#sorry this is late! i've been having a rough go of it irl ;;

[bardle]

my contribution to the wandersong secret santa, gift art for Evie / E v of their Wandersong AU OCs Lulu & Chrome!

[py-dreamer]

So... I know I'm late...

But yea! I said I was coming back with some stickers and I kept my word! I would've hoped that I could've completed the sheet in like a day but as you can see...that didn't work out

I know I've been a bit MIA lately but burnout sucks. I do have a lot of WIPS I really want to work on but again, it seems that the ProcrastiNation hath struck my feeble mortal brain again.

But anyways:

I headcanon Aroace Mei, just a personal headcanon (disagree if you like) I also like lesbian Mei but thought I'd give some aroace appreciation

Silktea was only given 1 episode but OH BOY did it fuel our wild shipping habits. And I jumped on the bandwagon. It's a reference to that scene in She-Ra where Scorpia tells Catra she 'didn't want to do this' then wraps kitty up in the blankey and cradles her like a wee baby. And Sandy would do that for any friend, I will die on this hill

Saw a fanart where Mk had a pig nose themed pacifier and I just yoinked that idea. The pig hoodie and the pacifier seems like something Tang would do for Pigsy (also to get away with free noodles cause who can say no to that face?~)

Mac showing Wukong the lantern. What can I say, mans' fascinated by them pretty lights. Though our little performer's eyes seem to be straying from the show (^u ')

I know many people have issues with shipping with Nezha and such and I know the two had a rough history but y'know what fans do; they love to make the people who kill each other soulmates (platonic, romantic or otherwise) Even if it wasn't romantic, I still love the idea of them being buddies and just chilling, the danger noodle prince and the angy prince snuggle and watch a movie (mainly from Nezha 2019 but I also saw New Gods and can I just say, I want those two twinks to bicker then kiss awkwardly and I want Yun Xiang to BEAT. HIS. ASS) but in case anyone asks, I do perceive Nezha to be a consenting adult in general outside shipping drama and if the two are adults, it does make my heart squeal when I see these two hold hands and whatnot

HOW COULD I EVER FORGET MY SPICYBOIS, inspired by that one Ponyo kiss scene. I was actually gonna make a bigger piece but then I saw someone do it already in a much better fashion than I ever could and I just gave up on the idea but Ig here, its just like the two cakes mentality and I gave it a go. Hope I could do the concept justice

Have spider queen or scorpion queen ever interacted before? No. But they are both queens and I believe Spider Queen's confidence could rub off on Scorpion Queen and she'd appreciate the company of Spider Queen's children henchmen. Also she give yummy food so lesbian venomqueens for the win

Redraw of that moment with Peng and Azure. I normally detest that bird but these two do get some gears grinding and whatever anyone says. Neither of those two are straight. I'll tell ya that.

Toxicinsanity is another rarepair that had like 1 sec screen time. I don't think they'd ever work out in canon and had virtually no chemistry. I still love all the fluffy ship content I can find of them though and if it ever were to happen. I think the mayor would scare the sh!t out of Syntax

Let's get at least one hetero couple here, Chang'e and Hou'Yi are a couple of favorites ngl, I took most of their outfits from Over the moon cause both of them looked stunning, Chang'e especially. I've seen people ship mah girl with other people and while I do agree it's healthy to move on, in my heart she will always long for Hou'Yi

Also irl, on valentines, my mum took us out for lunch, she treated us to bubble tea and donuts. We walked home so I waited to drink mah drink in my room while I drew and I accidentally finished it all... I'm so sorry mum

f*ck I forgot ironbull. Uhh....I'll draw something later, rn I need to go to bed before I get yelled at...

click pic for less sh!ty quality!

[dollfacefantasy]

FALLING FAST ♡

pairing: billy coen x fem!reader

summary: after the mansion incident, billy gets caught and taken to a psychiatric ward for the government's problems while they decide what to do with him. lucky for him, you're there too and more than willing to provide some company.

cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, canon typical violence, archaic medical practices (shock therapy, manipulative therapists, etc.), psych ward setting

wc: 7.9k

a/n: heyy sorry this is a little late, i got caught up with some irl stuff you know how it goes. disrespectful especially for the man who inspired my blog's name 😓 umm sorry if the ending is a little rushed i've just been kinda struggling. i hope someone likes this tho. reblogs, comments, and asks are always appreciated <3

kinktober slot: day 24 - forced proximity

The day they brought him into the ward, you could barely believe your eyes. You recognized the man thrashing around in the orderlies' grasp. His face glowed on the television every night when the news came on. Bright headlines zooming across the screen would read U.S. MARINE SNAPS UNDER PRESSURE; SLAUGHTERS DOZENS, or after that BILLY COEN, FORMER MARINE, SENTENCED TO DEATH FOLLOWING MASSACRE.

Obviously, the execution didn't take since here he stood before your own eyes, being dragged down the hallway either to his quarters or the "therapy" room. You wonder if they'd give him electroshock or hydro. Most people believed those methods to be archaic by now, but the overseers of the United States' top confidential psychiatric center didn't seem to hold those same sentiments. Outside, the world approaches Y2K, but between these walls, it could feel like the sixties were ever-lasting.

You didn't see Billy again on that day he arrived. You didn't see him for another two weeks after. You almost started to believe they'd carted him to the back to finish the execution, and then thrown his body out into the woods where the roaming wolves could take care of him.

But then on Tuesday, August 18, 1998, you found him in the common room. 

You bounded around the corner and spotted him right away. He sat in the chair next to the tv. You knew he wasn't watching it. One, because that chair was the most useless chair you'd ever seen, positioned at an angle where seeing the screen is impossible. And two, he looked off into the distance as though his mind was totally vacant. A battlefield where the war had already been lost.

That day had been going great for you. For once the night before, your roommate didn't have night terrors that woke up the entire block of rooms. And this morning, your scheduled therapy session didn't end with them pumping a sedative into your veins. The occurrence of those two rare victories coinciding told you that today was special. Only good things could happen to you during this interval of sunlight.

You strolled further into the room, scanning over what occupied the attention spans of your usual company. They all seemed to be going about their usual rituals: playing games or watching tv, some reading books or just sitting by the window. None of them talked to this new guy. You shook your head as you took in this sight. People could be so rude, but you intended to change that.

Approaching him from the front so as to not frighten him, you came to a stop and tapped his ankle with the point of your foot.

You didn't get a verbal response, but his eyes casted up to you, signaling that he's still in there somewhere. Up close, you could see the light electric burns on his temples. You wondered if they were just from that first day or if it had been more times since.

"Hey, soldier. What's your damage?" you started, giving his ankle another light bump.

Unamused with your antics, he pulled his legs back and looked up at you. His lips curled into an ugly sneer. The expression matched his rough appearance. His hair was so greasy, you thought it could be styled without any product. He had bruises up and down his arms. Your eyes trailed along the one covered in tattoos for a moment long enough to be noticeable.

You almost assumed you were going to get no response out of him until you heard his voice start to rasp.

"Don't call me that." 

He sounded like they hadn't given him a drink since he got here.

Your brows raised at the response. If he wanted you to leave him alone, he'd just made the fatal mistake of triggering your curiosity. You pulled over the nearby bean bag and plopped down in it, the small plush beads parting to support the shape of your body. The way you sat, your legs ended right where his began.

"Where have you been the last couple weeks? I thought they offed you or something," you continued with another few taps to his joint.

Again, a delay came before his answer. You weren't sure if the shockwaves scrambled his brain that bad or if he was trying to mentally size you up.

"They've had me in solitary. I guess they didn't believe I was ready to make friends," he said finally. His voice left his lips low and cool, sounding like he smoked one too many cigarettes to be forever cast as the bad boy in teen romance movies.

"Why? You seem friendly to me," you joked.

"Maybe you should try to convince the suits of that."

His fingers rose to rub the marred skin on the right side of his head. It doesn't look like he's trying to soothe any pain. More-so exploring the new scar to his own body.

"What's it to you anyways? You don't know me," he added.

"I was just curious ," you defended with a shrug, "It's not every day a celebrity joins the group."

He scowled, only a little less severe than before.

"A celebrity, huh?" he asked with disdain, "Didn't exactly feel like they rolled out the red carpet for me."

"Well not everyone gets struck by lightning on their first day," you responded, pointing to the now-faded scars on your own temples.

The mention of something based in your shared reality seemed to ground him a little, as if it served as a reminder that you and him were on the same playing field. He hummed in acknowledgement, sitting up in his chair a bit more.

"They do that to you too?" he questioned.

"They do it to almost everyone. I didn't want to take the meds, so they gave me a stronger prescription," you answered.

He didn't say anything back at first. His eyes fixated on you, studying your features and mannerisms. Assessing you, your place, and your motives. You relaxed your shoulders a little and shook your head in an attempt to appear as non-threatening as you could.

"That was a long time ago though," you said, "Haven't had to do that in almost a year."

"How long have you been here?" he asked.

You held up two fingers and wiggled them back and forth. "Since '96."

His facial expression didn't change though you felt like something about how he looked at you did. Maybe there was an air of surprise now? A hint of pity? You couldn't quite pinpoint it, but you supposed the details didn't really matter.

"What did you do to get put in here?" he said.

"Same thing as everyone else. Saw something I shouldn't have," you responded.

You considered telling him more. More about your past as one of Umbrella's top researchers. About how you dedicated hours upon hours of your life to developing bioengineering techniques for them. How you planned your future around the potential promotions you would earn climbing their company ladder.

But that required that you also tell him about how easily they flung you from the structure entirely. Putting pieces together didn't earn you a private office or cushier paycheck. All you received was meetings that seemed more like interrogations, implied threats, and finally, a new permanent residence at this luxurious institution.

You'd also have to spill what you found. That you found evidence your research was being used in dangerous and unethical experiments that already had a body count. The story you'd managed to string together sounded like something out of a hokey horror movie rather than real life. It wouldn't be one he'd likely believe, and then he'd end up thinking you deserved to be here.

So instead you left it at that. He opened his mouth to ask another question, one that might poke at some of this information you were keeping to yourself. But before he could, the orderlies called the bunch of you for lunch.

You rose from your seat and waited for him to do the same so you could walk side by side to the dining room.

Leaves outside the barred windows shifted in color, fading from bright green to a burnt orange. They clung to the trees in their last days of life as the wind tried to knock them loose and scatter them across the fenced in yards.

However, even with the temperature growing colder, your connection with Billy began warming up after that first day in the common room.

The two of you didn't become automatic best friends after only speaking a few words to each other, but he reluctantly let you linger around him. Close enough to adjust to your presence as a regular fixture. 

You had fun hanging around him. This place got so boring after a while. New additions were few and far in between, and most of them didn't do anything but weep and wallow for the first few months before giving up and letting themselves go numb. They didn't make good company to say the very least.

Billy, in muscular, tattooed contrast, did. Despite his dry temperament and cynical outlook on life, he could be funny. Most of the time unintentionally. He had stories to tell you about the marines and boot camp, even the mission that landed him here in parts. While he could get sick of you following at his heels like a puppy, in a way you made things here more bearable for him.

He let you eat lunch seated next to him. When your group was permitted out into the yard for a while, he'd allow you on the same bench. You'd look up at the same clouds and feel the same breeze blow across your skin. You'd tell him some stories of your own, things about going to school or when you first got your job.

His were far more severe though. You remembered sitting on the yellowing grass with your back pressed against the uneven wood of a wide tree. You had been studying and mentally comparing your feet to his. The difference in shoes - neither with laces but yours had velcro and his didn't. The size. The way yours constantly twitched while he remained still.

The two of you were quiet, letting the sounds of nature and commotion closer to the building fill the air around you. But you itched to talk to him, to find out more about the man you spent most of your days with now.

"If you got out of here tomorrow, what would you do?" you asked and looked over at him.

He glanced at you for a moment but kept his head facing forward. "Why? You dreaming up an escape plan or something?"

"No, it's just a hypothetical," you scoffed, "I'm just curious what would you do if you could get out."

A pause bloomed between the two of you, and you assumed this would be another time he openly ignored you and left your question unanswered. But you made your prediction too soon because moments later he spoke again.

"I'd leave this country."

You blinked at the blunt answer. "That's it? North or South?" you asked, trying to get some more.

"Either one," he responded, "It makes no difference to me as long as it's not anywhere with stars and stripes waving around every couple hundred miles."

The words came out drenched with bitterness, but you couldn't really blame him. From what he had told you about that assignment in Africa, you'd probably want to split too.

"I think you'd be kind of cool like up in the mountains in Canada or something. No one around to bother you and stuff. Seems like it'd be a natural habitat," you nodded, trying to brighten things up a little.

His eyes softened a little and he breathed out what sounded like it used to be a laugh. "Yeah? You don't think I deserve a tropical getaway?"

"It's not that. You just don't seem very beach vacation to me," you smiled.

"Yeah, probably not. I guess the mountains would be more my thing."

"Mhm. Maybe we could go together, y'know? There's nothing left here for me anymore either."

"Really?" he asked before tutting and shaking his head jokingly, "Pretty little thing like you running off with a guy she meets in a psych ward. You don't have any family that would send into cardiac arrest?"

You shook your head. "Nope. No one really stayed on my side after everything that happened. If I got out tomorrow, I'd have no one tying me down. No one expecting me home. I could just go."

"No boyfriend pining for your release?" he teased.

"Not at all. I was supposed to get married, but I guess without the vows, there was nothing tying him to me. No reason to try and help me."

Despite the heaviness of those memories, you beamed at him with the dreamy excitement of running away together. It would never happen, but that was part of the appeal. A dream you'd never have to stress about actualizing.

He looked at you with something close to sympathy upon hearing that, but he didn't say anything. He was never really good at getting sappy. Instead he just nodded and turned his head forward again.

"Alright. I'd take you with me then," he agreed with a smirk.

It was after more exchanges like those that you started to really consider him a friend. Better than any you had before you got locked up here. You tried to think of why that was. Maybe it was because you didn't have to put up any of the bullshit facades you did in the real world. There was no reason to hide anything here. You didn't have to dress a certain way or make sure your hair was styled or your lips coated with gloss. You didn't have to awkwardly laugh when something uncomfortable happened or soften your negative opinion about someone.

In here, the worst had happened, and you lived it everyday. Social niceties had dropped pretty low on the priority list of everyone staying here. Even if sometimes you said something too emphatically or disagreed on an irrelevant subject, neither of you could get away. It brought you closer than you've ever been with anyone. Even the fiance you'd vowed to forget by now.

The day you felt something a little more intricate than friendship for Billy still stands out in your memory.

You were sitting across from him in the dining hall, your foot swinging back and forth in a lazy pattern. Earlier in the day you'd caught the end of a news special. You missed the topic, but you sat there watching a petite woman with her hair in a pixie cut give an interview. Despite her smaller stature, she sported a badge. Her voice was chirpy and hopeful, easy for you to tune out until you heard some words of interest, specifically the words Lieutenant Billy Coen.

She told this naive reporter some story about how he was killed a month ago in the Arklay Mountains. According to her, the vehicle transporting him had crashed and been overrun by adversaries. Despite him fighting valiantly, he didn't survive.

You could almost hear the country's collective sigh of relief. Thank God the snapped soldier hadn't made it. He wasn't lurking in the shadows, waiting for another opportunity to strike. You had rolled your eyes when you heard the story, but it still stuck with you all day.

It bounced around your brain, driving you to ask him at dinner, "So do you think they're still gonna execute you?"

He looked up from his food with bewilderment across his features. "What kind of question is that?"

"An honest one."

After a brief pause, he shrugged. He was never one to find your bluntness off-putting.

"I don't know. They didn't give me a rehab plan or anything," he said, "Why?"

"Well I saw on the tv that they think you're dead anyways. So I don't know... just kinda seems like they might," you explained.

"They haven't said anything to me about it," he told you, "They still got me talking to that doctor three days a week so... maybe they will, maybe they won't. Not much I can do about it either way."

It was then that something struck you. It would be hard to even articulate it, but the way he acted so flippant, so casual about something that was literally a matter of life and death. Maybe he'd been out of control so long that this felt normal. As soon as he gained the freedom of adulthood, he shackled himself under the command of his captains in the marines and the sergeants at boot camp.

From across the table, he seemed to recognize that look. The gleam centered between pity and concern in the eyes of every woman he's let get close. He leaned forward, staring into your eyes.

"You'd miss me if they did, wouldn't you?" he asked with a smirk.

Your heart fluttered inside your chest like a bird learning to use its wing again. That small curl in his lip marked the first time you'd seen some fire in him. A bit of his old humanity poking through the unpleasantness of being confined here.

You didn't see a point in denying his accusation either.

"Of course I would. Everyone else here is totally boring. And we wouldn't get to go see Canada," you said, mirroring his position by leaning your weight on your forearms.

"I'll have to stay on my best behavior then. Not give them a reason to leave you stranded here alone," he teased.

And he stayed true to that assurance. A couple more weeks passed, and everyday the both of you met in the common room. Sometimes one of you had a bad day, injected with a sedative that left you slow and sluggish, talked into something by the doctor that bugged you for hours after. Other times it was just the memories of the past haunting you. The ideas of what could have been. What should have been.

On September 30th, 1998, each of you had already been having a shitty day. For you, it had started early. You took the hour sentence on the stiff couch in the therapist's office. Listened to the normal bullshit the doctor told you about false memories and paranoid tendencies. And at the end of the session, they handed you an envelope.

A small, pale rectangle. Crisp edges and totally unwrinkled from its journey here. It was thin, not carrying anything other than another paper. You turned it over in your hands and looked down at the return address scrawled in familiar handwriting.

Your heart nearly stopped when you placed the swirl in the 't' and the little dip in the 'h.' They'd handed you a letter from the man you were supposed to marry two years ago. The fiance who'd left you in the dust.

The last time you'd spoken to him had been the night heavy boots blew your apartment's door off its hinges and meaty hands strapped solid handcuffs around your wrists. He did nothing to defend you. He was the one who informed them of your schedule and when you'd be home. Either he didn't believe you or they'd paid him off. At the time, finding out his motives wasn't important to you. The betrayal cut so deep all you could focus on was how could this be happening to you.

But regardless, you didn't care all those years ago, and you wouldn't care now. You didn't care what he had to say. Whether he was sorry or curious or anything. That on top of the fact that you didn't even know if it was real. You wouldn't put it past the people running this place to try some tricks like this on you.

You decided not to read it. It ended up in the trash can outside the door before you went back to the common room to sulk on the couch. Billy was already there doing some sulking of his own. Neither of you said anything when you plopped down beside him.

It crossed your mind that maybe you should ask him what's wrong, but you weren't in the mood. You didn't think you could offer anything helpful in terms of advice or support when your mind felt so scrambled by the reinsertion of your past into your present.

The both of you remained quiet for hours as you went through other routines of the day. It wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. Him physically being there was enough for you, and you got the sense he felt the same about your presence as well. Brushing fingertips and the warmth of your thigh against his provided more comfort than any words could.

That evening the two of you had returned to the television set in the common room. The news droned on from the monitor. News about the upcoming midterm elections, a few stories about car accidents or trends in crime.

But that all came to a screeching halt before the sun had even fully set. Breaking news alerts flashed across the screen, illuminating the dim room in reds and blues. Snapshots of Raccoon City lit up before your eyes. News reporters spoke in nervous, quick tones; uncertain words about a rapidly spreading virus that turns people violent. Frantic announcements that residents should not leave their homes but help was on the way.

You watched on in amazement. In a way, it felt like a dream. Something you would have conjured up in your teen years after watching a horror movie. Buildings burned and people ran through the streets, weaving around traffic that was so backed up you couldn't see where the line of cars started or ended.

A pit began forming in your stomach, dread at the realization that this was what you had been onto two years ago. This was what you had failed to stop. Rationally, you knew it wasn't your fault. You understood that it was not reasonable to expect yourself to be able to take on a corporation backed by the government. But it still felt icky knowing you had ever been involved.

The images grew more graphic. Headlines flying across the bottom of the screen became more dire. You watched as people, or what used to be people, stumbled around with mangled faces and blood stained clothing. They chased after others and sunk their teeth into their flesh.

You looked over at Billy after a little longer. He was faring worse than you. This was the first time you'd ever seen fear in his eyes. He wasn't shaking, wasn't crying or starting to panic. But you could still see it. Deep in those dark pupils, he was scared.

His eyes were locked on the tv, taking in every bit of horror being broadcast the couple hundred miles to this facility. You didn't know what to say or do or if you should even say or do anything. There was something more to his reaction than normal anxiety.

All you could think to do was moving your hand over a few inches and clasping his own. Your fingers interlaced with his and wrapped around his palm. You gave it a small squeeze, a wordless reassurance that you had him and he wasn't alone.

You felt the faintest squeeze in return. He still didn't directly acknowledge you, but that was fine. As long as you had that little signal that he was still there, you were ok.

The two of you watched until the feed cut due to technical difficulties and the orderlies made the announcement to start moving to your rooms.

Both of you stood up and headed in that direction. He remained quiet while walking through the tiled hall. You reached the junction where the corridor divided into two, and you would have to go your separate ways.

"Are you gonna be ok?" you whispered, turning to look at him.

He looked down at you and paused like he did when the two of you first met. His eyes watched your face, contemplating his answer. He ended up nodding and muttering a quick "I'll be alright." Then he turned away and stalked off to his assigned room.

Reluctantly you continued the rest of the way to yours, but that night sleep didn't come. You couldn't rest as you processed what had happened just hours ago. It wasn't even the actual crisis that was upsetting you, but rather Billy's reaction. Something had bothered him. Some element of what was playing out wormed its way into his mind and prodded at some memory he'd rather forget.

Sighing, you gazed out the window and then turned your eyes to the night table. You didn't want to stay here. You wanted to be with him. He was the only person you had now who was worth anything to you. What were you doing if not making sure he was ok?

As quiet as possible, your hand reached out and pulled the drawer on the nightstand open. Reaching inside, you fetched the little twisted up pin you'd made almost two years ago. You'd crafted the little tool in your first months here, but hadn't used it since then. You made it to sneak out at night and have some semblance of freedom, but upon venturing outside your room during dark hours, you found there was really no purpose. The main exits had higher degrees of security that you couldn't break and there was nothing special around the ward worth wandering around for.

But now there was.

You grabbed the small bent pieces of metal and slid out from your bed. Padding over to the door, you bent down and jammed the little ends into the keyhole. You fished around for the right springs to unlock the door until you heard the little clicks signifying you were good to go.

Your footsteps didn't make a sound as they retraced your earlier path and headed in his direction. You slipped past the single orderly in the corner office and pranced down the remaining space until you reached another door. The pin made quick work of it like it did with your own, allowing you entry.

It was hard to see anything at first. The room was bathed in total darkness. All you could tell was that it was smaller than yours and only had one bed. You felt his eyes on you though. Apparently sleep had eluded him tonight as well.

He rasped out your name before asking what you were doing. A fair question given the circumstances. You closed the space between the two of you and came over to sit on his bed.

You positioned yourself at his side. Your eyes had adjusted by now to the lack of light, and you could make out the most basic features of his face. You could also tell where his hand was. Reaching for it, you took it in your own just like before.

"I just wanted to check on you," you whispered.

A pause filled the room for a few seconds before he responded. "I'm ok."

"It doesn't seem like it," you said back. You scooted a little closer before deciding to climb over to the other side of his body and lay next to his side.

He grunted at you forcing your body to fit beside him, but he didn't move away. The two of you stayed in place on the cramped twin sized mattress, staring at the ceiling and digesting the unspoken part of tonight.

"It's nothing... it's not anything worth stressing about," he told you. His voice fit right in with the surroundings. Quiet and low, implying a sense of something deeper.

"You just looked really worried. Like... you were scared of something specific. I don't know, maybe I'm just reading too much into it or whatever," you said.

Another brief bout of silence took over the space between your words and his response. In that time, the feeling of his skin against yours became more prevalent to you. You were increasingly aware of the fact that your arm was around his torso and that you could feel the definition of his muscles against your forearm. His arm was also wrapped around your back. It was like the two of you were cuddling, and it didn't feel at all unnatural.

"That stuff on the tv... it's not exactly why I'm here, but it's close," he started, "They aren't keeping me here because of the bullshit I was sentenced for. It's because I saw something at that mansion."

That piqued your curiosity, and you lifted your head to look at him.

"I know it sounds insane," he continued as if you wouldn't believe him, "But I swear I'm not crazy. The shit they had in that mansion... it was like it was out of a goddamn horror movie. And I knew it was gonna spread. I knew that night wouldn't be the end of it. I tried running, getting as far away as I could, but they caught me."

"Do they ask you about that stuff?" you interjected with caution, "The doctor's... do they try to make you think you misunderstood what you saw."

He nodded. So the two of you had more in common than you knew.

"I don't think they'll be trying for too much longer though," he muttered.

Your eyes widen. Your fingers instinctively dug into his shirt like a child clinging to their favorite stuffed animal. "What? Why?" you questioned.

"The way they've been talking lately, I just think they might want to finish the job soon. Now that that shit has spread, I'm more trouble than I'm worth. I don't have any information they would need," he offered.

"But they can't," you tried, "They can't just randomly decide to kill you."

"I doubt it's random," he responded.

You sputtered, scrambling for a response to make this problem go away. You knew they could do this, but you wanted to believe otherwise. It wasn't fair that they could let you get attached to this man and then rip him away so cruelly.

"But... they won't. We can get away. We don't have to let them," you said.

He looked at you with some sadness in the dark. Finally, the slightest display of emotion regarding his own death.

"You got some sort of master plan to bust out of here that I don't know about?" he asked.

You scowled and lightly elbowed his bicep. "It's not a joke," you said, "I won't let them do that to you. It's not right. You didn't deserve any of this in the first place."

"Deserve's got nothing to do with it, dollface. This is just the way it is."

"No," you shook your head. 

You were insistent about this. Maybe your emotions were fucked up from all the drugs they'd pumped you full of over the last twenty four months or maybe your perceptions of relationships had become warped from the severe lack of social interaction you'd had over that time, but even though you'd only known him for six-ish weeks the thought of being without him felt devastating. It was a rush of anxiety and dread. The kind of stress that made you feel like you had to do something.

"They can't take you away from me," you finished.

The way his gaze softened was palpable. He reached up one of his hands and stroked the flat backs of his fingers down your cheek. He didn't like the thought of leaving you alone either. For reasons he didn't fully grasp, the thought of you being isolated here, without anyone or any hope of a future, made him ache. It was a gnawing sensation. One that wouldn't go away with simple distractions.

"I don't want that either..." he murmured.

But you leaned in and clung to him with more intent. You rested on top of his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart that you never wanted to stop.

"They do the same kind of thing to me," you whispered. He already knew about your past with Umbrella. You'd told him that much, but neither of you really talked much about your current treatment beyond the occasional extreme methods you were subject to. "No one ever believed me before, so at first, I thought they might have been right. That I just misread something or went too far with it."

You felt his hand start to rub up and down your back. He didn't say anything to interrupt your little confessional, but you could feel in the air around you that he was listening.

"When I was... When I was supposed to get married before this, he didn't believe me either. I tried telling him. I even said we should just leave. That maybe I shouldn't do anything, I shouldn't say anything. We could've just left. But he didn't believe me..." you said, "I tried to do something or to tell other people, but it didn't work. And when they took me, he just let them. Just left me to deal with it all alone."

You were aware your thoughts were coming out in a manner closer to rambling, but it's all you could manage right now.

"He didn't deserve you then," his voice broke out quietly from above your head.

Glancing up, your eyes scanned his face upon hearing that. You knew the comment was sincere. He had no reason to lie about his feelings toward a man he never met. But still, the remark stood out.

He saw your silence and responded with a touch before any actual words. He stroked your face, looking into your eyes.

"I don't know if that makes it better or worse now, but you deserved better than that. Pretty girl like you shouldn't be locked up here," he said.

"Well neither should you," you responded.

He hummed in acknowledgement. "I guess. But you really shouldn't be. You were a good girl. A smart one. You can be a little wild, but I doubt you got into any real kind of trouble before this."

Two little words in the middle of that statement had you tensing up on top of his body. He could obviously feel it as his hand applied more pressure to try and soothe you.

"I didn't," you answered, feeling like the words needed one.

"Mhm, I can tell. You're too sweet," he said.

Now you got the sense he may be teasing. With a nudge to his bicep, you scrunched your nose. "Shut up."

"I'm serious," he replied in spite of your attitude, "If we met under different circumstances, I would've really liked you."

"Really?" you checked. You hated the way your voice came out. So curious it almost sounded innocent.

"Yeah. You're just my type. Cute. A little mouthy till you get close to someone. Then you're all soft and sweet."

Heat crept up into your cheeks, and you could only be thankful it was so dark so that he couldn't see the timid expression on your features. He pinched the dough of your cheek between his thumb and forefinger, only making the feeling more intense.

"I can feel your skin getting hot. I know I'm right."

"Well I would've liked you too," you fired back in an attempt to turn the tables.

"Oh yeah?" he chuckled.

"Yup. You're tallish. All muscular. Dark hair and eyes. Tattoos. You look like you can ride a motorcycle."

"Don't make me sound like such a cliche," he teased.

Now it was your turn to shrug before scooting closer. "Then don't act like one."

"Smartass," he chuckled, "Even if we had met before, I doubt you could've handled me. I wasn't winning any boyfriend of the year awards with the women I dated."

"That's cause you hadn't met the right one," you said back, not missing a beat, "I could keep you in line."

"I'm sure. Sweet little thing like you would be the one to tame me, huh?" he mocked, "You don't think I'd ruin you?"

"Not in any way I didn't want."

After saying that, you realized how close you had leaned in. Your face was inches away from his. You could hear his breaths and feel the pulsing of his blood beneath your body. You really weren't sure what compelled you, but you brought your lips forward and closed the small gap between the two of you.

Your mouth landed on his, but he responded in kind, as if he had been waiting for the gesture. His lips pressed against yours before molding to reciprocate any movements you made. You could hear the soft grunts he let out as his arms encircled your figure and pulled you even further against himself.

You let out a soft little moan when his tongue brushed over the seam of your lips, a gentle push for entrance. You granted him access and slid yours forward as well. The two of you lose yourself in the series of kisses. As you made out, he slowly made the move to adjust positions, flipping the both of you over.

Your back hit the scratchy sheets that covered all the beds in the ward. In this moment, you didn't care though. The slight itch of them was easily drowned out by the intoxicating warmth of his skin.

His kisses migrated south, dropping from your mouth down to your jawline and then your throat. A sigh left your lips as he tended to your pulse point and artery. He hit all the little sweet spots. His teeth scraped across them tenderly and arousal bloomed between your legs in response.

"Fuck... you're so soft, so perfect," he muttered against your skin.

Your breath shuddered out of your lungs. His touch felt electric on your flesh. Glancing down, you couldn't help but think he looked even more sculpted like this. His shoulder blades twitched every time he moved his head around your neck. His arms trembled as he held himself above your body.

"Been dreaming of this..." you whispered, sliding one of your hands up to rest at the nape of his neck.

"Have you now?" he asked, "You fantasize about me while laying in bed at night?"

"Sometimes," you breathed.

He reacted to the idea with a soft groan. "Cute."

His kisses on your neck grew more passionate, needier and open-mouthed. His hands grabbed onto you. They slid down your sides to your hips where they groped the soft flesh there.

"I've had a few dreams about you too," he admitted.

A moan escaped your lips, but you made sure to suppress it enough to not alert anyone of your activities. You wriggled around a bit below him, trying to signal that you craved more.

"I need you," you whispered.

"I know, baby. Need you too."

He rose back up to his knees, shoving down the sweats they issued everyone and letting his cock spring free. It was a good size, thick and lengthy enough to attract your eyes. It oozed pre for you already. There was no mistake that he wanted you.

You squirmed on the mattress in an attempt to rid yourself of your bottoms before he reached for the waist and pulled them off with ease. Then he lowered himself back on top of you. His tip dragged back and forth across your soaked folds.

Despite only having known him for a short amount of time, this didn't feel like a casual hookup. It didn't feel random or unattached. It felt like something you needed. It felt like you were doing this out of love. Out of the need to be connected to this man who'd captured your mind and body.

He took as much time as he could in that moment. He glided the head of his cock back and forth, teasing the both of you with the anticipation of what you were about to do.

Then finally, he pushed in. You felt the satisfying split as he speared you open. His hips pushed inside at an exploratory, slow pace. A groan rumbled in his chest at the tight warmth wrapped around his shaft. Once he'd sunk all the way inside, his head dropped to the crook of your neck again. His breaths puffed out against you as he got used to the sensation.

It was an adjustment for you too. It'd been almost two years since you had any type of cock. The feeling now was a familiar one, but still something to get used to.

"Had to have a taste of this pussy before they put me down," he mumbled.

You whined and smacked his arm. "Don't say that," you whimpered.

Lifting your legs, you looped them around his torso and pulled him deeper. "You're still alive right now, so don't think about that stuff. Focus on fucking me dumb," you continued.

He chuckled against your neck, but complied with your request. His hips rocked backwards before popping forward again.

"You got it," he grunted.

His pelvis set into a nice rhythm. One that didn't have you screaming and writhing loud enough to draw attention, but to the point that you were satisfied and didn't long for something more.

Your arms laced around his shoulders and pulled him closer on top of you. Your clothes rustled together with every rock of his hips. His hands stayed tight on your body, keeping you flush against him as well. You could hear him panting right next to your ear in between the small pecks he'd leave on your skin.

With how close he was on top of you, his cock slid nice and deep every time. Every stroke brushed against the internal sweet spots that made your hips buck or another whimper spill from your lips.

"When we make it out of here, I'm gonna want you all the time," you whispered with a broken whine.

For once, he didn't mock your display of optimism. Instead, he played right along. "I know you will. And you'll get me all the time."

Your legs squeezed his waist, and he increased the force behind his thrusts, putting more of his weight into each one. He licked a stripe of your neck before kissing down the wet skin.

"I'll do it right for you then. Won't have to be quiet. You can scream as loud as you need. I'll have you filled up till you're shaking and crying," he said.

This time your walls embraced him. You whimpered at the pictures he painted in your head. Your breaths grew heavier to the point that you were panting too now.

He was so deep now that he didn't have to slide back and forth to make you feel good. He skillfully ground his hips against them, rolling them against your skin and rubbing up against all the places that made you keen.

One of his hands wormed its way between your two bodies. His fingers endured the lack of circulation to get at your clit. The rough pads of his fingertips swirled around it, giving the little bud a few good flicks.

Your hand flew to your mouth to muffle the sounds that broke out in response. The sparks of bliss burned brighter into full on flames in your belly. Your toes curled, and your thighs quivered against his sides so hard it was like they were vibrating.

"Gonna cum soon, babydoll?" he rasped.

You nodded from behind your clamped palm. Your eyes fluttered with the weight of your impending release. The sensation boiling down below was close to bubbling over. Your breaths hissed against your palm as you tried to hold off, but he wasn't having it.

"It's ok. You don't have to wait. I'm right there too," he murmured, "Cum on my cock, sweetheart. Make me feel real good."

And after hearing that, you couldn't hold back. A broken cry escapes your lips, louder than you'd like it to be. Your body melded to his with the force of the high crashing into you. Your hands clung to his back while your legs locked around his waist.

A few more pushes of his hips and he was gone too. Sighing against your neck, he pulled out as fast as he could, spurting warm ropes of cum onto your pelvis. His teeth dug into his lip to stifle a few noises begging to be heard.

You both rode out your highs in tandem before he collapsed next to you. He nuzzled your neck, wordless appreciation for you. A silent reassurance that things would be ok. You brought your hand up to gently stroke his forearm in return, signaling that you knew they would be.

And you had been right.

Things around the ward got worse after September 30th. The orderlies acted nervous, as if this place was on the cusp of collapse. Restrictions became tighter, no more going outside and there were bed checks at night.

That didn't stop your feelings for Billy though. Since that night in his room, you only felt more connected to him. Affection in your current circumstances couldn't be overt. It was confined to brief touches and lingering looks, quiet words only heard between the two of you.

The people running the institute had hushed words as well though. They had lingering looks, specifically towards Billy. Day by day, you felt increasingly anxious about the possibility that they were planning something. Your nights filled with dreams of him suddenly being gone. Of him being taken away and left to rot.

There came a day when they announced half the ward would be "moved" though you doubted their transfer would be a mere difference of wings. The men who came in to facilitate the change were armed, riot gear and all.

You grabbed his hand tight, not willing to let go.

The next part you only remember in flashes.

The way they yanked him away, how he tried resisting but was overwhelmed. Then how your eyes darted around looking for anything that could stop them. You knew you grabbed a pistol off one of the holsters attached to a man's belt. You fired without thinking twice. One crumpled to the ground before you ducked out of the way.

That gave him the opening to the same. Bullets rained down across the common room, blood pooling on the tiles you walked over everyday. You moved on pure instinct. So much of the violence was blacked out to you now.

You must have ran. The both of you must have dashed out the front door, stolen in keys in one of your hands. You must have jumped in the car that matched the double click of the lock button.

Because now you're speeding down the road. The wind blows through the open windows across your face. Your feet rest up on the dashboard while one of your hands covers his thighs. The car zips down the road heading North, heading to a place where both of you would have something.

You turn your head and flash him a grin. He gives you a similar expression before putting his eyes back to the road in front.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Sorry, just a vent post, having a Day

all of this is so stupid individually but I just need to shout into the void. don't mind me.

phd stressors are Stressing, and real life sucks right now (just cannot seem to catch a break with anything), so I think I've been putting too much stock in this online space to be a happy place for me.

this is 1000% on me for being a sensitive little baby but I've lost a couple mutuals lately and one even blocked me and I just have no clue why at all, and obviously it's good that they're curating their space and I'm not about to block evade or anything, and if we weren't close enough to to talk much or for them to come to me if I've done something wrong, then it's something I should be able to move on from. Logically I know that, I'm just so sensitive it's unreal. Probably it's because I post too much discourse or something? I dunno, I'm genuinely lost and it's jarring to go from having nothing but friendly interactions to a sudden block.

just. man. genuinely 99% of the time i love being here and reblogging from everyone and making my silly posts and having fun. but today I think I just need to get away for a bit because I'm just having such a rough time irl and it's not helping to be here. I know it's on me for being too sensitive but yeah. not off to a great new year so far

[otakusheep15]

Obey Me Flufftober Day 22

Prompt: Morning

Pairing: Belphegor x reader (gender neutral)

Word count: 246

A/n: This could not be more ironic lol. Morning Belphie would be rough irl, but for the sake of the fluff, I'm gonna make it cute. Also, sorry about how short it is. I've been a little busy the past couple days, so I don't have as much time to write longer fics.

Mornings were easy for you. You could wake up and be ready to start the day almost instantly. And that's how it's always been for you. You wake up early and start your day before sunrise. It's a system that's always worked for you, and you enjoyed it.

Until, of course, you started dating Belphie.

Belphie is the total opposite of you. It's not so much that he's a night owl who wakes up late in the afternoon and goes to bed past midnight. It's more so that he sleeps all day and all night and when you try to wake him up he just rolls over and goes back to bed.

So, your morning routine has been compromised. You still wake up early as per usual, but you can't start your day. When you try to get out of bed, Belphie simply wraps his arms around you and forces you to stay in bed.

It's cute at first, but after a few minutes, it becomes an issue. You can't go back to sleep, as you're already wide awake. You also can't get out of bed because Belphie just drags you back. So now you're stuck her until Belphie decides to show you mercy, which you doubt will happen anytime soon.

In the meantime, you turn around and snuggle into Belphie's chest. If you can't wake him up, you might as well try and relax. He seems to sense this in his sleep and hugs you tighter. It might not be ideal right now, but you could certainly get used to mornings like this.

[scorchieart]

Checking in...

Hello, friends. I know it's been longer than a hot minute since I actually interacted, and I'm still currently on hiatus, but since I spent a sizable chunk of the past 2 years here, I thought it was a disservice to just up and vanish. I typically keep irl issues off this blog as I like to keep it a place that makes me happy, but the past 6 months have been some of the toughest of my life and I didn't want it creeping onto this space. However, it is currently Ramadan; the month of sincerity, devotion, and reflection. And with Spring just on the horizon, it seems a perfect opportunity to engage in some dual mental and physical declutter.

A lot has been going on around the world lately, and it seems like just keeping up with it all is a full-time job of its own. So much so that keeping up with your own life ends up taking a backseat some days. For myself, I have been working through grief and guilt on a scale that feels simultaneously not enough, and yet unjustified. It's a hard feeling to describe in words and I haven't been exercising my writing muscles lately, so I hope you'll excuse me cutting off here. But in talking with and reconnecting with friends this month, I've learned it's a pretty common feeling with no clear-cut remedy, but there are multiple ways to work through it. Prayer or meditation, taking care of your body, sharing your experiences instead of bottling them up. Whatever you do to re-center yourself and your morals. But the first (and I believe the most important) step is to sincerely admit to yourself that you're not feeling well and that you want to improve. That's a difficult idea to come to terms with, but catching yourself midway through a rough patch is monumentally better than letting yourself sink deeper into despair.

The purpose of this post is not to ask for sympathy towards myself, but to encourage you to take a moment to sympathize with yourself. And if you can't do it alone, find someone you trust to give you a hand. It's ok to not be at your best all of the time. Asking for help is not weakness, it reveals hidden strength. If you take anything from reading this post, I hope it is this.

Aside from that, just a few admin things to finish off. Despite me being a techy person, I'm actually rather inexperienced when it comes to social media and online interactions (if that wasn't obvious). First, I'm very sorry for the pileup of tags and DMs and asks that I haven't responded to. I hope to start on them in April. Next, I recently started a new sideblog for multifandom stuff. It doesn't have much on there, but in case you see a reblog from @bird-on-a-branch down the line, that's me. Lastly, if something I said or did was a slight to anyone here, please accept my apologies. Lots gets lost in context online, and as I said I am not the best with these types of interactions, but I won't use that as an excuse if I hurt someone I consider a friend.

Also, thank you to all the peeps on here who've kept in touch, even with just a quick hello or a little joke to cheer me up. It honestly means a lot to me <3 And thank you all for your patience and understanding. Take care of yourselves. Listen to some birdsong, and have a great day.

- Scorchie

[readingismyhobby24]

haaiiii hello faith !!!!! how have u been doing today? anything interesting happen?

ive been trying to finish whumptober day 1 :( i wish i didnt procrastinate but ill probably just finish and upload stuff across this month, november, and december i guess since apparently i can upload stuff late atleast

im getting the sebastian solace plush btw!!!!! hes so cutie i love him i cant wait dudeeeee omg

me and my irl friend hung out today :D we had so much fun, we went to a skating rink and even if i didnt actually skate we talked a bunch :3 me and him see eachother like once a month irl so its nice to see him

heres a few pictures from when me and my friend hung out :D !!!

he drew the cat on my hand :3 i drew the triforce on his lol

i drew a few stars on myself, the will wood icimi album cover, the will wood tapeworm, the triforce, then the karma 1 and the karma 10 symbols from rainworld!

HIIIIIIII NOAH!!!! I'm doing pretty good! I've done a lot of work today, but nothing fun or interesting 😔 I am going to do a TON of drawing soon because I'm going to draw all my mutuals their favorite animals. So, I do need to know what your favorite animal is :D

YOU GOT THIS!!! Can I ask what your whumptober day 1 fic is about? 👀

YAYYYYYY!!!! YOURE GETTING THE SEBASTIAN SOLACE PLUSHIEEEEEE!!!!!! THAT'S SO EXCITING!!!!!

That sounds like you two had a lot of fun! The plushies look like they're having a blast as well.

I'm sorry I never have anything interesting to talk about 😔 My life just hasn't had a ton of fun things to talk about lately. It's honestly been a rough few weeks. But maybe it will get better soon! I have some exciting things to look forward to this month!!! So hopefully I'll have some adventures to talk about!

Thanks for dropping by!!!

[fanaticsnail]

Hello dear, I'm sorry to hear that things have been stressful for you irl. I know you're not all that familiar with me, but I still hope that things get better. All the love to you ♡♡♡ Here's an ask for you: If your favorite character was real and appeared beside you, how would you feel about it? What would you do? And this isn't a part of the ask game, just a question I had in general, but how did you go about starting to talk about and sharing your OCs on your blog? I'd like to be able to do the same, but I've never really done it publicly. It's usually just been among closed-off communities and friends.

Hi there love! It's been a rough little while for me lately, and this has been an excellent distraction. Thank you for your kindness, I appreciate it so much.

Favourite Character appearing:

Aside from the usual: "AAAAAAAA, how did you get in my house, what are you, are you even real, what are you doing here, how are you alive right now?" side of things, I honestly feel like we'd vibe. Offering Brook some tea, milk and a glass of wine or two while we sort out how to put him back, maybe have a jam with music until chef-husband comes home and joins in on drums, would be the way I'd handle it.

OC Sharing

I was very shy talking about OCs initially. The first OC I'd ever created for OP was shared with only one other person - much like yourself, if I'm reading it right. Closed off communities, full of supportive people encouraging and empowering you, was the way to go for me.

On a whim, I made one just for me specifically to practice drawing with on here when I had severe writer's block. I wasn't expecting much of a response from her, similarly to the stories I began writing when I initially started this account. Tobiuo was originally meant to be platonic, but Lionel Richie's "Hello" started playing as soon as the Kid Pirates showed up with that fire-breathing commander.

Sharing OCs still makes me nervous a little bit, honestly. I haven't really, properly written for mine on here aside from silly comics and that one mini fic. I do still only talk about her to a few people, play around with others OCs in the OC discord server. The amount of things I've written and drawn specifically for OC content on there is insane to me - including 'x reader' for others OCs.

While I'm writing a bit of 'x reader' content on here for an October event, I haven't been posting a lot about her on here.

How I went about it

I made a Masterlist for her with a small amount of information, and add to it as I go along. Just a name, age, rank, station, crew, captain, peculiarities, and race. She is so fun to think about for me, and she's truly a piece of my heart I'm sharing with the community here.

I hope this helps, and I'd love to hear about your OCs!

[amysubmits]

Loving your podcast (except the amount of “ums” used in every sentence ;) )! I shared it with my husband as we venture into our dd/ds journey. It’s very refreshing to hear a real couple and their real perspectives from fetish/kink POV’s. I know you’ve talked a lot about your DD and spanking fetish; but how did you actually start/come out to CD about these things? What was his initial reaction?

Sorry for the late reply, I was a bit triggered by your 'joke' about my overuse of "ums". I believe in at least one podcast episode I addressed how I am self-conscious about how I am not a graceful speaker and how it makes editing difficult because I am not a linear speaker or thinker. I lose my train of thought frequently, struggle to find words, etc. So, I do say 'um' excessively, it's way worse IRL than on the podcast as we edited the vast majority of them out. Not all can be removed as it would break the flow of conversation or whatever else. We tried to edit to make things a little more cohesive and easier to listen to. So, yeah, what I basically got from your message was 'this person finds you annoying even when your way of speaking is cleaned up more than 50%' and that's painful even though it's true, I wish you hadn't told me that as I can't really do anything about it, it's just part of how my ADHD or other neurodivergence works. I felt like I should respond to that portion as I'm working on using my voice to defending myself, being less of a people pleaser, accepting myself and having more self-compassion/respect, etc. But I don't want to dwell so, moving on to the far more enjoyable part of your ask!

I think I've shared how I 'came out' to CD at some point in the past but I don't recall what blog post(s) that would have been in. If I come across them later I'll try to reblog for you. It's now been about 10 years since I asked for DD, and I had told CD about my interest in spanking prior to that, though I don't really recall when that was. So, my memory is not super detailed at this point but I'll try to give a general idea.

As wild as this is, he playfully spanked me before we were officially dating. About a week before he'd ask me to be his girlfriend, we went to the grocery store to hang out because that's all that is open in our town after like 7pm so we'd just go walk around the store sometimes when we were friends. And this day I had attended a funeral and I was still wearing a dress but I had switched into some flip-flops so my feet would be more comfortable. And as we're walking around I decided to buy some chips, but the ones I wanted were on a higher shelf and I am short, so I stepped on one of the lower shelves to get myself high enough to reach the chips I wanted, but one of my flip-flops fell off and he grabbed it while I was still up on the shelf and used it to swat my butt. I think basically in response to seeing that he was open to that sort of play (literally meaning play, no sexual connotation) I started leaning into that sort of play fighting, play wrestling kinda rough housing stuff with him and I'd slap his ass to get him to retaliate. He'd always do this harder, so I'd fight back harder, and I think it was after we were officially dating, but it eventually advanced to him using my belt on me over my pants! But it was all very giggly and playful. In hindsight, this sort of play probably should have made it clear to both of us that we were playing with spanking as a kink but it was never overtly sexual so I had compartmentalized it as just, innocent play. Haha.

I'm REALLY guessing here, but I think we had probably been dating at least six months before I actually told him I was into spanking. He's always had an easier time being open and direct with conversations in general, but especially sexual ones, than I have been. So pretty early on he would try to ask me questions to get a better understanding of my sexual interests and what I liked, basically. I had a lot of shame and anxiety around my sexuality and my kinks and had no experience with being open about anything like that, I found myself sort of just getting awkward when he tried to get me to talk about things like that, and so he never pushed too hard. I knew that spanking was a meaningful part of my sexuality but I was so young and naive still that I thought this was like a one in a million type of kink to have. So for a while I thought it was so weird that I would just never be able to tell him or anyone as it was so 'freakish' in my mind. But as our relationship progressed and I felt safer and safer, it just felt less possible to keep it from him. So eventually I did. I don't remember exactly what I said, sorry. I know that when I spilled the beans, I said something like 'I hope you don't think I'm weird' or gross or a freak or something like that, idk exactly. But I know his response to me was essentially "What? no….that's hot!" which was SUCH a relief because I was so in love with him and it would have been devastating if he was judgemental of it. I believe he also said something to make me think that being into it wasn't nearly as weird (I guess what I really mean is rare) as I had believed it to be. At this time, I had not yet come across the idea of DD, so really all I shared was I was into spanking as that's basically all I knew.

After finding that out, he'd smack my butt while we were doing sexual things but I didn't really enjoy that much so that didn't last. A few years later I came across the idea of DD online and shared that with CD. He was curious but also had some concerns and a lot of questions. He didn't feel like I 'needed' rules and worried that giving me a rule would cause me to break that rule to get spanked which was a dynamic he didn't want to create. I didn't really have good answers to his questions, and I also was still deeply ashamed of these desires so it made it hard for me to have conversations about any of this. I'd even try to avoid saying the word 'spanking' out loud which was really confusing. In hindsight, I just clearly was not ready to engage with any of this stuff because I couldn't talk about it clearly enough to keep things safe. And I didn't realize that, but thankfully, he did. So for a while we'd occasionally talk about it but he'd raise the same questions that I didn't have good answers to and so I'd get awkward and embarrassed and end the conversation and it wouldn't be brought up again for a while. But over time we worked through some of the questions and concerns enough to feel comfortable giving it a try, except we couldn't think of any good rules at first. But then one day I lost my debit card again, which was a recurring problem for me, and it occurred to CD that it might make a good rule so he suggested it as our first rule and that's how we started.

And since then it's been a whole lot of communication and learning as we go, adapting regularly to insight we gain into ourselves and each other along the way. :)

[eatinurgutz]

hi there honey! sorry for such a late response. i am currently on my bed, kicking my feet while i type this. 🤍 id love if you were by my side always. these past few days not talking have been so difficult for me. id love all your attention.. i crave that. like, yes, please hold me and run your fingers through my hair and press your beautiful lips to my head…

my dear, id wait a million years if it meant i got to see you. im glad you feel the same 🤍 eee, the thought of you loving me, the real me, gives me butterflies. i hope you’re right. i truly hope you’re right.. oh my dear, your compliments leave me speechless. i am flushed.. 🤍 and no, i’m lucky to have you. you are so kind and thoughtful and silly.. I am lucky. my goodness, a wedding already? well.. if you insist, i suppose. 🤍 i would love to come down in a white gown to you. after we get married, you could carry me to our bed, and we could lay together as husband and wife for the first time! oh how wonderful.. id love to just trace masterful art over your skin, run my fingers over your arms and back… i just wanna know if your skin is as soft as i think it is 🤍

oh my dear… you are my everything. i don’t think you truly understand. the moment i met you, i knew i had to make you mine. i have stalked your messages, watched your mannerisms, even lurked (and spoke) in conversations that you’ve had on love letter.. every time you speak there, i look up your name and i read every message you’ve sent. i need you.. i don’t know what i would do without you. baby you’re stuck with me. ill never let you go!!!! 🤍

hmmm.. alright, i think i have a few more questions.

1. do you enjoy reading? what’s your favorite book, if so?

2. favorite Christmas movie? :)

as a gift to you for being gone so long, ill answer any question you have for me in honesty. 🤍 obviously, it must be a question i can answer without completely giving myself away… i wont tell you who i am. you’re a clever one, you’ll figure something out 🤍 i love you my dear. till our next chat.

coco ☕️

I'm gonna respond to this since i didn't get too, last time. (due to my breakdown)

Being by your side would mean everything to me. We could do anything you want and we would do everything together! Im sorry its been difficult for you, please talk to me when you can if you need to vent!! I'll always be here for you-! I do try to respond to these when i can, but i don't get the notifications for some reason. . . Only when im in the app. </3 i do try to check constantly, Because i love when we talk! I've never been really big on giving affection irl but i would do it all for you. I would wait one billion years, if i had too. If i died, i would follow you around as a ghost. <3 No matter who the real you is, I'll love all of you, coco. Hhh. I think I'm lucky to have you. I haven't had people be so nice to me or say i have a good personality. It feels nice to be loved or wanted by someone, and it feels even better because its from you. :) We wouldn't have to worry about a wedding right now. . . When we're older we can think about that, okay? :3 Yes, i would love to just lay by your side and be with you. Even in silence! My skin is quite soft but it gets rough when i don't put on lotion. :") It feels good to know you care about me so much to do all those things, dear. Although i don't use LL anymore, im glad you care enough to want to know everything im doing. If i did know who you were, I'd do the same. 🤍 As long as I'm stuck with you, thats completely fine with me, coco.

01: i do enjoy reading, yes. One of us is lying - kate (?)

02: Not sure i have one, but i really like the old Rudolf one. :)

I do have some questions myself.

1: what is your timezone?

2: favorite anime(s)?

3: favorite holiday?

[thenexusofsouls]

{i am the caretaker of souls} Hey guys... I'm sorry, but I just don't have the muse to be here this week. Work was really rough with grading and other unexpected issues, and now I'm looking for a new job because I've been told I may get laid off in the next few months. That's taken up my free time and mental energy and caused a lot of stress, so my muse for some characters/blogs is low. Also my weekend plans have been changed like eighteen times in the past couple days so I'm trying to juggle work, writing, holiday baking, and whatever else around my changing irl schedule, heh. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere, I just might be messing around with my rp schedule in the next few weeks until things settle down.

I'm going to be over on my Thursday blog, @tarnishedxknight, for a little while tonight, because my muse for that is really strong and it's like comfort writing for me at this point, haha. My scrambled egg brain demands writing that is easiest for me to do right now. XD I will try to make an effort to be here next week since I know I've been skipping here a lot lately.

[loucifersbitch]

Oof what a fucking miserable week it was 😅 ngl, I've had some rough few days irl, but participating in these and seeing what my friends post always makes me feel good, so I'm here!

Between Fuck it Friday and Inspiration Saturday, I have tags from @alyxmastershipper @spotsandsocks @ajunerose @rogerzsteven and @shortsighted-owl ✨ I appreciate all of you so much! I'm making progress on chapter 2 of I'm Not Sure How I Was So Blind, so here is my moodboard for the fic as a whole and a new snippet 💚

Eddie's pulled out of the memory and back to the present by a crash behind him. He's out of his seat and moving before he even realizes what he's doing.

There's a sticky trail of orange juice wending its way across the cafeteria floor and a goopy mess of oatmeal next to a cracked bowl lying uselessly at the feet of a nurse who looks like he's ready to either evaporate from embarrassment or cry from exhaustion. His tray hangs limply in his hands, small droplets of leftover orange juice sliding toward the ground.

The nurse is familiar, and Eddie realizes he's one of the many ICU nurses on Buck's team. Victor? Vance? Something like that.

“Hey,” Eddie says, grabbing the empty tray just as - Eddie glances at the ID tag dangling from his lanyard - Vincent lets it go. “Let me help with that.”

Vincent blinks and shakes his head, furrowing his brow in confusion. He sways a bit as he mumbles, “Sorry, man. I don't know where my head is right now.”

Eddie nods and grabs Vincent's elbow, nudging him toward the table Eddie has just vacated. “Here, come sit down for a minute.”

He gets Vincent settled and wonders if he should clean up the spilled food, but when he looks up, he sees it's already been taken care of, a young man waving him off with the handle of a mop.

Eddie pulls his pen light out of his pocket and starts checking Vincent's pupillary response. “How are you feeling today, Vincent? Dizzy at all? Lightheaded?”

Vincent squints. “Aren't you a firefighter?”

“Yes,” Eddie smirks, “but I'm also a trained medic.”

"Oh, great. Hot and competent. Just what I needed."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, Vincent looks horrified. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say that."

Eddie hums. "Are you on any medications? Or have you changed anything in your routine lately?"

"Um," Vincent starts, looking like he really has to concentrate on his answer. "Yes. Yeah, I started a new antidepressant. Do you think that's it?"

"It could be. Are you having any other symptoms?"

“I've got a rash on my chest. And I've felt nauseated most of the day.”

Eddie nods. “Okay, yeah, I think it's safe to say you're experiencing some adverse effects. Is your doctor here in the hospital?”

“Yeah, yeah, she's here. I think she's here today.”

Vincent moves to stand, but Eddie holds out his hands to stop him. “Whoa, hold on. Why don't I walk with you?”

Since I'm so late to this I won't bother anyone with tags, but if you wanted to be tagged and haven't, then consider this your sign 😉

[monterraverde]

Rex's Gardening Service here.

Loamy Soil:

You deserve to be nicer to yourself, and do the things that make you happy. I've watched the way that you and your writing have changed since you've come to Tumblr, and it's been one hell of a ride. I'm seeing you bloom into confidence, I'm seeing you become comfortable in your space, and I'm seeing you being enthuastic about your muse. You're loving what you're doing, and that's what matters at the end of the day. Thank you for being my friend, for being patient with my ups and my downs, and for cheering me on. I'm cheering you on too, even during this rough patch I've been having. And I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO HANGING WITH YOU IRL ONE DAY!

The RPC is better with you in it.

Sun Light:

I have gone on so many rambles about Rika before, I'm going to switch it up a bit and focus on your D&D skills! It's so much fun playing with you, as a beginner I really admire how fluid your play style is, and how creative you are with your build. It definitely inspires me to look at my book and challenge myself to be less nervous about the game. You're a great DM too! I hope to see you run more one-off sessions in the future. Really, I look up to you, and hope I can be as great as you in the game one day.

Drizzle from the watering can:

Talk about something you like about yourself.

Soil: JKFJAS What kills me is the confidence thing has been brought up by so many people lately- Like my therapist and a couple other friends- and I dont??? I don't see it;; Maybe it's the imposter syndrome, idk, but holy shit I CANNOT WAIT FOR OTAKON NEXT YEAR. I need to work on my Rika cosplay before then lol.

I will not compensate my muse for anyone, though, this is her now, and I love the direction she's going in.

Sun: Playing D&D is all about experience, and really looking at stuff that synergizes when you're looking at builds- But honestly, the only thing that matters is if you're enjoying playing your character.

The only way to get more experience is to play, and you're already blossoming into a wonderful player. Maybe when I come to stay for Otakon I can run a short game for you with my screen and everything? I have a fun concept in my pocket for things like this lol.

Drizzle: Legitimately cannot think of anything. Also I hate bragging;; Sorry haha

[taegularities]

ah Rid Rid Rid i missed you 😭🧡 there's so much i wanna cover, i tried do catch up on all you've been up to and my god honey i'm so sorry that you were feeling down 🫂 it's absolutely okay and understandable because tumblr is not the same, engagement is not the same and it does get lonely here, i wish you wouldn't have to encourage anyone to give feedback for what you post, for teasers or ideas but i'm really hoping that it did and does help 🥺 I AM ABSOLUTELY 100000% EXCITED FOR CMI AND YOUR WIPS, there're so many times throughout each day when i think about you and your stories and lately cmi has been really occupying my thoughts bc i try to imagine what's gonna happen 🥹

and happy birthday to taegularities 🧡🎉💫 i'm so amazed that you've done so much, wrote so many stories and have this community here, love, you deserve a huge applause for those 2 years and i wish you all the years to come (as many as you want) to be happy, colourful, full of lovely messages and feedbacks, and the least lonely, like at all 🫂 I CAN'T REMEMBER EXACTLY IF I FOLLOWED YOU AFTER READING JUST CHANGES IN BETWEEN OR RIGHT AMOUNT OF WRONGS TOO but i felt so much in my heart, i was hit instantly with this sense that my heart knows your type of storytelling as if it was my own thought, emotion, i'd never felt this much connection with any writing ever before and i instantly followed you, i knew i had to eat up every word you'd written and i'm on this journey ever since, following taegularities back then was the best i could've done on tumblr but months later i set up this new blog and decided to show myself to you and it's the close 2nd place 🥹 as for many it took a lot of courage but you know it already i adore you and you're so amazing and lovely and so worth leaving the comfort zone to be able to show you the appreciation and love we have for you 🧡

ah godddd with that being said i'm so so sorry that i've been mia so much, and not responsive to what you've been putting up, i have to catch up on the 2nd cmi teaser and i'm waiting for a better time to write you a feedback of silk&stones that it deserves BC IT DESERVES A LOT OF AMAZING WORDS 😭 it's just a rough time for me in every aspect bc i'm moving this week (and i always hate doing that) and i'm managing my last days here with my mum that i love dearly, andd.. i'm gonna start a new job that i got, in a week and a half... it's not exactly in a place that i've wanted but it is the new profession that i said i wanted, so i'm excited that i can start working in that new field and learn and maybe later end up in a place that i'd want 🙏 but i'm also extremely nervous bc it's very new and not what i've studied for all those years 😂 so i'm just very overwhelmed but i know that i will come back as much as possible and try to be active (lowkey i'm checking if you're alive daily 🫶) and catch up and also be here to support you 🧡

I'M ABSOLUTELY NOT GOING ANYWHERE

so sorry for this being so long to everyone, love you Rid so so much 🧡 i missed you really, how's the situation with your new job? and how're THE DATES??? I'M SO NOSY AM I NOT 😈

C! HI, I MISSED YOU, TOO !!!!! ahhh, thank you 🫂 things (not just on tumblr, but irl, too) are still not the way they should be, but i've decided to not be too negative about everything and just vibe. i want to show y'all my best side, but i'll still always be honest about everything. i've also been talking to my mom a lot and doing stuff irl, so that helps a bit. you do so much for me, though, c !! i'm so so thankful for every message, every review and every lovely comment from you. and i know how much you love cmi, so that's definitely inspiring and helpful when i lose faith in myself or my writing 🥺

gosh, yes happy birthday to taegularities 😭 !! i'm genuinely so thankful for this lovely community... i don't think i'd still be here without you guys <3 so thank you. and gosh, whether you came after cib or raow, i'm just so damn thankful that you're here. your presence has been a great comfort. i'm worth leaving the comfort zone? i'm so so happy to hear that, and so happy i can provide such a safe space for you 🥺

and don't apologise about being mia at all !!! god, you've been doing so much, i'm so proud of you for powering through it all. a new place to live, a new job, are you kidding, that's amazing !!! please take your time with the teaser, feedback or any writing at all, you sound hella busy 🥺 i hope you get to relax properly very soon, and that you rest and hydrate enough. manifesting a good time at your job and an even better place later on !! thank you for checking on me btw 😭 i'm, surprisingly, still alive :') </3

my new job is probably going to start in april! i sent an email accepting it just today, so i'll see how that pans out. and the dates ugh. we went iceskating last week and it was genuinely beautiful. but rn, tbh... we're on a break, and not really talking to each other, bc he said a few things that don't align with my thinking and mentality at all, so... no particular updates so far. i'll let you know what happens in the future, though :') i love you, dearest c <333

[izabellwit]

🤡😈🎢✨🎶🍦💖🎯👀✅💔

im sorry im sending so many of these feel free to ignore some if you already got em <3

these answers got kinda long so dhjfgj under the readmore it goes!!

🤡What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

Hunter manages to shove all the junk into one corner and make the start of a fairly presentable bed in the other corner by the time the human re-arrives in the Boiling Isles and throws open his door hard enough to smack it against the wall.

“You took my advice!” shouts the human, at the top of her lungs.

“Hiiiiii,” says Hunter, hands over his ears. The human takes a deep breath. Hunter closes the door in her face. “Byeeee.”

(From this fic!!)

There's a lot of lines I've written over the years that make me laugh, but Hunter and Luz as a funny sibling duo…. Every time I reread this fic I giggle at this scene. 

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

OH ABSOLUTELY there's a few lil ones… I think the one I do most often is namedrop other fandoms/charcters? This happens a lot in my KH fics. Like I'll have a TWEWY reference or character show up for like one second and then never again. Just for funsies and also flavor and also bc I love twewy. 

Sometimes I will also set up scenes specifically to make readers think the worse happened/some guy died or whatever and then it gets revealed its something funny instead. I do that a lot too djhsfgkj

🎢Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

LABYRINTHS OF THE HEART. I love all I've written but nothing will ever come close to Labyrinths. It was freshmen year of college and stuff was happening irl and that fic just. Went places. I had so much fun with it.

✨Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

AAAA. UM. Oh god. Uhhhh I think I do pretty well with characterization / character voice? Also a lot of my fics I write for me and im always very happy with them… they are exactly what I wanted to read. Does that count??

🎶Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

YEAH. For certain fics I'll make a whole playlist, even! As for a song on loop.... this one! Inkpot Gods by the Amazing Devil never leaves my brain haha

🍦What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

Ohhh gosh. Okay so its either Klee meeting the knights of Favonius or Hyakkimaru and Dororo comedy fic hjdfgkjgh

💖What made you start writing?

Oooo I gotta think about this one... hmmm, I think, I've always been a daydreamer and as a kid I used to be annoyed I couldn't "reread" my daydreams like I could my favorite books?? so I decided I just had to write them down eventually I think jhdfkgj

Of course in my mind before i could write down my ideas I had to actually get GOOD at writing (kid brain. My logic is silly, write whatever and whenever u want, u do not need "skill" to get started but ANYWAY) that's also how I started writing fic, for writing practice!! And now years later I'm still at it haha

🎯Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

Oooooh, a lot of readers in Labyrinths guessed the final plot point, which is that Varian will become the moondrop… most of my fics don't tend to have major twists though, I think…? There's one other fic I've written that has a HUGEE twist, but it hasn't been revealed yet and no one's guessed it yet, so ;)

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

i have a player and xehanort on the island fic in the works (exploring his possible childhood, character study and legacies kinda thing), and its still veeeeeery rough draft (like. basically still just notes) but I do have this exchange!!!

-do you think they’ll like me?

-who?

-the friends from my dreams. I’m not— do you think they’ll like me anyway?

-of course.

-but how do you know? What if they don’t? What if— what if I go out there and no one—

-he stops. He doesn’t know where he was going with that.

-silence. And then his teacher leans forward, and holds him close. I love you, they say. I love you very much.

-that isn’t what I asked.

-but it's my answer. They press a hand to his head. You’ll understand, one day. 

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

The above exhange: "i love you / that isn't what I asked / but it is my answer" has actually shown up in a few fics! It's a common theme I guess u could say... its a conversation that means something to me and I think it is changed slightly by the context of every story, so I keep bringing it in jhdfgkj

Other things that crop up a lot....Found family for sure! Uhhh the phrase "rolling the thought like candy on [their] tongue" shows up a lot without my meaning it too djhfgjkh

Oh!!! Honey!! Honey shows up a lot. I think honey is fantastic. Did u know it lasts forever? Also it has great medical properties--Anyway I think you get the idea haha

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27801085/chapters/68061658 hehe

Anyway. The woods whispering fic may be completed but I think about the fucked up found family relationships in that fic 24/7. The moment i posted the last chapter i had to stare at a wall for a bit haha

[painted-doe]

I've been recommended to read The Barnes Files, but I see it's been a WIP for... a while. Do you have plans to finish it? I don't mean this to rush or pressure you, just want to know if I should subscribe and read when it's done or if it's better to consider it may not be completed in the foreseeable future and decide from there.

Thank you and take care!

Hi anon, thanks for asking! Yes, I absolutely do have plans to finish it! I have pretty solid rough drafts for at least three more chapters (or possibly more... gulp), plus about 5000 words of a standalone side story about Raynor and her own struggles as she takes on the best and worst patient of her entire career: Bucky Barnes.

(Also, I am absolutely tickled that someone recommended my work!!! Major heart eyes over here. Please let them know how much that means to me.)

On a more serious note, I'm truly sorry I haven't been more active in the last few months; my IRL work has drained every last drop out of me this last year, including my creative energy, and I've been struggling with my mental health. I love my job, but lately it's taken way more of me than I'm comfortable giving. (Glad to say things are looking up now, but... ugh, employment. The worst. If only writing stories about my blorbos came with a pension and benefits...)

Anyway, I really appreciate this ask because it's a very gentle, polite nudge in the bum to get this damn thing done! I hope I'm not biting off more than I can chew with this promise, but I am going to try to post one chapter of The Barnes Files every week for the rest of the year -- that should get the fic polished off.

Anyone else struggling with their WIPs want to jump on this bandwagon with me? Make a pact to post once a week for the rest of the year? I'll help you if you help me!