomfortable, it's legit the same level of sexual tension dnp have on a regular basis just in the form of a girl and horse like,,, it's 2017 the hat/cherry/lung/milk/kitten/whatever else fic exists there are more disturbing things out there

they're validating those of you though, good for you i'm happy for your notices

"it's not literal bestiality" // "it's just a lol" "a nice little lol... just a casual lol"

"i think we should do this one and see how we feel" i mean finally putting that positions book to good use

there's not much eye contact so far are they okay

i think recently we've been spoilt with eye contact and now we're feeling like something's wrong because they're not gawking at each other

"so whether you want to or not, strap yourselves in for ten minutes of erotic equine roleplay"

phil demonstrating that sweet sweet hand porn

"i don't think we should've encouraged you with the fanart" story of your life innit lads

congrats to those phanartists that got noticed!! you're very talented and i appreciate you!!!

i appreciate the last one which highlights the shaved sides i liked that a lot ty

"the less we talk about that the better" legit the phandom about 2012

dan's reaction to the fanart,,, get those screenshots

"keep it coming.... or don't, it's up to you" phil pls you're making it too easy for me

"do you need to do that though?" // "i do, it's a thing now" living for the little domestic i feel deprived

"dog. dog has a moustache."

"phil that makes no sense" as if u never make any mistakes howell phil's waiting to call you out like the absolute savage that he is

remember the thomas the tank engine fuck-up, phil was right on that

phil's laugh my ears are blessed

they have two very different reactions to a horse making breakfast

i found another of dan's kinks who's keeping tabs on them all we've got another to add to the list

"what's a good... lad? one that makes breakfast, the morning after" is that a subtle wink wink nudge nudge, daniel

"i'm hyped. this, this is, this is a soap." dan is so excited he's tripping on his words

he's staring at phil okay world order has been restored

"you know you love it, stop lying to yourself" // "you love it. just thumbs it up anyway, if you don't like it"

i love the detailed hair angles we get when they both look down on the screen i appreciate it a lot

do you think phil will ever ditch the straighteners

"that's really posh" phil the savage already getting his revenge

congrats hp stans for phil dropping that reference

did they just compare all of our mums to a horse

"anyone that exudes glitter and makes sure that you're resting on the weekend... that's who you need in your life"

"maybe susankun's on the crunchy nut like us" i bet you both are

maybe see a doctor about that

i'm not sorry

"am i the dog? i think i'm the dog" phil says after barking and effectively claiming the role of the dog

"you just frickin volunteered" dan the savage

"that was some good borks" so any excuse to compliment phil huh

"what is this video" me every time i read these summaries before posting them, i relate phil

"some good pottery"

"unless this is a magnetic knife, how is the horse holding it? with that horse thumb he's just gonna grow?"

dan demonstrates the claw technique

look at that hand movement fluidity this ain't his first rodeo

dan... are u ok.... you've just been in this position for four seconds...

turned into seven seconds, the longest seven seconds of my life.... is it one of the new 7sc they tweeted out for

“can i stroke him?” // “i’ll give him a stroke”

lanky emo lads fawn over hairbrush functions

that sounded like a weird porn didn’t it oh god no

“look at this roleplay, we nintendogs now”

“oh yeah, feel my brush”

dan gives that side-eye, he doesn’t like phil saying that to anyone else

the singing quota for this video has been filled

thought they were going to give us a sweet harmony for don’t speak and do no doubt proud but nope dan decides to parody it

this is not the harmony i wanted stop singing a weird cult theme or whatever the fuck it is

leek or spring onion will we ever know

phil is intent on killing simulations recently is he ok

“sorry guys” dan is on hand to comfort us

may need to rethink some comfort fic prompts i have

“is it okay? is anything about this okay?” if the existential crisis branding was still relevant he’d be on the floor rn

“shall we have a chat? a little horsey chinwag?” yes phil come back to your northern roots i’ve missed you

“a really long-faced chinwag” you tried dan but you will always be a southerner you can’t pull off chinwag

“is a carrot a fruit?” mister university asking the real question

is dan actually googling it

“AHA it was to catch us out for being an idiot!” i mean, you googled it so.... aren’t you still an idiot

phil is an orange kinda guy, dan is a grapefruit kinda guy...... explains a lot if you think about it

“he hates me again!” // “i can’t believe he hates me again, straight away...” pretty sure i’ve read that exact line of dialogue in a fic before

“what can i say? i’m more in tune with my inner.... horse... man”

casual head scratch as he silently prays for nobody to pick up on that quote

“deep fry anything, and that’s a winner”

“the choices hurt me so bad”

trying to justify this game just falls flat

no amount of meaningful speeches are rectifying it dan

but it’s not stopping him trying

oh he’s stopped now

“i think we should get our things back”

“this is our life” enjoy u demons

“great. i love my life” phil i just don’t even know what to say stop looking like you’re showing a lemon a good time

take out the lemon and stare at your wavy haired companion

if i used that line in a fic would you disown me

what kind of accent did dan just try to say field in because he sounded like me

“a horse can’t go on rollercoasters is what i’m thinking” // “can a horse go to the cinema?” “no, he’s going to get in the way of everyone’s screen” wow dan and phil, damperers of horse dreams since their corresponding years of birth

“yes, dan’s credit card is about to spend more money on this horse app” of course it’s dan that volunteers his card, phil would never

he’s the voice of emo goose he only spends money on luxury apps

mister moneybags high brands stan has no problem forking it out tho good for you son get some

“i am this entire developer’s number one supporter” me when dapg was announced

the frenzy time music is something special

“phil you’re doing the impossible quiz again and that is like ten out of ten banned” younger kirsten is crying

phil’s real laugh comes out to play again welcome back old friend i love you

“is she falling in love with the dog? is that what we’re asking?”

phil’s voice is like monotone throughout all of these videos he couldn’t give less of a shit

he’s just humouring dan’s kink(s)

dan stop criticising phil’s horse voice you can’t have it all for yourself all of the time we need as much of it as you do

“i am ready for this” me whenever they upload on a day that’s not the same day i’m posting a fic

there are very different theories about the multitude of onions

again phil’s includes death

i’m beginning to expect it

“oh he’s gone a bit sassy”

“passive aggressive.... okay” dan we feel the same way when we found out phil’s sent a dm

“i feel it coming.... i feel it coming... are you ready? am i ready?”

“that’s just dreamy. i’m in love with that” // “that is dreamy. i’d like that as a poster in my bathroom”

“that is the thickest spring onion i have ever seen in my entire life” // “it’d take a lot of gnashing” phil demonstrates said gnashing thank you for showing those teggies

“look at the girth on that one” you know what you did dan don’t blame us when the fics come rolling in

the onion fic

“how do you not love this? people, i mean come on, this is better than the current season of the walking dead”

uncomfortable fidgeting as dan realises he’s pissed off hundreds of thousands of people

staring at phil again yes i’m living

“this is better than the wire” phil doesn’t want to leave dan all alone in the opinion firing line

“it’s turning into that cake outtake from tatinof” HOW DARE YOU.

feeling less guilty having watched it now u fuckers

“it’s literally the cake situation”

seriously i’m going to watch it again just to spite you both

“imagine a horse pushing you against a wall and force-feeding you spring onions” dan i love you but i’m going to have to reject this prompt

the game turns sinister and they both look the most excited they’ve looked for the entire video

“this is fulfilling every kink that our audience might have” in which dan tries to push his weird kinks onto us out of fear phil will judge him

“is the next one set in the afterlife?”

“i feel like i went to a place i didn’t think i was going to”

“so real talk, let’s get real” phil i like that you’re trying to get close to the camera but you’re still too far away it’s not doing what you think it’s doing

“if you don’t want us to do this ever again...” “what’s wrong with you” honestly dan same

they’re literally encouraging thumbs down??? how long have they been in the youtube game???

“tell us your opinions down there” oh dear god they’re encouraging the fanfiction

“if you want the horse, we want to give you the horse. you know what we’re saying?”

it’s hard to quote when they’re both talking at the same time BE POLITE AND LET EACH OTHER SPEAK

“this is a two way relationship...” why did phil’s smile grow when dan said that

“slice our subscribe button like a spring onion” // “please don’t stab your laptop and/or mobile device” // “trot over to our other channels”

danisnotchoking (but he wants to be)

AmazingSpringOnion

#I'M SORRY THIS IS SO LATE #i was watching ant and dec and my parents and i were waiting for our takeaway #it took an hour longer than it should've #so i only had time to finish this now #but this was fuuuuuuuuuun

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armsinthewronghands · 8 years ago

Text

Complete Text of the ‘Destroy’ Post

Screenshot of this is often trotted out as “evidence” I have a secret harassment group.

..also note anyone named in the comments should be able to confirm to the public the transcripts match the private post and anyone can ask to be added to the circles and read the originals.

Zak Sabbath Shared privately Aug 10, 2014  Destroy. Gender-inclusive language in D&D 5e raises roleplaying questions Gender-inclusive language in D&D 5e raises roleplaying questions metafilter.com 5 plus ones 5 38 comments 38 no shares Shared privately•View activity Hide 32 comments Onno Tasler's profile photo Onno Tasler +2 If that "evil consultant" campaign is going on much longer I'll buy a version of D&D 5 just to spite those responsible. Aug 10, 2014 Zak Sabbath's profile photo Zak Sabbath +12 Buy Red & Pleasant Land--it'll be out soon, and I get a cut. Aug 10, 2014 Kasimir Urbanski's profile photo Kasimir Urbanski +2 You may want to consider Arrows of Indra, it's a great old-school game set in a carefully-researched interpretation of the Epic India of the Mahabharata. It's also transgender-inclusive. Hide this comment Aug 10, 2014 Kasimir Urbanski's profile photo Kasimir Urbanski +5 Yes you can! There are Vimana in the magic items section. One thing to note is that there are different ages, with vast periods of time between them, in the Mythic India chronology. The Mahabharata is taking place in the last part of the Epic age, you could say. As time goes by, the gods end up being less and less direct in their actions in the world, and magic becomes more and more rare.

In the time of the Avatara Shiva, there were entire flying cities ruled by demon lords. Supernatural beings were everywhere and humans were largely subject to their whims; magic was almost ubiquitous. In the time of the Avatara Rama, much later, there were still some demon kingdoms but no more flying cities (Shiva shot them all to hell, sometimes literally), but Epic Superweapons and flying chariots were still what you could call semi-rare at least. Some humans might live out their lives without encountering a supernatural being, if they lived in the core areas of the human kingdoms; magic was still very common but not on the same grandiose scale. The "present" of the Arrows of Indra setting is even far later than that, when the Avatara Krishna is just starting out, and it's mortal heroes more than immortal gods and monsters that are the chief movers and shakers of the world. Kingdoms, good, bad, corrupt, noble and everything in between are ruled mainly by men. Kingdoms of monsters and demons and monkey-people and gold-skinned dwarves still exist only in very remote borderlands (that really only adventurers would be likely to get to). Magic was used by wizards and holy men but only the very greatest heroes could hope (after a long career, great deeds, and shitloads of XP) to obtain a truly epic Celestial Weapon or gain some amazing artifact.

So yeah, the setting has vimana, but you have to work for it.

That's why I chose this era, besides the fact that you have the ruins of the earlier eras scattered around in the wilderlands of the setting, it's also this era that most suits the whole zero-to-hero path of the D&D system. Hide this comment Aug 10, 2014 A. Miles Davis's profile photo A. Miles Davis +2 "Until they show a connection to FATAL or Racial Holy War it's not the darkest parts of the RPG community." posted by squinty at 11:48 PM on August 9

and so on. This seems like a pretty reasonable group of people responding reasonably. They sniff out bullshit, request evidence, and the entire tone is without excess bile. Aug 10, 2014 Richard G's profile photo Richard G "and then you dig a bit and it's vapour"

The fundamental problem here as I see it is that many commenters seem to have free-floating opinion receptors, ready to grab onto any opinion that floats by and repeat it, regardless of any actual information that also floats by.

The information is less digestible. You have to read and understand it. The opinions, OTOH, are made of nothing but hooks. Aug 10, 2014 Ramanan S's profile photo Ramanan S +2 I flagged it. It's a stupid post for MetaFilter. People in the comments seem to be pointing out as much. You could try and email the mods yourself, since it effects you. I posted some links as well, but it seems like other people have done that already. Aug 10, 2014 Ramanan S's profile photo Ramanan S And yeah, in general I think MetaFilter is less likely to fall for straight up horse shit. Aug 10, 2014 Greg Backus's profile photo Greg Backus I can work on this one too cuz them's my digs Aug 10, 2014 Wayne Rossi's profile photo Wayne Rossi I did several D&D posts on Metafilter and am already in that thread. It's a community I've been a part of for a decade. At most 1 person seems to be buying the Fail Forward bs on the comments. Aug 10, 2014 Ramanan S's profile photo Ramanan S Weird there are so many MeFi users here. (I am chunking express.) Aug 10, 2014 Greg Backus's profile photo Greg Backus <- Golem XIV Aug 10, 2014 A. Miles Davis's profile photo A. Miles Davis man, this is an entertaining read the more it goes on. Aug 10, 2014 Zak Sabbath's profile photo Zak Sabbath +1 it doesn't entertain me. Someone should link to this: https://www.seebs.net/log/articles/791/ it's a new article by Seebs explaining EXACTLY where all this bs originated Aug 10, 2014 A. Miles Davis's profile photo A. Miles Davis i mean only this specific thread you've linked above because it's like 80% people being responsible and asking for proof and facts instead of opinions. Aug 10, 2014 Zak Sabbath's profile photo Zak Sabbath yeahNo, Not entertained. Not at all. Don't see why people are even spending a second putting up with the bullshit claims there. Aug 10, 2014 Anthony Holtberg's profile photo Anthony Holtberg Hm. All I see is a person who is vocal being bullied on the basis that some people don't like him and don't think anyone else should.

Dragging it into the professional arena is where this all goes awry. I'm terribly sorry this had to happen, +Zak Smith, especially at a time when things are hard enough.

I've had much the same done to me, and I do sympathize. People who work to do things a different way that makes them happy make others uncomfortable. 'Burn the heretic' and all that.

Again, I'm just sorry this sort of thing goes on. Aug 10, 2014 Zak Sabbath's profile photo Zak Sabbath The shit being posted now is PURE didn't read the links . I didn't call out the James De people because they said he said "rape is awesome" I called them out because they said he threatened to rap ehis critics that's in links posted right there. And someone ask Shawn struck why I;m not in jail Aug 10, 2014 A. Miles Davis's profile photo A. Miles Davis yeah it's gotten totally bullshit as the day has gone on. Aug 10, 2014 Zak Sabbath's profile photo Zak Sabbath OH MY GOD IT'S STILl GOING ON. And Vecna is posting a bunch of debunked stuff. Aug 11, 2014 Wayne Rossi's profile photo Wayne Rossi +Zak Smith Metafilter threads stay open for a month and generally taper off after a day or two. Not sure what the deal is with this Vecna (not a real Metafilter user) or the "Dongion". Aug 11, 2014 Ramanan S's profile photo Ramanan S Yeah they joined yesterday, so probably someone emotionally invested enough in calling you a terrible person to spend $5 on the endeavour. Aug 11, 2014 Kasimir Urbanski This comment is hidden because you've blocked the commenter. View the comment Aug 11, 2014 A. Miles Davis's profile photo A. Miles Davis jesus fuck that guy has a hateboner the size of Albany at this point. Aug 11, 2014 Ramanan S's profile photo Ramanan S If it makes you feel any better people seem to be realizing this is mostly just axe grinding drama. Though the post is still up. I guess it didn't get enough flags. I still think you should email the mods. Aug 11, 2014 Zak Sabbath's profile photo Zak Sabbath +Ramanan S Me? Aren't I like the very last person they'd listen to? If not, d;you have the email address? Aug 11, 2014 Ramanan S's profile photo Ramanan S +Zak Smith They might listen if you don't call them morons! I know you can do it if you try. I think it's worth a shot. I mean, the thread itself has links debunking that particular article.

You can use the contact form here: https://www.metafilter.com/contact/

(FYI: If it's deleted it'll still exist as a thread, but it wont't be indexed by google anymore and it's not linked from the site anymore. Like so: https://www.metafilter.com/88123/Get-motivated-by-every-movie) Aug 11, 2014 Zak Sabbath's profile photo Zak Sabbath last time i called someone a moron for RTing that it worked. However--invective-free email sent. Aug 11, 2014 Ramanan S's profile photo Ramanan S God speed! Aug 11, 2014 Zak Sabbath's profile photo Zak Sabbath in reverse order:

Oh, the whole thread? No, that's not something we're going to do, sorry.

On Mon, Aug 11, 2014 at 2:32 PM, zak smith I'm sorry, a member told me different.

(And people have already posted that link, which I can only assume you didn't read because it's long.)

The member said:

" FYI: If it's deleted it'll still exist as a thread, but it wont't be indexed by google anymore and it's not linked from the site anymore. Like so: https://www.metafilter.com/88123/Get-motivated-by-every-movie) " I don't know your policy. all I know is right now you're hosting something that is….

…well if I was running a site I'd be troubled by hosting it.

If you check the link I sent you might get a glimpse of the scale of how messed up it is and on how many counts. But I'm not the boss of you.

-zak

Date: Mon, 11 Aug 2014 14:28:40 -0700 Subject: Re: [MeFi Contact] The D&D Gender article

Hey there, you're welcome to make an account and link that post in the thread for discussion - we don't change or delete links after the fact (the discussion is about the link, so removing the link just confuses everyone.)

On Mon, Aug 11, 2014 at 2:24 PM,

Hi, this is Zak S. A member suggested I contact you about this article: http://www.metafilter.com/141806/Gender-inclusive-language-in-DandD-5e-raises-roleplaying-questions Basically, the first link there is a libelous unsourced hatchet job by a bunch of Something Awful trolls with a grudge. It's been so thoroughly debunked that even the people defending it at the bottom of the page have moved the goalposts from "Zak is a transphobic gatekeeper" to "Zak has fights with people online and that's unprofessional".

This has links to EXTENSIVE documentation of all the mistakes and inaccuracies in the article: http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.com/2014/08/how-dungeons-and-dragons-is-totally-not.html

I suggest you take it down.

-Zak Aug 11, 2014 Ramanan S's profile photo Ramanan S Ah that sucks. At least you have more examples of random peoples calling this out as dumb, but I guess that doesn't actually make you feel better. Aug 11, 2014 Ramanan S's profile photo Ramanan S HELLO VECNA!

https://www.metafilter.com/141806/Gender-inclusive-language-in-DandD-5e-raises-roleplaying-questions#5679845 Aug 11, 2014 Zak Sabbath's profile photo Zak Sabbath Jay Vee is likely Vecna. Aug 11, 2014 A. Miles Davis's profile photo A. Miles Davis Jay Vee is definitely Vecna.

he just posted those same pictures at me. Aug 11, 2014 Zak Sabbath's profile photo Zak Sabbath +1 i'm really glad whoever is spying on me and taking these snapshots did it--since it proves my innocence Aug 11, 2014 Ramanan S's profile photo Ramanan S Yeah, just searching for those links only turns up posts from him. Aug 11, 2014 A. Miles Davis's profile photo A. Miles Davis and he just tagged me into some bullshit elsewhere trying to quote me out of context within this thread.

reported, blocked. Aug 11, 2014 A. Miles Davis's profile photo A. Miles Davis oh, and it's https://plus.google.com/u/0/114989648662861338239/posts/5cqVsfEhwTn

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