#sorry mutuals i had a barbie moment

[north-park]

About the Barbie movie, I feel like when people say Butters would be Ken they mean that as a dig at Butters, like "No, Butters is an awful misogynist! He's not a good person!" but from what I understand Ken being misogynistic in the movie had a lot to do with him being just ignorant of what the patriarchy even is, thinking it has to do with horses, and that's why he fell into toxic masculinity? (I haven't seen the movie yet but that's what I've heard.) Which I feel is actually accurate to Butters' personality as often when he's doing something horrible it comes from being misinformed or unaware of how wrong what he's doing is and not an actual place of malice. So I don't think some people saying Butters is Ken is the horrible label they intend it to be. Not really sure why I'm sharing this but it's a thought I've had for a little while and I guess your post just gave me a chance to mention it to someone.

Yeah i totally understand what you mean and i agree!

I don't know if you want to ever see the movie but here's a little summary of Ken's story:

Ken is Barbie's love interest, his character was born to be just that, all his desires amount to wanting Barbie to notice him and to fall in love with him, Barbieland is run by Barbies and Ken do nothing, I think it's worth mentioning that Ken's love for Barbie is very.... realistic and not really how a kid would potray a couple with their dolls, he is very jelaous and possessive of her, doesn't like that his Barbie (there are many Barbie in this movie but he is in love with the MC Barbie) gives attention to other Kens or other Barbies, wants to do boyfriend/girlfriend things despite not understanding it either, he is just a friend for her and Ken is pretty conflicted about it

In Barbieland his role is pretty minor, all professions are run by Barbies and only Barbies and what Kens do all day is standing on the beach doing beach things and tecnically don't have rights or homes (Ken is NOT homeless in the Barbieverse, i think this is just a jab to the fact there is no Ken's house toy IRL but, uh, it raises a lot of questionsabout this world), basically imagine the usual "what if gay was the norm" video but with genders instead, but despite all being a pretty dystopian place Barbieland is a very nice to Ken, but it's not enough once Ken goes to the real world to follow Barbie's journey, without her permission

Once arrived in the real world, this is where Ken's arc really kickstarts, in this world he sees men are treated better than women and he, really, really likes it, he isn't just an equal to Barbie but even treated better than her, Barbie hates it because the real world is so awful and misogynist to her but instead he tries to understand why this world is like this by reading books (which is kinda weird now i think about it, the dolls don't know even how to drink but they can read real language?) about the patriarchy and horses, an animal who he gets really obsessed with and symbolized masculinity in movie, but it's no "perfect" for him either, he tries to land an high profile job like being a surgeon or a CEO with no qualifications for it, he can't even return to his old "beach" job in the real world, which gives him the idea to return to Barbieland and make that virgin society in his Patriarchy Dreamland where men rules and girls drools and Barbie loves him like she should

Once it's Barbie's turn to return to Barbieland she finds out all the Kens rule it now with an iron first and they brainwashed all Barbies into being misogynistic caricatures of their old selves, who do nothing but serve and stroke Kens' ego and just are their girlfriends with no aspiration or profession (this is basically where the Wieners Out plot is centred, more or less)

Yadda yadda, but the Barbies overthrown "Kendom" (which is a cool ass name c'mon) and everything returns to normality even if now all the dolls seem to have more self-awareness now, the Kens want rights now and to be given the same opportunities as the Barbies but Prez Barbie just accepts it halfway and the narration says maybe one day the Ken will have the same power women have in the real world? (Greta Gerwin's frail libfem mind would explode in a million of pieces if you told her about Margaret Thatcher)

Barbie rejects Ken's romantic feelings forever but is still willing to help him and figure out his own role in the world, this is where she asks him sorry for everything which angered a lot of people because she did nothing wrong and Ken didn't asked forgiveness either, but I kinda get it because Barbie and Ken have been best friends since forever and you sometimes have to ask sorry for nothing in friendship, and Ken has been suffering from the same existential dread as she did if not more this entire movie, but i get the anger because Ken was a dick to her, enslaved most her friends, stole her HOME, threw all her clothes out and just made a pretty embarassing scene just to humiliate her, and made her cry. :/

Film ends with Ken accepting he can't always get everything but that's fine too, he is "Kenough", MC Barbie decides to leave Barbieland forever and go find in the real world what her ending really is and turns into a real human able to create an idea instead of just being one, i kinda liked that despite Ken liking the real world more he stayed in Barbieland because living in the real world still would mean going throught hardship and sufferings and in reality he just wants it easy, but Barbie is stronger, she is ready for more..... i think? If the movie wanted to make our Barbie an human she should have found something for HER beside a couple of friends instead of just finding life beautiful because.

Which is where my ultimate problem in Ken's character in this movie relies, Barbie starts as a blank state, in her journey towards humanity she builds her personality piece by piece thanks to the people she meets like Gloria and Sasha (the human characters who honestly deserved to be the real protagonists of this movie), but Ken just kinda starts with his own personality? Which is just sorta of messy, it really makes you wonder why it's not Barbie herself to sing a song or read a book about an animal she found interesting, when Ken turns Barbieland into Kendom it start looking way more similar to the real world which i really hated, the idea the real world is for men and a childish dreamland is for women is just a bunch of stupid bullcrap

The most interesting personality trait this Barbie was given is that she geniunely believes she invented feminism and that she was the best thing to happen to women when the characters themself kinda tear her down on that, but still love her for the joy and sense of freedom she brought to people, sadly the reason this pretty cool plot is just brushed off is because Greta Gerwin herself believes that she invented feminism and is the best thing that happened to women, not Barbie, herself.

[koiiiji]

Could you do some windbreaker characters with a fem gyaru s/o? I would specifically like Vinny you can chose any other character if you want :)

author note : OMG!! I searched some photos in pinterest, like inspiration for gyaru, and wooow!! i will definitely take some details into my style bc its sooo beautiful… i genuinely thought (idk why honestly) that gyaru is more like pink barbie in 80-90s style but it looks so cool i can’t!! sorry for such long reply, and we r mutuals so i feel even more ashamed :(( i tried with more characters but give up and done just these two!! hope you will like it💋🎗️

warning : pure fluff, vinny being softie and shelly cutie as always

vinny - he definitely have 0 idea about all fashion trends, styles and different subcultures aside from street racing… so he genuinely don’t give a fuck about your style, he crushing into person, not a pieces of clothes you wear, but once your dialogue went in all different direction, you explain him what your style specifically is and what inspired you to join this subculture, he take note in his head that as soon as he will earn more money he will buy you as many new clothes and other items as you wish.

it was one of your first dates, you were sitting together in some random cafe that you found on the way from the second-hand store to which you dragged Vinny to find new elements for your outfits.

“so… was it really necessary to spend solid 2 hours in that shop to find just few pair of shorts, skirts and belts?…” he began hesitantly, doubting whether it was worth bringing up the subject. do girls get angry if you ask them why spend so much time in the shops? should he change the subject of conversation? or maybe you want to discuss this trip to the store? it seemed that now Vinny’s brains would just explode, before you he had not had to communicate so long and closely with girls. when you looked up at him, it seemed to him that his heart skipped a couple of beats - your eyes literally sparkled with joy and fun.

"of course it was!! if you want to find really unique things, then there is no place better than a second-hand store! of course, you need to try to find something really worthwhile, but when you find that very thing.." you clenched your fists and squeezed your eyes shut, smiling so sweetly and swaying back and forth with impatience

"...oh right, let's go at my place today!!! i'll show you why we spent so much time there, these shorts and skirts will just go perfectly..." Vinny continued to listen as you happily chirped about your ideas of what to wear new things with, and it seems you also mentioned new places where you wanted to take photos together with him, and much more. at that moment, Vinny didn’t cared about anything as much as your smile. you were so sincere with him, you smiled so brightly, just like a little star in his hands, and he suddenly remembered that pleasant, soft and warm sensation in his chest, just like in rare moments from childhood. your touch pulled him out of his own thoughts as you gently shook his hand, looking questioningly into his eyes.

"didn't you listen to what i was saying?" you squinted suspiciously. "wh... what?.. no, i heard everything.."

laughing in response, you pulled him towards the exit of the cafe, in direction to your house. at that moment, it seemed to Vinny that there were no problems around, and he was finally felt like ordinary schoolboy. yes, you were the one who helped him still stay sane. you were his own little star.

shelly - 100% fashion intusiast so she highlighted your style immediately, and liked it!! as i mentioned before, she definitely would post tiktoks/insta stories with you, admiring how cool and beautiful her girlfriend is.

“hey, let’s go shopping together after school? how about finding some new stuff?” shelly said excitedly, coming up from behind and hugging you. it was the last day before weekends starts, so after school you could relax and go shopping in search of new things, maybe you will be lucky enough today and you will find some cool archive things from 2000s.

"oh my god, look at this!!" Shelly squealed in delight as she ran up to you. in her hands was Vivienne Westwood's archive white handbag, with silver chains as handles and with a distinctive badge. it needed a little repair, but for the price that was offered for this handbag, it was worth it!!

"Shelly is so cute, how did you find it?!" you exclaimed joyfully, picking up the bag from her hands and examining it from all sides. today it was a really cool piece, and after picking up a pair of pumpons and key chains for a bag, you headed to Shelly's house, deciding to celebrate this purchase with a sleepover at her house, her grandfather wasn’t at home, and he anyway liked when you two hang out together.

"what do you think about ordering something to eat and putting on makeup together? we can shoot something in tiktok! oh! or let's film unpacking for this baby, what do you say?" you asked her excitedly, as you remembered that Shelly always wanted to try your makeup style and clothes you usually wear. and she was so pleased that you remembered such little things that she mentioned once quite a long time ago, and they were deposited in your head. hugging you tightly around the neck and whispering a quiet thank you, Shelly took you by the arm and headed for her home, excitedly offering you ideas for posing and which sound you should choose for your tiktoks.

[b4b3tte]

Hello, I having not the best day....and all I need is Ken to comfort me and cheer me up, either with human or barbie reader...Just pure pink Ken fluff.

Sorry to drop the request like that and Thank you in advance

COMFORT

꒰ ⊹ ˚ Summary — You have a bad day at work and all Ken is thinking about is comforting you and making you feel better<3

Pairing — Gosling!Ken X Reader

Contains of — pure fluff!!<3

Note — Hey thanks for you request I appreciate it!! I’m sorry you had a bad day today I hope you feel better and if you have any problems at all you can dm me I’ll be happy to talk and be friends with you!🩷

As the sun set over the bustling city, Ken could tell something was amiss the moment you stepped through the door. Your radiant smile was there anymore, as you made eye contact with Ken you managed a weak smile as you kicked off your shoes and sank onto the couch. Ken took a seat next to you , concern etched across his features. "Rough day?" he inquired, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

You nodded, your voice barely a whisper. "Yeah, it's just... work stuff. Everything seemed to go wrong today and it seemed like it was my fault. “

Ken leaned closer, offering his support. "I'm here for you. Whatever you need to talk about, I'm ready to listen."

Your eyes welled up with unshed tears, you finally let yourself lean into Ken's embrace. His strong arms wrapped around you, providing the warmth and solace you desperately needed. "I just feel like I can't catch a break lately," you confessed.

You’ve always been strong and never took any mental health breaks because you thought you didn’t need them but it turns out you did need one, it just kept building up and it Finally exploded.

Ken stroked your hair gently. "You're incredibly talented and resilient. Remember all the challenges you've overcome before. This is just a bump in the road, and you're more than capable of handling it."

You’ve calmed down a bit and you have a tug at the end of your lips forming a smile, you look at Ken and hug him, you whisper “ you always know how to make me feel better “

He chuckled softly. "Being with you for a couple of months have taught me a thing or two “

As the evening wore on, Ken regaled you with funny stories, bringing laughter back to your eyes. He ordered your favorite takeout and set up a cozy movie night with your favorite movies. The hours passed, and your spirits gradually lifted, thanks to Ken's unwavering support and love.

“ You know, I'm really lucky to have you in my life."

Ken pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. "The feeling is entirely mutual. We're a team, remember? No matter what comes our way, we'll face it together."

And as you guys watched the city lights twinkle outside the window, Ken's arms around your waist, you couldn't help but feel that with him by your side, you could conquer anything the world throws at you

Hey guys! Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed it, if you have any ideas,prompts or request please let me know I’ll be more than happy to read them! Love you ❤️

[myhyperfixationisback]

hey I can’t believe I have to fucking say this but can y’all not make Oppenheimer jokes like this in the Ratchet and Clank tag. That is so massively disrespectful. it’s not Le Funny Meme it’s a real life event that impacted generations of minorities because of white men on a power trip. Joking about the fucking bomb is not funny.

Please

[gcldfanged]

A lot of people kinda don't understand the effects of racism and I've noticed "this person turned out to be a racist" seems to just kinda be on the level of "meh" for most people, so I just wanna take a moment to describe something that happened to me and how it affected me on more than a personal level in an rpc:

Imagine you've been friends with and writing with a small group of likeminded folk, having a LOT of fun, even sharing some personal information since you've been hitting it off so well.

Then, while in an rp server with said friends, one of them posts a picture of someone who looks exactly like you, albeit with stereotypically offensive and exaggerated features with a sign indicating how unintelligent they are, but also implying that your birth country should be nuked off the face of the planet.

You aren't angry so much as shocked, the anger hasn't had time to settle in yet, so you ask "uhh, what the fuck lol" and nobody seems to bat an eyelash. In fact they're all in agreement that this depiction of your people is hilarious and would make a wonderful gift for the poster's history teacher.

You, again, ask for an explanation and point out the imagery is insulting and dehumanizing and point out they ALL KNOW you are from this country, only to be told by the admin of the server "Well, I can see you're upset. I'm sorry you got offended, but it's just political humor, it wasn't supposed to upset you. Nobody in this server is trying to upset you." so ultimately, you decide to leave. You're hurt and confused, but mostly still in a state of disbelief.

Your mutual friend who lives in a different timezone was still in the server and contacts you the next morning, indicating they also recently left but also expressed that the rest of server basically spent the entire night making fun of you for being 'so gd upset over nothing'.

Now you have to live with this knowledge that you've not only lost an entire group of friends and fellow writers, but you can't say anything in public about it for fear of "causing drama". So you keep silent, you don't say anything or drop names, you confer only with your friend who also left the server.

Then even close (or so you thought) mutuals start blocking you en masse and you still can't say a solitary word to defend yourself, for fear of losing what few friends you have left in this community.

Like, sure it's not so in your face as a public lynching, but this is HOW racism affects people like me. It's not simply an isolated incident of someone saying I'm a 'chinky-eyed, dog-eating bitch' who should go back to their own 'filthy country' and me getting to call them out in public and having all of my allies hug me and tell me I'm valid.

These people were supposed to be my allies. That is how deep-rooted and insidious racism is in society and it's a lot more than just name-calling and moments of outright bullying.

I see a lot of people saying they're not fans of bigotry and that it's 'against their rules', yet when people have DNIs on their profiles and carrds and outright say it's because of racism/bigotry, it's seen as a red flag??? or when drama does inevitably happen and receipts start getting dropped, both parties are blocked immediately?

I get not wanting to have conflict in your happy fun Barbie doll-smashing space, but if your friend is feeling unsafe and betrayed on that level, like... wouldn't you want to at least hear them out? Idk. I see a lot of massive double-standards where 'drama' is concerned and it just kinda makes me wonder whose comfort level I should really be prioritizing.

[mantispire]

I’d love to hear your Ironqrow headcanons!

I have like an entire barbie dreamhouse with these characters in my head so I have legitimately hundreds... here are a few that might be the most interesting/whatever... I'm sort of shy about sharing this stuff. Laugh

I think they met back during the Vytal tournament and faced off in their one/one match. Qrow won + they kept contact over the years.

They have a /lot/ of really rough patches + a history of really bad arguments, usually hinging on Ozpin and his decisions/ their own stresses as a scout/headmaster/general/ the million other things Jame and Qrow both deal with over the years + both of their entire separate PTSDs

During the 'events of canon' ( v 1-3-> ) they're divorced and hadn't really spoken in years. I think they were married for a sort of comically brief time but it was a nightmare due to aforementioned ^ issues. They're both stubborn and have a lot of disagreements so I don't think the marriage was able to last + everyone around them knew it.

I headcanon that when they were most stably together ( like late 20's/early 30's? I need to figure out The Ironqrow Timeline in my head but that requires a lot of exploration I'm too tired to do right now ) that they tried to have a kid together. It didn't work out + both of them have a lot of feelings about it that stuck around even as they get older

Qrow ended up spending a lot of time away from James / away from Atlas especially while he had to help Taiyang raise the girls after Summer died. This didn't help their really patchy relationship -- just a lot of both of them being pulled apart by life's events.

Qrow was there with James ( as best as he could be ) as he underwent the years-long process of healing from the "paladin incident" -- lots of waiting with bated breath during surgeries and sitting at James's bedside and helping him through physical therapy etc etc etc. He was drinking at this time though and spends a lot of time regretting that he wasn't 'there' more, even though James just remembers Qrow's love and how faithfully he'd been there for him through a /lot/ of humiliating and horrible moments

I like to imagine ( in my dollhouse. This isn't relevant to canon at all. ) during v7/ Qrow's return to Atlas they start to patch things up, sort of mentally returning to the place they were when they met: one of mutual appreciation, slowly starting to undo a lot of their interpersonal problems and finding that ease and comfort with eachother once again that they'd lost. Like they come back to the metaphorical dusty empty home they left and start to clean things up. I think James would be a really big instrument in Qrow's stopping drinking and would have helped him through the process both physically and mentally. I just think they would slowly start to ease into one another, so much older now but also healed in a lot of ways. The world wont have been any better but they've both been through so much and can finally find that comfort in each other.

Qrow misplaces James's favorite fountain pen without thinking and James spends the whole day looking for it because he can't function without the specific pen he needs to use. Qrow returns it with an apology at the end of the day because he realized he'd accidentally put it in his pocket. James is just happy /he/ didn't leave it somewhere and it didn't get damaged or anything.

Sorry these got sort of serious... a lot of the silly ones are pretty contextual and small. but this is my ironqrowverse. I hope this all makes sense... thanks for reading, if anyone survived my rambling. LOL

[shadows-coffeebeans]

Woo, new ask game time, am excite!

1, 3, 5, 8, 11, 12, 14, 16, 17, 19, 20, 22, 24, 25, 26, 28, 30, 32, 33, 38, 39!

I am so sorry this took forever to answer! I had it all typed out and tumblr refreshed before I could add tags 😭

1. what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

I would say definitely cartoons, my art and friends (mutuals are included >:3)

3. 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

Luca (2021) (I watched this movie over 100 times in the first year, lost count at 30 times and it wasnt even the end of the month it released (it released on the 18th)), Barbie in Rock n' Royals and Lilo & Stitch 💥💥💥

5. what made you start your blog?

I made my original blog to read miraculous fanfiction (never posted on it til like june of 2021, even then i didnt post on it much). I abandoned that blog and made this one cause the embarrassment of it was too much.

8. any reacquiring dreams?

Every December I get a dream where a badly animated Santa's sleigh passes by. There's always people treating it like a ufo, using for clickbait and stuff. I always thought it was like a projection in the sky or something and I always wake up confused.

11. what do you consider to be romance?

Idfk man

12. what’s some good advice you want to share?

If someone isn't harming themselves or others, let them be. (if that counts for anything)

14. what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

Be silly, to express myself‼️💥💥

16. if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Stop thinking about what others think of me and also stop failing my classes

17. name 3 things that make you happy

Friends (this includes mutuals as well <3), talking about tffs (and sonic) and drawing :]

19. favourite thing about the day?

I am awake to talk with friends (just assume when I say friends, I'm including my moots)

20. favourite things about the night?

The moon and stars <3

22. say 3 things about someone you love

I love talking about sonic with/to them, when they talk about their interests, when they go on random tangents (<- went more vague because I love too many people to choose)

24. what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

My art improvement: ]

25. fave season and why?

Autumn, I know it's basic, but I just really like it :]

26. fave colour and why?

I cannot escape the purple

28. do you collect anything?

Hm, do the tags of random things I buy count?

30. what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?

When someone leaves a comment in the reblogs on my art

32. how many tabs do you have open right now?

248 if you mean on chrome, 3 if you mean apps open (yt music, discord (on call) and notes app (where im writing this))

33. any hobbies?

Drawing, watching cartoons and reading fanfiction

38. fave song at the moment?

The disco cover for I Am All Of Me

39. youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?

Defunctland, I love having him on in the background when I do stuff

[retrowaving1]

My painting of Basia in 2023 / My drawing of “the Queen” Basia (to the left) and princess myself as a cat ( to the right  ) in 2010 - yes, I was a weird child  :D

Despite the description, this post is going to be deeply personal   One month ago, I lost my dearest friend and one of the most beloved family members - my cat Basia. She was fighting a lymphoma since 2020, when she also had a surgery, but even afterward, the problem returned and started progressing again. By the end of May, my mom, who, together with the rest of my family, currently lives in Ukraine, wrote me a message that Basia stopped eating and drinking, and had trouble walking. Clearly, she was in pain and couldn't function anymore. We made a painful mutual decision to put her down the next day, so she wouldn't have to suffer anymore. 

That day, I called my parents on Telegram to say goodbye to my pet. She was looking very ill, she lost most of her weight, and her fur, once silky and smooth, was looking like hedgehog spines. I cannot choose the words (even in my native language, let alone English) to describe the emotional state I was in, knowing that I couldn't be there for her at that moment. I felt guilty and I was so sorry. However, there was nothing to be done. The next day, that was the 1st of June, her 14th birthday, a vet came over to my parents' house and sent her to her last, peaceful sleep. My parents buried her at a beautiful, safe place near the river together with her favorite toy, a mouse, which she had since she was a kitten. 

Basia was an amazing cat. She was very loving and supportive, as much as a cat can be for a human, and even more. In a way, Basia provided me with advice, when I needed one, by gently biting me on my hand when I was misbehaving as a teenager and not accepting my abusive ex-boyfriend into the family, as if she was protecting me. She was an extremely wise pet. She also was my bestie. We were together since I was 8, and she was a 2 months old little piece of fluff. She used to support me through my pain and health issues, both physical and mental. 

She was my painkiller and my inspiration. When we adopted Basia, I had been attending art school for about one year. I have always liked painting, but if before Basia I would paint trees and barbie dolls, after I got her - everything was about her. I used to paint her in different costumes, as if she was a human. Once I painted her on an a2 canvas in my school uniform and I think this work won some kind of competition, and even was hanging on the art school’s wall for some time (even though it actually was awful, if you ask me now XD). 

I guess what I want to say is that I loved that cat so much I could honestly paint her forever and even write short stories about her, as she had her own character and her approach to life, and her eyes were always filled with some unattainable cat wisdom. I truly believe that this cat had a huge influence over my interest in arts and was my first-ever muse. Thus, the most reasonable homage I can pay her is her last portrait, which would capture her young, silky and beautiful, the way I remember her, sitting on the porch of our cottage.

Basia, my dearest pet to whom I owe so much, I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you in 2020, when you first got sick, and in 2023 when your time came, but I hope you didn't hold grudges against me at the moment when you found your final peace, as you have always been in my heart and no other pet will ever replace you. I still rewatch the videos of you, jumping and playing with your mouse, and I appreciate you so much for fighting this horrible disease for such a long time. You were always so strong. Thank you for all the happy memories and for all of your support throughout the years of our mutual friendship. Thank you for everything. I love you and may your cat soul, wherever it is right now, rest in peace.

_______________________________

[hollyvorpahl]

6, 23 and 29 please!

Also, I apparently can't DM you if we're not mutuals? But I'm happy to keep talking like this if that's what you're comfortable with. :D

6. What kind of readers would be fans of this wip?

I could see fans of Legends and Lattes liking The Dot Duology and Of Glass Pens and Enchanted Treats. They're very low stakes stories that focus on the day to day of a young woman and the community she meets.

A Vow from the Winter Lord would maybe attract fans of Sjm and Elise Kova. However, it's still on the less epic scale. Important stakes but not full scale war style. So maybe those who liked specifically the romantic side to the story but didn't care much for the brewing war. 

23. How would you describe your writing style?

Um... a concentrated dose of my sense of humor? I don't see myself as inherently clever and I'm really not. So if you're reading something of mine that has a clever line or something funny, it took forever to come up with. The line also passed The Husband Test. If I have a line that I think is funny, I'll ask my husband if I can read him something. I read the scene in full with little context (he knows my stories so he understands what's going on) and if he laughs then it was actually funny and I keep it. 

For example, in A Vow from the Winter Lord, there's this lovely moment between Marian’s father and her love interest Lord Athello. Athello asks why Gregor calls Marian "Spark"? He explains that when Marian was little, he was very standoffish with her because he didn't quite understand the whole father thing yet. His wife left Marian with him in the forge one afternoon and she watched him work and would squeal with delight anytime sparks would erupt from the piece he was working on. This started their bond as father and daughter and he began to understand. He's called her Spark since. Athello calls Marian his "Little Duck". So Gregor asks the same of Athello. The answer, it feels like I'm explaining the joke so I'm sorry it isn't funny here, is that when Marian and Athello met she had been cursed by a Hag to be a duck for mouthing off to her. So Athello just sorta looks over at him and says, "She was a duck when we met."

Or lines like "Once you have animated your skeleton (that is the one you have arranged on the table, not your own)..." in A Princess Guide to Love and Necromancy. 

I see my narration as being a friend to the reader. A nicer, less foreboding version of Lemony Snicket. It gets to be clever and fun because I agonized over it for weeks.

29. Books or series or movies influenced your writing style the most?

How far back you want me to go? All the way? Okie dokie! Disney movies, particularly Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Hunchback and Hercules. Disney's Gargoyles and the Aladdin TV series too. Not Disney but still great is Anastasia. David Bowie in Labyrinth left a huge mark on my choices of love interest for my characters. The first few Barbie movies, Nutcracker, Rapunzel, Swan Lake and Princess and the Pauper. They really drove my love for feminine yet active protagonists. Most of which don't rely on combat training. Lord of the Rings, of course. Tamora Pierce was a big one. Ella Enchanted and Fairest were others. The Chronicles of Narnia, even though now I see how preachy they are. Neil Gaiman, particularly Coraline, Sandman and Stardust (book and movie, I actually like the movie more). The Merlin tv series and Tin Man had something to do with my writing too. Same with Once Upon a Time. Terry Practchet even though I haven't read a lot of his work. Lemony Snicket and unfortunately Harry Potter. Also... don't judge me but The Tinkerbell movies. I love the hell out of them and I'd be lying if I said they weren't an influence in A Vow from the Winter Lord. There are more but I'm drawing a blank now... I actually have shown my husband a lot of these things and he points out the things he recognizes as influences in my work.

I went into my settings and turned that thing off so you should be able to DM me now. I didn't realize it was on to begin with. I'm sorry.

[radiowallet]

December 28th - Long Distance

Summary: Marcus gets pulled away on a long distance mission just after the holidays leaving you and Missy alone. He calls to check in late one night and you do your best to make the distance seem a little smaller.

Pairing: Marcus Moreno x Wife (female reader)

WC: 1.9K

Warnings: Smut, mutual masturbation, dirty talk, curing, Christmas talk

Thank you to @toomanystoriessolittletime for putting together this prompt list.

The phone rings at 9:47 pm. You’re already in bed, an outdated fashion magazine you had found stuffed beneath the bed while trying to organize some of the leftover holiday chaos open across your knees, dresses that have long since passed from the zeitgeist spread out before you. You don’t need to look at the caller I.D. to know who’s on the other end, a smile spreading across your face as you answer the call.

“Hey baby,” you say in a way of greeting, flipping the page over to find bathing suits staring back at you. That’s less than helpful. “How’s the last minute business going?”

On the other end of the phone Marcus lets out a low chuckle, his laugh slightly tinged with static. Your best guess is the cell reception isn’t great wherever he and Miracle-Guy are but you dare not ask. Even with encrypted cell phones and calling recon missions “business trips” he’s still slightly paranoid about your and Missy’s safety. You tend not to tease him about it, more content to just go along with his anxieties, within reason, if only to help him sleep more soundly in these moments when he’s called away from the two of you. This time it had been the day after Christmas, Missy playing with her new Barbie dolls, you standing in front of the fridge trying to talk yourself into one more night of leftovers before saying fuck it and tossing all of it (tupperware included) in the garbage. Marcus had been having a similar internal debate, glaring daggers at the pile of needles beneath the Christmas tree when his phone rang.

“It’s fine. This hotel we found is shit but at least I have my own room tonight. Slept in the car last night. I forgot how much Jimmy fucking snores.”

You laugh quietly, muffling the sound further into the back of your hand. For a minute the two of you sit in silence, basking in the sound of the other’s breathing. Nights apart are never easy, but to have one sprung on you this close to a holiday just adds salt to the wound, and part of you wants to curse the Heroics for taking your husband away again. The other part of you, the part that’s tired from a day of chasing a five year old around, the part that misses him fiercely, just wants to close her eyes and pretend that the breathing she hears is right next to her and not miles and miles away.

Eventually he clears his throat and breaks the silence. “How’s Missy?”

“She’s good. Already bored with that Barbie dream house. Was asking me why it didn’t have the elevator like the one on the television. Toy companies can bite my ass for dropping a brand new model of something the week before Christmas.”  

It’s Marcus’s turn to laugh now, and you let the deep baritone timber wash over you, the sound of it like a balm on your soul. Fuck. You’d think it’s been 2 years and not 2 days. Still, the sound of his voice has you aching to touch him, hold him, feel him between your hands and it’s impossibly painful that you can’t do that right now.

As if sensing your frustration, he speaks again. “I’m sorry for taking off on such short notice, baby.”

“It’s okay,” you hum, tossing the magazine aside and wiggling deeper below the comforter, burying your face in Marcus’s pillow, inhaling the soothing scent of his body wash. “Just miss you is all. Wish you were here with me.”

“And where is here? The living room?”

“Mmm, no. I’m in bed. It’s lonely without you.” Your free hand falls to your thigh, tracing the bare skin just beneath the hem of one of Marc’s old t-shirts, the only thing you bothered throwing on before crawling into bed- the paint stained one with the hole by the neck that he refuses to throw away, like you would even ever consider the notion. It’s warm in the bedroom, almost too much beneath the duvet, the smell of cinnamon and pine still lingering in the air, and you can hardly hold back the breathy sigh that leaves your lips as you let your fingers move just an inch higher, Marcus’s name following the warm gasp of air from your tongue. You can hear him choke back a groan on the other end of the phone, and you know there’s a 50/50 shot of getting what you want. He’s quiet for a few seconds, breathing growing heavier as he absorbs the little hums you set free into his ear, a tension growing between you, rubber band pulled tight, threatening to snap against bare skin. Just as you’re about to let the thought leave you for now, your vibrator waiting dutifully in the drawer to your left, you hear a click followed by a groan in that same beautiful baritone that sends a wave of heat to the pit of your stomach.

“It’s lonely here too, baby. Never really got to enjoy that Christmas present did we.”

He’s referring to the lingerie you had splurged on, not usually your thing, but the little metal clasps strategically placed delicately across the thin fabric had caught your attention immediately, thinking about how your husband’s gifted hands could put that small detail to good use. You moan at the thought, partly in disappointment, partly in anticipation, fingernails digging into the meat of your thigh in hopes to alleviate some of the pressure building up impossibly fast. Before you can let yourself fall further, you feel yourself asking, annoyed that some of Marcus’s paranoia has eeked into your brain.

“Is the line safe?”

“I just added a second encryption layer,” Marcus promises -the click you heard earlier- his voice just as strangled as you feel, the rustling of sheets in the background. “What are you wearing, baby?”

“One of your shirts, the one you painted the kitchen in.”

“And?”

“That’s it.”

At your answer he lets out a deep groan, and you can see him clearly now, head tilted back, neck straining, eyes slipping shut as he lets himself fully enjoy the moment.

“Fuck,” he whispers, a hush of a sound slipping out, followed by a quick command. “Leave it on.”

The order goes straight to your core, thighs clenching around your arm, picturing the steel in his eyes. “Yes sir,” you breathe out, meaning it as a joke but instead feeling yourself grow wet that one singly syllable. You let your fingers move upward, touching gently at the lips of your pussy, letting the pad of your finger drag through your folds, already wet with arousal.

“Are you touching yourself?”

“I am,” you reply, the tip of your finger circling your clit, jolts of pleasure sparking in your core just from that simple touch. Marcus hums through the phone, his breath like liquid fire in your ears, and when he speaks again, you swear you almost come from his words alone.

“Good girl.”

You moan at the praise, turning your head to muffle the sound in Marcus’s pillow, inhaling the faint scent of him as you rub with more certainty at your clit, the bundle of nerves hard and swollen beneath your finger tip. Through the phone you can hear your husband groan, the distinct sound of skin on skin, and another moan slips out of you and into the downy soft pillow beneath your lips as you picture him fisting his cock, gripping tight at the bottom and slipping up to the tip to collect precum before sliding back down.

“Wish I could hear you, baby. Feel you. Fuuuck, you always feel so good.”

“No, you…you feel good, baby…miss you,” you sigh, shifting your hand to rub at your clit with your thumb, slipping one finger inside your entrance. It’s not enough, nothing is enough without him here and you whine at the loss of something you can’t have, desperately wishing he was here to slip his own thick finger in alongside your own. “Need you, Marcus,” you sob, pushing your finger as deep inside the tight walls of your cunt as you can.

“I know, mi amor. I know. Fuck, wish I had your hands or your mouth or your tight pussy. Fuck you so good right now if I could. Slip into that pussy and kiss you. I just want to kiss you. Kiss you all over. You’re so beautiful. Beautiful, pretty girl. I love you so fucking much.”

It’s practically nonsense, garbled word salad mixing in with the sound of him fisting his cock, a slick thrust of skin on skin, matching perfectly with the wet squelch of your pussy. The edges of his voice are pulled tight, straining with unseen exertion that you can only picture through the phone. Maybe you imagine it, or wish the command into existence, but you swear you hear his deep voice softly commanding you to add a second finger. Your breath comes out high and pitched, as you press your fingers as deep inside your cunt as they can reach, searching for that one single spot that makes stars burst behind your eyes. All the while, Marcus continues to ramble, one sentence running into the next into the next as you fuck yourself onto your fingers.

“Want to come home. Come home and lay in our bed with you. Fuck you in our bed. Feel you wrapped around my cock. Fuck, I want that. Do you want that?”

You nod, then remember that those little things he’s begging for aren’t true, and he can’t see you. The miles between you have never felt greater and you want to scream out, the rage at the long distance slamming head first into your arousal.

“Y-yes, Marc. I want that. You. I want you.”

After that it’s all heavy panting and breathy sighs traded back and forth, the sounds of your hands working yourselves closer and closer to the edge coming to the foreground of sound, wet and slick and sopping sounds as you pump in and out of your entrance, thumb brushing awkwardly at your clit, your other hand wrapped around your cell with an iron grip. It’s rushed and desperate and you know it will be over sooner rather than later, and you try not to sob at the thought. You’re close, pathetically so and you manage to slip a third finger in, sacrificing depth for stretch.

“Close. You’re close, baby. I can tell- you’re, y-your breathing is…shit, I love listening to you breathe. Please come for me, baby. Come all over your pretty fingers. I…I…”

He never gets to finish that final thought, a moan ripping from between your lips, cutting his words off at the knee. You stroke harder at your clit, your thumb pushing hard at the bundle of nerves and suddenly your coming, hips canting up into the open air above the bed. Marcus is practically sobbing through the receiver of the phone and you can see it clearly in your mind’s eyes, thick ropes of cum hitting his stomach as his strokes go from fast to slow, working himself through his own release as your body comes back down to earth.  

You breathe in slowly, together, matching the in and out of oxygen to one another, your limbs and eyes filling up with lead. It’s seconds or maybe hours, but finally, finally, your tongue doesn’t feel like it’s stuck to the roof of your mouth and you find some words to offer up to your husband.

“Come home soon, Moreno.”

He huffs, a laugh or a groan or something else, answering to you in a soft, sated promise to do just that. “As soon as I can, Moreno. As soon as I can.”

Main Masterlist

31 Days for Marcus Moreno Masterlist

Tag List: @nolanell @honestly-shite @leslie-lyman  @gingersnappe-9 @mandocrasis @castleamc @dobbyjen @sergeantbannerbarnes​ @lowlights​ @cowboy-turtle @mindidjarin @alm0501 @tintinn16​ @hnt-escape @prostitute-robot-from-the-future​ @magpie-to-the-morning​  @jazzelsaur @mylovelycomandante​

[gaybarbiegirl]

My Top 5 Gay Barbie ships

As an avid Barbie fan and a lesbian, I feel like it was only a matter of time until I made this. I think we can all agree that the Barbie movies blessed us with some of the best lesbian relationships gal pals of our childhoods, and I guess this is just my way of paying homage to my favorites. A little disclaimer, this is all just my opinion, so I'm sorry if your favorite ship isn't here.

5. Kristyn and Hailey - Barbie and the Pink Shoes

Starting out with a painfully underrated ship from a painfully underrated movie, we've got Kristyn and Hailey. In my opinion, Barbie and the Pink Shoes is the funniest Barbie movie, and these two are a big part of the reason why. They bounce off of each other really well, they have a great and believable daydreamer/down to earth dynamic, and their relationship is really sweet. I mean, it's hard to watch two people navigating an unknwon world together with no one to count on but each other and not end up shipping them. Plus, the scene where Hailey gets captured by the snow queen and Kristyn runs crying through the frozen road always breaks my heart.

4. Mariposa and Catania - Barbie Mariposa and the fairy princess

I'm gonna be honest, the way the pairings went in the Mariposa franchise actually makes me kinda bitter. And that's because they had these two characters who I think are perfect for each other, but they totally disregard their relationship for the sake of pairing Mariposa with Prince Carlos (who is honestly just a male version of her).

I mean, seriously - Mariposa and Catania have this Romeo and Juliet type of story, being from rival fairy kingdoms and all, and it would definetely have ended in romance if this was a het ship. Catania is the only one who's kind to Mariposa from the start, she bothers to learn about her culture and to make her feel welcome in her kingdom, and she trusts her blindly even when everyone around her tells her she shouldn't. In return, Mariposa listens to Catania about her struggles, and does everything in her power to help her overcome them. They have a lot in common and a lot to teach each other, their relationship development feels very natural, and their bond is what saves the day in the end. But nooo, Barbie has to end up with the prince. Smh.

3. Barbie and Sal-Lee - Barbie Starlight Adventure

These two probably have the most down to earth relationship in this list, ironically. They have no big dramatic bonding moment, no speech about believing in each other, and their love isn't what saves the universe. It's all very simple and low key, and that's kind of what I like about it.

I love how nervous Barbie is to meet Sal-Lee in the beggining, how it takes a little while for them to get used to each other, and how even in the end there's still a bit of healthy competition between them. You can tell both of them weren't what the other one was expecting, but once they get to know each other, they realize they're something even better, and I think that's really great. I also love how Sal-Lee gets all protective of Barbie, always looking out for her in the end. Overall, their relationship is just very wholesome and comforting. 10/10.

2. Merliah and Kylie - Barbie in a Mermaid Tale 2

Rivals to lovers, anyone? Truly one of the best relationship tropes out there, and it was executed beautifully in this movie.

Merliah's and Kylie's flirty rivalry in the beggining is everything, and I like how it's not one sided. Like, Merliah isn't the nice "let's all be friends" girl who's being cornered by mean girl Kylie, they're both mutually competitive, which is pretty unique for a Barbie movie. And, of course, as their relationship develops, all of their scenes are just the cutest and the gayest.

Kylie saying "since when does the queen of the waves give up?" when she's pulling Merliah out of that whirpool? Amazing.

The two of them holding hands while swimming together? Beautiful.

Merliah swooning over everything Kylie says, from her plans to her bad jokes? Lovely.

And the whole ending sequence to that movie lives in my head rent free. Merliah is all upset over being a mermaid forever because, in her own words, this means she can't surf with Kylie anymore. Then she turns human again and gets to compete with her one more time, but with love instead of animosity. And finally, the two of them thank each other for everything they got to learn together and agree to share the 1st place trophy. Incredible. Lesbian excellency. Love it with my whole heart.

1. Liana and Alexa - Barbie and the Diamond Castle

Surprising no one, Alexa and Liana get the 1st place, and for a good reason. To this day, they're the biggest wlw icons from any Barbie movie ever. Everyone has seen the posts talking about how the colours of their dresses are the colours of the lesbian flag and the bi flag, or about how they're the og cottagecore lesbians, or about how there's a scene in the movie where the two of them literally float away from their "love interests" on a rainbow, and they're all 100% right.

But while the sheer amount of gayness these two have is great, I still think this isn't the best part of their relationship. The best part, I think, is just how devoted they are to each other.

Like, we know they regularly write songs about how happy they are together, and both of them consider their relationship to be the best part of their lives. They take care of each other in a way that is so casual but still so meaningful, and you can tell it comes from a place of real love. When they get the chance to make a wish, they don't even have to think before wishing to be together forever. And throughout the movie, we see them risk their lives and rethink their values for the sake of keeping the other one happy and safe.

They're not just my favorite barbie ship, they're one of my favorite ships of all time, and they totally deserve all of the praise they get.

[boldlyvoid]

Intro to Criminal Minds: Why They Did It

Criminal Minds x MINDHUNTER AU

Spencer Reid x Margaret Carr (OC)

Part 1: Ed Kemper.

Summary: Spencer is teaching a 7-week seminar on the most interesting criminal cases, explaining their actions to understand why they took place. Only, not everyone in the audience is a student.

warnings: graphic details of a real rape and murder case, like every trigger in the book, applies to this fic so read with caution (if you watch either show you're used to it, however), it's all real and did actually happen and I don't support any of it. strangers to lovers, mutual pining, flirting, fluff, eventual smut, idiots in love, OC is Wendy Carr's daughter, her bio father is Jason Gideon

word count: 3.9K

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't having fun teaching.

He started with guest speaking, moving to special seminars a few times a year. But he wanted something more, settling for a 7-week criminal justice elective of his choosing.

Intro to Criminal Minds: why they did it. Giving Spencer an excuse to share the most intimate facts about serial offenders in a setting where no one could tell him to shut up.

14 students total signed up for the two-hour Seminar, taking place every Thursday at 11 am from September until Halloween. Over the 7 weeks, he would explain the fascinating insights of the most successful killers in the United States. Only asking that his students write about a prolific crime they find interesting by the end of term, for their full grade.

All he wanted was to read about obscure killers from around the world, from the perspective of aspiring profilers.

The first Thursday, he came prepared with his coffee a half hour before the class. He wanted to write the main points on the whiteboard in advance, nice and neatly.

To his surprise, a student was already there waiting for him. "Oh, hello,” he smiled softly.

She was sitting with a book in her hands, she pushed her glasses up her nose to look at him as he walked in. She was older than his typical student, around 35. Probably finishing up a degree or adding something to what she already had.

"Hi," she smiled at him. “Sorry, I’m early, I was visiting my mom at Quantico earlier.” She explained. "I'm not a teacher's pet or anything. Promise, I’m not even a student.”

It made him laugh slightly, correcting him like she read his mind. "It's okay, I'm Doctor Reid," he introduced himself softly.

“Margaret Carr, Peggy is also fine.”

"Pleasure to meet you," he said quickly before focusing his attention on the whiteboard.

He could feel her eyes on him the whole time he wrote, not wanting to turn around and catch her. "That's so interesting," he heard her mumble under her breath.

"Hmm?" He turned around.

"It's just that, everyday occurrences that never phase the regular person somehow cause psychopaths to kill," she read the board back to him.

"I was reading a study a while back about how psycho killers medulla oblongata is approximately 19% smaller than the average human’s. Based on the way they're nurtured as children affects if they grow up to kill. The ones that don't often end up in law enforcement and other positions of power where their psychopathic tendencies can come to play."

He was taken aback for a moment. He had never experienced a student who was like him before. Someone who just pulled facts into conversations like it was nothing.

"I read that as well," he smiled. "It is fascinating. The smallest amount of bullying and abuse from a mother or disappearance of a father figure can set them off."

"Or, on the other hand, there are people like Ted Bundy," she added. "He was well-loved and taken care of, but it went to his head. His god complex and affinity for lying led him to be incredibly charismatic and enabled his killing."

"You're very educated on this already; are you just interested in hearing me speak today?" He asked, not wanting her to leave, finding it interesting that she was there.

"Oh," she blushed. "I was going to talk to you more about it after the seminar actually."

“Okay, I’ll be waiting for you,” he felt a little giddy at the prospect.

"Thanks," she laughed. "Seriously though, I'm a big fan of your teaching style, I saw a few of your classes when my dad was teaching at the academy in 2005. It's a lot easier to remember facts if the lecturer genuinely loves what they're talking about."

"You're going to like this Seminar then. It’s basically just a way for me to get paid while unloading all the random facts I have,” he warned her with a smile.

"I know." She smiled back at him.

The rest of his students filed in slowly. By 11 am, 14 faces were staring back at him.

"Hello," he waved awkwardly. "I'm dr. Spencer Reid. For the last 12 years, I've worked with the FBI's Behavioural Analysis Unit. Catching serial offenders across the country."

He took a deep breath, letting the nerves find their way out of him. "I've been asked time and time again who my favourite serial killer is, which is a peculiar way to phrase the question. It feels morally wrong to have a favourite in the way people do with baseball players.

"I am, however, fascinated with several serial offenders' reasoning and explanation for why they did what they did. Every single killer is different, but it all comes back to 1 thing. Do you know what that is?"

They all shook their heads. “What is your relationship with your parents like?" He asked. 

Everyone in the room reacted; some students sighed, some rolled their eyes as they recalled their parents and childhoods to memory.

"When a person decides to kill, it's often never in the moment. It's in childhood. The majority of serial offender's stories start the same; their mother didn't love them, their father left. Someone at home abused them or put them down repeatedly."

"Thus, causing a hatred so primal to bubble. No matter how hard they try and fight it, the bubble always bursts. They go from fantasizing to killing in retaliation for their abuse, taking the anger out in stages."

He referred to the board. "Every killer has a stressor and a trigger—something that causes the urge to bubble and the event that causes the bubble to rupture.”

"Edmund Kemper is a fascinating example of this. He grew up with a family for the first few years of his life before his father fully abandoned them. His mother handled the situation by turning her anger onto her son; it was his fault his father left, he looked just like him, Ed was just another useless man who would never amount to anything," he emphasized the words. Hoping the class sees the effects words have on children.

"He started by cutting up dolls, stealing his sister's barbies and cutting their heads off. In his mind, he was getting out his anger and hatred for how his mother saw him. She hated men, causing him to mature with a warped idea of what women are truly like."

"His attraction to killing worsened his mother's hatred; she could tell something was wrong with him, that he didn't react to everyday situations the way he should. By the time he was ten, she was locking him in the basement for days on end, telling him he was a monster and her biggest regret."

"The change in her rage amplified his own. He hated hearing her speak. He hated the way she walked around, thinking she was better than him. That just because she was a mother and a working woman, she deserved respect and submissive’s. All he could see was a woman with a big head who needed to be humbled. This is the moment when the psychotic side of his brain blended his hatred of his mother with how good it felt to kill."

"Is that why he, you know?" Peggy cut in, running her finger along her neck as she pretended to cut her head off.

He pressed his lips together in an awkward smile, nodding. "His signature, as it's called, was decapitation. But more specifically necrophiling the severed head of his victims."

The whole class let out a disgusted noise, Peggy and Spencer making eye contact while they shrugged, it wasn't news to them.

"At age ten, he moved from barbies to cats and dogs, never leaving them around for his mother to see. While he hated her, he was also absolutely terrified of her. Breading a special type of killer. When you think of school shooters or preferential predators, what do they have in common?" He asked.

He pointed at a student in the back. "They have a specific type of victim they’re after?"

"Exactly. Most serial offenders want to go after the cause of their pain or attraction. However, Ed wasn't able to kill the source of his rage for a long time. His mother mentally abused him so intensely that he believed she was in control of him and that her opinion of him mattered. He saw her as his God, he loved her, but he also knew that he disappointed her.

"He ran away soon after to find his father. Travelling to California, only to be told he was unwanted there as well. It wasn't just his mother that his father was escaping; it was the fundamental aspect of family that he didn't want. Ed defiantly didn't want to go back to his mother after that, so he moved in with his paternal grandparents."

He kept catching the looks on Peggy's face. She knew the story already, waiting patiently to hear the words he chose to make the horrific acts seem a little more conversational.

"His grandmother was exactly like his mother. If I had to guess, his father most likely had a distaste for his own mother and thus divorced Ed's mom. Only he never grew up to be a killer, just an absent father—his absence doing to Ed what never happened to him."

"Ed killed his grandparents when he was 15. Telling the police and his therapists that they had beaten him constantly, they refused to feed him and called him names. He said he snapped from the trauma; it was self-defence."

Peggy laughed to herself, making him smile softly. "Sending him to a mental hospital instead of a juvenile facility was the worst thing they could've done for him," Spencer added.

"Why?" A student asked.

"Ed is a psychopath." He reminded them. "He doesn't feel empathy the way we do. You can admit that you feel bad for him, yes? If you understand why he killed people, it doesn't make you sick, like him, it makes you human. You see a hurt person hurting others; Ed Kemper sees himself as a new sort of God, choosing who dies, how and when."

"He was brilliant, having the exact IQ as I do," just a humblebrag, "the staff trusted him. He looked like an innocent boy, smart enough to take matters into his own hands for the betterment of his life. They gave him computer privileges, they let him work the front desk and file patient information. Giving him all the resources to learn about who he was inside and how to get away with it perfectly."

"Damn," another kid added. "When did he get out?"

"At 21.” He answered the student quickly. “Ed was interviewed by my mentor Jason Gideon, in the 70s. Where he explained that being locked up during his sexual prime, as well as the access to information, is what truly set him off more than his mother.

"He moved back in with her and his sister when he came out of the institution, immediately returning to the constant ridicule. He went from being told all the time that he was a smart and charming young man, capable of rehabilitation to a useless, no-good son, who would have been better off collecting in a condom or running down her leg."

The whole class laughed, shocked at his repetition of Ed's mother's words.

"He got his licence when he was released. And remember, this was prime time for hitchhiking in California; everyone and their mother walked the roads with a thumb in the air. It was the birth of free love and recreational marijuana usage. It was also the best hunting ground for a learning serial killer."

"He was able to pick women up, but like I said, missing his sexual prime while in an institution made him almost impotent. He didn't know how to speak to women; he had to create a fantasy in his mind every time, one that involved killing, before he could look at a woman."

"How did he get them in his car then?" A voice asked from the back.

"He was 6'9, 300lbs; he looked like a big teddy bear. And his mother was the local college administrative assistant, so the whole town knew him anyway. If Ed offered to give them a ride, it wouldn't be that bad, right?" Peggy turned around to face the class as she explained for Spencer, who just shook his head.

"He only wanted to rape the victims, originally," Spencer added. "But he couldn't. There was no release of the tension. The bubble that had been growing inside him was at its breaking point; he needed to just do it. Get it over with and move on."

"He killed 6 women in succession after that. Gaining the name "The Co-Ed Killer," well before anyone even suspected Ed Kemper," Spencer took a sip of coffee, feeling his throat start to dry as they reached the insane part.

"He was overly friendly with the cops; he wanted to get his record expunged and join the force.” Spencer finally continued. “Being told, "don't worry about your record, worry about your weight.""

"Most killers enjoy wearing a uniform for the power and talking to the police about their cases, in the hopes of gauging how smart they really are—taking pride in the fact that they are getting away with it for so long."

"He watched all the cop shows, and he read all the books. He knew that in order to get away with it, he had to do it where no one could trace it back to him. He knew he had to keep his cool and avoid looking obsessed with the case, but just curious enough to gain insight into how they thought he was doing it. It went on for years, and they had absolutely zero leads, finding headless bodies every few months before they finally received a call." He left them hanging, walking over to his sheet of paper and pretending to read it while they anticipated the catch.

"Ed always knew that he wanted to kill his mother. He just never knew when,” Spencer teased the story along. Noticing as the students fidgeted in their seats as they wondered what happened next.

“In his interview with Gideon, Ed said that he knew she would die 7 days before he killed her. He walked into her room that night to find her reading, with the audacity to ask if he wanted to come in and chat all night. Teasing him for the way he rambled to her. It was the last time she ever did that."

"It's hard to imagine his signature with the fact his second last victim was his mother," Peggy added, cringing at the thought.

"Wait," another student interjected. "Who was his last kill then if he only really wanted to kill her?"

"Remember how I said he lacked empathy?" Spencer asked. "He loved his mother in the same way a prisoner can end up loving their captor."

Peggy nods at the comparison, looking like she's never thought of it that way before, then smiling at him.

"You grow a bond through the trauma and when the only thing you've ever known is violence and hate, you don't know what to do when that's gone, it's hard to cope."

"He said he killed his mother so that she never had to know what he did. She'd never have to sit at his court hearings or be able to tell the media that she always knew he was a killer."

"His last kill was his mother's best friend," He finally answered the question.

"He didn't want his mother to be even more disappointed in him, but he also didn't want his mother's best friend to find her like that and be upset. So the obvious answer to him was to kill her too."

"What the fuck?" He heard a couple of kids say under their breath.

"Yeah," he agreed with an almost chuckle. "This is what I mean by their answers are fascinating. It makes so much sense to them; clearly, if I kill my mother, her friend will be upset, so the best answer would be to put her out of her misery as well. He sees them as objects, like a matching set. One would lose value without the other."

Everyone was silent then. The students took in all the information they had just received, staring up at him with a look of disgust mixed with wonder.

"Any questions?"

Peggy raised her hand for a change; he pointed towards her in approval. "You missed the part where he specifically took the heads from the three women before his mother and brought them back home with him. He buried them in the yard outside her bedroom window, making sure they were always looking up to her."

Spencer was amazed that she knew the details. "Yes, I guess I did."

"I always found that part particularly interesting in this case," Peggy added. "Her opinion mattered so much to him. He knew how much she loved her co-ed's and how they looked up to her so much. They'd be exactly like her. He felt trapped in a town of women who were exactly like his nightmare, and his response was to make them physically look up to her for the rest of her life."

"Exactly." Spencer smiled. "understanding how he sees the situation and how the events played out in his mind is the key in figuring out who he is."

"If you were on the case in '72 when the first victims were discovered, how would you have handled it, Dr. Reid?" A male student in the back asked in the silence between answers, taking his shot before Peggy and Spencer went any further in their discussion.

“That's a hard thing to answer, connecting evidence back then was a lot harder than it is today, if it wasn’t for men like Ed there wouldn’t really be this many answers,” Spencer said honestly.

Another student put her hand up, “what’s the worst thing he did in your opinion?”

That racked his brain, there was a handful of horrific things he did that were particularly horrific, “probably his mother's entire murder.”

“What did he do?”

Before Spencer could answer he saw Peggy open her mouth and start explaining. “He not only cut off her head and fucked her neck, but he also took her vocal cords out and shoved them down the garbage disposal. And before he called the cops, he cleaned everything up and made her look presentable because he said his mother wouldn’t want guests to see the mess.”

The class all cringed, sinking into their seats with disgust. But that didn’t stop Peggy from explaining it all further.

“He used to go to a bar all the cops went to and he would talk about his case. They would always one-up themselves and say they were close which gave him this false idea that they were on his tail and they’d find his mother soon. But when they didn’t, he called it in from a payphone and said he’d come over and explain it all. And boy did he ever, the cops said he wouldn’t shut up. And then when they put him in the cop car finally, a woman walked past him and he threw up.”

Spencer watched her with awe, the way she could call information to memory like that was beautiful. He listened to her like he’s never heard a fact before, she was so intriguing.

“Thank you for the detail,” he teased her lightly. “Sometimes I get so caught up that the really gross parts get swept aside.”

The class smiled at him, he had gained their trust and attention within only 1 hour of class.

“I know you said you don’t have a favourite,” another student asked from the back. “I agree it’s weird, but who is the one you gravitate towards the most?”

“I’ve met hundreds of serial killers, I’ve read about thousands,” he explained. “I think Ed Kemper is the one I gravitate the most around because he was so willing and open to explaining why he is the way he is. Going as far as to say that the only way they could keep women safe is to give him a lobotomy. He didn’t believe there was any correcting to be done, only removal of the evil within him.”

He heard slight mumbles as everyone took in what he said. “Does anyone here have a killer or a case that interested them in learning more, or just introduced you to the chase of justice?”

Peggy put her hand up, “I personally think BTK is the scariest, most tactical, and just downright evil man to ever exist. He scares me to no end but he’s so interesting to learn about.”

“Ahh,” Spencer agreed. “Too bad you won't be here for week 3. But with that I think I’ll end the class, next week we’ll be discussing the difference between Ted Bundy and Richard Speck.” He nodded lightly, watching the majority of them close their books and had on out.

“I really enjoyed the class,” she said softly. Holding her purse in one hand, a collection of files in the other.

Spencer turned to look at her then, smiling right back. “It was a pleasure to teach alongside you.”

“What do you mean?” She teased, “it’s not like my mom and dad were the ones who did all the interviews."

“Carr,” he repeats her last name. The gears turning in his mind as he brings all the information forth.

“Your mother is Wendy Carr, she was recruited after the BTK case with Bill Tench, she’s who was behind that study you mentioned.”

“I know,” she smiled.

“Who’s your father?”

“Guess,” she looked at him with an unimpressed look on her face, pushing her glasses up slightly.

“You’re kidding? Gideon never said he had a daughter let alone a,” he stops himself before he can embarrass himself any further.

She smiled at the implication of his words, “but he’s told me all about you Dr. Reid, that’s why I'm here.”

“You need help with a case and I’m the only agent in Virginia currently,” he pressed his lips together awkwardly. Knowing it was too good to be true that she would have any interest in him in the slightest.

“No actually, I have a case I’ve been working on privately and I need some help. I asked my dad but he said you’d be able to help me the best. I agree,” she corrected him softly. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I was a big fan of yours. When I would sit in and watch his lectures, before he knew I was his kid, you would always step in at the best parts, adding the smallest details to the story that the average person would forget. It’s magnificent.”

He laughed slightly, tugging at his collar as she complimented him. “Thank you, you’re quite magnificent as well,” he replied with a blush and a smile

She didn’t look like Gideon, probably because she smiled so much. Like sunshine on legs, she beamed, all but blinding him with her smile as she stared at him, “do you want to get lunch and go over this case with me?”

“I’d love to.”

taglist: (message me if you want to be added or removed)

@shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor @blanchardsbk

[junicai]

Relationship with WAYV

➣ KUN ☾ karia

if it wasn’t for dotae potentially coming to kill him, he would steal aria into wayv

he’s the cool dad? 

they can’t spend a lot of time together because none of their schedules match up, but aria takes every third or so weekend out to come have dinner in the wayv dorms

she’s surprisingly close to the china line, and its a combination of ten dragging her to his dorm for an entire month and them just kinda adopting her when they realized she was a foreigner as well 

yuta can fight them, she’s one of them now

he doesn’t like to baby her a lot, and she really appreciates the break from being the “maknae” so to speak 

however does that stop him from giving her the forehead kithes? no

aria sad? forehead kith

aria mad? forehead kith

aria smad? forehead kith + kuddles (kun cuddles)

he has sent her a passive agressive text when he found out that she wasn’t eating enough again and had almost passed out

but he finished it with a heart so its ok

if she isn’t smiling at all times, someone will die

aria feels like she can trust him with a lot; that no matter what she tells him, he’ll never out her or make fun of her

kun actually took a two-week online course to learn how to make traditional japanese dishes when aria mentioned missing her parents

he originally was going to learn how to make irish dishes, but he changed his mind after seeing what they were

“im not giving my kids boiled cabbage and mashed potatoes what kind of post world war-”

wants to give her a chinese name but hasn’t yet because he hasn’t found the one that fits her right and he wants it to be perfect 

aria teaches him japanese phrases in exchange for him teaching her a little bit of mandarin

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

aria saw kun’s back as she entered the practice room, the man standing with three other members in the centre of the floor before the choreographer came in to start their practice. coming up behind him, she wrapped her arms around his waist, peeking her head around from where she was. “hi!” she smiled brightly.

“hi,” ten chuckled, showing her the camera that had just filmed all of that. 

➣ TEN ☾ tenaria

Whipped(TM)

so so gone for her its upsetting actually

yangyang and aria share the position of his baby 

except aria willingly accepts the title while yangyang would rather fling himself from a rooftop

ten’s instagram is half his cats, half miyazu aria

he posts her dancing practice on his story a lot, with a variety of captions ranging from “thats my baby  ♡( ◡‿◡ )” to “yah that’s not right...(눈_눈)”

such an enabler for her bad ideas 

aria wants to go shopping at 4am? ten agrees, now they’re sitting by han river eating ice cream

pls he’s gonna get her in so much trouble one day

when they walk together, ten likes to take her hand and put it in his pocket 

its under the pretense of not wanting her to get lost 

he just wants to hold her hand

yes he has lost her in a shopping mall, and NO it wasn’t his fault

ten always complains that they never have schedules together and he misses his baby 

“we have superm-” “I NEVER SEE YOUUUU (ﾉಥ益ಥ)ﾉ”

if they’re in the same room ten is either watching her out of the corner of his eye, or is actually wrapped around her like a boa constrictor 

hugs n kithes all around

only he is allowed make fun of her mistakes in dancing 

anyone else gets deaded. he will fight for her honor how dare you insult his baby 

sm give these ttwo a dancing duo video pls 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

the first and only time aria and ten had a duet was during their last concert on superm’s first world tour. during the second half of ten’s solo performance, aria emerged from the left side of the stage, coming to join him in the centre stage. no one had ever seen aria as serious as she was then, both herself and ten becoming completely different people in the moment. midway through, aria spun with her back to ten and leaped backwards into the air - eyes closed - completely trusting ten to be where she needed him to be to catch her. 

➣ WINWIN ☾ winria

a love hate relationship at its finest

they don’t actually hate each other it’s just really funny to pretend that they do (especially because yuta complains that 2 of his favourite people aren’t getting along)

winwin is so savage towards aria but it’s ok she claps back twice as hard

at first, before czennies had seen enough of their dynamic they thought that they actually did hate each other

but that’s not true they just don’t know how to express, affection, without brutally insulting the other with a loving tone

they are, surprisingly, the most stable pairing in 127 - they have a dynamic and rarely stray from that, which is a good comfort for the fans

despite what they might say to each other, they don’t mean any of it - and winwin has been seen several times raising his eyebrows with a questioning look at aria to make sure she wasn’t taking any of his playful jabs to heart

oh god the flexibility

the entirety of nct is terrified of them

the day sm gives them a circus act is the day that kun and taeyong have a heart attack

quietly supportive of each other - catch aria “playing” with a water bottle and not getting up to get it when it conveniently rolls across the floor and into winwin’s leg

he makes sure to save some new chinese sweets whenever the wayv members get packages from their familes, and sneak it into aria’s room before the managers can catch her breaking her diet

not really physically affectionate with each other, which played into czennies idea that they didn’t like each other but aria cleared it up in a vlive

“winwinnie and I, well. we don’t hug a lot because i know he doesn’t like it as much as i might, so i try to show him i care with other things :)”

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

winwin and aria going in to each other on knowing brothers, to the point where the mc’s had their eyes popping out of their head and waved about to stop the segment before aria could start attacking winwin’s cooking methods-

nothing is off limits when it comes to them

➣ LUCAS ☾ arihei

besties 

please they’re so cute together - tol child next to tini child she barely comes up to his chest :(

bear hugs

he just swamps her in his arms, and when he doesn’t feel like being bent over he picks her up 

complains that she’s too heavy but then immediately after will throw her around like a softball 

someone tell this man to be careful with her she’s not a barbie doll 

singular braincell energy

don’t get it wrong, they’re both super smart 

so it’s just - being smort together, but then nearly dying because neither of them remembered that you couldn’t eat raw cookie dough when there are eggs in it

she adores how he’s so confident in the things that he does - like convincing the entire nct fandom that he was fluent in english? king behaviour

so aria looks up to him (literally) but also because she wants to have that confidence some day 

lucas says they’re not close and then aria pouts and he takes it all back

nczennies made a 14 minute compilation titled “lucas melting like a popsicle in australia for aria” 

and literally what the title tells you, this man goes :(( when he sees her 

lucas was actually the person to convince her to go ahead with the [redacted] proposal - and reminded her that it was too good an opportunity to pass up just because she felt like she was outgrowing the boys

he’s so proud of her

and she’s so proud of him 

they’re so proud of each other and it makes nczennies want to cry because they never are seen together 

sm stop separating the platonic soulmates first markhyuck and now arihei smh

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

during a photoshoot, aria was standing off to the side of the boys, dressed in white suit to contrast the boys’ black ones. the photographer was calling out to her to get her to move closer, but she couldn’t hear him from so far away, and so lucas (who was on the end) just walked over to her, gripped her by the biceps and lifted her vertically and to the left a little bit. 

“luc-LUCAS?”

“you had to move :)”

➣ XIAOJUN ☾ arijun

honestly these two aren’t super close, just because their schedules never matched up until the NCT 2020 promotions

even when aria was dragged to the wayv dorms, xiaojun kept his distance from her because he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable 

even so, when they were filming Make A Wish together, they seemed comfortable enough around each other

there was a mutual agreement to not try fill the silence with awkward small talk, so they sat in silence when left alone together

they’re both shy :( someone needs to get them to talk to each other :(

even so, aria was all supportive smiles and thumbs-up when she saw him getting nervous before their first public stage as the unit 

he was a little intimidated of her at first, but also really curious about how she was holding her own against the other members

not only physically, but her vibes are tiny let the man be concerned ok

his first impression of aria was just: small quiet? she was sitting apart from the other boys in the practice room, and he almost wanted to go over and ask her if she was ok; before she was approached by donghyuck and her face broke into a bright smile 

aria’s first impression of xiaojun was: eyebrows he was really handsome? at first, she thought he was in the wrong room, seeing as the SM modeling auditions were happening in the next room down

any arijun shippers are starved of content im so sorry guys 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

currently still up for debate between the fandom :(

➣ HENDERY ☾ aridery

ah these two 

you might as well sign a waiver if you decide to do anything with them, because they can and will get you killed 

kun can testify

ten’s the enabler but hendery is the do-er

super giggly around each other, for no reason at all

hendery could pick up and throw a basketball and suddenly aria’s on the floor in literal stitches 

have a secret code 

no seriously

they don’t text in words, they just send various reaction memes and a colourful variety of emojis to convey emotions and scenarios 

it’s become quite a beautiful language actually 

got some nice proverbs in there

they’re like, cousins but the ones you only see at family reunions but get so hype to see them

that energy 

asides from the chaotic, murderous vibes they possess as a duo

hendery knows what it’s like to miss home, to miss your parents, etc etc

and so he tries to make aria feel as home as possible - especially with wayv, because they’re all foreigners who know how she feels 

whenever he gets packages from his parents who have sent things over, he always makes sure to keep some of the small treats/sweets back for aria

1. because he knows she’ll appreciate the thought and she gives good hugs

2. because he knows she’s on a diet constantly and never allowed eat these things when she’s in the dorms with managers around 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

filming the Resonance “Wish” event, aria was put in a skimpy minimalistic mock-suit to differentiate from the others’ clothes. unfortunately, that left aria with a little too much shoulder and chest on display than she would like, and she was noticeably uncomfortable with her clothes, constantly pulling it up and even going so far as to just hold it with her hands. 

hendery saw this, and knew he was finished filming his segment for the time being, so he pulled off his own jacket and tossed it over to aria, who caught it with a grateful smile. “thank you,” she mouthed to him, tugging the dark blue material over her shoulders.

➣ YANGYANG ☾ ariyang

aria. has 9 days of age on this boy and will never let him forget it

“respect your elders you brat” “9. DAYS.”

european pals 

they feel so cultured when they get asked about europe, and then are kindly reminded by hendery that A. Germany started 2 world wars, and B. Ireland was just a British colony until 100 years ago. 

they both hit him for that

aria teaching him curse words in irish and yangyang teaching her curse words in german? more likely than you’d think 

they met before yangyang’s debut was announced, in a practice room that had let them accidentally overlap their practice times 

instead of working it out between them, they actually just started to alternate their songs - and the other gave them some good, constructive criticism 

most of the time

when they found out they were going to be in 90s Love together, they were so happy 

it was going to be their first official schedule together

all the behind-the-scenes videos are just aria and yangyang being children and then ten coming over and cooing at them 

they love ten, but they will trash talk the man behind his back 

yangyang confessed to her that he sometimes feels nervous when speaking korean, like he’s going to make a big mistake

so she tries her best to teach and correct him where she can, and make him as comfortable as possible 

if you look at any of the 90s Love promotions - aria is always beside yangyang

he bit her ear once

she doesn’t know why and he won’t tell her

but now when she makes fun of him, he threatens to do it again 

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT. 

aria skating onto the rink during filming, and yangyang following her because she promised to teach him how to skate backwards.

“ok just, think like you’re leading with your heels. press your knees in, and push outwards, with you-no no that’s forwards. go backwards yangyang.”

“no no no thats a WALL YANGYANG STOP-” 

[underestimated-heroine]

Fifth General Reference Post!

(sorry if I reblog, it's only to keep from losing this to the sands of time! Also anyone's free to reblog or save this as is the mode on Tumblr Dot Com. Links go to my blog because it's the best, easy way I have to make sure I don't lose posts to deletion.)

Crepegate 2 (w/o my addition)

The Totally Unaltered Great Gatsby

YOU MONOLINGUAL FUCK!!!! tiktok

Overall note counter

Applebee's Executive Email "higher gas prices-->lower wages"

Bread XBox Guy

Writing deaf, mute, or blind characters

What if Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis never switched back

Straight people could always change their names so what about trans people

Reddit Cosplay Revenge Couple

What Conservatives Mean When They Say "we must protect our children

Will Smith Slap things are treated as a spectacle

Triangle Shirtwaist Factory

IT workers use old shit for a reason

Historical timelines are counterintuitive to many of us

Only on this website can you gain the upper hand by pretending to be a dumbass

NCLB post

America caused the Iranian fundamentalist dictatorship

480 BC genetics

Don't preorder videogames

Steampunk Spider

Retail Blonde Moments

Me leaving my friends house with $#* dean naruto

What happened with the old dog sanctuary blog

Pokemon sneasler reaction video

Taika Waititi Maōriness

Lord Foog The 2st

Turbulence Disney Story

Barbie Frankenstein

If you want me to consume the media

Raptorific genuinely worried about socializing skills of people online post

Most moving voice acting of all time video

AO3 asking for more donations 2022

How To Talk to Cops--Education Additions

Sue the Dinosaur

Qualms with Instagram

I'll take a hammer and fix the baby

"solicitating" a minor ask

Tumblr Purges an Incomplete History

Skyrim every save is different

Why Treasure Planet is Amazing

If the Beginning of the Universe had a sound audio

Why Google Searches Started Sucking

One post on writing fight scenes

April 2022 environmental protests LA

Favorite stock image

#you're all just food to me

OFMD old senior dog sanctuary

Just love Pooh's adventures & hate this world

They keep takin my shi down...valid??? Tiktok

"I mean they did also kill Jesus."

Fake Dinosaur King post

New fake stories on this site

Tumblr shadowbanning

Prairie dogs calling researchers manlets

Til hogging all the facts

Artist stole an inch from England's tallest mountain

TikTok girl thought her mother-in-law was a GHOST

Smut post that made someone's water break

Box beds

Oregon trail gun parked car

The Genius of Sun Tzu

A most unwelcome protagonist art wizard

Rosetta Tharpe Godmother of Rock n' Roll

Personal

Sister and the blanket

South Park Episode with Jonas Brothers

ATLA video "yeah it kind of is"

Careful about filtering "radical feminism" and "TERFism"

Ghost Hunting Mag & Metal Grinding Noises

What if Will Smith had slapped Betty White??

Blocklists on Tumblr

Stain and Shigaraki

Child statues

Bakugou's nicknames for Monoma

This website would suck if some of you got the changes you wanted

My favorite contagious laugh Compilation (vid)

Relike posts on my mutual's rb

Goals

"The Wedding Games" old Tumblr post

Snapchat everything reminds me of her

"Karen"

The dog case on judge Judy

Humans and spicy food

27 Dresses

Did you do the homework last night

Diamond

What counts as traumatic

Writers should try not to be bigots.

Can't afford a convertible

Fandom antis anti-antis...ahhh

Ex Boulevard of Broken Dreams Story

White celebrities "reactions" to Will Smith's slap

What the last unicorn had to face

Anything Hopkins

QUARIFIED

How do I break this to transphobes

Bellybutton reddit horror story

Freaky Friday Post Jamie Lee Curtis and Band Boy Singing Baby One More Time

[c-c-cherry]

Our local mafia dads meeting their childrens’ parents!!

Okay, I’ve gotten A LOT of asks about Bruno + Abba meeting Dio and I’ve also gotten an ask or two about them meeting the gang’s parents so they all kind of correlate together so I decided to make one post about it!

For the sake of Polnareff’s sanity, I have to keep all the crusaders alive or else things will end up messy hehehe

*someone asked for Diego but like,,,I haven’t read that much of SBR yet so I don’t think I can do it solely because of lack of character knowledge. I'm sorry anon :(*

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I got a shit ton of asks specificically for a post like this so I hope y’all enjoy <3:

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Giorno

Our boy Giogio has a very complicated family tree, but let's just start with the elephant in the room. Or should I say, the literal fucking vampire.

-Dio would be...interesting, for sure. But he wouldn’t exactly look out of place in their household, considering they’re all wearing ridiculous outfits. 

-Depending on how Dio actually acts, Bucciarati would probably invite him in for tea and Abba would sit there silently admiring his green lipstick which he’s 99% sure he saw at Sephora earlier

-You know how fucking extra the man is. The moment he sees Giorno this man literally bursts into dramatic tears with mascara rolling down his face and everything and Giorno is just like “????”

-They would have never guessed that Gio and Dio were related by personality alone. They contradict each other so much its almost funny

-They DO know where our boy got his sense of style from, though,,,and that fucking hair,, :’)

-Even if Dio is absolutely fucking pretty feral, I could see all of them having a pretty civil conversation about everything

-If Giorno wanted to go live with him, he was free to, (but he doesn’t have to)

-Dio learns about Giorno’s previous home life and it takes like 6 people to hold him down for him to not go and march down to his old house to commit vampire crimes

-Dio is scared of shit like tvs and the microwaves and they pay no mind to how weird he is and don’t pick up on the fact that he’s a vampire at all

-Until Polnareff emerges from the turtle, takes one look and him and GOES FUCKING OFF-

-Dio Brando is no longer welcome in the Bucci household

-Though he can see Giorno on weekends if he’s good :3

-Abbacchio can and will sneak out to go shopping with him because Dio always manages to have way too much fucking money and no one knows where it comes from

-Once Bruno finds out, (which he does from the empty Versace and Louis Vuitton bags stashed under his bed) the fun is over >:(

Giorno’s mama and step-dad...yeesh...

-you’ve seen how I made them react to those two if you read The Storm a few months back, and I still stand to the fact that if Giorno didn’t talk about his parents, they would just assume that he just had a weird relationship with them and didn’t want to talk about it

-Once they find everything out, though…*cracks knuckles*

-Bucciarati is the type of person to pick his battles. Would he have tea with Giorno’s mother just to learn her weaknesses and then slowly deteriorate her? Would he civilly promise Giorno’s step-father money only for an assassination team to show up at his door once he gives Bruno his address?

-Yes.

-Abba will go straight for the kill once he’s pissed. Don’t tell me otherwise. Man is ready to throw hands at all times and he’s not afraid to beat the shit out of some shitty middle-aged people

Narancia

Narancia’s mom, like any other sweet mama, would probably sit down to lunch with Bruno and thank him for looking after her son :)

-It would be sweet, very nice and wholesome

-Like literally if the two of them ever met they would probably just sit down together and talk about Narancia and that’s literally it

-Abba claims that he “doesn't pick favourites” (because all the fucking gremlins drive him crazy) but he secretly does favour Nara over any of the other kids

-Knowing everything Nara’s gone through, he would only treat Mela with respect if he ever had the chance to meet her

His dad on the other hand...

-Bruno wants absolutely nothing to do with the man

-He knows that it isn’t entirely his fault for everything that happened with Narancia throughout his childhood, but he wasn’t there when he should have been

-People that simply don’t care to the point of neglect absolutely infuriate Abbacchio because he was like that once too and he’s seen the damage that it does firsthand

-Abba knows if he ever ran into the guy, there’d be hell to pay

-But that’s how he feels about most of his “kids’” parents (considering most of them are absolute assholes)

Trish

-I feel like how they would react to her father is pretty self-explanatory,,,

-but Oh MY GOD Donatella Una and Bucciarati going on shopping sprees together? Being fucking bougie as shit together??? Can I say gucci and mineral water dream team????

-I can bring her back to life if I want to >:(

-She’s the kind of person who’s really great to go out with—like to bars, clubs, restaurants, etc,,,and is willing to do absolutely anything as long as she gets the social rush

-Trish is pretty quiet but her mama’s atmosphere is fucking CONTAGIOUS

-Abba and Dona would do each other’s makeup and she’s the kind of lady that shows up at his door with a pile of DVDs and those fucking cucumber face masks

-Also she collects those expensive-ass collector’s edition barbie dolls and Bruno and Abba always give her the latest holiday barbie for Christmas :)))))

Mista

-Honestly, I kinda see Mista’s parents as pretty ordinary people with nothing really defining their personalities

-They both work a lot and were never really around that much, but once Mista went to jail they pretty much just never reconnected with him and don’t really plan to

-Bruno isn’t particularly angry at Mista’s parents; the kid fucked up pretty bad and even Mista knows that he can’t really blame his family for not wanting to reconnect with a murderer

-It would be pretty mutual if he ever met them; probably a dull greeting over lunch and then they would get back to work

-Abbacchio wouldn’t even bother. He has no tolerance for people that don’t want to interact with them (although if Mista really wanted him to meet them he would suck it up and be decent)

-They seem like the kind of stiff people who would freak out if they were talking to a gang member or someone who lives rougher so their interaction wouldn’t exactly be a long one lol

Fugo

-Fugo doesn’t hate his parents

-In his heart, he still really just wants approval from them even after all they did

-I’m not sure how Bruno and Leone would possibly meet them, but if they did, Bucciarati would probably be pretty civil about it

-They wouldn’t want to talk about their son at all, which would make Bruno pretty irritated and Abbacchio infuriated

-When they do talk about him, they just talk about his anger issues and the fact that he failed their family in both the education department and the social aspect and it takes everything in both of them not to flip the fucking table over

-Because obviously his “parents” never spent any time with him or else they would know how intelligent he is and how much he loves playing piano and helping Bucciarati bake bread and how much he cares about everyone around him

-Surprisingly though, Bruno is the one who holds a grudge about it. If they hadn’t put him in college as young as they did, maybe things would have been different and he wouldn’t be working for the Italian mafia >:( (but he still feels more than blessed to have Fugo in his life) :)

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

I have so many posts now that I feel like my headcanons might get lost within my sea of all my other stuff as the time passes,,,I’m thinking of just making a fic/headcanon masterlist and keeping it constantly pinned! (I would link it in my bio but that shit isn’t working no matter how many times I try sjhdkjgfd I hate Tumblr)

If you’ve got an ask, request, or headcanon, hit me up! (I do just enjoy y’alls immaculate vibes, too) <3

[artificialqueens]

Off Limits, Chapter 1 (Bitney, Willaska) - Veronica/Albatross

A/N: Hey guys! This is the companion story to “No Strings Attached.” We’re tagging them both as “Just Friends” so that it’ll be easy to read the chapters in order, but once it gets complicated, I might include a guide. Both ships are in both stories, but generally, “No Strings Attached” is Willaska-focused and this one is Bitney-focused. (Link to all chapters in order, which so far is just 2.)

Summary: When Bianca meets her new roommates, she’s especially captivated by one of them. Worse, the feeling seems to be mutual.

***

Bianca hated being fucking late. It was bad enough that she’d had to drive all the way from New Orleans to California, praying that her 7-year-old Kia wouldn’t break down. But for the last leg of her trip, which should have been 45 minutes, she got caught in an accident on the freeway that turned what should have been a short, pleasant zip up the freeway into a torturous 4-hour crawl.

By the time she reached the dorms, she was fuming--not to mention exhausted. And having to lug her shit from possibly the worst parking spot in the garage did nothing to improve her shitty mood. By the time she’d achieved some semblance of order in her room, she was hot and thirsty and as cranky as she’d ever been.

She chugged about a gallon of water and then collapsed on the sofa, arm over her eyes, trying to summon the energy to think about a shower.

It was then when the front door swung open and a trio of laughing, chattering girls poured inside.

Bianca looked up. At first glance, all she saw was Blonde, Blonde, Blonde. A bunch of perfect, plastic sorority girls, exactly the type of girl she couldn’t stand. (And, if she was honest, exactly the type of girl that she always feared a little bit.) She groaned inwardly, sitting up and giving them a withering glare.

Unable to help herself, she announced, “Great...I’m living with a bunch of bottle blonde bitches.” As the words left her mouth, she realized that she was perhaps not making the best first impression. But instead of taking it back, she doubled down with, “So whose hideous leopard duvet is that?”

The Littlest Blonde burst into delighted giggles, before glancing at the (Bianca assumed) Duvet-Owning Blonde beside her and pressing her lips together contritely.

Slutty Blonde slung an arm around Duvet Blonde and said, “Calm down, bitch. Some of us are garbage pails with hideous taste. We’re still people.”

Bianca pursed her lips, determined to continue hating them all.

With that, Little Blonde skipped forward, flinging herself onto the sofa and offering a bright smile.

“Hi, I’m Courtney. You must be our fourth roommate,” she said.

She had an accent--a cute accent. Shit. Do not let the accent fool you. This Barbie doll bitch isn’t your friend.  

“Wow...what gave that away, detective?” Bianca asked, narrowing her eyes slightly.

“Well…” she leaned in conspiratorially, speaking in a low voice. “It would be a little weird for you to be here, if you weren’t. So...” She finished with a flutter of lashes and another dazzling smile, green eyes dancing with amusement.

Well, fuck. Bianca was not planning to be this charmed, this quickly. The plan was to be grumpy and sulk for awhile. Foiled by a pretty face...not the first time, but still annoying.

“Genius.” Bianca tried to suppress her smile, but dimples poked through anyway.

“I knooow, right?”

Australian. Bianca winced. Surely this was some kind of karmic justice for a terrible deed she’d done as a child. After all, there was no way in hell that Bianca would get involved with one of her roommates. She was many things, but she was not that messy.

“So, are you gonna tell us your name?” Courtney asked.

“Yeah, sorry. Bianca. Hi.”

“Hi, Bianca, nice to meet you.”

God, even the way she said her name was sexy. Bee-aaaahn-cah. Ugh. Bianca was well and truly fucked.

“Hey, I’m Willam,” Slutty Blonde said, perching on the arm of the sofa. “And that’s Alaska...your roommate. You should be nicer to her; she’s cool.”

Duvet Blonde gave a halfhearted wave.

“Hi, Alaska,” Bianca said, slightly chagrined, “I’m sorry...about your lack of taste. We’ll work on it.”

Courtney giggled again, tossing her hair, still watching Bianca closely. And as much as she wanted to look away, to dismiss her as some airhead, she had to admit that something in her eyes was captivating.

“So, Bianca...where are you from?” Courtney asked.

“New Orleans,” Bianca told her.

“Oooh, have you ever been to Mardi Gras?!” she asked, eyes lighting up.

“Uhh. Yeah.”

“Did you bring us any beads?”

“Why not get out your tits and see, Court?” Willam suggested.

Courtney started to lift the edge of her shirt, and Bianca’s eyes went wide--this girl was turning out to be a lot more than she’d bargained for. Courtney glanced at her surprised face and burst out laughing again.

“Just kidding.”

“Good one,” Bianca offered, a little ashamed at the flash of disappointment she felt. Of course she was kidding; Bianca needed a cold shower.  

“So, are you a new student here?” Courtney asked.

“Yeah.” Bianca cleared her throat. “I transferred from LSU.”

“Where’s that?”

“Louisiana...State...University,” Bianca explained slowly, as if she was talking to a child. Her tone was intentionally condescending, but Courtney continued her rapid-fire questions undeterred.

“Ah! Brilliant. And have you-”

“You ask a lot of questions,” Bianca said. She’d never experienced that many questions in a row, and considering her gigantic nosy-ass family, that was saying a lot. If she wasn’t so cute, Bianca would be thoroughly irritated.  

“Sure does,” Willam added with an eye roll.

“Oh yeah. I know. Is it annoying you?” Courtney bit her lip, head tilted cutely.

“That’s another question,” Bianca declared stonily, pretending once again not to be charmed. And doing a piss-poor job of it, if the glimmer in Courtney’s eyes was any indication.

“Hmm, I guess it is,” Courtney said, tone lilting and gently mocking. “Sorry, I’m just trying to get to know you.”

“Maybe I should ask you some questions.”  

“Maybe you should!” Courtney replied brightly. She stretched her legs--long, tan, killer legs--placing them on the coffee table and folding them delicately at the ankles. “What would you like to know?”

Do you moan in an Australian accent?

Bianca coughed, mind blanking for a moment, before admitting with a shrug, “I guess...I’m not very curious.”

“Pity. ‘Cause I’m an open book.”

“Uh. Good to know.” After a beat, Bianca offered, “So. I had kind of a shitty morning.”

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Courtney sat up straighter, the teasing smirk replaced with an expression of genuine concern. “Are you okay?”

“It’s fine, I just...I was actually about to jump in the shower. I’ll probably be in a better mood after that.”

“Well, that’s a relief,” said Willam, and Alaska let out a clipped laugh.

“I deserved that,” Bianca said with a nod and wry smile. “So I guess I’ll go...do that.”

With one last glance at the group, Bianca got up and walked towards her bedroom to get her things.

“What a cunt,” Willam said loudly--loud enough that Bianca knew it was for her benefit. She chuckled to herself.

“Bill!” Courtney scolded, then added, “I like her.”

“Clearly. Why don’t you go make my bed?”

“Make your own bed, dickhead!” Courtney shrieked.

The shower was much needed. Bianca could feel the stress of the day literally rinsing away, muscles relaxing in the steamy water. When she re-entered her bedroom, Alaska was lounging on the bed, flipping through a magazine. She sat down at her desk, pulling over a light-up mirror.

She took her time blow-drying her hair. Even put on some makeup. No reason not to look nice for a relaxing afternoon of getting to know her roommates, right? She pulled on a casual summer dress and sandals and then began to put everything away in its spot...blow dryer in the stackable basket with her curling iron, makeup in the case, brushes in the cup.

She turned around to Alaska, who gave her a smile.

“I like your bins,” Alaska commented, gesturing to Bianca’s compulsively organized and labeled plastic bins, lined up under her bed and stacked on the dresser.

“Thanks. And I like your...uh…” Bianca surveyed the mess on Alaska’s side of the room before settling on the word, “...piles.”

Alaska let out a loud cackle. The most Bianca had seen her laugh yet. She grinned wryly.

“I’m a little bit messy, sorry,” Alaska said.

“It’s cool,” Bianca shrugged. “To each their own.”

“I’ll keep it contained, I swear. And on my side of the room.”

“You fucking better!” Bianca exclaimed, and was rewarded with another laugh from her roommate.

***

Courtney didn’t like to admit it, but she’d had a bit of a lonely summer. She’d decided with her parents that, since she wanted to come home for Christmas again this year, it made more sense for her to stay at school, taking a few classes and working at an internship.

It usually wasn’t hard for Courtney to make friends, but somehow, she hadn’t connected with anyone. Her classmates seemed lovely, and her coworkers were nice enough too, but she missed the late-night gossiping with Willam, the chance to let loose and be silly. The girls she attempted to hang out with over the summer just weren’t the kind of unpredictable fun that Willam was. And her summer roommate was a reclusive Belgian girl who spent all of her time buried in her laptop wearing headphones.

But today, she was thrilled. Willam was finally back, and even better, she had two new fantastically wonderful roommates.

Alaska was great. A little reserved, maybe, but that was alright with Courtney. She had a great sense of humor and a genuinely kind soul that Courtney adored right away. Plus, she seemed to get along really well with Willam, which was a relief. (Courtney loved her BFF, but she knew that getting her seal of approval could be difficult.)

And then there was Bianca. Blunt and a bit abrasive, but Courtney found herself thoroughly enchanted almost immediately, reveling in her sharp wit and acid tongue. Her dark, flashing eyes. She was unlike anyone Courtney had ever met before, truth be told.

As Courtney helped Willam stuff her clothes into the closet and dresser and arrange her shoes and bags under the bed, she sighed happily, grateful to be surrounded by people with whom she could really let down her hair.

It took ages before Willam was satisfied. Well, not so much satisfied as much as resigned to accept the confines of their limited space. She turned to Courtney with a sigh, saying, “Well, it is what it is, I guess.”

Courtney laughed and suggested that they check on the others, skipping happily over to Bianca and Alaska’s open door. She pushed it in further, asking, “How are you ladies doing? Bonding?”

“Oh yeah,” Bianca said, turning around in her desk chair, large curling iron in hand. “Our periods are already in sync.”

Alaska laughed, and Courtney was glad to see that some of her earlier tension had melted away.

“How disgustingly primal,” Willam said, collapsing on the bed next to Alaska, who moved over to give her space.

Courtney settled on the floor nearby. She watched as Bianca carefully styled her hair, admiring the color—a rich, reddish mahogany brown—and wondering how she got it so shiny.

“Is your room bigger than ours?” Willa asked, pulling Courtney out of her thoughts as she looked around suspiciously.

“I don’t know. Is it?” Bianca asked.

“Bill’s pretty pissed about the closet space,” Courtney explained. “I gave her one of my drawers, but…” She shrugged, pulling affectionately on one of Willam’s bare feet, “Some people are just never satisfied.”

“I have an extra drawer, too,” Alaska offered, and Bianca’s eyebrows shot up.

“You sure you don’t want to use that for some of the stuff that’s…” she gestured to the top of Alaska’s dresser.

Looking at their spaces, Courtney could see a clear clash of styles. Bianca’s things were almost obsessively organized, lined up in containers with p-touch labels. Alaska’s side of the room was more haphazard, similar to Courtney’s space.

“Nah, she can have it,” Alaska said with a sweet smile, and Bianca responded by sticking out her tongue briefly.

Courtney giggled, seeing them tease each other, happy that they already seemed to be friends. She relaxed against Alaska’s desk chair, finally content to just let the conversation drift as it were, taking a break from her usual Oprah mode.

“So...not to be a wet blanket on all this delightful female bonding, but...where can a bitch find some decent vegetarian food around here?” Bianca asked, putting away her hairstyling tools and turning around.

“You’re hungry?” Courtney looked up at her.

“No, just thought I’d buy some food and throw it at seagulls. Yes, I’m fucking hungry.”

Through Courtney’s immediate laughter, Willam muttered, “Decent shit is mostly downtown...but edible? There’s the cafeteria next door, the salad bar over by the biology building, food court in the quad, the-”

“No, Bill,” Courtney giggled out with a weak swat at Willam’s leg. “Let’s get something different. Something better.” She decided not to add ‘for Bianca.’

Willam rolled her eyes and huffed out, “Fine then, cunt. Where do you suggest we eat?”

There was a moment’s pause as Courtney pondered over the question before thoughtfully looking up at Bianca, asking, “Do you like burritos?”

“Wow. That’s racist.”

“No, it’s not because you’re--I didn’t mean--it’s just that they’re really good and you said-” Courtney tripped all over herself to explain, flustered, cheeks growing hot. Shit, she hoped she hadn’t been offensive.

After a beat, Bianca burst out laughing.

“I was kidding, calm down. Burritos sound good.”

“Courtney, are you talking about that hole in the wall on Fair Oaks? We’ll have to take a car.”

“It’s good, and they have tons of veggie options, and you love driving,” Courtney insisted. “Plus, everything on campus will be chockers right now.”

“‘Chockers’?!” Willam repeated. “That’s so Aussie!”

“Packed, full, whatever, you know I’m right.”

“Ugh. Alright,” Willam groaned, then asked, “Alaska? You in?”

“Uh, I’m not really all that hungry,” Alaska said. “You guys should go.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I’m getting a little bit of a headache.”

“Oh no!” Courtney leapt to her feet. “Do you need something? I have magnesium supplements. Or, vitamin b-complex. That’s great for headaches!”

“Or, if you want something that actually works, I got Tylenol and Advil…” Bianca gestured to one of her boxes.

“I’ve got Vicodin,” Willam added. “And weed.”

“Thanks guys, but I think I just need to lay down for awhile.”

“Okay, we’ll leave you alone. Let us know if you want us to bring you back any food,” Courtney offered.

“Thanks.”

As the group trooped out of the room, Bianca grabbed her purse and then slung an arm around Courtney’s shoulder, asking, “Magnesium supplements?”

“My dad’s a doctor of alternative medicine,” Courtney giggled.

“Well, that tracks…”

***

By the time they perched on the rickety stools at the burrito place, Bianca was beyond starving. She dug into her food with a passion as Courtney resumed her questioning from earlier.

“Sooo,” she began, drawing out the word in that infuriatingly adorable Australian way, “You said that you transferred from Louisiana, right? What brings you out here?”

“Well, I’m majoring in marketing and international relations, and they have this scholarship that combines-”

“You’re an Ashford Scholar?!” Courtney exclaimed, eyes widening dramatically.

Bianca couldn’t help be a bit pleased with herself, happy that the prestigious scholarship was known even beyond the business school. Courtney was clearly impressed, and so she gave a small shrug of faux modesty.

“That’s amazing, that’s really...you know only 1 person a year gets that, right?” Courtney asked.

Bianca nodded and swallowed, then said, “Can’t wait to meet last year’s bitch. I assume they’re extraordinary too.”

Courtney giggled, resting her cheek on her hand. “So I guess that means you’re gonna have a lot of work to do. I heard those Ashford internships are seriously intense.”

“I’ll manage…”

Though her answer sounded nonchalant, she was enjoying Courtney’s obvious respect for her accomplishment. Her eyes practically glimmered in admiration.

“What about you, dollface?” Bianca asked. “What’s your major? Psychology?”

“No...although actually I did consider that!” Courtney said.

“Shocking.”

Courtney giggled, crunching down on a chip and saying, “I’m doing PoliSci.”

“Oh, cool.”

“Yeah…” she leaned in and stage whispered, “Your political system here is absolutely up the shit.”

Bianca laughed, not entirely familiar with that expression but getting the gist. She was about to agree when Willam interrupted her thoughts.

“That’s so Aussie!” Willam said, mouth muffled with food.

She assumed that was some kind of inside joke, but found herself unconcerned with being left out. What was more troubling was that until that moment, she’d temporarily forgotten that Willam was even there. She could already tell that it was a problem...how enchanting her new roommate was. Not to mention beautiful. The more Bianca looked into Courtney’s face, the more captivated she became. She cleared her throat, forcing her attention to Willam, who was working her way through a steak burrito bowl. Bianca nudged her foot.

“What’s your major, then?”

She expected a proud, boastful response but instead, there was just further silence. Conversation dropped dead for a few moments before Courtney chimed in softly with, “She doesn’t have a major yet...She’s still undeclared.”

“What?” Bianca exclaimed in amazement as a hint of pink rose to Willam’s cheeks despite her stony expression. “How can you still be undeclared? What year are you in?”

“Third,” Willam answered tensely, “And it's not that unusual. I just haven’t found the right thing yet, okay?”

If it wasn’t clear before that this was a touchy subject, the little huff at the end of her defense made it painfully obvious.

“Okay, well...cool.” Bianca grimaced awkwardly. Served her right for trying her hand at some Courtney-esque interview questions. She racked her brain for a lighter topic of conversation. “So...what do you guys...do for fun?”

“Shop,” Willam answered decisively.

“Oh! You know what we should do!” Courtney exclaimed brightly. “We should go to Cielo Plaza tomorrow!”

“What’s that?” Bianca asked, relieved that the subject change had worked.

“A mall,” Willam answered. “It’s no King of Prussia but there are a few good stores in there.”

Bianca wasn’t sure what the fuck “King of Prussia” was, but Courtney breezed right past it, happily pitching how great the activity would be.

“Yeah! And it’s so cute. We could have lunch, find some more decorations for the apartment, get some new clothes-”

“Should ask Alaska if she wants to come too,” Willam said, continuing to speak through mouthfuls of food.

“Of course!” Courtney enthused. “And then Saturday, we could go to the beach! Do you like the beach?”

Bianca did not like the beach. Sand in her asscrack was the last thing she wanted. But the idea of seeing Courtney in a bathing suit was pretty appealing…

“Love the beach,” she said with a smile.  

“Great!” Courtney leaned back proudly.

“So, uh…what about nighttime fun?” Bianca’s eyes flickered unconsciously to Courtney’s glossy lips, the way her tongue toyed with the straw, before quickly adding, “Any good clubs?”

“We’re underage,” Courtney said sweetly.

“Oh, right.” Bianca turned to Willam. “Come on. I know you’ve got a fake ID. Where do you go?”

A secretive, almost mischievous smile spread across Willam’s lips as her eyes narrowed in on Bianca consideringly. There was a confident, daring tone in her voice as she responded with a simple, “Depends.”

Arching her brow, egging her on, Bianca shot back, “On?”

Willam’s smile grew just a little wider as answered, “On what your type of scene is.”

Fully catching onto the joke that had gone over Courtney’s head, Bianca sat back in her seat, arms crossed with an amused grin of her own and asked, “What do you think it is?”

There was a loaded pause as the two stared one another down. Courtney’s eyes darted back and forth in confusion, looking absolutely lost.

Finally, after what felt like a decade of waiting, Willam broke the silence of the group and replied almost smugly, “I think you'll be right at home in Sierra's.”

“Willam!” Courtney scolded harshly as she gave her friend a firm smack to the arm. Turning a bright shade of pink, she turned to Bianca and apologized, lowing her voice, “I'm sorry, that...that's a gay bar.”

The way her voice had dipped into such a low whisper had Bianca laughing on the spot. As soon as she managed to get ahold of herself, she inquired with amusement, “So? What’s wrong with gay bars?”

Stunned, Courtney blinked several times before finding her voice again. “Nothing! That’s not what I-it’s not that there’s anything wrong, she just shouldn’t assume...I mean, if you’re okay with it, then-”

“Well, it’s probably gonna be my best bet at getting laid,” came the nonchalant answer.

Looking rather pleased with herself, Willam piped back up for affirmation, “So you are...?”

Nodding her head, Bianca confirmed, “Mh-mm...And what about you? Casual observer or part of the family?”

“I mean...if that's what I'm in the mood for, yeah.”

“Makes sense,” Bianca quipped as her brow arched, “You do seem like the ‘take it anywhere you can get it’ type.”

The comment earned a loud laugh, one distinct enough to draw the attention of nearly everyone else in the shop. Despite the onlookers, Willam reassured her with a playful grin, “Trust me bitch, it’s not that hard to get it around here...”

“Sounds promising,” Bianca replied before turning back to Courtney, “You alright, dollface? You’ve been awfully quiet over here.”

Stumbling to collect herself, Courtney found herself mumbling, “Oh...um, no. I mean, yeah, I'm not-I mean-”

“Court is straight,” Willam said, saving her from stammering any longer.  

“You don’t say,” Bianca said, trying to sound like she’d known all along. Secretly though, she was a bit surprised. She could have sworn that the blonde had been giving her vibes all day. Well...too bad. Karmic justice, indeed. With a sly sideways glance at her, Bianca clucked, “Pity.”  

Snorting through her laughter, Willam shook her head and said, “Yeah, you wish, bitch. But that pussy’s a boys club.”

“Bill!” Courtney wrinkled her nose in distaste.

Bianca shook her head sadly, asking, “So...you’ve never even been eaten out by someone who actually knows what the hell they're doing down there?”

“Hey! Men can learn!” Courtney exclaimed defensively, then a tiny conspiratorial grin crept onto her face and she admitted, “I mean...hypothetically.”

Bianca burst into cackling laughter.

“Oh, you poor baby,” she cooed, still giggling, slipping an arm around Courtney’s shoulders. Courtney turned to her with a look of good-natured self-pity, lower lip puffed out, batting her lashes slowly for comedic effect.

The more Bianca thought about it, the more she realized that there was something a bit freeing about Courtney being straight. She was straight. There were lines that would never be crossed, ever. So it meant she was safe to flirt and have fun and it would never make her living situation complicated.

Win win, right?

Bianca looked into Courtney’s sparkling green eyes one last time before removing the arm from her shoulder, chuckles dying down.

***

Bianca suggested a stop at the grocery store on the way home, which Courtney realized was a great idea, since she had barely anything stocked, having chosen to eat most of her meals for the past few days in the cafeteria by their building.

Plus, she didn’t mind at all that they were extending their outing, finding Bianca to be both hilarious and fascinating. While Willam was occupied on her phone, Courtney hopped into the cart, beaming up at Bianca.

“Uh, I’m sorry, are your legs broken?” Bianca asked pointedly.

“Come on, please?! I wanna riiiiide,” she wheedled, and Bianca smirked at her.

“Oh, I can give you a ride.”

Courtney bit her lip, both hating and loving the way her stomach twisted every time she looked into Bianca’s brown eyes. It was thrilling, but also terrifying, like being on a rollercoaster--and Courtney loved rollercoasters. She was still a bit miffed at Willam for so adamantly proclaiming her straightness earlier, though she couldn’t really say why. It was true, of course, she was straight, but the way Willam said it so definitively was annoying, especially since she’d only just found out that Bianca was gay moments before.

All Courtney did know, for sure, was that she was having fun, so she decided just to enjoy herself and not stress about it.

They sped through the store, picking up pantry staples and some produce for the next couple of days, along with a few treats that Courtney insisted on...coconut water, dates, kale chips. Bianca pretended to be disgusted by all of it.

At one point, in the freezer aisle, Courtney found herself gazing up at Bianca, admiring again how thick and shiny her hair was. When Bianca leaned over the cart to toss in a package of frozen peas, Courtney reached up, fingering a lock gently.

“Is that your real hair color?” she asked.

“No,” Bianca said, “Not even close. Why, is that your real hair color?” She reached out, unceremoniously ruffling Courtney’s hair.

Courtney ducked and giggled, saying, “Almost! It’s...slightly enhanced.”

A wicked look passed across Bianca’s face as she said, “You know, there’s a way to check that.”

“Eyebrows?” Courtney asked, lashes fluttering innocently.

Bianca cackled gleefully, dark eyes dancing with joy, and said, “Yeah, eyebrows. That’s exactly what I was thinking.”

Courtney bit her lip, feeling a surge of pride at making someone as funny as Bianca laugh so hard.

They were almost to the check-out when an employee asked tiredly for her to please get out of the cart.

“Oh yeah, sorry!” she said, scrambling to get up.

“Need a hand?” Bianca asked.

“Thanks.” Courtney let Bianca help her out, one hand holding the cart steady and the other on her waist. A faint blush colored her cheeks as she jumped down and found herself chest to chest with Bianca, close enough to smell her perfume, which was lovely--warm and smoky. It made Courtney want to lean in closer...

“Let’s go!” Willam screeched, slamming the cart into their legs.

“Soz Bill!” Courtney snapped out of her daze and headed for the registers, making sure to snatch a few bars of dark chocolate on the way, chuckling slightly at Willam’s mumbled “that’s so Aussie.”

It was still early when they got back to the apartment, and Courtney was too riled up to sleep, so she suggested opening a bottle of the wine that Bianca bought. Alaska was dozing, so they left her in peace while the three of them sat around Courtney and Willam’s room and chatted for a few more hours. They shared stories about their childhoods and families, generally getting to know each other--at least until Bianca’s eyelids began to look heavy and they sent her off to bed.

As Courtney finally snuggled down into her comforter, lightly buzzed and perfectly content, her last thought was how lucky she was, how wonderful her roommates were, how life-changingly amazing this year promised to be.