#sorry that i havent been very active these past few days

[silverselfshippingchaos]

i put him on the f/o list

[frestoniia]

Happy new year! I’m so grateful for each and every one of you <3 even if I don’t always answer every ask I get, or respond to every message, just know that I appreciate everything I get. Let’s make this year a good one!

[thebibliosphere]

Hi there, ive come from your post about ADHD and emotional disregulation, firstly thank you so much for putting it into words, its such a complicated part of how i deal with emotions and i havent ever been able to articulate how to why.

Secondly, in that post you mentioned how you've used stress as a motivator and how eventually your stress regualtion broke, i was wondering if you'd be willing to talk about that? (If not, its not a problem)

I feel like the same thing has happened to me but until i read your post i had no idea that something had... snapped? I suppose? I struggle with motivation all the time and in the past id have a week or a few days left and id be able to suddently push myself very hard to complete whatever it is before the deadline, just barely making it in most cases. However now it seems that i can't find that motivation anymore, deadlines come and pass and i can't being myself to work on anything, and i just end up spiralling into shame and guilt. That motivation was the only thing that I was able to rely on sometimes for things like uni, and i conviced myself that it was just me growing lazy or trying to get out of responsibility as to why the "last minute panic-mode" doesnt work anymore.

Again, if you don't wanna tackle this can of worms or if it's something youd rather not post online i totally get it, its no biggie! thanks so much for making the original post as well, it means a lot

Hello friend, thanks for the message. I'm sorry you're also dealing with this.

The good news here is that I've already talked about this using the rubber band analogy my therapist gave me. (Stress is like a Rubber Band)

If you don't have the mental bandwidth to read all of it now, the tl;dr is "stress is like a rubber band; it can stretch to hold numerous things in place when you need to, but if you do it too often or keep adding more and more strain under the band, the elastic eventually becomes brittle and snaps, taking your mental and sometimes physical health with it too."

I've been in intensive therapy for this for roughly three years now, and trying to piece my brain back together after my last bout of stress-induced productivity gave me a total mental breakdown.

It's... odd not being able to use stress and having to actively avoid it to avoid a relapse. But it is doable. Medication would help, but alas, I've got weird health issues and am unmedicated at the minute.

(And just in case that sparks anyone to go, "Oh, you do all this unmedicated! Wow, that's so inspiring!" as sometimes parents do to me on here as they then tell me they don't want to medicate their kids, I've unfortunately also written a post about what that kind of success looks like from an unmedicated perspective and the kind of suicidal ideation I deal with on the regular because I cannot take meds. It is not pleasant reading, but it is necessary for some folks, specifically anti-med, "if you just tried harder" people.)

A book you may find helpful is Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. It was very validating for me to read about other people going through the same things, and made me feel less of a "this is a personal failing on my part" and more of a "Oh okay yeah, no stress literally breaks people."

It helped soothe some of my own internalized "I just need to try harder" and helped cement me on the path I was already going down with my ADHD therapist toward changing how I view myself and how I manage my ADHD.

I hope that helps! If you've got more specific questions or I didn't touch on something in my old post, I can try to answer them :)

[mariska]

hi queer friends in my phone i hope u have all been having an ok month so far 💖 im sorry i havent been online very much lately, its like 80% just me being forgetful except to hop on my phone app for like ten mins to browse my dash and reblog something and get distracted by another non phone related activity LOL. my bestie Eli is here still until the rest of the month and we finished our rewatch (their first watch, my like......who even knows the specific numbered rewatch) of Avatar The Last Airbender a couple days ago and that was very fun and exciting, it was wild getting to those last few episodes in the final season and just totally getting brought back to being a kid in my head when the show was actively airing on tv and i was sitting in my bedroom exploding from sheer special interest excitement watching the story wrap up on the super small box tv i used to have like 15+ years ago 😭🫡 we haven't started watching Legend Of Korra yet since we just finished ATLA and need to like. take a lil Avatar media break before jumping into another entire finished series fhdhdhsfsshhgd but excited for whenever we start that too!! Eli showed me a fav movie of theirs the other night called Thoroughbreds and i REALLY liked it, fellow toxic yuri enjoyers i truly cannot recommend that one enough those girls have Problems In Abundance and i love that for them and also me.

OH OH OH ALSO on my birthday after we got home from out of house activities we watched that Nic Cage movie 'Dream Scenario' that i've wanted to see so bad since the first trailer for it dropped online a while back, and i am truly not just being dramatic when i say i think that is my favorite movie i've seen this year and it will be Difficult for another movie to win over that 2024 Fav Spot in my mind, it was exactly what i wanted it to be and MUCH MORE LMAOO IT WAS SO GODDAMN FUNNY. very specifically Me And Eli's Kinda Stupid Sense Of Humor throughout the whole run time we were fuckin losing it at every other scene. that was a wonderful lil birthday treat.

also the antique mall we were gonna go to ended up being closed on the day of my birthday so we went to a big mall off-Cape that i like instead and have been to a few other times for past birthdays cus they actually have a bunch of different types of stores with stuff i actually enjoy unlike the more local mall we have here that is 100% dying a slow agonizing Mall Death lmao. went to Build-A-Bear and they had that one bear style in stock that literally just looks like a femme lesbian with the lesbian flag colors and perfect lil eyeliner so i made a Chappell Roan inspired pop star outfit wearing lesbian colored bear (saw someone else online do that a lil while back with the same style i chose so i couldn't resist doing it myself when i saw it was at the store hfsfgsvsgshshdg) and the ppl working there that day were all super chill and friendly and most likely around me and Eli's age or maybe a few yrs younger than us, the person who helped me make my bear specifically was really friendly and fun to talk with cus while we were in there it was pretty much just us and the employees for the majority of the time, he like immediately picked up on me being A Very Obvious Femme Lesbian on account of The Femme Lesbian Bear and also The Very Over The Top Femme Alt Outfit I Was Wearing and we chatted abt being gay and trans while he was stuffing the bear it was such a genuinely sweet and wonderful interaction, he was also autistic and we got to briefly bond over Build-A-Bear being mutual life long autistic special interests of ours and he seemed rly happy to hear that i was turning 27 that day and was still actively wanting to spend birthdays making custom stuffed animals there it was just really great all around 😭💕 also before the mall closed later on we did a quick stop at the FYE store that was there (i always get very excited when i see a still active FYE store anywhere cus it was a childhood fav place of mine to shop but our local mall closed ours when i was a teenager lol) and there was a small stand set up with some ATLA merch and i got a fully functional Momo backpack/crossbody style bag that i am so incredibly psyched about having fjdgedfdhsshfg it is very cute. and anyone who knows me knows i love adding a silly lil functional novelty bag to my collection of silly lil novelty bags. so it will be getting much use from me out in the world

anyways!!! thats pretty much what i've been up to, just figured i would hop on and write a mariska life update so everyone here knows i didnt just like. drop off the face of the earth lol

[daydreamertrait]

im sorry i havent been very active the past few days, ive been having some health issues and i feel like shit so i havent been on tumblr 

[tbzrai]

Well, so far Ordeal Call is just a new system of difficult 40ap dailies with a slowly accumulating resource called stellar sand.

You need at least 46,000 stellar sand to fully unlock upgrades to every non-extra servant class as a whole. Be warned, that new class upgrade system is a resource sink that uses monuments, so start stockpiling them if you're on NA. It'll be a marathon to unlock everything.

No, you're not required to do this to continue in the story. It's like fou paws. Extraneous.

Oh, and you have a new type of stamina required for the new dailies that caps at 9. You need one for every new 40ap quest. You get 3 each day. No, you can't stockpile them past 9.

Yeah, I'm sorry. This is still a bit confusing for me too. I did unlock a number of assassin class upgrades only for a mission requirement to pop up concerning any assassin class servant.

It either requires I level, ascend, or bond with more assassin servants to unlock that node. Those missions are found in the extra missions tab.

So, in short: level and bond with servants of all classes to strengthen them further. It will not be easy nor fast.

Again, sorry if I've only confused you further.

no its alright!! this is a very clear and concise explanation thank you very much

Ive mostly just been tapping around and doing some of the quests that require storm pods and I havent been messing around with the skill tree much aside from unlocking a few bc Yikes it sure is material heavy and im not willing to go through that esp since I skipped the entirety of the recent lotto event. Im sure active players out there are gonna benefit from this but goddamn is it Complicated

[captainaikus]

I AM BACK!!!!!!! And idk if you saw the post I tagged you in explaining and apologizing tumblrs being wonky again because I didn’t see that bachisagi post you tagged me in on your main until I was scrolling through and catching up just now. I have been swamped with juggling school staring again, family, and that friend stuff I told you abt. And the only free time I’ve had is watching TR. I HAVENT EVEN WATCHED THE LATEST BLLK EPISODE YET AND I WANNA SOB BECAUSE ITS THE POST-BACHISAGI BREAKUP EP 😭😭😭. I’ve just had no energy at the end of the day and every time I think I finally have time to respond back to you something always comes up and I wanna tear my hair out. I PROMISE I HAVENT BEEN IGNORING YOU LOVE. But I understand if you’re upset at me and I’m sorry Belle.

I was furious like my blood was boiling when I saw your fic got flagged down. Like what is wrong with people??? Can you not just let other people be and keep your negativity to yourself??? Just because you’re falling doesn’t mean you have to drag others with you asshole. Seriously. You did not deserve that and being so angry and upset over it (with it happening AGAIN and it not even being the FIRST time unwarranted) is completely understandable, I’d be pissed too. I still am actually. It’s so frustrating working so hard on something and then getting pointless hate for it like get a life and stay away from me. 😤😤😒

On another note, I have been getting SO MUCH Tokyo Revengers content the past few days and that has been my only relief from this hectic week. Im being fed so well girl. New episodes every Saturday with my favorite arc being animated, the new character book, new official arts, AND SO MUCH MORE AFJHFFHJGHINH. Also I’m so sorry I missed your event 😭😭😭. You even extended it and I had so many asks saved too 🥲🥲. But I didn’t wanna just demand stuff without explaining where I’d been because I’m not an ass like that but every time I started drafting something for you (not for the event) I’d get interrupted 😒😒. *sighs heavily*

IVE BEEN READING YOUR EVENT ASKS CAUSE I JUST GOT OUT OF CLASS AND ASDFJJGFFHHGFKJ THEYRE ALL SO GOOD BELLE 😭😭. I love them all so freaking much (esp the Bachira ones 👀😌✨) and I’m sad I couldn’t participate but hopefully next time. BUT DONT WORRY IM ALREADY DRAFTING AN ASK FOR THE MATCHUP EVENT THERES NO WAY IM MISSING THAT 😤😤.

CONGRATULATIONS ON 1.9K BELLE IM SO FREAKING PROUD OF YOU LOVE!!!!! 🥹😭❤️ Your numbers keep climbing so fast and it’ll only be a matter of time before you hit 2k 😌😌. Also I’m so glad you’re getting support from new people too and how they’re all loving your works it’s so heartwarming to see and read and really a testament to how far you r come. Be proud of yourself because no matter how much hate you get you’re still continuing to do amazing love ❤️❤️❤️.

I really am sorry for going MIA for a bit there and I understand if you’re upset with me. How’ve you been irl btw?? Uni going well I hope? How’s gym? Has your break ended yet? Go on and vent if you need to love!! Update me on your life because I truly do want to know how’re you’re doing yknow?? Remember to take breaks and take care of yourself love!!! Eat something and drink a glass of water if you haven’t today!!! *sending all the virtual hugs because I missed you and I’m sorry*

p.s. no asks on the way soon 👀🫡

- ✨ anon

Starry!! Ofc I’m not upset with you! You’re usually very active on my blog, so I figured something must’ve come up cause you were away. I wanted to drop in your askbox; but I could find it so I decided to tag you in my posts instead to see if you’re doing alright and you’re doing well so I’m relieved <3

Tumblr has been acting wonky :/ - literally. I had to write to staff about my posts not showing up in the tags and all they did was delete it?

I figured since it was taking so long, I might as well just shift to ao3 and my work has been good so far - working on a yandere rin wip and I’m about 2k words in but since Uni and work keeps getting in the way, i can’t finish it as fast. But. Ik for the fact that this’ll be worth the wait cause. You’ll see 😏

As for my works getting flagged down, it is an inconvenience, but with every work that does get flagged down - people on the other side of the screen are just proving the fact that they can’t keep up with my writing or the fact that my content is well received and I get mostly healthy interactions. I was pretty angry with it, but then I just decided to take it to ao3 instead and I had been thinking about this for months. I take that this was a sign that I should do it and not leave it as a plan cause tumblr has turned toxic over a period of time, among authors and readers alike. So why not minimize the trouble for everyone go somewhere better? Ao3 had really good content;

More plot leaning and good story lines with occasional smut, and both sides are really chilled out. Plus another thing that disappoints me about tumblr is that smut sells really fast here and even Twitter links get more likes than actual writing. And after thinking over it for a while - I realized that my writings are more to do with things human along with lust than just purely writing about lust yk? So in short, my work isn’t meant for tumblr. And I’m not a very interactive author either - I don’t reblog much works and neither do I have any author I can personally recommend cause I stopped reading fanfics here about 2 years ago and I don’t even check the tags anymore since then, only to see if my work showed up or not. but anyway- i made my moveout official still gonna answer asks and host events here tho - and talk to anyone about stuff in general

now talking about tokyo rev, super happy about the new season coming out and honestly? this is the fastest i've seen them make it cause JJBA fans- ykw i'm talking about. Had to wait so long just for stone ocean part 2 to come out And i'm really looking forward to watching vinland saga (cause that's out and istg - canute is such a pretty boy, this is that one anime that made me cry cause Askeladd. nvm I don't wanna give spoilers) AND YES! you did make it to the matchup event !! (i got your ask) as for the character ask i had fun with it as well - Some of the highlight questions I liked; one of them was a question for Rin, asking if (y/n) was single? and istg the way i laughed cause the way he would have a look on his face after that, Bachira is a ray of sunshine to have - such a cutie (>///<) [take your time on working starry! There’s not rush! Ik how annoying it is to get interrupted when you’re writing something] And tysm for your kind words !! Seriously though I should be thanking you guys for giving me your support esp you starry - cause you were one of the first anons along with blue to actually make a convo on my blog and it kinda made other people wanna talk as well (҂ ꒦ິヮ꒦ິ) And no! I'm not upset with you! I knew something was maybe up cause you're never usually gone this long - And you can come to my blog anytime you want - to rant, ask for advice or just talk anything 'kay? ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა As for uni, its on full throttle - *sigh* so much work to do but I'm working on it a little everyday and getting things done as soon as possible. but the cold is making me so drowsy to function. I cut my hair shorter too, its an undercut with a pixie so now i look like a fem ver of corpse - And i re-watched some of my old animes - like i had the urge to watch devilman crybaby this week and i did. the only reason i watched that anime was cause of the clip i saw of Akira's... on the ceiling... (ikyk), rewatched death note - cause i wanted to see L and honestly L is THE emo king. (yeah i had a whole emo phase before turning into a dark academia/ classic aesthetic gal -) and alot of people are getting into tokyo ghoul - *finished the whole manga collection at the age of 14* As for gym... story time. I was busy lifting weights and this man. he is muscular sure, got bulging biceps and a lean body and yet. he had the audacity to chase me out of my corner in the gym and take it instead to lift his weights. He looked at me dead in the eye and gave me the meanest look possible. I couldn't take him seriously cause... he was shorter than me... *not size shaming i swear but when you look at me like that - i can't take you seriously* Me : I do not care if you're more macho than me, I will throw you across the gym, you tiny tiny man. And I just finished another whole bottle of water - hope you’re doing well starry! *sending hugs back*

[davestodarkness]

I am very sorry for doing this but I need your help! I've been trying to move out for two years. This year they told me that they will support me, now only two weeks left and they,re threatening me to live with them forever. I'm autistic, I have ocd, depression and anxiety. my family don't understand anything about mental ilnesses, they are homophobic, and they make homophobic comments literally every week. My college starts in a month and they said they'd rather I stay with them and not go to college than move out of the house. I will find a job, but right now I need your help. I am so desperate, even affording my meds is very hard for me. Please, please please help me! GOAL.. $ 1551

Reblog my pinned please donate and share

Sorry, i havent been active in the past few days

[ipegchangbin]

hi z <3

bully anon here <33

thank u for always indulging me , I really appreciate you answering my asks and that also goes for all your followers who interact with it as well , I am just not confident in myself doing anything. I get embarrassed opening up a google doc because I think "you really think you write" and I lose courage immediately so for me its a huge step to even submit anything and the fact that u enjoy it and answer enthusiastically means a lot to me

recently I have been thinking about actually writing some stuff and if I do I will let you know first

also idk if u ever watched parks and recreation but I imagine channie and reader being like Andy and April

with love,

your bully anon

hello bully anon !!!

its been a while since ive answered you and i really missed seeing you around ^^ seriously. i hope lifes treating you good these days!

of course ill always indulge in your thoughts! tbf i havent been very active with responding and im sorry it really takes me a while before i engage and reply, but rest assured i will always love listening to your ideas. youre just so creative with your concepts! it truly feels like you have a lot of good things on your mind.

and please, if theres anything that ive learned over these past few months of writing, just…write. jot it down. even if you think it isnt good yet, then you will be good in due time. ill be honest, im not primarily a writer so it gets very difficult for me at times.

trust me when i say this though, with all of your ideas and your brainstorming process in mind, it all pays off. seriously so many people have indulged in your beloved loser!chan and bully!reader that i think it needs a fic of its own (and id indulge more in it, but im respectfully leaving the floor to you!)

again, thank YOU for always sharing your ideas!! we love to see more of it in the future :>

p.s. unfortunately i dont watch a lot of parks and rec (i dont usually watch series but ive seen episodes of this show) but honestly i see it!! channie is definitely the loser-ish dork whos entirely lovable, and his unique dynamic with a colder partner like april is honestly a joy to watch ^_^ you nailed it with this comparison tbh!!

[mydarling-suggestions]

you are worthy of my time! you are worthy of my energy and effort! and you are worthy of my love!

[kamata-kun-ask-blog]

Have you met the king of the monsters?

"Yes! When I first saw him, he is like-

Humongous!! (And he is also what you humans call him "Thicc") and a nice Kaiju...of course!"

[bunnywritesmarvel]

im so sorry i havent been very active the past few days or been answering asks!!! im kinda really exhausted from the family emergency so im just gonna chill for a little bit until im not as tired 😂😂

i promise im not purposely ignoring you guys 🥺

[dissasembled]

It's been so long since I last posted.

I was eating way too much fast food and not counting calories so instead of losing weight from the crazy number of calories I burn every day at work, I ended up gaining like 3 lbs. I've managed to lose it over the past couple of weeks thankfully but it never feels as good hitting a goal weight a second time.

The body dysmorphia isn't as bad as it was, and I am more confident now than I was before, but every time I see myself I can't help but think I would look better if I just lost a few more pounds, despite the fact that my bmi is already on the lower end of the "healthy" range.

I dont know what to consider my level of restriction right now. It feels like very high restriction, generally between 1,200 and 1,800 calories a day (depending on my activity level), but I'm staying in the negative net calories at least 4 days a week.

I dont know what my goal is. I don't know if I'm going to keep flip flopping with weight loss, I don't know how long this restriction phase is going to last before I semi recover again. It feels like I'm always bouncing between the two, never quite recovering. Never quite comfortable in my body.

I dont know if my activity on this blog will increase again, but whenever I do open this blog I'm always happy to see it's still here, and know it's a place I can come and vent. I'm sorry that I havent kept up with my moots, or kept track of remade blogs, or posted in a while.

[lcandothisallday]

Are you not getting my anons? 😭🍉

OMG NO I AM BUT I JUST HAVENT BEEN RESPONDING TO MANY😭😭 I hop on the app for a second and see my notifications then forget to respond cos I’ve been out of it for the past few days😔😔 I’m very sorry. I promise it isn’t my intention and I love youuuu and appreciate you so much you have no idea🥺 you’re one of my fav emoji anons❤️sometimes I also see the ask way after the fact and feel like it’s too late to respond😔 other times they get lost in my notifs too and I haven’t really opened my inbox lately so I don’t see them😭

Hoping to be more active in the upcoming days so I’ll be answering them more consistently I promise🥺❤️ ily

[fireinyourkiss]

hii sorry i havent been super active in the past few days! i've been having some very Not Fun days and i'm just trying to get through them ✌️✨️

[mkstrigidae]

i've been re-reading apwh because i havent had any wifi in the past few days and its the only book i have downloaded (except for some short stories by atwood that i have to read for uni which we're stubbornly ignoring because ugh) and i'm definitely taking note of details about sansas upbringing that i didnt really pay attention to before.

its always interesting to re-read something after a long time because you gain new knowledge and perspectives over time. this detail isnt really that "important" but for some reason i had had in mind that sansa is a good, rule-following daughter and with petyr being so overprotective, she grew up sheltered and naive, but reading it again i noticed that she did find ways to lie to him and experience things he might not have allowed, like nights out with her friends. so shes definitely not as sheltered as i had in mind.

sorry to be rambling in your inbox 🙈

I feel u on the Atwood procrastination, and a million apologies for answering this so late!!

Also, NEVER APOLOGIZE for coming into my askbox to talk about this kind of stuff- I LOVE getting to hear people's takes on APWH and their interpretations of the story and characters (and the occasional headcanon!) and answering questions!

Sansa's a really interesting and challenging character in this story, especially when I'm translating some of the fundamental behaviors of her character in the books to this story. In ASOIAF, Sansa has a decided habit of romanticizing the hard things in her life to cope with them (i.e. a marriage she has no choice in, essentially being property, etc.), and when she doesn't romanticize her trauma, she seems to re contextualize it in her mind, if not completely re-write the interpretation of events, pushing down the feelings that may make her uncomfortable (of course, her character has definitely grown throughout the story as well, so, grain of salt). She's so internal, and really shoves everything she feels deep down and represses things- telling herself that she should feel one way or the other. I think she's someone who takes a lot of comfort in having a set of rules to fall back on (courtesies) while navigating the world, but also rebels against expectations very frequently in her mind- she sees the way that people expect her to behave, and behaves that way if she has to, but resolves to do things differently when she isn't actively in danger.

I think APWH Sansa in a lot of ways really chafed under the restrictions that Petyr imposed on her, one of which was definitely Robin (I think the hold Petyr had on Sansa would be very different without Robin in the picture- the way that it's difficult for abuse victims to leave an abusive relationship when they aren't able to also get their kids out of the situation), but also just his constant restriction of where she could go and what she could do. Sansa is good enough at knowing how to read and placate people- and she knows Petyr very well- and she's good enough at appearing to follow the rules that she's able to kind of go around his back on a lot of things (she has secret social media accounts without her name attached, she's saving money that he doesn't know about because she wants to move in with Mya, she's extremely good at lying to him, etc.). In a way, though, she is kind of sheltered- She's never really been able to travel before, she has to spend a lot of her time at home, she doesn't have many friends (partially because Petyr disliked most of them and discourages her from spending time with a lot of people- there's a good reason he let her stay close to Mya, and I'll write a short APWH drabble based on a prompt of your choice to anyone who can correctly guess it 😂), and she knows nothing about her own kidnapping until Oberyn shows up. And yet, she lied to Baelish to cooperate with foreign law enforcement in a sting operation trying to catch him, and has a tendency to surprise people when they underestimate or overlook her.

She's a study in contradictions, and I love her very much, is what this rambling answer is saying 😂

Thanks so much for the ask!! 😊💕