#sorry it took very very very long but i fid it:3

[vibeamphibian]

Hey

I tried!

[radio-ghost-cooks]

hhhhhh tensimm brainrot

a drabble about an au i just cooked up where 10 doesn't regen at the end of eot and gets to live a little longer

tags: implied/referenced abuse, blood mention, the time lords are massive assholes, post eot, the drums, 10th doctor, simm!master, tensimm, thoschei, their little head bonk, ten is so in love, touch starved Master (kinda), so much hurt/comfort, author wants to hug the Master, academy era names, he/it Master, they/them Doctor

they could hear it. for the first time in a very long time, the Doctor heard the Drums. they didn't know how. they didn't know why. but they had a sneaking suspicion that it meant the Master was in danger. and despite it all, despite the constant running and fighting and betrayal and animosity, they couldn't leave the light of their life in danger. they managed to break their way into the Void. into the empty nothingness that now housed Gallifrey. it took a long time of fidding with the heart of the Tardis, but they did it. the closer they got to their old home, the louder and clearer the din in their mind became. a rapid beat of 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4. faster than before. weaker.

it took a very long time to find the Master, but when they did, they nearly broke down sobbing. there lay the Master, their Koschei, facedown in the dirt, the foot of some Time Lord planted on the side of his face, old dried blood on his hoodie being overtaken by fresh wounds. insult and injury. a reminder of how the other Time Lords thought of him and the Doctor. this must be their punishment for killing Rassilon, for the old Lord President was nowhere to be found. good. he deserved it, for what he did to Koschei. but Koschei was still shoved into the dirt.

it took a lot of running, bargaining, and knock-outing, but finally, they scooped the Master into their arms and made a mad dash back to safety. far away from Gallifrey. the poor Master, their poor Koschei, was completely exhausted. its back was a map of scars and bruises. its front didn't fare much better. imagine the Doctor's surprise when, as they gently ran their hand down its side, it purred and pressed into it desperately despite being seemingly unconscious.

the Doctor carried him to their bedroom, which the Tardis had made some slight alterations to. the bed was larger, big enough to accommodate both of them. sitting by the foot of it was a pile of clothes; an exact match to the Master's current outfit (minus the blood, obviously).

by that point, the Master had woken up slightly, his eyes finally peeling open and making a little noise of confusion.

"Mmmh?" the Doctor looked down at the Master and smiled softly, a hint of sadness in their eyes. "hullo, Koschei," they hummed, sitting down on the edge of the bed. the Master paused. "you came," he whispered, not daring to believe what was going on. "you called."

the Master would have broken down sobbing if he had the energy. they heard him. they heard the Drums and came for him. he nearly destroyed time itself and yet Theta Sigma still came. he buried himself into their chest, reeling at the sensation of touch that wasn't meant to harm him. he purred a little louder, now the only sound either of them could hear.

"Theta," he whimpered, with tears in his eyes, "Theta, I'm sorry. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you. all I've ever done is put you in danger. I'm so sorry-" "Oi." Theta hugged Koschei closer to them, bringing one hand to its cheek and pressing their foreheads together. "I forgive you. all anyone's ever done is hurt you. s' not your fault."

Theta cradled Koschei in their arms, rocking ever so slightly as tears rolled down his face. but he was happy. happy tears. because for once in their bloody lives, everything felt okay. they were going to be okay.

[awsugar]

do u have any idea if frank is actually vegan? as a vegan plagued with fids this is vital to my livelihood

we all know he was vegetarian for a long time but in a tweet from like 2013 he said he “was” vegetarian so does that mean he started eating animal products again or does it mean he went vegan? like i’ve heard people reference him actually being vegan now, and like i know he eats vegan alternatives, plus i just watched the zach sang interview and they reference him being vegan and he doesn’t correct them but there’s no concrete answer that i know of

sorry if this is so annoying im hesitant to send asks but i thought you may hold the answers 😌

omg ok so its funny that you ask bc i went on a whole rant about this the other night on my server.

so basically we know frank was a vegetarian, that was always just a basic frank fact. i voted for him as peta's sexiest vegetarian in 2008 <3 in 2013 he said on twitter 'i was a vegetarian for about 12 years', "was" being a key word. and then in this interview from 2014 he says he reintroduced fish and poultry to his diet for protein. HOWEVER. and i have paid a lot of attention to this. every time he has posted food on insta since like 2016?? its been vegan, or something that could potentially be vegan and we don't know. but NO meat and no obvious dairy or anything like that. and like i said very often its a vegan restaurant or he says its vegan like the seaweed ice cream and whatnoy. there is actually prosciutto on a pizza from the post about his pizza oven where he teased the blond hair but gianni is holding the pan and theres another pizza he took a pic of in the post that has no meat and the cheese looks weird tbh so it could be vegan cheese, theres also one without cheese at all. theres this insta post where he says "now vegas can get fat too" about cinnamon bun oreos. so like....its interesting. omg also i just searched for something and i found this, he eats vegan even when he's not posting about it. this random vegan cafe in essex posted about him coming in for a burger in 2017 on his uk tour.

like i said ive been paying attention to this for years but then it all came to a head when i also was watching the zach sang interview like a week ago and you're right. not only do they assume he's vegan, and not only does frank not correct them and say he isn't vegan, he literally goes ON about the struggle to find vegan food and how its easier out in LA and thats like the one thing that makes him want to move there or whateever like. yea.

so. basically he's either vegan, or pretending to be vegan. but i'm not sure which one. there's the possibility that he does still eat meat for dietary reasons like he said in 2014, but he doesn't feel GOOD about eating meat so he doesn't promote it. which is cool. but its still pretending to me. i just want to know!!! im not even vegan anymore (although i do want to go vegan again in the future after i like fix my eating habits) but if i found out that frank really is vegan i would be like wowwww 😍😍 *twirls one inch hair hair* frank vegan...

anyway im sorry it took me all day to answer this, don't be afraid to send me asks!!! i love to talk about this stuff. but i get a lot of them so it usually takes me a day or so to respond :)

[totallysharkycomplete]

Waiting For You Part Two (Ford Pines x Reader) Idea of It

She can’t seem to keep her eyes dry as she says goodbye to her friends as she awaits to board her bus for Roswell. Fids receives a big hug and a kiss on his cheek, which turns him red. Ford receives the longest hug ever and many kisses until the bus does a last call. Teary eyed she gets on the bus going to the window to wave goodbye, and wave until her friend’s are out of sight.

Ford sighs, a heavy weight in his chest. “A whole year,” he says to no one in particular.

“Better make the most of it.” Fids says.

And Ford does. Before he is even settled into Gravity Falls anomalies begin jumping out at him left and right. His expectations are not only met but exceeded by everything he manages to find or run into.

She and Ford had agreed to write and call as often as possible, however they were both swept into their research and a month passed. Ford is disturbed by his research when there is a knock on his door. He finds a mail carrier on his porch.

“Letter for Ford Pine?” They ask.

“Yes, that’s me.” He informs them and they pass over the letter.

Ford looks at the envelope, on the front is written:

FORD PINES RANDOM CABIN IN MIDDLE OF WOODS? GRAVITY FALLS, OREGON

The return address is from his girlfriend in Roswell, New Mexico. Ford eagle receded back into the house and tore open the letter, but took care to not tear the little ufo drawing she had scribbled onto the back. Inside the message reads:

Stanford! <3 <3 <3

I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to write but I assume we are both extremely busy with research. Also, I never received your address or phone number.

Most days spent here are almost like an archeology dig, we’ve found nothing alive but many fossils and bones. Drop me a line or write as soon as you can. I love and miss you so much!

The bottom was signed with her name and a little kiss mark. He immediately felt guilty for not contacting her sooner. The cabin didn’t even have a phone line hooked up to it yet.

Ford sat down right away to write a reply. He filled his letter with drawings and talked all about the amazing things he had seen, as well as apologize for the long radio silence. When he was done he went and mailed his letter, receiving many strange looks while in town. He also went and got signed up to have someone come and install a phone line.

She received her letter a few days later. As she read all about the wonderful things Ford was doing, she couldn't help but feel envious, and a little sad. While her boyfriend was galavanting around the woods talking to mythical creatures, she was stuck in a hot desert digging up fossils. Fossils were cool and all and she knows they are an important part of discovering the past, but she wanted real living and breathing creatures.

The letter continued back and forth until Ford got connected to a phone line. It had taken a while and snow had just begun to fall. He called her as soon as it was. Anxiously he waits while the phone rings.

“Hello?” A voice answers from the other side.

“Hello? Yes, this is Stanford Pines I’m trying to get ahold of-,” he's cut off by the person on the other end.

“Ford!” She squeals. “You got a phone line!”

He can’t help but to chuckle. “I did, I’m sorry it took so long.” He sighs, his heart feeling content at the sound of her voice. “I hadn’t realised how much I had missed your voice.”

She giggles. “I’ve missed your voice too. So tell me, is Gravity Falls everything you’d hoped it would be?”

“All that and more.” He tells her.

They talked for over an hour before she had to get off the phone.

“We have a meeting during dinner.” She pouts. “But I’ll call you soon.”

“I’m looking forward to it.” He smiles, but stops when he hears her sniffle. He calls her name in question. “Everything okay?”

She sniffs again. “I’m fine. I just really miss you.” Her voice is small and quiet. “This isn’t really turning out to be what I wanted, and I’m a little jealous of you.” She confessed.

Ford sighs, his heart breaks at fact his love isn’t happy. “Just six more months and you’ll be here with me. You just have to hold out a little bit longer.”

She sighs. “I know, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

To their surprise, she joined Ford sooner than either of them thought she would. That night at her diner meeting the lead researcher wasn’t there. Instead they were informed that he had been arrested due to fraudulent charges. The research he had used to get his grant was stolen and fake. The research program was ending and everyone needed to be out by the end of the week.

As soon as she was back in her dorm she tried to call Ford, the phone rang, and rang, and rang. He must not have an answering machine yet, she thinks.

She wished he would pick up because she was going through so many emotions at once. Happy to be seeing Ford, disappointed all the work she had done was for nothing. Worried Ford wouldn’t be excited to see her early, anxious he wouldn’t want her there yet.

Ford of course wanted her there now. To occupy himself he trudged through the snow trying to find some kind of snow beast he had heard about. He was elated when he found it, but unfortunately it wasn’t as excited to see him as he was excited to see it.

Ford was scribbling down notes in his journal when he took a step forward to try and get a better look. He stepped on a twig and it snapped. The beast turned around and came barreling towards him.

Ford tried to run, but the breast was much larger and faster. It reached up to him and swatted at him with one mighty arm. Ford flew across the forest and slammed into a tree, hitting his head and arm pretty bad. He slumped onto the ground vision blurred, a small stream of blood coming from a cut above his eyebrow.

The beast began walking towards him when a small whining sound, almost like the cry of a baby black bear stopped it. The last thing Ford saw before he passed out was the beast walking away to its baby. ---------- When Ford awoke he was surrounded by bright lights. His vision sorted itself out to see he was in a hospital bed, his arm in a sling and he could feel he had a bandage wrapped around his head. His free hand was being held by a much smaller hand.

Looking down, Ford saw her. She was sitting cross legged in a chair that was pulled up right next to the bed. Her arm was used as a makeshift pillow under her sleeping head on the bed, her soft warm hand held his.

His smile grew even though he was unsure as to how and why she was here. He brought his girlfriend's hand upto his mouth and gave it a small kiss. The gesture caused her to stir.

She sat up and rubbed her eyes with her free hand. “Ford?” She mewled. Her smile grew ear to ear before turning into a scowl. “Stanford Filbrick Pines.”

His smile fell as well and his face turned to shock.

“Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?” She begins. “I called you and called you and got no reply, then I showed up here to find you in the hospital! And the nurses tell me you sat unconscious in the snow for hours? What were you thinking?” Her lip quivered.

Ford thought of a bunch of excuses before deciding what to say. “I’m sorry,” he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. “I had no idea the beast would see me, I’m sorry I caused you to worry.” He kisses her hand again. “But I’m so happy you are here.”

She quickly wipes away a tear, trying to still look mad but not doing a very good job at it. She stands quickly and leans over the bed to hug him. “I missed you so much.” She pulls back and he examines her face with a quizzical brow.

“But, why are you here?” He inquires.

She goes on to explain the situation. Then she explains how when she found the cabin empty she began to ask around, someone said one of the local lumberjacks had found “the scientist from the cabin in the woods” unconscious and bleeding in the middle of the forest, which led her to the hospital.

“You’ve been unconscious for almost two weeks.” She explains. “You’re mother is calling me everyday worried sick.

“You told my mother?” Ford looked mortified.

“Of course I did, Ford.” She gave him a soft smile. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Before Ford could voice his thoughts against worrying his mother, a nurse came in. “Mrs.Pines, pardon me but,” the nurse froze. “Mr.Pines, you’re awake! Let me go get the doctor.” They scurried out of the room.

Ford looks at his girlfriend to see her face bright red. “Mrs.Pines, huh?” He smirks.

“They were only letting family in to see you.” She looks away embarrassed. “And I thought it’s be weird to lie and say I was your sister. I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine.” He assures her. “I actually like the sound of that. Mrs.Pines.”

She makes a choked out noise, stumbling over her words before the doctor walks in, interrupting the conversation.

After taking his vital signs and making sure he had no memory loss, the doctor okayed for him to leave the hospital the next day, as long as his wife promised to keep him on bedrest the next five days.

Ford and her spent the next few hours talking. They ate dinner. They also called Ford’s mom who talked on and on about how relieved she was that he was okay, and about how happy she was he found a nice girl like her, and how he should stop “dragging his feet before someone else proposes to her.”

She yawned and laid her head on the bed.

“You don’t have to stay up for me. The armchair lays back if you'd like to sleep.” He smiles.

She murmurs something back, muffled by the sheets. He asks her to repeat herself. “I said,” she sits up red in the face, avoiding eye contact. “I don’t want to be that far from you.”

He chuckles and scoots as far to one side of the bed as he can. “Well then?”

She slowly makes her way onto the bed, avoiding all the wires he’s hooked up to, and his injured arm. Her head lays against his shoulder and she falls fast asleep, Ford not far behind her.

The next day Ford was discharged and instructed to keep on bedrest the next five days. They had taken a cab from the hospital back to the cabin.

Once inside Ford gave her a formal tour, since before she had only looked around for him before asking around town and finding him in the hospital.

“Ford this is all amazing, but you need to get to your bed now.” She begins ushering him towards his bedroom.

He frowns. “You’re not serious are you? I thought you just told the doctor that to get me out of there. We have too much work to do, I’m perfectly fine.” He stops his bickering when she lightly pushes his arm, he winces and pulls away.

“Doctors orders.” She sits him down on the bed. “If you don’t heal all the way and get hurt again it'll just take up more time.”

He sighed knowing she was right. She’s still standing so he places his hands on her hips and pulls her to him. He wraps his arms around her waist and hugs her. She reciprocates by wrapping her arms around his head. They stay there for a moment in time.

The wind begins to pick up and the window rattles. A shiver runs down Ford’s spine. She pulls back and plants a kiss to the top of his head. “Stay here and I’ll make us some lunch.”

Begrudgingly he lets go of her. She returns half an hour later to find him going over his notes by his bed. They share lunch and set the dishes aside. She snuggles close to his side one the bed as he takes out his journal marked one.

“Is there more than one?” She asks.

“Not currently, but who knows how much I could write about here. I can’t wait to show you.” He opens to the first page telling her exactly how he found each anomaly and his encounter with it. After flipping through a few pages he comes to a page and gets really excited. “This, I have a sample of in the lab! Let me get it and show you.” He begins to rise from the bed before her hand grabs his and pulls him back down.

“I don’t think so.” She teases.

He rolls his eyes. “It’s not that far I’d be fine. Plus what am I supposed to do in bed for five days?”

The way she smiles is very mischievous. “You could read over your notes, or read some books, or…” She takes this opportunity to straddle his lap and place her forehead on his. “I'm sure we could find something else to do.”

His hand comes up to cup her cheek and he sighs. “God, I’ve missed you.” He tilts his chin up to begin kissing her. The kisses start off lazy but grow more passionate. She feels him start to grow hard under him and she grinds into his lap, causing him to moan into the kiss.

He tries to flip her around onto the bed but winces when he pulls his injured arm wrong. She stops him by putting her hand on his shoulders. “Let me,” she begins to move down, and starts undoing his pants.

“You don’t have to, ah,” he moans out as she frees his erection.

“I know, but I want to.” She plants a kiss on the top of the pink head before licking up it.

Even though they had been together many times during college, she had never done this to him before.

Ford leaned his head back, looking down at her with eyes half lidded. His hand came to lightly hold her hair, not pulling her hair or pushing her down. He can’t help when a moan escapes his lips as she takes him all the way into her throat with a slight gag. She continues for a few more minutes, enjoying the sound she's getting him to make, before pulling away.

She stands and rids herself quickly of her clothes before crawling back over to him and straddling his lap.

“You don’t want me to return the favor?” He smirks against her lip.

She hums in thought. “We have plenty of time for you to do that.” Her hand reaches down to his member and begins to line herself up, before slowly sliding down onto him.

They both let out a groan of pleasure at the same time before giggling.

The next few days are spent in bed, cuddling, fooling around, and reading Ford’s journal.

As soon as the sixth day they were home came, Ford was up out of bed at the crack of dawn, pulling her up with him. “I have so much I want to show you.”

The next few days were filled with exploring and notes taking. Ford showed her all his favorite things he had discovered. The days turned to weeks, the weeks to months.

Before they knew it they had been together in Gravity Falls for almost five years, living in domestic bliss. She had gotten to live out her dream of experiencing the unusual almost everyday, happy to be by Ford’s side.

One day while she was sick Ford went into town to get some supplies to make soup. He walked past a jewelry store he did everytime he was in town but this time something caught his eye.

A ring with a small circular plate, with small blue emeralds around the middle. He laughed, it reminded him so much of a ufo. He went inside to inquire about it.

“That old thing? Nobody ever wants to buy it. I’ll give it to you for fifty bucks.” The store owner said.

Ford bit the side of his cheek in contemplation before agreeing on the price. He tucked the ring box into a safe pocket for a later day. ---------- She paced back and forth in the kitchen. Ford walked in and watched her in confusion before making his presence known.

“Darling, what seems to be the matter?” Ford’s voice causes her to jump and stop her pacing.

“Well I, uh,” she looks at her hand and moves them in a nervous gesture.

Ford makes his way to her and takes her hands in his much larger ones. “You can tell me. Whatever it is.” He assures her.

She sighs. “Well I, um, don’t know for sure, but…” She thinks about her words carefully. “I know we’ve never talked about this but,” she stops and thinks again. She continues at almost a whisper. “Ford, I might be pregnant.”

There’s a beat of silence before Ford picks her up and spins her around, bringing her in for a kiss. “That’s magnificent!” He beams.

She lets out a sigh of relief, resting her head against his chest. “That’s a relief, I didn’t know how you’d react, we’ve never talked about kids before. But like I said, I don’t know for sure.”

“I’d love to start a family with you.” He kisses the top of his head. “We’ll wait and see what happens.”

“You have no idea how happy that makes me hear you say that.” She smiles.

A few weeks later she finds out she wasn’t actually pregnant. However, this led to her and Ford sitting down to discuss the possibility of having children in the future, which they both loved the idea of, when they were less occupied with work. ---------- She had noticed Ford acting strange recently. He was becoming more distant, spending time alone to meditate, which he had never done before. She knew the stress of this project was heavy. Building a portal to other dimensions wouldn’t be easy of course, but she had no idea it would stress him out so bad.

She sighed loudly, wrapping her hands around a warm cup of tea at the kitchen table.

“What’s bothering you, darling?” Fiddleford made his way into the room and sat down across from her. He had been living with her and Ford since helping with this project.

“Ford,” she confesses. “He just hasn’t been himself recently. I guess maybe it’s just the stress of all this.”

Fids nods in understanding. “I’ve noticed it too. He’s definitely not the same man I knew in college, but that was almost six years ago.”

She shakes her head in disagreement. “I mean, he’s matured as a person, we both have, but,” her brows furrow in thought. “This change is recent. I just feel like there’s something he’s not telling me.”

The conversation was interrupted by Ford barreling into the room with a large smile on his face. “There you are!” He walks over to her and plants a kiss on the top of her head. “I’ve got something amazing to show you.”

She stands up and so does Fiddleford. Ford makes eye contact with him and shakes his head no, and points to his own ring finger, signaling to his friend what he had planned. She doesn’t see the interaction and is left confused when Fids excuses himself, making an excuse why he can’t come.

“It’s a little bit of a walk,” Ford explains as they make their way out the door. “But it will be worth it, promise.” He takes her hand in his and she gives him a weak smile. “Is everything alright?”

“Ford, I feel like you’re hiding something from me.” She confesses as they continue to walk.

Ford's face heats up. “I have.”

The emotion on her face is somewhere between confusion and hurt and her eyes search his face for an answer.

“I’ll explain, I promise.” He kisses the back of her hand.

Not much more is said on the long walk. The sun is beginning to set.

“Not that I’m not enjoying this walk with you, Fordise, but are we almost here?” She asks.

“Just a few more minutes.”

And he was right. A few minutes later they arrived on a hill that overlooks Gravity Falls. She sees there’s a small blanket set up with a basket. The sun had fallen just below the horizon. Her heart felt overjoyed yet anxious with what Ford had to say.

They sit together and look out over the town. He pulls her close to his side and begins to explain himself. He explains about Bill and how he’d been helping him, and how he had summoned him. She sits in silence and listens, her face unreadable to Ford. When he finishes he watches her for a reaction.

“Ford,” she says quietly before scowling. “That’s so incredibly stupid and risky!” She pushes his shoulder and not in a playful way before crossing her arms in front of herself. “And you didn’t stop to ask my opinion or tell me until now?” She's looking away but he can see the tears in her eyes.

“I know it was wrong of me to not be honest with you and I apologize.” He tried to take her hand but she pulled away.

“Did you even stop to think about what would happen if he wasn’t good? Ford, what if he had taken over your mind and I lost you? Did you think about how that would affect me, Ford? I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.” She wipes away a single tear.

“I was selfish. I didn’t take into account your feelings and I won’t be so foolish again.” This time she lets him take her hand. “I feel the same way about you. I couldn’t live without you. Can you ever forgive me?”

She looks at him with a pout on her face and lets out a heavy sigh. “I can’t stay mad at you for being sure a nerd.”

He chuckles. “You’re a nerd too.” He reminds her.

“I just forgave you and now you insult me?” Now she laughs.

He apologizes again before pulling the picnic basket over and pulling out a few items for them to enjoy.

When they were almost done eating Ford cleared his throat. “So I know you’re opposed to the idea of Bill, but he helped me unveil one of Gravity Falls biggest mysteries.”

Her eyes lit up at the idea. “Which one?”

He points out the horizon as the last bit of light begins to fade from the sky. “The most unnatural cliff formation. Doesn’t it look familiar to you?”

She examines it for a minute. “No way.” She takes another second to look at it, eyes growing wide. “Shut up!” She exclaimed and stood up in disbelief. “Is it really? A U.F.O., Ford?” Her eyes fixed on the cliffs not looking away.

Ford chuckles. “It is.”

“How, when, where?” She breathed out.

“I’m not sure about when and how, but where, you’re standing on it.” He smiles at her, her eyes locked on the cliff.

She whips her head around at him in disbelief but freezes when she sees him. He’s down on one knee, elbow on his knee with hand extended. He held a small black box in his hand. She brings her hand to her face and covers her mouth.

“I meant what I said earlier. I can’t live without you,” he gives a nervous chuckle. “I practiced what I was going to say a thousand time but can’t remember it now. But I love you and if you’d like, I’d love to always have you by my side.”

“Ford, I…” She breathes out.

“Please say yes,” he jokes. “Or I’ll look like a big idiot.”

She laughs before nodding yes. He takes the ring and places it on her finger, before she tackles him to the ground in a hug. They both laugh as she sits up to give him a loving kiss.

“Do you want to go inside and explore?” He smiles against her lips.

“More than anything.” --------- A few months later the gateway is almost complete when the accident happens. She is at the control panels when Fiddleford is accidentally pulled through the portal with the test dummy, before Ford pulls him back out.

She runs to their side just as Fids begins to speak in tongues. He gets up and begins to argue with Ford, announcing he’s done with the project before storming out.

She looks at Ford in disbelief.

Ford sighed. “We might need some outside help.” ---------- Ford had asked you to wait near the portal while he talked to his brother. She sat in the corner at a small desk while Ford explained everything to his brother. She was taken aback when Ford told his brother to take the journal and never come back. They began fighting and she yelled for them to stop, but her words fell on deaf ears, and the portal was accidentally switched on. All she could do was watch in horror as Ford’s brother pushed him, and he fell through.

She ran up to the portal right as it powered down and Ford’s brother began to yell.

She fell to her knees and stared at the portal in disbelief. “Ford, oh god.” She sobbed.

The twin looked over at her with a frown, he had noticed she was there from the start but didn’t ask who she was. “Can we, can we get him back?” He asks.

She looks up at him teary eyed. “Not without the other journals. He wouldn’t tell me where he hid them. He didn’t want me in danger, he,” she stops and swallows back tears, unwilling to cry anymore in front of this stranger.

“What’re you his wife or something?” He stupidly asks.

“I,” she looks up at the portal, “I was going to be.”

[ila9182]

Major Crimes dialogue prompts, 3? Thank you! (Sorry if you get this twice, I got an error message the first time).

Thank you so much Mikki @mksc77 for the ask! 💜 No worries, I only received this once. So this is what I came up with, it’s a very long prompt, I hope it’s okay. I couldn’t stop writing! haha I hope you will like this story!

This story takes place somewhere between season 3 and 4.

Warnings: addiction, alcohol.

As always, mistakes are all mine.

-----------------

3. “It’s three in the morning.”

Sharon Raydor loved being right and she objectively always was, but now as she was driving in the middle of the night, grasping the steering wheel firmly, her knuckles turning white, she hoped for the first time in her life to be wrong. To be awfully wrong. Sharon couldn’t ignore the sense of distress that had tightened her chest the moment she had met Andy’s eyes. He was about to go home after the draining case they had just closed. She would have wanted to talk to him, to check on him, but somehow Provenza had beaten her to it. The Lieutenant had patted Andy’s shoulder and had mumbled a few words to him before they had left together. Sharon’s eyes had followed them until they had disappeared from her sight, but the sudden feeling in her chest kept nagging her and it hadn’t stopped yet.

Sharon had always trusted her gut and she rarely regretted it. There was something in Andy’s eyes, something haunting and distressing she couldn’t ignore. Not when it was about Andy. Her friend. Her best friend. One of the few people she deeply cared about.

Sharon parked her car in the driveway, just behind Andy’s. She got out and closed the car door before taking a deep breath. Maybe she was just overreacting and Andy would joke for months about the night she showed up at his door. Or maybe not… Sharon noticed the light was on in the living room and she quickly reached the front door. She knocked and waited patiently for Andy to open the door. Nothing. Sharon glanced again at the living room window and shook her head.

“Andy, come on, I know you’re here.” Sharon called to him, leaning lightly against the door. She knocked again, more insistently this time. She could have sworn she heard footsteps on the other side of the door. Sharon sighed and was about to knock again when the door opened to reveal Andy, in a white undershirt and a pair of jeans.

“Sharon, what are you doing here? It’s three in the morning.” Andy’s voice was hoarser than usual and it took Sharon a little aback.

Sharon didn’t answer right away. She studied him silently. His features, his posture… Andy had crossed his arms over his chest defensively. “I wanted to make sure you are fine.” Sharon merely replied. “Are you going to let me in?” She asked, lifting an eyebrow at his unusual lack of manners. She could sense he was about to object and she added, “And don’t tell me you were sleeping, the light is on in the living room.”

“Sharon, it’s late.” Andy sighed, his unwillingness to let her in worrying Sharon even more. “I am exhausted and…”

“Andy.” Sharon cut him short before he came up with an excuse. She was about to speak again when she caught a glimpse of something on the kitchen counter. The words died in her throat and she slowly closed her mouth. Shock hit her hard in her chest, the tightening feeling back once again. She knew she should have counted to ten before reacting, but she had no control over her reactions anymore. “What the hell, Andy?!” Sharon exclaimed in a half-worried, half-angry tone. She caught Andy by surprise and shoved him away from the door. She walked hurriedly to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle in her hand, “What is this?” She asked him urgently, waving the bottle in front of him.

“You know what it is.” Andy merely answered with a shrug before taking the bottle of liquor from her hand and placing it on the kitchen counter again. “As you can see, it is still sealed. I’ve been staring at it for thirty minutes now.” He turned his back to her and added, “So yell at me and go home. You need to rest.”

Sharon took a deep breath in an attempt to control her burgeoning anger. He wasn’t going to dismiss her like that. “Oh no, Andy, you’re not going to get yourself out of it so easily!” She replied, grabbing his upper arm and forcing him to face her. “Andy, look at me!” She ordered him, her voice firm, but shaking regardless.

The look Sharon saw in Andy’s eyes sent a shiver down her spine. This wasn’t the Andy she knew. She noticed the imperceptible change in his features and posture. Indifference was quickly replaced by anger as it flashed in his eyes. Sharon was well aware of what was going to happen; she was going to take the brunt of it. It felt to her as if she was looking at some old version of Andy, one she hadn’t seen in awhile. She didn’t like what she was seeing. “So what? Go ahead, Captain, write me up!” Andy shot back, irritated.

Oh that attitude! It felt like going back to her FID times when Flynn and his hot-headedness were one of the main problems she had to deal with. If he wanted to play that game, she wasn’t to let him win that easily. Sharon pointed a threatening finger at Andy, “You’re going to lose that attitude immediately.”

“Oh I’m sorry, is my tone too rude for you, Captain?” Andy snapped in a mocking tone, a hand on his chest to fake mortification.

“Oh drop it, Andy!” Sharon shushed him angrily. She bit her inner cheek as she fought to remain calm. She was furious, yes, but she couldn’t lose control. This wasn’t the best way to deal with this complicated situation. Andy – no matter how stubborn and surly he could be – didn’t need her anger. He had already a lot of anger, frustration and guilt bottled up. Sharon studied Andy silently. Her face softened, just as her voice as she went on, weighing each word, “I know what happened today was devastating, Andy, and…”

“You know nothing, Sharon.” Andy cut her short in a sharp tone. His posture changed as he wrapped his arms tightly around himself. Always on the defensive. Sharon was aware she had hit a nerve. The reason why she had been standing in his kitchen at three in the morning, a bottle of liquor between them.

“You’re right, I know nothing.” Sharon agreed quietly. “Then talk to me, Andy.” She whispered to him softly with pleading eyes. “Don’t keep this bottled up, it will destroy you.” She added, glancing worriedly at the bottle on the counter. It is already destroying him, Sharon thought.“Talk to me, I’m here for you.”

Andy stared at her silently. Worry was etched on her face, but her eyes, above all, were giving her away. He held her gaze and what he read in her usually beautiful eyes, now suddenly so dull, destabilized him. Fear, pain, helplessness, so rare and foreign on her. Andy’s shoulders slumped at the thought that he was doing this to Sharon. He shook his head and looked down before he turned his back to her. “You shouldn’t be here, Sharon.”

“Why?” Sharon asked softly, as she neared him and placed her hand on his shoulder. She felt him tense under her touch. For a split second she considered pulling her hand away until she felt his body relax again.

“You don’t need to see this.” Andy muttered quietly after a few seconds of silence.

Sharon shook her head. “Andy, I care about you.” She rubbed his shoulder gently before adding, “I’m your friend.”

Friend, right. Andy scoffed before he let out a heavy sigh. He would rather not go into that topic again. He couldn’t help but remember Sharon’s reaction after Nicole’s visit at their workplace a few months ago. It had been a clear indication that she would never think of them as more than friends, the thought probably upsetting her and he couldn’t blame her. No one in their right mind would want to be with someone like him. Someone so weak and screwed up. An alcoholic above all.

“I fucked up.” The words left Andy’s mouth before he even realized it. He wasn’t even sure to what he was alluding. There were definitely way too many things that he had screwed up.

“No, you didn’t Andy.” Sharon replied softly as she moved around him in an attempt to see his face, her hand still resting on his shoulder. “You didn’t drink, remember?” She offered him with a hopeful smile.

“I let her die.” Andy added, his voice above a whisper.

Sharon had to lean in to make sure she had heard him correctly. She shook her head vehemently and replied, her voice firm but gentle, “No, Andy, no. Absolutely not.” She moved her hand from his shoulder to his upper arm, nudging him to face her.

Andy turned around, but he immediately looked down. He couldn’t sustain her intense gaze anymore. “Go home, Sharon.” He whispered in a defeated tone, “There is no need for you to see the ugly part of me.”

“I’m not leaving you, Andy.” Sharon replied in a soft but resolute tone. “Even if you won’t admit it, you need someone right now… and I’m here for you, Andy. I’ll be damned if I’ll let you throw away 17 years of sobriety like that.” She added, squeezing his arm as she tried to get his attention. She wished Andy would look at her, but instead he kept staring at his feet.

“This is how it happens, Sharon.” Andy shrugged, his eyes still on the floor. “I will always be an alcoholic and tonight I fell off the wagon…”

“You did not, Andy.” Sharon corrected him. “The bottle is still sealed and I’m proud of you for not having a drink.” She squeezed his arm hoping to get his attention, but it didn’t work. “And I’m glad I’m here right now because I won’t let you fall off the wagon, Andy.” She released her hold on his arm and moved her hand to his face. Her thumb was tender as she lifted his chin. Once his eyes met hers hesitantly, she told him, emphasizing each word, “I got you.”

Her tone was resolute, but gentle. Andy stared at Sharon silently; she looked so strong, determined. He knew that look in her eyes; he had seen it in a few occasions, lately when Rusty had been in danger. It was the look that said that she was ready to fight a thousand battles, ready to go to hell and back. She wouldn’t take a break before she fixed everything. Andy never thought he would have seen that look in her eyes for him.

“I don’t deserve it, Sharon.” Andy let out, defeated. I don’t deserve you. He shook his head and added, “I don’t deserve saving after I let that woman die today.” He sighed and diverted his gaze away from hers. He pulled back, breaking the contact between them, Sharon’s hand suspended briefly in the air before she let her arm fall back to her side.

Andy sighed again and walked to the couch where he let himself fall on it unceremoniously. He rested his elbows on his knees, and then dropped his head into his hands. Sharon’s eyes never left his figure, observing him carefully before she joined him quietly. She was still standing next to the couch when Andy, sensing her presence, whispered, “I just wanted to forget about today… I wanted to get rid of her face, of her frightened eyes, of her hand slipping from mine…” He paused and closed his eyes briefly, as he felt a lump form in his throat. “And then her cries and that fucking sound of her body hitting the ground.” He added with a labored breath, “I want this out of my brain and I was ready to knock myself out to forget, but I wasn’t brave enough to do so…”

“No.” Sharon stopped him firmly as she sat down next to him. “No.” She repeated once again and scooted closer. She put her hand on his back and started rubbing it in a soothing way. “You were brave enough not to do so.” Sharon corrected him. “What happened on that roof today was horrific, but this is not your fault, you hear me Andy?” She went on, leaning closer, almost whispering in his ear, “You grabbed the woman’s hand before she fell off the roof, you held onto her with all your strength, you tried to save her, Andy…”

“Twenty-four seconds.” Andy told her blankly. “Twenty-four seconds.” He repeated and Sharon frowned, wondering what he was talking about. “Sanchez arrived on the roof twenty-four seconds after she slipped from my grasp and crashed on the street.” He whispered in a broken voice. “Twenty-four fucking seconds and she would be alive!” He burst out.

Sharon jumped lightly at the sudden outburst. Her eyes filled with tears, her own heart breaking along with Andy’s. She could feel his guilt consuming him with every second he spent thinking of today’s case. His guilt was not only tearing him apart, but Sharon as well.

“I know…” Sharon replied quietly, her hand still caressing his back. “I won’t let you beat yourself up about something you had no control over. She couldn’t hold onto you any longer, she didn’t have any strength left, Andy. You tried your best, but her hand slipped from yours. You couldn’t have avoided that.” She paused when she noticed Andy close his eyes and draw a shaky breath. “I’m here with you, Andy and I swear, we’ll get through this together.” She reassured him, her hand moving to stroke the back of his neck.

“You don’t have to do this…” Andy whispered to her, shaking his head.

“I want to because I care about you, Andy.” Sharon replied truthfully, “I care about you too much to let you destroy yourself like that.” She told him, her own voice trembling lightly. “You’ve worked so hard to get where you are now, you’ve accomplished so much…” Her hand went back rubbing his back soothingly, “I won’t let you lose everything. I promise you that, Andy.”

“Why?” Andy merely asked, tiredly.

“Why what, Andy?” Sharon repeated, frowning.

“Why do you care so much if I start drinking again or not?” Andy wondered, his voice above a whisper as he avoided her questioning eyes.

Sharon looked at him horrified. How could he ask her that? She moved her hand away from his back slowly, her eyes glued on the man next to her. Andy wasn’t even looking at her, but she had detected the pain in his voice. Then it hit her. Following the misunderstanding with Nicole, Sharon had gradually distanced herself from Andy. Yes, she had been busy with work, especially with Stroh on the loose, but she was also aware that she had used the work excuse with Andy a lot lately; to decline an invitation to lunch or dinner, to avoid an afternoon out with him… Sharon felt a lump in her throat when she realized how much she must have hurt him with her behavior. She had chosen the easy way-out, running away, because facing the fact that what they had was maybe more than a friendship terrified her. She had sent him the wrong message when she had been actually too afraid to process her own feelings. Sharon’s heart broke at the thought that Andy would have never called her tonight to ask for help because her recent behavior made him believe that she didn’t care. She felt sick at the thought that he could have drowned his sorrows in alcohol. He could have relapsed, alone in his living room with a bottle of cheap liquor because he felt he couldn’t talk to her anymore, because he felt she wasn’t there for him anymore.

Tears threatened to fall down her cheeks, but Sharon held them back as she reached for his hand. “Andy, you’re my friend, my best friend.” She told him truthfully. She couldn’t control the trembling of her voice, but she didn’t care anymore. Maybe if he saw how stricken she was, he would have believed her next words. “I care about you more than you can imagine. I’m sorry I pushed you away lately, you’ve been anything but amazing to me and I haven’t been half as good with you. I’m so sorry if you thought I didn’t care about you, Andy. I do. God knows how much I do…”

Sharon’s fingers intertwined with Andy’s and she gave his hand a soft squeeze. Andy finally looked up to meet her gaze, still processing the words Sharon had just said to him. So much unsaid. They both knew they had to address their friendship. Endless discussions could be made about it, but neither of them bothered to add something.

Andy went back staring at their intertwined hands before he whispered, “I care about you too much to put you through this…” His voice trailed off and he met her eyes again when he added in a serious tone, “Again.”

Of course, Andy was going to address the problem. She had already been through a lot with her ex-husband. Sharon shook her head vehemently. Jack. Andy was nothing like Jack. She needed Andy to understand that. “This is very different and you know it.” Sharon replied softly as her thumb stroked the back of Andy’s hand delicately.

“I can’t ask you that.” Andy shook his head. “You could get hurt in the process, Sharon...” He told her, as he ran through all of the possible scenarios in his mind. Who knows what the future holds? He had nearly relapsed tonight. What if he would relapse one day and she would have to deal with him? He would hurt her, just as much as Jack had hurt her during all those years. Andy couldn’t allow that to happen.

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take.” Sharon answered without any kind of hesitation. For you. Her tone was firm and resolute, her eyes gentle and caring, leaving no doubt on the feelings she felt deep down.

“It’s a risk I can’t allow you to take.” Andy whispered, diverting his gaze from hers, unable to sustain it any longer. He looked down at their hands and added in a defeated tone, “You can’t save everyone, Sharon.”

“I don’t want to save everyone, Andy. I want to save you.” Sharon’s answer was quick and unexpected, even for her.

Silence fell between them as they both processed the words that were exchanged. Andy met Sharon’s gaze hesitantly and he was taken aback when he found her mesmerizing green eyes staring at him. There was intensity inside them that he wasn’t sure he had seen before. Her eyes burned a hole through him and suddenly he realized that what made her eyes so different was the intensity of the feelings inside them. Feelings they had never acknowledged out loud, but that had been there for a while now. Those same feelings he had kept buried deep down, too afraid to let them show and ruin everything between them. He noticed those same feelings mirrored in Sharon’s eyes for the first time and he cursed himself for being so weak, for being an alcoholic, for being unworthy of her love.

Andy let go of her hand. He took a deep breath and told her firmly, “I can’t let you do that, Sharon.”

“Why?” Sharon asked, her voice shaking lightly as she tried to hide the fear she felt deep down. She had been transparent with him, she had surprisingly let her feelings show and the thought that he might just not feel the same crept through her, unsettling her.

“This is not the life you deserve.” Andy merely replied.

Sharon had a hard time holding back a smile or restraining herself from smacking his arm; she couldn’t tell. Of course, Andy would have claimed to know better. “I think that choosing what I deserve is up to me, not you, Andy.” Sharon replied firmly.

Here she was, Sharon Raydor and her determination. Her fierce independence. She had made up her mind and Andy knew he wouldn’t be able to talk her down from it… not without hurting her badly in the process.

Somehow, Sharon knew exactly what Andy was thinking. She never ceased to amaze him. “I know what’s going on in your mind. Don’t even dare to think about it.” Sharon told Andy softly, her hand cupping his cheek gently. “You won’t push me away. I won’t let you.”

Sharon expected him to tell her once again she deserved better, she expected him to break the contact between them or even to yell at her to leave, but Andy’s reaction totally took her by surprise. She felt his jaw clenching under her hand, and she noticed his eyes welling up with tears and his lips quivering lightly. It didn’t take much before the dam burst. A sob escaped his lips and he turned away from her, breaking the contact between them. Andy didn’t want to cry in front of her, but all his strength was suddenly gone. His body started to tremble as tears ran down his face. Another sob racked his body before he finally let his pain free.

It took a few seconds for Sharon to react, her own heart breaking at the sight of Andy in so much pain. She wrapped her arms around him, her embrace strong as a silent message that she would be with him from now on. She rested her head on his shoulder blade, feeling his body shake against her. She wasn’t going to let him go. Not now, not ever.

Sharon didn’t know how long they stayed like this. Slowly she felt Andy move and lifted her head from his shoulder blade. He turned hesitantly toward her with a tear-streaked face and still glistening eyes. Sharon cupped his face with both hands delicately, her thumbs caressing soothingly his cheeks and drying the watery paths left by his tears. Andy closed her eyes at her gentle touch, fresh tears escaping his eyes as he did so. Sharon caught them with her thumb and wiped them away. When he reopened his eyes, he was met by a small loving smile.

“I’m not worth it, Sharon…” Andy told her quietly, as he blinked away the moisture in his eyes.

“Ssh…” Sharon whispered to him, and placed her thumb over his lips. “It’s not up to you to decide that. You are so worth it, Andrew Flynn.” She traced the outline of his lips with her thumb as she kept staring at him in the eyes. “And I’m proud of you for not drinking tonight, you hear me? I am proud of you.” She repeated emphasizing every word. “You’ve had a bumpy ride today, but it doesn’t mean that the rest of the road will be the same way. It won’t be that way.” She reassured him, both hands cupping his face. “What’s important now is for you to get back on track, and I’m here to help and support you through it.” Sharon paused as she considered her next words, “Tomorrow morning I’ll drive you to a meeting, how does it sound to you?” She offered with an encouraging smile.

This was the first step. Maybe talking to a therapist would help Andy process what happened on that roof, but Sharon wouldn’t pressure him. They were going to make it through one step at a time.  

“I think it’s a good idea.” Andy agreed with a shy smile. “I need to talk to my sponsor.”

“Good.” Sharon smiled softly at him, letting go of his face to take his hands in hers. “You’ll get through this, Andy.”

Andy nodded and looked down at their hands. He stroked the back of her hands with his thumbs gently before meeting her gaze again, “Thank you, Sharon.” He told her with a wavering tone, overcome with emotion.

Sharon shook her head as a smile graced her features. She tugged on his hands and once Andy got closer, Sharon slid her arms around him, hugging him tight. Andy wrapped his arms around her and smiled softly when he felt Sharon bury her face in the crook of his neck. He nuzzled into her hair, breathing in her sweet and unique scent.

Sharon didn’t want to let him go, not when she had come so close to losing the Andy she knew tonight. She closed her eyes, the scent of his cologne surrounding her. Sharon turned her head slightly to brush her lips against his jaw, dropping a few kisses as Andy tightened his embrace on her.

Her mother once told her that love could heal everything. Sharon always thought it was such a naïve and simplifying affirmation, but tonight, as she ran a hand through Andy’s hair and held him close, she definitely hoped that if there were something her love could heal, it would be Andy’s aching soul.