#sorry it’s been so long since i was here i dont remember my tagging system so this will have to do

[riot-ops]

(Note: I'm still new to image IDs, so sorry if I over/underdetail or mess up - please correct me for any errors.)

Image IDs below cut:

[IMAGE ID - IMAGE 1: A screenshot of a server profile on disboard, with the yellow 'new' flag above the name. The server is named "🌈 ( Fruit Salad ) <star>". There are five tags listed under the title; "LGBTQ", "System", "DID", "IRL", and "Kin". Under the tags, the description reads;

"🌈 | Are you looking for a fun, welcoming community? Then, you should join our family at Fruit Salad! We're inclusive of all lgbtq+ identities and sources!

We have; 🫐 Active Staff. 🍌 New community. 🍊 A fruit and rainbow themed layout. 🍒 Easy to navigate channels, including a channel list explaining their uses! 🍏 Plenty of channels to find comfort. 🍇 Sensible and easy to follow rules.

🎉 | If you want to have the time of your life, join now!"

Underneath, there is a blue button that says "JOIN THE SERVER" and a flag that says "1 hour ago", indicating how long it has been since last the server was promoted. /END ID]

[IMAGE ID - IMAGE 2: A screenshot of a discord conversation between multiple users. The channel is titled "#ticket-0004". A user named "ulrich 💉 , the clinic", with a red displayname and a profile picture of the medic from TF2 says

"we just said if it was for the comfort of the member, not that the person shall be shamed for their source. we would notify the person that "hello, [user] has a discomfort. could you possibly have [alter] refrain from engaging in conversation with said person?"

the ndl is only for staff, sorry! we have never said source was a choice, and none of the staff has that belief. but, if the source is something beyond fucked up, we would ask the alter to try disconnecting from source. because we would prefer that people refrain from parading around a source of school shooters and girls murders ❤️"

A user named "TobsterFire 🐾" with a dark blue displayname and a profile picture of a sillhouette in front of a light blue wall, says

"And what if the member is disconnected by not in a way you find appropriate. We find often that people sourced from irl murderers are allowed to retain whatever horrible sentiments they had in source as long as they change their name and use a different picture while members who keep connection to physical attributes but dont agree with any of the actions are punished"

User "ulrich 💉 , the clinic" says

"we would prefer that somebody would. not go around being like "I remember killing 5 children in my source", but we cannot control peoples "

the message is cut off here, continuing on IMAGE 3.

"actions. but if they would do that in our server it would lead to an instant banning. we would try to educate them, I suppose but that is not our job. we do not believe that people can change what they go and look like but still care for whatever horrific actions they have done. they would still be connected to that source. it is not hard to change a profile picture to an animal and pick out some silly name that you like, while also disagreeing with the bad things someone had done in source. nobody can control their sources, ja. but they certainly can control how they go about being a person"

User "TobsterFire 🐾" says

"It can be very hard for members who have struggled in the past with abuse and being 'forced to be a different person' with a different name and a different appearance

User "ulrich 💉 , the clinic" says

"yes, i understand that. believe me, i do. might I ask what you are trying to do right now? are you trying to have me change my opinion? genuine question."

User "TobsterFire 🐾" says

"I'm trying to understand the lines of what is and isn't okay as someone that doubles as being one of the biggest advocators for "problematic" fact based alters."

The screenshot ends here, but the conversation continues on IMAGE 4.

User "TobsterFire 🐾" continues speaking, saying

"To me, the statement "it is not that hard to change a profile picture to an animal and pick out some silly name that you like," makes no sense. Because it can be hard. It can be torturous. I've spoken with many who have accounts of such. So that fact is just... Fiction. And I'm pointing out that because its not fair to defend an argument with fiction"

There is also an "(edited)" tag at the end of the message.

Another user with the displayname "``Pink/Spy/Alain`` |💖| |AD...", the pluralkit "APP" tag, and a profile picture of the blue spy from TF2 says

"Hello! Sorry to interrupt this chain but what is your end goal with this conversation?"

Another user with the displayname "[MOD] ⚾ saiki/media n...", the pluralkit "APP" tag, and a profile picture of a girl with grey hair and yellow eyes says

"your opinion is valued and heard, but I might add that this conversation doesn't seem to be productive perhaps you two should just agree to disagree and move on?"

User "TobsterFire 🐾" replies to the message from "``Pink/Spy/Alain`` |💖| |AD..." and says

"understanding what is and isnt okay"

User "ulrich 💉 , the clinic" replies to the message from "TobsterFire 🐾" about changing profile pictures and says

"doing a little discord bot command is... torturous?"

The screenshot ends here, but the conversation continues on IMAGE 5.

User "TobsterFire 🐾" replies to the message from "[MOD] ⚾ saiki/media n..." and says

"As a system that includes 'problematic' factives, I need to know if our members will be instantly got in trouble for speaking."

User "``Pink/Spy/Alain`` |💖| |AD..." says

"Oh that's, not the best way to word that I don't think. If you are just dragging this out in hopes of downright agreement or disagree then this ticket will be closed this is a pointless conversation to be having."

User "TobsterFire 🐾" replies to the previous message from "ulrich 💉 , the clinic" and says

"Lying to themselves and to others over their identity is torturous"

User "Pink/Spy/Alain |💖| |AD…" replies to the message from "TobsterFire 🐾" about members getting in trouble and says

"You. Could have just said that from the start."

User "TobsterFire 🐾" says

"I shouldn't have to disclose that information."

/END ID]

Fruit Salad is a new discord server. They are a fun. Welcoming community. Too bad they're actually not accepting of anyone they don't agree with and believe trying to come to an understanding is "unproductive"

If anyone is able to provide image IDs, that would be amazing, I'm physically incapable at the moment

The first red flag was their rules saying something along the lines of "be respectful to sources, of a source is problematic, report it in a ticket" surely that will go well.

Our host clued into it, and immediately opened a ticket to ask what that meant. of course they claimed they knew Introjects don't choose their source BUT problematic introjects have to source separate.

Fellas, is it appropriate to claim that any introject, problematic or not is "parading" their source by simply. Existing?

Now I will admit. When we were asked "what we were trying to do" we assumed they meant "why are we having this conversation" and did our best to explain that. However, looking back, this may not have been the question they wanted an answer to. The question feels too vague to answer, and we did our best. It also seemed like they were just trying to change the topic of conversation because they didn't want to be face with the fact that they were wrong and we had a good point.

Again, I don't understand what they want to know when they say "what is your end goal" my end goal is to know what's okay so I can know if I'm safe in this community.

To be as insensitive as to make a joke about using a discord bot being torturous when I had just been talking about abuse of individuals is what told me I wasn't safe. Someone after that when said "LMAO" which I skipped over to make the whole conversation fit better

And this is actually a problem I've been having for a while so I have something that people need to get through their heads and we need to help people to understand

No one has to disclose a SINGLE BIT of information about their system to ANYONE. If a mod is trying to coax the information out of you or shaming you for not giving it, you need to call them out for being innapropriate because asking these questions and using your position to ask these questions or shame for not answering is a absolutely innapropriate

Now I have explained this before, but I will explain this again and probably 100 more times. When my system found out who my source was, I was abused. at the same time, I was forced to undergo name changes and identify under different faces. It was a terrible and isolating experience and absolutely a part of the abuse I endured. And while another system can easily say "okay, whatever, Ted can be Dan in this server" we can't. Because I can't. Because of the abuse I endured I can't lie about who I am it is torturous to me. It leaves me unhappy. It leaves me feeling sick. I don't deserve to be exposed to old abuse I endured because you relate source separation to keeping your old name.

Guess what, a name is a word someone calls to get your attention.

And a pic of you is what you look like

And neither of these things have anything to do with what i support or enjoy

Stop acting like my worth is based on my source and start acting like it's based on what I do for my system. People who show up to the hypocrite competition go home when they see people like you (directed at people like this not any reader) because you're the all time champion and that's not something to be proud of. Don't run system friendly spaces if you think source connection comes from how much like you your pfp looks

[yoonia]

I think I know you from 4 years ago or maybe more. It's amazing that you're still writing long pics even with less than 500 likes, I don't mean to sound condescending but I myself feel like if I put 20k words worth of effort, I should at least get 800 likes if not 1k. I get disappointed when I dont but it is what it is. Tumblr has made me so hollow and despondent about writing but not you and I admire that. I think you truly enjoy writing and that's everything.

You know, I really had no idea how to respond to this message at first, especially after reading through the first half of your message.

Just like you said, I've been here for a long time. Long enough to know that focusing on notes truly derails your passion and interest in what you are doing on this site or why you are here in the first place. I've long since stopped focusing on notes or making them matter in any way for me. I am here to write, I love my writing, I love what I'm doing and I have a vision in my writing that goes beyond the little space that Tumblr provides for me which is why I refuse to let numbers take all of that away from me.

Especially now, when this site has a terrible new algorithm that is obviously not in favour with content creators, especially smut content. Notes have gone down, new Tumblr users are using the site as if they're on Instagram with using more likes than reblogs and clogging the tags by posting irrelevant posts, and the site keeps making us into ghosts by hiding our blog in the search or making us invisible in the tag system. Not to mention the fact that no matter how many followers you have, I'm pretty sure not all 20k people following you would add a note to a fic right when they have just been released. So, honestly, I no longer let myself think that "oh, I wrote 20k words so I MUST have more than 800 likes" because honey, that won't get you far. Not here.

Having 5 people commenting and giving me feedback matters to me more than those ghost numbers these days and I'm still writing today for myself and for them. Keeping this in mind has since given me more motivation to keep on going the way I am today.

Thank you for following me or at least knowing me for a long time. I'm sorry if Tumblr has made you somewhat despondent simply because of this reason, but perhaps you might want to try and look back and remember why you started in the first place. I always do that when I'm down and it's always been helpful. I hope you are well.

[kaz11283]

Chapter 5

Characters: Clint, you, Loki

Warnings: this is a SLOW burn, slight angst, fluff at the end, Loki starting shit.

Summary: life has never really bwen this complicated. Or well the life that you think you know has never really been this complicated. Living with the avengers, learning new things, yeah its gonna be a long road but what else do you have to look forward to other than the random runins with the god of mischief.

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~

It had been about a week since you had arrived at the tower and just as long as your incounter with Loki, you hadnt had much time to think about it though since you were normally nose deep in class work or training with Nat and Clint since Tony had sent you the message "If your gonna be an avenger you have to train like one, training starts at 6." You had left him on read after that, you had never been a morning person and you sure as hell wasnt about to start now.

"Alright y/n, lets try you on the bow today." Clint smiled walking into the arena where most of your training took place.

"After I finish this." You said pointing to your coffee. "I swear, you would think that after saving lives you would want to sleep in." You grumbled.

"Bad guys dont sleep, we dont get to sleep." Clint said wiping down a few of his practice arrows.

"You didnt get back till like 3 this morning. Im really starting to wonder if you sleep at all." You tossed your cup away and got up starting to do your stretches.

"Get over here so I can show you how to hold this thing." He saod holding out the bow.

"I know how to use a bow, I was in archery in high school. Top of my team." You grabbed the bow feeling the cool metal in your hand. His bow was diffrent than what you was use to, as light as air almost were yours had been heavy.

"This bow is probably a little different than what your use to. The metal is vibranium, the strings are made of some type of industrial woven string that Tony invinted in his lab. Might be a littlw hard for you to pull back." He smiled looking at the bow like a child.

"It is very beautiful." You examined it looking down the sights has you pulled the string back easily. "Absolutly magnificent peice of weaponry." You looked over at him and seen that he was staring at you wide eyed. "What?"

"No one else has ever been able to draw the string back like that." You let the string gently go back into place amd handed it back to him.

"I told you, I was in archery while I was in high school."

"Theres no way that someone no matter how skilled they are can pull that back."

"Well if your forgetting, apperantly Im not from here either."

"Yup almost forgot, Asguardian. Anyways. You know how to use one of these so lets set up a few targets and get to work. Tony wants to try you out on a few different things, eval you, and see what suits you best. Im already leaning toward you being good at the bow."

After he talked you through some of the basics that you had informed him you knew and he insisted on stating that it was 'mandatory' you were finally able to pick up one of the training bows.

"These bows suck. Stark has all the money in the world and he buys walmart brand bows? If you pull this one back to many times the string will break. Why cant I just use yours?" You roll your eyes looking back at Clint.

"My bow, my baby. If you want ine bad enough you can start off at the bottom and work your way up. You have a card why dont you buy one?" He countered, just then the foor opened drawing your attention.

"Sorry, didnt realize that the area was occupied today, I just wanted to get a few throws in woth the new daggers Stark and Banner decided to enhance for me. Wanted to make sure that they wouldnt bloe up in my face." Loki said walking over to the bay next to you and Clint. You hadnt had a moment alone with the trickster since in the hall weeks ago and now he was here acting as of nothingbhad happened. You looked down at the daggers that he had laid out.

"Wow, those are beautiful." You noticed that not only had he laid down two simple green handeled knives but he had also laid down a set of electric blue ones and a set of gold handle ones engraved with ancient symbols and roses with the stems winding down the hilt. "May I?" You asked leaning down to get a closer look.

"Of course y/n, you are the one that gave me those." He answered casually. Your breathing hitched and you turned to look at him.

"Thats not funny Loki."

"I dont know what your talking about. I was simpl-" he started before you cut him off.

"You know damn good and well what I am talking about. What did you expect? Me to pick it up and everything come barreling back to me? Here I'll do you one even better." You stormed up to the daggers and grabbed one of the gold ones up throwing it at the target on the far side of the room. You had expected it to fall short and clink to the floor but you never hears it fall. When you looked at the target you noticed you had hit the middle.

Clints jaw had dropped as he was looking around the wall to see what you had been yelling about. Loki looked at you with a smug expression. "I assume they must have had knife throwing classes at the school you attended as well."

"Shut up. Clint are we done, I have some studying for class that I really need to do." You looked at clint as he knodded still awestruck. "Thanks, I'll talk with Tony about getting a better bow for me to practice with." You took off toward your room.

Later after you had taken a hot shower and changed into some leggings and a baggy shirt you decided to go to the one place in the tower that you had decided to claim as your own little study corner. It was located on of of the high up floors that happened to be more of an observation deck, you could watch the team leave on missions, see the ocean, and watch some of the most beautiful sun sets that you had seen. You had notice while checking the place out that there was a fairly large window seat that you could spead your work out on as you looked out over the city, this small part of the tower was your little hid away, you hadnt seen any other member of the team up here so you figured when you needed the alone time you could come here. It had seemed to work for the most part until today.

You notice the shadow of the figure standing over you before looking up into the eyes of Lokis confused ones, you had noticed his lips moving before rolling your eyes and taking out your noise canceling ear pods.

"What do you want Loki?" You sighed placing them back into the chsrging dock.

"Well if you hadnt had those things in you would have heard me tell you that I was sorry for earlier." He sassed crossing his arms.

"How did you find me? No one really bothers coming up here." You pulled your legs under your chin and covering you feet with the throw that you had brought up with you this time.

"The AI system has no bounderies when it comes to privacy, it can tell you were anyone is in this god forsaken place." He responded. "May I sit?"

"And if I say no?"

"I'll sit anyways." He shrugged.

"Then what is the point in asking?" You leaned forward moving your papers and books out of the way. He reached down and grabbed a few of the papers to help you.

"Your doing a paper on Shakespeare?" He asked as he sat down reading over the page.

"Umm, yeah. Part of my agreement to come here is so that I can finish up my collage classes. Drama and Art Major." He hamded the paper back to you so that you could stick it in your binder. He gave you a look that you were use to getting from him. "Don't say it Loki." You out your hand up to stop him before he could even open his mouth.

"I wasn't going to say anything." He held his hands up.

"Hum, interesting. The god of lies actually sucks at lying. I should remember that." You smiled. This was the first time you had actually felt half way confortable around him.

"I could never lie to you." He smiled back. "You have always had a knack for seeing right through me."

"I wish you wouldnt do that." You sighed leaning your heas agints the window behind you.

"Do what exactly?" He askes mirroring your position.

"Where you mention something about my past. Its annoying and it breaks my heart."

"Well Dove, how do you think I feel? The worst part about it for me is that while you remember nothing I am stuck remembering everything. Your past, my past, our past together. It truly is the worst pain that I have ever felt. To have something that you have wanted for so long in front of you and they dont even want you back." He sighed looking out the window.

"Loki," you crossed your legs and placed your elbows on your knees. "I have never said that I didnt want you. I just dont know what is what."

"So you do want me?" He laughted.

"That is not what I meant and you know it." You leanded back again. "Tell me about us. About how you and Thor know me." He eyes lite up.

Chapter 6

Tag list:

@high-functioning-lokipath

@serpentargo

@drbaureid

@poetic-fiasco

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@rosaline-black

@jesuswasnotawhiteman

@natandersonnla

@delightfulheartdream

[youareunbearable]

Catch me not having a clue who any of these gods(?) and people are, but still sitting here like, "I ship that pretty one with the gruff one, and that brown haired one with the other(?) gruff one?" without knowing names or what this is except the fanart I see you reblog, because this fandom apparently has lots of nice art

Fam i have no idea what ur talking about or when u sent this im so sorry asfkjhfkjhf but i thiiiinnnkkkk??????? it’s “Heavens Official Blessing” or  Tiān Guān Cì Fú (TGCF for tagging stuff) its originally a chinese gay novel that is soooooooo long by the author  Mo Xiang Tong Xiu (MXTX) who wrote 2 (two?????) other novels that I know of that are also gay historical fantasy but i personally havent actually read TGCF???? im just watching the anime and looking at the wiki and reading fanfics so i have a vague idea whats going on but not really???? so i cant really give a good review BUT i LOVE THE CHARACTERS MXTX WRITES SO MUCH AFHAFKFHKFAKF IM SO SORRY IM SHIT WITH TAGGING SO U HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IM HYPER FIXATING ON BUT

LISTEN

LISTEN 

LISTEN

Pretty one and the gruff one im THINKING is He Xuan (or Ming Yi/ Ming-Xiong/Ming Bro) for the grumpy one and Shi Qingxuan for the pretty one and both are kinda gender fluid?? (more Shi Qingxuan but they both change their forms to be both women and men which is Iconic and the anime put her in the TRANS FLAG COLOUR instead of her canon white and green which is ICONIC) AND THHEYRE SO TRAGIC AND HOT AND I CRY JUST THINKING ABOUT THEIR STORY LIKE AFHDFKJAFDSGS like i want to kinda read the book just for them, the two super minor characters, but i also read somewhere that their story doesn’t really have a clean ending so im also holding back from just getting Emotionally Hurt because im a cancer and i know it’ll wreck me

I think The Two Gruff Idiots are Feng Xin (dark haired gruff boy) and Mu Qing (brown haired gruff boy) and theyre both martial gods and both knew each other for over 800 years and both tried to take care of Actual Human And Heavenly Disaster Xie Lian, failed, and tried to do it again 800 years later but with stupid glasses with moustaches in hopes that Xie Lian cant figure out that they care about him but OOPS Xie Lian does in fact have the braincell of the three of them fajfafjajf 

Heres the link to watch the anime, there are 11 eps rn but it updates every weekend (I dont actually know when but i watch it on sundays) Make sure u have ur ad block on tho lol there is a manga too and the art style is TO DIE FOR like its GORGEOUS but its roughly at the same pace as the anime so eh

Heres where to read the whole thing online, just a warning its BIG AS FUCK like 244? plus extras I think?? 

I’d also recommend MXTX’s other books!

Mo Dao Zu Shi (or Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation/ The Untamed/MDZS) is both a Book as well as an Anime (the whole thing is on youtube) , a Live Action which you can watch on Netflix (look up Untamed, also a warning, the plot is a little different from the book and anime cause of uhhh censorship?? also i guess to make it more live drama friendly, my friends an i binged it and really liked it, but some of the fandom doesn’t), a manga which is not finished I think???? idk im not caught up, and a fucking chinese AUDIO DRAMA LIKE BITCH ITS SO WELL DONE but i have to stop listening sometimes cause like there is a difference between watching/reading characters kiss, and then like just hearing them, i get so embarrassed i have to skip the kissing scenes and god forbid i accidentally click on the smutty extras alfjajlfjalfjaljf u can find it on youtube, i linked the one i listen to but i havent finished it and i don’t think it’s all of it, but you can find other episodes/chapters easily

Its about 1 Dumb Yet So Smart gay/bi man (Wei Wuxian) who honestly tries his fucking best, fucks up everything, dies for over a decade, and then is forcefully brought back to life to solve a murder mystery with the guy who has been in Super Gay Love with him since they were teens (Lan Zhan), a bunch of teens Who Are Just Honestly Here For A Good Time And Yet (Lan Juniors, Jin Ling, and Best Boy Ouyang Zizhen ) while badly hiding his real identity from all the people he knows, including his foster brother (Jiang Cheng) who is out for blood and hunting his ass down with a whip and also Lan Zhan who is travelling with him. Also the Killer. There is a killer on the loose and is willing to murder whoever to keep their secrets. Also Nie Huaisang. I adore him and his brother Nie Mingjue, if there is one bitch u gotta remember from this summary it’s this little twink (he and his brother also have a fucking spin off movie from the live action drama THAT I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO FIND A ENGLISH SUB VERSION AND ITS BEEN KILLING ME SINCE I STARTED WATCHING THIS SHOW LAST YEAR. GOOGLE GIVE ME MY FAVOURITE TWINK AND HIS BEAR OF A BROTHER HAVING A FUN FAMILY ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!)

My Personal Current Favourite is Scum Villain’s Self Saving System (SVSSS) which is SOOOOOOO FUNNY Like it’s not as popular cause the comic was discontinued, and the anime looks like its from 2005 with the weird 3D animation but its my current comfort media!!! 

Its basically about a spite reading millennial (Shen Yuan) who died after reading a REALLY awful popular cheesy smut harem novel (think like 50 shade series but worse cause the protag had 600 wives) and was forced into the body of a minor but important villain (the protagonist’s teacher, Shen Qingqiu) from the novel who was fated to die with all his limbs cut off and his eyes and tongue plucked out and is told he has to fix the story so its not trash, he reasonably freaks the fuck out and hugs the protagonists (Luo Binghe) thigh so hard he turns him gay without realizing. Sadly, he does have to make sure certain plot points happen, which fucks him over a lot,  and he thinks Luo Binghe still wants to kill him instead of love him cause he has the Emotional Intelligence of a Rock, but its so funny reading about him handling all the awful tropey stuff, like imagine u have to be a character in My Immortal But With Porn?????? without breaking out of character too much?? I wouldn’t be able to handle it ajhakfkfhjfj He also finds out that he’s not the only transmigrator in the novel either, but it doesn’t matter cause theyre both So Fucking Stupid Collectively but everyone would honestly die for the both of them

warning for this story though, the main relationship is a teacher/student relationship, but nothing happens until the student is in his 20s and also kinda not his student anymore cause he’s running hell??? but if that squicks u out i totally understand and offer you to PLEASE still enjoy some of this media, and instead of the BingQiu ship, I offer you the LiuQiu one, where both me and the main character cry over how a beautiful man/fellow immortal lord loves the main character so much that he literally fought every day for 5 years to be by his side and I Think Thats Beautiful and I kinda like this ship more than the main one tbh PLEASE just look at the art for Liu Qingge because i love him so much, he’s like if you took Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng from MDZS and mashed them into one beautiful man the author is trying to tell me is straight but u take one look at him And Tell Me Otherwise

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Circus of Carelessness (Pt.2)

-------------------------

"What'd you mean? You saw both of us last night didn't you?" Remy said, tilting his head slightly.

"Nope, never met you in my life," Virgil replied, tapping his fingers on the table in front of him. Remy's face fell slightly behind his glasses.

"Well I uh, sorry for bothering you," he said, looking down slightly before walking away.

Virgil sat at his booth, giving out fortunes and talking to the occasional decent costumer.

That night there was no sign of Remy or Remus, so Virgil walked to Drew's cabin alone, took his pills, and fell asleep.

The circus was busy today, spring break had started and parents wanted an excuse to tire their children out before they got to much energy. Virgil didnt mind, he'd sing and dance for the children before showing them card tricks and giving out fortunes. He'd watch their tiny little faces light up with awe at the sparkles and ribbons and showmanship of his act.

But today, today was different. There were children, yes, but there were lots of men in suits and glasses and hats.

One of them approached Virgil's booth, a man with brown eyes that glinted yellow in the light and his hat covering the side of his face.

"Mr. . ." The man stopped to look for a sign of identification.

"Whitlock," Virgil offered.

"Whitlock, yes, I believe you remember me from yesterday? I asked about those two boys?" Said the man, showing Virgil the picture of Remy and Remus.

"I dont recognize them, and I don't recognize you, and I'd appreciate if you'd leave me alone," Virgil said.

"Very well, but I do have a few questions for you first," said the man.

"Fine, ask me your questions," Virgil said, crossing his arms and propping his boots up on the table.

"Can you tell me what your day here usually looks like?" Asked the man, there was a slight glint in his eyes.

"Well I wake up, then I get ready to come here and give out fortunes, then I do aerial performances in the main show, then I come back here, then I go home and take my pills and the Ring Master or one of my uncles takes me back to my cabin to sleep," Virgil said, as though he'd told this story a thousand times.

The man raised an eyebrow at him "And what kinds of pills are you taking?" He asked.

"Anti-depressants, birth control, anxiety medication, and sleeping pills," Virgil stated.

The man's eyes went wide "what do these sleeping pills look like exactly?" He pressed.

"They're sort of a pinkish color, I put them in my water before I take any of my other meds and I use that water to take them," Virgil said.

"Can you tell me more about these uncles of yours? How many are there? Where do they come from?" The man said.

"Oh they're not really my uncles, I just call them that because it's easier than learning there names, they've been helping the current Ring Master and his father take care of me since I got dropped here when I was seven," Virgil said, pausing to take a breath "they dont do much, they're in the shows of course but they mostly work as clowns or do the concession stands, though sometimes there'll be uncles that come from somewhere else," he finished.

"And what about this memory loss of yours, do you know what might be causing that?" Said the man.

"Its probably an ADHD or anxiety thing, isnt memory loss supposed to be common with those?" Virgil responded.

The man merely nodded and walked away. A few moments later Drew had run up to Virgil's booth, yelling at him about talking to people who were clearly not to be trusted and asking what all he told them.

That night Drew wasnt at his cabin, instead three of Virgil's uncles had come to visit him, Virgil took his pills and he went to bed, closing his eyes and hoping whatever was going on would be over by tomorrow.

It was about three in the morning when a chorus of sirens broke out over the cabins and tents. Virgil jolted awake, pulling his sleeping mask off and peaking through the window. He barely had time to register what was going on before he felt an arm around his waist, and felt something slip over his mouth. He tried to struggle against it, but he was much to tired at that point.

He woke up in a place he didnt recognize, laying on a cot in a dark room. He sat up and looked around, all that was there was a closet containing his work costume, his binder, a few t-shurts, and a few jeans; as well as a table with a lamp on it, a bookshelf, and a chair.

Virgil stood up and walked to the door, pulling on it in an attempt to get it to open.

"That wont work," the voice of the man from earlier sounded from under the door.

"Where am I! I havent done anything wrong! Let me out!" Virgil said, banging his fist on the door.

"You're not in jail, you're being kept here for your safety, the Ring Master of your circus, Drew Clairmont, as well as these uncles you've referenced, have been making and distributing illegal drugs, those things you call 'sleeping pills' are actually memory altering, and meant to make you forget specific occurrences, it's likely that these uncles were there to tell you exactly who and what to forget before you woke up," Virgil stepped back from the door, eyes wide.

"You'll be here for a few weeks, it seems as though you've had them in your system for nearly fifteen years, much longer than the other members of your circus," said the man.

"So what's going to happen when I get out? Huh? Where are you gonna take me?" Virgil said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Once you're better you'll have free range of Remy and Remus' house, they've offered to let you stay for as long as you need," said the man.

"I dont remember who those are!" Virgil said, he was shaking, his legs felt numb.

"Let me handle this Jan," Remy's voice sounded from beside the door. The door opened and he stepped inside, taking Virgil's hands in his own.

"Follow my breathes Virgil, you're going to be ok, we're going to help you," Remy said, Virgil merely listened for his breathing patterns, watched his chest rise and fall and followed along.

"There we go, now it's late, you should get back to bed," Remy drowned Virgil's protests out with soft whispers as he lay him back onto the bed, running his fingers through Virgil's soft hair, singing quiet lullabies until Virgil was fast asleep.

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

@meowthefluffy

@thecolorfulolive

@spooky-scary-virgil

@youtuberswithalex

@misunderstoodshadowling

@nerosdayinhell

@fangirlfiles1

[emeraldbabygirl]

Because my lil shit punk ass bitch friend is being a meany shit bitch fart goblin bitch ass bitch on a stick and I’ve been a sappy and gross clingy shit ass bitch for the past couple months and it’s the time of day, early in the morning, when I get most lonely and soft and clingy I’m making a tiny very super tiny appreciation post for my mutuals. My love, my friends, the squad, the homies, the mates, my support system. So eat this mf love bitches!

@ithinkilikeit-reactions MY HUBBY whomst tf I love and wish I could meet and talk to about the things we do. You are so sweet to me and I remember all those times you just send me love cause I ask for it cause I’m an attention whore or because you know I’m having a time and I just appreciate you so much

@gods-dont-negotiate hello daDDY lmao um fuck me. I’m kidding but I fucking love and adore your cute ass so fucking much you have such big dick energy and I love when you just randomly message me talking about your day or anything you are interested in or literally anything at all and I always smile whenever I’m having a hard day at work and I see your random message that is just you telling me anything because I love to hear it. You are just a ray of sunshine and we have so many things in common and I love that we understand those things and I’m comfortable telling you things and I just love how cool you are because you are cool and I wish I could hang out with you and just vibe together, maybe do some illegal hand holding 👀

@despair-lightbreaker yoU MOTHERFUCKING SHIT PIECE OF SHIT ASS BITCH ASS SHIT BITCH BITCH. You are a motherfuckin specimen. You never shut the fuck up you’re always so goddamn loud over JR and I fucking love it because bitch that’s you you stupid tall ass bitch ass tall bitch who is in love with JR and Laon and Hojin you sexy slut you, fuck off. I love how you try to dig into my brain sometimes and that one time you scared me by listing off some kinks I had and I almost passed. I love that a lot of our convos are all caps and involve the weirdest shit and calling each over ‘bitch’ and ‘hoe’ I love all the fucking nicknames you randomly come up with for me, I love whenever you review comebacks on your blog, I love how you just go balls to the wall in the tags I love that you are so confused about so many things I do and say like the whole baby bubble and 2Z and just everything, I love that..idk I just love that you’re sometimes more random than me on some things, I love your poetry, I love that you will fall dick over table for JR and it’s the cutest thing ever and it makes me laugh. Sometimes you’re just really cute bro, like fr

@excindrela remember when I used to call you my wife? I know it’s been a long time since we last talked and I’m sorry. I feel like it’s my fault actually and I need to get back with you, we used to talk all the time. I miss you a lot and I just want to hear you talk about anything and everything again. You were one of my first mutuals in here and you’re amazing and whenever I talk to you about any problem I’m having you always make me feel better. You’re like my internet mum and I really love and appreciate all those moments we have together. I miss those fun shenanigans

@thedungeonofsinners you. My god where do I start. When I first saw that what had happened with your account and that you were leaving I did cry. I felt like I lost a best friend, I didn’t know where I would find you, if I’d ever get to talk to you again and I was already in a sad mood and I just could help myself. Then when you told me you were coming back I cried again. I haven’t messaged you yet through your new account but I’m excited and happy to share all kinds of things with you. I love you so much, you go through so much and I wish I could be there with you to comfort you and just hold your hand and hold your tall ass in my arms. You are a beautiful person inside and out, truly, you are so kind but so hard on yourself and it hurts my heart. You deserve so much love and I wish for you to be happy. I love all our conversations and things we’ve talked about, I love that we have so many things in common and that we can just whore out together and it’s a good connection. It feels great to have someone that you can just release your most sinful thoughts with and just laugh and have a good time. I hope to have more of those times with you. I miss you so fucking much and wish you weren’t so far away. I wish we could hang out. The internet is so hard when you are lonely and need human contact and you just want to see your friends and things. God I hope you are taking care of yourself and doing alright. Take it easy out there and if you ever want to message me please do. I might not see it right away and I apologize if I’m not there when you really need someone to talk to. It sucks when you on the other side of the fucking rock and your sleeping schedule is already batshit crazy. I just want to be able to message you whenever you need me. I’m sorry I’m never up to see your messages but I love you and I always see them later.

I didn’t put all my mutuals cause there’s a lot of mutuals that I’m still getting to know and I don’t have a special connection with yet and that makes me sad because they are still my friends, they still matter to me, I still love them but I can’t make a post for them just yet because I don’t have anything really to say yet :( I’m sorry. I just need to talk with some of my friends more often, find out more about them, share more stories with them. I love all my friends and I want to have bonds tighter than my asshole with them. I wish you all well and I hope you are all staying safe and taking care of yourselves and your families during these times. I know it’s really hard. Makes me wanna cry honestly and I have. I just wish I could be there for all of you irl to hug and hang out with and laugh with. Hang in there my loves, we’ll all get through this.

God and I know I’m literally the worst person when it comes to time zones and I know when you really need to talk to someone you need them right then and I do always say please feel free to message me whenever. Sometimes I do procrastinate and not go to bed right away or sometimes I just get on my lunch break but I always try to check my messages and get back to you as soon as I see the message. If you want you can also send me asks or submit me something so I see it in my inbox. And if you are interested I always have twitter, snap and insta that you can message me on if you would like just let me know. Although I’m on tumblr all the time an I still haven’t added some of you on other socials yet. I’m sorry I am so bad and lazy and procrastinating is like the thing I’m so good at. I just don’t like going on Twitter or insta.

Anyway that was longer than expected but thank you all for being my friends. I love and appreciate every one of you and I always wish the best for you cause y’all deserve it! 💕💕💕💕

[anotherbeingsworld]

Late Nights, New Beginnings.

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x F!MC (Casey Valentine)

Word count: 2761

Summary: Bryce and Casey went out on a spontaneous night out to play bowling. 

Disclaimer: All right goes to PB, I dont own anything except the storyline! 

A/N: Hii! So, I am back with a new fic and I am pretty excited ! (Honestly, I said that for all my fics lol) This fic was inspired by @thundergom​ Open Heart AU! which all of you should check it out, IT IS AMAZING!!! The screenshot below was from one of the scenes in the AU, and they are kind enough to let me write a fic on this adorable scene of your MC (Camilla) and Bryce! I hope I did this fic justice, and I hope all of you enjoy reading it! I am a huge fan of bowling myself and, this has been a fun write! ENJOY! (CHECK IT OUT THEIR OH AU, COZ ITS SO GOOOOD!!!) 

Tags:  @bitchloveskcbaseball​ ​​ , @storyofmychoices​ ​​ , @jaxsmutsuo​ ​​ , @mvalentine​ ​​ , @princess-geek​ ​​ , @lahellacute​ ​​​ , @kacie-0156​ ​​​ , @simp-for-villains​ ​​​ , @annekebbphotography​ ​​​ , @brycelahel​ ​​​ , @mrsbhandari​ ​​​ , @dcbbw​ ​​​ , @choicessa​ ​​​ , @choices-confessions​ ​ , @aylamwrites​ ​​ , @fantasyoverreality98​ ​, @drakewalker04​ , @baltersome​ , @thecordoniandiaries​ , @thundergom​ 

LINK TO MY MASTERLIST

A  break-up. The major reason Casey is late for work the next day. Her hair was in a messy bun, as she didn’t have time to freshen up as she was late to arrive that day. She let out a groan as she changed into her scrubs, as the locker room was empty; a sign that she is in trouble. 

After struggling with wearing her scrubs, she dashed her way through to where interns are gathered. She stood at the back with Jackie, who looks at her with amusement. 

‘You had an long night, I presumed?’ She raised her eyebrows as Casey shook her head. 

‘Zack and I are through, we broke up last night.’ I admitted as the others started walking forward. She is feeling grateful that her patients weren’t the first to be picked for rounds that day.

‘That’s sucks, I’m sorry Cas.’ Jackie places her hands on Casey’s shoulder as an attempt at comfort. She just shrugged  as she proceeds on her work.

She went quiet for the rest of the day, as the break-up affected her work. She would often zone out, sometimes… she would get emotional over it. But she tries her very best to not cry it in front of her patients. One of her patients notice her expression and immediately asked if she was okay. Casey would just nod and brush the subject off, not wanting to get herself emotional; because once she gets into the story, the tears will never stop. 

Somehow, seeing and treating patients helps distract her from the actual world. Seeing those hopeful looks in the patient eyes makes her smile even wider. It's equivalent to a child on Christmas morning, and the gifts are equivalent to the happiness they get as the patients got to live a happy and healthy life. Casey always liked to help people, ever since she was a kid; she loved to make people happy. She felt blessed to witness the happiness from a patient being cured and even the people she gets to meet along the way. It is an amazing career in her eyes. 

But at this very moment… it exhausts her. After the break-up, she ended up hogging a whole tub of ice-cream before Sienna stops her. She didn’t get enough rest, as she spends the rest of the night bawling her eyes out, watching all the rom-coms as she yelled, ‘love isn’t real.’ She ended up passing out at five in the morning, making her late to work as she arrived later, which is unlikely for her. 

------------

Zack and Casey have been together since high school, as they were known as the high school sweethearts of Arella High. They were the ‘it’ couple at the time, but… as high school ends. They have been quarrels here and there between them, as they would get into an argument a lot. But, their relationship survive until last night, as he had brought a girl to the small apartment they shared. They were getting on each other’s faces, as Casey witness them after a long day of work. She felt hurt, but… deep down, she knows it is bound to happen. After the unwanted visitor left, the truth finally comes out. 

‘I have been seeing other people..’ 

Casey bits her lip. How long has he done this? 

‘How long?’

‘It has been… a few months, actually.’ He lets out a laugh as the surrounding atmosphere thickens. 

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ Casey felt her eyes started to tear up. She knows they have been little-in-love as before, but… the fact that he has already moved on. It was painful, as Casey keeps her head up, forcing herself to not cry in front of him. 

‘I was… waiting for the right time…’ his voice was quiet, as the darkness is taking over the dimmed room.

‘Let me go, Zack.’ Casey said with a slow tone in her voice after what felt like an eternity of silence. 

Zack’s eyes widen through the sentence, he turns to face her. 

‘But..’ He stutters as Casey cuts him.

‘No, just… let me go. I don’t want to pretend anymore.’ Her voice is sharp as it cuts the tense atmosphere around them. 

He nods slowly as Casey walks out of the door. Leaving him behind. Her heart is hurting since letting go was never easy. The feelings between them aren’t mutual anymore, but… seeing him already to moving on; her heart can't handle the pain. After leaving ‘their’ apartment, Casey crashes at her friend’s apartment, as she doesn’t have anywhere to sleep for the night. It was already late, as she occupied the empty room in the apartment. The room was furnished as Casey gets herself comfortable, as she ended up crying silently in the darkness, leaving nothing behind. 

------------

The memory stings as the tears ended up appearing once more as she lay on one of the beds in the on-call room. Her pager was quiet today, which she is silently grateful for since she is a mess. The door opens as Casey frantically wiped her tears away. 

‘Hey…’ His voice was heard, as her eyes perked up at the familiarity of the voice. 

She looked up, and saw Bryce took a seat on the edge of the bed. His eyes look concerned. Casey sat beside him, as he took her hand in his, as he lets out a squeeze.

‘Sienna told me you had a bad night, you okay?’ his voice is a concern, as Casey is wiping her tears away.

‘I am okay now, it's just… one of those things you know.’ She tried to shrug it off as Bryce didn’t buy any of it. 

Bryce leans forward as he wipes a few tears away that was visible. She felt her cheeks flustered by the action. 

‘I know just the thing to cheer you up.’ His mischievous smile appears from out of the blue.

‘Hm?’ Casey is deeply interested in the ways to cure a broken heart after a break-up.

‘It’s a surprise. Get ready after your shift is done, meet me at the entrance!’ Bryce said with a wink without revealing the plan. 

‘Fine, I will see you in approximately 7 hours at the entrance.’ Casey lets out a reply with a hint of sarcasm as Bryce lets out a chuckle. 

He stood up to leave, as Casey took a hold of his wrist.

‘Thank you for stopping by.’ The smile on her face looked genuine, making him happy.

‘Anytime.’ He places a kiss on her knuckles before he left the room. A smile was present on her face, as she feels excited for what he has in mind. 

------------------

After her shift is over, she changed into something more comfortable as she felt very excited about what Bryce has planned. As she was making her way to meet him, her mind wonders about him. He is Bryce Lahela, and he has been there for her since the very beginning. She never gets herself too close to people as she was with Zack at the moment, but… there is something about him that made her heart happy. 

He has the looks, and the hair was a bonus. But his heart was something else. He often thought he would be another frat guy who needs his ego to be stroke every minute. He is different, a good type of different. She remembers the first time he comforted her as always, he has been there from the very beginning. His arms around her, comforting her and support, was something she never expected to see from him. The thought of him is giving her butterflies, as she tried to erase the feeling away. She just broke up. She wasn’t supposed to feel that way. But her inner self was telling her the opposite. 

Her eyes lit up at the sight of him, waiting for her at the entrance. Casey quickens her steps as they leave the hospital, going to wherever Bryce had planned for them. 

The walk was quick, as they stopped in front of a rusty old building making her question his intentions to butchered her in an abandoned warehouse as he passes her organs to the wolves. She shakes her head, clearing her thoughts as Bryce leads her inside. The neon lights took her breath away as the sound of pins falling brought her back to reality. 

‘Where did you found this place?’ Casey said with awe as her eyes gaze upon the place. There were neon lights as far as she could go. The place is a neon wonderland for bowlers, as they made their way to the counter. 

‘I heard some doctors have been talking about it, as they called it a ‘hip’ spots in Boston.’ Bryce replies happily as he paid for their shoes and games.

‘Let me pay for it, Bryce.’ She was about to take out her purse before he stops her.

‘It's okay, tonight is my treat. Consider it a gift.’ Bryce said with a sly smile on his face, as Casey gives in.

‘But, I’ll be buying the food.’ She pointed out as Bryce laughs away, nodding along.

‘Fine. Now, let’s bowl!’  They took their shoes with a full enthusiasm as they make their way to their lane.

They were at lane #7, Casey immediately changed into their specialized shoes as Bryce inputs their name into the system. After a few moments, it is done. They are ready to bowl. 

The place was so beautiful that it distracts her from the game. Casey was about to bowl before Bryce called her,

‘I have an idea, the winner buys us a pizza?’ He smirked at the idea, as Casey smiled evilly.

‘You have come to the master territory, young child.’ Casey winks before she bowls, earning a perfect strike. 

‘Holy sm-‘ He was cut off by a group of high school students looking at them with an eyebrow raised. 

‘Is that all you got?’ The boy said as he observes Casey’s technique.

‘That was a lucky shot, girly. Here let me show you how it's done.’ A brunette stepped forward with a ball as she earned a strike. 

Casey lets out a scoff, 

‘That doesn’t mean its right for you to crash our game.’ 

They looked at her, and laugh with a mocking tone. 

‘Listen, let's do this the right way, shall we? If we lose, you will never see us again… but if we win. You will pay for our food for tonight, because I think both of us wanted to have a huge celebratory feast when we win. Right Cas?’ He turns to her, as Casey nods with full determination. 

The boy looks challenged as he and his friends get themselves ready to battle it out. Casey and Bryce look determined as they are ready to fight them.

------------------ ‘

It was their last game, as they were five points away from beating their opponents. It was 250 and 255 on the scoreboard as the boy is making his last throw. He manages to knock six out of the pins. Casey felt herself let out a small sigh of relief, but.. the nerves were still there. If they got a spare, their team would win. Casey is hoping silently, praying that they win. 

The ball is slowly rolling down the lane, as time was drifting. The nerves inside of her are growing as the ball hits the pins, and….

IT’S A SPLIT. 

Casey almost cheered as they saw their opponents final score to be 261. Bryce was smiling from ear-to-ear as they have a chance to win it all. It was Casey’s turn to bowl. She makes her way to her ball. Her hands were chilly from the nerves she was getting. She took a deep breath, as Bryce took a candid pic of her from behind before cheering her on. She lets the ball go, as both teams were focused on it. 

Casey held her hand covering her eyes, as the ball rolls on the smooth tiles. It was until she heard the pins dropped as she opened her eyes. 

Bryce coming from behind with enormous smiles as she scored a STRIKE! They heard the utter disappointment from the opposite team. But… none of it matters at the moment. Her eyes were gazing into his, as the world around them fades away. Casey felt herself feeling happy and free for the first time that day. She doesn’t know it is from the adrenaline or the happiness she felt with him.. but at that moment. Everything felt right as she leaned forward, as their lips meet.

Bryce returned the favor as they kissed for a few moments before letting go. Somehow, it felt like she was in a movie where they finally won the ultimate battle and it was the victory kiss where it was framed in those vintage portraits. After they pulled away, there was a bit of fear in her; the fear of not knowing what happens next. She looked at him with new happiness in her. As he returns the smile with a knowing smile of his own. 

‘We win!’ Both of them cheered as their opponents who look sad, as both of them made their way to the group.

‘We will pay for your food, don’t worry!’ The boy said defensively, as he was about to make his way to the café. 

Bryce looks at them with a sincere look on his face, 

‘It’s okay kid, you don’t have to do it.’ He places his hands on the boy’s shoulder as the boy look at him in disbelief. 

‘Are you sure?’ 

Bryce nods as he pats the kid on the back. 

‘It’s okay, in fact; it’s on me tonight.’ He said as the cheers erupt from the back, as Casey looked at him with a smile on her face.

‘You are something else’ She said as she placed a kiss on his cheek before they order the food for their ‘so-called’ opponents. 

‘Something good, I hope?’ He asked from the smiles , as she winks at him.

‘A woman never tells.’ Before they proceed on ordering the food. 

----------------

They bought a huge order as the group ate happily. After the food is done, the boy from earlier approaches him. 

Bryce raised an eyebrow at his presence, 

‘I just want to say I’m sorry, I didn’t mean any of that…’ The boy said with a sad tone, as Bryce just nods accepting the  apology. 

‘It’s okay kid, I enjoyed the game.’ 

'Are you sure? I can be full of myself and... it’s a bad habit of mine; not wanting to see anybody is better than me. ' The boy explains as Bryce turns to face him.

'I am sure, but.... next time, try to tone it down okay? I think your parents won't appreciate that you have been disturbing their customers.' He raised an eyebrow as the boy looked down on his feet; regret was seen on his face. Bryce pats his back and said.

'Bad habits seem to follow us anywhere but with the good people in life; it can get better.' He spoke up as his eyes fall on Casey who is chatting it down with the others. 

The boy followed his glance, and a smile appears on his face.

‘You love her, don’t you?’ He said as Bryce just laugh it off. 

‘Love is a huge word kid, but… there is no other word that could explain how I feel about her.’ His eyes never leaving her. 

‘Well, from the looks of it. She seems to be very lucky to have you.’ He said as he walks away to join the others. 

A moment later, he came back holding a small Polaroid which made him crossed out the source from an unknown flash from somewhere. Bryce took it in his hands, of her and Casey’s moment a few minutes ago. A smile curled upon his lips at the sight of the memory.

‘My mom told me the reason they built this place is for people to make new memories, and I think this one is for you.’ The boy said happily as Bryce held it in his hands.

‘It’s the very first of many.’ He replied with hope in his voice for many adventures to come with the one Casey Valentine.

Her eyes caught his as she showcased an enormous grin on her face. At that moment, she was ready for new beginnings. The first of everything with one Bryce Lahela.

THE END. 

A/N #2: Hii! Thank you so much for reading it and, I hope all of you enjoyed it! And, @thundergom​ I HOPE I DID JUSTICE TO YOUR AU!!! Have an awesome day/night everyone! 💖💖- A.

[toziers]

can you explain what's going on right now? i keep seeing big IT blogs talking about some discourse or something but i have no idea what they're talking about other than it involves you lol

alright i like. i truly do not like having diScOurSE out in public because i’m not one to air out my dirty laundry 24/7 but seeing as how it was brought into public against my will i feel like the least i can do is clear up the situation for those who’ve been seeing the posts. 

i’m putting this under the cut bc it’s long. tws for some biphobia, brief mention of transphobia and, at the end, a rape mention. 

so if you don’t know: hi, i’m migz, i’m an it fandom blogger. its okay, i know, its really cool. part of my shtick here is that i like to turn normal thirst tags into works of art for the sake of comedy. perhaps you’ve seen some of my highlights from my “fhg” tag - perhaps your brain has been spared. either way, it became kind of “my thing” around the third or fourth week (mid nov) of me having this blog. at first, i tagged just about every ask i got mentioning the thirst tags with “bill hader” - they had to do with him, so why not tag him? it would draw more like minded people! about two days into that i got a message asking me to tag my nsfw. i am a big dumb idiot, and apologize for not initially doing it. i havent had a following bigger than like 10 in several years and completely spaced on basic etiquette. so by the end of november i was tagging everything applicable  with “notsfw” and “bill hader”. 

now you’re caught up.

on december 1st i got this message from user billhaderanti:

now i want to start by saying i absolutely was in the wrong here. i didn’t even think about how many people were being subjected to the asks i was getting - especially ones who had no idea they were all jokes. i don’t track the bill hader tag, so it just didn’t even occur to me - that’s ignorance on my part, and to anyone who was subjected to the terrors of me before my tagging system: i am genuinely sorry. i relay the same sentiment in my response, though you can tell i’m on edge.

and they replied:

clearly they Were offended by it but thats.. not the point. at this point, im feeling Really weird about the whole interaction, but still understanding, because again - i GET it. i know my posts are gross - that’s the point. it doesn’t make it excusable, though, which is why i understand why people are offended. so i responded with the only solution i Knew would keep us both safe and happy posting on our own blogs. 

so i thought this would be the end of things! i’d been pretty anxious lately already since i’d started to receive anons telling me i was gross and whore-ish for thirst posting in this way (i delete all of those, so if ur thinking about sending one, i guess no one’s stopping you but it won’t be seeing the light of the dashboard). i’m unsure if it was immediately or a few hours later, seeing as how i have a bad concept of time and the post-dates are right on the edge between nov 30 and dec 1, but i went to their blog - because anyone who has been on the internet knows the opportunity to vague post is near irresistible. and...what do ya know

fair! it’s their blog. however i am an emotionally fragile egg girl and immediately got freaked out. the odds that they were the only one who thought this were low. and, again, i’ve been very open on my blog about how important it is to respect boundaries; my posts are absolutely prone to breaking those boundaries people have created for themselves. 

so i made my own, semi-vague post, letting my following know (and i’m pretty sure i’d answered asks about it before, but this is going to be long enough w/o me searching those up too) that i understood if they wanted to block me or unfollow or whatever - people need to create their own safe spaces. the tension is pretty clear in the tags, i’m not trying to hide that. i felt that the way this woman slid into my dm’s was pretty abrasive (just my opinion/how it made me personally feel) and i let myself be a lil emotional about it in the tags of my post.

alright! maybe this is the end. maybe we both go our separate ways and post happily on our own blogs... except it’s not the end. later in the day (some of this was happening like 1/2am, so now its Day day, i believe - again, not good w time passage lol)

clearly, i’m upset. my groupchat double checked that i didn’t get too emotional in my response - did i mention im anxious about discourse lol - and apparently.. it did the trick. she didn’t message me again. great. it was over. 

at this point, i decided i needed to make an even bigger change. so a few days after i’d calmed down i created an entirely new tag for my thirst posts so if people hadn’t already hidden the notsfw posts or just blocked me outright, they’d have a third option to escape the madness. at this point, id had my blog about 6? weeks, but there were still 2k posts for me to sift through - some of them were completely untagged. i also had to do it post by post, because one of xkits features - the mass re-tagger - was getting blogs deleted for some reason, and i wasn’t going to do that. so i spent a few days going through all 2k+ posts, adding the “fhg” tag. 

YEEHAW! a brand new tagging system, no more hopping into the bill hader tag (minus one or two really funny, not super explicit asks, like the bill hader farquaad meme), and, tbf, i’d completely put this woman out of my mind. i don’t seek out drama and do my best to stay in my lane. yesterday, i checked my activity for the first time in awhile since id put out a couple new original posts that had started to get traction and i Love reading tags. i noticed a mutual had @’d me, and realized i havent checked my @’s in...ever, maybe. i see a post from my good pal billhaderanti. 

since i dont follow them and never check my @’s, i’d completely missed it. however, once i did see it, i was horrified. id gone through all that fucking work to keep my blog My Blog and also respect everyone’s boundaries and it still hadn’t been enough. i’d been awake for almost 24 hours and went. a little crazy. and i didn’t reply immediately because i just had no words. i sent it to my friends because i... i just wasn’t going to be able to figure it out myself. 

there’s a lot to unpack in this post alone, but whatever, i’m gonna put my own grievances with the immaturity of 1. making a callout post to begin with when i’d been nothing but civil 2. making a callout post about something as (in the grand scheme of Life) minor as some tags where i refer to a someone’s genitals as a “whack pack” and 3. making a callout post in such a rude way - aside. at the end, she calls me (and whoever else!) a demonic mlw (man loving woman, we assumed, and then later confirmed with a post further back on her blog). 

which - yeah, we started scrolling. at first we were looking for more vague blogs, and then we just...started finding things. billhaderanti is a self proclaimed lesbian separatist, which... fine. but it’s already pretty clear that this woman hates me on some level simply because i am a bi woman (demonic mlw, remember!) which is just. damn man i can’t believe we are still fighting the biphobic fight lol. so the more we scrolled, the more we uncovered - and not just the biphobic / vaguely mtf transphobic things they posted (or put in tags), but we also found that they had their OWN thirst tags. certainly not as hyperbolically comedic as mine, but they were there, talking about his body and his person the same (and, frankly, a bit creepier for other reasons) as mine. 

there’s one post in particular that snatched my wig in it’s creepiness - and i say creepiness in the sense that it feels personal. like this woman feels like she knows bill to some degree where she can say these things. my tags have always had a sense of distance, as they’re written for humor. and maybe this particular post was written for comedic purposes, but it doesn’t read that way, and if it WAS, then she has no right to call ME out for MY comic tags and posts. 

i’ll let it speak for itself, mostly because i don’t want to read it again. 

i also won’t be going through her blog again to find the posts with biphobic and other Interesting:tm: tags because there are plenty and i just really! want to be done with the whole ordeal! her blog is public and i’m sure you can all find it and look to your heart’s content. 

feeling a bit feral and a bit pissed off now that we knew the depth of how rotten this woman’s vibes were, a couple of my pals made a post or two similar to what my tag’s are like except turned up to eleven (if possible) - and tagged them with “bill hader” (and notsfw!!). yes, a bit childish, but at this point, the entire situation was childish, and making jokes was truly the only way we were going to get through it. another vague post went up on her blog soon after.

talking down to us, calling us children, and then for whatever reason calling us virgins... whatever, weird post. around this time most of us (est) went to bed, because it was nearing 3 or 4 in the morning. 

and then today happened. i woke up fresh and ready for the day after a wonderful 4 hours of sleep and found that jane had made an incredibly intelligent post in response to the situation. i won’t ss it, but i’ll LINK in case you missed it. attached there in the reblog is my own response. i think they can speak for themselves. 

after that, things were kind of jumbled, since i wasn’t online a lot and when i was i was Not checking my activity simply because i was afraid of what i’d see. for the most part, it ended up just being support (which i am very grateful to all of you for - it means a lot that you all enjoy my content to any degree). 

there was some more vague posting from both “““““sides”””””” of the “““““argument”””””” - mostly just people restating the fact that this is a public space and we should All be aware of how we effect others. i still hadn’t heard directly from billhaderanti, so i assumed we’d all be dropping and disengaging and moving on. i still wasn’t blocked, though, so who really knew what would happen. 

eventually, it culminated in this last post. tw for mentions of rape

i’m going to start by saying that 

1. there are nearly no teenagers that were involved in this. im turning 23 in january and most of my friends are 20+. maybe one or two are 19. 

2. none of us sent any sexually violent asks - most of us didn’t send asks at all. i believe one or two of my friends admitted to sending asks however they assured me their nature wasn’t bad; as far as i know, everyone remained civil in whatever went on (again, unclear to me as to what was being sent; no one was actively posting or talking about it. if billhaderanti wishes to elaborate, they can, but i don’t have anything to put in). 

3. before i finish this, i would like to apologize to billhaderanti. as a comedian - not just my stupid tags, i mean in real life, too - i know that humor can hurt. it’s not always funny, it’s not just stupid hahas. sometimes things that are supposed to be jokes just hit people differently and cause bad things. i recognize that. i never meant to trigger you (if you’re reading this) or cause you any severe mental/emotional harm. i apologize for my humor bringing up your trauma, and i never meant for that. regardless of my own thoughts and opinions about the nature of my posts/the thirst tags themselves, they hurt you, and i’m sorry. 

anyway, i’m going to wrap this up (i’m bad at endings, what can i say! steven king and i took the same writer’s class!). if you read all this... sorry. i probably won’t be taking any asks about it, because i find the whole “drama” of this to be stupid and rooted in some seriously biphobic issues this fully grown woman has. 

tldr; i attempted to contain my blog so this woman could exist and function safely on her blog, but it wasn’t enough for her, so she called me out, and then some of the fandom called Her out for being biphobic and mean and overall just immature about the situation. as of now, she’s yet to block me, though her and her wife have blocked a few of my friends. her wife continues to clown on my friends. this post was made for clarity’s sake. the end, i’m getting a drink. 

[peterpumpkinparker]

Dropping By- Peter Parker/Spiderman Oneshot

Hi guys! I know its been awhile and wow Ive missed this blog-hopefully this makes up for the 3 months of ghosting <3 Word Count: 800+ Genre: Fluff! Warnings: None!

You stared at your complexion in mirror, not truly happy with the person staring back. Did your hair look fine? Did you look under dressed? Over dressed? Was your makeup too much? Too little? Your head swirled with these unanswered question. You knew know matter how hard you tried, you weren't going to look perfect on this first date.

Peter Parker, your crush since you walked into his chem class and fate graciously put your seat next to his. Your crush since he helped you study for chem after your grades started to slip. Your crush after you realized he was the Spiderman. Your crush after 4 months of pining for him, had asked you out. You thought it was a miracle, but really, everyone knew it was meant to be- and by everyone, Ned and MJ. But he had asked you out to dinner, at some new Italian restaurant, and you calmly said yes even though you wanted to scream.

You smiled at yourself in the mirror, letting the happy memory wash of that day over you like sunlight in summer. You weren't sure you were ready for this date- the butterflies you had were practically eating your stomach from the inside out- but you weren't going to back out now.

You walked down to the living room, hearing your parents in the kitchen. It was almost a half an hour to your date- and you were hoping to give a pep talk to your parents to not make things awkward between you or Peter by asking embarrassing questions. But, to your confusion, your parents looked like they were leaving- when they specifically said they would be home.

“Whatcha guys doing?” you asked casually, cautiously watching your mom pack makeup into her purse.

“Oh, y/n, you look so nice,” your mom complimented, her voice leaving a trace of guilt.

You grabbed a water from the fridge, your hand shaking from nerves.

“Are you going somewhere?” you asked before gulping down water.

Your dad sighed, giving your mom a sidelong look. “Y/n, were sorry, but you cant go on your date tonight.”

You felt your heart drop down to your stomach as shock filled your system. Almost choking on water, your voice cried out, “Why?!”

Your mom gave you a sad look, explaining,” Your father forgot he had a company get together tonight, and he promised he would be there, and he can only get in with a plus one.”

“Its required I have a partner with me to get in,” your dad further explained, “some fancy restaurant or something like that- I know it sounds stupid,” he added, seeing your clearly reproached face, “but your mother and I have to go. And you have to hold down the fort while were gone”

You looked between your parents, hoping for a crack in their faces, a way to wiggle in and get what you both want, but there was no way in.

“So- no date?” you asked helplessly.

“Im sorry, y/n, but- no date.” you mother answered, her voice stern but sympathetic.

You sighed, filling your disappointment replace the excitement. “Guess I'll go call Peter.”

“Alright,” your father called out from the front door, “tell him were very sorry- we'll be back around 9!”

Your mother gave you a quick hug, and after your good byes and the slam of the door, the emptiness of the house made you somehow sadder than before. You didnt want to call him- the dread of letting him down, or him thinking your backing out made you feel guilty. But you found yourself finding his number in your phone, and clicking the call button, the ringing sound making you chew on your nails from nerves.

Peter picked up surprisingly quickly, making the butterflies come back from the sound of his hello.

“Hey Peter,” you sighed, dreading to tell him the news.

“Hey y/n!” he said rushed, as if he had been running for a while, the sound of wind making his voice sound fuzzy. “Im almost there, dont worry, I just gotta couple blocks to go-”

“Are you being Spiderman right now?” you asked, a smile sneaking onto your lips.

“Uhhhh-why you ask that?”

“Cause- I can hear Karen through the phone,” you stated with a smirk, waiting for his reaction.

“Crap!”you heard him curse, making you laugh even though the guilt was eating in your stomach.

“Yeah… I am,” he admitted, “but Im gonna change in the alleyway next to your house- so your parents wont think Im some crazy person when I come to pick up.”

You sighed, burshing your hair to the side. “Peter- Im so sorry to say this, but- you cant come over.”

“Wait- whats wrong y/n?” he asked, hurt in his voice, making your heart ache.

“Nothing, its just, my parents have some stupid company party to go to, and they need me to “hold down the fort”, you said with air quptes, not remembering Peter couldnt see them, “so- the dates cancelled.”

“I really was excited, Pete, I was,” you put in after, rushing your words to hopefully fix any wound you caused him.

“Me too,” he replied after a small silence, his voice smaller than usual.

‘Next week,maybe?!” You hated hearing him sound dejected, so to compensate, you tried to make your voice sound hopeful.

“Kay?” you asked him, hoping he would forgive you for doing this to him.

“Kay,” he repeated, his voice still sounding as if you just dumped him.

“Im so sorry about this Pete.”

“Its not your fault- Ill see you later, I guess. Night y/n.”

“Night.”

You sighed, laying on your bed, hoping the tears trying to crawl up would go away.

“Well,” you concluded to the ceiling, “that didnt go as well as I hoped.”

With no plans for the night, you decided to just do what you usually do on a normal night- blast music and try to do some homework. The night was just about to come, twilight coloring  your room with a burst of golden hues. It was beautiful, you had to admit, and again you felt a pang of longing to be with Peter

.It had been an hour of lonely listening to your depressing playlist of sad songs when a sudden knock was heard on your window. You jumped, a scream escaping your mouth as you instantly turned off your playlist.

You craned your head at the window pane, trying to see who the intruder was, but only a pink and orange sky greeted you. You stepped off your bed gingerly, and as you opened the window to investigate the strange sound-Out of nowhere, a red object whipped out from above the window, making you scream until you realized who it was.

“What the hell!?” you yelled, laughing off the fright.

“Im sorry, Im sorry!” Peter unhinged himself from his upside down position, the piece of webbing flying away in the breeze as his feet made contact with your small terrace.

You smiled, nervousness attacking your stomach. “Its okay,” you asked after brushing your hair out of your face- “why are you hear?”

You watched Peter shuffle a little with his feet, his broad shoulders blocking your sight of the railing of the terrace.

“Well, I felt bad that we couldnt- ya know, go out or anything-” he fumbled, “so….” He took a pause, looking at you so intently with those bug eyes on his red mask you felt a little unnerved- like he was staring right into you.

“Uh-Why dont you just close your eyes,” He finally said, the nervousness coming through in his voice. You were confused, so you took his outstretched hand with a suspicious smirk, and you laughed at the ticklish feeling his hand left on yours as he led you out your window.

“Okay, “ he counted, “one..two...three.”

You opened your eyes, and when you did, you were met with the sight of a mini picnic, complete with even a little bouquet of flowers with your favorite Italian food laid out on take out plates. It was the cutest thing you had ever seen, and you didnt know how to react to such a sweet gesture.

You stared at it, shocked- how could you be with someone so sweet and caring?

“I mean, its not much-” he began to ramble as if he was embarrassed about the cheesiness of it, “but I figured since you would be home you might want to hang out here- its okay if you dont but I just  thought maybe Id come hang out with you instead of going somewhere so I picked up the food I hope you like the flowers some lady sold them to me on the-”

You laughed, kissing his cheek to make him stop- you knew if you didnt do something, anything, hed probably go on that nervous rant for hours.

“Its perfect.” You smiled at him, happiness filling up in your eyes.

Peter felt relief envelope his body. He wished he wasn't so awkward around you, but you didnt care if he rambled, or accidentally scare you half to death. You were so sweet and funny and new him so well and man, you looked so pretty at this time of day, he wish he could take a picture of you and keep it forever. He sighed, relishing the feeling of your hand in his.

“Wait-” you interrupted his thoughts, “how are you gonna eat?” You pointed at the obvious mask covering his face.

“Oh!” He thought, feeling dumb for not thinking of that and maybe changing before he decided to knock on your window.

He quickly fumbled with his mask, bringing it above his nose so all you could see was a wide grin.

“Better?” he asked.

“Much better,” you smiled, and kissing his  cheeck again you yelled: “Lets eat!”

I hope you guys liked this! I havet been active (like at all) so I hope this makes it up! :)

Taggings:

@fratboievans @grandmascottlang @galaxy-parker @hollandroos @honeymoonparker @hazsterfield @itsholyholland @naturallytom @starksparker @underoosstark @uglypastels @underoos-shield @petersshirts @revengingbarnes @th3n3rdyon3 @just4muggles

[larissaloki]

sharing is caring 3

shoutout to my beta who i wont name incase they dont want me to! 

@schwergaeneuser @msmynx @im-tops-bottom @jacksonfrost24 @seven-oomen @el-rezet @thoughtfulbreadpolice @cwar1864 @starsofyggdrasil you guys all asked to be tagged in future chapters and here you go! sorry for the long ass wait! 

Groaning, Tony opened his dark, whisky brown eyes that look up at a thankfully darkened ceiling. Soothing low lights illuminate the area but aren’t enough to hurt his eyes, allowing him to get awareness slowly and at his own pace. Whoever had the foresight to dim the lights, he will send them a massive fruit basket to show his appreciation.  

Turning his head to the side, Tony takes in more of his surroundings as he tries to figure out what on earth happened, and just where the hell he is. 

To his surprise, Tony can see what looks like a lab beyond the area he is in. While he looks, a Wakandan in a lab coat strolls by, talking to their…wrist? Confused, Tony winces as he slowly sits up, rubbing at his chest and arm as he feels his limbs protest the movement.  

Setting his feet onto the floor, he notes that his clothes from earlier, the ones he recalls wearing on his flight, have been replaced by a dark blue tunic with black, very loose linen trousers. Both are far more comfortable than they should be, and Tony wondered if they would let him keep the clothes if he asked nicely. 

“I see you are finally awake,” 

Jumping (and no he did not scream!) and craning his neck to look over his shoulder, Tony spots Shuri; recongising her from their video calls from before. 

“What happened? Last thing I remember was being on the plane…” 

Playing with the beads on her wrist, Shuri walked around the table to stand in front of the elder Omega, smiling at him, though in her eyes Tony can see a cheeky glint. An easy to miss look that makes Tony think of Peter. 

“How are you feeling? M’Baku found you in a pool of mud and water. Very lucky you were here in Wakanda when the accident occurred. Anywhere else and you would still be bruised and broken.” 

“Whoa wait, how long has it been since you guys found me?” 

Brow furrowing in confusion yet intrigue, Tony tries to stand and is happy to find that he can do so perfectly, even if he is a little groggy still. 

“Oh, about 3 hours? I’ve been improving our healing system lately!” 

Smiling brightly and obviously proud of herself, Shuri helped him move away from the table and slowly led him to a lab chair. She offered him a drink of water which Tony gratefully accepted, downing it as fast as he could without making himself sick. Putting the cup down and breathing heavily, Tony’s eyes widened in shock and no small amount of awe. 

“Three hours?!” 

Damn Wakanda really is superior huh? Tony shook his head and tucked away his questions for another time, though he would love nothing more right now than to take a look at the system Shuri was using and learn how it all works. Tony quickly brought his focus back to the main issue. 

“Does anyone know what exactly happened? What caused the accident?” 

Sitting down near him, Shuri gave him her full attention. 

“I just checked in with T’Challa before you woke up. The are looking through the ruins as we speak and T’Challa said he is cataloguing everything they find and if they spot anything weird, they will let you look over it. I also have scanning equipment to look for any electrical faults or tampering” 

Rubbing his forehead, Tony sighed heavily as he tried to think of anything that could have gone wrong. The aircraft was one that he’d built and put together mostly by himself, anything he hadn’t done himself he had Friday overlook and monitor. However, if its not the actual craft that was compromised, then that leaves the horrible option that someone had snuck something onto the plane without Tony or Friday realizing. And that honestly frightens him far more. 

From the grim look that Shuri is giving him, she knows exactly what he’s thinking. 

“Thank you Shuri, for healing me and to your brother for looking over the plane for me,” 

Waving away his thanks Shuri grins at him, her upbeat personality coming back through. “Don’t thank me, I kinda wanted an excuse to show off something to you” 

Giving her a grin of his own Tony looks back over to the area he had just been laying in. 

“I am thoroughly impressed already and cannot wait to see more inventions from you”  

Bouncing in her seat, her body practically vibrating in excitement, Shuri grabs his arm to pull him up as she stands. “let’s start the tour!” 

Without waiting for Tony to reply, Shuri drags him off to show him around her lab, introducing him to the various scientist that are currently working on one project or another. Tony loved the moving black model pedestal. The black matter moving fluidly to bring up whatever is needed, be it floor plans or models of objects. Essentially a much better version of a hologram.  

When Shuri showed him the bigger version in the middle of the floor that allows her to remotely drive a vehicle from the lab, Tony lost it and insisted on her giving him a demo of it. Like children in a toy shop, they got stuck into their own little world. 

They were so engrossed in what they where doing that they completely missed M’Baku entering with Bucky following behind, carrying a tray of food for Shuri and Tony. The duo had intercepted the original person carrying it and insisted on delivering it themselves. M’Baku brought them to a stop a few feet away, watching the now healed Stark chat away with the younger genius. 

Bucky stood a little bit awkwardly behind M’Baku, as the last time he and Stark had met face to face…bad shit happened. He didn’t want to hurt Stark, the poor omega had been hurt enough as it is; yet his concern had won out and convinced him to keep checking on Stark’s progress as he healed. M’Baku was much bolder than him though. 

They watched for a while longer as the two geniuses spoke at the speed of light, Tony screaming and eagerly testing out each invention. Firing questions and saying words that M’Baku could not keep up with nor hope to understand. Amused, M’Baku makes his way closer calling out in a sudden booming voice to catch their attention. 

“Food! That is if you two can drag yourselves away from the toys long enough to eat it,” Smirking when Tony and Shuri jump, M’Baku helps Bucky put the food on a near by counter for them. 

Rolling her eyes, Shuri gets up and helps tony before deactivating the invention they were playing with. 

“How did you get in? I thought I banned you after the 5 times you guys asking if Tony was better?” 

Looking over the plates, Shuri oohs at the variety of foods that had been prepared for them, many of which would be easier for Tony to eat if he was still feeling a little off. Behind her, Tony catches sight of Barnes and pauses briefly as he takes everything in. 

Barnes looks hopelessly nervous and scared stood behind the larger Wakandan, the red robe like clothing actually looks good on him, the blue sling around the stump where his arm used to be is done in a tasteful manner which doesn’t drag your attention overly to it. Hell, Tony can even admit that Barnes looks healthier overall, his hair looks fluffy and is longer, a small portion pulled back into a bun. Tony is not afraid to admit that Barnes looks handsome. 

Wakanda obviously agrees with him. 

“You look good Barnes” 

Freezing slightly, Bucky looks up at Tony in surprise that Tony is actually acknowledging him. Nodding his head slowly and drawing himself up to stand a bit straighter, Bucky gives Tony a small, soft and shy smile. 

“So do you” 

Huffing in amusement, Tony plucks up from fruit to eat to keep his hands and mouth busy as he feels an uncharacteristic shyness overtake him. 

“Thanks, considering I was a wreck 3 hours ago, I take that as a big compliment” 

Between them, M’Baku looks between them with growing glee at how adorably shy these two are. Yes, he knows that things were not that great between these two not so long ago, but it seems to be fixable judging by what he’s just seen. Deciding to think more on this later; and possibly make a plan to help these two fix the gap between them. M’Baku pulls out a bottle of juice that his tribe had made themselves. 

“I brought this as well, it’s meant to help with any aches. Would you like to try some?” 

Humming in thought, Tony looks the larger Alpha up and down in a considering manner. Growing up rich, Tony had gotten used to expecting many Alphas having a motive behind many of their actions. Some more sinister than others. However, this alpha seems genuine enough.  

“Sure! As they say, when in Rome do as Roman’s do huh?” Tony flashes M’Baku his most harmless yet charming smile. 

Oh, M’Baku thinks, I’m in trouble. 

[metaphorical-love-for-a-car]

Marry You-- Joe Mazzello x Reader

Request; “How about a joe mazzello based on the song marry you by Bruno  Mars? Idk” ( @hi-i-dont-know )

Warnings; some language, the song is fem! specific but the story itself isn’t

Word Count; 1.8k

Notes; sorry it's taken me so long to get around to this lol

You couldn’t believe it. You had worked so hard for so long, and you finally did it. Here you were, standing on a stage, accepting an award at a prestigious ceremony. People were clapping, and cameras were everywhere. Never in a million years did you expect this to happen. 

You stuttered through your acceptance speech before scurrying back to your seat. The rest of the awards ceremony seemed to go by in a haze as you continued to try to wrap your mind around the evening. You were in desperate need of a drink, and the after party couldn’t come soon enough.

Dozens of people came up to congratulate you, and you only recognized about half of them. You quickly gulped down your drinks in an attempt to make yourself calm down. It wasn’t the wisest idea, but it was all you could do besides leaving the party, which you obviously didn’t want to do. You were tipsy, borderline drunk, and still feeling overwhelmed. That’s when he decided to approach you. The last thing you needed was your childhood celebrity crush to show up, but that’s exactly what happened.

Your first introduction to Joe Mazzello was when you watched Radio Flyer shortly after it came out, then you saw him again in Jurassic Park. Your younger self thought he was cute, thus your childhood crush formed. As years went on and the two of you started to become more successful in the world of entertainment, you had met each other once or twice, but it was always in passing. Neither of you really spoke to each other much. The most interaction the two of you had was via social media, occasionally liking each other’s posts. 

Needless to say, you were worried about embarrassing yourself because you had too much alcohol in your system for your mind to properly function, and it didn’t help that you continued to drink. “I’m sure you’re going to be sick of hearing this by the end of the night, but congratulations!” Joe flashed you a bright smile. You laughed before thanking him. “Mind if I sit?” He nodded his head towards the empty stool next to yours. You shook your head.

“No, not at all!” Joe sat, and the two of you chatted about basic stuff, like ‘Have you tried the shrimp? It’s pretty good!’ or ‘I’ve been going ninety-to-nothing tonight and can’t wait to finally get home.’ You normally felt awkward during small talk, but this was nice. Maybe it was just the alcohol that was making this feel so comfortable. Maybe it was just his charming personality. Either way, you didn’t care. You were enjoying it. 

“Hope I’m not bothering you. I’m sure a ton of other people would like to talk to you.” You scoffed at Joe’s comment and dramatically rolled your eyes.

“Oh, please! I’m having way more fun talking to you than I would have if I were talking to some of them. Besides, it’s not every day that you get to hang out with your age-old celebrity crush.” You brought your glass to your lips and froze. Did you seriously just say that out loud? No, surely not. You weren’t that drunk, right? You slowly lowered the glass, glancing over at Joe. Shit. You did say it out loud. His mouth was open, looking shocked. And his cheeks were red. 

“You... wait. I’m your celebrity crush?” You felt the heat rising to your face and nodded. He ran a hand through his hair. “No fucking way. This is crazy. You’ve been my celebrity crush since we first met at that movie premiere a few years ago,” Joe said enthusiastically, very much resembling a child telling their friends about the cool toy they got for Christmas. You covered your mouth in an attempt to stifle your laughter. Joe’s brows knitted together, but his goofy grin remained. “I’m serious!” 

“This is too good to be true. It sounds like something out of a fanfiction book on Wattpad or Tumblr.” Joe laughed, stating his agreement. He suddenly grabbed your hand. His eyes were wide and mischief danced across his features.

“I’ve got an awesome idea, and it’ll really make life like a fanfic.” You pursed your lips, eyeing him suspiciously.

“What’re you planning, Joe?” 

“It’s a surprise! Now, where’s the closest Walmart?”

Who cares if we're trashed Got a pocket full of cash we can blow Shots of Patron And it's on girl

The two of you managed to find an Uber at the ungodly hour of the morning it was. People gave you odd looks when you first walked into the store. Some because they recognized the two of you, and some because you were both in incredibly formal attire... while drunk shopping in Walmart. You headed straight towards the candy, and Joe disappeared. As you were paying for the mountain of candy in your arms, you felt someone tap on your shoulder. It was Joe, nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “You okay?” you snickered, grabbing the plastic bag from the worker before thanking her. 

'Cause it's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you Is it the look in your eyes or is it this dancing juice Who cares baby, I think I wanna marry you

“Actually, there’s something important I want to ask you.” You raised a brow at him, and he took a deep breath. When Joe got down on one knee, your jaw dropped. He pulled out a ring that had a little silver frog on top, its back made of a green gem. “Let’s continue with the fanfiction themed night, shall we?” You laughed, nodding. Joe beamed up at you and slid the ring onto your finger.

“Is this actually happening right now?” you asked in between laughs. Joe shrugged. 

“Dunno. That sounds like something for our sober selves to figure out. Wanna check out the Redbox movies?”

I'll go get a ring Let the choir bell sing like ooh So what you wanna do Let's just run girl If we wake up and you want to break up That's cool No, I won't blame you It was fun girl

Your head was pounding. Bringing a hand to your face, you rubbed your eyes before squinting them open. How much did you drink last night? You could hardly remember a thing... that is until you realized you weren’t in your hotel room, nor were you alone. An arm was wrapped around your waist, and the person’s head was nuzzled against your back. Fucking shit. Your mind was reeling, trying to remember what had happened. A part of your mind tried to rationalize that maybe you didn’t hook up with someone. After all, you were still dressed. Then again... the sweats and baggy shirt didn’t belong to you. 

You were worried about waking whoever was beside you. You were desperate to avoid any awkward and embarrassing interactions. Slowly reaching out, you went to pull your phone off of the bedside table. That’s when you noticed the ring. Your breath got caught in your throat as a sudden sense of urgency flooded your system. You tried to turn your phone on, but a black screen stared back at you. Of course, it was dead. Well, there was only one thing you could do. You started peeling yourself from the person’s grasp. As you did, the person stirred. When you were finally able to turn and look at them, it felt like someone dumped a bucket of rocks into your stomach. “Damn... my head’s killin’ me,” Joe groaned while rubbing his face. Your mouth open and closed. You couldn’t think of anything to say. Joe removed his hands, finally meeting your gaze. His eyes widened. “Oh my god...” was all the could muster up.

“Joe, what the hell happened last night?” You showed him your hand, and his face reddened. 

“Well... I-- uh-- don’t remember much. I don’t think we had sex, but I don’t know about that.” He pointed at the ring. Joe quickly sat up, snatching his phone from the floor. Thankfully, it had been charging. 

He had multiple missed calls and unopened text messages from his friends, most of which said something along the lines of ‘Joe, what the hell is going on? Is this real?’ Joe swiped through his camera roll, but most of the pictures were goofy selfies or short videos of the two of you wandering around Walmart. It didn’t really offer much information. You suggested looking through your social media accounts. Lo and behold, it was the jackpot. Your twitter was filled with cringe-worthy levels of cheesy and sappy pickup lines, all of which had Joe tagged in them. He responded to a few, but his replies only consisted of various heart emojis. Joe’s Instagram story had dozens of photos and videos of you two, most of which you had already seen in his camera roll. Then there was one post that had the caption ‘I liked it so I put a ring on it (guess we’re engaged now)’, and you had commented ‘#couplegoals’. You decided to take a look into your own Instagram account, clicking through the story photos you remembered posting. When it finally got to something new, you couldn’t help the butterflies that formed in your chest. 

It was a video of Joe, laying in bed next to you. Your head was on his chest, and you had an arm draped across his torso. You were out cold, and Joe had a soft smile on his face. “(Y/N) fell asleep in the middle of our Night At The Museum marathon, so I decided to hack their insta.” He glanced down at you, his smile growing even wider. “They’re so adorable, even when they’re snoring like a freight train. But don’t let them know that I told you guys that,” he said the last part with a serious expression. Joe pressed a kiss to the top of your head, then the video ended.

“So I guess we got engaged,” you mumbled, examining the little frog ring on your finger. “We know that much happened.”

“What now?” Joe asked, his voice barely above a whisper. You glanced at him, and he was idly tracing a pattern into the bed’s comforter. 

“Well, first, I think we should get some breakfast. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. Then maybe we could start with a date and see how that goes?” Joe looked up, meeting your gaze. A smile spread across his lips.

“I like that plan.”

Don't say no no no no no Just say yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah And we'll go go go go go If you're ready, like I'm ready

Just say I do Tell me right now baby Tell me right now baby, baby Just say I do Tell me right now baby Tell me right now baby, baby

Tag List;

@mothermercuryy @mmmmmitslikeadiseaseson

[michaelreaderreblog]

My truemate pt13

AN: The long wait is now over. I dont remember if I even edited this but if I didnt. I am so sorry. I was getting another thing going and “editing” at the same time. Anyways, My truemate is finally up and will continue going. Sorry for the long silence, dreadful cage. Sorry wont go into a personal rant. Enjoy my loves!! Tag list is there. If you’d like to be added to the tags please send a message. I hope I got everyone for the tags, I know last time I didnt. Ok enjoy my sweeet darlings. Yes my inner Freddie Mercury is appearing.

**********************

Catch up here:

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN

EIGHT

NINE

TEN

ELEVEN

TWELVE 

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Word Count: 2,319

After a few minutes have gone by is when the both of you hear the garage door open and he gets straight to work with the deliveries he will be doing.

His phone rings and he is all business for the rest of the day.

“Well that was rather interesting” you say to break the silence after taking a sip from your cup of coffee.

“I suppose it rather is” Castiel says with a smile still spread across his face

You could feel that he is feeling rather content about Dean serving him breakfast when he almost forgot that he is suppose to be working.

“After we are done here, we can start working and one question though?” you say getting up to put your plate away into the sink, you really needed to get on the dishes.

“Geez, I'll get this later, I have a few things to do before I do the dishes” you mutter to yourself.

“My car got delivered to the house before getting here and thats how I got myself here” Castiel says from the table while he sill eating the food Dean has served him.

“Damn, thats right. Is it alright if we used your car to delivery the party favours?” you ask from the kitchen.

“Yeah, I dont see that as a problem. You finished them already?” he asks as he gets up from the table to bring over his dirty dishes to place into the sink to as well.

“Yeah I got them done last night when I couldnt sleep” you tell him while getting the water ready.

You decided to wash the dishes and setting them on the rack for them to dry.

“Anything troubling you, why you couldnt sleep?” he asks standing beside you as you begin to rinse out the suds from the plates.

“Uh, yeah” you answer him quietly.

“Do you want to talk to me about it?” he asks in sympathy.

“When we first moved here and sort of got settled into the house. We decided to head out for supper and when we got to the diner there was this douchey pervert that grabbed me. He was just so aggressive and the things that he said just made me feel so like Im only useful for one thing. The things that he wanted to do to me just scared me so much that something could happen at any given time and I feel that this will not be the first.” You tell Castiel as you try not to break down in front of him but he can sense that you fear there is going to be more trouble a head.

“Hey, hey, hey, dont worry about a thing ok. You have two caring, loving, protective brothers who are willing to do anything for you. I for one will not let anything happen to you and we need to tell my father about this and soon. At the same time you can go to the police about this. They take Omega rights very seriously, trust me when I say that” he says as he takes you into his arms and embraces you into a tight hug.

You accept the embrace right away and feel yourself calming down by the gesture.

“You know, we have known each other for a day and I feel like I have known you my entire life” you say as a smile creeps at the corners of your face.

“Well I think its because we are family in ways, I mean Im your brothers mate and you’re my brothers mate” as he says that you pull away slowly to look at him in the eyes.

“He told you that?” you ask in a hushed tone.

“Yeah he told me yesterday and he also mentioned that he is feeling rather conflicted because he has Anna. She has told him before that she would let him go if his true mate ever came along. I advised him to talk to her right away and well end things because I would rather have him truly happy then not knowing what its like to be with someone as his equal” he says as he places his hand on your shoulder.

“You know I was feeling rather jealous about her the day before when I met her. She is so sincere, kind and beautiful. I was telling Dean that she is so lucky to be waking up beside him, going home to him every night while I sit here thinking that should be me because he is my true mate” you tell him as you rewash the plate over and over again.

He stops you from rewashing the plate for millionth time and places it in the rinse water and on the dish rack.

“I had a feeling you would say something like that and you would be feeling this way. Y/n believe me when I say this, Michael will do the right thing here and talk to Anna about all of this. He has always believed in true mates from when we were growing up and he would always tell my brother well my late brother and I how he would be so happy when he found his equal. How he would have the perfect family to call his own and to protect whats his if anyone threatened his family. I always wanted them to be truly happy and find the mates that they belonged to and I still want that for Michael. There is no need to be feeling jealous alright? Anna should be the one to be jealous since I am very certain she knows about the true mate thing already” Castiel says as he looks into your eyes and the one thing you held onto the most was him referring to his late brother and as you saw him mention him you could see the pain spread across his face while he mentions him.

“Late brother? What happened? Sorry its just your expression completely changed at the mentions of him. Again sorry if you dont want to talk about it than I understand” you say as you continued washing every single dirty dish, utensils, pots, and pans until the dish rack is filled with the mornings servings and last night.

“No its fine, I would have to talk about this sooner or later. Im also guessing you have been wondering why I asked if your brothers were Alpha's” he says as he goes back to the table to have himself seated.

You follow right behind him and do the same thing at the table across from him.

“A few years after I presented Omega and after one of my heats my brother Lucifer, is his name by the way. After one of my heats he told me to stay home just until my scent had gone away completely. I told him that it would be fine and how much I really wanted to get out of the house to see my friends whom I havent seen in a week. While he has told me countless times to stay home I didnt listen to him and I went out anyways. As I was walking through the square to meet up with my friends, I was followed little ways and then a van pulls up beside me. The man who followed me was Alpha, he came running behind me told me how ripe my scent was and told me how amazing I would be for one of his bosses brothels and make millions off of me. He drugged me, another man pulled me into the van and took me to an old warehouse outside of town. I woke up in this empty room, looked around to get up from the chair only to see Im tied to it. I managed to get my phone from my pocket to send an emergency text to my brother, he responded and found me on the GPS system that was turned on from my phone. I heard someone walking down the hall and I was still out of it from the drugs and pretended to be out again. Lucifer came into the room and I felt someone trying to cut through the rope and I was trying to resist the person until I heard his voice telling me who he was and he was going to get me out of there. Suddenly that turned for the worst when the three men who abducted me came back to the room to transfer me some where else is what Im guessing. They saw my brother, attacked him, he fought back and one of them came at me but I managed to kick him in his groin and he fell to the floor while my brother yelled at me to make a run for it. I didnt want to leave him behind but he pushed me towards the door and I ran. I ran so fast like my life depended on it, I got to his car and drove little ways away from the warehouse to call the police for help. Within minutes they all came, they managed to capture one of them while the other two fled. The paramedics came out with a body and one of the officers told me to identify the body which I did. As they lifted the sheet from his face, thats when I went completely numb and couldnt believe that was my brother. I was frozen until they moved him away from me and thats when I went frantic told them he was only sleeping and that I should take him home. The officer told me my brother was gone and he risked his life to save mine. For so many years I have blamed my biology for his death, blamed it on me when I knew I should have stayed home when he told me to, and I blamed myself for everything that has gone wrong that day. After we had the funeral I stayed home, locked myself in my room or at times I would lock myself in my brothers room and I would go through his things and I would wear his clothes. My parents and Michael saw how I was and I knew they didnt like how I was dealing with everything. Until Michael thought it would be a good idea for me to move with him to Portland where he went to school, he told my parents but they didnt like that idea so much and my dad finally said ok maybe it would be a good idea to get away for while. I did move to Portland with Michael, he went to school, I enrolled in school to take this graphic design program for the two years I was there. Michael graduated, we came home, he found himself a place to live and I moved back in with my parents because my mother didnt like the idea of me living by myself. I graduated the program online not to long ago and here I am sitting with you, telling you about my story on how I lost my brother. Well how my parents lost a son, and how Michael lost a brother as well” Castiel tells his story as tears streamed down his face as you sit there surprised he hasnt broken into a sob while telling you what happened all those years ago.

You place your hand over his that are placed over the table

“Now I understand why you asked if my brothers were Alpha's. I am so sorry about your brother. You know what your brother did was a courageous thing for you to be here. If that was you than you would have never met your true mate who happens to be Dean. I think he would have never found his true mate if the tables were turned. Like you want for Michael I would love for Dean to have. Castiel you are living proof you are meant for something so beautiful that no one could ever have because of the circumstances that has taken a twist in life. Living proof that you are meant to live a long happy life even if that doesnt include your brother. You are an amazing person and you are worth it, even if you cant see it but I do. Dean sees it to along with Sam even though we have only known you for a day but still I can feel that from you” you tell him as you wipe away the tears from his face and kiss his forehead.

While you did that he still has his head down looking to the table top and closes his eyes when your lips meet his fore head.

“You really are a lovely person you know that, I know it takes a while to get back to my normal self. By being with you I feel like I can grasp something of myself from years ago and now I am getting the feeling I can fully appreciate the little things in life again. Now I am really happy I have taken this job opportunity with you and I thank you for all of this” he says as he lifts his head to get a good look at you and tell you while he gazes into your eyes.

You were cut off by the door bell ringing and you get up from the chair to answer it.

“No let me” he says as he gets up from the table to answer the door and its a customer for the plush toys they have ordered.

You run down the stairs to get the order from your office and run back up the stairs to hand it to Castiel. They say their thank yous and went on their merry way home to surprise the children with such amazing toys to cherish forever.

********************************************

Taglist: 

@animegirlgeeky 

@strangerthingshargove 

@freerebelmentality 

@enthusedbycuriosity 

@sia-del

[lavellane]

DRAGON AGE QUESTIONS

tagged by: @nordxz​ thanks so much !!! *heart emoji* 

favourite game of the series?

origins! although inquisition is very close as well.  inquisition was my favourite for a very time, but like midway through last year i replayed origins and it just felt.....so good. i really struggled with enjoying dao because of the clunky fighting system but an amazing mutual introduced me to a mod that lets u skip fights basically lol, so i was just able to focus on the story/characters/exploration of the game, which just....made me realize how immensely beautiful the game actually is, and i fell in love all over again aaaaa

how did you discover dragon age?

i was a huge mass effect fan ! mass effect was the game that motivated me to make this blog, actually, and obviously through following people i saw a lot of posts from the da community as well. so i bought origins and inquisition (i had NO idea there was a da2 until half way through awakening lmao) and tried to play origins but HATED it gtrhutgrhugtr and then eventually gave it another try like a month later and completely loved it and now here we are

how many times you’ve played the games?

not as many times as some people on here have - i would say origins maybe four times, da2 maybe twice, inquisition three times. but that also doesnt count all the timesw ive created new games and then abandoned them lol bc theres too many to count 

favourite race to play as?

love me some elf booty ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

favourite class?

at first it was rogue dual wielder ! i played as a rogue in every single first-time playthrough and idk i felt that class has always been the easiest/most op. but in the last maybe 2 years it’s changed to mage. ive always been super intimidated by magic classes in every game i play but i LOVE inquisition’s mage classes/specializations and i can never go back now

do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions each time?

im so so so bad and i usually end up making very similar choices, but usually bc i just......replay the same characters every time hgtuhgtruhgtrui. i REALLY need to make more da ocs to explore more choices but....i dont want to lol i already have to many. i still havent sided with the templars in a playthrough like i just cant do it 

go-to adventuring group?

i always bring my characters love interest with them no matter what, just bc its cute, but usually i try to evenly cycle the other characters around that. i always try to have a warrior/rogue/mage in every party. but sometimes i’ll go warrior/warrior/mage/mage especially if i need to focus on straight damage and a LOT of healing lol

my favourite parties would probably be:

dao - alistair + zevran + wynne (wholesome and also funny)

da2 - anders + fenris + merrill (SO much chaotic energy)

dai - solas + cassandra + cole (i just love them ok)

which of your characters did you put the most thought into?

ashara lavellan, my canon inquisitor who was never supposed to be canon tghtgurhtrg. my original canon inq was a trevelyan rogue, who was super nice and good. i made ashara so that i could actually play as an evil/mean character without feeling bad lol, oh and i also wanted to see what the deal with solas was bc i had heard his romance was good ;;;;) anyway that backfired and i ended up completely falling in love with her, and i STILL couldnt make the tough choices with her so i was like ok maybe she isnt THAT evil and now shes just..... the way she is now i guess lmao

favourite romance?

trhhtruih okay u guys KNOW its solas. u know. i dont even have to say anythiing about it bc...u fucking know

(alistair’s is very close tho)

have you read any of the comics/books?

i havent :(((( im such a bad fan but i cannot deal with ordering online and thats the only place ive been able to find them. im planning on reading asunder and the masked empire as soon as i get the chance (and the money) tho !!

if you read them, which was your favourite book?

nope

favourite DLCs?

trespasser ! its pretty simple and very plot-driven like u didnt have to worry about side missions as much as u would with other dlcs so idk that was... refreshing. but obviously i loved it just bc it was so beautiful and intense and sad (since my chara romanced solas obviously) and that music score????? unbelievable i’ll never be over it

things that annoy you.

can i say the fandom trghuitgrhutrhui

mostly the thing that pisses me off the most is the grey morality. writers trying to make everything deep and Thought Provoking like..... no jerry, slavery IS bad theres no alternative viewpoint lol??????? also the fucking whitewashing makes me see red. 

orlais or ferelden?

ferelden!!!!! (*blows a kiss* for highever)

templars or mages?

mages <3 

if you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one?

i only have like 3 protag da characters and they’re all canon, although emeraude is an au. so ella is my canon warden and ashara is my canon inquisitor, but emeraude does exist in that universe, bc i hc she befriended the warden and alistair when they visited the alienage, and she was very outspokenly angry and didn’t really give a shit that alistair was going to be heir. which alistair really,,, appreciated i guess? so emeraude is made his official elven adviser after his coronation but she also kinda helps out as a royal protector because she’s one of the only people in court they both trust completely lol. also she is....stronk. 

and the only other characters i have for da are obviously side characters who are related to my canon protags so. they’re all canon as well lol

what did you name your pets? (mabari, summoned animals, mounts, etc)

ella named her dog ser bark gthutgrhutghruihtr she thought it was cute ok

emeraude just went with barkspawn since alistair came up with the idea as a joke but she thought the joke was so bad she made them keep it as punishment vjhuightui

i dont really have a hawke oc but.....he named his dog shepard in my playthrough ! like from mass effect ;;;;)))

have you installed any mods?

origins is modded to hell and back and i genuinely couldn’t play the game without mods at this point. inquisition is slightly modded but im in the process of removing them all, and only keeping a few because my game runs pretty terribly with them installed 

did your warden want to become a grey warden?

ella did ! but it was kind of,, a naive childhood dream, she had a really romanticized view of the wardens and she wanted a life of excitement and bravery and adventure, not really taking into consider all the bad things about it (and obviously not knowing the full truth about what it means to be a warden)

emeraude did NOT want to be a warden. she basically had to be dragged out of the alienage because she wanted to stay and protect her community. she never really enjoyed being a warden, although her friendship with alistair was its one redeeming quality 

hawke’s personality?

uh i cant remember the colour/personality thing but he was a combo of funny/ethical. mostly there for memes tho. 

did you make matching armor for your companions in inquisition?

for origins i do ! i always make sure alistair and ella wear the grey warden armour, as well as every warden in awakening. thats like, all theyre allowed to wear lmao.

if your character(s) could go back in time to change one thing, what would they change?

ella would obviously change her family’s murder lol, and emeraude would at least try and change what happened at her wedding, to prevent shianni and the others from being hurt. 

ashara would change romancing solas :((( she was so angry at herself after discovering who he was, and she felt weak and foolish which she HATES more than any other feeling, so she definitely wishes she had never met him for a long time. after she kind of processes it though, and learns to deal with her anger, her answer would be that she wishes she had saved the chargers. it’s the one move she made that actually keeps her up at night sometimes. 

do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon?

ghuitrhuigtrhugtr so many. canon? dont know her. 

the biggest example would be that i hc king!alistair was at the winter palace during the wicked hearts level. because uh..... celene and the fereldan monarchs had been corrosponding for over 10 years, trying to build up rapport, of COURSE the king would be there to see who the potential ruler/s of orlais would be and whether or not he ought to be worried. like. im sorry but alistair was there lol you can’t change my mind. i also hc he helps ashara with information about the grey wardens during this chapter, because ???? it just makes sense??? im so angry i wish this was canon

are any of your characters based on someone?

ok it was unintentional but ashara reminds me of an english teacher i had in highschool who was very scary but also....really cool and i loved her. it was an accident but,, still counts. 

who did you leave in the fade?

gtiturghtugh okay at the risk of pissing off EVERYBODY who reads this, i left hawke in the fade, even though it was a toss up between hawke and stroud. it was ashara’s fault tho !!! she would have 100% prioritzed an alliance with the grey wardens over like,, some guy. it broke my heart but yeah That happened. 

favourite mount?

i like all the elk mounts mostly ! but i never use them bc they sound ugly af

tagging : @trvelyans​ @f3nharel​ @allisondraste​ @ensevens​ @tethraas​ @talizorah​ @fereldun​ if u are up to it <3 and whoever else wants to do this ! 

[brynwrites]

Ask Compilation

Topics covered:

Pearl publishing things.

WIP pages.

Online writer communities and feedback.

Bulking up your plot.

All other questions should be listed on the ask queue page, which the exception of one character related ask and a bunch of project related asks from the same anon.

Pearl in Paperback.

Anon asked: Is Pearle (sorry if I spelt that wrong) going to be available in paperback? I love it so far but I won’t be able to buy it if it’s download only and I don’t want to miss the chance to support you

I fully plan to make Pearl available in paperback at the time of the ebook release! If things go well, I would also love to create an audiobook for Pearl, though that would be released at a later date as it’s rather costly.

Pearl Publishing Updates.

@rebel-sun asked: hey, if this is like too much effort its nbd so dont sweat it but im bare excited for your book tbh and when you post about publishing updates could you tag me in them? otherwise they get lost in my feed and i dont see them 😭😭

I’m glad to hear you’re excited! When the time comes for the actual release, I’ll likely tag anyone who reblogged the Pearl first chapter post with positive tags, but as I have limited time and am incredibly forgetful, I can’t promise to mention anyone else in that post. If you really want to stay up to date, I’d recommend signing up for my newsletter. 

WIP Pages.

Hey! I love your stories pages!! Can you give tips to where you get such awesome ones? I can always find the traditional ones, not the cool ones like yours lol. I'm sorry to bother!

Thanks! Unfortunately, I don’t have any tips outside of what I do personally, which is to search through a ton of theme lists and constantly bookmark anything I think looks interesting. I also know a lot about coding (I used to code all my own blogs and pages, but now I’m too busy and my mental health doesn’t approve of it), so I make quite a few adjustments to most of my pre-made themes. 

@cog-writes has a series right now on themes for writeblrs, so maybe check that out?

Online Writer Feedback. 

@cartoonenthusiast asked: hey do you know any online community where you can get reviews and/or feedback for your stories?

I know there is one where you use a point type system and can get feedback as long as you provide it for others, but I can’t remember what it’s called and I’ve never used it before. 

The best, most honest, and most helpful online writers community though, will always, always be the one you create for yourself. It’s a tried and true method writers have been using since novels first originated, and all it takes is for you to actively seek out a dozen of so writers from the same genre and create a place you can all chat and exchange stories in. (I use discord for this, but anywhere will do.)

Bulking Up Your Plot.

Anon asked: Hi, do you have any tips on 'bulking up' plot? I've outlined a plan for a cop murder story, but I wanna put in some offhand funny stuff and other side plots, but I just don't know how?? Sorry about my rant btw -_-'

I don’t have any specific tips for this at the moment. Maybe someday I’ll whip up a full post, but I think there’s enough that’s been said before on the topic, and my advice doesn’t stray far from the average. Some things that might help you though:

There are a few subplot related articles linked to at the end of this post.

Since pacing is very important when expanding your plot past the bare bones, here’s the article on pacing. 

[amoristt]

To Shelter a Storm | Nathan x Reader

disclaimer: i know nathan is not a good person. i am not putting a blanket over his actions in this fic. i, the writer, understand he’s not an innocent character and has made many terrible choices. im just answering people’s requests, please dont put me under the fire for it.

thank you.

Anonymous Asked: more nathan please!!!! Not for grazing fire part 2, can you write where reader and nathan are already into a relationship and he calls her late and she stays at his dorm, or he stays at hers? female reader obviously. thanks for the blog <3

i actually had a nathan fic in the drawing boards so i just altered it to fit this! hopefully this is what you were looking for, hehe. vulnerable nathan is my favorite thing- the lad needs to just *feel* for once, so i made this sort of gushy (even if it doesn’t start out that way) <3 enjoy!

reblogs + tags and replies will make my entire day as i put a lot of effort into this :)!

story continues beneath the read more. let me know if you can’t access it!

To Shelter a Storm

It was 4 am when your phone started to ring. 4 am when you groaned against your pillow, forced yourself to roll over, and nearly threw your phone as it blinded you with light. Though you couldn’t see the name on the screen thanks to the brightness you knew exactly who it was calling you, and it made your eyebrows knit together in frustration. 

If he actually stayed on the line when you answered maybe you wouldn’t be so pissed off, but when you answered and grumbled a ‘hello’ in the speaker the line went immediately dead. You almost threw your phone again in late night fury. How dare he wake you up for no reason? Half of you wanted to call him back just incase something truly was wrong (not uncommon for him, after all) but the other half decided fuck it, and you tossed your phone somewhere down by your waist and rolled right back over. Just because he was your boyfriend didn't mean you had to deal with all his late-night antics.

Ring ring, ring ring.

You snatched your phone so quick it astounded even you in your tiredness.

“What Nathan?” you huffed, sitting up. There was silence. “Don’t you fucking dare hang up.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

You flopped back on your back and pulled the covers up. “Why are you calling me again in the middle of the night.”

“Because I can?”

“Yeah, sure,” you rolled over. “Is something wrong or are you just insistent on making sure you ruin my sleeping schedule?”

“I don’t owe an explanation to you.”

“Jesus christ Nathan, stop being so stubborn.” If you from a year ago heard yourself talking like this to Nathan Prescott you’d have shit your pants, but he’d been calling you well late into the night for months now. At this point if he killed you it would be mercy. Plus he was your boyfriend now, you weren’t as scared of him as you probably should have been.

“Maybe I just want to make sure my phone’s working.” He sounded distracted on the other end.

“Then call one of your other late-night buddies. I bet Warren would value a midnight chat.”

“Shut up, you bitch.” Nathan spat, but there wasn’t any real venom behind it. Not like when you’d first met.

“I’m serious Nathan, stop calling me in the middle of the night. Or at least don’t hang up right when I answer the first time.”

“Why should I? You have no problem calling me during class.”

“Because the teachers don’t give a shit about what you do, Nathan. I’m not as privileged. I need my sleep.”

He scoffed. “Jesus fuck, ___, sorry you have to suffer so much.”

“Aaand I’m hanging up. Night, Nathan. Love ya’.” You pulled the phone from your ears, ready to press the taunting big red ‘hang up’ button, but his voice stopped you.

“Okay, okay, wait.” You waited silently. He huffed. “Just- Wait a minute, damn.”

“Wait for what?” Try as you might you couldn’t hide the annoyance in your tone.

You heard a clatter of movement on his end, followed by a sharp ‘shit’. He sounded outside, the wind making you pull the phone from your ears. “One minute.”

Rolling your eyes, you stared up at the ceiling and fought the urge to fall back asleep. When he didn’t come back for a minute you almost did, but was jolted back into consciousness when he began to speak again.

“Have you talked to Vic?”

Even though he couldn’t see it, you frowned. “Are you kidding me? You’re having girl problems?”

“Fuck you, ___! You know it’s not like that. She’s just-. She was supposed to meet me outside and she’s not here. I think she fell asleep, god damn it.” The frustration in his tone made you bite back another short tempered retort. “So here I am, sitting outside even though it’s fucking freezing.”

“What do you want me to do about it?” When there was silence you knew exactly what he wanted. “Damn it, Nathan. I just said I needed sleep.”

“Come on, don’t be a bitch about it. You knew exactly what you were getting into the minute you picked up the phone. Plus it’s not like it’s the first time you’ve snuck out after hours. Remember when you used to creep on me by the rocks?” He spoke about it like he was fond of the memory.

“Jesus Nathan you know I wasn’t creeping on you.” You ran a hand through your hair and sighed. “Fine. Fine. But only for like, 10 minutes. That’s it, then I come back and you get to freeze your ass off alone for however long you want.”

“Awesome. Hurry the hell up.”

“Whatever.”

Sneaking out of your room was not an issue. You’d done it so many time’s at this point you were more than confident about you’re ‘hiding behind walls’ skills- not that it mattered. At most there was usually only one guard keeping watch and she was a lousy one at that, leaning against walls on her phone or chilling in one of the lounge chairs. Once she fell asleep and you fought the urge to write on her face. Sometimes, though, there was just no one. They ‘trusted’ the students enough to make good choices, and you were living proof that the honor code was complete bullshit. It worked out in your favor, though, so you couldn’t complain.

Tonight was one of the nights where the halls were clear of any security guards, so it was an easy trip opening one of the windows and hopping out so you wouldn’t trigger the system alarm settled on the dorms. Apparently someone had broken into one of the rooms months ago and no one ever said a thing, just quietly installed system alarms onto the doors and pretended like it was mandatory.

“It’s for the students safety!” Said Principle Well’s. “You can rest easy now!”

The only reason you learned there was a break in was from one of your friends who happened to know the dude responsible for it, and you asked her to smack him for you since he made it that much harder to sneak out at night. Thankfully the windows were overlooked which was dumb because they were even easier to climb out of than get out the door. Plus there was one right next to your room.

Outside was cold and biting but you didn’t mind, huddling your arms together for a chance of warmth as you snaked around the building and made your way past the front doors, then the hedges surrounding, and finally out towards the fountain. You felt exposed beneath the orange streetlight but you knew no one was outside paying attention anyways. 

Nathan, like expected, was sitting on the edge of the fountain looking around like he was in trouble. It made you shake your head in a sort of disapproving way, the dude needed to lighten up for once in his life. Then again, maybe he shouldn't. You knew some shit on Nathan and perhaps it was for the best he kept his guard up at all times. Looking over his shoulder he saw you and leaned back, waving you to come closer, and you did.

“Hope you’re happy.” you mumbled, plopping down next to him and huffing. “It’s so fucking cold out. You owe me for this, Prescott.”

“No I don’t.” He said nonchalantly. You gave a defeated laugh and shook your head again.

“No, you don’t.”

There was a silence and immediately you picked something up.

“Were you smoking?” you asked, propping your elbows up and resting your chin on your hands.

“I was but I ran out.” He shoved his hands into his pockets, staring up at the sky for a minute before looking back down at you. “I thought Vic was coming so I just blew through mine. She usually brings more.”

You laughed again, licking at your lips. “Don’t you ever get tired of smoking?” You knew the answer but you asked anyways. He shrugged curtly, and you frowned. For someone who couldn’t relax a moment in his life (save for when he was almost dead-drunk) he was being oddly quiet. Usually at night he talked a lot, much more than when he did when he was around students. Maybe the solitude made him feel more open.

Leaning back to look at him, you sighed. “Everything okay?” Now it was his turn to hunch forward, but instead of just relaxing he ran his hands rather roughly through his hair. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything.” he grunted, and for a moment you almost forgot who he was and went to rub his back. “Everything’s always wrong.”

“Even us?” You watched him from the corners of your eyes, listening to the fountain behind you. It was obvious what his answer would be, but you knew him. Remind him some things are good.

Nathan swallowed and let his hands fall back down onto his lap.

“We’re good.”

Then, you did reach out, touch tentatively at the area between his shoulder blades. For just a moment you could feel him tense beneath your touch but before you had the chance to pull away he managed to relax, even leaned into the feeling. You flattened your palm and gently ran it down, then up. He rolled his shoulders.

“Good.” You whispered. Leaning forward so that you could see his expression was a dangerous move given his spontaneous nature but you did it anyways. Something was eating at him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

For a minute he shook his head, then he gave a defeated huff. His reply was almost entirely what you expected it to be:

“Dad.” You fought the urge to ball your fists against his upper back when he kept going. “Son of a bitch threatened me. Again.”

Ah, yes, Mr. Prescott. The Myth, the man, the legend, the absolute asshole. You didn’t know a whole lot about him since you spared Nathan the awkward and spiteful conversation, but from you could gather he was a strictly businessman. No if’s, and’s, or buts, and definitely no ‘no’s. He was a verbally abusive jerk who apparently enjoyed picking on Nathan’s choice of habits, and even though part of you could agree that they weren’t what he needed, you hated the fact that his father used cold threats rather than actually trying to reach out and help him. He was just as much to blame as Nathan was for his son’s horrible life style.

But, still, despite Nathan’s anger, despite his hate and hurt, you loved him. So you continued to rub his back. He wasn’t perfect but he’s what you wanted, and you’d made that choice a year ago. 

“What a dick.” you murmured, and Nathan nodded. For a time there was another silence until you broke it. “Hey, it’s cold out here. Do you maybe wanna head inside?” You almost couldn’t recognize the softness in your tone but he could, and he nodded again. For someone as explosive as he was, someone who despised being ‘talked down to’ and being ‘treated like a child’, he responded to softness well. You’d never bring his attention to it but he followed kindness like a moth follows light.

He didn’t make a move to get up until you did, and when you were both standing you took the chance to lean up and place a chaste kiss on his cheek. He still smelled like weed but you didn’t say anything. He didn’t respond to the action and you thought maybe for a moment it made him upset for some unknown reason, but then, without meeting your gaze, he pulled you in for a hug.

His hugs weren’t comfortable, you’d learned. He was uncertain even after months of doing so, unsure where to rest his hands and where exactly to wrap his arms around. He was bony and angular and sometimes it felt like just straight up hugging stone, but this was Nathan. The hateful, uncaring and menacing Prescott with a chip on his shoulder, and he was hugging you, at least making an effort to be affectionate, to be docile. So, you wrap your arms right back around him. You lean your head against his chest and close your eyes, and you sigh against his collarbones. He could use the warmth.

Then, just as it began, he pulls away. You’ve also learned that he isn’t a fan of long hugs. He’d never given you a reason why but you guessed it had something to do with his issue about touching. It was confusing at times- when you two were alone in the other’s room he couldn’t get his hands off of you, rather it be cuddling or ‘other things’, but outside of that he bristled like a porcupine when you so much as ran your fingers over his own. It wasn’t because he was embarrassed of you, and you knew that for a fact when he kissed you in front of some kid you’d never met before to prove a point. He just had… Issues. Deep rooted issues that you fully intended on helping him smooth out.

“Yours or mine?” You asked softly, looking up at him, giving him the choice. Suddenly he lowered his head and groaned in shame.

“Yours,” He said. “I somehow managed to fucking lock myself out for the night.” You put a hand over your mouth to muffle a laugh and he rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, asshole. It’s so funny.”

“It is funny!” You giggled. “How did you manage that?”

He kicked at the concrete beneath his feet, and spoke quietly, quickly. “The window closed behind me.”

A burst of laughter made it’s way out of you and you leaned forward for a moment, imaging the look of ‘fuck’ on his face when he heard the lock click behind him. Nathan Prescott, the master of sneaking out and being shady, got outsmarted by a window.

“Stupid fucking alarm systems.” He fumed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “If I wasn’t already in trouble I’d just walk the fuck in. Screw everyone trying to sleep.”

You laughed again. “Is that why you were meeting with Victoria?”

He rolled his eyes. “I was gonna’ call you at first but you,” He used finger quotations, “need your beauty sleep.”

It warmed you to think that he considered your comfort over his own, even if it was for a brief time only. “Maybe if you didn’t call me so often at night I wouldn’t complain as much.”

“Yeah well, too bad.” He mumbled, and there it was. He was right back to being himself. “So are we gonna’ go or?”

“Yeah, but I have to warn you, the window might just lock you out again.”

“Shut the hell up.”

The window held up it’s end for the night, remaining open for the duration of your trip and up to when you two climbed inside. It was funny watching him move quicker than usual, like a person crawling out of a broken elevator. When he was up on his feet he smugly grinned at you and led you to your own dorm. Just like when you left there wasn’t a soul up and moving around except for you two. It was alluring, almost, knowing that in a building of nearly 100+ kids you two were probably the only ones awake. Everything was silent, almost echoing when he opened your door and walked in, finding his way to bed and falling down onto it face first.

“Graceful.” You teased, sitting beside him. He rolled onto his side and welcomed you to nestle against him. “And chivalrous.”

“”Fuck off,” He said, and just like earlier there was no bite to his tone. “I’m tired.”

“Climbing into a window really took that much out of you?” You settled next to him, sitting up and he found his way against your side. You wrapped your arms around him. In the course of your relationships you learning something shocking: Nathan was a cuddler behind closed doors. Well, that, and the realization that he liked to be the little spoon. You had no issue with it- he liked to feel protected and you liked having something to wrap your arms around. Everyone wins.

Since his head was resting on your chest you couldn’t see his face, but you just knew it was a glare at the disgruntled huff that left his lips. You sighed and ran your hand over the top of his hair, letting him relax against you.

“Come on Nathan,” you cooed. “You know I’m only joking.”

“I know.” He replied quietly, and if you hadn’t been with him for as long as you were you’d be surprised at the lack of anger in his tone. “I’m just… I don’t know. My dad’s so far up my ass I can almost taste the keyboard he uses type up email threats.”

You grimaced. “That’s gross.”

“Yeah, you’re fuckin’ telling me.”

“It’ll get better.” you said, even though you knew those weren’t the words he wanted to hear. He scoffed but didn’t move away.

“Oh yeah, I’m sure they will.” you could almost hear him rolling his eyes. “Things will get better when I’m 40 and have kids of my own to fuck up.”

“Don’t say that,” you frowned. “They’ll get better long before that. When school's out we can-...” you sighed, licked at your lips nervously, and said something that had been weighing at you for months. “We can run away.”

The silence was deafening.

“Run away?” He suddenly whispered, and it wasn’t really a question. It sounded like he was playing the idea in his head, imagining what it would be like.

“Yeah,” you breathed, petting his hair soothingly. “We can get out of here. Me and you, and Victoria if she wants to come.”

Victoria used to piss you off, made you feel threatened. She was beautiful and had more years of experience with Nathan than you did, knew secrets you could only hope to wonder about, could pick him out of a crowd blindfolded. Yes, she used to make you feel so small, but it changed when Nathan always came back to you. He kissed you, held you, loved you, and that was huge. Love wasn’t something he thought he could feel, but it was there, and it was for you. When you finally grasped that concept Victoria wasn’t a problem anymore. If anything you welcomed her- Nathan could use all the open arms and outlets he could get.

“Where would we go?” Nathan sounded interested now, and your heart lifted at the thought of him actually taking your statement into consideration.

You leaned back, stared up at the ceiling. “Anywhere,” you said. “And everywhere.” He shifted against you and you finally felt him relax. You smiled. “Sound good?”

“Hell yeah.” He said with a breath, and you could hear his exhausted smile. “No more shitty blackwell, no more shitty Arcadia Bay, and best of all no more shitty dad.”

You giggled in tired delight, feeling your eyes grow heavy. “We’ll see everything together, won’t we?”

When Nathan said something, slurred and soft, you almost asked him to repeat himself. But, you stopped yourself having been in this exact spot so many times- he’d fallen asleep. He always had a habit of saying things just as he was passing out and at times it annoyed you- you wanted to know what he had said, but other times it was endearing, like he just couldn’t keep himself awake but also wanted to continue your useless conversation. You warmed up at the thought of knowing Nathan did these things- things that no one else but you would know.

You relished in Nathan’s eased state of mind, his head tucked beneath your chin as you pet over his hair. No one knew him like you knew him, knew how small he could be when he didn’t have his walls built sky high. No one knew how easy he fell apart, or molded against you. You were the only one who knew that when he fell asleep peacefully, not induced from a narcotic or drug, he looked like an angel. So relaxed, so peaceful. No one knew he sometimes talks in his sleep, or that his favorite sleeping position (when alone) is on his stomach.

No one would get to know him like you, and it was an oddly possessive but calming thought. Only you could wrap your arms around him, feel him melt against your body as he let you hold him. His anger can only last for so long, you’ve picked up. He burns out quicker than he’d like to admit. He sometimes thinks he’s indestructible, that he’s a wildfire that can burn forever. But, even the mightiest fires can be doused. Even the harshest of storms have a calm. After struggling to learn him and his ways, you figured it out. This, curled up beside you and vulnerable, was his calm.

You leaned your head back against the headboard. It was 5:30 am now, you’d be up for school in less than two hours, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move. You could sleep sitting up just fine. You didn’t want to risk moving and waking him up. Instead, you imagined a better time. A time where he wasn’t calling you in the middle of the night, masking a break down in bitter laughter or drugs. You imagined a time where you’d hop in his car, one bag packed each, and Nathan would hit the gas pedal so hard the entire car would jerk with it’s start up. It wouldn’t matter who stared, or pointed. The two of you were never coming back.

Now leaving Arcadia Bay.

You could almost see it behind your eyes when they closed, and boy was it a wonderful sight. Long day’s and even longer nights with him. So many sights to see, so many things to do without the chains of Nathan’s father breathing down his neck. No one could tell either of you what to do when you would be out on the road. You knew it would be hard. He was hard. He was loud and irrational and at times tiresome but it always came back around when he’d shove his pride to the side and settle next to you, apologizing, trying to get better. He was always trying to get better. Even now you could pick out the differences in his demeanor since when you’d first met him. He wasn’t as quick to argue with you anymore. He still had trouble believing he was in the wrong but he’d progressed in listening to you, and just him trying was enough to let you believe he could get past all of his emotional baggage.

Now leaving Arcadia Bay.

It was almost so close you could touch it, reach out and drag your fingers over the old and weather-worn sign. You could almost hear Nathan sitting in the driver's seat beside you, asking where you wanted to go first. It was a warm and inviting image and when it lulled you to sleep, you smiled, pet his hair again. The last thing you heard was his sleepy noise of content, and the last thing you felt was his arm squeeze you just a bit tighter.

[hunkkeiths-blog]

So I just scrolled 20000 years back on your blog like the creep I am and I saw you mention schizophrenic Keith headcanons but never actually saw schizo Keith headcanons and I'm 👀👀👀

once again thank you so much for sending this! i really really love this au but i never talk about it bc i feel like no one cares and this makes me sooo happy!

also sorry again for answering late i just wanted to be able to type everything relatively quickly and use a readmore

(i added links that lead to wiki pages to explain what certain stuff is, you don’t need to click them or anything)

ok so here goes

[Food mentions and slight emeto for this part]

Keith has a lot of trouble with food, both bc of sensory issues and paranoia

when its sensory, its mostly if the texture is too different to whats hes used to, or if theres too much taste and theres anything else (a sound, some lights flashing, whatever) hell get overwhelmed really easily. so he tries to stick to relatively tasteless stuff

Keith also gets a lot of persecutory delusions and some of the most recurring ones is that his food has been poisoned, having relatively tasteless food helps with not being as convinced of that

On good days (well as good a day as you can have when you think your food has been poisoned anyway), he can sort of just power through it and eat enough to not be starving.

On bad days, he either doesn’t eat at all, or if he only realises it after having eaten he becomes sick/makes himself sick.

Back on Earth, especially during his year alone, he had 3-4 “trusted foods/brands” and he almost exclusively only ate those

Once on the ship, things get very complicated, because from the start, he doesn’t trust the altean food goo (he still doesn’t if he’s entirely honest, but they’ve all been eating it and none of them are dead yet so if it is poisoned its slow acting enough) so he mostly only eats when hes absolutely starving for the first month or so before he slowly starts to eat more of the altean meals

He does however trust what Hunk cooks partly because he trusts Hunk, partly because Hunk eats it too, and (taste+texture of the food goo aside) hes always more comfortable when Hunk cooks.

[Warning ended]

While developing and after when he had it (which was 2 or 3 years before he entered the Garrison), Keith ended up almost entirely isolated from people, in part because he would willingly withdraw from others, in part because the people who took care of him after his father left/died (foster families i guess? i dont really know how the system works and i cant imagine how much worse it must be for a schizophrenic kid so) didn’t really know what to do with him because he had really bad emotional blunting

Because he was mostly left alone, he started focusing alot on the delusions he had at the time, the main one of which was that he just wasnt human (which yes turned out to be somewhat true, but it’s still a delusion). that led him to thinking of going to space because of a feeling that something would happen there. which led him to the garrison which is how he ended up there.

At the Garrison, he was amazing at flying and mediocre at best in all his other classes.

This is partly because outside of doing stuff that could actually directly get him to space, he wasnt able to get any motivation to do anything else. (even if he gets kicked out, he can just steal a rocket or something right?)

he also didnt really have any friends because he didnt approach anyone and more or less actively avoided anyone trying to get close to him.

the way he just was; never showing any emotion, barely speaking, the weird things he sometimes did, etc; sort of drove ppl away on its own

(this is also sort of the reason he didnt remember him and lances “rivalry” in s1ep1. he never actually noticed lance thought of him as a rival, he just thought lance was sort of loud)

Shiro ended up like being a mentor or something to Keith, and Keith wasnt able to really avoid him

They start off sort of rocky, because Keith hates interacting with other people, due to paranoid thoughts (”he can read my mind”, “he wants to hurt me”, and so on) that, while they werent nearly as bad as off meds, were still present even with medication.

Slowly though, Keith warms up to Shiro and starts trusting him (though shiro is never really sure because Keith doesnt show it at all)

Keith starts doing better in all his classes, because he’s interpreted that shiro will be extremely disappointed in him if he ends up getting kicked out because of poor grades, and hes terrified of disappointing literally the only person in the world he trusts

It also leads to Keith putting a minimum of effort into becoming at least somewhat expressive 

When the kerberos mission fails, keith is destroyed. all his grades almost instantly drop and he barely shows up to class because losing the only person he trusts essentially makes him totally apathetic, and go back to having alot of paranoid thoughts/delusions (mostly surrounding the garrison staging the entire thing, sort of fake moon landing style but with actual murder to make people back off on exploring space because of Something), and feeling like he’s being stalked by people (not entirely untrue tbh), and deal with anhedonia. and thats how he gets kicked out/how he drops out 

Living entirely alone (as in without any supervision) was hell for Keith.

Moving to the shack after dropping out messed with his entire routine, and without a relatively strict routine, he ends up forgetting his meds

Off medication, he had really really really horrible episodes that almost always ended with him getting hurt in some way

Off-meds, he starts his garrison/shiro conspiracy wall

He also found the blue lions cave during an episode

After a while (keith never tries to find out how much time he spent without his meds because he forgot about them), he ends up taking his antipsychotics again, and almost destroys the wall, except theres a feeling he still has that he rememebers he had during an episode.

He ends up going to the cave again, and “Holy shit that was real??” so he restarts his wall while being a bit more down to Earth.

The day shiro crashes on earth is one of the best days of his life bc, well, shiro, but also because he was actually right for once.

Overall, Keith’s pretty good at organising his thoughts and not speaking incoherently, but if hes at all stressed, hell go through a lot of thought blocking

It’s really annoying because Keith hates not being understood and not finishing his points, but often, even if the person hes talking to reminds him what he was talking about, he cant remember what he was going to say after

He also used to think that the thought blocking was aliens and/or the government stealing away all his thoughts to study humans (or, before the garrison: not entirely human entities)

His thoughts are alot more disorganised than his speech shows (under normal circumstances, there are occasions where he does get mostly incoherent). He’s learned to think of what hes going to say step by step before saying it

What he says often still comes off as not entirely thought out, rude, etc because thinking about what order words are going to come out of his mouth doesnt fix not understanding how to interact with others

And here’s a bunch of stuff i couldn’t really make long enough to warrant a separate section:

Keith stims mostly when hes nervous or bored, and he stims by scratching his nails against things, because he likes the sounds it makes.

[self harm (sort of)] at some point, the team notices that when theres nothing for him to scratch (like a wall or something), hell scratch at his own skin, because scratching fabric feels/sounds horrible, often until he scratches part of it off. so they make him these little squares of material to scratch at

Keith does a lot of magical thinking (i cant find an easy link for this but in this case its like seeing signs in things that are seemingly unrelated if that makes sense) where he’ll see a ‘sign’ and feel like he has to do something (what something is varies from something very specific to just “something”)

since he obviously cant always do what hes supposed to do after seeing the signs, hes started writing down everything so he can do it later (lance’s idea). it helps a lot.

Keith hates places with background noises that arent constant (like they stop and start, stop and start), even if they arent particularly loud, because he loses his entire train of thought whenever it stops or starts

Ok! that’s all I can think of right now, I hope this answered what you were looking for! 

I lost my entire train of thought at least 5 times while typing this so I’ll probably add more things in my tag later on when I think of them again!

I’m also writing an actual story with this, it should come out around the end of June if you’re interested!