#sorry it's not very long lool

[rosyblooom]

right person, wrong times | cl16

pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader summary: a random day each year across 11 years, as they go from practically strangers, to more, to less, and again. (~4.3k) a/n: inspo from 'one day' !! been struggling with writer's block, so sorry in advance if it's rough lool

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

One day in 2018

Y/N glanced across the crowded room, picking out one familiar face amidst the sea of strangers: Pascale. Their families went way back, but with Y/N's parents splitting when she was just a toddler, she'd spent most of her life in Spain with her dad, Switzerland for boarding school, and rare trips to Monaco to visit her mum—hardly ever crossing paths with the Leclerc's.

But today was different. She found herself in Monaco attending a family gathering to finally meet Pascale's sons properly. She couldn't recall the last time she'd spoken to them, but Pascale had insisted today would be the day, especially since her recent move here.

Across the room, Charles stood, his posture slightly hunched as his mother whispered in his ear, urging him to check on Y/N. "Please go see how Y/N is doing. I'm not sure if she'll remember you, but just introduce yourself and keep her company for a while," Pascale pleaded, fixing him with a hopeful gaze. "Please."

"I don’t even know where she is or what she looks like."

"She's at the bar," Pascale replied with a smile. "She's the pretty one—you won't miss her."

"Very helpful," Charles chuckled, shaking his head before stepping back. "I'll make my way over now."

It didn't take long until he found himself at the bar. Surprisingly, his mother's brief description proved accurate, as Y/N stood out for her beauty—quite a departure from the faint memory he held of her.

Drawing closer, he flashed a warm smile and extended his hand in greeting. "Charles."

Y/N shot him a quick, assessing glance, her eyes flitting over his unruly hair and black attire, before meeting his gaze. "Not interested," she dismissed, her attention already wandering back to the room.

Chuckling at her abruptness, Charles shook his head. "No, no, I wasn't trying to... I'm not here to make a move, I wouldn't."

Y/N turned towards him, her curiosity piqued by his response. "Ouch," she teased, a hint of amusement dancing in her eyes. "So you think I'm ugly, then?" Her lips curved slightly as she awaited his answer.

Heat crept up Charles’ neck, and though he couldn’t see himself, he could sense the warmth spreading across his face. With a nervous stammer, he began, “Wait, no! That’s not what I meant—What I’m trying to say is—”

“Relax,” Y/N interjected with a sympathetic smile. “I’m just kidding. Nice to see you again, Leclerc. It’s been a while, huh?”

Charles let out a long breath, his tension easing slightly. For a moment, he studied Y/N with a discerning gaze, as if attempting to unravel her mystery; she was undeniably peculiar, yet undeniably intriguing. “It has been a while,” he finally acknowledged, nodding slowly.

One day in 2019

This marked Y/N’s first ever Christmas market in Monaco. She had wanted to attend last year’s, but the winter season had always been her least favourite. This time last year, it was simply too cold for her—no matter what the news claimed, she was freezing. But today wasn’t half as bad. Sure, she was bundled up in about three sweaters under her hoodie, which she wore beneath her jacket, but well, you could say she was sensitive to weather.

“Y/N?” a voice suddenly erupted from behind her, pulling her attention away from the gigantic, decorated Christmas tree and towards Charles, who now stood before her, holding two steaming mugs.

Y/N narrowed her gaze, appearing lost in thought. “Sorry, do I know you?”

Charles shook his head and sighed, his breath forming a white cloud in the chilly air. “Right, of course. It’s been a year, so it makes sense for you not to remember me…”

“I'm just joking,” Y/N grinned, nudging him cautiously to avoid any spills. “You’re too easy.”

Charles’ mouth dropped open slightly, his eyes widening for a moment before he chuckled, “Okay, I’m not going to believe anything you say from now on.”

"Good idea," she nodded with a smile. Y/N's gaze then drifted down to the two mugs in his hands, and she inquired, "Am I right to assume that one of these is for me?"

A puzzled expression briefly crossed Charles' face, his brows furrowing slightly, prompting Y/N to gesture towards the cups.

As if suddenly remembering, he exclaimed, "Oh, right! I thought you might want something warm, and who doesn't like hot chocolate, right?" With that, he offered one of the drinks to her.

"I sure do." Y/N took the cup, cupping her cold hands around the hot glass, immediately feeling the stiffness melt away from her fingers. The hot chocolate wasn't nearly as scalding as she had anticipated—it was just right, and she savoured each sip, briefly closing her eyes in contentment. When she reopened them, she couldn't help but remark, "Sweet, just like you."

As if someone had turned on a gas stove, heat rushed to Charles' face, though this time he was fortunate; the weather was already giving him a rosy complexion due to the cold.

But Y/N still noticed, and she smiled. "Don't go getting soft on me now," she teased, bumping her elbow into his arm.

Without really thinking, Charles muttered, "You're not making it easy…" His words slipped out, and with their proximity, Y/N heard him loud and clear. Even though it wasn't the first time she'd heard a comment like that, the fact that it came from Charles sent a pleasant shiver down her spine.

"What was that?" Arching a brow, Y/N glanced up at him sideways, a playful glint in her eyes.

"Nothing… Do you want to get inside though? It’s a little too cold for me."

“It’s my first time here,” Y/N said, hooking her arm around his, ignoring the sudden tension in his muscles. “Don’t want to get lost,” she explained, glancing up at Charles, who didn’t object and instead simply nodded. “Right, yeah.”

“So? Lead the way then.”

“Alright, alright,” Charles obliged, skilfully manoeuvring through the crowd, with Y/N beside him.

One day in 2020

“Is this seat taken?” The question caused Y/N to freeze, her forkful of ratatouille dropping onto her plate. She swallowed the remaining food in her mouth and swiftly swept the napkin off her lap, dabbing the corners of her mouth until she was sure there were no traces left.

“Not at all,” she finally responded, turning towards the voice. “I should warn you though—” But the moment her eyes met the familiar pair of Charles’ blue ones, she stopped mid-sentence.

For a brief moment, it seemed as if the rest of the table didn’t exist, as neither of them spoke, both too captivated by the other's presence. With a crooked smile, Charles broke the silence. “You were going to warn me about something?”

Y/N couldn't quite explain why, but the sight of his smile immediately lifted the corners of her mouth, while her stomach somersaulted with a flurry of emotions. She pushed aside the sensation and simply laughed, resting her elbows on the table and burying her face in her hands. “Just forget it,” she mumbled against her palms, loud enough for Charles to hear.

A gentle breeze wafted over her, carrying a familiar, clean scent of laundry detergent that Y/N had come to associate with Charles. Somehow, it immediately calmed the strange fluttering in her stomach, prompting her to lift her gaze again.

“Hi,” she finally greeted with a smile, reaching for the glass of wine on the table.

“Hey,” Charles nodded, settling back in his seat.

They lingered like this for a while, Y/N's gaze fixed on the side of his face while Charles casually surveyed the room, exchanging greetings with a few acquaintances. Squinting slightly, Y/N blurted out, “Are you stalking me?”

Charles burst into laughter, quickly composing himself and leaning towards her. “In my family's house?” he countered.

Y/N nodded in satisfaction as she took a sip from her drink. “Excellent point,” she conceded.

Gently settling the glass down, she redirected her attention to the untouched forkful of food and remarked, “Can I just say, you have to try this, it's so good.” She gestured towards her barely touched plate. “I don’t know what Pascale put in this, but this is the best ratatouille I’ve ever tasted.” Y/N grabbed her fork and extended it towards him, but noticing Charles freeze, she quickly swallowed her words, saying, “Oh, sorry, I know some people are a little iffy with sharing—”

Before she could retract the fork, Charles' warm hands suddenly enclosed around hers, halting her movement as he guided the fork towards his mouth, taking a bite, and nodding at her with a smile. “It’s been my favourite since I was a little kid.”

Y/N whispered softly, her voice barely above a murmur, yet close enough for them to hear each other perfectly. "A man of taste huh?" Her gaze drifted from his eyes down to where his hand still lingered around hers, now tracing soft circles across her skin.

Charles followed Y/N’s line of sight, quickly clearing his throat when he realised what he was doing. He withdrew his hand, causing both to avert their eyes, suddenly finding interest in everything but each other.

The last thing Charles wanted was to make Y/N uncomfortable, and as for her, she simply didn’t want to blow things out of proportion—see something where there was nothing. For all she knew, Charles was like that with all his friends.

A few moments passed, filled with surrounding chatter, before they both spoke up at the same time.

“Do you want to go—"

“So, do you have any other—"

Laughter erupted between them before Y/N smirked, “Because I’m a lady, you first.”

“How kind of you,” he chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “Are you free next week? We could maybe grab lunch or something.” Before she could respond, he added, scratching his neck, “I would offer to cook, but unfortunately, cooking skills don’t get genetically passed down.”

Ignoring the beat Y/N was sure her heart had just skipped, she simply smiled and leaned forward, chin propped on her hand. “You mean a date?”

“Only if that’s what you want.”

Her rapid nods confirmed everything before her words even formed. However, just as Charles’ lips broke into a broad grin, Y/N’s expression suddenly fell as she remembered, “Wait, no, I can’t. I’m travelling to Spain tomorrow to visit my dad. And then after that, I’ll start my internship in New York City.”

Charles sank back into his chair, though his face didn’t betray the disappointment he felt. “I see,” he sighed.

“Rain check?” Y/N asked. She wanted a date with him, to see if they’d hit it off on that level. The only problem was the timing, but she knew her feelings didn’t fade quickly. If they had to wait, then so be it. She was ready to do so. Laughing, Y/N added, “Seriously, I still want that date.”

“Rain check it is,” Charles nodded. “Congrats on the internship though, that’s amazing. Maybe I can come visit, and we’ll—”

The sudden clanking of glass interrupted him, causing both to turn their attention to the woman standing at the end of the long table.

Without breaking eye contact with the woman, Y/N leaned in closer to Charles, her lips accidentally grazing his as his gaze fleetingly dropped to her lips before he refocused on the woman, who had now dropped her glass onto the table.

Y/N whispered into his ear, to which Charles simply nodded, suppressing the sudden surge of desire coursing through his veins.

One day in 2021

Y/N walked through the Paddock with a sense of detachment, like a deer caught in headlights. The US Grand Prix had come to an end, and Max Verstappen had emerged as the victor. It wasn’t exactly what she had hoped for, but she didn’t feel any strong emotions about it. What occupied her thoughts, however, was the meeting spot she had arranged with Carlos.

Pausing in her step, she pulled out her phone, deciding to cut straight to the chase and call him directly. The phone rang for what seemed like an eternity until the sound was abruptly cut off by a long beep, indicating his automated voicemail.

“Not even personalised,” she scoffed, hanging up, tossing her phone into her bag, and continuing, resigned to the idea of either wandering aimlessly forever or eventually finding Carlos.

However, she didn’t get far before colliding with someone. She stumbled backward a bit before regaining her balance, and as she looked up, her eyes widened in recognition.

Charles stood opposite her, his expression shifting from shock to a warm smile, though his eyebrows remained slightly furrowed. “Hi,” he breathed, the warmth of his breath reaching and spreading across Y/N’s face. “You’re… here.”

Y/N’s gaze swept over his tousled hair, a few strands sticking to his forehead adorned with tiny beads of sweat, some trailing down the sides of his slightly flushed face. “You’re sweaty. Very sweaty,” she blurted out, immediately regretting her awkward observation. But it had been a year since their last exchange, so it was understandable that things felt a bit awkward between them.

A few chuckles escaped Charles, immediately bringing a smile to Y/N’s face. “Thanks, I didn’t notice."

She exhaled a laugh, and then Charles added, “Thank you for coming, I really appreciate it.” Shielding his eyes from the harsh glare of the sun with his hand, he squinted at her. “Can I ask though, was this meant to be a surprise or something?”

“Ah, Charles, you’ve met my friend, Y/N,” Carlos interrupted from behind as he came to a stop beside her.

Y/N smiled awkwardly. “Uhm... Carlos actually invited me, so that's why I'm here."

“You two know each other?” Charles inquired, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

“My dad lives in Spain, remember?” Y/N reminded him, shrugging. “Our families are pretty close.”

“Right…” Charles nodded, though he couldn’t shake off the slight hint of disbelief in his voice. After all, he knew Carlos was dating someone already, so he wasn’t sure why he felt that way. And as for Y/N, she was free to do as she pleased. After all, that date they had talked about last year never even happened. They had no history, no reason for him to feel jealous.

But he did anyway.

Wanting to diffuse the sudden tension settling between the three of them, Y/N exclaimed, “But it’s good to see you again. And you did really well. Congrats on P4, seriously.”

Charles smiled, and for the first time today, it was genuine. He wasn’t entirely satisfied with P4; he had wanted a podium finish and had come close to it. But for some reason, if she was happy, so was he.

“Thanks—” His smile faltered when an arm snaked around his torso, his girlfriend Amélie taking her place beside him and planting a quick kiss on his cheek. Without wasting a second, his gaze shifted to Y/N, just in time to catch the way her eyes widened before she swallowed, her expression now impassive.

Shock and confusion swirled through Y/N’s body. She hadn’t expected Charles to have a girlfriend, so when she felt her heart crack slightly, it made sense. But she wasn’t going to show it—at least, not purposely she wasn’t.

Charles furrowed his brows as he regarded the girl standing in front of him. A pang of guilt nagged at him, though he couldn’t quite pinpoint why: they were never anything more than friends. And judging by the way neither of them had kept up with one another, you could barely even call it that.

Maybe they were more like strangers with a couple of good memories and unfulfilled promises?

“You alright, mate?” asked Carlos, pulling Charles out of his reverie.

Clearing his throat, Charles replied, “Yeah, yeah... Uhm Amélie, this is Y/N, my… friend.” The word came out almost as a question, but he pressed on. “Y/N, meet Amélie, my girlfriend.”

Charles wasn’t sure what he expected, but Y/N’s cheerfulness was definitely not it. “Hey,” she smiled and waved.

Slowly, tensions began to dissipate as all four of them became engrossed in conversation—though in reality, it was more like three. Y/N found herself too preoccupied with the realisation that Charles had a girlfriend now. It was a simple fact, yet it carried a weight: it meant he hadn't spent the year turning down people left and right, like she had, in hopes of a maybe.

One day in 2022

"Y/N, thank God you’re here!" Amélie's voice echoed the moment Y/N stepped into the living room, causing her to freeze in her tracks. "Uh, hey?" she replied, her eyes scanning the partly decorated room before settling on Charles, who sent her a small wave.

She raised her brows and forced a smile, though it faltered quickly—she and Charles had grown apart. Truthfully, Y/N had contemplated not showing up today; faking an illness or something and making sure to stay at home for a few days—Monaco was too small to risk being accidentally spotted.

But she came.

She came because Charles called.

Two days ago, he had called her in the middle of the night, asking if she was planning to fake being sick to avoid seeing him. And he was right—exactly what Y/N had been contemplating. So, when her first phone call with Charles in two years challenged the very idea in her mind that they had grown apart, it confused her. After all, she was sure she was a blank page now, yet he still seemed to be able to read her.

Snapping out of her daze, Y/N watched as Amélie paced erratically, her brows furrowing with every step. "What's going on with her?" Y/N asked, turning to Charles for an explanation.

He chuckled, approaching her. "It's the cake," he explained. "Amélie ordered it, but now it needs to be picked up sooner than planned because they're closing earlier than usual for some reason. So, now we have a problem, obviously."

"Why don't you just go pick it up?" Y/N leaned into him, her voice barely above a whisper, her eyes still fixed on Amélie, who was now engaged in a fervent phone call.

"Apparently, I'm too clumsy."

"You are."

Charles chuckled, but his laughter was cut short when Amélie suddenly gasped, her eyes darting between Y/N and him as she rushed towards them. “Okay, guys, everyone will be here soon. If I stay and finish all this off, you two can quickly go collect the cake. So, if one person drives and the other holds it really tightly, that should work, right?”

“Sounds good,” Y/N chimed in.

“I agree,” Charles added.

“Alright,” Amélie beckoned them out of the living room and towards the front door. “Go on.”

“I love you,” Amélie said, leaning in for a kiss. But as she moved closer, Charles instinctively turned his head, causing her lips to land on his cheek instead of his mouth. His gaze had shifted to Y/N, who stood in the front yard, seemingly fixated on the grass.

“Yeah... love you,” he muttered absentmindedly, his attention still captivated by the girl just a few feet away from him.

Normally, Charles had no issue displaying affection for his girlfriend in front of others, but Y/N made it difficult. Whenever she was around—whether at family gatherings, parties, or Grand Prix events—his eyes always seemed to gravitate towards her.

“Please, don’t take too long!” Amélie shouted as the door slammed shut.

Amidst the occasional chirping of birds, a palpable silence settled between them. Y/N stared into the distance, while Charles observed her from the corner of his eye, noticing subtle changes since their last encounter. Her hair, for instance, was slightly shorter—a minor detail, yet one he couldn't help but notice.

With a loud clap, Charles gestured towards his car, parked discreetly to the side. “That way.”

Following his lead, Y/N entered through the passenger seat. However, as the car sprang to life and its dashboard lights flickered on, Charles let out a frustrated groan.

“What's wrong?” Y/N inquired.

Charles shook his head for a moment, muttering, “I told him to fill up the gas…”

“Oh,” Y/N exhaled, resting her head against the soft leather headrest. “So, what now?”

Charles' eyes lit up with excitement as he sat up eagerly, turning to face her. "We've got some old bikes in the shed, so if you want to—"

"You want us to ride rusty old bikes, while carrying a cake?" Y/N interjected, her serious expression quickly giving way to laughter.

"...Yeah?"

Y/N narrowed her gaze, appraising Charles for a moment before rolling her eyes and pushing the door open. "This is so going to backfire. I can't believe I'm doing this."

Charles couldn't help but smile as he watched Y/N exit the car. He had a feeling she wouldn't turn this idea down, and he was glad he was right. It meant that despite the years, things hadn't changed too much between them. She was still the same Y/N he knew, and he hoped he was still the Charles she was willing to have a date with.

"Don't tell me I'm going to have to do this by myself now. You coming or what?" Her yell pierced through the car, prompting him to jump out and hurry towards the shed.

By the time he finally reached the shed, Y/N had already claimed a bike—and surprisingly, it was his. Charles used to guard that bike fiercely when he was younger, not allowing anyone, not even for a few minutes. But now, as he watched her mount it, he felt no trace of that possessiveness, not even a hint.

Perhaps it was because he had outgrown that childish behaviour, or maybe it was something else entirely. Either way, he couldn't deny the genuine happiness that bubbled up within him at the sight.

Now, if it were Amélie riding his bike at that moment, he wasn't quite sure he would feel the same way.

“Race you to the bakery?” Y/N grinned mischievously.

A wide smile immediately spread across Charles' face. “Sure, once I get my hands on a bike.”

“No,” she retorted, already starting to pedal. “You snooze, you lose.”

Racing to grab Lorenzo’s bike, Charles jumped on it, yelling, “Cheater!”

When he finally caught up to her, Y/N was no longer riding her bike but pulling it alongside her, causing him to slow down beside her. “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you riding?” One corner of his mouth curled upward as he fixed her with a knowing look, coming to a full stop. “Oh, did you finally realise that cheating isn’t the way to go?”

“Says you,” Y/N retorted, though her chuckles rang loud and clear as Charles fell into step with her.

“Anyway,” she pointed down at her bike, “the chain’s come loose. So yeah, I was right, this was a bad idea, and Amélie is going to kill us, and poor Pascale won’t have a birthday cake.”

“Wow, don’t be too optimistic now,” Charles teased, earning an elbow to his side. “We’re not too far from the bakery now, so I say let’s not worry until we get to the ‘how do we get back home in time’ part. What do you say?”

Y/N turned to Charles, her eyes lingering on his features longer than necessary. “Okay,” she finally nodded, “sounds like a plan.”

But her words seemed to fall on deaf ears. In the time she spent gazing at Charles, he had been doing the same, unwilling to move on from that moment quite as quickly as she had.

Stopping in his steps, Y/N continued a few more feet before finally noticing his hesitation and halting her movements, turning back. “Do you want Amélie to murder us?” she joked, but her humour faded when she saw Charles’ serious expression remain unchanged.

“Okay, what’s the matter—”

Charles cut her off with a sigh. “Why don’t we talk anymore, Y/N?”

“What do you mean? We’re talking right now.”

“Come on, seriously,” Charles walked up beside her.

Y/N just shrugged, her mouth suddenly as dry as the Sahara desert. “I don’t know…”

“Well, I don't either, so can we please just start over then?” Charles proposed, his tone tired of the tension and the walking on eggshells. It was too much when all he wanted was to be close to her, to laugh like they used to before everything went haywire.

Y/N looked off to the side, musing over his words for a moment, before meeting his gaze again with a small smile. “Okay, fine, I guess.”

“Wow, you seem really excited,” Charles remarked, flashing a wide grin.

“I really do, don't I? Now, if you don’t mind,” Y/N started walking again, “I really do not feel like being killed today, so let’s fucking go.”

“Alright, alright, I’m coming.”

2:31 ──────ㅇ────── 4:45

[chthonicgodling]

lol I’m sorry for formatting this like this so long but- No I’m not. IIIIT’S A NEW ELYSIUM DRAMA UPDATE‼️

[part 1 • part 2 • finally here!]

THIS ONE’S SOOOOO VERY EXCITING - we’ve been keeping this secret for months!!!

FEATURINGGGG our star players throughout this saga of course, the current Elysium (not… YET)throuple of the year— Maci! ELoki! Tory! and special cameo guest: Hecate!

Loki, known for his children of various eccentricities due to his pinball machine-nightmare labyrinth-utter mystery of a reproductive system, has spent most of the year pregnant with Tory’s baby, as part of the little playful tryst he’s been tangled in between him and Tory and Maci!! We know thisss (I HOPE YOUVE BEEN FOLLOWING ALONG?)

From the get go pregnancy symptoms have been weird. Too big too fast, flickering magic - now this fever mentioned prev??? , but EeL’s cagey about his kids and hasn’t let anyone assess WHY it’s been weird. Childbirth and Witchcraft goddess Hecate is one of Elysium’s go-to midwives and… someone Loki dislikes for no reason fgkfkg so even though she COULD have assessed from day 1 - he’s refused. But now given the previous drama, (yknow - EeL’s poof and reappearance) maybe it’s finally time to put everyone’s concerns to rest. Well, Hecate (Mother™ Edition) is promptly called, and—

One pyrokinetic fire daemon PLUS one chaos entity who keeps giving birth to various creatures EQUALS::::

Well! Duh!

🐉💞🐉💞🐉💞 I’m so excited for you guys to meet him☺️

More sporadic Elysium Drama Updates to come! immmmm running out of time but I have a few more canon moments I want to draw still! Stay tuned!! AHH!

***also- lmfao at Fenixe [hiatus’d at @fenixethekid !!] and I being on the same page about this AGAIN without prior discussion AGAIN? Jesus christ running Elysium together for so long we continue to be synched via inexplicable hivemind entity fgFgof gOD LOOL AHH - Tory & Hecate/orangepurple bubbles are hers, EeL & Maci/greenpink bubbles are mine!

[panchulien]

IT'S ME AGAIN HI

Just because I'm curious: how did you end up obsessed with CoD and Nik in general? I'm always curious to hear !!

I don't know why this got so long omg I'm so so sorry. Thanks for the ask though! <3

tl;dr: observe from afar - read fic - fall in love w nik

I was an observer most of the time, just watching from afar especially when MW3 came out and Ghost and Soap were everywhere. Occasionally checked out Umikochans comics because their relationship was so interesting. Saw the NikPrice bits too, liked and scrolled.

Then came across a thread-fic about NikPrice, mind you I don't even know who Nikolai is at the time, but it broke me. One sided NikPrice always hits the spot doesn't it? Haha. I gotta thank the OP some time for introducing me to him. Then went back to Umiko's NikPrice again because it's been bugging me. I had to know who this man was and why he was yearning over the Captain. The rest is history. Everything about this man was so interesting and it gripped me by the throat and now I'm here

video games like Assassins Creed and Call of Duty have been far interests to me since I didn't have the platforms to play them on (nobody in their right mind should buy a MacBook. I may be typing this answer on one, but it's still the biggest mistake of my life) so id just listen to their stories. Watched playthroughs but not all of them since I wanted to see it for myself one day. Embarrassing to admit but no, I haven't played COD yet. Got a new pc + MW (2019) tho so it's soon. I'm very excited! Checked out everything there is about Nikolai but there are still huge chunks of lore I don't know. I was afraid to talk about nik for a long while bc ''what if I missed an important detail'' LOOL all good now though. I love him so much he makes me so so happy 🙁

[amesliu]

So now that SP&BH is complete, what’s your view of the status of the dubiously/potentially canon stuff? I don’t think any of those contradict anything?

A lot of the dubiously canon stuff does sort of contradict canon

e.g. the timeline of cj's connabeth fic places both annabeth pitching the demo of f&a the album and the release of the album between the 6 month period between lukabeth's first break up and the start of SOHAE which is impossible

or the mini comic for end up here doesn't contradict anything timeline wise but imo does slightly contradict the private but not secret dynamic of their relationship post spbh in that while they did do a met gala hard launch, when it comes to each of their own *work* (which includes performances) they don't really bring each other up explicitly unless it's for something really big (e.g. getting engaged.... hint hint wink wink about content?)

and they'll remain dubiously canon partly for that reason

but the MAIN REASON they won't be officially canonized is because of my philosophy around understanding and analyzing SOHAE and SPBH. To me they are a singular text and I don't think the canon *should* include meta text or content made outside of that body of work. This is part of why I don't post side content to the SOHAE blog for the most part. if I suddenly dub it canon it becomes part of the text. anytime i do make side content that i consider canon it is very very carefully considered (e.g. sohae.5). additionally, side content being non-canon gives me a lot of freedom to explore the concepts and characters without it impacting the main work.

do i think people are going around hyperanalyzing the lore of sohae to piece together a day by day timeline of the events? no. but i do still treat it as that because i want to make the strongest work possible and it helps me think very deeply about sohae as a universe (i guess, is how i would word it?)

sorry that's very long im just super passionate about this kind of topic LOOL

[professor-pato]

Hhhi! Could you please do some older brother dirk hcs? I'm currently in no-older-figure-madness LOOL

(Please take your time with all the requests!)

-📡🛸🛰

i've been a little hesitant to answer homestuck asks for a while, because i've been trying to distance myself from it for a while, but i still find that writing homestuck comes so easily to me... ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡

anywho, here you go anon!!! sorry for the wait, i hope you enjoy!! ♡(>ᴗ•)

(also, i'm trying out a new layout, lmk what you think!! <3)

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OLDER BROTHER! DIRK X READER (PLATONIC) HEADCANONS !

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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙ ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

ੈ♡˳ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ! ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

dirk is a strange guy. we all know that

he's even stranger when he's in his natural habitat

so you bear witness to dirk at full weirdness capacity

he'll regularly come into your room, infodump at you for a few minutes, and then leave

he likes talking to himself, especially when he's working on things

he knows a weird amount about your friends

he'll remind you about your friend's seven month anniversary with their boyfriend and leave you wondering how he knows about that

it's really because he just tends to remember small things

but he likes to creep you out in mundane ways like that

dirk's platonic love language is something akin to parallel play

you've lived with him long enough to know that one of his main ways of expressing love is simply being... just there

and he really is. just there

he sorta just appears out of nowhere when you least expect it

like his little sibling sense are tingling and he needs to go hang out with you

usually without saying anything

another thing he does is get you random stuff he thinks you'll like

he is very much a "i saw this rock and thought you'd like it" person

so you'll just end up with the most random things on your bed when you get home

a pack of gum, a weird rock, some feathers, a bottlecap

while we're on the topic of expressions of care also

he asks you if you've eaten that day, or taken your meds (if you have them), or showered, etc.

has he done those things? don't worry about it.

he'll come into your room to drag you out for a meal if you haven't had one yet

if you're really not up to it, he'll bring you some

he cares about you a lot

he's pretty bad at verbalizing it

but he really does care

[stormoflina]

i like dom, he is a sweetheart, but its true he didnt deliever what he was signed for. after hendo we wanted a midfielder who can score goals, who will have g/a. sadly, dom is not that guy. im not blaming him, neither is ale, although he is being played out of position

----------------------------------------

this type of comments give me the ick so bad hahaha when it refers to players that are new to a league like Domi. he is new to a completely different league with a team that has certain plans and strategies that he needs to adapt to, just like every other player lmao.

yeah, some players adapt faster than others, but i think that's what happens literally everywhere: some adapt faster to new environments than others lolol.

Mac Allister had been playing in the premier prior to getting to Liverpool yeah, but it's still a new team with new everything lol. he is slowly finding himself within the team's system and we can see that.

i think we cannot speak so surely about a player's performance so early on unless they have been complete and utter shit and have not delivered anything at all, those types of "failed" signings are very easy to spot early on. but yeah, at least give them a year and, in Domi's case, wait for him to come back from his injury too omg. i think even Mo has talked about how Domi is new to all of this and that he is still young so he has a lot to learn still and ppl should not put so much pressure on him.

yeah, ppl hyped him up a lot (even the media, because... its the media) and he might have leaned into that hype if that makes sense, but wouldn't you do it too? i would also feel like im on top of the world and use this hype to get more confident. but the pressure is bound to get too much esp. with someone new to the league.

so sorry for the long rant omg, ive been thinking about this for a while. i hope it all makes sense, im not a native english speaker.

i just want to finish off by saying: give him (them) time and let's give constructive criticism i beg (this is not for anon omg this is in general cause a lot of people love to talk shit instead of trying to help lmao)

Hi anon!

Don't you apologize for the rant, I really enjoyed reading it, especially because I wholeheartedly agree and couldn't have said it better myself! And as a non-native speaker I wouldn't have guessed that English isn't your first language if you don't mention it!

Essentially, I think Domi is a victim of his own early success. He literally hit the ground running and even that doesn't express fully how quickly he got so popular. It feels like a lifetime ago, but I remember how he got POTM for August, or his jersey sold the most at the start of the season. I even remember that like two months into the season there was some stupid 'who's your favourite lfc player' poll on twt and he got first place (??) and there was a complete meltdown over that lool.

So, for the first few months, he was everywhere, in the media, on social media, constantly praised, edited next to Stevie G, it was a LOT. Everyone was definitely doing too much, so when the inevitable happened and realism kicked in, some were quick to be loud with their criticism. Just like they say, the higher you get, the worse the fall will be. In my opinion, that's what happened.

I also feel like that because of his great start, people just completely forgot his original situation - that he's young, from a slower, less physically demanding league, with winter breaks, less game time, playing a completely new role, moving to a whole other country alone, knowing absolutely nobody etc, etc. Sure, everyone of our new signings got their fair share of criticism, but I do feel like there was also a level of patience with them, something that was/is a bit of lacking with Dominik. Endo and Grav were able to get slowly used to the Prem, getting their minutes managed, Dominik didn't. He was playing essentially the role of two players multiple times with all the red cards flying around in the first months and I say this comfortably, that many games were won thanks to his efforts.

This is how a team works, where players are fighting for each other and not just their own egos. He stepped up when Endo and Grav couldn't because of their fitness and when CuJo and Macca were sent off (..) or injured. And now, the others are doing the same thing. It's just recency bias that has people forming sometimes rather harsh opinions, I think.

GOSH, I do suffer from a very serious yapping disease. I could write literal essays on topics like this lol.

[pumpumdemsugah]

(sorry if this is a dead horse lol) but i've literally unfollowed people for being weirdly aggressive about headcanons or "interpretations" (ex. them just projecting their personality onto someone else's character instead of making their own OC). Used to follow a grown woman that would make posts like, "if you don't think this character is trans then suck my dick" and it was with regards to cartoons from Adult Swim created by straight men.

Lool god. It's worse when it's about something there's no way in hell it's even slightly true and pure projection

Those kinds of statements are fun when it's a bit tongue and cheek but when it's not, how is this fun anymore? We're in an age where creators are being explicit if a character is gay or trans, no subtext needed and there's still a long way to go but I find it very confusing when people act like this towards newer shows that are very intentional about this character is X

[narastories]

So I know we're slipping into Saturday in this timezone, but I nevertheless have a question!

What's your relationship to dialog? Because I have had a variety of opinions from writers: some love it, some hate it. Do you like writing it? Is it easier to write than the rest or harder? Do you have opinions on dialog tags? On written accents and language quirks?

Sorry if this is all vague, the gist of it is: tell me about your approach to dialog. I'm asking because I really liked the dialog in your latest FPA fic.

Good luck with your current project and thank you!

Thanks for asking, I'm still happy to answer this on a Saturday lol

Also, I'm really flattered that you liked the dialog in my fic <3

This is such an interesting topic and I think I have lots of opinions! I would say there was definitely a time when I would have said dialog was my least favorite, but I think it has changed. I'm still struggling with it sometimes, especially if I need a character to give a certain piece of information to another character for plot reasons and I don't want them to sound dry. That still feels pretty hard.

But sometimes it's actually the dialog that comes to me first from a scene and then I make sure to write it down immediately. I think it also makes it a bit easier to see if it flows naturally if you only have the dialog next to each other and nothing else. Also maybe my brain hacked itself into daydreaming up some dialog because I found it hard lool

I also really like banter-heavy scenes in media (you know, the FPA has plenty of good lines for example), and that both motivates and inspires me to try to get the dialog right. It can also be fun once you learn how a particular character talks. (Although I do tend to second-guess myself every once in a while.)

Writing in first POV also indirectly helped I think because when you write the narration you are already closer in tone to how that character speaks, if that makes sense?

Writing different English accents specifically is very hard for me I think, because I never got a lot of exposure to them irl. And because of previous fandoms I know how it looks when someone does it really well (looking at you @geekinthefuschiahair sorry to tag you in a random discussion but this question made me think of how you writing Jamie's Scottish accent always filled me with awe and humility lol)

With the punctuation of dialog and the different language quirks around that I'm not picky. I don't know if you agree as a fellow European but I feel like since we get exposed to a lot of languages in our lives minor things like how someone signals the start of dialog just don't seem like a big deal? What I mean for example is that I ordered three books of the Dresden Files series and it took me actual DAYS to notice that one was the UK edition and had single quotes instead of double quotes around dialog lool I just opened both and went "yeah, looks about right" lmao

It's funny because I know that people can be extremely picky about that.

But if you read books in different languages growing up I think it's not that difficult to adjust to punctuation.

Actually, I think when I translated my first fic to English and put it on AO3 I used the Hungarian way of doing the dialog with EM dashes (I can sense some people shuddering right now) because I didn't know any better. I edited it since ofc lol Then because I got into Outlander and because I lived in the UK for a while I tried using single quotes, but then I had a lot of American fandom friends and decided to spare their eyes lol

So that is to say, I'm not picky about that. As long as you tell me who is speaking, I'm fine. Which is more of a pet peeve of mine. As a writer, you obviously know who is talking. And then sometimes you think oh I don't want to overuse a character's name or "he said/she said'. But I think that's a myth and you can't overuse that stuff. It's repetitive but I think when you read your eyes just glide over those phrases and it doesn't take you out of the scene. But if you have to stop and try to figure out who's saying what that is a lot more tedious in my opinion.

Alright, well I clearly had a lot to say about that so thank you for those excellent questions! xx

[enmi-land]

DIAAA, I hope you had a great day/night!

I am LIKE super-excited for the jjk fic!! ADJDJD – I LOVE the jjk universee!! 😭 & the first idea you told 🐰anon!! the goodwill event, right?? where the kyoto & the main school have like this competition?? & ADKDJD – I think Kiara would defo get along with Utahimee!! maybe she & some of the boys could be in like the kyoto schl branch & Mila & the rest of the boys could be in the main schl branch [ Ig it was Tokyo, Ionno? ] & OH MY LORD – what if Mila is like sort of from a privileged clan like the zenin clan?? I meannn, she‘s canonically from a wealthy fam & I totally think she would fit in a misogynistic clan like the Zenins, cause yk? they prefer the male kids & since Mila is canonically a high-achiever who aims to meet other‘s expectations & strive hard to prove others wrong! like yk? maybe a sunshine version of Maki?? & speaking of Maki, I feel like she & Mila would defo be the ‘black cat x sunshine’ trope!! Maybe like Yuta, Mila could like admire Maki! & GOJOOO, [ I love him & I miss him, please include him 🥺 ] I feel like once the manchild gets to know of the boys’ having a crush on his dear student(?), Mila, he like starts to tease them & tries to get them together!! & I can really see Nobara & Kiara teaming up to get the boys’ & Mila together!! & I really feel like they‘ll drag an exasperated Gumi & a clueless Yuji into their mission!! & I can totally see Yuji & Sunoo being besties!!

– 🐍anon

[ sorry for the VERY-VERY long message😭 I just had these things in mind & I had to share them with you 😭 sorry if it was annoying lool ]

yesssss the goodwill event is sooooo fun 🥲 i had a little different train of thought from you- so i was going to make mila and the others part of like a different branch from korea, and have the two japanese branch students be like eagerly anticipating their arrival like gossiping about who is in the class and what their techniques might be (does this count as spoilers??) 🍄🍄 but ahhh trying not to say too much bc again don’t wanna spoil it before it even comes out, but i love the ideas you have going on!! kiara would defs vibe with maki when they first meet— maybe the two of them bond over weapons and stuff 👑👑 and yesss mila would defs be a sunshine type- her and nobara would probs get along rlly well too, like them complimenting each other’s fashion sense and planning to go shopping together 💅✨✨ imagine todo asking one of the boys what their type is, and them instantly replying “mila” and todo just crying tears of joy bc yeah they have amazing taste in women 😋 mila would deffo have a girl crush on maki ngl, like she’d just find her strong aura and determination so attractive — and especially if they’re both from clans who don’t view women as highly… like mila is defs a princess of some well known clan, and probs is a disappointment bc she’s the only child of the main family, but she’s a girl, so when she sees maki and learns about her history, mila is all 🤩🤩 the boys will have to fight to drag mila away from maki lol 🌝 as for gojo (he shall be missed), riki would defs bother him all the time trying to provoke him into deactivating his infinity so he can have a go at the so called “strongest sorcerer” 🤺🤺 meanwhile mila silently fangirls over him with miwa (omg 2mi???) like “omg he’s so cool” which only fuels the boys need to try and one up him even more 😆

but ahhh hopefully this doesn’t spoil too much lol bc I haven’t written the jjk segment yet 😆 but don’t apologise for sharing!! I actually love asks like this- esp rlly long ones bc it also gets my brain thinking as well so thank youuuuu and love you mwah mwah 🌻💛

[theambitiouswoman]

Hi babe! I needed some advice on a situation. I’ve been friends with a girl for about 9 years. Recently I was being vocal about my point of view on my religion and she saw that as I disrespected her religion & her feelings in the text message. She’s newly religious and so it startled her and we got into our first argument in 9 years of friendship! I eventually told her what my intentions are and that i’m deeply sorry for my weak delivery & that id never do it again. However she’s now thinking if she still wants to be friends or not and said she’d get back to me when she can. I feel saddened and guilty that i’ll possibly lose someone I saw as a soul sister to me that I loved very much.

Although I’m hurt she’d possibly end it over 1 argument.. I put my ego aside and put myself in her shoes and I understood why she feels the way that she does and how my delivery affected her in terms of speaking up about my belief. So i know she has the right to decide and then let me know her choice. She reacted with hearts to my last message literally pouring my heart out and telling her how i don’t wanna lose her and i shouldn’t have done that. So i’m giving it time.. It’s been about 4 days now without speaking, I’m still keeping myself busy but it’s driving me insane lool any advice? Thank you in advance 💗

It's completely understandable that you're feeling guilty about the situation with your friend. I think its great that you recognized the impact your words had on her and took responsibility for your actions by apologizing sincerely.

Given that she reacted with hearts to your last message and acknowledged your apology, it's a positive sign that she still cares about your friendship <3

I think you should give her the time and space she needs to process her feelings and make a decision. Four days may feel like a long time without speaking, but it's important to respect her process.

When your friend is ready to communicate again, be open to listening to her perspective and feelings. She is new to practicing this religion and is also trying to find her footing, adapting her life to her belief system, and learning more about it as well. It is normal for someone to feel angry or defensive as they are trying to become confident in their new belief system. They are possibly adopting changes that involve evaluating the habits and thoughts they have lived with their whole life.

Remember that friendships can go through rough patches. Stay positive, maintain an open mind, and give your friend the space she needs. Hopefully, you'll be able to mend your friendship and move forward together.

<3

[onboardsorasora]

How does sugar baby Daniel introduce Lewis to Grace and Joe??

Idk why but I had such a hard time with this one lool. it absolutely didn't do what I wanted it to do. thought about scrapping it completely and maybe writing something else- the only reason I'm not is because I don't want to get into the habit of doing that because that means i'm putting pressure on myself. But then I don't want to like give you (in my opinion which might be wrong) shitty fic. its a conudrum and if I keep this in my docs any longer I will delete it lool. so here it is. sorry its not better Bestie <3

this is also pre-pregnancy of course

How they met | Lewis Signed to Ferrari | Winter break | a lil backstory | Dior Fashion Show afterparty | The apartment | John Elkann | Future Pregnancy drabble | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 |

Lewis grinned over at Daniel at the same time that he rested a warm palm on Daniel's hand where he was picking at his nail in agitation. Daniel was nervous, Lewis was as well but clearly he was better at hiding it.

Daniel's parents, Grace and Joe, had landed last night. Flown over to Nice on Lewis' plane. They were staying in Daniel's apartment and Lewis was excited to meet them, just as they were excited to meet him.

The elevator dinged its arrival and the gilded door opened, leading them to the floor of Daniel's apartment that he only used when Lewis wasn't around. It was more of a formality than anything.

Daniel had confessed to Lewis the night before that he was nervous about the meeting, not wanting his parents to get the wrong idea that Lewis was… paying for his services. Lewis had laughed and tried to calm his anxiety carnally. Daniel had slept better at least.

Now, Lewis could see that maybe he truly was worried.

“They'll love me. Parents normally do.” Lewis said confidently as they walked down the hallway. Daniel huffed a laugh. 

“As long as mum doesn't love you too much.” Daniel rolled his eyes and pushed Lewis' shoulder with his own.

“You worry too much.” Lewis said softly before ringing the doorbell.

The door opened quickly and Grace enveloped Daniel into a tight hug. She missed her baby terribly. Daniel had also mentioned to Lewis that it had been over a year since he'd last been home, hence how this whole trip happened. He’d been offering the flight before he thought much of it, and he was very happy he did.

Joe greeted Lewis around the hugging pair, sizing him up and making his own first impression of his son's formula one world champion boyfriend.

“I hope the flight over was ok?”

They all congregated in the kitchen, Lewis leaned over the peninsula countertop while Grace put some water in the kettle.

“It was lovely. Thank you for the ride as well. The comfort made the time pass faster.” Grace giggled while Joe rolled his eyes. Lewis chuckled, he liked Grace.

“So how did you two meet? Danny has been vague on the details.” Joe asked, taking a beer from the fridge. Daniel groaned in the way one did when their parents were embarrassing them.

“We met at a party actually. We have a mutual friend, Charles.” Lewis offered, extending his pinky to press against Daniel's on the countertop.

“Charles, he's the one you met in Italy, Danny?” Grace poured water into two cups, silently asking Lewis if he wanted tea as well. He shook his head.

“The same one. Your boyfriend Mum.” Daniel grinned when Grace fake swooned.

“I’ll have to meet him as well.” She laughed.

[saccharinecoffee]

Hey, just a question I've been wondering for a while, I'm currently trying to start working out (depression and stuff) and wanted to know if you ever went to a gym cuz I need some advice please, is it better for beginners to start going to the gym 2 or 3 Days a week when they're just starting? I was just struggling with deciding sorry for being annoying

Hi anon!! Don't worry you're not annoying, I'll do my best to help! :)

Just a quick disclaimer though, I am not a personal trainer or professional in the field, just someone who grew up with a very fitness-oriented family and am currently being followed by a personal trainer as well.

As for the frequency of the workouts, it depends on your energy levels. Three times a week for starters is great, then after you get used to it (after two weeks or a month, depending on your comfort) you can start upping it to 4 days a week, then 5.

Now, keep in mind that workouts don't have to be really long. At the moment I do 30 min workouts because I'm still a bit unfit at the moment (recovering from long-term illness will do that to you LOL) but a lot of people regardless of health concerns can do it as well. Much like the frequency, once you get the hang of it you can incorporate more exercises per day and extend your workout time from 30 to 45 minutes, for example.

The exercises you choose depend on your health goals. If you wanna lose weight, then a focus on aerobics/cardio can be a good way to go. I've been told if you're a little sleepy a quick cardio session can help boost your energy. This could include going on runs, using a treadmill, elliptical machine, zumba or dance classes, biking, etc.

If you wanna tone up and/or become strong then a good mix of muscle-developing exercises can really help. I feel like these are super important even if you don't care about the aesthetics, because the strength it gives you is priceless. You feel like you can walk more, move more, carry more things, use stairs easily, etc. You just become so much less tired and less sore. It's awesome.

As for the types of exercises, that really depends on whether or not you're gonna go to the gym or try your hand at home workouts. Regardless of the two, you can google for exercises at home (or search on youtube) and at the gym you could always ask them to help you with a workout plan. Where I live almost all gyms make workouts for their members for free, but idk about other countries 😔

Now, this may not be directly related to what you asked, but I gotta stress that a healthy diet is fundamental to your goals and I don't mean that just for the aesthetics of it. Eating well can genuinely change how you feel, and it can give you so much energy. And I'm not talking calories, I'm talking the quality of the food. No processed food, fried food, junk food, all that nasty stuff. I could suggest googling, but most "healthy" meal plans people suggest are disgusting and bland and kinda bordering on crimes against humanity LOOL if this is something that interests you just ask for more and I can give examples and recipes and stuff.

Exercise isn't the end-all-be-all, but it really can help with you feeling a bit brighter, a bit more capable, a bit stronger or even a bit more attractive. The self-satisfaction of being able to lift more and more, to run farther and farther, that shit is such an ego-boost. It feels really good and it motivates you to keep going. And of course, if you build it into your life (try to work out at around the same time every time) it becomes a habit and that in of itself helps with internal regulation. You even sorta start missing it if you have to miss a session. Habits and predictability in your daily schedule are really helpful when it comes to mental illness. So while exercise isn't a miracle cure, it can really really help, especially when you add good eating habits and a good sleeping schedule into the mix!

I hope this was all the help you needed but if you have extra questions just ask!

[mchiti]

Sis I truly don't like these Roma rumours. I want him to go AC Milan..

Aw don't worry anon, I like to dream and joke about it but I don't see neither of them happening rn lol!!!

In all seriousness, though. I genuinely hope AC Milan fans don't get mad at me for what I'm going to say, also because it has nothing to do with me supporting Inter instead. I joke about it but I don't really care much about derby rivalry and I wish the best option for him yeah? [family first as I say].

To be honest I just don't see AC Milan as the best option. Tbh I think they had some terrible transfer markets recently (and I say the same about Inter eh, but at least Inter is like, completely broke rn lol): look at Napoli to see how can you build up a high competitive squad even with the limited resources serie A teams have. To be honest if you take out Leao, Giroud and Theo, I find the rest of the team pretty mediocre to say the least and I think Pioli is quite limited as a manager. I know Roma doesn't sound like a fancy option to the world, but if you have Dybala+Abraham+ Ziyech plus players like Wijnaldum & Pellegrini midfield, I can assure you this is going to be the highest quality in Serie A and competitive in Europe also. No doubt they will play UCL next year with a squad like that. Roma is building and ongoing project with a strong vision that many other teams in serie A just don't have atm - inter, milan and juve included -. Oh and I also think Mourinho would know how to use Hakim's qualities in the best way. PLUS it might be stupid and not football related but: the centre-south of Italy is very Mediterranean in terms of the way of living. People are more open and friendly, and football fans warmer. Closer to what Morocco is and how Moroccans are, as a Moroccan in italy you can believe me when I think it would a great environment for him. I don't live in Rome but it's my favourite place. I think he deserves warmer fans who appreciate him now, because Chelsea truly played him dirty under many levels and that shows the stupidity of clubs that can spend so much with no visions long-term and no respect for each of their players individual qualities and strengths.

But yeah anon let's hope for the best!!! it's not like this is going to happen lool Also I'm sorry this is so long I'm just manifesting lol

[blessedwithabadomen]

LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO I'M SO EXCITED

oh god how I'd love to come home to those kinds of sounds!!

"The music extended for about five minutes, finishing with a long groaning wail from Noah and Oliver’s loud words that said ‘you taste fucking delicious, man’, followed by Noah’s embarrassed laugh." I CAN'T PUT INTO WORDS HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS

"“Pretty boy can’t go a day without cock.” - “Well, that makes two of us, then”" your dialogue is ON POINT with these three, I fucking love it

again: PLAYING VIDEO GAMES IN THE NUDE AND SIPPING COFFEE SOUNDS LIKE A PERFECT KINDA DAY TO ME, count me in

A FEW OTHER PURCHASES HMMM

"I could hear them discussing how good they looked" fucking cackling because that's 100% them

OLI IN A WHITE SHIRT SUPREMACY

oh dear, sounds like the idea of introducing them to her mother isn't quite a favourite of hers 😬

" It was a comforting gesture, but a lie anyway. " 😭😭

I MEAN, I DEFINITELY WOULD TURN AND STARE IF THOSE TWO ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS BREAHTTAKING HANDSOME TATTOOED MEN CAME INTO VIEW

"They looked at us as if wondering if I was fucking both these men. Truth was that indeed I was fucking both of them. They were fucking me, and they were fucking each other. It didn’t get any better than that." ghdaökfakjfhöasf YES (I hope my comments on this whole bonus scene aren't too nonsensical lmao)

uh oh sounds like the mother has a few issues she should absolutely be adressing in therapy instead of possibly using them against her daughter in a few paragraphs but alas

"Her boyfriend, too" ghkdöahföakdhfaös YES AAAHHH I'M SORRY I JUST LOVE THIS

TRAUMATISED ONES OH MY GOD I want to laugh but also my heart is breaking just that little bit because we obviously all know what prompted this and the fact that they still haven't forgotten and get scared about history repeating itself sometimes 😭😭😭 you're so fucking good at putting in these little details and referring to past chapters and I live for it

Marriage thoughts 👀👀👀 very interesting

"You don't have anything to worry about" he says as she's sliding into a panic attack lol

Oooooof guess someone was bound to recognise either of them at some point right? She definitely needs some fresh air and a drink possibly, poor girl, there's just entirely too much happening tonight

LMAO yeah you sorted that out alright

CRYING AT THE DESCRIPTION OF THESE TWO I LOVE IT SO MUCH 😭😭😭

"where Oliver stood, holding a little girl in his arms." FUCKING SQUEALING

"You don't have to" FUCK YES

HELP THAT'S TOO ADORABLE I CAN'T

I LOVE LILA

dgsjhksadhad babe, they'll do anything to help you out, how are you still surprised!!

OF COURSE THEY WOULDN'T JUST BOOK A ROOM WHERE'S THE FUN IN THAT lmao

how the fuck you manage to make these scenes so sensual I have no idea but I'm fucking gobbling it up like I'm starving

FHSKFKÖFJDAÖSÖAKDH NO UNDERWEAR I'M- I CAN'T - I DONT' OH MY GOD

"“We’ve been dying to fuck you all day. We’re going to get you off now with our mouth, but as soon as we get home, you’re going to have us both inside of you.”" V you're hella good the dirty talk and it kills me everytime

LMAO THAT WOMAN jesus christ she's got some issssues but YES Oli lool

OH NO THAT'S NOT THE GREATEST FIRST INTRODUCTION IS IT

😭😭 oh man that really didn't go well, I just want to five her a crushing hug until she feels better and ahhhhh 😭😭😭 but I loved this bonus so so much, I love that it went more into her life and her family and upbringing and shed light on why she is the way she is in some ways and it was so artfully crafted and !!!!! I JUST LOVE THE WAY YOU WRITE OK

INTO THE ABYSS OF BAD HABITS — BONUS SCENE

The engagement party | Series masterpost ✧.*

This takes place between part 4 and the epilogue. | Word count: 9.5k | Tags and tw: established polyamorous relationship, recurrent mentions of building anxiety throughout the entire text, recurrent mentions of religion, mentions of alcoholism and fractured families, parent's negligence, swearing, noah and oliver being traumatized boyfriends, slight jealousy, dirty talks, sexual content (including nudity in public spaces, oral sex, fingering, spankings, and slight hint at Noah having a high-heel kink. Also, Oliver just loves being on his knees).

I stood frozen in the hall, the shopping bags hanging from my hands as I sharpened my sense of hearing. The giggles I’d just heard coming from the bathroom faded, and soon, a long masculine moan took their place. 

            That was unmistakably Noah’s.  

            I was tempted to drop the bags and run to the bathroom in my apartment suite. However, the sounds that followed his first moan rooted me in place. I was suddenly consumed with curiosity; I was eager to hear whatever other sounds and words would follow from Noah and Oliver’s heated activities in the shower. 

            The music extended for about five minutes, finishing with a long groaning wail from Noah and Oliver’s loud words that said ‘you taste fucking delicious, man’, followed by Noah’s embarrassed laugh. 

            I busied myself preparing a cup of coffee in the kitchen when the two of them came out from the room and into the living room, having heard me rummaging through cabinets and drawers. 

            “Hi, boys,” I said with a grin on my face and eyebrows raised to them. 

            They were wrapped in a towel, hair all wet and stuck to their foreheads and necks. Both their knees were red, an acknowledgement at how intense and how reciprocating their activities had been in the shower.  

            “Enjoyed your shower?” 

            Oliver’s laugh resonated in the house. Noah came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, nuzzling my neck with his nose. His wet hair and the droplets of water still on his skin made me squirm in his arms. 

            “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Noah replied. 

            “Go slower. Yes, fuck, just like that. I’m pretty sure that was you.”

            “Can you blame him?” Oliver replied, leaning forward on the kitchen isle, looking intently at me and Noah. “Pretty boy can’t go a day without cock.”

            “Well, that makes two of us, then” I said, tilting my head to the side so that I could kiss Noah’s cheek. “Coffee?”

            “Yes, thank you.”

            Noah took a mug, and I served Oliver another. 

            They settled on the sofa, not bothering to remove the towels and get dressed. I had told them many times not to do that. I was worried that the wet stain would spoil the sofa, but they didn’t care, and if I insisted it only prompted them to make jokes about something else being wet and staining every other surface in the house. 

            As we enjoyed the next hour in a kind of slow motion, I took out my new dress from the bag and finally showed it to Noah and Oliver. My brother’s engagement party was in two days, and I was on the precipice of nerves and excitement.  

            The outfit I had carefully selected was a pastel-pink short-length dress that gracefully skimmed right above the knees, which gave a flirty and youthful vibe while keeping it elegant enough for the event. Its color on the satin fabric was delicate and perfect for this spring occasion. With its tight fit, the dress would accentuate every curve of my body. I would be lying if I denied I chose it while keeping in mind what it would do to Oliver and Noah once they saw me wearing it, along with my high-heeled white sandals. 

            “Have you tried on your suits, yet?” I asked, returning from the bedroom, where I hung the dress in the wardrobe. The expressions on their faces told me they hadn’t, and frankly, they didn’t seem too interested, either. “Boys! The party is in two days, and you don’t even know if the shirts we bought fit you.” 

            “They fit, baby,” Noah reassured casually, taking a sip of his coffee while Oliver’s hand idly traced over the knee Noah’s flower tattoo adorned. The TV droned in the background, and the Xbox controllers had migrated from their usual place on the TV stand to the coffee table. Was their plan for the day really just to play video games in the nude and sip coffee? 

            I arched an eyebrow.  

            “This is important,” I reminded them, not only because it was my brother’s engagement party but also because it would be the first time the three of us would be seen together as a couple. They were about to meet Jack’s fiancé, Sylvie, her family, and my mother. “We don’t have any other plans for the rest of the day, so here’s what we’re going to do: You two are going to try on your outfits and catwalk from the bedroom to the living room until I’m satisfied. Got it?” I waited. No response, so I took it as a yes. “Good.”

            Noah snorted, and Oliver raised an incredulous eyebrow.

            “You think you’re in a position to give orders? With two naked caffeinated men in the same room as you?” he quipped. 

            “Oh, please. Like it’s ever stopped me before,” I retorted with a roll of my eyes, diverting my attention to a bag in the kitchen counter that contained a few other purchases I had made that morning. 

            “Definitely not, and it’s always getting you in trouble,” Oliver replied.  

            “She definitely likes trouble,” Noah added, smirking, his eyes following me. 

            “Come on,” I insisted, growing desperate as I retrieved a small box containing new earrings from the bag. Noah and Oliver watched me expectantly, waiting for a reaction to their laziness. Finally, with an exasperated sigh, I dropped my shoulders in defeat. “Get rid of those towels and let’s get you into your outfits,” I said, marching over to the sofa and grabbing their hands in an attempt to coax them into action. 

            Predictably, they didn’t budge an inch, their raised eyebrows silently mocking my efforts. After a few moments, they burst into laughter at my expense before reluctantly following me to the bedroom, where they discarded their towels and allowed me to dress them. 

Two days later

At thirty minutes to seven, I was standing in front of the full-length mirror in the hall, flattening my dress and making sure my ass looked amazing. I was already wearing my high-heeled sandals and had applied some perfume from the bottle Oliver had gifted me last Christmas. Now, I was just waiting for the boys, who were inexplicably taking longer than expected to get ready. They had unceremoniously kicked me out of the bedroom before they had even donned their shirts or styled their hair, insisting on surprising me—as if I hadn’t already seen them in their outfits a couple of days prior. 

            As I stole another glance at my reflection, the muffled sounds of their conversation drifted through the closed door. I could hear them discussing how good they looked and playfully ribbing each other, smoothing down the shoulders of their buttoned shirts and exchanging compliments.

I would’ve verbalized how cute that felt from my position if it wasn’t for the sight that welcomed me when they emerged from the room. 

            As the door to the main bedroom swung open, Noah and Oliver emerged, both dressed impeccably, commanding my attention with their surprisingly refined sense of style. Their matching outfits had subtle variations that spoke about both the similarities and differences in their individual personalities. As I took in their appearance, a smile tugged at the corners of my lips, captivated by the sight of these two dashing and alluring figures. Each detail, from their meticulously chosen outfit to the glimpses of tattoos peeking out from beneath their partially unbuttoned shirts, added to their undeniable charm and left me utterly enthralled and in love.

            Noah led the way, clad entirely in sleek black, wearing tailored pants that hugged his legs with precision and shiny shoes that gleamed with every step. Beside him, Oliver followed suit, exuding a different yet equally captivating charm in his ensemble. He had chosen a crisp white shirt that provided a striking contrast against Noah’s darkness, but he pairedhim with similar tailored black pants and shoes.

            I was about to start drooling.

            “Am I supposed to keep my hands to myself all night?” I whispered as we made our way down in the elevator, the three of us unusually quiet and behaving like model citizens. We were anything but.

            “Let’s try to keep it nice and holy for Jack’s sake, shall we?” Oliver replied. “He’s already nervous enough about the fact that we’re both dating you.”

            “You’re right,” I sighed, feeling the weight of apprehension settle in my stomach. Noah squeezed my hand in reassurance and pressed a tender kiss to my hair, commenting on how delightful I smelled. 

            It wasn’t just Jack who was nervous; the butterflies in my stomach were in a frenzy, and I wasn’t sure if they would end up killing me. I knew the boys were sort of jittery, too. I was dead nervous, too, and I knew the boys were, too. 

            But this was inevitable. It was required. It had to happen sooner or later. The bandmates were already in the loop. Jack knew. Even Sylvie was clued in. But I still had to introduce them, and most importantly, introduce them to my utilitarian mother. The thought had kept me on edge for the past fortnight. 

            Once we reached the outdoor parking lot belonging to my condo, Oliver passed the car keys to Noah with a fluid motion, and he effortlessly caught them mid-air. Stupidly hot scenes like this one always left me awestruck, wondering once again how incredibly lucky I was to have both these men in my life and call them mine.  

             The car ride lasted no more than twenty minutes, during which we chatted casually. Oliver expressed concern about how he should behave and whether he needed to know anything specific about the people we were about to meet. I mentioned that Sylvie’s family was pretty religious, which added to my disquiet about the upcoming event. Jack had previously warned me about this aspect of Sylvie’s family. They had some old-school puritan roots, and while Sylvie herself wasn’t a follower and didn’t mind about my relationship with two men, her family might be shocked at the idea of a relationship of three. Normally, I would have brushed off their judgment, but it was my brother’s engagement party, and I wanted it to be memorable. I didn’t want to be judged, and I didn’t want anyone judging my brother for my decisions. 

            As I rambled on about my concerns, Noah sensed my insecurity and asked for my hand. He held it gently, giving it a reassuring kiss without taking his eyes off the road, assuring me that everything would go smoothly. It was a comforting gesture, but a lie anyway. None of us knew Sylvie’s family well enough to predict how they might react to our unconventional relationship dynamic. Besides, Noah was too calm, and that meant just the opposite: deep inside he was as agitated as I was and scared of screwing up.

            There was no possible way Noah could screw up that night, not even Oliver while we were at it.  They had it all together. They were both grown, mature, and educated men, and being with them as a real treat. They cared deeply about everyone around them and had hearts of gold.  

            If anything went sideways, it definitely wouldn’t be their fault. 

            And so it was, that the moment we stepped into the hotel lobby where Jack and Sylvie had organized the event and we walked through the doors to the function hall, all eyes turned towards us. Maybe it was Noah and Oliver’s towering frames and inked-up appearance that caught the attention, or perhaps it was the young woman between them, holding one’s hand and wrapping her other arm around the other’s waist. Either way, we definitely made an entrance.

            They looked at us as if wondering if I was fucking both these men. Truth was that indeed I was fucking both of them. They were fucking me, and they were fucking each other. It didn’t get any better than that.  

            With a friendly smile, we joined the crowd, exchanging greetings with some relatives and acquaintances with a casual wave of my hand, trying to keep our distance. I wasn’t keen on having to repeatedly clarify that Noah and Oliver weren’t just friends, but my boyfriends. There was only so much of that I could handle before feeling annoyed and exhausted. 

            Amidst the crowd, I head Jack’s voice calling out, “There’s my pretty sister!”

            I turned to find him, and as soon as I did, I wrapped my arms around him, letting him pull me into a warm embrace. He looked sharp in his black suit and silk tie, but more importantly, he looked genuinely happy, and that warmed my heart as well. 

            Growing up, Jack and I had had an ordinary childhood. We had our phases of intense animosity, during which we couldn’t stand each other, followed by periods where we simply pretended the other didn’t exist, especially during our teenage years. It wasn’t until adulthood that we truly began to appreciate the value of having a sibling—someone to rely on for support and friendship. Our upbringing was largely shaped by our mother and grandparents, as our father had left when I was just twelve years old. His struggles with alcoholism led to his frequent absences and eventual departure, leaving our family fractured. Our communication with him dwindled to just a couple of interactions per year, each of us speaking to him separately. Surprisingly, his lack of interested in his children may have been a blessing in disguise, as his absence didn’t weigh as heavily on Jack and me as it might have otherwise. In fact, I hardly noticed our father was gone until two months had passed, when Jack took me to his room, put a hand on my shoulder, and gently broke the news to me. 

            Although our father’s departure didn’t have a profound impact on me, it left a lasting mark on our mother, despite her insistence on the contrary. While she deserved an immense credit for raising Jack and me well, a part of her remained broken by the disappointment of her love story not unfolding as she had hoped. This disappointment sometimes manifested in her difficulty being optimistic and her resistance to unconventional ideas, particularly those that challenged the notion that life follows a perfect script of monogamous relationships and male dominance. She occasionally would express regret over divorcing our father, clinging to the belief that they could have salvaged their relationship and helped him overcome his struggles. However, my opinion on that didn’t quite agree with my mother’s, and neither did Jack’s. We had been too small to comprehend the extent of my father’s destructive behavior, but we had experienced enough to understand, much later, that it was very likely that his ways would have destroyed more than just a marriage.  

             I couldn’t help feeling apprehensive about introducing Noah and Oliver to my mother. I didn’t want her to perceive my relationship with them as wrong or to feat that I would get my heart broken not once, but twice. Moreover, I hoped she wouldn’t say anything hurtful to Noah and Oliver. She could be quite cold and harsh sometimes. 

             Noah and Oliver were well acquainted with my family background and my mother’s demeanor. In the days leading up to Jack’s event, I found myself wrestling with my own nerves, chewing my fingernails as I debated whether to attend alone or bring Noah and Oliver along. While they left the decision entirely up to me, they nudged me toward going together, recognizing that it was a step we would eventually need to take. It wasn’t that we were hiding our relationship, but the prospect of navigating non-traditional dynamics always brought a twinge of uncertainty.  

            Between the two of them, they helped me find the courage not only for that, but for many other things that, had I been alone, I probably wouldn't have done for fear of failure. 

            Oliver had his arm around me and gave my side a squeeze, reminding me that I had him on my right and could lean on him for anything. Noah squeezed my left hand. I took a deep breath. 

            “Thanks for coming,” Jack greeted us, shaking hands with Noah and then Oliver. After a brief moment of awkwardness, he laughed and pulled them both into hugs.  

            Thank goodness. 

            “I hope I didn't interrupt any concerts or important events.”

            “Not at all, man,” Oliver replied. “Besides, this is more important.”

            “Congratulations,” Noah said, giving Jack a pat on the shoulder.  

            “Thanks, man. It’s all a bit embarrassing, having to do this,” he commented, looking around, “but the bride’s family insisted, so…” When he looked at me, I gave him an understanding look. “By the way, I made sure to get some vegan options on the tables,” he informed, gesturing to the spread of foods and drinks on the tables. “Just look for the green sticker that says ‘vegan friendly’. Some of Sylvie’s friends are also vegan.”

            Oliver thanked him, and the conversation flowed from there, touching on both trivial and other more significant topics. Jack appeared slightly nervous, understandable given the attention on him and Sylvie that evening. Despite being accustomed to public speaking as a businessman, when it came to matters as personal as his love life, he couldn’t help but blush. It was endearing, reminding me of Noah, who used to flush at any mention of his affection for Oliver or whenever he was caught starting at him or at me.  

            After a few minutes of mingling, a familiar face approached Jack with an effusive greeting. It was Axel, one of Jack’s oldest friends from elementary school. They exchanged a brotherly hug, and Axel’s eyes widened in surprise when he noticed me. 

            He uttered my name in surprise, flashing a smile and opening his arms for a hug. 

            “I haven’t seen you in ages! How are you, beautiful?” 

            Behind me, I sensed Noah and Oliver tensing up, and If I had turned around, I would’ve seen them share a displeased look. 

            “I haven’t seen you since Jack and I graduated. You look fantastic,” he continued, his gaze roaming me up and down in appreciation but devoid of any hidden agenda. I wished I could have conveyed that assurance to Noah and Oliver, but before I could, Noah wrapped an arm around my waist, drawing me closer to him, while extending a hand toward Axel. 

            “Hey, I’m Noah. Her boyfriend.

            “Oh,” axel responded, shaking Noah’s hand. “Nice to meet you. I’m Axel and you’re…” he turned to Oliver. 

            “Oliver. Her boyfriend, too.”

            As Axel shook Oliver’s hand, he froze for a moment, blinking. Glancing at me for confirmation, I offered a slightly embarrassed smile. Not embarrassed by having two boyfriends, but by their reaction toward Axel. 

            “Wow, that’s a surprise,” he remarked honestly. “But hey, if you’re happy, why not? You only live once, right?” 

            I had hoped Axel’s lightheartedness would ease Noah and Oliver’s preoccupations, but they remained on high alert, sticking close to me like protective Rottweilers waiting for someone to try and bite their female. 

            “Cool tattoos, by the way,” Axel continued, noticing Noah and Oliver’s inked skin.  

            I silently thanked Jack as he joined Axel’s comment and both steered the conversation that way and then toward business and music, giving me a chance to scan the room for my mother. I needed to introduce her to my partners so that I could get that done with and then discreetly slip away to some quiet corner where I wouldn’t have to worry about someone catching sight of me being smooched by two men. 

            But she was nowhere to be seen, and my anxiety mounted. 

            Suddenly, I felt overwhelmed by hostile and unnecessary thoughts.     

            I quietly excused myself, explaining I needed a quick bathroom break. However, as I took a couple of steps away, Oliver grasped my wrist. When I looked up at him, I noticed an insecurity that always made me feel guilty.

            “I’ll be back in two minutes,” I reassured him in a whisper, and reached over to leave a kiss on his cheek. I cast a reassuring glance at Noah, too. 

            Before I got far enough away, I heard Axel’s inquisitive voice asking what prompted Oliver’s gesture. With honesty, Oliver admitted that he didn’t like letting me go to the bathroom alone. 

            “Why’s that?” Alex probed further; his curiosity piqued. “Are you two those type of overprotective boyfriends?”

            “No,” Oliver responded without tearing his gaze away from me, “we’re just traumatized ones.”

By the time I came back, the boys were still chatting to my brother, trying to keep the conversation going while Jack got interrupted every two minutes to greet someone who’d just arrived at the party.

            “I should better go mingle with the other guests before they suffocate my future wife with questions and useless chatter,” Jack said, interrupting himself with a look towards Sylvie. Then, turned to address Noah and Oliver, his tone turning into a warning. “You two, you know I like you, but I’ve already warned you that if you break my sister’s heart, I will…” 

            “Break our necks,” Noah finished. 

            “Yeah, we’ve been duly warned,” Oliver added.

            “Jack…” I muttered, rolling my eyes. “That’s unnecessary,” I said in a hushed tone. “They’re good guys.”

            “Yeah, I know what sort of good guys...” Jack began, his tone teasing, but I felt a pang of discomfort despite the laughter that followed from Noah and Oliver. 

            If the three of them started cracking sex jokes, I would never see the end of it. 

            “Jesus Christ, Jack,” I admonished, glancing around to ensure no one overheard. “It’s your engagement party.” 

            “Okay, okay. Sorry,” he conceded, raising his hands. “I just want to make a good impression on Sylvie’s family and…” He trailed off with a weary sigh, running a hand over his face. The strain of the evening suddenly seemed to weigh heavily on him. “I’m just on edge, sis. And it doesn’t help that you two being attached to my sister’s arms has raised a few eyebrows around here,” he added. 

            “Let them. I don’t care,” I said, but I wanted to tell him that I had also noticed and that I was just as nervous as he was. 

            “Yeah, I just have t struggle through the process of telling them these will be my brothers -in-law one day. Both of them,” Jack remarked, his tone resigned rather than resentful. He was not pissed or unhappy. He was just feeling the pressure of keeping everyone happy and maintaining appearances at the lengthy party. 

            But his words resonated in my brain.

            Brothers-in-law.

            That was something Noah, Oliver, and I had not talked about. 

            The words echoed in my mind, sparking a flurry of questions I hadn’t even asked myself.      Do I want to get married? 

            Do I want to marry them? 

            Would they want to marry me?

            Can we get married? 

            I didn’t even know if polygamy was legal in the United States, or in Europe, for that matter. No, it surely wasn’t, so what was in the cards for us? Could Jack ever call Noah and Oliver his brothers-in-law? Would it matter if it wasn’t recognized on paper? 

            I felt dizzy, but I managed to gather myself with a shrug and a simple declaration: “I’m not giving them up.”

            “I know,” was all he said, holding my gaze for a moment before pulling me aside. “Guys, excuse us for a second,” he said, leading me away. “What’s going on? This is about mom, isn’t it?”

            My anxiety spiked at the mention of her. I looked around, avoiding Noah and Oliver’s gazes.            

            “Did you talk to her?” I asked my brother, certainly dreading the answer.  

            “Yeah, I did,” he answered. He straightened up, placing his hands on his hips, “but it wasn’t easy. I’m not sure she…” he took a deep breath that felt like a knife twisting in my back, “understands.” Before I panicked, Jack touched my arm, grounding me. “But you don’t have anything to worry about, okay? She’s not going to freak out when she sees you with Noah and Oli, trust me. She won’t say anything. You just… keep it simple. Introduce them to her as you would any other friend.”

            “But they’re not just my friends, Jack,” I protested desperately under my breath. 

            “I know. And she knows,” he clarified, “but it’s better if you just keep names and labels off the table, at least for tonight.”

            Did I have any other choice? If I wanted the night to end well, I didn’t. Feeling defeated, I nodded. There was a cruel irony in loving someone and not being able to show it. 

            “Oh,” Jack added, “and I have definitely not said anything to Sylvie’s family.”

            “I guessed that much…” I muttered. I stole a quick look at Oliver and Noah, thinking that they didn’t deserve to be put in such situation. They probably didn’t care, but it still made me feel sad and guilty at the fact that there could be a bunch of people here tonight judging them. “So… My best friends.” The words tasted bitter on my tongue.

            Sensing my disappointment, Jack gently shook me by the shoulders. 

            “Baby sis, this is the world we live in. It’s complicated. People are complicated. But those two are yours, and nobody else’s. Enjoy the party, enjoy the food, and enjoy them. I mean, keep your hands to yourself. I’m not asking you to go all puritan for the night, but this is important for me.” 

            “Yeah, I know. You’re right. I just…” I fidgeted with my hands, still ignoring the background noise of people chattering and laughing while clinking their champagne glasses. “I’m scared of things getting complicated. With mom being the way she is after dad left, and her views on relationships, and everything else…” 

            If I was so much worried, I shouldn’t have come. And this night was about my brother, not about me and my love life situation. Get a grip on yourself, woman.

            “I need to get a drink. I’ll go say hello to the bride who, by the way, looks gorgeous.” 

            “She does, indeed,” Jack agreed, his smile lighting up at the sight of Sylvie. Maybe I wouldn’t have my mother’s support, but I had Jack’s. 

            With a kiss to Jack’s cheek, I made my way to the other side of the hall, where Sylvie stood. I wrapped her in a sweet hug. She looked radiant and joyful, her blonde hair falling over her shoulders, covered by the fabric of the white dress she was wearing. She immediately expressed her delight at my presence, alleging that she thought I would be in England at the time. I did, initially. When Jack and her told me about the engagement party date, I had tickets booked to fly to England. The trip was going to be two weeks, but given that this was way more important, we exchanged the tickets for ones for Oliver, so he ended up coming here and soon I confirmed the attendance of the three of us to the event. 

            After a brief catch-up about how thrilled she was about this event and making fun of my brother for his nerves, Sylvie leaned in and whispered, “so, where are they?”

            She was referring to Noah and oliver, whom she hadn’t yet met in person, but was understandably curious about. Despite coming from a family with very traditional views, Sylvie was refreshingly open-minded and accepting. She was a joy to be around. 

            But again, whenever her family would ask about those two guys covered in tattoos that seemed to be always glued to your sister-in-law to be, Noah and Oliver were my best friends. They were not stupid, though, and eventually they would have to deal with it because I wouldn’t keep this stupid façade up for much longer than tonight. 

            “Um,” I looked around, scanning the room until I spotted them, not far. Oliver was handing Noah a glass of champagne, which Noah declined, “they’re over there.”

            “The tall ones?”

            “Yeah, let me introduce you to them.”

            “Oh, they look goooood,” she said as she nudged my side and we started to navigate the crowd.

            I flushed as I dismissed her comment with a light shake of my head. 

            We made our way across the hall, making small talk with other guests along the way. When I finally introduced them to Sylvie, I realized that, at this point, we were all a family. 

            She greeted them with genuine warmth and excitement, her smile lighting up the room. The boys reciprocated, offering their congratulations on her engagement, and Oliver couldn’t help but compliment her dress, his cheeks turning a faint shade of red as she returned the praise, telling both of them that they looked very handsome. 

            It was comforting to know that there would be a good relationship between us, and that the fact that there were three of us was not a hindrance and was simply something that aroused curiosity in some. 

            As Sylvie engaged in a conversation about Oliver’s clothing line after expressing her admiration for both BMTH’s and Bad Omen’s music despite her preference for Taylor Swift —which elicited laughter from all of us after Oliver made a comment about it—, a sense of ease settled over me, a comfort I hadn’t expected amidst the earlier nerves. 

            But that comfort was short-lived as a young couple, likely around our age, approached us with wide-eyed astonishment, their focus fixed on Oliver. 

            Oh, no. 

            The moment the guy addressed him, my nerves surged to the surface once again.  

            “You’re the lead singer of Bring me the Horizon, right?” 

            I didn’t recognize the guy, and judging by Sylvie’s demeanor, she didn’t either. He must have been a distant relative from her family or possibly mine. But as I watched him and his girlfriend gush over Oliver, any thoughts about family ties evaporated, especially when the girl at his side also recognized Noah. 

            Crap. 

            I stood there, frozen, unable to intervene or steer the conversation away. It was Oliver who, sensing my panic, gave me a reassuring look and smoothly offered to get drinks for everyone. Noah and Oliver walked off with the young couple, leaving me behind with my heart pounding in my chest. 

            The last thing I needed that night was someone recognizing them. Now I was terrified at the prospect of news about Oliver, Noah, and I’s relationship spreading through both the media and my family at the same time. I needed things to go slow, but it seemed I had lost all control, and everything would spiral out of hand soon. 

            A sheen of sweat began to form on my skin, my back clammy with anxiety. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the group until Sylvie spoke again, pulling me out of my trance. 

            “How do you guys manage it?” 

            “What?” I blinked, turning to face her. 

            “How do you do it?” she repeated, a curious gleam in her eyes. “The three of you. I mean, the dynamics, jealousy, all that. I don’t want to pry into your personal life, but I’m curious, if I can be honest. Also, about your sex life,” she added, making a funny face. 

            A nervous chuckle escaped me. I was grateful for the distraction.  Sylvie was like a sister to me. It’s not like I was very open about discussing those things. My personal life was private, especially considering that I was sharing it with two famous people. 

            “How do you manage it?” Do you ever doubt you each other? Not questioning your relationship, just…” Her tone was gentle and curious. 

            “I know,” I replied. “Sometimes I wonder the same thing: how do we manage it,” I let out a small laugh. “But it’s just… about feeling, and letting those feelings flow, I guess. And of course, communication. Everything becomes easier when there’s communication,” I explained, hearing Oliver’s voice in my head. “As for jealousy… Yes, there was jealousy initially. I cannot begin to tell you how we sorted that out…” I said, holding a laugh and remembering Oliver seated on his sofa, with Noah kneeled between his legs, me sitting on the opposite side of the couch, my hand between my own legs, watching them. “Everything’s okay now,” I concluded to avoid getting into details. 

            “And aren’t there days when you want to be with one more than the other? Or when they prefer to be alone?” 

            “Hmm. It’s not exactly like that,” I mused, giving it a thought as I glanced over my shoulder, but Noah and Oliver had already disappeared from my sight, leaving me with a tightening know in my stomach. “There are days when I need Noah more and others when I need Oliver more, but it’s because they’re different people,” I explained. “Oliver is more carefree, more experienced with certain things. He’s older, so… When it seems like the world is crashing down on Noah and me, Oliver is the one who manages to show us that it’s not that bad. He’s funny, more sociable. Noah, on the other hand, is more focused, more dedicated. He struggles with vocalizing his feelings, but this relationship has helped him a lot. And me… Well, I’ve always tried to be rational and brave, but sometimes doubts and fears overwhelm me. They best thing they have provided me with is clarity. I see things differently now, and I don’t hesitate that often to take any step I need. I think we complement each other very well. What one lacks, the other has.”  

            I explained that our relationship wasn’t so different from a monogamous one, all things considered. Simply put, we were three. We had to buy more food every week and have a bed big enough for all of us. While we were in Los Angeles, the three of us were staying at my small apartment, and one of us always ended up sleeping on the couch because my bed wasn’t spacious enough. 

            “And have you thought about finding a place for the three of you?” Sylvie asked, her eyes shining with interest. “I mean, I assume you’re serious. You look very good and very secure with each other. It’s wonderful, honestly. So have you considered looking for a bigger apartment or a house?”

            “We’re considering it,” I replied. “Oliver has his family in England, but he wouldn’t mind moving here. Anyway, both he and Noah spend half their time traveling, so it’s not really a hassle to have residence here or there. Noah is still climbing a mountain with Bad Omens and has a way to go. It’s important for him to be here, with the rest of his bandmates. He’s a workaholic. Us going to England wouldn’t be a good idea.”

            “Well, he could join your brother’s club, then,” Sylvie joked. 

            “Yeah, I know. Sometimes he takes on too much responsibility,” I chuckled, referring to Jack. 

            As our conversation continued, we moved to another corner of the venue, joining Sylvie’s closest friends. We laughed, drank, and danced, momentarily forgetting the complexities of our lives. 

            The hours slipped away unnoticed, and before I knew it, an hour and a half had passed without seeing Oliver or Noah. My mother’s absence was also troubling me at this point. 

            Approaching Jack as he was released from a group of older guests, I whispered urgently, “Where’s mom? Do you think she’s avoiding m—?”

            “Please,” he interrupted, saying my name. “It’s not like that. Of course she wants to see you and meet them. Maybe she’s not thrilled, but she’s curious. At least give her that.”

            “Curiosity isn’t always a good thing,” I remarked. 

            Jack dropped his shoulders. “She was talking to Sylvie’s aunt a while ago, over there.”

            Following his finger, I spotted Noah instead, a girl not much younger than me talking cheerfully to him. She seemed overly eager, her hand reaching out to touch him. A surge of annoyance rose within me, mirrored by Jack’s expression. 

            Sensing my stare, Noah turned to me with a plea for help in his eyes. Knowing his desire to make a good impression for my sake and my brother’s, I imagined he was struggling to dismiss the girl politely. 

            “He’s in trouble,” I observed. 

            “Look like it,” Jack chuckled. “That’s Sylvie’s friend’ sister. I don’t even know her name, but by the looks of it, Noah probably does by now. She looks like a…”

            “Predator,” I finished. “Hold my drink.” Passing my glass to Jack, I made my way towards Noah and the girl, with Jack cheering me on behind. 

            By the time I reached them, the girl had already touched Noah’s arm, ignoring the step that Noah took back. 

            “Hey,” I greeted, positioning myself next to Noah, effectively forcing the girl to withdraw her hand. “I see you’ve met my boyfriend. You’re on of Sylvie’s friend’s sisters, right?” I said, extending my hand. 

            She hesitated, confusion evident on her face as she glanced between Noah, me, and the room. 

            “Uh, yes, I am,” she replied vaguely, omitting her name. “But…” She glanced at Noah again, perhaps hoping he would declare his single status. “I was told your boyfriend was over there,” she continued, gesturing to where Oliver stood, holding a little girl in his arms.

            “Yeah, that’s my boyfriend,” I clarified, traying to maintain composure at the sight across the hall. “The other one is right here,” I added, wrapping my arms around Noah’s and resting my head on his shoulder. Feeling Noah relax against me and pressing a soft kiss to my hair, I shot him a soft smile. 

            “I don’t understand,” the girl admitted, her embarrassment evident as a blush crept up her cheeks.

            “You don’t have to,” I replied curtly. “Nice to meet you. We’ll see you around.” 

            With that, I led Noah away, his polite smile directed at the girl before he sighed heavily against my hair. 

            “Thank you for that,” he murmured. 

            “I blame your pretty face,” I said as we made our way towards Oliver. It wasn’t the first time Noah had attracted unwanted attention. His looks could literally make anyone salivate and bring them to their knees. Me, first. And it didn’t help that he knew exactly how good he looked… But he decided not to do anything about it, and then he found himself in situation like the one I just saved him from. 

            “Who’s that?” Noah asked, noticing Oliver with the little girl in his arms. 

            “The little girl? Lila,” I answered. “She’s the daughter of one of my mom’s nieces.”

            Approaching the scene, the sight before me made me feel something unknown in the pit of my stomach. Oliver was holding Lila close to him, his head a bit back so that he could look at her and make funny faces to the four-year-old kid as she inspected the designs on Oliver’s face, neck, and chest. Her mother stood just a couple of feet away, examining the scene with a tender smile as she chewed on some snacks. 

            “What is he doing?” Noah questioned, observing Oliver’s interaction with Lila. 

            “And this one?” Lila asked Oliver, touching one of the small tattoos peaking from his chest. 

            “Oh, that one! “Oliver responded cheerfully, “I let my nephew paint on me with magic pens and guess what, now it can’t be removed!” 

            Lila covered her mouth with her hands, copying Oliver’s look of shock. Then, she said, “But it’s nice!” 

            “You really think so?”

            “Yeah!”

            “Maybe I should let people draw on me with magic pens more often, then.”

            “Hmm, yes, but…” she continued, tilting her head to explore Oliver’s displayed skin with a frown, “you have no more space!” she exclaimed tragically, opening her arms and folding her hands out in a cute way, as if telling Oliver there was nothing to do.

            “Well, the color on the flower on my neck has faded, so if you want, I’ll let you color it next time.”

            “Really?” She was delighted at his offer.

            “Yeah, what do you say?” 

            “Yes!”

            “Good. Oh, look who’s coming,” Oliver said, noticing me and Noah approaching. 

            Lila smiled at me, happy to see me, but when she saw Noah, her eyes went wider again. 

            “Hi,” Noah greeted her.

            “Are you Oli’s brother?” Lila asked.

            Oliver chuckled. “Not exactly my brother, love.”

            “Is he the one that did all those other drawings on your neck and arms, then?”

            “No, but I’m sure he’ll let you paint on him, too,” Oliver added, casting Noah a tender look that would have made me melt if it wasn’t because we were in a public space.  

            “Sure,” Noah replied, playing along.

            “Is that an apple?” Lila asked upon noticing Noah’s neck. She had been eyeing him since the moment she spotted us.  

            Noah nodded. 

            “And a snake?! Snakes are scary!” 

            “Should I cover it up?” Noah suggested, but Lila shook her head. 

            “It’s scary but I like it.”

            “She loves scary things”, her mother interrupted. “I don’t understand where she picked that up from. Her father, probably. Lila, sweetie, why don’t you come back with me and dad?”

            “Okay,” Lila agreed, reaching for her mother’s arms. Oliver let her go, and we engaged in a brief conversation with Lila’s mom before Oliver promised Lila a dance later that evening.

            Finally alone, I rested my head on Oliver’s chest, feeling Noah’s hands massage my shoulders. 

            “Hungry?” Noah asked. 

            “Not really,” I replied. 

            “You’re tense, baby,” he observed, his fingers pressing into my skin. “No need to be.”

            “Still haven’t seen your mom?” Oliver inquired, his hands on my hips. 

            “I haven’t actively been looking, but yeah, I haven’t seen her yet, and I’m dreading the moment we meet her. It’s keeping me on edge. I’m not able to truly enjoy the party.”

            “Want us to take that edge off?” He whispered. 

            I lifted my head in surprise. “What, now? Here?”

            “Why not?”

            “…No, not a good idea,” I hesitated, glancing at Noah, who seemed equally eager to please. 

            “I think we’ve already made a pretty good impression,” Oliver said. “What have you been up to, huh?” He asked Noah. 

            “Causing a good impression, too, apparently,” he joked, clearly thinking about the way the girl from before had caged him into a stupid conversation. 

            I huffed with a roll of my eyes. 

            “All right, love,” Oliver decided, taking my hand. “You’re definitely on edge, and we’re going to take that edge off right about now.”

            “Oli…” I started, but Noah urged me to follow. 

            “Come on,” Noah insisted, guiding me with a hand on my lower back. “Let’s find a quiet place.”

            It wasn’t difficult to locate one in the vast hotel. Despite the option of simply booking a room on one of the upper floors, Oliver and Noah seemed determined to add an element of excitement to the night. 

            Eventually, we found ourselves in a housekeeping storage room. 

            “In here?” I questioned, feeling uncertain as I looked around me, at the shelves full of piled towels and bedsheets, boxes containing shampoo and gel bottles, toothbrushes and hand cream. 

            “In here,” Noah affirmed, standing close behind me, his hands settling on my hips while Oliver found the switch to get the lights on. He leaned in, his lips brushing against my ear. “Now, whose mouth do you want on your pretty pussy?”

            I swallowed hard, meeting Oliver’s gaze as he walked to me. He stood in front of me, exuding confidence in that fucking attractive white shirt and with that smirk playing on his juicy lips. 

            I wasn’t sure about this. A voice in my head urged us to leave before we got caught, reminding me that this is not what we should be doing. We should be outside, enduring whatever we had to endure because it was my brother’s engagement party and my anxiety was no reason to hide away. 

            However, Noah and Oliver couldn’t be dissuaded. 

            “Your eyes are already saying yes,” Oliver said, his thumb grazing my lower lip and pulling at it gently. “We just need your mouth to tell us the same.”

            And just like that…

            “Yes.”

            “That’s the word that changed everything, isn’t it?” Noah murmured against my ear, his lips tracing soft kisses along my hairline. 

            Oliver’s lips met mine, the kiss slow and intense. Pressing against me, he sandwiched me between himself and Noah. Noah’s hands explored my body, one resting on my stomach while the other tugged at the strap of my dress, exposing one of my breasts to the chill of the room, causing my nipples to harden. 

            Despite our seclusion, the sounds of the outside world persisted— voices footsteps passing by—as Noah whispered lewdly in my ear and Oliver trailed kissed down my neck to my bare breast, quickly driving me away from the distressing situation in the function hall. His hand ventured up my thigh, sliding under the hem of my dress. 

            “So soft. Always so—” Oliver halted abruptly, and I closed my eyes.

            Caught. 

            “You gotta be kidding me.”

            “What?” Noah asked, halting his actions, too. I longed for his touch and the way he worshiped me the moment he stopped. 

            “Doll, you’re not wearing any underwear,” Oliver acknowledged. 

            “Aware,” I admitted with the same casualness as if I had said ‘oops’. 

            “No joke. You’ve been bare all this time?” Noah questioned, lifting my chin to turn my head toward him. 

            “Since we left the apartment,” I replied softly. 

            I sensed all my worries draining down as I felt them giving into my not-so-innocent game. With their attention focused solely on me and the anticipation building, my anguish melted away, turning into something totally different. With them by my side and the heat rising, I knew I could surrender to them and they would take care of everything else. 

            “Jesus Christ, woman.” Oliver lifted the dress up to my navel, exposing me to his hungry green eyes. 

            “You’re a naughty little thing,” Noah growled in my ear. His words were accompanied by a playful slap on my butt, eliciting a wince and a suppressed moan that mingled pain and pleasure. “You planned on getting fucked at some point, didn’t you?” His voice trailed off as Oliver’s fingers continued their journey towards the spot between my thighs. 

            Yes, because I thought that might be the only way to distract myself from my panic. 

            I made that decision while panicking. 

            But here we were, weren’t we?

            “Just so you know,” Oliver whispered, nibbling on my earlobe. Noah’s kisses were peppered along my neck, the tip of his tongue softly licking at my skin. “We’ve been dying to fuck you all day. We’re going to get you off now with our mouth, but as soon as we get home, you’re going to have us both inside of you.”

            I gripped Oliver’s shirt, trying to steady myself as their words and soft touches turned me into a mess. 

            “So, who’s it going to be, kitten? Just give us a name,” Noah urged. 

            I felt Oliver’s lips curve into a smile against my mouth. Opening my eyes, I was captivated by the green depths I found myself staring at. 

            “Do you want my mouth, babydoll? Yeah, you do. Noah got you off twice last night with his. You’ve been missing me, haven’t you?”

            “Please?”

            “There’s the magic word.”

            And in two seconds, he was on his knees. 

            “It seems all I’ve been doing lately is getting on my knees for you two,” he mentioned, seizing one of my legs and lifting it effortlessly. I observed intently as he draped it over his shoulder, drawing me closer to him, my core inches from his face. “Not complaining, though.”

            I inhaled deeply, but the breath was knocked out of me when Noah spanked me once more, propelling my body forward, my center meeting Oliver’s eager and warm mouth. 

In less than five minutes, I was unable to support my own body weight, my legs feeling like jelly and shaking as Oliver’s tongue and two fingers guided me through my orgasm, no mercy. 

            Meanwhile, Noah’s erection rubbed against my bare ass, one hand teasing my breast while the other steadied me against his chest, his seductive kisses sending shivers down my spine. 

            “As soon as we get home, I’m stripping you naked, but those heels are staying until I’m through with you,” Noah’s voice echoed in my head as I tried to recover from my orgasm. 

            Once Oliver made sure Noah was holding me, he stood up and fetched some wipes to clean me up, his own arousal evident in his pants. Turning back with a tissue box in hand, I saw the mess I had made on his mouth and felt a bit of embarrassment. But he just smiled, always happy to get me into this state and provide one orgasm after another. 

            Cleaning me up, he then adjusted my dress to cover me properly, ensuring my modesty, —if you could call it that—. Leaning against Noah, I caught my breath, feeling immensely grateful for the quick escape they had provided me.  

            Oliver wiped his mouth, purposefully licking his lips in front of me to tease me. I was about to throw myself into his arms to kiss him when, just as he tossed the used paper ball into a small garbage can in the corner and as Noah pulled up the strap of my dress, the door to the room swung open. 

            “Oh, excuse me. I was looking for the re—”

            We froze as an old small woman appeared in front of us, her eyes widening at the scene in the storage room. Her grey eyes fell on Noah’s hand as he hurried to get the strap of my dress on properly. And as inevitable as it was, she noticed my position, locked between two male bodies, and then, obviously, on the huge bulges the two men had in their pants. 

            “Oh, in the Lord’s name!” she exclaimed, recoiling in shock with a hand covering her mouth. “You three…” She stepped back, and despite her words, Noah took a tentative step towards her, thinking that if she passed out, someone would have to hold her before she hit the ground, “you three are going to Hell!”  

            Oliver, ever so calm, responded, “I’ve been told people are having one hell of a good time down there.”

            I wanted to pick up a bunch of those toothpaste tubes from one of the boxes and fill Oliver’s mouth with the cream. Maybe that would force him to keep his mouth shut. 

            I was blushing furiously, my body starting to shake again. I was going to combust at some point that night for sure. 

            From the clothes the old lady was wearing, the jewelry and makeup, it was obvious she belonged to the party group, not some random guest staying at the hotel. She hurriedly left, probably traumatized, and left us in a tense silence.

            Noah gave Oliver a disapproving slap on the shoulder.

            “Why did you have to say that, man?”

            Oliver shrugged his shoulders, offended. “Do you really think she’ll go telling everyone about what she saw?”  

            Yes, that’s exactly what I thought she was going to do. And then Sylvie’s family would haunt me down and burn me like a witch. 

            “No,” Oliver continued confidently. “She’ll be too embarrassed to admit she stumbled upon three people doing nasty things in the housekeeping storage room.” He touched my shoulder and hair, noticing my stiff posture. He tucked some strands of hair behind my ear. “Doll, believe me, there’s nothing to worry about.”

            But Noah’s heavy sigh next to him betrayed the lack of credibility in Oliver’s words and my own concern. 

            “We didn’t do anything wrong,” he defended himself. “I’m sure her husband hasn’t given her an orgasm in fifty years. Did you see the look on her face when she realized Noah and I were hard as stone?” 

            Were, indeed, because their erections were gone now. 

            Adjusting the spaghetti straps of my dress and smoothing the fabric covering my thighs, I shot him a glare that was met by his mischievous smile and the seizing of my hips as he tried to tickle me, forcefully eliciting my laughter quickly enough. 

            We exited the room after Noah made sure nobody was passing by. My laughter echoed down the hallway as I attempted to wriggle free from Oliver’s playful grasp. I grabbed Noah’s outstretched hand, letting him lead me to the function hall, but Oliver clung to me, trying his best to calm mine and Noah’s new nerves. It wasn’t as easy as home, though, where we had all the time in the world to sort ourselves out and breathe in and breathe out until everything seemed to be in place again. 

            Back in the hall, the last twenty minutes of distraction seemed to fade away with a finger snap. Oliver, in his attempt to distract us from worrying about what that old lady thought and what the consequences of being caught could be, decided to continue by nibbling at our necks. Noah wasn’t having it, though, and pulled away with a warning look and a tug on my hand, which caused his attention to slip and nearly collide with a tall elderly woman passing by. 

            “I’m sorry, ma’am,” Noah apologized.

            When my eyes met hers, a knot tightened in my throat to the poing of threatening to choke me. 

            “Mom,” I stammered out, the word barely audible amidst the turmoil around me and within me.       

            Her response was as expected —a cold and critical glare that seemed to pierce through me with precision. 

            Her scrutinizing gaze swept over us, dissecting every detail with unnerving accuracy. From the nervous tension in Oliver’s and Noah’s posture to the telltale of our indiscretions, no aspect escaped her keen observation; my hands clasped one in Noah’s hand and the other in Oliver’s, the wrinkles on Noah’s shirt, the sweat stains on Oliver’s, the red marks on my neck…

            “I’ve been looking for you for a while,” I managed to croak out, the weight of her scrutiny crushing my voice into a mere whisper. 

            “Of course you have,” she replied, her tone laced with skepticism, a sardonic smile playing on her red lips. 

            She was draped in a flowing light green dress that accentuated her elegance. Her hair, now cropped shorter than the last time I’d seen her, cascaded around her slim shoulders. Her right hand held a glass filled with champagne. She was beautiful, she looked radiant, impressive, …and I had just screwed up.  

            This was exactly the way I did not want to introduce the boys to my mother, just right after one of them had just had his head buried between my legs and the other had been nibbling on my neck and playing with my nipples while his erection pressed against my ass.

            I couldn’t see my reflection, but I could imagine my face at that moment.

            The irony in my mother’s tone made my legs weak. 

            “Mom, these are…” I stuttered, releasing their hands as I gestured towards Oliver and Noah. My mother’s prolonged stare felt like a weight that I wouldn’t be able to hold on my shoulders. "Noah, and Oliver."

            “My pleasure,” Oliver said, attempting to inject some semblance of ease into the strained moment. Noah remained silent, just nodding while his cheeks remained flushed. I wanted to get him out of there immediately. 

            “Sure it is,” my mother responded, her tone carrying the same ironic edge that had unsettled me a few moments ago. It was clear she saw through the façade; she knew exactly what we had been doing. 

            Earth swallow me.

            “Sylvie’s parents are expecting me,” my mother announced, her voice cutting. With a final nod, she disappeared into the crowd, leaving me feeling exposed and defeated. 

            The cacophony of voices around me intensified, engulfing me in a suffocating bubble. The walls seemed to press in, the frenzied movements of the crowd making my head spin, and waves of heat threatened to consume me. In my periphery, I caught glimpses of Oliver and Noah, their lips moving, but their words dissolved into the maelstrom, lost to my ears.

            “I need to get out,” I gasped, my voice trembling.

            It took an eternity to wrench off my heels, my hands trembling as I fumbled with the straps. One of the boys lunged forward, his grip tightening around me as he sensed my impending collapse, but his touch slipped away as I frantically pivoted away, heels in hand.

            Each breath grew more labored as I ran towards the exit, a weight crushing my chest, every fiber of my being screaming for escape. With pounding heart and trembling limbs, the last thing I heard were the echoes of two male voices calling my name. 

Taglist: @girlfromrussia-universe | @oro-e-diamanti | @lma1986 | @missduffsblog | @bngurngheart | @winterwinchester | @jilliemiw86 | @sorrowsofsilence | @th4t-em0-k1d | @to-be-written | @thescarlettvvitch | @nonamessblog | @somebodyels3 | @starsomens | @ditto66 | @dominuslunae | @cookiesupplier | @midnight-eternals | @pennysky | @iknownothingpeople | @cncohshit | @ladyveronikawrites | @blackveilomens | @robabankfuckmickeymouse |@kageyasma | @concretedaddy2018 | @silentglassbreak | @thescarlettvvitch | @sammyjoeee | @pathion

[launch-cronch]

Do you still write? Is there anything you're comfortable sharing? I just miss your writing a lot, I'm so sorry if this ask made you feel uncomfortable!

I assume this is from my klk days. Ugh, no, I have to face it. I'm so sorry I abandon fic. I still think about everything I left. And I still write, slightly, but I get massive writer's block and abandon things from the start. I just can't focus my brain very long.

I did a dbz oc reader x piccolo fic most recently (lool) it's Wizard Killer on fanfiction dot net. And yes, it's unfinished because I suddenly wondered if I was wasting time on something stupid when I should be writing original things. The truth is, I can't do that, either. (lmao!!)

[corvidspectre]

A Path to Trace

DannyMay Day 1

Prompt: Crossing

Ao3

Wordcount: 1170

Summary:

Danny imagines that as he is on the precipice of a choice, he is on the precipice of death, also. These events are undoubtedly intrinsically linked. He could imagine this cold numbness, the detached reality and the comfort of existence replaced with a fuzzy numbness, as death. Life seems so far away. But the other side, across the bridge that lies before him, somehow, is a mix of both, the energy in the air even from here was palpable. It was ridden with vitality, and undeniable life, even in the serenity of death.

He doesn't quite let the silence stretch eons, but he knows he could.

Danny's eyes fluttered open, and he did not know where he was.

He was aware this should be worrying, concerning even, but the awareness was distant. The feeling was distant. It was as if everything was on mute, like there was a blanket of fuzziness over his own corporeality. He felt out of body, lacking the heaviness of life. It would have been relieving, had he the capability to even remember what relief would feel like in his numb state.

The surroundings are boundless, endless fields behind him, and he is struck with some likeness to the fields of asphodel in the history myths Jaz went through a phase of loving, once upon a memory. They are peaceful, plain and mundane, yet they're enticing in a sense that one could waste away hours in them and not even realize. Directly in front of him however, is a bridge, shaky but wide, stretching over a bottomless chasm seeping into darkness before seeing an end. The land it leads to is hazy and obscured, an unclear path. It seems distinctly green, swamp like and bursting with life. Green goop glowing in a way that was reminiscent of toxic waste hung from trees and clumped in neon puddles, but it seemed... natural. Like there was a balance between this toxicity and the bursting blooms of blossoms and black roses littering the lush grass. He could just make out a path, leading from the bridge, but it didn't look much travelled.

He couldn't recall coming here, and couldn't think to where he could ever have seen it before. It didn't seem like he could dream it.

The last thing he remembered was... electricity? Green, static, pain, lighting flashes and then nothing. Then here. What had even happened to him?

Was he... dead?

He felt like his emotions were melting in horror, fear, confusion, shock, but slightly to the left. He was sure they were there but they were detached, somehow. Belligerent, vigorous, unabashed amounts of indisputable terror, but slightly to the left. Suddenly, he notices a hollow cold in his chest, like there's ice weighing down his lungs and drawing his heart into a frigid wasteland of not beating. Because it isn't. Beating.

Was this the clutches of death slipping it's claws into his skin before dragging his life from his body, or was this the aftermath?

“You're not quite dead, yet. You have a choice to make first.”

The voice is echoing, but strong, and loud. He whirls around towards the fields, but no movement occurs. There's a small breeze, but not enough to make anyone feel anything, barely enough to move the grass; could it even be called a breath? He looks back out towards the bridge, and there is a figure that was noticeably not there before standing half way across, exactly. He has snow white hair, and glowing green eyes. The same green of the goop emitting the faint glow on the other side. Darker skin than Danny, but their faces... they could probably be twins. He is an inversion, and a doppelgänger, but Danny, even if he could feel, would feel a calmness seeing him. He is not alone, even if he is only joined by himself.

“What choice?” Danny's voice is thinner, and reedier than he would have liked, but again, cannot find it in himself to care. The figures face is blank, and his voice is devoid of tone. The only movement he makes is his mouth as the words tumble out.

“To cross the bridge, or to not. You will only get this time to make this choice. Your choice, is final.” Where the breeze is faint where Danny stands, a strong gust of wind falls over the other side as he speaks. Everything over there seems more dynamic, dripping with vitality, although they share a similar tranquillity. They are not the same, nor are they opposed, but they are different. Not quite a dichotomy; more like a mix of one and something he can't quite recall. There were other places, once. The other side, as similar as it is to where he now stands, is also similar to there, in a way the land under his feet will never be. He knows this fundamentally, but he doesn't know how.

He imagines that as he is on the precipice of a choice, he is on the precipice of death, also. These events are undoubtedly intrinsically linked. He could imagine this cold numbness, the detached reality and the comfort of existence replaced with a fuzzy numbness, as death. Life seems so far away. But the other side, across the bridge that lies before him, somehow, is a mix of both, the energy in the air even from here was palpable. It was ridden with vitality, and undeniable life, even in the serenity of death.

“What will happen if I stay?”

“You will stay.”

“And if I cross?”

“You will follow the path.” He speaks with your own eerie voice. “It is not a path many have ever walked; it is not one many ever will. But you should know, though the choice is yours, so is this path. It is your destiny, to both choose and refute.”

He doesn't quite let the silence stretch eons, but he knows he could.

“Is the path a good one to take?” He rasps, and though there is a quietness about him, his voice still carries. A gleam enters his doppelgänger's eyes.

“It is a treacherous path at times, and you will encounter many hardships. But it is the only path you have left to take, and only you can find out when it ends, and what good you will find along the way. It is a half-life, but still, a life”

Danny had not moved before now, and is cautious in this, his terse first step towards the bridge. Another, and he is confident he will not fall. Will not falter. Will take his path.

There was really never any choice at all, he thinks. He was never meant to stay in that field of nothingness, empty and brokenly peaceful, a trap of mundanity and non awareness. The more he walks, further away from the fields, the more he feels, and he once again begins to breathe, and his blood just might flow, and his heart just might beat. The Doppelgänger does not move as Danny breaks into a run, but he grins sharply, and as Danny runs into him, he feels lightning ripping through his veins, the neon sludge choking him and a million green suns burst behind his eyelids but his body does not stop running.

Danny will never be alive again. But he can still live, he thinks, if only a half-life. What else is there to do?

Danny crosses the bridge.

With a deep breath, he takes the first step onto his fated path. Darkness envelopes him and he embraces this darkness, willingly falls into the endless void of an in-between.

And then, he wakes up.