#sorry is that me victim blaming

[tltw]

youd think volo would be a little bit more subtle with his manipulation in pokemas however i guess choosing N was a safe bet LOL

[theirwolfbicanthrope]

See, regardless the intention with the new Nosferatu what I see over and over especially on Twitter with -no joke- over 400,000 likes are posts about how all this happened because Thomas was way too invested in getting a promoyion instead of staying home and fucking his wife

I mean, it's hard to have sex with your wife if you don't have a home. just saying.

Really, though, the victim blaming going on with these takes makes me so frustrated. Even IF we ignore that Orlok already knows Ellen and feels entitled to her, even IF we ignore that he is doggedly determined (now that she's married to someone else) to show up and reclaim her for good - Thomas. Had. No. Choice.

Not to rant at you, anon, just using your ask to go off on this narrative.

The thing is - Thomas is already in debt at the start. That it's to his friend doesn't matter to Thomas. Honestly it might make the debt seem even worse. He is indebted to Harding financially, he and Ellen are not off to the most secure start, he's already been away for a while due to the honeymoon - this actually is vitally important for them. He needs his job. He was already late - if he hadn't been so late or hadn't realized it, he likely would have stayed home longer. But he couldn't. Then when he's offered this big, lucrative deal, he can't refuse it. Knock commenting about 'if you close this sale, you're job is guaranteed' isn't just tempting him with success, it's also threatening him with failure.

What happens if Ellen relapses and they're destitute? What happens if Ellen is having her seizures again, the sleepwalking, the melancholy, what if it gets worse? Ellen of course is still in the sweet honeymoon phase and thinks that love will be enough to stave those things off because so far Thomas' mere presence and affection has worked. But the thing is, that high is going to come back down. It happens in even the most wholesome and genuine of relationships, and stress - especially financial stress - will not do them any favors. Will not do her and her mental health and her attempts to keep her bond with Orlok suppressed any good whatsoever. I mean, that's basically what is happening in the film. The more they struggle financially, the more desperate things get, the greater the fissures and cracks that form in their marriage, giving Orlok more opportunity to come in and use it against them. Which is quite literally what he does. Thomas staying home, refusing the job, etc., only changes the how and when.

Ellen doesn't quite get it because based on what we know of her background and her father, she's never struggled to make ends meet, she's struggled with wealth and status being used against her. Of course she comes at this from the angle of 'being in a wealthy household didn't protect me', which Thomas can't understand. Neither can Ellen understand Thomas' perspective of being in debt to someone, worrying about failing to provide. I don't think it's simply that Thomas wants to make Ellen comfortable and have a life like she used to - he quite literally is worried that he cannot provide for her at all, especially if she gets sick (mentally or physically).

Like, Thomas in the 2024 movie isn't solely and completely driven by financial success - if you contrast him in the film with how Eggers originally wrote him in the 2016 script or how he's portrayed in the 2023 remake, this Thomas comes across to be more of the mindset that 'having financial success and being of similar standing to Ellen and Friedrich will make everything fine and I will be good enough to deserve her love and his friendship.' The driving factors are really that Thomas a) wants everything to be will for him and Ellen and b) wants to live up to the rigid societal standards of his gender. He's insecure, and he's overcompensating. Which isn't great but is a relatively normal character flaw, and certainly isn't one that is so inherently damning. His love and concern for Ellen still factor into things. He's not turning into a money-obsessed, toxic masculinity-minded asshole or something of the sort. That's why as soon as he's no longer naive to this darkness in the world - the things that Ellen has known of all along - his motivation shifts entirely to protecting Ellen. He understands now that unfortunately, in this rigged, supernatural game they're all trapped in, money means nothing. Money can't save Harding and his family, it certainly won't save Thomas and Ellen. But even IF he had known that all along - it wouldn't have made a difference.

Thomas and Ellen still need to live, Thomas would have to leave for work, and would have to take that job that sends him over to Transylvania. And if somehow they could circumvent that? Orlok still would find a way to separate them. Orlok would still come to Wisburg. Thomas is not the hero in this story, he's the damsel in distress, and unfortunately for him, while he gets to make it out alive, the actual hero who saves the day does not. Thomas loses his wife, but that is not his fault. It's not his fault he got assaulted, traumatized, left for dead, and it's not his fault he couldn't save Ellen. It's not his fault she died.

Ellen was doomed long before she met him, and that wasn't her fault, either.

anyway, all this to say - I'm glad I'm not on twitter. I'm glad I can block people with these takes.

[me-and-me-fr]

They’re having discourse on Tiktok about attachment issues. Attachment. Issues. You know, the thing usually caused by some trauma or underlying mental issues. Cool, great. They love to victimize people with anxious attachment styles, while villainizing people who have avoidant attachment styles.

Both can be terrible to someone in a relationship.

Both are capable of recognizing that and changing it.

Call me chronically online all you fucking want, but if you believe someone is undeserving of love because of a trauma response, maybe it’s you who needs to take a step outside.

[homuranthys]

// Utena spoilers and discourse, tw: rape, victim blaming

I just want to say that that person getting dunked on twitter passes off episode 33 as not assault bc it also doubles as narrative seduction and LIKE IT CAN BE BOTH IT CAN LITERALLY BE BOTH JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK ITS A METAPHOR FOR UTENA BEING PULLED FROM ANTHY DOESN'T MEAN SHE CONSENTED OR IT'S NOT ASSAULT!!! SYMBOLISM HAS TO SYMBOLIZE SOMETHING WHAT DO YOU THINK THE STOP SIGNS ARE FOR???

if the symbolism doesn't symbolize something then there's no story no plot you're not looking at a story. you're looking at Pinterest.

also how is a thing that literally happens on screen in the present and is constantly referenced afterward as a real thing that happened

only a "metaphor" and "narrative device" therefore it didn't literally happen and if it did literally happen it's not actually rape bc of the aforementioned (the logic is not logic-ing)

but an extremely anachronistic flashback (When it has been long established that childhood memory is unreliable in this show) where a mob bangs down the door of a shack to find a well-dressed prince and then shish kebabs a 6 year old (who survives)

is unrefutable proof that Actually Anthy is 1 quintillion years old so she should know and act better

???

hmmm could the confusing anachronistic flashback serve as a metaphor to show Anthy feeling like her pain is eternal, neverending, has been going on forever? could it be about the timeless nature of misogyny itself? no no, it can't be, it's only a metaphor when I can use it to claim statutory rape can be consensual! it's only a metaphor when it serves my contrarian theories I made up to feel smart without actually thinking about what I'm implying!

[graceandpurity]

vent/rant/yeah

tw: bullying, Harassment, physical assault

Say night I told my parents how I was once physically assaulted by my classmates and they asked if I wanted to sue (shocker) and I said no but that rlly took some balls so can I get some words of yay plz :D

story: I was in the bathroom and when I was done with my business 3 girls kept me inside the stall and one of them yanked my ankles from under the door and made hit my head on a glass toilet seat and have bruises on my back but I told my parents I just fell while playing (they knew I was getting bullied) and for the longest time I thought it was my fault because why was I using the bathroom like a normal person tf

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

Huh I Wonder Why People Would Freak Out If You Accused Them Of. Literal Crimes. Bizarre.

[dukeofthomas]

I will forever maintain that Jason would've been fine and Not a vigilante without Bruce making him Robin

[bartonbones]

i keep this picture in my wallet to show people when they ask who carmy is bc to me this is Carmy....no sexy arms. no slutty little t-shirts and waist defining aprons. no chain with which to dangle. absolutely no swag. big sad eyes. about to expirence the worst year of his life

[lauramatthews]

something about ppl blaming group psychosis entirely on lottie rubs me SO wrong. like what the fuck do you mean yeah she’s not innocent but a majority of the girls started turning to her like ooooh you have mystical powers and deified her and 99% of the time joined her in whatever she was doing like y’all 😭 you cannot place all the blame on this one mentally ill girl i firmly believe they would’ve descended into madness whether or not lottie was there it just would’ve looked different

[hopalongfairywren]

hi i think your takes are all super based and cool!! and i'd love to hear more about your opinion on literally Anything dsmp. awesamkids maybe? we were briefly in the same discord server and i thought your thoughts were just so compelling! np ofc ^^

oh ty! c!Sam's kids /neg is one of those topics in the dsmp fandom that maybe get overlooked as it's not really the most common family dynamic you'd see, especially now after the smp is over. Personally c!Samskids is more interesting in what it says about the fandom than how the dynamic is presented most of the time. This is probably a good percent just personal preference as well as my c!Hannah loving speaking, but I can't stand when people do the thing where they divorce characters, especially character's relationships so heavily from canon it might as well just be OCs. And that's kind of what happens with most depictions of c!Samskids IMO. It's not even that it has no canonical backing- it's that It's done usually in a way to give Tommy a wholesome dad and two or three stock siblings and never done with the stories of anyone other than Tommy usually, or c!Sam but before his race to the bottom. Like, it could actually be interesting if you took into account c!Sam's canon relationships. To Hannah, who he yells at and shames in front of someone she's just met, withholds job titles from her, threatens to kill her, and generally victim blames her for her unwanted possession from the egg. He downplays the harm c!Boomer (her brother if we're using this dynamic.) does to her by blowing up her wings. Idk, maybe it's just I project heavily my trauma onto her, but I'd love to see a c!Samskids fic where Tommy wasn't the main focus, everyone else wasn't replaced with ooc cut-outs, and people didn't boil c!Hannah down to generic daughter/sister figure. Anyways if I had to choose any c!Samskids fic to materialize it would be one where c!Sam blames Hannah for the red banquet, and comparing her to c!Tommy who was immune to the egg's effects. Telling her if he didn't succumb to it then it was obvious that she just didn't fight hard enough against it or was stupid.

[lonelyandlostintime]

Reminder cause i know someone needs to hear what i have to remind myself

You don’t deserve abuse if you’re

* “annoying/needy”

*over emotional

*make mistakes

*ask people to take accountability

*enforce boundaries

*stand up for yourself

*voice your opinions

*have a bad day

None of that makes you deserving of abuse its not your fault that’s only how they are framing it

[thekenobee]

Gahh, poor Edmund "Everyone's Favourite Tool" Hewlett

The way he just says, ok. You have hurt me terribly. I cannot hurt you. I will not hurt you. I am dying in agony. Do other men lash out on these occasions? Not me. I won't hurt you my dear. Please excuse me, I must experience the torments in private.

[bill-gates-hate-blog]

unfortunately acting in certain ways because you want to make sure people like you will soon make a dislike of you extremely warranted! Nasty cycle.

[magdalenas]

just remembered the time i did **** **** with the dad of this guy who was in my gothic lit course in the basement of his frat house 😐

[television-for-dinner]

most abled people's "simple surefire" suggestions for how to meet new people make me understand why they don't have any disabled friends or don't think of us as anything but an abstract concept, or else the barriers to entry would be hyper-conscious in their minds

[spilledmilkfkdies]

What would you do if Duman died?