#sorry if you saw me post this last night and then immediately delete it i needed to fix something
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posttexasstressdisorder · 3 days ago
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Where we go from here...
It took me awhile last evening to get my mind in the right place to do the baking I had to do. I thought I would put on some music on my little radio station to kick my head into work mode. Tried some Glenn Gould playing Bach (always a go-to for morning coffee music), and it didn't hit right.
So I dialed up the huge mix I have titled "1969-72" and almost immediately started the long road back to feeling like myself. After about a half-hour, I was in the groove. Listened to the mix far into the night, after I'd finished working.
I managed to keep my focus and got the cookies all baked, and kiddo's mom happily packed them up and just left for her party, and I'm over here for the next couple of nights, sadly for my back. Two nights of "No Mattress For Old Men" and I'll need a week to recover, but hey...
Wanna thank all y'all for your comments and messages when I posted that I was prolly just gonna go black. Y'all loved me back off the ledge. Posted in a moment of true despair...something I haven't felt in awhile. I am hurting for all of us...and all of you. I have never in my long life been scared for the nation until now. Or at least that's what I thought. This feeling of complete despair, the emotional pain of millions of people, the hopelessness, the fear for the future...after I sat with it awhile I realized yes, that I have felt this same combination of toxic shit before.
In the 65 years I've been on this stinkin' rock, I've been through a number of particularly devastating previous elections, most notably the two Bush2(Dumbya) regimes. I remember the night of the 2004 election...Americans were posting tearful photos taken by their webcams, with them holding up signs saying "We're sorry."
I saw first-hand all the fights for rights that we have gained from the early '60s onward. To find ourselves set back to square one, 50-60 years later, when we had finally gained some footing toward fairness, is cruel. And cruelty is what they will wield as their main weapons in the coming days, as we suddenly find ourselves in the same predicament as 1963-65 when a virginal Joan Baez and little Bobby Dylan changed protest music forever.
So yes, I have felt this same way, and no, the nation didn't die or descend into complete chaos. Our lives went on, essentially as they had, with a growing pile of "things we can't do anymore" heaped atop via the collective wounding of 9/11.
This is another collective wounding--an intentional collective wounding. The next few months are going to be chaotic, they will try to push through their agenda as quickly as possible come january.
I may not post much overtly political stuff from this point on, but if I do it will be refocused on positive news. I don't know for certain how long that might last, but I can't take a 24/7 barrage of bad news and outrage bait. I'm probably gonna unfollow a few blogs, but don't think it's personal...it is Mental/Emotional Health Care.
And yes, I've been in the trenches with y'all a long time...we are all Family at this point...Brothers and Sisters in arms. I'm not leaving, but my presence/role will be different, out of the renewed sense of self-preservation this has thrust me into.
I woke up disoriented, but quickly remembered I'd gotten what I needed to get done done, and had a slow re-entry, sipping my coffee for a couple hours. I kept remembering how well the music had helped me last night, and then the beginnings of what this might turn into began to coalesce. Concepts of a plan. lulz.
As the day went on, I've been on a roller-coaster, emotionally, with seemingly hopeful leads on a roommate not materializing, on top of my craigslist ad for a roomie getting flagged and deleted. Pretty goddamn hopeless as far as this situation is going.
Looked at the huge box of cookies I'd managed to bake last night and it hit me. I've been reblogging the "Gooood Morning, TUMBLR!" graphics every morning up until the election. The image of Robin Williams being in character calling up the role of the military DJ.
Back when I did my cafe in the mountains of NM, a friend lent me a book called "Radio Venceramos", about South American rebels who had a radio transmitter and clamped the leads to the barbed-wire fences to broadcast their signal/programming to their fellow rebels.
Still not sure how the format will work out, but I've decided: my new role is going to primarily be the voice of inspiration over the air-waves to my fellow rebels. Not sure if it will be a second blog or if it will be a continuation of PTSD, but with no further ado, I will become the Voice of my fellow rebels with:
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I may make a second blog out of it, but until then I guess I'll make it a series of posts. Tumblr will let you blog up to ten videos/post, and that may be how I start things out. Consider them like stacks of 45s and LP tracks from my paul-shaffer-brain...meant to help keep spirits up and keep the focus.
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Made a couple of graphics, will probably try others in the course of it.
So the message today was "You did what you had to do. Heal up for what's ahead."
I will probably start this new focus in the morning...I'm still chewin'.
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honey-dont · 10 months ago
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like the apple eve gave unto adam
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ahgasegotarmy116 · 3 months ago
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Faking It | Jeon Jungkook | Chapter Two
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Summary: Seeing him again happened sooner than you thought it would but absolutely no one is complaining. Pairing: f!reader (30) x Single Dad Jungkook (33) (Arranged Marriage Slow Burn?) Word Count: 9.8k Warnings: Talking about Jungkook's wife who passed away in childbirth (Doesn't talk about her death but yeah) a/n: Took me three months but we're finally here 😭 And if any of you saw me post this and delete it...no you didn't. I posted it on my reblogs account on accident so sorry if that teased you a bit 😅 Anyways I hope this was worth the wait 😭 p.s. I only read through this once when I completed it so have mercy on me if there are typos
I wake up naturally this morning and it's honestly one of the best feelings in my opinion. Not having to worry about being woken up out of a sound sleep shows me that it's going to be a good day.
As I yawn and rub the sleep out of my eyes I hear my phone vibrate on my nightstand, telling me I have a new message. I roll over and reach for it lazily to check and when I read the sender's name I immediately shoot up, causing Salem to dart off the bed. "Sorry Salem" I call after him but then when I go back to read the message my heart is already beating out of my chest.
'Good morning y/n I hope you slept well. How are you?' a simple yet inviting message from the man I just met last night. Who knew waking up to good morning texts would still feel this good at the ripe age of thirty?
'Good morning Jungkook! I slept like a baby, best sleep I've gotten in a while actually. I just woke up so, so far so good. How are you? How's Juni? Did you guys sleep alright?' I send and at a second glance I can see how completely whipped I am for this man already. Why am I rambling on and on about sleep? I could've just said 'I slept well, I hope you did as well' or something like that.
'That's good, I'm glad to hear! Juni and I slept alright. She actually only woke up an hour ago which is unheard of since she's usually knocking on my door at six am. She's been talking about you since she woke up' he sends back and my heart flutters, loving that I've made that big of an impression on her already.
I check the time and see that it's already nine am which is a record time for me to sleep as well since I'm usually up by seven most days. Then again it's not everyday that you get to spend the night with a man like him...
Wait! That's not what I meant!
'She can't stop talking about going shopping for butterflies so I wanted to see if we could set up a time soon. Maybe this weekend if you're free?' he suggests and I have to restrain myself from kicking my feet, just thinking about this man asking to see me again, disguised by his daughter wanting to get butterfly decorations for her room.
'This weekend sounds perfect! I'm free tomorrow as well so either day is fine' I offer up and face palm, scolding myself for being too eager. 'Tomorrow sounds great! Should we meet around eleven? Juni and I would love to take you out to lunch if you'd like. You know, to thank you for the help' he sends and I can't help but think that maybe he's a little nervous too.
'Eleven it is! Should I meet you guys there? There's a shop that I'm sure Juni will love and it'll definitely have what we're looking for!' I send and I can see the bubbles popping up to show that he's typing but they go up and down a couple more times. He'll type for a little and then stop and type again and I can only hope that I didn't say something wrong in suggesting where to go.
When a few minutes go by I decide it's best to get out of bed and get a cup of coffee. That'll wake up my brain a little more and help me hopefully not make as much of a fool of myself while texting him.
I find Salem perched on top of his cat tree, still a little jumpy from me having scared him but I think it's made him playful more than anything as I watch his tail flick back and forth while he watches me walk up to him.
"I'm sorry for scaring you" I apologize again, scratching his between his ears but when I feel my phone vibrating over and over in my hand I jump again making him climb down off his cat tree and scurry under the couch. I sigh and scold myself as a result before taking a look at my phone, seeing an incoming call from Jungkook.
I almost drop it after reading his name but catch and answer before I end up dropping it.
"Hello?" I ask, slightly out of breath from the scare but try to hide it as best as I can. "Hi pretty lady!" I hear Juni call out in the distance, the phone no doubt on speaker phone. "Good morning Juni! How are you little one?" I ask, feeling more at ease talking to her first and my question awards me with a little giggle before she continues.
"I'm good! Daddy says we're going to a special store to pick out the butterflies for my room! Is that right?" she asks, clear excitement laced all throughout her tone. "Yes that's right Juni we are! Does that sound alright to you?" I ask and I can clearly hear how she's jumping from excitement from how punctuated her voice sounds now as she chants "Yes" over and over again.
"I wish we could go right now!" she says, her excitement too difficult to contain at the moment which makes me smile knowing that she wants to go right away. 
"Patience Juni, tomorrow isn't too far away" I hear Jungkook's voice coming through now and it makes my breath hitch, forgetting the fact that he had been there all along. He wasn't kidding when he said that Juni grabs everyone's attention right away. Given the chance I'm sure she would've talked to me for hours if her dad hadn't reminded her.
"That's right Juni, only one more sleep until tomorrow" I say and I can hear a little gasp from the other side. "Does that mean I can go to sleep right now and then we can go?" she asks, not understanding the concept entirely.
"Not unless you want to sleep for twenty four hours silly" he says and I hear a fit of giggles that could only mean that he might've tickled her but after a few seconds it's calmed down.
"How long is twenty four hours?" she asks, a constant roulette of questions gearing up if he doesn't answer this question correctly.
"You know how you woke up yesterday, went to school, came home, played with your toys, got ready, went to meet Ms. y/n, came back home, went to bed and woke up this morning?" he lists off and I can tell she's probably nodded her head all throughout his explanation.
"Yes?" she responds in a questioning tone, waiting for him to get to the point. "Well that's how long twenty four hours is" he responds and I hear jumping again once he's finished before an excited Juni calls out. "Does that mean we get to go see Ms. y/n again when I get home from school?" she asks and my heart melts at her excitement.
"Juni, we're seeing her tomorrow remember. I'm sure Ms. y/n is very busy tonight" he says and I hear a sad "Oh" from her and I contemplate my next words carefully before going for it. "Juni, would it be okay if I talked to your Daddy for a second?" I ask and I can hear her let out a disheartened 'Okay' before Jungkook takes the phone off speaker.
"Hey y/n, sorry she's a little hyper this morning" he says and I smile at his efforts to apologize for Juni's adorable disposition. "No that's okay, I love talking to her! She's a cutie" I say and he hums, "Try living with her" he counters and I smile, knowing that her excitable attitude might get a little tiring sometimes.
"I wanted to ask you if you would like to do something today after Juni gets home from school? Maybe meet you at the park? I forgot to give you Juni's dress last night after I washed it. I have to go back to my parent's house to pick it up anyway and theres a park around the corner. It's your call though. I don't want to go against what you told her" I say, rambling off nervously again but this time over the phone instead of texting and I regret ever offering it in the first place.
Why am I so freaking awkward?
"You sure you don't mind? I could always just get it from you tomorrow? I don't want to inconvenience you or anything" he says, giving me a chance to back out but not saying no to me, giving me a vote of confidence. "I wouldn't have offered if I minded" I say with a smile in my tone and he takes another second to think before giving me his response.
"She gets off at three, does that work for you or should we meet up later?" he asks and my heart skips a beat, knowing that I'll get to see him again so soon. "That sounds great, you can meet me at my parent's house if you'd like? The park isn't too far away so we can leave our cars and walk there" I offer and he takes a couple of seconds to think again before saying anything else.
"Juni, do you wanna go see Ms. y/n after school?" he asks and I can hear her little feet running around this time and repeating her response of ceaseless Yes's again. "Well I guess we'll see you later then. I can bring some food for us to take to the park if you'd like?" he offers and I shake my head before remembering that thankfully he can't see me in my sleepy state.
"No that's okay I got it covered. You already said you guys are taking me to lunch tomorrow so the least I could do is bring us food to share at the park today. Plus, I'm the one who suggested it in the first place" I explain and he chuckles before agreeing.
"Alright, thank you y/n. Should we show up around four then?" he asks, giving them time to make their way over after picking her up from school. "Four sounds perfect, I'll see you then!" I say and he calls Juni over to say goodbye. "Bye Pretty Lady! See you after school!" she giggles. 
I swear I'm never going to tire of her excitable disposition.
"Goodbye Juni! Have a good day and listen to your teachers okay?" and I can hear a faint 'I will' in the background, no doubt from her running off to do something. "Thanks again y/n, I know she's going to be so excited to see you today...we both are" he adds at the end and my heart skips at his confession. "Me too" I say quietly and we finish up our goodbye's before quickly hanging up.
I slowly walk over to the couch as to not scare Salem this time, grab the pillow next to me, put it over my face and scream into it. Although I tried to muffle it I still end up scaring him making him run off to my room, no doubt planning to be wary of me for the rest of the day but that's okay.
I get to see them again, I get to see him again.
I really hope I'm not wrong about thinking that there might actually be something between us already, something about this just feels right. I don't want to rush into this too quickly though since we don't really know much about each other. I want to take things slow and hopefully he does too.
Well...I hope he'll want to take things further but you never know, a man like him is sure to have a lot of options, right? I just don't want to set myself up for heartbreak. Gotta keep it together and not get too vulnerable with him, even if it feels like I should. 
I've already let him in a little, and he's definetly let me in a lot with letting me spend so much time with his daughter but I don't know, I guess only time will tell what's going to happen between us.
If there's going to be an 'us'.
~~~~~
The day drags on as I unconsciously count down the hours until I get to see them again but it seems as though time is standing still.
I've spent most of my day editing the pictures I took for a family friend's wedding since that's usually how I get my clients these days. I know someone who knows someone who needs a photographer and my rates are pretty fairly priced so they tend to hire me.
Going through picture after picture and seeing how happy they look together makes me wonder what it would be like to be truly happy with someone like this. Be so openly and obviously in love that no one can say otherwise.
As time ticks by though my mind wanders off until I realize I only have about an hour to get ready before I have to meet them.
"Shit!" I say aloud and get up to hopefully make myself look presentable enough, luckily I took a shower this morning so we're all set on that front. I still need to figure out something for us to eat while at the park though and if I had paid attention to the time it would've been a brilliant idea.
The only option I have left is to phone a friend.
"Y/n? Is something wrong?" my mom asks, the call on speakerphone while I try to fix my hair. "Well depends on if you can help me or not" I say and I hear her sigh. "Please tell me you didn't end up in jail" she says and I scoff at her obviously sarcastic remarks.
"Very funny mom, but for your information no I did not end up in jail. This is seriously something I need help with though. Are you busy right now?" I ask, hoping and praying her answer is no. "No I'm pretty much free for the rest of the day, why?" she responds and I let out a huge sigh before responding.
"Good! Can you do me a favor and throw together a picnic lunch for three? Well...two and a half" I ask, not wanting to give up who it's for but by her gasp I can tell she already knows. "Are you and Jungkook seeing each other again already?" she asks, and I can tell her eyes are as wide as saucers with her hand over her mouth, her reactions being the same since I was a child.
"Yes" I say, giving a one worded response leaving me turning down the volume on my phone when I hear her squealing. "This is incredible! See I knew you two would hit it off! I can hear the church bells ringing already" she says, jumping to conclusions as she always does.
"Mom can you please get the food ready for me?" I plead, going back to the topic at hand while putting some makeup on, nothing too crazy but not wanting to over or under compensate. "Yes yes of course. Leave it to me!" and before I can say another word she's hanging up the phone. "Well that was easy" I say to myself before going to my closet to pick out what to wear.
As I'm flipping through my options I see Salem come out of the darkness, scaring me half to death leaving me scoffing seconds later, realizing he's given me a taste of my own medicine "Okay I guess I deserved that one huh?" I say to him and he meows in response.
"Okay Salem this one, or this one" I say, placing my options in front of him and he sniffs both before swatting at the one he's chosen. "You don't think a sun dress is too much?" I ask and he meows almost as if he was telling me to trust him and so I laugh and give in.
"I hope Juni likes it" I mumble to myself, quickly throwing it on and rushing to finish getting ready. A few minutes later I'm giving Salem a couple tummy rubs like I always do and rushing out the door, praying that I'll get there on time.
The drive to my parent's house seems like it's taking ten times longer than usual and I'm constantly glancing at the clock, making sure that I won't be late but thankfully I get there with plenty of time to spare.
"Hurry up they'll be here any minute!" my mom says, practically having babysat the door to make sure I arrive first. "Nice to see you too" I mumble, never getting a proper hello from her anymore. "The basket is on the table and I put a blanket in there as well" she says rushing me over to where she's put it and it's at that moment she finally notices my appearance.
"You really like him don't you?" she ask, smugness laced in her tone as her efforts of matchmaking are slowly succeeding. "No! Yes...I don't know" I deny but I backtrack immediately since I really do like him. "I haven't been interested in anyone in years and so I don't want to try too hard but I don't know" I somewhat admit to myself, as well my mom that I'm really starting to warm up to the idea of being with someone again.
"It's okay love, he hasn't been with anyone in a really long time either" she says and I furrow my brow, "How do you know that?".
"Well Mrs. Jeon and I were talking about it last night and it seems like ever since his wife died he's been really closed off to love or the idea of dating again. He's tried a few times but they never went beyond a second or third date" she relays and I nod my head, distracting myself with looking through all of the things she had placed in the basket. 
I try not to let any expression spread across my face since I don't know how to feel. I don't want to say I'm happy that things didn't work out between him and another woman but it's also sad to think about how Jungkook might've felt when his wife passed in such a traumatic way.
"Thank you for telling me but I think I should start learning more about him when he feels comfortable talking to me about it. It's only fair right? I'm sure he hasn't asked too much about me and my past so I guess shouldn't either" I say and walk into the kitchen to get a glass of water.
"But he has" she says when my mouth is full making me spit it into the sink that was thankfully right in front of me. "He what?" I cough, trying to compose myself as I learn this tidbit of information. "He has asked about you. In fact I was on the phone with her right before you got here" I grab a paper towel to dab off whatever water I have left on me but before I'm able to respond we hear the doorbell ringing.
"I'll get it" she say knowingly, giving me another second to calm down before I have to face him. I take a few deep breaths, fix my hair and check my reflection as best as I can in the smudged steel finish on the fridge while listening to my mother greet them at the door.
While Jungkook and my mother exchange a few words I peek around the corner and notice Juni slightly tugging on my mom's pant leg. "Excuse me but where's the pretty lady?" she asks and I have to hold back the coos I want to let out so badly, my heart already a puddle at the sight of her pleading eyes wanting to see me.
"Why don't you go look for her?" she says and when Jungkook looks up his eyes meet mine immediately for just a second but long enough to know my cover is blown. I duck back into the kitchen to hide, convincing myself that he didn't see me when he clearly did. 
"Go on" he says softly when Juni no doubt looks up at him for approval and my mother follows behind her as Juni walks in the completely opposite direction from where I am, my mom trailing behind her, giving no hints and letting her explore on her own.
I assume that Jungkook follows them but when I hear what sound like his footsteps get closer and not further away I tiptoe my way into the pantry, completely mortified that I know now for a fact that he caught me staring at them.
I close the door almost all the way and ten seconds later I watch as his form passes by the little crack in the doorway and I hold my breath as if that might help but there's only one way in and one way out of this kitchen and both him and I know that.
Why did I even hide? What was I thinking? Way to start things off on the right foot.
While I'm busy scolding myself I forget to pay attention and stumble back when he opens the door. "Got ya" he chuckles and I clear my throat, "Yeah I uh, I guess you did" I say, trying to lean back against one of the shelves, stumbling over a box instead but quickly recovering.
"Why are you hiding?" he chuckles, leaning up against the door frame and crossing his arms making me look down and notice how one of them is completely covered in tattoos. I had never specifically been attracted to tattoos before but on him...
I lose track of what he had said and only realize I had left a lull in the conversation when he clears his throat. "Oh I-" I start off but when I hear my mother and Juni's voices in the other room I grab his shirt and pull him in, making him stumble inside, closing the door right away.
It's only when he hits the switch to turn the light on that I realize what I had done.
"I-" I try to apologize but when I look up at him I notice that there's something in the way he's looking at me that I have never seen before, making my words die in my throat. We stand there for what feels like hours but had only been mere moments just observing each other, watching those small changes of expressions and I start to feel dizzy under his gaze. 
The tension between us clear and building but it's only when he opens his mouth to say something that the door is thrown open and we're met with a squeal from Juni. She runs into the closet and grabs onto Jungkook's leg making him stumble forward and as a result pins me against the shelf, his hands resting on either side of me.
It's like the universe is playing some sort of sick and twisted joke on us, constantly putting us in situations like these and yet we had only just become reacquainted with each other last night. 
"I found you!" Juni squeals again, giggles as her cries of victory and she soon pulls on Jungkook's leg to try and separate us. 
"Daddy I wanna play with the pretty lady" Juni pouts and in her efforts of trying to pull him off of me he actually loses his footing and stumbles, our bodies fully flush against each other now, his face just inches away from mine. 
I blink up at him and he does the same to me, both of us frozen and not really knowing what to do. It's only when my mother chimes in and asks Juni to come with her to get a snack that that little bubble that had formed around us had been popped.
"I...sorry... I uh, tripped...you know...with Juni and everything" he says, fumbling his words like a school boy, taking a few steps back to be at a respectful distance again. "Yeah no it's fine. I um, I shouldn't have pulled you in here in the first place" I admit and he smirks, remembering the point that lead us up to the little predicament we're in. 
"Why did you pull me in here?" he smiles, glancing over at where my mom has Juni plopped down on the kitchen counter with a popsicle in her hand. "I take hide and seek very seriously" I explain, me being the one crossing my arms now and he chuckles at my lame excuse for my actions but accepts it anyways. 
"Right" he says and offers me a hand to lead me out which I reluctantly accept.
"Mom she'll spoil her dinner" I say, scolding her with Juni just lost in the flavor and sheer size of it. To be fair it looks adorable in her little hands. "It's alright, a little sugar won't hurt her. Plus we're still going to the park right?" he asks and I look at him and nod. "Right" I agree and lift Juni off the counter to set her on her feet. 
"Hi Miss y/n" she says with a bright smile with her lips and tongue stained a bright shade of red from the cherry flavor. "Hi Juni" I say and fix her little sun dress that she's wearing, it's almost as if we had planned to match and when she notices me straightening out her dress she look at mine and also notices the similarity right away. 
"Look Daddy! Miss y/n and I are matching!" she says with the toothiest grin I've ever seen, her front two teeth standing out just a little bit more making it another cute little trait she shares with her father. Although who knows if she'll keep that once she starts losing her teeth I think to myself and quickly fix her hair as well since it's gotten a bit ruffled in the excitement of it all. 
"That's right baby, you both look so beautiful" he says making my heart skip a beat. When I look over at him he's giving me a similar adoring look he gave Juni just moments ago making it even harder for me to not melt into a puddle. 
I'm beginning to notice that these two really know how to tug on a person's heartstrings, it's almost as if it were as easy as breathing and that's something that's gonna take a while to get used to. 
"Can we go to the park now, please?" Juni asks, her eyes going back and forth between the two of us and when I look over at Jungkook he nods. "Sure, are you ready?" I ask, turning back to Juni and she jumps up and down and chants 'Yes' over and over again like she had done this morning on the phone. 
"Alright let's go" I say and with one hand clutching her popsicle for dear life she uses the other one to grab mine and drag me towards the front door. 
"Juni be careful" Jungkook scolds but I turn back towards him and assure him not to worry and I can see how he relaxes at that. She's a little bouncing ball of sunshine, emphasis on the bouncing since she can hardly sit still most of the time unless she's eating, and even then she's dancing around and smiling happily. I swear if this girl gets any sweeter I'm gonna start getting a toothache.
I let go of Juni's hand while my mother entertains her so we can make sure we have everything before we head out and when I try to turn around to grab my cardigan Jungkooks already grabbing it and holding it out to help me put it on. "Oh! I can-" "I know" he cuts me off but doesn't make any moves to give it to me so I turn my back to him and let him do as he pleases, sliding it up my arms and over my shoulders.
He runs his hands down my arms, no doubt as an excuse to smooth it all out but it causes a slight shiver to run through my system and he let's go, surprised at the reaction. 
"You sure you're gonna be warm enough?" he asks, a hint of amusement laced in his tone making my cheeks heat up but I nod my head and quickly rush over to the table where the basket is so I don't have to face him but he takes it from me as soon as my fingers brush the handle, making our hands touch. 
"I can carry that" I counter and he shakes his head, "No I'll carry it, someone's gotta hold Juni's hand while we walk there" he says, clearly delegating our respective duties and I smile and nod again. "Deal" and at that we're out the door. 
~~~~
"Higher Daddy higher!" Juni squeals while Jungkook pushes her on the swing, his arms no doubt getting a little tired since she's been on it for the past ten minutes now and I can see he's losing momentum with every push. 
"Daddy's tired Juni. Can you swing on your own now? You know, just like I taught you" he suggests and she thinks about it for a second before saying a quick 'Okay' and clumsily moving her legs back and forth to keep the momentum going.
I smile as I watch Jungkook stumble over towards where I've been sitting on the blanket and watching them, adoring their father daughter relationship. "You're so good with her" I praise when he sits down and hand him a cold water bottle which he accepts right away and downs half of it. 
"You think so?" he asks, always unsure of himself but I couldn't think of a more perfect father than him. "I know so. She's lucky to have a loving devoted father like you" I say and he smiles softly, grabing one of the strawberries that my mother had packed for us. 
"You flatter me" he says, a slight blush blooming on his cheeks making me feel almost smitten with him. "It's the truth" I reenforcing what I've said and he shakes his head, finishing off the fruit in his mouth.
"Sometimes I feel like I'm not enough, you know? Like there's only so much I could give her" he says and I can tell from how his body language has changed that he's really thinking about how he wishes her mother could be here for her too.
"What was her name?" I ask and he looks at me curiously, not knowing that I'm on the same page as him yet. "Your wife, what was her name?" I say tentatively but when he registers it I quickly backtrack. "I'm sorry, you don't have to tell me that. I just figured that you might've been well..." I trail off and we sit there in silence watching Juni swing back and forth, back and forth until he decides to speak up. 
"Julie" he says softly, as if it had been years since he had spoken it. "Her name was Julie" he says softly and when I look over at him I can see the melancholy expression he's trying to hide. "That's a beautiful name, did you want Juni's name to sound similar to her's?" I ask, not wanting to make this conversation go dark but knowing that talking about her might cheer him up.
"Well, kinda. We wanted something that combined both of our names. It's silly, I know" he mumbles getting bashful about it. "It's not silly, it's wonderful to see in a way that both you and Juni are still carrying her with you everyday. It's a beautiful way to pay tribute to her" I reassure him and he smiles at me, mouthing a silent thank you. 
"I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have pried" I apologize again, seeing that it still has him feeling down. "No it's okay, it's nice to talk about her every once in a while. Thank you, for that" him now reassuring me and I nod, both of us left in silence for a while before Juni runs up to us. 
"Daddy what's wrong?" she asks, seeing the clearly deflated Jungkook as she gets closer and it's good to see that instead of brushing it off like it's nothing he doesn't hesitate to tell her how he's feeling. "I'm just a little sad, Ms. y/n and I were just talking about Mommy" he explains and she gets almost a look of understanding which is surprising for someone of her age. 
"Please don't be sad Daddy, remember you said Mommy is always watching over us right?" she say, giving him the talk that he's clearly had with her a time or two. "Right" he say, brightening up just a bit. "And she wouldn't want to see us sad when we think about her right?" she continues, an slightly stern tone creeping up which makes both Jungkook and I smile. "Right" he echos again and she nods her head in agreement. 
"You always tell me to look in the mirror and touch my nose, and my ears and my lips and everything else that you say reminds you of her and you tell me that she'll always be right here with me. So that means when I'm here with you she's here too right?" she asks again and he chuckles. 
"When did you get so smart?" he says, grabbing her and starts tickling her, making her squirm all over the place and when he finally has mercy on her and she catches her breath she answers, "Well I am turning five soon" she says matter-o-factly and I can't help but chuckle at that. "Oh right, how could I forget" he over exaggerates  and she giggles, grabbing his shoulder before leaning in to whisper something. 
"Daddy can we show the pretty lady a picture of Mommy?" she says almost at full volume leaving him flinching back. It's adorable how she still hasn't figured out this whole whispering thing. "Sure baby" he obliges and pulls out his phone, picking out one and handing it to her so she can show it to me. 
She surprises me by plopping down in my lap and putting the phone way too close to my face. "This is my Mommy, her name is Julie" she says proudly and my heart can't help but ache thinking this is the only way she's known her mother. "She's beautiful Juni" I say, putting my hand on top of her hand that's holding the phone and pulling it back so I can see the picture properly. 
"You really do have your mom's nose" I chuckle when I notice the same curved button nose they share leaving me booping her's and making her smile. She scrolls through a couple more photos giving me little bits of commentary that no doubt Jungkook has told her as she grew up and it's when I hear the soft click of a camera that I look back up at him. 
"Sorry, it was too perfect not to" he says, seemly enjoying watching the two of us and I can't help the way my heart skips a beat making me shy all over again. "Can we take some more pictures?" Juni asks, wrapping her little arms around my neck and squishing my face against her's leaving me laughing at how adorable this all is. 
Jungkook obliges and we take picture after picture after picture together until Juni is satisfied and has run off to play again. 
"I didn't even know that you brought that" I say, watching as he fiddles around with the camera, flipping through the photos he just took. "It was on the table right behind the basket" he explains and now that I think about it I do remember seeing the corner of a camera bag sitting next to it. 
He smiles as he looks at the pictures and I lean over to catch a glance at them but he pulls it back out of my reach. "Hey!" I chuckle and she shakes his head. "Not until they're edited" he refuses and I scoff. 
"You're not actually going to edit them are you?" I say, nervous at the thought of him spending hours looking at those pictures. "Why wouldn't I?" he asks as if I had said something confusing. "Well I mean, aren't you busy with work? I doubt you would want to take extra time out of your day to play around with them" I explain and he smiles. 
"Let me take a few more and then I'll let you see them" he says, angling his body so he's facing me. "Did you want me to call Juni back?" I ask but when I try he stops me with another click and I look back at him confused. "I meant of just you" he says simply but I can tell he feels a bit bashful from the way he's started to hide behind the camera. 
"I'm not used to being the one in front of the camera" I say, trying to figure out exactly how to pose but he chuckles and puts the camera down a little to take a good look at me. "I don't see why not, you're beautiful" he says casually as if those words hadn't sent my heart into overdrive. "I-" I start but the words just don't come out, especially when he places the camera down and leans in closer. 
He takes my hand and places it on the blanket so I can lean on it, places the other in my lap, angles my shoulders slightly away from him and takes my chin and softly tilts my head up, making the sunlight peer down on my face through the leaves of the tree we're under. 
"Just relax" he says, acting as if I could possibly relax after he had his hands all over me, posing me just how he wanted. 
I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths to clear my head and once I start to get that sense of serenity I hear a few soft clicks from his camera, taking picture after picture, him adjusting my pose by hand every time. 
"Daddy!" is the next thing we hear after who knows how long with the sight of Juni running over to us all covered in mud. "Is this your daughter?" a woman who is clearly out of breath says while trailing after Juni. 
"Juni what happened?" I chuckle, seeing that she's as happy as can be with a few smudges of dirt on her face and her dress all muddy. "Her and my son were playing over there and I guess he convinced her to jump in the mud and well..." she says, motioning towards Juni where I'm trying to clean her off as best as I can. 
"I hope she didn't cause you any trouble" Jungkook says, now feeling a bit guilty about the situation since he had taken his eye off her for a second. 
"No, not at all. If anything I should be apologizing for my son. I swear we look away for one second and he's as dirty as can be" she chuckles, finally close to catching her breath. 
"Can you tell the nice lady thank you for bringing you back?" Jungkook tells Juni and she does as she's told and I can see that she has just about as much of an affect on this mom as she does with me. If Jungkook's not careful she can use her cuteness for mass destruction if left unchecked. 
We hear a boy calling out for his mom that looks just like the woman in front of us now with no doubt her husband trailing after him. "Mom, Dad says it's time to go home" he says, his state twice as bad as Juni's. What is it with kids these days and mud? I chuckle to myself and when the boy notices Jungkook and I with Juni he gets a little shy. 
"Oh, hello" he says before he goes and hides behind his mother's leg, "Oh so now you wanna be shy?" his dad teases and snatches him out from his hiding space and whispers no doubt an encouragement for him to apologize. 
"I'm sorry for getting her all dirty. She was just really nice and I wanted to have fun with her" he mumbles and I can see hints of pink peeking through the streaks of dirt on his cheeks just like Juni. 
What did I say? Weapon of mass destruction.
"It's okay sweetie, I'm just glad you had fun" I say, brushing off his apology and when he looks up at me now I can see that his blush deepens and opts to hide behind his Dad's leg this time. "Alright well say goodbye" his mom says and he mumbles a quiet goodbye and gives Juni a shy wave compared to hers being one to match her outgoing and bubbly self.
"Can we play again tomorrow?" Juni asks him and he looks up at his parents for approval. "We usually come here around this time everyday after school so you just have to ask your Mommy and Daddy if you can come again" she says and when I try to deny her claims Jungkook jumps in before I can get a word out. "We'll be here" he says and Juni smiles so wide. 
"See you tomorrow!" she calls out to them and the trio waves goodbye one last time before heading to their car. 
"Mommy and Daddy?" I turn to Jungkook while Juni is busy doing a little happy dance before taking a drink of her juice box. "Well I um, I guess they couldn't help but think we're her parents so it felt best to not correct them" he says while rubbing the back of his neck, his cheeks dusted a light shade of pink just like the little boy's were when he was looking at Juni. 
"Right, and when they say something tomorrow?" I tease and he clears his throat, no doubt not thinking this whole thing through. "Well I guess there's no harm in faking it?" he says and now I'm the one that's nervous.
"Faking it? You mean you want me to pretend to be Juni's mom? Why?" I ask, flustered by the thought of it. "I'm sorry I guess I didn't think about how you might feel about it. I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable" he apologizes but I rush to explain myself.
"I'm not uncomfortable I'm just shocked that you would want to go along with something like that to keep up appearances for people that we hardly know" I say, trying to figure out where his head is at. "Sorry that was a stupid suggestion we don't have to do it if you don't want to" he says and I shake my head.
"I mean I want to, but do you? I mean what about Juni? What's she gonna think?" I ask and watch as she chases a butterfly that has caught her eye. "We can just tell her we're playing pretend" he says and I raise a brow at him. 
"That's the best you got?" I ask and he chuckles nervously. It's funny to see that a tall, strong, handsome man like him is getting so shy about this but I'll play along, I just don't want to confuse Juni. 
"Juni can you come here for a second?" Jungkook calls and she turns and runs over to us right away, looking between the two of us since we're both looking at her with no doubt some very strange expressions. "You like to play pretend right?" he asks and she brightens up at the thought, "It's my favorite thing to do!" she says, twirling around in her very adorable muddy dress. 
"How would you feel if we started playing pretend with Ms. y/n?" he asks and she gets even more excited and does her little chanting of 'Yes' over and over again, a very adorable habit of hers. 
"So this is what we're gonna do, whenever we're out and about with Ms. y/n we're going to pretend like we're a family. You'll be the Baby, I'll be the Daddy and Ms. y/n will be the Mommy, does that sound alright to you?" he asks and she giggles and looks between the two of us, clearly loving the idea. 
"Yes let's do it!" she says, fully confident in her playing pretend skillset. "Alright Juni but there's one little rule" he says and she come in close, knowing that this part is probably a secret. "You can't call her Mommy in front of her parents or grandma and grandpa, got it?" he says and I fully agree with him, we don't need to get their hopes up when we still don't know exactly what we are. 
"Got it! Mommy?" she asks, getting my attention and trying on the name for size and I answer to it right away, somehow feeling almost natural already. "Yes Juni?" I ask, and she looks over at the playground for a second before looking back over at me. "Can I go play for just a little while  longer?" she asks, holding her hands together and giving me the cutest puppy dog eyes I've ever seen. 
"Go ahead" I say and she giggles and rushes off to run around just for a little while longer just like she said. "It suits you" Jungkook says and I look over at him curiously, "What does?" I ask with a tilt of my head. "You being a mom" he says and the words die in my throat. I've always been told I'd be a good mother when the time came but hearing it from him after what we just agreed to do just...
"Thank you" I say, my heart squeezing in a painful but also grateful way and he gives me a smile before he places his hand on my waist for a second to solidify his sincerity before walking a bit closer to the playground to watch Juni. 
I decide to start packing up the stuff we had brought and by the time Juni is dragging her feet back over to me and completely out of breath I've got everything ready to go. "You tired?" I ask and she nods her head, her blinks getting lazy as a clear sign that it's time for bed. 
"Why don't I carry her home...I mean back to my mom's house" I correct myself quickly but I can tell he liked the sound of what I had said, my implication being completely different from what he had imagined. "It's alright, I can carry her, we've got one pretty dress all muddy so I don't think we need another one" he chuckles. 
I pause for a second and pull out the picnic blanket we brought and hold it against myself before picking her up. "Problem solved" I say and he can't help but smile at my solution and quickly takes Juni's shoes off and wipes her feet clean as best as he can before taking the end of the blanket and  tucking it all up so she's practically wrapped up like a burrito. 
"You sure you can cary her? She can get a bit heavy when she's sleepy like this, especially since we've gotta walk for a little bit" he offers and I assure him I'm fine. "What kind of mother would I be if I couldn't carry my child home?" I tease and his eyes widen, clearly having forgotten the little game we're playing.
"How dare I doubt your capabilities as a mother" he chuckles and picks up our stuff, motioning for me to lead the way.
A few minutes go by and we're left in a comfortable silence on our way back to my parent's house and when I decide to speak up he does the same. "I-" "Tha-", "Sorry you go first" "No that's okay you go first" and we toss it back and forth a few more times before he hits me with the age old "Ladies first".
"Thank you for coming tonight and letting me spend some more time with Juni...well and you of course" I say sheepishly and he smiles. "I would hope you like spending time with me since you are my wife after all" he teases and now we've switched personalities. "You know, I think you're getting a little too comfortable with this already" I say and he smiles, playing with his lip piercing that I somehow only noticed right now, the silver glistening from the street lights.
There's so many things I haven't noticed about him yet, or even know about him but somehow everything seems so easy. 
"I mean can you blame me? You fit right in with Juni and I. Honestly better than I thought you would" he mumbles the last part to himself and I have to try my absolute hardest not to literally fall for him. I'm holding his daughter so I would one thousand percent say that now is not the time. 
"What?" I ask, needing clarification but he doesn't give. "Oh nothing" he smiles and picks up the pace, leaving me trailing behind him and right when I go to say something else Juni flinches leaving me slowing down and soothing her back to sleep. "Your Daddy is crazy, you know that?" I whisper to her as if she could hear me but the need to say something was too great. 
A minute or two later we're walking up to my mom's house and I twist my body to give him access to the small purse I brought with us and let him fish out the keys to open the door. 
When my mom hears us come in she goes to give us a no doubt overly exaggerated welcome home but as soon as she sees a very sleepy Juni in my arms she cuts herself off and switches to a hushed tone. 
"Looks like you all had fun" she chuckles and caresses Juni's head for a second, checking to see if she's really asleep and she very much is. "Maybe a little too much fun" Jungkook chuckles, seeing my mother slowly realize how dirty Juni had gotten. 
"She's a cheeky one isn't she?" my mom smiles lovingly and I can't help but wish this whole mom thing with Juni was real. "She is indeed" Jungkook agrees, and hands my mother the picnic basket. 
"Thank you so much for letting me steal your daughter today" Jungkook teases and I can tell that she absolutely loves this. "Honestly you can keep her. I hardly see her anyways" she says, giving Jungkook permission as well as sending a jab my way. 
"Mom" I groan and the both of them smile as if they delighted in my embarrassment. "I just might" he says softly while looking over at me and I can see my mom picking out the wedding venue as we speak, meanwhile I'm wrestling with myself to stay calm. 
We agreed to fake this relationship which means that everything he says is fake...right? I need to separate the real from the delusion but he unfortunately isn't making this any easier.
We say our final goodbyes to my mom and she watches until we walk up to Jungkook's car, no doubt still watching behind the curtain of one of our front windows, spying on us as if her life depended on it. I try to ignore it though because how we end tonight is really important to me. 
"Can I ask you something?" I say after he finishes putting Juni in the car, him closing his car door and walking me over to my car just a few feet away. "Anything" he says while ushering me toward it with a hand on my waist, a slight sign of protection since it's gotten a lot darker than we both realized. 
"When you said I fit in better than you thought I would...and that you might keep me, was that a part of this whole faking it thing we have going?" I ask, wanting to have an open line of communication with him. We're not shy teenagers anymore so as adults I feel like this is something really important to establish. 
"Do you want it to be?" he asks, standing in front of me while I lean against my car door. It still very much being locked as a very clear sign that I don't want this to end. "I mean we just met and..." I say, trailing off because I don't really know what I want. All I know is I like him. I really really like him and his daughter has got me wrapped around her cute little finger. 
"I know, we can take this slow. If this whole husband/wife thing is too much for you we don't have to do it" he offers and I shake my head, "No, no I want to. I just don't want the lines to get too blurry" I explain and he nods his head and leans his hand against the car right next to where I'm standing. 
"Blurry lines aren't a problem for me when it comes to you, it's your call though" he says and if my heart wasn't already racing it surely would've been now. I look up at him and hold my breath when he gets closer my eyes not leaving his and when he lean down I close my eyes, giving into whatever he wants to do to me. 
"Goodnight" he whispers, his warm breath fanning my neck making me lose my sense of reality for a second, wanting to lose myself in him without abandon. I can hardly breathe let alone think straight and he chuckles at that, standing up straight and ghosting his fingers along my jaw before stepping aside, a clear sign for me to get into my car and when I fumble with my keys he takes them and unlocks it and opens the door for me.
I sit down inside and look up at him, indulging myself for a few more seconds. When he hands me my keys he makes our hands touch only for a moment before saying a soft 'Drive safe'. 
When he closes the door for me I finally let out that breath I had desperately been holding back, watching as he walks back to his car with his little Juni still sound asleep.
I watch him pull out of the driveway and decide that even the way he drives is irresistible, giving me a small wave before he goes and while I'm lost in thought I almost jump out of my skin when I hear my phone ringing and my mom's name pops up.
"Mom I really can't talk right now" I say, putting her on speakerphone and starting to car. "Do not give me that y/n I am your mother and set you up with this man so tell me what is going on" she says and I sigh, checking all my mirrors and heading out as well just seconds later. 
"To be honest mom I don't even know. He's showing me very very clear signs that he's interested in me but I can't really say much of anything else at this point" I admit, the realization that the state of our relationship is anything but normal. 
"We just met last night and things are progressing fast, like really fast" I sigh, stopping at a red light, thankfully giving me a second to think. "Well I'd say this is all a good sign. I mean you're both in your thirties honey so adult relationships can progress a lot faster than when you're younger. He's a man that clearly knows what he wants and he wants you. So go for it" she encourages and I take it all in. 
"You're biased because you're my mother and would love to have his parents as your in-laws" I say and she scoffs. "Yes but that's not the point. You would be a fool if you let a man like him walk out of your life" she scolds and I know she's right. 
"I'll do my best to keep an open mind. But please don't talk to his mom yet, or at least not tonight. I don't need both of you losing sleep over this" I warn her but I know she'll do as she pleases no matter what. "You know I can't do that, but I'll do my best" she says and that is the biggest lie she's ever told but I'm not surprised since we dangled this whole thing right in front of her face. 
"You called her already didn't you?" I sigh and she chuckles. "As soon as I closed the door" she admits and I sigh, not the slightest bit surprised. "Alright mom well I gotta go but we'll talk again soon" I say, pulling into my parking spot and turning off the car. 
"Okay well keep me updated" she says and I can't help but roll my eyes. "Between you and Mrs. Jeon I'm sure you can keep each other in the loop" I say, putting my keys in the lock and closing the door behind me when I step into my apartment. "But I gotta go alright, I'll talk to you later" I say once again and hang up as soon as she says goodbye.
"Hi Salem" I sigh, watching as he jumps down from his cat tree and stretches before walking up to me, rubbing against my leg before walking over to his food bowl, clearly requesting the very late dinner I'm giving him. "I'm sorry boy, I guess I gotta get you one of those timed feeders now from the looks of it" I apologize and give him his food right away. 
I put a couple treats into his bowl as well as an apology and make my way back to my room to jump in the shower and think about everything that happened today. 
Jungkook basically admitted that he wants to get to know me better because he clearly feels like he can see a future between us and to be honest I pretty much feel the same way. It could be that we've caught a severe case of puppy love but I think we both know that this could potentially go somewhere. 
I love spending time with him and Juni, granted this is only the second time we've spent time together but still I can't get over the fact of how natural it all felt. Then he goes and pulls this whole pretend to be married business and now he's telling me he doesn't mind if the lines are blurred between us. 
This is all way too much for one day but I can't deny that I'm not enjoying the journey. This is progressing a whole lot faster than I thought it would but that doesn't necessarily mean that's a bad thing. I guess we've both got a whole lot of learning to do. 
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bad268 · 3 months ago
Text
Burn
Aftermath Affair Pt. 4
(Oscar Pisatri X Reader + Ex! Lando Norris X Reader)
Fandom: RPF/Formula 1
Requested: Nope, happy 5 years!
Warnings: Airing dirty laundry lol, that's about it. Based on the song from Hamilton (not Lewis)
POV: Second Person (You/your/They/them)
W.C. 1710
Chapter Summary: Y/n L/n posted a new video, and everyone's hearts stop.
As always, my requests are OPEN
MASTERLIST // HITLIST
<-Part 3
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~~(^Both from Pinterest)
You moved in with Oscar that night. All you took were your clothes. Everything that Lando bought you now burned you, and you couldn’t give a fuck less about what he bought you. You wanted nothing to do with anything related to Lando. He reached out once, asking where you were. All you said was, “Ask Ava.” He understood then. At least, you assumed he did because you blocked his number and every social media account he had before he could respond. 
You heard from Oscar that Lando was a wreck. You laughed it off because he did this to himself.
Your subscribers noticed the change. Your personal channel content changed from video games to vlogs. You were going out and doing things, in London they learned, and they loved to see it. You still played games, but fewer racing games and more random games you always wanted to play. Your subscribers also noticed how happy you were. They were convinced you and Lando got engaged.
Little did they know, you were falling for a different man.
Your subscribers were thrown for a loop when your shared channel with Lando was deleted. You decided it was time to delete it. They bombarded your socials almost immediately, asking what’s going on. They tried to see if it was rebranded or saved anywhere, but it seemed like your entire relationship was ripped from the internet. Your Instagram was void of Lando, your channel no longer had videos with him, and you didn’t follow him anywhere anymore. They didn’t even notice until then.
~
Y/n L/n just posted!
“A Letter to Lando”
“By now, you will have all seen that the shared channel is gone,” You opened the video. You were sitting in your new recording room. It was more open than your last one, more bright. You had a large window that brought in a lot of natural light, and it was more your style. The last one was just Lando’s recording room that you borrowed, so you couldn’t change it. When you moved in, Oscar told you to make this space yours in any way you wanted. It took a while, but you felt at home for once. “I deleted our shared channel because I am erasing myself from this narrative.“
“I’ve filmed this video at least three times at this point,” You took a breath as you felt tears well up in your eyes again. It’s hard to talk about what happened. Not only the way in which you found out about the cheating but also how you reacted. It was one of the darkest times in your life, and it took a lot to come back from. “I’m sorry, but it’s been a struggle trying to find the words to share this. As many of you have seen on Lando’s Instagram, Lando and I are no longer together.”
Oscar still had to follow Lando on Instagram for team purposes, and that’s how you saw that he posted a hard launch with Ava. 
You still did not know how you wanted to tell everyone what happened. You looked off at the wall. Your viewers couldn’t see it, but there was a picture of you and Oscar from a few months ago. You went out to celebrate 1.5 million subscribers. Oscar insisted, saying it was a huge milestone, and you didn’t want to make it a big deal. He insisted and dragged you out of the apartment. The picture was taken right after you accidentally knocked ice cream onto his nose. Lando wouldn’t even celebrate 1 million with you. Remembering the happiness with Oscar made you smile.
“Clearly, we’re not together anymore,” You sighed as your smile faded. “I’m not going into details, but I hope they’re happy. My friends always said he would do what it took to survive, and they were right. I was blinded by his words and his actions. That’s on me.”
“You talked about how long you have been in love with her, and how you didn’t believe in true love until you met each other,” You let out a breath as you thought of your next words carefully. “You told the world how you brought this girl into our bed, and in explaining your love story, you have ruined our lives. Do you know what my friends said? They called you an Icarus! That’s how my friends reacted, so I’ve decided that I’ll let you wonder how I reacted when you broke my heart, when you tore us apart.”
“I kept every letter you ever wrote to me,” You chuckled lightly as you pulled out a few pieces of paper. “The letter you first asked me out with because you were too scared to ask me face to face, the letter you wrote when we hit each milestone, random letters where you just professed your love, and letters that I would have cherished forever. I also kept the letter I wrote to you when I found out. I thought about reading a few lines out,” You insinuated by opening one of the letters before pulling out a lighter. You had already opened the window and had a bucket of water by your feet, and Oscar was standing outside with a fire extinguisher just in case. You chuckled lightly as you skimmed the loving words that had now turned sour in your eyes. At that moment, you decided you wanted to watch it burn. “I’ll let you all wonder how I reacted when he broke my heart.”
Your soft smile as you read slowly turned to a scowl before you lit the corner of the paper and looked directly into the camera. “Lando, you don’t deserve to see how I reacted. You don’t deserve anything from me. The world has no place in our bed, and they don’t get to know what I said. I am burning the memories, the letters that might have redeemed you. Lando, you can sleep in your office with only the memories of when you were mine.”
You lit all of Lando’s letters one by one before dropping them in the bucket once they were destroyed. Then you grabbed your letter to Lando. You skimmed through the multiple pages of it, remembering the feelings before lighting the corner. “You didn’t give me the decency to tell me yourself. I had to learn of your affair from your friend, so you forfeit the rights to my heart. You forfeit the place in our bed. I hope you’re happy with yourself, Lando.”
You threw the last letter into the bucket and gazed at the camera. Finally, you felt at peace.
“One last note to Lando Norris,” You paused, allowing a small smile to envelop your features, “I hope you burn.”
~
The reactions were almost instant. You sat on the couch curled up against Oscar’s body, rewatching Sex Education. It was one of your favorite shows, but Lando hated it, so you never got to watch it. Oscar binged it once, so he was always down to rewatch it with you. You heard your phone going off, so you pulled it out of your pocket to check it. However, Oscar immediately took it out of your hand and powered it off. 
“Hey, what’s that for?” You chuckled as he moved your phone away from you. “I was gonna check that.”
“Shhh, the show is playing,” He whispered as he leaned toward your ear before turning his attention back to the show. 
“You’re insufferable,” You laughed as you turned your attention back to the screen. It didn’t hold your attention long as you looked back over to Oscar. You were leaning against his chest with your arms wrapped around his waist, so you were looking up at him. He had an arm around your shoulder while the other rested against your thigh that was lying over his lap. You got lost in your thoughts.
Oscar was everything to you. You felt more free whenever you were with him. At first, he gave you the space to refind yourself. He even supported you throughout the journey. Any game you wanted, he bought. Any new hobby, he tried it with you, so you wouldn’t feel alone. He never pushed you to do anything, but he did support you in everything you wanted to try. 
You never felt this supported with Lando. Looking back, he was toxic. He only wanted to play racing games or stupid games. You wanted to try other things, and he would be condescending. He always pushed you to fit the cookie cutter mold that other racing drivers’ girlfriends fit, but that was never going to be you. Oscar encouraged the change because staying in the same thing for too long can burn you out. It was true.
At some point of your staring, Oscar looked down at you with a smile. It wasn’t until he left a kiss on your forehead that you noticed.
When you first moved in, Oscar was very respectful in giving you your space to heal. He made sure to give you multiple spaces where you could retreat to including your own room and recording room. As the time moved on, you slowly migrated into his room for movie nights and late-night binges, and it eventually became you two staying in the same bed all night. Oscar never pushed you away. He wanted you to know that he was there for you whenever you were ready, and he was willing to wait as long as he needed for you. 
“Penny for your thoughts,” He said with a quiet tone, not wanting to disturb the peace.
“I think I’m ready,” You replied in the same tone. You moved to sit up a little more before grabbing Oscar’s hand, “I’m ready to give us a chance.”
“Really?” Oscar asked as he started getting excited before calming back down, “Wait, I don’t want to rush you if you aren’t ready.”
“That’s exactly why I’m ready,” You laughed as you leaned back into him. “You gave me the space to become comfortable again. Oscar, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this comfortable and free with someone in my life! You have been everything but pushy, and I’m ready to try us.”
~~~ Part 5 ->
~
Tags- @barcelonaloverf1life
~~~~~
© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.
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0mysticmidnight0 · 4 months ago
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~Mystically Broken AU - Chapter 7~
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Important info about the series: I was actually planning on deleting all the chapters or discontinuing this series as well as deleting off the face of the earth. But I saw a few comments on my other post that wanted me to continue it. So why not? I'll be finishing this series this month or next month. If I feel like it, I might make a season 2! Anyways, enjoy!!
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You woke up and headed to the kitchen, your mind still stirring with your conversation with Leo. What is happening? Just a month ago, you were being threatened by these guys and now you cared about them.
When you stepped in the kitchen, you saw Raphael. He was the least gruesome of the four but he was the most "scary looking" as most of his victims put it. Or anyone who just happened to see him. Most likely due to his size. His bruised hands. His scarred left eye. You glanced at his clothes.
He was wearing a loose dark black shirt. It used to be ripped. It seemed to be stitched. As well as a lighter black/greyish pair of comfortable pants. A ripped red scarf rested comfortably on his neck. You saw it had initials. "H.Y." He was drinking some coffee while reading some newspaper. you were zoning out until a voice called out to you.
"Good morning."
You respond almost immediately, a bit startled.
"G-Good morning-!"
Damn, why did you stutter it out like that?!
"I heard ya' talkin' to Leo last night."
You didn't notice he was there. You certainly didn't hear him.
"So you did."
He looked at you, you froze.
"Listen, (name) was it? if I know anythin' 'bout Leo is that he's gonna go head first withouta plan. And you'll be right by us to help back him up."
"Im helping.?"
He chuckled a bit at your surprise.
"I'm sorry, I know ya' don't have any experience in this situation but you were the last one with Donnie.. and knowin' him for years has taught me a thing or two. A guy like Donnie has back up plans for back up plans."
You nodded and he showed you something on the newspaper he was reading, They were holding an Auction at the same Museum Donnie was captured.
"No doubt Leo's gonna take this chance to strike."
"No doubt about it, we'll figure out a plan. For now, calm down (Name), I ain't gonna eat ya'!"
You laughed and calmed down as you two spent the entirety of the morning chatting.
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Later at noon, You were with Raph and Michelangelo. Planning your next move.
"Alright, you and Mikey are gonna follow Leo, give him back up but only when completely necessary. I'll stay here and back ya' two up when ya' finally reach Donnie."
You slowly felt Mikey's hand on your shoulder and you shivered.
"Don't worry, (name). I don't bite."
"Mikey, quit scarin' em."
"You're no fun, Raph!"
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I absolutely wanna thank the fans of my series. I'm genuinely surprised and honored!
I will be posting regularly again.
Yours truly,
MysticMidnight
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folliesandfolderols · 10 months ago
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Writing prompts days 19 & 20
From this prompt list. I set a goal of writing at least 150 words per day in 2024, which sounds pretty pathetic but if you take into account the fact that I haven’t written any fiction since 2019 it felt like a feasible target. Anyway I’ve finished the first draft (it topped out at 88k words) and will be unlocking each post as I edit.
read from the beginning here
Day 18 here
***
88. “Might I remind you that these walls aren’t sound proof.”
95. “Need me to remind you on what happened last night?” (slightly modified for characterization purposes)
***
Out of sheer spite, he worked till when he usually got done with patrolling. Or, close to it, anyway. He fell asleep at his desk at some point and woke up with a crick in his neck and his latest case notes punctuated with a huge text block of j's from where his face had pressed against the keyboard. He glowered at the document as he highlighted the pages of sleep typing and deleted them. This proved nothing. It especially didn't prove Damian was right. About anything.
He texted Jason. where are u rn? want to talk to u abt some of the info i found on the weapons trafficking case
Jason replied after a second. Just got done showering in the Cave. I can hang around if you want or meet you next time I come in.
The city lights filtered across the room between the slats of the blinds. Tim frowned at the dust they revealed, floating sparkly in the air. He really needed to get a housekeeping service in here. He really needed to do a lot of responsible adult things.
Well, it would have to wait, because right now he had more important shit to take care of. He typed, i’ll come to u. Jason didn't like letting them know where his safehouses were, and it could be hard to catch him. Plus he wouldn't allow his computers at home to be connected to the Batcomputer, so getting information to him securely was a pain in the ass. Tim transferred what he needed to a flash drive and grabbed the keys to his Taycan.
Once he got to the Cave, he was greeted by the sight of Stephanie and Cassandra sprawled in an impossible pile on the mats in post-patrol sweats.
Stephanie looked over, distracted from spraying her water bottle's straw at Cassandra's open mouth. "Hey, Tim! You okay?" Cass made an outraged sound and leapt to her feet as water splattered all over her chest. Tim shouted with laughter. "Oh, shit! Cass—I'm so sorry—" Stephanie took off her shirt and offered it as a towel.
Cassandra waved her off with a tiny side-smile. "I have more shirts. Put yours back on." She wandered off toward the showers.
Stephanie got up and walked closer to Tim. "Seriously, though, are you all right? It's not like you to bail on patrol at the last minute."
"I'm fine. That was outside interference." He couldn't keep the irritation out of his voice, and Stephanie's gaze sharpened with curiosity immediately. Before she could ask, he cut her off with, "Where's Jason?"
She shrugged. "He left."
"What the fuck?" Tim pulled out his phone and saw a new text waiting.
Shit, sorry, didn't get your message till I was halfway home. I'll come by your place tomorrow. Lmk when you'll be around.
Ugh. Well, Bristol cell reception was notoriously bad, as witness the fact that Tim hadn't gotten any notifications himself. it's cool see u later. "Well, that sucks."
"He stand you up?" Steph asked, voice muffled by her shirt as she pulled it over her head.
"Not on purpose. But there's no real reason for me to be here if he isn't."
"Oh, fine, I see how it is." She grinned at him, sunny and unbothered.
He grinned back."You’re right. You are completely worth driving to see at 4 AM for nothing but the joy of saying hi to you. I've gotta head back, though." Movement near the showers caught his eye, and he glanced over to tell Cassandra goodbye. Instead, he saw Damian, toweling off his hair and walking barefoot toward them.
"Tim?" Stephanie's expression shifted into confusion. "What's the matter?"
"Nothing. I'll see you later." Tim turned on his heel and started walking back to the elevator.
Damian's voice was no louder than normal, but it still stopped him in his tracks. "Drake."
Tim considered keeping walking, but that would lead to questions from Stephanie that he really didn't want to answer. With a resigned sigh, he pivoted again to face Damian. "Yeah?"
Somehow, Damian had ended up halfway across the room without looking like he'd moved more quickly than an amble. "Todd mentioned you had found some new information about the weapons traffickers. What was it?"
Tim gave him an incredulous look but managed to keep his voice even. "I'll have him tell you after we talk tomorrow." He made to leave again.
Before he could set foot in the elevator, Damian's hand had his elbow. "You may tell me now. I don't wish to wait for Todd's inevitable exaggerations and mischaracterization of the information." That was blatant slander of Jason's methodical approach to investigation. Tim opened his mouth to tell Damian so, but he didn't get a word out because Damian pushed him onto the elevator and stepped in with him. "I'll accompany you upstairs."
"Gee, thanks," Tim muttered. He waved goodbye to Stephanie and Cass, who had returned and was looking at them with far too much interest. As the elevator ascended, Tim shoved Damian back and moved as close to the exit as he could. "I don't know what you're playing at and I don't want to," he shot over his shoulder. "Leave me the hell alone."
Damian's face reflected in the door showed nothing but faintly amused contempt. "Tt. You're being childish. All this because you had to miss patrol one night?"
The doors opened to the main study, which was thankfully empty. Tim practically leaped toward the door, but once again Damian's longer legs gave him the advantage. He beat Tim to the doorknob and locked it, then stood with his arms crossed as Tim tried not to run into him.
He leaned back on his heels to glare up at the human barrier between him and freedom. "Damian, what the hell is wrong with you?"
Damian's brows lifted in cool inquiry. "I'm investigating. I thought we left things on good terms, but it seems you've decided to throw a tantrum. I want to know why."
Tim scoffed. "Oh, now you're going to act like implying I'm weak and incompetent to Bruce is somehow an accident? Like it isn't you just trying to push me out again? I can't believe I actually thought you were sincere about wanting me to help you. Was this all just some gigantic ploy to get a closer look at my vulnerabilities? Because it seems kind of hard on you, to have to spend time with someone you hate just to get an advantage."
Damian narrowed his eyes and made a grab for Tim's wrist, but Tim twisted free and shoved him again. Damian used his proximity to seize his shoulders and spin them both so Tim's back hit the door. Damian lowered his face until their noses were practically brushing and snarled, "You're delusional. For all your vaunted detective abilities you're still making unwarranted assumptions with no basis in reality. Make no mistake, the fact that I fucked you has no bearing on my decisions or actions."
Tim stiffened. Anyone could come up the elevator or be walking by in the hall. "Might I remind you that these walls aren't soundproof."
Damian loosened his hold for a bare second, then slammed him against the door again. "Might I remind you of what happened last night?" Tim wondered, through the fog of weariness, if Damian was going to kiss him, but instead, he hissed, "You quite literally fell asleep on your feet at one point while I was drying you off after you showered. That was after I listened to you crying and begging your father and mine to let you save them in your sleep, and then pretended not to wake up while you got up and began working again on just a couple hours of rest." He released Tim's shoulders and straightened to look down his nose. "Of course I told Father you needed to stay home. It was a logical decision based on observation and experience. Which is more than I can say for any of your choices at the moment."
"Oh, fuck your experience." Tim jabbed him in the chest with his finger. "It was none of your business! I'll be the one to judge whether or not I'm able to do my goddamn job, and I don't need to be nursemaided by a guy with a superiority complex big enough to sink the Titanic."
A sudden flush flooded into Damian's cheeks. His fists clenched at his sides. "Perhaps when you cease behaving like an infant, you'll no longer need a nanny to keep you from killing yourself one way or another. Until then, I suppose you'll continue foisting that job off onto those more capable of doing it, as you have so many others."
"Yeah?" Tim straightened too. His hands were shaking. He wrapped his arms around himself to hide it, which had the side benefit of helping a little with the nausea churning in his gut. "Well, I might suck at taking care of myself, but at least I was capable of getting rid of my virginity without having to beg someone I despise to do the job just because no one else wanted it."
Damian's chin jerked toward the ceiling as if Tim had slammed an uppercut to his jaw. Without waiting for him to muster a comeback, Tim unlocked the study door and fled to his car.
day twenty-one here
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sillysurrealwriter · 2 months ago
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Künstlich auf Ewig
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“Goddamn it! Not again!”
I stared at my recent posted artwork, on the platform known as UArt. I’ve been a user of this app for almost a year and posted artwork after artwork....
Yet no matter how much I drew or what I drew for that matter, my likes were only around 5-10. 15 on a good day.
It was so frustrating....
Oh right. Sorry, I haven’t told you who I am yet. My name is Emily and I am a 18 year old artist. I loved drawing for my whole life. To just create my own worlds, characters and whatnot....It’s magical. Art was my favourite subject in school even, the only one I excelled at while the rest was....Let’s not talk about that. I did end up graduating after all (somehow).
I was working as a cashier, at a local supermarket and tried in my freetime my hardest, to make my art business run well. I posted regularly, posted stories and connected with other artists. My online friends liked the water color painting style that my drawings often had. My own artstyle.
Yet....in spite of all the support, I never had anyone commission me... Well except a few people, who ended up scamming me out of 200 dollars and now I am in credit card debt. Urgh.... Mom and dad didnt like that and haven’t talked to me since. Was about 2 months ago.
Right now, I was getting out of bed and looking on my phone. Today, I had a day off so I wanted to spend some time to work on my artwork.
But sadly, my motivation sunk faster than the Titanic.
Because my artwork, which depicted my OC a serial killer who loves strawberry and uses the blood to make strawberry, barely got any likes. Which wasn’t unusual. But I wasn’t mad about that.
No...I was mad at another artwork. Well....No. Calling it artwork would be an insult.
Because I was looking at soulless trash of a beautiful anime girl. An AI-generated image. Guess how many likes that one got?
If you guessed 90k, then you are correct.
There were so many comments, praising this soulless piece of trash. Simping for this thing...just because of the fat milkers and charming smile.
Barely a single comment, called the artist out for using AI. I mean, come on! Her thumbs were as long as the other fingers and as thin too. Not to mention that the dress she was wearing was fused with the background.
Either the “artist” who posted this shit, deleted all the comments. Or some people are too horny, to see what’s in front of them in the mirror...well, on the screen. But you get me, right?
It’s not fair!
I work day and night to generate artwork after artwork, barely getting any likes. And what does this user do?!
Just type in some stupid commands, to generate this shit!
I gritted my teeth and resisted the urge to scream.
God...I needed some coffee......
Forcing myself to get out of bed, I slumped towards the kitchen and immediately poured tons of coffee into the machine, as I sat down and ate some chocolate cake I made from last night. My figure was rather plumb and it was annoying that people make fun of my weight.
But I think I am physically well off. Otherwise, I would have already had an cardiac arrest, lifting those water pack bottles in the back. Seriously.
I am strong enough, to lift two boxes on my shoulder. I am fine, damn it.
Urgh...
Sipping out of my coffee, I noticed yet another rent notice on the ground. The landlord was starting to get impatient.
Damn it............
I needed money quickly.
I...needed-
Suddenly, I saw a notification on my phone. Someone sent me a DM. With a smile, I opened it and began to read it.
“Hey MagicMaroon, I love your art. Its soo cool and it inspired me, to make my own AI Art using your style. Hope you like it!” :D
I stopped smiling, when I saw the post he forwarded too.
It...was the same stupid ai artist......And...
He made an ai-generated image with my style!
And...it got 10 k likes already!
I gritted my teeth angrily and typed.
“Take it down.”
“Why?”, he asked. “I like it.”
“You stole my art!”
“Well, your fault for posting it to begin with.”, he answered, with a laughing emoji. “Nothing on the internet is private. I can do what I want and I gave credit too. Check the desc.”
My eye twitched, as I read the description.
They wrote “Credit to the artist”
I typed again.
“You fucking bastard! Type my name!”
“Hm? But why? It’s not like you have tons of followers anyway. Plus, I made the art. Not you. I am a way better artist than you. Haha xD”
I groaned angrily.
He...he had the nerve to steal my art....something I worked on for years.....And mocked me?!
That’s it!
I quickly took screenshots of the convo, while that bastard kept writing me.
“I made 90 k with all my art!
“I made the best art ever!”
“AI is the future. No one cares about weak humans like you.”
“Hello, why are you not responding?”
I smirked and then swiped to the story board and then made a long post, detailing my screenshots.
And then....I posted it.
It took a bit, but eventually I got likes.
First one...
Then two...
Then three...
I got more and more likes and shares and I waited patiently, for the little shit to write back in shock.
I smiled and then swiped to the DM profile and laughed.
His account was no longer there. It got deleted.
“Take that, art thief!”, I shouted and laughed loudly. God...this made my day......
And it barely started!
Giggling to myself, I suddenly noticed an email popping up. Curiously, I opened it and.....
.......it was from the AI artist, MoonDream AI. He wrote:
“Listen bitch. You made a big mistake. You cost me a lot. You will pay.”
Rolling my eyes, I blocked the bastard and got up happily.
Time to draw another painting.
The next hours were rather uneventful. I painted on my phone, as my account got more and more followers and my art got more and more likes. Many artist reached out to me, in order to share their experiences and frustration with AI art. It was liberating.
And in the upcoming days, I even got a few comissions and I finished em all in a couple of days, making about 400 dollars, enough to pay my stupid rent.
At last, everything was going my way. Which is why I was sitting in my home in the evening, watching Netflix. It had been a week since that AI artist disappeared from the end of the earth and I was feeling quite relaxed, to say the least.
Things were going great.....
At least, I thought they did. Because no matter how hard I tried to draw, I still had that mail in my head.
It sounded threatening...but, what were they gonna do? I blocked them and their account is no more.
I should just relax for the time being. Some guys on the net can talk big, but have next to not action. Which is why, I simply needed to relax for now.
Stuffing my mouth with a bit of popcorn, I hummed relaxed and stared at the TV. Right now, the main character was about to kiss his lover and have hot sex with him. Slowly, I watched in awe as he took off his shirt, for their tongues to clash and their little buddies to perk out, when-
.....something strange happened.
The hand....the hand of the MC.......
Why did it suddenly have a 6th finger? An animation error?
Well.....it happens. It-
Wait...why did the hand now go into the penis, as if it was liquid? And..why....
The men....they kiss but...........their tongues...fuse with each other and their hair..fuses with the noses...
Suddenly, they barely resemble people anymore! Wh...What’s going on?!
The background..it was a bed and now....and now......its...a car? And...then......a boat?
The animation changes constantly! Like...like a machine and...and....and....and....and.....
................Wait...........
I blinked briefly.
And all of a sudden, I was sitting in the darkness. My breathing hitched, as disgusting images shot through my mind.
That grotesque animation....those...disgusting gory visuals....the faces I was looking at, shifting into different people every second.....
I coughed something out. I...I thought it was blood, but....
It...was some black liquid.
I vomited the substance out heavily and fell on the floor, the room filling with some strange scent that reminded me of some rotten meat and sweet candy.
It...was disgusting...So disgusting...
And those images...they kept on coming...and..and...my limbs...
They...twisted...turned....and....and.....lost the right proportions...My leg was twice as big as my body, my head was as small as my pinkie and my limbs were as thin as my hair, as my breasts expanded and became as big as my leg and arm respectively.
I tried to scream, but the substance began to make me choke. I screamed in pain and...and...and.....
................................
................................
...............................
The next day, another artwork was posted on URArt. The artist was Moondr_eam AI....
....and I was the artwork.
The End
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landhoehoehoe · 2 years ago
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monaco blues - Marcus Armstrong
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At first I think I have to apologize to whoever asked for the Dennis fic because I have decided to put it on ice for a while until I actually like what I'm writing again, sorry for that :(
Here's a lil Marcus fic, including smut, unprotected sex (pls don't do that in real life!) and fluff :)
Marcus Armstrong x reader; As Marcus returns to Monaco for the F2 race he keeps an eye out for a certain someone who had made his previous visit an unforgettable experience
You had had sex multiple times that night: The night you should have regretted immediately afterwards. 
But how could you possibly regret a night in which you had had multiple orgasms without having to fake it once, though?
Why should you have regretted it anyways? 
Maybe because the guy you had hooked up with was none other than Marcus Armstrong, as you had only found out the next morning. 
Your social media had already been overflowing: someone had spotted Marcus leaving the club in Monte Carlo with you in his arm. 
The caption had made you stop in your tracks: 
“Spotted: Marcus Armstrong leaving the Royal Club in Monte Carlo with mystery girl #5 on his arm… seems like the Kiwi is really enjoying his holidays ;)”
Seeing that post on Instagram had given you enough reason to regret the whole night, sneaking out of his hotel room as quiet and fast as possible. 
After that shocking revelation it came as no surprise that you were enraged. 
First: He had lied to you about who he was. 
Second: You hated being another number on his list. 
Another girl he had successfully seduced into pleasuring him. So obviously all that rage quickly focused on him, keeping him in your mind for weeks to come even though all you wanted to do was forget about him. Him. Marcus Armstrong. 
Kiwi F2 driver, not an ordinary engineer like he had told you.
The man who had you a moaning mess beneath him the whole night. 
Often times you’d dream of him… of his hands on your body, his lips in all the right places and his damn raspy voice. 
It had made you furious that your were somehow still constantly reminded of his existence when you were so determined to delete him from your memory forever. 
As time passed though, you found yourself thinking about that night less frequently, finally managing to banish Marcus into the darkest depths of your mind. 
Weeks and months flew by, you were buried deep in your studies and barely had any time or piece of mind to spare for him. 
Your primary rage had finally died down, being able to cope with all the Formula 2 pages on Instagram still tagging you in Marcus-related photos. 
Thankfully your account had been set to private from the beginning so no one could actually see your photos and you had had the great joy of declining Marcus’ follow request the morning after. 
So things were looking up for you again, especially since you had just taken your last exam before summer break in May. 
You were on your way back home on your bike, riding through the streets of Monaco with your bag over your shoulder and the biggest smile on your face when suddenly you had to stop. 
The road was closed. 
You frowned, before asking the man standing behind the barrier what was going on. 
“I’m sorry, Miss, but you cannot go through here. Tomorrow’s the first day of the Monaco Grand Prix. Important people will be coming and going constantly.”, he shrugged with an apologetic smile. 
You sighed.
 It was just your luck: Having to take an alternative route around the paddock area which would take you an additional ten minutes. 
And that was when you saw it: A huge truck with the Formula 2 logo on it passing the barrier. 
No. It couldn’t be. 
“Excuse me, sir. Is Formula 2 racing here this weekend as well?”
Your heart dropped when the man nodded. 
If Formula 2 was here, he was here too. 
Suddenly there was a weird sour taste on your tongue, the huge smile from earlier wiped off your face just like that. 
Today was supposed to be such a good day but instead you were slapped in the face by something Marcus-related yet again. 
Great. 
You thanked the man behind the barrier and took the alternative route, not able to stop your mind from already making up the wildest scenarios of possible ways of meeting Marcus again. 
Under no circumstances did you want to see him again, no matter how good the sex had been. You could feel the anger building up inside you again just reliving the morning after. 
Finding out he had been lying to you, exposing you to the media without you knowing. 
So the decision was clear: This next weekend would be spent at home, only occasionally leaving your apartment to go get food. Because you knew just how easy it was running into someone in the small streets of Monte Carlo, so you would not take the risk of encountering him. 
However, your best friend had other plans. 
That same evening she would not stop talking you into going out with her. 
Of course, all of your friends had taken their last exam today, too, so there was a good reason to celebrate. 
You had also wanted nothing more but to go out again after having spent many many evenings studying at home. But that was before you had found out Marcus was in the same town as you again. 
Somehow your best friend still managed to drag you to the club, though. The night was spent always keeping a watchful eye out for a certain Kiwi, but you were in luck. 
Everything went smoothly and you actually allowed yourself to have fun again. 
Only then did you realize how stupid your fear of meeting Marcus had been. You shouldn’t have to be afraid of meeting him, in fact it should be the other way around. 
Because if you ever saw him again so help you god would you give him a piece of your mind. And it would not be pretty. 
So thanks to your new mindset and confidence you found yourself in the club once again on Sunday night after the Monaco Grand Prix. 
You were already a few drinks deep, dancing with your girl friends in the middle of the club, the alcohol taking away any shame you might have felt when grinding your hips against your best friend’s. 
She let her hands wander over your body seductively, from your short top over the white skirt you had thrown on. 
It looked hot, no question in that, but what you didn’t know at that point was that he was watching. 
Marcus had been watching you the whole time, from when you’d first stepped into the club to now. Of course he had hoped to see you again, after waking up to an empty bed a few months ago. 
At first he had been confused as to why you had left without saying anything, then it had dawned on him what had happened and he immediately cursed himself for being so stupid to think lying to you would be a good idea. 
Sadly, one look at his phone had confirmed his worries. 
Although it was helpful that the internet had so quickly found your Instagram account, it had been a slap in the face when you had declined his follow request. 
There had been some horrible headlines out there and he had wanted nothing more than to explain everything to you. 
Yes, he had been hooking up with different girls almost every night during that trip but that had immediately stopped after your night together. 
Because the moment he had laid eyes on you he knew he was done for. 
Everything about you was perfect, leaving him with the want for more. 
He wanted all of you, not just the amazing sex. 
But it had been too late and so Marcus had been left with his own memories of that night, replaying it over and over in his mind. 
So naturally you were all he could focus on when he realized you were in the same club as him, dancing only a few meters away from him, having the time of your life. 
You looked hotter than ever, unholy thoughts racing in his mind immediately. 
His weekend had been one of his best ones in Formula 2 so far so his mood had been good already, but seeing you really was the icing on the cake. 
He just had to wait for the right moment to finally talk to you… and maybe have another drink to boost his confidence. Because he had no idea how to approach you.
 You were so unpredictable, Marcus couldn’t for the life of him read you. 
“Mate, check out Clem, he’s wasted!”, Felipe exclaimed, throwing his arm around Marcus, pulling Marcus’ attention away from you momentarily. 
An amused smile found its way onto Marcus’ face as he watched Felipe run over to Clem to hand him another drink. 
Felipe really was a nightmare friend to party with, Marcus had understood that fairly quickly. 
With a grin still on his face, Marcus turned his head back to you, searching for a white skirt in the crowd…. And his face dropped. 
Your white skirt was no longer pushed up against the girl you had been dancing with but another guy’s hand was snaked around your waist, your back turned towards Marcus. 
He could feel the jealousy bubbling up almost immediately until he noticed that your arms were indeed not around the guy’s neck. 
Instead, you were awkwardly trying to wriggle yourself out of his grip. Relief flushed through Marcus, but the stranger did not get your message, bringing you closer to him again. 
That was it. 
Marcus downed his own drink, making his way across the dance floor to where you were standing. 
His hands found their way around your waist, the movement feeling so natural to him. 
“Having fun, babe?”
Both you and the other guy looked at him with equal confusion, both your eyes widening at the same time as the two of you recognized him. 
“You’re…”, the guy muttered, immediately letting go of you. Marcus squeezed your waist, hoping to relax you. 
“Marcus Armstrong, yes. If you’d please stop harassing my girlfriend that would be very kind of you.”, Marcus gave the stranger a friendly but deadly smile, making him turn around to quickly disappear after a quick apology. 
As soon as the guy was gone you pulled Marcus’ arms off your hips, turning around with a displeased look on your face. Yes, you were thankful the other guy was gone but you did not like the guy standing in front of you now either. 
“Since when am I your girlfriend, huh?”, you scoffed, crossing your arms. 
“Since other guys are touching you.”, Marcus responded taken aback.
“Well goodbye then, babe.”, you gave him a fake smile before turning around to disappear into the crowd. 
However he reacted quickly, grabbing your arm to spin you around once again. 
“Wait! Can we at least talk?”
You let out a sarcastic laugh. 
“About what? The fact that you lied to me or the fact that the whole world knows I slept with you?”
Marcus knew you were right.
“I’m sorry. I truly am. I just panicked when I first saw you because you looked so fucking gorgeous and I didn’t want to fuck it up…”, he stammered, talking fast because he didn’t know how much longer you’d still talk to him. 
“But you did. You fucked up everything, Marcus.”, you sounded hurt and Marcus hated that he was the reason for it. 
“I know…I never meant for any of it to happen, I swear, but…this is me asking you for a second chance. Please.”, he looked down at his hand on your arm, then back at you. 
You didn’t know what to say, your brain not functioning properly anymore from the alcohol. 
All you knew was that you definitely didn’t hate him even though every part of you wanted you to hate him. 
And you should… but you didn’t. 
“You lied to me.”, you took a step towards him, looking into his eyes. 
“Thanks to you I still get messages from random people on the internet on a daily basis.”, another step towards him. 
You were now close enough to feel his hot breath as he looked down at you, not daring to break the eye contact. “Thanks to you my standards are so fucking high when it comes to sex.”, your drunken mind took over as your hand came up to his chest, feeling his heart beating almost as fast as your own did. 
Neither of you knew what was going to happen next, yet you both knew exactly where you’d end up this night. 
“I fucking hate you.”, both your hands now rested against his chest, still keeping the eye contact. Marcus gulped audibly. 
“And I hate that I still want you.”
Then you stood on your tiptoes, your hands finding his neck to pull him down to finally connect your lips. Marcus didn’t need much time to adjust, his hands naturally finding your waist again, pulling you into him tightly. 
When his tongue slipped into your mouth you unfortunately had to admit how much you had missed this feeling of absolute electricity and excitement flowing through your body. 
A feeling only Marcus’ touch could evoke. 
Your hands started playing with his hair while his hands found your ass, occasionally slipping under the skirt, making you moan into his mouth. 
Marcus could feel himself getting hard within seconds, which wasn’t a surprise to him seeing as he’d pleasured himself many times thinking of you in the past couple of months. 
“You wanna go somewhere else?”, you whispered into the kiss, Marcus nodding immediately. 
You pulled apart and he looked at you again with…adoration in his eyes?
 Then he took your hand in his, leading you out of the club, where a lot of people where currently waiting for taxis to arrive. 
As you waited for your taxi in the cold, away from any curious eyes, you let go of his hand to hug yourself, spending you some warmth. Monaco at night could be freezing, especially when you were only in a short top and skirt. 
Marcus noticed your shivering, but didn’t have a jacket to offer you since he’d only come in his shirt. 
“Come here, you’re freezing.”, he pulled you close to him, encasing you in his arms delicately. Your hands rested against his chest as you looked up at him. 
Only then did you realize that it was going to hurt like hell, leaving him tomorrow, knowing he would forget about you soon enough. 
“What are you thinking about?”, he smirked, giving you a peck to the lips. 
Quickly you shook off your sadness and intrusive thoughts because you didn’t want to show your vulnerability, shaking your head. 
“Nothing..it’s just cold.”, you forced a smile on your face before burying your head in his chest to avoid his gaze. Marcus knew something was off by the tone of your voice and the half smile you had put on, he just couldn’t pinpoint it, which is why he decided to let it go.
 If you wanted to tell him, eventually you would. 
Then Marcus got a text. 
“Our taxi isn’t going to be here for another thirty minutes, they’ve blocked some roads.”, he groaned, letting his head fall back. You chewed on your lip, looking back up at him. 
“We could go to my place..”, you suggested shyly, catching his attention. 
Obviously he hadn’t considered that option yet. 
“It’s only a five minute walk from here.”, you added, watching as he contemplated the option. 
Then he nodded, letting you take the lead while he intertwined your fingers again. 
On your way to the apartment the tension and anticipation almost became unbearable so it came as no surprise that Marcus had you pushed up against the nearest wall, kissing you deeply as soon as you had closed the door behind him. 
You moaned as he pressed himself against you, feeling his erection against your core. 
Your hands toyed with his hair, pulling slightly at his roots as he moved from your lips to your neck, leaving sloppy kisses everywhere. 
He sucked and bit at your neck, making you writhe under his touch while his hands roamed your body, coming to a hold at your ass. 
He had so desperately been craving to touch you for the past months, he felt like an addict. 
First he lifted one of your legs around his waist, gripping your thigh as if you were his own personal drug: not able to get enough of you, of your body. “Jump.”, he whispered into your ear, his free hand already on its way to your other thigh. When you wrapped both your legs around him, he pushed you into the wall even further to hoist you up properly. 
His face was now at the perfect height to attack your cleavage, kissing and sucking his way to your nipples. 
“Marcus..”, you moaned, your mind already hazy. 
He responded by finally reaching his hand under your skirt, pushing your underwear aside quickly. 
Your hips bucked into him at his touch, making him smirk against your skin because he knew he had full control over you. 
“Already so wet for me?”, he asked, cockily leaning his head back to look at you. You rolled your eyes. 
“Just shut up and touch me.”, you pulled his head towards you again, connecting your lips to a fiery kiss. However, he decided to tease you a little while longer, letting his digits ghost over your clit. 
“What’s the magic word, darling?”, he smirked once again, enjoying your frustrated expression. You weren’t going to give in to his dominance play though. At least not yet. 
“If you won’t touch me I can gladly touch myself.”, you replied, trying to free yourself from his grip. 
Marcus was quick to tighten his grip though, giving you a challenging look as he pressed you against the wall harder. 
“We both know it wouldn’t be the same though.”, he started peppering your neck with kisses, your body reacting to his touch automatically, arching your back towards him even though you didn’t want to. 
You could feel him smile against the crook of your neck, so you pulled his hair back rather harshly, forcing him to lean his head back with a groan. 
As you kept him from kissing you it was now your turn to smirk at him. 
“Fine. No touching means no kissing then.”
Marcus scoffed, rolling his eyes. 
“You know you can be a fucking brat sometimes.”
To this you only smiled, knowing you had him right where you wanted because you noticed his gaze wandering in-between your tits and eyes again, hungry for your skin. 
“Are you gonna touch me then?”, you asked impatiently, batting your eyelashes at him innocently all while stilling having a grip on his hair, keeping him at a safe distance. 
You thought he was about to give in, lose this battle, but you had been wrong.
 Instead of finally pushing his fingers inside you, he placed you back down, letting go of your hips. Confused, you went to say something but were quickly cut off by him grabbing your hips, turning you around to push your front to the wall, his cock now pressing against your ass. 
However, you couldn’t help but smile. 
You liked it when Marcus gave you the control but you loved his dominant side even more. 
Of course Marcus didn’t miss your smile either, letting out a small laugh. 
“That’s what I thought.”
As you weren’t really in a position to touch him yourself, your only option was grinding against his cock as best as you could. 
Marcus let out a heavy breath which didn’t go unnoticed by you. 
His hand wrapped around your hair, holding you in place as his other hand wandered up your ass under your skirt. 
He flipped the skirt up, exposing your ass to him so that he could lay a sharp slap to your ass, making you gasp. 
“That’s for not following orders, darling.”, he tsked, soothing the spot with his hand. 
“Look so good for me tonight.”, he groaned, taking in the view of your half naked ass. 
“Only for you..”, you hoped to get him to touch you again. 
Unimpressed, Marcus let out a raspy laugh. 
“No shit, this pussy is mine.”, suddenly his hand came around your waist to cup your pussy, making your hips buck into his hand. “Please, Marcus..”, you moaned, throwing all of your previous intentions out of the window to finally beg for him. 
“Please what? Use your words, love.”, Marcus had a cocky smirk plastered on his face again, knowing he’d won this round. 
You rolled your eyes but decided to surrender, being too desperate for his touch. 
“Please touch me, Marcus. Need your fingers inside me.”
That was all it took to have Marcus’ fingers pull your slip aside, this time wasting no time in entering you. 
You pressed your ass even further against his cock at the sensation, making him grow even harder. 
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”, he asked with a smug look on his face, moving his fingers faster inside you while his hand that was in your hair came around to cup your chin. 
He turned your face to look back at him, giving you a sloppy kiss of appreciation. 
Then his hand went to massage your clit, pulling another loud moan from you. 
“Not sure how much longer I can last…”, you gasped, feeling the familiar knot tighten in your stomach. Marcus sped up his fingers just until your head fell back onto his shoulder: The sign that you were about to cum. 
So he pulled his fingers out of you quickly, leaving you frustrated and empty. 
“Marcus..”, you cried out immediately, a tear falling from your eye over the ruined orgasm. 
But Marcus only rolled his eyes. 
“Will you stop whining?”, he retorted in a rather annoyed voice, pulling down your skirt and panties as well as his own pants. 
You waited in anticipation as Marcus stroked his rock hard cock before he let it glide through your folds. 
He pushed you back against the wall, his free hand around your neck. Your legs wanted to give out from the sensation of the ruined orgasm still looming over you, but Marcus held you in place firmly. 
Even now he couldn’t stop the teasing though: not entering you yet, even though he saw your pleading face, his own dick twitching in his hand. 
He let his cock swipe through your folds again, gathering all your wetness before finally pushing into you. 
The moan you let out as he entered you was a sound Marcus would replay often times when he’d pleasure himself in the future. 
For a moment he stilled his movements, giving you enough time to adjust. “Ready?”, as he kissed the spot beneath your ear you shivered, nodding eagerly. 
“Want you to fuck-”, you replied, the rest of your sentence being lost in a moan because he started thrusting into you at a steady fast pace. 
Your mouth hang wide open, feeling him grab your ass tightly, guiding your hips towards his cock while he pounded into you. 
“Oh fuck.”, he hissed when you clenched around him, his hand coming up to your neck to pull your back against him. 
The new angle had him hitting all the right spots inside you, making your legs shake. 
“You like that?”, he smirked, applying light pressure to your neck. 
However your brain wasn’t exactly able to form sentences right now so you didn’t answer, giving him a moan instead. But that didn’t satisfy Marcus. 
He squeezed your neck harder, his other hand finding your clit while he kept his relentless pace. 
“Answer me.”, he growled into your ear, a squeal escaping your lips as he pressed his fingers against your clit. 
“Yes. Fuck yes!”, you exclaimed as he filled you up completely, pushing you further against the wall again as he stilled his movements inside you. 
“That’s my girl.”, he smiled contently, continuing thrusting into you again. 
He had you right where he wanted and you both knew it. 
“Now be a good girl and cum all over my cock, yeah?”, his fingers played with your clit, feeling your walls tighten around his cock once again in response. 
You couldn’t see it but he was truly struggling not to cum before you because the feeling of you around his cock was a feeling like no other.  
So he sped his fingers up, rubbing circles on your clit whilst your legs almost gave out under you.
 He noticed you struggling to stand on your own quickly, his hand that had grabbed your neck now finding its way back to your hip, holding you in place. 
“Wish you could see yourself right now: Taking my cock so well, such a slut for me.”, he grunted, knowing his words were all you needed to send you over the edge. 
And he was right: A string of curse words fell from your mouth before he felt you clenching around him, riding out your high. 
It took everything in him not to cum inside you right then when you were milking his cock so good, but tonight he wanted your mouth. 
Wanted to see you on your knees for him. 
When he felt you coming down from your high, he pulled out of you, turning you around to him. You already knew what he wanted, giving him a lazy kiss before getting on your knees. 
His cock was painfully hard and dripping from your own wetness. Quickly you sucked him clean, tasting your own juices. 
Then you started to take him into your mouth fully, bobbing your head up and down his shaft. Marcus’ hands gripped your hair, holding it back into a makeshift ponytail as he threw his head back at the feeling of your lips around his cock. 
It was the most incredible feeling and a feeling Marcus didn’t ever want to miss again. 
He looked back down at you, giving him the best head of his life all while looking so fucking beautiful. 
“That’s it, darling.”, he praised, his dick twitching in your mouth as you moaned around him. 
“Gonna fuck your face, yeah?”, he waited until you nodded before he started moving his hips to hit the very back of your throat with his tip. 
Even though tears were falling from your eyes and your were already gagging you held on to his thighs, knowing this was all he needed to cum. 
And just as you had predicted, he came only moments later, you swallowing his cum without hesitation. 
“Fuck, baby…”, he cursed, running a hand through his hair. 
When he came down from his high, he pulled you back up on your feet, holding your waist tightly because he knew your legs were still shaking. 
He sent you a beaming, fucked out smile before kissing you in the softest way possible. 
No dominance play, no lip biting, only his soft lips on yours and his hands around your waist. It made you melt right into his touch, leaning against him as your hands held on to his neck. 
You squealed when he suddenly picked you up, wrapping your legs around his torso automatically. 
With your help, he managed to navigate around your apartment and eventually find your bedroom to lay you down on your bed. 
Just seeing the hungry look he gave you as he towered over you was enough to make you horny again, knowing exactly this wouldn’t be the last time you’d be screaming his name tonight. 
The sun shone through your half-closed blinds, making you blink. 
In your half asleep state you replayed yesterday’s events, mentally preparing yourself to wake up to an empty bed. 
It would hurt like a bitch, that was for sure. 
But you couldn’t really blame Marcus for leaving, because you had done the exact same thing to him. 
And besides, you guys weren’t even together so he really had no reason to spend more time with you than necessary. 
It wasn’t until you heard a deep grumbling sound behind you that you noticed the arm draped around your waist, pulling you close towards Marcus’ chest. 
He had stayed? 
Confused, you turned around in his arms to look at him. 
He had been sleeping before, but thanks to your sudden movement he started blinking, too, until he could open his eyes fully. 
“Good morning.”, he smiled when he saw you looking at him. 
You worked your brain overtime but still didn’t understand the reasoning behind Marcus still laying here with you. 
“Why are you still here?”
That was about all you could say at the moment.
 Yesterday you had been so sure that this was going to be another one night stand with ties being cut between the two of you again the next morning. 
Marcus’ smile dropped, an insecure look on his face now. 
“Should I leave?”, he asked, a trace of disappointment in his voice, which confused you even more. 
“No, don’t!”, quickly your hand came up to cup his face. 
“I mean…er…you can leave.. if you want to.”, you added, just as insecure as Marcus, beginning to take your hand off his face again. 
But Marcus held your hand in place, kissing the inside of your hand. 
“No, no. I don’t want to..If that’s ok with you..”
You couldn’t help but laugh, making Marcus frown in confusion. 
“My god, we really are stupid, aren’t we?”, your laughter made Marcus’ frown turn into a wide smile again. 
He pulled you even closer into him, connecting your lips to a kiss. 
And it just felt so right that you knew you couldn’t let him go. Not today, not ever again. 
717 notes · View notes
heyiwrotesomethings · 2 years ago
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Let Me Help You, Baby
Shinobu Kochou x She/Her Reader Modern AU
A/N: A short fic based off of this post I saw awhile ago and immediately thought of Shinobu. I headcanon that she would sooner shatter a pickle jar against a wall than ask somebody to open it for her. Just something a little fun that I hope you’ll all enjoy! Word Count: 845
(Y/n) hummed quietly along to the music playing through her earbuds as she walked, only stopping to take an earbud out when she reached the lecture hall. She opened the door as quietly as she could and upon seeing that it was empty, she opened the door fully and walked inside. The lights flickered on when the sensors detected her motion and she walked down the aisle until she got to the seat she most preferred.
She dropped her backpack to the ground and sat down with an exhausted sigh. She had decided to get to her 8am lecture almost an hour early today so she could get some stuff done and just chill out a bit before the rest of the eighty students that had taken the course filled the room with noise and activity.
She took out her laptop and began sifting through her emails, cursing out the professor she had for a class later in the day for sending an email out at 2:59am concerning the essays that were supposed to be due today. Fortunately, it would be a quick edit for her, but if the printers sensed her fear and decided not to work for her again she would be screwed.
She deleted the email with an extra hard click. Whatever, if he had a problem with the essay she printed out last night then he shouldn’t have sent an email out at such an ungodly hour. She reached under her seat and slipped her thermos of coffee out of her backpack. Hopefully the earthy aroma would settle some of the bitterness in her soul. She attempted to twist the cap off but she must have screwed it on super tight because the cap didn’t budge. She braced the thermos between her thighs and tried again, tugging at the cap until there were spots in her vision and her hand hurt.
She grunted with displeasure and put the thermos on the table next to her laptop. What a great start to the morning. She nearly jumped out of her skin when a pair of hands rested against her shoulders. She yanked her earbuds out of her ears and quickly turned around, sinking back in her chair when she recognized the person standing over her.
“Shinobu,” she breathed, holding a hand to her chest, “you scared me!”
“I’m sorry,” Shinobu grinned, not looking sorry in the least, “that wasn’t my intention. I just walked in and saw you with your head almost between your knees. Finals aren’t here yet, it’s a little early to have a mental health crisis.”
(Y/n) liked Shinobu, she had only talked to her a handful of times, usually when the professor asked for groups to discuss the readings and such, but even just talking about the topics in class (Y/n) thought she was really cool and fun to talk to.
“I was just trying to open my thermos. I don’t know how I managed to screw it on so tight.” (Y/n) explained, gesturing to the thermos. It stared back at her, mockingly.
Shinobu tutted sympathetically and slid into the sliding chair beside (Y/n), setting her bag to the ground and out of the way.
“Let me help you, baby.”
Before (Y/n) could recover from the literal shivers shaking her entire nervous system, Shinobu reached out and took the thermos into her hands and proceeded to… not open it.
Oh she tried, but no matter how hard she twisted, now matter how hard her arms shook, the cap stayed firmly in place. Her cheeks were slightly flushed, but she was persistent with her efforts.
(Y/n) never felt more in love.
Even as other students began filtering in, Shinobu kept at it, shooing (Y/n)’s hands away when she tried to give her a break. She couldn’t give up now. She refused to. It would damage her pride far too much if she couldn’t open a damn bottle!
“Morning!” A chirpy voice, far too chipper for 7:55 in the morning, greeted. (Y/n) looked up and waved at Mitsuri as she slid past, plopping her bag beside Shinobu.
“Good morning, Mitsuri.”
Mitsuri opened her mouth to ask how (Y/n) and Shinobu’s weekend went when she noticed Shinobu struggling with the thermos.
“Oh! Let me help you with that, Shinobu.”
Mitsuri took the thermos from her hand before Shinobu could try to stop her. She put her hand on the lid and with a small grunt of effort, the cap twisted off with a small, pop! With a pleased nod, she handed the thermos and the cap back to Shinobu, who stared at it blankly.
“There you go!”
“…Thank you, Mitsuri.” Shinobu deadpanned.
Mitsuri smiled and opened her bag to retrieve the materials she needed for class. Meanwhile Shinobu slid the thermos towards (Y/n) and ran a hand through her mussed purple hair, a bit of an embarrassed look upon her face.
“I loosened it for her.”
“Oh definitely.” (Y/n) readily agreed, she took a sip of her coffee and winced.
That was definitely yesterday’s coffee, but Shinobu didn’t need to know that.
259 notes · View notes
softtdaisy · 2 years ago
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Since the requests are open...Imagine reader furious with Andrew (or Peter),thinking that she was deceived by him after his ex-girlfriend posted a picture of the two together on IG, with a dubious & enigmatic caption. Much anguish, drama, reader fleeing, Andrew/Peter searching for reader, +18... but happy ending, please! Thanks! 😘
I love how I can picture the post perfectly 👀
You’ve been with Andrew for a good year now, you got together a few months after his last break up but you knew each other for years so it was like the right moment for you to finally be together
The thing is, his ex wasn’t and still not happy about him moving on so easily especially with someone she always saw as an opponent
You weren’t following each other on social media so you wouldn’t have seen her post if your friends didn’t send it to you to understand what was going on
She posted a picture of Andrew and her looking super happy and in love (this is the one I had in mind) with a caption saying “I want to live here. In his arms. Where I know it’s safe.”
You turned off your phone immediately. You couldn’t deal with the comments, calls and texts asking if you were still with Andrew or why she posted that. You had no idea. Andrew was away for a movie these past weeks and came back only yesterday. How can you be sure he didn’t enjoy some nights with her?
You left the house for the day. You needed some time alone to think about all this. When your heart was trying to make you think about Andrew worrying, you fought it. You wanted him to think about what he might lose.
Of course when you came back that evening, he jumped to you. “I tried to call you all day, honey where were you? Why did you disappear? Is everything alright?“ you hated how he sounded so worried, like he cared for real. You pushed him to go to your bedroom.
Andrew wasn’t going to let you run away without explaining yourself. He grabbed your wrist and when he met your anger eyes, he knew something was wrong. “Ask your lovely ex…or should I say girlfriend? I don’t know. Tell me Andrew, how many times did you fuck her when you were away?”
“What are you talking about?” If he was playing dumb, he was good ‘cause you’re almost believing he had no idea about the situation. When he saw the picture, you could tell from his face he was confused.
“This is a super old picture from her cousin’s wedding, the summer we dated.” He grabbed your phone to zoom on it. “Look, I was even wearing the bracelet that broke during our first night together.” He was right. You could recognise that bracelet that broke on your face perfectly. The laugh you had that night made you love him even more.
You felt so guilty suddenly, how could you believe Andrew would cheat on you? But of course, when you tried to hide, Andrew immediately grabbed you and hugged you. “I’ll send her a text to ask her to delete that. She shouldn’t post picture of us.” He kissed your hair softly before lifting your face up.
“I’m sorry” you mumbled and he caressed your lips with his thumb. “You know, if you needed me to remind you how much I love you, you should have ask rather than worrying me.” He said before kissing you
Andrew spend the rest of the night making sure you know how much he loves you and every single part of your body.
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stevestevesstuff · 3 years ago
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‘You’ll never be her’ pt.2 |tasm!Peter x reader
This story is HEAVILY inspired by this one from  TheBrookeParker                         --> https://thebrookelupin.tumblr.com/post/671848460364955648/you-arent-gwen-andrewpeter-x-femreader
PLEASE! Please read it, IT IS AMAZING!!!!
I hope it is okay that I used your story as a BIG inspiration for mine :)
If not, i will always be ready to delete it.
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I followed that tingly sensation until a came across an empty side-street, which was filled with trash-bags, rats and other stuff. I carefully landed and walked through.
I heard some rattling and I swirled around.
That’s when I saw her.
 Oh no…
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 ‚No! No no no no no! (y/n)!’ I ran towards her lifeless looking body.
‘Please! My love! What happened? Please! Answer me!’
 I was desperate. Whilst I kneeled beside her and tried to pick up her blood streamed body, I cried. This view was horrible. Her hair was messy and dirty, wounds painted her beautiful face red and big blue bruises showed on her neck.
 ‘Please my love! Talk to me! Please!’ I cried out. The tears ran down my cheeks, salty and warm.
‘I didn’t mean anything I said. You have to believe me! Please!’
 She didn’t move. Not her hand nor an eye. I was devastated.
I tried to calm down, which was easier said than done, but I tried to remember the breathing method (y/n) taught me when I was nervous.
 A deep breath in.
Hold it.
A deep breath out.
 And then, there it was. HER HEARTBEAT.
I was so sad, I couldn’t even hear her strong heartbeat with my spider-tingle.
 ‘OMG! Thank you!’ I was relieved. More than I’ve ever been.
 I picked her up carefully, put my mask back on and started swinging towards the nearest hospital. When I arrived, (y/n) was immediately surrounded by nurses who took her to the ER. One side of me was relieved that I found her and that I could bring her to a hospital, but the other one…. The other one killed me.
This.
All of this.
This was my fault.
It was my fault that she left her OWN apartment in the dark.
It was my fault that she got beaten up.
It is my fault that she is in this state now.
 Damn! Why am I so God damn stupid?!
Why did I say these things?!
I didn’t even mean them….
 When I knew that (y/n) was in safe hands, I started swinging home. On the way there, I thought about stopping by at (y/n)’s mother. I mean, I was the reason here daughter is in hospital. Before I could think about it, I already swung towards her apartment.
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The next morning, I woke up with a pounding headache. The first thing I wanted was to open my eyes, though the light was way too bright, I was way too tired. Before I could try anything else, I noticed a hand on my left one. The thumb stroking the back of my hand.
 Finally. I could open my eyes. It still hurt, because of the bright light, but it was bearable.
I looked around.
Where the fuck am I?
Wait….
 Suddenly, everything that happened last night flushed back into my brain like a flood.
Oh god….
A dared to look to my left to see who the hand on mine belongs to.
Peter.
 ‘Hey….’ I croaked out.
‘Oh my god! (y/n)! You’re awake!’ Peter jumped up from his seat and tried to hug me.
‘Wow, slow down bug boy…’
‘I am so, so sorry my love! I never meant to say those horrible things to you! You are my life, my world. I hope you can forgive me. Please my love…’
 He looked into my eyes with his teary ones. It was a truly heart-breaking view, you could literally see the regret written all over his beautiful and handsome face. This was the moment, where I started to feel bad. Bad for just leaving without saying anything, bad for walking around New York at night, alone.
But why should I feel bad? Wasn’t this a completely normal and human reaction to leave a situation that was more then uncomfortable for you? I don’t know, but I definitely should NOT feel guilty.
 ‘(y/n)? Are you okay? Talk to me, please.’ Peter said desperately.
‘If you never meant to say it, then why did you?’ I asked with a small voice.
‘I-…I don’t know. It just came out and I didn’t even realise what I had said until I could not find you behind me on your bed. But please believe me. I love you and I would NEVER replace you. With anyone. I promise my dear. I love you.’
 Now I started to cry too. Salty tears slowly found their way from my eyes down my bruised cheeks. It burned a little when the wetness touched my wounded skin.
 ‘…I love you too Pete…’
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archivallyfound09 · 2 years ago
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I Am Good, I’m VERY Good. pt. 2
So I wrote this entire thing once, saved it in drafts, and clumsy fingers deleted it. Running with it in new direction.
Don't steal or post people's things as your own-not cool. None of these characters are mine-just borrowing them to advance the plot.
Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Reader, Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Reader
Warnings: None yet, no promises made at all (I mean, did you see the pairings now?)
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Thanks @unicornships for the gif!
You waited, back to the bar, on the outdoor deck. As the waves crashed, you waited to see if the man whose beer you had just snatched would follow you.
"Beautiful," you heard a voice say and turned with an exaggerated eye roll.
"If you're waiting for me to say 'the night is beautiful' and then you feed me some bullshit line about it being about me-" you eye roll ended and it was not on the pilot you were expecting. You let your voice trail off as he laughed uncomfortably. "uh, sorry, I thought you were-"
"Hangman, no I get it. I saw you swipe the beer. Impressive! You must've said something to stall out his engines," he laughed, "I'm Bradley Bradshaw- they call me Rooster around here."
You smiled and shook his hand with your own introduction. You both stood in a comfortable silence, watching the waves along the beach. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Rooster open his mouth to say something, but you were startled when the now-empty beer bottle was pulled out of your hand from the other side of your peripheral.
"I see you met this little lady," Hangman drawled, a slight touch of envy in his voice as he spoke over you to Rooster. The latter barely adjusted as he attempted to decipher Hangman's meaning- you hadn't mentioned any history between the two of you.
"Yeah, I met the girl that stole your beer and single handedly shut you up," Rooster said calmly, not turning to look at either of you. You saw Hangman's grip tighten around the bottle as his jaw set. "The quiet was nice for a bit," Rooster smiled at you, "so thanks for that bit of paradise." He tipped an imaginary hat at you and walked back inside, you eyes following him, while Hangman's were on you.
------
You woke up early the next day, running a hand through your hair and sighing. First days were not your favorite, but you got up, bracing for the day, knowing something was going to happen with this crew.
You got to the base about 10 minutes ahead of schedule and parked, grabbing your laptop and files off the passenger seat. As your aviators slid down your nose, you glanced up and saw a group of green flight suits heading into a nearby hangar. You immediately spotted Hangman leading the group, laughing loudly, his hair much blonder in direct sunlight.
You then saw Rooster and smiled. He was talking to the female pilot in the group, 'Phoenix' you thought to yourself, glancing down at the personnel files in your arms. You closed the car door and started walking in, entering the opposite end of the hangar, grateful when no one spotted you.
You saw Vice Admiral Simpson introducing the mission leader and the man who would be training this hand-selected group for an impossible mission. Rear Admiral Bates marked your entry and gave you a nod and a smile, which you gratefully returned. You turned your attention to the gentleman walking up to the front of the group. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell- you had recently learned a bit of his reputation here and with the Navy in general (an uncomfortable conversation with Rear Admirable Cain a week prior had given you quite a bit of context).
With Maverick's entrance and explanation of this suicide mission, he turned it back over to Simpson. "We are also lucky enough to have not only the Pentagon's support in this, but also their watchful eye," Simpson stated, dryly and clearly annoyed. He held out a hand to you, with all recruits turning around in their chairs to spot you. You stared straight ahead with a slight wave, afraid to make eye contact with anyone who had spotted you at the bar last night.
"She's got some experience in this area," Simpson continued, "Air Force Academy Graduate, Combat Systems Officer with the Air Force, and now with the Intelligence and Defense department at the Pentagon." You saw Maverick turn and look at you, an impressed look covering his features. You gave a small smile and nodded.
"She's here as a guest- a contractor with clearance to help complete this mission and report back anything the Pentagon needs. She's got some experience in this area. No rank, no need to salute. Any questions?"
You held your breath when no one moved. Simpson stepped aside, lighting the screen-behind him with battle plans. You fought to keep a smile down as you noticed the last two pilots to turn and look back to the front were Rooster and Hangman, the two sharing a look of disbelief between them. It was then you saw the faces you were hoping not to.
Both looked like you had just issued an even larger challenge than the mission in front of them.
----
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17
Part 18
Part 19
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illicitlimerence-writes · 3 years ago
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close friends | t. holland
pairing: tom holland x fem!reader word count: 3.1k warnings: some language, some angst if u squint. otherwise it's just fluff and tom being tom. didn't proofread this. a/n: so tumblr decided to be a little bitch and deleted this t w i c e. so i had to write this t h r e e times. this came up in my head after i got like three notifications that tom posted something on his ig story, and then it turned out he deleted them. as always, english isn't my first language so i'm sorry if this gets confusing bye. also, i was listening to cardigan by taylor swift as i wrote this.
my masterlist
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so we all know tom sucks at instagram. that's a surprise to literally no one. no matter how many times you tried to teach him he still doesn't get it, and it was only a matter of time before he finally posted something he shouldn't have.
it was just one of those days, you missed him like hell. he was away filming the third spiderman, and you had to stay behind because of work.
naturally, you relied on face time and texts to survive and fill the void he left behind. you loved talking to him, listening as he rambled on and on about his adventures on set. a love-struck look on your face as you tried your hardest to stay awake despite the urge to close your eyes.
eventually, sleep took over you, and you drifted off with the sound of his voice lulling you to sleep. he stopped talking abruptly when he didn't hear your soft chuckling in reply to the story he was telling.
instead, he saw your sleeping figure, long steady breaths moving your chest up and down. and he cursed himself for making you stay up so late for him. he took one last look at you, taking a screenshot of your sleeping form.
he quickly hung up the video call and opened instagram instead, uploading the screenshot to his story,
'missing my favorite girl, thank you so much for everything you do for me. x @yourusername'
the next morning you woke up to the sound of your phone buzzing. at first, thought someone had died as one notification after another filled your screen. most of them came from instagram, so you opened that app first.
thousands upon thousands of mentions, tags and new followers. you frowned, and suddenly a text from your friend popped up at the top of your screen.
'omg just saw his story. so happy for u both'
who's story? what was going on?
you refreshed your timeline, and tom's icon appeared, a colorful circle around it. an odd feeling sank in your stomach. you tapped his icon and suddenly your screen was full of... you.
a picture of you, sleeping. tom's smiling form in a small rectangle on the bottom right corner.
oh god. you read the words he wrote, over and over again. your heart pounding in your chest, and a sudden wave of fear ran through your body. but then you read his words once more, and all you could feel was love. pure, unconditional affection.
sure, your families and closest friends knew about you, but you hadn't talked about making your relationship public yet, but there was nothing you could do now.
you sighed, leaning back on your pillows. a small chuckle left your throat.
you grabbed your phone once again, quickly facetiming tom. you knew he had an early call today, and you hoped you could catch him while he was still in his hotel.
it ran once, twice, and then you saw him, hair all over the place, bare chest. hands rubbing sleep off of his face.
"mornin', darling." he said, his raspy morning voice making you smile.
"hi, baby. did i wake you?" you asked, sitting up and crossing your legs.
"yeah but it's fine, princess. i did keep you up last night so it's only fair."
"i'm sorry about falling asleep on you, that was a really nice picture you took last night," you lifted one eyebrow, and watched as he smiled at you sheepishly.
"i thought you looked really pretty, you always look pretty," he said, grabbing the water bottle on his nightstand and taking a swing.
"thanks, i hope the whole world thinks so, too," you declared. leaning your chin on your fist, watching him expectantly.
he did not react like you had expected him to.
his breath hitched as he sipped his water, and suddenly all you could see was the cream-colored ceiling, as you heard him spitting out and coughing.
"tom! oh, my god! are you okay?" you asked, getting on your knees and holding your phone up to your face, "tommy?" you repeated when he finally stopped coughing, you could now hear his heavy breaths.
at last, you saw his curls appear from the bottom of the screen.
"wh-what did you just say?" his voice was rough, his chest heaving.
"are you okay?" you asked again.
"ye-yeah i'm fine. babe, what did you mean by 'the whole world'? did something happen?" he asked, frowning. you echoed his expression, watching him for a second.
“you posted a picture to your story,” you repeated, and he nodded.
“yeah, i posted it to my close friends, i-” he stopped mid-sentence, eyes growing comically wide. “oh shit, did i-” he caught himself off as he threw the phone to one side, you heard him fumbling around for his laptop and you snorted. “shit, baby, don’t tell me i posted it… fuck!” you couldn’t keep it in any longer, you broke out laughing.
“of course this is how the world finds out about us!” you continued giggling until your stomach hurt.
“fuck, princess i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to, i swear i- why are you laughing!?”
“tommy, tommy! it’s okay, baby, don’t worry. i’m not mad,” you stopped once you noticed his pouting. “it’s fine, my love, i don’t mind. sure it’s unexpected, and a little sudden but i wouldn’t have it any other way. i knew what i was getting into when we started dating,” you told him honestly, wishing you were there to give him a hug and kiss him all over.
“darling, i’m really, really sorry. i swear i thought i tapped the green button like you told me to” he continued his sulking, nervous eyes glancing back and forth from his laptop screen to you.
“i know, baby, i know this is not your forte, and i really appreciate the sweet gesture, honestly. i love you so much,” you told him as you bit your lip. folding your legs to your chest, wrapping one around them.
“god, i love you. i swear i’ll make it up to you,” he ran his hand through his hair, giving you a quick peek of his bare chest.
“i’ll hold you to it,” you chuckled, you glanced to the clock on your nightstand, sighing when you saw the time. “i’ve gotta go,” you said as you stood up and stretched. a wicked idea ran through you head. “i’ve got like five meetings today, so i’ll probably be busy most of the day. just in case i don’t reply or something,” you made up you lie quickly. grabbing your laptop and opening a new tab.
“oh, okay. i’ll be on set until like 1 am, so we’ll talk tomorrow?” he asked, eyes bright. you nodded, biting your lip.
“definitely. i love you,” you blew him a kiss. he smiled, and you felt your heart swelling.
“i love you, too. good luck today!” he said as you reluctantly hung up the call.
you immediately got to work, calling your assistant and telling her you were taking a few personal weeks, and to email you in case of emergencies. next, you texted harry, asking him to call you once tom was busy on set.
you waited for the page to load, and once you had bought your one-way ticket to atlanta you hurriedly threw some pre-planned outfits into two suitcases, just in case. your phone rang and harry’s face popped up on your screen. you quickly answered the call, and let him know of your out-of-the-blue plan. he agreed to meet you at the airport and drive you to set. and because of your recent and sudden rise to fame, he suggested you wear all black and a cap. you followed his advice, throwing on some sunglasses as well, as you had seen tom do many times before.
once you reached the airport and checked-in, you bought some coffee and breakfast, as well as some food for the flight. you opened instagram, seeing all the messages and comments. you had seen how the fans reacted when their favorite celebrities announced a relationship, and you knew to expect the meanest comments, and even death threats. for your own sake and peace of mind, you allowed yourself to scroll until you read three of those, and closed the app.
once the plane took off, you tried to catch some sleep, preparing for the inevitable jet lag, but your mind kept buzzing from one scenario to another. so you took out your book and tried to read some chapters, putting in your earbuds, music playing quietly.
when you finally, finally landed, you stretched your legs and grabbed your bags, putting on the cap and sunglasses again, you spotted a familiar head of wild curls. you quickly approached harry.
“what happened to all black and a cap to go unnoticed?” you asked as he took one of your bags in his hands.
“think about it, two kids wearing black, a cap and sunglasses? people would think we’re up to no good.” he gave you a tight hug, you’d missed him almost as much as you’d missed tom.
he caught you up on everything he and tom had been doing these past months, you shifted in your seat in excitement, the sleep that was slowly taking over you on the plane had now disappeared from your body.
in what was probably a 15 -but to you felt like five- minute drive, you got to the hotel to leave your bags and take a quick shower. harry left you alone in tom’s room, making his way to his own room next door. he said he’d order something for you to eat whilst you got ready to see tom.
you took the quickest shower ever known to humankind, and when you walked out of the bathroom after using tom’s shampoo and conditioner, -you’d missed his smell all over you. the few forgotten hoodies and shirts that were once drenched in the smell of his soap and cologne, were now very faint.- you wrapped a bathrobe around your body, rummaging through tom’s clothes until you found one of his shirts.
you pulled it close to your face, sighing at the familiar scent you’d missed so much. you got dressed quickly, grabbing your now fully-charged phone and the key to tom’s room that harry had left on a coffee table. you knocked on harry’s door and he let you in.
“i just texted tom, he says they’ve got like three hours left.” you sat next to him on the couch, the table in front of you filled with food waiting to be devoured.
“my poor baby, they overwork him,” you pouted, reaching for one of the plates.
“it was his idea, said he’ll do anything that helps finish filming sooner.” you stopped chewing your food.
“wait, really?” you asked in disbelief, you knew tom loved his job, and you found it odd that he wanted to cut his time on set short.
“yeah, it’s been rough for him. not having you around, i mean, after he spent months with you. he’s been pretty distracted lately. messing up lines, he’s been waking up late and missing early calls...” your heart sank at the words. you ate the rest of your food with a knot in your stomach, cursing yourself for not getting there sooner. soon enough, you were back in the car, your leg bouncing up and down. you fell asleep on your way to set, waking up when harry parked the car and nudged your shoulder.
you stepped out carefully, your head turning back every few steps you took, in fear that tom might catch you. once you reached the stage where tom was filming, you flashed the visitor badge harry had given you to the guard and he let you both in. you walked in as you leaned down, your forehead against harry’s back, shielding you from the curious stares. harry told you to hide behind a giant box where they kept some lights whilst he spoke to the director.
although the box was big and tall enough to cover you completely, you crouched down, straining your ears for nearing footsteps. you heard two sets of feet approaching, your heartbeat racing.
you were met with your accomplice, a friendly-looking man behind him. you stood up as they approached you.
“this the girl?” the man asked, and harry nodded, “nice to meetcha, i’m jon.” you shook his hand, “okay, so we’ve cleared tom’s schedule for one week, we’ll need him back fully recharged and ready to work like it’s his first day on set, you’re welcome to stay as long as you like, if it means he’ll work better if you’re here you can stay until we're done. i really don’t mind, i just need my guy back.” you blinked at his words, nodding slowly. “we’ve got a couple hours left tonight, i’m all up for some cheesy reunion, but it’ll have to be when we’re finished, i can barely keep him focused as it is.”
with that he left, and harry led you to tom’s trailer, where you caught some sleep while you waited. like that morning, you woke up to your phone buzzing. you reached for it, sleep leaving your body as you read the text.
‘just finished filming for the night, i’m exhausted. miss u, love you. x.’
all rational thoughts left your head, you opened the door to tom’s trailer and sprinted out of there until you reached the set. your eyes finally, finally met his figure, and tears filled your eyes.
your legs moved on their own accord, you mumbled apologies as you crashed into people, but you didn’t care. tom had his back to you, and even though he wasn’t wearing the spiderman costume, you’d recognize that ass anywhere.
“tom!” you called out, stopping a few feet away from him. you saw him whipping his head around, eyes scanning the sea of people. you made your way up to him, “tommy!” you repeated, and he finally turned around.
his mouth wide opened in disbelief, arms twitching, feet running towards you as you did the same. you crashed into each other, your legs wrapping around him, arms around his neck, fingers curling on his soft hair. his hands running all over your back, your hair. pulling you as close as humanly possible.
whispers of ‘i love you’, ‘god, i missed you’, ‘never leave me again’, and ‘i promise’ were exchanged. you tightened your hold on his hair, pulling back to look at him.
“hi,” you whispered, your nose brushing his.
“hey,” he replied, burying his face on your neck again, pressing small kisses anywhere he could reach. his hands settled on the back of your thighs as he spun you two. you giggled, sniffling as a few tears escaped your eyes.
you could not care less about the people around you, all you could think about was the boy wrapped all over you, your favorite boy. tom led you back to his trailer, where you finally untangled yourself from him. he settled you down and you immediately wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him close to you again.
you had been starved of his touch for so long, there was no way you were letting him go anytime soon.
after many kisses, touches, tears, promises and more kisses, you left for the hotel. harry had already left, getting a ride from another cast member to leave you two alone. at that moment you swore you’d make him godfather of your firstborn child.
as you waited for tom to step out of the shower -you would’ve joined him, but three showers in a day seemed kind of excessive-, you laid down on the bed, throwing the covers over your body, tom's scent engulfing you. you breathed in happily. you tapped on your phone, replying to some work emails when you received a text from harry.
‘i believe the ball is in your court. you’re welcome.’
next, you received a picture of you and tom. harry must’ve taken the picture when you and tom were too lost in each other to even notice anyone around you. in the picture, your legs are around tom, bodies pressed closed together, your noses touching as you stare lovingly into each other’s eyes. it was a beautiful picture. and the black and white filter harry had applied to it made it seem like one of those old pictures of wives reuniting with their spouses after the war.
you smiled, heart swelling with emotion as you contemplated your options. you hummed quietly, tapping the instagram logo and waiting for the app to load.
you quickly uploaded the picture harry sent you tagging both him and tom and adding a quick caption before you shut down your phone. you were drifting off to sleep when you felt familiar arms around you.
you leaned into tom’s touch, your back resting against his chest, legs tangling with his as he interlocked his fingers with your own.
“thank you so much for being here, my love. i love you,” tom whispered into your ear, pressing a kiss to your cheek.
“i’ll be here whenever you need me. i’ll always come back to you.” you turned around, facing him. you kissed the corner of his lips, and he cupped your cheek, his lips meeting yours in a slow kiss, filled with emotion. your fingers played with his fingers as you moved to straddle his waist. “i love you,” you broke the kiss reluctantly. as much as you both wanted to make love that night, you’d made it your top priority that tom took his time off to rest as much as he could, and that included that first night.
you gave him one last kiss, going back to your previous position. the familiar and comfortable weight of his arms around you, the feeling of his lips on your neck, his chest rising and falling against your back, you couldn’t ask for anything better.
the peaceful environment you had created suddenly burst like a bubble as tom’s phone pinged over and over again. you heard him grunting, arms reluctantly leaving you.
tom chuckled, putting his phone on do-not-disturb and throwing it somewhere on the bed.
“you’re perfect for me, my favorite girl.” you smiled, leaning into his touch as he kissed you all over. sleep quickly taking over both of you.
tom swore his heart stopped when he’d seen the picture you posted. you’d never looked more beautiful than when you were staring up at him, your bottom lip between your teeth. the words you wrote as a caption were the last thing on his brain as he finally succumbed to sleep.
‘i said, “i bet you can’t keep this a secret for five months.” he said, “darling, i won’t make it past three.” @ tomholland2013 it’s been 10 months, who won?’
edit: i just saw henry cavill's ig post and omg what is my life. pls respect celebrities' privacy and relationships.
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cutestkilla · 2 years ago
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Happy WIP Wednesday and thank you for the tags @martsonmars @facewithoutheart @forabeatofadrum @confused-bi-queer. Your WIPs are all amazing and I can't wait to read them when they post.
I haven’t written anything new, though I’m deep into an outline for an 8th year canon divergence fic that begins at the wedding where Premal’s friend Sam got into it with one of the Grimm cousins. Spoiler alert: Simon and Baz were there in my version.
Instead I thought I might offer a few deleted/alternate versions of scenes from What’s Left (which is finally done, I posted the epilogue on Sunday). Under the cut, because it’s very long!
Tags for folks I know have read/started reading What’s Left (because I’m not sure who else would actually be interested in reading this at this point): @creepyspice @captain-aralias @bookish-bogwitch @fatalfangirl @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @gekkoinapeartree @technetiumai @artsyunderstudy @im-gettingby @ivelovedhimthroughworse @yellobb @mrskrementz @angelsfalling16. And also tags for anyone else who sees this because I love to see your WIPs!
From Chapter 8 in the Mage’s storage locker. I had this bit in Sid’s POV before I decided that Sid was actually going to be the competent one in that scene instructing Baz on how to search the place without causing the cursed furniture to attack them:
“I’ll just sit here,” I say, lowering myself into a comfortable looking wingback chair, just as Baz screams “Nooooooo!” from his corner of the cramped space. I feel myself sinking into it. It’s deeper and softer than I expected and I close my eyes, lulled by a deep sense of comfort until I feel myself being yanked forcibly to my feet, a jolt of pain running through my shoulder.
“Damn Baz, what the fuck?” I cry. 
“I should be asking you that? I told you not to touch anything, and next thing I see you getting yourself eaten by a cursed armchair!”
“I mean, I didn’t touch it, I sat in it.”
“That’s touching it, Sid. With your arse. Your arse counts.”
Something about Baz talking about my arse makes me blush, though I don’t exactly know why.
“I probably should have left you in there,” he goes on. “To keep you out of the way while I search this place.”
He casts Be Our Guest on the wingback. “This should stop it from attacking you again.”
“Beauty and the Beast,” I mouth at him.
He rolls his eyes.
From Chapter 8 on the car ride to Essex, I had this whole long sequence in Baz’s POV of them talking about what happened with Phillipa and the tape recorder in fifth year. But, I had already covered this ground earlier in the chapter to some extent, so I dropped it.
What made it in to the chapter was only the first line of this snippet:
“Why don’t you tell me about something terrible I did to you last night in your dreams?” I venture, trying to move the conversation into more familiar territory. 
I regret it immediately.
“Well, I did dream about the day you stole Phillipa’s voice…” he says. I wince.
“Right. Of course”
“That was pretty stupid, Baz. Simon was able to do magic without his voice anyway, you saw him do it all the time. Seems pointless.”
“Fiona,” is my only response to that.
“But Baz, why did you do it?”
“I just told you. Fiona.”
“No, I mean, why did you do it?” He pauses, considering, before quietly continuing. “You loved him by then, didn’t you?”
If they could get any paler, my knuckles would be white, I grip the steering wheel so hard. “So talking about my diary is back to being fair game again, is it?”
“Sorry. It’s - I think it might help me understand the things I see and feel in the dreams if you could explain.”
“No, it’s okay. I just…” How do I even explain this? “I hated the sight of him. I hated what he did to me.”
“Hmmm,” Sid hums. “It didn’t always look like you hated him. He watched you, Baz, all the time. He liked looking at you -” 
“I know.”
“- and there are… these moments I remember where you clearly don’t hate him.”
“Yes, well. You know. I was… conflicted. Tortured, some might say.”
“I think you said that, actually. In your journal.” 
I glance over and see that he’s looked up from his lap, and is gazing at me with intense curiosity. He looks quickly down again, blushing. I can’t help but think he looks lovely, though I immediately chastise myself for even letting myself know it. It doesn’t help to know it.
“Anyway,” he finally says. “The whole reason I brought it up was to tell you that Simon saw it. I think he decided not to know it, probably because you had already soundly rejected him, but he saw it, for what it’s worth.” He keeps going, like he can’t stop himself. “I mean, I’m not saying I really know what he felt, there are so many new… feelings in those dreams, like, even just hormonal stuff I guess, that comes with being a teenager, and it’s all so intense, and I’m still trying to make sense of it myself, and…” he trails off and stares out the window.
Now I can feel my cheeks trying to colour. Only the fact that I haven’t fed since last night is saving me from it. This is horribly awkward for too many reasons to count.
Just a dream, Basil. Just an illusion. Try not to - No. Scratch that. Do. Not. Think about it.
And, from Chapter 12, I rewrote the way Baz admits to Sid that he loves him MANY MANY times before settling on the version that appears in the story where it happens at the, ahem, climax of the chapter. Here is a different version of that, picking up in a Sid POV right after this line that WAS in the chapter (where he has admitted that he aged himself up in part to gain Simon’s memories of him and Baz getting together on Christmas Eve):
“I just want you to understand,” I continue in a low voice. “Can’t you see? How we’re the same? You were ready to die, that night in the forest, and not to save anyone either. Just because you were sad. Because it was all hopeless, and you thought Simon could never love you.”
But instead of leading right into the love scene, when Baz kisses him, there was a bit more drama. I dropped all of this because it slowed things down and I couldn’t figure out a good way to get them back to making out from here:    
“No Sid,” he says and his voice is little more than a whisper. His lips are so close to mine, too close, I can feel them moving against my cheek. “I do understand. I do. You are the one who doesn’t understand.”
And then he forces his lips violently against mine. Without thinking about it, I open my mouth to let him in. This kiss is nothing like the one we shared earlier. All teeth and tongue. 
He lets go of my shoulders and puts both of his hands on my face, and he kisses me so hard my chin hurts. He presses his entire body against mine. And for a minute, I let him. I rub his stomach the way I know he likes now, I slide my fingers under the hem of his shirt.
I let myself take what I want, and I give it all back to him tenfold. Everything I feel for him, everything Simon felt for him, how angry I am at the Mage for what he’s done, how angry I am at the world for how everything’s turned out. How angry I am that I’m going to die and nobody but Baz and Penny will ever really know I existed.
But I know what he’s doing. And this time when I come up for air, it’s me that pushes him away. He lets me, and takes a step back. His eyes are wild, his hair is a mess from the way I was fisting my hand in it.
“What are you - ” he sputters, lips still slightly pink from where I was sucking on them. “I thought you said - ”
“Come off it, Baz!” I realise I’m screaming in his face. There are tears running down my cheeks. 
He looks stricken, like I’ve just slapped him, and takes another step backward until his back hits the opposite wall and he slides down it.
“You don’t have to do this!”
BAZ
Sid is still standing across the room from me. He’s flushed, either from anger or from our kiss, or maybe from anger about our kiss, and his face is streaked with tears. He’s accusing me of something, but I don’t know what. I’m angry too, so angry at him, but I thought maybe kissing him might help fix things. Might help him understand so that we can move on to figuring out a way out of this. A way to move forward.
“Do what? Kiss you? I wanted to! I thought you would want me to. You just said - ”
“Pretend!” he shouts at me. “I don’t want your pity,” he finishes quietly.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” 
“You don’t need to pretend you want me, Baz, just to convince me to let you help. I will. If we get out of this cell in time, I’ll let you spell me back into my eleven-year-old body and you and Penny can try and figure out how to get me out of this. I promise. I’ll do it for you, because I don’t want you to hurt. You don’t have to pretend to feel something you don’t.”
He takes a seat on the floor, mirroring my pose against the opposite wall, one leg out in front, one knee up with his arm around it.
“But I told you, Sid. I told you how I found you.” “How you - ” He looks up at me sharply. “You mean the finding spell? For someone you love? You were looking for me? You love me?”
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electricbarnes · 4 years ago
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tell me you still see me
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steve rogers x reader
summary: steve has been working a lot lately. you begin to have doubts about your relationship.
↳ songs i listened to for inspiration 
wc: 5.9k | warnings: some angst, overthinking, self-doubt, implied smut 
note: this is a repost from my old account that was deleted. so if it’s familiar, that’s why! i wasn’t planning on reposting but i read it over and decided why not. i have another steve fic that i’m almost done with, so i wanted to post this in the meantime. i made a few minor edits. i hope you like it! and if you decide to reread it, thank you x1000 !!
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You arrive at your apartment, hands filled with groceries for the week. You struggle to open the door with the many bags on your arms, but eventually make it inside. You kick off your heels and set the bags down on the kitchen counter. After freeing your hands, you reach into your purse to find your phone. You unlock it and tap on the first name at the top of your recent calls.
The phone rings for a bit before you hear the sound of your boyfriend’s voice saying “Hello”.
“Oh my god Steve, you’re never gonna believe what I saw at the store just now,” you say, thinking of the wild thing you witnessed during your shopping trip. It’s not everyday that you see someone throw themselves into a cereal box display. It was a hilarious sight and you just wanted to tell someone about it.
“So, I was just strolling through the isles looking for some snacks when a-” you’re cut off before getting too into the story.
“Honey, can this wait? I’m about to go into a mission briefing,” Steve says in a hushed tone. Immediately, you feel guilty for interrupting him while he’s busy. It was well into the evening and you had assumed he wouldn’t be working.  
“Oh, uh yeah of course! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt anything,” you apologize.
“That’s okay,” he reassures you, “I’ll call you later.”
“Okay, talk to you later then.”
The phone beeps, indicating the call was over. You sigh and go back to the task of putting your groceries away.
You decide to lounge around the rest of the day, trading your work clothes for some comfy sweats and a tee shirt. You spend the night mindlessly scrolling through social media while reruns of some sitcom play on the tv. You even send Steve a few memes here and there. You’re not really sure if he’ll understand them but they reminded you of him.
After eating a late dinner, you channel surf for a bit before putting on a random movie. When the movie finishes, it’s nearly 11pm and you realize that Steve hasn’t called you back. You pick up your phone, tempted to call him but decide it’s better to wait till tomorrow. He hasn’t replied to your texts, so there’s a chance he’s still busy despite the late hour.
Unfortunately for you, being a superhero is a full time job, which means that Steve can be busy at any moment of any day. You knew this going into a relationship with thee Captain America. To be fair though, you didn’t think you’d actually get to know the super soldier like you do now.  
When you met Steve, he was just some handsome guy at the park who helped you with directions when you were visibly lost. You ended up seeing him at the park again a couple days later. Recognizing you, he stopped and asked if you wanted to get a coffee. Who were you to deny this man?
You spent two hours in a café getting to know each other before exchanging numbers. In hindsight, his vague answers about his career were a little suspicious. It wasn’t until you went home that night and saw a picture of Steve in a tweet captioned “idc that captain america is like 100 yrs old, he can still get it 😍”.
Needless to say, you were shocked. While you were feeling dumb for not recognizing him sooner, you also wondered why he didn’t say anything. After an awkward confrontation about the subject, he explained how he didn’t want you to go out with him just because he was Captain America. You were quick to ease his worries and reassure him that you were interested in Steve for Steve, not for his heroic persona.
Since then, your relationship with Steve has been nothing but amazing. He was always so sweet with you, taking you on simple but romantic dates. There was something about that 40s charm that was so endearing. You loved the small things, like how he would always open the door for you or how he would bring you flowers on each date. It was so easy to talk to him about anything and everything. You felt like he was not only your boyfriend, but also your best friend.
There were times where you wondered why he ever picked you, an average person compared to the super people he’d work with everyday. He could’ve had anyone he wanted. Steve would say that you were like his sanctuary from the hectic world of being an Avenger. It meant a lot to you that you could be that person for him. You thought he deserved some peace after everything he’s been through. He wanted to protect you from the evil that inherently came with the job, which you understood, so he rarely spoke about the missions he’d go on. The less you knew the better. Though sometimes, you would wish he’d open up more about what was going on while he was away. Especially since he would be gone for days on end.
It was only a month into your relationship that you realized how hard it’d be when he would leave to be Captain America. It was his first time leaving for a mission that lasted longer than a day. He had to spend a week in some place on the other side of the world with no way of contacting him. Of course, you were worried the entire time he was gone. Despite trying to distract yourself with work and personal tasks, Steve was always at the forefront of your mind.
You had never felt such relief than the day he called you after a whole week of silence. Steve had even asked you shyly if he could come over that night. You felt butterflies in your stomach when he told you that he needed to see you. It was the first time he had spent the night at your place. Having Steve’s arms wrapped around you the entire night just felt right. You knew as early as then that you loved him.
Over the year that you had been together, those long missions became easier to manage. You’d always trust that he’d come back to you in one piece. Steve would sometimes feel guilty about being away for so long that he’d try to make it up to you by taking you on an extraordinary date. But you always assured him that you were happy to just be with him, even if it was just something like the two of you watching a movie at your place.
Lately, Steve has been more distant with you. You’ve chalked it up to the fact that there’s a literal distance between you two since he’s moved upstate to the newly built Avengers compound. Before, he was just a short drive away from the Avengers tower to your apartment. Now, he’s hours away from you. There were discussions of you moving in with him, but your job was in the city and you couldn’t leave that behind.
You both decided to make the best of the situation, calling and texting whenever possible. FaceTiming was the usual occurrence throughout the week, often before bed. You’d tell him about your day in the office and he’d tell you about the new recruits he would train. On the weekends, he’d stay over at your place. It was rare that you’d stay at the compound. Steve said he’d preferred your apartment, claiming it was homier than the compound. Plus, you’d actually have some privacy.
For a long time, it had been a good system. You love Steve and did anything to make the relationship work because he’s worth it. Yet, you couldn’t help the lonely nights where you wondered if he felt the same.
Calls were less frequent. Texts were unanswered. Weekend plans were cancelled because Steve would be assigned to missions during those days. You’d understand, of course. He’s out there saving people! You can’t fault him for that, but it doesn’t stop you from missing him.
Now, it had been almost two weeks since you’d last seen him in person. You had texted him throughout the day, but texting wasn’t his favorite thing. Texts were usually reserved for quick check-ins and reminders of I love you’s. He preferred calling and you did too, hearing his voice was much better.
After learning that he had been back from a short mission, you texted him.
You: FaceTime later? ☺️
You were eager to see him, even if it was through a screen. You were just hoping he had the time.
Steve ♡: Sure.
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Later that night, you sat on your bed with your laptop, opening up FaceTime. After a few rings, Steve’s face appears on the screen. A smile immediately breaks out on your face.
“Hi babe!” you say cheerily, finally getting to see your boyfriend after what felt like forever.
“Hi honey,” he says with a soft smile.
Your smile dims a bit, eyebrows furrowing when you recognize the background. “Are you still in your office?” It was pretty late and you assumed he’d be in bed by now.
“Yeah, I was finishing up on some mission reports,” he explains, shuffling some papers on his desk.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you’d be done by now,” you apologize, recalling the last time you had interrupted him from his work.
“No, no” he waves his hand, “I thought I’d be done by now too, but it’s a lot more than I expected.”
You frown at the thought of your boyfriend overworking himself. You want to ask him about it, but you know he’ll say what he always does when you ask about his missions: It’s classified.
“You’re not stressing yourself out too much, are you Steve?” you ask, concern evident in your voice. Even through the hazy quality of the webcam, you can see the tired look in his eyes.
“Never,” he says with a smirk.
“Somehow, I don’t believe you,” you say with a teasing tone.
“You’ve got nothing to worry about honey,” he reassures you. “Besides, I wanna know what you’ve been up to.”
You scoff, “well, it’s definitely not nearly exciting as your week must’ve been.”
“I still wanna know,” he says with that boyish grin you love.
Steve always knew how to make those butterflies appear. You end up telling him about the incident you witnessed at the store which makes him laugh as he imagines the odd sight. He tells you about a prank Tony pulled on him and Sam and you beg him to send you the recording of it. He refuses, but you know you’ll get your hands on the footage eventually. Things felt normal again, just talking to him.
“So I was mixing the dough and halfway through I realized I completely forgot about the eggs,” you were in the middle of telling him about the new recipe you ended up ruining earlier this week.
Steve hums in response. You notice him looking to the side, not looking at the screen and you hear the sound of typing.
“and then a blue monster broke into my apartment,” you make up in an attempt to get his attention.
“Mhmm”
“and he stole all the cookies,” you continue.
“Hmm”
“Steve,”
Silence.
“Steve,” you say with a little more force.
“Huh?” he finally looks up at the screen.
“You’re not listening to me,” disappointment laces your voice.
“I was,” he quickly defends but you don’t buy it.
“Uh huh,” you cross your arms and lean back against your headboard. “What was I talking about?”
Steve glances elsewhere, not meeting your eyes when he mumbles “something about a party?”
You resist the urge to roll your eyes. “yeah, like 10 minutes ago.”
“I’m sorry honey, I was listening, really… but these reports need to be done,” he says with an apologetic look on his face.
You couldn’t stay mad at him, but you did feel hurt that he would pretend to listen rather than just telling you something.
“Okay,” you sigh. “I’ll let you get back to work.”
He must notice the disappointment on your face because he apologizes once more.
“I’ll make it up to you honey,” he promises.
“Are you coming this weekend?” you ask hopefully. He couldn’t come last weekend and you were missing him terribly.
“Of course,” he gives you a tired smile that you return.
“Okay, finish those reports and get some sleep,” you instruct, emphasizing the last part.
“Yes ma’am,” he raises his hand, mock saluting you which makes you giggle.
“Goodnight Stevie, I love you,”
“Love you too sweetheart”
The call ends and you go to bed with a smile on your face.
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The rest of the week goes by quickly. You’re excited to get to the weekend because that means you can finally see your boyfriend, in person! Not just behind some screen. It’s been almost three weeks since the last time he came over and you miss his touch.
It was Friday afternoon and you were sitting at a small table in the cafe you frequent, taking a lunch break. Halfway through your break, you got a call from Steve. You were a little surprised to see his picture pop up on your phone since you’re usually the one to call him. Nevertheless, you smiled and answered “Hi babe.”
“Hey honey,” he greets.
“I’m glad you called, I was thinking of picking up a few things from the store after work today. Do you need anything?”
“Uh… about that,” he says in a low voice. Your heart immediately sinks, already knowing what he’s going to say next.
“You’re not coming.” A statement, not a question.
“I’m sorry honey. A mission came up and we leave tonight,” he explains and you almost want to laugh. Of course he’s leaving again.
“How long?” you ask. Maybe it’s just for a day and he can still come on Saturday or even Sunday.
“Two days… maybe three,”
You take a moment to process his words. Part of you saw this coming. It seemed too good to be true that you’d finally have him all to yourself. You glance up, trying to fight the sudden feeling of tears in your eyes. You didn’t want to cry in the middle of a busy café.
“There’s… there isn’t a chance you can skip this one?” you hesitantly ask. Normally, you’d just accept it, but your patience was running thin. This is the second time in a row he’s cancelled on you.
“You know I can’t. This is important,” he says it so sternly, like he doesn’t realize he’s breaking your heart. The missions are always important. More important than you.
“Yeah, but you’ve been working nonstop. I mean, don’t you want a break? Aren’t there others who can go instead?” you argue, voice raising.
“Y/N, I’m going. I have to,” he insists, leaving no room for an argument. You knew how stubborn Steve could be, so you knew he wasn’t going to change his mind on this. Rationally, you knew he probably had no choice in the matter but you took a chance anyways.
“Okay,” you relent.
You can hear Steve sigh before saying, “I’ll make it up to you.”
He’s been saying that a lot lately, but you know they’re empty promises.
“Okay.”
“I love you,” he says much softer than his previous tone.
“Love you too,” you say back, but your heart hurts.
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Before you met Steve, sleeping alone wasn’t so bad. Some nights you would be on your phone, scrolling through social media till you eventually got sleepy. Other times, you’d lie in bed staring at the ceiling thinking about your day and mentally planning the next. Too often you found yourself overthinking about something you did, something you wish you could change. Or you would be anxious about something coming up, running through different scenarios of how it’d go. For some reason, your mind wouldn’t let you succumb to the sleep that your body desperately needed. But you were used to it.
Then Steve came along and he’d be there to ease your mind. On the nights he would stay over, sleep came much easier. There would still be nights where your mind kept you awake, but Steve would be lying right next to you. You’d be on his chest, his hand soothingly rubbing your back as you told him about that meeting you were nervous about or how you got in trouble by your boss for a simple mistake. Steve would assure that everything would be okay and you found it easy to believe him.
He always knew when you needed a distraction from your worries, bringing up mundane things like last night’s baseball game or telling you about the modern music he actually started to like. Sometimes, he’d tell you a story from his life in the 40s. Stories like how his friend Bucky would drag him all over town, trying to find a date for the evening. Or about that time he had to star in an action movie when he just started out as Captain America (which you made a mental note to find later on Youtube). You loved hearing about Steve’s old life, curious about what made him into the man you love today.
Sometimes he’d just entertain your wild thoughts, especially when you’re half asleep. Conversations like how different life would be if dinosaurs never went extinct or if flat earth conspiracists were right. You’d be lying with your back to his chest, his arms wrapped around your waist while you mumbled any thoughts that came to mind. He’d listen till he heard your soft snores and he’d give you a gentle kiss on your head before he’d fall asleep too.
Then there would be nights where words would rarely be spoken. A night of soft moans as he took care of your body in ways only he knew how. He’d whisper praises, drawing out moans from you as he hit all the right spots. It was always different and exciting. You never knew what to expect, but he would always be so loving. You’d always stay close, basking in the afterglow.  
After having the comfort of Steve in the night, the times he’s not there feel a lot lonelier than before.
Like now, you’ve got your eyes closed but you’re not sleeping. Your thoughts seem louder than ever and they’re all about Steve. It probably doesn’t help that you decided to wear one of his tee shirts to bed, the faint smell of him making you miss him even more. After he cancelled on you (again) this past weekend, you started to wonder if he even wanted to see you at all.
You want to be mad at him, but how can you be? He’s Captain America! He has a responsibility that he can’t ignore, not even for his girlfriend. Lately, you can’t help but be worried at how many missions he’s been going on. To make matters worse, you’re left in the dark about all of it. He says it’s safer if you don’t know. You just have to trust him and trust that he needs to go.  
But what if he doesn’t actually need to? What if he wants to go so he doesn’t have to see you. Okay, that’s extreme, but it’s a possibility? It seems like he doesn’t even want to talk to you at all sometimes. You’re always the one texting and calling. It’s never really him unless it’s to let you down (again). Maybe you’re just being needy. Were you asking for too much? Are you overreacting? Probably. But it’s normal to be upset about not seeing your boyfriend for weeks, right?
You shake your head, trying to get rid of these thoughts. You pick up your phone from the nightstand. The clock reads 3:12am. You unlock your phone and open your messages to see the last few texts Steve sent.
Steve ♡: I’m sorry.
You: just be safe
             —
Steve ♡: I’m back.
You: okay
Your thumb hovers over the call button for a good bit, contemplating if you want to bother him so late at night. Before you can overthink it, you hit the button. You turn to lay on your side with the phone against your ear, anxiously waiting for the ringing to stop.
“Hello,” Steve answers, voice deep and filled with sleep. You feel guilty for waking him up, but at the same time feel relief at the sound of his voice.
“Hi,” you say shyly. Honestly, you weren’t expecting him to actually pick up. You were prepared to just leave a voicemail.
“Is something wrong?” he mumbles.
“No, no. There’s nothing wrong… I just…” you can feel the heat rising in your face, suddenly embarrassed for some reason. “I just miss you,” you say quietly, not even sure if he’s heard you.
You can hear the shuffling of sheets.
“I miss you too sweetheart,” he says and it warms your heart for a moment, “and as much as I wanna talk right now, I have to be up in a couple hours for a mission.”
“Oh,” the small smile you had on your face quickly disappears. You had no idea he was leaving again even though he just got back the day before.
“I’ll call you tomorrow, okay hon?” he says tiredly.
You feel a lump in your throat forming but you push past it, “yeah… yeah, of course.”
“Love you,”
“Love you too,” you practically whisper.
The phone call ends and the tears start to slide down your face. You didn’t have the energy to fight them anymore.
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The last call you had with Steve a few days ago left you torn between logic and your emotions. You knew he was just tired, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that something had changed between you two. In the past, he never seemed to mind talking to you, even in the odd hours of the morning. You always believed that you guys were so in sync. It seemed like he knew when you needed comfort and would be there to provide it.
You would be able to tell when something was off with Steve and though you would always offer to talk about it, he would brush it off. Thinking back to it, maybe he never really opened up to you for a reason.
You began to question if you are more invested in this relationship than he is. It feels wrong to even think so, considering how sweet and caring he is, especially with you. But everyone has their limits, right? Maybe he’s just gotten tired of you. It’s clear that work is his number one priority right now, maybe he doesn’t have time for a girlfriend anymore. He always makes promises of making it up to you another time, but maybe there will never be another time.
The thought of him leaving completely sends a pang of hurt to your heart.
You: can we talk?
You had sent Steve that text what felt like forever ago, but in reality has only been 20 minutes. You had spent that time repeating in your head what you were going to tell him while you paced back and forth around your living room. You were going to ask for a break. You didn’t want to break up with him completely, no, but you thought that this would be better in the long run. You’re hoping a break will give him the space he needs and then you guys can go back to the way you were. You figured it was better to let him focus on being a hero. You didn’t want to become the clingy girlfriend that he’d eventually resent.
You had no idea how he would react. Maybe he would agree. It’ll be tough, but every couple goes through something like this, right? Sure, it’s a special circumstance with you dating an Avenger, but other people have busy partners. You wonder how they manage a relationship when they don’t see each other so often. Maybe you were giving up too easily? But you’re tired of feeling pushed aside, like you aren’t his priority when he’s at the top of your list. You’re tired of feeling guilty for being upset when he can’t come see you. You’re just tired of feeling like you’re losing him.
Just as you start to doubt your whole plan, your ringtone breaks the silence. You pick up your phone with a shaky hand and tap on the answer button.
“Hello,” you say, hoping he doesn’t notice the nervous tone of your voice.
“Hey honey, you wanted to talk?”
“Uh, yeah…” you reply, already struggling to keep your voice even.
“Is everything alright?” he’s concerned and you can imagine the look on his face.
“Yeah…yeah,” you lie, “I uh… I just wanted to talk… about us.”
“Listen honey, I’m sorry about last week but it was really-“ he begins to apologize, but you shake your head, not wanting to hear another excuse.
“It’s more than that Steve,” you interrupt.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean…” you hesitate, trying to gather your thoughts. “Do you realize it’s almost been a month since we’ve last seen each other?”
There’s a pause before he answers, “…I didn’t know it had been so long.”
“Do you even care?” you ask, voice giving in to the mix of anger and sadness you feel. The tears begin to well up in your eyes.
“Of course I care, you know I do” he defends.
“Do I though?” you question. The rehearsed words you mentally prepared are long gone. “…I’ve been sitting here thinking of what I’m doing wrong because I feel like something’s changed between us.”
“What are you talking about?” he sounds genuinely confused, “Nothing’s changed.”
“Steve… we don’t talk like we used to, I barely get to see you. I miss you all the time.”
“I know I’ve been working a lot lately,“ he acknowledges.
“And I don’t blame you for that,” you clarify.
“I know how important your job is, but… but I’m feeling a little left out here,” your voice cracks at the end. You wipe the few tears that started to fall down your face. “I mean, I feel like I barely know that part of your life. You’re gone most of the time and you never talk to me about it.”
“I can’t, for your safety. We’ve discussed that.”
“Yeah and I thought I could handle it, but you’re giving me nothing here,” you argue. “I wanna be there for you Steve, but it’s hard when you don’t tell me what’s going on.”
“I... I can’t. I want to but it’s better if you don’t know,” he says pleadingly. You want to believe him, but you just can’t seem to let this go.
The silence lingers over the phone.
“Maybe we should take a break,” you eventually say with defeat.
“A break?”
“Maybe we just need some time to sort things out. You can focus on your work and when things get better… we can try again.”
“No, no…” he starts to argue, “that’s not fair.”
“Steve, please…” you beg, “just try to see where I’m coming from. I still love you, I always will. I just think we need this.”
He doesn’t say a word, making you anxious.
“Steve-”
You’re cut off by the phone hanging up. You sit in disbelief, letting the weight of the conversation fall on you.
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You spent the rest of the night just curled up on the couch. You keep questioning your decision. In your mind, this was the right thing to do, despite the heartbreak you knew you’d be feeling. But you didn’t think it would hurt as much as it does now.
Steve’s reaction made you rethink the idea of a break. You worry that he thinks you don’t love him anymore when it’s the complete opposite. You did this because you love him. You didn’t want to lose him completely, but it looks like you lost him anyways. Maybe, deep down, a part of you was trying to save yourself from the inevitable heartbreak.
The living room was dark, the only light coming from the street lights outside. The tears have stopped flowing, but the headache lingers. It’s almost 2 in the morning and despite being worn out from crying, you have trouble sleeping. You’re about to get up for a glass of water when you hear a knock on your door.
Your first reaction is to panic, because you weren’t expecting anyone at such a late hour. You mentally run through the self defense moves Steve insisted on teaching you. Slowly, you approach the door, trying to not make any noise.
Knock knock knock.
“It’s me.”
It’s softly spoken, but you hear him loud and clear. You quickly open the door to reveal Steve with a look of sorrow on his face. You can’t help but stare at him in shock, taking in his disheveled appearance.
“I don’t want a break,” he says hoarsely, breaking you out of your trace.
You all but pounce toward him and wrap your arms around his neck. He immediately wraps his arms tightly around your waist. You bury your face in his neck, inhaling the familiar scent that reminds you of home. Despite everything that happened over the phone, you feel a flood of relief from finally being in his arms.
You stood in his embrace, relishing the feeling of him being there for a good minute before you pulled away. You meet his eyes, noticing the tears surrounding them and it hurts your heart.
“We should talk,” you say, voice rough from the crying just hours ago.
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You’re sitting side by side on your couch. You look at him and can’t believe that he drove all the way to your place in the middle of the night. You can see the worry on his face and you want nothing more than to comfort him, but you hold back because you want an explanation first.
“So..” you start off, “you don’t want a break?”
“Y/N, I know I’ve messed up, but please don’t give up on us,” he says with pleading eyes.
“I don’t want to. I thought that’s what you would’ve wanted. I thought…” you shy away from his stare, “maybe you didn’t want me anymore.”
Steve looks at you with guilt, realizing for the first time how much he’s hurt you, “I’m sorry… I know I’ve been saying that a lot lately but I never wanted you to feel like I didn’t want to be with you.”
“Then what's been going on?” you ask, looking back at him, determined to know why it took you asking for a break to get him here.
Steve looks down at his hands, visibly nervous. Why? You have no idea.
“Talk to me Steve,” you encourage him. “Please.”
He turns to look at you, taking a breath before saying “I’ve been looking for Bucky.”
You’re immediately confused. Out of all the things you thought of him saying, this was never one of them.
“Bucky? Bucky Barnes?” you question. You knew of his friend from the stories he would tell you. Bucky was practically a brother to Steve.
“Yes,” he says easily, but it just makes you more confused. The thought of Steve going crazy briefly crosses your mind.
“He’s the Winter Soldier,” he explains. You recognize that name from the news. He was a part of the incident that happened in DC.
“What? H-How would that even be possible?” you question, not really being able to wrap your head around it. From what you knew, Bucky died in war back in the 40s.
“HYDRA was using him. They found him after he fell from the train and they brainwashed him for decades until I was able to snap him out of it when we fought in DC,” Steve continues, “After he saved my life, he disappeared.”
The pain in his voice is evident as he talks about his friend. You scoot closer to him and you take his hand into yours, offering him comfort.
“Sam and I have been following any lead we could to find him,” he explains, “I’ve been doing that along with all the other missions I get sent on. That’s why I’ve been gone so much.”  
It finally makes sense to you.
“Oh Steve,” you say, “I wish you would’ve told me this sooner.”
“I know honey, I should have…” he squeezes your hand, which you reciprocate.
“HYDRA is evil. I’ve seen how cruel they can be,” he continues. “The thought of them coming anywhere near you kills me,” his voice filled with emotion and his eyes gloss over with tears. “Sometimes it’s hard for me to get out of that headspace…”
He looks away from you, head down, “you shouldn’t have to deal with that.”
You reach over with your free hand to touch his face. “Steve,” you turn his head to look at you. His blue eyes shine even in the dim lighting. “Please don’t shut me out. I want to know these things. You don’t have to tell me everything, but I just want to be there for you. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone.”
Your eyes beg him to understand you. “And I get it now. Bucky is your friend and I know you’ll find him again someday. Just don’t put all that stress on yourself,” your thumb wipes away a stray tear falling down his face. “I want to help you in any way I can. You can always come back to me.”
He subtly nods and looks at you, faces only a breath apart. “I don’t deserve you,” he says quietly, like he’s in disbelief.
He closes the distance, lips finally meeting yours. Your eyes flutter shut, as you continue to cradle his face in your palms. You focus on conveying all your love for him into the kiss. You pull away briefly to move on to his lap as he leans back into the couch. His hands naturally fall on your hips as you get impossibly close.
You break the kiss again, “Promise not to leave me again,” you plead, but your tone is much lighter this time. You never wanted to leave his arms again.
He looks up at you, eyebrows furrowing a bit, “I can’t promise that,” you give him a sad smile, already knowing that. His hand leaves your hip to push a stray hair behind your ear, “but I can promise that I will talk to you more and show you how much you mean to me more often. ”
You genuinely smile at that.
“This is important to me,” he says, pulling you closer, emphasizing his words, “you’re important to me.”
“I love you”
“I love you too,”
You lean back in to kiss him again, smiling in between because you’re happy to have your Steve back. And you know things will get better from here. There’s still going to be some tough nights when you miss him and he can’t be there, but you know he’ll be missing you just as much. You won’t have to doubt his love for you again.
You pull away once more, “Remember how you said, you’d make it up to me?” you question with a mischievous look in your eye.
“Yeah,” he says looking at you expectantly.
You simply raise your eyebrows and smirk at him. He catches on and mouths an “oh”.
You’re lifted from the couch so you latch onto Steve’s shoulders, giggling loudly at the sudden movement. He carries you into your bedroom, where he definitely made up for lost time.
You slept much easier that night.
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dracarys-wp-writes · 4 years ago
Text
Moments
Title: Moments Requested by: @hacker-ghost
Request: 5 times Corpse almost kissed the reader and one time he actually did. Where corpse and reader are like bff roommates, oblivious to how much the act like a couple even though everyone tells them that. (additionally I'd love to end it with something like it turns out that Jack Felix and others were betting when it would finally happen 😅) (A/N: Sorry I couldn’t work the bet part into this with the way that I was going with it.)
Word Count: 3739
Warnings: Little swearing, Angst, mutual pining, little fluff.  (c/b/f/n) = Childhood Best Friends Name.
Note:  Just to be clear I will not write things that would make Corpse uncomfortable and If he ever says that he is uncomfortable with fanfiction being written about him I will delete this.  *** Y/N and Corpse had known each other for several years, 4 years to be exact and they have been best friends for three of those and roommates for two, and for the last year Y/N had been developing feelings for the man. She thought that he had the same feelings for her but over the past few months she had begun to doubt it, there had been several times that she thought that he was gonna make a move and kiss her but every time he would pull back or something would cause an interruption and he would pretend that it never even almost happened. 
It was starting to frustrate her because she actually wants him to kiss her, but she’s too afraid to take the leap herself and make it happen.
The First Almost Kiss:
Over the past few days Y/N had noticed that her best friend and roommate Corpse had been acting a little weird around her and when she asked about it he just brushed it off. 
“It’s nothing Y/N” would be the answer that she got each time she asked and each time she sighed not believing him but she didn’t press it. It was a few days later that it almost happened for the first time, the two were sitting on the couch having a scary movie marathon, just cause they could and Y/N loved scary movies, all the curtains were drawn to the point that it was dark in the apartment and the only source of light being from the TV playing the first Paranormal Activity movie. Y/N had her head laying on his shoulder something that wasn’t unusual for their movie marathons, when there was a jump scare and she jumped letting out a little squeal, which made him laugh. She playfully glared looking up at him, she loved hearing his laugh. He looked down at her with a teasing grin on his face, they locked eyes and she couldn’t help but let the glare slip off her face, she could get lost in his eyes. His eyes broke contact and flicked down to her lips and then back to her gorgeous (y/e/c) and he leaned in slightly as if he were going to kiss her and, her breath caught in her throat, and her hands got a little clammy, and then all of a sudden he pulled back and cleared his throat. Y/N dropped her head, her cheeks heating up from the embarrassment, that she had actually wanted him to kiss her and she thought he was going to only for him to pull away, she wasn’t surprised, no one that she liked in the past had ever liked her back so why would he be any different? She blinked back tears of disappointment, and focused on the movie as an awkward silence settled between the two, it got so tense that Y/N had to leave the room because she couldn’t take it. After she was in the safety of her bedroom she let out a sigh. He watched as her door shut and he kicked himself ‘Fuck, nice going now you upset her. Why the fuck did you even try that? Of course she’s not going to like you the same way that you like her.’ She was upset but just not for the reasons that he was thinking, he thought she was upset because he had tried to kiss her, when she was really upset because he didn’t kiss her. ***
Things got a little weird between them after that but Y/N tried her best to just brush it off, like she wasn’t slowly falling for him more and more, but she never let it show cause of course he wouldn’t feel the same way about her. The next time it almost happened was a month and a half later.
The Second Almost Kiss:
Y/N sighed she had been feeling a little down ever since the incident but she refused to bring it up, he could tell that something was bothering her but she wasn’t budging on giving up what it was. No matter how hard he tried. Y/N had been in the kitchen making lunch for the two of them when all of a sudden she heard a crashing sound and immediately she ran towards the noise and what she found was Corpse, in front of a broken mirror and she sighed “Come here” He looked at her noticing the startled look she had on her face, “Sorry.” She gave him a smile shaking her head “It’s okay, Corpse, you don’t need to be sorry the noise just scared me a little that’s all” and then she made him sit down before she pulled a first aid kit out from under the sink and she started cleaning his hand, disinfecting it. She leaned a little closer to him to get a better angle while cleaning the cuts on his knuckles from the broken glass., she was putting the bandage on his hand and she looked up not realizing how close together they were, she ended up staring into his eyes, and if she were to lean forward just a half and inch their lips would be touching. She unintentionally pressed a little too hard on the bandage, as she was pressing it down making sure it was secure, that made Corpse wince and slightly hiss in pain and he pulled back, she gave him a sheepish look as both of their faces heated up slightly embarrassed at how close they had gotten. “Sorry, I didn’t mean t-to press that hard.” she avoided eye contact as she stood “there you go all cleaned up. I’m just gonna get the rest of this glass up and uhh there’s food on the counter. I was just finishing up making lunch when I heard the glass breaking.” Then she carefully cleaned up the rest of the broken glass. He nodded at her “Uh Thanks.” ‘Stupid, remember the last time you tried that, she got upset.’ ‘What the hell was that? Why are you so damn careless? Literally could have kissed him there, if you weren’t so careless’ Were the thoughts that simultaneously popped into their heads as they quietly walked into the kitchen, a tense silence falling over them for the second time. 
The third time that he almost kissed her happened exactly two weeks after the second incident. Y/N felt even more down than before she really beat herself up for messing up the second time, and she just kept reminding herself that she’s reading too much into that he doesn't have the same feelings for her that she does for him. The Third Almost Kiss: 
It had been two weeks since the mirror incident and Y/N had finally managed to convince Corpse to get out of the apartment for a little while, it was around 8 PM and she convinced him to go on a walk with her, since it was late and there wouldn’t be that many people around and he reluctantly agreed. 
So they went for a walk. It was a nice night out a little cloudy, and he couldn’t help but smile at the smile on her face as they walked back towards their apartment. It was almost 10 now even if he wouldn't admit it he had enjoyed going out on the walk with her, the two were about a block away from home when it started raining. 
Y/N grinned, she had always loved the rain, she used to play in it as a child, and getting caught in the rain like that made a feeling of nostalgia flood through her. Corpse ran in the direction of the apartment but stopped noticing that Y/N hadn’t followed so he looked back and saw her smiling, with her arms open, and she started spinning around in the rain laughing and seeing her that happy made a smile slip onto his face. He decided then that he loved seeing that smile on her face, she stopped spinning and grinned at him “Come on, spin around with me… I love playing in the rain.” she gave him a little pout and he sighed but walked back to where she was and she made him spin in circles with her as the rain pelted down soaking both of them. He smiled the smile she had on her face right now was worth standing out in the rain for. He spun her around, kinda like they were dancing in the rain and they both had the biggest smiles in their faces and they both leaned in slightly and right as they were about to kiss a car drove past, running right through a puddle and splashed them both making them pull apart. Y/N bit her lip, her cheeks tinting red, she cleared her throat “we should probably head back before we get anymore soaked from the rain” He agreed and they headed back to the apartment with a bit of an awkward silence enveloping them as they walked home. 
The fourth time was a few days after the almost kiss in the rain. 
The Fourth Almost Kiss:
The cough coming from the other room was what distracted Corpse from the editing of the video that he was supposed to post next weekend. Quickly looking at the bottom corner of the computer screen checking the hours, the young man saw that exactly three hours had passed since the last time he checked her. He paused everything he was doing, got up from his chair, left his recording room and headed to the kitchen where he picked up a small bottle of water and some strawberry cookies, which were Y/N’s favorites.
Without delay he knocked on the girl’s bedroom door, waiting for the little hoarse ‘Come in’ that came in response, and entered it. He found her sitting on her white gaming chair, with some headphones on her head and totally focused on the computer screen, which showed the construction of a witch house that she seemed to be making in Minecraft.
“Here, eat this and hydrate yourself.” He placed the items on her lap which was covered with a fluffy blanket that she had to cover her legs, and was careful not to step on the other empty water bottles that she had on the floor next to the desk. He also guaranteed that he was out of the camera frame and was not seen by any of her viewers.
"Thank you." She said, coughing again. She was pale but with red cheeks, her face was glistening with sweat and she looked sleepy and tired.
"Take a short break. It's been 20 hours, it's almost over." He informed her, checking now the watch on his wrist (it had been a birthday present from the girl in front of him), and making sure he was right in what he said.
Y/N was making her monthly challenge of streaming for 24 hours straight, just pausing to go to the bathroom and eating something. Corpse had gone to sleep and woken up with her still on the computer, and every three hours he checked on her.
Still looking at the screen she opened the package of cookies, took one and stuck it in her mouth, eating it quickly. Then she opened the water bottle and sipped it all in big sips, and the empty bottle went to join the others on the floor to be filled with tap water later.
The cough came back again, however.
"Are you okay?"
"My throat hurts a little." She informed in a tired voice and eating another cookie.
Corpse narrowed his eyes suspiciously, and without further ado he approached and touched her forehead and cheeks (his hand and the black sleeve of his hoodie being the only thing they could see). "Y/N! You are hot, you must have a fever."
"No I'm not, I'm okay."
"Yes you are, finish the stream now."
"I can't, it's almost over."
"Don't be stubborn, of course you can. They agree with me, stop and go to bed."
And it was true, her chat was in an uproar with thousands of people sending messages so quickly that it was almost impossible to read, extremely concerned about the girl and also telling her to end the livestream.
"Alright..." Y/N quickly said goodbye, extremely sorry but at the same time too tired to fight against them.
He calmly helped her walk to the bed (after that she almost fell when she got up) and when the stream and the computer were off. He snuggled her up in the bed, and left quickly to fetch more water and some medication that they had in home.
When Corpse returned he watched her put herself in a more sitting position, and gave her the pills which she swallowed quickly, then coughed a little. Corpse sat on the bed next to her, touching her forehead again, feeling her skin almost boiling against his cold hand.
"You pushed yourself too hard, Y/N."
"Maybe, but... I feel like I'm disappointing them, however." She said sadly.
"You're not, you have to take better care of yourself."
"Look who's talking." Y/N provoked.
"Shut up." He laughed, pulling her hair back behind her ear and watching her fever-red cheeks.
"Thanks Corpse, if you weren't looking after me, I don't think I would."
"You do the same for me..."
They shared a smile and a sweet look. The atmosphere was warm and comfortable, the two snuggled together. "You should stay away, I don’t want to make you sick."
"You need me here."
"You can't live without me." She said with a malicious gleam.
"No, I can't."
And then, without really knowing how, they gradually got closer to each other ... ending the distance centimeters that separated them slowly, now so close that their breathing is mixed and their lips almost touched ...
Until Y / N quickly pulled away to have a coughing fit, and looked at him embarrassed.
"I-"
"I'm going to get the thermometer, we have to measure your temperature." Corpse ran away so fast that it left Y/N unresponsive…
And the next day he was sick too.
The Fifth Almost Kiss: Y/N sighed she had finally given in to go on a blind date that her (c/b/f/n) had set up she wasn’t looking forward to it but she had to forget about him somehow since it had been made clear at least in her head that Corpse didn’t return her feelings, so she had agreed to the blind date as a way to forget about her feelings for her roommate. Corpse had been pacing around his room while Y/N got ready for her blind date, he really didn’t want her to go, a feeling of jealousy bubbled up in his chest thinking about it and right then he told himself that he was gonna try and stop her from going. Y/n had spent the past half hour trying on different outfit with (c/b/f/n) on facetime, and was finally in an approved outfit, that made her roll her eyes she really didn’t want to be doing this but she felt like she didn’t have a choice at this point so she would push down the feeling that bubbled up every time, she thought about it. After about 10 more minutes she was finally ready and ended the facetime call, she gave herself a once over her bathroom mirror, before walking out into her room, she slipped her shoes on and grabbed her bag. A thought lingered in her mind as she walked towards her bedroom door ‘maybe I could pretend I got sick last minute and back out.’ then she shook her head knowing that (c/b/f/n) would never believe it, wouldn't be the first time that excuse had been used to get out of a date.  ‘Suck it up Y/N and stop being such a little bitch, it’s just a date, you’ve been on them before’ 
She walked out of her bedroom, Corpse looked at her and faltered ever so slightly, she looked beautiful, he always thought she looked beautiful but at that moment she took his breath away. 
“Who are you going out with again?” “I’ve never met him actually (c/b/f/n) set it up, it’s a blind date.” “Why agree to go out with someone you’ve never met?” Y/n shrugged “i don’t know, try something new I guess.” she walked towards the door “I’ll be late if I don’t leave now, so I’ll be home later.” she opened the door but before she could walk out he gently grabbed her arm, turning her to face him. “Don’t go.” Y/N looked up at him “why? Why don’t you want me to go?” He looked down into her eyes for a moment before he dropped his hand from her arm, but he hesitated and once again didn't kiss her. She sighed "I'll see you later." 
Then she walked out of the door.  
Corpse ran his hand through his hair "dammit, that was your chance why didn't you take it?" 
Y/N took a deep breath as she got out of her car at the restaurant that she was supposed to be meeting her date at. 
She waited outside the restaurant for three hours and her date never showed, she rolled her eyes and couldn't help but feel slightly down about it. 
She got back into her car and drove home. 
She walked in and didn't see Corpse so she figured he was in his recording room,  she doesn't want to bother him even if all she wants is one of his hugs that always makes her feel better. 
She kicked her shoes off by the door and dropped down on the couch pulling her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on her knees and she sighed a feeling of sadness settling in her chest. She really just didn't want to be alone right now so she got up and knocked on the door she heard "Come in." 
She walked in "hey." 
He looked at her "hey Y/N, how'd it go?" He questioned. 
She sighed trying to not seem as bummed out as she really was “it didn’t” She didn't do a very good job at hiding it cause he caught it almost immediately. “What happened?” 
“Didn’t show… all the effort I put into this, only to be left standing outside where we were supposed to meet by myself looking pathetic for 3 hours.” she sighed. All he did was stand up from his computer chair and pull the girl into a hug. ***
Corpse had reluctantly gone out with Y/N, she had convinced him to go to the beach with her, it was the middle of the week in October so there shouldn’t be too many people around. She smiled at him as they sat on the sand “See not so bad is it?” He gave her a look “I guess not” was the answer that he gave and everything was going just fine until about an hour later. Someone nearby had recognized his voice but wasn’t sure where it had come from so Y/N got him up off the sand and ushered him towards the car “Let’s just get out of here alright? They haven’t located where we are so we can slip past without being noticed okay?” The man in question nodded at her not saying anything to avoid further being noticed and the two successfully made it to the car without incident Y/N pulled the keys out of her pocket and  they got into the car and she started driving them back to their apartment. Y/N pulled over about halfway home because the man beside her was having what seemed to her to be a panic attack, his hands were shaking uncontrollably and she noticed the ragged breathing and deduced that he was having a panic attack so she pulled over to try and help him calm down, she unbuckled her seat belt and completely turned in her seat to face him “Hey, look at me.” She tried to get his attention but it wasn’t working; he was too lost in his own world of panic. So she grabbed his face and gently turned his head to look at her “Corpse, look at me, I need you to focus on the sound of my voice, okay?” but he was still not responding to her and then suddenly she remembered reading something about panic attacks and holding your breath so she blew out a breath and muttered “god I hope this works.” She grabbed his face and leaned over the middle console of the car and she kissed him, the kiss lasted maybe 15 seconds before it was over and he let out a shaky breath but it wasn’t feeling like his throat was closing up on him anymore. “Why did you do that?” Y/N let out a breath as well before answering “I read somewhere that holding your breath could stop a panic attack, so uhh when I kissed you, you held your breath and it looks like what I read was right because it stopped.” They are staring into each other's eyes now Y/N had a soft smile on her face as he stared back at her with a small smile present on his face as well “was that the only reason you kissed me to get me to hold my breath?”
Y/N’s face turned red “I- uh… Let’s go home yeah?.” he agreed and she got turned back around the right and finished driving them home. Once they got into the safety of their apartment Corpse looked at Y/N “So are you gonna answer my question or not?” her face heated up once again as she stuttered “Uh- I- Uhh” then she tried to walk past him but he grabbed her arm lightly to stop her. And he turned her around to face him and whispered “Because I am hoping it wasn’t the only reason.” then he kissed her again only this time he was the one that instigated the kiss, Y/N smiled into the kiss before she kissed him back. 
THE END
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