#sorry it's been a while. it's my last finals week of my college career and I'm so damn tired

[heavendraven]

[REACTION SPEED - IMPOSSIBLE] Gracefully step OVER the cat

[maximoffcarter]

We can't be friends.

Pairings: Casey Novak x reader.

Summary: Casey Novak's girlfriend seemed to be the perfect one after college, but focusing fully on her job was not exactly helpful to her love life. After years, she comes to find her past lover again, only this time...things had changed.

A/n: Surpriiiiise✨ This was requested by an anon a looong time ago when I said you guys could request song fics, and I am truly sorry haha🥴 Most of the requests I have are old, so bear with me, promise I'm getting all requests. And yes...this is angst. No second part I'm afraid🥲 But fluff will come...eventually. And I promise that more Calex, more Alex, and more Casey are coming soon. I'll try to finish the requests I have, and hopefully there will be more to come. Hope you guys enjoy this, leave comments, hearts, whatever you like and reblog so this gets some love🫶🏻

*not my gif*

It all started like the perfect love story; Casey and y/n met at the coffee shop where Casey was working at the time. It had been an accident, Casey running into y/n and almost throwing the coffee she had in hands, and to apologize, Casey invited her a coffee and that’s where the spark began. Y/n thought it was cute how Casey had done everything to apologize even if she had done nothing, after all and after rethinking of their incident, y/n figured out it had actually been her fault, but neither said a thing, because both of them actually enjoyed talking toe ach other, and that’s where it all began. Weeks later, they had created a routine where y/n would show up and study while she waited for Casey to finish her shift, then both of them would spend the whole afternoon together until it was time to go separate ways. In y/n’s mind, Casey was the perfect person, the girl of her dreams; she was sweet, she was cute, she was kind, she was beautiful, she was smart, she was not afraid to be who she was.

Their relationship started after a few dates and a night of drinks where both of them confessed their love for each other, and y/n thought she was living the best love story she had ever seen or heard of. They both understood their careers, having some hectic hours at times, having to focus on finals or projects, at times they barely had time to see each other but they both knew they would be waiting for one another. And then, Casey asked her to move in with her, and things couldn’t have been more perfect. Mornings and nights together, every now and then their afternoons were also spent together, the whole living room floor full of papers, books, and notebooks, but they couldn’t have it any other way, not when they were together. They were both soon to graduate, and they were already looking at their professional lives, but something they had never mentioned was their future. It was something neither of them had thought about. They had already been dating for the last two years, the conversation didn’t seem important, and yet, y/n couldn’t help but keep it in mind.

“Case…I gotta ask you something.” Y/n bit her lip nervously as she stared at Casey.

Casey raised her brow curiously as she smiled. “Alright…what is it?”

Y/n sighed softly as she smiled. “I know we both agreed that we want to stay here in New York, that’s decided…but…do you really see a future…with me?”

“Oh, baby.” Casey chuckled softly as she moved close to y/n, wrapping her arms around her, kissing her forehead softly. “Do you really believe that I’d want anything else? Why wouldn’t I see it?” She smiled softly, her fingers running through y/n’s hair. “I’m not sure what the future holds for us but…I want you in it.”

Y/n smiled softly as she nodded. “I do too.” She huffed a chuckle as she shrugged. “I just…I don’t know. I guess I just…we’ve been so focused with school and graduation.”

Casey tilted her head as she grinned. “And you’re afraid that we will part ways. We still have a whole year for graduation.”

Y/n nodded. “I know.” She smiled. “I just…” she sighed as she placed her hand on Casey’s chest, playing with her necklace. “I don’t think I see myself with anyone else but you.”

Casey smiled as she leaned in and kissed her lips softly. “Neither do I. We’ve made our relationship work so far, we’ll make it work after we graduate.”

Y/n smiled as she leaned in to kiss her lips softly. “You right. We’ll make it work.”

Casey nodded as she wrapped her arms around y/n’s legs to move her to her lap. “Now, what do you say we take a break, hmm?” She grinned as she kissed her neck softly. “Just to relax a bit.”

“Of course you’d suggest that Ms. Novak.” Y/n chuckled softly as she wrapped her arms around Casey’s neck and kissed her lips.

********************

Y/n should’ve seen it coming. After graduation, everything had been good, everything was still perfect. They both went to each other’s graduation, they even made a trip together to celebrate, things still seemed perfect. But they had different careers, they had different thoughts about what they wanted to do, and to be honest, she didn’t expect to have such an amazing offer so quickly, the chance to have an amazing future ahead of her, but her future also included Casey. She wanted it to include Casey, but again…Casey had also her plans, she also had in mind what she wanted to do with her life, not only professionally but also personally. Yes, they both had agreed to stay in New York, they both had made it clear that they wanted each other in their lives, but that was until Casey started to figure out that it wasn’t just about their relationship, it was about their professional lives too. Before y/n knew it, Casey was distant, she had started working at a bureau that was a big deal, she had a mentor that saw a great future for her. She had a chance to do what she wanted to do, and y/n couldn’t stop her from it.

But then, the lonely nights started, barely talking to each other, barely seeing each other because Casey was busy, she had stuff to do, and y/n only found out because she heard Casey talking on the phone. When y/n got her offer, she couldn’t even tell Casey because she was busy, and she barely made it home for dinner. Most of the nights, Casey only came home to sleep and before y/n could wake up, she was gone. Not that y/n wasn’t busy with her own life too, working at a hospital was not exactly the easiest, and it wasn’t exactly what she had expected. Y/n pushed the offer for a few weeks, waiting to talk to Casey about it, but Casey was only focused on her stuff. And when the time to talk about it finally showed up, it wasn’t exactly what y/n had expected.

“Wait…you’re upset?”

Casey shrugged as she looked at y/n. “I thought we had agreed we would stay here in New York.”

Y/n raised her brows, a little surprised. “Oh…I mean. Yeah, sure but…I mean, we had agreed we would stay in Boston, and now we’re here in Manhattan. I had to transfer.” She tilted her head. “I transferred so you could accept your offer.”

“And you hid your offer for weeks.” Casey snapped.

Y/n scoffed as she nodded. “You know why I did it? Because all you’ve done has been work. You spend more time with Mary than you spend time with me. And that’s hypocritical of me, because I’m at the hospital most of the time, but I try to make time for you, and then, you don’t even come home.”

“You knew that out first year was everything about adjusting. I’m sorry I spend so much time at the office, I cannot help it.”

Y/n nodded. “And I know that, Casey. Trust me. I am not asking you to drop everything for me. But if I hid the offer, was because I was not sure what to do. I was not sure what I wanted, because I want you in my life. We agreed to that.”

“And you’re rubbing it in my face that I made you transfer to a place you didn’t even want to be in. And I’m sorry about that, but you made that choice. I didn’t force you.”

“I never said you did! God, Casey. Are you really trying to pick up a fight right now? I was honest. I wanted you to know about the offer, I wanted you to be aware of what’s happening in my life. But…” she shrugged. “Here I am. Waiting for you to notice me. You cling to your papers and pens, and I’m just here waiting for you.” Y/n felt tears in her eyes as she stared at Casey. “I did what I said I’d never do. And I did it because I wanted to, and you’re upset because I got an offer? Or why are you trying to pick up a fight? I never said I’d accept it.”

“Then maybe I should make the choice for you.” Casey crossed her arms as she stared at y/n. “You should go to California.”

Y/n furrowed her brows. “What?”

“You heard me. This…us? “We’re not working anymore, y/n.” Casey shook her head as she looked away. “I don’t…” She sighed softly as she nibbled on her lip. “It’s better this way.”

Y/n stared at her as tears rolled down her cheeks. “For me or for you?”

Casey looked back at her, tears in her eyes too. “Y/n…”

“Save it.” Y/n scoffed. “You’ve been thinking about this for so long. You were just waiting for the perfect moment. What happened to…it’s just me and you? It was us against anything…but I get it. You don’t see me in your future anymore.” She said quietly as she nodded. “If this is how you want to leave me, fine. I was not going to accept the offer.”

Casey tilted her head as she walked to y/n. “Y/n, wait-“

“Hope you get what you want in life.” Y/n simply said as she walked to their room, locking the door behind her to start packing her things.

Y/n didn’t want to push this, she didn’t want to beg for Casey to not leave her, to ask her to stay, she loved Casey, but if it meant to ask for her love, to wait for her love…she didn’t want this. Any of this.

********************

“Wait, what about Huang?” Elliot asked as he looked at Olivia.

Olivia shrugged. “He’s somewhere in California, doing some TED talks or something.”

“So, we getting a new one for now or what?” Munch raised his hands as she stared at them. “Novak said we needed Huang to confirm if he’s capable of talking in court or the case can go to the trash.”

“Guys, I want you to meet Dr. y/n y/l/n. Huang’s good friend, and the person who will be helping us in the next few cases if we need her.” Cragen smiled as he introduced her.

Y/n smiled softly as she nodded. “Sorry Huang is not here, but it’s nice to meet you guys, I’ve heard great things about you all.”

Olivia smiled as she nodded. “We’re sure that if Huang sent you, it’s because you’re good. I’ll show you the interrogation room.” She then walked with y/n, leaving behind the boys.

Elliot looked at Cragen. “I take it she’s good?”

“I trust Huang, and right now, we need all the possible help, so we get these girls some justice.” Cragen nodded as he walked back to his office.

“He’s right. As long as we get a confirmation that he’s sane enough, we’re good to go, Huang or not.” Munch said as he stood up.

Casey walked into the squad room and smiled at Elliot, walking to him. “Huang’s in there?”

Elliot shook his head. “Nope, he’s not in New York. Sent a friend of his, but Liv already took her in, so we should have an answer soon.”

Casey nodded. “Good, wanna come?”

Elliot nodded as he followed Casey, He furrowed his brows as he stared at Casey. “You okay?”

Casey sighed as she shook her head. “The DA’s office is right on my back with this case. I need a psych evaluation or he’s out before we can even blink.”

“Casey, you got this. We have enough evidence.” Elliot stopped Casey for a moment as he looked at her. “Is there something else going on in that head of yours?”

Casey looked back at him as she shook her head, sighing softly. “No. Everything is okay.” She offered a small smile before she walked in with Elliot. But just as she walked in, the voice on the other side of the room made her stop in her tracks, her heart dropping and her eyes widening.

Elliot noticed the reaction, and just in time, Olivia turned to look at them, furrowing her brows. She looked at Elliot for a moment before she returned her attention to Casey. “Case?”

Casey’s lips parted in surprise, but no words could come out. She cleared her throat softly, as she looked at Olivia. “Y-Yeah?”

“What happened? You completely froze there.” Olivia said a little concerned, walking to Casey.

Casey snapped out of her trance and shook her head. “No uh…nothing. Sorry, I just…I guess I’m too stressed right now.”

Olivia nodded, looking at Elliot for a moment and then back at Casey. “Alright…she’s…the psychiatrist is talking to him right now. She’s on his good side right now.”

Casey nodded. “Right, I need to go talk to Cragen but…let me know when she’s done.” Before anyone could say anything, Casey was out of the room.

It had been around two years or so since they had seen each other. The last time they had seen each other was the day y/n moved out of their apartment. Casey had tried everything to stop her, but it was too late. After that, they never talked to each other, didn’t even try to contact each other, they had entirely erased each other from their lives. And now, it was like destiny wanted them to find each other again, but Casey was not ready for it. She knew the damage she had caused, she knew how much she had hurt y/n, and herself…and she knew that y/n hated her for what she did, she knew that she’d probably freak out once she figured out that Casey was here, and Casey was definitely not ready to tell the whole squad their story, she had never talked about her, she couldn’t…it had been too painful. She had tried to stay as long as possible with Cragen in his office, coming up with excuses to not leave, or simply talking about where they were with the case, and just as she was about to leave, she ran into the one person she had been trying to avoid, and oh, her heart hadn’t beaten like this in so long.

Casey’s eyes widened slightly as she stared at y/n, licking her lips nervously. “H-Hey.”

Y/n furrowed her brows, offering a small smile. “Hi. I’m y/n.” She extended her hand. “You must be…the attorney? Olivia told me some blonde girl was in charge of this case.” She chuckled softly.

Casey furrowed her brows, staring at her with a confused look. “Uh…yes. Novak.” She grabbed y/n’s hand in hers and she felt a shiver run down her spine. “You don’t…you don’t know who I am?” She asked softly, almost quietly.

Y/n raised her brow as she let go of Casey’s hand. “Should I…know who you are?”

“Uh…” Casey shook her head. “No. Sorry, I’m not exactly in my right mind today.”

“Got it. This heat doesn’t help anyone, does it?” Y/n chuckled softly. “Olivia gave me your email, I’ll be sending you the evaluation, and if you have any questions, my number will be in the email.”

Casey nodded. “Great, thanks.”

Y/n nodded softly as she offered a small smile. “Nice to meet you, Novak.” She then walked away, leaving Casey speechless. What had just happened?

********************

Olivia knocked on Casey’s door softly, smiling as Casey looked up at her. “Hey there.”

Casey offered a smile. “Hi.”

Olivia walked into the office and raised her brow. “So…are you gonna tell me what’s going on?”

Casey furrowed her brows and shook her head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“C’mon, Casey. You know better than to lie to me.” Olivia sat down and crossed her arms as she looked at Casey.

“I don’t…” Casey sighed softly as she dropped her pen and rubbed her temple. “What do you know about y/n?”

“Well…she’s great. I mean���she has helped us so much with everything. She’s at Huang’s level.” Olivia nodded as she offered a smile. “And uh…Huang told us a little bit of background. She studied here, but after graduating she moved to California for an offer.”

Casey nodded softly. “Anything else?”

Olivia tilted her head as she thought. She then nodded as she sighed. “I heard that she got into an accident. Like a year or so ago. She mentioned that she had been in a coma for a while, she still doesn’t remember much. But recently, she was allowed to go back to work.”

Casey then understood, and her heart dropped at the idea of y/n being in an accident, and she wasn’t there for her. She sighed softly as she nodded. “Must’ve been hard.”

“Seems so.” Olivia raised her brows. “Now…are you gonna tell me why you’re acting so weird? Is this about y/n?”

Casey groaned softly as she covered her face, sighing afterwards. “I know y/n.” She mumbled.

Olivia nodded. “Alright…and?” She then gasped softly. “Oh…she didn’t recognize you.”

“She has no idea who I am.” Casey shook her head as she dropped her hands, looking at Olivia. “She had no idea who I was and I…I don’t know how to treat her, or what to say.”

“Was she…more than a friend?”

Casey nodded. “Yeah…she was.” She said softly, still feeling guilty about how it all ended.

“Maybe this is your second chance.” Olivia shrugged. “You can try to be her friend, you know? This is literally a start over, Case.”

Casey looked at Olivia and shrugged. “You think it’s a good idea?”

Olivia shrugged. “Well…why not? Maybe this could turn out better than you think.”

Casey nodded softly as she stared at Olivia, smiling softly. “Maybe so…”

“I’m…not sure what happened between you two, but all I know is that this could be your chance to make things better. Maybe be her friend first, and if things go well then…if you want, you can try again.” Olivia offered a smile.

Casey looked back at Olivia and smiled softly, nodding her head, and thanking her. The conversation kept going after that, y/n no longer in it. Casey hated the fact that it had been her fault for letting her go, she was happy to know the person she had become, maybe Casey would have stopped her from growing, but the fact that she had been in an accident and Casey had not been there…it broke her heart into a million of pieces. She wanted to make it up. She wanted to make things better.

********************

Y/n looked up as she heard a pair of heels approaching her, smiling as she saw Casey walking to her. “Ms. Novak. What do I owe the pleasure of your presence?”

Casey felt her heart fluttering as she stood in front of y/n, smiling softly. “I heard you were covering Huang here too. Thought I’d pay you a visit, and thank you for your help. We won the case.”

Y/n raised her brows and smiled widely. “Oh, Casey! That’s amazing. I’m sure it was all because of you. I’ve heard how amazing you are in court.” She chuckled softly as she closed the file she had in hands.

“Well…I still wanted to thank you. And…wonder if you’d like to take a coffee.” Casey nibbled on her lip nervously, hoping that she’d get a positive answer.

Y/n stared at Casey and smiled softly. “I don’t see why not. Are you free right now? I was about to leave.”

“Sounds good to me.” Casey smiled softly.

They decided to walk for a while before they actually found a coffee shop where they could sit and grab a coffee. It amazed Casey how little she remembered before the accident, admitting that she didn’t even remember much about her college years or even after, just a few memories popping up every now and then, and people? That was the most difficult to remember. Casey felt guilty, knowing how they had ended and now taking advantage of her not remembering to get to talk to her, but she couldn’t help it. Olivia’s words kept playing in her mind, wanting to believe that maybe this truly was a second chance that the universe decided to give them; not in the best way, but she could either waste it or take it. She couldn’t help the way her eyes stayed glued to y/n the whole time, loving the fact that she looked the same, as beautiful as she has always been, and she couldn’t help the way her heart beat fast for her.

Casey talked a little about her own life, there wasn’t much to say about it, since her whole life was dedicated to her job. After y/n, she had really out her entire focus on it, wanting to get more offers or chances to work in something better, to be able to grow, and she had gotten her place in Sex Crimes even if she hadn’t wanted that at first. She couldn’t help but wonder what it’d be like if she had another chance with y/n…if fate was nice enough to let her have that second chance and get back the life she wished she hadn’t thrown away back then, but she needed to take it step by step, not wanting to rush things. She was really willing to win her back.

Y/n stopped in front of the doors of the hotel and turned to look at Casey. “Thank you for the coffee, and…the dinner that came after.” She chuckled softly.

Casey chuckled as she nodded. “You’re welcome.” She said softly as she smiled. “When are you going back to California?”

Y/n sighed as she shrugged. “I have a few more things to do here. Huang is taking a bit of time over in California, so. I might stay for a little longer.”

“Good.” Casey smiled softly. “Will I be able to see you again?”

Y/n smiled widely as she nodded. “I don’t see why not.” She chuckled. “See you around, Casey.”

“Goodnight.” Casey nodded as she watched her walking into the hotel.

Was it wrong? Was this selfish? She felt guilty, she felt bad, but could anyone really blame her? She couldn’t just waste this chance, as guilty as she felt.

********************

“Who would’ve thought that Ms. Novak was a charmer?” Olivia said as she walked into Casey’s office, a playful smile on her face.

Casey looked up and furrowed her brows. “Where did that come from?”

Olivia grinned. “Y/n stopped by the squad room earlier. She was talking about how Ms. Novak took her to a nice restaurant.” She said in a playful tone.

Casey laughed softly as she looked down at her notebook and placed her pen down as she looked back at Olivia. “It was just dinner.”

“For what…like the third time in almost two weeks? Olivia raised her brow.

Casey rolled her eyes playfully. “Yeah, well…she has free time. I didn’t see why J couldn’t.”

“Oh, Case. You’re really taking this chance, and I love that for you.” Olivia smiled softly. “She said she loves the restaurant, gave her a sense of comfort.”

Casey smiled softly as she nodded. “She used to love that restaurant when we had just moved here. I…couldn’t help it.”

Olivia smiled. “What happened, Casey?”

Casey took a deep breath and then she sighed heavily. “I had gotten an offer here, after we had promised that we would both stay in Boston. I made her transfer and…then she had an offer in California.” She nodded sadly. “She was not going to take it. But we were drifting apart…I was stuck in work, always work…”

“She felt forgotten.” Olivia said softly as she sat down in one of the chairs.

“I made her feel that way. Because it was true. I was so focused on work that I just stopped putting her as my priority. And then I told her to go to California.” Casey shrugged. “And she did.” She smiled sadly at Olivia. “Now you see why I was thinking if it was a good or bad idea to try to befriend her again.”

“I know it sounds…bad. But it’s a second chance. And maybe, when she remembers, she’ll forgive you.”

“Is it bad that I don’t want her to remember? I mean…fuck, I’m so selfish.” Casey chuckled as she ran her fingers through her hair. “It hurt to think at first that she couldn’t remember me, that she had forgotten about us…and now I’m taking advantage of it.”

“I wouldn’t say you’re taking advantage. It’s like you two are getting to know each other again. Not like you just jumped into her bed, you know?”

Casey nodded. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Just…don’t overthink too much about it.” Olivia offered a small smile.

Casey raised her brow. “You’re as bad as me, supporting me into this.” She chuckled softly.

“Is it selfish to want to see you happy?” Olivia grinned as she teased.

********************

“Wait…they offered you a job here?” Casey smiled softly.

Y/n nodded as she set her drink on the table, looking at Casey. “Mercy hospital. Huang wanted to try to get me a spot with him, but…Mercy hospital sounds nice.” She smiled softly.

Casey nodded softly as she smiled, getting up from her desk and then walking to the table, sitting down beside y/n. “Have you thought about it?”

“I mean…” y/n sighed. “I need to get some things in order in California. I can’t just accept and move. There are a lot of things I need to think about.”

Casey nodded again. “You’re right.”

“What do you think?” Y/n smiled, a hint of hope in her eyes.

“What do I…” Casey furrowed her brows. “…why do you care what I think?”

Y/n shrugged softly as she smiled. “I’m just asking for an opinion, you know?”

Casey nibbled on her lip as she stared at y/n. It could be her opportunity to have another chance with her, it could be that chance she had wanted to have all this time after she screwed up. But it’d be selfish. It would be too selfish to ask her to stay. She couldn’t possibly tell her what she really thought.

“I…I think you should do what you think it’s best for you.” Casey said softly.

“Will you want to deal with me once I move here?”

Casey chuckled softly. “I’d love that.”

Y/n smiled softly as she nodded. “I’ll let you know my decision when I have it then. I’ll uh…I need to do some stuff but…dinner on me?”

Casey smiled as she stood up. “Sounds perfect.”

Y/n smiled as she grabbed her coffee and stood up. She stood in front of Casey for a moment before she leaned up and pressed her lips against Casey’s in a gentle kiss. Casey’s breath hitched for a moment but couldn’t help kissing her back softly, placing her hands on her waist to pull her closer. The moment was broken when Casey’s phone went off, making them pull apart.

Y/n smiled softly as she pecked Casey’s lips. “See you later, Case.” She said before she walked away.

Casey swallowed, trying to catch her breath, and then moving to her desk to grab her phone. Throughout the whole day, she was in court, arraignment after arraignment plus a trial. She had tried so hard to focus but her mind kept going back to their kiss, and how good it had felt to kiss her after all this time. She had missed the feeling of y/n close to her, her lips, her taste…and yet, she felt nothing but guilt. She kept overthinking over and over again. She tried to think what Olivia had told her, she tried so hard to be positive about it and to try and just live in the moment, but she couldn’t.

She was about to text y/n that she was on her way out her office when suddenly she felt someone at the door. She turned to the door and found y/n standing there, a serious look on her face as she stared at Casey.

“Y/n. I was about to text you that I was on my way out.” Casey smiled softly. But then she looked down at her watch. “Shit, did I say earlier? I’m sorry. I…”

“No. It’s not that.” Y/n bit her lip softly as she walked into Casey’s office and closed the door behind her. “We need to talk.”

Casey furrowed her brows as she stared at y/n. “Something happened?”

Y/n looked up at Casey, tears welling up in her eyes. “I never actually thought I’d see you again.” She said in a whisper, her voice cracking up with emotion.

Casey’s heart ached as she spoke, her eyes locking with y/n’s. “You…you remember me?”

Y/n nodded softly as she huffed a chuckle. “I uh…I was just talking to Huang and then he was asking me about you, how things were going, and it was like uh…wave that hit me and all of the sudden I remembered that…I knew you. You used to be my Casey.” She felt tears in her eyes as she shook her head, licking her lips nervously.

Casey felt a pang of guilt as she stared at y/n, walking to her. “Y/n…I-I wanted to tell you, I didn’t-“

“Is this how you planned on getting back with me? You were hoping that I wouldn’t remember, didn’t you?” Y/n asked softly as she felt tears in her eyes.

“No! I mean…” Casey groaned as she nibbled on her lip. “I did want to tell you. I felt…I felt guilty. But I couldn’t help it. I just wanted to start over.”

“And what a better way to start over than taking advantage of me having amnesia.” Y/n chuckled sarcastically. “You know I…I don’t blame you. But you know we didn’t end well, did you just forget about all that?”

“No…” Casey shook her head. “But I regret everything. I regret letting you go. I wanted to see you again. You changed your number, and I just…”

“You made your choice, Casey. You even made my choice.” Y/n scoffed. She shook her head. “I truly did want to start over.”

“And what about your accident? Why did you never call me?”

“I didn’t remember your phone number.” Y/n chuckled softly as she wiped her tears. “I’m sure my mom wanted to. Something might’ve stopped her.”

Casey nodded as she looked down at her hands. “I’m sorry…for everything. I just thought it could be that chance I lost…”

Y/n took a deep breath and then sighed as she tried to avoid more tears falling from her eyes. “That’s not fair, Casey. You make it seem like I was the one who broke your heart, when it was the other way around.”

Casey looked back up at her. “And that’s why I wanted to make things right. I wanted another chance, and I was not going to take advantage of you. I was going to tell you all about it, I just didn’t know how. I didn’t want you to hate me.”

“I don’t hate you, Casey.” Y/n said in a whisper as she stared into her eyes. “But I can’t do this again. I…I don’t even know why I considered accepting the offer here, when I have everything I need in California. And being here now…reminds me of what I lost.”

Casey felt her heart drop at her words, tears welling up in her eyes. “Y/n…” She took a step closer and grabbed her hands, bringing them to her lips. “Please I’m…I’m so sorry. I really am. You don’t know how much I regret what happened and how things went down. Please.”

Y/n stared into her eyes as she shook her head. “How do I know that you won’t cling to your paper and pen again, huh?”

“We start over then. We just leave it at friends. Accept the offer, move back here. We can make it work this time, baby. I’m just asking for one more chance.” Casey looked at her with pleading eyes, her voice low and quiet.

“We can’t be friends, not even that.” Y/n whispered softly. “Casey…I loved you. So much…but I just…I can’t do this. Not again. Look where you are.” She smiled sadly. “You have a conviction rate of 71%, you’re a recognized ADA.” She chuckled sadly. “Sort of…did some research.”

Casey chuckled a little as she nodded. “And you’re recognized in California…and have a new life now.”

Y/n nodded. “We have different lives. And it should stay that way.”

Casey tilted her head as she felt tears rolling down her eyes. “I love you…” she whispered softly.

Y/n nodded. “I loved you.”

Casey closed her eyes as she felt a weight on her chest at the words. Y/n sighed softly as she placed her hand on Casey’s cheek, stroking it softly. She leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her lips, resting her forehead against hers for a moment.

“I’m glad I got to see you again. I’m sir proud of you.” Casey whispered softly as she looked into her eyes.

Y/n smiled sadly. “I’m so proud of you too.”

Y/n offered one last smile before she walked out of Casey’s office, leaving her just standing there in the middle of her office as she stared at the door, tears rolling down her cheeks. She had made a mistake, a terrible mistake. And maybe after all, her life would be dedicated to her job. That’s what she chose. And she’d regret it for the rest of her life.

[imaginexwwe]

SPRING BREAK 4 - Roman Reigns

•

NO TIME SKIP THIS TIME LOL

•

REAL NAMES WILL BE USED

•

4½ MONTHS PREGNANT Y|N FEELS IT'S TIME TO COME CLEAN NOW THAT SHE KNOWS JOE ISN'T JUST AN AVERAGE JOE (🤣)

•

PART 3 (×)

•

I sighed looking at myself in the mirror, slowly running my hand down my now noticeable baby bump.

I was now in my second trimester of this pregnancy and just when I thought me getting knocked up by a man I'd only known a few hours before, was as bad as this train wreck would get, I was wrong.

Really wrong.

Because turns out, Joe as I'd only known him these few months is actually Joseph Anoaʻi.

Or Roman Reigns, as he goes by in WWE.

The WWE company in which my older brother Colby works for.

"Things are just getting worse and worse." I mumbled as I made my way to my closet, searching for something to wear on my outing with Austin.

And I say outing because I honestly don't know what else to call it.

I mean, it's definitely not a date for me.

I hope it's not a date to Austin...

"Do you think this is a date?" I asked, picking out a short, loose fitting dress.

My bump shouldn't show too much through this, I thought as I began stripping out of my pajamas, sliding my dress on soon after.

"Tori." I called out, trying to get my bestfriends attention, while also wondering why I couldn't see her on the screen anymore. "Tori."

"Oh, sorry." Tori finally replied a huge grin on her face. "I fell down the Roman Reigns rabbit hole." She explained. "Again."

I rolled my eyes, picking up my macbook and going to my bed to sit. "Of course you did." I mumbled.

I couldn't blame her though.

All I did last night, till at least 2 a.m. was watch old matches of my baby daddy.

Then when I finally drifted off the sleep he was on my mind so much that I ended up having a dream that still makes me blush, just thinking about it.

If only it was reality.

It was just something so sexy about him bulling his cousins and other wrestlers.

Even his old matches with my brother and their friend Jon we're awesome to watch.

Tori laughed, holding up a finger. "This is gonna be you and Joe's baby." She said, trying to hold in her laughter so she could finish what she's trying to say. "And his first word will be 'ACKNOWLEDGE ME'" She joked, laughing even louder.

I sighed, feeling my mood change in an instant. "We won't know if it's a he or she." I replied before mumbling. "And we won't know what his or her's first word would be." I reminded her. "You know I've been looking for a good family for this baby..."

Tori nodded. "Yeah, i know." She replied. "I just thought after I told you that Joe wasn't ghosting you, that you mixed up two digits in his number, that maybe..." She trailed off with a shrug. "You'd change your mind about adoption since you won't have to do it alone while trying to finish college."

"I haven't even told Joe about the baby."

"But you know I did." Tori quickly answered. "Again, not on purpose but I did tell him." She added. "What I'm trying to say, is I was excited about being an aunt. And I know you'd be a good as mommy Y|N."

A sad smile formed on my face as I once again began doubting my ability to finish my last two years of college, eventually have a career, and raise a baby.

Even if Joe was involved it'll still be damn near impossible considering he's on the road three or four nights a week, so I'm sure the last thing he wants is a baby to be responsible for.

And on top of that we're not even together.

"Can we change the subject?" I asked, unconsciously rubbing my baby bump.

Tori nodded. "So..." She said. "Why haven't you called Joe?"

I groaned. "That's not changing the subject." I quickly replied. "Besides you know I've been hanging out with Austin still."

"Yeah, but why?" Tori asked, giving me a look. "You have a mature, grown and sexy twenty-seven year old that wants you but you're wasting your time on a cheating ass, immature 20 year old. I just don't get it."

I shrugged. "Austin's changed." I said, not a hundred percent sure I believed what I had just said. "Besides, when any typical guy would've happily ran when finding out their girlfriend cheated and got knocked up, Austin didn't. He made me feel safe and promised we'd go back to normal and put this behind up after I have this baby. He's waiting for me."

"His ass cheated first." Tori mumbled, seemingly ignoring everything else I'd said. "And I noticed the word love wasn't said."

That's because I don't know if I've truly been able to love Austin since he cheated.

Or if I'd be able to any time soon.

At this rate, I'll probably love Joe before I'm able to love Austin again.

Or do I already love Joe and that's the reason I'm unable to love Austin..?

Before I could respond, the sound of the doorbell echoed throughout the house.

"Austin's here." I said, before standing up. "I gotta go." I added, closing my macbook before Tori could respond.

For a second time, the doorbell echoed, this time sounding louder as I reached the door.

"Damn, Austin." I giggled, opening the door. "I'm almost five months pregnant, give me time." I spoke again, feeling my heart stop for a second when I saw it wasn't Austin. "Joseph?"

Holy shit, I mentally screamed out to myself, as my eyes stayed locked on the man on the other side of the door.

The man who fathered this baby I'm carrying.

Face to face with him for the first time since Miami.

Did he get hotter?

"Hey." Joe said, his eyes seemingly locked on me, like mines were on him.

Or was he staring at my belly?

I shifted uncomfortable at the thought of him seeing me pregnant all of a sudden. "Colby's um..." I began, stumbling on my words. "At his wrestling school."

"I know." Joe, responded with a nod, a seriousness in his tone. "I was hoping to see you, considering you haven't called me yet."

I bit the inside of my cheek, nodding also. "I tried but I..."

"Had my number wrong." Joe finished for me, making me nod again.

"Yeah." I said, with an embarrassed laugh. "I figured you'd just got what you wanted for me and had moved on to the next girl."

A hint of hurt flashed in Joe's eyes after what I hade said. "That's the kind of guy you think I am?" He asked, causing me to immediately shake my head.

"I didn't really know what to think of you, Joe." I answered truthfully. "I had only known you for a few hours and my judgment was blinded by the many shots Tori kept persuading me to drink, then you did take me on that amazing date. But you have to understand I tried calling you a few times and obviously couldn't get in touch with you to tell you about this baby you helped make so yeah..." I rambled. "I guess deep down I couldn't believe a guy that looks like you would even entertain a girl like me. Tori yes. But me? No."

Joe chuckled. "There's no way in hell I could have feelings for Tori."

I smiled, suddenly unable to look him in the eyes. "Did you have feelings for me?"

"I do have feelings for you Y|N." He quickly responded, taking a few steps closer to me. "That's why it was driving me crazy these few months thinking that I would never hear from you again."

"You were going crazy over me?" I asked, feeling my heartbeat began to race with anticipation.

Joe, nodded silently and without control, I found myself leaning up towards Joe as he was leaning down towards me.

I let my eyes snap shut, and just as I was about to finally feel Joe's lips on mines again, for the first time in months, a car door slammed shut.

Like it really slammed shut as if someone wanted to really make their presence known.

Please don't be my brother.

Please don't be my brother.

PLEASE DON'T BE MY BROTHER.

"Babe." I heard a male voice call out to me, and I slowly opened my eyes to see Austin leaning against his car, a scowl on his face.

I'm assuming from seeing me almost kiss Joe.

Why is it any time Joe's in my presence I forget about Austin?

"Babe..?" Joe asked, his eyes flashing with an emotion I've never seen from him the few times we have been around each other.

Is that jealousy?

Ignoring Joe, I quickly made my way over to Austin flashing a smile at him, as he continued to stare at Joe as if he was mentally sizing him up.

"Shit." I mumbled, stomping my foot. "I forgot my purse." I added. "Be right back."

Quickly, I walked back to the house, making sure to grab on to Joe's arm as I made my way inside. "Look." I said. "I have to go, but if my brother comes home before I do just lie and say you came over for him and I let you in or something."

"Y|N." Joe said, an edge to his tone, and the jealousy still in his eyes. "Who is he?"

I sighed, as I went over to the couch to get my purse. "My boyfriend..." I mumbled, scared to look at Joe for the first time since I opened the door and saw him there. "I think."

"Boyfriend?" Joe questioned as if he couldn't believe what I had said. "How do you have a boyfriend when you're pregnant with my baby?"

"Because me and him have been together for years." I explained. "It's just been a bit complicated with him cheating on me and then me trying to get back at him with you." I added, mentally slapping myself after that last part left my mouth.

How could I say that when I know that's not how it was?

Austin's never on my mind when I'm with Joseph.

Joe let out a sarcastic laugh. "So, that night we were together was just some kind of revenge fuck so you'd have a way to make that dude jealous?"

Was he pissed?

He sounds pissed.

"No." I sighed, my eyes going from Joe to the door and back. "I really do have to go."

"We really need to talk Y|N." Joe replied, but I was already out the door.

Me and him could talk later.

"Okay." I said, as I reached Austin's car again. "We could go now."

Austin nodded silently, his attention still on the door, or rather who's on the other side of the door.

Even though he couldn't see Joe, it seemed that it pained Austin just by knowing he was in there.

"Austin." I called out trying to bring his attention back to me. "Something wrong?"

"No." Austin replied, his signature smile forming as he opened the passenger side door for me, closing it as soon as I got in.

As Austin made his way over to the drivers side of his car, I leaned over towards the back to drop my purse in the backseat when something caught my eye.

"That asshole."

I can't fucking believe him.

Or maybe I should considering this isn't the first time.

Austin finally got into his car, pushing the button to start the engine. "What are you craving today?" He asked, with a chuckle. "Tacos? Pizza? Both?"

"I suddenly don't have an appetite." I mumbled, my arms crossed over my chest.

"C'mon, babe." Austin said, glancing over at me. "You're pregnant." He added, chuckling again. "There's no way in hell you don't have a appetite."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, I don't."

"Okay." Austin replied, rolling his eyes also as he again pushed the button, this time turning his car engine off. "Are you hormones acting up?"

Instead of answering Austin, I decided to throw a question of my own at him. "What's these doing in your car?"

"What?"

I held up the two used condom wrappers that I had found in the backseat of his car. "Where you with that slut again? Or someone else?"

"Y|N, your tripping." Austin mumbled, shaking his head. "Those are from the last time me and you had sex." He added. "You know, when you still believed in protection."

I gasped.

How dare he?

"I didn't get pregnant because I didn't make the father use a condom." I angrily replied. "And I know you're fucking lying because the last time you and I had sex was over five months ago and I also know these wrappers weren't in your goddamn car last week." I scoffed, trying to fight back the tears that were forming in my eyes. "Was it her or someone new?"

"It was her." Austin finally answered making me laugh in disbelief.

"I can't fucking believe you would do this again after you said you wouldn't over and fucking over." I replied.

Austin scoffed. "You can't believe me?" He asked, sarcasm in his voice. "I can't believe you'd practically be making out with your baby daddy minutes before I'm supposed to pick you up but you did." He said, before adding. "Just like you let him fuck you without one, even though you ain't even know him a day. But makes sure your boyfriend of six years wore one every damn time we fucked."

In that moment I wanted nothing more than to reach over and slap Austin so hard that I left a hand print in his face, but I held myself back.

Barely.

"For the tenth time I didn't have sex with him without a condom." I groaned, reaching over in the backseat to grab my purse. "His dick is just so big that it broke the condom." I smirked, opening the passenger side door, and getting out of the car. "Something you wouldn't know about."

I didn't say it but I'm sure it was implied that me and Austin were over.

For good this time.

With tears in my eyes I stormed back up to the house, just as Joe was leaving out.

"What's wrong?" Joe questioned, immediately noticing that I was upset.

I wiped at the tears that had fallen from my eyes. "I just ended my six year relationship."

"Because of me?"

"No." I snapped, taking out the last bit of my anger for Austin on Joseph. "Not everything is about you." I added, before mumbling. "And I thought the only time you were a condescending asshole was on tv but it seems like you're one in real life too."

Joe shook his head, leaving out the house without another word or glance.

Did I just ruin what could have been between Joseph and I?

•

Later that day I eventually dragged myself out of bed, and downstairs for a middle of the night snack.

Partly because I had a sudden craving for cookies, and partly because I just couldn't get Joe out of my mind.

Especially how he looked when I called him a condescending asshole.

Which he most definitely isn't.

I know I haven't known him long enough to judge all of his qualities, but the few times I've been lucky enough to be in his presence, he's been nothing but a sweetheart.

A gentleman.

"Couldn't sleep either?" I heard a voice say, causing me to jump.

I placed my hand over my heart, trying to calm myself. "You scared me, dude." I said to Colby as I gently shut the refrigerator door, turning to see Colby sitting at the kitchen island. "And no." I answered. "Too much on my mind." I added, rambling in the cabinet for a baking sheet.

"Are you really about to bake cookies at one in the morning?" Colby asked with a laugh, as I began scooping cookie dough from the container and placing it onto the baking sheet.

"Yeah, I got a craving for cookies." I giggled, with a shrug. "Can you be an awesome big brother and preheat the oven for me?" I asked, as I continued scooping.

"Sure."

•

About ten minutes later, both my brother and I sat at the kitchen island eating cookies.

Well I was eating cookies, and Colby was eating the only cookie I shared with him.

"You never did say what was on your mind." Colby spoke up, breaking through the silence that had taken over.

"Neither did you." I replied, picking up a cookie and taking a bite.

Colby nodded, getting up and going to the refrigerator to get a bottle of water. "You first."

"Okay." I mumbled, biting on my lip. "I broke up with Austin's pathetic ass." I started, noticing the look on Colby's face as if he expected this break up to be like the others where I'd take him back after a while. "For real this time."

"What made it for real this time?" Colby questioned and I couldn't figure out if he was mocking me or genuinely just asking.

I sighed, looking down at the few cookies left in front of me. "He cheated again." I said with a shrug. "Very recently."

"I'm going to beat his ass." Colby immediately responded, in his usual overprotective big brother fashion. "My knee's healed enough for me to curb stomp his head into the pavement."

"Colby." I gasped, trying not to laugh. "You don't have to do anything. I already gave him a piece of my mind and also I'm a thousand and one percent sure you could do prison time for that."

"I do it all the damn time." Colby smirked.

"On tv, idiot." I said, unable to hold my laughter in any longer. "If you were to do that to Austin you'd be in trouble for sure."

Colby shrugged. "It'll be worth it." He said, proudly, before coming back over to sit next to me on the stool he previously sat on. "Is the next reason you can't sleep because of your baby's father?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

I sat silently for a moment, biting my lip as I contemplated if I should reveal the father of this child's identity.

I didn't want to continue hiding it from my brother.

And I definitely didn't want him finding out from someone other than me.

"Big brother." I mumbled, glancing over at him. Promise that you won't hate me after I tell you who he is."

"Hate you?" Colby asked, raising an eyebrow at me. "I could never hate you, Y|N." He added, giving me a reassuring smile. "You're my little sister."

"Okay." I said, biting down on my lip even harder this time. "Promise me you won't hate the father."

I had a big feeling that my brother and Joe's friendship or brotherhood wouldn't be the same as it was but I didn't want my brother hating Joe.

Colby sighed. "Just say it."

"His name is Joe." I whispered, closing my eyes tightly because I was afraid to make eye contact with my brother.

"I know." Colby replied.

I squeezed my eyes shut even tighter, remembering I had already told Colby the father's name. "No." I said. "His name is Joe Anoaʻi." I whispered again, feeling tears began to roll down my face for the second time in less than twenty four hours. "As in your bestfriend, Joe."

Once again Colby sighed, repeating himself as he reached over to rub soothing circles in my back. "I know."

As tears continued to run down my face, I carefully turned on my stool to face my brother.

His face oddly calm for someone who's little sister told just told them they had a one night stand with their bestfriend literally a minute ago.

"Who told you?" I gasped. "Was it Tori and her big mouth?" I asked again, with a groan.

I love her but once she gets going there's no telling what she'd spill.

Colby shook his head. "It was Joe."

Joe told my brother about us?

And didn't tell me, he told my brother.

"And as much as I don't like it..." Colby spoke again, with a sigh. "He's a step up from Austin."

I scrunched up my nose at my older brother, really not understanding why he's so calm. "Colby," I said in a calming tone. "Did you take something?"

"Fuck no." Colby laughed, shaking his head. "I'm just okay with it, I guess." He added, before speaking again. "Joe was man enough to come to me and explain earlier today at Black and Brave and..." He shrugged again. "It's not like he purposefully went after my little sister. He didn't know anything about me and you being family before yesterday. Besides you'vegot enough to worry about with this pregnancy. You didn't need a pissed off brotherto add on to your stress."

Okay who is this man next to me?

It's not like I wanted Colby to be so worked up over my situation with Joe, but still...

I didn't expect him to be so calm

And most importantly, why didn't Joe tell me he talked to my brother when he was here earlier.

"But when me and him step back into the ring against one another." Colby said, speaking again, before I could. "I'm beating his ass for what he did with my little sister."

I smiled a bit, before letting out a sigh. "Thank you so much for being oddly understanding." I replied, sliding off my stool, to go over and give my brother a kiss on his cheek. "You're the best brother I've got."

"I'm the only brother you've got." Colby quickly responded, laughing yet again.

•

LAST ONE... THIS WEEK 😅

•

PART 5

•

T A G S -

@southerngirl41 @alyyaanna

[desultory-suggestions]

hi there, thank you so much for running this blog! i have been following you for a long time and appreciate what you do so much, and i’ve been struggling with something and was looking for an ear or some advice so i thought i would come here.

this summer has been pretty hard on me mentally for a few reasons. being back home with family, as I live across the country for university and even studied abroad this semester, it’s always an adjustment living with people I love but sometimes struggle dealing with. i’m also back to an environment where I have no strict schedule, less friends, no privacy, no personal space, etc., and i got pretty sick for a portion of the summer.

this is my last summer before i graduate and i put many expectations on myself for how it would go (fun/personal life wise, but also academics/career wise). despite this sense of urgency and also these expectations, this past month of june i basically just rotted away in my bed, feeling depressed and anxious and not really doing anything about it. i did go out and about a few times and even got myself hired for two jobs, but there were so many responsibilities i ignored while rotting away and just feeling miserable for myself. now im finally clawing my way out of this hole i dug for myself, and im realizing how much i screwed myself over—all of the things i need to do would have been so much easier and enjoyable (!!!!!) had i not procrastinated. it feels like my memory for june is mainly just a haze when it could have been so great.

my question is—how do i cope with these feelings of self-disappointment, and almost self-disgust for the time i lost? for the moments i could have been better but didn’t? how do i cope with the knowledge that my summer could have looked totally different now, and that the power was in my hands to change it? the rest of my summer is looking pretty busy as i scramble to pick up the missing pieces, and im sad because i wanted it to feel special since it’s my last summer of university. any time i acknowledge the challenges i faced and the victories i did have just feels like making excuses for myself.

anyways, sorry for this ramble, and thank you for your time! i hope you are doing well and enjoying yourself.

Hello, dearest. First of all I want to tell you that I am so proud of you. I know right now you’re struggling with these heavy feelings, and it’s important to know that despite your inner struggles you are seen and loved and respected by those around you.

It sounds like you have worked very hard and been very busy for a long time. I know as a full time college student myself that the amount of work expected of us is often unbearable. People talk about it like a simple process, a part time commitment. It is not! You have been working a constant minimum of a full time job, plus additional work for pay, plus travel, plus family and friends needs, plus basic self care. Of course all of this can be so overwhelming and lead to a sense of burn out. Changing the language you use is giving reasons is not making excuses. Cultivate a mindset of correcting yourself:

“I’m making excuses -> I’m acknowledging the challenges and moving forward.”

I found quickly into college my high achiever mindset flipped into a constant sense of failure. I felt like I couldn’t do anything right, and like I just fell behind everyone else I respect. I wallowed in this for far too long, so trust me when I tell you not to spend all your time worrying about the past. Everyone has had a time like these, sometimes weeks, months, and sometimes years. But it is never too late to change the present and future.

You may not feel like it, but if summer meant laying in bed and barely doing anything maybe that’s what you needed. If your body and mind were too beaten down to do much, that’s not your fault. Remember that you are just one person, and this was one summer. You will have countless more summers to live out your dreams. Summer 2022 I barely left my room, depression, anxious, I pretty much rotted in bed! I was burnt out and struggling. Summer 2023 I worked my ass off at my new job, made friends, and started going to parties and even a music festival. Summer 2024 is now, and I’m in a solid mix of work, school, friends, and working to take care of myself. Life will not always look how we imagine it too, but often it will turn out much better.

Nothing that has already happened can be changed, all you have power over is the current and the future. Tons of people express the same sentiment to me

“I didn’t do X and now all I do is Y and it makes me feel Z so I don’t do X!”

And I totally understand! But this is the trap right here! This is what resembles the grave but isn’t! The more time you spend contemplating what you should have done the more past you create where you didn’t do what you wanted. It is so important to develop the ability to go “oh well, what do I want Now?” This takes practice. When you catch yourself in the internal doomscroll of all that you should have done, literally say “oh well, that’s the past. What do I want to do right now and how can I do it?”

Actions you can take:

- Make a list of goals you have tiered by right away, short term, medium term, and long term. Make sure to include a tier for goals that feel impossible! You’d be surprised what you can do!

- Start by picking one thing you want to change. Go on a walk every day, listen to an audiobook or music on that walk. Bam! Two enriching activities at once. Cook one new recipe a week or every other week.

- When at home from school, work to establish your independence in the home. This is hard! Family dynamics vary, but if you can, try to communicate with your family about personal space and boundaries. Perhaps rearrange your space at home to fit your needs as a more adult space while still maintaining your nostalgic environment.

- Cultivate a positive mindset and excitement for what comes next. This summer is not just an end, it’s a beginning! What do you want next? You can have it if you believe in yourself.

A final piece of advice. I started college with such high hopes and dream of what it would be. The summers with friends, late night studying in the library, goofing off between classes, getting to be this dream idealized self. For various reasons, this didn’t happen. I felt so angry that my experience with college had been tainted and forcefully taken from me, and I stayed angry for a while. This constant obsession with regret starts to eat you alive until you can’t see how good things are right in this moment. This did not get better because I somehow changed the past, it got better because I accepted that this was an idealized dream of one tiny part of my life. It got better when I started aiming towards the future. It’s ok to feel sad that you didn’t get what you wanted, but that doesn’t mean you never will. I am happier for moving on and saying I’d had enough grieving a hypothetical. You are real, you are young and alive and filled with dreams. It will never be too late, and there is nothing you could have missed this summer that cannot be achieved in a happier and healthier situation.

Start making today special. You are filled with light, dreams, and love. You will create the life you dreamed of, filled with adventure and happiness. Treat yourself tenderly, this is your first time being alive, the first last summer of college. You are learning and growing. I am so proud of you as you are now, and all that you will become. Keep the sparks alive, and I’m always here if you need someone to support or another senior in college to lean on!

I hope this helps!

Evan

P.S. here’s a poem that’s helped me!

[lazywriter7]

Written for Stony AUgust over at @stonyauniverse , for week one/alternate professions. 

non functional requirements

There’s a man-shaped twig blocking the door to the lecture hall.

“You coming or you going?”

The twig startles – blue eyes darting under wheat yellow hair. Gwen pulls the worn strap of her tote bag more firmly over her shoulder, MacBook weighing it down, grimacing all the while.

“Sorry.” The twig apologises in a surprisingly deep voice, then opens the door for her. Cute gesture if class hadn’t already started and now she’s gotta squeeze past him through the tiny door.

The guy re-evaluates his chivalry after a couple seconds of awkward silence. He ducks through into the hall but lingers, and Gwen sidesteps him to dump her crap on the floor near the closest seat on the second last row.

“Recording’s kicked off, so we might as well. This is lecture four of System Design Engineering.” The lecturer’s voice crackles over the speakers. Looks like he’s just gotten started, so that gives her a couple minutes to get setup. “Today we’ll be going over NFR’s, or non-functional requirements. What they are, how they’re defined. These can apply to any kind of computing systems, system architectures, front end or backend APIs, you name it. Any kind of – sorry, was that a hand?”

“Morning Tony.” Someone greets from close to the front row. Gwen, who’s waiting for her Macbook to complete its primeval, laborious booting up procedure, feels her shoulders sag even further down. God, not this shit again.

“Did your coffee machine explode again?”

“Implode, and no.” The lecturer – Tony – cracks a brief smile. The band t-shirt he’s got on is mostly just wrinkles, his hair flattened straight down the sides like it hasn’t been washed in a couple days. Really gives Gwen such an inspiring picture to look up to for her own prospective career in academia. “And just for that not-so-subtle commentary on my opening salvo today, I’m gonna teach this entire lecture using a metaphor.”

“Was it Justin Hammer?” Someone else calls from the front. “Did he hog the servers to train machine learning models on LinkedIn posts?”

“Fuck no.” Tony says, and winces immediately in the bout of snickers that erupt. “And now you’ve got me swearing on the recording. Gonna put all of you heathens on a bus to the downtown community college, don’t think I won’t do it.”

The students hush in anticipation. Tony blinks, knuckles at his nose under the wireframe glasses, and looks to the ceiling as if in despair. “I mean. I… pre-emptively apologise, and intend no insult to any students, or family of students listening to this, who may have attended community college. Community college is an institution. Just like… jail.”

“You sure your coffee machine didn’t explode?”

“Shut up Miles.” Tony gestures half-heartedly at the screen behind him, where the slide has finally changed.

Gwen’s brought up her note-taking tool by habit on her up-and-running Mac, but she doesn’t have high hopes. It’s not like the guy doesn’t know his stuff, he’s just easily derailed into tangents and rambles and spicy opinions on SpaceX, and Gwen likes to be systematic about learning new things. Start at the beginning, finish at the end, with preferably zero stand-up material along the way. If she’d wanted jokes, she’d put on a late-night show.

And then to add insult to injury, someone creeps up the side and sinks down on the seat right in front of her, blocking her eyeline to the lower third of the screen. The bluish light dances silver over the light-coloured mop of hair… it’s the twiggy dude, from the doorway. Did he just find a seat?

“Think about a relationship.” Tony’s saying, up at the lectern. “Parent and child, cousins twice removed, romantic partners. Whoever. There are the expectations, the responsibilities… the requirements, you could say, which are obviously defined and the bare minimum for the relationship to exist. If you’re a parent, you gotta house and feed your kid. If you don’t do that, you fail at the basic requirements of being a parent. So if you turn up with your deadbeat ass at your kid’s wedding, they’re justified to go all, ‘you’re not my dad’.”

A guy in the third row raises a pen into the air. “Can I explain it like that in the exam?”

“I’m not going to be the only one marking, Ganke, so I’d actively encourage it.” Kinda nice, how he remembered so many names though. Gwen has been in this course for six months and only knows faces. “However, there are certain requirements which may not be essential for the relationship to be defined and functional but are still important. Like if your parent loves you.” A twitch. “Loves the kid, that is.”

In the seat ahead of her, Twig’s shoulders have risen up to his ears, frame gone all stiff. Gwen bites back a sigh and moves over to the next seat, just to eliminate the distraction.

She thinks about Dad in the next breath, awkwardly jabbing at his cereal and darting glances at her over the table, and immediately shoves it down.

“You might be tempted to think of it as how good a system is at fulfilling a base requirement – like how good of a parent they are, depending on if they do or don’t love you. And that’s not incorrect; whether a website is able to serve a high volume of traffic, or have an uptime of ninety nine percent, is absolutely about how good it is at serving its base requirement, which is to present an accessible resource over the internet. But if the thresholds of those non-functional requirements aren’t met, if the website keeps throwing a 404 more frequently than is acceptable, then it impedes said basic requirement. Even though uptime isn’t in the strict definition of the deliverable. You feel me?”

Silence. Someone from the far end meekly chirps a yes.

“Ohhkay.” Tony paces out from behind the lectern, keen eyes scanning the room like he’s actually, really invested. That’s… that’s a nice thing about him too. “Imagine I’m in a relationship, right? My partner and I, we define what a romantic relationship means to us and what we expect of each other going in. Like… monogamy, maybe. Or meeting at least once a week. So as long as I don’t go cruising, or ghost this guy for a month, I’m technically fulfilling my promises as a boyfriend. Those are your functional requirements.”

There’s a tiny murmur in the room at ‘guy’, but it dies out quick. Not exactly a surprise from the man who wears bi flag-coloured sunglasses to Orientation week.

“But to the enlightened, relationships are about more than that.” Tony’s lips curl at one end, like the words amuse him. Or that he’s speaking them? “Dependability. Emotional support. Prioritising the other person’s needs. All that chicken soup for the soul stuff; your non-functional requirements.”

“So I gotta think about it, the third time I reschedule date night. Get lost in a work thing and forget to respond to a text. Several texts. Forget to buy the milk, even though he told me to and put a reminder on my phone. Make life decisions on my own. These things take… a toll.” Tony isn’t making eye contact with the crowd anymore. His eyes skitter up to the ceiling and away again, restless even as his voice continues on methodically. “Maybe my partner can put up with it. Does put up with it. But just because I’m serving the base functionality of a romantic partner, doesn’t mean I can ignore these things. These are also essential to the health of the relationship.”

“But you gotta design for that. I can’t sit there like a dimwit going, ‘oh I’ll just do better next time’ and expect it to magically happen. That I’ll just… be better, with no effort on my part aside from intending to.” Gwen drops her eyes to the plastic tabletop, scratches and pen marks running over the surface. This is weirdly intense. “I have to have the right system in place. Maybe I vow to reply to a text every time I’m downing a cup of coffee. Set up regular delivery orders for milk online. Make it to the date, even if it is an hour too late and not in the place I wanted, just so we’re there together. Plan in advance so that things can get better, instead of crossing fingers and blowing on an eyelash. Do the work.”

She lifts her gaze by an inch, still vaguely discomfited, and catches Twig’s jaw clenching in profile, limned by the light of the screen. He shifts in his seat, raises a fist to wipe brusquely at something under his eye. It’s all very quiet. Tightly controlled.

“And that’s how systems need to function. Sure your primary focus is to get the thing up and running, but you need to think about performance, and security, and reliability when you’re architecting a solution. Two weeks before go live is not the time to realise that you’re pulling from an old-timey relational database when you actually needed caching. That the base components of your system just… don’t work together the way you want.” Tony pauses, blinks a couple times. Like his words have outstripped his thoughts and it’s all starting to come together. Form an obvious conclusion. His mouth turns down, goes wry again. “It gets real expensive to fix things then.”

And so it continues. The hour goes by faster than usual, Gwen startling a little by the time Tony wraps up the lecture, a whole five minutes before time like he always prefers to do.

Or… plans to do, perhaps. Mid-morning lectures, people usually have to empty out of these halls fast to get to the next one, but there’s a disordered cluster of students still lingering around the lectern, shooting the shit and exchanging laughs with Tony. He looks visibly better at the end of the hour, more energetic than he did at the start of the lecture. Like it actually rejuvenated him – which isn’t the worst ideal to look up to as a prospective academic.

Whatever, Gwen isn’t getting ahead of herself. She’s got band to get to.

 Of course, when she stuffs her laptop into the tote bag and does a brief check to make sure everything’s in there, she can’t see her fob. Can’t get into the rehearsal room without it, so she gropes for it fruitlessly for a couple of minutes, before resorting to dumping the bag out on her seat. Chocolate wrappers flutter to the ground, a pen cap without a pen rolling down to join them. Handouts from her other classes, worksheets, one physical notebook, a set of drumsticks… no fob.

Ugh. She ducks under her seat to check, nose twitching as the longer end of her bangs ruffle past. There, small and plasticky-blue against the maroon carpet. Fishing it out through the tiny gap is an ordeal, and by the time she has it secure in her pocket, the hall’s empty.

Or not quite. She’s shovelling her stuff one-handed while pacing up the stairs to the exit, when, “–mean to show up at your place of work.”

“You’re my boyfriend Steven, not a stalker. It’s fine.”

Hang on. What?

Tony and some guy – Twig, she can tell by the bony shoulders – Steven, are standing in front of the door. Tony and his boyfriend. Who was in their class. Who was probably not in their class, just physically present in this… particular class.

Tony seems to be frenetically running through similar thoughts, because his mouth just doesn’t stop moving, hands gesturing through the air like a conductor gone loose. “Well, not fine fine. I guess, considering what I – considering all of the… I didn’t know you were in the audience, obviously. I’ll just do as Taylor does and write a song about it the next time.”

Fuck. Can she just… push past them, really quickly? Or right in the middle of them. She’s been to parties where she doesn’t know anybody before, this can’t be any more awkward than that. Probably.

Steven’s already thin lips press tight together. He’s standing very, very straight, not a thing to criticise in that posture. Captain Stacy would be proud.

“Are we,” He starts, deep voice as startling out of that reed-thin frame as it was the first time, stumbling over the words just a little, “breaking up then?”

“What?” Tony breathes, and it’s like it’s stoppered his flow of thought completely.

Steven’s lips flicker up weakly. “You said Taylor.”

“No, no,” Tony’s hands flutter again – he pulls them back and tucks them close over his chest, just a little protective. “Stupid joke, you know me.” And then, just a little wry. “Of all the times to know a modern music reference.”

It’s like he’s laying out bait, an easy diversion. Steven could say something about preferring The Beatles and they needn’t tug on this line of thought, make things unravel.

Maybe it’s why Gwen hasn’t cleared her throat or done anything to clue them off to her presence yet. Something in her is so discomfited, twisted up with the second-hand awkwardness – she can’t let them go on but it would be worse if they saw her – but there’s also a second voice in her head, the one that’s good at moderating and peeling people open from a distance.

if you stop them talking now, when will they try again?

Steven doesn’t take the bait. Something in him strains like he wants to take a step forward, but he doesn’t move. Instead, he says quietly – “I do know you.”

“I know how much you think about us. How much it matters to you to get things right, and I guess I just…” Steven’s mouth purses, soft and unhappy, “take it for granted, all of that work, because it just happens to be who you are. Who you’ve chosen to be.”

“Steve, don’t – we’re both workaholics–”

“We are.” Steve acquiesces, but the words that follow sound implacable. “But you plan around it. Every single thing you said in the lecture, you… you booked those regular grocery deliveries for us, and I cribbed at you about it because they deliver in those plastic bags and the emissions from the delivery trucks–”

“It was a valid fucking point–”

“It was a stupid point, and you were right to tell me that.” Steve says it without hesitation. “I cancelled on our weekend away, again, and you were right to call me out on that this morning too. You just don’t…” A little softer. “Sometimes you don’t say anything.”

A beat.

Tony unfolds his arms, eyes fixed somewhere off-centre around Steve’s collarbone. His voice has dropped to match Steve’s, simmering with something indecipherable. “I was really… happy when you agreed to be with me. Stunned out of my head, sure. But happy. I wanted to get it right. It would have never occurred to me to… with our history, with my history, it just didn’t compute sometimes that…”

Steve cuts in, mouth twisting with it. “That I’d be the screw-up in the relationship?”

“Careful sweetheart.” Tony lifts his eyes, and they’re still warm. “Name-calling is my department.”

But he seems to be taking Steve’s previous words to heart.

“I know…” He swallows. Drops his hands completely, lifts his chin and talks. “I know how much that place means to you, I know how much you’d have killed to have a queer shelter in the neighbourhood, heck in the city, growing up like you did. I want someone who cares about what they do, I’d have been bored to shit with a person coasting by on a job that meant nothing to them. You wanna do paperwork till one am, I’ll be right there on the couch with you marking papers. That is fine, the donations from your own pocket are – don’t cut me off Steve – are fine, even if it is a little like Mrs. March teaching the kids to give away their Christmas meal to the less fortunate. That’s the guy I chose to be with.”

“You need to save the world. You can’t help yourself.” Tony bit into his lip, smile here and gone in a flash. “And I’m just a guy who teaches a couple university classes, while trying to get a startup off the ground for the last five years. But this morning when you…” He sucks in a breath, exhales it soundlessly. “When you looked like you couldn’t imagine how I’d think we wouldn’t cancel… how you disdained the idea of. Of spending time with me, instead of saving the world. Then it felt pretty shitty.”

For a moment, Steve doesn’t say anything at all. His face is pale, cheeks lost of any colour. His eyes have gone red. “I. I’m sorry.”

Tony clears his throat, voice forcibly bright. “Not gonna say you’d never think like that?”

“… doesn’t matter.” Steve says simply. “It’s how I made you feel.”

“There are those unrealistic moral principles I know and love.” Tony’s smiling, only a little watery around the edges. He moves into Steve’s motionless frame, hands reaching out again, this time to catch him by the elbows and smooth down to hang onto his wrists. “We’ll work on it.”

Steve is staring down at their hands, both like they’re condemned and something miraculous. “In the lecture. When you said that the components of the system didn’t work together the way you’d want…”

He looks up. Tony meets his eyes, gives a little shrug. “A better guy would know how important what you’re doing is. Would maybe resent its importance a little less.”

“Tony, I’m not a better person than you are.” Steve’s voice is thick, almost choking with the entreaty. His hands turn in Tony’s loose clasp, gripping back tightly. “Tony.”

Tony gives a little burble of a laugh. Bends over low, forehead brushing Steve’s shoulder. “We’ll work on me too.”

They lean into each other for a moment. Tony’s face is almost hidden behind Steve’s golden locks. “I don’t really care, if you’re better or worse than me. I’m keeping you.”

Steve pulls back. Leans up a fraction to press their lips together, both their eyes fluttering shut.

They pull apart, smiles pulling up on those mouths like mirroring sunrises. Steve leans in for another peck, then quietly pushes the door to step outside. Tony follows him.

 Gwen sits down on the floor, fifteen metres away, laptop thunking into the carpet. She bends her head down to her belly, and breathes.

Fuck, she’s going to feel the anxiety of this in her back for weeks.

Band practice is a loss. The entire morning might be a loss. She needs a cupcake, and some grunge music. But even as vague ideas for the upcoming day begin to coalesce, she can feel a curious lightness shoot through her body. Like she can take it. The aches and pains, the barista shift in the afternoon. Like the world is alright, actually, and she’s not gonna keel over just yet.

This is why she doesn’t watch rom-coms.

She pulls herself up eventually and finally exits the hall. And there, by himself in the corner, completely failing to look like he’s doing anything but waiting for her – is Tony.

The world is a nightmare. She doesn’t stutter. “Did you know I was in there?”

Tony looks like he’d be rubbing the back of his neck abashedly, if he were that kind of guy. Instead, he visibly decides to brazen it out. “Not until the last thirty seconds before we left.”

Small mercies.

“Were you… did you have something to talk to me about? My office hours are 2-3, but��”

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Gwen interrupts, entirely out of patience. That’s what’s going through his head right now?

Tony shuts his mouth with a click, eyebrows rising.

“There’s nothing.” Gwen forces. And then, just as involuntary as the swear – “You’re a good teacher.”

Tony blinks. Gwen remembers him bantering about with her classmates, not losing a step.

“Thanks, Gwen.” His nose looks a little red. So do the very tops of his cheeks. He looks unaccountably pleased.

Gwen’s lips tilt up.

“You could do better than him, you know.”

“I wouldn’t want to.” Tony beams at her. Turns around, waves two fingers. “See you next week.”

The rehearsal hall is in the same direction that he’s walking in. Gwen unerringly walks the other way. By the time she loops the quad and makes it there, she’ll have thirty minutes left. Half of band practice is better than none.

She taps a rhythm on her outer thigh, blows a strand of her bangs out of the eyes. Tugs the tote bag higher up. Band, then lunch, and then maybe she can call her dad.

[poorguysheadisdoingwhatnow]

Kiss in the moonlight with dot? Thanks man we stan

it’s been idk even how many years since you sent this ask originally (at least a billion); here’s the latest gift you’ve ever received bestie ily

----------

1900

They meet on the Manhattan side of the bridge, this time. Spot is standing down by the riverfront, staring at the reflection of the moon on the water. It’s nice out tonight, still warm, the last vestiges of summer beginning to give way to fall. It’s late, almost midnight, but Spot doesn’t mind. He’s always been a night owl despite his job requiring an early start, and there’s something about the night, a certain calm that’s different than that of the dawn. It’s difficult for him to be alone in the mornings, anyway, with the bustle of the other newsies, and his walks across the bridge on certain evenings allow him to sink into his own thoughts, if only for an hour or so.

He’s lost in thought now, still staring out at the water, when a hand on his shoulder startles him. He spins to see Davey, who looks surprised but is already smiling.

“Sorry. I scare you?”

Spot scoffs. “Hardly,” he retorts, but there’s no heat in it. He smiles back at Davey and puts a hand on his upper arm, giving it a fond squeeze. “Good to see ya, Mouth. Been a while, huh?”

“Yeah, too long. Sorry,” Davey says again. “It’s just… it’s been hectic lately.” He doesn’t have to say anything else; Spot knows him well enough. Davey’s dad started working again a couple months after the newsies strike ended the previous year, which meant his mother wanted him and his little brother back in school. Davey and Les still sell papers in the mornings, though, and Sarah works full time as a seamstress. And Davey has been studying much more lately, preparing for…

“So when do you start?” Spot asks.

“In a couple of weeks.” Davey sighs. “Still not even sure if I’m gonna go.”“Of course you’re gonna go,” Spot says, more roughly than he intended. “You’d be stupid not to, Dave. You’re booksmart, it’s part of your charm. Now you get to use it.”

“It’s gonna be so different,” Davey says, staring out at the river like Spot was earlier, a wistful expression on his face. “I mean, it’s college, Spot. I won’t be able to hawk papers anymore, and I won’t get to see… well, see anyone, ya know? And my folks, and Les and Sarah, what if something happens again, and—”

“You’re babblin’,” Spot says, and he places his hands on Davey’s shoulders. “Look at me, Dave.” Davey does, tearing his gaze from the water. “Your dad’s workin’ again, so is Sarah, so is Les, even. And it’s not like you’re gonna be gonna be a thousand miles away. It’s what, an hour, hour and a half walk from your folks’ place? Hell, get a job down there near the college, bring money back to ‘em, and when you get your fancy reporter job, you’ll be makin’ more than you even know what to do with.”

Davey doesn’t say anything, and Spot gives him a gentle shake. “You hearin’ me? Change is hard, Dave, I get it, but you’re gonna get yourself a good life this way.”

At this, Davey cracks a smile. “You sound so wise, Spot. You sure you don’t wanna come with me?”

Spot drops his hands from Davey’s shoulders. “Like they even would.”

“You’re plenty smart, you know that.”

“College ain’t for me, I don’t think,” Spot says. “And I still got kids to look after.”

“Yeah.” Davey takes one of Spot’s hands and holds it in his own. “You ever think about the future, Spot?”

“I do,” Spot admits, “but it’s not here yet, is it?”

“I guess not.”

Davey looks downtrodden. Spot squeezes his hand. “We’re all gonna be alright, Dave. You know that. Hey, how’s Jack, by the way? Still goin’ for that art school he’s been talkin’ about?”

Katherine finally convinced Jack to pursue an art career beyond political cartoons, and Governor (or Vice President now, rather) Roosevelt had put in a good word for him at one of the new private schools, practically ensuring him an acceptance letter and a scholarship.

“He’s excited,” Davey says. His smile hasn’t returned. “He won’t be selling papers for much longer either, I guess.”

“Race and Crutchie and them got those kids well in hand, though, I bet.”

“Yeah. And Jack says he wants to propose to Kath after he gets out of school.”

This surprises Spot, only a little. “Her dad gonna go for that?”

Davey snorts. “Like Katherine would care. Or Jack, for that matter. Anyway, that means they’ll probably take off in a couple years, too. Jack never did stop thinking about Santa Fe, ya know?”

They’re all growing up. It’s a sobering thought, but growing up isn’t that bad, Spot thinks, especially since there was a time when he wasn’t sure he’d get the chance.

“Maybe it won’t be so bad,” Davey says. “College, I mean. Getting older. It’s exciting.” He pauses, like he’s thinking about something. “You’ll… you’ll come visit, right? I mean, like you said, I won’t be far away at all, ‘specially with all the walking we do anyway, but what if I can’t get to Brooklyn, or I want to—”

This time, Spot shuts him up by leaning forward and pressing his lips to Davey’s, soft and quick. When he pulls back, Davey is blushing so fiercely Spot can see it in the dark.

“‘Course I’m gonna visit, Dave,” Spot says. “See you at your fancy college, readin’ your fancy college books and everything? It’ll be like finally seeing you in your natural habitat.”

Davey finally smiles again. “Then it’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, it will.”

They stand in comfortable silence for a long time after that, holding hands and watching the moonlight dance on the water.—1905

The room is thick with cigarette smoke, and Davey feels slightly embarrassed as he suppresses the urge to cough; many of his classmates in college smoked, and most of his coworkers do as well, but he has never understood the appeal. He had tried it once, his first year at school, and immediately coughed so hard he thought he might vomit. Spot had teased him for weeks.

Davey stares into his drink, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips at the memory.

“Amazin’ you haven’t hacked up a lung yet, Dave.”

“...Shut up, Spot.” Davey clears his throat again in an attempt to get rid of the persistent tickle and hands the cigarette back. “Don’t know how you do it.”

“What, this?” Spot takes a long drag, smirks, and blows the smoke up into the air. “Brooklyn boys was practically raised on the stuff.”

“So that’s why you all smell so bad.” That earns Davey a punch in the arm, but he just laughs.

“Just full’a jokes, aren’t you, Mouth?” Spot flicks a bit of ash off the end of the cigarette. “Hey, wanna see me blow a smoke ring?”

“Thinking hard there, David?” Bryan Denton, editor at The Sun and Davey’s new boss, lays a hand on Davey’s shoulders and startles him out of his reverie.

“Just, uh… thinking about old friends, Mr. Denton.”

“No need for the ‘mister,’ David, I’ve told you that,” Denton says. “Old friends, you say?”

“Yeah, a kid I knew back when I was in school.” Davey doesn’t quite know how to quantify his relationship with Spot, and he certainly won’t talk about it to his boss, anyway. “We actually sold papers together for a bit before that. You remember when I told you about the strike?”

“Oh, yes.” Denton takes a sip of his own drink. “Quite an affair, wasn’t it? Shame I was overseas at the time, but that Plumber—I read her articles, you know, once I returned. Fantastic stuff. It’s no wonder she moved up into investigative journalism so quickly. At her age, and as a woman—it’s something to really admire.”

Davey smiles. “It is.” He knows Katherine travels now, selling her stories to newspapers all across the country, really making a name for herself. Jack always sounds so happy in his letters, so proud of Kath’s accomplishments.

“And how are you faring?” Denton asks. “I know sometimes everything feels like it’s moving far too quickly, but that’s the beauty of the news. It’s always moving, and it’s up to us to capture it and give it to the people who need to hear it.”

“It’s fantastic.” And Davey doesn’t have to fake the enthusiasm in his voice. It’s so strange to think that once he was just hawking the news, and now he’s writing it. And with more assignments coming his way every day, he has ample opportunities to make sure he tells people’s stories right.

“I’m glad,” Denton says. “You know, I see a lot of myself in you, David. You’re going to go far. Just make sure to keep your head up and your words honest.”

David feels heat rising in his face and takes another sip of his drink, hoping Denton will think it’s just the alcohol. “Thank you, sir.”

“Good lad.” Denton reaches over and gives Davey’s shoulder a warm, brief squeeze. “I will see you tomorrow. Early day and all that—the news never sleeps.”

“The news never sleeps,” Davey agrees. Denton gives him a nod before rising from the table. Davey watches him gather his coat and hat and leave the building. He should leave, too, he thinks, even as he orders another drink and sits back in his seat, watching other patrons come and go.

Some time later, Davey has finished his second drink, and the smell of smoke is beginning to make his head pound. He gathers his things and is headed for the front door when it opens again, and another group of men floods in.

Dockworkers, probably, Davey thinks, noting the smell of seawater wafting into the room as well. He waits for the crowd to thin so he can leave, and when it doesn’t—surely, the saloon is not large enough for all these people—he resorts to pushing his way through. He is nearly to the door when someone bumps his shoulder and he staggers.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” the man says, and Davey is about to wave him off when he realizes he knows that voice.

“Spot?”

They stare at each other for a moment; Spot looks as surprised as Davey feels. But then Spot’s shock quickly melts and he gives Davey a grin and a hearty clap on the shoulder.

“Dave! How are ya? It’s been…”

Too long, Davey thinks. He and Spot had lost touch somewhere in Davey’s second year of college, after Spot got a job at the docks and Davey got busy with the school paper.

“It’s been ages, huh?” he says. “It’s good to see you, Spot.”

“Wow, I haven’t heard that name in a while,” Spot says, taking his hand from Davey’s shoulder. Davey pretends he doesn’t miss the warmth. “Mostly Sean now, down at the docks.”

“You know, I didn’t know your real name for months after the strike,” Davey says. Spot laughs, and it’s a wonderful sound.

“I was probably the one who told ya, wasn’t I?”

“I think so. I asked Jack once, but he said, ‘he’ll soak me good if I let it slip, Mouth.’”

“And he was right,” Spot says, but his voice is light.

“Hey, Conlon!” a burly man close to the bar interrupts, waving toward them. “You gonna order?”

The spell of the moment is broken. Davey suddenly feels like an intruder; he’s not in Spot’s life anymore, they’ve both moved on.

“I should go, Spot,” he says, turning back toward the door. “It was, uh, it was good seeing you.”

Before he can change his mind, he gives Spot’s arm a subtle, fleeting squeeze and pushes through the crowd.

He opens the door and escapes into the crisp evening air. Winter hasn’t tightened its grip on the city yet, and the night is cool but comfortable. Davey takes a moment to breathe, pushing away the guilt that has begun to encroach upon his thoughts. But he’s only taken a few steps when the door opens behind him.

“Dave, wait.” Spot’s voice is enough to make Davey hesitate for a moment, then Spot’s hand is on his shoulder again.

When Davey turns, Spot looks sadder than he’s ever seen him, his eyes suspiciously shiny under the dim light of the waning moon. To Davey’s embarrassment, his own eyes prickle almost painfully. He glances around; for the moment, they’re alone in the street. But before he can gather his courage, Spot surprises him by leaning forward first. Their lips graze each other tentatively, and Spot starts to pull back, but now Davey is ready. He tangles his fingers in the front of Spot’s sweater and drags him closer, and this time their lips crash together. The kiss is deep and hot, desperate and soul-crushing and perfect.

When they finally separate, Davey can see the tears on Spot’s cheeks. He realizes this is the first time he’s ever seen Spot cry, but he doesn’t mention it; his own face feels damp and there’s a lump in his throat.

“I can’t lose you again, Dave,” Spot croaks.

Davey laughs, raspy and relieved. He had forgotten what this felt like—what Spot felt like. He closes his eyes and leans forward until their foreheads are touching. His hand finds the back of Spot’s neck and stays there, squeezing gently.

“You won’t.”—1910

Sean walks briskly down the street, straightening his cap for what feels like the hundredth time as he dodges another pair of people walking too damn slow. It’s his first night of shore leave, and the moon is full and high in the sky. The weather is perfect, a warm breeze carrying the promise of summer drifting between the buildings, but Sean barely notices it; he just wants to get home. He tries to resist the urge to jog, but once his apartment building comes into view, he can’t help it. He runs the last couple blocks and wrenches open the front door, nearly bowling down his elderly neighbor.

“I am so sorry, Miss Leary,” he says, taking off his cap and nodding his head in apology. But she just laughs.

“That is quite all right, son.” She gives him a wink. “I saw your friend get back just about two hours ago; he looked just as excited as you do. Better get upstairs.”

Sean feels his cheeks heat. He grins and nods again, then holds the door open for Miss Leary as she leaves. Then he’s hurrying up the stairs two at a time until he reaches the seventh floor.

He passes Miss Leary’s apartment and then he’s standing in front of the door at the end of the hall. He turns the knob and enters the small but well-organized living room, places his cap on a nearby wall hook, drinks in the sight of home. And there, in one of the armchairs that faces the large windows overlooking the rest of the neighborhood, sits David, scribbling away in one of his many notebooks. A small pile of the things has already accumulated on the floor beside his chair.

“Still working?” Sean can’t suppress his smile as David jumps, obviously startled. “I thought this was supposed to be a break.”

David recovers quickly and jumps up from his chair, dropping his notebook carelessly on a nearby end table as he crosses the living room. Sean meets him halfway, his fingers tangling in David’s hair as he presses his lips to David’s own. They take a moment like that, then David pulls away just enough to smile at Sean.

“Hello, sailor,” he says cheekily.

Sean rolls his eyes. “Hello yerself. How’s life on the front lines?” He tries to keep his voice light, but he can tell by David’s falling expression that he didn’t quite succeed. David knows his job as a war correspondent for The Sun worries Sean, and Sean’s naval duties aren’t much better at the moment. But there will be time to talk about that later, Sean decides.

“Never mind,” he says, pulling David close again. “But you gotta stop workin’ so hard; I’m sure the news can survive a couple nights with you, huh? I only got a few days on shore, after all.”

“Yeah, it can wait.” David toys with Sean’s neckerchief. “I’ve missed you, Spot.”Sean laughs at the old nickname, but it warms his heart to hear it again. “I’ve missed you too, Mouth.”

Now it’s David’s turn to laugh, and it’s the best thing Spot’s heard in months. This is the first time they’ve seen each other since their jobs took them to opposite sides of the world near the beginning of the year, and Sean is going to enjoy every moment of it. He pulls David toward the windows and they stand together, staring out into the darkness. The city looks better at night, Sean decides, when it’s lit up only by the streetlamps and the light of the moon.

“I’ve always liked this time of night,” David says, as if reading Sean’s mind. “Especially when the moon is full.” It illuminates his face and reflects off his eyes until they almost seem to glow.

“Me too.” Sean leans over and kisses David’s cheek. If he had his way, they would stand here forever, under the moonlight. “Me too, Dave.”

[beck-a-leck]

What are your headcanon ages for the main character, bachelors, and bachelorettes from Rune Factory 4?

oh my gosh I started answering this like a week ago and then it fell through one of the swiss cheese holes in my brain. Sorry Nonny!

I don't really have any hard headcanons about the rf4 character ages, and really what I do have is just kind of a general age range for them. But if you're curious about how the characters read to me maturity-wise I'll tell you.

Frey/Lest - I think they're in their early 20s, somewhere between 19-23 at the beginning of the game. the amnesia helps them have a bit more of the "youthful innocence" that just comes as being that age. Like you can clearly tell they're grown and responsible enough to have been given the story-compelling mission in the first place, but that also have the energy and optimism of someone who still sees the world as completely open to possibilities without as much of the "i need to have my shit together" vibes an older 20-something might have

Amber and Kiel are the ones I headcanon as the youngest, and they both give me very strong late-teens/babey adult vibes. I don't see them any older than 19 at the beginning of the game. And depending on when in the RF world society would consider someone a Full Adult TM, it can change the lower end of that age range, so even to 16 or 17. They're not children, but they're still kids, if that makes sense. They both still have "parental" figures in their lives so they're not entirely independent as an older adult might be.

Forte, though I actually don't think is too much older than Kiel, she's maybe just a few years older than him. So about the same age as Frey/Lest, early 20s, no older than 25. I think given her family history and her general character she was definitely the girl who had to grow up too fast and has acted more mature than other kids her age needed to. So she can very easily be read as older, but I think there's enough clues in her dialogue and her character to show that she's younger than she wants people to perceive her as.

I get the same general age range from Vishnal and Clorica too, 19-25 though probably closer to college ages. Vishnal I think is the younger of the two butlers. Their roles as apprentices and the fact that they're still in training tells me they're probably still rather young adults. I imagine butler training of the caliber they're going through is a 4-6 year ordeal and I imagine they would have started in their late teens/early 20s, much like most people choosing a career path.

Xiao Pai and Doug are the last of the under 25s. It's hard to know Doug's precise age, given he's not human and dwarves are long-lived in the RF world. So while he might look and act like a hot-headed 19-22 year old, he might be 60-70 years old. They've never really spelled out the lifetimes of the non-human races. Xiao Pai I tend to read as on the younger end of her 20s, but given the way she acts and her general clumsiness (which are often associated with younger people) she could also be older than that. It's hard to say.

Margaret is another one of those ambiguously ages characters, being an elf, we don't actually know how old she is. But I definitely read her as an adult in her mid-late 20s. I think she's the eldest-coded bachelorette, so I could even see her as a 30-something. (I genuinely don't think any of the bachelorettes are supposed to be older than 30 because god knows the developers would have had them complaining about being an old maid and a spinster 🙄) She just reads as a character who has had much more worldly experience than the younger girls, and yeah, some of that can be attributed to the fact that she's had Decades more time and lots of freedom than the others, but she also feels more settled into life and adulthood than a younger character would.

Dolce I think is mid-20s. I can't really explain it, but she just gives me "I'm 25 and I've finally felt my brain chemistry solidify" vibes. I do think what she went through in her life, as well as dealing with an eternally youthful and chaotic spirit of Pico probably made her act more mature than she was, much like Forte, but I also do think she's just a little bit older than most of the other marriage candidates in town.

Dylas and Arthur I think are around the same age, mid-20s. Arthur I could push to late-20s, but there's something about his character that makes me go "oh no, he still has that independent streak of the young 20s" I do think his upbringing also forced maturity onto him at a younger age than would otherwise be expected, but he also took on responsibilities that people might not expect someone so young to do (he also shirked the responsibilities he didn't want to do, so again that independent/rebellious streak) Dylas I think acts younger than he really is, though he's really not all that old. I think he got to spend a several years living as an adult in his original time before becoming a guardian, though he didn't really see himself as 'grown' back then and that carried over to how he behaves in game (with additional traumas)

Which brings us to Leon as the last, I think. He's the one I could possibly see being the oldest of all the bachelors, late-20s to early-30s. In his life before becoming a guardian he has established a whole vocation and had been in it long enough to become a high-ranking priest. Even if he had started his vocational training as a young teen, I don't think he could have gotten as far without spending a good portion of his 20s working at it.

So the tl;dr list:

Lest/Frey: 19-23

Amber: 16-19

Clorica: 22-26

Dolce: 24-28

Forte: 22-25

Margaret: 25-30

Xaio Pai: 20-25

Arthur: 24-28

Doug: 19-24

Dylas: 24-28

Kiel: 16-19

Leon: 27-33

Vishnal: 20-24

[zegrvshvghes]

Missing your love- AF19

God i love Adam so much, also bully me please. Tell me everything wrong with this i want feedback. I love this stupid little canadian.

check out my masterlist for more 💌

Adam fell madly in love with you. You two met when you were both in college and hit it off right away. You spent all your time together, laughing and exploring the city. Adam knew that he had found the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

However, as time went on, things started to change. You became more focused on your career and less focused on your relationship. You would cancel plans last minute and seemed distant whenever you were together. Adam tried to talk to you about it, but you always brushed him off.

Weeks turned into months, Adam realized that he was falling out of love with you. He couldn't bear to be with someone who didn't prioritize the relationship. He felt like he was constantly making an effort while you were taking him for granted.

"I feel like we're not growing anymore. We haven't gotten any closer in the past few months, and it feels like we're just going through the motions."

You wiped your tears away and sat back on the couch. "I didn't know you felt this way," you said quietly.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you," Adam said. "I just don't think this is working anymore."

You sat there, thinking, for a long time. Finally, you looked up at Adam with a sad but determined look on your face. "I don't want to hold you back from happiness," you said. "I love you enough to let you go if that's what you need."

Adam breathed a sigh of relief. He had feared that you would be angry or defensive, but your understanding and willingness to let him go made him feel like he was making the right decision. "I love you too, I Always will," he said.

"It hurts, but I know we'll both be okay in the long run," You said, standing up from the couch. "I should go so we can both have some space to think."

Adam watched you leave, feeling guilty and sad but also a sense of freedom. He knew that he had made the right choice, even though it hurt.

It was a difficult decision, but Adam knew he had to end things with you. The thought of being with someone who he believed didn't love him back was unbearable. However, Adam knew deep down that he couldn't continue to put in all the effort without getting anything in return.

The breakup was tough on both of you, but he knew it was the right decision. He needed to find someone who would love him as much as he loved them, and who would prioritize their relationship just as much as he did.

He felt himself moving on. He started going out more, spent time on his hobbies, and even started dating a little bit. He felt like himself again, but he also knew that he would never forget you and the love you had once shared.

Weeks turned into months, and Adam eventually found someone who loved him just as fiercely as he loved them. Looking back on his relationship with you, he realized that falling out of love had been a necessary step towards finding true happiness.

He realized that he deserved someone who would love him and care for him, and he was able to find that person in the end. It just goes to show that everything happens for a reason, even when it hurts at the time.

Months later, Adam ran into you at your favourite coffee shop. You exchanged awkward hellos and caught up on how your lives had been over the time you had been apart.

"I think we needed this break," You said. "I've learned so much about myself and what I want in life."

Adam smiled at you, feeling a renewed sense of appreciation for the person you were. "Me too," he said.

You talked for a little while longer, and then it was time to say goodbye. This time, there were no tears or anger, just a sense of closure and understanding.

As Adam walked away, he felt grateful for the time he had spent with you and the lessons he had learned. Falling out of love had been hard, but it had been worth it to find himself and what he truly wanted in life.

[ladylooch]

Does lucie call lio 🥺 I KNOW she gets back with Connor but when

Ma’am i am spiraling 😭

Welllll, they happen at different times. But here is her resolution with Lio to start.

Lucie shows up at the apartment later the day of Connor’s visit. Connor answers the door.

“I’m here for Lio.” She says immediately so there is no questioning. He nods, stepping aside for her to walk in. 

“Lee, Lu is here.” Connor calls as he heads back to the kitchen where he had been making a sandwich. It takes all of his control to do so. He wants to get on his knees, beg for her to reconsider their break up. But this visit isn’t about him. He can wait another painfully long day.

Lucie watches him in the kitchen, wanting to go sit on the counter next to him while he folds ingredients together into the perfect meal. He’s so good at that. He learned how to cook from his dad and the joy it brings him always made Lucie want to watch him do it. 

I love him, she thinks to herself. Why did she do this to them? Everything that felt so stressful a few weeks ago, feels worse without him, and not important compared to the loss of his love.

“Hey LuLu.” Lio says from her left. She pulls her eyes away from Connor to him. “Wanna walk and talk?” He asks, sensing her turmoil. She can only nod for fear of sobbing her answer.

“I’m sorry about last night…” Lio starts. “I would never do that to you, Luc. I was trying to help Con and thought he would like the places we were planning to go. Her friend showed up without either of us knowing. Connor didn’t even do anything with her.” 

“I know. I was upset and took the blame out on you.” Lio wraps an arm around her shoulders, stopping them so they can hug. 

“You feel a million miles away from me right now.”

“I have to be. Otherwise you’re in the middle where you asked both of us not to put you.” Lio can only sigh because she is right. 

“How much longer is this going to go? Like is this forever?”

“I don’t know. It all feels really stupid right now.” She squeezes her eyes shut as tears come out. “ I just want him to hold me. And forgive me.”

“Lu, he did the moment the words left your mouth. He wants what is best for you. Always.”

“This sucks. I have the biggest final of my college career tomorrow and Connor is the only thing I can focus on. I’m going to fail. What will I tell my dad?” She has large tears collecting on her cheeks that Lio wipes away. 

“You could murder someone and your dad would still love you. Why are you so worried about that?”

“I never want him to be disappointed in me.”

“Look what that is doing to you. You’re not perfect, Luc. Stop trying to be.” Lucie nods, knowing he is right. It sounds so easy when Lio says it but she isn’t sure how to do that. Lio understands what it was like to grow up in their family with the extra attention and expectation. 

“Do you have time for pancakes?” Lio looks at his watch and nods.

“Yeah, but we have to stay in the neighborhood.”

“Okay, Al’s?”

“Duh.” He keeps his arm hooked around her shoulders as they walk to the little diner they found drunk one night with Connor.

[jaydenundercover11]

Day Fourteen Day Fifteen Day Sixteen

im SOOOOO SORRY that I left you guys hanging those two days! *cries* the first one I genuinely forget, and the second I was too busy to do it- and I think that this is not the first time this might happen, since the farm (oh yeah, if you're not one of my regular followers, you should know I'm a farmhand lol) is picking up steam, during my down time Im trying to do more physical rest for my body to recover. which means unfortuantely, Ive been spending less time on here in general, and that my longer posts that take more time to write have had to pause for a while.

so, I'm sorry to say but this is the last day i'll be able to do this for a while, but maybe forever. I've had so much fun with it and loved to see everybody's different answers, and how we've all connected!! but for at least a few days/weeks, I need a bit of a break lol. if anyone wants to pick up this game again, with the same list of people I've given already or different ones, you are more than welcome to! and I'm not leaving Tumblr, I'm just not going to do this particular ask game anymore.

our final question: what is something that you you want in your life, and what can you do to achieve it? what steps do you need to take to earn the life you see yourself living?

thank all of you so much! I hope to return again maybe sometime! I wish you all the best :)

I can't believe its ending omg - I've had so much fun with this series and I am so thankful that I ended up joining! Of course take all the break time you need Gracie, no rush from me! Anyways, here's my answer!

I honestly dont know what I wanna do with my life.. the question kinda scares me in a sense because I just dont know what i'd be good at or what i'd enjoy. There are the basic options that I kinda wanna do like being a doctor or scientist or smth like that but its just so complicated and i already pressure myself enough to stay "at the top" of my classes, so having to stay at the top on a harder train of classes seems impossible almost. And its also something that you HAVE to enjoy, because if your not good at it or not focused then that could be really bad.. Then I always have wanted to be an author, but i work so so hard in school trying to keep grades up and things like that to get into a good college - like harvard, but if i be an author then almost none of that matters. I mean yeah you can go to school for that but its not the same as if I was trying to get into harvard law, its just going to college for extra advice and learning you can use in your writing (i think i dont actually know..). And I have recently wanted to become a violinist, but a part of me just hates that idea. Like it scares me being on stage and performing for people (also why im not good at sports in a sense) and i feel like I have to be the best at the violin so its just.. yeah.

BUT, for the sake of this question, we'll say I wanted to become a violinist. First, I still do school but I focus a lot on my orchestra classes. I also sign up for things like chamber or honors orchestra to really step up music game. So i do that, and on the side or over summer I go to private lessons to keep my skills sharp. Then, I graduate and I go to a music school! For example we could say Juliard. I honestly dk what happens after that but I just practice violin a lot, learn new skills, and perform a lot too I guess!

However, some skills that can be used for all potential careers could be things like perseverance, practicing a lot on my skillset, no matter what it is. Also, time management is a huge thing to be able to manage all work and stuff. Mainly just soft skills i guess! (if u you dont know soft skills are just the skills you learn over time at jobs, so things like kindness, compassion, teamwork, etc)

And thats it! thank you so much for these amazing questions and have a great break from them/whatever else! 💕💕

[bitchinbarzal]

Vancouver | J.Hughes

summary: after a hurtful breakup he never thought he’d hear her voice again.

not entirely sure what this is but have it anyway

-

Through high school and all the junior clubs he went through, Jack stayed devoted to you and your relationship.

It surprised a lot of people. He was the supposed heartbreaker and player of the group of friends but he proved everyone wrong.

It all went downhill after the draft.

You’d been alongside him when he was drafted, cheering the loudest alongside his family. You were so proud of him.

He wasn’t like Quinn, he didn’t want to take time out or go slow into his career. When he heard first pick it went straight to his head.

It hurt to see what he became right infront of your eyes. He made the move straight to Jersey, threw himself into the team and proving himself to the organisation while pushing you away in the meantime.

The breakup was slow and he was oblivious. You’d stayed in Michigan after he left so the phone calls got fewer and fewer, you stop flying out to visit so much and even stopped hanging out with his family.

It became final when you flew out to Jersey to watch a game. He hadn’t done much with you being there and when the weekend ended and you had your bags packed you held onto him for just a little longer.

“Goodbye J” you mumbled, a slight crack in your voice.

“I’ll see you in a couple weeks at the red wings game, right? No need to be upset babe”

You shook your head “No, Jack I- I don’t think I can do this any longer”

“What? What are you talking about?”

He reached out for your hand but you pulled away

“I lost you Jack-“ “I’m right here! What are you on about?”

You were trying so hard not to get upset “I lost you, the real you, my Jack back in Vancouver. The day you became Jack Hughes the devil I lost you”

He had been rendered speechless, stumbling back a few steps.

“Goodbye Jack”

No reply. Just the sound of your suitcase wheels squeaking out the door for the last time.

He was heartbroken.

The days, weeks, months following he reflected on everything that had happened since he had been drafted.

Maybe you were right.

He’d tried filling the void with random party girls, set ups and dating app girls but nothing ever came close.

His family saw you around still. You went to lunch with Luke oftentimes but he never told Jack about it.

You’d told him that you’d dropped out of college and signed a record deal. You were finally getting your dream of creating music, being a voice and being heard.

“We’re really proud of you - all of us. We’re just really sorry”

“Everything happens for a reason Lu, I’m okay”

The first song you produced hit number one on the charts days after it’s release, it was all over social media.

It was the off season and the Hughes’ were all home at the lake house with their friends. Fourth of July, everyone was over.

Someone had brought out a speaker to the deck, tuning in the radio and turning up the volume to the max volume.

“and next up we have a brand new artist on the scene, she’s still young but she’s already broken the internet with her sound. this is vancouver by y/n y/l/n”

Everyone quietened down, some throwing glances Jack’s way as the music began.

He looked straight at the speaker as if it were you standing there.

He never thought he’d hear your voice again.

“-but I lost you in vancouver, it’s still so cold”

“I lost you when the devil got a hold”

He felt like he couldn’t breathe mid way through the song, standing up to excuse himself. He broke down in the living room still hearing your voice in the background.

Ellen rushed in behind him, holding onto him from the back whispering “It’s okay, you’re okay sweetheart”

“Mom-“ “I know baby, I know it’s okay”

He wasn’t the same that summer and returned to Jersey sooner than planned just throwing himself into work.

The season opener brought plenty questions from the media

“Jack, you signed a huge contract this off season. How do you feel? What’s the plan?”

“Um yeah, I mean I think I just gotta keep my head down and prove to the organisation we can continue what we started back in Vancouver, I lost a lot to get to this point and I’m gonna make sure it wasn’t for nothing. I’ve got a lot of people behind me to support so I just gotta do what I can”

At home, you sat watching the interview

“I’ll always be behind you J, you got this”

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

Night Drive (Kim Hongjoong and Park Seonghwa) Rated

Pairing: Dilf!/College Professor! Kim Hongjoong × Younger College Student! Reader (Female) × Dilf/College Professor! Park Seonghwa

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Dilf AU.

Summary: Being picked up by her boyfriend for a date, Y/N has no idea about Hongjoong's plans nor about the surprise guest joining them in their little night drive.

Word Count: 6K+

Warnings: Aged up/Older Ateez (but age differences are still within legal boundaries), exhibitionism, voyeurism, breast play, fingering, tiny allusion to infidelity (which I do not condone nor justify), breeding/pregnancy kink, slight creampie kink, katoptronophilia (mirror kink basically), daddy word, degradation, manhandling, unprotected penetrative sex (always use protection), Dom! SeongJoong, Sub! Reader

Taglist: @seacottons @little-precious-baby @yunhofingers @multidreams-and-desires @brie02 @deja-vux @daniblogs164 @couchpotatoaniki @a-soft-hornytiny @yunsangoveryonder @minhyukmyluv @mingismoon @nanamarkie @ateezbabysitters @rainteez02

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Rolling down the darkly tinted window of his midnight black Buick Regal, Hongjoong greeted the young and beautiful student that was standing by the curbside of the entrance to his college dormitories, her face lighting up instantly when she saw him. Wasting no second, she quickly opened the door and fitted her frame inside the passenger seat of the car.

"I was supposed to get the door for you." His lips curled up slightly into a pout.

"I know, but..... I just couldn't wait to see you." Leaning over, she boldly pressed her lips against that of the older male's, a soft and content hum being breathed out by him, soon turning into an annoyed whine when she pulled back too soon for his liking.

"Professor." Her tone changed slightly, a suggestive giggle escaping her lips as she leaned back in, this time the kiss turning more heated with her tongue attempting to slide inside his mouth, which he would have allowed had he not had on the back of his mind the other plans he had for the night.

"Naughty naughty girl, wanting to get frisky not even a minute into our date." He snorted softly as one of his hands came up to lightly pat her cheek with his palm in a chastising manner.

Switching the gear shift to drive, Hongjoong pulled out of the entrance and onto the main road to take both of them to the place he had chosen for their nightly getaway. The girl beside him was clearly anxious and he didn't blame her. It had been a grueling time the past weeks due to the semester being over and everyone, students and teachers were stressing over final exams. Hongjoong's hand still ached somewhat from grading too many papers and reports, his head pulsing endlessly with a killer migraine. But at last, that was all over and he was finally able to take his younger lover out properly, spend time with her after missing her voice, touch, body, and all of her in general. He had the entire evening planned out, unlike anything she would have expected. It was hard for him to suppress the smirk creeping into his features as he thought about how the night would end if his plans succeeded how he wanted them to.

He often took a small glance to see her pretty face looking out the window, tediously watching all the shops and cars they passed on the drive to whatever destination he was taking to her, which he adamantly refused to say, keeping his lips sealed. Every once in a while, he'd notice the way she squirmed in her seat, her fingers occasionally playing around with the hem of the white skirt she decided to wear or her palm straight on rubbing the side of her thigh.

"Oh so you are indeed horny my little kitten. Absolutely perfect." Hongjoong thought to himself. It was exactly how he wanted her: wet, horny and desperate by the time they made their first stop.

"Honey, I hope you don't mind, but I have to stop here for a second."

The girl didn't protest, simply nodded and didn't think too much about him pulling up and parking in front a luxurious building. Parking the car, Hongjoong waited patiently until a familiar figure finally came out and made their way over to his car, waving a hand in his direction. Not knowing there already was an occupant in the front seat, the stranger hastily opened the door, taking a step back when he saw who was sitting next to Hongjoong.

"Y/N?" He questioned in shock.

"Professor Park?" She exclaimed just as he, her head whipping over to demand an explanation from Hongjoong as to why one of the other professors from the university was currently there, especially when their relationship was to remain a secret from the school. Hongjoong however kept his grin plastered on, as if nothing was the matter.

"Sorry Hwa, looks like someone already took your seat."

Pointing over at the backseat, his friend let out a soft huff as he began closing the door.

"Wait! Seonghwa, don't close that door yet."

Reaching his hand over, Hongjoong unbuckled Y/N's seatbelt before telling her:

"Honey, go ride in the back with him."

Her eyes bulged out, her mouth muttering softly to him if he was insane, yet Hongjoong was still calm as he reached a hand up and caressed her cheek.

"Trust me baby." He whispered before placing a soft peck on her lips.

Reddening significantly, Y/N got out of the car, thanking the other male when he was kind enough to open the door for her to let her inside first before he himself took his place right next to her. Both of them looked over at each awkwardly, wondering what on earth was Hongjoong thinking. Y/N averted her gaze and stared at the floor mat, desperately hoping that afterwards, the witness to hers and Hongjoong's relationship wouldn't go directly to the school board and cause problems for them. Seonghwa on the other hand had so many questions spiraling in his head, mainly his friend's relationship with the student next to him, and more importantly, why he had kept that secret from him. The car ride now felt even more long and brooding with the tension in the air, the music playing from the stereo not helping at all and just making the environment more unpleasant.

Looking back at them through the rearview mirror, Hongjoong let out a small chuckle.

"I'm sure you're both wondering why I brought you here without telling you the reasons."

Seonghwa and Y/N glanced briefly at one another, the older male shrugging softly, just as lost as she was. Sighing softly, Hongjoong continued.

"Well to start off, I think it's very clear that all those rumors about a teacher and student sleeping together are indeed true my friend."

Seonghwa widened his eyes at Hongjoong, his lips parting as he let out an astonished scoff. Although more than once he heard a few whispers every now and then about his colleague getting too friendly with one of his students, he always believed them to be lies, knowing Hongjoong to be a sensible and well respected professor that would never risk his career over something like that. As if reading his friend's thoughts, Hongjoong piped up once more.

"What can I say? I couldn't resist myself when I saw her, especially when you see what's underneath those clothes of hers."

Peeking his head over, Hongjoong sweetly smiled at the quiet girl.

"Baby, do me a favor and unbutton your blouse for me. Let Seonghwa see those pretty tits of yours."

Y/N was taken aback by his sudden order, her voice getting caught in her throat and stammering out a bit of gibberish as she tried to remind herself to form proper words.

"Hong- Hongjoong!" She whisper yelled at him, embarrassed about being asked to do such a dirty request in front of another teacher. Seonghwa himself shifted uncomfortably in his seat, still saying absolutely nothing as he tried to look somewhere else.

"Oh come on kitten, don't be shy. You have the cutest set of tits a man could see. Besides...." Y/N could clearly see the smug grin on he was donning through the rearview mirror, his eyes also looking at her direction.

"I know very well you want Seonghwa to touch you. I heard you the other day talking with your friends, and if I remember correctly, you said you wouldn't mind having him play with your body and be his little toy."

Y/N lowered her head in shame. She didn't believe Hongjoong would have heard her when she said that. She didn't even dare lift her eyes to the man next to her, afraid of seeing whatever expression he had in his face. She did however, hear him chuckle amusedly, his voice finally being heard.

"Oh my. Hongjoong, is she really that much of a whore that she's fantasizing about fucking other men even when she has you?"

Taking off his seatbelt, Seonghwa scooted over towards her, his face coming so dangerously close she could feel his breath against her ear.

"What darling? Does he not fuck you enough? Is he not treating you properly? Or do you perhaps just want a more......endowed cock?"

Y/N couldn't help but shudder when his hand lifted up to cup her chin, turning her face so he could look her directly in the eye. Seonghwa couldn't deny that her startled look turned him on extremely.

"Now I'm extremely curious to find out just how cute you really are without those clothes on. Is Hongjoong just talking you up or am I really going to have to restrain myself from eating you up if I tear those clothes off one by one?" He hummed softly as he brushed his lips against hers, causing Y/N's breath to hitch slightly.

"Kitten, I believe I gave you an order a few minutes ago and you know I hate repeating myself. Undo your shirt so Seonghwa can look at your chest."

Y/N bit her lip as her hands reached up and began to pop each of the buttons of her grey cardigan. The pair of eyes on her right were burning a hole right through her and it only served to deepen the intense wanting she was feeling in between her legs. After undoing enough buttons to expose her black bra, Y/N pulled the material down enough so her breasts could pop out of them. The soft groan her teacher emitted helped fuel her pride, especially after looking up and seeing him nearly drool at the sight, tongue coming out to moisten his luscious and pink lips.

"Fuck Joong....you weren't kidding when you said she has a pretty rack." His hand clenched and unclenched itself in an effort to meet from reaching out to cup one of her tits in his palm.

Knowing exactly the lustful thoughts running through his friend's mind, Hongjoong was more than willing to grant them without any grudges.

"Now kitten, I want you to be a good girl and let Seonghwa play with you as he wants. Tonight, you're going to be his personal toy and you have to do everything he tells you to do. Am I making myself clear?"

Y/N quickly nodded, too aroused and turned on that she wouldn't have cared if it was Seonghwa touching her and Hongjoong watching or Hongjoong touching her and Seonghwa watching. She just wanted someone to help the emptiness she was feeling.

"You're serious about this Joong? I can really use her as my personal sex toy?" He questioned with a wicked grin, hand coming up to clasp around Y/N's jaw.

"She's all yours Hwa. We have a couple minutes before we reach the hotel that I booked a room in. Think you can get her wet enough by the time we get there?"

Seonghwa let out a hearty laugh at Hongjoong's challenge.

"I'll get her drenched without making her cum, don't worry about it."

Tilting her face towards him, Seonghwa winked at her before crashing his lips onto hers. Just as she suspected, Seonghwa's lips were soft and plump, and they seemed to be avid fans of nibbling playfully against her own lips. The hand that was on her chin swooped itself down and pressed itself against her sternum, fingers delicately caressing the skin around it. Sweeping his hand with feather light strokes, Seonghwa moved his fingers across the top of her breasts and then to the sides, caressing each and every inch of her skin, being careful not to directly touch her nipples. He wanted to tease her, rile her up, have her writhe and whine about the lack of contact on the parts of her body where she most needed him. He was enjoying himself, enjoying as he silently tortured the girl by merely touching the outer parts of her soft mounds. It didn't take long for her to notice this cruel pattern of his, the frustrated groan she poured out as his tongue devoured her mouth being a tell tale sign.

"Such an impatient one." Seonghwa chuckled, dragging his tongue down the side of her neck.

He then surprised her by cupping one of her breasts into his large hand, tenderly massaging the spongy like flesh while his thumb worked to harden the nipple even more. Y/N threw her head back, giving Seonghwa more access to press tiny love bites across her neck and collarbone. His other hand, being bored with nothing to do, came up and proceeded to give the same treatment its twin was receiving, groping it and fondling it until she was releasing the cutest noises to bless his ears.

"If you're already like this with me just touching your breasts, how will you be when I play with that pussy of yours?"

Y/N couldn't help but let an embarrassingly loud moan escape when she heard him say that, her walls tightening and clenching around nothing as she thought about having Park Seonghwa sliding his hand in between her folds. Even Hongjoong was surprised by the effect his friend was having on her, making him slightly jealous and yet not so as he was enjoying glancing over every now and then to watch his beloved girl be used in such a way by another man. He couldn't quite explain why, but offering up his prized possession as nothing more than an object of pleasure to someone else, his closest friend nonetheless, made him get unbelievably hard. If he could, he would have whipped himself out and would have started to beat his meat, but unfortunately he had to pay attention to the road in front of him, going slightly above the speed limit in an effort to reach the hotel as fast as possible, all while occasionally sparing a glance or two through the mirror to look at Y/N's lust filled state of mind.

"Spread your legs for me young lady. Let me see just how wet you are."

Obeying without hesitation, Y/N made sure to pull up her skirt, revealing the skimpy choice of lace underwear she had chosen for the evening. Seonghwa sucked in a deep breath when he saw it.

"Did you come here knowing you were gonna get fucked?"

"More like hoping she would get fucked." Hongjoong spoke up with a lighthearted teasing tone.

Hooking his fingers on the top of her panties, Seonghwa practically ripped the material off her body, sliding it down her legs before bringing it up to his face and inhaling deeply.

"Oh god you smell so delicious." He grunted as his nostrils basked in the scent of her arousal.

"Why don't you keep them as a memoir? Cause after tonight, I'm not letting you touch her again."

Hongjoong's statement made Seonghwa remember that he still had a task at hand. Making sure to tuck her panties inside his pant pocket, Seonghwa turned his attention back to her glistening folds. They were practically inviting him to shove his hand as far as it could possibly reach inside, he was very tempted to even fist her tiny hole right then and there. But he would much rather prefer to work her up even further, tease her until she was begging him to fuck her. When she saw his hands come down, Y/N instinctively parted her knees even further, adjusting herself on the seat so he could reach every part of her exposed womanhood.

"You've trained the slut well Hongjoong." Both the trainer and his trainee lit up at the praise from their guest.

"Yes, my girl is the best." Hongjoong proudly added, as he reached a hand back to squeeze one of Y/N's legs in a loving manner.

Seonghwa's thumbs slid themselves right up to her groin, massaging the tendons at either side of her pussy, only briefly allowing them to brush against her lips. Y/N couldn't help but gasp as he pulled the flesh at either side, stretching out her wet entrance slightly, the cool air from the air conditioning hitting right at her slopping mound. Seonghwa continued this pattern of pressing her swelling lips apart and then rubbing his fingers down the sides, frustrating the recipient as he didn't actually touch the parts where she needed him most. He was toying around with her again, no doubt trying to get her to beg.

"Please daddy-" Being so frustrated by the slow, shallow movements of the fingers that refused to budge and stimulate her clit, Y/N called out for the person in front.

"Babygirl, you're asking the wrong person. I told you that for now you're Seonghwa's little plaything. So if you think I'm going to intervene, you're absolutely wrong." One corner of Hongjoong's lips curled up when they heard her pleading whines, yet he still did nothing.

"Why don't you ask him yourself what you want? No.... beg him. I know for a fact he likes girls who beg."

When she looked up at him with a pout, Seonghwa let out an amused chortle.

"What is it you want darling? Hmm? Tell me." He encouraged her as his fingertips faintly brushed against her clit, causing her legs to tremble and her hole to secrete more juices out her body.

"That... please...touch me there." She groaned as she tried to take hold of Seonghwa's hand and place it right on top of her heat, but he kept it firmly away, lightly laughing at the state she was in.

"Where darling? You're going to have to be specific."

He was making her feel more and more frustrated to the point of losing all timidity and decorum.

"Park Seonghwa fucking pound my pussy with your fingers!"

Hongjoong widened his eyes in amazement at her use of his colleague's name, but he wasn't mad. On the contrary, he wanted to see how her tiny show of disrespect for the older male, who was also her professor, would play out. Seonghwa stayed still momentarily, making Y/N believe that she might have gone too far. Just as she was about to apologize, a half strangled yelp was pulled out of her body when two fingers dove inside her drenched hole with no warning, aggressively starting a pace of deep strokes, burying themselves as far as they could reach. While his 2 longest fingers were busy working her open, his thumb decided to occupy itself by rubbing against her clit, its rhythm matching that of the other members.

"This what you wanted?" Seonghwa asked, lips attaching themselves onto her neck once more.

"Oh God yes! Yes! Fuck! You're gonna make me cum..you're going to.."

Y/N panted loudly, hips practically humping themselves against Seonghwa's hand, trying to reach that peak that was just within her reach. Just as she felt herself about to spill over, Seonghwa stopped all movements inside her pussy and against her clit, hindering her desire to cum.

"No! Please!" She cried out, eyes scrunching with tears as her head dropped back on the head rest of the car. When her own hand tried to reach down to her groin, Seonghwa was quick to catch it, nearly crushing it in his own.

"No darling, we're having none of that. I told you I was going to get you wet without letting you cum. We could have taken this the easy way but you chose to disrespect me and therefore I had to punish you. Now..."

Releasing her hand, he dropped his fingers and stuffed them back inside her pussy, her walls pulsing against them, screaming to be allowed to release into his palms.

"Let's try this again."

Y/N's eyes fluttered closed as she felt the delicious sensation of Seonghwa slipping his fingers in and out of her, this time setting a more slow and sensual pace. Being edged by him for what seemed like hours and having been dangerously close to her high just minutes ago, it didn't take long for Y/N to start producing those endearing moans of hers again, her high building up once again rather fast. She melted into his touch, hips once again grinding up as if they had a mind of their own. Just as her walls clenched up once again, Hongjoong made his presence known.

"We're here."

Letting out a disappointed sigh at being denied her orgasm again, Y/N began to quickly fasten the buttons of her top while Seonghwa helped out by adjusting her skirt and pulling it down to cover up her lower half. Helping her out of the car, Hongjoong gestured for them to follow him as he led them through the reception desk and towards the elevators. As if it was fate, the elevator they got in was completed alone, leaving the three of them inside as it climbed up towards the respective floor they were assigned to. Looking over and seeing was currently distracted by watching the numbers on the screen change, Seonghwa took the opportunity to continue his fun, fingers snaking under her skirt to cup her ass. Being startled by the sudden touch, Y/N let out a soft whimper that was heard by Hongjoong. Looking over, his eyes immediately spotted what was the cause of her reaction.

"Seriously, couldn't even wait til we were behind closed doors?" Hongjoong let out a disappointed click of his tongue.

"Hey, you did say I was free to play with her as I liked. Besides, wanna make sure she stays as wet as possible cause as soon as the door is locked, I'm stuffing her full of cock."

Y/N's thighs squeezed themselves together after hearing him say that, the action not going unnoticed by both men at her sides.

"Just wait a little longer doll and I'll make sure you cum like you want to."

It seemed like forever until the doors finally opened to let them onto their floor. Knowing just how antsy the other two were about fucking each other, Hongjoong went up ahead of them and quickly slid the key in. Opening the door, he let them both inside first, a suspicious smile still on his face that confused his friend.

"You're enjoying this a little too much aren't you?" Seonghwa quirked an eyebrow up at him, his hands making a quick work of his shirt.

"Oh trust me when I say I'll enjoy it even more by the end of it." Hongjoong answered as he took a seat on one of the beds.

"I don't want you complaining later though if your little slut prefers my cock over yours." Seonghwa's little taunt had absolutely no effect on Hongjoong, he knew very well where his sweet heart's love resided with.

Turning around, Seonghwa was surprised yet also not surprised to see Y/N already naked on the bed, her legs spread out and inviting him to take advantage of her. Her facial expression seemed restless, eyes begging him to come over and end her torture already. Coming over to the front and seeing her more clearly, Seonghwa felt his cock twitch when he saw her full nude body, the light in the room letting him fully see all the details he couldn't quite clearly make out back in the car.

"Oh lord, she is absolute stunning Joong." Seonghwa complimented as he finished undressing himself, his cock already leaking at the tip.

"I did tell you once that younger babes were extremely hot and better. Well now you get to fuck my babe." Hongjoong's face proudly donned a satisfied expression at someone else appreciating his girlfriend.

Looking over at the dresser that had complementary goodies left for them, Seonghwa went and grabbed the pack of condoms since he hadn't planned on getting lucky that night.

"Ummm actually Seonghwa, I want you to fuck her raw, and be sure to spill your cum inside her."

His friend wasn't the only one who looked at him as if he was insane, Y/N was shocked by his request.

"N-no Daddy......" Her voice called out.

"Hmm? Why not princess?" Hongjoong smoked at her.

"My birth control ran out 2 weeks ago. If he cums inside me, I could....." She didn't even dare finish that sentence, but she knew they understand what she meant. Hongjoong however continued to look unfazed, in fact, his smile grew wider, almost to the point of being mischievous, which slightly worried her.

"Even better if I ask me princess, you see..... I want you to be bred." His confession both scared and aroused both of the other two participants.

"You've really lost your mind."

Giggling at his friend's words, Hongjoong looked at him with an assuring gaze.

"No I haven't. But trust me Seonghwa, I won't say anything, no one will know. Just do me this favor and fill my baby's pussy up with your cum."

When Seonghwa still hesitated, Hongjoong decided to persuade him even further.

"Look at her and tell me you don't want to stuff her young cunt full of your cum. And if you do knock her up, think of how cute she'll look with a swollen belly, carrying your child."

Unable to resist looking over after Hongjoong painted that image in his head, Seonghwa's gaze dropped towards Y/N's stomach. He unconsciously bit his lip as he thought about how fertile she probably was, and the thought of impregnating her with a baby of his own was driving him wild. Tearing down anymore hesitations he had, Seonghwa went back over to where she was. Y/N gasped when he pulled her towards the edge of the bed, hands keeping her legs open as he rubbed the tip of his cock against her folds.

"You ready to get knocked up with one of my babies?" He chaffed at her, smirking when a loud moan was drawled out by her as she pressed herself against his shaft even more.

"Cause I know I can't wait."

Letting out a piercing grunt when the cock of her professor penetrated deep inside her, Y/N's hands clutched at the sheets underneath her, whimpers already being poured out as Seonghwa's hips snapped roughly against hers. She shut her eyes as she sunk deeper and deeper into a blissful, euphoric haze, feeling nothing but how deep the cock inside her was being driven in, the head brushing against her cervix. That thought alone had her inner flesh pulsing and squeezing against the girthy shady tearing her apart, making her dizzy and blind with nothing but lust. She couldn't even register or hear all the sounds coming out of her own mouth.

"Such a nice and tight pussy. Keep clenching around me like that and it won't take long for me to fill you up with my seed." Seonghwa hissed, a hand dropping to rest on top of her stomach.

Y/N's back arched upwards, mouth fully agape as the most earth shattering wails were produced even heard by the rooms next to theirs.

"You enjoying this darling? Don't worry. You're certainly not the only one."

Clasping his fingers around her jaw, Seonghwa tilted Y/N's face so she could look over at the bed next to where they were. She spasmed violently when she took in the image of Hongjoong, sitting there shirtless, pants and briefs pulled down enough so he'd be able to pump his cock in his hand. When he had undressed, she didn't know, but she couldn't take her eyes off him, watching as he jerked himself off to the scene of his friend fucking her into the bed, the pace of his hand matching the pace set by Seonghwa's thrusts.

"Oh trust me she's enjoying this just fine. She's absolutely loving being treated as nothing more than a fuck toy, being lent to another man as her owner gets off on the sight of her being bred." Hongjoong's words were not helping as she started to tense up, feeling ready to explode and cum all over the thick cock inside of her.

"Please, please Mr. Park..." She muttered out, face turning towards him once again.

"Please what toy? Speak up." He commanded her as he started grinding his hips harder into her, the movements of his pelvis rubbing against her engorged clit and heightening her pleasure.

"Please let me cum. Wanna cum." She begged him, whine after whine being forced out of her each time Seonghwa pushed back into her body.

Feeling merciful, especially after edging her so much in the car, and more so because he felt himself about to shoot his load in her as well, Seonghwa moved his hand that was on her stomach so it could come down and rub aggressively at her clit.

"Go on baby. Cum for me so I can breed you like the little bitch you are."

Y/N toppled over the edge after hearing those dirty words, strangled cries and unintelligible words slipping out of her throat. She couldn't stop shaking underneath the older man that was fucking her, body out of control as it twisted and writhed from the sensuous oblivion she fell into. Desperate gasps scrambled for air as liquid gushed out of her to coat the dick that was still being driven in her.

"Oh fuck fuck! I'm going to cum inside your little hole now."

She barely registered the grunts being said by the person in front of her, her body only feeling and paying attention to the hot fluids being impelled to her womb. Knowing she was full of cum and it was extremely probable she'd be pregnant thrilled and excited her, while simultaneously making her anxious and nervous.

After finally catching his breath, Seonghwa pulled out of her, the cum that was leaking out of her threatening to make him hard again and fuck her once more just to see it all over again.

"Don't get any ideas." The warning voice of his friend brought him back to the reality that the young woman on the bed was only borrowed for the moment, and mostly due to the sick amusement of said friend.

Dressing himself up in his clothes, Seonghwa went over where Hongjoong was.

"Satisfied?"

Hongjoong snorted as he looked down at the tiny splatter of cum that had dripped into the carpet.

"Very much so."

Rolling his eyes, Seonghwa finished putting on the last of his clothes before picking up his phone. Seeing the time, he apologized and told Hongjoong he needed to get home right away.

"I'll take a cab. I'm sure you probably want some more time with her."

Hongjoong blushed a little at his friend's insinuation. Before Seonghwa could walk out the door, Hongjoong called out to him.

"Hey....say hi to your wife and kids for me."

Seonghwa couldn't help the laugh that bursted out his lips.

"I will. See you soon."

Closing the door, Hongjoong was finally left alone with his girl, who was currently sitting up, staring at him intently. Getting up from his seat, he came over to where she was and helped her stand up. Smoothing out some of her disheveled hair, he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her lips, his free hand tilting her face up as he pressed his body closer to hers. Pulling away to soon for her liking, Y/N pouted at him as she wrapped her hands around his waist.

"Come on. We gotta get you cleaned up."

Taking her hand, he guided her inside the bathroom, where he sat her against the vanity counter. Noticing that she was still looking at him funny, Hongjoong tilted his head to the side and cupped her cheeks.

"What's wrong babygirl?" He mimicked her tiny pout, a feat he often did that tended to annoy her, making her feel as if she was a little child.

"Funny how you care so much about getting me pregnant, yet you get someone else to do the job for you."

Huffing loudly, she brushed past him to be able to get inside the shower, but she was quickly pulled back by one of his hands that slammed her back against the counter. Looking up, she was expecting to see an angry expression, but instead Hongjoong had a smirk that told her he was up to no good.

"Is that what's bothering you princess? The fact it wasn't me the one breeding you? Oh baby.."

Turning her around abruptly, Y/N gasped when he pried her legs open and pressed her chest against the cold marble counter. When she felt his dick come to live and poke at her ass, she immediately pressed her lower half out towards him, the action making Hongjoong get a smug expression.

"You really are the best girl kitten, offering yourself to me like the little slut you are."

Y/N felt her body getting hot once again when on of Hongjoong's hands caressed in between her thighs, running up dangerously close to her heat until he reached her entrance.

"Ok then kitten. Let's fill you up with my cum now, since you want it so much."

Being stuffed with a cock once more, Y/N clung onto the counter underneath her as Hongjoong was showing no mercy as he rammed into her from behind. He always did enjoy brutally fucking her until she was left sore and limping, something no one would have ever guessed given his stature being more on the shorter side. But he definitely made up for it with his experience in making a woman numb to everything except the feeling of his dick being pounded into their pussies, precisely the feeling Y/N was going through at the moment. Her head rested itself against the counter, unable to bear the overwhelming pleasure the man behind her was putting her through.

"Oh no no kitten. I'm having none of that."

Wrapping his hand around her hair and twisting it to a makeshift ponytail, Hongjoong forced her to look up into the mirror in front of her. The ravenous and almost beast like way his eyes stared at her made her weak, pussy contracting around his length as her legs started to wobble.

"Look at you, I want you to watch as I fuck you full of my cum. Look at how I'm going to knock you up with my kids."

Strangled panting was the only audible sounds Y/N could make out, through the mirror she could see that Hongjoong was falling into the same haze she was in. Releasing her hair, he wrapped his hand around so it could rest on the top of her belly button, gently caressing the soft skin there.

"You're such a good girl for letting me do this. You know I'll take care of you right?" His loving reassurance, followed by the light presses his lips made on the nape of her neck were making her go insane. Her mind was running wild with thoughts of Hongjoong getting her pregnant, such a risky and dangerous situation but she was ready for it.

"Hongjoong fill me up! Fuck a baby into me! I want it, I want your cum!"

Her desperate pleas had an immediate effect as Hongjoong pistoned his cock deeper in her, a few last powerful jolt of hips and he was filling her to the brim, her tight pussy making sure to milk him out of every last drop of cum he had in him. Feeling him spill inside her and seeing him throw his head back in pleasure through the mirror, Y/N followed not long afterwards, shockwaves rippling through her body in another intense orgasm. It was a miracle Hongjoong still had his hands around her hips to keep her from falling down to the ground due to the violent shake of her legs. Even after they had both calmed down, Hongjoong still stayed nestled inside of her, nose brushing against the back of her head, inhaling her scent passionately. He let out a tired hum as he buried his face into her neck.

"I love you so much." He admitted, which made Y/N smile.

"I love you too." She responded, turning her head to press a kiss on his temple.

"And I can't wait to carry your baby."

[chocolateheart]

Door number 12

Title: Door Number 12

Word count: 7937 (I know, I'm sorry)

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary: A noisy neighbour is bringing you a lot of emotions. What if this bubbling tension and frustration will finally find their way out?

Warnings: 18+, smut, unprotected sex (please, wrap it before you tap it), creampie, fingering, handjob, pinning to the wall, clothes tearing, biting, scratching, a lot of kissing, strong eye contact, sex noises, tension, some swearing, noisy neighbour, arguing, stealing food, property damage, I don't know, porn?

Bingo Square Filled: Neighbour AU for @spnmixedbingo

A/N: Yes, another porn. Please, don't judge me, I couldn't help it. I won't say much, that fic just sorta happened. I hope you'll like it! Enjoy babes!

A/N: As always huge huge huge THANK YOU to my dear beta, angel and Queen @winchest09 for giving this piece a look. Love you Tabbs <3 Still, mistakes are mine!

A/N: The gorgeous divider designed by incredibly talented @talesmaniac89 <3

Throwing your bag on the counter along with your keys, a deep sigh left your chest. You numbly looked around your apartment as you began to take off your jewellery. Why did this place always look like a pigsty every time you got back home? Your necklace and bracelet joined your bag when you tossed them to one side as a yawn escaped you.

This day was exhausting, to say the least. Maybe your work wasn’t that demanding but sometimes it was just tiring to the point where you wanted to cry. After shrugging your jean jacket off, your feet took you to the couch and you just collapsed down on it with a pained grunt. Your body was stiff and aching, your head was pounding from pain and as soon as you felt a pillow under it, your will to stay awake had started to fade. You knew you shouldn’t take a nap now as there was still so much left to do today, but for god's sake, it was Friday evening and you had been working for the past 5 days at top speed. An hour of rest was something you definitely deserved.

Without standing up, you lifted your hips to take off your jeans and wrapped yourself in the blanket you always kept on the couch. Relaxing your body with a deep breath, you closed your eyes, already halfway to dreamland. But as soon as you felt yourself drifting completely, a loud sound of guitar suddenly sounded in your ears, making your eyes snap open.

No, not again!

Fisting the pillow, you felt the anger growing as you knew exactly where the loud rock music was coming from; recognising the band as AC/DC. When the volume increased, you hid your head underneath the pillow, desperate to cut off your aching skull from the noise. But it didn’t work, the sound still bleeding through the cushion. It didn’t take you a minute to shoot up on straight legs and pull on your sweats while marching towards the front door.

Mumbling inappropriate words, you entered the staircase for your building and immediately went down; hearing the power of the music increasing with every step you took. You found yourself on a floor below, with your jaw and hands clenched, eyes glued to door number 12 as you approached it. Once you stood in front of it, you lifted one of your fists and hit the hard on the wood a few times, ready to murder the person on the other side. Of course he made you wait till the song ended, causing you to repeat the punching a couple of times.

When the door finally opened, you were fuming with anger, eyes shooting lightnings towards the tall man on the opposite side of the doorstep.

"I swear to god, Winchester," you hissed through gritted teeth, a loud melody almost muffling your words. "If you won't turn that down, I will physically harm you." Your threatening pulled a laugh from him which only acted as another oil drop to the fire.

"Sweetheart you can't do anything to me," he said, leaning on the doorframe with his arms crossed on this broad chest. "Besides, I don't understand what your problem is." Dean shrugged as if nothing had happened, making your brows shoot up.

"You don't understand?! This music is driving me crazy!" You took a deep breath and while not breaking the strong eye contact you had with him, you started to enlighten him on what exactly was wrong. "I’ve had a terrible day, no, week actually. Everything hurts, my head is pounding and this music is shaking my walls which in turn, is not letting me sleep. So if you could be so nice and turn that off because I swear on what's holy, if I lose my goddamn mind, your name will be the first one I'm gonna mention once they ask me how I ended up in mental hospital." Words just slipped out of you in one unbreakable line and you took shuddering breath after, composing yourself.

However, the smug smirk didn’t leave your neighbour's face; he didn’t give a damn about your monologue. After you finished, he only put a hand on your shoulder and delivered his response.

"It's a Friday evening and we live in a free country. There’s no rule saying I can't listen to loud music, unless it's lights out. What's more, you're the only one who can't stand this, I don't see anyone else coming here to complain, so maybe the problem lies in you, not in me," he simply said, as he flashed you a fake, sarcastic smile and closed the door. But not before saying, "have a nice evening."

You looked up to the ceiling, asking for patience but the frustration and anger were huge. You growled, kicked Winchester's door with your socked foot and cursed, feeling pain going from your toes to the tibial bone.

On your way back to your apartment, you were mumbling out every possible, offensive name that came to your mind when you thought about that green eyed man. Your relationship had been heated ever since he moved into the building. He made your blood boil. Loud music, meetings with his friends, watching movies on full volume on his surround speakers after dark in the middle of the week, noisily cooking at midnight; even his one night stands apparently had an unfulfilled opera career.

You were having a battle with Dean, on average, twice a week. Knowing you weren’t the only one who couldn’t stand his behavior, you asked others for help, but Dean’s charm was way bigger of an opponent than you had expected. He could just use a sweet smile, say a few, flirty words with this deep voice and Ann from the end of the hall would walk on wobbly legs with stupid smile on her face for the next four days.

You couldn’t really blame her, the man was ridiculously attractive but you were looking past it. Dean was an annoying asshole and the only reason you had not yet clawed out his eyes was the fact that visiting the jail wasn’t exactly a wooing thought.

Shutting your door behind you, you leaned against it and ‘Sweet Child O’ mine’ came on. You growled once again, hit your wooden barricade with your head and looked down, trying to find calmness in your floor. Once you stopped radiating fury, knowing that the person below won't let you rest for at least two more hours, you chose the second drawer in your kitchen, searching for painkillers. If you were being made to stay up, you were gonna be productive. Swallowing two aspirin, you decided to clean the place so you could focus on college work tomorrow.

If only you could actually focus on college work.

After waking up at 8 am the next day, you opened the window on your way to the kitchen, craving coffee. It wasn’t normal for you to get up at this hour on the weekend but your finals were coming and you had way more work than you expected.

Thankfully, the weather outside was pleasant; the sun was already shining, creating morning shadows and the soft wind streamed inside your apartment, tickling your ankles as you sat at the table, eating breakfast. The smell of spring made you smile, always bringing back good memories. After the meal, you didn’t bother to change your pajamas for the actual clothes and you just took the laptop to start working on your college sheets. You were sitting with one of your legs bent, heel leaning on the chair, messy bun on your head, sipping on the second coffee while listening to the birds singing happily outside. Words were flooding out of you, making you feel certain that it wouldn’t take you long to be done with your essays. But that blissful moment was cut short when a loud rumble of a car’s engine resonated under your building, causing you to jerk in your chair and almost spill your drink.

Recognizing it straight away, you looked up, trying your best to not get angry again but as the sound of his loud engine revving l continued, you smacked the table with your palm and stood up. As you leaned on your window sill and gazed out, you spotted black, slick Chevrolet with the driver's door, trunk and hood open. Tools were scattered around the vehicle, a jean clothed leg was sticking out from the inside and you greeted your teeth, knowing who that was.

“Hey!” you yelled out, not caring if probably half of the residents could hear you. “I’m trying to study here!”

Dean peeked out and up at you, smiled and got out of the car, leaning his elbow on the hood in a nonchalant way.

“Good morning to you too,” he said and flashed you the oh-so-charming smile.

“It would be good if you didn’t interrupt it with your loud junker,” you spat back, leaning on the window frame and smiled when his face fell; he hated it when someone insulted his Baby, and you were very much aware of that. “Now, could you please lower your generic volume because I have a lot to do and you’re the last thing I want to deal with today.”

“Nobody tells you to. I’m minding my business, you go mind yours, I ain’t stopping you.” He gestured towards you with his grease covered hand.

“No, but your car is making noise that shakes all the dishes in my cabinet.”

He just shrugged and you narrowed your eyes, seeing that he didn’t care about whatever your problem was. “Then I suggest closing the window.”

After saying that, he dived inside the vehicle and seconds later you heard the strong twang of a guitar. Again. This man was very successful in making you hate rock music. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, stopping yourself from throwing a flowerpot at him; only because it was a very nice pot and you were emotionally attached to it.

“I need fresh air! I’m not gonna close the window! Turn that off!” you screamed, but he only frowned and pointed to his ear.

“Sorry sweetheart, can’t hear you!” You could see the smile dancing on his lips and you really wanted to break something on his head. “The music is too loud!”

Clenching your jaw you gave up. Another defeat, but it wasn’t the war you lost; it was just a battle and he was yet to feel your comeback. Showing him your middle finger, you closed the window and went to the bathroom, not being able to hear the soft chuckle that left him.

Maybe to an outsider, Dean’s behavior wasn’t such a big deal, but the longer he acted like that, the more annoying and tiring it was becoming. You couldn’t focus on basic activities because he was giving you a headache in various ways and for some reason, you couldn’t just talk it through with him. Every attempt at trying to get to an understanding with him, ended up with a fight.

Winchester was just a pain in the ass.

Thankfully, he vanished before noon; his car was gone and there was a blissful silence that you made the most of, and finished the majority of what you had to do.

Surrounded by papers and books, you were sitting down on your fluffy carpet, leaning back on your couch, typing away on your laptop. Glancing at your clock again, you frowned. It’s been almost 85 minutes since you ordered pizza; your stomach was rumbling, unhappy with the fact of still being empty. Finding your phone, you dialed the pizza parlor’s number once again. Standing up, you stretched your muscles and looked outside, watching the sunset sky as you waited for someone to pick up. Finally, the lady’s voice spoke to you down the line, asking you how she could help.

“Hi, I made an order from you and I still haven’t received it? It’s been over an hour,” you explained politely, scratching the back of your head.

You didn’t like situations like that; delay was understandable, but it had been way too long. However, you hated to call someone out, you never wanted to make someone’s job harder than it already was. Giving your address to the lady so she could check where your food was, you spotted the black vehicle under the building and your brows shot up. He was home and it was still quiet; it wasn’t normal.

“Miss, the system says your order was delivered and we have a confirmation of receipt.” You frowned hearing her words as what she said was impossible.

“Are you sure? There was no delivery here.”

“Yes, I’m positive. It says someone picked up the order twenty minutes ago.” Pinching your nose, you took a deep breath.

“Could you check the address precisely, please? Maybe your driver made a mistake?” you suggested being already sure someone else got your food.

“Rosenhouse Street, building 4, apartment 12,” she read and the last number made you flinch.

“Apartment 20,” you corrected her, but she denied.

“No Miss, the order was picked up by apartment 12.” And just like that the level of your anger reached three digits in a second.

“Okay, thank you so much,” you murmured and disconnected the call without a goodbye, already storming halfway across your place, getting ready to leave.

Slamming the door, you took a very well known path downstairs and you banged on number 12 as soon as you stood in front of it. Feeling the urge to punch the person who was supposed to open, you inhaled deeply, clenching your teeth. Just... keep it cool, Y/N.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” you growled the second Dean came into your view in his domestic clothes, wearing sweatpants and a hoodie.

“Whoa, what?” he tilted his head with an uncomprehending look.

“Listen,” you pointed a finger at him. “Loud noises, annoying car, your mean behavior, fine, okay. Screw it. But stealing food? That is childish. Can you go any lower?!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, sweetheart,” he said with a smile dancing on his lips. “What food?”

“My pizza,” you muttered through your teeth.

“Oh, right!” He smacked his forehead, acting like he just now understood. “Yeah, pizza was great.”

“You stole it!” you exclaimed, a little too high pitched.

“No I didn’t,” Dean stated, giving you a small, I-know-better smile.

“Yes, you did. I ordered it and you just pocketed it!” You really wanted to stamp your foot like a little girl to tick your fury.

"No sweetheart, I didn’t," he said, crossing his arms and straightening his back so he could tower over you, making you look up. "The guy came in with pizza, said he's supposed to bring it here, so I paid for it and ate it."

"Oh! Because it's normal to pay for the food you didn’t order and keep it to yourself. And stop calling me sweetheart!" You puffed out irritated, making him smirk.

"You're cute when you're angry." Your face fell and you felt your palm itching. What would he do if you slapped him?

"Dean," you warned him but he chuckled.

"No, seriously." He reached to your forehead, wanting to brush it with his finger. "You have this cute, little wrinkle in the middle-"

"Don't touch me." You smacked his hand away and pointed a warning finger straight into his face. "One more action like this and you're gonna regret it," you growled out and walked away.

"So it's threatening now, huh?!" he called after you, coming out to stand in the hall.

Before you stepped on the stairs, you turned around with such a force, that your hair flipped over one of your shoulders and you showed him your middle finger. Hearing his low laugh bouncing on the wall, you scoffed annoyed as you stomped loudly going back upstairs. You swore that if you were supposed to become a murderer one day, that this man was gonna be victim number one. This whole 'lets annoy her' process would be great fuel for you to slice that slender throat of his.

Shutting the door again, you walked into the kitchen, dived in the fridge and decided to stuff yourself with pancakes. Screw Dean and his pizza, you were not going to give him satisfaction with ordering anything else tonight.

“So, he’s a confident man,” Jo stated after you told her about Winchester’s behavior.

You came to Harvelle's to grab something for Sunday dinner; they had the most delicious menu in the whole town and no one could change your mind. You were sitting with a blonde girl at the table, outside their restaurant, sipping on some light drinks Ellen had prepared for the two of you. Ash was already working on your meal in the kitchen while Jo was taking her break so she could sit with you and listen about your neighbour under the floor. It took you way longer to describe everything and you felt kind of bad for that. You weren’t the type who whined about such things and forced friends to hear about your bullshit, but now you were desperate to get it all off your chest.

“Confident asshole,” you corrected her, “I just wish he could finally get his ass kicked, you know? I can’t live with this man! He’s an arrogant, offensive, little, annoying dickhead!” you said, crossing your arms on your chest.

After a few seconds of silence, you looked up at Jo. She was watching you, clearly trying not to smile; her lips were twitching and small dimples had already appeared. You knew her long enough to know that she was all ready to tease you about this whole situation.

“What?” you barked at her and she lifted her hands in defense.

“Nothing!” She shrugged. “Just, your relationship with him seems to have been… rough since the very beginning.”

“It is! I really wanna punch him!” Jo lifted her brows, a smile breaking on her face.

“Just punch him?” The suggestion was shining in her eyes and your shoulders fell down at the subtext.

“Jo!” she started giggling when she heard your resigned tone. “Just because I’m having a heated exchange with a hot guy doesn’t mean that I wanna fuck him!”

“Oh, so you think he’s hot?” she asked innocently, taking a sip from her glass.

“Yes, but he’s an idiot and I would never let him in my panties, come on,” you scoffed as you rolled your eyes. The last thing you would ever do was having sex with this man.

“Sure.”

And you knew Jo didn’t believe you. To be honest, if you thought about it really, really hard, you weren’t sure if you believed yourself…

The door opened and Ash came out with a smile, your food packed in a thermal box.

“There you go, girl. We do not accept any complaints,” he said, winking at you and you chuckled, taking the meal from him.

“Thanks, Ash.” He saluted you and vanished as quickly as he appeared. You glanced at your phone laying on the table and sighed seeing the time. “Okay babe, I’m gonna go. School’s calling and I bothered you enough anyway.”

“Oh stop it, you’re not bothering me, don’t be stupid,” she said smiling, and hugged you tight. “Text me when you get home.”

“Sure thing.” You winked and walked backwards, watching her disappear inside the RoadHouse.

Smiling to yourself, you turned around and crossed the street. At first your thoughts were filled with Jo who could always put you in a good mood but then they gradually transitioned into someone else.

You didn’t know if it was your overworked system or what Jo had teased you about that caused Dean to stick inside your mind, but you wanted to scream; it was like he had nested in there. Not only was he disturbing your living space, but he was now invading your mental space as well. What’s more, it wasn’t exactly hard to not think about him in a nasty way, and you hated it. The truth was that he was attractive from his fluffy hair to his toes, and more than once you had caught yourself daydreaming about his hands and mouth on you.

You couldn’t help it. The way he looked was not fair and Jo made you realise that if not for his attitude, you would have slept with him a long time ago. Thankfully, in the moments you felt weakness for him, he was doing something that pissed you off to the point where you wanted to bite his head off.

You really wanted to get even with him, you had to bounce the ball. The need to bite back was so big that you stopped dead in your tracks when you saw the paint store. The bulb in your head flickered on and a devil smile angled your lips. Maybe it was a bad idea, maybe it was childish, maybe it was crossing the line, but you had suffered enough thanks to this jerk.

Buying one can of pink chalk paint, you were muting your common sense that was currently shouting at you. As the saying goes - you only live once. He wanted a fight? You were going to fight. He started to play a strong hand? You were going to do the same. He thought playing with you like that was fun? Well, you were gonna have some fun too. Besides, he wouldn’t realise immediately that the paint would easily wash off, but seeing him panic thinking that his car had been defaced was revenge enough.

With a few last strokes of a paintbrush, you were finished. Straightening your back, you looked down at your work and smiled, satisfied with pink flowers you had drawn on the black surface. They were a nice contrast and you really liked the shape. In all honesty, it kinda burned you to paint this four wheeled beauty, but it wasn’t your fault her owner was a douchebag who deserved a lesson.

The impala was parked in her usual spot, next to the building that was mostly asleep. There were no cameras and due to the late hour, the chance of someone spotting you was small. Besides, you were just a hooded figure, no one would recognise you anyway even with the dim light from a lonely lantern. It was risky, but you were too far gone in your revenge to care. It had been done and you wished you could see Dean’s face in the morning.

Gathering your things you looked around, checking to see if there was anyone you should avoid and you got back to your apartment. After closing the door, you took off your clothes, staying only in leggings and a t-shirt, and decided to make some tea. You had this weird energy bubbling inside of you and it would be a waste to not use it on college papers. Getting comfortable on your couch you started going through materials for one of your projects.

Not expecting any visitors, you jumped slightly while hearing a rapid knocking on your door an hour later. You frowned and stood up, finishing your tea on your way to the entry. What you saw on the other side almost made you smile like an idiot. Dean was boring into you with his eyes; if looks could kill, you would surely be a beautiful corpse by now. His chest was rising and falling heavily, jaw clenched to the point his cheek was twitching and you could see the slight blush coloring on his face. He was wearing his leather jacket but was also in sweats so you assumed he was about to make a quick grocery run or something.

“What the hell?!” he growled at you before you could say a word. Ohhh, he was angry.

“What?” You shrugged innocently, ignoring the weird chill that ran down your spine after hearing the vibrations of his tone.

Dean took a deep breath, doing his best to not shout out. “I wanted to go get some beer and burgers, but guess what. Someone screwed up my car. And you know what? I think it was you.”

He pointed a finger at you, holding keys in his hand. You laughed and leaned on your doorframe, ready to confront him. Satisfaction already tickled your insides, but there was one thing that you had to admit - he was hot when he was angry.

“You really think that I have nothing better to do than mess up your car?” you asked, amused by his flaring nostrils.

"Don't you fucking dare play with me like that," he said firmly, not wanting to yell. "Do you know it's property damage? You broke a law and I can easily get you in trouble."

He was fuming with anger and you were sure that if it was possible, there would be smoke coming out of his ears. You smiled and stood your ground, finding it adorable how he thought he had anything useful against you.

"You have nothing on me. No proof that I was the one who defaced your car," you started, taking two steps to stand inches away from him. "Call the cops and I'm gonna tell them all about the nuisance, the stealing, manipulation and manifestations of aggression all coming from you.”

You stared straight into his eyes, a smart smile not leaving you even for a second; feeling confident in your words. Maybe he had a point, but you weren’t empty handed. You could get punished for what you did and so could he.

“What is your problem, Y/N?!” he asked, pinching his nose, clearly irritated with you. “You keep whining, making problems out of nothing and now painting my damn car?”

“You’re not letting me live in peace!” you raised your voice. “Your loud music, loud car, loud tv, loud you in general! I can’t sleep, I can’t study, I can’t do anything because you’re always there to disturb me!”

“Then leave!” he suggested, raising his tone as well. You were taken aback; lifting your brows you blinked a few times. Was he joking?

“Leave?! Are you kidding me now?! This is my home and just a friendly reminder, I was in here first so maybe you should back off!”

“But you’re the only one having a problem with me!” he yelled, spreading his arms, highlighting the obviousness of his argument.

“Because you’re a manipulative ass! You use your charm, this fucking smile, your shining eyes, and nice language, and the whole building is yours! Even Ian from the 4th floor and he doesn't even like people!”

“Ian is a cool guy!”

“Good!”

You took a breath and opened your mouth to say something more but no words came out. Again, you were convinced that there was no way to come to an agreement with this guy. Further arguments were pointless. Looking at him you shook your head and brushed your hair to the back. The soft smile and look you gave him next, made him frown a little.

“You know what? Fuck you,” you said simply and went to close the door, but his retort didn’t let you.

“You wish.”

Freezing, you locked your eyes with his and in a split second, something shifted in the air. The atmosphere got thick and the tension you had been building for months, now came into play, kinda taking you both by surprise. Dean felt it too, you could see his expression changing. He was trying to read you, trying to understand what was buzzing between you. A part of you wanted to explain it, to show him that you already knew it was sexual tension saying ‘hi’, but as soon as you realised that, you swallowed and forced your rational mask back on.

Shaking off the urge to take steps towards him, you scoffed and sending him one last look, you shut the door without saying anything. Taking two deep breaths, you leaned your forehead on the wooden barricade and closed your eyes.

There was no way in hell you would give in and break. He had everyone else in his fist, but not you. The only person that didn’t fall under his spell, the only one that didn’t let your craving inside take better of you. Dean was still your enemy and a pain in the ass; it was a matter of honour and dignity to stay away.

However, soft knocking made your eyes snap open. No. Darting your head from the door you looked at it, knowing who was behind it but that didn’t even register when you pulled on the door-handle. Dean was supporting his body on his arms that he had placed on both sides of your door, blocking the way. He was looking at you intensely, his breathing quicker than moments ago.

You could see the exact second he made a decision. You knew he was going to do something he shouldn’t and yet, you let him close the gap between you and crush his mouth to yours, cupping your cheeks at the same time. The force he hit you with made you take steps backwards, encouraging him to come in and turn you around so you could unconsciously close the door. His grip was firm, long fingers digging in your neck as hot lips forced yours apart. But your stubbornness caused you to push him away, breaking the connection.

The look you exchanged was a mix of emotions; hate, passion, frustration, lust, confusion, hesitation. This was something completely new for you; needing him was unfamiliar, strange, but at the same time stronger than anything you had felt before when it came to Dean. There was this quiet voice telling you that it was already too late; you tasted it and you wanted it, obviously. The other voice was louder, trying to make you aware of how messed up it's gonna be after, but somehow you didn’t want to listen. Not this time.

"Fuck it."

Saying that, you approached Dean and gripping him by the back of his neck, you pulled him down for a kiss. It was sloppy and deep, all teeth and tongues. He inhaled through his nose, bending down when your nails clawed at his skin. Grabbing you by the waist, he used a little pressure so you walked backwards. You didn’t expect to be pushed against the wall and a surprised gasp escaped you when your back hit it. Looking up at Dean, you noticed how his hungry eyes flickered over your figure and a cocky smirk formed on his face. You mirrored his expression and lifted your chin, so you could suck in his lower lip, biting on it softly. His response was immediate and fierce; he pressed his body to yours, pinning you to the wall completely, kissing you even deeper than before. The heat flooded you, making your cheeks burn and a sweat break.

You moaned and that seemed to spur him on because his hands started travelling all over your body. Doing the same, you aimed for his jacket, pushing it off his broad shoulders so it could land on the floor. The thought of finally discovering what was under his clothes took over your brain and you started to pull on his t-shirt, hazed and eager. But Dean grabbed your wrist and pinned it next to your head, not letting you undress him. You twisted and tugged, trying to break free, but he slid his fingers between yours and you instinctively clenched your palm.

“Don’t fight,” he breathed out, leaving your lips as he dropped to your neck, letting you take a much needed breath.

Leaning your head back you gave him the access to your throat where he licked and sucked, french-kissing your flesh. Your knees buckled a little when his hot lips closed on your pulse point, sending shivers down your spine as his stubble prickled you. Feeling his second hand sneaking under your shirt, you held your breath and jerked on the skin to skin contact. He wasn’t delicate; his long fingers were squeezing and digging, a firm touch making it all the more intense. Using your free hand you fisted his hair, pulling on it. Dean purred, nibbling on your flesh, making your eyes roll. It was like playing tennis, back and forth; you had an answer to each other's movements.

The hunger inside you was growing fast; you were getting more and more impatient and being caged by Dean only made you feel limited. So, naturally, you rebelled, trying to take control; with Dean it was always a competition. But your attempt only caused him to press his body more, his knee coming between your legs, making it harder for you to move. The thin material of your leggings was a weak protection to his touch and you whined when your sensitive area met his thigh. Fidgeting even more, you made him chuckle.

“Stop fighting,” he whispered into your ear as he pulled your earlobe between his teeth.

Growling, you turned your head and sunk your teeth into his neck, tasting sweet and salty. Dean hissed and backed away, looking down at you with a surprise in his eyes, brows slightly furrowed. You smiled and angled yourself to speak against his lips.

“Don’t act like you don’t like a fight, Winchester.”

The suggestion was clear and he seemed to understand. Your relationship was already a ticking bomb so why not have a little fun?

The challenging look you gave him was a last jolt and his mode switched. Before you could do anything, he kissed you firmly, letting go of you just to grab on the front of your shirt. Pulling with two hands Dean ripped the fabric in half, revealing your torso, making you smile a devil’s smile. He shook his head in disbelief that you were actually going along with it and grinning, he attacked your jaw. Scraping it with his teeth first, then kissing and going down passed your neck, to your collarbone. Bending his knees so he could reach lower and lower, he proceeded to shrug the destroyed clothing off you and focus on your breasts. Placing sloppy kisses on the curves, Dean moved his hands on your back and unclasped your bra. As soon as it was gone, he sucked in one of your nipples, causing you to arch your chest. Pulling his hair, you grabbed the back of his head, letting him know you enjoyed his work.

Every time his lips touched you, they left burning spots and you could feel yourself getting wetter. Not holding back anymore, you started to roll your hips, seeking the friction his leg could give you. Still playing with your boobs, he caught your hips and added the power to your moves, dragging a moan from you. Glancing down, you spotted the bulge in his sweatpants and realised he was still wearing too much clothes.

“Take that fucking shirt off,” you panted out, grabbing on the piece of clothing on his back.

This time he allowed you to do what you needed, lifting his arms to make your task easier and the second his chest was bare, you used your nails to leave red lines, making him grimace from pain before he kissed you. Caressing his newly exposed body, you felt firm muscles of his strong arms flexing. He wasn’t a gym type of guy, he was soft in some places but firm and strong in general, and that turned you on to the point your stomach flipped.

Suddenly, he pushed on your hips until your butt touched the wall behind you and pulled away from you, straightening himself. You looked at each other, panting and flinching in anticipation. Keeping the eye contact, Dean cupped your face, brushing his thumb over your swollen lips and slowly slid his hands down your body. You swallowed hard when he hooked his fingers behind your waistband and pulled your leggings down, crouching in front of you.

With a thumping heart you looked down at him, meeting his dark eyes watching you as he kissed your knee, your thigh, your inner thigh; his hands travelling up your legs, leaving goosebumps. You shivered when his hot breath hit your still clothed core. He placed a kiss on your damp panties, making your pussy clench and stopped. Leaning his forehead on your lower stomach, he tried to remain self-control, breathing strongly to calm himself down... and he failed. This whole situation was too much and he had wanted it for way too long to stop now.

Shooting up, he claimed your lips, driving his fingers inside your briefs at the same time. His digits went through your folds, gathering slick and found your clit, making you gasp into his mouth.

“Yeah? Right here?” he whispered and you sucked the air in through your mouth when he drew a circle, pressing harshly on your little nub.

Feeling him smiling, you clung to his neck, keeping him close when he started to make circles on your button. Moaning laughs escaped you, mixed with short breaths as you felt fire filling your veins, tickling sparks running from your clit to every nook of your system. For a moment you lost yourself in the feeling, but your brain woke up when he nudged you, rubbing his dick on your leg.

Opening your eyes, you locked them with his, tracing your palm down his chest and stomach. Somehow, you managed to turn you both around so he was by the wall. You didn’t care about teasing him through his pants so you pushed your hand inside and grabbed his hard shaft. Dean jerked and choked on his breath; the whole foreplay made him ridiculously sensitive.

You smiled satisfied and began to pump him, making his head fall back on the wall. His exposed neck was shining with sweat, throat moving as he swallowed hard. Your biting kink was begging for you to bite him, but the view was too good to not watch. His breathing quickened along with your strokes, his jaw flexing when he opened his mouth to chug. A thick vein popped out on the side of his neck, a guttural whine coming from him when you rubbed your thumb on his tip. Finally, you gave in and closed your lips on his jaw, light stubble pricking your lips. Dean turned his head and palming yours he brought you in for a kiss but you broke it fast, having enough.

"Come on," you said, taking his hand and leading him to your bedroom.

Not being able to stay away from each other, you stumbled towards the room, kissing and laughing, getting rid of the rest of the clothes on your way. Hitting the bed you let yourself fall on it, pulling Dean behind you. He hovered above you, using his tongue to play with your nipples as you both climbed up to the headboard. Adjusting the pillows beneath you, you felt his body pressing down, arms sneaking under yours as he kissed you deeply. Rolling his hips, he drove his cock between your folds, poking your clit and you automatically lifted your lower body up on your heels, feeling the electricity running through you. Dean bit down on your lip and pulled on it hard with his teeth, smiling when you hissed.

Without thinking much you just reached between your bodies and guided his cock to your entrance, making him freeze. The look he gave you was a mashup of a question and disbelief, and all it took was your evil smirk. You felt him fisting the sheets under you and with one, mild thrust he slid inside of you. Arching your back you inhaled, digging your fingers into his shoulders. He was stretching you; your walls fluttered around him when he bottomed out, making the two of you give silent moans, your voices stuck in your throats from intensity.

Watching you, he began to move, making you both more and more comfortable with the feeling. Gradually, his pace increased and so did the noises. Your breathy moans and growls filled the room, mixing with the sound of skin slapping on skin as Dean's hips waved between your thighs, faster and faster. New layers of sweat covered your bodies as the temperature increased; you felt the omnipresent, pleasurable burning.

Dean kept the rhythm, only stopping for just for a moment to kiss you. Not letting the opportunity pass, you pushed on him and flipped over so you were on top. Looking at you with a smirk, he palmed your asscheeks as you sinked down on him, continuing the activity.

The passion and sensuality made your head spin; Dean’s lustful eyes devouring you alive weren’t helping. You dragged your nails on his flesh again, making him hiss between the sounds. It wasn’t easy to breathe, to think or control yourself; your body started working by itself, speeding up, making you bounce on him while leaning your hands on his chest for support. Dean couldn’t decide where to touch, what part of you he should grab next; his hands were everywhere. Wrapping his fingers around the back of your neck he sat up, changing the angle and gave you this eye-rolling kiss. This asshole knew what he was doing.

A new position allowed you to only roll your hips and you laid back, grabbing Dean’s ankle to make your moves more fluent. He took a handful of your ass, helping you, watching himself sliding in and out of you, growling in pleasure. Tangled together you moved in sync, matching the other’s moves, grinding to empower the sensation. Feeling the coil tightening in your stomach, your head hung back and you exhaled, wailing quietly. A hand flattened on your back and Dean violently pulled you up, pressing your forehead to his. With closed eyes, panting against each other's mouth you chased both of your deliriums. Your pussy fluttered, your nails dug into his neck as you clasped it; the feeling started to overwhelm. The way Dean was moaning and clinging to you made it clear that he felt the same.

Your strength was fading and you found yourself slowing down. Dean’s attempts to continue were in vain as he was becoming weak too, exhaustion and his upcoming release taking over him.

“Y/N,” he warned you and you opened your eyes, looking at him when he reached between you. “I’m gonna-” you kissed him, cutting him off, tugging on his lip with your teeth.

“Stay inside,” you whispered, watching the surprise flash through his features.

The serious, assuring look on your face made his eyes roll back and the noise he made, clamped your stomach. Using your last strands of your power, you sped up, Dean joining you by hitting the right spot inside you. His fingers found your clit again, rubbing on it fast and you moaned loudly, feeling your muscles tightening.

A few more strokes, a few more moves and the crushing wave of pleasure hit you; your inner walls pulsated, squeezing Dean’s cock as you grabbed firmly on his neck, holding on for dear life. His thrusts went more erratic but also were more powerful; he was pounding inside you slow but hard, putting his forehead between your breasts. You were shaking and his breath fanning over your tummy only added more goosebumps.

Then you felt his arms wrapping around you and he hugged you tight. Pulling you close, Dean thrusted for the last time and with a low, throaty groan he stilled; his cock throbbing inside you, allowing you to milk him as you were still coming. The two of you were shivering, entwined in each other, panting and sweaty. Your heart was hammering and you could feel Dean’s galloping as well.

After calming down a bit, he let go of you and fell back on the bed, hitting the pillows with a sigh. Licking your lips, you looked down at him and smiled, seeing his eyes sparkling with joy and bliss. He laughed, caressing your thighs and then pulled you down for a kiss. It was sweet and soft, without tongue, just lips brushing yours; completely different then those earlier.

Oh, so he could be gentle too.

Cupping his face, you pecked his mouth a few times and then rolled off of him, standing up to make a quick run to your bathroom to clean yourself, leaving the door open.

"Hey!" you heard him yelling not even two minutes later, after you splashed your face with cold water. "Is it weird that I wanna cuddle?!"

You smiled on his words, shaking your head. Asshole also appeared to be a softie cuddler. Can this evening be any weirder?

"Yes!" you yelled back, laughing as you put down the cloth you were using to dry yourself.

"Cool!" he announced and then changed his tone, "I don't care."

Chuckling, you turned the light off on your way out and grabbed a random, oversized t-shirt from your drawer to put it on, letting it slip from one of your shoulders. Dean was making himself comfy in your bed, watching you carefully with his arm under his head and a stupid grin on his face.

"What?" you asked as you climbed on the bed, joining him under the covers.

"Nothing," he shrugged and shifted so you could fit in, resting your head on his chest.

Throwing your arm over his middle, you hugged him as his fingers came to trace the skin on your shoulder. A comfortable silence fell over you as you cuddled, enjoying the warmth, but you knew his mind was running, just like yours.

You didn’t like this tendency of yours to overthink, but the current situation was not only unexpected but also confusing. What now? Lovers? Relationship? Friends with benefits? Enemies with benefits? Because, you had to stay honest, if he did something that would piss you off, no matter how good he was in bed, you would still punch his perfect nose.

"I'm sorry." His words surprised you, detaching you from your thoughts. "For being a noisy neighbour."

You could hear the genuine guilt in his voice and that immediately made you feel like a bitch, so you said the first thing that came to your mind.

"I'm sorry for screwing up your car," you mumbled and quickly regretted it.

"Ha! So it was you!" His victory voice made your eyes roll and you poked his side, annoyed by the fact he dragged a confession from you so easily.

"But if it makes you feel any better, the paint is made of chalk so it’ll easily wash off," you said, unable to help the silly smile that spread across your face when you saw the relieved but shocked expression that he wore.

“Well played,” he chuckled, the sound rumbling under your ear which you found oddly comforting. So you snuggled more, melting into the intimacy.

You had to look the truth straight into the eye; maybe he did infuriate you like no other but there was something else. A pull, an urge to blow off the constant steam forming between you. You wanted him and something was telling you that from now on you won't be knocking on door number 12 just to fuss about loud music.

And once Jo finds out, you wouldn’t hear the end of it.

A/N: Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it :) Feel free to leave some feedback. ASKs and DMs are open, don’t be afraid to message me. Every word from you is gold <3

Tag list is open! :)

If something is not working, you weren’t on the tag list even if you wanted to, you can’t send an ask or you didn’t receive the notification about me tagging you in any of my fics, please contact me in DM’s.

Tag list: @deanwanddamons @jay-and-dean @katehuntington @winchest09 @talesmaniac89 @roonyxx @bunkerconfessions @akshi8278 @snffbeebee @lady-pswrld @rvgrsbrns​ @polina-93 @teresa-67 @alwayskeepfightingsweetheart @mrspeacem1nusone @flamencodiva @cutiecowgirl @waywardbaby @flashxspn @lyarr24

[queenshelby]

My Friend’s Father (Part Five)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Age Gap, Mild Sexual References

Words: 1,848

Notes:

I have decided to make this into a series.

Alright, no judgment. This was a dream of mine and I felt like I had to write it down. Everyone in this Fic is over the age of 18 and this Fic is in no way based on Cillian’s real family life. It’s pure filth.

 *************************

YOUR POV

Two weeks had passed since you visited your friend Denise in Dublin and it was time for the annual Galway Arts Festival.

Denise had been working on a photography project for the past year and had been nominated for a student award in Galway as part of which ten of her photographs were being displayed during the Arts Festival.

Whilst, as you had expected, Cillian didn’t contact you, you knew that he would be there to support his daughter. Being an artist himself, he was very proud of her and her work and he supported her projects not only mentally but also financially with the caveat that she would finish her degree at Trinity College.

Unlike him, he didn’t want her to drop out of university even though she hated it and you certainly understood his reasoning.

Contrary to Denise, you had no creative bone in your body. You enjoyed art and theatre, but weren’t an artist or performer yourself. Instead, you were an A Grade Law Student who had become rather bored in Galway and had recently applied for a scholarship to Oxford University.

Reading was your passion and you had always been known as a geek. In school, you were the girl that no one liked, nerdy, not interested in fashion or social media and wearing braces, which, luckily, had been removed three years ago.

You were shy and it was only for Denise that you came out of your shell. She was popular in school, mostly due to her name, but also because she was generally confident and, over the years, she helped you gain confidence especially after you had left high school.

But, today, you knew you would be questioning your gained confidence once again since, first of all, you would be seeing Cillian again and the truth was that you couldn’t stop thinking about him in an intimate way and, secondly, you were featured completely naked on some of Denise’s photographs.

Whilst the photographs were artistic and not sexual in any way and your most intimate part wasn’t visible on them, it bothered you knowing that people you disliked would see you so vulnerable and you couldn’t remember why you had agreed to being photographed like that.

The other woman who Denise chose to photograph was Amalie. She was 23 and had been Denise’s friend for a while as well but, unlike you, she began modelling professionally when she was just 16. You all went to the same private school together and, clearly, her lifestyle had been largely financed by her parents. She always wore expensive clothes and had no interest in pursuing a career other than modelling, which barely sustained her lifestyle considering the few small jobs she got.

***

Just as you served your last cup of coffee to an elderly lady sitting in the corner of the café you were working at, you saw Denise, Amalie and two other friends of Denise walk in.

‘Hey guys, take a seat. I will be right with you. I am just about to finish my shift’ you said as you hung up your apron.

‘Please tell me you will get changed before the Gallery opening tonight?’ Amalie asked somewhat weirdly and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you sat down at the table with her, Denise and the others before ordering some coffees for yourselves.

‘No, I thought I would go like this’ you said sarcastically, looking down at your coffee-stained clothes.

‘I bought a dress for tonight’ you then said, after Amalie didn’t seem to sense your sarcasm.

‘Right’ she then said as she flicked through Instagram and you simply looked at Denise who shrug her shoulders.

‘What are you looking for?’ you asked curiously as her eyes seemed to be glued to her phone.

‘She is looking to find more photos of my dad and Laura Jennings’ Denise said, rolling her eyes.

‘Laura Jennings, as in the actress?’ you asked, causing Amalie to nod.

‘Yes, apparently they have been dating’ Amalie then confirmed, causing you to swallow harshly. You knew that you shouldn’t care but you couldn’t help it. Knowing that Cillian was seeing someone made you feel ill.  

‘And you care about that why?’ you then asked Amalie after an uncomfortable shiver ran down your spine.

‘Apparently, just like you, Amalie thinks my dad is a DILF’ Denise huffed out before telling you how disgusting you all were.

‘Well, he is though…he is super hot’ Amalie then joked before carrying on. ‘And I don’t understand how you don’t know about Laura Jennings and whether this is true or not. You need to find out’ Amalie then said but Denise simply shook her head.

‘My father doesn’t share this sort of stuff with me and I certainly don’t want to know about his sex life, thank you very much. In so far as I am concerned, he doesn’t have sex, ever…yuck! Also, I would appreciate if you could not talk about my dad anymore, please. It grosses me out’ Denise said and you knew that, all of this had become a common occurrence ever since the day the first episode of Peaky Blinders aired on BBC, a show which Denise refuses to watch herself because of the heavy sexual content and a show which you, only a week ago, had begun to binge watch.

Cillian’s POV

When Cillian walked into the basement after you had left, he immediately saw the small folded up note you had left him but, reading it, made him somewhat uncomfortable.

He was torn about what to do with it and certainly knew that he should ignore it. He couldn’t see you again even if he wanted to.

The fact that you were 23 years younger than him and that you were his daughter’s best friend made it all wrong and highly inappropriate and he didn’t know what had gotten into him in the first place when he gave into you.

He had never felt attracted towards you in any sort of way until that last visit which was the first time had seen you since you and your family had moved away.

You changed in many ways and he wasn’t sure what it was that he liked about you. But what he knew was that it was more than just sexual attraction, which was usually something he knew how to supress.

With that in mind, he placed your note into his wallet and decided to ignore it for now. But he couldn’t quite bring himself to throw it out.

***

With his bags packed it was time for him to return to Manchester and resume filming of the final season of Peaky Blinders.

The first week of filming went well and Cillian decided to spend the weekend with his friend, fellow actress Laura Jennings. Cillian and her had developed a friend with benefits sort of relationship. No strings attached and no feelings involved. After his divorce from Denise’s mother, he wasn’t ready for anything else and Laura would certainly not have been the type of woman he would have wanted a relationship with in the first place.

Unlike him, she wasn’t press shy and, whilst they kept their arrangement a secret as best as they could, she was otherwise quite active on social media.

Cillian, on the other hand, only maintained a private Instagram account with the sole purpose of being able to check on his children. Whilst they were adults, he was still worried about them, especially Denise who had recently gotten herself in a lot of trouble after distancing herself from this Jeremy boy.

***

‘Another wine?’ Laura asked as Cillian was relaxing on top of the doonas, wearing nothing but his black Calvin Klein briefs, after they had spent the last hour doing exactly what friends with benefits would do after not having seen each other for over two weeks due to busy filming schedules.

‘Yes please…thanks’ he responded as he reached for his phone after a notification had popped up.

It was his daughter Denise who had posted on Instagram and, since she hadn’t posted for a while, he decided to check it out, hoping that she wasn’t with Jeremy again.

To his surprise, three new pictures of Denise and her friends showed up when he opened the APP and, one of them, there was you.

In the picture, you were wearing accompanied by a man in his late twenties, wearing a suit while you were wearing a dark blue dress and he couldn’t help but wonder who the man by your side was.

You looked simply stunning, with your hair long and open and your shoulders exposed. You were wearing only a little bit of make up and showed your beautiful smile.  

‘There you go Mr Murphy’ Laura then said as she returned to the bedroom with another glass of wine, pulling Cillian’s phone out of his hand and climbing on top of him.

‘Round Two?’ she then asked eagerly as she reached for another condom, but Cillian’s thoughts were elsewhere entirely.

‘Maybe tomorrow, I am tired. It has been a long week, sorry’ he explained, causing Laura to pout with disappointment.

But the second round never eventuated as Cillian left Laura’s house the following morning to drive back to Manchester to resume filming.

On his way back to Manchester, he called his daughter Denise to check on her and while he did, he enquired about your companion on the Instagram posts.

‘Why do you want to know?’ Denise asked somewhat confused but Cillian played it cool.

‘He looks familiar, that’s all. Didn’t he go to your school?’ he then asked, playing dumb.

‘Oh god no, he is 29. His name is Connor and he is an accountant. Y/N wouldn’t date anyone our age. You know she isn’t a normal 21-year-old’ Denise joked, referring to your nerdiness and intellect.

‘Apparently not’ Cillian chuckled before asking another question about the stranger on the picture. ‘So, they are dating?’ he asked.

‘I think they went on two or three dates or something. Why do you care?’ Denise asked.

‘No reason. I was just wondering’ Cillian confirmed before changing the topic.

   Tag List:

@lilymurphy03@deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall@elenavampire21 @hanster1998@mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-your-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang@0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03 @mcntsee@cloudofdisney@missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder @otterly-fey @janelongxox @uchihacumdump @basiclassy @being-worthy @chaotic-bean-of-smolness @margoo0 @chocolatehalo @vhscillian @ysmmsy @littlewierdalien @crazymar15  @stickyknightflowerbailiff @im-constantly-fangirling @goldensunflowe-r  @tellingyouastory  @captivatedbycillianmurphy​  @namelesslosers​  @littlewhiterose​  @ttzamara​  @ttzamara @cilleveryone  ​

@peaky-cillian​

@severewobblerlightdragon​  @ysmmsy​  

[13uswntimagines]

Loose Lips Sink Ships (Soran X Swift!Reader)

Request: The Next Instalment of the Swift!Reader Universe where everyone finds out that the reader is dating Emily and Lindsey. Basically, 5000 words of the reader getting caught in compromising positions, having deep conversations with her sister and teasing some too invasive fans. 

Other Parts of the Swift!Reader Universe

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Taylor considered herself a very perceptive person, especially when it came to you. From the time you were little, she could read you like a book. She knew to look for the tilt of your head when you were curious, or how you scratched the back of your neck when you were nervous.

But this, she had never seen before. Your thumbs twiddled on your thighs, patting out an erratic pattern that didn’t match any of your favorite songs, and your feet were tapping out a completely different beat. You also kept tucking your chin, completely refusing to make eye contact with her. 

It wasn’t just tonight either. It was for the entire week you had been staying with her in her Manhattan apartment. She didn’t know if she could take another three weeks of you sneaking off to the terrace to make phone calls at midnight. 

She sighed, turning away from the stove to lean over the island, taking a long drag from her wine glass and eyeing you carefully. 

“Alright, what’s going on with you?” She asked, raising an eyebrow at you. You blinked up at her with owlish eyes. 

“You’re acting weird,” she added with a shrug, turning to whatever she was making on the stove. 

You took a large gulp of your drink and swallowed hard. You didn’t think you had been that obvious, but then again Taylor knew you better than anyone (well, there were two people who probably knew you as well as she did). Soon enough they would be just as good at getting information out of you as Taylor was. 

“I’m just tired. Pre-season and national team duty are kinda kicking my ass,” You mumbled, rubbing the back of your neck, praying to god that she would take this excuse. 

She nodded, tapping the spatula on the side of the pot before turning back to you and picking up her glass again. “I’m sure the media pressure isn’t helping that,” 

You shrugged.“Everyone just expects me to be you, and it’s a lot sometimes,” You mumbled, absentmindedly circling your fingers over the rim of your glass. 

Taylor’s eyebrows furrowed. She could tell you weren’t telling her everything, but if this was the route you wanted to take, then she wouldn’t miss a chance to reaffirm you. 

“I know, and I’m sorry for that,” She said softly, reaching across the island to gently grab your hand. 

You finally looked up at your sister, echoing her sad smile, and noting the worried crinkle by her eyes. “It’s not really your fault,” 

She nodded. “I know, but all I can do is tell you how amazing you are as many times as I can,” 

You held her gaze for a few more seconds, her seriousness giving you no reason to doubt her sincerity. 

It didn’t matter what the media, or your family, said about your career. Taylor maintained that you were just as good, simply because you were you. She was your greatest champion and most trusted confidant. 

You nodded, and she squeezed your hand before turning back to the stove. She knew pushing you to talk about what was really bothering you wouldn’t help. You would come to her when you were ready. 

You watched her thoughtfully as she put the final touches on dinner, checking on a tray in the oven and stirring the things on the stove. 

You were comforted by the familiarity of it, but the little voice in the back of your head reminded you that you also enjoyed this position when it was a different blond cooking for you (and the way Lindsey teased her while she cooked). 

The three of you had been together for nearly eight months, and recently you had all decided that maybe it was time to stop hiding. The first step was telling Taylor, but you weren’t really sure how. 

Your heart thumped in your chest at the thought of your two favorite women. Your girlfriends, you reminded yourself. They made you feel so many amazing, and terrifying things you had never felt before. Taylor always sang about those emotions, and you wondered if this was what she was talking about. 

“Can I ask you a question?” You asked softly, and Taylor paused her stirring on the stove. That was always the cue you used when you wanted to have a serious conversation. When you were nervous about whatever the answer would be. The last time you had asked that you wanted to know if she would be upset if you skipped college in favor of going pro.

Her opinion mattered to you more than anyone else’s. 

“You know you always can,” She said, avoiding looking over her shoulder (towards where she knew you were worrying your lip between your teeth). 

“How did you know you were in love?”  

Taylor paused, a pan halfway out of the oven, at the completely unexpected question. She should have seen this coming, she had seen the way those two looked at you. 

She cleared her throat, straightening and setting the hot pan on some oven mitts on the counter, before turning her full attention to you. She took in how you seemed so hunched in on yourself, your eyes still glued to your glass. 

“Well, She made me feel warm and bubbly like there was a hot spring in my chest. When anything happened, she was the first person I wanted to tell,” 

You blinked up at her, your eyebrows furrowing. “Like you were addicted to her? Like when she smiled, it finally felt like you could breathe?” You rushed out and Taylor let you, giving you to work through your emotions, before she pulled you into a tight hug.

You had a very bad habit of bottling everything up and pretending that you were fine (something she was sure her career choice - and your mother- didn’t necessarily help). 

“Did you feel scared of how much she made you feel?” You leaned into her touch, sighing when she ran her fingers through your hair. 

“In the beginning it did, but then it was freeing when I realized that she would be there to catch me,” Taylor said, kissing the crown of your head. 

You closed your eyes. You didn’t doubt that they would catch you, but the feeling of falling was terrifying. You were in deep and keeping it from your sister was difficult. 

“Dinner looks amazing and I’m starving,” You mumbled, and you felt Taylor sigh. She had gotten a little out of you, but definitely not enough to curve her curiosity. All in good time. 

“Let’s eat,” she said, kissing your hair and standing to make you two plates. She still had 2 weeks to get the rest of the story out of you.

****

You were in absolute heaven. Trapped in between the two warm bodies of your girlfriends, one set of lips moving with your own and another trailing kisses lightly down your neck.

Emily and Lindsey had spent one of their free days (between Adidas and other sponsor commitments) hanging out with you, and you couldn’t be happier. You spent the day exploring the city and checking off a massive list of stereotypical couple things the city had to offer. It had ended in a very romantic dinner at a little pub on the lower east side, and now some amazing kisses in your room at your sister’s apartment. 

Lindsey’s hands slipped under the front of your shirt, her nail scratching lightly up your tummy and ribs as she pressed herself further into your back. You sighed into Emily’s mouth, tilting your head to both give her a better angle on your mouth and give Lindsey more room in your neck. 

“Hm, we’ve gotta stop. Tay will be back soon,” You mumbled when Emily pulled back and turned you so Lindsey got her turn too. 

You felt Emily sit up behind you to get a good look at the clock. “You said we had till 12, it’s only 11:15,” you could hear the smirk in her voice, even as she kissed your ear and made her way down to the patch of skin on your neck she knew drove you wild. 

You bit your lip. It was one thing to ask your sister for relationship advice, and a complete other for her to walk in on it. 

Lindsey gently brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. “Do you wanna stop?”

Emily paused as they both waited for your answer. It was sweet and comforting how they always made sure you felt safe and that you were enthusiastically consenting to whatever you were doing. 

You shook your head and pouted. “No,” 

Lindsey sent you a very indulgent smile, her thumb gently rubbing over your cheeks. “Then less talking, more kissing,” 

You giggled into the kiss, a shiver running down your spine when Emily continued her ministrations in your neck. 

You hummed into the kiss, very much enjoying how their bodies felt pressed into yours. God, it was like you just couldn’t get enough. It was so easy to lose track of time with them. It wasn’t until a loud slam of the door and your sister calling “Y/n, you here?” That you finally pulled away from the women. 

“Shit! You two have to hide,” You squeaked, practically leaping from the bed. You threw Emily’s pants and Lindsey’s shirt towards the women on the bed, who were moving way too slow for your liking. 

“Where?” Emily asked, tripping as she tried to hastily shove her legs inside her pants, while simultaneously glancing around your room in search of a suitable hiding space. 

“I don’t know! Figure it out,” You said over your shoulder, taking a deep breath to hide your panic before you exited the room. 

You carefully closed the door behind you, she would have zero chance of getting any information out of you). 

“Hey kid, how was your day?” Taylor asked from the couch, looking over her wine glass at you. She opened her arms, and you immediately went to burrow into her.

“The best. I went out exploring,” Your entire face brightened (Taylor wondered if it was because you got to experience the city, or from the person, she was sure you experienced it with - ie the person(s?) who had left the hickey’s all down your neck). 

“Where’d you get that shirt?” She asked after a few minutes, pinching the grey sweatshirt (which conveniently had a number 9 and the USWNT logo on it). 

You blinked down at your outfit, your eyes widening, at your outfit, a pair of Emily’s Thorns shorts and Lindsey’s sweater.

“Oh, Umm,” you stuttered, racing to come up with a response when a bang echoed from your room. 

Taylor’s head snapped in the direction of the sound “What was that?”

“Nothing Tay,” You winced at another loud thump followed by several giggles. 

She raised an eyebrow at you and stood to go investigate for herself. She didn’t mind you bringing a significant other home (especially if they made you this happy) but she didn’t want them hiding from her. 

“Are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to go find them for myself?” 

You crossed your arms like a petulant child and pouted. “I also spent the day with Emily and Lindsey,” 

“And?” Taylor asked, slightly confused. She liked the women and she thought you knew she would approve. Hell, she had practically given them the shovel talk already.

You sighed, hunching your shoulders. “They’re hiding in my closet because we were making out when you came home,” 

Taylor giggled at how absolutely pitiful you sounded. She patted your shoulder “Well, I think the closet is a terrible place to hide. How about you get them out here,” 

You nodded and stood to go retrieve the girls, slightly afraid of what Taylor was going to say to them. 

“And y/n,” she said just as you got to your door. 

You paused and turned towards her “Yeah?” You asked, tilting your head to the side. 

“I’m happy that you’re so happy to be dating them,” 

You smiled so wide that your cheeks started to hurt. It felt like a weight was lifted off your chest. No matter what happened going forward, Taylor supported you (even if you were sure she was about to give them one hell of a shovel talk and set up some serious boundaries). 

You nodded and entered your room. Perhaps it was about time that you all came out of the closet. 

******

You weren’t quite sure how you always got yourself into these situations. Maybe it was that you, Em, and Linds barely got to see each other outside of camp during the season, or maybe it was because the three of you were so sickeningly in love that you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself. 

Whatever it was, you, Emily, and Lindsey couldn’t seem to keep your hands to yourself (especially after you came out to your sister). 

Even now, with the no girlfriends rule at camp, you found yourself pinned to the elevator wall by Lindsey’s hips, thoroughly enjoying the way Emily’s tongue was exploring your mouth (shivering slightly when Lindsey hit the sensitive spots on her neck) (with no idea how they thought this position was comfortable for them). 

You were so engrossed in your kissing that you didn’t hear the ding of the elevator, or the doors beginning to slide open. 

“Holy shit guys, at least let the girl breathe,” Kelley’s cackling caused all three of you to jump, and Lindsey to inadvertently knock heads with you. 

“Fuck,” Emily hissed, working her way out from between Lindsey’s arms and your chest. 

“Ow,” You mumbled, rubbing your forehead l, as Lindsey used a thumb to lift your chin so she could look at it. “You alright babe,” She asked softly. 

Kelley laughed louder at the mess that was the three of you trying to untangle yourselves from each other, ignoring Alex’s glare (teasing someone while their cheeks were as red as yours were wasn’t something she felt comfortable with). 

“Shut up Kelley,” Emily grumbled, pulling you off the wall so she could hug you from behind. You leaned back into the woman, taking whatever comfort you could. The three of you knew it was time to tell the team, but you hadn’t expected it to happen like this. 

“How long has this been going on?” Alex asked softly after a few minutes. There was no way the three of you could be so comfortable around each other if this was a new thing. 

“Almost a year,” You said, shyly looking up at Lindsey, who placed a very sweet kiss on your cheek while Emily placed the same on your other. 

“Does Taylor know?” Alex asked at the same time Kelley said “I’m gonna need an exact date,”. 

Alex slapped the back of Kelley’s head. “Not the time Kel,”

“Yeah, Taylor knows and is super cool with it,” Lindsey said softly, squeezing your hand. 

Alex tilted her head, looking to you for confirmation. You nodded. 

“Good, because I didn’t want to have to try and keep it from her,” The forward smirked, and you felt more heat in your cheeks. You all promised you would never mention that incident again. 

“She was terrifying last time we saw her mad,” Kelley grumble, rubbing the back of her head. 

“That was because you let Y/n surf in giant waves on her first time out,” Emily snorted, nuzzling her nose into the space behind your ear. Alex smiled softly at the sight of you so relaxed. 

“Are you three going to tell the team?” She asked. 

“You might have to if you are going to continue playing tonsil tennis in the hallways,” Kelley added, only for Alex to slap the back of her head again. 

“We hadn’t really talked about it yet…” You mumbled. Both of your girlfriends squeezed you (Lindsey getting your gains, while Emily tightened the arms she had wrapped around your middle). 

“Well, could you wait like 3 days? I have 20 bucks on you three taking until the middle of camp to come out,” Kelley asked, scratching the back of her neck. You rolled your eyes. Of course, they would have bets on you, but you weren’t about to bend over backward for it. 

“You knew?” Emily screeched. Kelley cackled nodding wildly. 

“You’re not exactly subtle,” Alex laughed. Anyone with eyes could see that you were head over heels for the women and that they were falling just as hard as you were. 

*****

The internet fucking sucked. You knew that and found it relatively easy to ignore the mass chatter of the online world, but then again you had never been a part of such a disgusting report by some shady internet reporter. 

All you had done was gone to lunch with Shawn Mendes, and someone had snapped a picture. The two of you had become good friends after spending so much time together on the 1989 tour. Now some random reporter was commenting on how you had confirmed your new relationship. It wouldn’t have mattered if you were anyone else, but Taylor’s fandom had blown up the small town reporter’s article. 

Now they wouldn’t leave you the fuck alone. 

“We’re not going to respond to it,” You huffed, crossing your arms adamantly in front of your chest, effectively pushing your plate of pancakes away. You squinted at the vets sitting across from you, completely baffled why they thought you would take any other route. 

Lindsey’s arm around your shoulder righted, while Emily leaned in, almost conspiratorially. “Of course not, but wouldn’t it be fun to send the fans on a little goose chase anyway?” 

Your ears perked at that. Taylor’s fans were always so fun to mess with. They made it so easy, particularly because your sister had trained them to always look for clues (that most of the time exist). 

“And we have been talking about wanting to come out,” Lindsey added softly. 

Your expression soured. You didn’t want to do this as a reaction. You wanted it to happen naturally. 

“I don’t wanna do that in response to some asshole who doesn’t understand boundaries,” You pouted. 

“But what if we did it our way?” Lindsey and Emily both asked at the same time. It was scary how in sync they were most of the time. 

“Like get the team involved, tease the fans. At least show them that you don’t play for Mr. Mendes’ team,” Emily shrugged, trying to act like she didn’t care, but you knew she did. 

You couldn’t help but smirk. You did love to mess with the fans. 

“If you do wanna mess with the fans, I have the perfect picture” Tobin chimed in, giving you that little push you needed. 

Emily raised her eyebrows at the woman, ignoring the glares the rest of the vets were sending her way. “Didn’t see you as a prankster Toby,” 

“It’s artsier than anything else…” Tobin grumbled, flipping her phone to show you the photo she was talking about. 

It was of you, Emily and Lindsey during a morning hike the team had taken. You were laughing, while both of their heads were tucked into your neck. You were the only one clearly identifiable, but it was clear you were smitten with whoever you were with. 

“Ooo, I like that one,” You said, suddenly feeling excited. It was bound to send the fans into a frenzy because you couldn’t see who was making you smile so wide. 

Tobin nodded and began typing out the post, before flipping it for you to read and ok. You giggled at the tag line “only those two knuckleheads could get you to smile this wide before your morning coffee”. 

“Good?” Tobin asked, and you nodded enthusiastically. It was perfect, and coming out this way- with the help of your team- felt amazing. 

“I have one too. You guys are too photogenic,” Christen said, pulling up her phone and begging to scroll through her photos (much like the rest of the team began to do). Were you guys really that obvious? No wonder they had bets going. 

*****

Your teammates were having way too much fun. You shouldn’t have been surprised considering how private the women normally were, it must have been nice to get some time sending the fans on a wild goose chase. You were also surprised at how many photos your teammates had taken of you and your girlfriends. And just how many of those photos were perfect for the little game you were playing with the fans. 

You could identify yourself on all of them, but Emily and Lindsey weren’t clear at all. But it was plain to see that you were very in love with whoever was sitting next to you. 

“Did you see Alex’s picture? It's amazing!” You said, wiggling excitedly between your girlfriends. The three of you had taken a break from the team and decided to cuddle while you watched the fans go insane. (It was honestly one of your favorite places to be). 

“Pshhh, no Pinos is totally the best,” Emily snorted. 

You pouted. She nudged your side and placed a very sweet kiss on your pouty lips. 

Alex’s photo of Emily and Lindsey throwing you into the ocean was totally better than the one of you shoving and chasing your girlfriends with birthday cake-covered hands. 

“No, Kelley’s is totally the top picture in the bunch,” Lindsey smirked, nudging your chin with her nose from your other side. 

You blinked up at her and looked at the photo of one of your favorite goal celebrations. You had literally leaped into Emily and Lindsey’s arms, but you were at least 3 feet higher than Lindsey’s head in that picture. 

You bit your lip. It was a very good picture, one of your favorites actually, but there was one that topped them all for you. “They’re all pretty good, but I think I’ve got the best one,” You said softly, pulling out your phone. 

It didn’t take you long to find the picture in question (it also happened to be your lock screen). You were smiling brightly at the camera, the reputation tour stage (lit for the song Dress) clearly behind you, trapped between Emily and Lindsey kissing each of your cheeks. Your girlfriends looked over your shoulders to catch a glimpse of your phone. 

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” Lindsey asked softly. There was no hiding or pretending in that photo. It was open and honest (and a great picture of a fantastic night). 

“Yeah, it’s like speak now or forever hold your peace,” Emily added, and you could practically hear her eyebrow raising. 

“No, but I don’t wanna hide you two,” You shrugged. It was the balance you sister had worked her entire career to achieve. Hiding away meant that there was no commentary about your relationship from people you had never met (loose lips sank ships after all), but it also meant avoiding the little things that you longed to do in public. 

You weren’t sure if you would ever be ready to face the media, but your desire to be with your girlfriends the way you wanted was just so powerful. 

“You know we’ll wait as long as you need us to,” Lindsey said, using her thumb to tilt your chin and look you in the eyes. 

you nodded, your eyes never leaving her concerned blue ones. “I know but, like-. I wanna be able to hold your hand or kiss you and not have to worry who's watching. I want to be able to take you on dates, and not care about if a camera can see us cuddling. I want to be able to post about how great you looked in a game, or for your birthday. I don’t want to hide,” 

During your rant, Emily had wrapped herself around you from behind, resting her chin on your shoulder and rubbing her hands flat on your belly (which never failed to calm you down). 

“We know darling, but once this is done, it can’t be undone,” She said softly. 

You threaded your fingers through hers, glancing down to avoid Lindsey’s appraising stare (you never could get anything past them). “I didn’t think you were a Shakespeare fan,” You mumbled. 

“I’m full of surprises,” Emily said, kissing her favorite spot just behind your ear. Lindsey cracked a smile too “we both are”. 

“I know,” You nodded suddenly serious, as you carefully extracted yourself from your girlfriends and began to type up the Instagram post. 

You passed them the phone when you were done, idly twiddling your fingers now that you didn’t have anything in your hands. “I’m gonna do it if you two are alright with it,” 

“We’re fine with whatever you choose, we love you and just want you to be comfortable,” Lindsey and Emily both said, rubbing your back and arm respectively in a comforting motion. 

“I know, and I love you too. Let’s do it,” you said clicking the button and closing your phone. You didn’t need to watch the comments roll in.

It wouldn’t be until the next morning that you would see your sister had also decided to chime in. And you couldn’t keep the smile off your face at her simple caption- love my sister and her girlies. For sure the best squad ever. 

[taro-im]

Tsukishima Calls you Fat~

warning: kind of angst to fluff

*******ALSO ALL BODY SIZES R BEAUTIFUL *******

this is just a scenario so pls love your bodies

also this is my first time writing so sry if it sounds cringey or weird 😶

Tsukishima and you are about to go to your first year of college

Tsukishima and you have been dating since your first year in Karasuno, in your third year you were starting to stress out more because of exams, career paths, and the future

So during your last year you have been stress eating it has been a bad habit of yours to stress eat, you didn’t pay attention to how much you ate because you were more focused on exams and getting into your dream college

You barely spended time with your boyfriend Kei Tsukishima you guys haven’t seen each other after graduation …………….

Finally you got into your dream college, it felt like you were on Cloud 9

The first person you called was Kei and he was so happy for you

Him and you got into the same college and planned to rent an apartment together in 2 months………..:…………………………………………….

One day you were in the bathroom and noticed you gained more weight than usual, you went on your scale and noticed you gained 10 pounds you were shocked and disappointed in your self, how did you gain 10 pounds in only 3 months? you blamed yourself and beated yourself up about it

Then you decided to go on a diet, you felt embarrassed if Tsukishima saw you like this, you didn’t hung out with him, you lied and texted him “ I’m going to my home town for the summer” You barely ate, all you did was run and exercise all summer it was always very hard for you to loose weight since you were a child

Finally you only lost a couple pounds, you felt more confident and happy

lil time skip college starts soon

it has been the day you’ve been waiting for, seeing your boyfriend after 2 months of only texting each other, you jumped into his arms and hugged him so tight and he patted you on the head and said “ idiot your hugging me too tight I’m not going anywhere come one lets put our things in out apartment” you giggled and both started to unpack and settle into this new place that you will be sharing with your loving boyfriend

You and Kei talk about how your summers went and cuddled under the beautiful view of the Tokyo night sky

time skip 4 months of living together

It was a very stressful day for you, you had 2 big projects due in a week, that would affect your grade. You haven’t stressed ate in a long time tbh when you ever were stressed you would either barely eat or eat to much but you would never noticed

You and Kei never really saw each other only in the morning, He worked part time at a music store and the job ended at twelve so you only had a glimpse of each other before you went to school, that whole week you stressed ate and binged, finally it was time to turn in the assignment and you gotted an A on both you were so happy and all the stress was gone, you celebrated with one of your friends from high school at a restraunt, she looked at you and said “ omg y/n you gained so much weight what happened did you stress eat again???” Suddenly you mood was sour, she enjoyed the dinner and you barely touched your food, you looked in the mirror in disgust and noticed you gained that weight back you hated yourself for it so you tried you best at starving your self, you lost most of the weight you gained and felt a little better

Today was a Saturday, Tsukishima was off and today you and him finally got to spend time with each other after a long time even though you both live together you barely saw each other or texted each other then you used to, it felt like your relationship was falling apart

Tsukishima wasn’t in his best mood today and you didn’t even knew that he got fired from his job. While Tsukishima was in a bad mood you were so happy he got to stay home today so you figured that you and him could cuddle and watch movies together so you made cookies and brought snacks from the store and went to his room……………

“Keiiiii guess whattttt I made cookies for us and some snacks we could watch a movie and cuddle together” you said in pure excitement not noticing he was pissed “ not now” he groaned “come on we haven’t spent time with each other for a long time it will be fun” you said, “Can you fuck off Y/n I’m not in the mood right now and it looks like you’ve gained weight so I think it’s best not to eat any cookies or snack right now you should be in a diet” he said in anger and frustration, your face wall full of embarrassment, you holded in your tears, you didn’t even know what to say all you could think of to say was “ sorry for bothering you I’ll just throw the food away” you left and closed the door trying to hold in your embarrassment, guilt, and anger you were trying your best to loose that weight you only had 1 meal a day you haven’t had snacks since the project which was a month ago, your friend called you fat but you didn’t really take close to heart because she was only being honest, you tried your best but now suddenly your boyfriend tells you this? You feel so lonely, even though you both were bo the living in the same roof it feels like you were more distant then ever, all your insecurities when into your head.

After that fight you saw Tsukishima more often but it was so awkward, you tried avoiding him he would try to start a convo with you but you would cut him off and say “ sorry I have um I have something important to do” and you would go to your room, he would always be in the living room studying, you felt really petty for ignoring him but you just couldn’t go back to normal he didn’t even apologize, you took his words to close to heart and barely ate just water and some granola

“Hey Y/n I brought your favorite cake today and your favorite drink come eat with me” he said, He literally just called me fat 2 weeks ago the fuck? you felt so angered and said “just throw it away I don’t want to get fat” “who called you fat you look fine?” He said so confused, you had tears from built up anger, tears trickled down your face making Tsukishima shocked and hugged you tightly “darling what’s wrong why are you crying who made you upset?” He said confused “you literally called me fat 2 weeks ago, and told me to fuck off i just wanted to spend time with you, and you just got angry at me” you said sniffling, Tsukishima suddenly remembered what happened 2 weeks ago he was so angry that he accidentally took his anger out on you “I’m so sorry Y/n I’m such an idiot… I took out my anger on you that I didn’t even payed attention to what I said, that day I got fired from my part time job and I wasn’t in a good mood I’m so sorry baby I didn’t mean to hurt you” he said sounding regretful “It’s ok Kei I’m sorry to hear that you got fired are you ok?” You said concerned “It’s ok but I just needed a little more money to get you that bag you saw in high school I was going to surprise u for yur birthday but I can’t buy it now” he said, so the reason why you didn’t see him that much is because he wanted to buy that bag In display during high school which was really expensive… he really remembered that one time you went to Tokyo together in highschool, You always thought that your boyfriend never really noticed but he did. Both of you makes up with each other but Tsukishima was mostly sorry and you both decided to go on a date tommorow and spend the whole day together