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hookedonapirate · 5 years ago

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A Helping Hand

Summary: My girlfriend just dumped me and I’ve gotten piss drunk and somehow managed to get into your apartment instead of my own. I’m trying to masturbate my feelings away and boy were you surprised. Based on a Tumblr prompt that spiraled out of control.

A/N: Here it is, the last chapter before the epilogue! I'm so sad to finish this story and still completely baffled by the reception this story has had, but I am so grateful. Thank you all so much!

A huge thank you goes to @ilovemesomekillianjones for not only beta reading so quickly, but for putting up with all my typos. She is truly the best! Thank you for @onceuponaprincessworld because without her I probably would not have finished this fic. I also want to thank the Anon who had sent me this prompt in the first place; without her, this fic would not exist. And thank you for the lovely pm you sent me a while back to let me know who you are so I could thank you properly! This was supposed to be a one-shot and turned into so much more than either of us had ever imagined. I would also like to thank @daeneryskairipa for the gorgeous gif set she made for this story as my 2017 CS Secret Santa. If you haven’t seen it, check out the link below!

AHH Graphic

Rated: Mature for sex and salty language.

Also available: AO3 I FF.N

Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8 Ch 9 Ch 10 Ch 11 Ch 12 Ch 13 Ch 14 Ch 15 Ch 16 Ch 17 Ch 18 Ch 19

Chapter 20: Happy Beginnings

After breakfast, the group split up for the day. Emma and Mary Margaret had planned for the ladies to spend the day along the Royal Mile, the heart of Edinburgh, for Elsa’s bachelor party. The bridesmaids gave her a sash that said Mrs. Captain Jones on the front, and she giggled when she saw it, and put it on before they left. They began at an extinct volcano and continued down a slope that was formed by the retreat of an ice age millions of years ago and was now the main street of the adjoining burghs of Edinburgh and Canongate. They visited a few of the significant landmarks, including the Edinburgh Castle, a world-famous attraction, and the Scottish Parliament for a tour of the building and its art collection, and to see parliament in debate. They had lunch in one of the restaurants down the Royal Mile and visited a few museums and shops, all while enjoying beautiful views across the city to the Firth of Forth, the estuary of several Scottish rivers.

Meanwhile, the men, including Leo, spent the afternoon competing in mini highland games. The group reconvened at the Lighthouse Hotel for the rehearsal dinner and afterward, Liam and Elsa said their goodbyes for the night with parting kisses, both of them giddy with excitement for the big day tomorrow. The ladies threw Elsa a small party in the hotel suite where the bridesmaids were wearing matching royal blue robes with their title for the wedding in pink letters on the back, and they drank wine and showered the bride with gifts and played some silly games.

The wedding day finally dawned, bringing a pandemonium of excitement through the hotel, and also a few minor hiccups along the way. But it was nothing a cool-headed bride, an over-exuberant wedding planner and eager to please groom could not handle, even if he were a bit of groomzilla. The soon to be married couple complemented each other, and usually, Elsa was the one talking Liam down or putting him in his place. He was the worry wart and she was the levelheaded of the two, the one who always had a way of calming him down to a normal, human level. However, even Elsa had a breaking point.

Emma ran frantically through the hall in her high heels and royal blue maid of honor dress, holding up the fabric so it didn't drag along the floor as she headed for the groom's suite, bursting through the door with one hand covering her eyes. She scrambled into the room shouting, “Where’s Mary Margaret?” while trying to catch her breath.

Liam and his groomsmen were startled, grumbling in complaint from the female intrusion. “Bloody hell, Emma, don’t you know how to knock?” Liam asked curtly.

Emma scoffed. “You're one to talk. You wouldn’t know how to knock if there was a sign on the door that had instructions on how to knock.” When she thought it was safe to do so, she peeked through a narrow slit between her fingers to see that everyone was decent - Liam was buttoning up his shirt and David tying the bow of Leo’s tux—and removed her hand.

“Aunt Em Em!” Leo shouted and ran over to Emma jumping into her arms as she scooped him up. “Hey, kiddo.” She gave her nephew a small smile and a peck on the cheek, but she knew she still looked anxious; she was afraid her friend would have a nervous breakdown before the wedding.

Killian was buttoning up his vest as he approached her, and of course, he looked adorable and handsome as always, with his black tux and blue vest that matched his mesmerizing eyes, his hair a bit untidy from running his hand through it over and over. And of course he was not opposed to her presence in the dressing room, but his smile fell when he saw the frantic look on her face. “What’s wrong, love?”

“There’s a wedding dress emergency,” Emma replied, setting Leo down. He was growing like a weed and getting heavy; soon he’d be too big for Emma to carry. “The zipper broke, so Elsa can’t zip up her dress at all, and she’s freaking out, afraid she’s going to have to walk down the aisle with her butt hanging out.” As she looked around the room, she could see the little smirk on Liam’s face; he was not opposed to the idea. “We need Mary Margaret, she will know what to do.”

“I’m not sure where she is, did you check our room?” David asked her.

"Yes, but she's not there." Emma let out an exasperated sigh. “Great, the wedding dress is defective, the bride’s a wreck and the wedding planner’s missing, what else could possibly go wrong? Not even her own sister can calm her down.” Emma placed her fingertips to her temple, rubbing them slowly to ease the headache blooming over her.

“Hey,” Killian murmured in a soothing tone as he came behind her and kissed the tip of her ear, massaging her shoulder with his one good hand, switching from one side to the other. Emma melted into his touch, able to calm down a bit. “Relax, we’ll find Mary Margaret, I’m sure she has a sewing kit.”

Emma shot David a questioning glance.

“Knowing my wife, she’s fully prepared for situations like this.” He extended his hand to his son. “Come on, Leo, let’s find your mother.” Leo took his hand and they headed for the door.

“Thank you,” Emma said appreciatively.

“Don’t worry, we’ll find her.” He flashed her a reassuring smile, somehow easing her nerves a bit, and left the room.

Emma's back slumped into Killian's chest as he wrapped his arms around her, reveling in the warmth he offered. Killian always knew how to calm her down, and right now the whole atmosphere of the wedding needed calmness.

“Come on, Killian, you can help me calm the bride down.” She took his hand and headed for the door.

“Oi, what about me?” Liam asked with a frown. “I am the groom.”

“It’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding,” Emma told him and pulled Killian out of the room.

“But, love, if her own sister can’t calm her then what makes you think I can?” Killian asked in confusion.

Emma paused and turned around, cupping one of his cheeks in the hand which was not entwined with his. “Because, baby, you may only have one hand, but it works wonders.”

Killian didn’t bother to argue any further as he flashed a smug grin and allowed Emma to lead him to the bridal suite.

When they rushed through the door, Elsa was still in panic mode as she sat in her chair while Anna’s arm was around her sister’s shoulder as she planted a kiss to her temple, trying to calm her as Ruby applied Elsa’s makeup. Although, neither Ruby's nor Anna’s attempts were working very well. Elsa could not sit still and was squirming in her seat as Ruby sighed in frustration trying to hold her chin where she needed it in order to not fuck up her makeup.

Elsa moved her head away, her makeup only partly done as she looked at Killian and Emma. “Did you find Mary Margaret?”

“No, David went to look for her, but in the meantime, I brought the Best Man to help you relax.”

Elsa arched a brow, not in the mood to smile. “As much as I like you, Killian, I don't like you that much.”

Killian chuckled. “She didn’t mean it like that.” He went around and started massaging her shoulders.

Elsa’s tense body seemed to melt at Killian’s touch. His hand was magic like that. “Oooh, that is very relaxing,” she murmured and closed her eyes. Elsa was able to relax enough to allow Ruby to continue with applying her makeup. She added some final touches before handing the bride a hand mirror so she could study her reflection.

Elsa frowned, panic washing over her features. She had blood red lips and her face looked even paler than her normal complexion. “What did you do?"

Ruby frowned in confusion. "What do you mean? I made you look like a Queen, just like you wanted."

Elsa's eyes widened at her. "I said Ice Queen, not the White Queen!"

Ruby’s face flashed with apology. “Oh, sorry, I just thought the dark lips was what you wanted.”

“No, I wanted cool tones for my eyes and lips, like pale pinks and blues, not warm colors!” Elsa closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

“Alright, alright, I’ll redo it, it will be fine.” Ruby cleaned off Elsa’s makeup and retrieved some lighter colors from her cosmetic case.

Elsa kept looking into the mirror to make sure Ruby was doing her makeup to her satisfaction, critiquing every step and blurting out comments like, “Too much blush," “Not enough eyeshadow," and "Why are you using that color? It's too dark."

Ruby sighed and rolled her eyes. "Keep telling me how to do my job and I’ll make you look like a drag queen,” she warned with a sweet smile.

“Did someone ask for a sewing kit?” Mary Margaret's voice pulled their attention as the cheerful Nolan woman entered the room with a bright smile.

Elsa’s eyes widened when she saw the kit in her hands. “You have one?”

“Well of course. What kind of Wedding Planner would I be if I didn’t have a sewing kit handy?”

Elsa sighed in relief. “Thank you, you're a lifesaver.”

Killian stepped away, letting Mary Margaret stand behind the bride as she stood up, allowing Mary Margaret to assess the damage as she pursed her lips together. She tinkered with the zipper a little before concluding, “Well the bad news is there’s nothing I can do about the zipper…”

“And the good news?” Elsa asked impatiently in a panicked tone.

“The good news is I can sew the dress together but it won’t be very easy to get out of. You’ll have to cut the thread to get the dress off.”

Elsa sighed. “Fine, do what you need to do to so my ass isn’t hanging out of my dress when I walk down the aisle,” Elsa bit out in frustration.

Emma took her friend's hand to soothe her. “Don’t worry, MM knows what she’s doing, just relax," she said in a calming tone as her hand soothed Elsa’s.

Ruby snickered and everyone glanced at her, wondering what was so funny. "I’m sure getting out of the dress will be no problem for Elsa, Liam could just rip the dress off himself. He has strong hands."

That remark earned a scowl from Elsa. "Talk about my groom's hands again and you won't have any,” she shot back.

Ruby frowned. “At least spare one of my hands, I can still work with that.” She shot Killian a mischievous smirk. “Lord knows Killian has learned to work with what he’s got.”

“Alright, enough of the offhanded comments,” Mary Margaret interjected, and the other women snickered.

Killian groaned. “That's enough hand jokes, aye?” Then his frown turned into a smirk as he pulled Emma into his arms and kissed her cheek. “Besides, I don’t have to try very hard, do I, sweetheart?”

Emma shook her head and blushed as a small laugh tumbled from her lips. “No, you don’t.”

Ruby returned to her task of working on a grumpy Elsa’s makeup. “Just relax, Elsa, I don’t feel like losing my hands today. Besides, if I had no hands then who would do your makeup? Believe me, with your attitude, you're going to have a hard time finding anyone else.”

Elsa closed her eyes in regret. ”I’m sorry, I’m just very tense, and normally Liam knows how to calm me down.”

“Why don’t I get him for you, lass?” Killian offered.

Elsa's eyes flipped open in surprise. “Yes, please,” she sighed in relief. “Thank you.”

“No!” the other women all shouted at once.

“It’s bad luck-”

“Then cover his eyes with a blindfold, I don’t care, just bring him to me!” Elsa shouted, and no one bothered to argue with her. Very seldom, Elsa raised her voice. So when she did, everyone knew not to mess with her.

“I’ll get him,” Emma offered and left the room in a flash to fetch the groom. She dashed into the men’s dressing room as Liam flashed her a questioning look. “Were you able to find Mary Margaret?”

“Yeah, she’s going to sew Elsa into the dress.”

Liam sighed in relief, and without any preamble, Emma undid his tie and started wrapping it around his head. He stepped back, putting his hands up in a defensive pose. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing lass?”

“Elsa asked for you,” Emma replied without any further explanation.

Still, he allowed her to tie the fabric around his eyes. “I always knew you were kinky.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “You have no idea,” she mumbled.

“What?” he asked, dragging the blindfold from his eyes.

She laughed. “The blindfold is supposed to affect your vision, not your hearing. It’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding.”

“Well, can I at least see on the way to the bridal suite?”

Emma sighed and grabbed his hand, pulling him out of the room. “Fine, but before we reach the door, it goes back on.”

“Such a demanding thing, aren’t you?”

Emma scoffed at that. “Again, the pot calling the kettle black,” she teased and rushed him to the Bridal Suite.

Emma opened the door and peeked her head through. “The groom’s here, can you turn Elsa around, please?” She pulled the blindfold over Liam’s eyes and pulled him into the room when Elsa was facing away from them. Ruby pulled the train of Elsa’s dress to the side so Mary Margaret could have room to work on the back opening of the gown without worrying about stepping on the gorgeous skirts of Elsa’s dress.

“Liam?” Elsa called to her groom.

“I’m here, darling,” he said in a soothing tone as Emma led him to her.

“Can someone hold the dress together?” Mary Margaret asked.

“I’ll do it,” Liam replied quickly and Emma guided his hands to the material, and he held the opening of her dress closed while Mary Margaret sewed. With his finger and thumb securing the fabric together, he raised his other hand to Elsa’s lace covered shoulder and offered soft endearments to her. Elsa instantly relaxed and placed her hand on top of his.

“Everything’s going to be alright, love,” he assured her, taking her hand in his. We are going to be married by the end of the day, and none of this is going to matter.”

The women swooned as he continued to ease Elsa’s worries with his soft, encouraging words, and in no time Mary Margaret was finished with the dress.

“There, all done.”

Elsa visibly sighed in relief, as though a huge weight was lifted from her shoulders. “Thank you.”

Mary Margaret moved out of the way with her supplies, and Liam wrapped his arms around his bride, planting a kiss to her shoulder blade.

“I love you, Elsa.”

“I love you, too.”

It was a beautiful sight to behold as he held his bride in his arms, melting all of her fears and worries away.

“Oh hell, let them see each other before the wedding,” Mary Margaret said. “We’ll give you two some privacy.” Emma agreed, and the bride and groom did not appear to be opposed, so Emma removed the blindfold.

His eyes widened, a big smile taking over his lips as Elsa turned around, also flashing him a grin. She took his breath away as his eyes scanned her beautiful form. The dress was not the traditional white and instead was a pale blue, but she looked no less gorgeous in it.

The others left to give them some privacy, and Mary Margaret went off to check on the current status of things, making sure everything was in order for the wedding.

Killian pulled Emma in his arms once they were left alone. “Finally, we have a quiet moment,” he said with a smirk. Emma blushed and smiled as he kissed her lips, reveling in her taste. “Have I told you how exquisite you look in that dress?”

She ran her hands down the lapels of his tuxedo jacket with devilry in her eyes. “No, but maybe you could show me later?” she offered with a lascivious grin.

Killian arched a brow, intrigued by her proposal. “I can’t wait, love.” He pulled her to him and buried his face in the crook of her shoulder, peppering soft kisses to her neck. Emma laughed, his trimmed beard tickling her skin.

Ten minutes later, the women were back in the room when the minister knocked on the door to announce the ceremony was about to begin. The bridesmaids and maid of honor gathered around the bride, hugging her and wiping the tears from their eyes.

Soon, Anna and Elsa’s Aunt Ingrid entered the room. She gathered her nieces into a hug before cupping the bride’s cheeks in her hands, a look of pride in her eyes. “So beautiful, just like your mother,” she commented, her eyes welling up with tears. “Are you ready to be walked down the aisle?”

Elsa had a smile on her face and nodded without hesitation, finally ready to walk down the aisle; there was nothing that could bring her down now. And since Elsa’s parents passed away long ago, Ingrid had always been more like a parent than an aunt, so they only saw it fitting for Ingrid to walk Elsa down the aisle.

~*~

“Are you ready, brother?” Killian asked an anxious Liam, patting him on the shoulder.

Liam inhaled deeply, his shoulders rising as he adjusted his tie. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” He turned and looked at his brother. “How do I look?”

Killian rested his hands on Liam’s shoulders. “Relax, you look fine, Liam.”

Liam frowned. “Just fine?”

“You look like you’re ready to get on with this shindig,” Killian clarified with a laugh. “And also handsome,” he smirked and added, “but not as devilishly handsome as me.”

Liam rolled his eyes. “How did I know you were going to say that?” He took another deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. “I can’t wait for this day to be over with. Does that make me a bad groom?”

Killian shook his head, another chuckle leaving his lips. “No, it just means you can’t wait for your’s and Elsa’s lives to begin.”

Liam grinned from ear to ear at the idea, his blue eyes lighting up. “Exactly.” He drew Killian into a bear hug. “Thank you, brother, for being here with me every step of the way… even if I have been a royal pain in the arse.”

Another laugh tore through Killian’s throat as the two men patted each other on the back. “I’d take my royal pain in the arse brother over no brother at all,” he murmured sincerely. “I love you, Liam”

“I love you too, brother.”

They broke apart, and soon it was time for them to enter the ceremony from the side and join the minister at the altar as Liam waited for his bride in heightened anticipation.

The ceremony was an enchanting affair for an enchanting couple, beginning with the bridal party walking down the aisle in pairs. The chairs were square, each one adorned with a silver cover and royal blue ribbon which wrapped around and tied in the back with silver and light blue roses. There was an archway made of silver leaves and a mixture of light blue and royal blue flowers. Bouquets of royal blue and light blue accented with crystals, stephanotis and blue Picasso Calla Lilies were set out on the ends of each aisle in long, tall vases made from real crystal, and there was a pianist in the corner playing live music.

Emma entered the room, carrying her bouquet as she walked down the aisle alone, following behind Anna and Kristoff with a brilliant smile that showed off those pearly white teeth as she made eye contact with Killian.

Gods, she looked gorgeous, he thought to himself, and even more so when he winked at her, making her cheeks flush with an adorable shade of pink.

She never tore her eyes away from him though, only smirked when she reached the other side of the altar. Leo wandered down the aisle with a ring bearer pillow holding the rings and then the flower girl, who was a second cousin of Elsa and Anna’s threw one blue petal at a time, and everyone laughed as she dumped the rest of the petals at the end of the aisle. The bridal party stood in their positions, the bridesmaids holding their bouquets. The bridal chorus cued and all the guests stood and turned to watch as Elsa entered with her Aunt Ingrid. Killian glanced at Liam, and the look on his face was priceless. Even though Liam had seen her prewedding, he was still blown away and waited for his bride with bated breath. When Liam had seen her before the wedding, Elsa was a nervous wreck, but now… now she had a giddy, carefree smile on her face as she locked eyes with her groom. The spark between them was undeniable, and Killian’s heart warmed knowing his brother had picked the most perfect woman to spend the rest of his life with. She was stunning, and looked like an exquisite ice queen.

Elsa kissed Ingrid's cheek and joined her groom at the altar still donning a bright smile as they exchanged the vows they had written for each other, telling everyone how they had met and how they had fallen in love, not leaving a dry eye in the place by the time they said their I do’s .

Through a watery gaze, Killian looked over at Emma, who was wiping tears from her eyes, and he could hear the sniffles of the guests throughout the room. When the rings were exchanged and the minister announced them, husband and wife, Liam kissed his bride as everyone cheered, and off the happy couple went down the aisle.

The day was bright and clear when the bridal party made it outside for photos, and even though it was a little chilly, it was nothing to deter them from having the photos taken out on the edge of the cliff with the beautiful mountains as their backdrop as well as at the top of the lighthouse.

The reception was held in the banquet hall with an open bar, raided by the guests before they sat at their assigned tables. The bridal party sat at the Head Table and Killian took the microphone and stood to give his speech.

"For those of you who don’t know me, I am the more devilishly handsome and wittier Jones brother,” he quipped, and immediately received a playful eye roll from Liam. “What can I say about Liam?" he asked and then held up a finger as though an idea struck him suddenly. "Ah, yes…" He reached inside his suit jacket and retrieved a folded piece of paper, which was blank, but he pretended to read from it. “Liam Jones is a great man, he is selfless, he's kind... he’s honorable." Killian paused and looked at Liam pointing at the piece of paper. "Liam, you spelled handsome wrong," he spoke loudly, “you forgot the d,” and everyone laughed, including Liam who shook his head. Killian returned his attention to the guests. "And apparently he can't spell correctly, even when writing about himself."

"Haha, very funny," Liam teased with a bashful grin.

Killian cleared his throat as he tucked the paper away and looked at his brother, lifting his hand to his shoulder. "No, but seriously, Mum would have been so proud of you if she were alive today,” he said sincerely and looked toward the audience again. “Ever since we were kids, Liam has always been there for me… when we lost our mum, when our dad walked out on us, when we were in the navy together, when I lost my hand, and even when we weren't on such great terms." He looked at Emma and smiled. "There was a time, believe it or not when I did not have great taste in women, unlike my brother here." Killian gestured to Emma, "I’m clearly not speaking of my lovely girlfriend, Emma."

Emma smiled and blushed, and Liam nodded, not willing to argue with him there.

"He warned me about this other lass, who shall remain nameless. Tried to tell me she wasn't good enough for me, and I should've listened… but alas, I was a stubborn arse, just like my brother here, and so I got my heart stomped on by said woman. To make matters worse, I was an alcoholic at the time, so I tried to drink my sorrows away, and then one day I decided to get out of bed and pick my pride up off the floor to call Liam. After I told him what had happened, he could’ve said he’d told me so or he could've just hung up on me, but he didn’t. Instead, he told me to pack my bloody things, get my arse on a plane and fly as far away from that devil of a woman as I possibly could. And I said to him, where am I gonna go? You're all I've got, brother. And that's when I knew those were the magic words to Liam's heart, because after he so lovingly told me to go to hell," Killian paused, allowing the guests to laugh before continuing, “he said, you're staying with me, whether you like it or not. So that's exactly what I did. I got on a plane and literally stumbled through my brother's door. I dropped my luggage off before stumbling over to a bar and then, later on, I stumbled into my neighbor’s apartment and one of the occupants came home,” he added with a smirk, “boy was she surprised." He winked at Emma while the audience laughed.

“I ended up making said occupant my girlfriend, but that's a story for a different time. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, when I was at my worst," Killian held up his prosthetic hand, "and yes, it was worse than getting my hand blown off in the Navy…" he joked, prompting another spur of laughs from the crowd, "Liam offered me his home, got me a job and helped me get on my feet again. He has always taken care of me, despite how angry we were with each other or how much more handsome I’ve always been than him" he said, emphasizing the d, "and how much I beat him at arm wrestling, even with one hand."

Liam rolled his eyes but was smiling at the same time.

"And Elsa, well… I don't think it needs to be said, but I'll say it anyway… Elsa, I am so glad Liam found someone to put the royal pain in the butt in his place. I could not have chosen a better sister-in-law if I had picked her myself." Killian went over to Elsa and they exchanged chaste kisses on the cheek.

"Thank you, Killian," she smiled.

"Liam… Elsa…” Liam took the microphone, holding it up for Killian so he could raise his glass. “To a lifetime of love and happiness.”

"Thank you, brother," Liam said appreciatively, patting his brother on the back.

Everyone drank to the toast, and Liam passed the microphone to Emma as she stood up.

“Hi, I am Emma, the Maid of Honor and also one of Elsa’s best friends. So, the story of how I met Elsa is pretty ordinary,” Emma began. “Elsa was looking for a place to live, I was looking for a roommate and the rest is history. But little did I know at the time, our friendship would be so much more than ordinary. I can’t tell you how many days we have known each other, but I can tell you, there was never a day when Elsa wasn't there for me. She is like the sister I never had and while we were roommates, we borrowed each other’s things without asking, we got after each other for borrowing each other’s things, I would break into her boyfriend’s apartment to borrow things from him—you know the typical sisterly stuff," she quipped before adding, "but then I didn't have to break in because I started dating his brother." She looked at Elsa and Liam who were both laughing and offered a sweet smile. "But before that, I had the advantage of witnessing these two fall in love. I remember how Elsa would come home with a great big smile on her face after running into our British neighbor who had moved in across the hall, and I remember how he came to me one day to ask for advice about how to ask Elsa out. If it were any other guy, I probably would've told Elsa to run away and never come back," Emma laughed, "but I knew Liam was different and I'm so glad I trusted my instincts. It was such a privilege to be there for them every step of the way while they slowly fell in love with one another.” Emma’s eyes welled up with tears as Liam took Elsa’s hand, and she could tell they were also on the verge of tears.

“And now they're both moving out and getting a place of their own. But I'm not worried because there is no distance that could keep us apart." She looked over at Elsa who was smiling back at her. "You will always be like a sister to me," Emma said sincerely and turned her attention to the audience. "And if there is one thing I have learned about my good friend, Elsa… it's to never keep a secret from her because you’ll regret it. Elsa will never judge you, she is warm and kind and forgiving… and no, she did not tell me to say these things,” she joked with a small smile. “She is really perfect for Liam because for those of you who don’t know him very well, I will be the first to say it—he is an OCD control freak.” Emma paused as everyone burst into laughter. “Elsa is the only one on God’s green earth who can sweeten his bitter ways. That's why he takes his coffee black and why we never hear him complain about Elsa hogging the blankets, even though we know she does… it's because she's sweeter than any creamer and she's warmer than any blanket he would need. He's the whiskey to our glass and she's the Coke with the cherry garnish. He's the peanut butter to our bread and she's the strawberry jam. Alone they can be a bit overbearing—well Liam can be at least," she corrected with a smirk, and Liam scowled playfully, "but together they are the perfect combination. In fact, being friends with these two is like going skydiving… only instead of jumping off the plane when you’re ready, Liam throws you the parachute and pushes you off when you refuse to jump.” Everyone cracked up, and Emma continued when the laughter died down. “And Elsa is the parachute that softens the landing.”

The audience cheered and clapped as Elsa looked up at Emma with tears in her eyes.

“I love you both, and it is with great honor that I raise my glass to you...” Emma lifted her glass to Elsa and then to Liam, “to you...” before raising her glass higher to both of them, “to your happy beginning… and to happily ever after.” They clinked their glasses and drank, and Emma handed off the microphone to the announcer as Elsa stood to hug her.

“Thank you, Emma, that was very sweet.”

“It was only the truth,” Emma assured her.

Liam took his turn and drew Emma into a hug, kissing her cheek as Killian looked over at her with pride in his eyes. “Great speech, Emma.”

“Aye, you nailed it, love,” Killian added

Emma smirked and kissed her boyfriend's cheek. “I know.”

After they all had their turn at the buffet, it was time for the cake, which looked way too good to eat. It had three tiers and royal blue frosting, decorated with silver sugar pearls to make it look like it was frosted with snow. Liam and Elsa cut the cake before shoving it in each other’s faces. They had their first dance as husband and wife before everyone else joined in. The group took turns dancing with each other in pairs, and Leo got to dance with Aunt Em Em, and finally, Emma got a chance to dance with her boyfriend. He spun her around and dipped her, spurring on a gale of giggles. The reception was a blast, and soon, it was time for Elsa to toss the bouquet, which Emma caught. Killian made sure to snag the garter belt after Liam flung it in the air, and he promptly slid it up Emma’s leg.

They sent the bride and groom off in a decorated limousine. And from there, the newly married couple would head to the airport and leave for their honeymoon in Bali. Emma and Killian went back to their hotel in Glasgow that night, and were so exhausted they went straight to bed and fell asleep in each other’s arms. While the rest of the group had to get back to the States, Emma and Killian spent a few more days in Scotland before they headed home. Luckily they had a different flight attendant who didn't hit on Emma’s boyfriend.

~*~

The next couple of months flew by, probably because they were very eventful, with Elsa and Liam moving into their new home, Killian and Emma moving his things into her place, both couples buying new furniture and of course the holidays they all spent together. Because Elsa and Liam were still in the process of unpacking at the time, the group spent Christmas at the Nolan’s, and then Liam and Elsa hopped on a plane to visit Anna and Kristoff for New Years, while Emma and Killian spent the days leading up to it painting their bedroom, which had been Emma’s when she had lived with Elsa, but they both decided pink wasn’t the best color, just like the pink, fluffy pillows and pink furniture needed to go as well.

They both wanted to make their new home theirs. And since they moved Emma’s bed into Elsa’s old room, and since Killian’s bed frame was so old they literally broke the bed, they were waiting to get a new frame once they were done painting their room (although they started playing around when Killian told her she missed a spot on the wall and they ended up getting more paint on themselves than they did on the wall that day and cleaned off together in the shower). They spent New Year’s Eve in Times Square watching the ball drop since Killian had never experienced anything like it before. As fun as it was, the weather was bitter cold and they spent a lot of time waiting for the ball to drop since they had to arrive very early to retain their spot, they agreed to spend the next New Year's Eve at home.

Superbowl Sunday was at Liam and Elsa’s house, and the couple was more than happy to host their first party after they had made the desired changes and redecorated the home to their liking. Liam, of course, wasted no time to make sure the house was picture perfect. Although it was nowhere near finished, for he planned on fixing up the basement and garage and planned on building a backyard deck in the spring.

The next day, Emma had to drag herself out of bed; she felt like crap even though she and Killian had no alcohol. She had explained to the gang she was refraining from alcohol to support Killian’s sobriety, but what she didn't tell them was the other reason she hadn’t drank…

Emma sat on the toilet seat, waiting in anticipation as she stared at the white stick in her hand, not able to peel her eyes away, as though the pregnancy test would catch on fire if she looked away. She couldn’t believe she forgot her birth control pills while she was in Scotland. She never forgot to take them and didn’t even realize she hadn’t until after she and Killian had arrived home. She didn't think she could get pregnant from going a few days without them until she ended up vomiting yesterday morning. And it couldn't have been the food she ate the night prior when she was babysitting Leo considering he didn't get sick, although he was recovering from the flu.

When only one line remained, Emma breathed a sigh of relief. She and Killian had talked about having kids someday, but she knew they weren’t ready yet. They’d only been dating for eight months, she loved their life and didn’t want anything to change just yet. But a tiny part of her—okay maybe an even larger part of her—ached in disappointed at the fact that she was not pregnant. It turned out she'd gotten the flu from Leo.

~*~

One week later

“Okay, I can’t take it anymore, what’s the surprise?” Emma asked as Killian took her hand and led her through their apartment. “And why am I wearing my bathrobe for such a surprise?” Only moments ago, she was wearing a black dress and heels for her birthday dinner that she had carefully chosen when Killian told her he was taking her out to a nice dinner and dancing. Now she was in her bra and panties and a bathrobe per Killian’s request. She was also wearing a blindfold as he took her to his desired destination.

“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise, love.”

Emma sighed, but allowed him to lead the way, and soon she felt the cold, tiled floor under her feet, which meant they were in the kitchen, because why would they be in the….

Killian lifted the blindfold, and to her utter confusion, they were in their bathroom, and it was currently lit by scented candles which covered the bathroom countertop.

Emma raised a brow as she looked at Killian, who was also in nothing but his bathrobe. “Why is this such a surprise?”

Killian smirked at her with those smoldering blue eyes that told her he was up to no good, and he pulled at the belt of his robe, untying it. He let the cotton fabric fall to the floor and got into the tub naked. It wasn't even filled with water.

“What are you doing?” Emma was even more perplexed

Killian reclined back, leaning his head against the tiled wall as he waved his hand around him. “Doesn’t this look familiar to you?”

Emma planted her hands on her hips and pursed her lips, thinking about his question for a moment. Killian was lying in the tub naked, which of course was how she had found him nine months ago. “This is how we met... sort of.” She crossed her arms and smirked. “Only you were jerking off if I do recall.”

Killian nodded, blush coloring his cheeks as he gave a small smile. “I was, but that was a different time in my life. Milah had just broken up with me, and my brother and I were not on speaking terms. But you, my love, you found me in this exact spot.” His features grew serious as he continued. “I was a shattered mess... and you accepted me even when I was at my worst.”

Emma smiled, her eyes pricking with tears. She climbed into the tub and straddled him in the cramped space. Killian sat up and wrapped his arms around her back as she cupped his cheeks in her hands.

“You were adorable,” she laughed.

“I was a hot mess,” he tried to correct her, his eyes clouding with regret and embarrassment as he lowered his eyes.

“An adorable hot mess,” she added with a small smirk and lifted his face so she could gaze into those bright blue eyes she had swooned over even during their first encounter. “I can’t say I would have pictured us getting together at the time, you did throw up in my hair,” she reminded him.

Killian blushed deeper, and his expression was still full of regret, but at least she got a small smile out of him. “Sorry, love, it wasn’t exactly my finest hour, was it?”

Emma shook her head. “Nope.”

Killian’s smile widened a bit. “And yet, you're still here with me.”

She smiled brightly. “That's true, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“Me neither.” Killian bit his bottom, and he looked nervous about something, although she didn’t know why. “In fact, I always want you here with me, love, no matter what.”

Emma arched a brow. “Here in the bathtub?”

Killian chuckled and shook his head. “No, in my life.” He glanced above Emma, and she lifted her head to see what he was looking at. “Could you hand me that, love?”

Her eyebrow only seemed to rise higher toward her hairline. “You mean the loofah?”

“Aye.”

“Okaaay,” she answered skittishly, studying him cautiously. “But if you plan on taking a bath, you kind of need water and soap to do that.” Emma grabbed the loop of the loofah and removed it from the hook it was hanging on. Glancing at it, she noticed something silver and shiny sitting at the bottom of the loop. Her mouth fell open as she stared at the large diamond.

“No, I plan on asking you to marry me.”

Emma was too stunned to speak as she gaped at the ring with wide eyes.

Killian took the loofah from her hands and removed the engagement ring, holding it up for her. “Will you marry me, Emma?”

She gazed at him in shock, seeing the glint in his eyes as he awaited her answer.

“Love?” His face fell slightly in concern, and she knew what her answer was, she just didn't have the strength to say it at first.

Finally, a smile blossomed over her lips and she blurted her answer out in a choked sob. “Yes.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I will marry you,” she laughed, a tear streaming down her cheek.

Killian sighed in relief, a big smile spreading across his lips. His eyes were buzzing with excitement as he drew her in for a kiss, his hand sliding through her hair as he breathed her in. “Love, you scared me for a moment,” he murmured, resting his forehead against hers.

“Sorry, I was just surprised.” She stuck out her hand, and he slipped the ring on her finger. “I love you, Killian, of course, my answer is yes.” She giggled and cupped his cheeks in her hands.

“I love you, too, Emma.”

Pure bliss took over them as she crushed his lips with hers and they kissed with everything they felt for each other. She would never grow tired of kissing this man’s lips, she never grew tired of how he smelled or how he tasted, how he bit her bottom lip and groaned in her mouth when she slipped her tongue against his. The kiss ignited a fiery spark between them and quickly intensified, similar to how a flame reacted to gasoline. Emma removed her robe, tossing it to the floor, along with her bra and panties, and they made love in the tub, both of them finding blissful release in each others’ arms before collapsing. Killian laid on his back, resting his head on the edge of the tub and Emma laid her head on his chest, their limbs entangled as they struggled to catch their breaths.

It took a few minutes of calming her heart rate before she was able to speak again. “Can I ask you something?” she asked, running her fingers through his chest hair and taking his naval charms in her hand to admire them as she often enjoyed doing.

“Of course, love.”

She looked up at him, gazing warmly into his eyes. “You still don't remember anything from that night, do you?”

Killian took a long breath as he thought about her question. “I remember being at the bar, but that’s it.”

Emma nodded and bit her bottom lip. “It’s really strange because I was only gone for not even ten minutes. I left my apartment and headed downstairs. It’s amazing we didn’t see each other before I found you in the tub.”

“You were only gone for ten minutes?”

“Yeah, I was in a tank top and a pair of grey shorts, you know the shorts I always wear when I don’t plan on going out in public.”

Killian grinned salaciously and ran his tongue over his lips as he skimmed his fingers up her arm. "Are you kidding? How could I forget those shorts? I'm just surprised I don't at least remember you wearing them that night."

Emma nodded. "There are many little mysteries from that night I wonder about."

"Like what, love?

“Like why you decided to jerk off in the tub," Emma laughed.

Killian shrugged. "Not sure, but if I had to guess, I'd say I took the elevator up to our floor and got a peek of you in those shorts as you took the stairs down to the laundry room without noticing me, and I decided to take matters into my own hand once I got home. This bathroom is where my bedroom was in Liam's apartment so I probably mistook the tub for my bed. Once I realized it was indeed not my bed, I was probably too trashed to care,” he mused with a solemn expression and a weak smile. “So, I thought of you in those lovely shorts to avoid thinking about my bleedin' heart."

Emma nodded and smirked at the idea. "That sounds like a reasonable explanation. If only it were true."

"I guess we'll never know."

Emma shrugged. "Guess not."

They were silent after that, and eventually, they moved to the bedroom and he scooped her in his arms under the covers with only the light of the moon aiding their vision.

Her mind was frazzled with thoughts, and she decided to tell him about how she had thought she was pregnant a week ago, and how she didn’t tell him then because she didn’t want to get his hopes up before she knew for sure. Killian was shocked, but told her he’d love any baby they have. Emma agreed.

“I have to say I was a little disappointed when I found out the test was negative,” she confessed.

“Don’t worry, love, we’ll have babies when the time is right,” he assured with a small smile as he stroked her cheek.

A thought occurred to her suddenly and she laughed as her face heated up with blush. "Just think, when we do have children someday we'll have to tell them the story of how we met, you know when they're old enough."

"I suppose you're right," he chuckled.

She looked at him to see him also blushing. "You wouldn't be too embarrassed to tell them?"

"Perhaps a little, but, as long as I get to tell it with you, I’d be a very happy man.”

Emma looked up at her sentimental fiance—wow, she'd have to get used to calling him that—with pride. She was so grateful she had met him, even if they did meet under less than ordinary circumstances. Now, nine months later, they lay in each other's arms, engaged to be married. Another unbidden thought occurred to Emma and she snorted out loud, clapping her hand over her mouth.

Killian peered down at her with a raised brow. “Love? Care to share what's so funny?”

Emma shook her head, her face beet red. “Sorry, I was thinking… we’ll have to tell our friends how you proposed bare ass naked. Liam will make fun of you, for sure.”

Killian blushed profusely and scratched behind his ear. “Aye, I guess when I came up with such a brilliant idea, I clearly didn’t think it over thoroughly."

Emma shook her head and laughed as she cupped his cheeks in her hands. “No, you didn’t. That’s okay, I love you anyway,” she teased with a wink.

"I love you too, Emma, and I'd take endless joking and teasing from my brother than a lifetime without you," he professed sincerely, carressing her cheek. Emma's heart fluttered at his words, and she smiled, her eyes shining with tears. "As I've told you many times before… I never wanted just part of you, I want the whole thing. So if that means we have to tell our children how we met and our friends how I proposed, so be it.”

Her smile broadened as she remembered fondly the first time he had told her that, when he had refused to take advantage of her for one night of passion. It still melted her heart, to this day. Emma nuzzled his nose softly with hers, whispering to him gently, “You'll always have the whole thing with me... I promise." She sealed her promise with a kiss.

@acaptainswaneternity @basful-Killian @deathbycaptainswan @dragon-princess @onceuponaprincessworld @artistic-writer @resident-of-storybrooke@wordsmith-storyweaver @hollyethecurious @kmomof4 @andnothinghurts @slimacwrites @onceuponaswanscastle @piratesbooty63fan @idristardis @ladyciaramiggles @truefangirl97 @t-tamm- @wellhellotragic @takhisismb @winterbaby89 @julesep3026 @jennjenn615 @swanjonescaptain @cynmoon @mayquita @kday426 @jennjenn615 @shady-swan-jones @teamhook @andiirivera @ultraluckycatnd @hooked2kill @truefangirl97 @its-about-bloody-time-cs @fleurreads @roterteufel11 @hey-it-is-jess @hookslovelyswan @coliferoncer @m98h @hungrywhovianpotterheadfrom221b @all3ofthatcrap @kgchambe @olliemarch @dmitriy30 @fhel09-blog @missclois86 @greys-shepherdland @animatedshorts @pinkbonesforeverblog @buckybarnex @captainswan-shipper88 @iminwinnipegthatsincanada @killylovesemma @myideaaofperfect @julieta-tas @roterteufel11 @rere105 @bethacaciakay @unmotivated-trashcan @aeinhorn12 @wanderlust1990 @121101chara @swanderful1 @thesavior-and-thepirate @densi-captainswan @myprincess-myemma-mypirate @lostprincessofatlantica @troiansbeautynz @trishnelle84 @micharah @captainvintage-and-cupcakes

#cs ff #cs ff au #captain swan #frozen jewel wedding #a helping hand #my fic

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anxiousheart4 · 5 years ago

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Looking for a Lifeline!

I know it's been a while since I’ve posted in my own words, in fact it's been almost a year, I’m sorry for that. I’ve always been terrible at keeping up with journaling, so why would I think blogging would be any different? Lol.

If you haven’t noticed, I am a fan of TWLOHA and its message to everyone. I've always followed them, and they mean a great deal to me. So I hope in my absence, you’ve enjoyed the posts of theirs I've been sharing. 🙂

Anyways, I don’t have any really good excuse for while I haven’t posted for a long while (well I do between Thanksgiving and Christmas last year, but not since then), and I even got a new laptop this year, that works SOOOO much better then my old, glitchy, slow ass one; so not having a computer can’t be my excuse. And I've had a lot of free time this Summer, so I can’t even say I was busy either. Basically no excuse, but I’m back; so lets catch up.

So, between Thanksgiving and Christmas I was working 4 jobs!

-Mon-Fri 8am-4pm at an office job that I hated.

-Sat & Sun at the Zoo taking kids photos with Santa

-And then Mon-Fri nights, I switched between working at my local GameStop, and helping at my other local Zoo taking Santa photos as well.

The office job I was working was doing bookkeeping at a nursing home. I met some nice residents there, and some mean ones. I met some nice co-workers, and some I didn’t quite get along with. There was 3 other girls in my office.

One was extremely nice and helpful, and patient with trying to teach me, I got along with her quite well. I would actually have conversations with her, and it felt like she did want to get to know me.

Another was the Boss’ wife, and she was nice and all, but also very intimidating, and she never made me feel welcomed; she would be having a conversation with the other 2 girls, but as soon as I tried to join the conversation it was like “we got to get back to work” and the conversation stopped.

And the last girl, I would have thought I would have gotten along with her so well, we have the same taste in music and tv shows, I was like oh yay we can bond! NOPE! I did everything she gave me to do, and asked me to do and it was never good enough, or fast enough, or competent enough, or just enough. She made me feel like a complete failure! And unless she needed me for something, it was like I didn’t even exist! She would go out for lunch, and ask the other 2 girls in the office if they wanted her to bring back anything, and she never even looked my way and asked me once, never! Seriously the best days at work were when she didn’t come in for some reason or another.

Besides the one girl, no one else ever tried to make me feel welcomed in the office, I spent 6 months of my life feeling like an outcast at work, looking for a lifeline, just trying to survive. Apparently the girls in the office went out after work and hung out together, not like I was ever invited to join and get to know them. Instead I went to the movie theater next to work where a friend of mine was a manager and would stop in to see her or go see a movie all by myself. The only time I was ever invited out with them was when they would go to lunch for someones birthday, and still I think that was mostly because every one split the bill evenly except the birthday girl (which I do approve of), so it was a little less money for everyone else. Only the one girl made me feel like I was actually welcomed, otherwise I just listened to their conversations, cause no one seemed to wanna include me. And Surprise Surprise! They never did anything for my birthday! They do all this stuff for the employees birthdays, bring in breakfast, go out to lunch, decorate their office, etc. all I got was a generic card they did for everyone “Happy Birthday from ’The Companies Name’”.

I think one thing that can make even the worst job in the world bearable, is your co workers. I’ve had some terrible jobs, but I had some awesome co workers, so I didn’t dread going to work as much everyday because I got to see them. Safe to say, most of my coworkers there never made me feel like a coworker, a friend, or anything else. I went to work everyday dreading the next 8 hours of my life. When I got let go, I never even said good bye to any of the other people who worked I the building, I only said good bye to the nice one in my office and that’s it. So the ONLY things I liked about the job, was that I got to sit down to work, and the money, oh the money! I miss the money soo bad! But the job gave me SOOO much stress and anxiety, idk if it was worth the money. 😞

Although, I was able to buy my new computer, a MacBook Air, and I have wanted a MacBook since I was in high school, I just could never afford it.

My other jobs, were pretty good, only minor complaints. But I LOVED my coworkers at the other 3 jobs! The biggest complaint was that I had no time to myself because I was so busy.

Gamestop was cool, after only being there for a couple weeks they interviewed me for a supervisor position, they believed I was competent enough! The only reason I didn’t take it, was cause I got the office job, and I couldn’t turn down the money (though now I wish I hadn’t, it would have saved me soo much stress and anxiety). So I stayed seasonal, so when the holiday season was over, my employment was over there.

The one Zoo I worked at during the week, I've worked at for years now, and I love it, and the guys who play Santa are sooo nice, I get some really nice guests, and 90% of the time everything goes smoothly, and I actually hang out with my coworkers outside of work!

The other Zoo I worked at Sat & Sun was pretty much the same as the first Zoo, I love my co workers, and actually hang out with them outside of work. The big complaint about that Zoo, was the guy who played Santa. HE WAS AN ASSHOLE! He had an opinion on everything, and had a problem with how we run our business, and he wouldn’t even let the kids tell him what they wanted for Christmas. We told him we wanted to get a picture of the kids talking to him, and he would tell the kids to “look at him and PRETEND to tell him what they wanted” and then as soon as I took the photo, even if the kid was in the middle of something he would just kick the kid off his lap and move on to the next family. I’m sorry, but if I had kids, I would definitely NOT want them to go see that Santa! I don’t see how so many people line up to see him, and he’s been Santa at the Zoo for years! How has he not lost the Zoo business! But I still like my job, so I'm going back again this year! Lol

Anyways, so that was my holidays, as were coming up to another holiday, lol.

After the holidays, and my busy schedule, I went to Arizona and Mexico for 10 days, and it was AMAZING and relaxing, with only a few hiccups. Like an all inclusive resort without free wifi! What is that? I was gonna use wifi to check in with family back home, but that didn’t happen! And the the room was falling apart, and one of our rooms had bugs in it, and maids didn’t clean very well, like wtf kind of resort was this? But besides that, I got to see and hang out with my sister from another mister who lives in AZ and I don’t get to see often. We went line dancing, which was FANTASTIC! I got to spend my 29th birthday in Mexico, Florida, and AZ + flying over the states between! And with the time difference my birthday lasted 26 hours instead of 24! And I didn’t think about work once during the whole trip until they day I had to come back, and it was because I didn’t wanna come back and go to work!

WOW this is getting long, I'm sorry, only a couple more topics I need to talk out. Its been a very stressful year!

Well after I lost the office job, I've been pretty much Ubering for money, and not making too much of it. But all summer I got to spend weekends going to Bridal/Baby Showers, Weddings and family parties, which I've never really gotten to do before (well besides the weddings, I've never missed a family wedding), so that was awesome! And the weekends we didn’t have an parties, I went up north to my family’s summer home, which my parents just got about 2 years ago, and I’ve barely been able to go before. Which is soo much fun! Ice cream socials, the pool, bonfires, drinking games, bar hoping out on the boat! Nothing about it isn’t fun! So YAY!

If you remember, last November I moved in with my 93 year old grandma with dementia. This experience has been stressful. She spends her days trying to call her mother and grandmother, who are at the cemetery; pacing around the house; she puts dirty dishes in the dishwasher away and washes clean dishes twice; she sets the air conditioning and heat up to 80 degrees, I swear she’s trying to kill me. Its very hard, but I love her, and I love that I get this time to spend with her. And thank god for my mom who is only a call away to help with grandma when my anxiety is through the roof and I can’t deal with her atm, I wouldn’t survive this without her!

This week is going to try me though. I’m staying home all week with grandma, because she just had surgery. She had skin cancer on her nose, and they had to remove it. She’s fine, but she has a bandage on her nose that she isn’t suppose to take off, and yet she does like every time I look away, she’s not supposed to irritate it by touching it or blowing her nose, but she tries to blow her nose every 5 mins. And she’s suppose to sit down and relax with her head back so it doesn’t start bleeding again, I swear she won’t stay sitting if her life depended on it. Ill probably write more about living with her at a later date, but Ill leave it to that now.

Lastly, while I was sitting down writing the blog post, I got a call that just devastated me. My grandma on my other side, has been having some health issues the last week and it has not been looking good, I was going to go see her tomorrow night. Well my mom called me to let me know that she passed away tonight. She was 82 years old, and though she would technically be my step-grandma, she was the only one I ever knew on that side, and I loved her just the same. My dads mom died of tuberculosis probably about a decade before I was born, but my grandpa remarried an amazing woman, and some of my extended family had trouble accepting her (the cousins opinions, usually based on their parents, who probably thought she was trying to take their mothers place, like some kids react to a step mom), but I always saw her as grandma. What kills me is the last time I saw her, I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye! It was my cousins wedding at the beginning of October, and even though I talked to her during the wedding, when she left that night, I was out on the dance floor or somewhere, and didn’t know she was leaving, so I never said goodbye. And now I'll never have the chance too!! I know she knew I loved her, and though her body was deteriorating, her mind was still has sharp as ever! She was a sweetheart! And my sister and I kept saying we were going to go visit her and bring her dinner, or watch the Blackhawks game with her, and as much as we said it, we barely ever went, and I really wish we had! She was an amazing woman and I’m so happy I got to call her Grandma, but I’m going to regret not spending more time with her when I could, especially near the end! When my Grandpa died, over 15 years ago, I had actually seen him the week before, and gave him a hug and kiss goodbye before I left. Plus he died 2 days after Christmas, and he used to give all the grand children $10 for Christmas (there was 29 of us at the time so for him that was still a lot of money), so I had gotten one last Christmas present from him, which I never spent. I have $10 just sitting in a jewelry box, because nothing ever seemed important enough to spend it on. And after he died I was given his guitar, which I still cherish! I fear I won’t have nothing but 1 picture with my grandma to remember her by. Its going to be hard to say goodbye! 😭

So since its 2 am, and I've been holding back tears while I've been writing this post, and my anxiety and depression will probably be bad this week, I think its time for me to go to bed. Sweet Dreams sweet readers!

#twloha towriteloveonherarms

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