#sorry if this sounds parasocial or whatever
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okiedojie25 · 7 months ago
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This tweet makes me feel things, and I don’t know how to process it
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hum--hallelujah · 1 year ago
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me trying to explain to literally anyone why the song Millions by Gerard Way makes me lose my everloving mind no matter where I am or what I'm doing when I hear it
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dabidagoose · 1 year ago
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I can't believe I get to have my ears transported into another incredible plane of existence. For only $5/month.
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bugflies00 · 26 days ago
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sorry this is referencing a few month old post/s you made about the dream situation and a question you’d asked about dream stans, you can delete this msg if you want since it’s not as relevant anymore. Again I’m sorry if this is weird or you don’t gaf (that’s fair bc who does lol)
TW for grooming and dream being fucking gross. You can just scroll fast and delete if you don’t want to read or deal with this, I understand that
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To preface Im about Tommy’s age now, when I was 15-17, used to be a huge dream stan, and I was very vocal about defending him online. —I was extremely parasocial and weird, and looking back on it I really regret how I acted.
So. Idk how much people who weren’t stans of his saw, but dream- as stupid as it sounds- was our friend.
He had bath calls with us, sleep calls with us, he told us in depth about his personal life and his health issues and his trauma and his moods and his habits and just basically everything. Most of his interactions with us was through his discord, and then someone in the fandom would stream his discord calls for people who weren’t there. A running joke was that dream had a parasocial relationship with us. there was absolutely no gap between creator and fan, he followed me more than once, he brought fans onto his discord streams and talked with them and he knew a good amount of us by name. He called us cute and talked about how much we all (as individuals) meant to him,
when drama happened he’d usually either do a space/call or go on his private and vent to us, there were I think two separate times he’d have full panic attacks over drama happening, and we’d have to talk him down. He also would, when responding to callouts or accusations, use arguments that his fans were making.
He did this during almost all his pitfalls, including the grooming allegations, his wording was often taken word for word from tweets by people I was friends with. I dropped him after the initial allegations, but for a while after i still checked in bc i was really hoping he’d be innocent (he wasn’t) and i can confirm he still does this. He also regularly dmed his fans, mostly his black fans, to ask for “help” on being less racist.
I don’t use the word “grooming” lightly, but dream was and is absolutely grooming his audience. Thats why dream stans seem so cult-like these days. The amount of guiltripping, lying, forcing an us vs them mentality, and manipulation I saw this man pull was actually sick. He’d frequently, privately, to us, vent about tommy or quackity, and about how “all his friends hated him” and “we were all he had left” (legit, not joking). He is extremely good at emotional blackmail, he is good at making his fans hate other creators and turn on them, he is very good at utilizing his tears and using wording that he knows will make his mostly teenage fanbase think he’s a good kind person.
He wants to impress on his fans that he really was just a kind person, the only kind person and the only voice of reason. That’s why when the Cantu thing happened, he started posting “messages” of him being so kind to the Uber driver. He needs his fans to think he’s a kind and loving person, and that Tommy and quackity and literally everyone who’s pulled away from him was just a fake friend who couldn’t be trusted. He somehow was always, always the one being fucked over.
I remember when I told my friend about dream (this friend had a completely neutral opinion on him and barely knew the guy beyond his manhunts) and he told me that sounded like grooming.
He gradually isolated his (primarily young, female) fanbase using private accounts, discord calls, Snapchat, and whatever else. He got extremely personal with us far beyond the level any creator should be, he used kindness and flattery (like calling us “mature”. Also legit) to make us feel genuinely loved by him, again, NOT in the way a creator loves their fans. In the way a friend loves their friends, even in the way a partner loves their partner. He lashed out at us and had panic attacks when we did criticize him, he used tactics to make us think he was always right and good, and more than that, make all his detractors seem like terrible people out to get him AND us, he played himself out to be the perpetual victim and used carefully cut clips and emotional manipulation (like how he brought up his ~poor innocent family~ when harassing quackity. Weaponizing trauma like that was something he did ALL THE TIME to us whenever he was criticized.) in order to use us against people he didn’t like, making us take the bullet for him.
He uses his kindness and supposed goodness as a weapon, he used Tommy’s own trauma around doxxing against him when Tommy dared to criticize him (“I supported you when you were getting doxxed, yet you won’t do the same for me?”)
He used trauma to relate to his audience, making us feel like he was the only person who got it.
It’ll sound stupid, but it was genuinely really scarring. The way he made me and my friends feel was so confusing. I often found myself feeling used and violated, but also like I was in debt to him. I dreaded when he’d have fans on call, I dreaded him but also he felt like all I had. The tone of him and the fandom was that “we have to defend him at all costs, they’re out to get him and we’re the last line of support he has”. It was embarrassing, it was stressful, it was horrible. I wasted so much fucking time and energy on him.
it was really traumatic and distressing, especially as a teenager who’d already been at a vulnerable point and used him as an escape originally. I know that sounds melodramatic but I mean it.
He is a groomer through and through. He’s barely getting any new fans, but he’s barely losing any either bc the grasp he has on them is so tight.
Worst of all, if you leave the fandom, you’ll lose your friends and become an enemy. He encourages that behaviour and that mentality. He encourages harassment of his ex-friends, he encourages harassment of anyone who doesn’t like him. He wants you to feel like he’s the only good person, and like he’s the only one who will care about you. And I know at least in my experience that the way I acted when I was a fan of his did genuinely cause me to feel alienated in my social life. I lost friends, I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone “safely”. That’s how he wants his fans to feel, because at some point he really is all you have.
And that’s why dream stans are still sticking around. It’s at the point where the only way they’ll leave is on their own volition, and the more publicly fucked shit he does, the less hope I have that they’ll do that.
i don’t have much to add but i agree, and several people i know who used to be big dream fans also agreed that there was a heavily insidious ‘us vs them’ atmosphere
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sereneres · 1 year ago
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“ln yn forgetting she’s an idol f…” ⁰
le sserafim x lsfm 6th member!reader / 1.1k
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summary. — “ln yn forgetting she’s an idol for five minutes and a few seconds (aka yn having no filter).”
warnings. — cursing / somewhat vulgar language / typical slurring from lsfm!yn / yn encouraging parasocial activities / video-format by @/jihyoruri
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“unnie, stop touchin’ m’like that.”
chaewon blinks. yunjin freezes. kazuha promptly looks away from the camera, desperately trying–and failing–to hold back her laughter. eunchae was already snorting. sakura, in an attempt to do damage control, continued talking cheerfully to the camera, subtly shifting so that she could cover whatever was happening behind her with her head.
“practice has been pretty hard.” she says, sighing. “not because the dance is hard, though that’s a reason too, but because it ends pretty late into the night.”
“yah, ln yn!” chaewon’s voice is heard, followed by the sound of skin hitting skin–likely her hand slapping some part of your body–and a muffled yelp. “if you say things like that, people are going to misunderstand!”
“but unnie, you keep touchin’ me ‘n weird places.” the younger whines. “what else ‘m i s’pposed t’say?”
sakura, having given up, just slumped onto the floor, letting those watching the live see what was happening behind her.
chaewon was practically on top of you, shaking you back and forth by your shoulders. yunjin was snickering as she attempted to get the leader off of you with little to no success. eunchae was still laughing, her face red, and kazuha, at somepoint, had joined in on her laughter.
“ln yn!” chaewon screams, her cheeks reddening. “you’re an idol, for goodness sake, an idol! don’t say that kind of thing!”
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“‘where is yn?’”
“yn is currently preoccupied in the kitchen.” chaewon answered, eyeing something off screen. “both kazuha and eunchae are helping her which is why they aren’t here either.”
“they’re making cookies.” yunjin added, smiling. “erm, chocolate chip cookies, if i’m not–”
the sound of a door opening violently interrupts the american’s words, and the two girls on screen look to their left with surprised looks on their faces.
“chaewon’nie, the stove’s ‘n fire.” following your words is the high pitched beeping of what is undoubtedly the dorms fire alarms going off.
“what?!” chaewon stands up, with yunjin following suit. “what do you mean it’s on fire?!”
“‘s ‘n fire.”
yunjin, seemingly having remembered that the live was still going on, quickly ducked into view of the camera. “sorry, guys, we’ll be right back.”
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“ow, ow, fuck, ow–”
sakura, frowning, looked over to where you were presumably standing off screen. “ynnie, are you alright?”
she isn’t facing the camera, her head turned just enough so that those watching could tell she was worried by how tense her jaw was but not enough that they could see how her eyes had widened in alarm. you had cursed, after all, and in the middle of a live no less.
“m’fine, jus’ slammed the cabinet on m’finger.” you murmured, trudging into view with a hand wrapped tightly around your wounded finger. “it really hurt, ‘kura-unnie.”
oddly enough, you don’t seem all that worried about having potentially ruined your image as an idol by cursing. if anything, it seemed as though you hadn’t realized you had cursed aloud at all.
sakura, who is more than worried enough for the both of you, hums in response, absentmindedly checking your finger as she glanced at the live’s comment section. fortunately, it looked like no one was put out by your cursing, finding it more hilarious than upsetting.
“‘nnie, why’re they all laughin’? did somethin’ funny happen?”
“err… not exactly.”
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“unnie, wou’d you accept a kiss fro’me as a present?”
yunjin blinks, visibly stunned by your words. chaewon and sakura, both having realized just what you said, glance at the staff member standing behind the camera nervously. eunchae and kazuha, on the other hand, had quickly got over their shock and were giving you incredulous looks.
“oh my god-”
“…’s tha a yes or a no?”
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“ln yn, just what do you think you are doing?”
you freeze, giving sakura a panicked look–to which she responds with an amused smile–before slowly turning around to face your angry leader. “erm, h’llo, chaewon’nie.”
“hand.”
behind you, you could faintly hear yunjin and eunchae whispering about how chaewon sounded like she was speaking to a dog, ordering for it to give her a paw or something.
chaewon, unamused by your lack of response, both verbally and physically, raised a brow. “yn.”
you sigh, reluctantly doing as the older girl ordered and give her your hand, where a long cut glared an angry red on your skin.
“ooh~ unnie is in trouble~” eunchae murmured, smiling innocently at you when you turned to glare at her.
“yn, how did you get this?”
“…erm, i accident’lly stabbed m’self with scissors?…”
yunjin chortled, enjoying the scene before her all too much. “cut, more like.”
“not helping, unnie.”
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“‘kura-unnie’s basically m’ sugar m’mmy.” you mumbled to the camera, eagerly showing off the brand new pair of sneakers you had gotten–been gifted–earlier that day. “see? she bought m’ the shoes i was lookin’ at the other day.”
eunchae, who had been quiet until this moment leans into view of the camera, snorted. “unnie, you call anyone who’s ever bought you anything your sugar mommy.”
“sug-ar mom-my?” kazuha repeated slowly, tilting her head as she turned to look at chaewon, who sighed and shook her head with a look of disappointment on her face.
noticing how irritated the leader looked, the ballerina wisely decided to stay quiet and mind her own business.
“‘m not wrong though.” you point out to the unimpressed girl. “‘kura-unnie ‘s really m’sugar m’mmy. she buys me s’much stuff…” you giggle sleepily, turning back to the camera. “th’nk you, ‘kura-unnie~”
at that, chaewon, probably having realized just how… weird the conversation has gotten, clicked her tongue, drawing both your and eunchae’s attention.
“should i tell her to stop buying you things then?” she asked rhetorically, an eyebrow raised. “after all, we can’t have an idol, much less a girl group idol, being called ‘sugar mommy’ by one of her members…”
panicked, you sit up. “s’rry ‘nnie, i’ll ask ‘em to cut it out, ‘kay? don’t tell ‘kura-unnie anythin’!”
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“to those who’re sayin’ that they wanna marry me…” you start absentmindedly, staring at the screen of your phone before raising your head to look at the camera. “‘you bein’ serious? ‘cause if you are…”
[ lsfms#1fan: yes. desperatehoe: YES?!!! reasonableperson: uh no r u not a minor??? desperatehoe#2: PLEASE BE MY GIRFLRIEDNHSJQBWBS ]
reading the more or less desperate comments your fans were making, you smile lazily, though it looks more like a smirk than anything else.
“if tha’s the case, then,” you continued, clearing your throat as you kept your eyes on the camera. “please sign a prenup agreement.” from the corner of your eye, you could see a variety of confused comments. “then, and only then, will i consider being married to you.”
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masterlist.
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vettelsdarling · 1 year ago
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𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝
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Lissie note… Here’s the winner of the poll (winner of this season as well)! Anyways, so sorry for my absence… hope this makes up for it❤️
Summary: Reader used to date George, as they’d been friends since birth. However, she takes a liking to someone he considers an enemy on the track: Max Verstappen. They do say revenge is best served cold… and who is colder than the star of Red Bull himself?
Things to note:
Reader is a year younger than Max (same age as George)
Reader made her break in Tennis
George and Reader are not on good terms (he cheated) (this is not a jab at George btw. My fav team is literally Mercedes)
The whole deal is pretty “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”.
Some of the fc is Emma Raducanu (my fav tennis player❤️)
Pairing: Max Verstappen x George’s ex gf!Fem!Reader
Warnings: none really
Taglist: @drugged-kitkat, @darleneslane, @allwaysallyway
Playlist Recommendations: 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟💗, 𝐌𝐕𝟏
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yourusername
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Liked by francisca.cgomes, charlottesiine, landonorris and 345,288 others
yourusername Stressful training all week. Ready to show off this weekend!🔥
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charlottesiine Yess! I’ll be watching! Btw, was he any good at tennis?
yourusername He wishes he was me. Should stick to racing.
user1 guys… the third pic…🧍‍♀️
user2 Didn’t George and her split like a few months ago?
user3 New guy? Who’s this🤨
user4 Her brother maybe?
user5 @ user4 Nah, did you see the comment Cha posted and the response to it? That’s def a new guy
user6 @ user5 it’s someone on the grid
user7 Ughhh I can’t wait for this weekend😩👏
user8 Is this the sound of my parasocial relationship crackling?
user9 WHO IS THAT?
user10 Ten bucks it’s Charles
user11 I’ll take that action. Ten it’s Lando
sportsgossip
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26,468 likes
sportsgossip someone spotted a certain tennis player with a certain Red Bull driver… anonymous tip! Seems like someone is over George already…
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user1 Wtf WHEN WAS THIS?
user2 Her recent post…😭
user3 MAX? WHAT😃
user4 I kinda love that omg
maxverstappen1
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Liked by yourusername, landonorris, charles_leclerc and 668,378 others
maxverstappen1 Just appreciating the view❤️
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yourusername Conveniently free this weekend
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landonorris I’m living for this shade
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user1 George is absolutely shitting himself rn I just know
user2 She traded a rookie for a world champion
user3 I respect it
user4 I love that Max is subtly hinting that George didn’t appreciate her as much as he does😭
user5 It’s honestly kinda cute
user6 Shade aside, it really is
user7 George is missing out
user8 Okay but she is GORGEOUS
user9 Can someone give some background info? Why did she and George break up?
user10 Allegedly, George cheated on her with someone he met at a post-race party. She got an anonymous tip about it and they couldn’t seem to work things out I guess… but yeah. Everything is alleged.
user9 Oh okay thanks that’s helpful
yourusername
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Liked by charlottesiine, francisca.cgomes, maxverstappen1 and 573,266 others
yourusername This week was just 🤍🤍🤍
Tagged: charlottesiine
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charlottesiine Must do this again🤍
yourusername Agreed🤍
francisca.cgomes Where was I in this🤨
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user1 Okay but these two are literally the best friend dynamic ever.
user2 Two pretty best friends… could never be us @ randomuser
user3 I’m genuinely so confused by her relationship status rn but the fact that her and Cha are still friends??? LOVE IT
user4 Here’s me wishing I was a wag or whatever…🧍‍♀️
user5 Relatable
user6 Can’t wait for her to post pics with Max👏
user7 I mean… it isn’t official though. Is it?
user8 I don’t think she will do that unless she also confirms her relationship with him
user6 @ user8 Max already posted her…
user9 I just know she’s friendly
user10 She is! I went to one of her opens and she signed my card of her and gave me a hug. She even offered to stay around for pictures and stuff.
wagsf1
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12,289 likes
wagsf1 @ yourusername and @ maxverstappen after his race win🌸
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user1 I’m seriously just wondering HOW George is feeling about all this
user2 Whatever he feels abt it… he deserves it.
user3 George is probably crying in the garage
user4 They’re so cute though😭❤️
user5 They’re my new fav couple on the grid.
maxverstappen1
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maxverstappen1 I don’t think I could’ve been luckier than this❤️
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yourusername ❤️❤️❤️
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user1 I’m happy she broke things off with George cause this is just so cute
user2 Maybe don’t bring it up in Max’s comments💀💀
user3 I love how he’s acting like they’ve been dating for years😭
user4 I mean… he has EVERY right to
user5 This is what I mean when I say I want to date
user6 Ik they recently started dating but I just know they’re going to last
user7 Max is so dedicated like wtaf😭 We did not see this from George
user8 We really didn’t💀
user9Max talked about her in the most recent post-race interview😭❤️
user10 This relationship is going to set unrealistic standards for me😭😭😭
yourusername
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Liked by maxverstappen1, charlottesiine, francisca.cgomes and 738,267 others
yourusername Another win added to my collection🎾🔥 Kind of like you @ maxverstappen1
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charlottesiine I should have seen it live! You were amazing🤍
yourusername ugh I love you
user1 YESSS👏
user2 She’s an icon
user3 Fav wag and fav tennis player
user4 George is MISSING OUTTTT
user5 Wimbledon win upcoming🔥
user6 Manifesting it🙏
user7 Her and Max stacking up wins is a new form of couple goals I haven’t seen before. I love it.
user8 Literally
user9 She’s so pretty❤️
user10 Max is lucky
maxverstappen1 posted a new story
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yourusername posted a new story
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maxverstappen1
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maxverstappen1 Taking a break from reality❤️
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yourusername ❤️
landonorris Now I know who you’ve been ditching me for
yourusername know your place
landonorris @ yourusername 🤨🤨🤨
user1 So it’s official then
user2 I don’t know who I’d rather be😩
user3 We never saw this content with George🤡
user4 Max and her are the definition of a perfect couple omfg
user5 They’re so cute wtf
yourusername
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yourusername Should I start curling my hair more often?✨
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charlottesiine You’re already gorgeous but that hair is so cute🥰
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maxverstappen1 You’re beautiful no matter what you do with your hair❤️
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user1 FABULOUS YET AGAIN😮‍💨
user2 I would leave my current relationship for her
user3 She’s so Lana coded and I love it
user4 She’s just so tennis coded and old money and I’m in loveeee
user5 The fact that SHE was cheated on?🧍‍♀️
user6 Puts things into perspective
user7 I’ve come to realize that it doesn’t matter how pretty you are anymore😭💀
user8 I’m literally buying tickets to her next game so I can shove marriage papers in her face
user9 I’ll beat you to it
user10 Why Max… why not me😐
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𝗥𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻…
𝘾𝙝𝙚𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙪𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚!
𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩
𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩! (𝙄𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙤𝙣, 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨, 𝙙𝙢𝙨, 𝙤𝙧 𝙖𝙨𝙠𝙨: 𝙒𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙙𝙧𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙧(𝙨) 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚(𝙨) 𝙤𝙛 𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣.)
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chaifootsteps · 2 months ago
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Keith David recently complimented the hb cast saying when he’s with them he’s in the presence of something beautiful. I think that’s really sweet, because yes, the vast majority of the cast of HB seem like very kind and passionate people. I’m really glad Keith is having a good time, and tbqh I’ve never really had an issue with the cast.
But weirdly there are already people saying shit like “you just KNOW the Hazbin haters are mad lol” and that Keith said Hazbin was his favorite role—
FIRST—It’s really weird that they assume people who don’t like Hazbin think Keith needs to be “saved” or some shit? Keith David is a grown ass man who can make his own decisions. He’s a very very talented individual, who has been in TONS of movies and shows, and has done a lot of really amazing voice work. He’s the best performer on HH imo, and while I don’t like Hazbin Hotel personally, I find it downright bizarre that Stans would assume that we’re like…mad at him or don’t think he can make his own choices??
SECOND—the clip that was circulating did not show him saying Hazbin is his favorite role, he said he’s in the presence of something beautiful with the other cast mates and crew while working on the show (which tbh, I agree with—I really love a lot of the actors/actresses on the show, and I think, all things considered, they did a good job with what they were given. I’m of the opinion that the voice director did a pretty bad job, as a lot of the seasoned VAs on the show sounded kinda off, but I digress)
And hey, if he DID say that on a separate post or clip like. That’s okay??? He’s allowed to like the role??? If it’s his favorite role that’s great!!! That doesn’t automatically mean that everyone who’s ever criticized or disliked Hazbin is wrong in their opinion.
There’s like. This weird insistence I’ve seen in Hazbin Stan spaces where they point to the professionals who have worked with Spindlehorse or started in Viv’s shows and are like “SEE??? THIS REALLY TALENTED PERSON WAS ON THE SHOW!!! SO IT MUST BE GOOD!!!!”
And I mean. That’s still all subjective. I’m so sorry, but it is!! Idk how to tell yall this but great actors and artists have been in some really really bad movies. It’s not really an indicator of if something is SURE to be well written or made. Again, all subjective, but like. Idk Keith David is very very much allowed to think Hazbin is the greatest story of all time and his favorite role ever, and I’m very much allowed to disagree with him on that, but still enjoy his body of work.
My favorite performance of his will always be Childs from John Carpenter’s “The Thing”, but that’s just, like, my opinion, man!!! Who cares!!! Maybe Keith hated that role! That would make me a little concerned, because I’d be worried that he was treated badly or was struggling during the filming, but if it turned out he just didn’t think it was a good movie? That’s okay!!!! Him not liking his part in it wouldn’t take away what I like about it.
Just had to vent that. I really really hate when fans or critics bombard actors from shows in any way, either by being overly familiar in a really parasocial way, or by acting like they’re “owed” something from them.
Either way, love Keith, not a fan of Hazbin personally, and that’s an incredibly normal cold take to have that for whatever reason some people apparently cannot fathom. It’s kind of sad to me that people will see an actor compliment a show they like and immediately go “PEOPLE WHO DONT LIKE THIS SHOW MUST BE SO MAD RIGHT NOW HA!!” Instead of being like “aww yay, I’m so glad the actor enjoys the character”
(In the same way, I really loved Adam Sandler in Hotel Transylvania and Fifty First Dates. Doesn’t mean I have to love every single “grown ups” film, or defend “Jack and Jill” as high art cinema. I don’t understand why people don’t get this Chai. Anyway! Have a great night!!)
Even if we discount the fact that Keith David was probably (rightly) treated like a king on that set just because he's an old guy and Keith David, what the hell do they think he's going to say? "I hope this show and everyone involved with it gets fucked with an iron stick?"
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godsiero · 1 month ago
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long, sappy, emotional roller coaster about my chemical romance incoming, as someone who has a deep emotional connection and love for the black parade is dead and attended wwwy october 19th
if you had told little 12-year-old kinley ‘mychemicalromance’ pletzer (who cried in her bedroom on march 23rd, 2013 over my chemical romance breaking up), that
- at 19, my chemical romance would announce their reunion tour and she would get tickets to see them live
- at 22, they would release new music
- at 24, she would get to relive all of her lonely memories of watching, memorizing, and performing “the black parade is dead,” live from mexico city, in her bedroom all over again, but this time, live, with my chemical romance right in front of her face, along with thousands of other people (who probably did the exact same thing), i think that sad little kid would’ve thought you were making fun of her by joking about something that could never possibly happen in this lifetime.
the black parade is an album that means so much to me and a lot of other people out there on this rock floating through space. it’s a love letter, or a hate speech, whatever mood you’re in, to and about grief. mourning a person, a love, a mindset, a dream, your past self, your present self, your future self, and all of the decisions you did or did not make that led you to your grave. it’s heavy, it’s dark, it’s sad, it’s emotional, it’s haunting, it’s painful, and it hurts to listen to.
sometimes.
other times, it’s a lot of fun and an incredible masterclass on storytelling and creativity, which is probably the best reason i can think of as to why i give such a shit about this goofy band! it’s hopeful, it’s nostalgic, it’s reminiscent, it’s beautiful, it’s thoughtful, it’s loving, and it fills you with a comfort that is not unlike a hug from your favorite person.
it is filled with uncertainty and it is filled with pride. it is so heartbreaking and devastating to experience from front to back, time and time again, but i will come back to it, always. this album just graduated high school, it’s time for it to go off and see the world and make a name for itself, can you believe it? all that time spent being replayed and revisited by a bunch of sad, lonely, heartbroken kids, who didn’t know if they would ever see tomorrow, but did. maybe some of those kids didn’t see tomorrow, but this was there for them.
there are so many people i share my love for this album and this band with, and a fraction of them were there last night. i am so so grateful to have made it to this year, in this life, with this band and it’s fans, who are nothing, if not persistent and loyal. i have never felt more seen and understood by anybody more than i do by my chemical romance, and i know that sounds stupid and cliche and parasocial, but it’s true. i said this in 2022, but they have been there for me when nobody else was, when i didn’t think i would see tomorrow, when i was sad, when i was happy, when i was lonely, when i was angry, and when i just wanted to feel loved, they were there. this may not make sense to a lot of people, but they are my best friends, my brothers, my dads, my soulmates. in order to love and know me, one must, inevitably, know them, too, and that fills me with an incredible joy that has been blooming for 13 years. those 13 years have been up and down, left and right, my highest highs, my lowest lows, and everything in between, but they’ve always been there and they will continue to be there long after they’ve gone for good.
i just want to look this kid in the eyes and tell them everything will be okay. not perfect, not even great, but okay. you get through all of the bad stuff all by yourself, with no guidance at all, and i’m sorry about that, but i am so proud of you. you’re such a strong kid. you’re so much more than that, but that’s the most important part of you. i’m here for you, now, little kinley. 24-year-old, grown adult kinley does everything in their power to make you happy. you never quit this band and you will love them with the same passion and fire forever. you never let the other kids making fun of you for liking the scary music get to you. the one sparkle you never lost was this one. they’re gonna come back and you even get to see them. TWICE! something you probably never imagined, i’m sure. i love you so much, kid. i’m sorry it took me so long to figure out. you’re my everything <3
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mobiused · 8 months ago
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is it too late to ask for said actual nuanced statement about your feelings on the way loona has split up and how you feel about supporting each of the factions as a fan
No :0 Okay well this posted early accidentally come back when I've edited it with the answer you seek; edit here it is
As anybody who follows me and actually listens to what I post knows, yes, I was disappointed with the choice that the 5 members in modhaus made.
The reason is of course Jaden Jeong's involvement in the conditioned that caused the members' suffering. I honestly do not care to "respect" the members' choice when, firstly, they're public figures, which means they're in a position where they open themselves to judgement, having surpassed what it means to be a regular person into an overman; hence, idol (no this isn't lore) (yes it is) and it is parasocial to think we as fans owe them the kind of blind devout respect that is reserved for people you know and are close to. We, of course, need to respect them as people even if they are idols which leads to my next point. Secondly, they're adult women who are capable of making their own choices. It is only patronizing, infantilising and self delusionary to cheer them on for every choice they make void of criticism. If I respect them as a person, that means I care about the decisions they make enough to be able to disagree with them. The only decisions you respect unconditionally are from your God (if you have faith) or someone who has got you fucked up.
of course all of this is only my opinion to be clear ^^;
So to continue, I don't respect their decision to join modhaus. However I do accept their decision and think of them no less as people - that's very important to me for people to be aware of! That may have sounded harsh but I only have strong feelings because I care.
When it comes to modhaus vs ctd, to ME it feels like a faction of people who are willing to ignore a history of mistreatment to blindly follow their idols because that's what idolatry is versus a faction who are distrusting and reluctant to give a second chance to a man (and his company) who have done them wrong. And of course bias vs bias.
Regarding why I don't hold ctd to the same standard as modhaus; one is an established company with another group under their belt and the other is a company that formed because Hyunjin asked really niceys. The "mistakes" that modhaus are making, like having Jaden and doing NFTs and having loss of the members' autonomy to give fans control as a business model (to be frank, I don't care about missing english subtitles or those small things, its whatever) are much more severe to me than CTD fumbling the bag in ways that only affect them financially. Sorry I don't care about them picking venues that are too big for them on a concert, I don't think it's that big a deal.
In this way, I think cloo vs ourii, ctd vs modhaus, is much more than the preference people have for the idols actually in the companies but rather an ideological thing. Can you put the past (that isn't yours to begin with) behind you to stan a group with no guarantee of being completely safe and in control, or are you going to be wary of a company that has done little to demonstrate how it's protecting the girls' best interests. At least that's how it looks to me.
And it's weird how we dont see Chuu & Yves akgaes right? And I think that's because the companies are such unknown elements that it's nowhere near as polarising to support them, like there's no reason not to.
And I do think there is a lot of us vs them going on. (some) People who are artms member stans who have become full-blooded ouriis have made it their mission to find any excuse to bring CTD down - maybe out of a guilty conscience vengeance for the criticism that modhaus has been getting. And the same can definitely be said about cloos who just want more reasons to shit on modhaus even though the problems are inconsequential (see? I'm not wholly biased)
In summary I just think it's sad that it's had to have been this divisive. If the loona members weren't in the position that they were - that no company was willing to accept them bar modhaus, and the members who got out first didn't feel obligated to go to modhaus, since CTD - and other places - weren't an option, things maybe would've turned out differently. Or maybe they wouldn't have, and there will always be fanwars regardless.
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fairycosmos · 8 months ago
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I'm sorry to do this bc I know you get so many ppl venting and you have your own shit to deal with and yet ppl on here constantly implicitly ask you to console them which is incredibly emotionally labour intensive. However all that being said. I found out my cat who is 9 but is very young looking and active and shows no sign of pain or suffering has large cell lymphoma (general prognosis 6-9 months) and I'm literally broken. She's my best friend. I've been through years where I've had no friends but I've always had her and she's everything to me and I've known a lot of cats who live to late teens so I had expected that for her and this has come out of nowhere and is just so soul destroying because she is my whole world and I love her so so much. she's literally saved my life (have been at the point of kms so many times but didn't for her) and now she probably wont be here next year and I don't know how to keep existing without her and I didn't know who else to tell. I really appreciate your kind and honest presence on this site it's very cleansing and healing and ik this is a parasocial thing to say/feel but you are like a friend to so many. so thanks. even just having a space to say this stuff is invaluable. You have helped and comforted and offered love and insight to so many people despite your own suffering. Much love to you, I hope the universe treats you with lots of kindness going forward.
i am so so sorry to hear this - sometimes i honestly can't believe how cruel life can be. i wish there was something tangible i could say that would make a change to what you're feeling but my experience with grief (all types of grief esp preemptive grief like what you're dealing with) has proven to me that words often ring hollow when you're going through it. i do want to offer some understanding and some comfort despite that, i just know it may be hard for you to register right now and that's alright. losing a pet is so so deeply painful and it's completely normal to be devastated and taken aback by this news - anyone would be. at the same time it sounds like your cat is deeply lucky to have you and to be loved so completely by someone. while what you're both going through is horrific, i am so glad she has you to take care of her and that she ended up having a wonderful life with you - the gift you have given her and continue to give her every day just by being her owner is huge and i hope you continue to remind yourself that as you confront there next few months. she is warm and fed and taken care of and she has the best chance of living longer with her condition bc of the care and love you continue to show her. i know this is much much easier said than done but please try to take it one day at a time and make every moment count with her - it's easy to get lost in the idea of losing her but she is still here and you still have time together, albeit not as much time as you both deserve. i can't stand how much of a gamble of luck everything seems to be and how horrible things happen to ppl and animals who truly deserve so much more - that anger, despair and incredulity still hits me day after day and i feel it very hard on your behalf rn. you have every right in the world to process that sense of feeling like your soul has been destroyed on whatever timeline works for you. as long as you continue to move forward, hour to hour or minute to minute despite it all.
are you able to talk to any friends/family about this? i only ask bc pet loss is one of the hardest things in the world to go through and i think having some sort of super system could make the days feel a little more manageable. if not, please feel free to message me and share updates, stories, vents etc about your cat and how you're doing - i lost my childhood dog a few yrs back and i do understand. it's such a heavy feeling to carry around with you all the time. i would also recommend joining a pet loss support group as another option too, bc so so many people sadly completely get what youre going through. i hope your little girl is doing OK today and that you are taking care of yourself as much as you feel able to as you process this news. if you need to break down, go to sleep, scream, punch pillows, be numb - that's alright. there's no wrong way to react to this. i just hope you give yourself some grace as you do. sending so so much love to you both - and thank you so much for the insanely kind words by the way. you didn't have to say that and it really made my night better that you did. so sorry you're in this position. X
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undercoverdonderwolk · 1 month ago
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the idolization of kelly p is def one of the weirdest to me but it’s odd as hell all around. i gotta say some of the drivers def play into it though. alex and lily + pierre and kika for sure. not that wag involvement/branding is anything new or revolutionary, it just kinda seems like playing with fire a bit more in f1. but that’s kind of been my beef w/ f1 marketing for a couple years now! social media teams actively encourage fourth wall break in a way thats kind of reminiscent of that whole wack ass alex wennberg seattle kraken booktok debacle from a couple of years back. it’s weird, it crosses a lot of well established fandom boundaries, and i’m surprised it hasn’t yet blown up in anybody’s face. like. why are we using straight up ship names in official content? why are CERTAIN social media teams posting straight up thirst trap edits of drivers? i understand a cute little wink-wink, nudge-nudge moment is great for views and clicks, but it’s getting to the point where f1 social media teams are speaking in fan lingo, referencing fandom in-jokes, etc ALL THE TIME. it’s def at its worst on tiktok but there’s no shortage of it on every other social media platform too. ik i might sound crazy because tbf all of those little things sound harmless on their own but the big picture they form, to me, is not great. it’s a deliberate dissolution by f1 marketing teams of a lot of the boundaries between fans and these real people (who ultimately did not sign up for this weird deliberate line-blurring since they are athletes by vocation not influencers). and ofc that dissolution of boundaries is going to have consequences. i absolutely think it’s a huge contributor to the wag weirdness on f1blr and pretty much everywhere else since unfortch we don’t exist in a vacuum.
oh yeah def. so many drivers actively encourage their fans to be parasocial with them/their gfs and same goes for marketing teams. like i'm sorry but the hashtagchestappen content or the hashtagyukierre or whatever the fuck... i don't like that lol. get out of my school etc it really does feel like the wennberg debacle yeah lolllllll and it's only a matter of time until something like that happens in f1. interesting to me how mclaren for example has really pulled back from the barely concealed You Can Ship These Guys promo stuff a lot of the other teams are pushing. i wonder why because they went hard with it during the carlando era and you could argue lando and oscar are the perf people to really push that and mclaren is insidious enough to make that work for them but it's really not a thing currently. very interesting to moi!
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melrosing · 2 months ago
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hi. we didn't interact before, but i've been following you for your asoaif takes for a good while now (your opinion is always treasured, it's kinda hard to find a good jaime poster, or at least i didn't have much luck).
when you first wrote about your dad's illness ngl my heart sank. it'll be 10 years this year since my mom passed from cancer, and knowing what you were about to go through, i wouldn't wish that on anybody. i didn't contact you then bc i didn't think it was my place to inquire or offer support. (maybe it isn't one now, then you can ignore all of this.)
what i wanted to say is - i am so sorry, it's such a relentless and unfair thing. the thing is that you think you'll be prepared - after all, children should bury their parents, it's the order of life and what not - and then you are not. it's such a profound state of emptiness and devastation, that i don't really know what to compare it to, i don't think it even can be compared. and the shitty thing is that you stay with this feeling for a long, long while. until it subsides, fortunately. but you can't get rid of it fully, i don't think. maybe it's a good thing, grief is a love not given, or how that saying goes.
i hope i won't sound parasocial and/or presumptuous (and if i do please forgive me, that was not my intention), but i hope you have a good support system to help you grief properly and you give yourself enough time to do it. your wellbeing should not come as a trade off for healing of others. on the same note, please don't apologise for posting whatever you want to post about your dad.
don't know how to finish this , but please, take care.
thank you so much for this message, I really really appreciate you taking the time to write this 🫂 and honestly it’s not presumptuous at all, I’ve sometimes felt like I’m kind of taking advantage of my lil fandom following to cry about this stuff on main but like…. idk the connection means a lot. I have great friends and family around me but sometimes hearing that someone you’ve never met before knows what this is like or hears what you’re saying?? that also means a lot. I don’t really know how to explain it exactly but it’s given me some clarity about all this.
but yeah apart from all that, cancer is a fucking beast and I’m so so sorry you lost your mum to it as well. losing a parent like this is such agony
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lunar-years · 3 months ago
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Sorry to sound so silly and parasocial but i just love Taylor swift so much y’all. I know she’s like so mega pop star and Mainstream or whatever now but I also think the people who Get Her™️…like…on a Deeper Level…are a much smaller group and I appreciate yall so much. For instance wasn’t it so weird when folkmore “fans” were coming out the wood work to announce they actually hate her personality once she started showing it, or the people who act like she’s suddenly lost all her morals for dating a footballer like…? I’m so sorry you people don’t understand her at all! And you never understood her!!! She’s really just a weird girl at heart writing for other weird girls. That’s her superpower!!!!! I love her.
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hanasnx · 1 year ago
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i've loved the whole starlet reader little bits and bobs recently. she's my babygirl, i have posters of her up on my walls and her playboy cover under my bed <33
i know the au! is hayden-based, but my brain circled around anakin for this one. 
in my mind the prequels take place in what would be our 1940s or 1950s as the ogs reflected closer the political context of the 60s. 
which lends itself for a golden-age starlet reader, and i wanted to share a thought! ITS SO LONG IM SO SORRY  ;;
-🥩
with a war raging on, people need some sort of distraction as to not go insane with the politics and bloodshed of it all - an escapism the entertainment industry is more than happy to provide. anything you could possibly want to escape your own life for a little while, they have. 
i like to imagine each clone legion has has their own taste when it comes down to their poison of choice - the 302th are very into the thrillers of an acclaimed silver fox actor. the 127th favour comedies regardless of whoever stars in them.
the 501st claimed starlet!reader as their girl. that's quite literally how she's known in the clones barracks, "the 501st's girl".
the legion is very familiar with their girl and her filmography. even though not all of her repertoire is romance, that's the one genre they indulge in the most.  
in the two hours they get to spend with her, they get to live the romance of a lifetime they may never get to experience otherwise. she's their forbidden lover, their wife, their temptress.
their girl, really.
she's special to them, even if in a parasocial way. it's a tragic thought to think how many of them passed with a picture of her on the windshield of their ship. 
maybe that's why anakin agreed to watch a holo-film of hers with the 401st. it's important to them, so it's important to him. a little bonding time. 
he just didn't expect to become so quickly enraptured with you, too - not in the same way his clone comrades are, their girl is the vessel for their fantasies. to anakin? you're his fantasy. 
i doubt he cares much for your movies, i think he prefers your interviews and commercials.  he has a few favorite frames he comes back to often. 
he lingers on them more than he should - a parasocial relationship *hardly* counts as an attachment anyways. 
considering how most holo-projections are 3D, i'm sure he's already familiar with your form, from head to toes. 
but no projection can compare to seeing the real thing for the first time - you were actually real? he couldn't wrap his head around that idea. 
i mean, you looked real when you arrived in a pretty little white-blue outfit, accompanied by palpatine, (who ofc organized the whole thing). you were all smiles and waves, clearly trying to make contact with as many eyes as you could before you went onstage.  
you sounded real when you yelped and giggled when you almost tripped on the slippery stairs when you were headed center to deliver a small speech to your boys (as you so lovingly called them). 
but what really almost sold him on the fact that you were real, was feeling you. physically you were meters away, but with his connection to the force? you were almost breathing down his neck with how close he felt your force presence. the very essence of what makes you, you. 
you were singing your heart out up there -  oblivious to how you intoxicated almost all of anakin's senses by simply existing in the same space as him. 
he just really needed to confirm you tasted real, to be completly sold on your existence as something beyond a hallucination of his haunted mind. 
WHAT THE FUCK
look i dont like long inbox msgs bcos its rly difficult for me to focus on them and all that etc etc whatever whatever but this.. this i loved reading. i want more of it. i want to hear more about the 501st's girl and how ppl joke about it "oh hows your lil girlfriend??" as if shes the collective gf of this division sldfj. i wonder how anakin gets closer, do you feel drawn to him too? if so, is it cos hes pretty or is it a magical thing? are the 501st jealous or playfully jealous over anakins success in bagging you??
my cheeks slowly heated up the entire time i read it i rly enjoyed it omg
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fakemonalisa28 · 10 months ago
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Uhhh I don’t know how many people who saw my Jared and Jensen post are gonna see this but I just want to say that I’m so sorry for spreading misinformation.
I really wasn’t having the best week this week, and I was on Pinterest and saw that Jared had some sort of beef with Justin Bieber which I found hilarious, but when I searched up the exact details of the beef I found it weird af that Jared was calling Justin “she” and saying that he looked good without make up. It came off as misogynistic and transphobic to me (even though that tweet from 2014 doesn’t represent Jared 10 years later in the current day) and I found it weird that he and Jensen was talking about beating up 12 year old girls even though they were joking.
This upsetted me esp since I started watching the show cause, well I had a crush on Dean Forester from Gilmore Girls who was played by Jared but hated how they wrote him & started watching SPN cause of Jared and stayed with SPN cause of Jensen. So I guess I felt like I was personally being betrayed. Which sounds and is parasocial af
I also have a tendency to purposefully make things worse for myself whenever I’m having several bad days a rows to, well feel something, and make fun of things that I like (this happened with Taylor Swift, it happened with ensemble stars, and now it happened with Supernatural) as a form of self loathing. That combine with Jared and Jensen’s comment (plus I found out people were saying that Jensen was homophobic even tho from what I’ve seen he’s not) and i decided to post some stuff not thinking anyone other than a few people will see it (even though I tagged the post 😭) and obviously people called me out on my bullshit.
I knew about Jared and his family feud donation but I ignored that cause I thought that… honestly I don’t even know, I guess I thought he was trying to make himself look better even though I was definitely reaching. Donating was an amazing thing for him to do.
Jared and Jensen seem like dudes in real life and without them SPN would not be what it is. Also they both are obviously very attractive, I’ll be the first person to admit, so I’m sorry for implying that they were not and saying that Barbie and Hatsune Miku or whatever actually played Sam and Dean. Again wasn’t in the best mental state and I thought it was funny even though it wasn’t
I’m so sorry for any Jared, Jesen or J2 fans that I’ve hurt. I’m planning to take a break from Tumblr and actually focus on my real life people.
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roughentumble · 2 months ago
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Sorry to be an overly parasocial anon, but have you thought about seeing a therapist? It seems like you are experiencing some intense dissociation from your sense of self. Which personally sounds very scary to go through and it might be worth it for you to talk about it with a professional, to make sure everything’s okay?
LMAO wrote out a whole reply to this but realized it was really long and rambly and had a stupid metaphysical explanation that maybe didnt make much sense? but anyway anon, while maybe i dont have the Most stable sense of self, mostly i am just otherkin, which i dont talk about often but doesnt cause me distress. in the same way some folks Are cats or dragons or elves, i Am logan, and a host of others(my brain tends to kin shit in pairs/small groups, i guess as a defence against getting lonely? or maybe just because whatever souls reincarnated into me, were so attached to each other that they clung together when entering a new body. or maybe its all in my head and i just makes me happy to think that way! who knows, i just work here.)
maybe a therapist could "give me a more stable sense of self" but i feel like they'd just tell me to stop being otherkin and "embrace who i am" or whatever, and i feel pretty myself when i am expressing myself this way, and i feel it all on an embarrassingly spiritual level. i'm more fictionflicker-y than some other more stable 'kins which is probably part of my problem too, but holding onto one "self" above all others is so dull and difficult. i'd rather just see who's awake today.
i can post the explanation too if anyone's curious what i wrote but you're probably not. and i can list the various 'kintypes i have/have had, but again idk why anyone would be interested. and maybe i just "have too strong interests" and they "take over my mind" for a while, maybe i "lose myself" in movies, but quite honestly that explanation is mostly just what i say to myself when i start feeling "fake" and it causes the most emotional instability and causes me to lose my sense of self instead of helping me "be whoever [this vessel acting with a singular soul in its drivers seat] is", so im pretty sure thats Not true and its just my anxiety fucking with me.
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