#sorry ill never shut up ab this woman

[boxdstars]

male clothes mod you will always be no. 1 to me

[the-void-i-scream-into]

White Tulips - Cut Chapter

Hey Everyone. I hope who ever reads this is happy and healthy. So I wrote this idea for my Han Seojun x Kang Sujin fanfic but it didn’t really fit the story at the time, even though I had set it up in the published story twice, so I cut it. But I still loved this idea so I wanted to share it here. 

I would have shared it earlier but I was trying to get the Joseon Era AU started before that but man, have I been struggling with that story. Writing historic fanfic is HARD! Anyway I still wanted to leave this here. Hope you all like it. 

Pairing: Kang Sujin x Han Seojun

Word Count: 1.7k 

Rating: Slightly Mature... or maybe PG 15? I dunno. I am bad with ratings

i.

For all of his flaws, Han Seojun had one thing going for him. He was unashamed. Unashamed of his slight lack of academic intelligence, unashamed of his troublemaker persona, and definitely unashamed of losing to Kang Sujin at everything imaginable.

“Ah-nee, how could you get so good at basketball?” He panted, pulling up his shirt to wipe his brow, not because he was sweaty, but because he wanted Sujin to stare at his abs.

“I was always good, Han Seojun.” Sujin said proudly, holding the basketball by her waist as she unabashedly eyed his abs. “I told you, I was just off my game that day.”

“You were distracted by my face.” Seojun smirked.

“Of course, I was. I had a massive crush on you.” She grinned, kissing him.

“Ooooh, chagi, you had a crush on meee.” Seojun teased like a school boy who had discovered her most embarrassing secret.

“We’re practically married.” Sujin pointed out dryly, the fact that they had been together for over a year now.

“Still.” Seojun grinned.

“Doesn’t change the fact that I finally did beat you.” Sujin countered.

Seojun didn’t tell her that he had let her win today. Her loved her competitiveness and the giddy way she grinned when she won. If Seojun could, he would let her win everything her heart desired. But this he would never tell her, mostly because she would kill him. And Seojun really wanted to live, especially now that he had someone else to live with.

“Technically, we’re at a draw. You only cancelled out your win from back then.” He stated. The two had started packing their things. Sujin dumped her water bottle in their gym bag.

“Oh yeah? Well, I’m about to win this argument.” Sujin grinned an evil grin, leaning closer. She spoke in a sing-song voice, “I know your big secret.”

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” Seojun smirked. He was an open book, there was nothing he ever hid from anyone. And even if he did, there was nothing he was ashamed of.

Sujin took out her phone and pressed play.

Is that true? Yes! Okey dokey yo,

Is that true? Yes! Okey dokey yo

Really? Yes! Okey dokey yo

Say la la la la la la la la la la la

“Told you I would find out.” Sujin’s evil grin spread wide as Seojun’s smug smile wavered.

Oh no.

It turned out that here indeed was one thing that Han Seojun was ashamed of.

“Ya, Kang Sujin!” Seojun went for her phone but she bounced out of his way, skipping backward.

“What’s wrong, Seojun-ah? Don’t like this song?” She asked in mock innocence.

Oh God, the horror. The pain, the anguish! The embarrassment!

“Ya! Come here!” Seojun ran after her and she sprinted away from him, running around the court. “Stop playing that!”

“No way. This is my new favorite song.” Sujin shouted back breathlessly as she ran full speed. Seojun caught up with her and she squealed and laughed as he held her by the waist.

“Are you not going to stop?” He didn’t lunge for her phone. Instead opted to tickle her, making her squeal some more, laughing uncontrollably.

“I cave! I cave!” She said, her eyes tearing up from the laughing.

Seojun took her phone and turned off the song. Sujin was red from laughter and Seojun felt an ache to kiss her then and there. But he didn’t want to encourage her triggering the PTSD he had from that embarrassing incident in high school.

“Lim Jukyung is such a traitor. I can’t believe she told you.”

“I’m your girlfriend. Of course, she told me. Shouldn’t I know you were dancing around half naked in front of another woman?” Sujin wiped the tears from her eyes, still shaking from the aftershocks of laughing.

“Aish! That was so embarrassing. I never want to remember that happened.” Seojun admitted, going red as he thought back to when he had been dancing around in his house, wearing nothing but his underwear and had failed to notice that Lim Jukyung had been there with his sister the entire time.

“Waeeee? I find it funny.” And then she burst out laughing again. Han Seojun walked away in a huff. He couldn’t face the embarrassment any longer, especially not in front of Sujin.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Sujin chased after him.

Han Seojun would have buried the incident again, along with his memory of that song but then there it was again.

That dreaded song.

They were having lunch with everyone; Jukyung, Suho, Taehoon, Suah and his squad with Chorong, when suddenly, he heard the tune faintly.

Is that true? Yes! Okey dokey yo,

Is that true? Yes! Okey dokey yo

Seojun thought he was imagining it. But then Sujin took out her phone and the song played clearer. That damn woman had set it as her ring tone.

That dreaded song.

“Oops, getting a call. Be right back.” Sujin said with just enough pretend innocence that it passed off as sincere to others, but he knew. He knew.

Han Seojun glared at Jukyung accusingly and she made an apologetic face. Luckily, no one else seemed to pick up on Seojun’s discomfort. Suho did give him a pointed look but Suho knew that he did not have the privilege of making fun of Seojun the way Sujin did. And that wasn’t a matter of Seojun getting mad at him. It was a matter of Kang Sujin destroying anyone who would say one syllable against her boyfriend.

“Sujinnie,” Seojun pouted like a child that night as they made dinner, “I don’t like your ringtone.”

Her phone had been ringing all day. A little too frequently, Seojun had noticed. It was almost as if Sujin had scheduled all of her calls to today just to mess with him.

“Oh, should I change it?” She asked causally, “Okay, you pick something you like.”

Seojun grinned and padded over to the counter, setting her ringtone to one of his songs.

That night Seojun had gone to sleep thinking that chapter of his embarrassing event was over. He dreamed peacefully of being on stage and serenading Sujin with the songs he had written for her. But then his dream was interrupted with that jingle again.

Is that true? Yes! Okey dokey yo,

Is that true? Yes! Okey dokey yo

Seojun woke up with a gasp. No, it wasn’t just his dream. The song was actually playing. Sujin stirred and shut off her alarm.

Her alarm that was set to play Okey Dokey.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! Seojun screamed in his head, cursing the storm he imagined himself drowning in. He loved Kang Sujin. He could never deny her anything, even if it led to his own torment.

But why, why out of everything she had to choose this.

Sujin got up, and didn’t even notice Seojun stuff his head in his pillow as she went to the bathroom.

“Hyung, are you okay?” One of his bandmates asked upon seeing Seojun’s dark circles and dead expression.

“Huh? I’m okey, dokey.” He responded dreamily. The band member backed away in concern.

ii.

Ever since they had gotten close, Seojun had stopped challenging her. True, they would still tease and play the push-pull game but it wasn’t like it had been before. Before they had felt like equals. Now it felt like Sujin had all the power and oddly enough, she didn’t like that. She worried it might get too boring for Han Seojun. She worried it wasn’t good for him to coddle her so much. He needed to have just as much of a say in things as she did.

She had meant the song to just stir some new challenge between them. He would respond with embarrassment and demand that she gets rid of the song. He would finally set a line for her; a restriction and she would comply to and balance would be restored. No longer would she be the one dictating everything.

But it had the opposite effect. Sujin hadn’t realized how it was torturing him till she saw him jump when they passed by a store that had been coincidentally playing the song.

“It’s following me.” Seojun had hissed. Sujin became worried she had gone too far. She hadn’t realized how much the incident had affected him.

Fortunately, Sujin knew what to do.

Come home early tonight. Sujin’s text came.

“Is everything okay?” He asked the second he entered. Sujin never asked him to be home early, knowing his busy schedule. He was lucky that his other band mate had gotten ill, and practice had been cancelled.

“Yeah, gimme a minute!” Sujin called from their bedroom.

Seojun threw his jacket on the sofa and unbuttoned his sleeves, getting ready to make dinner. But then he froze.

Is that true? Yes! Okey dokey yo,

Is that true? Yes! Okey dokey yo

He groaned, “Aaaaah, chagiiii! Geuman-hae already.” He turned and then froze again, dropping his phone on the floor.

In the door frame of their bedroom stood Kang Sujin wearing leopard print camisole and a blue bathrobe, striking an exaggerated dancing pose. The camisole reached just below her thighs. The rest of her long, long, long legs were available for him to gawk at.

Seojun gulped. Good God.

You ready?

I'm ready

Yea, okey dokey yo

Sujin began dancing to the song just like he had, singing along as she moved through the hallway with the graceful movements of a more practiced dancer. It was funny but all too captivating at the same time.

Is that true? Yes! Okey dokey yo,

Is that true? Yes! Okey dokey yo

She came in and danced her way to the fridge, taking out a water bottle, and pouring it over her head.

Really? Yes! Okey dokey yo

Say la la la la la la la la la la la

She didn’t have the chance to continue as Seojun picked her up in his arms. She squealed in joy as he kissed her.

“Ah, Kang Sujin that’s the sexiest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” He said, leaning her over as she laughed.

Seojun forgot all about the song as he bridal carried a squealing Sujin to their room. They both fell down on the bed, laughing. Sujin ran a hand through his hair.

“Hey, Sujinnie. Guess what underwear I’m wearing today.” Seojun grinned.

[prongsies]

Lights Up • Sirius Black

PAIRING: Sirius Black x Reader SUMMARY: Sirius finally gets the freedom he deserves as he reunites with an old “friend” WARNINGS: Mild language, a bit sexually suggestive but not that much, shitty writing A/N: I found it a bit hard to write for this song idk why :( Fine Line Master list

"Do you want to stay?” Your voice echoed in the silence of your living room, eyes watching Sirius, trying to memorize every detail about him before you’re all forced into hiding a week later. As friends of Lily and James Potter, whose first and only son is being haunted down by a power-crazed wizard otherwise known as Voldemort, you’re part of the few he considers a hindrance from him “unleashing his full potential” - meaning, he’s got his eyes on killing you too.

Because of this, Dumbledore had asked all of you to go into hiding, and for Lily and James to assign their Secret Keeper. Which led to the dinner you had all shared just moments ago, prepared solely by you, in the small cottage you shared with Remus, skillfully concealed with Charms you had learned and relearned for the sole purpose of this meal.

It started off smoothly, all of you sharing your memories at Hogwarts and teasing James for how love-struck he was over Lily, until you got to the primary matter at hand: deciding who their Secret Keeper was. They were a hundred percent sure they wanted it to be Sirius, and no one questioned it knowing how much he meant to James and vice versa.

But it seemed Sirius didn’t like the idea, pointing his finger towards you or anyone for that matter, just not him. Knowing that as James’ best friend, they will come for him first. But everyone else insisted, Remus backing up the Potters’ statements which resulted in a verbal argument between him and Sirius, Remus eventually leaving to “go get some air”.

The rest of the meal continued in silence though, tensed after that little spat that ensued between your two friends. When it (finally) concluded, you walked your friends out your flat, James and Lily lingering longer to exchange sentiments and expressions of love before you cut off communication indefinitely. Then, with a kiss on Harry’s forehead - and a knowing look from James who gestured towards Sirius - they left, disappearing into the night.

“Sirius,” You tried once again, eyes studying the boy who wouldn’t so much as spare you a glance, “Do you want to stay?”

“I could,” He seemed to consider it for a moment, before his face morphed into a sour expression, “but I wouldn’t”

“What do you mean?” You approached him, taking careful steps towards him trying to avoid any kind of negative reaction, “Is it Remus? You know he won’t mind. He- he just needs some time to think, you know? But he’ll understand when you talk it out-”

“It’s not that, (y/n)!” Sirius exclaimed in obvious frustration, running his fingers through his hair, “It’s just.. I don’t think we should keep doing this anymore”

“What, being friends?” You asked humorlessly, bitterness seeping down your throat.

“Friends don’t fuck around while ignoring their feelings for each other, (y/n)! you know that!” He practically growled at you, eyes softening at your scared expression, yet the rest of his face remained cold, “and I can’t face Remus, especially after practically shoving his illness to his face”

“You just need to talk it out” You reasoned with him, trying to hide the hurt you felt when he backed away from you, “We’re all each other has, Sirius, especially now with James, Lily, and Harry in danger! We can’t- we can’t turn against each other now”

“I’m sorry, (y/n)” 

With that, he rushed out the door, leaving you behind with words paragraphs left unsaid. 

A month later, you and Remus find out about James and Lily’s deaths, then a day after that, the murder of Peter and 12 other muggles at the hands of the person you used to call you friend.

A shiver ran down Sirius’ spine at the sudden cold breeze that brushed his shoulders. Shutting his book and placing it atop the coffee table, he stood to get the fireplace ready, igniting his with his wand, before settling back on the armchair he had occupied.

Sighing at the warmth, he allowed his eyes to trail over the interior of Number 12 Grimmauld Place, where he had been residing in hiding after his escape from Azkaban five years ago. The war had finished, concluding in the so-called Battle of Hogwarts where he fought alongside his best friend, Remus, and godson, Harry. It ended victoriously, Voldemort finally descending into the pits of hell where he belongs.

With his contribution to the war and the countless proof pointing towards his innocence, the Ministry decided to open his case after almost two decades, allowing him the opportunity to walk the earth as a free man once and for all. The thought brought a smile onto Sirius’ lips, which didn’t go unnoticed by his godson who was descending the stairs from his room in the second floor.

“You nervous?” Harry asked as he neared, propping himself onto the armchair across Sirius with an envelope in hand.

“Very” Sirius nodded with a grin, “Although, I’m more excited than nervous”

“That’s alright” Harry shrugged as he pulled out the documents, spreading the papers onto the coffee table so he could sort through them, “Besides, the woman who had taken over your case is supposedly the best one out there. In fact, she was the one who insisted to handle it, apparently she’s been sending appeals to the Wizengamot the moment you’ve been locked up”

“I didn’t know it’d be a woman, do I know her?” 

"Too well, I believe” Harry replied simply, looking up at Sirius with a smirk playing in the corner of his lips as he busied himself. As if on cue a knock sounded from the front door, followed by Remus’ footsteps as he rushed from the kitchen to the entrance hall.

“Remus!” A woman’s voice echoed through the quiet home, followed by the sound of shuffling and the gentle shut of the door. “Is Teddy with you?”

“‘fraid not. He’s with his mum and grandma for a few days, with the full moon last night”

Sirius’ eyes furrowed as he eavesdropped on the conversation. Who could this woman be for Remus to mention his lycanthropy so nonchalantly? 

His question was answered as she stepped into the room, body going rigid at the sight of Sirius on the sofa. The latter was unaware he had rose to his feet as he saw her as well, his breath caught in his throat as he took the sight of her in. (y/n), the same girl he had loved for years, whose thoughts plagued his mind with regret the day he left her standing in her own living room after she reached out to him. 

(y/n), whose skin he used to caress almost every night as they lay in bed after  hours of intimacy and passion, whose lips he swears he could still taste up until this day. (y/n), the name he’d moan in her ear or against her neck, as pleasure overtook his body, he knows he could never be silent around her. (y/n) whose years of stress had aged her features significantly yet, much to Sirius’ jealously, remained youthful and beautiful after all this years.

“(y/n)” He found himself breathing out, his cheeks heating up at the small crack in his voice - a failed attempt of keeping his emotions at bay.

“Sirius” She seemed breath-taken as well. But she was quick to compose himself, hiding the admiration from her features and replacing it with something Sirius assumed to be her professional face. She cleared her throat, shaking her head slightly, before reaching a hand out towards him, “It’s great to see you again. I hope you don’t mind me coming at such a short notice, I just really need to prep you for your trial tomorrow”

“Drop the formalities, (y/n)! We all know your heart still beats for Sirius!” Remus commented from behind her, watching the scene in amusement. He reached over to share a high-five with Harry, who immediately settled after a playful glare sent towards him by Sirius

“Shut it, Moony” (y/n) rolled her eyes.

Hesitantly, Sirius took her hand in his, biting back his smile as his cheeks managed to heat up even more. It all ended far too quickly though, since just after she pulled her hand away, she ushered everyone into the dining room, ordering Remus to shut the door behind him as she charmed the small area to mimic a courtroom - which looked far too realistic that the sight of it brought chills to Harry as he recalled the way he felt in his own trial years ago.

(y/n) motioned towards a chair in the middle of the now-circular room, waiting for Sirius to take his seat. “Now, I managed to collect some of the many questions to be directed your way. Don’t worry though, we’ve also collected some memories to put into the pensieve to back up your statement”

“The pensieve?” Harry asked. He didn’t know they were allowed to do that.

“It’s a special privilege” (y/n) answered his unvoiced question, not tearing her eyes away from the mountains of paperwork she was pulling out from her bag, scanning each one as she placed them gently onto the table, “Help me with this, Moony, will you?”

Remus was quick to her side, helping her look through the documents. It was funny seeing them now, as Sirius had always thought they’d end up together eventually, which had been one of the reasons why Sirius refused to stay when she asked him to - he thought they had feelings for each other, (y/n) just taking it out on Sirius, but he was very wrong.

“Here we go!” She exclaimed triumphantly, grabbing a stack of paper from the pile, circling the table to stand in front of him, “Are you ready, Sirius?”

“Let’s have at it”

___

“This is undeniably one of the worst days of my life” Sirius grunted as he collapsed onto the dining room chair in exhaustion, dropping his forehead rather harshly onto the table in front of him. 

The room had been reverted to its original state when they had concluded the prepping session, something Sirius didn’t enjoy even just one bit.

“Remus, I was overcame by my emotions back then” Sirius deadpanned, earning a grin from Remus. It’s nice they could talk about the past so lightly now, no matter how dark it had been, “My vision literally went dark when I went after Peter. As soon as I calmed, I was already sitting in my cell in Azkaban”

“It wasn’t that bad” Remus tried to make light of the situation, yet upon recalling how it actually went, a cringe made its way onto his face. He could still hear Sirius' loud voice echoing the room just hours ago, trying to defend himself from the accusations thrown by (y/n).

He had thrown harsh words towards her, settling down whenever she would correct his wordings or point out the slight raise in his tone which the council wouldn't like. Sirius tried to keep up with all her suggestions, but doing so would mean he would need to keep his frustrations to himself - which was rather difficult since he had done just that when he was locked up.

He settled mugs of coffee in front of Sirius and (y/n). They had only taken a short few minutes for dinner before continuing their session again, and Sirius didn’t think it’d be that difficult to recall what happened in an event that occurred long ago. By the time they finished, it was near midnight.

“We can request to submit a memory to the council though” (y/n)’s voice was rough as she spoke, an effect of her consistent interrogation towards Sirius, teaching him how to respond in a way that would work in his favor. “Besides, we need you as calm as we can. Merlin knows you can be dramatic sometimes”

“Dramatic!” Sirius exclaimed in mock offense, “Love, you of all people should now how false your accusation is”

“Pads, you literally first appeared to me as a large black dog in the middle of the night” Harry reminded from beside (y/n). Sirius could see the familiarity in (y/n)’s eyes upon hearing Harry call Sirius by his Marauder name, knowing deep down she heard James’ voice as well. 

“Imagine being a thirteen year old finding out your godfather was “on the way to kill you” while seeing a literal death omen all the time. I was literally so afraid I thought I might shit my pants” Harry continued, earning a laugh from Remus.

“And what is it you told me when I transformed that night?” Remus quipped humorously, “You know the man you truly are, Remus!”

“Sod off, Lupin! Bloody hell” but Sirius couldn’t help the smile forming on his face as his eyes found (y/n), watching the way her eyes crinkled at the sides in laughter. Remus noticed this, sharing a look with Harry before nodding him out the room, disappearing up the stairs in hushed whispers.

When (y/n) calmed, she was left alone with Sirius, nursing her mug of coffee in her palms, the way she used to do when her hands started feeling cold. Sirius didn’t want the awkward silence to take over, so he initiated a conversation, “So... how’ve you been over the years?”

(y/n) gave him a look, and Sirius could just hear her teenage self utter a sarcastic ‘really?’, but she answered anyway, “It was rather peachy. I mean, losing James, Lily, and you in two days? It was really hard”

“I’m surprised you and Remus didn’t end up together. I was assuming that after living together for all those years, you’d develop something” Sirius jumped right into it, regretting the years he had spent not even trying to ask.

“Really?” And there it was, the face. She sighed, standing up from her seat to claim the chair beside Sirius, smiling up at him, “We were only friends then, Siri. We both couldn’t afford a place of our own so we figured we could live together. I mean, if you weren’t staying with Lily and James then, I would’ve offered you to live with me”

“Did you see someone else while I was gone?” 

“You’re actually being so blunt right now” (y/n) laughed. “If you had been this straight-forward then we would’ve been together by now. But yes, I had been in many relationships. Remus and I even tried going out once - too awkward so we reverted back to being friends. There was also this one guy who actually proposed to me 6 months into the relationship, but I declined”

“Why? You could’ve had a family by now”

“Let’s just say I was waiting for the Ministry to finally accept my petition to reopen your case. It’s the main reason why I joined the Wizengamot council really, so I can set you free” She said softly, “I’ve always known you wouldn’t betray your friends like that, especially James”

“Yeah” Sirius couldn’t keep his eyes off (y/n)’s lips as she spoke, swallowing audibly at the thought of how easy it is to connect their lips in the small distance between them. “Can I kiss you?”

“I could say yes, but I wouldn’t” She replied cheekily, reminisce of one of the few words Sirius had told her before he left.

“I’m sorry, by the way... I was young then - scared of the war, of being given that much responsibility which I ended up chickening out of. I- I didn’t know who I was then”

“Do you know who you are now?”

“No, but I’m certain I am hopelessly in love with you - have been all these years” His face neared hers, lips mere centimetres away, “And I know I’ll go mad if I don’t get to feel your lips again”

“I can’t” She pulled back, surprising Sirius. She was staring at his lips though, while biting her own, an indication of how much she wanted to do it, “I want to but I can’t. As of now, you’re still a client”

“Oh”

“But if you do a good job tomorrow, maybe I can reward you with one? and maybe something more?”

The grin on both their faces confirmed an agreement, and although Sirius’ nerves had settled once again in his stomach, at least he had something to look forward to.

___

“Are you ready, darling?” (y/n) asked as she stood beside Sirius near the front door of 12 Grimmauld place, her hand on the knob ready to turn it at any second. Harry and Remus had gone ahead of them, bringing Sirius’ belongings to (y/n)’s home somewhere in London, and mainly to give the two some privacy.

“Ready as ever, love” Sirius grinned. 

With a grin, she swung open the front door, allowing the sunlight to enter the house while the cold afternoon breeze nipped at their skin. 

Finally, after twelve years in Azkaban, and five years hiding in the Hellhole House of Black, he was finally able to take his first steps outside as a free man. Pulling (y/n) towards him in a tight embrace as they stood on the porch, he couldn’t help but let a few tears escaped. 

He had thought this moment would remain a dream, something so impossible to happen that he hated himself for even considering it. But here he was, not needing to transform into a dog just so he could roam the streets. 

He’s a free man now.

With a grin he turned back towards his old home, glaring at it as he raised both his hands, flashing the front door with his middle fingers, before shouting, “Fuck you, Number 12 Grimmauld Place! Fuck you, Azkaban! I’M NOT EVER GOING BACK!”

Fine Line Tag List:

@cedricisnotonfire​ @rexorangecouny​ @susceptible-but-siriusexual​ @annasofiaearlobe​

[that1normalkidd]

Monsters Don’t Need Hearts Chapter 6

Hi guys! It’s me again. .3. Here’s Chapter 6 of my little story. I won’t be able to upload for the next couple of days since I have work but I will upload chapter 7 as soon as I can! <3

----

I couldn't bring myself to look at him the same way I did a year ago.

Everything about him seemed to excite me, despite our less than friendly conversation which had taken place a week ago exactly.

His ever so sultry voice which had just the right hint of huskiness to its deep tone. 

The image of seeing his shirtless frame never ceased to give my mind any sort of momentary peace. He wasn't buff to the extent of his brother but it still excited me at the very thought. Those toned forearms paired with a slender torso engraved with faint abs. Thinking of it made an unsettling heat rush to my face, flushing my cheeks to a harsh pink.

The sound of construction quickly broke me free of my seemingly dazed state.

I let out a tired sigh as I looked for the sense of the racket which was most likely coming from outside.

It was strange how Earth was looking more and more like Asgard with every day that passed. With Loki successfully having settled on agreements with the 8 realms the rebuilding of New York along with the rest of the world had began. To keep the construction going steady he had installed worker groups all along the world, each worker being paid a sum which equaled the amount of work put forth. The money itself came from the 8 realms which in return were given imports which they were in short supply of.

In other words everything in the world was going as Loki had planned, with scouts on every corner of the globe they reported their findings using magic. This system kept him informed constantly of any sort of rebellion and which areas needed more funds being funneled to them.

People had seemed to become to fond of the mischief god, no longer harboring the fierce hate which they did when we were first 'enslaved'.  In actuality we were all more free than we ever were. When the laws Loki had installed were broken of course there were repercussions but most never felt obliged to do anything to violate them.

"Everyone looks so happy..." I whispered to myself, tracing the golden accents embroidered into the sleeves of an elegant emerald green dress Loki demanded I wear every day. The top with a plunging neckline which teased the looker with a infinitesimal taste of cleavage, leaving the rest of the mind to wonder what else was underneath. It could easily spark ones curiosity and imagination.

Though the only eyes I ever wanted give me a glance hadn't looked my way for the past week, leaving me to wonder what to do.

My chambers were one of the more spacious ones, the decorations and colors picked out by Loki himself. The walls were covered with a navy blue with a thick white line providing a border along the ceiling. A soft luscious carpet colored the white of a sheep's wool blanketed my feet with every step I took.

Exhausted from my daily duties of scrubbing the throne room and organizing the castle library I threw myself onto my bed, nearly succumbing to sleep.

He was still all I could think of. 

The possibility of feeling the tender touch of those slender fingers, gentle kisses grazing along my (S/C) skin.

"I would never have any sort of affection for... a weak human"

I wanted to believe I that I was anything but weak but compared to his kind and every other race which existed within the universe we were rather low on the spectrum. Even within our own I had no fighting skills nor did I have any other sort of 'special skill'. What beauty did I possess that the other young servants didn't?

"Ugh..I don't ever want to feel like this again." I muttered, forcing myself to sit up and glance around the various paintings which hung on the wall.

"My kitten."

This has to be some sort of spell...it has to be.

"I have to do something, maybe that'll get my mind off of him. Alex is asleep so hanging out with her is out of the picture."

I forced myself out of bed and headed towards the lavish door which sealed me away from the commotion taking place in the castle corridors. My eyes met with a woman who looked to be about a year or two younger than me.

She quickly withdrew her hand from the door and averted her gaze from my own. causing me to smile.

"K-King Loki wishes to speak with you in the throne room."

The softness of her voice was comforting though I could tell she wasn't used to talking to people.

I gave her a nod in response and rested my hand on her shoulder, assuring her that i meant no harm.

"Alright. No need to be nervous. Trust me, I'm one of the nicer ones."

The young girl smiled at me and nodded, taking her leave.

Once I found myself alone anxiety quickly took hold of me, making my walk to the throne room that much more difficult.

What was it that he wanted now?

He hadn't spoken to me since the banquet and even then it didn't end on the best terms.

The throne room was blocked off by 2 massive golden doors engraved with ancient Asgardian lore and stories, behind it was a spacious room which was accented by a grand throne adorned with curled horns. In it sat the god whom I had come to realize that I had feelings for.

He sat with his body resting on the right side of the arm rest, his right hand finding rest beneath his chin.

"Hello kitten."

That voice...

My knees threatened to buckle at the  sound of it but I held fast.

The doors shut themselves behind me as I took a few steps towards him, fiddling with my fingers to keep me calm.

"Yes? Why is it that you suddenly want to talk to me? You seemed pretty annoyed the last time we chatted."

I spat, trying to keep venom in each word I spoke.

But of course Loki saw right threw it.

Setting his scepter down against the throne's right side the raven haired beauty stood to his feet and walked towards me.

I tensed up in fear of being harmed but quickly relaxed as I watched him instead hold out his hand.

What?

"Dance with me kitten."

A double take was in order as my mind refused to actually believe he was saying any of this.

"Loki are you feeling ill?" Worried I strode up to him, placing the back of my right hand against his forehead. His skin was just as cold as I presumed it would be but, it wasn't unbearable. Rather with the usually warm atmosphere it felt wonderful.

He let out an amused chuckle and took my hand in his own, resting his ever thin lips upon it before meeting my gaze.

"I can assure you that I am well. I simply wish for you to dance with me."

A shimmer of green engulfed the room, transforming it into a grand ball room. An orchestra played on our left while elegant chandeliers swayed gently above, lightning up the room in it's entirety.

The beauty of it all took my breathe away though I knew it was all a simple illusion. Either way it gave my troubled mind a chance to rest, taking in the vivid colors and beautiful symphony which surrounded he and I.

"Well," I started, setting my fingers against the palm of his hand. " I suppose a dance wouldn't hurt."

His skin was cold to the touch, fitting his ever changing personality but it didn't turn me away it instead lured me in. I wished to feel more of him against me, to feel the beating of his cold heart provided the frost giant even had one.

Loki seemed more then pleased at my answer and so snaked one of his arms around my waist, the other taking hold of my only free hand. The coldness the metal embedded into his signature robe causing my nipples to harden ever so slightly beneath the thin fabric which covered me. 

Our fingers intertwined as we began to waltz to the music, everything else no longer seeming to matter. Not the diplomatic plans, not even saving my friends.

I'm such a terrible person.

This moment was beyond perfect, the only noise being the music and our feet tapping against the golden floor beneath us.

Looking into his eyes I saw a vulnerability that I had never seen before. Dozens of emotions dancing throughout those cold blue orbs. Pain, loss, even a sliver of happiness.

"Where did you learn to dance?" I asked, curiosity poking at me.

Loki gave me a spin before pulling me to his chest once more.

I could hear it, the faintness of his beating heart.

So he did have one. 

"I may not seem like it kitten but I know many things that would surprise you."

"Is that so?"

"It is."

Was I wrong for wanting this moment to never end? Was it selfish of me to pray for such a thing? Possibly.

It was his presence that brought me a sense of comfort and warmth. The feeling of us being so close and his breathe tickling the tip of my nose. I had dreamt of a moment such as this, knowing well that it would never happen again seeing as the trickster god rarely seemed to be so happy.

Loki was never one for apologizing, I had learned that from our last encounter. But maybe this was him saying sorry. His silence and embrace being the only way he ever knew how to do so.

We danced for what seemed like hours when I knew it was only a few minutes. Soon it came to an end leaving me staring into those eyes which I had come to be so drawn to. Our lips only inches from one another.

Kiss him.

I quickly shook the thought from my mind though it was more than tempting. 

A smirk formed on his lips, the grand scene fading away back into the throne room which Loki had called his own. I immediately missed the music and extravagant lights which were present only a few moments ago.

"Tonight before I sleep a servant will be sent to your chambers to request that you come read to me."

This again.

I couldn't bring myself to complain though. I longed to see him shirtless again. Was that wrong?

I smiled at his demand, slipping myself out of his embrace and making my escape for the door.

"Of course, my king."

----

That’s the end of Chapter 6! Once again there won’t be an upload for the next couple of days but I will upload the next chapter when I get the chance!

Bye lovelies! <3

[nunonabun]

The Family Look [2/2]

Tim washed the dishes as his parents put his little sister and brother to bed. These past couple of years he’d come to find the rhythm of washing the dishes with the radio on softly in the background rather calming. The repetitive task game him a chance to turn over the day’s troubles while occupying his hands, such that he didn’t just end up lying in bed tossing and turning.

The glass doors to the back yard always let through more sound than his parents remembered, so he’d overheard part of his parents’ conversation with Angela, and it lingered stubbornly in his mind. They were right that love made a family, it was something they’d raised him with that he firmly believed. But sometimes resemblance was all you had to remember someone by. He didn’t even have that. Everyone told him he was the spit of his father, expecting their comments would make him proud. Yet in spite of the ways he was proud to be like his father, he wished he was like Teddy, who took after his Mummy. He’d resisted thinking it at first. In spite of his Mum’s assurances, he still sometimes fell guilty when that old feeling of grief over his first mother welled up in him. He knew Mum would say he could love them both, and he did. But only one mother was permanently fixed in his earliest memories of what it was to be loved, and he had long ago forgotten what that love looked like on her face.

He was so deep in though he didn’t hear his mum coming up behind him.  

“You look quite melancholy, dear. Is something the matter?” She posed it as a question, but he knew she had already determined that he was feeling down.

“It’s not much. It’s late. You and Dad should go to sleep, I know you’ve both had a long day.” Though they’d talked about Mummy a lot when she and Dad first got engaged, and then periodically over the years, he now shied away from the conversation.

He should have know Mum would be determined not to send him to bed sad. She wrapped an arm around his waist, it had been many years since she was tall enough to reach his shoulders. “Tim, you know you can tell me about whatever is bothering you. And if not me, then your father. Don’t let this eat at you all night.”

He sighed and picked up another plate. “I overheard a bit of your conversation with Angela earlier, and it was just making me think about how much I look like Dad.” He admitted, knowing she would understand the meaning behind his words.

She did. “Oh Tim, you know you resemble your mother as well.”

He shook his head, unreasonably frustrated. “No I don’t. Everyone’s always saying I look like Dad, even you.”

Mum slid her arm away and picked up a drying towel, and for a moment he feared he’d hurt her. He waited for her to reply, knowing that even if he had, she would be thinking carefully about how to respond.

“Perhaps it was thoughtless of me, to always focus on your resemblance to your father. Others are more likely to compare the two of you because they see you together so often, and people often like to compare daughters to their mothers and sons to their fathers.” She paused to study his face, gauging something, though he wasn’t quite sure what. “It is also possible that they may worry - if they knew your Mummy - that reminding you of her would be painful.”

He thought on that a moment, fighting the lump in his throat as he carefully cleaned the teapot.

“It hurts more to forget her.” It was barely louder than a whisper, feeling childish, but a weight lifted from his shoulders as he said it. “I’ve spent as much of my life without her as with her and… I don’t remember what she looked like very well.”

He paused to gather himself, and was grateful that Mum let him. “I used to think I could remember what she looked like by looking in the mirror, and with photos, but now it’s like… she’s frozen. I don’t remember what it was like to see her laugh or break into a smile or look at me like you are now. And I can’t even find a rough idea of those things in the mirror, cause I look so much like Dad.”

“I think you may be looking at those photographs through the lenses of loss, Tim.” Mum remarked gently, taking the proffered teapot, but setting it down so she could cup his face. “I knew your mummy. Not well, but well enough that I can say you’ve got her colouring, and you certainly have her smile.”

Tim’s eyes blurred, but he smiled even as he sniffed and looked away, relief enveloping him like a blanket. The photo of his first birthday was the one he cherished most, for the very reason that her smile there seemed so familiar that he could convince himself he’d inherited it. To hear Mum tell him it wasn’t just him fooling himself meant a great deal to him.

Mum rubbed his shoulder reassuringly, but still looked concerned. “Dad would be able to tell you all the little ways you’re alike, sweetheart, why haven’t you raised this with him?”

“I just… didn’t know how. We moved forward after Mummy died, and I know we talked when you two got engaged - Dad and I, and you and I - but then… we moved forward.”

“Tim.” Mum had completely abandoned the drying now, all her attention focused on him. “We did move forward, but we never meant for you to feel you had to leave your Mummy behind. I didn’t realize how little we talked about her, and I’m sorry for it.”

“No, it’s okay.”  He didn’t quite know how to explain that it was both a good and a sad thing. He remembered Jack coming over once about half a year after Mummy had died. He things were still everywhere, and he’d remarked that it was like a ghost lived with them. “We were all trying to figure out so many things…”

“We were, and always will be.” Mum reminded him, “but now we know, and you and Dad should talk.”

She was right, and he told her so, resuming his evening chore and assuming the conversation was over. But a sudden question rose to the front of his mind, and he surprised them both by voicing it. “Did you talk about it with your dad, how your were like your mother?”

Mum paused, evidently taken aback by the question. “I… no. We didn’t talk about that. We didn’t always talk about much at all to be perfectly honest.” Tim was going to ask more about that, but Mum quickly moved on. “I do know I took after him more strongly in colouring, and that in many other ways I looked like his mother, though he resembled his father more.”

Mum seemed lost in memory and he didn’t want to interrupt, curious about this similarity they had, her side of which he knew only in little bits and pieces.

“Ma had green eyes and coppery hair, very different from mine.” She seemed sad about that, just as he had been. “We were about the same height. I do remember people commenting on that, though I remember her as a tall woman.” She let out a small almost-laugh, “but then, I was just a child; even smaller than I am now.”

“You do have some red in your hair though,” Tim pointed out, wanting to comfort her as she had him. “A kind of brownish-red. It shows up in the light.”

“Then I’m glad of it.” She paused, looking past the stars that shone dimly through the kitchen window. “But I think much as I’m glad to carry even a bit of her in my appearance, it’s the memory of being safe in her arms I treasure most. It’s the only one I have of her that I want to remember.” Tim didn’t know the exact details of his Mum’s mum’s death - his grandmother’s death, really - but he knew it was grim, and Mum avoided talking about it. He wondered if he should press her on it. She always encouraged him to speak about his feelings, surely it would help her too?

“Mum, if you’d like… if it would help, you could remember your mummy with me. The good moments… and the sad ones.” He couldn’t look at her while saying it, afraid he’d lose his nerve.

Mum was quiet for so long he worried he’d truly upset her, but just as he was about to apologize, she spoke.

“If it would help you, then of course I will.” Her words were measured.

Tim shut off the tap and turned his full attention to her, mimicking her own tactics. “You already help me with my grief, all the time. What I meant was that I’d do the same for you.”

The blank, distantness of her guarded expression softened instantly, and he made a conscious effort to etch the transition firmly in his mind, trying to capture the movement like a video. Mum wrapped her arms around him. “I love you very much, Tim.”

He tried to do the same with her embrace, fixing it in his sensory memory. How many of these moments had he already taken for granted with her and Dad, in spite of his experience with loss? “I love you too, Mum”

She finally broke away, rubbing his shoulders gently to offset the firmness of her words. “I’d prefer not to tell you about my mother’s death. It may sound strange, but I’d prefer that, as she was never able to meet her grandchildren, you three only know the happier parts of her life. Don’t worry that I’m keeping it bottled up,” she said, anticipating his protest, “I have talked to your father about it.” She searched his face, assessing his reaction. “But if you ever feel the need to know about it, do you promise you’ll ask?”

“I promise. And I do understand that,” he reassured her. “When people do talk about Mummy, they talk about her illness a lot, and I don’t want that to be all people remember of her.”

Mum stared past him for a moment, evidently coming up with a plan. He let a small smile slip onto his face. That was definitely a look he wouldn’t forget.

Plan concocted, Mum’s eyes refocused on his. “Would you like to start a little scrapbook about her? We can put all of the photos of her in there, and yours and Dad’s and Granny Parker’s memories of her.”

Tim’s vision blurred at the suggestion. “I’d like that.”

—

“Would you be alright with that?” Shelagh asked. She and Patrick lay abed, her relaying her conversation with Tim as he ran his fingers lazily up and down her spine.

“Of course.” He murmured into her hair. “That was a very clever suggestion, my Love.” He was always moved by her willingness to care for Marianne’s memory. It was a hard thing to do, he assumed, to engage with the memory of the woman who had once been in the same roles as you; who had been loved and lost by those you loved. Yet she never shied away from it. She was always there to support him and Timothy whenever that grief crept up on them. She did it out of love for them, yet he knew she did it for Marianne as well; for the woman who’d died young and lost so much. It was yet another way in which Shelagh was truly incredible. He didn’t think he would ever be able to express just how deeply he loved her big heart, though he’d often tried. Instead he just hugged her closer, knowing she would guess where his thoughts had wandered.

She squeezed back, communicating her understanding, but there was something else still on her mind.

“Patrick, do you think Angela will come to feel sad that she looks like us?” She asked quietly.

He was alarmed by her strange question. “Why would she?” Where did that come from?

She shifted on his chest, trying to gather her thoughts. “It’s only… Tim was sad that he couldn’t remember how he looked like his Mummy, and I’ve always been a bit sad I didn’t resemble mine more. What if Angela comes to wish she could look in the mirror and have a clearer idea of what her birth parents must have looked like, instead of seeing us reflected back at her? It is the only thing she has of them, after all.”

Patrick took his time answering. He was as new to this as she was, both having been raised by their own birth parents, and therefore in the dark as to Angela’s potential future feelings about her own family situation. Perhaps it was wishful thinking, but somehow he felt Shelagh’s fear might be unfounded.

“I think you may be comparing apples to oranges my love.” He said gently. “Angela may well want to know her birth parents, or at least her birth mother -“

“And we did say we would be supportive if she wanted to pursue that.” Shelagh interjected. “I’m not reneging that.”

Patrick traced broader patterns along her arms and back, knowing it soothed her. “Nor am I, Shelagh, I just meant that her connection to them is only biological. You and Tim, on the other hand, are longing for a connection to a mother you loved and lost. You both want to hold on to them however you can, and physical resemblance is one way to do that. The most obvious way, perhaps, especially for you, given how few ways you have to remember her.”

He felt the tension leave his wife’s body and knew he was right, or at least as right as they could currently know.

She pulled his face down to hers, kissing him deeply in thanks.

“I’m very glad we started talking, Patrick,” she said, breaking the kiss.

He chuckled, remembering the conversation they’d had when they finally overcame the pain of their lack of communication before the adoption interview that now seemed so long ago, but had altered their lives so profoundly. He’d been such a different man before he’d let her into every corner of his heart. “So am I, my love. I am so incredibly glad.”

[alainawriteswwe]

Pride and Prejudice and Wrestling - Part 4

Characters: Seth Rollins x Reader, Dean Ambrose

Summary: When a superstar Hollywood actress (The Reader), interacts with WWE Superstar Seth Rollins at Monday Night Raw, sparks fly. Can Rollins overcome his pride and convince the reader to take a chance on him when she’s still recovering from a nasty scandal caused by her cheating fiancé?

Warnings: Lots of flirting, angsty longing and maybe some bad words

Tags: @caramara3 — Part 4: Love in an Elevator

The car ride back to the hotel with Bayley and Sasha was awkward but it was all on my side. They chatted amicably with me but I just wondered if they hated me for my little prank on Seth. I couldn’t blame them. So much for making friends. But when Sasha continued to press me about joining them on their trip to the Performance Center in the morning, I felt like maybe I was not completely the heel in their book.

But I still felt bad I couldn’t apologize to Seth. Who knew that under the fierce ego he displayed to everyone that he was also a man whose pride could be stung so easily. Not that I felt it was his fault. I pushed too hard with the karaoke. We had been battling each other all night and I had mistakenly delivered a knock out blow.

I thought about burying my own pride and asking Sasha for his number so I could at least lamely text an apology. I was about to do so when we arrived at our hotel. As we all turned towards the elevators I caught Seth’s figure in the hotel bar which was miraculously still open. But it was Miami and people partied all night, even on a Monday. Okay. Technically it was Tuesday.

I approached him and noticed Seth was alone too so I didn’t have to worry about Dean blocking me. Seth was the only person sitting at the gaudy pink art deco bar. A bartender was drying newly cleaned glasses, getting ready for the end of the night.

I hung my head and bit my bottom lip. Apology not accepted. I guess I had that coming.

Seth looked at me. “The men in my family have a code. You never let a lady pay for a drink.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that.

The bartender served the bourbon to Seth but he slid it down to me instead. I took a sip for courage. It burned going down.

“Seth. I am sorry about tonight. You didn’t deserve that. I got caught up in our little game of taking swipes at each other and I went too far.”

Seth said nothing. He just took another sip of his bourbon, looking down into his glass as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. Damn it, why wouldn’t he look at me? Give me some kind of in. I felt nervous, as if there was a stone weighing down the bottom of my stomach. It was accompanied by the shame of what I did to him at the karaoke club.

I took a deep breath and continued . “I wanted to pay you back for the things you said at the bar. About us wanting each other. I wanted to prove you were wrong. But it was a low blow. I realize that now, Seth.”

Nothing. The guy who once wore a shirt proclaiming that he, ‘Never Shuts Up’ was still silent.

I didn’t say anything else. I just took another sip of the bourbon. Seth and I sat and drank in silence for a bit. The silence would have been comfortable in any other situation.

“So…how do you recover from a scandal?”

“Don’t have one,” he replied.

“Too late, sadly.”

He took a long draught from his glass. I could tell that this silence was from him thinking through his answer. I gave him some space.

When he finally spoke he still didn’t look at me. “You surround yourself with the people who care about you. Who love you no matter what. Friends. Family. For me it was my mom.”

“Oh.” I took another deep breath before my confession. “I don’t really have a lot of support systems right now.”

Finally he turned and looked at me. Covered my hand with his and gave it a squeeze. I felt that electricity pulse between us again. Why did my body always react to the mere touch of his hand? It was as if the heat from his touch would consume me, if I let it.

“You have friends, then?”

I shook my head, no. “I realized some of my friends’ true colors with the scandal. Not only was my best friend the villain, but she took a lot of our mutual friends with her, along with my fiancé.”

I paused a moment. “Look, I’m not trying to get you to feel sorry for me.” I looked down in shame. “What I really wanted to know is how do you cope with the embarrassment?”

Seth shook his head. “Well I’m drinking bourbon in a bar at 2 am so I might not be the best person to ask.”

“I’m being serious, Seth.”

“I don’t know how to stop that. The embarrassment never goes away. The endless memes and mean tweets. At some point things will ease. Your number will be up and the media, the fans and the haters will move on to someone else.” He sounded sad. “You’re never free of it though, but as long as you can live with yourself. Take each day as it comes, man. That’s what matters.”

I thought on this.

“You were not at fault for what happened to you, Princess. Regardless of what that asshole fiancé of yours said.”

And that was the true shame of my scandal. My fiancé’s accusation that our sex life wasn’t exactly compatible. That was his reason for cheating. He accused me of being cold. He had even used the word robotic in a interview. I wanted to die when I heard that. It was the one bit I knew I would never live down. It was sweet of Seth to try to reassure me.

“With my scandal, I was the asshole fiancé so it was a bit different,” Seth continued. “Getting people to trust me seems to be my life’s work, in and out of the ring.”

Seth drank the last of his bourbon. He didn’t call over the bartender for another drink.

I ran my finger tip around the rim of my glass. “That might be true but people still think ill of me. They feel bad for me. I hear people saying, ‘there goes the woman who can’t seem to keep a man. Her fiancé left her for her best friend.’” I sighed. It was a tired sigh. “You should see the articles in the gossip mags all pitying me for my inability to get or hold on to a new boyfriend.”

Seth turned on the full power of those deep brown eyes. He squeezed my hand again brushing the rough pad of his thumb over the smooth skin of my hand. It was comforting, but also arousing.

“You will survive this, Princess. Each bump you take will make you stronger. In time.”

He let go of my hand and slapped his hands to his chest. “And you can believe that, baybay.”

I couldn’t help laughing at that to the point of snorting in a unladylike manner, which was what Seth wanted. I shook my head and playfully narrowed my eyes at him. “Man, I hate you.”

He waggled an eyebrow at me. “For being irresistible?”

“For knowing you’re irresistible.”

I got the famous, no, infamous laugh for that remark. That infernal sound that was a weird mix of air horn and asthmatic hyena.

I smiled slyly. “Your laugh is a crime. You know that right.”

He shrugged his shoulders like it didn’t matter. “So I have been told.”

He looked up at me and my heart rate increased. There was no mischief in his eyes. Just sincerity. “I could be your friend you know. If you let me.”

It was my time to give the mischievous smirk. “You mean ‘friends with benefits’?”

He shook his head. “No. Just friends. You know, talking and stuff.” He looked uncomfortable saying it but that was because he really meant it.

Seth let out a frustrated sigh. “Ok, look, it’s true I do want to get you in bed. But only because I know it will be great for both of us. But you can use me for more than just my rather incredible body.” He touched those abs of his through his t-shirt. “It’s all the CrossFit, you know.”

“Uh huh. Well then, as my friend, will you accept my apology?” I dropped the banter and was serious. “Seth. I’m so sorry about tonight. I can’t say that enough. I made you take a bump in front of your friends and coworkers. I want to make it up to you.”

“Okay.” He put a finger to his mouth as if he was thinking very seriously. “There is one thing I do want that only you can give me.”

I quirked an eyebrow at him. “Careful, Kingslayer. I’m not going to bed with you as an apology.”

He appeared falsely wounded at that. “No. I wouldn’t expect that. It might not seem that way to you but I can be a gentleman.” He leaned in close. His voice a whisper against the shell of my ear. “When you come to my bed and you will, it will be your decision.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “You’re very sure of yourself.”

“As your friend, I have only your best interests at heart.”

“Uh huh, I don’t believe your heart is the organ you are thinking with at the moment.”

“True.” He tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. “But only when you are around.”

“I doubt that. I am fairly sure any girl in NXT could quickly turn your head.” I didn’t wait for the inevitable denial. “So what is this thing you want in exchange for accepting my apology?”

Seth was silent again a moment. He looked at me with a fierce intensity that was so powerful it made me look away.

His voice was soft. The command he issued, gentle. “Look at me.”

He reached out with his hand and tilted my chin up. I looked up at him and his eyes held mine.

“I want a kiss. That mouth of yours is too much of a temptation for me, even when you are using those lush lips of yours to hurl insults at me. I’ve wanted to kiss you all night, even after you insulted me at karaoke. Only then, I wanted that kiss to be crushing. I wanted to make you admit you wanted me. Admit you feel the same things I do. Have you respond to me and kiss me back so you couldn’t hide away from this thing between us.”

Seth’s hand fell to my shoulder where he stroked the soft curve there. I was almost too breathless to speak at his words and his touch but I still managed. My voice seemed unusually breathy though, deep and husky. “And now?”

He gave me a lopsided grin. “The intensity is still there, but now I don’t want the kiss to be punishing. I want to get to know you through that kiss. Understand who you are and what you need, so I can give it to you.”

I felt heat rise in my cheeks. Damn him, he was making me blush. Oh he was good. And the bastard knew it.

“Okay.” The word was out of my mouth before my brain could process it. I leaned in close to him, and kissed him briefly, my lips barely touching his. My brain still able to send my body the message that I should try and protect myself.

Seth shook his head. “Come on, Princess. That kiss was beneath you. I know you are capable of more. I’ll show you.”

He leaned in then and gently cupped my face in his hands. My pulse leapt at the caress. There was something about that particular touch before a kiss that made me feel protected and well, cherished. And somehow, Seth instinctively knew that’s what I wanted and needed.

The kiss was simple at first. Exploring and sweet, when I expected an uncontrollable passion and heat. Seth pressed his lips to mine as I had done earlier but soon he was running the tip of his tongue along the seam of my mouth, tugging gently at the bottom lip to give him full access. Without thinking first I gave him what he wanted and he deepened the kiss. I surrendered to it, kissing him back as he had wanted. Learning the curve of his lips and the cute way they pursed together. He tasted of the bourbon he had just drank and the dark chocolate cake he chided us all for ordering and yet somehow managed to eat the majority of. I could kiss him all night if he continued like this. His beard was slightly rough against my skin and I relished the feel of it. Thought wickedly of how it would feel with his dark head between my thighs.

I couldn’t help resting my hands on that strong muscular chest of his as I fought Seth for control of that kiss, using my tongue to tease him back. I could not resist touching those pecs of his either. I could feel the heat rising in him too, along with the racing of his heart. I let my greedy hands wander over to his arms, curled my fingers around his biceps. The pleasure from this simple kiss was heaven and it proved as Seth predicted, that the attraction between us was undeniable. I had never felt like this with my ex fiancé.

“Last call folks,” the bartender announced as he stopped in front of us.

Seth broke the kiss. His frustration evident as he covered his glass with his hand to indicate we weren’t interested in a final drink. Poor bartender. He probably just wanted to get home.

Seth pulled out a wallet from his back pocket and tossed some bills on the counter. The bartender was impressed with his tip and we got up and walked through the lobby to the elevator. I felt like everyone was looking at us. Like we were somehow different from that kiss and everyone in the lobby of the Miami Intercontinental hotel knew it. Yet Seth was protective of me. His hand on the small of my back as we walked through the marbled lobby to the bank of elevators.

Once inside the elevator Seth asked me what floor I was on and he keyed that in along with his own. So there would be no ‘back to my place’ conversation. I was disappointed, even if I was probably going to wind up alone in bed tonight anyway.

“The kiss was nice,” I said for lack of anything better to say.

“Yes. A proper apology.”

“Consider us even then.”

Seth seemed insulted by that. “Sure. Even. I guess you could call it that.”

The elevator was slow but I was thankful that no one else got on even though the car stopped on several floors to find no one on the other side of the doors.

I looked at Seth. He seemed to be lost in contemplation. Was he really going to let this end right here like this? Wasn’t he going to kiss me again? Didn’t he want to kiss me again? I wanted him to kiss me again? Damn him and that seductive mouth of his.

Impulsively I hit the stop button on the elevator panel. The car lurched for a moment and then came to a halt.

“Kiss me,” I commanded as I slid my arms around Seth’s hips and reached up on tip toe to kiss him again. He did as commanded and brought our lips together again. This kiss had heat, passion, pent up frustration. It was rough, dominant and full of fire. I loved it.

“More,” I purred. “Please.” Seth obliged me and took the kiss further and deeper, increasing the pressure and intensity of this coming together. He kissed me again and again until I was completely drugged by each touch, each play of sensation washing over me. I suddenly realized he had backed me up against the mirrored wall of the elevator.

He closed what little space was between us, rubbing his body against mine in an exquisite friction that made me want him to take me right here in this elevator. My breasts were pressed against his hard chest. I longed for him to take each one in hand before lavishing them with the attention of his wicked mouth. His arousal was evident against my flat stomach.

When he started a trail of sensuous kisses down my neck and my collarbone, I was well and truly lost to the magic he worked on me. He paused as he got to the soft skin of my shoulder. The kisses he placed so delicately there showed a reverence from him but this was followed by a quick nip there with his teeth. I winced from the pain but it was soon soothed with more kisses. Kisses that made me cry out in pleasure and not pain.

“Damn you Seth,” I managed between more drugging kisses. “Are you marking me?”

He looked down at me guiltily but also like he had no shame of it. “Maybe. I want everyone to know you’re mine.” He kissed the bite again. “Why is it your shoulders drive me crazy? All I want to do is touch them, kiss them.”

I blushed. “I don’t know.”

“If it was up to me you would never wear anything that covers them up.”

“So you want me to be topless?”

“No, just a ban on sleeves. But I will take topless if it’s on offer. I am not stupid.”

Just then, the elevator phone rang. Seth went to pick it up and I felt slightly bereft at not having his body next to mine. I could hear the concerned voice on the other end through the receiver.

“Are you okay? Elevator car is stopped but there doesn’t seem to be a mechanical problem showing up in the system.”

Oh God. I was mortified. They knew. They knew I was busy making out with Seth in a elevator like I was acting out some damn Aerosmith song.

“We’re fine. I don’t know what happened. The elevator just stopped, man. Don’t know why,” Seth answered.

“Okay,”the disembodied voice said. “We’re releasing the car.”

Suddenly the car jerked into life again and we were moving upwards. The elevator dinged to announce our arrival at Seth’s floor.

He closed the distance between us and cupped my face in his hands again. “Spend the night with me.”

I didn’t know what to say. My body was screaming yes! It was only one night. Enjoy this man you have such a strong attraction to. See what he made you feel with a couple kisses. Imagine what it would be like to be with him fully. I mean did you see those abs? Or the tightness of those skinny jeans on those muscular thighs? Don’t think girl. Just do. Do him.

My brain was trying to be logical. See what he made you feel with a couple kisses. He will have your body and your heart by morning. And he is not to be trusted. Not with your heart anyway. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

The time for decisions was here though. The elevator doors opened for Seth’s floor to reveal … Dean Ambrose. He was standing there in a sleeveless undershirt and a pair of boxers with cartoon chainsaws on them. He was also barefoot and holding a hotel ice bucket with the clear plastic liner.

“Renee wants ice,” he said by way of unsolicited explanation. “There isn’t any on this floor. Damn hotels stopped putting ice machines on every floor. Now I have to go to Timbuktu because my lady wants ice.”

Dean then looked to Seth and me, most likely seeing our dishevelment and the love bite on my shoulder.

“I’m interrupting something, aren’t I?”

“No.” I gazed up at Seth in silent apology. “I was just saying goodnight to Seth.”

Seth nodded in understanding at me. “Goodnight Princess.”

He shuffled past me and out the elevator without another glance.

Dean got in the elevator and pressed lobby even though the car was still on a upward trajectory.

I rested my head against the elevator wall and closed my eyes. I wanted to cry. If I was alone I would have banged my forehead against the wall in frustration. Why couldn’t I have the courage to take Seth up on his offer?

“Hey. You alright?” Dean asked.

I wiped a tear away from my cheek and tried to smile at Dean. “I’m fine.”

“Whenever a woman says she’s fine it means she is definitely not fine.”

“Look Dean, I know you hate me after tonight but I am not up for the verbal equivalent of a clothesline from you right now.”

He laughed. “You know your wrestling stuff, I will give you that.”

He pointed at my shoulder. “Seth’s forgiven you too, I bet.”

I looked away from Dean. “It doesn’t matter now.”

“Sure it does. He likes you. A lot. He hasn’t gotten this excited about a woman in a long time. That’s why I was hard on you. You both need to either fight or fuck. And fighting isn’t working so….”

Did I have an unlikely ally in Dean Ambrose?

Suddenly I blurted everything out in a rush to my new confidant. “Seth invited me to spend the night with him. I should have said yes and gotten off the elevator with him. I missed my chance. I can’t even change my mind. I don’t know what room he’s in. But maybe it’s for the best my not going with him.”

The elevator pinged as it arrived on my floor. Despite hitting the button for lobby (why he felt he could get ice in the lobby half dressed was another story) Dean stepped out of the elevator on my floor.

“Room 2012. That’s his room number. I’m getting off here. You can decide if you want to go to him or not. I won’t know. You can have privacy with that decision.”

“Thanks Dean.”

“No problem.” He paused a beat. “The concierge can get me ice right? I mean he can get me tickets for shows and restaurant bookings and stuff so ice should be no problem.”

“I don’t know about th….” The elevator door shut before I could finish my answer. I just hoped that someone in the lobby got phone video of Dean in his underwear demanding ice from the concierge in the middle of the night.

I put that out of my mind though and thought about what I should do. Play it safe and go back to my room alone or be reckless with my heart and go to Seth. Mind made up, I hit the button for the floor I wanted.

-

[justurneighboorhoodfriendlybg]

I wrote my suicide letter

When I said people their section, I’m just gonna say it was for therapeutic reasons

What I’m not gonna tell them is that I wrote just in case I’d b too strung out if I’d really do it. Cause the best way it sounds like to do it is an OD

But anyways, that’s not what we’re focusing on

I wrote this and I feel like I shouldn’t share it to here. But I will cause

This is my dairy

This is the page where I can say anything I want

Post anything I want

Do anything I want n still have a good expectation of privacy

Cause on this public platform no one cares about me (lol almost like real life)

But just as a preface: I wrote this in one of our trials n tribulations. And if I sound stupid, please someone inbox me and give me the dose of reality I need. Also the letter started out as just as me venting in the notes on dudes computer and turned into a letter.

And without further ado:

how I feel/my last note

i will never be enough for anyone. I was so stupid to think i would get an happily ever after.

the ONLY reason i won’t kill myself is that it will make the most important person in my life too sad.

but once they die i can’t tell you what I’m going to do

I’m tired

of not being good enough

I’m tired of the way i look

I’m tired of the way i act

I’m tired of having waste my breath on people who don’t want even listen

Im tired of trying so hard to be good

trying so hard to be on the straight and narrow

and no matter what I’m always the fuck up

I’ve failed my mother in so many ways i don’t understand how she still loves me

i really thought arthur loved me, i really thought it was over for me in the dating game

i really thought i had found my soulmate

but he doesn’t want me either

all these girls in his phone, he face timed that girl

trynna link with that other one on tinder

all in the name of the “Threesome”

FUCK THAT

he just wants more, i am not enough. If it was really for the threesome you would have mentioned me

BUT YOU NEVER DO, except for twice and those both were a bust.

also the whole second wife shit

like WTF

i am never gonna have anything

Why did the lord make such a useless life.

just for me to never have anything

well i have my mother

and ruby’

i miss my chikitika

its not that i don’t love madam

but when arthurs done with me he can keep her

ill go back to being alone like i always am

i really wish i could end it all right now without causing my family pain

i haven’t forgotten about my “friends”

which the two most important ones arthur says their fake

but i miss them

i miss them so bad

i need to talk to them more

I know buddy has her mental problems but that doesn’t mean she’s faking

she’s going through a tough time and for the first time in a long ass time she didn’t have me to call and stay on the phone for hours

or with jade

we talked everyday

and now look at us

she doesn’t wan t to be my friend anymore

after All we’ve been through

after all we’ve talked about and experienced together

she’s pissed

cause i went MIA in the time she needed me the most

but this summer didn’t count ( to me at least)

its been a difficult summer and so far a difficult fall

this summer around my birthday, i just completely shut down

I’ve been going through shit too

but i don’t tell anyone

and I’m not going to try either

whats the point?

if i tell my mother, it’ll just make her sadder

i wasn’t there for jade, so why do i expect her to be there for me

and Buddy, i honestly can’t think of a good reason not to tell her. i know she’ll hear me and she’ll definitely understand

but what if she doesn’t

skyway was always me and jades plan

buddy and i were planning on doing a road trip of a life time filled with sights seeing and intense partying

and then we’d overdose together

and actually overdose his time

how much molly is too much?

i bet dying from an overdose of molly is a strangely intense feeling

but dying from an overdose of molly when on about at least 50 abs of acid. Maybe a whole sheet

sounds like id fry my brain

so if i miraculously survive i will be too braindead to even live and ill authorize buddy to pull the plug

cause when this happens i won’t have my mother around, She’ll already be in heaven

hopefully she’s forgotten all about me and she can rejoice in heaven with my grandma forever

i am already dead

my life: useless

the person i called my soulmate: i am not enough for him, i stress hiM out, i give him headaches. I don’t look good enough, i don’t do enough around the house, I’m lazy asf

HE WILL ALWAYS FIND SOMETHING WRONG BECAUSE I AM NOT WHAT HE WANTS

he’s still stuck on his ex’s

well they can have him cause I’m not going to keep anyone that doesn’t want to be kept

you know what this looks like? my suicide note

cause ima definitely leave a note. I can’t leave without saying my last words.

and fuck them if they listen to it or not thats on their soul

not mine

incase in the future when/if i do this and I’m too out of it to write letters, I’m going to leave this here. is not like arthur is going to read it. its too long for him too care this much and sit-down and read the whole thing. I’m sure in his mind it’ll be not worth the headache

so i will have some final statements that i think will forever ring true:

To whom it may concern,

im done. Its over. i really did my best to give it the good ole college try, but i can’t anymore. To whomever feels like they should blame yourself; please don’t, Because my mind has been made up, and nothing can change it except the lord himself. Don’t think “well maybe if i texted more/called more/ tried to be more in her life then maybe…. “ its all bullshit. you guys don’t need me in your life. you’ll find better companions, hopefully companions that will be good enough for you.

Jade: i will always love you because you are my best friend. All that time we spent together really helped me become who i was. You’re smart, crafty, beautiful and i know the world is going to want to destroy you in every way possible. be strong, stronger than i was. Cause you deserve the life you want/ With a husband that you’re completely in love with and he loves you back even more. And that he has a six figure job so he can spoil you with everything you desire, and that your kids may grow and prosper. You deserve your jerry, niklous is a dead dream cause you longer want me apart of your life. But thats ok, everyone says friends grow apart but you’ll always be my best friend. So even if I’m not in your life, you’ll always be in mine.

Buddy: my little sensitive sushi. we’ve been best friends forever. You’re one the purest souls. You’re honest, you always keep it real, (lol at least to me) I could never lie to you. And i really haven’t. You just want you to be free, to be happy. Fuck the money, fuc all this other shit. You jus want genuine happiness and love, and i really hope you find it. And i really hope you tell her kids about their tia krystal and that she would have loved them so much, she would have damn been their second mother. buddy i love you and you’re too amazing for this world. Yes, i know you have mental problems but that doesn’t make you any less of a person and it for sure do not mean you’re broken. It doesn’t even make you a bad person. if you haven’t been able to get the pills you need/ or if you don’t want to take them. it’ll all be ok cause those who really love you understand and will see past your brain malfunctioning sometimes. You deserve everything you want in life, and i hope you get it. You have my word and scouts honor that my spirit will try EVERYTHING in its power to come contact you. So don’t be scared if you feel a presence just confirm its me. and if i survive this attempt, bring my aunt the pastor to pray over me. Because i give you the power to tell the doctors to pull the cord, so after my aunts done, please make the right decision.

Payton: I fucking love you, and appreciate you so much. I wish could’ve spoiled you with everything because without you i would no have made it through tay or driving up to providence. You’ve been though so much already, i really don’t want you to be sad over this. Please live your best life to its full extent because the world needs you. You’re the ultimate mom friend, and if you ever have kids (or adopt some) I know you’ll be the biggest blessing in their life and the best soccer mom EVER.

Natalie & Isai: Im sorry to join you into one, but you both have been there for me through childish shit. But in the end both of you remained my real friends. natalie made my elementary school days fun and isai made middle school not horrible. I remember our little big squad. I remember angel, marco, that partially sociopathic girl, brittany, stephanie, lester and all the dumb shit we did. I remember feeling guilty for giving that poor teacher a heart attack. I’m getting off topic, that was always my problem, i could never focus on my tasks at hand. but i do love you both, and hope you both can handle everything life is going to through at you.

A.: I loved you. i loved you so completely that i lost myself in you. I didn’t do anything without you and i didn’t want to. but no matter how much i loved you, you didn’t see it. You didn’t recognize that I was putting my whole heart into what we had. I was trying so hard and its like it didn’t even matter,

I think that we fell in love because we were both hurt and needed someone . No matter how much you said you did, but you didn’t love me like i loved you. You were always more than enough for me, it even felt like i didn’t deserve you. but don’t blame yourself for my decision. It was a long time coming. Arthur, i hope you find someone that will be enough for you. The woman of your dreams, that you can actually see the love she gives you. She’s prolly african, she’ll cook all your favorite shit. Your family will love her and your kids will carry down the strong blood of your family. Thank you for trying to help me even though i’m clearly not your soulmate. But don’t blame yourself for this decision, take the best care of madam. Thats all i ask. Don’t give her away or sell her. And i wish dogs could read or understand because she’ll never get why she’ll never see me again. But thank you for the love you showed and just know that i won’t love anyone else like i loved you.

and everybody please:

Don’t miss me when I’m gone because I’ve simply just moved on. my decaying diseased flesh suit was only holding my spirit back. my soul has moved on to its next step and you should too.

Signed

Krystal Liana Fortuna Febles Guevara Santos (& almost Baygboe)

[nathanael-shadowleaf]

A Tale of the past....Five.

Nathanael stretched looking his body over in the small mirror given to him by the owner of this....tavern, as it appeared to be, for his grooming. He wasn’t wearing a shirt currently as he inspected the wounds he’d received weeks ago. The wounds had healed quickly. Not surprising to him, he’d always been a fairly quick healer, But these wounds would leave scars no doubt, not his first, and likely not his last. He brushed a finger along his ribs where the stitches were falling loose as the wound sealed shut. “That’s gruesome.....” He grumbled to himself. By this point much of his back, chest abs and ribs were covered in scars, some from training others from contracts and missions. He even had a few minor ones on his hands and face, but those looked like nothing more then hazardous accidents. Sighing he leaned against the small vanity the mirror rested on and let his head drop as he braced himself on the vanity. He had been betrayed, he knew that much, and he had an idea of who it was...But did it matter? By this point the Ravenholdt likely thought he was dead, Jorach might have faith that he wasn’t but faith would only laast so long upon the gnawing doubt held by the rest of the Ravenholdt assassins, Once upon a time they would’ve all had faith and believed Shadowleaves unkillable, until a half dead ragged man bearing the shadowleaf crest, armor and armaments collapsed soaked from head to toes in rain and blood on their door step in the dead of night claiming the legendary family had been wiped out by the Alliances new “intelligence” gatherers. The floorboards creaked behind him and he spun around ripping a dagger from from a sheath along his pant leg as he twisted and raising it at the intruder, Mary sucked in a breath but, interestingly to Nathanael, Held her ground. “Breakfast is ready, Would you like it brought here or will you join me this morning sir?” He was silent for a moment as he watched her, noting the way she controlled her breathing as if she’d been trained for dangerous situations herself, the way here eyes wandered across his body taking in the areas he was favoring in case he attacked, It brought a small wicked grin to his face as he let himself lower the blade and replace it in its sheath. “I’ll join you if you don’t mind...Mary was it?” She’d introduced herself a properly a few days ago. “Yes, Mary. Wash up and come to the main hall when you’re ready then.” She stood still a moment longer letting her eyes traverse his body again, a suspicion glinting in her eyes as if she suspected him to pounce upon her the moment her back turned. But then she inhaled again turned and exited the room. He watched her leave then turned towards the closet in his room. The day she’d introduced herself, she’d brought by spare clothes claiming it was stuff left behind by passing adventurers, as that was what this tavern was, a rest point fro adventurers and the like traveling across Arathi’s vast plains. He pulled the closet open and removed a pair of simple knit pants and a Black shirt slipping the items on and adding a pair of house shoes to go with the outfit then he tied his hair back and made his way to the Main hall. Mary, as she claimed her name was, Stood beside the table making finishing touches by pouring a thick dark liquid into a cup by his plate. He approached her and pulled the chair out from beneath the table where he planned to sit, The sudden noise causing Mary to jump. “Oh! I didn’t hear you approach...” He offered a wry grin and sat down eyeing the dark liquid. “If you’re attempting to poison me you’ll have to try much harder....” He said eyeing the dark liquid with an upturned brow a boredom written across his face. “Poison? You haven’t even tried to eat or drink and you have the gall to accuse me of attempting to poison you? why would I bother? If I wanted you dead I could have left you in the forest to bleed out.” She finished. He turned his gaze to her. suddenly feeling rather stupid for thinking the women would attempt such a thing. “I suppose.....But what if you have discovered I have a bounty upon my head or something of the sort but you had already patched me up?” She rolled her eyes. “You’ve slept like a hibernating bear the last several weeks while you’ve recovered from your wounds. Again If I wanted you dead I’d have used my brain a little bit. Not enough of that sour business drink up.” He returned his gaze to the dark steaming liquid and she followed his gaze, a small giggling escaping her lips. “Oh is that it? You think I’m attempting to poison you because of that?.” She lifted a similar mug on her end of the table and tilted so he could see the identical liquid within her mug before she took a long drink from it, finishing with exaggerated noise of contentment. “Never had coffee before?” She asked, again motioning to the dark liquid. “I can’t say I have.” Nathanael replied sipping from the mug now. the liquid was hot, Obviously, and tasted strong, it also felt as if were jolting his senses awake. He turned his gaze back to Mary, she watched him, an amused smile creeping across her face. He had to admit, the smile, her dark blue eyes and exotically matching dark blue hair that framed her pale skin, Made her look rather.....Beautiful. “Coffee hmm?” he asked. She replied with a simple nod. “Coffee. A drink blended from various types of coco beans shipped to me by friends in the business. a great drink for late nights, early mornings and long trips. But enough about the drink....I’d like to know who I brought into my home and saved. You said your name was Nathanael no?” He nodded slowly. He didn’t quite trust the women....but she had saved his life....and he fairly adept at reading people and her face held no ill intent...Shrugging he began slowly. “Yeah...Nathanael.....Nathanael Shadowleaf.” He waited a second for her reaction, there was flicker of familiarity in her eyes but nothing notable. “It sounds familiar....Should I know it?” It was his turn to cover his face with an amused smile. “It’s probably better you don’t know the name. We are.....Were a family of assassins.” He said bluntly. This he expected would throw her off balance and perhaps even panic her. But instead she simply nodded, a dawning of understanding coming over her features. “That explains a lot. The soldiers in the forest the night before I found you, your wounds. The apparent death of that pompous fool to the north, and your choice of attire and aura.” Curious now, he asked a question. “Have you dealt with assassins before?” She shook her head. “Not really...Thieves.....Warriors....Mercenary crusaders...wizards, that sort of thing sure, but not really assasssin’s. Anyways. you said the shadowleaves WERE a family of assassins....Are they dead?” He nodded. “Massacred one night by Stormwind’s new intelligence group. But death comes with the line of work...I expected my friends and family to die at some point, just didn’t expect them to die like that.” he said with a light sigh. “Well for what it’s worse, I’m sorry for your loss.” He turned his gaze back to the woman as he ate.  “You’re taking all of this rather well.” She nodded. “You’re healing well...and you have begun training again, but you’re wounds aren’t ready for sustained combat....And I have confidence I can hold you off till tear themselves open again.” She fixed her with another wry grin which she returned with a smug one. “But I hope we don’t come to blows....I don’t get visitors all that often....”