#sorry to be sad on main on grammy night

[this-love-is-delicate]

.

[tsrookie]

Alright, so today’s the three-year anniversary of Reputation a.k.a the greatest album of all time, my baby, the light of my life, the album that deserved a Grammy (trying desperately not to think about the scene from Miss Americana😭), the album that introduced us to the most beautiful couple ever, the album that shut Kimye up, and I better stop now, or else I’m not gonna shut up.

So in honour of this momentous occasion (and the fact that I reached 200+ followers! Thank you so much you guys!🥺 Love you all 3000💙), here’s a loooooong post on why Reputation is the Ethan and MC album.

1. ...Ready For It?

No one has to know

Throwback to MC saying the exact same words back in Miami.

In the middle of the night, in my dreams

You should see the things we do, baby, mmm

In the middle of the night, in my dreams

I know I'm gonna be with you

So I take my time

Remember back when MC asked for Ethan to get into bed right away during their first time? Ethan told them that he had dreamt about the moment for months, so he wasn’t going to rush it.

2. End Game

Big reputation, big reputation

Ooh you and me would be a big conversation

These two dating would be the talk of the hospital, and they know it.

Even when we'd argue, we don't do it for long

And you understand the good and bad, end up in the song

For all your beautiful traits, and the way you do it with ease

For all my flaws, paranoia, and insecurities

Think these lines are pretty self-explanatory😌

I hit you like bang

We tried to forget it, but we just couldn't

*gets war flashbacks of the ‘reset’ phase*😭 They tried to make it work, but we all know how Ch 8 of book 2 went😌

I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me

Perfect for our chaotic MC😌

3. Don’t Blame Me

Do I... really have to explain this one?

For you, I would cross the line

I would waste my time

I would lose my mind

They say she's gone too far this time

Do we need a recap of our rule-breaking MC?

And baby, for you, I would fall from grace

Just to touch your face

If you walk away

I'd beg you on my knees to stay

He was willing to risk his (mostly) rule-abiding reputation for being with MC. And there’s no way he wouldn’t beg for MC not to leave him if he ever screwed up🤷‍♀️

4. Delicate

This ain't for the best

My reputation's never been worse, so

You must like me for me

Ethan stood by MC’s side throughout the Ethics hearing, when her reputation was completely smeared, and people only saw her as a patient murderer. He didn’t know about the sabotages, but he would’ve definitely supported her if he had known.

We can't make

Any promises now, can we, babe?

Commitment-phobia🙃

Sometimes I wonder when you sleep

Are you ever dreaming of me?

Sometimes when I look into your eyes

I pretend you're mine, all the damn time

They spent so much of time apart, not able to be with each other, so the least they could do was dream of being with each other all the time.

5. So It Goes (an underrated af bop)

What can I say... it’s a sex song, okay? Don’t make me go into the details😂 Just listen to the lyrics, and all will be clear.

6. Gorgeous (Tumblr won’t let me put any more links)

MC’s eternal anthem to Ethan.

Whisky on ice, Sunset and Vine

You've ruined my life, by not being mine

We all know Ethan loves Whiskey, and the second line? C’mon!

You're so gorgeous

I can't say anything to your face

'Cause look at your face

And I'm so furious

At you for making me feel this way

But, what can I say?

You're gorgeous

Ethan Ramsey is famous for two reasons. One: his smart brain, I guess😒 Two: HIS LOOKS!!! HE’S GORGEOUS, AND DON’T DENY IT.

And you should think about the consequence

Of you touching my hand in the darkened room (dark room, dark room)

Ah, the olden days of hand holding in the diagnostics office🥺

Ocean blue eyes looking in mine

I feel like I might sink and drown and die

No explanation required.

You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah

There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have

You are so gorgeous it makes me so mad

The wonderful will-they-won’t-they saga. The frustrating hot-and-cold behaviour. The ‘We can’t’, ‘It’s unethical’ and ‘It’s complicated’. MC deserves an award for her patience😓

7. King Of My Heart

I'm perfectly fine, I live on my own

I made up on my mind, I'm better off bein' alone

Ethan ‘I don’t believe in soulmates and nobody’s waiting at home’ Ramsey.

And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for

King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa

And all at once, you are all I want, I'll never let you go

King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa

This could be from both Ethan and MC’s perspectives. The love they share isn’t something that you get easily. It’s something that MC has waited for her whole life, and something Ethan never knew he needed, but now can’t live without🥺

Late in the night, the city's asleep

Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep

Change my priorities

The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury

This was definitely Ethan throughout book 2, after he finally gave in. He let go of his previous rules and regulations, especially during the time of the attack. He was clearly affected, and once MC was alright, his main priority was her, and her alone.

Is the end of all the endings?

My broken bones are mending

With all these nights we're spending

Ethan’s been burnt a lot in the past. But all those wounds are now healing thanks to MC.

Up on the roof with a school girl crush

Drinking beer out of plastic cups

They act like lovesick teenagers around each other, like, that’s literally their description if you choose to kiss Ethan for the first time in Chapter 14 of book 2!😅

Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff

Baby, all at once, this is enough

We all know about his initial fear of his mother reaching out to him for the sake of his money. To him, MC not talking advantage of him is a pretty big deal, even though it’s never mentioned. You just know, you know?🥺

8. Dancing With Our Hands Tied

My, my love had been frozen

Deep blue, but you painted me golden

Again, Ethan doesn’t have the best experience with love. But MC changed that.

I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted

This could go both ways, cause they’re both piping hot messes�� (but love each other anyway🥺)

The rest of this song could have made so much more sense for them if we had gotten some sort of a secret relationship storyline. But oh well, I’m definitely not complaining about the gala😌 (and definitely not believing any of the supposed cancelled storylines)

9. Dress

Our secret moments

In a crowded room

They got no idea

About me and you

I mean... pretty obvious😌

Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me

And I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My one and only, my lifeline

This is practically Ethan’s train of thought, and you can’t convince me otherwise.

As for the rest of the steamier lyrics... I’ll um... let you guys listen to it yourselves😁

10. Call It What You Want

I wrote an entire fic inspired by this song, so excuse me for the shameless self-promo, but go give it a read?🥺👉👈(totally fine if you don’t! I’ve probably made so many posts about this song that y’all know the meaning anyway😅)

11. New Years Day

Don't read the last page

But I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you're turning away

I want your midnights

But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

MC has always stayed by Ethan’s side, even when he’s pushed her away. These lines perfectly explain how she wants his worst times, and his best, the midnights they spend staying up together, and the moments where it’s just the two of them, when everyone else has left, like the aftermath of a New Years party (still mad at the fact that we didn’t get to see the gang celebrate New Year together😭)

I'll be there if you're the toast of the town babe

Or if you strike out and you're crawling home

The above explanation for these lines as well.

Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

Becoming strangers to each other would be their worst nightmares. Knowing that the other was out there in the world somewhere, but not being in their lives would kill them.

You and me forevermore

These two are each other’s soulmate, they know it, even if they haven’t said it yet. Forever wouldn’t be enough for them to shower each other with they love they hold for each other. But it’s a good start.

——————————

If you guys made it this far, then I honestly love you more than words can ever express🥺💙 Thanks for putting up with my Swiftie-Directioner-Ethan stan ass, cause I dunno if I’d ever be able to handle someone like myself. And if you read all the above stuff, then I hope you wanna know why this album means so much to me.

Reputation is perceived as a dark album, when in reality it’s truly about finding love amongst all the noise. This album, and Taylor and Joe’s story, taught me what true love actually is, and Ethan and MC cemented that. This album and these two couples (quite literally) saved my life.

The most beautiful part about both these relationships is that even though they never showed it openly, for the sake of their relationships, both Ethan(in the story) and Joe stood by the side of the one’s they loved, despite half of the people who they knew hating on them, or betraying them. And I think that’s what’s truly important. Forming a true relationship like that, be it platonic or romantic, is long lasting, and I hope everyone finds those kind of people to fill their hearts with. Sending much love, and sorry for being a huge sap😅💙

Tagging a couple of my Swiftie homies: @swiftlydarcy @nikki-2406 @dxnicaramsey @kaavyaethanramsey @caseyvalentineramsey @drariellevalentine @justanotherrookie

[youareinlovees]

Hello! long ass rambling incoming, but bear w/ me I just need to let this out. To start, I was a big fan in early 2015 up until mid-2017 then I stopped (sorry tay, I'm not your strongest soldier 🥲). It wasn't until she starts doing promo again that I saw her in my timeline, and I thought oh wow, this is going to blow at any moment (2015-6 made us swiffers built different ik💀). But anyway, she returned with folklore evermore and subsequently reach a new level of success. For real, it's just so amazing to witness this arc. Seeing how ambitious she is--like you could make a tv series based on after Red losing that grammy to Folklore winning aoty, and you'll see the rollercoaster that is the 7 years of Taylor Swift life, it's just so crazy.

There's so many things I want to touch on, but mainly 1989 era. In the light of what we know she went through, I felt sick to my stomach. I struggle w/ ED too and we pretty much had the worst years of our lives together lmaoo. So, I feel her. I mean idk about her, but I always go out of my way to avoid looking at pics of myself from that period. I had mini ptsd flashback every time I was reminded of memories from my worst time. Let alone her having to sing songs she wrote and perform during that time for re-records 😰 it's really sad when you think about how she was the one that orchestrated the whole thing. I mean let's not kid ourselves--candids for like two years straight with your bffs + power couple publicity + striving for #1s and Grammies + her biggest tour yet + not eating + every single industry bitch tryna take you down? boy, I would have a mental breakdown every night.

Looking back, I almost felt complicit. I'm not gon lie, she did sold me first with her PR than she did with her music, so at least the overexposure worked. But man... it tells you everything you need to know how a perfectionist like Taylor works tbh. Obviously, she knows better now. But looking back, I wonder if she views that era as a necessity for her to reach where is now, or just simply as one of her messy mid-20s schticks (not saying it's trivial, but like "I know everything when i was young" yk?). Because how one of pop culture most well-executed era ended up in flames should be studied by sociologist moving forward 😩 like we know she was chasing 1989 commercial high with Lover. How it resulted in ME! should be a case for the fbi 💀 my theory is that she was surrounded by too many yes man (while big machine put her on a leash, they know what's up). Seeing her doc, while it’s cool seeing her sitting in the head table, not one of them dare or has the musical experience to tell her “Taylor wyd” Maybe her mom, but Taylor herself is her biggest hater, and her mom trusts her.

So, seeing that it took her a literal world-changing event to make folklore; in that she needs to make one pop album longer w/ Lover to arrive in Folklore—I was going through your tag; you said she was on a 'crisis' during Lover. Care to shed a light on what happened in season 7? I saw that one toe-curling tumblr post where she passive-aggressively drops a "💗" to that cupcake post about ME! being a disney song... it was bad that for ha? 💀

Okay so the masters situation was much more than just a business deal and having to rerecord. The issue wasn't Scott selling her masters, it was that he sold them to Scooter who managed Kanye in 2016 and helped orchestrate everything that happened, and that was the catalyst to a lot of dark stuff that she's alluded to in music + interviews. Like Scott was there from the very beginning and that would've been beyond painful, and the situation took her back to 2016 because of Scooter's involvement, and on top of that, there was also the Karlie betrayal.

Based on some of the decisions she made that era, I think she was also stressing about turning 30 and how her career would be affected. And if you read her interviews from back then, you can tell she was pretty anxious about doing press too.

Plus, we know her mom's cancer relapsed around that time (and I don't feel comfortable talking about it but her 2020 Variety interview mentioned specifics that were quickly taken out). Those are the main things I can think of, but she said in Nov 2019 that she had a difficult year and not all those things were made public, so there might be more.

[descendantofthesparrow]

Multipart Commission - Harry Hook x reader - Prince Behind the Pirate - part 15 - revenge

*mild cursing*

=

….a secret marriage huh? You glared down at the written document defining the arranged marriage between you and Jordan.

Leah wanted the main wedding to be secret as to not attract the attention of your parents or anyone who knew about you and Harry.

Then she had sent you a detailed letter about how you and Jordan would start dating and within the next two years, do the grand wedding in front of everyone.

And the secret wedding was in two.days.

You were still in a depression over breaking the news to Harry, which was only last night.

You groaned and face planted in your arms, mentally cursing Leah to hell. You replayed Harry's screams in your head, begging for you to come back.

God, this was going to be hard, and you had to keep up the act of “happy perfect princess” when the secret wedding came along to not arise suspicion about it.

You jumped as your phone buzzed, picking it up and glaring down at the screen. -we will go dress shopping tomorrow, be ready by 3:30- you let out a small huff of frustration and turned off your phone, chucking it on your bed, causing it to bounce off the mattress and clatter on the floor.

“go-fu-AHH!” you screamed, standing from your desk and throwing your chair to the ground, kicking your standing mirror down, punching and shattering a photo of you and your grandmother. “I HATE YOU” you let out a guttural scream, grabbing the photo and chucking it out the window.

You sighed through your teeth, rubbing your face as you calmed down, “fuuuuuuuu” you groaned, turning and sitting on your bed “how am I going to do this” you whispered to yourself.

=

Audrey stomped through her parent's castle, death grip on her phone, if her parents admitted to knowing Leah's plan she would hesitate to rip them a new one. She slammed open their office door, causing the two adults to jump from their desks.

“Audrey whats?” her mother started, her eyes widening as Audrey shoved her phone in her face.

“did you know?! That grammie is forcing (y/n) to marry Jordan?!” Aorua stood and grabbed Audreys phone, looking over the texts.

“WHAT?” Phillip yelled, standing from his desk and walking over to the two girls, glaring at the phone “how dare she, she-what the- Aurora she- what about Harry?!” Phillip looked to Audrey, a horrified look on his face.

“grammie blackmailed her! She said if (y/n) didn’t marry Jordan she would never sign the document allowing more vks!” Aurora turned red, almost breaking Audreys phone in her grip.

“the bitch” she muttered, pressing Audreys phone into the teen's chest and pushing past her.

“Mom what are you-?” Audrey stuttered, running after her mom.

“im going to have a talk with King Ben, I want my mother taken off the council right now, her time has long been over” the usually sunny princess growled, her mother had held a grip on her kingdom of Auroia for long enough, now she would remove her grip on Auradon.

=

Luis brows rose as he stepped out of his limo to see Aurora, Phillip, and Audrey stomping up the steps of King Bens castle.

“my what is going on?” he asked aloud, Phillip turned to him, raising his brow.

“what are you doing here Luis?” he asked, waiting for the older man to catch up.

“Im here to tell the king about your mother in laws horrid plan, I should have told him as soon as I heard it but it is difficult to get an audience with him during such a busy time” Luis hummed, smiling as Phillip nodded along.

“same here, Audrey just showed us the texts (y/n) has received from Leah” Luis and Phillip quickly followed the pissed off Aurora who was swiftly making her way to Ben's office.

Aurora slammed his door open, the teen king jumped in fright, scrambling to catch the empty coffee he had tossed in the air in reaction. “A-Aurora?! What-“

“my mother has decided to go behind my back, AND YOURS, blackmailing my daughter to marry Ariels son in exchange for signing the new vks document, or else she would force my daughter to leave Harry and his friends on the isle to rot, and I demand you remove her from the council” Ben’s jaw dropped and he slammed the coffee cup on his desk.

“WHAT?! How long has this been going on?!” Ben gasped, walking around his desk and digging into a cabinet.

“almost two weeks” Luis sighed, rubbing his chin “there was a secret council meeting and almost all of them agreed with her plan, I tried to tell you sooner but you’ve been booked” Ben winced and bowed his head to Luis.

“im sorry about that, I wish I could have spoken to you sooner, thank you for telling me now though, I’ll be removing her from her seat. Oh, and Aurora?” the blonde princess rose her brow “will you take her place?” her jaw dropped slightly before she shook her head.

“(y/n) shou-“ Ben smiled and shrugged.

“as the ambassador of the isle, she already has a position on the council” he turned to Luis “If you could, please give me all the names of those who agreed to her plan, I want them removed immediately”

Luis smiled and nodded, going over to the cabinet and digging into the files, taking out the other rotten apples of the council.

Aurora hummed for a moment, thinking, before she smiled “Ben, if Im going to be one of the new council members, may I have the new vks document?” Ben grinned and nodded, running to his desk and quickly grabbing the document and a pen.

“here you go” Ben chirped, going back to removing the council members with a scribble of his own pen and a red-stained stamp.

Aurora motioned for Phillip to turn around, and he did, letting Aurora use his back as a writing table. She wrote her name with a flourish and smiled, setting the document and pen on Bens's desk.

Audrey stared at her grammies council document and the other rotten council members, her eyes narrowed and she looked up at Ben, who shivered and looked up at her, his eyes curious. “Aud-“

“We need to make them pay, they need to know what the kids on the isle go through” she snarled, making her parents look at her in shock.

Ben tilted his head at her, raising his brow “….only a few months ago you were saying Mal, Evie, Carlos, and Jay didn’t deserve to be here, what changed?” Aurora gasped at that, going to reprimand her when Phillip stopped her.

“my sister and her stories of the isle, I still don’t like Mal but she, nor any of the kids on the isle deserved what they went and are going through, my sister has been so sad without Harry because of my grandmother and the other idiots of the council, I want revenge for my sister” Audrey and Ben stared at each other, the fire in her eyes surprising him.

He smiled and nodded, “I think I know a way to do that, would you mind going to get fairy godmother? And tell her to get her wand, we have some council members to spell” Audrey gave a nasty grin and nodded, bolting out of Ben's office with her parents following close behind.

Aurora stopped, looking back at Ben, a smile on her face “thank you, Ben”

“thank you Aurora, (y/n) is my best friend, I can't have her happiness ripped from her” he smiled back, nodding at Luis and calling Lumiere to his office.

Ben stopped, humming to himself before taking his phone out and texting Audrey

-tell FG to spell my father as well, he needs to learn his own lesson about the isle-

-copy that >:)-

=

Leah hummed to herself as she ran her fingers through (y/n)s wedding gown, the modest dress was fit for a princess.

“soon I will have my hands on my own kingdom again” she muttered, a grin spreading on her face.

She stopped, a huge wave of dizziness overtaking her “oh my” she muttered, stumbling back to her bed and falling back into it, “wha?”

Her eyes drifted close and she fell into a nightmare.

=

Leah stumbled around the rotten smelling streets of the isle, eyes watering at the putrid stench of rotten food and…something else, she couldn't tell though.

She looked to her left, gasping in fear as she locked eyes with eh sunken ones of a tiny three-year-old, the child's cheeks thin and gaunt, her eyes drained of life, her body covered in blood and bruises, her ankles and hands dark and bloody.

“oh my-ah!” a large man bumped into her, clicking his tongue at her and whistling. Leah ran, tripping over loose stones and rusty nails. She tripped over a large fallen pillar, screaming as someone grabbed her.

= (yall can imagine the rest of the council and beasts tourture~…can be as graphic as you want~)=

Harry sighed, unable to move from his bed, his eyes hurt, unable to shed another but trying to. “Harry?” Umas muffled voice sounded from the other side of the door “Harry are you okay? You’ve been in your room for almost two days”

Harry sniffed, his throat was too sore to talk “Harry I’m coming in” Uma opened the door and gasped at Harry's curled up form on his messy bed “harry” she cooed, walking over and kneeling next to him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder “what-“

“(y/n)s bitch of a gra’ma is forcin’ her ta marry someon’ else ta get ‘er ta sign the document for us” he croaked, wincing as Uma shrieked in anger.

“WHAT! HOW CAN-AH!!?” she stood from beside his bed, walking around while ranting, waving her hands about wildly. “she can't fucking do that?! Its actually illegal she-WHAT!?!” Gil softly knocked on Harry's open door, a bright yet confused look on his face.

“um, there's some of Bens guard messenger dudes outside….along with Ben and Mal?” Uma looked to Harry confused and pushed past Gil, going to meet with the king and Lady of the court.

Harry sniffed and rubbed his cheek, groggily sitting up and looked at gil blankly “did they yell yeh what they wanted” he croaked, sighing as Gil shrugged.

“no, they just wanted to talk to uma-“ Gil jumped as uma leaped into the room, a huge grin on her face.

“pack your bags boys! We’re going to Auradon!” Harry's jaw dropped and he stood quickly, walking over to Uma and gripping her shoulders.

“did-“ Uma’s bright grin turned nasty and she chuckled.

“nope~ beasty boy fired most of the council, including (y/n)s grandma, and the new vk document has been signed! You! Are gonna go get your princess back!” Harry's heart sprung to life and he let out a bout of laughter, picking Uma up in a hug, spinning her around for a moment before setting her down and grabbing his duffle bag, starting to pack.

Uma giggled and pushed Gil's shoulder “come one, we need to go pack, the sooner Harry gets his girl the better” the two teen pirates ran out of Harry's room and to their own to pack.

=

You glared at the long-sleeved white dress hanging from your temporary rooms closet door.

….you were getting married in 10 hours.

You also hadn’t heard from Leah in a day, after she had texted you yesterday about the dress, and all the other crap.

Your phone buzzed and you groaned “speak of the devil” you muttered, hesitantly picking up your phone to look at the text.

-from Leah >:C-

-im sorry-

That…surprised you? Your furrowed your brows in confusion, what? She was sorry all of a sudden, well it didn’t matter, she was fucking ruining your life at the moment, and you couldn’t forgive her.

Your phone buzzed again.

You gasped and stood from your seat, squealing as you jumped around in joy

-from Jordan-

-WEDDINGS OFF!!!:D:D:D-

-YEEES- you texted back -what happened!!! How??!-

- i don’t even know,…i…did come out to them? They were completely supportive btw, so maybe that’s why?…. hey btw, whose the new blonde dude, hes cute-

-that’s amazing im so proud of you! And happy for you!!....what new blonde dude?-

Your phone buzzed again, but this time with a text from your sister.

-hey, ur at the Atlantic hotel right?-

You furrowed your brows and texted her back

-yeah? Why OH DID YOU HEAR?!-

-I KNOW!! :D but you need to come outside, im here to pick you up-

You nodded and messaged her back -okay- and rushed to grab your bags, sliding on your jacket and running out of the room. you didn’t bother to take the elevator, it would take to long.

You slammed open the stairwell doors and ran out the building, giggling as you spotted your sister. “Audrey!!” you screeched, dropping your bags and leaping into her arms “hi!”

“hi!” she screeched back, catching you and swaying you in her arms “ohhhh you have no idea what a crazy two days its been!”

“Are you kidding!?! I was supposed to get married in 10 hours!” you cackled, picking your bags up and tossing them into the back of her Cadillac and hopping in her passenger seat.

Audrey giggled and leaped into the driver's seat, putting her seat belt back on and driving towards the school “ooh I know, there's a surprise for you back at the dorms by the way”

You grinned and poked her shoulder “ohhh what is it~?”

“you gotta find out for yourself~” Audrey teased, pushing off your hand.

“Okay okay,” you sighed happily, letting your head fall back against the seat and looking up at the clear blue sky.

The day that was going to be your doom was saved.

What would make it even better was Harry.

But, that probably wouldn’t be for another couple months at best with your grandmother still on the council.

“oh by the way grammie was kicked off the council” you popped back up, staring wide-eyed at Audrey.

“what?!?! Wait does that-holy shit” you muttered, laughter bubbling beneath your words.

Audrey laughed with you, telling you about how mom and dad found out about Leah's plan and foiling it, telling Ariel and Eric that she had gone behind their backs and didn’t know about the arranged marriage.

They were pissed, immediately calling off the wedding and apologizing to your parents and Jordan.

About an hour later you arrived back at the dorms, you raised your brow at the limo out front, multiple bags being emptied from the trunk “Aud whats- HOLY FUCK” you screamed, unbuckling your seat belt and leaping out of the car, running towards the tall Scottish pirate “HARRY!” he looked up, a huge grin spreading across his face.

“(Y/N)!” he yelled, running towards you and catching you mid-air, spinning you around in his arms “my love holy shit I missed yeh” he sobbed in your ear, happy tears running down his face and soaking your top.

“Harry Harry Harry” you muttered over and over again, pulling back and peppering kissing all over his face, making him giggle.

“dawww” Audrey and Uma cooed, Audrey snapping a photo of the reunion. Harry shook off your kisses and grinned at you, yelping adorably as you pouted and grabbed his face, forcing more kisses on his nose and cheeks. “let.me.love.you” you kissed between each word, ignoring your parents and sister in the background, cooing and snapping photos of the two of you.

“lass, lass, love, (y/n)-ah~!” he squealed, setting you down and grabbing your hands and peeling them from his neck “love I’m ticklish please”

“you must be Harry” Harry perked up, straightening as he locked eyes with your dad.

“uh-aye, yes! Yes, sir tha’s me” he said nervously, blinking surprised as Phillip held out his hand.

“thank you for making my daughter happy and keeping her safe when she was on the isle with you” Harry smiled and took his hand, yelping as Phillip pulled him in for a hug and Aurora joined in, greeting Harry with a chirp.

“hello~ (y/n) has told us all about you!” she squealed, ruffling Harry's hair.

“uh really?” Harry murmured, peeking at you through the gap between Aurora's head and Phillip’s arm

You gave him a bright smile and walked over, pulling him from your parent's arms “lass-mmf!?” you pulled him down and pressed your lips to his, humming into it.

Harry's eyes fluttered closed, shoulders dropping and arms wrapping around your waist.

“Okay okay” Phillip chuckled, patting your shoulder “that’s enough, now why don’t we help these four move in”

You turned, gasping as you spotted Uma, Gil, and Dizzy standing at the entrance, Dizzy squealing, and bouncing around.

“Yeah!” you grinned, grabbing Harry's hand and pulling him into the dorm building, harry intertwining his fingers with yours.

You finally had your pirate prince back.

 -the end, thank you for reading! Also, told you it was a happy end~-

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[toongrrl-blog]

The Mommy Myth: Attack of the Celebrity Moms

Gonna try and structure it a lil’ bit different, hit it!

Debby Boone

January 1981, Ronald Reagan was inaugurated as president and Debby Boone, 1978 Grammy winner, poses with her three month old child for the cover of Good Housekeeping. Like her father who has oozed his brand of sanitized rock ‘n’ roll (as not to freak out white parents and grandparents), Debby has become a pioneer: the celebrity mom profile. Inside the issue we learned that baby Jordan eats very well and sleeps 8 hours a night (good) and he is healthy because Debby took SUPER GOOD CARE OF HER BODY during her pregnancy as she ate health food and weighed only a pound less than before she was pregnant (okay Deb), mostly due to healthy food and prayer (news to the church ladies my Mom knows), this was a surprise (okay), and baby Jordan loves music because his grandfather Pat Boone and great-grandfather Red Foley were musicians (well most babies like music and noise). The celebrity mom profile where she reminds the female reader that she is a poised, trim, stylish, perfect mother unlike you the mom who stresses over tax season, is a household drudge, and eats junk food when the kids are asleep.

Kirstie Alley

February 1994, Kirstie Alley (remember Cheers, Fat Actress, It Takes Two, and Look Who’s Talking?) invites In Style magazine into her fourth house in Bangor, Maine that she paid in with cash, a house that is like her: “at once down-to-earth and whimsical”. She’s a mom now with a “playful sense of style” that is evident by the decoupage grapes on her son’s highchair and was made to look antique and worn. One year old True (that’s his name!) has his highchair facing a ceramic pig holding a blackboard on which a new word appears to encourage his reading proficiency (never too early to start teaching kids to read!) We see Kirstie’s life is made easy with decorators, nanny, a cook, and personal assistants and True having two hour nap times (I will check with relatives of young babies and toddlers to see if possible) where Kirstie works out with a personal trainer and eats a fat-free lunch (well we know what happens when you diet for so long). Kirstie gushes about how “being a mother has given me a whole new purpose. Every day when I wake up it’s like Christmas morning to me, and seeing life through True’s eyes gives me a whole new way of looking at the world” (yeah I don’t know anyone who actually feels that way and what about those who found a purpose without having kids? Sorry charity volunteers and recovering alcoholics!) 

Flash forward to 1997 where Kirstie is star of the then-new Veronica’s Closet where she has a new man, new show, and a new baby. We learn her Maine home has fifteen bedrooms and she loves decorating this huge place, which includes a nursery-rhyme garden for True and baby Lillie. Kirstie talks about this facial treatment she has every morning where she blasts her face with oxygen and enzymes with a plastic hose hooked up to two pressurized tanks (guess Joan Crawford’s beauty regimen wasn’t hardcore enough?). 

Annie Potts

I admit there could be some bias here, I grew up on Annie Potts (Ghostbusters, Designing Women, Any Day Now, Pretty In Pink, GCB, Toy Story) so that might color my commentary (though I try to keep a bit of Susan J. and Meredith here). In California, we enter Annie Potts’s “Casa de Mayhem” (actually really cute, nice to see she nice great decorating sense outside of Iona’s fabulous digs) where her nanny corrals Potts’s 16 month old where a wing was built in the anticipation of the baby Jake’s birth (how?), where there is a darkroom for her husband, a bedroom for the assistant (late night slumbers?), and an office for Potts and also a pool. Somehow her white furniture remains immaculate (just like Megan Draper’s white carpet). Annie Potts believes that her son may be the reincarnation of her cat Gus and covers her chairs with cow-print vinyl.

Cheryl Ladd (Or a more Honest Time that was soon to be past)

During a different time Ladies Home Journal in March 1979 reported on Cheryl Ladd (Charlies Angels star and singer for Melody) as a mother where she admitted even with her household staff and her four year old with a nine year old’s vocabulary (by 1979 standards!) , it can be stressful which Goldie Hawn admitted to in smaller profile. Back then the celebrity moms were glamorous and embraced intensive mothering but they admitted it had it’s ups and downs, sentiments that were gone by the late 1980s where “motherhood was sexy” or “blessed”. Also the houses and toys became more lavish and the moms were always gushing with Whitney Houston stating she “never found anything more fulfilling than being a mother” (okay that makes me sad in hindsight, RIP Whitney and Bobbi Christina) and celeb moms saying they have transformed as people since having babies (babies are not reform school people nor life coaches). And was so awkward when Christie Brinkley said she got it right with her 3rd kid (no shade really, she was neat as Gayle Gergich). 

In Celebrity Momma land there was no such thing as postpartum depression, saggy tits, leaky nipples, extra fat or economic, political, and social barriers or sexism, racism, and classism or even bratty kids or lazy or tired partners. They were (in the words of Michaels and Douglas) “June Cleaver with cleavage and a successful career”. They were allowed to bring the kid to work and they were always in love with their husbands....until not (these gushing profiles were the equivalent of that couple on Facebook with the perfect photos but argued a lot in real life). And while most of us bounce between the hip cynic and the corny romantic, we can see through it but still feel insecure by it. 

Princess Diana (and the Rules of Celebrity Motherhood)

She was one of the most watched celebrity moms ever since her engagement to Prince Charles and even after the Royal Gyno certified her as a virgin and fertile in 1881...no I mean 1981 when she married him. Then in June 1982, William was born while she was around 20 years old. This girl clearly was picked by the Royal Family because she was young, pretty, not very assertive, fertile, and a virgin. He was her sister Lady Sarah’s ex-boyfriend and she thought he was hot since she was 16....keep in mind there is like a fourteen year age difference and she was a late teenager when they got engaged and married. The Press talked about his adoration for her and they had for a while the image of the picture-perfect family where nothing was wrong, she was naturally very thin and he thought she was the only woman in the world for him and wouldn’t want to be another woman’s tampon. Of course the cracks were obvi, early on, the Royal Family was all about projecting that image and Diana played along, being and playing devoted mom and she was, just she couldn’t be tired or want a lil space from the kids while the cameras were rolling. She even looked slim during her second (!) pregnancy! Which she timed perfectly. We now know that was a eating disorder. She had a ton of tasks on her schedule (charity) and often turned the kids over to a nanny but tried to give a normal life to her kids and expose them to people less privileged than they. Diana was a child of divorce, close to her younger brother, was depressed and bulimic, happened to marry a guy from a tradition bound family when she was starting to find herself, why does our culture encourage women to bound themselves to motherhood and marriage before they figured themselves out as people? And we know stuff about the Windsors as a family from The Crown. 

1. “The mom is gorgeous, in clear control of her destiny, and her husband loves her even more once she becomes pregnant and the baby is born.”

2. “They are always radiantly happy when they are with their kids.” And the kids are always happy too, as it reflects well on the moms...

3. “They always look and feel fabulous--better than ever--while pregnant, because they are nutrition experts and eat exactly what they should and have the discipline to exercise regularly. No varicose veins, no dreaded ‘mask of pregnancy’, no total exhaustion, no unflattering comparisons to Weber barbecue kettles or Chris Farley. And they time their babies perfectly. Control, control, control. 

4. “Whatever your schedule, whatever institutional constraints you confront that keep you away from or less involved with your kids, it must be clear that they are your number-one priority, not mater what.” Big thing when working moms were dealing with workplace rules making it hard to be there for their children and be on top at work.

5. “There must be some human frailties, some family tragedies, some struggles or foibles that bring the celeb down a peg, make her seem a bit more like us and allow some of us to identify with her.” 

6. “The celebrity mom is fun-loving, eager to jump up and play with the kids at a moment’s notice. She’s always in the mood. She never says, ‘Not now honey. I don’t feel like it. Mummy’s tired. Mummy’s too lazy. Roller-coasters make Mummy barf.”

7. “...truly good, devoted mothering requires lavishing as many material goods on your kids as possible.” You even have to be lavish with the nursery. 

Moms of Color

When the genre found it’s boom, Celebrity Moms were mostly white and straight (except for Rosie O’Donnell and the then-closeted Jodie Foster) and many writers and editors at women’s magazine said that white women don’t want to read about black women (crushing a soda can in my hand). Then women like Whitney Houston and Gloria Estefan started having kids and magazines like Ebony have done profiles like “The New Motherhood” and “The Joys of Being A Stay At Home Mom” where educated and employable black women became housewives (no statistics offered) and yes Ebony has always done that and spotlighted activists and their families. I also want to point out that the magazine has always been socially conscious, because Police Brutality and racism are still alive, with recently black celebrities posing with their sons as a statement against the police killings of young black people.

Now Susan J. Douglas and Meredith Michaels ask: should moms of color be glad to be celebrated with this lofty pedestal or be concerned about how fragile this pedestal is? I think Jodie Landon says it all.

Why all this matters

The Celebrity Mom profile presented a narrow view of motherhood not afforded to many ordinary mothers (whether you are of color or white, working class or middle class, have many kids or just one, are religious or spiritual or atheist, stay at home or part-time or salaried) cannot live up to. Celebrity Moms have existed for a long time but when the 1980s came, that is when motherhood practically became even more of a sport or a performance about how one can be the perfect supermom and make those who feel ambivalence feel like they are terrible mothers who ate too many junk food and were always tired, and had photos with no photoshop or personal trainers or stylists. In the Reagan era, being wealthy was chic: “trickle-down” economics, Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, dramas about wealthy people, ads from Calvin Klein and Ralph Lauren that breathed new life into the preppy look, Merchant Ivory films focusing on wealthy people in the old days and Mommie Dearest was a bestseller on the bookshelves and the theaters that made publicists very busy. 

Also let’s talk about the beginnings of People magazine. In 1974, after market researchers for Time magazine noted that readers read the “People” section first before reading other parts of the magazine, Time-Life launched People magazine. Following was Us Weekly in 1977 and then the tabloids started doing more celebrity journalism, even local TV news magazines like Evening which gave way to Entertainment Tonight and then we heard the more serious news shows talking about celebs. Also while we were turning away from “experts” who were never moms or did diapers, we looked for role models as we needed to be role models and Celebrity moms were women who had lucrative and high-paying jobs and motherhood; they were also attractive role models as they suggested an alternative to being a frumpy or presentable-but-in-the-background or sexless has-been after having kids. Then women’s magazines started featuring more celebrities and they have before but now more so than ever. Redbook magazine, according to an anonymous employee who reported to Douglas and Michaels, said that the magazine conducted focus groups to see which celeb would sell the best: one year it was Kathie Lee Gifford, a few years later it was Meg Ryan, also headlines with words like “a tragedy” “triump” or “a secret” or a combo sold like hotcakes. This is not to suggest people working the magazines or the celebs keeping their brand were calculating cynics, just take things with a grain of salt...

What about Regular Moms?

Let’s give up for the Joan Holloways, Trudy Campbells, Betty Drapers, Karen Wheelers, Rochelle Rocks, Debbie Eagans, Tamme Dawsons, Peggy Olsons, Megan Drapers, and Joyce Byers of the world. Who while reading this piece of treacle, are dealing with unhelpful or tired or abusive husbands or having no husband, struggle with feedings and diaper changes, with loving their babies and missing their old lives, and with having a bit of weight after baby or had to fight it off and still find that things are very different. Who had their sleep disrupted after baby and spent a good chunk of their day in curlers. The Moms who felt sick, swollen, fat, gross, un-sexy during their pregnancies or even sans pregnancy, and never had that “glow”. Basically the moms doing all they can for their kids and have their own demons to exercise and are made to feel bad by their role models; some of them didn’t have role models (like their Moms don’t understand the context of their lives). 

Celebrity Mom profiles bring up the same stereotypes that plagued women like Betty Draper and Karen Wheeler: that women are all nurturing and maternal, love all children, and prefer motherhood to anything even work and are the main responsible figures. Also add the competition from consumer culture of pitting moms against moms and encouraged self-loathing in women. 

To ordinary mothers of America, those of us lacking the staff of a French chateau, and the joyful outlook that goes with it, these ceaseless profiles of celebrity moms with their perfect children and perfect lives are a rebuke, a snub, and a warning. Fail to get with the program and your kids will not make the grade, your husband won’t look at you the way he used to, and, worst of all, other mothers will see you for what you are: an unworthy loser, a bad mother. 

To all the Women stuck with the Second Shift, homeschooling, keeping the home afloat along with their careers during this Pandemic, thank you. Shout out to the Lois Foutleys working the front lines while they deal with their families and to the Helen Morgendorffers who wish they were at work (really, don’t let any “having a child is more important than a career” people make you feel bad). And to the essential workers like Joyce. 

[sueboohscorner]

#JaneTheVirgin Chapter 55: Life Goes On

Chapter 55

 Inhala. Exhala. First episode since…Gaaaaaaaaah! I can’t do this, I thought I could, but I…I need a sexy but stern Rafael with a beard to tell me to get over myself and write this dang recap.

The intro starts in darkness. Alba’s voice gently reminds us it will always feel different. It's two weeks after Michael's death and Jane is in bed crying about to spiral into a dark depression. Jane and Alba now have something awful in common; they’re both widows.  Jane asks Alba how she survived losing the love of her life and Alba tells Jane that she had no choice, she had to be strong.  Alba and Jane look at Mateo and Jane realizes she has to be strong for Mateo. Little by little jane moves forward.

Three years later, Jane gets ready for the wedding.  She’s nervous, but MICHAEL’S PICTURE TELLS HER SHE’S GOT THIS.  Gah. Gaaah!

The wedding turns out to be…no one’s really. Ugh, the writers psyched us into thinking someone on this show other than Jane was mature enough to enter into holy matrimony and it's a dang reality-TV wedding.  Rogelio and Darci are happily-ever-aftering on their hit show, The De La Factor Factor. Rogelio tells Darci her love is like winning the lottery and he got “the lump sum of her love.” Ha!  But it’s all fake, because DARCI AND ROGELIO HATE EACH OTHER WITH THE WHITE HOT INTENSITY OF A THOUSAND SUNS. This is a gyp! Justina and Jaime have mad chemistry and the JTV writers are really cheating themselves by keeping these two apart just because Rogelio loves Xiomara. Yeah. Ro is still in love with Xo.

Random people on the street have been throwing Big Gulps on Xo for trying to break up Dargelio (me: #Team Dargelio). Xo has actually been quite happy with Bruce in their snazzy love nest, but the producers of De La Factor Factor have edited the reality show to make it look like Xo is the problem.  Darci and Ro are also childless because of fertility problems. But didn’t Darci freeze her young, ready-to-be fertilized eggs?

Jane is late for the tv wedding because MATEO IS A DEMON!  Jane is lovely in a peach evening dress, but

Mateo is running around in nothing but his drawers like 21 Pilots at the Grammys.  Jane has a weather-based “system” to get Mateo to behave. She claps thunder and if Mateo fails to obey, it’s a rainy day. Girl, I guess. Mateo has gone from the terrible twos to the freakin’ awful fours.  There is lots of thunder and rainy days. His teachers want to get him a shadow to help him get his act together. New Mateo is cute; when he said “I’m sorry I’m a bad boy,” I was like, okay, he can stay. But Jane should consider a hand to the bottom.

Or some advice from Petra. Because PETRA IS THE WORLD’S SECOND BEST MOTHER OF TWINS. (The first is Beyoncé. C’mon, you knew that.) Ellie and Anna are angels and like Blue Ivy, they have a successful mom to look up to.  In addition to being the head of the PTA, Petra has rebranded the Marbella as the second happiest place on earth, a kind of kid-friendly luxury hotel with pirates and parrots and adventures. Petra can’t be too perfect, so she hate-bangs the skeevy guy who owns the adult-themed hotel (the All the Way Inn?) next door.

Rafael is fine. He has a beard. Rafael is fine with or without facial hair, but I do like the beard.  Raf was released from prison totally zen-ed out (must have been federal prison).  Nothing upsets him. He lets Petra handle the Marbella and he tries to find solutions for Mateo’s problems rather than worrying. Oh, and he’s got a girlfriend, Abbey, WHO OWNS A GREETING CARD COMPANY.  Hahahahaha!  That’s funny to me for reasons only I get. But it’s funny. I don’t like Abbey. She seems to be the buffer that keeps Jane in the friend-zone.  Just a couple episodes ago, Rafael was shirtless on top of Catalina and now he’s watching Lifetime TV with Helen of Hallmark.

Jane still has Faith M. Whiskers III! And she still has her dream job, only it’s a nightmare.  Jane’s boss is demanding, but when there’s an opening in an author reading series, Jane screws her courage to the sticking post and submits her novel for consideration. Rafael convinces Jane to enroll Mateo in martial arts (Ellie and Anna take classes) and the discipline seems to help.

Ro turns down another season of DLVFF and a guaranteed chance to star in The Passions of Steve (instead of Rob Lowe) because he doesn’t want Xo vilified. And it turns out Dargelio didn’t have fertility problems; Ro wasn’t sure he wanted to be permanently connected to Darci through a child. Because he loves Xo. That’s where this is going. Snoooze.  Let Xo be happy with Boring Bruce and give us Dargelio!

Mateo is so bad, he doesn’t get an invite to his classmate’s birthday party. Raf talks Petra into convincing the boys mom to invite Mateo to the party.  MATEO KARATE CHOPS THE BIRTHDAY CAKE.  Mateo would’ve got snatched had he been my son. This is annoying. Mothers who can’t see their bad-ass kids are bad are annoying.

Jane thinks Mateo acts out because she was too distracted by her grief to properly care for him. Petra assures her that’s not true. It turns out the day Rafael went to jail, Jane and Petra promised each other an our-baby-daddy-is-in-jail mutual support brunch every week. They helped each other get through Rafael’s incarceration. Awww.

Jane gets a chance to read from her novel!  The night before, Abuela tucks her in. And when she’s alone JANE LISTENS TO A MESSAGE FROM MICHAEL. About oranges. Gah! Gaaaaah! I ugly cried.  I couldn’t breathe.  I was worried the show was getting silly with Mateo and the cake, the Marbella and the pirates, but these moments of genuine grief and sadness and the very real feeling of missing Michael are a perfect  counterpoint to the light and fluffy stuff. Gah.

Turns out Jane’s novel isn’t the story of the Villanueva women; it’s the story of Jane and Michael, Snow Falling. And it’s a romance novel. Everybody shows up, even professor Donaldson who loves the novel. The reading goes well—Jane gets a deal! (Wait, does this make JANE the narrator?)

Petra, who had been trying to get the skeevy guy next door to sign an easement or emolument or something, realizes something and everything works out. I’m horrible with plot. But Yael Grobglas is a frickin’ amazing actress. Know this. When she fought for the easement telling Skeevy Guy that the New Marbella was the first thing that was all hers and she did it for her daughters, that was a great actress making a weak plot point work.

The Marbella Pirate leads the hotel’s children on a fun treasure hunt (in verse, too!) that leads them to the beach where they dig up SCOTT’S CORPSE!!!  Petra said earlier that Scott and Anezka broke up and Scott disappeared. I thought he went off with Michael’s brother and Lina, you know, to that big abandoned story-line in the sky, but SCOTT IS DEAD and since he was blackmailing Petra, she’s probably the main suspect…dun-Dun-DUNNN!

I give this eppy, on a scale of 1-10, a 7.  Last week’s episode was a 10.  This episode felt like we were back to setting up the story pins and, this far into the season, I’m ready to bowl! But the Michael moments were such nice touches and Petra’s story-line earned this eppy a 7.    I could have used more Rogelio and more info about this Abbey woman. But I guess that’s next week.

What do you think? Leave a comment!

XO,

Kellybelle

[billyagogo]

Every Will Smith film performance, ranked

New Post has been published on https://newsprofixpro.com/moxie/2019/10/11/every-will-smith-film-performance-ranked/

Every Will Smith film performance, ranked

The Pursuit of Ranking Will Smith’s Performances

Everett Collection (2); Zade Rosenthal/Columbia Pictures

How do you rank the performances of a man who has done it all? Played the devil? Check. Played a rapping fish? Check. Played a superhero? Check. Played a cop/government agent? A lot of checks. But in honor of Will Smith’s 50th birthday, we took on the impossible task of going through all of his film roles (sorry, Fresh Prince) and coming up with the definitive ranking of his cameos, awards nominations, and franchises. Let the pursuit begin.

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31. After Earth (2013)

What else could be last? The actor himself has called the out-of-this-world flop the “most painful failure” of his career. In M. Night Shyamalan’s sci-fi film, Smith literally takes a backseat to his son Jaden, considering he’s basically just sitting immobilized throughout. The elder Smith doesn’t have to utlilize his patented charm in every film, but his performance here is next level flat, almost robot-like (He, Robot might be have been a better title).

30. Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013)

On paper, Will Smith playing an ESPN reporter in an Anchorman film sounds like something I dreamed up. In reality, be careful what you wish for. Not that Smith is bad, it’s just a wasted opportunity, just like the entire Anchorman 2 fight scene.

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29. Where the Day Takes You (1992)

Despite Smith already being a Grammy-winner and TV star, he’s barely in his film debut, which stars the likes of Dermot Mulroney, Sean Astin, and Ricki Lake. Smith is fine in his very brief screen time as a crippled homeless teen, but if it wasn’t him in the role, you wouldn’t look or think twice about the character.

28. The Legend of Bagger Vance (2000)

Smith’s impressive run to end the 20th century comes to a screeching halt in 2000 (don’t blame Willenium) thanks to his first big screen swing and miss. While Smith is the title character in Robert Redford’s golf drama, he plays second fiddle to Matt Damon, not even showing up until 33 minutes in. The film has been criticized for its use of Smith as the “magical negro” and, unfortunately, he isn’t able to help raise the material above the stereotype. 

27. Shark Tale (2004)

For his sole foray into animation, Smith voices a scheming, rapping fish named Oscar (too bad the film was only nominated for an Oscar). There’s really not much else to say as it’s exactly what you would think Will Smith voicing a rapping fish would be like.

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26. Made in America (1993)

Smith’s second go-around on the big screen finds him playing fifth banana to Whoopi Goldberg, Ted Danson, Ted Danson’s cowboy hat, and Nia Long. And maybe for the only time in his life, Mr. Suave is a nerd, which he really dives into during a very awkward sperm donor scene where he literally does a Scooby Doo, “Huh?” The best thing to come out of this movie is setting up Long’s Fresh Prince run as Will’s girlfriend. (The worst thing: Ted Danson in blackface.)

25. Hancock (2008)

Frank Masi/Columbia Pictures

Easily the biggest disappointment on this list. Even though it was released pre-superhero film boom (two months after Iron Man), it’s unlikely that Hancock would have succeeded at any time, because it just isn’t that good. Don’t get me wrong, the concept is great. Will Smith as an alcoholic superhero is a winning idea. The execution, however, leaves a lot to be desired. And for once, the biggest problem might be Smith, who doesn’t get to showcase any of the reasons that we love him, instead being saddled with a bland, blank slate. 

24. Suicide Squad (2016)

Smith’s second entry into the world of superheroes was about as successful as the first, as in it made a lot of money and wasn’t well-received by critics. A quick summary of Smith in Suicide Squad: He’s ripped, he continues to have good chemistry with Margot Robbie (their first pairing is still to come), and he’s tasked with delivering the often-mocked line, “So we’re some sort suicide squad?” Other than that, nothing Smith or the movie does has anyone anticipating the previously announced sequel.

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23. Men in Black II (2002)

Melinda Sue Gordon/Columbia Pictures

The weakest of the three Men in Black films suffers for many reasons, including becoming too cartoonish (did we really need Nick Cannon, Martha Stewart, and Michael Jackson cameos?) and, more importantly for our purposes, not giving Smith and his character, Agent J, anything interesting to do. A lot of the fun of the first film was Smith as the new guy and his shock and awe to the discovery of alien life, but with that gone, there’s no interesting trait to replace it. We wouldn’t mind if they neuralyzed our memories of MIIB.

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22. I, Robot (2004)

After fighting Miami drug dealers, aliens, more aliens, the government, cowboys, George Foreman, more aliens, and more Miami drug dealers, Smith took on the next logical opponent: robots. In the sci-fi film I, Robot, he plays Del Spooner (top five Smith character name), a sideways beanie-wearing cop who hates robots. That’s not ideal when his most crucial relationships are with a robot and a cat. Smith gets to be angry and frustrated, but it’s one of his most forgettable roles and films.

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21. Seven Pounds (2008)

When a film starts with the main character calling to report his own suicide, it’s unlikely that you’re in for an uplifiting ride. And that’s definitely the case in Seven Pounds, which finds Smith moping his way through it until he kills himself via jellyfish (yes, really). The No. 1 takeaway might actually be that for one of the few times in his career, Smith is outshined, with his Men in Black II costar Rosario Dawson doing the honors here.

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20. Collateral Beauty (2016)

Barry Wetcher/Warner Bros.

Don’t let this photo fool you — take away the first two minutes and Smith is almost entirely sad, depressed, and silent during this poorly-received drama. Until the film’s last 30 minutes or so, Smith is more of a plot device for the star-studded supporting cast. But, the appearances of “Love,” “Time,” and “Death” eventually bring him alive, leading to some strong emotional moments that come a little too late to help Collateral Beauty sneak into the top half of Smith’s peformances.

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19. Wild Wild West (1999)

Hot take: Smith isn’t bad in Wild Wild West. Let’s be clear, Wild Wild West is bad, like really bad, but its star isn’t. While Kevin Kline, Kenneth Branagh, and Salma Hayek all scored Razzie noms for their performances, Smith didn’t (I’m blaming Kline for Worst Screen Couple) and that’s because he was far from the problem, coasting on his charisma and ability to pull off a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, and a jacket with no shirt. And if I’m being honest, I’m definitely giving extra points for the “Wild Wild West” theme song and the memorable MTV Movie Awards performance. A horse! Sisqo! Stevie Wonder! On second thought, maybe those should have been Smith’s costars.

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18. Jersey Girl (2004)

It turns out that Will Smith is really good at playing Will Smith. In 2004, he took a break from blockbusters to cameo in Kevin Smith’s critical and commercial disappointment. Smith’s sole scene finds him navigating between comedy and drama, both saying he’s “ridiculously” hung and giving the sentimental parenting speech that inspires Ben Affleck’s character to give up the fast-paced corporate lifestyle in order to be a better father. Bonus points for Smith’s amazing 2004 movie star outfit!

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17. Winter’s Tale (2014)

Another cameo, another critical and commercial failure. But in Akiva Goldsman’s film, the actor plays the complete opposite of Will Smith: Lucifer. For the only time so far in his career, Smith takes on the role of a true evil person/being (a hitman with a heart of gold in Suicide Squad doesn’t count) and it was nice to see him briefly deviate from his movie star formula. The face-off with Russell Crowe’s demon is initially unremarkble, until Lucifer launches into a fierce and scary tirade that is unlike anything Smith has ever done.

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16. Men in Black 3 (2012)

Wilson Webb/Columbia Pictures

After being good for at least one movie every year during his peak, Smith’s four-year absence from the big screen for some reason comes to an end with Men in Black 3. It’s unclear who wanted or needed this film, but it’s still an improvement on its predecessor for a few reasons, all of which were related to Smith. There’s a fresh dynamic for Smith to play with as Josh Brolin stars as young Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones); Agent J’s amusing bewilderment is back; and the big final reveal gives Smith a nice emotional moment that neither of the first two films had.

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15. Bright (2017)

Another instance where the execution doesn’t live up to the promise. Smith playing a grizzled, mustached veteran cop in a film from the writer behind Training Day sounds like a home run. And yet, the only thing knocked out of the park is a fairy (“Fairy lives don’t matter,” apparently). While the script and Joel Edgerton’s makeup do Smith no favors, he comes out mostly unscathed, doing his best to ground a story about orcs, elves, and a magic wand.

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14. Gemini Man (2019)

A for effort? Smith pulls double duty in Ang Lee’s thriller, playing both Henry, an aging assassin, and his younger clone, Junior, who is sent to kill him. Unfortunately, the script doesn’t live up to the promise and mostly impressive CGI (the final scene is laughably distracting). But, Smith, like in many of his recent films, does what he can, bringing a real weariness and fatigue to Henry, while delivering an innocence to Junior that we’ve rarely seen from the actor. 

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13. Aladdin (2019)

“A little Fresh Prince, little Hitch, and a whole lot of attitude.” That is how Will Smith’s take on Genie was described more than a year before the film came out. And, honestly, the only thing that could have gotten me more excited was if you threw in “a little Bad Boys.” But, even without some Mike Lowrey, Smith put his own spin on Robin Williams’ iconic character and made Aladdin fun and entertaining for every second he was onscreen. And, more importantly, Will Smith is rapping again!!

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12. Concussion (2015)

Melinda Sue Gordon/Columbia Pictures

“Tell the truth!” Smith’s character Bennet Omalu memorably demands of an NFL employee who is denying football’s effects on the brain. Well, the truth is that Concussion is a bad movie full of reported inaccuracies that is only watchable because of Smith’s understated performance. For once, he isn’t sad, funny, or cool; he’s determined. And like his past portrayals of real-life figures, the actor earned a Golden Globe nomination for the role.

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11. Focus (2015)

The return of cool Will Smith! For some reason, after building a career on his charisma and charm, Smith went away from it for basically a decade, opting instead to be sad (Seven Pounds), dark (Winter’s Tale), or just straight boring (After Earth). But with Focus, at least very temporarily, Smith became cool again. (Following up with Concussion, Suicide Squad, Collateral Beauty, and Bright is why I say “very temporarily.”) Over the years, Smith has had hit-or-miss chemistry with his love interests, but the pairing with Margot Robbie is definitely a hit and initially gave one reason to be optimistic about Suicide Squad.

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10. Bad Boys II (2003)

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Eight years after first riding and dying together, Smith reunited with Martin Lawrence for Michael Bay’s high-octane sequel. Once again, Lawrence gets to be the real comedic star, while Smith is the movie star. The nonstop action doesn’t leave much room for Smith to stretch his acting muscles, but the back-and-forth between the two actors is a high point and maybe the most rapport that Smith has ever had with a costar (sorry, Tommy Lee Jones and Jada Pinkett Smith). Now if only we could finally get Bad Boys III before they are too old for this s—.

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9. Six Degrees of Separation (1993)

Just before Smith catapulted to movie stardom in summer blockbusters, the rapper surprised audiences (and Hollywood!) in a truly dramatic turn, taking on the role of a young, gay con artist. Starring as the shady Paul, Smith plays a character playing a character and he more than holds his own against Ian McKellen, Donald Sutherland, and Stockard Channing, who he says he fell in love with after getting too into character. The one knock against Smith here is his reported refusal to kiss Anthony Michael Hall on the advice of Denzel Washington as to not damage his movie star appeal. (C’mon, 1993.)

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8. Men in Black (1997)

While Bad Boys and Independence Day had Smith trending up, Men in Black is when he officially became a movie star. After Chris O’Donnell and David Schwimmer passed on playing NYPD cop-turned-rookie Agent J, Smith was somehow the next logical choice, turning in a character and performance that neither of the first two choices could have. Whether he’s cracking jokes or shouting in both fear and amazement about the presence of aliens, Smith shines bright.

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7. Bad Boys (1995)

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Arsenio Hall’s hilarious mistake is Will Smith’s gain as the Fresh Prince gets his first chance to be a big screen leading man. And he makes the most of the opportunity, oozing with swagger as ladies man Detective Mike Lowrey. But just like in the previously discussed sequel, Michael Bay’s buddy cop vehicle sets up Martin Lawrence, who was headlining his own sitcom, to be the real star. Don’t worry, though, because Smith got the last laugh with Bad Boys kicking off an epic four-year run and setting him up to soon become Hollywood’s most bankable star.

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6. Independence Day (1996)

No offense, Bill Pullman, Jeff Goldblum, and Randy Quaid, but we kept wishing to go back to Smith, who doesn’t show up until 25 minutes into Roland Emmerich’s sci-fi classic. While the role of pilot Steven Hiller is just part of an ensemble, Smith is no doubt the true star, dominating every scene he’s in and nailing one-liners. “Welcome to Earth,” he says after punching an alien. “Now that’s what I call a close encounter.” Now that’s what I call a movie star-making performance.

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5. Ali (2001)

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Maybe the greatest compliment that can be paid to Smith’s performance as Muhammad Ali is that I can’t imagine anyone else playing the boxer. In many of his films, it’s hard to see past Will Smith. “Oh, that’s just Will Smith with a badge.” But here, you just see Ali. And the Academy agreed, giving Smith the first of his two Oscar nominations.

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4. Enemy of the State (1998)

It’s not often that Smith plays an everyman. His first three lead roles featured him as a badass cop, a badass pilot fighting aliens, and a badass secret agent investigating alien activity. Here, in the underrated gem from director Tony Scott, he’s a lawyer who just happened to be at the wrong lingerie store at the wrong time. Not able to just skate on his charisma, Smith excels as being overwhelmed and out of his element. It might seem strange that a performance like this is above Ali, but often times pulling off a smart, action-packed thriller is even tougher than a biopic.

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3. I Am Legend (2007)

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Smith has had great chemistry with costars over the years, whether it’s Martin Lawrence or Tommy Lee Jones or Margot Robbie, and that streak continues in I Am Legend, even if the chemistry is with a dog and a mannequin. The magnetic actor has given heartbreaking perfomances before, but none like Dr. Robert Neville, who very might be the last man on Earth. During one 10-minute stretch, Smith shows enormous range as he is forced to put his dog down, and then emotionally unleashing on a female mannequin. It’s quite possibly the best work of his entire career. Legendary, indeed.

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2. Hitch (2005)

Barry Wetcher/Sony Pictures

Disclaimer: I’ve been accused a time or two of talking too much about Hitch, a.k.a. the greatest rom-com ever made. But it’s for good reason! The only full-on rom-com of Smith’s career came a few years after the peak of his powers, but still in the midst of his prime, and he gets to perfectly play many versions of the date doctor: charming Hitch, allergic reaction Hitch, flustered Hitch, embarrassed Hitch, nerd Hitch. And it’s almost impossible to pick just one scene to highlight; it could be meeting Sara (Eva Mendes) for the first time, or teaching Albert (Kevin James) how to dance, or Hitch and Albert kissing, or the speed dating confrontation. You know what, just go watch the whole movie and fall in love all over again.

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1. The Pursuit of Happyness (2006)

It seems fitting that Smith’s best and worst performances featured him acting alongside his son Jaden. As you’ve noticed, I’m not a big fan of sad Will Smith, but this is the exception to the rule. Throughout the film, he wears his pain on his sleeve, constantly breaking your heart, whether he’s giving away his character’s last $5 or locked inside a subway bathroom, crying and holding on tight to his sleeping son. The emotional portrayal of homeless salesman/aspiring stockbroker Chris Gardner earned Smith the second of his two Oscar nominations, and hopefully not his last.

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[rockrevoltmagazine]

SCATTERED HAMLET Release Official Music Video for "STAY HUNGRY"

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Hard Southern Rock Band SCATTERED HAMLET has released the official music video for their cover of the TWISTED SISTER classic single, “Stay Hungry.” Originally premiered on Tattoo.com, “Stay Hungry” is a heartfelt tribute to the band’s drummer, Jake Delling Le Bast, who is currently in a coma.

“There we were, one second we were waiting to see if we landed a tour support slot with an artist we really looked up to, and then next, I got the call. The heartbeat of the honky tonk metal machine, Jake Delling Le Bas, was celebrating his 30th birthday and fell off a third story balcony….. They didn’t know if he was going to make it. Later though, he did defy all odds and made it, but was in a coma with a traumatic brain injury. The kind of brain injury soldiers get from IEDs. I couldn’t make this crap up if I tried, it was like an episode of Behind The Music, but this time, instead of me watching it we were living it. I’m writing this nearly eight months later and I haven’t heard his voice since September. After talking with his family and the guys, we realized Jake didn’t work most of his adult life this hard to get the band to where we were only for us to decide we couldn’t move on. Honestly, that would piss him off most. Since the album cycle was cut short for Swamp Rebel Machine, we wanted to make something special so we put a call out to our fans on social media to pick a song for us to cover as a tribute for our fallen brother.

“We had some great ideas pitched to us and some not so great ideas [laughs]. Anyway, we demoed a few and they ran a complicated series of emotions: reflective, sad, sentimental… you name it, we tried to link that emotion to a song we could do justice. In SH though, we always had one gear and that’s balls out straight ahead. At the end of the day, we were still hungry and still wanted that same thing we were after the first time Jake, me and the early SH machine drove half way across the country to SXSW in Austin to announce to the music community that we were here. So that’s when my older brother stepped in, the fella who gave me my first Kiss album and got me started on this journey, he said, “Do Twisted Sister.” My brother grew up on Long Island and he and his friends used to see them in their early days. I’d always been a fan, but I watched their documentary and thought, wow, these guys knew how to overcome. Here we are feeling sorry for ourselves and should be out kicking ass agin. With the help of Jake’s best friend, and decorated producer, Jason Donaghy, and Jake’s younger brother, Alex, doing the video, this tune gave us a chance to get back on the horse and maybe when we play Warped Tour it can introduce some of the younger folks at the shows to the badassness that is Twisted Sister, or of course, Dee and the band can go NY style on my ass if they think we messed up their song.” – Adam Joad (Frontman)

Tour Dates: 07/06 @ Little Harper Brewing – Nashville, TN 07/07 @ Coyotes – Shreveport, LA 07/08 @ NRG Park-Main St Lot – Houston, TX 07/10 @ Tennessee State Fairgrounds – Nashville, TN 07/12 @ Rockfest – Cadott, WI 07/13 @ Top Fuel Saloon – Braidwood, IL 07/14 @ Lifers – Algona, IA 07/17 @ Token Lounge – Westland, MI 07/18 @ The Electric company – Mansfield, OH 07/19 @ Evening Star – Buffalo, NY 07/20 @ The Rim – Norton, WV 07/21 @ The Nail – Ardmore, PA 07/22 @ Hucklebucks – Pottsville, PA 07/25 @ Shakas Live – Virginia Beach, VA 07/26 @ Ground Zero – Spartanburg, SC 07/27 @ Whiskey River Club – Anderson, SC 07/28 @ Jesco White’s Birthday – Leoma, TN 08/08 @ Side Stage Buffalo Chip – Sturgis, SD 08/09 @ Mainstage Buffalo Chip w/ Lita Ford, Kid Rock – Sturgis, SD

Click HERE for Additional Dates & Ticketing Information!

Imagine Stone Cold Steve Austin with his partners Bo and Luke Duke in a parking lot brawl on Saturday night set to music?

“It’s Honky Tonk Metal, like you took a handful of cheap tucker speed and headed out on the highway. “ That’s how the guys in Scattered Hamlet describe their sound. To many others, they describe it as a mix between motorhead, molly hatchet, and clutch. Take a listen and you be the judge. Scattered Hamlet was created to capture the essence of growing up in the country while still giving nods to the original outlaw countrymen of years past. Scattered Hamlet is one part Lynyrd Skynyrd and Molly Hatchet with a little flavoring of Motorhead and Down. All wrapped up in a fine shotgun shell casing. Their influences range everywhere from Southern classic rock, to groove, to doom and punk. With humble origins all over the United states and a relentless touring schedule of 100+ shows a year visiting 40 + states, the band makes no apologies for the equal love of Harley Davidsons, Honky Tonks, Les Pauls, Marshalls, shotguns and the classic American symbolism they all amass.

Their debut full length album, Skeleton Dixie, was produced by 2-time Grammy nominated Jason Donaghy who’s credits include Rob Zombie, John 5 and the Murder Dolls and mastered by legend Howie Weinberg who’s credits include: Pantera, Slayer, White Zombie, and Danzig. Their second full length, and most recent, Swamp Rebel Machine, would go on to give the band their most success with nearly 5,000 copies sold since its release in 2016, landing them a place on the Billboard Heatseekers charts for first week sales in November 2016. All of that mixed with a rigorous touring schedule during the 2017 season has made Scattered Hamlet a top competitor in the underground rock scene.

Scattered Hamlet has gone on to perform at some of America’s greatest music festivals such as Rocklahoma, Rock Fest, Steel Horse Bike Rally, and Warped Tour. Plus, their latest release garnered heavy rotation on dozens of radio station across America and found placements on CMT, MTV and several other media outlets.

These hillbilly boys know how to grab the bull by the horns, hold on for dear life, and ride that cow in to the ground. All humble, yet determined, Scattered Hamlet is aiming down the barrels and ready to pull the trigger on the monstrous career ahead of them.

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SCATTERED HAMLET Release Official Music Video for “STAY HUNGRY” was originally published on RockRevolt Mag

[loveandwarfanfiction]

A Birthday Reunion...

One Year Later

Chris

      It's been a year since Tamar and I broke up and to be honest, it's pretty much been hell. I hated Jasmine as much as I hated myself because of how the shit went down and for three months, I didn't even speak to her unless it was about Nayah. After that, for my daughter's sake, her mom and I made it official and tried the big happy family bullshit. Out of respect for Tamar, because I wanted her back, we didn't make our relationship public. When shit was going good six months later and I considered it, my life, and Nayah's, was changed completely. That day, August 20th, 2011, Jasmine had a photoshoot that ran late...

Flashback:

      It was around 6 when Jasmine called saying she was finally on her way home and our routine was tucking Nayah in for bed together so I did my best to deal with how fussy my almost two- year old was because she's fighting her sleep due to the fact she missed her mom and was waiting on her to come home. Usually it takes about thirty minutes to get to my place from the location she had her photoshoot today so when forty-five minutes pass, I blame that on traffic. When fifteen more minutes pass by, I think either she stopped somewhere for some food or her car broke down.

     If that was the case, why wouldn't she let me know? I would've went to pick her up or understood that she couldn't wait to put Nayah to bed then head home to eat. Hell if she asked, I would've ordered a pizza or something so she could eat before she went home. With that said, I was worried. Thankful that Nayah was fast asleep because she couldn't stay up that long after her bedtime, I finally call her mom. Nothing. Now I'm not just worried but scared so I begin to dial 911 when there's a knock at the door. I sigh with relief assuming that's Jasmine and open the door to see the police.

      Considering my reputation, I instantly have my guard up but my biggest concern right now was the mother of my child. I haven't been in any trouble lately so they couldn't be here for me. If they were here for her, something bad had to happen. I couldn't shake that feeling but I push those thoughts to the side and invite the officers in praying that I was wrong. Once they're seated, I find the courage to ask what brought them here. "May I ask why you're here officers?" "Sorry to bother you Mr. Brown, I'm aware you have your daughter Nayah at the moment correct?"

      "Ok... What's going on? Why are you even bringing her up," I question them; getting pissed now. My heart is literally racing; thinking that they were about to allow Jasmine in, with Social Services behind her, to take my daughter from me. It was either that or something happened to her. "We're here about her mother, Jasmine Sanders... She was in a drunk driving accident and from her recent phone calls, it appears she was on her way here." I was lost for words and trying my hardest to hold myself together at this point; there's only one reason for giving me this news personally.

      That reason, which I didn't want to have to accept, is that my daughter's mother is gone. "She didn't make it did she," I ask clearly with a lump in my throat on the verge of tears. It took them a moment to gather up the courage to speak, it being hard to have to tell me, before they did. "I'm very sorry Mr. Brown but no she didn't... The only belonging of hers we're allowed to give you from the scene is her phone so you can call everyone and tell them the news. Again, we're sorry for your loss," they explain handing me her phone and placing their hand on my shoulder on the way out.

      I closed my front door behind them and just broke down. How do I tell Nayah that her mother's gone? More importantly, how the hell am I going to raise her on my own?! The only person I want to call right now is Tamar but she's most likely not answering. My mom won't be much comfort either; she'll start crying when I tell her which will make me cry even harder. The only comfort right I'd get right now is Nayah. Even though she's sleeping, I went up to her room and scooped her up into my arms, sat down in the rocking chair next to her crib, and held her close as I continued to cry.

      It took me a good thirty minutes to pull myself together after that before I took Jasmine's phone and started making the phone calls I'd been dreading. I started with her publicist just so they could handle getting the news out to the media and then I called her parents. Hitting dial and staying on that phone the entire time was the hardest shit I ever had to do. I'll never forget the screams and wails of her mother in the background as I talked to her father. He was clearly crying himself but staying as strong as he could and let me know how much it meant for me to give them the news.

      It was obvious that they wouldn't be able to handle telling everyone so I volunteered to call the rest of her contacts and give them the news as well. They were beyond grateful and the rest of the phone calls were ten times easier because I made the hardest one prior to them.  After almost three hours of that, I was pretty much numb; I couldn't bring myself to cry anymore. I sent Jasmine's publicist a text asking if she could tell Kae the news because there was no way in hell I was going to then sat there in silence. I NEED to talk to Tamar; to hear her voice and hopefully get closure for the two of us.

      My mom's already called over ten times but I ignored her since I was busy. I also knew she'd be crying when I finally picked up, which I said I wanted to avoid, since she's heard the news by now. The other thing I didn't want to hear is her saying how she's sorry for my loss; it won't bring Jasmine back. Tay will say it too but she'll also try to take my mind off of this bullshit; no matter how pissed she is at me and right now, I needed that. After I dial her number, I was having second thoughts so I took a deep breath, hit the green phone button on the screen, and let it ring; hoping she'd answer.

      "What Chris?! Didn't I tell you to leave me the hell alone the last time you blew up my phone?! I almost changed my number but I thought you finally got the message when you didn't call me again," she yells at me when she picks up on the final ring before her voicemail. At least she answered! "I know. I did get the message but I need you right now... They haven't confirmed it on the news yet but it was Jasmine in that drunk driving accident earlier tonight..." "Oh my God... I didn't know! Is she..." I could tell she didn't want to finish her statement hoping Jasmine was ok. If only she was...

      "No... Tay she isn't... Nayah doesn't have a mom anymore..." Just that alone almost made me want to cry again but Tamar was my rock even if we weren't together. She gave me the strength to keep it together. "Chris... I; I don't know what to say... I'm not gonna say what I should because that won't bring the person back but I will say that this sucks..." "You can say that again," I thought to myself before I responded. "I agree... And thanks for that... I needed it." "No problem," she starts off being interrupted by someone telling her to hurry up before they're late. "Hold on Toni, I'll be right there!"

      Now I know who was rushing her; one of her sisters. I'm just glad it wasn't another nigga she was going out with! "My bad Chris, I'm dragging her out to a 10:00 movie so I should go... Stay strong ok? I would say you could call me anytime if you need me but right now, with the break-up wounds being so fresh, it wouldn't be fair to me or you. I still love you so it's hard to even be on the phone with you right now and knowing that, I can't be there the way you'd deserve." "I get it. Thanks for being honest Tay and just so you know, I still love you too; more than you know." "Bye Chris..."

Flashback Over

      That was the last time I got in contact with Tamar, she really did change her number after that night and less than a week later was Jasmine's funeral. Ever since then, I've been struggling as a single dad. Kae had Drake's baby right after the accident too but that was the least of my worries. My main focus after the FAME tour was my daughter and I just started my new album Fortune; not even winning a Grammy made me want to get back to the music. The only reason I was in the spotlight during this time was if Jasmine was mentioned or if I was sighted with our daughter.

      On social media, I had so many people coming at me; blaming me for the tragedy. Some even went as far saying bullshit like "Just kill yourself! Your daughter would be better off without you and you should've done us that favor after putting your hands on Rihanna!" That's what I meant by Kae and Drake's baby was the least of my worries and why I said goodbye to my Instagram and Twitter for a while. When I returned to them last week, I changed my username from @fuckyopictures. I still post shit but before I scroll through the comments, my management looks first.

      They delete the negative shit and block the users leaving it. Being a father, I don't have time to roast niggas if they say the wrong thing. My ass will do it too; no filter and no fucks given. Anyway, with me working on a new album, I was going to be busy in the studio and everything that goes with promoting it when it's done so I wanted to take Nayah on a mini vacation. I felt it was best to get out of Cali so we flew into Tampa last night so we can go to Busch Gardens today. For once, my baby girl didn't ask for her mom the moment she got me up to start the day so I felt good.

      The sad thing about that was how I think that she finally realized Jasmine's not coming back. That breaks my heart since she's turning three on the 27th. Today however was MY birthday. Considering the tough time I had with my baby mama's death, I didn't see any better way to celebrate than be with my baby girl. No friends or family other than her. After I got the us ready and we got inside the amusement park, we were having a good time. She enjoyed Elmo and everybody on the Sesame Street safari and it was hot as hell so we were heading towards the water ride that I hoped was kid friendly.

      That's when the unexpected happened. I saw a camera crew and I heard a lot of laughing because somebody got drenched on the ride. Ok, I have an almost three-year-old so it's NOT kid friendly. Can't blame a nigga for trying.  We'll just get something to drink on the way to the next kid attraction. Apparently it's called 'Treetop Trails.' Anyway, after I look at my map of the park and start heading in that direction, more than happy I CAN get something to drink on the way, the laughing behind me halts and there was total silence. Then I hear: "O, shit! It's Chris!"

      "Traci would you shut up before he turns around and sees us?! He's with his daughter for crying out loud!" I knew that voice from anywhere and I was hoping that was her but the chances of us being here at the same time, and while she and her family are filming their show, were pretty slim. Unless it IS her... I thanked God as I turned around; seeing Tamar again for the first time in a year. My nerves got the best of me for that reason but I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind anyway: "Hey Tay... Braxtons..." Things just got awkward as fuck but if I get to see her again it's worth it!

Tamar

      I didn't know what to do or say right now... The fact Chris was here out of all places at the same time I was here was way beyond crazy. So many emotions were going through my head at once and I couldn't handle it. Seeing Chris did that to me and I just couldn't handle it. Before I knew it, I was taking off and heading to the RV my dad rented for the day but without hearing my sisters saying: "Tamar!" "Tay; wait!" Right now, I just had to get away. Seeing him with Nayah was too hard and it didn't help that we happened to run into each other again on his birthday of all days.

      My dad noticed I was upset so he stepped off the RV while Chris made his way inside. He most likely left his daughter with my sisters and like I hoped my mom wouldn't, she ended up getting off the RV too so my ex and I could have a moment alone. For a moment, it was silent and it didn't look like either of us was saying anything anytime soon so I broke the ice. It wasn't easy either; I was actually dreading it. That's why all that I managed to get out was: "Happy birthday..." Not "Hey; How've you been and happy birthday by the way," but just fucking "Happy birthday!" Nice going Tamar!

      "You remembered... Thanks." Ok; he's just as nervous! That makes me feel a little better! "It's hard to forget when Team Breezy made the hashtag #CincoDeBreezy because it's on Cinco de Mayo," I reply. "Right... So, how've you been?" "Good... still struggling with finishing my album, but good. I should really be asking you that question though..." This shit was way too awkward. I mean when isn't having a conversation with your ex though? And considering the last time we spoke, I'm surprised I'm the first person to even bring Jasmine up. Hell; I'm surprised that I'm even talking to Chris right now!

      "I just started working on my new album and I'm just now adjusting to being a single father, a year later. I'm ok though... I got a Grammy for FAME," he says taking me out of my thoughts. Him mentioning his Grammy had me smile inside; I was proud of him. He made it back on top after what happened with Rihanna and I couldn't be happier for him. "I was watching, and cheering, when Taraji called your name. I contemplated calling you too, to congratulate you, but after our last conversation-" "Tay... I get it. Now can we cut the bullshit here? Why did you run off like that? Do you hate me that much?"

      For the first time since running into Chris, I started laughing. One, I saw that coming and two, I was pretty much playing with his emotions to get back at him before I made the move that would make us officially back together again. That move was walking  up to him and placed my lips on his. "Don't you get it?! Like I said last time we talked a year ago, I still love you. I could NEVER hate you and you tried it for even thinking that I do," I tell him when I pull away only to be pulled back in. "I missed you too. And I will NEVER hurt you again. I promise. I love you WAY too much to."

      I nod as he pulls me into his arms and I cry into his shoulder. After a moment, I'm done balling my eyes out so I finally speak again. "You better not Chris. I won't be cheated on again and play nice a second time around." I meant that shit too. I stayed when Vince cheated time and time again; which is why I was so quick to leave Chris when I found out he cheated too. I deserve better so I made him hurt from losing me so he'd learn his lesson. I hadn't thought like that until Jasmine's death though; before then, I was done. "I know Tay. So... Can we head back out now? We're at Busch Gardens!"

      As much as I wanted to, there was something I had to do first. I just had to find out how I'd do it. "I-I can't... It's a family day and we've been filming all day so I have to stay with them. I can't just have you tag along with us like this no matter how much I want you to." Chris didn't even have a chance to respond because we heard: "Just go with him Tamar," Trina and Toni said in unison from outside the front door to the RV. "And take Nayah too," Traci adds; confirming how everyone was spying on me. Since they brought up Chris' daughter, I had to do what I mentioned earlier before my mom did.

      "Wait just a minute now, Tamar-" "Momma, I got this. Chris, there's someone I want you to meet. They're in the back sleeping." Now I'm nervous as hell; who knows how he'll react. By the time I start heading to the bedroom to join him anxious to see what he'd do and say, I see him walking out crying and holding and almost four month old in his arms. The sight before me made me weak in the knees too... I was way too emotional. "Tay..." I stopped him there and didn't let him say another word. Not without me explaining myself first so he knew all of the details which he deserved.

      "Before you say anything let me explain. I suspected so the day we last talked, I made an appointment for the day of the funeral. I wasn't saying anything when I didn't know for sure; especially with what happened to Jasmine. When I got it confirmed, I wanted to tell you but I already changed my number and to be honest I was still pissed so I waited. When I was ready to tell you, I just found out the sex in an ultrasound but I knew you were still grieving and had Nayah to think about. With that said, it was more of trying to find the right way to tell you at that point until I went into labor."

      I paused for a short moment and then continued. "That same night, you had that scare with Nayah and her crazy fever. I could've told you then since you were in the hospital once you knew she was ok but that wouldn't have been good timing. The whole time the doctors were working to get her fever down, I know Jasmine's death hit you all over again; that being one of the times you wished she was still here. That and how harsh people can be is why you disappeared with Nayah until the Grammys three months ago. I couldn't tell you then because that would be selfish."

      When I finished, there was complete silence. Now I was waiting for him to either lash out at me for keeping it from him, even though he was going through hell, or be understanding. The smile on his face gave me my answer right away. "I saw your mom that night and she explained everything then let me meet him. She also sent me pictures every chance that she got. The only thing I don't know is his name; she saved that for you." Both of us were crying now, and smiling, as I introduced the two of them. "Then I would like to let you meet your son Trenton... Trenton Maurice Brown."