#sorry to get so deep on main but it's weighing on me heavy
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hypaalicious ¡ 11 months ago
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NGL y'all, it's been rough.
On the surface, I guess you could say I'm doing alright. I have a roof over my head, adequate food to eat (most of the time), good friends and family to rely on... But when I say this world has beaten me down to pieces, it definitely has.
COVID was the first chink in the armor. Watching the entire world basically shrug off mass death and try to blithely live like it's still 2019 despite a pandemic raging worse than ever with less protections than we had before is wild. Don't matter how much facts you have to show to people, they will ignore it and then also in the same breath wonder why everyone's sick all the time. I mourn the children who aren't protected, who are sent into schools with no masks to become disabled/chronically ill for the rest of their lives. I mourn the immunocompromised who are trapped indefinitely in their homes because the world has moved on from pretending to care about COVID. It's been 4 years. Time doesn't even feel real. Then October 7th happened, and I get to watch a genocide happen in occupied Palestine in real time. Now, if you don't know me, then you may not know that I generally avoid rated R live action movies because I am a wuss and can't take the explicit violence and gore in a lot of them. I went from that, to watching lives of Palestinians recording their loved ones blown up, carrying their remains in plastic bags, IDF psychos shooting women and children in the back, the despair and anguish of Palestinians being corralled, starved, poisoned just because they exist. I have irrevocably been changed by bearing witness to this horror. Writing my script for my game has slowed down to a crawl. I close my eyes at night to sleep, and dream about the devastation I witnessed. I wake up and see even worse horrors, all unchecked by world powers. I get on Facebook and see people carrying on with life as if nothing is happening at all. I don't... I feel like I'm looking at society from the opposite side of a glass window. Everything has lost its color. How can I care about movies, video games, traveling, etc when it all just serves as a distraction to the ugly reality that cannot be ignored? I don't care about celebs and their drama. I don't care about the regurgitated mess Hollywood puts out. I don't care about what overpriced AAA game is highly anticipated. I do not care at all. The climate is fucked up and I see venture capitalists literally selling pieces of iceburgs to rich folks in the UAE for cocktails like it's nothing. People wanna talk about what new restaurant opened up and all I can think of is the fact that a singular bell pepper is like $2. A musical artist announces a tour and all I see are more superspreader events where people won't mask then bring home viruses to their families. Is this the future we want? Hell, will we HAVE a future? We, collectively, will rue the day we sat around and did nothing to stop all of this. And I fear that day will come very soon.
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stylesluxx ¡ 27 days ago
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stable – a.hotchner
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[warnings: hotch in the hospital, anxious reader]
summary: in which y/n visits hotch in the hospital
word count: 888
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The drive to the hospital was suffocating. No matter how many windows you rolled down, it wasn't nearly enough air. Your hands were gripping the steering wheel tightly, trying to focus on the fact that he was safe and alive.
Emily's voice echoed in your ears. "Stable," is all that you can hear. It was the last thing you heard before you hung up on your friend and raced out of the office.
The word was fragile, as if it could break any moment but it gave you hope. But the thought of what happened to your fiance, Aaron, weighed on you. It brought your heart down to your ankles.
When you get to the hospital, you don't remember parking, how, or where. You rushed through the sterile halls, the beeping of the monitors and the smell of antiseptic making your skin crawl. You couldn't believe you wanted to be a nurse. Because at this moment you couldn't stand hospitals. The idea of Aaron being hurt—of him lying somewhere behind one of those doors—is unbearable.
As you reach the nurse's station, your breath is short as you try to remain calm. "Aaron Hotchner. Where is he?"
The nurse glances up, her face softening as she senses your panic. "He's in Room 407. He's stable and awake now," she says reassuringly, hoping to calm you down.
Stable.
You nod and make your way to his room, your heart pounding. Your steps quicken as you approach the door. For a moment, you hesitate. You've been trying to hold yourself together since Emily's call, but now reality is starting to hit you in a way you weren't prepared for.
You take a deep breath and push the door open.
And there he is—sitting up in the hospital bed, pale but very much alive. His eyes find yours the moment you step inside, and the tightness in your chest eases just a little. He's okay and he's right there.
You rush to his side, ignoring everyone else in the room. Your hands are shaking as you reach out for him.
"Aaron..."
He looks at you, his dark eyes soft, but you can see the exhaustion in them, the pain he's trying to hide.
"Hey," he says, his voice low, rougher than usual. "I'm okay."
You take his hand gently, brushing your thumb over his knuckles as if reassuring yourself that he's here.
"Em... Emily said it was Foyet?" You whisper, your voice catching in your throat. "He stabbed you."
Aaron nods, his jaw tightening at the mention of George Foyet.
"Yeah. But I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."
You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding, but the weight of the fear remains. You sit down next to his bed, never letting go of his hand.
"I was so scared," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper.
His thumb moves softly against your hand, a gesture of comfort even in his weakened state.
"I'm sorry," he murmurs. "I didn't want you to worry."
"You can't not expect me to worry, Aaron. Not when something like this happens."
He doesn't argue. His eyes soften as he looks at you, the unspoken emotions heavy between you two. You can see it—the guilt he's carrying. The sense that, somehow he let you down by getting hurt, even though that's the last thing you should be feeling.
You glance at the bandage peeking out from under his hospital gown, your stomach twisting at the sight.
"What did the doctors say?"
"They said I'll recover. It'll take some time, but I'll be fine," he says quietly.
You close your eyes for a second, letting more relief wash over you. He's going to be okay. He's here and alive you remind yourself. That's what matters. But the thought of how close you came to losing him makes your chest ache.
"I wish I had been there. I should've been there but I was working late," you quickly let out, unable to hide the tremor in your voice.
Aaron shakes his head, gently squeezing your hand.
"No, this is not something you want to be a part of. You shouldn't have to see any of this."
He's trying to protect you like he always does but it doesn't make the fear go away.
"I know you don't want me to worry, Aaron, but I can't just switch it off. I worry about you. I love you. You can't ask me to not feel any way when stuff like this happens."
"I know," he says just above a whisper. "I know. I just hate that you have to be scared because of me."
Tears sting the back of your eyes but you blink them away, not wanting to break down in front of him.
"It's because I love you. And because I am terrified that I will lose you one day," you say softly.
For a moment, the room is silent, besides the bums and beeps of the machines around you.
Aaron looks at you as if trying to memorize your face as if he'll never see you again.
"I'm not going anywhere," he promises with a steady voice.
You nod, squeezing his hand tighter, holding onto him like he's the most important thing in the world. Because to you, he is.
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[AN: i usually have something to say but today I don’t ☝🏾 here's my taglist]
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ediewentmissing ¡ 2 years ago
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angst and comfort :(
You jolt up from Eddie’s bed in a cold sweat. You feel gross. Your hands are clammy and your face is wet with tears. As you drift into proper consciousness, visions from your nightmare flicker through your mind; Eddie slowly levitating up and into the air while you’re frantically searching for his favourite mixtape, bawling your eyes out as his bones snap one by one and his body topples in a heap on the hardwood floor.
You start to crying again, sniffling and hiccuping. You go to recite music in your mind, lyrics one by one. Music is your main coping strategy, so this time when it can’t calm you down, you go to your only other source - your best source - of happiness: Eddie. 
The problem was that Eddie just came home from a nine hour shift at the automotive, and he was exhausted. He went to bed almost immediately, throwing himself onto the sofa and drifting goff within minutes.
You didn’t want to wake him up.
You sobbed in bed for a while longer, slowly weighing the pros and cons of interrupting his well-deserved sleep.
Eventually, you told yourself, Fuck it, and got out of the blankets.
The springs groaned underneath you as you got up. It was only then that you realised how torn up you really were. The night air hit your body and you could feel the grogginess floating away, being replaced by sheer cold. You nervously shuffled your way to the living room, shivering a bit.
Eddie’s body lay peacefully on the sofa, sloppily covered by the worn-out blanket on top of him that you offered him before he retired for the night.
You stood nearby, watching his chest rise and fall and listening to his slightly heavy breathing. Although gazing at him was pleasantly calming at first, it soon brought back vivid flashes of the nightmare; screaming, shaking Eddie vigorously, trying desperately to get him to wake up, his empty eye sockets and bleeding face staring back at you. The thoughts make you choke down a sob and Eddie stirs.
“E-Eddie?” You hesitate, but finally being yourself to speak up. He stirs again. “Eddie?”
He hums in response, not recognising the anxiousness in your voice because he’s still half-asleep. You walk up to him, trembling from the cold and from fear and tap his head lightly. You sniffle and he opens his eyes to find you looking terrified. He blinks a couple times to get himself to awaken completely.
He sits up and beings you in for a hug, as you shed tears against his shirt, “Hey, hey, hey. Sh. It’s okay. ‘M here. I’ve gotcha, sweetheart.”
You sit down with him and bury your head deep in his chest, wanting to be held and wanting to feel his heart beat to confirm that he was well and truly alive.
He holds your head and runs his calloused fingers through your hair, scratching your scalp lightly with one hand and holding your lower back with the other. His body is warm. It’s like hugging a teddy bear. It feels perfect against your icy flesh.
He waits until you’ve settled down, your breathing was still hitching regularly, but the sobbing had stopped. He pulls you away from his chest so he can see your face, dotting kisses on your forehead and rubbing your arm.
“What happened?”
“Nightmare…” You pause, “again.” He pulls you in again and rests his chin on your head.
“S-Sorry.” You splutter, guilt suddenly striking you.
“No, no. Don’t be. Not your fault in the slightest.” His voice vibrates against you soothingly.
“Uh,” You look down, separating yourself from him, “Could you come and sleep with me in the bed?” And his big, comforting smile told you everything you needed to know.
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criticallyinneedofadar ¡ 2 months ago
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A Life Lost in Time
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A/N: I'm so sorry in advance. This is a sad one. I just can't get over the 'he promised me children' bit.
Pairing: Adar x Reader
Warnings: Main character death, childloss, infertility,
*This could be read in connection to Beyond Hope if you want a happy ending for this couple.
____________________________________________________________
Adar stood alone, cloaked in the deepening twilight, staring into the darkness of the rivers surrounding the elvish city. The winds carried a faint whisper, almost like a distant echo of voices long dead, warning him of what was to come. 
Eregion.
It’s fall was imminent, and he would be the one to see it burn- Sauron with it. Yet, even with the grim satisfaction of his enemies broken and his children safe, a heaviness hung in the air that he could not shake. He had fought for so long, carved his paths of pain through the centuries, yet the weight of a memory far more agonizing than any battle weighed on his mind. 
Aruvian. 
The name stirred within him like a half-remembered song. She had been the last one to use that name for him. Before he had become Adar. Before everything had changed. 
The present seemed to slip away as his thoughts drifted to a time when his heart had still known the light. 
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
You were sitting by the fire, staring into the flickering flames, pensive and deep in thought. You felt it before you heard his steps. The familiar presence within your fae, that of your husband Aruvian, approaching from behind. He sat beside you, his dark eyes filled with the same sorrow that had haunted you both for centuries. 
“I spoke to her again today,” you say quietly, your voice barely above a whisper, “The healer.” 
Aruvian’s hand gently found yours, his grip firm and warm “And?”
You turn your gaze to him, eyes brimming with tears. “There is nothing to be done meleth nin. She said it would take a miracle for us to bear a child,” 
A heavy silence filled the air. You had spent centuries trying to fill that silence- trying and failing to bring the life you both longed for into the world. 
You could feel Aruvian’s heart clench as he saw the weariness in your eyes, the shadow that had settled over you like a shadow. 
He knelt beside you, taking your hand in his. “We’ll find a way,” he said, though his voice lacked the conviction it once held. He had said those words too many times and both of you knew it. 
“We’ve tried everything,” you whispered, shaking your head. “There’s no hope left.”
Aruvian’s jaw tightened, but he forced a small smile. “There is always hope. I’ve heard talk of someone- a great sorcerer. They say he can do what no other can.” 
You looked at him, your eyes widening slightly. “A sorcerer? Aruvian you can’t mean-” 
“He is different,” he interrupted gently. “They say he can perform miracles. He can give us what we have always yearned for.”
You hesitate, glancing into the fire again. “What would he ask in return? Sorcerers… they never grant anything without asking something in return.” 
Aruvian’s hand tightened over yours, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “Let me worry about that. You’ve suffered enough, and I can’t bear to see you in pain any longer. Please, my love, trust me.” 
Your gaze softened and after a long moment, you nodded. “I trust you,” you whispered, resting your forehead against his. 
The journey had been long, taking you both to the edge of the world, to a place where the stars seemed to dim and the air grew colder with every step. The tower loomed before you like a jagged tooth against the darkened sky. As you stood before it, unease crept into your heart. 
Aruvian had been calm, resolute. He had always been your strength. He had always known what to do. 
When the sorcerer- Sauron, though at the time he did not reveal his name, appeared his presence was overwhelming. His eyes gleaned with ancient power and his red hair seemed to emit it’s own light. You felt small under his gaze, but Aruvian stood firm. 
“My wife and I seek your aid,” he said, his voice steady. “We desire a child. We have tried everything but none have succeeded.” 
Sauron’s eyes flickered toward you, lingering for a moment before looking back at Aruvian. “And you are prepared to continue, knowing my price?” 
Aruvian hesitated for only a second, though you did not see it- too busy working out what the price could be and how your husband would have already agreed to it. You did not hear the unspoken exchange between the two males- the one in which Aruvian silently offered his servitude, his loyalty, in exchange for the one thing you both desired above all else. 
“I know the cost,” he said, his voice low but firm. 
Sauron smiled- a cold, cruel smile that made your skin prickle. “Very well. You shall have what you seek.” 
The sorcerer’s magic had woven through the air like tendrils of ice touched shadows, creeping into your body and warping you from within. You felt it immediately- the dark energy coiling around your soul, reshaping you, twisting your flesh in ways that felt unnatural and wrong. But Aruvian had held you, whispering words of comfort in your ear, words of love and strength. 
And for a time, you believed him. 
________________________________
Adar snapped back to the present, his breath catching in his throat as the memory tore through him like a blade. His hands clenched into fists, and he forced himself to look once again toward Eregion. But the pain lingered, gnawing at him like a warg with a bone. 
You had trusted him. He had convinced you that it would all be worth it, that the suffering would pass, and soon you would hold your child in your arms. But the sorcerer’s magic had not been a blessing; it had been a curse. 
As the months passed, your body had weakened, twisted by the dark power that had been forced into you. You grew frail, sickly, and still, you clung to hope. But Adar had known, even then, that something was terribly wrong. He had seen the price you were paying and yet he said nothing. He had remained silent, too afraid to lose the chance he had bargained for. 
When the time came for the child to be born, your body had been too fragile to survive. Your screams of agony echoing through the cold, empty halls. You died there in that tower. Your final breath slipping away as the child- the one you so longed for- took its first and last.  
Adar had held your lifeless bodies in his arms, his heart shattered and soul broken. He had traded everything for a child, and in doing so, he had lost the one person who had meant the most to him. The one person who had trusted him, even when she shouldn’t have. 
_____________________________
The winds howled around him as Adar stood at the edge of the battlefield, his eyes cold and empty. Eregion would fall, and with it, the last remnants of the world he once knew. His servitude to Sauron had begun with a lie, and now, centuries later, he would finally end it for good. 
There were no more promises, no more bargains to be made. Only darkness remained. And Adar would see it through to the very end.
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artficlly ¡ 5 months ago
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a dish served cold (mini series - part six)
Wild West Marvel AU
outlaw!bucky x reader
after the murder of your pa, you go on a journey to find justice. fate brings you to crimson junction for a reason, and that reason is bucky barnes. 
Warnings: enemies to lovers, forced proximity, guns, violence, kidnapping, mentions of murder/death, sexual tension, death of parent, verbal fighting/argument, outlaw bucky, protective bucky, betrayal, animal death, hunting, mention of bounty hunters, no use of y/n, lmk if i've missed anything
Word Count: 4.9k
A/N: part six!! we're in the end game now, let me know your thoughts sorry for any typos - not proof read.
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As the sun dipped below the horizon, the sky transformed into a canvas of deep purples and fiery oranges, casting the landscape in a warm, otherworldly glow before darkness took hold. You and Bucky watch the transition silently, feeling the cool evening breeze ruffle your hair and send shivers down your spine. The crackling flames of the campfire provided a comforting warmth, but you couldn't help but notice the biting chill that seemed to seep into your very bones.
Setting up camp near the winding river had advantages; the proximity to water made it easier to replenish your supplies, and you planned to follow said river to an eventual civilisation, but it also meant lower temperatures. In the distance, the silhouettes of deer and rabbits darted across the plains, their movements accompanied by the gentle rustling of bushes. The haunting sound of coyotes filled the air, their distant howls echoing through the stillness of the night, a constant reminder of the untamed wilderness that surrounded you.
You had cooked up the last food, two cans of beans. One for you, one for Barnes. You were both starving after days of travel, so you did not bother to scrunch your nose at the food. A comfortable silence had fallen over both of you, but you couldn’t help but notice how Bucky’s eyes often drifted over to you. You wondered if he was sizing you up. The fire crackled and cast a warm glow on his rugged features, accentuating his intense gaze. You found his silent scrutiny both unnerving and intriguing, wondering what thoughts ran through his mind as he observed you.
Exhaustion weighed heavy in your bones, and you hoped the outlaw would fall asleep soon. It was unsafe to be the first, in case he slipped his binds and ambushed you. You can feel the weight of your eyelids as your head bobs slightly, trying to keep yourself awake. You scan the surroundings, the flickering light of the campfire casting eerie shadows across the clearing. Every rustle of the leaves or crack of a branch made your heart skip a beat. The thought of being murdered in your sleep undoubtedly motivated you to remain vigilant. You didn’t take Bucky for the cruel type. He was violent, yes, but not sadistic. At least you hoped. 
“How’d you get into this business?” The outlaw's voice breaks the silence, and your head jolts upward to meet his steady gaze.
“Why?” You ask, voice tinged with suspicion. Did he still think you were just a bounty hunter after everything he'd seen?
“Just curious, that’s all.” It was as though the quiet unsettled him too, and he was anxious to fill it.
You consider his words, sucking on your teeth thoughtfully. Your mission wasn't driven by money; it was fueled by revenge. Vigilante was a more fitting title for you. Many had asked you the same questions along your journey. You'd stroll into ramshackle saloons and bars, ensuring to unbutton your bodice or blouse and wear a coy smile. Men, often foolish and drunk, rarely thought beyond their desires. It was easy to pick up a breadcrumb trail, piecing together murmurs and rumours circulating through the small trading towns. Each time, you spun elaborate lies; the truth was more mundane than any story you could fabricate. You'd tell them you were a descendant of a long line of bounty hunters, seeking revenge on the man who killed your one true love, or trying to impress a hardy gentleman back east.
Maybe tonight you could tell the truth. The two of you are alone now. His quickly approaching date with death warranted some honesty between the both of you. He didn’t even know half the story; at least, he hadn't picked it up. He had taken one look at your attire and fluttering eyelashes and dismissed you as harmless. Not a threat. He didn’t even know why, out of all the outlaws in the country, you had chosen him.
“‘Cause of my Pa,” you hum. Your voice is a soft melody in the stillness. You pick at some softer grass that protrudes from the earth. “He’s dead now.”
“I remember. You told me back in Crimson Junction.”
A genuine smile emerges on your face at his words. So he had remembered. “He was a hard-workin’ man, a blacksmith. He worked hard to keep me and my Ma fed. We were close, ‘least I was closer with him than I was my Ma. She always took it kind of hard, I think. Called us thick as thieves. One day, he and my Ma went a couple of towns over on the train for their wedding anniversary and left me alone at the house.” 
You pause, taking a deep breath, before continuing. Your smile falters. “The day they were supposed to come back, they were late. I waited up all night, sick to my stomach. I went over all these terrible things that could’ve happened to them. Until my Ma returned home early in the mornin’, covered in blood, cryin’ her eyes out.”
Your face tightens, the muscles around your mouth drawing into a grimace. “There had been some holdup on the train, some robbery gone wrong. He was killed. Shot in the back of the head like some animal. My Ma, she watched the whole thing. She couldn’t do anything. Just screamed.” 
​​You lift your gaze, meeting Bucky’s eyes with a hard stare. “They never caught the guy.”
The blood drains from Bucky’s face as he listens. You continue to fidget with the grass, your brows scrunching in thought, the memories as vivid as the day they occurred.
“Every day I would go down to the sheriff station and look at the bounty posters. I would look at the faces of the men. My Ma pointed out the poster of the man who she claimed was responsible. And I would stand there, and I would stare, wonderin’ if we would get the justice we deserved.”
“Where was this robbery?” Bucky questions, his voice strained. You ignore him. 
“The law lost interest, some rich stagecoach was robbed, and all their eyes turned away.” You continue, a bitter edge creeping into your tone. “It made me sick that those men, the men who swore they would bring justice, abandoned us so quickly, all for a few more dollars.”
Bucky’s face twists with horror and guilt as the weight of your words settles over him. You watch him for a moment, your expression cold. 
“Me and my Ma had some money, but we were gonna starve without my Pa’s work. We couldn’t work the forge or have a bank account… so we sold it. The best I could do was marry and send money back to my Ma but… but all I could do was stare at those posters. So I bought a horse with what little we had left, took my Pa’s rifle, and rode out. I followed hints and leads until I found a trail.”
“Ya don’t understand—” Bucky speaks up again, near-begging. Your eyes snap upward, and you lift your chin high, your mouth set in a firm line.
“That trail led me to Crimson Junction. It led me to you.”
The silence returns, thicker and uncomfortable. Bucky’s eyes are downcast in shame, like a scolded dog. Your stomach twists, a nauseating frustration gnawing at your gut. You rise to your knees, your knuckles white as you aim your rifle over his heart.
“And to think, I spent weeks or months staring at your picture on a poster," you continue, your voice akin to a snarl. "I thought when I found you that you’d be some monster. I knew in my heart that you were evil because you shot my Pa. In the back of the head, no less, like a coward. You couldn’t even shoot a man who was lookin’ you in the eyes."
You pause, a mix of exasperation and disbelief in your tone. “I wondered if you’d have horns like a devil or hooved feet. But when I saw you… you were normal. And instead of this wickedness I had prepared myself for, you showed me kindness. In that saloon. You didn’t know me, yet you protected me.”
You lock eyes with Bucky, demanding an answer. “Why?” 
Bucky remains silent. You lurch forward, still aiming the gun. 
“Why?!” You scream at him, your voice echoing through the quiet of the night. The outlaw doesn’t even flinch. 
“Because it was the right thing to do.” Bucky replies quietly, his eyes casting down again for a moment before meeting yours again.
You sneer at him. 
“The right thing? The right thing to do?” You scoff, your tone laced with utter disbelief. You let out a sharp, almost delirious laugh. “You killed my father. You. You killed him. He turned his back, and you, like a coward, shot him. You pulled that trigger.” 
Bucky sucks in a sharp breath. “Ya left your home, marched out into this desert… all because of yer father?”
“Yes.” You say, chest heaving with each breath. “My mother is still in mourning, you know. Dressed in black each day, that’s if she even gets out of bed. It was never about the bounty money, but justice. It was about revenge. I would bring you back to Aramiah and I would watch you swing. You’d take your last breath, and the last thing you’d see would be me and my Ma smilin’ up at you.”
“That’s why you’re draggin’ us all the way to Aramiah? For revenge?” Bucky barks.
“I’m beginnin’ to think I should’ve shot you out here and put you down like the animal you are. ‘Least I’d have the guts to look you in the eye while I did it.” You hiss.
Bucky rises to his knees, his movements slow and deliberate as he shuffles towards you. Your shoulders tense involuntarily, and your hands are steady on the rifle as you watch him pause before you.
“Then do it,” he challenges. 
The pounding of your heart reverberates in your chest, feeling as if it might leap out of your throat. The sound was as deafening as the rushing flood waters that had devastated Crimson Junction. You could do it. You could end the journey that you had foolishly started. You could end this cycle of violence and suffering. 
Your breath caught in your throat, and your arms began to tremble under the strain. Bucky did not move an inch; his eyes were locked with yours. Silent acceptance. It made you sick. 
Would killing him really end the cycle? Or would the wheel spin once more, creating a new path of destruction through your actions? Your head ached with the weight of the decision, and your palms were slick with sweat. Was this the path of righteousness, or was it wickedness in disguise?
You could kill him; you could end it. But it still meant your Ma would starve. It still meant you’d have to return the same as you left. You’d still have to marry and carry the weight of all you had been through and all that was to come. Even if you were not the one to pull the trigger, even if he swung… would you feel better? Would there still be a pit in your chest that seemed to deepen with each passing day?
It would pass. 
It will pass.
You threw the rifle to the ground with a grunt, sitting back on your haunches. Bucky observed you with a grim expression, mirroring your actions as he lowered himself to the ground across from you.
“I will watch them hang you.” You tell him, hands shaking. “I will watch you die, and the world will be better for it.”
—
A fine, ethereal mist lay over the landscape in the early morning, casting a dreamy veil over the terrain. Dew clung to every surface, tiny beads of moisture coating the grass and bushes like delicate jewels. Even your hair and clothes were damp, the moisture seeping into your skin and leaving a slight ache in your bones when you awoke.
Both you and Bucky were quick to rise. There was no need for words; you both understood the urgency of covering as much ground as possible before the midday sun turned the desert into a scorching furnace.
This wordless routine continued for several days. Each morning, you would wake early, drink from the river, and follow its current through the arid landscape. Bucky, his hands bound, trailed behind you on the horse. By midday, you would seek out any available shelter—a rock, a tree—anything to provide respite from the relentless heat. As the sun dipped below the horizon, you would resume your journey, travelling until darkness enveloped the land. Then, you would light a fire, rest, and prepare to repeat the cycle the next day.
The two of you did not speak again until the third day.
The river's water kept you both hydrated, but the cool liquid did little to sate your hunger. The two of you sat under a sparse tree, its leaves rustling in the gentle breeze as shadows and light danced across your skin. The patch of shade was so small that your shoulders were pressed against each other, despite your mutual disdain.
Bucky leant his head back against the trunk, loose strands of hair tickling his forehead, his eyes closed. You, meanwhile, eye him cautiously, your arms hugging the rifle in your lap. Despite his constant nonchalance, you never let your guard down around the outlaw.
Just as you thought he had drifted asleep, Bucky’s eyes crack open as your stomach growls. It has been grumbling for the past two days, the lack of food and constant exertion were wearing you down to exhaustion.
“Ya know, we see animals all the time while we’re walkin’. Why don’t you shoot one and feed yerself so we both don’t have to listen to yer stomach wailin’ all the time?” He asks with a sigh.
You swore he was asleep. You had counted his breaths and listened as they grew slow and deep. Now he was peering across at you. His tone didn’t sound hostile, but it certainly wasn’t concern laced. He was rather frustrated, like he had discovered the solution to the mystery, but you were still struggling to solve the first clue. 
“You really think I haven’t already thought about that?” You snip back, your voice sharp. Bucky’s eyebrow twitches, a flash of irritation crossing his face as he leans back against the rough bark of the tree.
“Ya know how to hunt, right?” He asks, his tone flat and expectant.
You remain silent, tilting your head away so you don’t have to look at him, staring instead at the distant horizon where the distant, blue mountains stood ever vigilant.
“Yer Pa taught you how to shoot, but he didn’t teach ya how to hunt?” He questions again, astounded. 
“He taught me how to protect myself from other people. People like you. His lessons were usually of the ‘wherever you shoot you’re bound to hit something important enough’ variety.” You retort, bitterness creeping into your voice as you clench your fists in your lap.
“That don’t answer my question.” He presses, eyes narrowing.
“People are big, usually runnin’ towards you. So we would line up bottles and cans… I never had movin’ targets.” 
Bucky sighs in disbelief, his bound hands raising to rub his face in exasperation. “So yer gonna let yerself starve? On account of what—pride?” 
“And what do you suggest I do? I’m not wastin’ bullets teachin’ myself out here.” You snap, turning your head to finally glare at him.
“Well, I know how to hunt.” He offers, his voice calmer now, almost coaxing, his blue eyes locking onto yours.
“You don’t seriously think I would give you the gun?” You scoff.
“It was worth a try.” 
“Unbelievable.” You mutter under your breath. 
“I could teach you. Tell you how hunt… how to aim right—” Bucky starts, his voice more earnest now, leaning slightly forward.
“I’m not givin’ you this gun Barnes—” You cut him off.
“I weren’t sayin that—”
“Then what are you sayin’?!”
Maybe it was the relentless heat bearing down on you both, making the air thick and maddening, but you wanted to wring his neck out of sheer frustration. 
“I can tell you what to do. You hold the gun and I can guide you.” 
You pause. The sweltering sun seemed to amplify every irritation, yet you couldn't deny the practicality of his offer. You study his face, searching for any trace of deceit. The hard lines of his jaw and the determined set of his eyes all speak to his desperation—a desperation that mirrors your own. 
“Would that really work?” 
“I don’t know,” he admits, his gaze unwavering, the honesty in his voice catching you off guard. “But it sounds better than starvin’.”
You narrow your eyes at him, weighing the risks, your fingers digging into the coarse fabric of your skirt. The memory of your father, of what Bucky had done, gnaws at you, but so does the gnawing emptiness in your stomach, the fear of dying out here alone.
“Alright,” you finally concede. 
A reluctant truce.
—
When the overhead sun slowly began to dip across the blue skies and the late afternoon heat started to sizzle out, you and Bucky emerged from your shade. The heat of the day gave way to a more bearable warmth, and the sky began to change colours as the sun descended. Bucky had explained to you earlier that rabbits were most active at dusk or dawn, which worked well for you since your skin already felt burned to a crisp. 
The two of you lay parallel to each other, downwind from an active burrow the outlaw had spotted during your short scouting mission away from the riverbed. Tall grass tickled your skin as you settled into position, the skies blooming in beautiful oranges and pinks as the sun sank below the horizon. 
You lay close to one another so that Bucky could whisper instructions to you without alerting your prey. Your forearms and shoulders knocked against each other occasionally as both of you leaned on your elbows, scanning the environment for any signs of movement. The proximity was necessary, but it also brought an unexpected sense of intimacy that neither of you acknowledged.
It was strangely peaceful, as if the tension between you had been cut. You had spent so many days boiling over, caught up in your terrible thoughts that repeated in circles in your head. Having a moment to focus on something other than your misery was weirdly pleasant, even if the company wasn’t. 
“There. By that bush,” Bucky hisses beside you, his voice barely a whisper. His body is tense, every muscle coiled in anticipation. You follow his gaze, your own limbs frozen, acutely aware of the need for stillness. “Ya see it?”
“Yes,” you replied, your voice equally low and hushed. Your fingers tightened around the metal of the rifle, the surface warm and slippery from your sweaty touch. 
“Aim up yer shot like you would normally.” The outlaw instructed, his head dipping slightly as he remained locked onto the rabbit through the tall grass.
You follow his instructions, moving slowly and deliberately. Using the sights, you guide the barrel to the left, aligning it with the small, delicate form of the rabbit. Your heart pounds in your chest as you rest your aim over the rabbit's shoulder, sucking in a slow, steady breath. Through the sights, you can see its twitchy little nose sniffing cautiously and its beady eyes scanning the surroundings for any sign of danger.
“Good.” Bucky’s voice was low and grumbling. The praise left a heat in your gut. “Aim over the head if ya can. Better to save as much meat as possible.”
You follow his guiding words once more, adjusting your aim and lifting the barrel slightly. The rabbit moves forward a step, its ears twisting, still unaware of the danger.
“Now, deep breath. Squeeze the trigger nice and slow,” he instructs, his voice a low, calming murmur. You can feel his warm breath ghosting across your cheek. 
You follow his words, your fingers hovering over the trigger as you breathe in deeply. The rabbit's whiskers twitch and its nose sniffs the air cautiously. You exhale slowly, centring yourself, your finger now steady on the trigger.
The shot rings out—a sharp, deafening crack that echoes across the empty plains, momentarily drowning out all other sounds. Around you, wildlife scatters in a flurry of motion; birds take flight in panicked flocks, and deer bound deeper into the desert, their white tails flashing in the fading light. You grit your teeth, a frustrated sigh escaping your lips as the rabbit's white tail disappears into its burrow, unharmed.
“I told you this wouldn’t work.” You grumble, pushing the rifle away with a rough shove. 
It was not like you to be quick to give up. You had always been fiercely determined your entire life; that’s how you ended up in this mess in the first place. You did not falter when faced with difficult or even seemingly impossible tasks. But this journey, this desert, had worn you down. Maybe it was the hunger and heatstroke talking, but you felt as though holes had been worn into your very being, draining you of the strength that had always defined you.
With a groan, you roll onto your back, your arm draped over your brow as you stare upward at the sky. The deep blue was darkening, and the warm light of the sunset was casting the world into a purple haze as the twilight hours descended. The stars began to peek through, tiny pinpricks of light in the vast expanse above, indifferent to your struggles.
Bucky was silent beside you, but when you glance over, you realise he was watching you with an uncharacteristically soft and unguarded expression. The usual brooding edge of his expression seem to soften in the fading light, his eyes reflecting a quiet concern.
“We still have time. Sun’s not set yet,” he says, his voice gentle, almost coaxing. 
You consider his words, your empty stomach clenching so hard it was nauseating. “This isn’t working,” you repeat yourself. The outlaw frowned, his brow furrowing in thought.
“It’s not that it’s just—” He sighs, tilting his head slightly as if searching for the right words. “Yer too tense, you need to relax a bit, yer shot jerked up.” 
“Barnes—” You begin with a grumble and he cuts you off. 
“One more try. I think I might go mad if I have to listen to yer stomach wailin’ any longer. If ya untied me, I could guide ya better,” he says, a hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, though his eyes remained serious.
You scowl at him, the idea of untying him again makes you uneasy. There was an unspoken truce between the two of you. You had untied the man before, and he had not moved to attack you. He had kept his word, proving to be more useful than you ever wanted to admit. Maybe his help would get you this rabbit... but you certainly would not be giving him the gun.
As you mull over the decision, you can't ignore the twisting hunger that makes every second feel like an eternity. The analytical side of you recognised the sense in his suggestion. With a reluctant sigh, you reach over and begin to untie the ropes binding his hands. Bucky remains still, his eyes never leaving your face.
Once freed, he flexes his wrists, rubbing at the raw skin before turning his attention back to you. “Alright, let’s do this proper.” He says, his tone more focused now. 
Once again, you find yourself in position, stomach flat against the ground, shoulder-to-shoulder with Bucky. The earthy scent of the soil mixed with the faint fragrance of prairie grass fills your senses, grounding you. It didn’t take long for the rabbits to reemerge, their eager movements a testament to their obliviousness to the two of you tucked between blades of grass downwind.
Your sights rest on a clear shot, a rabbit out in the open, less obscured by foliage. You watch it as it sniffs around.
“You need to breathe, sweetheart,” Bucky hums from beside you, his voice a low, calming murmur. You fought the urge to roll your eyes, your mouth set in a determined line, and your shoulders tense. Bucky shifts beside you, his movements are deliberate and slow. Your head swivels away from your prey to look over at him in disbelief. 
“What’re you doin’—” you protest, only to cut yourself short. The outlaw had pushed himself up on his elbows, his hands coming to rest on your shoulder blades. The warmth of his touch sends a jolt through you, locking you in place. 
“Relax,” he mutters, his voice soft yet firm, as he applies gentle pressure with his palms against your upper back. The word was more of a command than a suggestion, and it resonates deep within you.
Brows drawn together, you face forward again, focusing on the rabbit. You’d have to process the outlaw nearly being on top of you later. His palms smooth across your shirt, the rough texture of his calloused hands against the soft fabric. He gently guides your pose until your shoulders are relaxed, and the tension gradually dissipates under his touch. 
You try to focus on your breathing, each inhale and exhale is measured and slow. Bucky continues to adjust your arms, indicating small movements with the slightest nudge of his hands. His touch is careful, almost tender, as he directs you, his fingers brushing against your skin. Then, his hands sweep down until they rest on your lower back, the warmth of his palms seeping through your shirt. His chin comes to rest over your shoulder, his breath warm against your ear. 
Much to your annoyance, you find that his silent suggestions were indeed helpful. Your body feels strangely at ease, even with him practically perched atop you. Your skin burns under his touch, heat flooding your cheeks as you try to focus on the task at hand.
“There you go, darlin’.” He whispers into your ear, his breath warm and his voice a low, soothing rumble. You can feel the vibrations of his tone through your back. Turning your focus to the rabbit once more, you breathe as he instructs, the rise and fall of your ribcage pressing against his chest with each inhale and exhale. 
You pull the trigger.
To your disbelief, the rabbit drops dead instantly.
A profound silence envelops both of you as the final echo of the gunshot fades into the distance. Bucky straightens up and offers a lopsided grin. You finally turn your head to stare at him in astonishment.
"Unbelievable," you mutter, but a smile begins to tug at your lips.
The tension that had coiled tight in your chest unravels all at once, replaced by a surge of elation. Laughter, raw and unfiltered, bubbles up from deep within you. It's a mixture of disbelief and relief.
Bucky shares in your joy. His chuckle is a deep, rumbling sound that mingles with your laughter, a genuine grin spreading across his rugged features. "Hell of a shot." 
Overcome with emotion, you surprise yourself by throwing your arms around him in a tight hug. His body stiffens momentarily, caught off guard by the sudden intimacy. Then, as if suddenly remembering he had control over his own body, he relaxes into your embrace. His hand finds its place gently on your back. You feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against your chest, mirroring your rapid pulse.
Then, as quickly as it surfaced, you jerk away with flushed cheeks.
His gaze flickers, darkening with a primal intensity. 
You remain shoulder-to-shoulder in the grass, the warmth of his body lingering where your shoulders, arms, and hips meet. A gentle breeze sweeps through the prairie, causing his dark hair to flutter. You swallow hard, but you can't bring yourself to look away from him.
The brief moment of triumph from shooting the rabbit—a moment of success after days—begins to fade. Bucky reaches forward, wordlessly and tenderly tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
Hunger still bites at you, but alongside the physical ache, there’s another hunger—an unsettling, confusing desire for the man beside you. 
Your heart pounds wildly in your chest. A part of you craves more. You want him to trace his fingers down your cheek, across your collarbone, and down to the swell of your breasts. You want his touch desperately, painfully. You're starving for him, your entire body trembling with need as you imagine his hands roaming lower, his lips searing against your skin. You long to feel his sculpted muscles beneath your fingertips, to draw unimaginable sounds from him with just your hands and mouth.
Maybe it's the madness of being under the sun for days on end, a blend of starvation and lunacy. Food is just meters away, yet you can't tear your gaze from him. Not as you lean into his touch, not even as your lips part.
Not even as you foolishly reach out, running your fingers through his hair.
And maybe he is just as foolish and hungry as you, because the outlaw grasps your face gently between his palms. His calloused hands are warm against your skin. He hesitates for a heartbeat, searching your eyes for any sign of resistance. When he finds none, he leans in and kisses you.
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ofrolysdogs ¡ 4 months ago
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demon slayer oc
last edited: 07/14/24 | 14/07/24
spoilers are below btw.
trying my best at a photo id so bear/bare(?) with me here: hoshiko sora is a dark skinned woman with short, dark brown hair with reddish undertones in the style of a mullet, her longer hairs are colored purple with blue tips, her eyes are a deep bluish purple with a normal purple gradient, her characteristic is her dark under eyes, besides the standard demon slayer uniform, her haori is a dark purple with a vivid purple gradient consisting of white stars, her kyahan is a darker shade of blue with sparkles and stars.
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- some lore on the oc in question, i decided to name her hoshiko sora, it's not her birth name but it's a name. - oldest of 2 other siblings, and is the second ever foreigner to become a hashira, after the death of her mentor, yukiko, ice breather, -- hoshiko was very close with her younger sister, yumeko, who turned out to be a "fallen angel," later having to kill her, her younger brother is in the care of the other ladies that live with her. - she lives with 15 women, all of them non-japanese, and 14 foster children named after colors. - her birthday is october 25th and she is 19 years old. - she's the star hashira and uses celestial breathing and to be real i don't give a rats ass if it's mary sue (she's already self insert so come at me bro) - her eyebags are genetic, not because of a lack of sleep, her mother and sister had the same eyebags. - she rides a giant sentient star she names sirius, and has even smaller stars she keeps as pets, their names and stuff are linked here. - her hair is based off a hairstyle i did back in 2022 minus the mullet. - she can sing, really good. -- when she was younger, she would sing yumeko and her brother lullabies she made up, and her voice is described as "otherworldly." - she's like 5'9 or 176 cm, the exact height of giyu, she weighs about 185 pounds - while her main love interest is kyojuro and is the one she chooses in the end, she can be shipped with all of the hashira (minus the 14 year old kid, he was with yumeko until you know what happened.), since they all find her to be beautiful. (ok fine i own up to it, she's mary sue, but hey, at least im free from cringe culture.) -- when she first joined, she had a crush on obanai, but after she found out that he was not only afraid of women, but he was... simultaneously in love with one, she was so heartbroken she contemplated on retiring as a demon slayer, and was also deeply resentful and jealous of mitsuri, but, her sister talked her out of it, and once yumeko had joined the hashira, she helped hoshiko get along with mitsuri better. - her personality consists of her being laidback, down to earth and composed, very go with the flow and tends to stay out of unnecessary conflict, she can be pretty comedic too. -- i guess when it comes to her personality, think a little of sans from undertale? - in the kimetsu academy au, she studies at a university overseas as an astronomer, while her descendant is an astronaut.
those other stats
- she shares a rank with tengen when it comes to physical strength, why? as a child she had a weird fixation for lifting heavy things, no one not even she knows why, weird childhood things i guess. - she's not the fastest, but isn't slow, either, ranks between giyu and obanai. - on the openness scale, she's around 75%. - on the kindness scale, she ranks between gyomei and obanai.
her opinions on everyone
"she's a pretty nice gal! however... something about her bugs me... if you catch my drift, also, i'm not a fan of bugs." - insect hashira "the same age as my dear sister, he's taken a liking to her, and what can i say? i don't blame him, they'll get married for sure! but not both of us, kid!" - mist hashira "im sorry to say it, but the man's awfully cringe, and no, i'm not taking up on the offer to be the fourth wife, nice nails though! which wife did them?" - sound hashira "he's got that mysteriousness to him i find attractive in men, but, we don't always get what we want, do we? but hey, at least i don't have to worry about being bitten by a snake, right?" - serpent hashira "honestly, i don't have a real opinion on the guy, he's pretty cool i should say, however he's got some secrets the rest don't know, thats my favorite part about him. ;)" - stone hashira "a gloomy fellow he seems, but, if you put it past you, he's got more to him, it makes me sad how the other members treat him like that." - water hashira "loud as can be, gives me an array of compliments, the others are saying 'give him a chance, can't you see? he's in love with you!' ... hmm, i can admit, he's got an essence." - flame hashira "dear god, why can't i be blessed with such beauty? the man i had fallen for has fallen for her! why does this always happen to me?" - love hashira "now, can i say he's terrifying? not really, but am i lying when i say those eyes don't freak me out just a little? also yes." - wind hashira
everyones opinions on her.
"a celestial breather? well thats certainly unique!" - insect hashira "she's like a jellyfish, she's very flowy and beautiful, she also has a very pretty sister." - mist hashira "she's very flashy! if i had the chance to choose my wife, she would've been my first pick, she has the best hips for childbirth here!" - sound hashira "i heard she likes me... ew, but at least she's pretty." - serpent hashira "she has a beautiful singing voice, rengoku is deeply in love with her, but she loves obanai..." - stone hashira "she's very kind to me and understands me well, i like her very much." - water hashira "she may not look it, but she's very ruthless during battle, she's also the most beautiful woman i have ever laid my eyes on!" - flame hashira "she's very beautiful, i have never seen rengoku so flattered! but, i don't think she likes me much.." - love hashira "she's pretty cool, actually." - wind hashira
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regulatedstrawberry ¡ 11 months ago
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Reaching New Heights : A Tails Adventure - Chapter 12
Happy Holidays everyone! Newest chapter of my fic is out, with a preview below the cut - the longest chapter yet. Hope you enjoy, and I'll see all you readers in the new year!
Summary:
“When this is all over… I think I need to go it alone for a while. I can’t grow into my full potential if I always fall back on you.” Tails decides to embark on his own journey, without Sonic. Amy goes on the girls trip of her dreams, with Cream and Sticks. Sonic receives a surprise visit from the future. Takes place after the main storyline events of Sonic Frontiers.
Rating: T Words: 34k+ Chapters: 13/?
Read the Prologue Here!
Sonic and Silver were wiped.
Since infiltrating Eggman’s base yesterday afternoon, the two of them had spent the entire night through the morning, searching for something that could explain the time paradox threatening the future. Aside from Eggman’s wrath, and the phone call with Amy, they hadn’t made it any farther than where they’d started. 
Exhausted and fruitless, the two hedgehogs trudged to the wooden picket fence of Vanilla’s cottage, and opened the gate to the yard
“Ugh…” Sonic yawned, covering his mouth lazily, before turning to look at Silver with bags under his eyes. “Sorry we didn’t find anything. We’ll start back after…” Another yawn. “After we get some sleep.” 
Silver’s usual gentle smile was replaced with a worn, grumpy expression. He took a deep breath, trying to fight the tiredness. “Okay,” he mumbled, reaching up to rub his eyes. “Remind me why we didn’t go to Spagonia again?”
Sonic rubbed his face, groaning. “Because Amy is there,” he explained. “And she’s helping out the citizens of Spagonia recover from the earthquake. Plus, I want to let Vanilla know that I talked to Cream, and that she’s safe.” 
It wasn’t a full answer, but Sonic was too tired to really explain it to Silver again. He’d explained this to Silver in the middle of the night, while they were walking. Amy wanted to go off on her own, as she put it, to ‘share her love with the world’ . If Amy learned about Silver’s situation, she would drop everything to help them – or at the very least stretch herself out thin between them and the Spagonians. Sonic was lucky, really, to have such good friends that he could call upon and rely on in a pinch.
But this was Amy’s time to be independent. It was all she’d asked of him - the least he could do was honor her request… by making sure he handled it himself.
Sonic dropped his hands from his face. Despite what felt like a solid and straightforward explanation, he still felt like there was a feeling… unaccounted for. It felt unnatural for these things to weigh so heavily on him. Like there was some subconscious feeling he couldn’t quite name .
He shook his head, deciding to chalk up the spiraling to sleep deprivation, and shoved the feeling down in his chest. Sonic didn’t want to think about it any further - he wasn’t used to having such deep thoughts for so long. He just wanted to lay down. 
Silver let out a heavy sigh through his nose, reaching a hand to rub the corner of his eye. “Okay,” he said quietly, faintly remembering the conversation. The situation in the future had Silver on edge; it was difficult to focus on anything else. He was more upset that they ended this search with no leads, and for once as a time traveler, that was something he was now running out of. If it wasn’t for his weakening body, he would have kept searching on his own. 
But the sight of Vanilla’s quaint cottage, the worn surface of her wooden door, felt comforting, with the smell of home-cooked food wafting through the windows.
“We’ll get back to it after our power nap,” Sonic reassured, his little quips still coming easily to him. He grabbed the handle to the front door, and turned it, looking over at Silver. “Let’s just get some…”
The door opened. Neither hedgehog was prepared for what they had walked into.
Read Chapter 12 Here!
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springtyme ¡ 5 months ago
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Firstly, CONGRATS on 2k what the heck!? That is a total dream for my blog!! You absolutely deserve it!!!!
I have come with a ✨Luca request for your celebration ! (Quite a random one, sorry hahaha)
But omg idk if you’ve seen the knafeh pistachio chocolate bars on tik tok?! Not sure if it’s because my period is coming - but HO. LY. SHITE!!!! They look fuuuucking insaaane!!
I know my hubs Luca would see me watching video after video for nights in a row and then one night coming home with it not knowing it was a particularly hard day 💖💖
𝐏𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐨 𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 ♡
Thank you so much, dear! And thank you for the request, I was so excited to get to write for Luca. I had to google those chocolate bars cause I don’t have tik tok, and omg they look sooo scrumptious!! ♡
Chef Luca x afab!reader || Main Masterlist || Spotify
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summary: Dating a pastry chef comes with it's perks. And 'I love you' doesn't always have to be said with words.
word count: 2.1k
warnings/tags: Fluff/comfort. Food as a metaphor for love. Mention of periods/cramps.
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You are completely drenched from the waist down, the wet denim of your jeans sticking uncomfortably to your tired legs, who feels immensely heavy as you drag yourself up the stairs to your apartment. Finally reaching your door, you fumble with your keys, fingers cold and stiff from the chilly downpour. The lock clicks open, and you stumble inside, dripping water onto the hardwood floor as you kick off your sodden shoes, letting them land haphazardly by the door.
You drop your bag on the floor with a heavy sigh, today has truly been one of those days where everything seems to go wrong. Work had been exhausting and you had been counting down the hours until you could finally escape and return home, then when you finally were heading home and came up from the metro station at Skjolds Plads, the sky had opened up and poured down on you without warning, the little travel umbrella you always have in your bag had saved your hair and made sure your makeup didn’t run down your cheeks, but had otherwise been no match for the torrential rain. It felt like the universe was purposely trying to make your day even worse, leaving you drenched and cold and miserable. And on top of all that your period is coming and you can feel the familiar cramps starting to settle in.
You shred your wet clothes, stepping into the kitchen to throw them into the washer before you trudge into the tiny bathroom. You quickly strip off your underwear and turn on the hot water in the shower, the warm water cascading over your chilled skin, slowly thawing you out. The heat soothes your tired muscles and eases the tension in your body, providing some much needed relief, and for a moment, you can almost forget about the chaos that had been your day.
You let out a deep sigh as you close your eyes, letting the water rinse away the stress and frustration of the day before you begin to lather up your body and scrub away the feeling of being weighed down by the events of the day. The scent of lavender from your body wash fills the steamy air, calming your senses and allowing you to relax for the first time all day.
You finish up your shower and after drying off and putting on lotion you shuffle towards the bedroom, you put on a cosy oversized t-shirt and pyjama bottoms, feeling comforted by the soft fabric against your skin before leaving for the kitchen to make yourself a cup of tea. You fill the electric kettle, trying your best to ignore the pile of dirty dishes in the sink that you had meant to wash when you came home, before placing it back on its stand, pushing the button and watch as the little light turns on, indicating that it’s heating up.
Once the water is ready, you pour it over the tea bag that you have plopped into your favourite ceramic mug, the warm and soothing aroma begins to fill the air as you bring the steaming mug with you into the living room, letting the warmth of the mug seep into your hands as you sit on the couch, the rain still drumming steadily against the window. You take a few sips, before placing the mug on the coffee table, curling up on the couch and wrapping yourself in a warm, cosy blanket.
You miss Luca, all you really feel in the mood for right now is a cuddle, but he still won’t be back from the restaurant for hours. You feel a pang of loneliness wash over you, wishing he was here with you. But you know he is working hard and that a place like Noma is worth the long hours he puts in. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, trying to push away the feeling of loneliness that suddenly threatens to consume you.
You love that he is able to pursue his passion and excel in his career, but some days, like today, you wish he had a more regular schedule, so that you could spend more time together.
You grab your phone, to mindlessly scroll through social media, trying to distract yourself from the pain and exhaustion that weighs you down. The warm steam in the shower had soothed your beginning cramps, but the uncomfortable, dull ache that always warns you of the impending storm in your lower abdomen is starting to make itself known again as you mindlessly scroll through your feed. You try to focus on cute cat videos and funny memes, anything to take your mind off the discomfort.
But it does not take long for the algorithm to begin showing you your latest obsession, and suddenly you are fed video after video of the most criminally delicious looking pistachio filled chocolate treats. You close the app with a groan, disposing of your phone on the coffee table and burying your face in the soft blanket, trying to distract yourself from the cravings that are starting to creep up on you. Chocolate is always your weakness, especially when you’re feeling low, and right now, all you want is a big bar of rich, creamy chocolate to indulge in, but you don’t have any and you are not going outside in this weather again just to go out and buy some.
You close your eyes, letting your tired body sink deeper into the soft cushions of the sofa as you focus on the sound of rain outside, the gentle pitter-patter helping to calm your mind and soothe your nerves. It’s nice, but you are only going to stay here for ten more minutes, then you’re going out to wash the dishes and start the laundry. Or at least that is what you tell yourself.
But as the minutes pass and the rain pounds against the windows, a steady rhythm that lulls you into a state of semi-consciousness, and soon you find yourself drifting off to sleep. The warmth of the blanket, the soothing sound of the rain, and the exhaustion of the day is finally catching up to you, pulling you into a peaceful slumber.
You have no idea how long you were asleep for when you are pulled back to consciousness again by the sound of the front door opening, slowly gaining your senses back, and finally opening your eyes as you feel the couch under you slightly dip. You blink blearily, your eyes adjusting to the dim light as you focus on the figure that sits on the edge of the couch by your feet. A gentle hand, squeezing your calf.
“You’re already home?” you murmur sleepily, still feeling disoriented from your nap, but very happy to see him.
“Already? Babe, it’s the evening,” Luca says softly.
“Oh,” you reply, reaching out to check the time on your phone. “I wanted to fix the kitchen before you got home,” you mumble, feeling guilty for having slept the afternoon away and not gotten anything done.
“We can just fix it together.” He says it as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. “But let’s do it later, though.”
You smile up at him, feeling a rush of warmth and contentment at his presence. “That sounds good.” And it really does, you normally hate doing the dishes and fixing the kitchen, but doing it together with Luca could never bother you.
“Your tea has gone cold,” he observes, yet he still reaches for the mug on the coffee table and takes a sip, immediately wincing as the cold liquid hits his tongue and you can not help but laugh softly at his reaction. He chuckles as well, placing the cold mug back on the table. “Want me to make you another one?”
“No, that’s okay, but thank you.”
“Then scoot over and make some room for me,” he then says with a tired grin, softly tapping your thigh as you scoot up against the backrest, making space for him to lay next to you. But before he lays down, he puts down the little white pastry box that you hadn’t noticed he had been holding until now, on the coffee table.
He plops down next to you, wrapping his strong arms around you, pulling you close to his chest. You lean into him, feeling the comforting warmth of his body against yours, the stress and frustration of the day melting away at his touch. “What’s in the box?” you ask, curiosity piqued as you lean forward, or at least as much forward as possible while being wrapped in your boyfriend’s bear hug, to inspect the cardboard square.
“Dessert,” he replies nonchalantly, not helping in the slightest in satisfying your curiosity.
“Now you are just being cryptic on purpose.”
“I said it was dessert, didn’t I? You don’t have to worry about it until I have gotten some real food in you,” he teases, giving you a playful squeeze and your stomach comes in clutch with perfect comedic timing as it growls loudly by the prospect of dinner. Work had been so hectic that you hadn’t had time to eat a proper lunch.
“Okay, okay, dinner then dessert,” you surrender with a huff. “Want me to whip up something? Maybe pasta?” you offer, trying to be helpful, you are nowhere near as competent in the kitchen as he is, but you can manage to cook a decent enough meal if you put your mind to it and you still feel bad that you have been napping for the last few hours while he has been at the restaurant from dawn to evening and only just got home.
“Nah, you seem tired, let’s just order something instead. Or I can run down to Alanya.” He offers. “Lamb goes really well with pistachio.”
“I can run down to Alyana, I’m the one who has been napping the whole afternoon.”
“That’s just good. I’m happy you got some rest, you need more than you get.”
“Says you?! You’re the one who needs more rest than you get, you have to get up at 4 most days,” you argue.
“I’m used to it,” Luca shrugs, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “And 4 am is late for bakers, trust me it could be much worse.”
“You’re a pastry chef, not a baker,” you remind him, nuzzling against his broad chest. “You made that very clear on our first date, remember?”
“Eh, I was pretentious back then.”
“Still kind of are,” you tease, poking his side lightly. “But I love you anyway.”
He chuckles, wrapping you tighter in his embrace. You lay like this for a little while until you break the silence again.
“But what did you mean with ‘lamb goes well with pistachio?’”
“Well, we had a bunch of extra pistachios at the restaurant, so…” he loosens his grip on you and sits up, reaching for the pastry box on the table to open it and show you what’s inside.
“Have I been dating a psychic this whole time?” you say half jokingly and half in disbelief, eyes widening in surprise as Luca reveals the content of the box. Inside are beautifully crafted pistachio-filled chocolate bars, each one looking like a work of art. The rich chocolate coating is sprinkled with crushed pistachios. You can feel your mouth watering just looking at them, the cravings you had been trying to push away earlier coming back with a vengeance, yet these look somewhat even more delicious than the ones on tiktok. “I’ve just been thinking about how bad I’m craving these, and I have never even tried them before. How do you even know about these? You’re never online.”
“You watch those videos constantly, how could I not know?” Luca says it with a gentle smile. The soft lighting of the living room casts a warm glow on his face, his blue eyes twinkling with affection. “You should really cut down your screen time,” he teases, disposing of the pastry box again to wrap you in his arms once more in a sweet, lingering kiss. You melt into his touch, savouring the warmth and love that radiates from him. In that moment, all the stress and worries of the day fade away, replaced by a sense of peace and happiness that only he can bring.
As you break apart, you can not help but smile up at him, feeling grateful for his thoughtfulness and the way he always knows how to make you feel better. “Thank you,” you whisper, your voice filled with emotion.
“Anything for you, love,” he replies, pressing another soft kiss to your forehead, tattooed arms holding you tight as you connect your lips again.
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plugrick ¡ 11 months ago
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Beneath soiled bandages, the freshly awarded wounds were impossibly deep and furiously angry. Spiderwebbed veins the color of bruises pulsated on the surface of exoskeleton with each heartbeat, as if ready to absorb the next dose of foul poison. It was almost as if the flesh around the injection site was trying to reject the toxins, yet the venom was fighting back in turn. It was enough of a visual to make the Grand Leader crinkle his nose in a subtle flinch.
Kenneth took a step forward and extended his hand towards the ring of tooth marks, as if his first instinct was to aid some sort of comfort... But he caught himself in his moment of weakness and pulled away.
He frowned, both in due part to the refusal of his condition as well as seeing his friend in such a sorry state of suffering. The effects of these particular lacerations was becoming an all too familiar sight.
“Mike. The death toll is already rapidly climbing.” He informed gravely, trying to convey the importance of the chaos at hand. “At this rate, very few will survive. It… it is clear that you are far stronger than the common soldier. Consider my plea.”
He held his hands out palm-up in a gesture of openness, hoping that it would be enough to help convince him.
“There must be something I can learn from you,” he attempted to reason. “To ease the suffering. Ease the affliction. Perhaps we can find a cure. One that doesn’t involve continuously poisoning oneself.”
It was coming as quite the challenge to sway his old friend in the direction of assisting him, and that much seemed to weigh heavy on Ken’s heart by the way his expression fell. To think that they had once been such close friends - maybe a more than friends, and now they stood so divided…
Plop. Plop. Plop plop.
The semicircle of indents left behind by a vicious bite had begun to seep in double time, soaked gauze unable to keep the blood and mystery ooze in check any longer. Droplets splattered on the smooth wooden floor, staining the grain a sickly purple.
Kenneth Scrimblo seemed to take pity on the horrific, diseased looking injury before him.
“If you are in pain, then allow me to at least help you,” he insisted. “It… doesn’t sit right with me to leave you like this.”
Ken and Mike had been side by side on many missions in their past, and had always looked out for one another in the midst of battle. In all the years they had known one another, they had never left eachother behind. And who could forget the romantic night in the medical tent on Azkaz-4? The lighting had been just right, the tent was warm, and Mike had tended to the bullet wound in Ken’s side oh so tenderly while the doctors were busy trying to reattach main arteries in soldiers who were unlucky enough to get more thoroughly riddled with artillery…
They had been younger then, and very much different people.
And yet. A soldier’s bond forged over the fires of war was a hard thing to break, as solid and strong as steel.
“Please, Mikey. Sit down. I’ve become a decent study in the art of medicine over the years, you know.”
X
#rp
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DEGRADATION TAKEN TOO FAR
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#includes: Tsukishima and Suna
#genre: Smut, hurt/comfort, fluff ending i guess?
#description: when they take degradation too far and hurt your feelings. Idea from @heartzdesirez
#warnings: heavy degradation, words like: bitch, slut , whore etc, roughish sex, fem reader, restraint, tears, kinda toxic.
Minors for the love of all that’s holy please DO NOT interact , thank you :)
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TSUKISHIMA KEI
Tsuki had always been a bit mean when it came to the bedroom , always preferring degradation over praise and for the most part you were okay with it. He never done anything you were uncomfortable with and always made sure to check up on you before and after, because that was and always will be his main priority.
He had come home after a practically rough day and just needed something or someone to take his frustrations out on and what better way than to have sex with you. You also weren’t having the best day so you immediately reciprocated Tsuki’s rough kiss, hoping it would take your mind off all the shit that’s weighing down on it.
One thing led to another and you found yourself pinned under him while he roughly thrusted in and out of you without a care. “You like that you little slut? Of course you do because that’s all you’re good for, a tight little clocksleeve for me to take my frustrations out on” you don’t know what it was , normally you’d eagerly nod your head and agree with him but today you just felt off. The sex wasn’t making you feel better it was making you feel worse and his words that used to turn you into a wet mess now pierced your heart. Tsuki noticed the slight wobble of your lip and thinking it was all part of the act , he continued his humiliation “ Aww the stupid little baby about to cry” he condescendingly laughed. You attempted to push him away with your hand on his chest but he gripped both wrists in one hand and pinned them above your head “is it too much for you whore ? Aw what a shame” 
You turned your head away in an attempt to hide the tears that were making their way down your face but he gripped your cheeks in his hand and turned your head to face him , “Look at me when I’m fuc- shit baby , are you okay?!” You don’t know if it was the tears on your cheeks or the disheartened look in your eyes that made him stop but you were glad he did. He immediately pulled out and took you into his arms so your head was now laying on his chest. “Fuck I’m so sorry baby , did I take to far?” He asked while rocking you back and forth and once he got the confirmation that that was the case he placed a multitude of kisses on your head while stroking your back. “God I’m so fucking sorry love. You know I didn’t mean any of that right?” when he gets no response he shifts you so your facing him and looking him dead in the eye. “Look at me pretty girl, I promise you that I didn’t mean any of it. You’re the most important person in my life, fu-fuck I don’t know what I’d do without you, I love you so much” the sincerity in his voice and loving gaze was enough to comfort and reassure you that he did love you. “Promise?” You asked weakly. “I’d put my whole life on it” he lovingly strokes your cheek and carries you into the bathroom to start a warm bath “I’m going to show you just how much I love you”
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SUNA RINTAROU
“Whiney…fucking…bitch” each word was punctuated by a deep hard thrust. Hate sex was nothing new to you and Suna, it occurred most of the time you guys got into arguments. It was an easy way to release your frustrations out on each other. However, today it was different, you weren’t reciprocating the same energy you normally would and that’s probably due to the nature of the argument that led you to be face down in the mattress.
The argument had started after you expressed your distaste in the way girls flirted with him and how he didn’t do anything about it and while he didn’t entertain them he also didn’t push them away which hurt. Once you voiced these concerns he mockingly laughed at you and told you how you needed to be less insecure because it was harmless. And yeah maybe you were insecure, because you know the way girls look at him and how they talk about your relationship , you just wanted reassurance. All you wanted was for him to tell you that he loves you and those girls mean nothing but instead you were met with harsh words instead , “You should be lucky I’m fucking you. You know how many girls would love to be in your position? Me fucking you should be reassurance enough” he followed his words with a harsh slap to your ass.
That was your breaking point. Your sobs were muffled in the sheets as he held your head down and continued to roughly thrust in and out of you. “This pussy is the only thing that’s keeping me here” you desperately clawed at his hands in hopes that he would get the message and remove them which he did. Once you lifted your head up , he could tell something was wrong and halted his movements “hey.. you okay?” You shook your head while your shoulders shake with your sobs and you desperately try to catch your breath. Suna quickly pulls out once he realises you’re not okay and rushes to your side. “Shh shh , what’s wrong baby? Talk to me” “is my body really the only things that’s keeping you here?” You got out through your sniffles. “Shit , of course it isn’t baby, I shouldn’t have said any of that , I was just angry , I’m so sorry baby , so fucking sorry” he pushed your head into his chest and soothingly stroked your hair. “I love you so much, im just a fucking idiot, no girl other than you means anything to me , you hear that? I was just mad that you couldn’t see that I only have eyes for you beautiful” “that’s all you had to say you idiot” you meekly chuckled. “I know I know I was just defensive and im sorry, it’ll never happen again” “I love you” “I love you more baby”
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REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED
Note: Hopefully I’ve done your idea justice @heartzdesirez
;)
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Š property of simpforanyanimeguywithdarkhair
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homeofthelonelywriter ¡ 3 years ago
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Better times (Luke Castellan x f!Reader)
(A/N) Sooo...I’m back? Kinda? I don’t even know. 
I tried to combine @tomorrowtrue​ ‘s and @dreamerinthesun​ ‘s requests into this. I haven’t written anything in so long, so I am really sorry if this sucks. 
Pairing: Luke Castellan x f!Reader
Warnings: fluff and slight angst at the end
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“Y/N?”
“Hm.”
“Y/N.”
“Hmmm.”
“Y/N, we need to get up.”
“Hmm…no.” A chuckle left my mouth.
“Yes, hun, we need to get up.”
“Hm…why?”
“Because Chiron will be mad if we miss our afternoon activities.” Y/N let out a deep sigh and pushed herself up onto her elbows just to glare at me. “Hey, I don’t make the rules babe!” With a huff, she turned around and sat up, glancing around the room. 
We were completely alone, no one came back to the cabin for a after-lunch-nap. Good, otherwise we would be in trouble. I watched my girlfriend sluggishly get out of bed. When she turned around and saw me still lying down, she grabbed her pillow and smacked me in the face. 
“W-What was that for?” 
“For waking me up and playing by the rules.” I grinned while getting up myself. “It won’t be that bad, we have all our activities together.” She sighed.
“I’d still prefer to be in bed…” A smirk spread across my lips, and I pulled her close by her hips. “Is that so?” Her hand met my face and she pushed me away. “How are you the head of the cabin, but still act like a horny fifteen-year-old?”
We quickly changed into our camp shirts, her wearing one of mine, before we headed out of the cabin and made our way to the first activity of the afternoon.
The activities ended at around five p.m. and we had an hour of free time before dinner. We chose to go to the woods and plan our tactics for capture the flag, which was going to take place after dinner.
We tried to be optimistic, but the last three losses weighed heavy on our shoulders. While discussing different strategies, we went further into the woods until we landed in front of Zeus’s fist.
“The Ares kids aren’t too good at climbing…we could try and put the flag on top of the fist?” Y/N didn’t seem too convinced about her own suggestion. “Is that even allowed?” A chuckled left Y/N’s mouth and she shook her head. “What is it with you and following rules today?”
Not waiting for an answer, she turned her back on me and pulled herself onto the formation of rocks. With a sigh, I followed her. “What are we doing up here?” She flopped down onto the stone and patted the space next to her. I sat down next to her.
“Luke?” 
“Hmm?”
“Let’s skip the games today, okay?” I thought for a second…we would get in trouble with Chiron for sure, but did that really matter? “Fine.”
She grinned at me and quickly pecked my lips. She pulled away, but my hands quickly pulled her face back to mine and I deepened the kiss. Both of our lips pulled into smiles, and we continued to make out on top of Zeus’s fist.
I soon started to lean into her, causing her to lean back, but before her back could hit the stone, a horn sounded through the air. It was time for dinner.
We ate as quickly as we could without pulling any attention towards us and as soon as we were done, we made our way out of the pavilion and towards the armory. Of course, that wasn’t where we were planning on going, but we had to keep up appearances.
As soon as we were out of sight of the other demigods, we instead made our way back towards the Hermes cabin. We hid until we were sure that the games had started, and no one would come looking for us.
Y/N had the idea to sneak into the Big House until the games were over. Mr. D was at a council of the gods and wouldn’t be back for a few days, so we just entered through the main entrance.
I knew where Chiron kept his CD player and CD collection, so I quickly gathered both and met Y/N back in the room with the table tennis table, which Y/N had already moved to the side.
It’s become a routine a few weeks back, to sneak into the Big House and dance to some of Chiron’s music. It only started after Y/N told me that she’d always dreamt of dancing at a big ball in a beautiful gown. So, to fulfill at least a little bit of that dream we’d been dancing at least once a week.
Once again, we were twirling through the room, laughter spilling from Y/N’s mouth, while I just basked in her beauty. The whole world could’ve ended in that moment and I wouldn’t have noticed. 
Which also explained that I didn’t hear the screams for help, until Y/N asked me to tune down the music. “What’s that?” I was confused, but Y/N just grabbed my hand and pulled me outside.
There, on the hill, we could see two figures, one more or less carrying the other, running towards us.
“Is…Is that Grover?”
“There you two are!” We both jumped at the sudden voice and turned around to see Annabeth behind us. “We were wonder-…” By then, she had also noticed the two figures, which had reached us by now.
“Help me.” After those words left the young boy’s mouth, he collapsed. Y/N and Annabeth immediately jumped into action to help the stranger and Grover, but I couldn’t move. Not while hearing his voice in my head.
This is the demigod I told you about.
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strayen-fx ¡ 3 years ago
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Red.
》 HHJ x reader
》 angst, vampirish theme
》 warnings: mentions of blood, hints of physical assault
》 2.1k words
》 a/n: short and simple, after months of writing break. Hope you guys enjoy regardless :)
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“Stay away from them, my dear. Save your blood from the horrors of their fangs. Be wary of solitude, and be wary of the crowd.”
It was a day not unlike any other. My morning kicked off lazily, with me waking up almost an hour later than a college freshman was supposed to. Nothing unusual there. I did my usual morning prep, took a cup of grandma’s tea in one gulp, and went my way. I was already late for the train—I had to run after a departing bus with an exceptional speed that would put Olympiads to shame. I got in the room just in time as the bell rang for first period. I came in huffing like an old man, but it’s alright. Way better than walking through the early jam-packed hallways.
The first aberration in my daily humdrum existence happened on my way to fourth period. A student from another department stopped me on my tracks. I knew him; he was a member of the student council. Was I in some sort of trouble?
He introduced himself as Han Jisung, then proceeded to ask if I have seen his friend.
“He’s tall,” Jisung explained. “But like, not super tall. Not the towering-over-people kind. He has a mole under his eye. He’s got black—no wait, I think he dyed his hair again the other day. Anyway, have you seen someone like him? He’s noticeably handsome. I guess. I’m more handsome, though, but you know what I mean.”
The whole school would know who he is talking about. The one and only Hwang Hyunjin: champion swimmer, council member, and just a general talk of the town. The Prince. Even if I did see him around, though, I wouldn’t know. I never pay attention to the people I walk by.
I shook my head and muttered a soft sorry. I did feel bad for Jisung. He looked so worried and dejected, and I can’t blame him—not after after the incident with Seungmin. I can’t really take it against him to worry about his friends. I sauntered off to my next class, my mind still stuck on the fact that a normal person in my school has actually talked to me, and I was able to keep my composure.
Fifth period: P.E. I don’t even know why we still have this subject in college. I opted to take a stroll instead. You see, a huge, dense forest is situated right behind the main school grounds. You could say that the school itself lies within the bosom of greeneries. Unkempt bushes and rows of towering trees stretched over several miles deep, starting from the edge of the campus to god-knows-where. It is my goal to scout the whole area before graduation.
Weighed down by my personal monstrous beast, I trudged through. I walked for at least fifteen minutes before I finally reached the spot—my spot. Sheet of decaying leaves cushioned a huge gray boulder, standing at least ten feet tall, shaped like an odd piece of egg smashed against the forest floor. Against it stood a larger stone, this one dotted with moss and weathered with cracks. They were propped against each other for support, as if stopping one another from tumbling to the ground.
There was a smaller rock at the foot of the smaller stone, and I use it as leverage to climb up and sit on top of the largest boulder. It was my favorite place. Most times I could just pretend that I was alone in my own tiny bubble, at the center of that clearing that nobody else ventures but me. I don’t feel the breath of people suffocating me with every step that I take. I don’t feel my heart thumping with the sight of anyone else. I don’t need to hold back. Here, I don’t feel weird.
But today felt somehow different.
It was awfully silent. The wind felt sharper and colder. Electricity was humming in the air, leaving my skin prickling with discomfort. There was a tension in my veins that I couldn’t quite explain—it felt like an omen of an incoming disaster.
Time ticked slow. A couple hours could have passed—or maybe it has only been five minutes—when a nearby rustling perked up my senses.
Trying to keep my movements as quiet as possible, I hopped down and took up a defensive position, which wasn’t easy to do for a student with no actual weapon aside from an almost-empty bag and a worn-out calligraphy pen. My instincts told me to take cover—but my feet seemed glued to the ground. Sweat trickled from my forehead. My hands started to feel clammy.
And then, just as I was about to scamper away, a figure crashed into view from behind the nearest oak tree. I almost threw my bag towards the person’s direction, until I had a clear view of the intruder’s face.
It was Hwang Hyunjin, wide-eyed and disoriented, with his cheeks and uniform smudged with traces of blood.
“Help me.”
His voice came out as a tiny croak, as if his throat was filled with acid. He stumbled towards me, reaching out his hand for support. I wasn’t able to move an inch—and who could blame me? The situation was way too hard to process.
Hwang Hyunjin, the university prince, was hunched huffing before me, his clothes caked with mud and dried blood, his hair a nest of mess on his head. He had a cut on his cheek, I noticed. His breathing was heavy and labored, as if the mere act of standing on his own two feet required all the effort he could muster.
“Help me,” he repeated.
“What happened to you?” I managed to blurt out. My initial thought was that some random outsiders kicked his butt for stealing their girlfriends. But no—someone like Hyunjin would have been able to handle that. Plus, something in his eyes showed an elaborate fear—something only a beast would be capable of instilling. I should know.
My heart began thumping faster, a colossal drum barreling in my chest.
Just as my schoolmate was about to open his mouth and explain, a loud rustling broke the stillness of the air. Before I could process what was happening, Hyunjin grabbed my hand and bolted away, dragging me with him.
“Don’t look back!” he warned.
I did.
At least a dozen feet behind us was another male, probably as old as Hyunjin. He was sporting our school uniform, walking casually under the shades of trees as if time wasn’t of any matter. What puzzled me, though, was the fact that we can’t seem to distance ourselves from him despite the heavy efforts Hyunjin had been exerting to drag us both away from this newcomer.
I took another glance behind me, and to my surprise, the young man wasn’t there anymore. Nowhere behind us, as if he dissipated without a single trace.
Hyunjin took a sudden stop, causing me to bump my head against his back. I was about to call him out for stopping, but then I saw the looming figure a few meters in front of us.
“You…?” I began, my mind a juggle of unanswered questions. How on earth did that happen? How is he—
Hyunjin's friend, Kim Seungmin, stood before us in his dirty school uniform. He looked pale, his eyes bloodshot, but he was standing there in full grace, very much alive, giving us a toothy grin. “You’re hurting my feelings, Hyun. Why are you running away from me?”
Hyunjin’s grip on my hand went tighter. “Seungmin...”
“Friends are supposed to help each other, am I right?” Seungmin continued, faux dismay dripping in his voice. He bared his fangs, its tips dripping with fresh blood. “So help me, Hyunjin.”
I felt my body run cold. I wanted to scream, run, anything—anything to get away from this. From him. From the two of them. From everything. But Hyunjin's hand remained strong around my wrist, and my legs were close to turning jelly. I could start to feel the fullness in my mouth, the pointy ends of my incisors. Something that only happens when I'm in an extreme hunger or danger.
“Stay away from them,” grandma said. “We are the same kind, but we are different. Weaker. They see us as preys, as special commodities. They can smell your blood despite my concoctions, my dear, remember this!”
Seungmin tilted his head to one side, finally regarding my presence. “And you, over there. I’ve never tried drinking such special blood.” He grinned. “Satiate my thirst.”
The last thing I knew, a strong hand was pressing tightly around my neck, turning my vision green.
°°°°°°°°°°°°°
“Have you heard of the news?”
“What news?”
“Kim Seungmin was safe! They found him in the forest yesterday.”
“Thank goodness! Was he hurt?”
“He had a few gashes, but he’s fine. Hyunjin found him and brought him to the hospital right away.”
Students filled the corridor, everyone bustling and hustling about the news: after his sudden disappearance, Seungmin was finally found by his best friend, Hyunjin. The latter saw him in the forest, hungry and disoriented. They went straight to the hospital to treat his minor wounds, and that was that—nobody bothered to ask how he managed to lose himself in the wilderness, or how we managed to survive seven days on his own. Nobody asked him stupid and unnecessary questions. Seungmin was safe, and that was all that mattered.
I brushed my way past the milling crowd, flinching at every accidental touch. I kept my eyes on the ground, forcing my mind into silence. I was expecting everyone to be in their respective classrooms at this time of the day, but apparently, the news of Seungmin’s return has become enough reason for everyone to wander about and neglect their individual duties. It was a grand miscalculation on my part—I hadn’t braced myself for this huge number of people.
Not here. Not now. Not ever.
I just have to get back home, and then it’ll be over. My insides would stop churning once I’ve drunk grandma’s tea—that has worked for 18 years now. I can stop this. I can stop me.
I made a run towards the comfort room. To my luck, nobody was inside. I washed my face over and over, as if doing so would cleanse me from the impurity stamped on every drop of my blood. The face on the mirror horrified me—I had to stop myself from punching the glass over and over.
The moment I stepped out, I felt his presence.
He was there, leaning against the wall, lurking behind the shadows. There was a faint gleam of terror in his eyes, but at the same time, I can feel it: the hunger. Lust for meat. Thirst for blood.
“Don’t be like him, Hyunjin,” I pleaded. “Don’t be like us.”
He shook his head in resignation. “It’s too late.”
He took a step closer. Another. He kept on walking until he stood right in front of me, too close I can feel him breathe.
Too close I can see the faint traces of blood on his lips.
“I’m still hungry,” he sobbed. “I’m still hungry…”
Fear was apparent in his eyes—fear of what would happen to him, fear of what he had become. “You will be fine,” I offered, taking his hand in mine. “Trust me on this. It will be fine.”
And then I felt it, stronger this time—the hunger he was talking about. The thirst. My stomach growled in protest at the sight of Hyunjin’s pale flesh. I can smell his blood—I can feel its steady rhythm as it flowed through his pulsing veins.
I need to get home. Maybe my grandma could do something about Hyunjin, too. Maybe she could produce a stronger tea, and both of us wouldn’t have to worry about our instincts anymore.
We stood next to each other for a full minute before he broke the silence.
“We need each other to survive,” Hyunjin whispered. “If we drink the blood of our own kind, we can last for a month without feeding on others.” He freed his hand from my hold and gripped my shoulders tightly. “I need you. And you need me, too.”Hyunjin leaned down until we were staring at each other at eye level. He closed the distance between us. I closed my eyes, and for the first time, I allowed my monster to take ove.
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babyboibucky ¡ 4 years ago
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Undeserving (Deserve Better Part 2)
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: You confront Bucky about his decision to abandon you.
Word Count: 2,868
Warnings: More angst lmao I’m sorry for this
A/N: Honestly struggled with this because 1) I couldn’t decide on how to end it and 2) I was pressured from the feedback I got from Deserve Better. I’m not entirely happy with how this came out and initially, I planned on doing an epilogue for those who’d prefer a different ending but decided against it. Anyway, if you guys have more questions about this, send me an ask! I’d love to discuss more about this lol luv u all as always. Feedbacks are highly appreciated and I hope this was good enough for y’all who enjoyed Deserve Better xoxo
Deserve Better || Undeserving || Deserve The Best
MAIN MASTERLIST
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You chose to stay.
Despite seeing the love of your life— whom you had waited for years— in the arms of another, you stayed at the gala. It was after all, to honor Steve’s legacy and you respected him enough not to walk away and miss out on the speeches given by people dearest to him, Bucky included of course.
You weren’t sure if he had seen you and the way your eyes brimmed with tears when everything finally made sense to you. He wasn’t far from you when you stopped in your tracks, mouth parting as a soft whimper escaped past your lips.
You had never imagined that heartbreak could be so physically painful. And it wasn’t the regular pain you’d feel after an intense workout or when you scraped your knee. The hurt was different, like your heart was being tightly squeezed into someone else’s palm. It was choking you, constricting you of oxygen as if you were drowning. No matter how much you tried to reach the surface, the pain just kept on pulling you down until there was nothing but darkness and well, pain.
Once the program was over and all the guests were left to mingle, you carefully slipped out of the crowd. Mindlessly, you walked and walked and walked until your feet began to hurt from the heels you were wearing. When the cold and crisp air of the evening embraced you, it was then that you realized that you reached the compound’s garden, just behind the main hall where the gala was happening.
The quiet gave you time to think and process everything that had happened. Bucky left to find himself and to become better, that he did. And you waited only to discover that he’d been back for quite a while now but chose to be with another.
As you looked out in front of you, your vision turned blurry as a new wave of tears escaped your eyes. Your grief had resurfaced after repressing it for so, so long. Grief from Bucky’s goodbye, from his absence and from waiting, grief from seeing him with someone else; no matter the cause, all in all it was grief nonetheless.
Bucky’s soft voice calling your name echoed in the evening air, it was so soft that you almost thought that you were hallucinating. But then he’d called you again, using the pet name that used to make your stomach flip and your heart to flutter. It still had the same effect now, you realized, only that it came along with an immense amount of pain that made your blood boil.
Hearing Bucky call you that, it almost felt like poison. It was quiet, gentle even but it left a bitter taste in your mouth as you felt its venom run through your veins until you could no longer feel anything but pain.
“Doll—“
“Don’t.” you seethed and turned around, pointing a shaky finger right at Bucky. “Don’t call me that when you’re with someone else, James.”
Bucky flinched at the way you had addressed him. You saw how his face faltered upon seeing you like this. His vibranium arm was restless against his side, as if he wanted to reach out to you but knew better than to do so.
“I waited for you!” you spat.
If he found somebody else to become better for, he could at least let you know. But he didn’t and you needed to know why he chose to abandon you. You needed it so badly, for your own peace of mind. For closure. You deserved that, at least.
“I’m sorry, I—“
“No, you don’t get to say your side until I’m done with mine!” you insisted. “I have every right to be selfish right now. I can choose to lash out on you or refuse to even listen to whatever your reason is for abandoning me no matter how valid it is. I fucking deserve that, Bucky.”
Bucky closed his mouth and nodded; you hated how he was staring at you as if he just lost his moonlight, as if he still loved you. If he did, you wouldn’t be confronting him like this and you wouldn’t have seen him with someone else.
“When Steve told me that you disappeared, when it felt like there was no way to bring everyone back, I waited. It didn’t feel right for me to move on from you just like that and deep inside I knew that you were going to return. Five years, Buck. I waited five years for nothing.” you said quietly, recalling how devastating those five years were.
You didn’t know what would happen then, nobody knew. Would they still come back? The chances were slim and yet you trusted your gut and decided to remain hopeful. It wasn’t easy to wait for something or someone that may never come back. But you still did and it never even crossed your mind that you may just be wasting your time.
You let out a breathy chuckle, “And then you came back and I felt alive again. But then you said goodbye.” you pursed your lips in an attempt to hold back your tears but to no avail.
It took you a while to collect yourself and Bucky let you, until you spoke again and told him how much it destroyed you when he walked away from you.
“Everyone else told me that I shouldn’t wait. Not again after those five years. But it felt easier this time around because you told me you wanted to get better. For me. And I was excited, Bucky.” you told him with a chuckle. “I was excited to see your return. I looked forward to how we’d spend our time together when you come back, if you’d cut your hair. If you’d wear the same cologne that I loved.”
A smile tugged at your lips as you recalled those times you daydreamed about Bucky’s return. The wait was agonizing but it gave you something to look forward to. At least you weren’t waiting for nothing anymore. Bucky was leaving but only temporarily, you were sure he’d come back. But the smile vanished as soon as it appeared and before you knew it, you were sobbing again.
“And now you’re back and so much better. But you aren’t mine anymore.”
At this point, your grief had consumed you both physically and mentally. You knees wobbled but you didn’t hit the ground, no. Instead, there was warmth against your skin followed by the smell of a certain cologne, enveloping the air around you. Bucky caught you in his arms and he held you tight as you cried into him.
“Shh, doll. I’m here now.” he whispered before pressing a kiss onto your crown.
As much as it felt right to be in Bucky’s embrace, it wasn’t enough to overcome the betrayal he did. You groaned in frustration and pushed him away, stepping back and hugging yourself instead.
“Why?” you asked quietly.
“I need to know why and how we came to this.” you asked, almost begged for Bucky to give you the closure you badly needed.
Bucky ran a hand through his hair as he paced before you, his cheeks stained with his own tears. “I came back for you.” he said.
You frowned, “When?”
“I couldn’t wait to see you again and as soon as I got back, I went straight to your office. But then you weren’t working there anymore, I found out that you finally landed your dream job at the law firm.” he said with a small smile. “I was so proud when I heard that. I was supposed to go to your apartment but something came up and I needed to meet with Sam first. Weekend came and I was on my way to your place when I saw you. And you were with someone else and you looked....happier, the happiest I’d seen you.”
Something clicked and you quickly shook your head, “Andy. No, he’s not...we were never together. This is a misunderstanding, Bucky. He and I were never—“
“I know.” Bucky admitted.
“What?” You asked, voice soft from utter confusion.
“You looked happy with him, not because of him. I know you weren’t in love with him because if you were, you would have looked at him the same way you’re looking at me now.” He explained sadly.
Hearing Bucky’s explanation made you angrier. If he knew that, then why did he still leave? What reason could be bigger than that to make Bucky wake up one day and decide that he no longer wants to come back to you?
If he knew you loved him so much to actually wait, why did he leave you like that?
Your brows creased, “If that’s not the reason, then what?”
Bucky shrugged, “I realized that you didn’t deserve me. I left to better myself for you, god I really did. But when I saw you and how you managed to be successful without me by your side, I figured that you were better off without me. I thought I got better, but seeing you again looking so beautiful, happy and just...maybe I’ll never be the right one for you.”
You bitterly chuckled at Bucky’s revelation, “This doesn’t make any sense to me, Bucky. You chose to abandon me because you thought I was happier without you?”
You felt offended that Bucky even thought of that. Did he not trust you when you told him you’d wait for him? He didn’t even show up to tell you that, to give you the chance to reassure him how much you love him. He just decided that it was better for him to leave you hanging?
“That’s bullshit, Bucky.” you spat. “You left me hanging because you thought you were weighing me down and the next time I see you, you’re with Sharon now. Who by the way, used to date your best friend. I don’t understand any of this.” you told him.
Bucky looked at the ground as he evened out his breathing. There were a few seconds of silence between the two of you. Only heavy breaths and the distant sound of the music from the gala lingered in the air. It was almost comforting. Almost.
“Sharon and I...it wasn’t easy for us when Steve left. It was something that we both had in common. We wanted to fix ourselves and in the process we just...it happened. I didn’t mean for it but it just happened.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
The pain was replaced with grief and then anger. A little sympathy was thrown in the mix too upon hearing Bucky’s reason but now you were back to square one. Pain.
“You worried for her when Steve left but didn’t worry about me when you chose to leave me hanging? You told me you needed to fix yourself alone because you didn’t want to hurt me in the process of doing so. Guess what, Bucky? You hurt me all the same. Even more so when you chose to stay for Sharon and when you allowed her to help you fix yourself.”
Bucky remained silent as he simply gazed at you and let you say your piece. You just couldn’t understand where he truly was coming from. You knew about his insecurities and you accepted each one of them. You’d wholeheartedly accepted Bucky from the moment you knew you loved him, that included his flaws and demons, even on days he hated himself.
“Don’t shut me out like that again, please?” You asked Bucky, when he finally let you inside his room after isolating himself for days.
He had those days, when he couldn’t bring himself to come out and just...live. He’d push people away and torture himself with negative thoughts. But you always stayed no matter what.
“‘m sorry doll, I just...sometimes...I love you so much but sometimes I feel like I don’t have enough of it to actually show you. And you don’t deserve that.” He explained.
You smiled and cupped his cheek, “That’s okay, Bucky. I love you and the amount of love I have for you is more than enough for both of us.”
Was your love not enough for him all along? For him not to consider how you would feel if he just decided not to come home to you anymore? You shouldn’t be blaming yourself for everything, you did your part. But you couldn’t help but wonder whether it was because of you that Bucky chose to walk away.
“I love you, I really do. And you deserve the best and I’m not...that. I chose to let you go so you can have that.”
“I don’t need the best version of you, Bucky!” You quickly cut him off. “I just need you.” You added.
When Bucky decided to leave to get better, you let him even though you hated to see him walk away. You’d be selfish not to, especially when Bucky was finally free to decide things for himself. It was for the best, but honestly speaking, you didn’t want a better version of him.
Whether it was the Winter Soldier or James Buchanan Barnes, whatever version of him he’d give to you, you love Bucky all the same.
You love Bucky so much that it was so painful for you to hear that he actually thought you’d be happier without him.
“You don’t deserve someone as damaged as me. Even if I got better, I’m still struggling and I don’t want to make things hard for you.” Bucky said.
“And you don’t get to decide what you think I deserve! You don’t get to abandon me like I was nothing, like we were nothing to you.” You seethed.
Bucky looked away, blinking his tears away as he tried to compose himself. His jaw tensed as he looked at you with an apologetic gaze.
“You shouldn’t have waited for me. You didn’t have to.” He said the same thing to you when he left, and it hurt just as much.
“I love you. I’ll wait, Bucky.” You murmured and tugged at his hand before he could even let you go.
Bucky smiled sadly at you, “You don’t have to, doll.”
You shook your head and brought Bucky’s hand to your lips as you cried, “I want to. And I will.”
“I know. But in all those years you were gone, I woke up each day and chose to wait for you. I always chose you, Bucky.” You said with a sad smile.
You stumbled a bit and lifted your dress enough to reveal your bleeding foot. You’d walked that long, for your feet to get wounded and ironically, you couldn’t feel anything but the pain of seeing Bucky again. He tried to approach you and help you out but you waved a hand and kept him at an arm’s length away from you. You removed your shoes and straightened up, looking at Bucky and his ocean blue eyes for one last time.
“I’m sorry if you felt like you weren’t enough. You’re more than enough for me, Bucky. I really thought that I could love and fight for the both of us, but I guess not.”
Bucky didn’t say anything else, and you hoped he would. It might have been pathetic of you to wish that he’d come back to you, but you really hoped he would say something to fight for you. He didn’t and that was enough for you to make a decision.
“Goodbye, Bucky.”
You bit your lower lip as you turned around, holding back your tears as you jogged back into the gala. You walked past everyone in the crowd in a hurry, wanting to head home as quickly as possible. And then you came face to face with someone you weren’t prepared to confront.
It’s as if time stopped when you saw her, Sharon. She must have found out about your presence. Did she know of Bucky’s decision to abandon you? You wondered how she helped Bucky better himself, why he let her stay as he fixed himself.
Why Bucky chose to be with her instead of coming home to you.
You could feel your chest constrict again, the pain continuing to consume you whole. If you stayed any longer, you were afraid you might break.
“Do you love him?” You asked her softly.
Without missing a beat, Sharon nodded her head. “I do.” She whispered.
“How much?” You asked again.
“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him.” Sharon responded and you could feel the sincerity in her statement.
The way she said it wasn’t meant to hurt you nor mock you. It was reassuring, in fact. Like she was making you a promise that she was going to take good care of Bucky the same way you did. Maybe even more. You swallowed as you nodded, forcing a small smile before looking away to wipe a tear that slipped.
“That’s good.” You simply said. “Because I’d do anything for him too.”
Anything. Even if that meant walking away and giving up on a battle that you’d already lost the moment Bucky decided to abandon you.
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lacontroller1991 ¡ 3 years ago
Text
Support System (Ed Baldwin x F!Reader)
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For my friend <3
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Warnings: mention of death, blood
The moment your face falls with your hand dropping the phone, Ed knows something is wrong. You're normally cool and collected, trying to be the support system for Gordo, for Danielle, for even Ed, which is why it gathers his attention the moment you tense up. Your breathing hitches in your throat while your eyes gloss over with unshed tears.
Ed quickly rushes over, taking the phone out of your hand and replacing it on the wall before guiding you over to the couch in your shared home. Never in 10 years has he seen you bottle yourself up to the point where he can't even reach past the exterior you put up.
"Honey, please tell me what's wrong? What's going on?" His large hand runs up and down your back, trying to soothe you out of your state of shock. Slowly, your body begins to loosen up as you fall back into his frame, trying not to cry.
"My mom, she fell and is in surgery." Ed's jaw clenches as he turns away, thinking of what to do. Despite being a highly trained pilot and astronaut, nothing could have prepared him for your words. After a minute of thinking, Ed gets up and grabs your jacket and his before coming back over to the couch and collecting you in his strong arms. "Ed?"
"We're going to the hospital."
"Ed, we can't. We have work in a little."
"Yeah, it can wait. Come on baby."
The hospital waiting room is cold, just like your posture. Doctors and nurses run past you as the speakers blare different codes and calls. Ed sits next to you, his elbow on his knee and his face on his palm as his hazel eyes watch you, expecting you to make a move. You don't.
Suddenly a doctor appears out of the mass chaos. His hair is disarrayed and there's flecks of blood on his scrubs. You try your best to ignore it. "Mrs. Baldwin?"
You let a shaky breath leave your body as you brush the hair out of your face, trying to appear collected despite the fact that you're falling apart on the inside. "Yes, that's me. How is she?"
"It's best if you and Mr. Baldwin follow me," his tone is sober, a heaviness weighing down his face and you know what he needs to say. Nodding your head, you and Ed stand up together, your hand reaching out and interlocking fingers with his as he squeezes back in a silent support. You follow the doctor into a smaller room and he takes a seat with a sigh. Ed follows example first, taking a seat before pulling you down into the chair next to him. "Mrs. Walls came in today with a compound fracture in her left leg. We were able to repair the bone itself, but the bone severed the femoral artery beyond repair and despite our best efforts, Mrs. Walls bled out on the table. We did everything we could. I'm very sorry for your loss."
The room is silent, not a noise was heard besides your deep breaths. "Would you like to see her?" Ed looks up at the doctor before looking back to you.
"Can you give us a moment?"
"Of course," the doctor makes haste exiting the room as the door shuts with a soft click, leaving you and Ed alone.
"Honey?" His arm wraps around your shoulders as his other hand holds onto yours, trying to give you the support without suffocating you. "What can I do?"
"She's gone, Eddy. Just like that, she's gone." Your voice is quiet and broken as tears water around your eyes. You turn to look at your husband, "she's dead."
He nods slowly, not really sure what to say. He had lost his own father during Korea and he wasn't home for the funeral. So he isn't sure how to handle a death within this close of a proximity. "I'm sorry, baby girl. How can I help you?"
Your lip quivers as you try to hold back the tears. But one quick look into his concerned eyes has all resolve breaking down. "Hold me?"
Ed quickly scoots over, taking you onto his lap as you break down into his shoulder, your body shaking as the tears you've been trying to hold back finally escape and fall onto his jacket. Ed wraps his strong arms around you and holds you flush against his chest, rocking your body with his as he tries to comfort you. "She's gone and I wasn't able to help her." Your sobs break Ed's heart as tears of his own prickle the corner of his eyes. Your mom had been as much of a mother to him as his own mom was and a kinder soul. Ed can't imagine what you're going through.
"It's okay, honey. It's gonna be okay. Just breathe. Breathe in and out," he takes exaggerated breaths, his chest puffing out and caving in as you struggle to breathe in tandem. After a couple of minutes, the tears finally subside. Pulling back, you look at Ed whose hand reaches up and brushes the trails of tears away. "I hope you know that she loves you very much and is in a better place now."
"I just wish I could've said goodbye," you mumble, wiping your face with the back of your hands as Ed holds you close to him.
"You still can, hun. Why don't we go say goodbye and then go home and get some rest? How does that sound?" You nod your head as you sniffle. Ed stands up and places you on your feet, his hands not leaving your body as he heads toward the door.
"Eddy?"
"Yeah sweetheart?"
"Thank you for being here for me," Ed smiles softly at you as he pulls you back into his arms and presses a kiss to the crown of your head.
"It's gonna be okay baby. You're gonna be okay."
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frogtanii ¡ 4 years ago
Text
WRITTEN BIT BABEY :)
you leave the room with a heavy weight sitting on your heart that is only amplified by the serious look on kenma’s face. you ignore it in favor of turning on the tv and going to disney+, queuing up the original mulan knowing how into the story hinata would get. still refusing to face your friend, you move to the kitchen digging around the cabinets to find snacks.
“yn,” the sound of your name jolts you out of your focus even though you were expecting it. “can we please talk?”
it feels like the air has been sucked out of the room, the only thing remaining being a heavy blanket of tension draping over the two of you. when you chance a look at kenma, you’re taken aback by the unreadable look on his face--it's overwhelming and you have to take a step back.
you turn away from him, unable to look for long without your mind racing and heart clenching with unknown guilt. a hand gently touches your shoulder, the feeling sending a shock of discomfort down your spine.
"we need to talk about kuroo," kenma starts, his golden eyes desperately searching for your own but you refuse to make eye contact, too afraid of what his expression might hold. when you don't move to face him, kenma sighs and moves somewhere behind you. the sound of a barstool scraping against the tiled floors alerts you that he's probably sitting down which signals a long and emotion-packed conversation.
"he texted me today." the relatively innocent statement is weighed down by the many implications behind it. your mind begins to race--what could that even mean? did he talk about you? your childhood? what he had done to you and more importantly, why? "what did you guys talk about?" the question is out of your mouth before you can stop it, desperation creeping into the edges of your voice.
you finally, finally, shift to face him, mentally steeling yourself for the upbringing of things you'd much rather forget.
"he's playing with you yn. you know it, i know it, he knows it. you need to separate yourself from him," kenma says, his voice monotone and soft. "i-i love you, you know that right?" you nod but remain tight-lipped, allowing your best friend to finish his piece.
"i know you think he's changed but some people never do. i just- i wouldn't be able to live with myself if i didn't say anything and let him hurt you like before." he lets out a deep breath and runs his hands through his almost entirely brown hair. something glints under the soft kitchen lights and you recognize it as the bracelet you'd bought him back in your first year of high school. you smile to yourself, not noticing the look of admiration in his eyes and the soft smile gracing his lips.
the sound of a door opening startles the both of you from your silent reverie, your eyes trailing to the hallway where hinata stands bundled up in four blankets and looking absolutely miserable. "oh shō," you whisper, his puffy eyes already welling up with tears.
kenma moves faster than you, kindly (well as kind as kenma can be) moving the hinata burrito to the couch with you following closely behind. you plop yourself down right next to the redhead, his body coming to rest in your lap. you can't help but lean down and press a kiss to his forehead, running your fingers through his orange locks.
"w-what were y-you guys talking a-about?" shōyō asks, his voice watery and thick with tears. you shake your head at his question, not wanting to bog him down with depressing tales about one of his friends. "nothing baby, nothing. how are you feeling? do you need anything? water, snacks?" your fingers never leave his head, even when he turns to look at you frustratedly, his cheeks puffing in annoyance.
"i want you to tell me what you guys were talking about," he orders, fumbling his body burrito until he's sitting upright between you and kenma. "i'm not a baby, y'know."
kenma barks out a laugh, leaning over to ruffle hinata's hair. "says the one who's been crying all day," hinata giggles at the contact before kenma adds, "baby." you grin as hinata tries to force a pout on his face but it doesn't work, a small smile worming its way there instead.
"we can talk about it later, hm?" you say as you stand before moving to the kitchen to get snacks. hinata nods and snuggles into kenma's arms while mulan begins to play in the background. you're quick to join them, handing a bag of chips to kenma while shō presses a kiss to your cheek before settling in to watch the movie.
------
turns out the later was much later--you'd gotten through all of mulan, frozen one and two, and half of moana before hinata tried to bring kuroo up again.
"shō, you really don't want to hear about it," you groan while cleaning up the kitchen, carefully evading hinata as he follows close behind. "but you promised," he whines, finally grabbing hold of you and resting his head on your shoulder. kenma pops his head from around the corner with a mouthful of pocky's and shakes his head before speaking up. "you should tell him--he deserves to know why you transfered to karasuno in our third year."
you roll your eyes before bopping hinata on the forehead, sending him to the ground with a moan. "fine but if i'm going to be forced to relive the hell that was my high school years, i'm gonna do it over text." with that, you playfully stomp back over to the couch, bringing out your phone and lying down, determined to get this conversation over with as fast as possible.
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Š promiscuous boy ;)
storytime!!
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an: holy shit this took me FOREVER AND IT SUCKS ASS IM SO SORRY this is not how i wanted this explanation to go but my writing juice dissipated i am so sorry 😞 don’t worry abt feeding me idk if i wanna hear it for this trash LMAO
EDIT: I REDID IT SO KUROO IS LESS EVIL PLS DISREGARD EVERYTHING YOU MIGHT HAVE READ EARLIER GOMEN
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spencersstrawberryjello ¡ 3 years ago
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Supposed to be Sleeping (Spencer Reid x gn!reader)
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Summary: SPOILERS FOR SEASON TWO Hotch sends you and Spencer to the hotel with explicit instructions to get some sleep and come back to the local police station in the morning. You can’t sleep, however, and you two get to talking about why the case bothers you so much.
Content: Hurt/Comfort
Warnings: Allusions to Spencer’s abduction/torture by Tobias Hankel, disordered sleeping (not sure if that’s a trigger but better safe than sorry), nightmares, references to kidnapping
Word Count: 1385
A/N: This was originally posted as a one shot with a gender neutral main character (so using first person POV), but I went through and edited it so that it’s in second person, since no names or pronouns were ever explicitly mentioned. So if you read it before and are wondering why it looks a bit different, that’s why! :) 
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The only sounds in your ears were your pen scratching and Spencer’s soft snores as you read through the case file again in the dim light. You had the lamp on the lowest setting, occasionally scrawling down notes as a new idea came to mind. 
You yawned, rubbing your eyes to try and keep yourself awake as you pulled out your phone, quickly Googling the answer to a question related to the case before you set it back down again, returning your attention to the task in front of you. 
Technically, you were supposed to be sleeping. Hotch had sent you and Spencer to the hotel, knowing that you were running on almost two days without sleep and Spencer close to three. When you got there, he’d changed into sweatpants and a sweatshirt and collapsed; much to you surprise, given his addiction to coffee and his constant reluctance to go to sleep at all. 
Not that you could really judge him for that though, considering most of the BAU did the exact same thing. 
He’d pulled you into bed with him, but you laid awake, unable to quiet the thoughts racing through your mind. Finally, he’d fallen into a deep enough sleep that you could slip out of bed, pulling open your copy of the case file and your notes from the backpack you’d brought. His messenger bag had been abandoned by the door when you arrived, and you glanced over at it with a small grin before returning to your work.
As much as you tried to convince yourself you weren’t tired, there was no way you could ignore how heavy your eyes were getting as you blearily stared at the papers in front of you. You were weighing the pros and cons of sneaking downstairs to see if the hotel’s coffee station was still open when you heard a voice from across the small room. 
“Hey… what are you doing up?” Spencer’s voice was lower than normal, raspy even after only being asleep for about an hour. 
“Couldn’t sleep. Go back to bed baby, I’m just going over the case again,” You tried to brush him off, but he only became more awake.
“You’re not tired? You haven’t slept in, what, a day?”
“Two,” You corrected, “And no, I’m not -”
You tried to stifle it, but weren’t able to fight off the yawn that ambushed you in the middle of your sentence. He laughed softly, and you heard him climb out of the bed, coming over to wrap his arms around you from behind as you sat at the desk.
“You need to get some sleep.”
“I told you already, I couldn’t sleep. I’m not tired.”
“Your yawn said otherwise - would you like me to bore you to sleep with facts about the R.E.M. cycle? Or will you come willingly?”
“Spencer…” At this point you couldn’t lie to him. It wasn’t that you weren’t tired - you were about to fall asleep where you sat - it was that you couldn’t ignore the sick feeling in your gut every minute you spent not working on the case.
“You’re worried about the case, aren’t you?” He asked, practically reading your mind.
“It’s not even as much worry as it is - well, never mind. We don’t need to go dredging up -”
“The unsub reminds you of Tobias Hankel, doesn’t he?”
You were quiet for a moment, not really wanting to go down this line of conversation. You didn’t want to bring up old memories for him. But after you didn’t speak for a moment, he filled the silence. 
“Hey, you know I’m ok, right? It’s been a little bit over a year, I’ve gotten counseling - I can’t say I never think about what happened, but in the grand scheme of things, I’m ok. Just because the unsub has Dissociative Identity Disorder doesn’t mean one of us is going to be kidnapped.”
“I know that, Spence, I just… I just want to catch this guy so we can be done with it. So we can go home. So no one else gets hurt.”
“I know,” He kissed the top of your head in comfort, “But there’s nothing you’re going to be able to figure out tonight. We’re more likely to make progress if the both of us get some sleep and look at this with fresh eyes in a few hours.”
“Excuse me, Dr. ‘I only eat food so my coffee has something to land on throughout the day,’ you’ve got no room to talk to me about sleeping habits,” You offered in a sleepy rebuttal.
Another yawn basically killed your whole argument, though, and Spencer moved to grab one of your hands, pulling you up out of the chair like you were merely a puppet. 
“Come on, baby… we both need to sleep.” You didn’t have the energy to fight him anymore, and just let him gently take the case file from your hand, sitting it on the desk next to the notebook you’d been scrawling in. 
“There we go,” He guided you to the bed, helping you climb under the covers and pressing a soft kiss to your lips, “I love you so much, you know that?”
“I love you too, Spencer,” You replied, though it came out in a sleepy mumble that made him grin. He climbed into bed next to you, moving under the covers before putting his hand gently on your shoulder. 
“Can I hold you? I think it might help if you had something else to focus on so you wouldn’t worry so much about -”
He cut himself off as you rolled over, laying your head against his chest as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to him. He placed another soft kiss on your forehead, and you felt your eyes drift shut as you laid in the comforting warmth of his embrace. 
-------------------------------
You jolted awake in a cold sweat, hot tears running down your face. You must’ve been screaming in your sleep, because Spencer had sat up next to you, trying to get your attention as you scanned the dark room, your mind erratic. 
“Hey, hey, I’m right here - baby, I’m right here!” The sound of his voice grabbed your attention, and you turned towards it, struggling to focus on his face in the dimly lit hotel room.
“Spencer… holy shit…” The images from your nightmare replayed over and over again in your mind, and you reached out for him, desperate to feel him solidly in your arms. The minute you grabbed his arm, a choked sob slipped out of your mouth, and he pulled you into a hug. 
You clung desperately to his shirt as you cried, and he shushed you, whispering softly in your ear.
“Everything’s ok, I’m ok. I’m with you, I’m not going anywhere.”
He pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head again, one hand rubbing the bare skin of your arm and the other wrapped tightly around your back, holding you close. You laid like that for a moment before he spoke again, your sobbing reduced to soft cries as you attempted to force the nightmare out of your mind. 
“It was Hankel, wasn’t it?” He asked. You nodded, your head against his chest. “You woke up screaming my name.”
“I’m sorry,” Your voice was shaky as you sniffled, trying to steady your breathing, “You shouldn’t have to be comforting me after a nightmare about the trauma you went through. I just -”
“Stop that; you can’t feel bad for having a nightmare. I might’ve been the one who was being tortured, but you were still the one who spent two days searching for me, who wasn’t sure if the man you loved was ever going to come home. Hankel put us both through a lot, love.”
Just hearing him talk was already starting to calm you down, and you looked up at his face, smiling despite the tears staining your cheeks.
“God, I love you so much. More than words could ever say.” You put every ounce of sincerity you could into the words, sitting up to press a kiss to his lips, relishing in the fact that he was there, that he was ok. 
When you pulled away, he smiled, and everything was right with the world.
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