#sorry this is ROUGGGGGH

[suguwu]

do you think your llo universe would work with the roles reversed? i think it's much better with sae being the one who disappeared and rin picking up the pieces but do you think rin could have been chasing sae and their dream and not realized he has a child? sae being the one to pick up the pieces would be an insane change of pace and would still be very very heartbreaking i feel.

hi anon!

honestly, i think you make make almost anything work in fic if you try hard enough! i do think it makes more sense to have sae being the one who disappeared because of the way the relationships play out and how they connect with each other (specifically rin's somewhat implied confusion about whether he likes llo!reader for her or if it started out as wanting what his brother had). BUT! it could definitely work in reverse!

i think the thing i would have the hardest time explaining is sae's decision not to tell rin. in llo, rin's animosity towards sae helps him overcome that particular moral qualm, whereas sae doesn't have that drive regarding his brother. and let's be real, sae isn't exactly the type to do what he's told just because he's told to do it. keeping your secret would be an inconvenience to him, and i could see that altering the fic.

BUT AGAIN! WE CAN MAKE IT WORK! maybe sae never really saw what rin saw in you. until he comes across you carrying a child with rin's eyes on your hip. you turn on your heel and try to disappear down the little alley draped in vines, moss climbing its way up the bent traffic sign at the very end of it.

sae follows without thinking about it.

you whirl around. your eyes are blazing; you cup the child to you protectively. you bare your teeth. "what do you want, itoshi?"

sae watches you for a moment. your fingers tighten in the powder-blue fabric of your child's shirt, crinkling the pressed material. the baby shifts in your grip, babbling and batting at your earring.

"does rin know?"

"don't ask questions you know the answer to."

he blinks.

you're fiercer than he remembers, your fangs whetted sharp. you'd always been polite, deferential. distant in a soft way, the way the horizon melts between earth and sky.

something in him stirs.

"goodbye, itoshi."

"wait."

you glance back over your shoulder; he can just see the baby's eyes, too, the color of the tropical sea, a burning turquoise. so like his brother's.

"give me your phone number."

"no."

"i can ask rin for it, if you'd prefer."

frost creeps over you, a cobweb of winter. sae watches it harden you; how it dims the flame in your eyes.

still, you bare your teeth as you give it to him.

"i'll call you."

"i wish you wouldn't," you say, your voice a crack of thunder. "i don't need an itoshi in my life."

he glances at the baby. "i think you already have one."

your lips flatten into a thin line. "goodbye, itoshi."

you disappear into the settling night quickly. sae watches you go.

he doesn't have a lot of time in japan, this trip, but he thinks he knows exactly what he'll do with it.