#sorry this conversation happened at some point you can’t tell me otherwise

[bluexiao]

#this is it. let’s breakup.

—breakup prank gone wrong // a request by anon

CHARACTERS. Albedo, Alhaitham, Ayato, Cyno, Scaramouche, Xiao; gn! Reader

THEMES. Established relationships; angst turn to fluff; hurt to comfort? some might be viewed as suggestive i think. calling scara “kuni”

NOTES. i don’t condone breakup pranks but since someone requested this and i have not written about this yet, why not? (p.s. i don’t think i held back in this one that’s why i’m a bit late) @ineshapanda thought I should mention you in this one

“From now on, you and I don’t exist.”

There is something about ALBEDO’s experiments that made you grow into the habit of making one yourself.

But you’re not really a famous alchemist like him–you weren’t even one as your experiments were in the form of a prank instead. This he grew accustomed to as he had been a victim to most of them. And so, it would not be much of a surprise if this one too is a prank… or if he chooses to believe in it…

“May I ask why?” he tries to lengthen the conversation, mind tinkering and pondering over what had happened the past few minutes, hours, days, and weeks. Did something go wrong? “I don’t think… I could follow, love,” he adds on, making sure that you could hear his sweet musings, hear the soft plea that was laced in his voice despite not telling it outrightly.

He listens to every word you said–the “explanation”. He tries. But why was it difficult to focus? His mind was racing, and he did not know what to say, what to do just to solve this–to salvage what could be instead of just throwing it away.

But… is it right for him to be so selfish? To want things that seem to be impossible at this point in time.

Or did he miscalculate something? Was there a missing piece that he missed or left forgotten? How could he know? He wasn’t human.

And maybe that was what you needed.

“I see,” he looks away, on the ground where he could only see your feet, avoiding the look on your face when all he had ever done was admire them before (always), but now, he could not bare to see the distant look from them. Because if this was a prank, how could it feel so… real?

“But I refuse, I’m sorry,” he looks at you with determination, even more so when you face him with a surprised look, “I refuse to forget what you and I have. As much as I can’t force you to feel the same… you can’t force me otherwise. But…” he trails off, then stepping forward ever so slowly, making sure he wasn’t intruding your space enough for you to move away.

He smiles softly, “I still love you. I will still love you. That is why I can’t forget about you. So please, don’t ask me to do so.”

┌───────── · · · · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

“I’m tired, ‘haitham. Let’s end this now.”

Like AL-HAITHAM, you liked planning—at least, that was what you had realized you had grown into liking after being in a relationship with the guy. On the other hand, your unpredictability is something he still is left astonished with—challenged is one word for it as well.

The moment he looks up at you from his book and stares at you intensely, you knew the battle had begun. Your will to accomplish this plan or his own—does he even have a will? Well, unconsciously, you just wanted to do this prank on him to check it, to verify the questions in your mind that were left unanswered—does he really love you? Still? Enough to fight for you? You were too curious, you’d say. But honestly, you were pretty anxious.

He discards his book and stands from his seat, gaze glued onto you as he watched your every move, just as much as you did his. “Is that what you truly wanted?”

At that moment, your heart thumped. Because he seemed like he knew, and even if he didn’t, he had every right to know.

“No,” you frown, looking away, “of course, I didn’t want to. Why would I want to do this?” Now, it wasn’t even the prank that was speaking. They were your truth.

In the end, he was still the one who was better at these things–planning. But it didn’t matter, not when it had reached this point of no return.

“But I feel like I had to,” you let out, jaw tensed and voice hesitant, “or else I would eventually burst… and I don’t know what I would do by then.”

You feel his arms around you, a hand letting you press your head on his chest, and there, you heard it, felt it—his heartbeat, thumping so loudly and quickly that you could match it with your own.

“I’m sorry that it reached this point,” he says, one hand caressing your back while the other still holds the back of your head, “I want to talk about this further… should you allow it.”

The soft “Okay” made him let out a sigh of relief, his embrace tightening.

┌───────── · · · · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

“Ayato… I don’t think we’re meant for each other.”

AYATO, for one, is not something you could easily fool. Most especially you.

Secondly, he knows you–very well, at that. And so, this will prove to be much of a challenge to you, you knew it right from the start.

You just did not expect the air to grow so… tensed.

“You almost had me there,” he forces a smile, stepping your way as he attempts to divert your attention to the way he touched the side of your face, the way he leaned in (and let you have a whiff of his favorite perfume) and the way he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead, “I had missed you too, darling.”

“I’m serious, Ayato,” you furrow your brows, trying your best not to fall for his antics, but also feeling the uncomfortable pressure in the atmosphere. What is this? Was your plan… working after all? Or were you just imagining things when he was right here smiling with his usual smile on his handsome face, “I don’t want to force this anymo-”

“Shh,” he leans into you once again, right next to your ear, “shall we talk about this more, love?” He hurries, a gentle kiss on your cheek, “Please?” His soft plea made your heart thump, and before you knew it, you were nodding and he was sprinkling soft kisses on your neck, as if a silent gratitude to your answer.

┌───────── · · · · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

“You’re joking” were CYNO’s first words, right after you told him the words “My feelings for you changed… Cyno.”

You must have been infected by the way he would joke a few times (most of the time); with a stoic face and voice, eyes ever so piercing that one could not tell if they were to laugh, shiver, or run away.

This time, it was you. At least, that was what Cyno thought (hoped, prayed, decided).

“Y/n,” he calls for you, “this is a joke. Right?”

You looking away from him prompted a sudden distress in the pit of his stomach. (But in reality, you were just too intimidated by that look in his eyes) “I want an explanation. Your feelings could not have changed all of a sudden without something to cause it. So what is it?”

Your silence made him grow weary.

He deflates, “Love? Tell me the truth,” he softly whispers, a hand reaching the side of your face and effectively making you look at him, “are you certain? Did your feelings for me truly change?”

You bit your lip and crunched your eyes, shaking your head no. His shoulders immediately ease up and a sigh leaves his lips.

“So… you were joking.”

“I… Cyno-”

He presses a kiss on your lips, looking at you pointedly, “Promise me you won’t do that again, or I might just inflict punishment upon you.”

┌───────── · · · · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

The WANDERER may look and act so tough on the outside, but the turmoil that is in his mind is not something that he would like for anyone to see.

Especially you.

It is dark, hollow, filled with past betrayals that he sometimes forgets… but will always follow him in his dreams. Only when he listened to your words, your voice, and your feelings did he truly relish in the feeling of peace and the light that you show him. And so, that was why he decides that he should never let you show his vulnerability (despite you already knowing what they were), he was determined to hide the things that would make him look… weak. Worthless.

He could not afford to have another betrayal. Losing you… would destroy him.

So when he heard the words “I’m sorry, Kuni. I can’t keep my promise to be with you forever anymore.”

“You’re lying. Or you lied to me,” he answers so suddenly that you can barely think, sending you a pointed look, “it can only be one thing.”

“I… I’m not lying, Kuni-”

“Shut it,” he looks away now. No. It couldn’t be… right? Did he make a mistake? Did he unconsciously show you a side of him he promised to never show? Are you perhaps on the brink of death? Or did you just… grow tired of him?

He couldn’t even notice you stepping towards him and looking at him with troubled eyes, then reaching out until his eyes snapped to yours when he felt the warmth of your palms on his cheeks, finally letting his attention fall onto you—your light, your brightness that he craved… and had.

At this point, he wanted to hold on tightly to you, to beg you to never let him go, to ask for a second chance.

His eyes water, and despite his persistence to not show you this side of him, his lips quiver, and his whole body aches.

“Anything but you.”

Your eyes widened as you suddenly felt his arms around you, face slotting into your neck, opting you to let go of his cheeks and hesitantly snake onto his own waist. “Please. Anything but you,” he begs, pouring his heart out as he clings onto you as if his life depended on it—because maybe it did. Maybe it will break him—destroy him. Maybe he couldn’t be who he is anymore if he loses someone like you.

“Shh, baby,” you hush him, letting your palm rub his back, “I’m sorry, I will never say that again… I’m so sorry, Kuni.”

“You…” he could hear his voice shake (and normally, he hates it. But his mind was foggy, and his whole body was refusing the idea of being away from you), “you won’t?”

“I won’t. I promise.”

His hold on you tightens. “Good.” His huff made you want to chuckle, but you held it in as you silently told yourself to never do a prank anymore… at least not something as big as this.

┌───────── · · · · ꒰⚘݄꒱₊

XIAO knew that you grew yourself to pull off a couple of antics here and there–a trait of a human, he supposes, as a couple of humans he knows had such a personality (there are just some who did not know how to do it in moderation). And apparently, he thought you knew the limits of such an act. He thought he could believe you most of the time, as you were one of the few he had grown to trust despite his resolution not to in the first place.

Just like now.

“I don’t think I can handle this anymore, Xiao. I think… we should part ways. I’m sorry.”

Xiao couldn’t think. The room… suddenly felt too small, too suffocating, too much. Just. Too much.

“I’m gonna go-”

“Wait, Xiao!” he stops from his tracks with one foot across the other, frozen, hands trembling, body shaking, mind scrambling on to places—dark, dark places that leave his body with a cloud of dark flames.

“Xiao, no-wait! I didn’t mean to-”

“Then what does it mean?” he refuses to face you. He couldn’t, “If you want me to go, I will go. I will… respect your wishes and you will never see me agai-”

He cuts himself off his words as soon as he feels your arms on his waist, effectively stopping him from teleporting away from you, from disappearing from your sight forever, until his death catches up to him.

“No, that’s not what I mean… please, Xiao, stay.”

He grits his teeth as silence slowly rises. He melts when he hears your broken sobs, slowly facing you without having you remove your arms around him. And by the time he could see your face, his determination crumbled into a million pieces beneath your feet. “Tell it to me one more time,” he raises your chin so you could remove your eyes from the ground into his, “tell me to stay, and I shall stay.”

“Stay, please?”

He scans your eyes with his golden orbs, all before pulling you into one long kiss that prompts the both of you to relax in each other’s touch, the world disappearing around you and the earlier scene fading into the air.

You both pulled away in a gasp, and he was catching your lips once again, eyes gazing into yours, “Do you still love me?”

You wordlessly nod and he pecks you again.

“Tell me you still love me.”

You lean onto his palm that now holds the side of your face, “I love you.”

He kisses your neck. “I love you too.” He whispers, then, the racing heart inside his chest and the embers of his karma finally calming down.

reblog and comments are appreciated <333 mwah!

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[l33bang24]

OMG It’s You… (Part 5)

YouTube!Fem reader x Stray Kids

Summary: Y/N’s YouTube channel is taking off after her reactions to Stray Kids MV God’s Menu. Now she’s making videos nonstop along with working a full time job. What would happen if she got offered a job of a lifetime and met the boys of her succession?

⚠️Warnings⚠️: Lee Know scolding his Hyung, talks of feeling guilty, jealous, frustration, crying, family issues, Chan and reader not feeling good enough, Chan feeling like a bad leader, teasing, comforting, talks of mental and emotional abuse

🏷️: @laylasbunbunny @weirdowithaphone @silverstarburst @jusanontstuff @anxiousskylar @drewsandsebastianswife @amararosesblog @niaalove (Taglist open)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 2.5 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 6 Chapter 6.5 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Third Person POV

Chan, feeling guilty, had been standing outside the Maknae/Lee Know’s door. Ever since he himself got onto Felix about being so obsessed with Y/N’s channel, his little Aussie brother has been avoiding him. The only time he interacts with Chan is when he has to, otherwise he avoids him like the plague. It didn’t help that his mind kept replaying his conversation with Lee Know after said dance leader came over to talk to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flashback

Lee Know has been pacing back and forth in front of his only Hyung. His emotions were all over the place. Chan’s eyes were following his every move. He was waiting for him to explode. He knew it wouldn’t be much longer before he did. Lee Know finally speaks up. “Do you know what I walked into, mmhm? Our son crying, because not only did his brothers tease him, but his own Father got onto him about something he can’t control.” He stops pacing and Chan’s body stiffens. His eyes were wandering all around Lee Know, trying to gauge what his next move is going to be.

“I’ve told you time and time before just how sensitive he can be when it comes to her. You and I both just how easy it is to get attached to something or someone. Yet you let your emotions control your actions and you took it out on someone. Did you even apologize like I told you to?” Chan looked away, making Lee Know scuff. “How am I not surprised?” Chan goes to open his mouth, but Lee Know stops him. “I don’t care how stressed out you are about this new comeback.” Lee Know finally sits down beside his Hyung. “Look, you know that I will always support you and have your back. I’ve always looked up to you Chan Hyung for how much responsibility you take on for us, and I know it’s not easy being the leader of a group. Sometimes you forget that you’re not alone and you have people who want to help you.”

Chan nods his head, trying to keep his tears at bay, but even his younger brother can see he’s struggling. Lee Know surprises his Hyung by wrapping his arms around him. At first Chan didn’t know if he was just imagining it or not, but then Lee Know speaks up. “Are you going to hug me back or not? Because I will pull away.” Lee Know teases him and that’s all Chan needed before he returns the hug. Chan lets a few tears slip from his eyes, holding on to Lee Know. “I’m sorry Min. You’re right, I do let things get to me. I guess the fight between them too was my breaking point.”

When Lee Know finally pulls back after some time, he looks up at Chan. “I know, but just remember that I can help you. You’re not alone.”

End of Flashback

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They ended up staying like that for a while. Lee Know telling him that if he apologizes to Felix, then that should fix the problem. At least he hopes it will. Finally knocking on the door, Lee Know opens it. “That took you a while.” He teases his Hyung, making said Hyung roll his eyes playfully. “Is he in his room?” His other half bobs his head. “He’s been in there for a while. He’s come out to eat, but then goes back to his room.” Chan acknowledges him before going over to his little brother’s room. He knocks on the door and hears movement inside. Footsteps reach the door before the door knob turns, revealing Felix.

Felix, seeing his oldest Hyung, goes to close the door, but he gets stopped by Chan. “Can we please talk Felix?” Before Felix can respond, Chan continues. “You don’t have to say anything. I’d like to apologize to you if you’ll let me.” Felix knew that he couldn’t avoid his leader forever, so he lets his Hyung in. Chan enters the room, taking in his surroundings. He could see that he’d been playing a game, but he had been listening to Y/N’s channel. He sighs to himself. Chan places a bag on his nightstand filled with goodies.

“I know that I can’t win you over by food, and I don’t expect you to eat it. I was at the convenience store and picked up some things I know you like.” Chan moves to sit on Felix’s bed while Felix goes to sit in his gaming chair. Chan looks down at his hands before saying what’s on his mind. “I shouldn’t taken my frustration on you.” Felix is avoiding eye contact with Chan and wringing his hands together. Chan continues, watching Felix closely. “With everything going on and me worrying about things I can’t control, the argument you had with Seungmin just topped it off. I let my own emotions control my actions and I shouldn’t have. It’s not fair to you.”

Chan wants to hold his little Sunshine, but he’s afraid he’ll make things worse than it already is. Then again it’s not like Felix is making it better either. He knew that avoiding the impending confrontation wouldn’t go away on its own. Felix takes a glance at his leader to see that he’s struggling too. Chan’s never exploded on any of his members before, especially not Felix. He knew that instead of trying to make things better for Felix, he made it worse to point where he’d locked himself in his room crying. When Chan learned this from Lee Know, he never felt as guilty as he did now. He’s always had this feeling like he fails at being a leader, but what he did to Felix really pushed him over the edge.

Chan looked over at the video Felix had been watching. It’s the same one that Felix loves. Chan didn’t express just how much he loved seeing her. The only one that knows is Minho. The dance leader found his Hyung crying while watching that video. Everyone knew, especially his members, how hard of a time he went through while training for those 7 years. He’s told everyone that his members saved his life and his members know this all too well. When he first found Y/N, he felt this emotion in his chest and it didn’t feel like happiness. He felt like she was trying to copy him and he didn’t know how to feel about it. He held some kind of resentment towards her, but one day it all changed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chan had been trying to avoid watching Y/N’s videos, but it was as if she was everywhere. From his FYP on TikTok to YouTube, even Instagram. From his members to the Stays that wouldn’t stop talking about how wonderful she was. It was as if the Universe wouldn’t leave him alone. He couldn’t escape from seeing her beautiful face and those gorgeous y/e/c eyes that haunted him every time he closes his own. He could almost hear her contagious laughter in his head. You’d think he was going insane and needed to be put in an asylum.

He’d had enough with all of it. At this point he was ready to throw his own laptop at the wall. He couldn’t focus on the task at hand anymore. He’s never been this frustrated about someone he’s never met. She’s everywhere he goes yet not there in physical form. He wishes he could find some way to get rid of her, that way he could focus on making music for all these comebacks that are coming up. It didn’t help that all of his members were talking about the latest video she posted.

Finally having enough he forcefully pushes himself away from the desk and it’s down on the couch in the studio. He sees that she just recently posted a new video within the last hour or two. It had already gotten over a million views and 300 thousand likes. He presses down on the video before watching it. She shows up on the video and she looks like a wreck. Eyes bloodshot, nose and cheeks are red and puffy, tears flowing down her cheeks leaving tear stains. She looks like she has been crying for hours. Her hair is a mess, she’s wearing baggy clothes. But one thing that stands out to Chan is she’s wearing a Stray Kids hoodie while holding the Wolf Chan skzoo plush. All of Chan’s frustrations go flying out the window and he’s fully focused on her.

Her lip keeps quivering then she just breaks down and cries. All the times he’s seen her, she’s always smiling and happy, but he’s never seen her like this. He’d give anything to be there with her right then. To hold her and tell her that it’s okay. He doesn’t know who or what caused her to be like this, but he’d do anything to find out and make them pay for upsetting her. She gets up to grab a box of tissues to blow her nose. She had some snot running down from her nose, but he didn’t pay it any attention. “I’m sorry.” She finally says, lips still quivering.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” Chan finds himself replying, though she can’t hear him. “I won’t lie to any of y’all and say that I’m okay, because I’m not. Everyone has problems in their life, including me.” She laughs a little. “I never wanted for any of you to ever see this side of me. But today had just been the worst.” She goes on to explain how broken her family is and that she always seems to be caught in the middle of the chaos. She talks about how her mother took her passive aggression out on her for years because she was the only child that wanted to visit her father after their divorce.

She was never physically hurt but was mentally and emotionally abused. How it took years for her to understand what actually happened to her while she lived with her mother and siblings. What caused her breaking point was an argument with one of her siblings and how no one ever seems to understand her. She had cried all the way home and even broke down when she got home. “Moral of the story, everyone has struggles in their own lives and everyone deals with them differently. So please don’t be like me and hold your emotions inside. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel sad. It’s not okay to feel like you’re a burden, because you’re not.” She lets out a shaky breath and Chan can’t remove his eyes from the screen. “Did I want you to see me like this? No, because I know that there’s people out there who will mock me saying that I’m just doing this to get attention. I’m not like that. I have problems just like everyone else. I’m not a robot, I’m a human being that has emotions too. I just act like everything’s okay, but in reality I’m not.” She holds tighter to Wolf Chan. “I hope everyone has a good rest of your day. I will see you all next time. Bye.” She tries to smile and waves with her hand that’s not holding Wolf Chan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You like that video too, don’t you?” Felix looks up at his Hyung seeing him staring at the computer screen. Felix looks at him and nods his head. “It seems I’m not the only one. Lee Know Hyung likes it too.” Chan’s eyes widened, “That’s his favorite too?” Felix nods his head. “He’s never told me that.” Chan replies back to Felix. “He told me when he came to comfort me. I didn’t believe him at first, but when I looked at him I could see he wasn’t lying.” Chan drops his head. ‘Maybe we all like this video.’ He thought to himself.

“I thought you didn’t like Y/N’s channel.” Chan goes to ask him why he would think that, but Felix beat him to it. “Come on, Chan Hyung. We all could see that you didn’t like her from the start. Every time she got mentioned, it was as if someone had kicked Berry. You can’t tell me that you liked her this whole time. What changed? Why get mad at me when the other members were talking about her too?” Chan closed his eyes trying to pull himself together. ‘I guess I wasn’t good at hiding my emotions like I thought I was.’ He thinks to himself.

“A lot happened.” He feels the bed dip beside him and he opens his eyes to see Felix looking at him. “Tell me. Please.” Chan nods before explaining everything. From his frustration with hearing about her all the time to the jealousy he felt because of her. To the video that changed his perspective of Y/N and all the stress he’s been under from the company. He laid everything out there for Felix, hoping that it would possibly explain why he’s done what he did. “I will always regret coming onto you instead of taking a step back and thinking things through. I didn’t realize until it was too late and by then I upset you when I shouldn’t have. I don’t want to be the reason why you cry, but I was. I’m not asking for forgiveness, but I hope you know that I will never to that again.” Chan feels arms wrapping around him and respirates by wrapping his own around Felix. He tightens his arms around him afraid that Felix will disappear if he loosens his arms.

“It’s okay Chan Hyung. I didn’t help any either. I should have talked with you sooner rather than later.” Chan shakes his head and pulls back just enough to look at Felix’s face. “Don’t. The person in the wrong is me, not you.” He grins at Felix, and Felix smiles back. “Did Lee Know did you that the company will let us send Y/N one package or letter each?” Chan’s smile widens and bobs his head. He had been excited when he heard about that. He pulls back completely before replying. “I did. What are you thinking about sending her?” Felix looks around his room. “I’ve been trying to figure that out for a while but I’m stumped.” Chan moves to get up. “Well don’t think too much about it. She’ll love whatever you give her.” Felix agrees. “Wait. What are you going to send her?” Felix asks his leader. Chan smirks. “I guess you’ll find out when she opens the package.” He winks leaving his room.

(A/N: Stray Kids get to send the reader one package or letter each! What do you they they’ll send her? 🤔)

[makeitmingi]

The Greatest Gift Of All

Genre: Romance, Idol!AU, Fluff

Pairing: Seonghwa x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Reader, Boyfriend!Seonghwa and other Ateez members. 

Summary: When you just wanted a small intimate birthday celebration with all the boys, of course your boyfriend has a few tricks up his sleeve to make it more special. But what he doesn’t know is that he is the greatest gift you could have ever asked for. 

Word count: 3.6K

“Happy birthday!” The boys all wished as you entered the dorm shared by Seonghwa, San and Mingi. They had all decorated the living room and put out loads of food. 

“Aww, thank you guys. I really love it.” You smiled, grateful for all their efforts. When your boyfriend had asked you what you wanted to do for your birthday, like go to a fancy restaurant or stay at a fancy hotel for a short vacation, you surprised him by requesting to just celebrate your birthday at the dorm with the other Ateez members. 

“Happy birthday, princess.” Wooyoung hugged you, kissing your cheek. San grabbed his collar, yanking him back.

“You’re lucky hyung didn’t see that or he’ll get angry. Again.” San shook his head, lecturing the shorter male. Wooyoung just gave an unbothered shrug, he wasn’t going to be intimidated. 

“You were mine first.” Wooyoung flirted.

“Speaking of... Where is Hwa?” You looked around, not having realised the most important person wasn’t here. 

“Right, let’s sit first.” Yeosang guided you to sit on the couch while you blinked in confusion. What was going on? The sudden silence in the room and serious demeanour of the boys made you worried.

“What happened? Did something happen to Hwa? You guys are scaring me.” You were now panicking, wondering if something happened to your boyfriend and they were not telling you. Hongjoong clicked his tongue, slapping the back of Yeosang’s head. 

“Yeosang ah, you can’t just say that to her, you’ll give her a heart attack.” Hongjoong scolded.

“Sorry.” Yeosang rubbed the back of his neck. 

“So, you know how you have a favourite Seonghwa?” Yunho asked, breaking into a wide grin. You frowned slightly at his question, unsure of what he was asking you. 

“Favourite Seonghwa? What are you talking about?” You asked. Wooyoung dug into your pockets, showing your wallpaper. 

“Oh... you mean, Halazia Seonghwa. I don’t have a favourite Seonghwa, I like all Seonghwas.” You chuckled, feeling your cheeks heat up. 

“Your phone wallpaper, computer wallpaper, contact photo says otherwise. And all the times you randomly bring up how good looking he was in the music video and the performance.” San mentioned.

“Shut it!” You squealed, covering your cheeks. You didn’t think you gushed that much, thinking you’d like to have some sort of cool persona around the boys. But all of them knew about your odd obsession with that one look of your boyfriend during a certain comeback era. You just thought that stylistically, the hair and outfits fit him very well. 

“We’re side tracking. There’s a surprise for you. Close your eyes.” Jongho redirected the chaos back to the main point of the conversation. You did as you were told, closing your eyes. 

“I swear, if you guys bought some lifesize Halazia Seonghwa body pillow, he’s gonna get jealous and kill you guys. Even if it is him.” You pointed out. 

“Like that one year Yunho got you his body pillow?” Mingi asked. 

“Everyone was getting Yunho body pillows that year.” You shrugged. Even Seonghwa got one later on his birthday from Yunho. But Seonghwa made you put yours in the cupboard. 

“You still haven’t told me where Seonghwa is.” You reminded. 

“I’m right here, baby.” Seonghwa’s soothing voice flooded your ears. The smile that came on your face was an involuntary reaction to him. You opened your eyes with the plan to jump into his arms to hug him but you just gasped.

“S-Seonghwa.” You covered your mouth, unable to hide your shock as you took a step back. 

Standing in front of you was Seonghwa, in his Halazia outfit. The exact one that he wore in the music video and was wearing in the picture you had as your wallpaper. He had his black hair styled and make up done the same way, looking like he literally stepped out of the music video. 

“Baby?” He smiled with a tilt of his head. The only difference was the black hair and the fierce expression and persona Seonghwa had in the music video was replaced by his loving smile and soft tone as he spoke to you.

“You broke her, hyung.” Wooyoung stated, stifling a laugh. Maybe he was right, your brain felt like it wasn’t really forming a coherent thought. 

“Baby? Are you alright?” Seonghwa put his hands on your arms as he shook you gently. He let out a nervous chuckle. Maybe for some reason, you didn’t like the surprise.

“I-I need a picture.” You finally recovered, scrambling for your phone. 

“Sure.” He nodded, opening his arm for you to standing with him. 

“No, I need a picture of you...like this... on your own...” You gestured with your hands for him to stay put. Wooyoung handed you your phone that he took earlier. Seonghwa stood there awkwardly, not expecting you to take solo pictures of him. Mingi and Yunho peeked over when you were just standing there with the phone.

“(y/n) just took like 200 photos.” Yunho announced. You slapped his arm for exposing you. San led you forward and Seonghwa tucked you under his arm for Hongjoong to take pictures of the two of you together. 

“Gosh, this is so embarrassing. I’m like a crazy fangirl.” You mumbled. Seonghwa turned to look down at your flustered face.

“Breathe, baby. And fangirls won’t get to do this.” He cupped your face with both hands and gave you a peck.

“Yuck! Get a room!” Jongho yelled. 

“Dream come true, isn’t it, (y/n) ah? It was my idea.” Wooyoung raised his eyebrows proudly. You wanted to curse and thank Wooyoung at the same time for making you feel like this.

“For that, I will forgive to fact that you kissed my girlfriend earlier.” Seonghwa said, glaring at the younger. 

“You like the surprise that much?” Seonghwa’s eyes bore into yours as he stroked your head. You nodded, hiding your embarrassed face in his chest, feeling the fur of his outfit tickle your skin slightly. You couldn’t even meet his eyes. His chest rumble from his laughter.

“Stop teasing me.” You hit him with your clenched fist.

“Alright, alright. Go ahead and eat guys. Thanks for celebrating with us.” Seonghwa said. The moment he said that, it was like unleashing hungry puppies as the boys piled on the food.

“Yeosang, you can’t cut the queue!” Mingi scolded as Yeosang cut in front of him to take a piece of chicken from the tray. 

“Hang on.” Seeing the others distracted, Seonghwa pulled you to his room. He sat on his bed, pulling you into his lap, his arms loosely rest around your waist.

“Aren’t you not going to look at your boyfriend?” Seonghwa continued his teasing, dipping his head down to make you have eye contact with him. You just coughed and looked away.

“You’re adorable, baby. I didn’t think me dressing like this would get you so flustered.” He chuckled. 

“You know this is my favourite era and look...” You mumbled. 

“If I change out of it, will you finally look at me?” Seonghwa rested his head on your shoulder, trying to act cute. You could practically feel his breath against your neck and cheek. A part of you didn’t want this to end, you wanted to continue seeing him like that. But of course, Seonghwa was still your Seonghwa, whether he was dressed up or not.

“One more picture?” You held up a finger like a child. He chuckled and nodded his head, letting you take another picture of him. He surprised you by grabbing your phone, kissing your cheek as he took the selfie. 

“Cute.” He smiled, sending himself the photo. You had a stunned look on your face in the picture. 

After Seonghwa changed into regular clothes, you wrapped your arms around his neck, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him properly.

“As much as I love Halazia Seonghwa, I will always love my Seonghwa the most.” You smiled, giving him another kiss. He squeezed your waist lightly, nuzzling your cheek with his own. 

“Happy birthday, baby.” He wished. The two of you went back out to join the others before t hey could eat all the food. 

“Thank you all for putting this together.” You thanked them again, touched that they would do this for you just because you requested it. But that’s all you wanted, to spend time with them because they were like your family.

“Don’t thank us. Of course we would celebrate your birthday! You’re always doing so much for us.” Hongjoong said. 

Yes, you were Seonghwa’s girlfriend but you also took care of all of them. You visited them often, bringing homecooked food to them since they really couldn’t cook. And you made sure all the fridges in their dorms were stocked with side dishes and snacks. 

“I haven’t done much, really.” You blushed. You stood with Seonghwa at the food table. He pointed at the different dishes as he held the plate for you, asking what you would like to eat. 

“My mum made the marinated crabs and marinated anchovies you like.” He said, putting some on a separate dish for you. 

“I’ll call her later to thank her.” You grinned. 

You had a great relationship with Seonghwa’s family as well. They treated you like their own and his mother was also constantly sending food over to you, reminding Seonghwa to ensure you’re well fed. 

“What Seonghwa hyung do you want for your next birthday?” Wooyoung asked, nudging you.

“I’m so not telling you.” You scoffed. Seonghwa came and sat between you and Wooyoung, being a little possessive since Wooyoung could be touchy with you. It was just in his nature to show physical affection to people that he was comfortable with but Seonghwa knew that Wooyoung did it deliberately to tease him sometimes. 

“Ah, hyung!” Wooyoung whined as he had to scoot backwards.

“I know! You like Bouncy biker Seonghwa hyung with the grills, don’t you?” He snapped his fingers. You didn’t reply him but Wooyoung knew you too well to know he was correct.

“Here.” Seonghwa ignored him, holding a piece of chicken for you to eat. You smiled and leaned forward to take a bite. 

“Make sure you’re eating too, Hwa.” You laughed, turning to talk to Hongjoong. Seonghwa watched you talk to his members, he loved that you all got along.

The day Seonghwa introduced you to them, he was so nervous. But the boys all loved you and were very accepting of you. You instantly clicked with all of them and most of the time, were even part of the chaos.

“The video of Hongjoong reluctantly kissing Hwa’s cheek on that show has gone viral.” You showed the others. Hongjoong facepalmed while Seonghwa let out a sigh.

“Why do you have it saved?!” Yunho laughed. 

“(y/n) is the only person I know who ships her boyfriend with another person. She even has a folder for Matz videos and fan edits.” Yeosang shook his head. 

“Hey, some of those edits are really nice and cute, alright? Especially with that whole mom and dad of Ateez thing. Honestly if I wasn’t dating him, I would be convinced that the two of them are dating for real.” You admitted. The 99 line boys and Jongho all laughed, nodding in agreement. 

“Woosan or Matz?” San asked. 

“Ah, of course, it has to be Woosan!” You answered without hesitation. The boys all adored that you were just as much of an ATINY as you were Park Seonghwa’s girlfriend.

“Yes! That’s the way. Woosan always wins.” Wooyoung clapped and cheered, doing the Woosan handshake with San. 

“Alright, kids, let’s clear up the area before we have some cake.” Seonghwa stood up. You all obeyed, splitting up to do different clean up tasks.

“Not you. You sit, baby. It’s your birthday.” Seonghwa sat you back down. 

“But I can help.” You pouted. He patted your head, leaning over to kiss you temple before going to the kitchen to help the others. The leftover food was neatly packed into containers for the boys to bring back to their dorms. 

“How has university been?” Yunho asked, coming to sit with you when he was done with his task. 

“Now we’re getting close to our examination period so it’s been busy. That means I don’t get to see Hwa as much as I like. Hopefully as we get the end of the year and the holidays come, my workload won’t be too bad.” You winced. You were currently studying in university, getting your Masters degree in pharmacy and public healthcare. 

“That sounds tiring.” He sent you a sympathetic smile.

“Being an idol is tiring too.” You giggled. Seonghwa was very supportive of your education. He always reminded you of how proud he was of you studying hard on your scholarship. 

“That’s true.” Yunho nodded. Seonghwa always wanted you to put your studies first, even before him. He knew how important it was to you. 

“Happy birthday to you~ Happy birthday to you~ Happy birthday, dear (y/n)/ baby~ Happy birthday to you~” The rest of the boys came out singing. Seonghwa carried the cake with the lighted candles.

“Make a wish and blow out the candles, baby.” Seonghwa said. 

“Okay.” You clasped your hands together and closed your eyes. You wished for all the Ateez boys to always have good health and to always be safe. 

However, as you opened your eyes to blow out the candles, Mingi and Wooyoung blew out the candles in a quick puff. You just stared in shock, not expecting them to have done that.

“Yah!” Seonghwa put the cake down and yelled at the two mischievous boys for robbing your chances to blow out the candles. 

“It’s okay, Hwa.” You assured with a giggle. Seonghwa sighed, a little disappointed that the chaotic children messed up the more significant part of any birthday celebration. He handed you the plastic knife, at least you could have the first cut of the cake. 

“Who wants cake?” You asked. The boys all raised their hands excitedly. Seonghwa placed the paper plates and plastic forks down. After you put the first slice of cake on the plate, Seonghwa took over.

“Have the first slice, love. I’ll do the rest.” He said. You nodded, taking the first bite of cake.

“It’s really good.” You melted. With Seonghwa busy serving the other members, you took a small piece and fed it to him. 

“Here, let’s share a bigger slice.” Lastly, Seonghwa put a new bigger slice on your already empty plate. His arm rested on your waist as you shared the slice of cake, alternating between feeding him and yourself. 

When the cake was finished, the boys gave you their gifts and left the dorm, wanting to let you spend some alone time with Seonghwa. San and Mingi offered to stay at the other dorms tonight to give you and Seonghwa privacy but you assured them that it wasn’t necessary. The only plan the two of you had was to cuddle and sleep. 

“Goodnight. Thanks again for tonight.” You bid Mingi and San goodnight.

“Ah, enough with the thanks.” Mingi waved you off. San waddled over and gave you a big bear hug. Mingi joined in, wrapping his arms around you and San, making you laugh.

“Goodnight. Sleep tight.” San smiled softly. You waved before going into Seonghwa’s room. You changed into one of Seonghwa’s shirts and a pair of shorts you left the last time you stayed over. 

“This is from me.” Seonghwa handed you a small wrapped box.

“Hwa, you didn’t need to. Spending time with you and the others was enough and Halazia Seonghwa’s appearance was already an even more amazing present.” You said.

“Ah... Just open it.” He sat beside you, resting his hand on your thigh. You opened the wrapping and recognised the box.

“Seonghwa, this is too much. I can’t accept this.” 

“What are you talking about, silly? You don’t even know what it is yet and you already don’t want to accept it. See what it is.” He laughed. You opened the blue box and saw the rose gold ‘S’ necklace that was encrusted with diamonds. You softened at the sight.

“D-Do you like it?” He asked nervously, worried that it was too tacky or sent the wrong message. When he dragged Hongjoong to the Tiffany store, the captain had mentioned that it might seem a little over the top. 

“I love it. ‘S’ for Seonghwa. Thank you.” You wrapped your arms around him, planting your lips on his. 

“Come. Let me put it on for you.” You lifted your hair as Seonghwa put the necklace around your neck and clasped it in place. 

“You’re mine, okay? And I’m yours.” Seonghwa hugged your waist, putting his chin on your shoulder. You giggled and nodded your head in agreement, you were more than okay with that. 

“Thank you for this, Hwa. But I want you to know that having you with me is the greatest gift of all.” You shyly admitted. Seonghwa showered you in another round of kisses. 

“Sleep first if you’re tired, baby. I’ll go shower real quick. You can open the other gifts tomorrow.” Seonghwa said when he caught you yawning. 

“I’m fine.” You said through another yawn, rubbing your eyes. He chucked and kissed your forehead before leaving the room. 

While waiting for him, you were on your phone, replying to friends and family that were also wishing you a happy brithday. There were some ATINY that wished you happy birthday on social media too. With your free hand, you reached out to take Seonghwa’s famous white bear plush to hug. 

“You were able to celebrate with Seonghwa?” 

“Yes, omonim. I celebrated my birthday with all the boys, they prepared everything. Thank you for sending over the food, I ate a lot and enjoyed it.” You giggled as you spoke to Seonghwa’s mother. 

“That’s good. I hope the boys didn’t do any cooking since they aren’t very good. I’m glad you enjoyed it, Seonghwa told me you have been too busy to eat so I told him to make sure you eat a lot.” 

“Don’t worry, they ordered the rest of the food in. And yes, Seonghwa has been making sure I am well fed.” 

“University has been busy, right?” 

“Yes. There are a lot of assignments and exams to study for. But with Seonghwa by my side, I’ll get through it!” You heard her laugh on the other end. 

“I’m glad my son can be there for you. You work too hard, (y/n). You need to make sure you’re taking care of your health and body too. Sleep enough, eat proper meals.” 

“I will, omonim. Thank you.” Your heart grew warm at her kind words. 

“You should go to bed. Happy birthday again, my beautiful girl.” 

“Goodnight, omonim.” You smiled, even thought she couldn’t see you, and hung up. You scrolled on your phone, pressing the white bear plush to your face as you inhaled Seonghwa’s familiar scent. At some point, you fell asleep with your phone on. Seonghwa crept in, knowing that you would have fallen asleep, he knew you too well.

“Pabo. I told you not to wait up.” He chuckled. He took your phone and closed the app you were watching, putting it on his nightstand to charge. 

When your phone lit up to show the charging status, Seonghwa couldn’t help the snort that escaped him at your wallpaper, which was the fan selfie he took while shooting the Halazia music video.

He was glad he was able to make you happy today just by dressing up. He had never seen you act that way around him before, he thought you were so endearing and adorable when you were flustered and embarrassed. 

After he slid under the covers, he gently removed his bear from your hold. 

“Sorry, buddy.” He put the bear aside and took its place, putting your arm over his body and his own arms around yours. 

“Hyung.” San poked his head in. Seonghwa craned his neck, softly shushing the younger male. San waved the phone that Seonghwa left in the bathroom.

“Just put it over there.” He nodded over to the desk. As San came in to put the phone down, Seonghwa protectively shielded your sleeping form with his own body. He didn’t want anyone seeing you in this state, even his own members. It was for him and him only. 

“Goodnight.” San wished.

“Goodnight.” Seonghwa replied in the softest whisper as San closed the door. At the small noise, your eyes peeked open and you looked up at Seonghwa. 

“Hwa...?” 

“Shh, go back to sleep, baby. I’m here.” Seonghwa stroked the back of your head, hushing you to coax you back to sleep. He used his free hand to adjust the blanket over the both of you before cradling you against his chest. 

“I love you.” You murmured in your sleep. You snuggled into his chest, letting out a relaxed sigh.

“I love you too. More than you know.” He pressed his lips to the top of your head, letting them linger there for a while. 

Like you did with him, your warmth and scent made Seonghwa truly relax. He could spend an eternity watching you sleep in his arms. He brushed the hair away from your face, the soft smile never leaving his own as he saw the necklace sparkling around your neck. 

“Happy birthday, baby.” 

[car-sounds]

Your Heartfelt Confession

Solomon x (GN)reader

1499 words

Summary: You misunderstand Solomon's intentions after a confession, and Asmo helps settle the issue.

Hurt/comfort

“Solomon, I love you.”

The two of you have been dating for a while, even so this was the first time either of you have said ‘I love you’ out loud before. 

You’ve known that was how you felt about Solomon for quite some time but the warmth of snuggling up against Solomon and the shimmer of the moonlight peeking through his blinds made you feel like this was the right moment.

He feels the same right?

The silence he’s giving you says otherwise.

He moves slightly away from you and remains silent. Your not sure what to do, leave?, apologise?, try and talk out the situation?, you want to do one of those but your body feels frozen in place and your lips unable to get a word out for fear of not being able to keep the tears welling up in your eyes from falling once you start talking.

Both of you just sit in silence while you're still awake, luckily you feel your eyelids start to get heavy so you can escape the tense awkwardness you started, at least for a little bit.

—

You slowly blick yourself awake. Still inside Solomon’s bed just alone. You still have to get to RAD so you get ready with the things you brought with you for staying over.

Simeon is already up “Good morning, MC.”

“Good morning. Is Solomon still here?.”

“No, he told me he needed to leave early. You were already planning to eat with us, right?. Breakfast will be done in a minute.”

“Oh, ok. Thanks.”

Him not being with you in the morning is certainly not a good sign. At this point you're already mourning your relationship.

You try to put on your best smile to try and keep the others from worrying, maybe if you focus on smiling wide enough you won’t have any time to think about how the man you have fallen head over heels in love with doesn’t feel the same. 

There is no way Simeon and Luke can’t see your upset, they’re angels after all. But even if they weren't, your emotions are extremely obvious right now. Trying to maintain a conversation without bursting into tears is proving difficult right now, the angels tried to ask what was bothering you but after a while of your obvious lies of ‘everythings alright’ and ‘Don’t worry it’s nothing’ they gave up hoping that giving you your time would help with things.

First class of the day happens to be with Solomon, your brain is fighting with itself attempting to decide what’s worse, him attending or not attending class. Pushing down your worries and stepping into the classroom you keep telling yourself.

‘Whatever happens, happens.’

Scanning the classroom you spot him, sitting in the spot next to yours like always. 

He’s already starting to approach you “How’s my adorable apprentice and lovely partner doing?” ending that sentence with a kiss on the cheek.

Every part of that greeting confused you,

I know last night wasn't a dream, it happened you’re sure it did.

“...”

“Sorry, darling. I had a few things that came up this morning and I didn’t want to wake you up to say goodbye. Hope you’re okay with that.”

“...”

“Are you still feeling a bit tired this morning?” 

Class was about to start and Solomon went ahead and dragged you to your seats.

All you could think was ‘What is happening!’ 

You know what happened last night was real, so why was he acting like it wasn't.

—

You can hardly form sentences with all that you’re feeling. The rest of the day is spent ignoring Solomon as much as possible while you wait to talk this out in private and with a clear mind.

“Hey, MC. Are you busy after class?”

“Why do you ask?”

“I was hoping to try Cafe Lament's new menu items with you.”

“Is that all?”

That pettiness in you can’t be contained, was this man really trying to plan a date with you just hours after completely ignoring your declaration of love for him.

“Huh? Yeah, why.”

“Sorry, I’m busy.”

Your tone was cold, but you couldn’t hold back from being upset. He’s allowed to not feel the same way as you, you know that but the fact he’s ignoring how you are feeling is what’s making you act this way.

You know the reasonable thing to do right now would be to try and talk with Solomon about what happened last night, but the thought of trying that sounded very overwhelming to you in your current state. Still you wanted to get this off your chest. The only person you thought to talk about this with was Asmo, he knew the both of you well and has given you plenty of good advice in the past. A couple of days ago, Asmo had mentioned that he had done a collaboration with Majolish and was going to get the prototypes some time  today, so safe to assume he went home. 

Once you finally make it back home and finish changing out of your uniform, you head to Asmo’s room, praying that he’s in there. Thankfully he is,he saw your expression and immediately knew you were upset. Before he could even ask what was wrong you bursted into tears. 

“Mc! What happened, hon?” He asked while pulling you into his room to give the two of you more privacy.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He guides you to the chair by his vanity and takes out some tissues.

“Yes,” you have to take a pause to give yourself enough time to form a coherent sentence “it’s about Solomon”

“Oh, honey. What happened?”

“It’s nothing too bad but…” Even trying to talk about what happened is bringing you tears. “I told him I loved him and he didn’t even reply. Worst part is he didn’t even acknowledge what had happened today”

“What do you mean ‘it’s nothing too bad’ he should know better than to do that to you!” Asmo kneels down next to you and holds your hands to comfort you before giving his solution “If you feel comfortable with it, then how about I talk to him for you. How does that sound?” 

“...I think that could work…I don’t really want to be there just in case it’s something I don’t want to hear.”

“Alright hon, I can ask to talk to him tomorrow. How about right now we try out the things made for my Majolish collaboration?” All you could respond with was a  nod to him and an attempt of  the most genuine smile you could muster.

---

All of yesterday’s pamper got you feeling a bit better, even so you still have your feelings of heartbreak weighing on you. Asmo’s gone out, he asked Solomon to talk with him, all you can do is pace around your room, waiting for whatever the conclusion will be. This could be the end of your relationship and all you could do was wait around. Why did you get Asmo to do this without you around, it’s making everything feel more out of your hands than it would have been with you there. Sure it would have still ended the same but at least you could interfere or something, but that also wouldn’t be ideal. He should get to say his decision without me trying to get what I want to say out loud. It’s only fair, right? 

Well, it’s too late to question what the better option would be. Your phone buzzes, it’s a text from Asmo. He says Solomon agreed that you two should have a talk with each other.

It’s agreed that Solomon is coming to the House of Lamentation to have this discussion in your room. It’s only going to take a few minutes for him to get here. 

---

It took a lot longer than you expected to hear a knock on your door. Asmo was standing behind him, he offered to stay to mediate the discussion but Solomon turned that down. Once the door was closed and you two were both seated on your bed Solomon starts speaking “MC, I’m sorry for how I handled what happened. It’s just that I’m worried about accepting that I’ve fallen in love with you. It has nothing to do with who you are, I just have lost everyone I’ve ever loved due to my immortality and it's just difficult for me to let people into my life and express how much I care about them. I do love you, MC. I hope you know that I mean it.”

At this point, tears are running down your face. Solomon and you chose to sit a little distant from each other when you first sat down but as soon as he’s done talking you lean in to hug him for some comfort. All you have to say is, “Are you sure?” 

“Yes, yes I’m sure. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Masterlist

[garden-bug]

Luke's inner conflict surrounding attachment and the Jedi code from my Dinluke fic

“Love and compassion are the Jedi way.” “But not family.” Luke is again stabbed by that brief, painful conversation. Sometimes moments of it will play out in his head and it’s as if he’s there again, except in his mind he stays and doesn’t leave, and he has an answer for Din when he says that the Jedi way is incompatible with the Mandalorian values of family.  “Luke. It's normal to be afraid for the people you care about, but that doesn't make it okay to push human connection away. Yes, it might be hard to figure this out as a Jedi, but what you're doing right now is avoiding your fear, which isn't going to make you any less afraid or the reality that bad things do happen any less painful.” Leia has always been wiser than him. “I believe the Jedi lost their way. Instead of dealing with how we felt in a healthy way, we were encouraged to push our fear and anger away, and many of us, Anakin included, bottled it up. He was… scared of something, and nobody helped him, or reassured him, because it was about your mother and he’d broken the Jedi code to be with her.” Ahsoka became completely disenchanted with the Jedi. And Luke doesn’t blame her — not after what she went through. It’s no wonder she struggles to associate herself with the name. In her view, the Jedi failed his father, she failed his father — even though there was nothing anyone could have done to prevent him from turning to the dark side.  He… he would never have made the choice his father did. If it came down to it, if it was Din in his mother’s place — “I can’t choose you, I can never choose you. Can you really tell me you understand that?” Din brought a hand up to his helmet. “I don’t know.”  What did Din mean then? He didn’t know if he could understand putting someone above everyone and everything, including what you believe in?  “Had she said the word, I would have left the Jedi Order to be by her side.” And even Ben. Why would he have had to leave the Order?  The point is — It all comes back to — Leia.  “…what you're doing right now is avoiding your fear, which isn't going to make you any less afraid or the reality that bad things do happen any less painful.” He wants to make Din understand, maybe by pushing him down and kissing him, because why the Force shouldn’t he love someone like that? Yes, it’s terrifying, but he’d sure rather love Din and have that than end up like Ben (sorry, Ben) who for some reason had the idea that loving someone equalled selfishness and destroyed your ability to put anything or anyone above the person you love and therefore was the antithesis of the Jedi code. “Attachments lead to pain, pain leads to suffering. The path to the dark side, it is.” But Yoda didn’t mention that pain is caused by fear of loss. Fear of loss is a result of one’s inability to accept that loss is part of life. Attachment does not mean love. Attachment means… a desire for control over things in life that cannot be controlled. Being tied to them. And as much as Luke loves Din he would never want to be tied to him in that way. As a Jedi, Luke must love with acceptance that everything he loves he may one day lose. Otherwise, he risks following in the footsteps of his father. Can he do it?

Further:

Context for the story: Luke is trying to rebuild the Jedi Order, falls in love with Din (who decides to embrace being the Mand'alor after being inspired by Luke), has a terrifying vision that his attachment to Din will lead to pain, and pretty much runs away to Leia on Coruscant where he tries to figure the whole thing out.

Ahsoka has gone anti-Jedi because she had a traumatic experience and still blames herself and everyone for what happened to Anakin. This is a character flaw she may or may not overcome in this story.

When Din says "but not family" implying that he believes family goes against the Jedi code, he is in the wrong and later feels immensely guilty because 1) it's mean (he was upset) and 2) his idea of family is mightily messed up, having been raised by a cult. The extremity of the guilt he feels is, though, irrational, because he has a lot of issues and he was having a panic attack in the scene where he reflects on what he said which messes up your judgement (source: personal experience).

I will revise this section because I don't think it represents Obi-Wan's feelings for Satine (I'll need to think about this more):

he’d sure rather love Din and have that than end up like Ben (sorry, Ben) who for some reason had the idea that loving someone equalled selfishness and destroyed your ability to put anything or anyone above the person you love and therefore was the antithesis of the Jedi code.

Luke fully recognises here that Anakin's own choices led him to becoming Vader. (Something Ahsoka still struggles to accept.) If this is not something you agree with please DNI with this post or with me, because I will not change my opinion.

Save for that, I would absolutely appreciate any comments or insight (I may not take them into account, but I'd be interested to hear them anyway because I want to offer as rich an insight as I can into this issue and discussion is super great for that). Also I think I might have clarity issues in this passage so if anything is unclear feel free to let me know (kindly - I am human).

Also important: I am NOT writing a Luke who 'gives up' being a Jedi because omg Din Djarin! They are both incredibly interesting characters in their own right with their own beliefs that are integral to who they are and I intend to do them as much justice as I can.

If you read the story (which I will link below) please be aware that it is a first draft and therefore I don't feel that it perfectly expresses all of the messages I want to get across. Still, huge thanks if you give it a try!

[bookshelf-dust]

imsosorry i'm about to request again (just tell me to stop if they get too much)

could you write a fic with Gareth where reader is usually very talkative and cheerful but someone shouted at them about it being annoying, and now they keep sentences to a minimum, so Gareth tries to find out what happened? and maybe gets angry at the person for shouting at them? this time I may have done it a little bit too precise, sorry

(again, sorry for requesting so much, it's just that you write them so !!! undescribable. beautiful. gorgeous. CHEFS KISS. and you're so FAST AT WRITING THEM?? amazing)

going quiet.

gareth emerson x gn!reader

word count: 1,610

warnings: swearing, bullying, andy, gareth gets angry, fluff/comfort

a/n: hii!!! do not apologize for requesting! it makes me feel loved and i’m so so happy that you like the way i write him and that you trust me with your ideas! and your idea is indeed perfect. seriously don’t apologize. i love it when you request things and i appreciate it. also it’s easy to write these when you’re so sweet. and i hope this doesn’t suck. <333 (also i will use any chance i can get to bully jason’s goons).

————

“Well, I like The Breakfast Club a lot, actually. I just hate the ending because of Allison’s makeover. It pisses me off that Andrew didn’t have eyes for her until she looked like every other girl in sch—”

“It seems that everything pisses you off, huh?”

You’d been talking to Nancy, but that wasn’t who was speaking to you now.

You turned your head, fingers gripping the edge of your open locker door. Andy was looking at you, hands in the pockets of his varsity jacket, a sick smile on his face.

“I’m sorry?”

“You’re just really fucking annoying.”

Andy’s voice made your stomach drop. You’d been just fine, talking to Nancy, some mindless conversation about movies because she’d had a similar talk with Robin over the weekend—who shared your opinions on Allison and Andrew.

But now it was like someone had opened a window when it was much too cold to do so, a rush of cool air sending a chill down your spine.

Andy seemed to have a way of doing that.

“You know, my locker is just down there,” he pointed, “and everyday I hear you blabbing about whatever shit you seem to think is important. Frankly, I’m just sick of hearing your voice. The world would benefit from you shutting the fuck up, I think.”

Your hands were shaking now. “What the hell, Andy? Why are you being such an asshole?” Nancy raised her voice, trying to confront the boy, but he just tossed his head back in glee, and walked off.

You always told yourself that you could stand up for yourself in a situation like this. You could do it easily anytime someone said something to Gareth or one of the kids, but his comment had come out of nowhere, and you’d been too shocked to fight back.

It had been the way he said it really, the way he looked at you. Like you were a nuisance, and it hurt your feelings.

He’d targeted one of the main things you were comfortable with—talking to people you cared for about things you loved. You’d been around people who let you be yourself for some time, so being told that your passion and cheerfulness was annoying was the worst thing he could’ve chosen to pick on.

Deep down, and in every vein, it hurt.

“You okay, Y/N? Really you can’t listen—”

You raised your hand, cutting her off. “I’m fine, Nance.”

And then you were off, hoping that the way you could feel your eyes glazing over wasn’t obvious to any onlookers.

Nancy didn’t see you again until lunch, but she was sat with Robin and some of the school newspaper kids, you with the Hellfire Club. She tried to see if you were okay just by looking at you, hoping that you hadn’t let Andy’s comment hurt you, but the bounce of your leg under the table told her otherwise.

“Did you finish your book last night?” Eddie was looking at you, shoveling pretzels in his mouth, eyebrows raised while waiting for your response.

You felt Gareth bump your leg with his knee, knowing you would be excited to talk about your book if you had indeed finished it. Yesterday you’d been very close, with only a couple chapters left.

“Yeah,” you said, finishing the rest of your drink and trying to avoid eye contact with Eddie, which he had did not like.

“How was it?” He inquired.

“Fine.”

“That’s it? We don’t get to hear about the ending? The grand reveal?” Eddie wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, sitting up at your vagueness.

“Nothing to tell. It was fine.”

“Are you alright, Y/N?” Gareth grabbed your hand under the table, and you fought the urge to pull away from him.

“I’m—”

“If you say fine, I’m going to scream,” Eddie declared.

“I’m okay,” you finished instead, looking back and forth between them both.

Eddie rolled his eyes, though he wouldn’t argue because you had come up with another response.

Gareth looked over your face like he was searching for something. “Gareth, please.”

He knew that tone. It either meant, I’m fine—really—or it meant I don’t want to do this right now. Either way, he dropped it.

In class that afternoon you worked silently beside him, even though you were supposed to be working with him on a project. When he asked you questions you gave one worded responses or simply nodded or shook your head.

That night he called you after dinner like he always did. For a minute he was worried you wouldn’t even pick up, the phone having rung for so long, but you did.

“Hello?”

“Hey, sweetheart. You okay?”

“Fine, Gareth.”

You could hear him sigh loudly on his end, even though it was clear he’d pulled away to try and not make it so obvious that he was concerned and a little stressed out about your behavior.

“The twins want you to come for dinner this weekend.”

“That’s nice.”

“Is that okay? Not too busy?”

“That’s okay.”

The entire conversation you were soft spoken. It was practically killing the boy. You were never this quiet, in tone of voice or in the amount you had to say. You always liked to talk about everything and nothing with Gareth and with Eddie, or Dustin or Lucas.

You were an excited person. You liked to geek out about something or listen to someone else do the same.

And you weren’t doing that.

Something was wrong. Gareth was sure of it. He just had to figure out what.

————

“Did something happen? Something that I don’t know about?”

Gareth tracked down Nancy the next day, even if that meant he was now standing awkwardly in the corner of the school paper’s preparation room.

He crossed his arms, feeling increasingly nervous.

“They’re not talking are they?”

“No. Nancy, come on. What the hell happened?”

She exhaled. “Andy made an appearance yesterday morning. Decided he’d be a prick and told them they were,” she lifted her hands to use air quotes, “‘Really fucking annoying.’ Then he went on about how they never shut up and that the world would in fact benefit from them doing so.”

Gareth ran a hand down his face.

“I told them not to let it affect them,” Nancy continued, “but I think this one was a little too close to home, you know?”

Gareth nodded, suddenly feeling very angry.

“Yeah. Yeah, I know. I’ll figure this out. Thanks, Wheeler.”

————

Luckily for Gareth, he ran—literally—into Andy right after his chat with Nancy. It was lunch, which is why he’d come looking for answers because you were nowhere to be found.

“Watch it, freak.”

“Why don’t you, asshat?”

“Excuse me?” Andy turned on the other boy, brow furrowing, chest puffing out like he was trying to show off.

Gareth was fired up. He never fought. At least he hadn’t since middle school.

He had sisters to be a good example for, and he really didn’t want to be trouble for them—or his mom. He also really didn’t like split knuckles.

But right now, he was astronomically pissed.

Gareth grabbed hold of Andy’s collar, yanking him close.

“Why’ve you got to be such a fucking asshole all the time huh? Because let me tell you, nobody needs to hear your opinions or your bullshit outlook on the world.”

“What the hell is your problem, man?” Andy’s voice cracked, as he was clearly not expecting Gareth to have confronted him like this. Not when the latter usually just flipped the former off and moved on.

But this was about you this time. Your feelings had gotten hurt. And Gareth couldn’t protect himself from these things, but he could protect you.

“You’re an asshole, that’s my problem.”

Gareth let Andy go, shoving him back much more gently than he’d been holding the boy.

Little did he know, you were propped up against the wall across the way, watching this little interaction from afar.

“Jesus man, shit,” Andy said, rubbing at his collarbones.

“Just fucking stop this shit, yeah? I don’t care about whatever dumbass reason you’ve got for taking your feelings out on people, but just leave my friends out of it.”

Gareth shook his hands out, and the gesture seemed to frighten Andy, who hadn’t realized he was that strong before this moment.

“Yeah, whatever man.”

And then he was gone.

Gareth ran his hands down his face, and you took that as your queue to approach him. You reached up, carefully grabbing his wrists and wrapping your fingers around them.

Gareth jumped. “Damn! You scared the shit out of me.”

“I’m sorry.” You planted a kiss on his cheek, and he went bright red.

“I take it you figured it out?” His brow furrowed at your question. “I was watching,” you clarified.

“Oh. Oh. Shit, I’m sorry.”

“Gareth, you don’t have to apologize. I appreciate you sticking up for me. I should’ve done it myself, and come to you, but he just—”

“He hurt your feelings?” You nodded. “I know. Sometimes certain things just hit wrong, yeah?”

“Yeah.” He grabbed your face in both hands and kissed the top of your head.

“Hopefully he fucks off. But either way, I want you to know that I love hearing you talk. I love it when you get excited and you get loud and you share all the little things that make you feel that way, okay? I don’t want you to change or shut down because of someone. Especially Andy.”

That got a laugh out of you, and Gareth thought that sound could’ve cured everything wrong with the world.

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

[shining-star-system]

I want to make a post that I do know will lead to people that will hate me, but I want my thoughts to be heard.

Stop bashing people that enjoyed a book or a game, seriously,

I get it. A lot of authors and game producers are shitty people. That doesn’t give you any meaning to fucking bash someone for enjoying something.

I’m making this because me and other parts within our system are too afraid to say anything about our sources because we KNOW people will bash us for it and it will end up being “our fault.”

But I want to finish my source. I want to enjoy the game. I want to enjoy the books.

Let me fucking pirate shit.

JKR is a shit stain on the world but that does not mean you go around bashing someone who read the books when they didn’t fucking know better. None of you do this shit for Twilight! Twilight is seen as the “teen book.” So was Harry Potter!

And I KNOW that there’s going to people saying “oh, well, you’re fucked up for supporting HP.” I support the fucking fanfic authors, the ones that DO BETTER THAN JKR. I support the people that MAKE IT BETTER. I don’t bash them for it.

Everyone wants introjects to feel comfortable but they exclude people as well. I hate system spaces because of the fucking fear I have for wanting to reread source or enjoy source material even if it’s pirated. No matter what someone does, if you’ve read the books, you’re instantly bad.

I shouldn’t have to be worried about someone threatening me because of source. It’s wrong of people to pin it on “our fault” when none of us can control who is introjected. And what happens if someone has a source that’s a fanfic related to that community?

I don’t support JKR, but god fucking damn it, let me pirate shit to actually finish it so my brain stops yelling and actually let me fucking have my source. Otherwise, I cannot healthily distance because no matter what I do it will NEVER be enough.

Flame me, say shit, I don’t care. But there’s so many systems that want to be there for problematic alters. Does that include alters from sources that no one likes but still has a connection to? Or is this where the line is drawn?

I’m tired of being afraid. I’m tired of hiding.

I’m tired of telling myself and the others in my system that are related to Harry Potter that we have to hide because people WILL bash us. I’m tired of that. And I’m not fucking hiding anymore.

I am here for a reason as are the others in our system. And I will not be a friend or conform to everyone because it is not about me being something others want, we cannot love ourselves while being afraid.

Everyone starts excluding something. I’ve had people I’ve consider friends drop me for small things, I’m expecting the same here, but that’s a price I’ll have to pay for finally being able to be comfortable enough in my own damn skin to heal.

Generalizations can harm people, it’s a human thing to do, but I refuse to constantly be afraid that someone will hate my guts because they can’t understand someone can enjoy their source, not support the artist, but still know the alter for them. Such as Hazbin Hotel or Helluva Boss.

Make it safe for people rather than always having each other at a knife point.

I’m expecting people to disagree with me, but I’m tired of trying to hide and not being able to be me. It’s painful and it fucking sucks. I also really fucking hate leaving things unread because I want to be able to hold conversations with others that enjoyed the books IN THEIR CHILDHOOD WHEN THEY DIDN’T KNOW ANY BETTER and still enjoy it BECAUSE IT GAVE THEM AN ESCAPE FROM AN ABUSIVE HOUSEHOLD.

Stop bashing on children for reading a book, stop bashing on teens for branching out for books. I don’t understand why people feel so bloody entitled to say “you’re a fucking shit human being because you read this book.” I’m sorry that it was what was there in my childhood that made me have some goddamn hope for a future where magic was alive.

“There’s other books.” What about those that are limited?

Stop hating people and making a generalization. Stop hurting people for fucking reading. None of this was here years ago and I’m glad that JKR is being seen for the vile sack of shit she is, but the children and teens that are reading and don’t know anything or are unaware of the things JKR has done doesn’t deserve the hate.

I’m ending the post before I rant more. But stop hurting kids for reading. Stop hurting alters for sources they can’t control or a connection to source they can’t always distance from.

[asiadoesstuff]

Lore from the Recent Silly Livestream..

Calling all my Fandroid Theory Enthusiasts!!: @splat1987 @1dklikesthings @bluartist @pawsometoons @bugsinspace @killer-arcade @roseverdict @therealdragongirl12 @crossover-fraternity !!

You might be thinking: “Asia, this was just a Silly Livestream! What’s so Lore-Worthy about it?”

That’s where me, (a delusional person /hj), Comes in! Since I’m already quite insane in the membrane, (/ref) this should be either really good or really bad!

Anyways, onto some Info, and a little bit of Lore…

I’m going to be adding in only the Info Parts and Lore Parts, (and one Funny part), so I’ll skip over a lot of the Livestream).

So, for starters, Fandrew locked Fandroid in a Shower. Fandrew also said that he used Chains to lock the Shower. This might be funny, until you realise Fandroid isn’t waterproof.

(You can find the Clip of Fandrew saying that at the right start of the New Livestream.)

This was most probably “revenge” for being locked in the Box for 8 Weeks, (though Fandrew did the same thing to Fandroid before he was), or just because that’s Fandrew.

At one point, Fandrew ordered Chipotle???

I assumed he got it through the Fandrew-Shaped Hole in the wall.

Fandrew got a big Stalk of Corn, Chipotle Sauce, and a Giant Rock. 👍

Frogbot & Fandrew became friends! 🎉

Fandrew apparently used Melody as a Hula-Hoop once.

Frogbot can speak Spanish. 👀

That isn’t any Lore, but I thought it was funny, so I added it in this Post—

At one point, someone asks if they can marry 404, to which Fandrew replies that probably not, but will ask 404 nonetheless.

Either Fandrew can actually hold a face-to-face conversation with 404 without being torn apart, or Fandrew has no self-preservation skills.

At the end of the Livestream, Fandrew says he needs to leave, because “404 is running around the Facility, probably trying to look for BEEP-0 or a way out”.

Fandrew then continues to say that 404’s “long slender body can fit through the hole-”, and that 404 is probably looking for said hole. (That hole being the one Fandrew left.)

Fandrew ends with that he’s going to go distract 404, so he doesn’t find the Fandrew-Sized Hole and escape through it.

According to Fandrew: If 404 escapes, he’ll “take over the world”.

Fandrew then leaves, comes back to have a quick conversation with Frogbot & Melody, then leaves again.

Even though Fandrew’s Off-Screen, random “bye”s come from him at random points.

Fandrew comes back On-Screen, still saying “bye”, then says that they’ll have to end the Livestream otherwise he’ll keep saying “bye”.

Melody, Frogbot, & Fandrew end the Livestream.

You might think that was a Useless Read, but let me add something…

At random points in the Livestream, there was a random “Deep Voice”. It happened at least twice during the whole Livestream, but if anyone has anymore clips of it happening more that twice, then please tell me.

I assume that the “Deep Voice” was either from Frogbot or Fandrew, since the “Deep Voice” only happened when either one of them were speaking.

Here’s a Clip of both of the “Deep Voice” instances:

Thinking about it now, the first “Deep Voice” instance was most probably just Frogbot whispering, but the 2nd instance was definetly something else.

In a more plausible case, it was most probably Fandrew’s VA doing it for giggles, but I’m still writing this down just in case.

I can’t really think of anything else…

I kinda lost my Train of Thought over the 3-4 Days of me writing this, Sorry… It’s most probably because it’s almost Tuesday Midnight, and I don’t have my thoughts as collected… Sorry—

Anyways: If you have any more Info, make sure to leave it in a Reblog, or in the Notes! 😄

See you in the Next Fandroid Lore Post! 😊👋

[wicked-whump]

Let's Talk

For @/soheavyaburden's 2023 Year of Whump event, March: Denial

1.3k words

A/N: This is a shorter one, but I think I like how it turned out.

-

It’s a bit of a dreary day. The sky is dark and overcast, and clouds threaten to pour down rain at any minute. The air outside is thick with moisture, a cloud of fog having settled over the town. Perhaps the perfect weather for the conversation they’re about to have.

Emmett sits with Jess at the dining table in her house, awaiting Sebastian’s arrival. This discussion has been a long time coming, and he wishes they’d had it sooner than this.

But as they say, the best time to start was yesterday, and the next best time is now.

They sit in silence listening to the clock tick, having already discussed the things they want to say a dozen times over. All that’s left to do is wait.

Not soon enough, or maybe too soon, Emmett can’t tell, the door clicks open and Sebastian makes his way into the dining room.

“Sorry I’m late, I was–” he stops short, and an almost imperceptible hardness comes to his eyes as he spots them sitting there.

“Okay. What’s going on?”

Emmett takes a deep breath. “Come, sit down.”

Sebastian heistates a moment, eyes sweeping the room from left to right. Emmett is about to say something again when he finally moves towards the table and pulls out a chair, slowly sitting down in it.

Now it’s Jess’s turn to breathe deep. “We know these past months have been hard on you, and–”

“I’m not doing this.” Sebastian moves to stand, leaving Jess to sit there with her mouth hanging open.

“Seb, wait,” Emmett says. “Please hear us out. You don’t have to say anything, just listen to us for a second.”

Sebastian pauses, and a muscle in his jaw twitches.

“Just for a second. You don’t have to say anything.” he says again.

Sebastian closes his eyes for a moment and lets go of a sigh, sitting back down with crossed arms and angling a surly look at them.

Jess glances at Emmett, then tries again. “We know these past months have been hard on you, and we want to help.”

Emmett jumps in. “You’ve been in a really irritable mood lately, you’re jumpy, you’re not eating, you’re barely sleeping, and when you do, you have nightmares.”

“Gee, thanks.” Sebastian monotones.

“We’re not trying to insult you.” Jess says.

Emmett nods. “We want to understand. We want to help. You–”

“Please tell us what’s going on so we know how to.” Jess cuts him off, and Emmett shoots a look at her. That was not part of the plan.

Sebastian sneers at the table and is about to say something when Emmett interjects. “Actually, I was going to say you don’t have to tell us what’s going on.” he shoots another pointed look at Jess, and she glances down at the table in shame. “Just know that we know you’re having a hard time, and we’re here for you.”

There’s a beat of silence before Sebastian asks, “Is that it?”

Emmett and Jess glance at each other. There was some other stuff they were going to mention, like how Sebastian keeps lashing out and hurting them, but saying that now seems like a bad move. And he doesn’t want to guilt Sebastian by saying how it pains them to see him like this. Besides, they already said they were here to help, and that’s the main point of this conversation, right?

“That’s it.” Emmett nods.

Sebastian’s lip curls again. “So you dragged me down here to say what you could’ve said over a text?”

“We thought–”

Sebastian leans forward on the table. “Nothing’s going on. You know what you can do to help? Stop looking for things that aren’t there.” he says, voice rising. But Emmett thinks he detects a little waver towards the end.

Okay, Emmett knows that Sebastian knows that they know something is wrong, otherwise he would have pretended to be oblivious instead of refusing to hear them out at first. So what’s the point in continuing to deny it? Emmett already said he doesn’t have to tell them what’s happening, so why does he feel like he can’t audibly admit anything is wrong? Because he’s sure transmitted that message through his actions.

Sadness and sympathy flare in his chest. Whatever he’s going through is far, far from easy, that much is obvious. Why on Earth does he feel the need to keep the secret so tightly wrapped? Why doesn’t he feel like he can tell them anything? Did they do anything to make him feel that way?

Emmett is about to ask this question when Jess speaks first. “Sebastian, it is painfully obvious that you’re going through something.” her voice is tense, like she’s trying to reign in her frustration. “Please let us in. There’s nothing we wouldn’t do for you, we’re just trying to help.” She leans forward and moves to place her hand over Sebastian’s, but he draws away before she can.

“There’s nothing to help.” he says, standing abruptly.

Jess seems like she’s about to say something again, and Emmett braces himself for the fallout, but instead she takes a deep breath and sighs. “Okay.” she says, seeming resigned.

“If you’ll excuse me, I’m leaving to go ruminate over the many issues you seem to think I have.” with that, he exits the house, slamming the door on his way out.

A beat of silence. “Well. That could’ve gone better.” Emmett says.

Jess sighs again. “I’m sorry I went and asked him what happened. I’m just– dying to know what’s upsetting him so much.”

“I know. I am too, but we can’t force it from him. We have to let him come to us on his own time.”

“Yea, I know. I regretted it as soon as I said it.”

They sit in silence, then.

Emmett understands Jess’s curiosity. He does, he wants to know what’s going on too. But that shouldn’t be the priority. The priority needs to be doing what they can to make things easier for Sebastian. And so far Jess seems to have been preoccupied with why Sebastian is behaving this way, rather than how they can help.

He shouldn’t assume this, though. He knows Jess is just as worried as he is, and there’s no way to know precisely what’s going through her head. But her behavior has been speaking volumes.

He doesn’t know what to think. He doesn’t know what to do. Sebastian won’t accept their help. He supposes that’s his prerogative, but why?

He’s been spending an awful lot of time in his apartment, more than usual. That can’t be healthy, but what if forcing him out does more harm than good?

What if he’s avoiding something? Or someone? Does he have a– a bully, or something? When Emmett thinks of bullies, he usually thinks of middle and high school kids shoving others into lockers, and they left those people behind years ago. Besides, what kind of bully would have Sebastian reacting this severely?

He discards the idea. It’s got to be something more. Some family issues, maybe? Is it possible he’s gotten into drugs? Did he step in something that he can’t step out of? But what?

Look at him. Now he’s worrying more about the why’s instead of helping. What a hypocrite.

The fact stands though that there’s not much they can do if Sebastian won’t let them. And he seems pretty intent on not letting them. But that doesn’t make it any easier to just stand by and watch him suffer. And that seems to be all they can do right now.

Right?

-

If you’ve read this far and enjoyed what I’ve written, please consider reblogging! It means a lot to artists :)

[tightjeansjavi]

How’re you feeling babe?

Adding to the iud conversation bc I don’t know a single person who hasn’t had a traumatic experience w them- having a successful iud placement was still one of the worst things I’ve ever done in my life. It’s been awesome to have. But definitely wasn’t worth it. I got it a couple days after I turned 18, I was given zero information about the process, I couldn’t find anything negative about it. This being at a clinic with all women staff that heavily advocate for iuds and use them themselves.

Because I was 18, and had a couple of decently sized tattoos that I more or less napped through, I treated them like they would be the same kind of physical trauma. Eating a substantial meal before hand and hydrating as much as I could. Otherwise I was completely clueless. So I drive myself there (they asked about this but didn’t say anything which still baffles me). I’m supposed to go to work after my appointment. The first thing they ask is if I’ve taken any kinds of medication before hand, give me 800mg of ibuprofen, and send me to wait.

The placement went perfectly fine. And still no one tells me what to expect afterwards other than that I might have some mild cramping and that I could leave whenever I was ready. I was in so much shock that I was completely numb and left way before I should’ve. I didn’t make it to checkout before I needed to sit down so I didn’t pass out. I didn’t make it to my car before threw up in the parking lot. By this point the pain started to kick in. My 10 minute drive home took over 30 minutes from the amount of times I had to stop on the side of the road to vomit from the pain alone. I called into work crying (at this point I was still working my first job at a family owned business where calling in was more or less quitting). I was in too much pain to leave bed for at least the next day. As an insanely anxious teenager I really thought something had gone wrong and I was dying.

10/10 do not recommend. Would not do again. And I am dreading the day I have to get this pulled out of my body. I tried to get it taken out early (at 5 years instead of 7 or 8 or whatever) and my doctor refused unless I was planning on having kids 🤠

All in all, having a successful placement, imagining what it would be like to have something go wrong, I can’t even comprehend what you’re going through. It’s mentally taxing without having the physical component attached. Make sure to take the time to treat and take care of yourself. You deserve all of the best things in the world. 🩷

Nonnie,

I’m so sorry that I am just seeing this now 😭

I am feeling a lot better than I was last week, but still pretty upset (I’m just doing a good job of hiding it) I have no words to describe what you went through, and I am so so sorry that you had such a traumatic experience ☹️ I’m hearing more and more horror stories about people get IUD’s and I definitely don’t think I will be getting one in the near future after what happened to me, but maybe down the road. I wish that we didn’t have to worry about the possibility of getting pregnant and have to pump our bodies with hormones that actually have done more harm than good (in most cases) I’ve been taking the birth control pill since I was 17 and while it has helped me in some capacity (cramps, heavy bleeding, acne) it’s definitely also had a long lasting negative effect on my mental health.

I appreciate you so much for sharing your experience, and I hope your removal process when the time comes, goes smoothly!

-Gi

[scriptstructure]

Thanks for your clarifications, I’m afraid I had been quite flustered and overwhelmed with what I really wanted to do.

The story I’m writing reflects a bit of my real life - but on a much larger scale. Most people I chat to are at least bilingual and I tend to interchange 3 different languages, sometimes 5. Our speech patterns differ between languages even and between people, especially when it comes to languages that aren’t fully fluent or other. So developing speech patterns definitely requires a sense of language. Some of my characters tend to speak certain languages depending on the other person, or the specific conversation, or even mood, and of course, fluency as well. Not all my characters share the same fluency in each language either, so there’s definitely some communication fumbles or odd phrases that I most certainly want to reflect, even if the majority of my writing is in English. 

Translation of course is also definitely not one to one, and nuances are important too. Japanese for example, has specific words for older or younger brother, you can’t just say brother and not know whether they’re older or younger. Speaking French, it means you generally can’t just say sibling and not know whether they’re male or female. A full translation to English. Easily done in English to be exact, and would be nice to explain being exact wasn’t merely a preference but due to language, but I might just use the vocabulary and explain it. But then are other languages that do things like differentiate ‘we’ into including the speaker or excluding them, which English does not do. Which means language is actually important and I’ll have to say so. Is that really really important? Or is that pedantic? Actually, in real life, sometimes we’d specifically use languages with exclusive or inclusive 'we’ to be specific in whether the speaker is included or we get English conversations like. “Well, let’s go.” “Come on?” “Oh, I’m not going, I mean you.” but switching to languages with exclusive we does not give that situation. But not always, so yes, that type of conversation may happen in English, or it may happened in another language. Or does my character use English or another language where it doesn’t differ, or do they? And if all characters can speak a language that differentiate it, then why did they use a language that doesn’t and end up confusing someone? That’s part of the nuances and characterisation, maybe because that came out first, maybe they didn’t realise the language ability of the others, maybe that’s what they are more comfortable with? Etc… How should I portray this?

I’m not sure if I’m going overboard with this and going into pedantic and screwing up the flow, rather than important details with the character’s voices or even language ability. Sometimes language ability is actually a plot point so I do want to focus on some of it. I suppose yes, writing stuff exactly how it is done in real life may not work in writing… but there are certainly differences with the overall conversation depending on language, that it seems to me, like an important part of writing character voices as my characters come from various backgrounds with so much linguistic variety that also may not fully match their background. It’s not only how they say it, the tone, or mood, how they feel, or whether they’re mumbling or speaking clearly, speaking fast, or slow.

Now about whether I want a chaotic confusing experience or clarity? Well, it depends on the specific point of the story perhaps. If it is a confusing scene already, maybe I’d like to simply it it otherwise it becomes more of a mess. But generally, I like to be inbetween.

I hope this is something better I can give you? Sorry if it’s gone all wrong again.

Alright, so you’ve got a lot of moving parts to consider, and I think that figuring it out is going to come down to a lot of trial and error. I can’t tell you what will work for your story and exactly how to do it, but I can suggest a few strategies that might help you figure out how to get the effect that you’re after.

First off, I’d suggest mapping out your plot, and then alongside that, mapping out the points at which it is important that specific language-related incidents are going to be central. Is there a misunderstanding, or a secret, or something to do with the language use which is going to be a big bombshell moment?

When you have your ‘bombshells’ worked out, map out the stuff that has to have happened prior to those moments, in order for the reader to be able to figure out what is happening. 

Is it important at a specific moment that character A does or doesn’t understand a certain thing? Is it vital at a particular moment that a character does or does not speak a certain language, or use certain words, etc? Then figure out at what previous point these elements are going to be established.

So those are the ‘big picture’ structural supports that need to be worked out, so that you know what you need to have happening and when.

The question of style is a difficult one. There are, of course, conventional ways of writing which you will be able to find in any english classroom, and writing workshop. Moving beyond those is a matter of trial and error.

I would suggest picking a scene, and writing it out with a number of approaches.

Try doing it in the mish-mash of languages, with no explanation, exactly how the ‘movie’ in your head plays out.

Then do it with every bit of dialogue translated and explained.

Then do it again somewhere in-between.

Probably for most scenes you’ll end up in the somewhere in-between state, but it helps to practice writing things in different styles so that you can make deliberate choices as to when you want to include more or less information.

When you’re drafting your story, a helpful strategy can also be, to write yourself a little bullet-point list of the things that you want the reader to know after they’ve read a particular scene.

For example, if I were writing a fantasy novel, I might have a list like:

-Protagonist is left handed (important because sword fighting style & connection to prophesy) -Protagonist was raised to be fearful of Elves -Elves are mysterious and secretive

So then as I was writing this particular chapter, I can go back and check that I’ve hit each point on my list. Each of these points will become relevant later in the story, so making sure that I get them on the page in a place where they make sense helps so I’m not trying desperately to cram something in later because I need it for a big plot point but I forgot to include it earlier.

Even if you are ‘being pedantic’ about language, it can be turned into a stylistic choice if that’s what you want to do with it. Consider if you might want to use unconventional methods like footnotes to expand on some of the stuff that’s happening in the main body of the story, for example. Or you might want to utilise a narrator who interjects to give the reader explanations or interpretations of what’s going on.

I think, probably, you could go around in circles worrying about the ‘best’ way to write this story forever if you’re not careful. The best way to write it is to put it on the page, and then worry about making it ‘good’ later. You can’t edit a blank page.

Sorry for the wait, I hope this helps.

[johannstutt413]

(requested by foxgirlcock) Sussurro/Myrrh

When yelling for a Medic in an area where Rhodes Island is working, it’s not uncommon for two Medics to find themselves answering the call. Sometimes, one Medic’s skill set is clearly a better fit for the task, so the other simply stands by until dismissed, otherwise acting as a simple aide (if someone else can’t do that, at least). Other times, two Medics’ skills will synergize in just the right way to deal with a patient’s troubles, and that was the situation a pair of Vulpo found themselves in as they responded to someone’s incoherent screaming.

“Sussurro?” Myrrh greeted her curiously as she started rooting through her medicine bag. “I thought you were with the south team?”

“They finished their work, and so did I, so I came over here to help.” She said this while nonchalantly pulling out an oversized pair of pliers. Fortunately, their patient was about to receive some seriously fast-acting painkillers, or the slug-spine removal process would have been much more difficult.

The other Medic made sure those painkillers were provided and functioning before giving her co-worker a nod. “Thank you. It, um…I appreciate it.”

“I don’t want us leaving anyone behind.” A moment’s awkward silence was fortunately broken up by the patient’s wide-eyed yelp as Sussurro grabbed a spike and plucked it out; future silences wouldn’t be so lucky, however, as that was enough for them to fall unconscious. “Still stable?”

“Yes. I think they fainted.”

The other Vulpo nodded. “This should be quick, though we’ll have to remain with them until they wake up.”

“Mhmm…” In theory, only one of them would’ve had to stay; in practice, well, there was a conversation they needed to have, and this was as good a chance as any to have it, provided they could actually say what needed to be said. “So, um…About last night…”

“Oh, uh…last night was…” Neither of them were very good with words.

To compound the issue, the hesitation made Myrrh nervous, which only locked her out of communicating more. “Y-yeah…it was…”

“I enjoyed it?” Was it a question? “It’s not something I’ve, um, done before.”

“Me, too, b-but you um…did a good job, I think?” Oh why did they decide to have this talk now?

By this point, there weren’t even any spines left to distract the surgeon from her or the pharmacologist’s floundering, and the clean-up was so close to muscle memory at this point it couldn’t help her, either. “I was…worried when you weren’t there this morning”

“Oh, sorry! I had the, um, graveyard shift, and I forgot to tell you.” Although Sussurro had probably known that at some point already, considering her position in Rhodes Island’s Medical staff. “You…you, um, looked so cute sleeping, I…I couldn’t…”

“I was cute?”

The other Medic nodded erratically, her body unable to tell if she wanted to be enthusiastic or reserved in her reaction. “Y-you are.”

“Thank you.” She wanted to return the compliment, but all she could think to say was, “You are, too.”

“Eep!” Why did that make her heart flutter so much?

Another Medic happened upon the scene some time later - two Vulpos not sure whether they were going to look at or away from each other and had settled for trading one-sided glances while the other wasn't looking. “Is everything alright, ladies?”

“Y-yes, Bonesaw, we’re fine,” Sussurro replied. “Our patient is at risk of bleeding out, so we’re staying with them until it’s time to evacuate.”

“That’s why I’m here; convoy’s coming around, and I’m pinpointing where it needs to stop. You’re sure everything’s okay?” Myrrh almost looked like she needed some medical attention herself between the paleness and shaking.

Perhaps it was her awareness of that that the pharmacologist spoke up. “Y-yes, we’re…fine.”

“Goootcha.” Another awkward silence, though fortunately the recent arrival knew what to do about those. “So Gavial said she saw the two of you leave the party together-”

“She did?” Well, the surgeon knew who was going to be on nights for the next week or so.

Bonesaw chuckled. “Yeah. I thought that was what I was picking up on. Looks like I’ll be collecting after all.”

“Collecting?” Something about the way he’d said it got Myrrh’s attention. “Collecting what from whom?”

“Oh, uh, we had a bit of a pot going, an over-under on if you two would start seeing each other.”

Both Medics in question went heat-stroke red. “Y-you bet on us?!”

“There’s all kinds of pools going - I think I’m the subject for like seven myself.” He shrugged. “Just a way to pass the time on slower shifts, you know? Anyway, I bet something would happen after our next appreciation event, and lo and behold, I was right. Gotta cash in the next time I see Warf and Tilly.”

“They bet against us?” Every part of that thought bothered Sussurro.

The third wheel nodded. “Both of them thought you’d be too awkward to act on it. Tilly even had stats.”

“You…They…” It was at this point the surgeon felt a hand on her shoulder; Myrrh had scooted over to her. “Myrrh?”

“Do you, um…Can we meet up tonight? I w-wanted to ask earlier, but um…” Mouth.exe had stopped responding.

Bonesaw sighed. “Gotcha, never mind on that betting pool, then. Thought things’d be a little further along.”

“...Do you want to have dinner together?” The third Medic might as well be chopped liver as the lovers discussed the finer points of turning a one-night stand into something more regular. “I can pay for both of us.”

“Dinner sounds g-great.”

Distant sounds of a truck rumbling across the terrain came into earshot; the late arrival took that as his cue to leave. “Have fun working things out. Hey, Scooter! Over here!...Damnit, don’t make me have to use a flare! Get back over here!”

Frankly, the truck had all the time in the world it needed, as neither the Medics nor their patient would be going anywhere anytime soon.

[spaceopinions]

Zodiac LTM Rankings (#1)

A friend and I were talking about which zodiac signs we would successfully be able to spend a whole day with and I thought it was funny. So here’s my list.

BASED ON SUN SIGNS ONLY. (And yes, this list is incredibly biased)

Time I would spend with the signs: least to most 👇

11/12 - Virgo/Cancer

10 - Capricorn

8/9 - Libra/Scorpio

7. Leo

6. Taurus

5. Gemini

4. Aries

3. Sag

2. Pisces

1. Aqua

11/12). Virgo/Cancer

Amount of time I could spend with them: 30 minutes (if held at gun point)

bro. These people complain, complain, COMPLAIN. It’s too hot, it’s too cold, the vibe is off, it’s boring, it’s too loud, it’s too quiet, big or small IT NEVER ENDSSSSS.

Yes, you share a sun sign with Beyoncé, Michael Jackson, Ariana Grande, etc. But you are not them, beloved.

You are an average citizen working a job that you hate, yet somehow justify it because of the money or because “they wouldn’t know what to do if I quit”. I’ll tell you what they would do babes — hire your replacement. Speaking of work, thats literally all they talk about. (Depending on other placements) very one-dimensional people.

Always about the problems at work, or at home, or in their love life (they cheated before yes they’ll probably do it again). And normally that wouldn’t be an issue, what are friends for if not to listen to you vent? The issues is that they CAN NEVER RECIPROCATE. You could tell them a family member has a deadly disease and they wouldn’t offer more than an “oh, I’m sorry to hear that. But yeah can you believe my boss wouldn’t let me take the day off?”. Will always find some way to minimize what happened to you. Also, will always want you to dislike the people who have wronged them, but will remain oddly neutral towards those who have wronged you. But again, your problems aren’t as important.

And before someone goes “omg no that’s not true cancer is the sign of the mother, cancer is super caring la-di-dah”. Cancer is a cardinal sign, they are inherently selfish. Cancers are the most “emotional” when something affects THEM. And Virgos… I don’t think they need further explaining. Delusional as Pisces without the entertainment factor.

Only positive is that they will most likely feed you and most likely pay for it. IF you can tolerate them bringing it up for the rest of your life afterwards. Personally, I’d rather starve.

10). Capricorn

Amount of time I could spend with them: 1 - 2hrs. If we’re working on a project together (where they will inevitably takeover)

Represented by The Devil in tarot… need I say more?

No, but seriously. This is a sun sign that needs other fun placements in the chart. Otherwise, you might as well find a dirt road, pick up a rock, and bring it to lunch with you. 10/10 guarantee the conversation will be more interesting.

In my experience Capricorn’s always have this “secret side” to them but aren’t interesting enough for you to want to figure it out. They think they are more eye-catching than they actually are.

Will always repost quotes on social media saying stupid shit like “money on my mind I can’t do nothing else 💯” or “it’s always lonely at the 🔝” or “moving in silence never let them know your next move 🤫” (if you’re announcing your moves then you’re not being silent, dingbat) I always say they’re like Scorpios without the charm or the intrigue.

They might be your boss. They might be your neighbor. They might be that teacher you had in grade school that would never give you an extra pen even though they had a desk full. They’re everywhere, just not remarkable or noteworthy.

8/9). Scorpio/Libra

Amount of time I could spend with them: the length of a part-time shift if we were coworkers and 3 hrs. max otherwise

These two are tied simply because I didn’t feel like putting too much brain power into deciding which I actually liked best.

Some pros are that these people are down for an adventure (planned or spontaneous) and can actually be loyal friends when they feel like it. I have some great memories with individuals with these sun signs. They tend to say things that will stick with you.

Here’s the problem. Scorpios can be too spiteful, obsessed with being a “lone wolf”, and just borderline pathetic. While Libras are hypocritical yet judgmental; and very, very annoying when in a relationship.

Like I said, Scorpios are fun at first. When you’re just getting to know each other it’s like they’re down for anything. Until that fixed energy comes out to play and they get too comfortable. Unlike Sag’s, who get jealous of their inner circle, I notice Scorpios tend to get jealous of others who they aren’t super close too (or at least they’re smart enough to hide it).

The problem is that it’s exhausting to listen to someone shit talk all the time, tbh. About strangers and about people we know. Like yeah, your ex moved on after you had an amicable split 3 years ago. No, I’m not going to pop any tires with you. Gotta let it go. And then, in that scenario, when you decline to go with them. They get into this “nobody is there for me” or “Born alone, die alone” energy. They do not like when you disagree with them and I’m not a yes man, unfortunately. They are vengeful and never wrong. Even if they slapped you in the face, they’ll justify it. “Well why did you do xyz to make me hit you?” Yknow, classic water sign manipulation.

And with Libras, it’s a tale as old as time. They also love talking about other people way too much. And the funniest part is that usually they’re doing the exact same thing but in a different font.

For example, a Libra making minimum wage working in retail will make fun of another person working minimum wage but in fast food. Like idk how to break it to you hunny but…. LMAO. You are not giving Zuckerberg or Bill Gates. Also, respect all people who get off their ass everyday and make it happen. Doesn’t matter what job you have.

OR I had a Libra friend that used to talk shit about college (with multiple friends in school) saying it’s useless and not worth the debt etc., which is cool you’re allowed to have your opinion on it, yet got themselves into $30k+ credit card debt for shopping. You payed a tuition price with nothing to show for it. Used to piss me off so bad. But anyways, yeah, hypocrites.

Also cut us off because of a boyfriend and would only speak to us when they fought but that’s typical Libra behavior, moving on.

7.) Leo

Amount of time I could spend with them: have to test it out, will bring AirPods with noise cancellation just in case

I’ve never been close to a Leo so this is a very distant perspective, but they seem like good surface-value friends. Nice to dress up with, go out, get drinks, do something fun. Talk more than Geminis (quite a feat). But other than that, ehhh.

They also get jealous fast, friendships and otherwise. Leo’s love taking that “king of the jungle” shit seriously. And while I love that for them, we’re not in a Disney movie, this isn’t Pride Rock and you are not the boss. Don’t like to be reminded they aren’t in charge and will throw a tantrum.

Also, never as independent as they like to seem. Someone is always behind the scenes when it comes to them. Another sign that tries to be “secretive and mysterious” but is somehow always shouting their business from the rooftops at the same time.

If I have them on social media, their accounts are most likely muted. (Thanks Instagram!)

6.) Taurus

Amount of time I could spend with them: majorly depends on placements. On average, I’ll say a full-time shift if we’re coworkers or 5 hrs. in everyday life

Taurus’ are simple people. Compared to the chaos of the previous signs it’s like a breath of fresh air.

They will definitely get snacks or food with you. Will run simple errands with you. Will watch movies with you. If you go out of town, you can give them a key and they’ll feed your pets while you’re away. Good people.

Or they can be the follower type (and no being fixed doesn’t automatically mean you can’t be a follower, idk who told y’all that), can be opportunists when it comes to friends. (Loyal to a point)

For example, normally not flaky but if better plans come up with people they like more, they WILL flake. And I know this because I’ve always been the friend watching them do it to other people. People like to pass Geminis or air signs in general as the “fakest” but thats not true lmao. They definitely can be, but there are other signs that do the same shit. And Taurus is one of ‘em, let’s be fr guys.

Also will cancel plans if they’re just not feeling it anymore, which I respect. Can be annoying though if you do it multiple times. And then get mad people don’t invite you out as much.

Overall, they don’t usually leave a super strong impression. They’re dependable friends, though (if they like you).

5.) Gemini

Amount of time I could spend with them: if it’s the good twin, 8hrs. If it’s the bad twin, ill take the first train to hell, pls.

Ah, if it isn’t the worlds most hated.

I rather like Geminis. Or at least, what Geminis could be. Especially in work/school settings (that is where they flourish after all). Gets shit done. Might be a know it all, and will definitely respect you more if you show you’re as smart as them in someway. If you show you’re worthy.

If they know you’re not the one to fuck with, they’ll leave you alone, for the most part, in favor of someone “weaker/dumber”

Geminis pick their battles. And they will always do it when they think they can get away with it (mind games/gossip/etc.) To add to this, they are extremely observant. They don’t use that skill for good most of the time but they are and don’t ever think they’re not. That’s how they getcha, is by playing dumb.

I once read on some Instagram profile that Gemini isn’t actually based off good/evil, but of the two “jobs” they had in Greek mythology. The messenger, Hermes also doubled as the grim reaper. So not good/evil but playful and social vs. solemn and dutiful. I’m explaining it very bare-bones, but once I looked it at that way I feel like I understood the sign a lot more. Because whether you want to hear it or not, they are one of the most complex signs.

Now don’t get me wrong, they’re not super high on the list for a reason. The Geminis that the internet is always complaining about are very aggravating people. Shit starters, followers, gossips, bullies, overall irritating individuals. Let’s just say most of the ones I have on social media are muted (thank you Instagram!) Because they post their entire lives on there. The very definition of “peaked in high school”

They are entertaining, at the very least. And they don’t care if you’re laughing at them or with them, and I respect that. Also, they know how to keep in touch.

4.) Aries

Amount of time I could spend with them: Sometime after they reflect on a situation that pissed them off for the 100th time but before they start the anger-cry nonsense

I find that Aries can be more loyal than earth signs in friendships. Will fight with you. Your enemies are their enemies. Will get you out the house if you’re a homebody or will stay in with you if you insist. Good friends when they wanna be.

Aries are incredibly selfish though. They are good friends, partners, family members, coworkers, etc. until they just don’t want too anymore.

They are less obvious about it than virgo/cancer, and will at least listen to you vent, but deep down they really don’t see anyone else’s problems as equal to their own. They just don’t.

Also, they secretly think they are better than everyone else in their lives. Not necessarily in a secret jealousy way, more like a stated-fact kind of way.

Like - “Grass is green, water is wet, I’m better than you, the sky is blue “ LMAO no that’s literally how they think I’m not even joking.

I won’t say they’re particularly aggressive, but I always notice they have misplaced anger? Or angry at the wrong time. They’ll get worked up about something that happened 2 years ago, yet won’t confront the person/situation that did it. In my experience, Aries pick their battles too (again, other placements depending). Other than that I’d say they’re pretty calm.

They cannot see when they did wrong, though. They would rather forget about what happened instead of work through it or Yknow, apologize.

3.) Sagiterrorist

Amount of time I could spend with them: Until they piss me off enough that I manage to find a way to enter hell by choice

If you seen my last posts, you should know I much I hate to do this. But I have to be honest here.

Sag’s make great surface level friends. I will never get close to one ever again, placements be damned, but damn do they make great conversation.

I could talk about any random thing with a Sag. Good speakers and good listeners (when they wanna be). Charming, intellectual, attentive, again, when they want to be. The artist Kehlani has an album called “It Was Good Until It Wasn’t” and that is how I would describe any interaction with a Sag

They are transactional friends. When they can’t get what they want from you, they get vengeful. They hate when people outdo them (by their standards) and will bring you down in any way they can. Sometimes by influencing outside opinions on you, all while smiling in your face. Always playing both sides.

If you keep ‘em around, don’t keep ‘em close.

2.) Pisces

Amount of time I could spend with them: depends on the length of their delusions

These people can be first or dead last.

It’s simple, though. Pisces are the most adaptable sign. They can be what you want them to be, for the most part. Stay home friend, go out friend, vacation friend, you name it they’ll do it.

Some of them lack a backbone. Some of them have too much of one. Some of them pretend to have one until the last minute.

And all of them play victim like it’s a video game character. Gets really tiring. It’s just never their fault. (Again, classic water sign)

Inconsistent, unrealistic, and so, so much fun when they’re not being terrible people.

When a Pisces loves you, they will ride or die for you. More so than any other sign Tbh. But on the other side, they will (attempt) to destroy you if they feel wronged (which is usually you setting a boundary that they continuously cross, doesn’t take much for them to feel wronged lmao).

And when I say destroy I don’t mean in the cool, femme fatale, sword fights and gun slinging way. I mean in the petty lies, throw your darkest secrets in your face, kind. Tacky and over dramatic. GOSSIP ALMOST MORE THAN GEMINIS lol. But will throw a compliment in with an insult.

Other than that, Pisces are a sign I can immediately get along with. And I like that they will always check in on you. Will also listen to you vent and very much appreciate when you listen to them, as a lot of people in their lives usually don’t.

1.) Aquarius

Amount of time I could spend with them: a full 24 hours (if I’m feeling patient)

Aquarius are so much fun when they’re not being ridiculous. That’s really all I can say LMAO.

The ones I’ve been super close too I’ve loved dearly, and the ones I wasn’t super close too were still easy to talk too. They’re open minded, quick to take your problems on as their own (if they like you), and will catch up with you in some way whether it’s sending a meme or a TikTok, calling or texting, or seeing you in person. Knows what it means to be a friend.

On the flip side, they can be just too caught up in their world. Every time you hang out it’s on their terms, you eat where they prefer, you go where they wanna go, your opinions aren’t really worth much at times. Selfish.

Some will try to do what you want for once but will be in a mood the whole time which is an instant vibe killer. Aquarius have their own world with their own plans and you either fit into it or you don’t.

I respect that, but much like their Sister sign they have trouble understanding that they are no one’s boss.

Also, some (not ones I’ve been close too but like coworkers/acquaintances I’ve had, etc.) try way too hard to be “different”. Like, don’t get me wrong, I understand Aquarius is the rebel and all that is lovely, but it doesn’t always apply. Like, they go as far as swearing people are copying them even though they’re just copying trends?

You buy trending items off tiktok, you’re obsessed with y2k, or cottage core, or whatever else the internet says to be obsessed with nowadays. You don’t understand fully tarot but you use an app on your phone to “read” for your friends. You think it’s revolutionary when you don’t style your hair. You have an eyebrow piercing and chunky bleached highlights.

Babe. Respectfully, you are no more unique than Sarah, Jim, and Taylor.

All those things are great but you didn’t invent them nor make them popular. Be fr.

[moonrisecalamityretreat]

word of mouth, a cry for help || loic || trial 6.3 || attn: jinpachi

Oh, so, they’re accusing now? Good to know. And it seems the two people closest to the accused are the ones ripping the bandaid off, which is also convenient because they do it in a much kinder way than Loic himself would have. He can bring himself to be sympathetic towards the Exalted, sure, but it’s not like, until the whole story comes out, it’s easy to ignore the fact that they did, in fact, help with a murder game. Loic, after all, knows full well that it’s up to the people around you to decide if you deserve forgiveness after you do something unforgivable, and this? This was veering towards unforgivable. 

From his place next to Maxime and Yuriko, he slips his hands into his pockets and tilts his head to one side, looking at Jinpachi with an almost unwavering stare, only slowly blinking once or twice.

“...You said a few interesting things to me, too. After the first trial, I confronted you about what you said about people with AEDS. I’m…sorry. But I think it’s important to bring up even vaguely. I won’t say it in detail, but you know as well as I do what I’m referring to. It wouldn’t be a surprise to learn that the ‘running away’ didn’t work if this is the situation you’ve found yourself in. 

When you apologized for saying what you did about people with AEDS to me and for telling me what you did about your previous partner, was it because you were apologizing to me for answering in more detail than I expected, or was it because you were trying to make sure they knew you didn’t feel that way about them? If you’re worried about them, they’re more concerned with their dramatic reveal than they are about you speaking poorly of them, I think.”

He reaches up to twirl his hair.

“You also brought up some contradictory points about running away. You claim you ran away from him to escape, and it successfully worked, and he disappeared like most people who develop AEDS do. 

However, in a later conversation, you said something to me about how you can’t run away from your family despite not wanting to be with them anymore. So, there’s a sense that you ran away successfully once, but you can’t run away now? Maybe your family helped you run away from the first one or was aware that escape was happening so they didn’t pursue you, but…otherwise, those two statements can’t coexist. It’s one or the other. Either you can run from where you physically are or you can’t.”

Loic’s eyes finally glance over to Jinpachi, and, in a feat that’s rare for him to achieve, he manages to look someone in the eyes as he says:

“What I said back then still applies, by the way. About helping you. So.”

[gotatext]

JUDE & DANTE — NIGHT THIRTY.

location :   bean bags.

time :    pre hideaway-text.

description :  dante says oi u kno what jude i’m gonna get to know romi whether u like it or not so crack on with someone else orl ryte ????   tosser !! 😠😠😠  nah just kidding it’s very tame. 

featuring :    dante  /   @graftisms

𝗱𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲 𝗼𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗶𝗿𝗮.

"hey, there you are." his smile is tentative as he approaches jude, falling into the beanbag across from him. dante hadn't noticed how little he's interacted with the other bombshell until angel pointed out that he wouldn't be too thrilled to hear about dante cracking on with romi. but he still considers jude a friend, and now that his conversation with jenny is open, making him a one-woman man for romi, it feels like the right time to try to see where the two guys land on each other. "how are you doing today?"     

𝗷𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗽𝘀𝗲𝘆.

honestly, jude could do without this. he'd come to the bean bags to get some fucking peace from everyone, and now fucking dante shows up with the 'how are you doing?' nice guy act? is this dude actually for real, or an industry plant put here to make good television? "how am i doing?" jude asks, crease appearing between his eyebrows as he swills his drink, sitting up on the bean bags. "lets hazard a guess. you set your eyes on romi first day we're in here, romi picks me, you can't have her and go for someone else, and then the second i fuck up— not even a fuck up, more of a slip up— you're fuckin' swooping in like a dickhead superman..." clark cunt, if you will, "to make them fuckin' breakfast and play the hero the day after you fucked jenny?” yeah, he’d heard that. feels like there’s not a single person in the villa who didn’t hear that. “all the while jenny’s what, twiddling her thumbs waiting for you to give her the time of day? i’m not one to talk, but dick move, dude.”

𝗱𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲 𝗼𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗶𝗿𝗮.

okay, so jude is upset. after having to deal with jenny upset moments before, this isn't exactly fun for him, now seeing someone he had considered a friend lash out at him. there's a frown on his face while jude is barely into his tirade, and there's a lot that he says that dante doesn't agree with, but he'll let jude finish what he's saying before interrupting. "jenny and i are not getting to know each other anymore," he tells her, not sounding particularly happy about it. he's still not pleased how it went down. "we were always keeping our options open, and she told me yesterday she wanted to get to know you, and i wanted to see if romi would be open to getting to know me, yes. i'm sorry if i did something to upset you, but... romi told me you two were done for good. i would not have done anything otherwise. i did not mean to hurt your feelings."

𝗷𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗽𝘀𝗲𝘆.

jenny and i are not getting to know each other any more.  he says it with such finality, the same decisiveness that his mum would have when she’d tell him she’d sell the ps2 if he didn’t get off his arse and do the dishes. maybe it’s the english second language thing, but the way dante speaks makes everything sound more intense than it is. there’s no fucking about, all facts no filler.  “did you decide that or did she?”  so what? now they’re just not gonna speak to each other? sounds pretty fucking complicated, especially if romi ends up bringing this guy back. “done for good? that’s so insane. we’ve known each other two days and i kissed someone in a challenge, it’s literally… whatever, i don’t want to talk about it.” jude sucks in a breath, foot tapping restlessly against the ground. he hates that this conversation is happening on the fucking bean bags for crying out loud. “look, it’s not your fault if romi thinks you guys have a better connection.” because looking at it, jude’s pretty sure they don’t. “i don’t wanna get into some fucking soap opera because things with us didn’t work out. but do you not think it’s a bit weird if you now start gunning for romi and i go for jenny. what is this, fucking wife swap? jesus.”

𝗱𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲 𝗼𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗶𝗿𝗮.

"we both decided we were keeping our options open, but i told her i want to focus on romi, yes." he doesn't mind any questions jude asks, knowing it's preferable to him yelling at dante, or worse, ignoring him. "i don't know," he shrugs his shoulders, also not wanting to speak about romi ending things with jude. if he thinks too hard about it, it'll make him feel bad for picking up where jude left off. that's the name of the game though, isn't it? "wife swap?" he laughs, not understanding the reference—but y'know, getting the gist of it. "i don't know. i think if you and jenny are happy, and romi and i are happy, then it shouldn't matter, no? we can all be friends." at least that's what dante would like to believe. jury's still out on romi and jude ever becoming friends. "you should talk to jenny. i know she likes you."

[divorcelawyerqueensny]

Divorce Lawyer Tips On How To Deal With Divorce Nightmares

If you're going through a divorce, it can be hard to deal with the nightmares that come after. A divorce lawyer may be able to help you deal with these types of problems and get you on the road to a happier new chapter in your life. The following tips will help you cope with any divorce nightmares that lie ahead:

1. Pick your battles

It's important to fight for what you need, but not everything. If the children are involved in a custody battle, don't argue over every little thing like who gets to go where or when they have dinner with their dad and mom. You'll end up feeling angry and stressed out, which will only make it harder on everyone involved when the divorce is finalized!

Keep it private if possible: In general, try not to argue with your spouse in front of the kids unless absolutely necessary (and even then try hard not to). This way there won't be any witnesses who could misperceive what was said or done between both parties during this difficult time when emotions run high after a breakup/separation from one's partner(s).

2. Try and not argue in front of the kids

The last thing you want to do is bring up your own marital problems while they're still young and impressionable. When parents are fighting, it's likely that children will pick up on their parents' stress or unhappiness and feel sorry for themselves. That's why it's important for both of you to be civil toward each other whenever possible—even if one of you needs more help than the other does at this point in time (e.g., if one partner has been struggling with depression).

If there are situations where you need some space from each other but don't want any further drama surrounding divorce (e.g., visitation arrangements), then try being cordial when speaking with each other about these matters; otherwise, just avoid talking about what went wrong between them altogether until after things have settled down again (and hopefully improved).

3. Write things down when you can't remember

The first thing to do when you can't remember something is to write it down. Use your phone or a notepad, but make sure that you keep the notes in a safe place where they'll be easy for you to find later. If possible, try not to rely on technology as much during this time—it's important not only because it may distract from what needs doing but also because technology can often lead us into false confidence about our abilities and abilities of others (especially when we're feeling stressed). It's okay if something slips through the cracks; just make sure that once all is said and done, everything is back where it belongs!

4. Keep calm

One of the most important things to remember when dealing with a divorce nightmare is that you should keep calm and collected. You don't want to go into a conversation with the mindset that you're going to get into an argument, but rather stay focused on what needs to be done in order for everyone involved in your case (you and your spouse) get through this difficult part of their life unscathed.

This means keeping an open mind, being patient with each other's emotions, and not letting yourself get too emotional over things like who gets custody of their kids or whether they have to pay off debts before they can move out of their house.

5. Over communicate with your ex-spouse

It’s important to be honest and upfront about your feelings, but don't overdo it. If you feel like you need to talk about something that happened in the past, ask yourself: “Does this really need to be said out loud? Is there a better way for me to express myself?” You should also make sure not only that they understand what happened, but also that they believe you when you tell them. It's okay if they don't believe everything—they're probably going through their own emotional turmoil right now too! But remember: being respectful of someone else's feelings is key here too; try not let any unkind words slip out under stress or anger (even if those emotions were justified). And remember: keep conversations civil at all times!

Gordon Law, P.C. - Queens Family and Divorce Lawyer are experienced family lawyer Queens and divorce lawyers who have proven track records of success in the legal field. We work with our clients to resolve issues surrounding their cases, and deliver the best results for our clients' goals. A divorce lawyer Queens is a specialist in family law and can help guide you through the process of settling a divorce. 

Gordon Law, P.C. - Queens Family and Divorce Lawyer 161-10 Jamaica Ave #205, Queens, NY 11432, United States (347) 670-2007 https://www.nylawyersteam.com/family-law-attorney/locations/queens