#sorry these photos are ass 😔🥺

[stitchwraith-stingers]

self indulgent jasazel doodles because I wasnt doing well yesterday

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

@catchuuu @staryukis

butch gojo again

[seenoversundown]

For Death Or Glory : Chapter Twenty-Three

Jake Kiszka x Charlotte (Fem OC)

Warnings: A little fluff, some very vague Sexual References, a handful of Unfortunate Scenarios, Anxiety, Mentions of Vomiting (super brief and non-descriptive) Anger, Description of a Panic Attack, and.. a lot of crying.

Word Count: 5.2k

Summary: It's the day before the anniversary and something is in the air.

Author's Note: ... I'm so sorry. 😔 The emotional turmoil this chapter has put me through- we all knew something would happen and I just.. we're all in this together, guys 😭🤧🖤 Love you all so much 🥺

Leaving My Love Behind - Lewis Capaldi "Could you tell me is it all a waste of time? Are you leaving my love behind? Baby, say the word and let me know."

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“Are you sure you need to leave now?” I ask her, squeezing her hand gently as we walk towards her car. 

“Yes, sadly,” She sighs. “I need to get a little work done and pack up some stuff for the weekend.”

I look over at her, forcing a slightly disgusted look on my face, “I guess that makes sense.. I don’t like it, though.” I wasn’t able to keep the look on my face, laughing the second she looked at me. 

“Maybe.. If you’re not still busy doing things later, I can come back?” She asks, raising her eyebrows at me. Like, I’ll say no? 

“You can come back even if I am busy,” I tell her. “It might motivate me to get shit done.” 

She turns to face me, giggling as she leans into me, “I’m suddenly feeling like a reward.”

“A very pretty one,” I whisper, kissing her gently. “The prettiest, actually.”

“Now you’re just trying to kiss my ass,” she laughs, gently hitting my chest.  

“Honey, I don’t think I need to try that hard for you to let me do that,” I say quietly, wiggling my eyebrows at her.  

“Jacob!” 

“What?”

“You know what.” 

“Am I wrong?” I ask, my eyebrow pops up, knowing that I’m absolutely correct.  

“I’m mad that you’re not,” she pouts for a moment until she looks back at me with a devilish little grin on her face.  “You could kiss wherever you wanted, babe,”

“You can’t say things like that,” I tell her, pointing at her when I quickly follow it up with,  “Don’t say anything else.”

“Oh, is Captain a little–” she starts to taunt me, but I cut her off. 

“Char,” I say sternly. “Unless you want anybody who walks by to know what I have going on, shut up.” She throws her head back with laughter, like the little shit that she is. 

“Okay, go do things so you can come back to me,” I pull open her car door for her, watching her plop herself into the seat. Her hands grabbed mine and tugged me down to her, the cute little smile she had on her face. I know what she’s waiting for. Leaning in to kiss her again and mumbling, “One more.”  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

“I heard that things must be going well with Ms. Charlotte,” Josh says under his breath. 

“Oh?”

“I guess she seemed pretty flustered when they asked about you,” he tells me. “Also, you two took pictures together, and you didn’t show me?” Oops. 

“Here,” handing him my phone to swipe through the pictures. 

“Oh, well, aren’t you two just precious?” He has a grin plastered on his face. “Look at both of you, just smitten.”

I can feel my face warm as he says it, admitting, “She is pretty great.” 

“Are you going to try and turn it into something?” He asks. 

“I’ve been trying to figure out how,” I tell him. “I feel like she’s starting to lean that way too.” 

“Well, maybe you should mention it,” his voice is filled with excitement. “I can’t imagine she would turn you down. I mean look at her?” He points at her face in one of the photos; her beaming at me before she had turned to the person taking our picture. 

I stare at her for a second before looking back over to him, “Maybe I will after this weekend.” 

Josh takes over with any customers who wander in so I can get everything organized. Thursday is going to be such a good day off after all this. 

I spend a few hours cleaning behind the bar, just trying to get rid of any random empty bottles or trash that have found a way to stay here. It’s helpful that there’s typically only a couple of us back here, so it’s never really terrible to pick up. 

In the middle of pulling some bottles to wipe down, I feel my phone start to vibrate against my leg. 

Why is she calling me? 

I flash my phone screen to Josh before walking down the hall to get away from the noise. I answer, a bit panicked,  “Mum, is everything okay?” 

“Well, our flights got delayed,” She tells me, which instantly makes me feel a bit better. “We won’t be able to stop by tonight. I’m sorry, sweetheart.” She sounds disappointed, which I hate. 

“No, it’s okay.” I breathe out. “As long as you get here, that’s what matters.”

“Oh, I can’t wait to squish your little face,” she says, already back to her usual self. 

I sit in the chair in my office, letting out, “I’ll be excited to see you tomorrow. I miss you.”

“And I miss you, sweets.” 

“Just let me know when you land?”

“Of course.” She says. “How’s everything going today? Are you excited for tomorrow?” 

“I think I’ll be more excited once everything’s done.” I breathe out, knowing I still need to do inventory before the night is over. 

“Josh said that you’ve been in a better mood lately..” the inflection in her voice tells me she’s up to something when she asks, “Who is she?” 

Of course, he told her. They gossip like two teenage girls, I swear. 

“It’s complicated,” I tell her, my voice quiet. “I do really like her, though.” 

She quickly asks, “What do you mean complicated?” 

“Uhh..” I hesitate.  I can’t tell my mom we’ve just been sleeping together. 

“Jacob Thomas!” She scolds before making me more uncomfortable.  “Please just don’t get her pregnant if that’s what you’re doing.” 

“Jesus- MOM,” I say, my hand flying up to cover my face. This can’t be happening right now. 

“I know you’ve had a rough go at dating, but sweetie, I don’t know if just hooking up would be good for you. I-.”

“Mum, please,” I cut her off. I’d rather chew on cement than listen to her talk about my sex life. “I actually really like this girl.” 

“Is she going to be there tomorrow?” 

“I think so,” I know I sound timid, but with the luck I’ve had in the past— it’s hard to sound confident about anything in the dating department. “Please don’t scare her, though. She’s still getting used to everyone.”

Her laugh radiates through the phone, “I’ll keep my mouth shut, but you better point her out.” 

“I can send you a picture so I don’t have to awkwardly point her out.” 

She yells, “You have a picture?!” 

My face is going to be permanently red at the rate I’m going, but I laugh quietly at her. “Yes, I’ll text it to you.” 

“Okay, well,” she starts, “Tell your brothers about the delay so they don’t worry.” 

“I will.” 

“Thank you, sweetheart. I’ll let you go, but.. don’t forget to send that picture. I love you!” 

“I won’t,” I giggle quietly. “I love you, too.” 

I quickly pull up my texts with her sending one of the pictures; otherwise, she’ll never leave me alone. I see the typing bubbles pop up a little too quickly. 

Mom: OMG 

Mom: Oh my she is BEAUTIFUL!! 😍

Mom: I love seeing you smile, sweetheart! 

Me: she is haha 

Me: thank you 🖤

I slide my phone back into my pocket, grab my notebook, and walk back out into the bar. Sam sat in his typical barstool when I came around the corner behind the bar. 

“Hi bud,” I look over at him, “What are you doing here?” Glancing around and not seeing Willa anywhere. 

“So..” he starts. “Remember how I took all those pictures for you?” He anxiously draws little figure eights on the bar top as he looks at me. 

I just hum back, “Mhm.”

“Well.. they’re gone,” his face cringing. 

I let out a long breath before dryly saying, “Wonderful. Did you come here just to tell me this?”

He snaps a picture with flash close to my face, and I just blink slowly at him a few times, “Okay— what are we doing here?” 

“I’m going to try to get new ones for you if that works,” he stares at me with a questionable smile. 

I look around at all the things I need to get done and back at him, “Uh, sure. Just do what you need to.” 

“I’ll try to be quick, promise!” He says, hustling off to take whatever photos he wants. It’s okay; he’ll get everything taken care of. 

I’m elbow-deep in doing inventory behind the bar when I suddenly hit a speed bump; it’s in the shape of my twin brother. 

“So, I think Quinn and I will try to get decorating done in the morning,” he tells me excitedly. The two of them really are the ones who planned the entire night because they love nothing more than celebrating things, apparently. 

I mumble back, “That’s great.”

“They made a bunch of things for the anniversary–” He continues on his tangent about the party. “We also decided to come up with a little specialty menu for you!”

“Mhm.” I don’t want to ignore him, but good god, I just need to get this shit done. 

Hearing him ramble on further, “And we thought this would be good because of–”

“Sure, Josh, whatever you want to do,” I know my tone probably sounds irritated, but he’s slowing me down with all his thoughts that he could have told me before I started this. 

My phone vibrates several times against my leg; what else could be going on? 

Danny: hey, I’m gonna be a few minutes late

Danny: this kid will not chill out. I think she’s just overtired and is refusing to lay down.

At least it’s not really his fault. I can’t blame him for that. 

Me: it’s okay, just get here when you can

What is in the air today? Seems like nobody can catch a break. Sliding my phone back into my pocket, I try to focus back on getting everything accounted for back here so I can escape to the back room. Which that part should go more smoothly.

I grabbed the receipt from the order that came in today, browsing through it to discover that one of the Downeast flavors we tried to get is back ordered. Sick. Slowly stocking the bar and bringing the rest of it to the back, I find another mistake. 

“What the fuck is going on,” I mutter to myself, as I’m moving the extra beer that we didn’t order in the back room to get it out of the way. It’s not that big of a deal. I’ll just call the distributor on Monday and figure it out. 

Grabbing my notebook again, I start writing down everything we have in stock in the backroom. Thankful that we didn’t have to order too many things for tomorrow because it’s looking like it wouldn’t have mattered. 

“I think I got enough shots to make up for the lost ones,” Sam’s voice rings through the room. 

I sigh, looking over at him, “I’m glad.”

“You okay…?” He asks sheepishly before whispering, “You seem mad.” 

I stare at him again for a moment and then let out, “I’m not. Just a bunch of dumb shit has happened, but it’s okay.” Running my hand through my hair when I remember. “Oh, by the way, Mom called. Their flight got delayed, so they’ll be here late.” 

He pouts his bottom lip slightly, “Are you supposed to be grabbing them from the airport?” 

“Yeah,” I breathe out. 

He taps his fingers against the doorframe a few times, “If I can borrow your car, I’ll pick them up.”

That would make my life a little easier.. 

“Sure, that’s fine,” I tell him. “I’ll get you my car key in a minute if you don’t mind hanging out.” 

He nods, “I’ll go piss off Josh until you’re done.” Disappearing into the hall, I close my eyes for a minute. Okay, there’s just a few more things, and then I can at least just be upfront until Char comes back. 

Once I finally finish doing inventory, I drop my notebook on my desk, grab my car key, and then walk out to find Sam. 

“Here you go, bud,” I say, handing it over to him. “Please, just don’t crash.”

He salutes with a quiet, “Got it.” 

We both turn to see a girl stumble out of the bathroom, somehow making it back to her group, which is sitting over in the corner. Sam looks over at me wide-eyed, and I just return the look with a slight smirk. 

“Wanna do me a favor and run some water over to her?” I pat Sam’s back a few times. He just nods and laughs, standing up from the barstool he claimed earlier. 

I walk over, pulling open the door to the bathroom she came out of. 

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” I say out loud. Can something else stupid happen? Please, I love that everything is going wrong today of all days. I glance around for a second, taking a deep breath; well.. not that deep of a breath. Turning around and waving Josh down quickly.

He raises a brow at me, taking a few steps closer. 

“That girl just threw up everywhere..” I tell him, a disgusted look on my face.  “I will be cleaning this up for a minute. Are you good?”

“Yikes,” he lets out. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“It’s the blonde in the corner, don’t let her order any more. I sent Sam over with water already.”

I grab our mop, as many towels and sprays as I can physically hold in my arms. Thank god this doesn’t happen too often, I think to myself, locking myself in the torture chamber. It’s an unfortunate thing that comes with the territory, so I’ve gotten better at cleaning up when it does happen. 

At least Char should be back here soon, I hope. I daydream about how I wish I could bring her with me on Thursday, I believe that full well that my parents would love her. But, knowing that she is already looking forward to texting me the whole day makes my heart swell. One day, I’ll get to bring her ‘home’ to my parents.

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I hear the door chime ring, even with the music and everyone talking. There she is. It’s embarrassing how excited I get when she walks in, but after the day I’ve had, thank god. I see her linger near the door, holding her phone up to her ear but hanging up after not even a minute of being inside. 

I wander towards her until she looks up and notices me. I let out a quiet, “Hey you.” I reach my arm out to hug her, but the moment I start to pull her in, she backs away from me. 

“What are you doing?” laced with an attitude from her. 

“I-” hesitating at her tone, whispering,  “Honey, what do you mean?” 

Her eyebrows pull together, “We’re in public, Jacob.” 

“Okay? Why is that an issue?”

“Nobody is supposed to know?” She snaps, fully with a scowl on her face; her words feel harsh for some reason. 

I don’t know what’s going on, because she seemed fine earlier today. Did I do something?

I calmly tell her, “I’m..sorry. I thought we were kind of past that.” My eyebrow raises at the look on her face. 

“It’s fine,” she sighs. Her head shakes a few times, and she looks down at her shoes, her arms crossed.  

“What’s wrong then?” I ask, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

She avoids eye contact and mutters, “Nothing.”

I fold my arms over my chest; my heart starts to pound as I tell her, “Try again.” 

“It doesn’t matter,” she practically spits out. The way she’s speaking to me makes my heart feel like it’s going to burst through my chest. She’s never been like this around me. I nod my head towards the hallway, getting out of the main part of the bar. 

“What’s going on?” I try to stay calm, though my hands are shaking.  

She snaps again, “I told you, I’m fine.” A pain shoots through my chest at the sound of it. 

I lowered my voice when I finally asked, “What do I have to do, Charlotte?” 

“What do you mean?” she responds, her eyebrows pulled together, seeming genuinely lost. 

“For you to just let me in. You make me think that we’re onto something, and now you’re acting like this?” I can’t stop my voice from slowly rising, letting a ‘fuck’ slip out.

“Babe-” she starts, but I cut her off quickly. 

My voice is stern when I ask,  “No— what did I do wrong?” My heart aches, and it’s causing the anger to take over. I feel myself starting to shake, tensing my muscles to try and stop it. 

She reaches for my arms, her voice sounding more panicked now, “Baby, just listen to me-.” I pull back from her like she already did to me; my heart hurts at the pet name, only adding fuel to the fire. You can’t just call me that when you’re acting like this.    

“That’s all I’ve been trying to do,” I spit out. “You gotta give me something, Char.” She stares quietly, her expression blank. I watch her swallow before I continue, “You’ve been fine telling me things for the last few weeks. Why not now?” 

It was the first time in my life that I should be the one who stopped talking, but the panic is winning;  I lay into her more, “What could have happened, Charlotte? I just saw you this morning. What is it?”

Her expression changed at this point; she looked scared, her voice shaking when she started to say, “It’s just.. It’s–” 

If you’re going to leave me, just fucking do it. 

“If I did something, just say it.” 

Her voice was laced with panic when she told me, “Jacob, it isn’t your fault if you would just let me-” 

I cut her off, my voice raised, and I finally snapped at her, “Then who fucking died for you to be acting like this?” 

I’ve never regretted saying something faster in my life; the moment it left my mouth, I knew I fucked up. I watch the tears instantly flood her eyes. Fucking hell, why would I say that– 

“I— No, I didn't mean that,” I try to recover as fast as I can; the anger I felt disappeared, realizing I just shoved my foot fully down my throat with that comment. But she shakes her head at me before quickly turning and walking fast down the hall towards the back door. “Char, wait-“ No, no, no, no.

She’s absolutely crying by this point, rightfully so, and walks out the back door. I might as well have run out of the bar, the cold air making it painful to breathe. A new type of panic is taking over. 

“Charlotte,” I pick up my pace, “I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry.” I’m practically out of breath just walking behind her. “Please, hun, stop.”

 “No, Jacob, you stop!” she yells, turning to face me. We can’t be back to ‘Jacob.’ I can’t. “You didn’t want to listen before; why am I going to waste my breath now?” The pain is clear on her face, the waver in her voice. God, I’m so fucking dumb.

“Honey, I-“

She cuts me off, “No, that wasn’t fucking fair,” her voice and hand shakes as she points at me and my heart breaks more seeing her cry. She sobs out, “And you know that.” The tears rolling down her face make my own throat tighten up. 

“No, I do. I do,” my own voice shakes this time. My chest feels like it’s caving in. The tears welled up and threatened to escape any second. I step closer to her, wiping her tears away as mine start to fall. Her sweet face just barely leaned into my hand; please don’t leave me. 

My other hand comes up to wipe my own face, but I can’t hold it back anymore, “Char, I’m so sorry,” comes out in a sob as I pinch the bridge of my nose, and I feel her close the gap between us. Wrapping her arms tight around me, my hand moves to hold the back of her head. I rest my face against her and close my eyes as I feel her body shake in my arms.  I can't lose her. 

“I’m so sorry, honey. I didn’t mean that, I swear to god.” I manage to quietly let out as I hold her close to me. I hate myself for hurting you. 

After a minute, pulling back to look at her, holding her jaw in my hands, the saddest kiss I’ve ever experienced. The feeling of her tears rolling over my thumbs as her lips press into mine, and I'm trying to hold it together long enough to get through it. Everything about the moment feels like this is ending, and we’re both just avoiding saying it. 

“Please don’t leave,” I manage to choke out, leaning my forehead against hers, “please.”  

 “I’m so sorry, Jacob,” she whispers back. “I just- I think I need to go.”

“No,” Slips out. I can’t stop the sob that comes out with it, feeling pathetic. “Please, tell me what’s wrong.” 

She shakes her head ‘no’ but reaches out, wipes my tears, and whispers, “One more.” She leans in, kissing me softly as both of our lips shake. I hold her close for as long as she’ll let me because I don’t know when or if I’ll get to again after this. I love you, Charlotte. I hope you know that. 

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 I watch as her car pulls away and drives off, doing everything in my power not to scream. My body hurts from choking back the heartbreak. 

“God damnit,” falls from my mouth. Trying to swallow the sob that’s sitting in my throat, more tears fall as I’m trying to blink them away. How did I fuck this up so bad? 

I lean against the wall, around the corner from the bar, sliding down until I’m sitting on my feet. Everything just comes out; a hard sob comes out a bit louder than I would have liked, but at this point, I can’t stop it.

 “Oh my god– Jake,” I hear Josh’s voice.  

His hands wrapped around my shoulders, forcing me to stand, and my head hung low. 

“Hey, what’s going on? What happened?”

I  look up at him finally, red-eyed, tears falling down in full force. My chin quivers, and I can’t stop myself from falling into him. Gripping the back of his shirt, I’m practically yelling into his shoulder. She can’t be gone. 

“She left,” I struggle to get out. 

“Charlotte?” 

“Yes,” my voice shakes, “I don’t know what to do.” 

“Ope, oh god, no,” he whispers; I can feel his breathing change a little. He backs up to look at me, wiping the tears off my face. His eyes also welled up, looking all over to try and find an answer.

“Jake, you need to take a breath for me,” his voice shakes as he does his best to instruct while tears start to fall down his face. 

I pull my hands up, covering my face, knowing I can’t look at him as I finally admit the truth, “I’m in love with her, Josh. God, I feel like I’m gonna throw up,” I cry; hearing it out loud just makes it more real. My stomach turning as I think about her.  

“I know you are,” he whispers, rubbing my arms to keep in contact with me. “I have no doubt in my mind— she loves you too.”

Hearing Josh sniffle loudly, I look up to see him standing there, one hand on my shoulder and the other covering his mouth as he watches me. 

“I can’t lose her,” I say shakily. “I– I can’t.” My chest is heaving as the panic comes out, shaking my head at the thought. “Oh god, I feel so stupid. I—”

“Jake, breathe.” 

I feel pathetic as I struggle to take a deeper breath, hearing the jagged sounds as I inhale and slowly let it back out. Fighting the urge to cry with every long breath. I just want her. My voice is practically a whimper when I let out, “Josh, my heart fucking hurts.. I don’t know what to do.”

He goes to say something but pauses, pinching the bridge of his nose to fight back the tears that are sitting in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. I hate seeing him upset, even if it’s unintentional. 

He quickly waves his hand at me, “Stop, stop, just give me a second. This isn’t at all how I wanted to help you.” He looks up at the sky, sucking in a deep breath before finally looking back at me. 

“I need you to just go home, okay?” he tells me. “I’ll close the bar down; just go take a hot shower or go crawl into bed, but you do not need to be back in there right now.”

“Okay,” I give in easily; I don’t think I could compose myself enough to be there. 

“I know you are going to want to talk to her, but you need to give her the space she wants–,” he starts. I just nod along, knowing he’s right but wishing he wasn’t. He whispers, “Oh, I'm so sorry, Jake.” He pulls me into another hug, rubbing my back for a minute as I just let the tears flow into his shirt.  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

It’s taking everything in me not to slam every door behind me and throw my boots across the room. Why did I say that? I sat on the end of my bed with my head in my hands for a few minutes. I raked my brain for anything that I could have said this morning that maybe was too much or if she had mentioned something, that would have made more sense as to why she was so upset.

“I need to work a little and then pack my stuff for the weekend.” 

The only thing she said that I feel like could have put her in a bad mood, but even then, is she just upset about having to spend the weekend with her parents? She never really brought up what her plan was outside of that. She did come into the bar on the phone, maybe one of her parents pissed her off, and I just made it worse? 

My phone lit up next to me, pulling me out of my head for a second. 

Charlotte: I made it home

Immediately, feeling tears sit in my eyes again. I stare at the message for a minute, debating on how to even respond without just spilling all my feelings to her. 

Charlotte, I love you. No- I’m so fucking in love with you. Maybe I messed up by letting myself fall for you when you said we could just be friends with benefits, but you’re more than I could have imagined. I just want to go back and actually shut up so you could talk. I don’t know why I didn’t just let you tell me what was wrong. That’s a lie. I panicked because I thought you didn’t want to keep me around anymore. I would never intentionally hurt you like I did; I honestly didn’t mean it, and god- I wish I never let that come out of my mouth. It was wrong and disrespectful, and that’s the last thing I ever wanted to do to you. I want to keep you to myself forever. You’re so beautiful and kind and everything I could have dreamt of. I want to spend forever showing you how special you are and giving you the love that you deserve because, my god, you deserve the sun, the moon, and everything in between. 

But– I can’t say that. 

Me: 🖤

I set my phone back down, knowing she isn’t going to say anything else. It’s hard to believe that I even have anything left in me to cry at this point. The tears land on my screen as I stare at it, waiting to see if she opens the text. The screen dims, and just before it would have locked, I see it change from ‘delivered’ to ‘read.’ The typing bubble pops up, and I flip my phone over. I’m not ready to read whatever she’s going to say. 

I feel the slight vibration from her text coming through, and I just leave my phone there. I grab one of my pillows and tuck my arm underneath it as I lay down. Closing my eyes, I try not to think of what she could have said. 

My heart aches as I lay there, doing everything in my power to think of anything else, but she plagues my mind. Her laugh, how she looks at me, the way her hands feel in mine. This can’t be over– I can’t let her go. The tears just continuously fall into my pillow as I try to fall asleep. Honey, I need you. 

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“Jake?” 

Josh’s voice startles me awake as he’s sat on the edge of the bed. I look up at him as he reaches over, tucking my hair behind me. 

“Why don’t you at least get comfortable, huh?” He whispers, gesturing at the fact I’m still completely dressed from earlier. “I’ll grab you a sweatshirt. It’s a bit chilly.” 

I unbutton and slide my jeans off, tossing them on the floor next to me before moving under the comforter. 

“Here,” Josh says quietly, handing me the sweatshirt and taking the shirt I had on from me. I pull it over my head and then immediately lay back down. He pulls the blankets up to cover me, sitting back down. “Do you want me to stay for a few minutes?” 

I just nod. His hand runs down the back of my head a few times before he just holds my shoulder, scratching gently to try and help me fall back to sleep. We sat there in silence for a while, having him in the room was enough to help keep me calm. I eventually drifted off, long enough for him to finally leave. I wouldn’t say that I slept well by any means, but I slept some. I tossed and turned relentlessly throughout the night, having to convince myself to sleep again. 

I grab my phone to check the time. 5:32 a.m. glows back at me. I don’t know if it’s curiosity or if I like to torture myself, but I unlock my phone, click on my messages and tap on her name, reading the message and setting my phone back down. I close my eyes, feeling a single tear run down my face before I drift back off to sleep. 

Charlotte: Goodnight Jacob

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Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Four

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[soobberries]

Do you think beomgyu would be into thigh riding?? / newbb anon

Anon I'm so sorry it took me so long to get back to you 😔🥺 I saved these photos for this ask so long ago, because to answer your question

YES HOLY SHIT YES.

I'm going to be looking at this from the perspective of reader riding his thighs, but if anyone wants me to go into Beomgyu being the one riding... Ahem... Feel free to ask hehe!

Although! I don't think he'd be down for it all the time. It fully depends on his mood.

On one hand, if he's in a good mood and wants to tease just to see your pretty looking flustered face, he'll be more than happy to indulge in it. He'll thrive off your whines or squirms, some days opting to just sit back and watch you try and get off, laughing at the way you struggle to fully get the right speed or friction without his help, other days keeping a firm grip on your hips as he pushes you over his thigh at a rough pace, bouncing his thigh for further friction just to see how many times he can try to make you cum just from his thigh...

In other words, he'd have a lot of fun and be in quite the mean dom state... However, if he's tired, maybe he'd be a nice dom, and just coo at you while partially aiding in helping you get off, bonus is that when he is tired, he'll keep his pants on and just chuckle when you get shy over the mess you leave on it, not that he minds.

Now there's other times though (I think this would be the funnest moods to catch him in but... He would make you feel small no doubt 💀) where I feel if he's irritated but unsure of how foul his mood actually is, he may start off with a 'yeah go ahead, ride my thigh' and then half way through get so annoyed or frustrated with an array of things, ranging from how long it's taking you to get off, the area you're rubbing on, whether he has clothes on or not, idk things would bug him and he'd just grip your hips to a still and be over the whole ordeal, using his hands or dick instead to help you because he's just not having it with the whole thigh riding thing on that day. Either way at least you cum heh, but he'll be angsty and it'll feel like he's scolding you directly, even though it's more the environment and things in general that's irritating him.

So there'll also be times when he just is either super impatient, not in a mood for much foreplay or any sort of thing that will prolong getting to the main event of sex, or when he genuinely forgets the appeal. He knows there's times when he and you both enjoy it but if he's in a specific mood he'll just genuinely be like 'but why... Let's just do something else? Let me eat you out or grind on my crotch directly??? Let's actually just fuck.'

But I assure you that he's not always like this. There's other times when he'll suggest it instead! Suddenly having an urge to see you rocking your hips against his thighs wanting nothing more to squeeze your ass in that moment. Or when you're being a but too touchy with him, hinting that you'd like some attention, he'd simply raise a brow, smirking before asking if you want to ride his thigh.

So yes he would be into it... But also no! When he's into it, however, he will definitely put all his energy and focus into it!

Also just an extra lil thing to think about is how he might just like the feeling of you touching him. Just the skin on skin (not literally per say). Just having you on him and feeling you move on him. Getting used for pleasure just turns him on, or rather, he just feels very good knowing he makes another person feel good. On your average thigh riding session heh, he'd have a firm grip on your waist yet it's in a gentle manner, his head thrown back, eyes shut as he let's out soft groans and sighs occasionally letting his heavy-lidded eyes open to stare intently at you, memorizing every little facial expression you make and experimentally bouncing or clenching his thigh to see the reaction it gets out of you, smiling to himself before closing his eyes and getting lost in the feeling, praising you for doing so well.

That's just my take on it and I'm still not sure if I agree with it but for the most part, that's what I'd say hehe!

[erwinsmissing-arm]

This randomly popped into my head so here, also this is modern AU??? Idk, you can choose. It's a textfic/crackfic where Y/N (you) are a Hashira so yh, hope you enjoy! <3

Genre: crack

Warnings: swearing, no real plot

Context: the Hashira’s wake up after a night they don't remember very well but they slowly find more and more photos from the previous night

Last Night~~~~~~

Y/N The Baddie🥵: @everyone lmao

look what I found from last

night

Butterfly👀💜🦋 is online

✨💅Flamboyant��✨ is online

Stronk 🙏Prayer🙏 Man is online

Kaburamaru’s Side Hoe🐍 is online

Wind bITCH💨💨💨 is online

Simp💗💗💗 is online

Cloud Stalker😬☁️👀 is online

uMAI🍱🍙🔥 is online

Butterfly👀💜🦋: I wish I remembered last night😭😔

Kaburamaru’s Side Hoe🐍: Y/N, what's with the names?

Y/N The Baddie🥵: why not

Kaburamaru’s Side Hoe🐍: why tho

Y/N The Baddie🥵: why not

Cloud Stalker😬☁️👀: why am I called ‘Cloud Stalker😬☁️👀’

Y/N The Baddie🥵: bc you pretty

much stare at them all day. I

remember you told me their

names once, their NAMES.

.YOU.NAMED.A.CLOUD. Altho I

would change ur name bc you are

child and precious🥺

Cloud Stalker😬☁️👀:...I hate you

uMAI🍱🍙🔥: I think they're fun

Y/N The Baddie🥵: see, Kyō gets me

Stronk 🙏Prayer🙏 Man: are we just gonna forget the photo Y/N sent us?

Wind bITCH💨💨💨: shit, forgot about that

Y/N The Baddie🥵: gASP- Sanemi

forgetting something?!🤭🧐

Wind bITCH💨💨💨: STFU I will end you

The Water Man Himself🌊 is online

Stronk 🙏Prayer🙏 Man:...

Simp💗💗💗:...

✨💅Flamboyant💅✨:...

uMAI🍱🍙🔥:...

Kaburamaru’s Side Hoe🐍:...

Wind bITCH💨💨💨:...

Y/N The Baddie🥵:...

Cloud Stalker😬☁️👀:...

Butterfly👀💜🦋: good morning Tomioka-San! How are you feeling? Is your head okay?:)

The Water Man Himself🌊:...why are you being so nice?

✨💅Flamboyant💅✨: back read

The Water Man Himself🌊: okay?

The Water Man Himself🌊: @Butterfly👀💜🦋 @Y/N The Baddie🥵 🖕

Y/N The Baddie🥵: WHAT YOU

FLIPPING ME OFF FOR?!

The Water Man Himself🌊: YOU JUST STOOD THERE AND TOOK A PHOTO

Y/N The Baddie🥵: if I was

sober I probs would've

come save you😭 sorry

bestie💔😔

Wind bITCH💨💨💨: that's a big ass fat ass lie

Y/N The Baddie🥵: that's not

true!! You're just mad😌🖕

✨💅Flamboyant💅✨: hoe’s mad

Wind bITCH💨💨💨 is offline

Y/N The Baddie🥵: real mad

Cloud Stalker😬☁️👀: look what I found

Simp💗💗💗: so THAT'S how we got back

Butterfly👀💜🦋: how did you even take a pic of us

Kaburamaru’s Side Hoe🐍: everyone else took a cart while we wanted to do...this

Butterfly👀💜🦋: you remember last night?

Kaburamaru’s Side Hoe🐍: I only remember drinking loads and getting on the bike

The Water Man Himself🌊: why am I on there even tho I probably have like a major concussion

Y/N The Baddie🥵: idk but I found

something else

Stronk 🙏Prayer🙏 Man: is that...a weird drawing...of me?

Y/N The Baddie🥵: I think so, yh

uMAI🍱🍙🔥: I have a vague memory of Giyuu drawing it then all of us slowly coming forth to hail this drawing of Gyomei

The Water Man Himself🌊: I drew that?

uMAI🍱🍙🔥: I think so

Wind bITCH💨💨💨 is online

Y/N The Baddie🥵: welcome back

Wind bITCH💨💨💨: what did I miss?

✨💅Flamboyant💅✨: it's easier just to back read at this point

Simp💗💗💗: I'm going through my camera roll now to see if there's any photos from last night

uMAI🍱🍙🔥: same

Wind bITCH💨💨💨: wtf. Why?

✨💅Flamboyant💅✨: I think I can speak for everyone when I say this, we don't even know at this point

Kaburamaru’s Side Hoe🐍: mans just wanted a selfie

Y/N The Baddie🥵: Giyuu being

a complete mood as always

Stronk 🙏Prayer🙏 Man: where is he? I can't see him

Butterfly👀💜🦋: by Tengen’s hand

Stronk 🙏Prayer🙏 Man: thank you Shinobu!

Butterfly👀💜🦋: np!!😊

Cloud Stalker😬☁️👀: I just wanted a selfie! Why did ya’ll have to ruin it?! Assholes🖕

Butterfly👀💜🦋: someones moody

Cloud Stalker😬☁️👀: of course I'm moody, that was gonna be a good selfie, the EMOTION in that selfie at the start, did you not see how happy I was

The Water Man Himself🌊: you were happy?

Cloud Stalker😬☁️👀: uh, yh, can't you tell?

Wind bITCH💨💨💨: looks like ur normal neutral expression to me :/

Cloud Stalker😬☁️👀: seriously?

Y/N The Baddie🥵: don't worry

Mui, I knew FROM THE START

that you were happy, until

they RUINED IT

Cloud Stalker😬☁️👀: idk if you're just saying that or not

Simp💗💗💗: this is so funny to me

Y/N The Baddie🥵: lmao Giyuu why

are you always in the background

of the photos looking sad and

lost😭🤣

Butterfly👀💜🦋: it's bc nobody wants him in the photos bc he has no friends

The Water Man Himself🌊:...

✨💅Flamboyant💅✨: honestly Gyomei looks fabulous and fits his part well

Simp💗💗💗: he does! But I think you all do! Even Giyuu

Y/N The Baddie🥵: what as a lost

depressed man?😏

The Water Man Himself🌊: 🖕

Simp💗💗💗: no that's not what I meant!!!

Kaburamaru’s Side Hoe🐍: don't worry we all know, Y/N’s just joking, right Y/N🔫😊

Y/N The Baddie🥵: sure

👁👄👁💧

Y/N The Baddie🥵: alright ya’ll

imma go die on the inside now

and sleep, bye

✨💅Flamboyant💅✨: bye

Simp💗💗💗: have a good sleep Y/N-San!

Wind bITCH💨💨💨: I would come over and annoy you but I'm bedridden so I can't😔

Y/N The Baddie🥵: oh no, how sad

CloudStalker😬☁️👀: you dying on the inside brings me joy

Y/N The Baddie🥵: fuck you

Stronk 🙏Prayer🙏 Man: have a good sleep and hope you feel better soon Y/N:)

Y/N The Baddie🥵: thank you

Gyomei🥰🥰🥰

Butterfly👀💜🦋: bye Y/N-San

The Water Man Himself🌊: bye

uMAI🍱🍙🔥: make sure you have water! Hydration is important!

Y/N The Baddie🥵: thanks for the

reminder Kyō!

Kaburamaru’s Side Hoe🐍: bye

Y/N The Baddie🥵 is offline

[randomveyn]

How do you think Shuhei hisagi would deal with going to the world of the living and him meeting a human and he develops a crush on this human (shinigami and human’s aren’t usually together, so the drama!), they get along well and this human thinks he’s really funny and sweet? They have come across his terrible musical playing, haven’t liked it, but they’re still supportive of him getting better too. This crush enjoys seeing his artsy side. (Dude has no chance with Rangiku xD so).

this is…so sweet and sad at the same time 💔 cuz i can totally see shuhei as someone who gets attached easily.

✨ super long rambles under the cut ✨

human!reader just walks up to him one day and calls him handsome, complimenting his tattoos. his punk ass face gets blushy and smitten in seconds lolol but he truly appreciates it. like he thought he comes off as scary and aloof, so he never imagined anyone would find him attractive. bonus point if they tells him his scars makes him look manly, he's insecure abt them 🥺

then he starts to hang around them more because cut this man some slacks. poor baby shuhei was so busy and tired running the squad all by himself.

cook him dinner, invite him over for a movie night, buy him new leather jackets okayy? 🥺 he forgot when was the last time he actually felt safe and secured around someone. (kaname rlly broke his heart so put them back for him pls) and omg his guitar playing lol deep down inside he knows he's kinda bad at it so the fact that reader takes the time to listen to it, he's crying river inside. ╥﹏╥

sadly, it's like what you said, shinigami and humans don't end up together. (idk if it's forbidden or just…physically not possible?) he probably doesn't realize he's crossing the line until his muguruma-taicho come back and whip his ass back to senses. shuhei was too drowned in the comfort that reader provides him that he doesn't realize it's love.

he'd be upset and conflicted once he realized his feelings for them. in one hand, he doesn't want to give up on his rs with them, but he also couldn't just leave his squad and responsibilities as a shinigami. (can we talk abt how hard he worked to get into the academy)

now, rangiku-san comes in handy bc her coping mechanism is drinking and that's how she comforts her friends too. shuhei is gonna get all drunk and teary, browsing through his album of their photos together and wailing for another bottle of sake. 😔 kira probably disapprove this kind of rs, but he couldn't bear to sees his senpai in this state. (these three really know what it means to go through a heartbreak again, don't they?)

eventually, kira would be the one who seek them out and break the truth to reader. he'd tell them about the shinigami, soul society, hollow and everything. he thinks reader deserve to know that much, if shuhei is serious about their rs and future together.

if reader decides that they can accept him for who he is and are willing to work around it, kira would bring them to the soul society to meet him. shuhei would be devastated when they see him in his shihakusho and his katana. (worse, if he released his kazeshini) but no worries, flash him a warm smile, give him reassuring hugs, tell him he's worthy and enough and deserve love ahsjdjdkkdldhdjdkd 😫💗

now everyone would be happily cheering for their reconciliation in the background. (shinji might have to restrains a certain white haired mohawk from chewing anyone's head off tho)

okayyy thats all i have to say. sorry for the rambles but this was a good talk. i rlly have to stop here before i bring up the whole gotei 13 to react to this. (i got overboard and forgot this was supposed to be how shuhei react 💀)

[jeongwife]

the amoung of chanrot having rn is crazy- hOW ABOUT,, YOU KNOW HIS KIND OF RECENT VLIVE TACO MUKBANG WITH VERNON??? WUKEUDHSIDHDIWJEKD WHAT IF LIKE, U KEPT SENDING CHAN DIRTY MESSAGES TO RILE HIM UP BC U SAW THAT HES ON LIVE AND WITH VERNON THEN LIKE HE HAS ENOUGH OF IT AND WHEN HE GETS HOME TO U YKNOW WHAT HE DOES.. THE MEAN PUNISHMENTS AUJSSHSJBDUSUSHXISISHS IM SO SORRY LILY U HAVE TO SUFFER WITH ME

🐹 anon

I AM SUFFERING I AM SUFFERING BAD 💗☹️🤩😾☹️🥺😔🤪💔💔😻😭😭🙄👁☹️😾😁🥲🤨🤨😹🥲☹️😞💗☹️😾😭👁😁😔😞💔💔💔 NOT THE TACO MUKBANG PLS CHAN LOOKED INSANELY GOOD IN THAT VLIVE LIKE I FEEL LIKE I DID NOT DESERVE TO WITNESS THAT CHAN </3

he’d be so mad if you did that…bonus if you also take pictures of yourself laying on your bed in just your underwear and send them to him, along with all the messages about how you’re needy for him and want to feel his cock inside you. you’d tease him by sending him more photos of your hand cupping your breasts or slipping into your panties, at the same time watching his reaction as he reads your messages during the live. people would easily notice how he gets more and more distracted as the live continues, he probably shifts around a lot to adjust his pants from how hard he’s getting, as well as checks his phone a lot and occasionally sends you back warning texts telling you to stop. vernon would probably also catch on and try to figure out what’s wrong, but every time he tries to glance at chan’s phone to see what he’s so distracted by he turns it off immediately.

chan would not go easy on you when he’s home, bursting into your bedroom to find you casually laying on the bed clad in just your bra and panties, propping your body up on your elbows. “what the hell was that?” he demands, frustratedly carding a hand through his hair as you bite your lip, the throbbing in your core intensifying at the sight of his tousled mullet, the smoky makeup around his eyes, and the tight-fitting black shirt that clung to his body. “i can’t help it,” you say innocently while batting your lashes at him, “you just look so good, channie.”

“yeah? was it fun for you, slut? was it fun making me hard in front of tens of thousands of people?” he growls before sitting down on the edge of the bed and patting his thighs, “well? don’t make me wait unless you want to be in even more trouble.” instantly, you scramble to lay yourself over his lap, feeling the erection straining against his jeans poke at your stomach while he lands a harsh slap on your ass, drawing a squeak from you as you wriggle your hips, silently asking him to give you more. your moans get louder and louder as chan continues spanking you, using his hands to rub your stinging skin to soothe it before landing yet another slap on your ass or inner thighs. you’re so wet that your arousal is leaking out of you, forming a wet patch on your flimsy lace panties. “look at you,” he says, “you like this, don’t you? can’t even punish my dirty slut anymore because you like everything i give you.”

you gasp when he tugs your panties to the side and slides two fingers inside you without warning, pumping them in and out of your sopping cunt with a brutal pace. “you hear how wet you are, slut? so wet just from a few spanks,” he mocks, holding your hips still when you try to wriggle away from the harsh strokes of his digits against your walls. he pulls his fingers out of you just as you’re about to cum and quickly shoves them into your mouth, making you clean and taste yourself on his fingers. “so fucking dirty,” chan growls as you swirl your tongue around his fingertips as though they were his cock, “but bad sluts like you don’t deserve to cum.”

he tosses you onto the bed, impatiently removing your clothes before making you get on all fours and smirking at your shaky limbs from the denied orgasm. he takes off his own clothes, and you hear the slick sounds of his cock as he pumps it several times, precum beading at the tip while he guides it to your dripping entrance and fully sheathes his girth into your pussy. you moan loudly as he starts thrusting into you wildly, one of his hands fisting into your hair to yank back your head while the other grips your hip tightly to hold you still. the feeling of his thick cock inside you has your orgasm building up once again, and you’re so sensitive that you cum the moment his tip brushes against your g-spot, body trembling as chan fucks you through your orgasm, his pace just as hard and fast while you begin to sob from overstimulation.

“t-too much,” you whimper despite continuing to push back into his thrusts to feel his cock go deeper into you, but chan merely presses himself into you fully, letting you feel every inch of his cock as he grinds his hips to ensure the tip hits your sweet spot over and over again. “bad sluts don’t get a say in that,” he tells you, pulling out before slamming his cock back into you and smirking at the whine that leaves your lips, “you cum as many times as i want tonight, that’s your punishment. i’m not stopping until you can’t cum anymore.”

— admin lily (FUCK I WANT THIS SO BAD I’M LITERALLY CRYING WEHWHSJWJJSJWKSJW)

[celestiababie]

speaking of seungcheol did u see him shaking his ass at tokyo dome😔 he was asking for it so i had to ram his ass after the concert thats why he wasnt at the post concert dinner photo.. sorry babes🥺🫶🏻 -anon mar🌙

Everything makes so much sense now....

No but seriously— the way he got so shy when he noticed them zooming in. Like...baby what did you think they were gonna zoom in on when you're shaking your ass like that smh.

Also for scientific purposes....imma need a multicam vod for each individual member doing that move. Science purposes only I promise 🤞