#sorry if this makes no snse im still feelin popp!

[cwarscars]

a big important part of the way i write heidegger is that i like to explore a man with multiple sides to his personality. i know that people have an opinion of heid straight out of the gate (which honestly, if you don't extend those same feelings to other villains then i don't find that entirely fair.). but like,

i like to explore /why/ heid does a lot of what he does. i don't make excuses for his prejudice or his violence. i try my best to explain it. like, him loving war / violence? the man was bought up in a violent household and raised on toxic masculinity. the man is a blood knight.

heid's incompetence / mistakes ? he was promoted to the top through connections / his loyalty (being easily exploited / used by shinra cause he was dumb & sick).

he suffers with alcohol addiction and has been drunk on the job more than once.

the way he treats his troops ? he sees them as weak & spoilt because they didn't fight through the war or other hardships like he has. ( and we honestly see elements of this in the games )

like, i do my best to explain as much as i can partly because i KNOW how despised this character is & i also know that i don't believe in the whole 'evil without a reason'. moustache-twirling-villains are never what i've wanted to write & i do my best to show that through a character canon-based but also hugely inspired by my own thoughts / feelings / film & tv inspirations.

i think that it's worth knowing this about my portrayal of heid when we interact or plot because i don't derive enjoyment through playing him as a 2d villain. don't get me wrong, i LOVE exploring dark stuff with him. i LOVE writing him doing the wrong thing or being nasty but i also love implying reasons behind it.

i like injecting the idea that maybe there's something behind something else. for example, his physical abuse of his soldiers is the reflection of how his father once physically abused him. he calls them 'his boys', despite his disdain - he sees them as his sons, hence the use of a heavy hand to 'teach them a lesson'. he's wrong. it's a disgusting act to be violent toward someone. especially if you see them unconsciously as a relative BUT that's the point of writing it. i write to be analysed. it's pretentious and it's a stupid thing i do, but i love doing it.

idk, i just felt like writing this because long and short of it is, if you're folllowing me for just heid - then i'm sorry, this isn't just heid. it's 'my heid'.