#sorry its just darkly amusing to me.....im just like the joker
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when your whole life has been dominated by guilt and shame it's impossible to imagine anything different, which is why i get so baffled when people get angry about something that would help ease my shame. "society has shamed you into believing -" bro shame is etched into my goddamn bones. I will continue to try to alleviate it.
#avery.txt#sorry its just darkly amusing to me.....im just like the joker#it is impossible for me to live without shame. if i am not able to ease that shame i will panic and refuse to engage with anyone/thing#i kinda blame my acne for this? like i think having it since being like 12 made me intensely fixated on physical cleanliness & appearance#like being self conscious about acne made me just as self conscious about body odor & my eyebrows & hair & weight & bust size & lips etc etc#like my brain said 'well if we're going to be disgusting bc of our acne we have to be perfect in every other area to make up for it!'#and i went ok i will fixate on that forever <3
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