#sorry im rude i jsut. ppl make me so mad

[marsbotz]

Saw your tag saying FSM haters come fight you. Here I am! Frankly I'm not so much of a hater as I am just of the opinion "wow this guy sure Started All This Shit" but I'm absolutely willing to hear your view of the matter if you're willing to share! Love some Friendly Fandom Discourse (it's healthy tbh) come at me bro 👊 👊 👊

HI LOL.... my personal opinion is that the FSM gets a lot of hate for similar reasons to wu (which i also think are unjustified but that's a different post). like you said he gets a lot of the blame put on him for starting everything that's to come in the show, but i don't really feel like he intended to do any harm.

the FSM was born into a war. when he was still a very young child, he was forced to choose one side of himself, of his family, and destroy the other. and so he ran away. but this world he runs to is chaotic and dangerous. and so again, he is forced to fight for the right to live in peace along with the inhabitants of this world.

but even in this new world, he wasn't safe: the oni followed him, determined to bring him back to fight for them. and after them, the overlord. his whole life, especially when he was younger, he had been fighting, or running from forces that aimed to destroy him.

i believe the FSM was incredibly paranoid throughout his life, worrying that at any moment everything would be ripped away from him. this can be seen in how secretive he was, how much of his history is hidden away. the mech used to win the war against the overlord was sealed away where it could never be found. he granted elemental powers to select people to help keep him safe. even in his death, he hid away, in a place that even wu could not find.

this paranoia carries on through his sons. he taught them both to fight, to protect themselves, when they were also very young. one of the earliest moments we see of them is them fighting with swords! and though he loves them, they are not immune to his secrecy, or his fears. when they steal the scrolls and enter the serpentine territory, he never fully trusts them again. when garmadon gets bitten and starts to turn to evil, he's desperate to cure him. and i don't fully believe that the FSM intended to make garmadon feel broken or "wrong"... just that his fear has so consumed him at this point that he can't see the damage he's doing to his children.

it's also worth noting that despite garmadon's corruption, the FSM never truly hated him. he was left to protect the golden weapons alongside wu, he recieved the same protective enchanted gi, and was left the same clues to find him after his death. it's just that garmadon was unable to see this through the corruption (which is another post).

perhaps all he did was to protect his sons. that seems to be how wu sees it, at least. because wu repeats this same behaviour with the ninja, even if unintentionally. he brings these kids into a war because that happened to him, and his father before him. maybe he doesn't even realise it's wrong. he hides things from them not only because because he's ashamed of his past (again, another post lol), but because his father always hid things from him. it protects wu, but it also protects the ninja.

i don't believe the FSM was a flawless person. hes one of many grey characters in ninjago, and to boil down everything he did to "good" or "bad" is a disservice. maybe you see him as someone who only ever ran from problems instead of truly solving them, maybe you see him as a cruel and neglectful father. and maybe those are both true. but he's also someone who always tried to fight for peace, for himself and everyone in ninjago, and someone who truly loved his sons, despite the damage he did to them both.

so that's who i think the FSM was. an immortal, all powerful godlike being, yes, but also a scared child who just wanted to live peacefully, and would do anything to prevent another war. and maybe he is, in some way, indirectly responsible for every bad thing in the show, but i think this is more of an after-effect of the countless wars and conflict. he did the best he could, and considering all he went through, i think he did alright.

[aropride]

wrt that poll abt tone indicators thats going around.w ell first of all tbh i think some of the hatred for them comes from cringe culture. but second of all. some of the criticism is totally fair like there are a fuckton of tone indicators and sometimes . there really dont need to be. and the abbreviations can be confusing i try to type out ones that arent s srs or j. tho i feel like most of the newer ones were popularized on twt so itmakes sense they wouldnt be written all the way out

like i think my prolem is when theres SO many and theyre redundant. i found a carrd with a fuckton of them that im gonna comment on To entertain myself sorry

like these 3 all feel redundant .. why do u need a different tone tag for Mostly joking than Half joking ? or for a Coping joke ? just use /j or combine with with like, /neg or something to get the tone across yknow? and /ji - first of all looks like /ij (inside joke), second of all why not just use /j

and like. why half serious or mostly serious or not serious when /j or /hj exist ? why /ns when it looks so similar to /nsrs, which means the opposite ? ive been using /s since like 2015 and /srs since like 2018 so ivegot those down and dont confuse them but i see why could be for some one who hasnt used them b4, why make it more complicated?

i like /g or /gen in theory- ppl have said its confusing bc gen could be general which i get, but for ppl familiar w tone tags tend to know what it means. genq is one ive used just bc. its fun to type tbh. and i think ppl get what it means but its not really Necessary. BUt genep and genc feel unnecessary when /g and /srs exist, and /gene is just, a word. that's just a word ! 😭

ojh my god. i should do a tone indicator tier list

as you can see my adhd meds are working

/nbr is funny bc half the time when some1 says theyre not being rude they definitely are. also there's already /g /srs and /lh. /nm is either helpful or deeply confusing Bc i try to take it at face value but sometimes i see it and im like. Why would i be mad ? and i start overthinking. but thats a me problem

i like this one i use it when i complain a lot Bc i dont want ppl to think im vagueing them i just love complaining

i love these ones. tone indicators for Being Mean To Someone. dunno if its on this list but ive seen /pa and /sbh (/passive aggressive & /somebody here, respectively) which is SO funny. i dont think theyre helpful really though except /neg Bc again. these all mean very similar things !!! why not just clarify extra things with a parenthetical

THESE R ALL THE SAME TONE !!! why not jsut use one single tone indicator for this !!! or none at all and just type the word !!!

need /nfl on a shirt in the aro colors so poeple know im not fucking interested in them. that aside. 1. whywould u need this ever !!! why not use again just /j if necessary.and 2. isnt the nfl a football thing

these r similar but i do like them, i think typing out a whole word again is a better solution so u dont have to scavenge google for the meaning but i think its helpful to clarify this and isnt synonymous with /j or /s or /lh

i think these ones are almost all just from the op's discord server or w/e, i won't bash that cuz if it works for them it works, that being said i dont think This many tone indicators for these types of things r helpful outside of that specific context yknow? also, /fx is really funny

ok i wont say that typing tics dont exist bc tics can be complex and vary by situation etc so im sure they can, but is that happening That much that u need a tone tag for it ? and also like. for /unin just delete the msg or say "oops sent too early hang on" or smth.. and as for vocal stim. first of all why is it /vt ? and second of all . why ... would u need that to type out ? bc if ur vocal stimming that would be. out loud? i.e. not in a chat where youre typing ???????@????>?,//???? BAFFLING. also in what situation is /gib necessary i genuinely cant think of one

ANYWAY.

None of this is to rag on tone indicators (/genuine) i think they can be helpful + i am always being gensrs when i use them. i just think some r a little silly & a lot from longer lists are unhelpful Bc theyre supposed to make communication Easier and Clearer + haveing So many tone indicators with Different Implied Tones WITHIN the indicators !!! makes it harder imo. bc if theyre to clarify tone why should i have to fight for my life deciphering why someone went from /mj to /hj yknow.

like this is all my Opinion and imsure these r all helpful for Someone otherwise they wouldnt exist but i rly feel like the system could be condensed a bit yk.

do i have a system in mind to suggest here ? well.

(also. this whole post is /genuine, /lighthearted, /not upset, and /not passive aggressive. and a bit /silly)

[quitesorry]

so i was at doggy training this morning and stayed a while and went to one of the puppy classes and it made me feel SO much more confident about gettng my pup because jesus ppl are dumbasses lmao they just literally get a dog w out doing ANY research or reading, and im here like 3 years in to extensive reading and research lol. anyway there was this one woman there w a logotto (spelling?) pup who was like “we keep him mostly outside because when he comes inside he gets too excited and runs around crazy and chews everything etc. etc.” and i was like thinking “yeah, because he’s not allowed inside very much...... and... you’re giving him full access to the entire house.......” anyway the convo went on but i made a note of it

and then i got home and was saying to my housemate about it and he was like “puppies are like kids though, you’ve just gotta give them full rein to go everywhere and do whatever they want because, they’re going to do it anyway so good luck trying to stop them” 

and i was just

like. ............. do you not fucking understand anything you absolulte cretin? lol

anyway he’s a fucking idiot too and both of my housemates are the type of moron who just goes out and gets a rescue dog on a whim because Hey they did that Twice while i’ve been living w them. so idk what i expected.

[yumethenikki]

this is long and u probs shouldnt read it esp if you dont talk to me regarly off tunglr and shit

this is long confusing and all over the place and probs triggering  i guess

its been a wild fucking week/month i guess. a few months ago i was dealing with my drug addict parents and my dad nearly killing my mother and me having to stop him  from hitting her and getting hurt  in the process... i didnt really have much of a reason to live. my online life wasnt good either, neither was my irl life. i was starving from my  mom staying gone and lived in fear and had to constantly stop my parents from killing each other (literally) and my dad broke my moms ribs ... and she had to go to the hospital. to say the least i was very suicidal and didnt know why i was living like this when i could have been dead and itd be easier.

my online life wasnt helping, combined with irl shit I was in a pit of depression and relapsing on several things  and i constantly brought the mood down and very little thing was bugging me. i started to have a break down cause i was afraid all my friends (who are all i got, not to be edgey ex dee but)  didnt like me, i have abadonment issues, i started to feel like they hated me an wanted me gone and ect. /now/ i know its not true but that harmful mindset made me terrified and  upset.

i then started feel like i was making someone that i loved well, romantically, uncomfortable/upset and my autistic ass was  trying hard to be better ?  i felt as if i was making them uncomfortable, i had actually been feeling like this for a year or so on and at first i  held it in and tried to ignore it but more-so ‘recently’ i guess  it started get harder to keep it locked up and i  constantly searched for what i was doing wrong to make someone i loved upset/uncomfortable with me, to the point of them not wanting to say they loved me/treating me more like a platonic friend ?

again its not their fault, its no ones fault, and i couldn’t force someone to love me more than they did, i guess i wasnt used to it.

ieven ith that realization i still tried harder to be a good person/easier to be around, i triedeverything to make it feel like i wasnt being avoided/annoying anyone but nothing changed, i had alot of empty promises made to me that made me very frustrated and i was crying every day over the same shit cause someone important to me was making me feel like .. well. shit !

ect ect i was so suicidal and depressed and a poor in taste joke made me start crying cause it was well, rude to me and made me upset and jealous of ppl in better relationships than me, i then realized the person i loved was aromantic, yada yada. and i was fine for maybe an hour or so and then alot of realization/over thinking sunk in and i was so fucking upset and mad and heart broken again

i felt like i had been led on for two years and people just watched me suffer  and try to give me advice but everything had already been said and done and nothing was going anywhere no matter what i said  and did and all advice i was given I HAD ALREADY DONE  and it didnt work.

so, needless to say i was frustrated and i got pissed, i was very fucking angry, i didnt want anyhting to do with anyone! i felt led on for amusement and i felt pathetic for getting upset but most of all i was angry and even punched a wall like some angsty teenager cause i felt used and i thought you know, for two years you think someone would realize they weren’t ready

i also realized (im saying realized alot sorry)  that i was bringing everyone down, i didnt want to accept any apology, i felt like i was being made out as the bad guy even though it wasnt anyones fault and i apologize for that. im sorry for bringing people down with my own problems. im still fragile and i dont want to think about it. i was mad and sad

i was upset that ihad to think for a year that i was doing something wrong and i had been promised to ‘ill get better’ and  no, it wasnt abusive, i refuse to think that, but it wasn’t going anywhere. i was stuck.  i was trying for something that couldn’t be fixed and was neither persons problem and i was letting it eat me alive  like some fucking maggots

i dont know how to end this.. the more i think about it, i get angry/upset! im fragile still, and i constantly think im not allowed to be angry, depressed, bitter, ect. and put others first instead of myself.

i guess what im saying is im tired of putting people before me instead and blaming myself for everything, everything that had happened for this (up to) two years had made me realize i can’t jsut let myself  be upset. i can’t just let myself pretend everything is okay even though im crying and trying to fix something cause i feel like i broke it. im not going to let that happen, im going to be stronger. im not going to take anything and not let people take me for granted 

i guess im just.. well tldr  im not going to let myself be weak and too nice anymore and get walked over by people who don’t care. im not going to let people make me uncomfortable and im going to put my foot down when something upsets me. im tired of being so nice and crying and shit. im tired of self harming and loosing blood and over dosing for !! people who dont care!

im fine now.  forgive but never forget. or whatever.  im okay, im feeling much better  and ive been going to bed in good moods, things will heal in time but for now im okay. and ill continue being okay. no ones going to take that from me, its my time now. im sorry this is all so edgy. just a summary of hwo ive been feeling for the past year.