#sorry this came to me in a vision. you all love me for my unfunny swag

[jokerlennon]

In case you haven’t noticed, I'm weird. I’m a weirdo. I don't fit in. And I don't want to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That's weird.

[karlachismylife]

10, 18, 63 of this ask game!!! 😏🧡

Yayy hello my love! Thank you for sending in hehee sorry I'm a yapper...

10. Cltr+f "blinks" on your WIP & copy paste the first sentence/paragraph that comes up

At first I was like: oh shit I actually don't have a WIP that has text in it? (my writing process is Something Else) unless I wanted to say that Queen of the Clan is one massive WIP but posting stuff from already published chapters is no fun. But then I remembered I had something started for fem!ghoap and although no one blinks there (yet), have the closest thing here lmao

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

Most often (like with all my Love Is Illegal Celebration fics for example) it's after I finish writing, sometimes (especially if it's a big and/or multi-part one) it comes in the process. I think I only has started with a title a few times and that was because my mind came up with a beautiful phrase/good pun that unraveled into a story later.

I like naming stuff after I finish it, because it allows me to know the vibe and the details of the story - since my favourite thing to do is take a rather small detail and make a title out of it (for example, in "Flutter Into The Sky" reader is compared to a butterfly maybe once or twice, but that's the image I used to title the whole thing). My art/writing is very much about finding little images, unusual combinations, it might be less evident in my English writing, but when I write in my native language I am constantly seeking some unconventional comparisons and such, so putting them into the title is the thing for me.

But I also like puns (sorry but I'll never understand why people consider puns dumb/unfunny/stupid sort of humor, it's actually quite hard to come up with a good and original pun), hense every chapter in my hyena au (which is about spotted hyenas specifically) is named with an idiom that contains the word "spot" in it. I literally just have a list of the idioms opened and since I know what the chapter will contain, I just seek something that more or less relates to the content (like oh they'll be having lunch in that chapter - here's "a spot of lunch"). What will I do once I run out of the idioms? No idea, but I dread the day.

And finally, song lyrics/titles. It's actually something I only started doing here, on tumblr (actually, wrong, I just remembered that my biggest fic of all times is called Hoist the colours). Between the "Total Eclipse of the Heart" with Karlach x Soap coming to me in literal vision (a pun, see?) and me trying to promote some oldschool songs by naming my celebration challanges after them (cuz you know, when I celebrated 30 subs, I used a song with the number 30 in it, and so with a hundred...), I just thought I'd stick to using songs for this. So at first I wanted to name evey Love Is Illegal fic after a song with the number 100 in it, but that turned out to be too complicated, so I just started taking songs that had lyrics and/or vibes more or less suited for the stories. And of course most of the time the song needs to pass the test of "does it feel nice to read the fic while listening to it on repeat".

63. Something you hate to see in smut.

There's actually not much I hate to see in smut. Most of the time it's just things I'm not into (like, I honestly don't get dacryphilia, so if it's the main point of the fic, I'll probably just stop reading it), so I simply close it and move on. And most of the kinks I'm not into I can still read and sometimes even enjoy if written well, so there's really not much that can make me feel actual hate. When I'm reading smut in my native language, there's a big problem with uhhh words they use to avoid saying "cock" and, even worse, "pussy". I think English writers can have this problem too, but I'll be honest, the things I sometimes see in smut are like... top cringe ever. And the thing is, I can't even really blame them, because somehow writing "pussy" and "clit" and other words that are totally okay and sexy in English smut, makes for the most cringe-inducing Russian smut. They just don't match the vibe, "pussy" is kinda very much cringe, "cunt" is actually very vulgur so it's suited only for a specific style of writing/scene, "vulva" is like the one I always end up using but it's quite awkward and feels too official/medical, and "vagina" and "clit/clitoris" sound too out of place and almost medical. Of course there are ways to avoid the cringe and to write amazing smut, and I bet the reason why all the words naming fem genitalis feel so "dirty" "unsexy" and "degrading" is some deep rooted mysoginy, but it's honestly mental gymnastics every time. So while I get the struggle of people decribing "little warm caves of love" and "jade wands", maybe just don't, buddy, maybe just write "and then they FUCKED".

So yeah. If I hate anything in smut, it's when it's written real bad, all the other things make me upset, but not hateful. Like, I actually struggle when there's no love to feel between characters. And I also somehow tend to feel whether or not the author was putting in that love, I can't explain it, but I actually had this confirmed several times, so yeah, no love = no happy Juju. But not just in smut, any work without love just feels wrong and upsetting to me. But in smut it is especially important if there's degradation and such involved, cuz sorry, but I can only survive being/seeing a fave character being called a cumwhore, a cocksleeve and a useles slut if it's VERY EVIDENT that they don't actually mean it. Otherwise okay bye Imma go jump off a cliff.

I don't know how I manage to combine some unhinged fantasies and kinks with this need for love to be at core of literally everything, but I actually have seen other people so it so beautifully, so I know I'm not alone and it is possible to be a freak and a romantic.

P.S. Decided to add that I actually think that vulva is a very sexy word, but unfortunately I have only written for some very brute masculine barbarian at heart women so they would never actually use this word organically. They're more inclined to call their genitals "cunt" but since they all were fucking other women and afab people that they were deeply in love with, they couldn't call their loved ones' parts this rude word either. Smut is a struggle comrades.

[7livky]

Dionysus - Park Jimin

CHAPTER 12

"We were together in our previous lives and will be together in our next life"

- DNA by BTS

Jimin's POV

I got out of the shower as Jungkook tossed me my bathrobe. "Thanks" ,I smirked and he smirked back. I looked at my reflection as the drops of water in my hair fell on my forehead.

"Here" ,Jungkook handed me a small towel, winking at me and walking out of the bathroom with his own wet hair. I grinned slightly before drying my hair with the towel.

"Taehyung, you burned my food!"

Even though I was one floor up, I could hear Jin's screams all the way up here. And I was sure that Taehyung was laughing like a devil right now.

"Yoongi, say something to him!"

Silence as usual.

I laughed out loud, stepping out. There was a beautiful sunset that made my dark walls look like yellow and red. As with every evening glow, I filled my glass with red wine and watched the sun coloring red.

Just as I was about to go and change, a second light shone into my field of vision. I put the glass back on the table and watched the conch. A sparkle surrounded its shape as it flickered. Then suddenly a blue butterfly flew through the window, landing on the white shell.

I immediately loosened the bows of my bathrobe before getting dressed. Standing in front of the mirror, my hair dried with a single stroke of my hand. Was it called magic or power?

I hurried down and ran faster and faster. "Jimin where to?" everyone asked.

Without observing them, I hurried through the corridor and stopped in the entrance hall. Only seven days since I couldn't perceive this scent, and yet I realized how much I'd missed it.

"Three," I leaned against the front door, "Two," smiled slightly, "One."

"Park Jimin! Open the door!"

I heard a loud honking instead of a knocking behind me.

"Come on!"

Still the same annoying honking.

"My beauty" ,I said to annoy her while she stared at the open door and back at me. I took a step forward. "One more inch and your car would be in the pillar."

"I don't" she got out, "give a fuck." With her finger pointed at me, she was slaloming up to me.

"Did you drove here drunk?" With bare feet, I ran down the steps to catch her.

"Don't touch me" ,she screamed even though she was already hugging me. "I hate you" ,she then whispered as she buried her face in my neck.

Her eyes were like evening air, her voice like a rose as she continued to form cursing words with her lovely lips.

"I knew you were near me" ,I said, stroking her head.

Without letting go of me, " How?"

I smiled as dozens of butterflies fluttered around her body. "Look around you, Diona."

Her warm body moved away from mine before she raised her arm and one of the invertebrates landed on her thin index finger. " They are beautiful.."

"For all I know, this species loves water plants. Funny, it seems like they really like you."

She looked into my eyes and lowered her arm, on which the blue butterfly had just lingered. "You haven't answered my question."

"When I tell you, you will leave" ,I pulled her back to me, "and I will miss you again."I brushed against her rosy cheek.

"JIMIN-SSI!"

Jungkooks roar echoed through the hall. Drunk Diona in front of me couldn't contain herself and laughed like a donkey. Before she would sit down on the steps to laugh more comfortably, I grabbed her light body and pulled her in.

"Hey! That's called kidnapping!"

"Don't you dare hit me again, Diona," I turned to her, seeing her fist floating in the air.

" How- I, huh?!"

The boys exchanged their looks when they noticed us in the room. Jin's eyes widened as he bent over. "Welcome, Diona."

On her wobbly legs, she also bent over. "Good evening, guys."

"I couldn't introduce myself last time. Hi, I'm Seokjin-"

"The gaffer in the group."

Jin threw the fork in his hand at Taehyung. I slapped my forehead and let her fall onto one of the free chairs. "You'll eat something and sober up."

She hit the table. "Stop-giving-me-ORDERS!"

"DIONA!" Jungkook yelled with that same Jiminssi voice.

But she rolled her eyes instead of being intimidated. "You go drink your banana milk, JK."

Before you knew it, Jin was already laughing like a windshield. "Worldwide funny goddess ha ha!"

My throat dried up completely.

"Goddess?!" she yelled.

"Jin hyung, why don't you bring the food, hm?" "Taehyung dragged him to the kitchen.

Yoongi appeared out of nowhere before he filled her glass with alcohol.

"She was supposed to sober up.." but then I realized that he wanted to save the situation before she asked any more questions.

"Jimin, why are you still standing there? Sit down, you're hungry." I nodded at Jungkook and sat down next to my beauty.

I observed every move she made, how she ran through her shiny hair, with the curly ends touching her back. How she licked her lips and the taste made her smile. How she still sat next to me even though she 'hated' us all.

"Hey, Diona," Jin said as he came back from the kitchen.

Oh, no, here we go.

"How do you describe Greek mythology in five words?"

Before he went any further, she already bit her lower lip so she wouldn't burst out laughing.

"Unfortunately, Zeus was feeling horny."

My heart fluttered like a fragment of heaven when I saw her smile. This woman had such perfect lips and snow-white teeth that she made it difficult for me to breathe.

"Yoongi, why aren't you laughing?!" she cried out in amusement while everyone was ashamed.

"I wish I was born as a stone and didn't have to hear this every day" said Yoongi in whispers.

"Yeah, well that'd be way better, because then maybe I would have overlooked you at some point and kicked you with my dirty sole or I would have seen you and thrown you away on purpose."

"Wow wow wow, guys. No offense. Not in this household!" We looked at Taehyung.

Annoyed, Jungkook got up and put food on every plate. But Diona's gaze was fixed on the fruit plates the whole time.

"Hungry for grapes?"

All her thoughts paused. Slowly, she turned her head to look at me. I grinned playfully, picking a delicious grape. I put my arm on the backrest behind her and waited for her to open her beautiful mouth.

"Seems familiar, huh?" ,I whispered and had to admit that being the reason for her nervousness gave me more pleasure than alcohol.

"I don't drink whiskey with grapes, sorry" she winked before showing me her back.

"I WiLL nOt! nEvErTheLeSs I aM sTiLl hUrT" ,I imitated her and she knew exactly where it came from.

She grabbed one of the lying knives on the table before she pressed the tip against my chest. "That's exactly why I came here, you jerk!"

The others stopped conversing.

"We'll talk after I've eaten, you just calm down until then" ,this time I winked before ignoring her.

"Suga," she just had to say and he already refilled her glass. "From now on, you're the only one I like around here."

"Hey! What about me?" ,Tae mumbled.

"Right. You haven't done anything to me either."

"I've known you the longest of all!" ,Jungkook showed me his conscious stare that made me grin, "How can you not like kookie monster?"

"Jungkook, I don't know why, but no matter what you do, I want to beat you every second."

"That's because I'm good at everything, sweety."

She pretended to throw up. "Sweety? You to me? Oh, please. Better go upstairs with Jimin and make out before you go on a live stream pretending that only one of you is there."

She handed me a towel while I was choking.

"Jin Hyung, go tell another joke quickly" ,Taehyung whispered loud enough.

"Why did God invent wine?"

Silence.

"So that Dionysus could never rule the world."

I raised my index finger and boom his water was no longer water. "Jimin," he growled at me as he gazed at his glass of wine now.

Diona was still laughing at his unfunny joke like a drunken Russian. We continued to eat in peace.

"I have a question!" Her eyes almost closed, "Where are J-Hope and RM?"

I stopped chewing. Just like everybody else.

"Aren't you only one when all seven of you are together?"

The boys all lowered their heads while my heart was aching. I pushed the chair back and stood up, pulling her up. "Come on."

"I'll make her some tea later", Jin told me as I thanked him with a nod and smile. Diona's body lost its strength as she fell into my arms.

"Why do you always have to smell so good?"

"Oh, do I? Tell me more."

She tripped over her own foot. "Not until you call me your beauty."

Did this woman even know how I tried to stop myself from kissing her right here and now?

"Tell me more, my beauty," I whispered against her temple as her skin almost touched my lips.

"Your scent reminds me of my homeland. There are so many fertile plains with plenty of delicious fruits. But your scent also resembles the freshness of a river there, the Pinios. Shit, why do you feel like home?"

We stopped in the hall.

"How come I only lasted a week without you, when I hate you so much? Every time I get drunk, my feet bring me here. I have so many questions, but I don't even know where to start, damn it."

Freeing herself from my grip, she headed for my room. I bit my lips as she went on with her impossibly hot body. Still in a frenzy, she ran up the stairs while I followed her closely.

"I never wanted to come here again" she said sadly as we stood in the room.

"But you listened to your heart." I put my arms around her delicate body as I absorbed her warmth. "I have missed you, beautiful lady."

She put her hand on my wrist. "I hate it when you call me that."

"You told me to call you that a moment ago."

"I lied then."

"You can't lie to me, I can read minds."

She giggled as her body vibrated under my touch. "Oh yeah? Then what am I thinking when you call me like that?"

I watched the stars and the moon, which brightened the room. "Am I really his beauty? Wow..."

"Do you smell that too?" she suddenly asked.

"What?" I sniffed like a dog.

"Your hope in the air?"

I rolled my eyes, letting her go. " That' it. Go beg Tae or Yoongi to call you by that name, okay?"

She watched me bury myself under my sheets before I closed my eyes.

"Um. hello-ooo? How could a god like Dionysus possibly get jealous?"

"Jimin?"

"Shh!"

" Are you sleeping?"

"Hey, I wanted to talk!"

"You can't dump me like this!"

I felt her hands over the bedding as she almost pricked my eye with a finger. "Where the hell is your face?"

Before she could uncover my face, I grabbed her by the shoulders and pressed her to the mattress.

"Here," I replied.

"I think I'm in love" ,she bit her lip.

I held my breath.

"With your bed. Man, it's so comfy."

And breathe out again.  " You're gonna regret everything you ever do and say to me someday, just wait."

"O great Dionysus, tell me what my punishment would be!" She wiggled with her thick brows.

This woman...

"Once you are caught in Dionysus' rush," I supported myself on my elbow, "there is no going back to reality."

"I haven't been in that one since long ago."

Her fingers were burning on my neck while I was trying to control myself.

"Ever since I saw that one picture of you."

[cardiaceyes]

Supportive wives: Alex comes out to Kara and Lena. And ofc they give her lots of hugs and stuff.

Sorry it took awhile.Read on ao3

Alex paces in front of the apartment door.

She knows Kara has probably seen and heard her by now but respects her enough to let her continue to pace and just think and she appreciates that. She’s thankful. What she has to say…well it’s a lot because it’s been on her mind a lot lately and she isn’t certain she could handle any given bad outcome.

Well- okay, it might sound a little ridiculous because her maybe, sort of, possibly coming out to her sisters? Who are married to each other? And women? It probably is ridiculous to think they wouldn’t accept her regardless. Not when Lena has been the one to pull her aside despite her bravado and tell her to talk because she needed it. Not when Kara is her alien sister.

The worst, she thinks, that could happen is the girl she sort of likes is someone they might not like. Or Kara being confused as to why it’s a bad thing, despite her experiences with homophobia, because her planet was one where it just didn’t matter the gender of your partner. She didn’t really experience the turmoil of what other people might think because it didn’t matter to her just whether or not Lena liked her back and her experiences with homophobic people since.

Still, she’s worried about what they might think.

If not that she’s maybe gay (she’s still working it out, and that’s okay), then that she denied herself of this truth for so long…doesn’t that make her not so brave anymore? Will they be disappointed she was so adamant she had to be straight because there’s a world ready to hurt anyone that’s not? Ready to kill anyone who’s not?

Perhaps that’s why she’s so scared. Not because they’ll think she’ll be lesser for being gay, they are not straight in the slightest too after all, but because they might think she’s not as strong as she tries to be. That she let fear guide her actions and cloud her vision from this, that maybe she doesn’t really understand her completely.

Lena and Kara mean so much to her, as do their opinions, she couldn’t handle it if they were disappointed in her.

But she knows that if she can just say it to them she can talk to them, and she desperately needs to be lent an ear and advice by someone who DOES understand. She can’t do this alone because she’ll admit she’s not sure of how to accept herself in every aspect. She’s used to trying to force herself to change for the situations at hand. She just needs help, and that’s okay.

So she pulls some of her previous bravery before she started panicking in front of the door, and knocks twice and waits. Holds her breath. She just needs to know they’ll still love her and help her if she needs it because a hateful world has taught her she’s nothing but a sin���a bad person.

The door pulls open and she can hear light laughter, music in the background, and is met with Lena who wears one of Alex’s old band merch sweaters she thought she lost, dark sweats, and hair in a braid she guesses Kara has done. She gives a small smile as she lets out a breath.

“Alex!” Lena exclaims with a bright smile, stepping away from the door to pull her into a hug to which she instantly melts into.

There’s something so nice about the warming and loving hugs Lena gives, like things could just melt away. Kara gives those ones that could make anyone feel safe. It’s one of her favorite things, to get hugs from her sisters. Forehead kisses and late night sister cuddling while watching a movie are runner ups too.

When Lena gives her a last squeeze and pulls back, Alex is let in and the door is shut behind them. Her eyes search out Kara and find the Kryptonian with a plate of food at the small table, glasses set aside, and a paint-stained dinosaur onesie. It’s quite odd and cute she can’t help but let out a laugh moving to place a kiss on the top of Kara’s head.

“Sorry I’m a little late,” she apologizes.

Lena shakes her head and gestures to a chair at the table where a plate of food is waiting for her as she resumes her place next to Kara.

“Don’t worry. Sorry, we started a little early without you, Kara was quite hungry,” on cue Kara gives a grin despite the food in her mouth to which Alex can only roll her eyes at.

“Our little trash compactor,” she teases, earning a pout.

“Little?” Lena outright laughs, “That’s a good one. Little. Her appetite is not little.”

Alex can only let out a half-hearted laugh that makes her cringe. She wishes it sounded more genuine because now Kara’s brows are furrowed and her head is tilted. Kara can just tell. Lena seems to be struggling for a moment with a noodle, and Alex has to remind herself to eat something or she’ll look even more suspicious.

Dinner continues in the same manner.

Small talk, catching up on everyone’s week, plans for the next movie or game night, visiting Eliza, and jokes in which Alex can’t really put more heart into because her brain just won’t shut off. Kara knows something is up because she’s constantly giving Alex a concerned look and she knows Lena is concerned too because every time she laughs at an unfunny joke or says something that doesn’t sound quite right her brows will tick upward for a split second. It’s subtle.

Eventually, the reality and weight of what she has to say presses on her chest again and she can’t bring herself to finish her food. It’s then that Kara speaks up.

“What did you want to tell us? You said over the phone you had something?”

Alex inhales sharply and has to take a moment to prepare herself.

“Alex,” she looks up at Lena, eyes filled with concern, “you can tell us you know that, don’t you?”

Alex nods and lets out a small laugh.

“Yeah, no. I know I promise,” she gives a small smile, “I have to tell you something and I just…I don’t know if I can? You know? I don’t want you to think-”

Hands grasp hers, and chairs move so both Lena and Kara are pressed against her sides, hands wrapped around her to squeeze her reassuringly. It makes her smile for a moment that they move in sync like this, then she remembers what she wants to tell them. She feels anxious again, of course.

“You can tell us anything,” Lena says.

“Absolutely anything,” Kara agrees, “but take your time.”

So she does. She nods and sits there for a couple of minutes before she can speak.

“Vicky came back,” she feels Kara stiffen, Kara didn’t like the way Vicky left, “and wanted to grab lunch. I agreed because I still have some of her things, and we got to talking…I just- when I was in high school- was I dating her?”

Lena gives her a look, Kara looks like she needs clarification.

“It’s just- she said that the way we acted. Like we were kind of like you two? But not in love, dating, romantic, and that’s why she left. Because she got scared about being gay-”

“Alex-” Alex continues, slightly panicked.

“-and she said she was scared because it’s what she wanted but her parents didn’t accept that, you know? So she was rude, she yelled, she left, and- was I heartbroken? She said some things while we were talking that I agreed with and then-”

“Alex, please just take a-”

“She kissed me!” She blurts.

She’s met with silence so she continues with the memory of soft addicting lips against her own.

“S-she kissed me. I didn’t stop her…I think I- it wasn’t like kissing guys you knows? Guys are…okay, but I felt more from this kiss than I ever did with any guy and I just- I wish I’d known earlier. I wish I was stronger, I wish I was okay with myself, I wish I wasn’t-”

“Ashamed?” Lena asks softly.

Alex nods and cries, right into her hands. It doesn’t take but a second before she’s pulled into Kara’s chest who just rocks gently and she can feel Lena’s hands comb through her hair. They give her time to sober up, give her what she needs and she couldn’t be more thankful than she is now.

“Alex,” Lena speaks softly, “please took at me, sis?”

Alex does, furiously wiping at her eyes until Lena’s hands stop her own with a small sad smile.

“You know how my mother felt about me being gay,” Alex can feel the anger build at the memory of being told the awful things Lillian told Lena, “so I know how it feels to be brought up in a hurtful world. I also know how it feels to be loved for being me. You’re not weak, you’re so strong.”

“The strongest,” Kara agrees into her hair, still holding her sister.

“Exactly,” Lena nods, “you didn’t know until now, and that is perfectly okay. I knew from a young age, but not everyone does. There are women in their fifties and thirties just figuring that out, and that is okay.”

“B-but- I wasn’t-”

“Oh, Rao, Alex,” Kara frowns, setting her chin on Alex’s head, “being scared doesn’t mean you aren’t brave. Not knowing yourself fully yet doesn’t mean you aren’t brave. It just means you have to discover you. You know the best part?”

Alex moves her head to look into cerulean eyes that sparkle with hope.

“You don’t have to do it alone.”

“We will never let you be alone,” Lena promises.

“I-” she doesn’t know how to ask, really?

“Yes,” Kara confirms, tugging her back into a warm hug.

She receives two kisses to the top of her head. Kara relenting her release on her sister so Lena can pull her into a hug as well. Lena doesn’t let go, not for a very long time.

“I was scared you two would be disappointed…” She admits softly.

“Never,” Lena reassures, “I am the luckiest person in the world to have both a wife and the best big sister I could ever ask for. I don’t want more, you make me proud to be me. Do you know that?”

“You’re the only reason I’ve ever felt like me,” Kara admits with a fond smile, “we could never be disappointed.”

A comfortable silence sets.

“…so who’s going to tell mom all her kids are gay?” She manages to joke after all of her tears are dried.

Lena snorts, Kara laughs so hard she falls out of her chair. No one thought about that.