#sorry if this is super obvious and kind of a pointless post but I think it's just really fascinating

[bemtevis]

Yessss to everything you said!! Like it was the best book in the series, but I feel like maybe the focus on a certain kind of romance and the abundance of characters really led everything else to be sort of brushed aside or easily sorted out??

Struggling to put it into words but I think it boils down to cc having these cool concepts but just not delivering. One of the reasons the way Elias' death happened in choi was so pointless was because we didn't get to see Cordelia interact much with her father beforehand, it was just an oh no! he's dead! moment for her to feel sad about and cause conflict with James, when it could have really made Cordelia grapple with realisation that her father was not who she thought he was, and had her deal with that face to face. While handled a little better, the lack of mourning for Christopher really just exposes how his death was just there for the sake of it, and there was so much more that could have been explored, and emotions that could have been drawn out if she'd focused on the grief for him??

Other than mentioning that he has experience looking after drunk people because of his dad, and the little bit about not wanting to run away like his father, Alastair as far as I remember didn't really speak about his trauma and seems great by the end and,,, happy for him!! but would have liked to see his traumas talked about a little more and taken a little more seriously by the narrative tbh. Idk, as I write this I'm like maybe I'm being super picky with this one but I guess I will always want more Alastair content lol

Thomas' character is also just a giant example of cc underutilising what she's created, like you've presented this character and set up for him to be a little resentful of the one-dimensional way he's viewed as the kind one. That's so interesting!! Lean further into that and show that that's why he appreciates how Alastair used to speak his mind and stand up for himself at the academy, and use it to inform their relationship and Thomas' own personal growth! She tells us he's grown into himself more at the end but she doesn't fully explore it or show it. Would have liked to have seen more recognition of his talents with language as well but she literally seemed to gift his farsi skills to James lol

Also making everything about Charles' sexuality and having to come out felt really weird, as him wanting to stay in the closet is honestly the only thing I have sympathy for. And Ari and Charles being mentioned to be friends, we were robbed

And also can't believe no mentions of Thomas' tattoo throughout like it just seems a little weird considering there is some build up there of its emotional significance and link to Alastair?? Anyways chot was a good experience but there are just so many things cc seems to have forgot about, sorry for the rambles lol I really should just make my own post

I come across as so negative here lmao I genuinely really enjoyed the book

Managing that many characters, plus their individual relationships, is extremely difficult to pull of, and it's clear that CHOT fell short on many aspects. An easy way to fix the aftermath of Kit's death was just not to kill him! It was so unnecessary! Or at least spare us a few more paragraphs to grieve him properly, ffs.

On paper, I can see why his death (and Elias', as you said) would be impactful. But you can't just have something that big happen without building up to it and giving it a proper conclusion, which neither of them had! With the CHOI deaths specifically, it seemed obvious to be that CC wanted to kill some beloved characters but not any of the main ones. That's why she hit us in the head with the 'Italian Shadowhunter' thing; so we'd create a connection to her, but it didn't work! We barely knew Filomena, and Elias, and that lady who was nice to Thomas! It just doesn't work, and it was such a waste.

No, I totally agree! I don't remember any specific quotes, but it felt like every time Alastair mentioned his past, no one even acknowledged it. I don't expect a whole section where he goes to therapy or anything, but it'd would've been nice to hear Thomas say "you didn't deserve any of that, you're so strong but you shouldn't have had to be, you can rest now" instead of a thousandth Thomastair make out scene.

Thomas was so underutilized! Once again, I understand the whole book couldn't have been focused on him, but Matthew's reaction to him being in love with Alastair felt like such a cop out tbh. And an easy way to solve it would've been not to have Matthew be so bad to Alastair in the first place! He can still deflect his own guilt and hatred onto him, I know that's a part of his character (that was also brushed off), but maybe not treat him like the Devil himself. Thomas' annoyance with being 'the kind one' was completely forgotten, when it could've been one of the best arcs in the series.

Absolutely, yes! It's like CC forgot what her own character was like. Harassing and cornering Alastair? Disrespecting his boundaries? The fucking age gap? Charles' choice to stay closeted was the only thing I respected about him, and yet Clare's vendetta against closeted people continues. It's a pattern and it's not a great one.

And Thomas' tattoo, yeah! CC gave Thomastair way too many things (the tattoo, songwriting, Paris, farsi speaking, Alastair's hair, the list goes on) then realized she couldn't possibly fit it all in one book so she just abandoned most of it. Also, I really wish Thomas would've given Alastair one compliment throughout the book. His inner voice tells him to shut up when he's being cheesy, but I wish he would've let something slip and Alastair would've been glad because cheesy is exactly what he needs, okay! Someone read poetry to that boy!

KJfjskdfjsd I get you, I bitch a lot but it was legitimately the best book in the trilogy. Thank you for the ask!

[eternclstud]

some girls just can't resist my good looks , my style and my charm , my unflinching ability to listen to … taylor swift . ind  &  sel ( low act . ) damon salvatore from the vampire diaries ,   s1 - 2 canon compliant , with some elements from s3 , and others ripped from the books .    will not acklowedge anything past / mid season 3 as canon .  if you hate damon / delena , or can't stand seeing ian's face this is not the blog for you , curate your dash .  18+ blog . damon is a vampire , and a dick , expect blood , gore , and nsfw themes . minors dni  . written by lenny .

hcs + pinterest + playlist

exclusives with : @survivcrsgvilt . this is a sideblog , i follow from @bitmiscuous

some rules under the cut:

i don't wanna go on and on about stuff, so regular rules apply: don't metagame/godmode without permission , be nice , don't harass me for replies .

if u hate damon for x and x reasons thats valid , but i don't intend to soften his characterization to cater to anyone else except for myself . please don't harass me about playing a fictional character . this is a character i write for fun , and while i can acknowledge his behavior would not be okay irl , i am a grown individual who is quite therapized and very capable of dicerning between reality and fiction , i look at tvd through the goggles of entertainment , everyone is fucking everyone and a murder is just another thursday , nobody's very fazed . his fictitious crimes simply do not bother me , i find the character compelling all the same , and if they bother you that's completely fair , but again , not the blog for you .

if u can't tell , i'm pretty trigger free , so triggers will be present on this blog but i'll try to tag the more obvious ones .

i'm completely refusing to accept the 'off switch' in my canon , i'm sorry but i fucking hate that plot device lmao .

anything and any characters post s3 don't exist to my damon , we can still plot , but all the nonsense that happened won't be applicable . this means no stupid sire bond , no siren , no enzo , no lab , no dumb canon about their mom being a vampire god help me ... i think u get the gist . ik about later seasons from friends , but haven't watched from s3 onwards and i have no intention to do so , soooo ... yeah .

english isn't my first language , i'm not super knowledgeable in the us either . i'm doing my best , be patient with me , have a cookie .

i'm stealing some of the more gothic-like elements from early s1 / the book . i think they were dope . there might be mentions of fog / the crow if i feel spicy , i'm not sure how much yet so i'll leave this be .

in othello's words : "i am one who loved not wisely but too well". damon is a complicated dude , he's selfish and cruel and reckless guy , loving and being loved by him is not easy , that doesn't mean he can't love people . he does ... his own way . he loves his brother , and that doesn't stop him from being selfish , and punishing him . he won't let him die , but he won't let him have peace either . he'd take a bullet for him , but he'd also cause him immesurable pain , usually as a consequence of his recklessness , but sometimes intentionally . he loves elena , that does not make him unselfish , or not dangerous to literally everyone around her . and depending on the verse (though i'll argue he'll always carry a torch for her) , damon loves katherine , and it doesn't keep her from idealizing her into something she never was to begin with , being petty and vengeful and mean . he's fueled by love , but that love doesn't always make him kind , and occasionally it makes him crueler . he's a complex dude , and i like writing about it , if this or him make you in any way uncomfortable , please , curate your dash , block me , do what you have to do , no hard feelings . just please don't come for me over a fictional character , thank you .

if i think of anything else i'll add to this <3

[scarletcomet]

Wait if you’re taking computer science classes shouldn’t you be able to find a job as a programer or setting up computer networks for business or schools? Or has capitalism put another pointless barrier up for that too?

I've been applying to software engineer internships, which there are a lot of, especially compared to other fields (can confirm; i was a biomedical engineering major for my first 2 years). however, there are just soooooo many applicants, so it can be difficult to actually get said internship.

i always see people saying stuff about how software engineers make so much money and "how can i make $80k/yr without learning how to code" but like in order to make that kind of money, you have to actually get a job, which can be hard to do.

my school is ranked #15 in the US, so i'm going to come out with a degree that will hopefully allow me to get a good job (in order to get a job right after graduation though i definitely need to get an internship this summer because i will be graduating the next May).

anyways, i know this ask is in response to my post about wishing i were a physics major. like i mentioned above, my dumb ass decided that i wanted to do biomedical engineering. i still find biomedical engineering super fascinating, but it just really isn't for me. however, i did not really realize this until the end of my sophomore year (almost halfway done). i think this is largely because my first year, I was just taking all the prereqs (bio, chemistry, physics (yes all at once with 3 hour labs each my freshman year during peak covid), etc.).

anyways, before i changed my major, i was a biomedical engineering major with minors in computer science and physics. there wasn't really any engineering majors i could finish in my remaining 2 years other than computer science, so that was kinda just the obvious option of new major.

the thing is, i really kinda do not like being a computer science major. the only reason i chose the computer science major over the physics major was because i know that it will be much easier to get a job right out of undergrad with cs degree. (deep inside me i actually really do want to go the physics route and maybe get a phd and do cool research but we're just gonna ignore that).

anyways, capitalism sucks. computer science is known for being like the easiest field to get a high paying job right out of undergrad, but it's still really hard (well at least for me and that one dude on reddit who said he has applied to 600+ internships and hasn't gotten a single interview yet).

i'm sorry for not really answering your question, anon, and just rambling about myself (this is the neurodivergent website though)

tl;dr there's lots of software internships, but there's so many fucking applicants, and you don't ever hear back from 99% of the companies you apply to (and i feel pain applying to all these big companies i hate but don't tell them that. plz hire me)

[undyingsunshine]

Otto as the Sense of Touch

(Spoilers for Psychonauts 2. Just in case :) )

Also before I start I'd like to say sorry if this is just... Super obvious. And kind of a pointless post. But I've been thinking about it for days and I needed to talk about it somewhere HAHA.

Alright so as we all know, in Helmut Fullbear's mind, Otto appears as his sense of Touch.

This originally struck me as a really... interesting choice. After all, Otto is constantly shown to be separated or distant from the rest of the Psychic Seven.

He's always on his own. In the wedding under the stage in Helmut's mind, Otto stands on one side, while the others stand to the other side. In bob's mind, he isn't at the wedding at all. Cassie's mind has him as someone who's full of himself. In Compton's mind, he's one of the judges. All of this adds up to suggest that he doesn't have the best relationship with members of the Psychic Seven, at least during the events of Psychonauts 2, and at the very least, we know that his relationship with Bob in particular might not have been the most peaceful.

In addition, he's the only one who's shown to be happy at the Motherlobe's opening ceremony, and is one of two original members to even remain there. And unlike Compton, he's much more present and active. Heck, this is stretching a little, but they're even on opposite sides of the Motherlobe.

All this distance - especially physical distance - as well as this sort of... "otherness", and yet he's the feeling of touch. A sense that most likely evokes images of closeness. It didn't quite add up.

Then I realised that he's most likely touch because of how he interacts with the mind. He builds machines, physically bringing his thoughts and dreams into reality. He keeps a whole stroage of brains - the physical form of the mind. He seems much more interested in the physical side of Psychonaut research, rather than the more abstract side - which is further enforced by the fact we never see that abstract side of him. We don't enter his mind, and instead we only get to see and interact with him in the physical realm, through tangible objects that he made himself.

He's. Literally got a hands-on approach to researching the mind. It even shows through the way he channels his psychic energy - through a pendant, rather than through his head, like all of the other Psychonauts we see.

Out of all of them, Otto is the one that's most in-touch with himself and the present; in-touch with his emotions, seemingly perfectly able and willing to talk about his emotions and express them, as we see with his gadgets and machines. ("I made that one when I was angry, I made this one when I was sad.")

He's more grounded, and though he does bare the scars from the battle with Maligula, he's not caught up in his own mental world with it, at least, from what we see. He has his regrets - he shows remorse for what happened - but he's also managed to keep moving forward, pushing and pressing on rather than dwell too much in his own mind.

While it's easy to get lost in the other senses - like sights and sounds - touch is often seen as something that tethers us to reality. To hold and to feel offers tangible comfort. This, in my opinion, suits Otto as the more tangible member of the Psychic Seven.

Quite ironic, though, that with all that in mind, it seems Otto had lost touch with the other members some time efore they all completely drifted apart.

[ipuckwithhockey]

Just Ask- N. Patrick

a/n: More Nolan stuff? Yup. I should preface this with the fact that we should all be considerate of all hockeys and their personal lives. They have lives that do not include us and we should respect that. This includes their online accounts whether they are private or public. I say that because this does slightly touch on Nolan’s music taste/interest in music, but there’s nothing specific. Also, lets remember that this is all fiction! We’re just here to have some fun. Anyway, this is a short one, nothing too crazy. Let me know what y’all think!

warnings: drinking, swearing

------

Meeting the Flyers was a byproduct of your friendship with Carly. The two of you have been friends for ages and she introduced you to the boys early into her relationship with Travis. You were able to avoid being the consistent third wheel by finding a comfortable place within Travis’ group of friends. Although Carly and Travis have insisted that they try to set you up with someone on the team, you continually refused, saying that it would be awkward if it didn’t work out. Not to mention the fact that you didn’t think any of the guys were interested.

The lovesick couple bothered you about it for ages, trying to push Beezer and Frosty on you, and then saying that you and Nolan would be “so cute” together. Joel and Morgan were great, you loved them both dearly, but there was no way you were dating either one of them. They were more compatible with each other than with you.

However, the last one you didn’t disagree with. You agreed, and thought that you and Nolan would make an exceptionally cute couple. It takes two to tango though, and Nolan definitely isn’t interested. Nolan has always been friendly and your personalities mesh well enough that you would consider him a good friend. The two of you even hang out by yourselves when TK and Carly cancel on you to do god knows what. You’ll grab food or watch a movie, but he has never made any inclination that he feels anything more than platonic towards you.

Nolan is shy, and dry, yet incredibly funny. He’s blunt and has a few sharp edges to him, but he’s not the fiery time bomb that TK resembles. He’s more reserved, laid back, and you can feel at ease with him because of it. You loved Travis to bits, and he was the perfect match for Carly’s outgoing personality, but you can only handle so much of him.

Take right now for example. You’re standing in the kitchen of a post-win house party, and Travis is incessantly nagging you to go talk to Nolan. The house you’re in is full to the brim with people you’re sure they don’t know and you and Travis are in the kitchen fixing yourselves another round of drinks. From where you’re standing you can see Nolan in the family room towering over a few doe eyed girls who hang on his every word. They are fixated on him, and you think that he could tell them to get on their knees right then and there and they would do it gladly. (You’re not sure you would say no either, so no judgement there.) 

You’ve seen him take girls home from parties and bars, and he’s seen you with your fair share of conquests as well. It doesn’t bother you, and you figure it doesn’t bother Nolan either. Would you mind being the girl he took home? No, not at all, but unfortunately that was a role you would probably never be cast in. Even if you were you wouldn’t want to be one of those other girls anyway. You wanted to be the girl. You wanted to be the girl who made him forget about all the girls before you.

Your silent pining was becoming a little sad, and as much as you hated it, you couldn’t do anything to change how you felt about him. When you first met Nolan, you figured your little crush would soon dissipate, but the opposite ended up occurring. Now you were the sad, lonely, pining girl. You hated being her, but you couldn’t help it. You were totally gone for him.

“Come on, he’s not even listening to whatever those girls are saying to him. And you know he’s been checking you out since you got here.” Travis lays it out simply for you but you’re quick to refute, “Trav, he’s only looking over here because you haven’t stopped staring at him all night. If any two people at this party are into each other it’s you and Nolan, not me and Nolan.”

“What are you guys getting so heated about over here? And why do you keep looking at Nolan like that, Trav?” Carly comes over to tuck herself into Travis’ side as he puts his arm around her. You make a face at Travis as to say, “I told you.”

“He won’t leave me alone about Nolan, thinks I should go over there and interrupt the fan club.” You motion in the direction of where Nolan is still standing in front of his little doe eyed fans.

Carly’s eyes light up, “Oh, he totally checked you out earlier! You should go over there. Scare all those little girls away. They never had a chance anyway,” she explains matter-of-factly.

“Carly! You’re supposed to me on my side, remember?” You look between your friend and her boyfriend, who’s grin is getting bigger and bigger as spreads across his face.

“Look, you can deny it for as long as you like, but he’s totally into you, and you’re totally into him. Travis and I both know it.” Carly and Travis look so satisfied with themselves, that they think they’ve played matchmaker between the two of you, but you’re still not convinced.

“Ok, give me 5 reasons you think he could possibly like me, or that we are somehow compatible, and then maybe I’ll go over there.” You motion back in Nolan’s direction.

Travis is quick to the pitch, “You’re both oddly quiet. Like it kind of freaks me out when I come into the room and it’s just the two of you sitting there on the couch, and you’re not even talking! Sometimes the TV isn’t even on. It’s just silent. Like who even does that?”

This elicits an eye roll from you as you remember the many times Travis has walked in on you and Nolan sitting in a quiet room together, neither of you feeling the need to constantly fill the air with pointless conversation. Travis has never understood it.

“What about how Nolan always gets you drinks when we’re out?” Carly chimes in.  “He doesn’t do that for everyone. Hell, I don’t think he’s ever asked me if I needed another when he’s headed up to the bar.”

You’ve never noticed that he doesn’t ask anyone else when he goes up to the bar. Thinking about it now, it does seem kind of odd. But the two of you will often find yourselves next to each other while you’re stuffed inside a packed bar on any given weekend, and you figure he’s just being nice since you’re usually one of the only single ones there.

“That’s only two, and your reasoning is horrible. He’s just being nice and being introverted is not a crime.” You lean back onto the counter behind you as you cross your arms in front of your chest.  Now you’re facing toward the open room where one of the girls has inched her way closer to Nolan.

“He’s been a lot more excited to go out lately. He always asks if you’re coming. The last time we all went out I gave him a hard time about it. I don’t think his face has ever been that red.” Travis explains. “That’s another one! Whenever you show up or you do that thing that girls do when they’re flirting, you know the one where they touch a guy’s arm when they’re talking, he gets so red. Like tomato red.” Travis isn’t very eloquent in delivery, but you understand what he’s saying. “That’s four, baby.” He reminds you.

“He gets red when anyone talks to him and whenever anyone is brave enough to touch him. And I do not do that flirting thing.”  You look to Carly for reassurance, “Do I?” you ask.  She doesn’t offer the reassurance you were looking for, instead stating, “Oh, you totally do that. Sorry, you’re just not that subtle.”

“Oh my god.” You let your head hang back as you look up to the ceiling, “He probably thinks I’m an idiot or just creepy.” You really didn’t think you were that obvious, but clearly you were wrong. He probably feels bad for you because he knows you’re totally into him. “Well, if that wasn’t enough to deter me from ever speaking to him again, that’s still only four, so I think I’m going to call it a night and head home and then never show my face near Nolan again.” You try to exit the kitchen with the last bit of dignity you have left but Travis is quick to jump in front of you.

“Nope. I have a fifth one.” He’s standing there with is hands on his hips and you’re sure he thinks it makes him look more commanding. You just roll your eyes for what feels like the millionth time tonight.

“Really? You think it’s good enough to get me over there?” You quip back at him as you nod back towards Nolan.

“Oh yeah.” He nods back, “And if it makes you feel better Nolan is super obvious too. Like I said, tomato red.”

“So, are you going to tell me the fifth reason or are you just going to keep me hostage here all night?” Now you’re mimicking his stance with your hands placed firmly on your hips.

“It pains me to admit this one because he doesn’t even let me do this,” Travis sighs. “He lets you have the aux every time you’re in his car. No questions asked, he just lets you play whatever you want. Doesn’t even complain about it!”

You’re processing what Travis is saying. Nolan did always let you choose the music in the car, but you didn’t think anything of it. You probably grabbed the aux without hesitation the first time you hopped in his car. That’s just what you always did with your friends. It never dawned on you that he might not let other people do that too.

It checks out though, Nolan loves his music. It’s important to him, and his perfectly curated playlists are like little works of art for him. You’ve watched him manicure his playlists for hours as he sits on the couch, and admittedly you have similar taste in music. Maybe that’s why he didn’t care? Maybe you just always chose songs that he would have also picked? Although there was that one week where you made him listen to the Frozen soundtrack on repeat. He probably wouldn’t have picked that one…

You don’t have time to decide on why you think Nolan would ever let you get away with something he holds so sacred because he has since left his group of girls and has found his way into the kitchen where you’re still squared off with Travis.

“You guys gonna pull your pistols out soon?” Nolan mumbles an announcement that he has entered the room, and you realize that you’re still stood in front of TK, both of you with your hands on your hips.

“Nope, we were actually just heading out to play pong, we’ll see you guys later!” Travis quickly ushers himself and Carly out of the room, and before you can protest, you’re left alone with Nolan. He’s leaning against the counter opposite to you, and when you move your eyes to rest on his figure you can’t help but do a quick intake of just how good he looks. He’s wearing the same basic outfit that just about every other guy in the house is sporting, and yet it looks so much better on him.

“What was that about? You guys okay?” Nolan asks.

“Uh- Yeah, Trav just being Trav, you know?” You attempt to brush off the topic of what you and Travis were discussing prior to Nolan’s arrival. Similar to those times that Travis was referencing, neither of you feel compelled to fill the air with unneeded dialogue, and you fall into a comfortable silence. Neither of you are saying anything now and Nolan takes the time to twist off the cap to another beer from the fridge.

“I was gonna go out back. It’s too hot in here, wanna come?” Nolan nods his head to the sliding glass door at the other end of the kitchen, and you respond by following him out to the deck. The quietness and crisp winter air that fills your lungs is refreshing. The two of you lean against the railing of the deck and enjoy the break from the chaos inside. You continue in your silence and you can’t help but watch as Nolan takes long drags of his beer, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows.

“Can I ask you a question?” You ask, and without speaking he nods, giving you the go ahead.

“Why don’t you let Travis have the aux?”

Nolan chuckles a bit, “Of all the things you could ask, that’s what you choose?” he retorts before answering, “If you must know, he has horrible taste in music. But also, I don’t let anyone have the aux. My car, my music. It’s the rules,” he states, taking another quick swig of his beer that’s almost empty now.

He confirmed what Travis had said to you, but you’re not convinced. There had to be a catch. He probably never realized that you did it. You’re sure of it.

“But you let me have the aux?” You form the sentence with a question mark on the end, and your eyes follow Nolan as he leans over the railing to look out into the backyard. He’s avoiding meeting your eye, and you can tell he’s thinking, deciding on what he’s about to say.

“Probably ‘cus I can’t say no to you,” the muttered words come out under his breath, like he doesn’t want you to hear it.

“What? What does that mean?” He lets out a huff of air as his hands push is his long hair back out of his face, something he only does when he’s stressed.

His body turns to face you now, “You could literally tell me to jump off a bridge or run through this house naked, and I would probably do it. No questions asked.”

The quizzical look that occupies your face prompts him to continue. He’s frustrated, you can tell, “I just don’t know how to say this without fucking us up as friends…” He starts to pivot away from you again, but you reach out for his arm, stopping him from leaving, “What if I don’t want to be friends?” You’ve chosen to be the bold one now, and if it bit you the ass you were just going to have to live with that, but you can’t help but feel like you’ve both been on the same page all along.

“You don’t want to be friends with me?” Hurt. Confusion. Annoyance. They all flash across Nolan’s face before you can interject again, “I don’t want to be just friends with you. I want to be more than that. I want to be the girl you take home when this party is over, and the girl who gets to wake up next to you every morning after, and even if you don’t want that, you need to know that’s how I feel about yo—“

He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’tt pull you into a heart wrenching kiss, there aren’t fireworks playing behind you. To your surprise, Nolan has chosen to haul you over his shoulder, your arms falling over his back as he walks swiftly back into the house.

“NOLAN! What the fuck!? Put me down!” You yell at him as he continues to carry through the house. The party is so wild by now that you’re sure no one even notices the 6’2 hockey player with a girl over his shoulder.

“Nolan! Seriously. Put me down!” You’re feel like a little toddler who has gotten herself in trouble, and when Nolan finally does place your feet back on the ground, you’re outside next to his car that is parked in front of the house. He sets you down, and you’re slightly dizzy from being swung around like a rag doll, but he steadies you in front of him with his hands on your waist.

“What the fuck was tha—”

He cuts you off again, but this time he isn’t hauling your body into the air. This time his hands are on either side of your face and his lips find yours and there are even metaphorical fireworks going off as you kiss him back. You stand there, pushed against the side of his car, with his hands tangled in your hair, and your tongues exploring each other mouths. When you finally come up for air he pushes back away from you so that he can meet your eye.

“If you wanted to be that girl all you had to do was ask.” A smirk is plastered across his face, and you lightly shove at his chest even though it does little to move his large figure.

You surrender, “Okay, but we have to get an Uber, we’ve both had too much to drive.” You can’t help but grin back at him as he reaches for his phone to order a car for the both of you. When the car arrives, you get in to head back to Nolan’s apartment with your hands wrapped together. “I can’t believe Travis was right,” you say as you let your head rest on Nolan’s shoulder and he turns his head to you with his eyebrow furrowed, “Right about what?”

[ponyguru]

Tonight I watched all of He-Man: Revelations and most of Centaurworld (I watched the first three episodes like, a week ago?) and I have ... opinions. (And it’s 4:37am, might as well share them while they’re fresh!)

(Warning, this got very long and ranty, sorry for stretching out your dashboards if that’s even still a thing anymore?)

He-Man was entertaining, but it did feel like (as someone with like, less than a passing knowledge of the characters) someone’s super-angsty fanfiction more than like ... a continuing series. They killed off multiple well-known, beloved characters, to drive home the point of how SERIOUS and how HARDCORE this series is, and instead it felt like being a little kid in the 80s watching Optimus Prime get murdered to sell more toys. Like, WHY DID THEY DIE? Oh right, to show the viewer how SERIOUS the bad guys are! And to give the other characters things to angst over, to show you they’re no longer just shallow 80s muscle man stereotypes to sell toys! But then you gotta wonder, where will they go from here? Who’s even left to continue the storyline? Is it still He-Man if half the supporting cast is dead?

Like I said, I’m not a He-Man fan by trade, but aside from the pointless murder, it did seem like it delved into the backstories that a lot of people have probably wanted since the 80s, and it made some very interesting points. So, hey, maybe it’ll be beloved by its fans! And it was very entertaining, especially as someone who wasn’t a childhood fan so I didn’t have a lot of nostalgia that I had to watch die. It doesn’t end on a happy note, there’s definitely the ‘what if the villains WON’ theme going, so maybe my opinion will be less dour when the next part comes out. (I did like that it focused more on the female characters, which was a very unexpected change, and in that aspect I felt it was very well written; that could explain why I’ve heard other screechingly negative feedback elsewhere online, heh. He-Man fans probably don’t appreciate the heavy preference paid to Teela.)

Centaurworld was ... well, I watched the first episode with my mother, which was a Huge Fucking Mistake. I heard that it was a thrilling combination of something akin to Adventure Time and a more serious cartoon like Avatar, and instead I got 10 minutes of that, and then 16 minutes of continuous ass, fart, and poop jokes, combined with a couple of great tunes and a lot of tuneless recitative style “songs”.

If you follow this blog, you probably know toys; you know the Poopsie Surprise toys? The ones which were so obsessed with uncomfortably sexualized poop/fart/barf references that entire scholarly articles were written about the sexualization of children with scatology-themed toys? Yeah, that’s what Centaurworld felt like, almost the whole time. Like just ... an uncomfortable amount of poop/butt/fart “jokes”, to the point where it felt like it had to be one of the writer’s fetishes. Like, it was clearly not funny, and the main character is clearly uncomfortable with it ... and it just keeps going.

I say jokes in scare quotes because jokes are supposed to be funny, and a lot of Centaurworld just wasn’t funny. You could tell it was meant to have jokes, but it was very much dated early-2000s type humor, I want to guess? The kind where it’s not so much ‘setup-punchline’ but the more ‘awkward reference awkward reference awkward reference drawn out wooooord’ type of “jokes”. And most of those “jokes” were just - you guessed it - drawn out references to butts, or farts, or some combination of the two. I felt like an aged boomer watching it. I like to think I’m hip and with the times, but it felt like it should be aimed at a middle schooler - but like, an oversexualized middle schooler? It was uncomfortable to say the least. (One character talks to his farts, claims they talk back to him, and he addresses them as ‘Daddy,’ while another character expresses how uncomfortable that is, and implies he has “issues” to unpack. Because that’s hilarious, I guess?)

Centaurworld did, beneath the heavy layer of scatology, have an intriguing storyline. A warhorse from a LOTR-style world is thrown into a wacky Adventure Time-type land made up of silly centaurs, and has to try and find her way back home. It was thrilling at times, if you could slog through everything else that beleaguered it. There were some really good jokes! But I couldn’t quite muster up a laugh, because I was still wondering when the next butt reference would sneak in. After ten terrible jokes, the one good joke couldn’t manage to lift me from the depth of despair I’d sunken into. It really only felt like the show got ‘tolerable’ around episode 7 (out of ten!!!!), which was an episode heavily focused on cats. (Which, again; wasn’t the internet very much about LOLCats in the early 2000s?)

If six episodes of a ten-episode series is nigh-intolerable, is it a successful show? Should you bother watching something that is 60%+ garbage? (And DON’T FUCKING WORRY, the poop/butt/fart jokes continued UNTIL THE FUCKING FINAL EPISODE.)

I suspect that, if there was a “goal” for all of the fetish stuff (beyond fetish stuff for fetish sake), it would be to illustrate to the viewer how uncomfortable the main character feels in this strange new land, and for us to share in her discomfort. Which, fine, sure! Secondhand embarrassment is definitely a trope. But the sheer uncomfortable volume of the poop/butt/fart jokes clearly went way beyond mere discomfort, and veered into ‘why is this coming up so much, is someone getting off on this?’ territory, at least for me. A couple butt jokes an episode, fine, okay. Entire five minute bits devoted to farts and butts? Entire songs about butts? I start questioning why it’s such a beloved subject for you to write about.

Plus, and I may be reading into this too much, but several of the only Black-coded characters felt racist. I’m talking neck-snapping, tribal body paint type racism, although only one got the exaggerated “soul” type music to sing, which I guess is a relative win? (Waterbaby and Judge Jacket, if you’re wondering who I’m referencing. One of them is a literal hippo centaur, giving us shades of Madagascar.) It wasn’t obvious, but combined with everything else, it felt ... bad. (There are multiple other nonwhite voice actors who aren’t stereotypes, so maybe it was just a bad case of ‘trying to represent different culture while being clueless white people’, who knows?) There was also some classic fatphobia, with one of the villains being shown as a fat neckbeard collector/nerd. Wasn’t that relevant in - wait for it - the early 2000s? They redeem themselves very slightly by having maybe two other characters who are visibly fat, but one of them is also viewed as an antagonist.

Anyway, I was disappointed enough with the show to feel like I should say something, so - there it is. Centaurworld did have some good moments, some lovely songs, and there was some really heartwarming and tender character development that I liked, sandwiched between huge swaths of discomfort. There might be a season 2 (there shouldn’t be, LOL) and hell, I will probably suffer through it because I want to see what happens to them. But I can’t recommend that anyone else do the same, in all good conscience. It’s not good. It’s just not. But if you have 5 hours to kill, there’s worse stuff out there?

If you want to watch one episode to see the best of the series, I recommend episode seven, “Johnny Teatime's Be Best Competition: A Quest for the Sash.” It’s themed after the CATS musical, and the extended number at the end gave me shades of MLP or Fashion Star Fillies. (I found an official clip of the song posted here.) There’s also other lovely songs in the series, but you’d have to suffer through entire bad episodes to see them. The lovely “You’re Okay” shows up in the very first episode, so if you’re curious give that a watch... just be aware it never gets better, only worse.

This series genuinely upset me, because I wanted it to be something much better, and there were glimpses of it; you just had to try and close your eyes to the obsession with butts and farting to see pieces of what it might have been.

One notable fact that I thought was kind of like ‘wow, oof’ was that Meghan McCarthy, of MLP:FiM fame, was a story editor for Centaurworld. And considering how MLP went downhill in later seasons, I gotta say I’m wondering if there’s a commonality there. Maybe her fetish is bad writing? There’s worse fetishes to have, AS CENTAURWORLD CLEARLY DEMONSTRATES.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Thank you for your informative posts. You both always do so well. I'd love to hear your thoughts about BTS carsharing. I don't personally agree, but some fans think of it as "absolute proof" that their ship is real or much more closer compared to others.

Admin 1: I’ll go first since, once again, I have less to say about this topic. I’ve been ARMY for years and up until perhaps halfway through 2020 when I noticed shippers using the “driving together” argument as irrefutable proof and holding onto it like their lives depend on it, I never paid any attention at all to which member shared a car with whom. Yes, I do know about that time vmin arrived at the airport together with Yeontan and that was super adorable, but did I think that was proof of vmin being real? No. That thought didn’t even cross my mind. And it still doesn’t.

Those cars are their company cars, meaning the ones they take during work. Those are not their private cars which they take during their private time. If they were, then I’d be inclined to discuss if two members always sharing a car might mean something (though even then not necessarily romance wise), but as long as they are company cars with a company driver and at least one manager present inside taking them from schedule to schedule, often times who goes with who being decided by their security team based on surely a plethora of factors we know nothing about, I couldn’t care less who drives with who because, in my opinion, it doesn’t mean anything in connection to ships, true relationships and how close any of the members are with each other, or (even less about possible) romances within the group.

And yes, I would say the same thing if vmin would always drive together. Or if namjin would.

My counter question, actually, would be if the same people who argue that “this proves my ship is real because they always drive together” would think the same thing if instead vmin always drove together? Or do these rules, as always, only apply to their ship exclusively? It wouldn’t be the first time their hypocrisy and double standards would be glaringly obvious within such arguments, which is why I find them rather pointless.

Admin 2: I’ll admit that I look around different sns since I like knowing things, not only about BTS but in general, even politics. I’ll also admit that I sometimes do what a true fan shouldn’t do and watch things from sources (never, ever sasa/engs) we shouldn’t pay attention to on YT (even though Admin 1 tells me I shouldn’t do it). Based on that I’ve noticed how oftentimes the maknaes will leave a building or place and be directed by their security team where they should go, instead of them deciding that they will share cars because of their own ideas or friendships. It seems like it oftentimes simply isn’t their choice to make, but their managers and security team. 

In previous years when we usually only saw them arrive at airports and award shows, the constellations of who drove with who were much different than they are now that BTS are “stuck” in Korea due to the pandemic. Often JK arrived at the airport with Hobi (or any of the other hyungs), while Jimin and Tae came together. Not always, since Jimin sometimes arrived with Namjoon, but often enough, and they’d sometimes even arrive late.

My opinion is that JK and Jimin nowadays drive together simply on the sole basis that they work closely together, they are the lead and main vocals after all and share dance parts with each other as well, and if people want to describe it as “them being closest together” then yes, I agree, but only when it comes to their work. Which is also why they drive a car together from schedule to schedule.

Let’s remember their pas de deux for Black Swan at MMA (which was magnificent). It’s the best kind of example for why they share a car since they simply have similar schedules. Just learning that pas de deux to be able to dance it so gracefully and beautifully on water no less, takes an enormous amount of time and practice.

Even from a more safety angle, it’s safer for those two to be in one car. Compared to the hyung line, the maknaes are far more “under threat” due to the sheer obsession some people have when it comes to these three and when obsession is involved, people can be unpredictable. By putting at least two out of three maknaes into the same car, their security team has it easier to keep a close eye on them and keep them safe.

Also seeing as Tae has been working on his mixtape for the better part of 2020, it makes complete sense that his schedule would be a little different than the others and by taking a car on his own, it gave him the flexibility of going to the BH building whenever he wanted to between other schedules and get in time for working on music without dragging along another member who’d want to do something else in that time, or have other obligations to attend to.

Often we see Jin and Yoongi in a car, or Yoongi and Hobi, and Namjoon being on his own or with Hobi, and none of that seems to be influenced by their personal bonds and relationships either, but rather their work related obligations and schedules.

We should keep in mind that BH isn’t a romance agency, but a company for idols, music and business, so BH doesn’t in that moment care about their personal feelings for each other, but simply goes by more business and schedule related reasonings. The only time in which I could believe that BH also follows some kind of agenda (and this is only my opinion, not fact) is when the members appear at some kind of event or place where they know people will see them exit their cars.

We don’t know anything about how any of the car sharing looks like on a daily basis, what their schedules are like, or even if the company cars pick them up at home or if the members meet up at the BH building and go from there. We simply don’t know. The only thing that is certain is that if they arrive at an award show already dressed accordingly, it’s only reasonable that they went from and will return to the agency to change back into their own clothes before going home.

JK likes driving his car, we know as much, so who’s to say that he doesn’t arrive at BH building in the morning leaving his car parked in the underground car park. Or if Yoongi or Jin or Hobi do the same thing. We also know that sometimes Namjoon used to take his bicycle to the BH building, or a time when Seokjin said he did the same and halfway there passed someone who greeted him though in the moment he had no idea who it was and later it turned out it was Yoongi on his bicycle returning from the BH building. As vminnies we should remember what Jimin said, that due to their differences in schedules Jimin and Tae weren’t even able to record any of Friends together, which is why they left those messages in the blank moment of the song behind for each other. Remember that vlive that Jimin and JK did making gimbap? On a weekend? Tae said he was at the BH building since the morning working on his music, which again shows how different their schedules on a day to day basis are.

When it comes to the “popular” opinion that’s being spread across all sns about “two members driving together must mean they are super close/are a couple”, I disagree with that. Sometimes when I look at those comments and the things they are implying, I actually kind of feel a little sorry for JK. It seems like those who push their agendas involving him don’t “allow” him any private life with his own thoughts and wants, but merely see him as this pawn that’s supposed to act just the way they want him to and as attachment for one or the other ship. They don’t “allow” him any time for himself, any time to recover and relax after a day of hard work, but just see him as part of their ship that always has to be together, that’s basically fused together at the hip and sees no other reason for anything they do other than being together (some even claiming that they do naughty things in the company cars on top of everything else). It’s almost like some don’t see him as his own person, which just is plain wrong.

Why doesn’t the same also apply to Jin and Yoongi, who oftentimes also share a car? Why do people accept and see it as obvious that Yoongi also needs some time on his own or to spend it with different members doing different things, or just being in his studio doing something for hours without anyone around? Why do people respect that and not immediately conclude that he’s “moved away” emotionally from the group like they so often imply with a certain maknae?

One observation I’d like to share, which shows that sharing a car doesn’t have to mean anything at all, would be the time after Bang Bang Con. The members left the building one after the other, and sure, JK and Jimin went together, after JK was directed toward the car Jimin was in by their security staff, but the interesting part is this: Jimin was the only member that left the building without a bag or purse or anything. Meanwhile Tae left with two, one of them looking like his own and the other like a bag that clearly belonged to Jimin. Both bags left with him. Or the time when they had their KBS interview where they arrived in one constellation yet left in a different one where Tae, Jimin, JK and Hobi shared a van even though they hadn’t done so upon arrival.

Both these instances, and many others, show us that their car sharing arrangements simply don’t mean a thing, in my opinion. 

If you’ve ever worked in a team or been part of a sport team or even a dance team, you know that you develop an entirely different level of closeness, especially as dancers where physical closeness is oftentimes key to certain choreographies and poses. But this closeness in conjunction to work is something entirely different from the type of closeness a couple has and can’t even be compared to it. Just look at figure skating pairs where the guys lift the girls into crazy poses while holding them by their butts or thighs and they have no issue with such closeness, which you might assume could mean they are also actual couples, but the thing is that most pair skaters are not. Most of them have other partners or marriages because that closeness to a romantic partner is entirely different from your skating partner, even if they are your closest friend.

Vmin don’t share cars, and yet at the end of the day Tae still texts Jimin that he’s too lazy to move and that instead Jimin should come sleep next to him.

[appleflavoredkitkats]

i feel like tftsmp has so much potential to be more enjoyable than it is bc we want to see cc’s that we like interact with other cc’s that we don’t get to see them interact with as much. if there was a smaller cast that allowed cc’s to talk to each other rather than a focus on a huge build and events that take place there, i feel like that would be more compelling to watch. that’s why i think i personally like the lost city of mizu so much. there was a reason for them to be touring the whole build and have it specifically be treated as a tour and for a majority of the ep, everyone was there and everyone got to interact and talk with each other. there was still an end goal in mind, but imo at least it didn’t feel as much like it was dragging bc of the interactions we got. (i could be viewing this through rose colored glasses since it’s been a While since i watched this, but my point stays the same lmao)

also!! i think another reason tftsmp falls sort of flat for me is because the characters the cc’s play aren’t really,,,, compelling. like. they’re boring. especially recently, they don’t get to talk enough to have specific character traits and stuff, so it just reads like it’s the cc but toned down and with a different name. there are a few exceptions to this, mostly in past eps, but most notable to me is technoblade, actually. his characters are almost always my favorites because they’re super obvious caricatures that play off a part of his actual personality or branding (royalty/being super rich but with no nuance, being good at fighting but also being lazy, not being good at talking to people/standing up for himself but with no other traits to balance it out, that kind of thing). they’re memorable, and they’re fun to watch. i think it also helps that twice he’s been like. the “leader” of sorts and not a part of the supporting cast which does give him more room to do what he wants

sO. i guess basically, what i want is smaller casts for each tftsmp with varied cc’s that allows them to interact more, less emphasis on the builds and more emphasis on the interactions and their reasons for being there, and more concrete characters that aren’t just more bland versions of the cc or the cc essentially saying “im x” a few times and calling it a day (i absolutely adore him but i’m so sorry punz i’m looking at you and your “i’m a jock” thing from the haunted mansion 😭). all in all tho, i think there’s so much potential, karl just has to look at what people actually enjoy about tftsmp and focus way more on that (and yeah it’s really,,, not the builds that we look forward to, sorry karl fjdksks)

ALL THIS! SUPER AGREED. i can’t say much more than what i’ve said in previous posts, but you really hit the nail on the mark with this one. it’s definitely the cc’s we get interested in, but because of the sheer quantity of cc’s per episode, there’s not even any room for interaction. the pit, easily, is one of the worst episodes, and if not, the worst, because even if they had good characters, there was never really any time they got to showcase themselves outside of a pointless battle. the gold in tftsmp always comes in with the interactions, so seeing characters just. stay silent for the entire thing is just very painful to watch because we’re BEGGING for more. each world in each episode will be a one-time experience because tftsmp is an anthology where the worlds don’t get revissited, so if they make characters, they HAVE to bring out the best of them or else us viewers would feel like we’re left hanging.

the best characters too in my opinion are like, what you said, techno’s. he’s fully committed to his bits, and he’s also quite funny as them as well! i think fundy and quackity also get props for their characters because they are immensely hilarious as well, and ranboo gets props too because he’s good at improv in general. ranboo i think is amazing because he’s really good at the “yes and” aspect of improv wherein he can easily bounce back in conversations. i do think other cc’s are like these cc’s as well, but they only get to shine in smaller casts, like you said.

[monstersandmaw]

Male orc x female reader (light nsfw) - Patreon tier reward

Edit which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.

tw: menstruation is mentioned - just putting this first in case anyone isn't comfortable with that.

This was a really fun tier reward prompt from a patron who wanted a couple of things, namely a big buff orc who was impressed at how much the female reader could lift at the gym, who bench presses her at one point, and who is also amazed that those who lose so much blood once a month and can still be super badass (and horny). It’s been up on my Patreon for almost a week now, so here it is for Tumblr folks.

Wordcount: 1910

Hope you enjoy!

You would remember the first time you saw him in the gym for the rest of your days.

He and two of his mates were crossing from the main staircase of the upper-level gym, making their way over to the weights section, and you had honestly never seen such personifications of perfection in your entire life. The three orcs were all pretty huge, but the one at the front who was laughing the loudest and had the biggest tusks - a double set, no less - was just beyond attractive. Probably every eye in the gym was trained on him in that moment.

Long, shiny, dark hair hung down his back in a thick braid, studded with beads and charms of all kinds and colours, and one or two shorter sections fell forwards into warm, dark brown eyes that glittered as he shared a good-natured joke with his buddies. The second was slightly smaller in stature, and had the most incredible arms you’d probably ever seen, shown off to excellent advantage by the sleeveless muscle shirt he wore. He moved between the other two and he was in a manual wheelchair, and the way his arms looked as he propelled himself forwards was almost enough to make you drop the bar you were currently holding halfway towards another dead-lift, the last in that set. The third strode beside her friends, every bit as muscular and beautiful as they were, with long, red-tipped hair tied back in a ponytail to reveal her thick but pointed orcish ears, decorated with studs and rings.

How you had not seen them here before, you weren’t sure, but you assumed they’d just joined up. They certainly weren’t regulars at this time of day anyway.

Just as the largest of them came round to the weights section, he caught sight of you working out and raised an eyebrow slightly. You could have sworn that his lips silently formed the word ‘damn’ when he saw you dead-lifting what happened to be a P.B. for you, and you honestly did try not to preen. His friend looked up at him and elbowed him in the side as he pushed past, heading towards the benches with the female orc. As they went one way, he decided to head towards the stack of bars against the wall near you, and the female yelled over at him, “Oi, Kal - try not to strain something, yeah?”

He just shook his head in a gently affectionate gesture and grinned before turning to you, seeing that you were still using the weight plates and bars. “You mind if I join you?” he asked politely. The way he was almost meek with his question was at complete odds with his physical appearance, and you didn’t mind his company in the least.

“Not at all,” you said. “I’m almost done.” Then you saw the colossal 50kg dumbbell which the minotaur, who had been using the space before you, had left out, and you grinned playfully at him. “Hey, you think you could help me out?”

Kal froze and turned to look at you, somewhat hopeful, it seemed. His eyes were the colour of chocolate, and they crinkled kindly when he smiled. “Sure,” he said. “What do you need?”

Without breaking the rhythm of your last set of reps, you jutted your chin towards the offending pair of dumbbells and said, “Would you mind moving those out of the way? The last person to use them didn’t put them back and I’m not sure I can lift them…”

He pointedly eyed the weights at the end of the bar that you currently had resting on your shoulders, and then chuckled. “Yeah, sure.” And with an oh-so-easy bicep curl, he picked one up in each hand and set them back on the bottom most rung of the rack near the wall. “Listen, don’t suppose you need someone to spot for you?” he asked.

And it had gone from there to him asking you out on a date, and from a few dates to six months’ worth of bliss. Kalar - Kal to his friends - was a huge barrel of laughs. Unlike many of his kind, he was slow to anger and found almost everything funny, to the point where you spent one evening both doubled over on the sofa laughing so hard that you actually skipped workout the next day, claiming that your abs had had enough of a workout for a week.

People who saw the two of you together - particularly his orcish friends and family - didn’t always get how you two were a couple. Sure, humans and orcs mixed, but it wasn’t until Kal proudly told them what your latest personal best was at the gym that they looked at you in a new light. While it was nice to be accepted, the fact that it came initially from your apparently impressive - for a human - ability to lift weights pissed you off something royal, and when Kal asked you about it, you said, “Would you still feel the same way about me if I couldn’t lift at all?”

The horror that immediately flooded into his warm brown eyes reassured you and he pulled you tight into a hug and stroked your hair, more to calm himself down than to appease you. “Of course I would. I’m sorry…”

With a cheeky grin, you smacked his abs with the back of your hand and said, “I expect you to bench twice what you normally do on Monday to make up for it though…”

Kal, never one to back down from a challenge, accepted that immediately, and, because he was a huge dork, he had his own way of doing things. Leaving you a bit puzzled, he got his friend, Kitrik, to start videoing, and then he unceremoniously handed you a 15kg weight plate and said, “Hold this.”

“Kal, what are you -?” you began before he just scooped you up in his arms and barked, “Hold a plank, babe.”

“Are you fucking shoulder pressing me?” you squawked as he did indeed begin to shoulder press you while you did your best to keep your body in a straight line whilst holding a weight plate to your chest.

He didn’t keep it up for long in case he put a strain on your back, but by the time he’d done a decent number of reps and had lowered you to the ground, everyone in the gym was staring and he was giggling like a five year old. He nuzzled your neck affectionately and said, “I love you.”

That was the first time he’d said it, and he never let an opportunity pass him by without saying it after that.

Just a year into your relationship, you moved in together. It took a while to find a place that suited both of you, but when you did, he declared that this one was perfect, and you had to agree with him, honestly. It had wide open spaces and a gorgeous kitchen, and the view from the bedroom looked out over a quiet section of the river below.

Perhaps a couple of weeks into sharing the same space, you had your first major argument. It was over something small and stupid, and it blew up into a big deal, leaving you fuming and emotional, and him sullen and angry. It didn’t help that you were on your period, and yes, to hell with the stereotypes, you did tend to feel emotions a little more deeply at that time of the month.

Unable to bear the tension between you, you came back into the house after taking a short walk along the canal bank to find him unloading laundry into the washer from the basket. You’d agreed to do it this week, but instead of picking another pointless squabble over it, you just stepped over and silently started helping out. He looked down at you, and as he did, he caught sight of the period blood stains - largely washed out now - on your underwear, and his dark green skin blanched.

“What?” you asked, partly amused and partly a little concerned.

“I… Uh… I don’t have any sisters, so… I didn’t… uh…”

You scowled, following his gaze. “Oh!” you snorted. “Yeah, my tampon leaked. Sucks, but it happens sometimes.”

“That’s… after you have a tampon on?” he asked, clearly horrified. The fabric wasn’t bloody anymore, and the remnants would rinse out easily enough in the wash, so it was more amusing than anything to see his obvious shock.

“Mmhmm,” you hummed cheerily, stuffing them into the washer and grabbing the next few shirts. “It’s no big deal.”

He blinked, but didn’t seem to believe that that could be normal.

“I’m probably going to hit the gym later,” you added, just to see how he’d react. Given that the argument was quickly fading into the distance like a passing storm, you added, “I could use someone to spot for me, if you wanted to come along.”

Kal went still again and tilted his head slightly, making a tiny, choked sound in his throat. The movement of his head made his lovely hair swing forwards over one colossal shoulder. “You’re still going to work out?”

“Why wouldn’t I? Actually, moving around helps a bit,” you said, turning to face him. “Not gonna lie though, some months I do just curl up on the sofa or in a hot bath, but it’s not so bad this time. How is this the first time this has come up?” you added incredulously. You’d been around him on your period before.

Instead of responding, Kal’s eyes widened even more and he looked a bit awestruck.

“Kal?” you asked, stretching up and putting your hand on his cheek and stroking his cheekbone with your thumb. “You ok? Is this about the fight? I’m sorry I blew up earlier. I didn’t really mean what I said.”

“It’s not that,” he breathed. “And I didn’t mean it either. No… You’re… You’re amazing.”

That took you a bit by surprise. “What?” you snorted.

Slightly slack jawed, he put his hands on your waist and kissed the top of your head. “I guess I’ve never thought about how much blood you lose once a month. The fact that you still want to work out as well…” he couldn’t quite finish, just shaking his head in awe.

“Is this an orcish thing?” you asked sceptically, leaning back while still letting him keep a hold of your hips. “Like… you know, ‘fighting on despite your terrible battle wounds’…?”

He blinked and laughed softly. “Maybe? I just think you’re really tough. Anyone who goes through that and can still function…”

You rolled your eyes and blurted, “It’s just biology. Come on, let’s go work up and make out.” You bit your lip the instant the slip fell out of your mouth. “I mean… work out and make up.”

Kal - still with his hands on your hips - ran his thumbs slowly over your lower stomach and you couldn’t help the groan that escaped you, your eyes rolling closed.

“You’re worked up already?” he asked breathily.

Licking your lips, you said, “Ok, fine… it’s one of the better side effects of all this very orcish blood and gore… yeah.”

He bit his own lip and his eyes flared bright. Nodding once, he bent to kiss you. “Let’s go work up and make out then,” he said.

—

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[pinkkunt-imagines]

OMG! My first request! I’m so excited! Now to me, there’s two types of Guts. Pre-Eclipse and Post-Eclipse. I went with Post-Eclipse for this one. Also, wasn’t too sure what draft meant, but I assumed a headcanon? Hope you enjoy!

Post-Eclipse Guts

SFW

♡For obvious reasons, you’ll find that Guts is super overprotective of you. At first you thought it was cute. But now it’s kind of annoying. He watches you sleep. You can’t go anywhere out of his sight. Peeing? He’s there. Bathing? He’s there. All he cares about is protecting you and traveling quickly to Griffith.

♡You always tell him you can handle yourself, and that you’re not a kid. But he doesn’t listen. Thus, leading to pointless arguments about wanting to have more freedom. Guts doesn’t want to hear you nor argue. He gives you a deep heated kiss to shut you up. And like a trained woman, you huff and do.

♡He still caresses your hair and cheeks. It soothes him. Sort of reminding him of more peaceful days.

♡He’s not really up for talking. Most conversations will just be small talk. Him constantly asking if you’re okay or if you need anything. Other than that the two of you will likely be in silence. You don’t mind, you know he’s going through a lot and just enjoy his company.

♡Regardless of if you two met before the eclipse or after, he doesn’t want to talk about it. He’s not open about it at all. It makes him tense and angry just thinking about the whole thing. He’s yelled at you before about not bringing it up, and cut down a tree in the process when you kept pestering.

♡Guts is extremely jealous; no one can even look your way without him going off. You always have to beg him and attempt to pry him off someone just because they did a catcall or attempted to talk to you.

♡Even with his grump master flex attitude, he still has room for affection. On a good day, he’ll hold your hand while you two travel. Is that a faint smile you see? He enjoys your warmth and smell, and likes having you close to him.

♡“Come here..” he grunts while pulling you into his lap.

♡Ultimately, he wants to see you smile, he wants to make you happy, but he just can’t right now and he feels like shit for it. He promises that when this is all over you two will settle down.

NSFW

♡He's stressed. He's angry. Freaking demons are coming out to kill him every damn night. Plus he has the burden of keeping you safe, not that he minds. Sex is a stress reliever for him. And he needs it a lot.

♡Sex will most likely be angry aggressive passionate sex. He wants you. He craves you. There's a strong need to just have you.

♡He'll hold you up against a tree, rough bark scraping against your back and head slamming back onto it, and fuck the life out of you.

♡Don't let him see you bare. That opens up new doors for him. He literally cannot help himself. And now look, you're on the floor, pinned down with his tongue overpowering yours. Mouth eager, sucking and licking whatever flesh it comes to contact with.

♡He's not opposed to biting. In fact, you have hickeys and bite marks all over you. Definitely on the more painful side of biting when he’s really into it, deep bleeding bite mark.

♡He’s a breast man for sure. Loves to see your tits bounce while he’s doing you or to just smother his face in them. He’s too preoccupied with your breasts to hear you moaning and crying out his name.

♡Choking? Did I mention that? Sometimes, more than not, he ends up choking you until you’re on the brink of passing out. (And sometimes you do.) You enjoy it. Something about being on the brink of possible death makes you cum harder. Not to mention the intense look he’s giving you while he’s fucking you through your breathless orgasm.

♡You're always so sore after. Poor you, he's relentless. And so many marks and bruises after the whole ordeal. 

♡”Sorry.” Is all he mutters after when he knows he’s been overly rough with you.

♡Post-Eclipse Guts is strictly dom. Even when you’re on top, his hands are at your hips, slamming you down hard on his dick. Overwhelming you with his powerful upward thrusts.

♡On the topic of jealously, hes going to want to fuck his brand into you, after seeing someone get at you or touch you. It's his form of letting you and them know, you're all his.

♡Guts’s orgasms are extremely intense. He doesn’t need to tell you he’s cumming for you to know. His grip on your thighs get tighter; his grunts are more guttural, and his thrusts are slower but harsh. He of course, finishes inside. He’s pretty worn out and tired. And so are you! You’re both panting messes.

♡After, Guts will want to hold you and cuddle by the fire. Holding his head up and spooning your figure from behind, he strokes your calm face to sleep.

[preservationandruin]

Rhythm of War Liveblog, Part One Part 2 (Chapters 3-8)

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[to the tune of Things I Bought At Sheetz] Now It’s time for Notes I Took At Work. This is going to be a weird experiment, because I read these chapters while at my job and took extensive notes on my reactions, which I’m now going to try to condense into something coherent. 

Navani revels in a successful invention, Shallan encounters a very bad cult, I quote--of all things--Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, A Certain Fucker reappears, Leshwi becomes a character I like, Shallan finds a journal, I digress on Renarin’s abilities, and everyone is rightfully worried about Kaladin. Content warning; discussion of suicide and suicidal tendencies

Alright, we open Chapter Three with Navani’s AIRSHIP, which is a kickass sentence. She’s leaning over the side of the ship, to the distress of one of her fellow scholars who attempts to appeal to Dalinar to get her to stop. 

“It’s Navani’s ship, Velat,” Dalinar said from behind, his voice as steady as steel, as immutable as mathematics. She loved his voice. “I think she’d have me thrown off if I tried to prevent her from enjoying this moment.” 

This is great both because Dalinar and Navani are great, but also as a contrast to Gavilar saying that Navani doesn’t accomplish anything herself, she just pretends to be an inventor and stays behind other, smarter people. Dalinar says no, this is Navani’s ship, this is her victory. The ship’s base design is one of the chasm bridges; it’s operated on the same principles as spanreeds, a kind of sympathetic link where you link two fabrials and whatever happens to one, happens to the other. Just augmented with aluminum and a LOT of pulleys and hard work. 

My notes also say “Eat Shit Gavilar” which i think is just, a general note. 

Anyway she also wishes that Elhokar was there because he loved being up high and also watching her draw...so now I’m feeling emotions, and if that wasn’t enough, I get hit in the feelings again because the name of the ship is the Fourth Bridge, after Bridge Four because of the time they saved Dalinar and Adolin at the tower, and it not only has the Bridge Four glyph inlaid but the original bridge inlaid. 

We see Dalinar and Lirin interact (my notes call this a “Dad convention”) --Lirin, of course because he’s Kaladin’s father, doesn’t really defer to Dalinar at all but does see the potential of this platform as a movable hospital; he’s discomfited by the reminder that Edgedancers are usually used for that now. Lirin really is a practical man who doesn’t believe in heroes or hero stories, which is unfortunate because they’re coming to life all around him. Also Dalinar calls him Lirin Stormblessed which is pretty funny because Lirin is Not Having It. 

Also, we get this great line from Navani about Lirin and Kaladin: 

However, as she stepped up beside Dalinar, she caught Lirin’s eyes--and the familial connection became more obvious. That same quiet intensity, that same faintly judgmental gaze that seemed to know too much about you. In that moment she saw two men with the same soul, for all their physical differences. 

This is really interesting in light of how Kaladin and Lirin are at the moment arguing; they both are at their core very driven, caring people who want the best for their community, but they are at odds for the best way to achieve that in part because they’ve had such different experiences; Kaladin’s life hasn’t let him be the surgeon Lirin is. 

For more changes in the year since we last met these characters, Dalinar has learned how to recharge stormlight and open perpendicularities at will, which essentially makes him a portable battery for the Radiants. That’s super useful. Navani likes observing the process, hoping that somewhere in it is a key to how Urithiru functions; she knows that it used to be powered by the Sibling, the third god-spren of Roshar, but after the Recreance the Sibling either died or fell so asleep the spren treat it as having died. 

That’s interesting; the Sibling has been something I’ve been wondering about a lot, and confirmation that it was tied to Urithiru seems to preclude it being a godspren of Odium like I’d thought for a bit (and in any case, Odium has the Unmade and doesn’t seem the time to fragment himself into a godspren). Another spren of Honor or Cultivation? Or perhaps a spren of both? More importantly, if it really is dead, is there still a way to revive Urithiru? Last book talked about possibly recruiting Sja-anat; if we do, could she serve as an alternate power source for the tower? 

We also get the Mink, the Herdazian general, slipping up on Dalinar and Navani without them noticing and also calling Dalinar the fuck out for the many atrocities that his armies and nation had unleashed on the Herdazians, which Dalinar can’t really refute. I like this guy, honestly; I’m not sure what’s up with him, if he’s just really good at sneaking around or if he has something Up With Him, but I like him. 

Back with the Three (Shallan/Radiant/Veil), they wake up to find themselves in the chasms with an EXTREMELY melodramatic cult. They’re looking for proof Ialai is now running the Hypocrites Association--sorry, the Sons of Honor; Radiant refuses to move against Ialai without proof, even though Shallan and Veil both kinda wish Adolin had killed her at the same time as Sadeas and saved everyone some trouble. Anyway, the Hypocrites association wear deep, fancy hoods that leads to a great Shallan thought: 

Shallan had a fleeting thought, wondering at the seamstress they’d hired to do all this work. What had they told her? “Yes, we want twenty identical, mysterious robes, sewn with ancient arcane symbols. They’re for...parties.” 

They claim both to have guided the return of the Radiants and to be overthrowing Dalinar, which is hilarious because Dalinar is a Radiant so the only real extrapolation here is that, in the fantasy where they’re right about any of this, they brought the radiants back and lost control of the situation immediately and now are recruiting random strangers to try to help rein it back in. Which is still not a good look. 

Oh and also they claim to be “something greater” than the Radiants, and I really doubt they’re the Heralds, so everything they say is horseshit, as is proven a second later when they test if Shallan is wearing an illusion with a device she herself sold them at an exorbitant price. And then claiming that Radiants can’t tell untrue oaths, right in front of Shallan, who is bonded to a liespren. 

They’re just a very bad cult. 

Also they say Ialai is the true queen, which raises many questions to me about the line of succession that gives them THAT math, especially with Gavinor alive and there. Like, somehow Sadeas’s widow gets priority over the last king’s living child? I know they’re just a stupid cult but guys, that’s not how lines of succession work in monarchies. 

Anyway, Shallan hears them say that they have a mole in Dalinar’s inner circle--bad--and goes off-script, taking control to say she’s not who they think she is, and we cut back to Kaladin for the next chapter, which is called Broken Spears which prompted my note of “I don’t trust like that.” And then instantly I started laughing because of this quote: 

[The windrunners] hung in the air like no skyeel ever could: motionless, equidistant.

This is not a particularly funny line unless you, like me, have never been able to forget a line from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy: 

“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.”

So there’s that. 

Kaladin has apparently fought with Leshwi before at this point (she is, iirc, the Fused who was one of the main points of contact for Moash during his arc in Oathbringer); last time, Rock’s daughter Cord managed to shoot her down. The Windrunners, like the Edgedancers, have grown in number; there are about 50 knights, now, and five times that in squires; the problem is that there aren’t enough willing honorspren to bond. Kaladin mentions that “almost all” of Bridge Four had bonded honorspren and that he knew one honorspren who was willing but unbonded, all of which leads me to believe that Rock hasn’t sworn the Oaths yet. 

Meanwhile, these Fused--the Heavenly Ones--prefer one on one battles, as Kaladin noted in earlier chapters, so the Windrunners do the same; as long as they do this, the Heavenly Ones will keep to the ideals of honorable combat and will not gang up on the Windrunners. Again, it shows that they are both the orders that deal with Honorspren, even if the Heavenly Ones deal with...void-honorspren, I guess. 

Also, it’s another nod to the idea of if there can be such a thing as honorable combat in a war. Both the Heavenly Ones and the Windrunners are trying for it, clearly, but is that sustainable? 

Leshwi is in fact there, with a very cool aluminum-edged sword that can absorb stormlight into a gem at the hilt. She, along with the rest of the Fused and apparently the Heralds (Shalash and Taln are both in Urithiru), are stunned by the Fourth Bridge; fuck yeah, Navani and her team. She’s so cool, guys, I love Navani. Also, everyone is worried about Kaladin. 

Shallan, meanwhile, is ad-libbing having even more information, which leads to a hilarious moment of her being accused of treason by a member of the cult who are trying to overthrow the current queen, so...there’s a reason I’m calling them the Hypocrites Association, alright? Anyway, Adolin decides it’s time to attack, and Radiant and Shallan manage to bluff their way into being taken along to the hideout as the Hypocrites Association retreats. 

With Kaladin again, we get that the Fused see him as a particular challenge they enjoy fighting, although Leshwi always has first dibs; he fights another Fused and manages to disarm him, but decides not to kill him because killing him is pointless. Also, the teleporting fucker comes back, and yes, that is what I’m calling him until further notice. 

Something happened in Aimia that led to Cord getting a set of shardplate. Is this the Dawnshard novel? Is that what happened in Aimia? I’m going to read it next regardless but now I’m curious about what happened on the Radiant expedition to Aimia. 

So it turns out that the Hypocrites Association has a secret passage into and out of the chasms with a hidden door, which was probably a bolthole for escape that Sadeas put in early during the war at the Shattered Plains. His keep is also noted by Veil to be fortresslike; she notes that he was a cunning man, not just the blowhard that Shallan had taken him for. Ialai is now the sole remaining leader of the dissident Alethi army; while Radiant wants evidence against her that can have her be taken in, Veil is here just to assassinate her and have done with it. 

And honestly there is a nice symmetry in Adolin killing Sadeas and Shallan/the Three killing Ialai. 

Anyway, we go back to Kaladin as Leshwi fights Sigzil now; she manages to spear him through the chest, and I swear to god if any of the original Bridgemen actually die, I’m going to kick Brandon Sanderson’s ass. Those are my BOYS. In any case, Leshwi doesn’t kill Sigzil, because Kaladin spared one of the Fused earlier--honor in combat, again. There’s definitely a whole essay I could discuss about this opening few chapters and the idea of if continuing a fight is the right thing to do and if that fight can be continued in a way that is moral, but I don’t have the time for that, I’m trying to do NaNoWriMo and read this book. 

I’ll shelve it along with the Oathbringer and the idea of personal responsibility essay. 

We go back to Navani and get another real sense of how well she knows her team; she knows the personal tics and oddities of all the ardents and scholars who are helping her on the Fourth Bridge, which is nice to see. We also get that Renarin is here, distracting crying children by having Glys form a ball of light, and Navani has this observation: 

Renarin claimed the spren [Glys] was trustworthy, but something was odd about his powers. They had managed to recruit several standard Truthwatchers--and they could create illusions like Shallan. Renarin couldn’t do that. He could only summon lights, and they did strange, unnatural things sometimes...

Really excited to see how Renarin’s powers develop similarly to or different from standard Truthwatchers; I agree that Glys is probably trustworthy because Renarin is the best judge of that at the moment and also because “the corrupted spren turns out to be evil” isn’t a very interesting plot development compared to “there can be good corrupted spren” 

And then I got yanked forcibly off-topic because guess who fucking showed up. Moash decided to show his backstabbing, treacherous little face again, wearing--of all things--a uniform cut exactly like Bridge Four’s but in black rather than blue, which is just a stupendous dick move. Navani is the one who sees him, too, and we get a sharp reminder that he murdered her son.

Kaladin doesn’t hear the alarm that Navani raises, though, because he’s busy fighting Leshwi, something he seems to genuinely enjoy as a test of his skills. He pushes his home-field advantage here, managing to distract Leshwi to the point that they both seriously injure the other; Kaladin is grinning throughout, which is actually somewhat disturbing. To me it reads like Kaladin’s stopped caring about his own life in favor of trying to help others at any cost, but I’m not sure if that’ll play through as an accurate read. 

In any case, someone set Roshone’s house on fire, and the teleporting fucker is there and actively attacking civilians. Leshwi is pissed off to see this and gestures for Kaladin to go and deal with that rather than continuing their fight; at this point, I really started loving Leshwi as a character. I’m a sucker for a good principled antagonist lady, they’re just a good trope. 

Anyway, we get to Chapter Seven. Navani’s epigraph notes that zinc makes the spren in fabrials more active, while brass quiets them. So...you could say...that brass soothes them...while zinc...makes them riot....

Anyway, back to Ialai, Shallan notes that she seems extremely worn and tired, and she claims to support Gavinor to the throne--with herself as regent, of course. She and Shallan proceed to have an entire conversation in wine metaphors, talking about who they are working with or for, and Ialai assumes that the Ghostbloods sent the Three to kill her, claiming they want the Sons of Honor out of the way and will send her after Restares next. Veil instantly switches her vote to not killing Ialai bc she doesn’t like to be manipulated, and Adolin kicks down the door. 

Ialai tells Shallan to search her rooms for “the rarest vintage” before the Ghostbloods can, and then--before she can even leave the building--she dies of poisoning, implying there’s a mole somewhere in Adolin and Shallan’s people. That’s not great, and the Ghostbloods aren’t fucking around in the slightest with her. 

Meanwhile, with Kaladin, the teleporting fucker took Godeke--the one named Edgedancer here other than Lift--hostage to lure Kaladin inside, where he uses a strange, void-fabrial to drain Surgebinder powers in the room. And then makes a critical error in thinking that that will be enough: 

The Fused laughed and spoke in Alethi. “Radiants! You rely too much on your powers. Without them, what are you? A peasant child with no real training in the art of warfare or--”  Kaladin slammed himself against the soldier to the right. 

Oh you poor idiots, Kaladin was a prodigy with the spear LONG before he was a Windrunner, went most of his army career without bonding Syl, and--crucially--one of you is carrying a physical spear. Checkmate, assholes. Kaladin quickly beats most of the ones there, including killing the teleporting fucker before he can teleport again, and lets the last one go--of course--before helping Lift get Godeke out and telling her to get the void fabrial to Navani. 

Meanwhile, he’s going to go make sure Roshone is alright, where I have the very prescient note of “I bet actual money Moash is killing him as we speak.” 

Ialai’s probable method of death was blackbane poison in her bloodstream; one of Shallans’ people examines the body for it, while Shallan goes to search ialai’s rooms. 

Another epigraph note, this time about bronze and heliodor being used to make warning fabrials. Scadrial really was just a primer on the uses of various metals with investiture, huh? 

Meanwhile, Kaladin finds the prisoners below the manor killed with a shardblade, and spins around to find Moash slitting Roshone’s throat before making what I called, in a late-night worktime daze, “just a series of rat bastard moves. Hate that guy. Just honestly hate that guy.” 

Specifically, he surrenders so that Kal cannot keep attacking him--because Kal’s a good person--just after taunting him for wanting to rescue someone. 

Back with Shallan, Veil is pushing her again to continue remembering their past, but she still resists; she finds a rare Shin wine in Ialai’s store, before using that to find a pattern on the floor of old, shadowyears-era glyphs with maps of the ten Epoch Kingdoms, under one of which is a notebook of Ialai’s; she tucks it in her safepouch, and we go back to Kaladin. 

I really think the arc for Kaladin in this book is going to be accepting that he can’t save everyone,  particularly from themselves, because he pauses and remembers how Moash had been a friend, but even more than that, he had been Bridge Four--someone that Kaladin had sworn to protect, and he’d failed: 

Kaladin had failed Moash. As soundly as he’d failed Dunny, Mart, and Jaks. And of them all, losing Moash hurt the most. Because in those callous eyes, Kaladin saw himself. 

Kaladin can’t keep blaming himself for Moash’s choices, because Moash chose to do this, and was given ways out, and didn’t take them. It’s not Kaladin’s fault, and believing that it is is going to get Kaladin killed. 

And then, Moash winds up and delivers a grade-A Odium-powered Breaking Speech: 

"They're going to die, you know," Moash said softly. "Everyone you love, everyone you think you can protect. They're all going to die anyway. There's nothing you can do about it." [...] "Do you remember the chasm, Kal?" Moash whispered. "In the rain that night? Standing there, looking down into the darkness, knowing it was your sole release? You knew it hen. You try to pretend you've forgotten. But you know. As sure as the storms will come. As sure as every lighteyes will lie. There is only one answer. One path. One result. [...] I've found the better way," Moash said. "I feel no guilt. I've given it away, and in so doing became the person I always could have become--if I hadn't been restrained. I can take away the pain, Kal. Isn't that what you want? An end to your suffering?”

Odium’s deal all over again--he will take away your pain and your responsibility for your actions, but the price for that is your integrity and your honor. It’s so insidious, especially because Moash is exploiting the fact that Kaladin was suicidal to play into the idea of life being hopeless--he’s implying that Kaladin’s suicidal impulses were right and then offering another way out. It’s so, so so so awful, and Kaladin can’t even bring himself to fight it, because it’s coming from an unarmed man and it’s targeted so directly at him. 

 “The answer is to stop existing, Kal. You’ve always known it, haven’t you?”  Kaladin blinked away tears, and the deepest part of him--the little boy who hated the rain and the darkness--withdrew into his soul and curled up. Because...he did want to stop hurting. 

He wanted it so badly. 

Ugh, Moash’s whole thing here is just seeding that suicidality back into Kaladin--because frankly, most of the time? When someone is suicidal, in my (admittedly limited and personal) experience? What they genuinely want isn’t to die--they just want not to hurt anymore, and they see that as the only way. 

Light exploded into the room.  Clean and white, like the light of the brightest diamond. The light of the sun. A brilliant, concentrated purity.  Moash growled, spinning around, shading his eyes against the source of the light--which came from the doorway. The figure behind it wasn’t visible as anything more than a shadow.  Moash shied away from the light--but a version of him, transparent and filmy, broke off and stepped toward the light instead. Like an afterimage. In it, Kaladin saw the same Moash--but somehow standing taller, wearing a brilliant blue uniform. This one raised a hand, confident, and although Kaladin couldn’t see them, he knew people gathered behind this Moash. Protected. Safe.  The image of Moash burst alight as a Shardspear formed in his hands.

FUCK YEAH, RENARIN. 

I’m gonna end this section by just discussing what happened here, because there’s a lot to unpack there. We’ve seen Shallan use her illusions to create versions of people who they could be, but this isn’t doing that--if you look at the cause and effect, it’s not that Renarin created this illusory Moash, but more that the light Renarin created called forth that Moash from this one. 

More than anything, it reminds me of the effects of Gold Allomancy--creating a past version of the self, splitting the self into who you are and who you were, or who you are and who you could have been. This is not a version of Moash that could exist. He’s burned too many bridges and killed too many people in front of their infant children for that to happen. 

But it could have been Moash. It’s not calling forth the truth, really, it’s showing an alternate path. It’s strange and I can’t wait to see it explored more, and it shakes Moash to his core--because of course it does. Moash’s entire speech was saying “there are only two ways out, dying and giving in to Odium,” and Renarin’s light showed that that was a stark fucking lie. There’s the third choice of deciding to stand up and protect people anyway, and it was a choice Moash could have taken, and that kills him. It eats him up inside; it’s the pain that Odium can’t fully take away. 

As Kaladin said to Amaram: if what Odium says is  true, if what you claim is true, than why do you still hurt? 

[spector]

Earlier anon, I just binged the entirety of Kipo and Scarlemagne's death was so unnecessary. Sure his character arc reached it's conclusion but it was the last episode, everyone's did. Plus nothing he did was bad enough that he could only be redeemed through death. He deserved to live and I'm just gonna pretend the ending was actually him having to spend six months in cast. Then for the five year later thing she's just filling him in on what happened while he was scouting areas outside the vista

it honestly feels like they’ve killed him off because they wanted to have that FIVE YEARS LATER sequence and needed someone dead to ‘fill in’ . i know that its... kind of redundant to critique a show that had to resolve a whole story in 10 episodes 20 minutes each (lbr its kinda nothing, thats not enough time to finish telling the story they set out to tell). im sure the creators felt very limited by the time frame and u can feel it bc scarlemagne’s death kinda comes out of nowhere??? at the end there, he has barely spent any time w/ kipo, he hangs out w/ wolf exclusively and he also has ZERO meaningful lines of dialogue w/ either lio or song. like yeah they shielded him from the cure which is obviously touching but idk, so did everyone at that party ??? he didnt even talk to them he was just like AWW MY FAMBILY <33333 and they just stared at him aHIGFHGFIHG

i thought the beginning of his arc in this season was super strong, when he apologized and everyone said that its nice that he did that but they cant forgive him yet bc theyre not sure they want him back their safe space. i thought that was a great move by the writers bc cartoon villains often say ‘sorry, mb’ and everyone just goes ‘oh np!!! we’re cool now. at best some of us may glare at you sometimes but thats it haha’. amy (the rat) specifically said that, she said she’s not ready to let scarlemagne back into her space after what he did to ratland. and kipo understands that! even scarlemagne understands that! but then he doesnt get to earn that spot back in the mute community because he has to die for kipo and his death is seems super pointless anyways, bc the animation made it seem like emilia was going to mcfreaking lose it either way, regardless of his intervention

ok whatever so hes dead then and five years later they name a Scientific Academy after him and im 💀💀💀💀💀 THIS IS JUST FURTHER PROOF THAT LIO AND SONG REALLY DIDNT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HIM, SCARLEMAGNE WAS LIKE . THE ONLY ART MAJOR IN THAT FAMILY DO YOU THINK HE GAVE A SHIT ABOUT SCIENCE IM SCREECHING LIKE A WILD BABOON 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 MAYBE IF THEY MADE A CONCERT HALL AND NAMED IT AFTER HIM ID BUY THIS BUT THIS IS JUS THIGHFIGHFIGH (and yes ik that could have been a music academy but it was in the old wolf observatory if im not mistaken and the statue of him outside it had like... a spyglass in his hands which isnt very Artsy)

this isnt how i wanted his character to go, i genuinely thought he was going to show hes gonna work to earn his spot amongst other characters, especially the mute community. i genuinely thought he was going to help rebuild the ratland bc it would have been a very satisfying end to his character development arc. he destroyed it with his lackeys and then he’d be the one to help amy rebuild it, with his own hands, no more mind control, just hard work. i know that amy is such a minor character but... w/o ratland NONE of this would be happening and she also got so much shit this season i thought it would have been nice if scarlemagne earned her trust and forgiveness by putting in the work. plus im sure he’d enjoy running a post-apocalyptic didneyland, this would be a very fulfilling position for him and he’d put his skills for the benefit of the whole community etc etc and im just. i can’t believe they didnt go with this. its so obvious. he destroyed ratland, he’s the one who should rebuild it. and like i said, amy went thru so much shit in this season, the two of them working together on rebuilding the ratland would be a very nice hopeful touch ...

IDK i was kinda shocked bc the writing in this show has been so solid and they just pulled the rug out from under me in that last episode ... i was enjoying myself so much and then they murked my monkey my MONKEY my fop monkey ... HE WAS SO GOOD IN THIS SEASON TOO and then they just killed him because idk, its too much work to deal w/ lio and song being shitty parents to him or something.... or like i said, they just needed someone to die so they can quickly drop that ‘FIVE YEARS LATER, EVERYTHING IS OKAY’ scene... i swear to god i cant believe theyve done this ... my monkey... my fucking monkey i miss him every day ... THEY SHOULD HAVE JUST DONE THAT SCENE w/o narration , just kipo running thru the new world and having fun, thats it. 

now that i think abt it, they rly couldnt have killed anyone else from the main cast, everyone else is Too Important and if they killed a human character, it would have been Too Dark for the kids (like... idk if one of kipo’s parents died for example that would have been fucked up). so i fully understand why hes the one who had to bite the bullet but idk, maybe it could have been avoided. or idk at least executed in a better way. i still think there was still a lot of material to go thru btwn scarlemagne and lio (and song) and its just... the fact that he asked everyone to call him hugo before his death, FORGIVING everyone is kinda fucked up bc i dont think they earned that. and i dont think he earned forgiveness from people+mutes either... 

idk, this was too rushed and i didnt like it. but i hope u enjoy this chaotic essay abt a gay fop mandrill

[courtingstars]

Notes for The Road Before Us (MidoTaka)

So… Wow. I kind of can’t believe this is the last chapter. And I have to say, this one was a ride—or at least it was for me to write, anyway. //laughs Which seems appropriate, given the overall themes. And it also feels appropriate to be posting it on New Year’s Eve, given what the story ended up being about.

I knew this chapter would be the longest, once I realized some of the things I wanted to include in it. And that hopefully it would include pretty much everything I love the most about MidoTaka, and also about KnB in general. I don’t know how well I pulled that off, but I definitely got emotional writing it. <3

As a matter of fact, the first fic I ever wrote for KnB was a MidoTaka fic! (It’s here on my Tumblr, but I never even posted it to Ao3.) I haven’t written nearly as much about them as I have for some other pairings. Still, I kind of feel like I got my start in the fandom with MidoTaka, and I have a LOT of feelings about them, for all kinds of reasons. So I really, really loved getting to write a chapter about these two, being super amazing partners and also really super in love, and hopefully it shows. <3

I do have some of my usual notes this time around, mostly a few cultural things. (And also some random flailing, about FINALLY getting to write about certain things I’ve had swirling around in my head for a long time. XD) I might write a different post later about this fic overall, and how it turned into something I honestly wasn’t expecting… But for now, let’s get on with the MidoTaka goodness!

(Cut for rambling about things like family headcanons, a few Japanese winter foods, lucky pencils, Takao’s nerdy card hobby, and the symbolism of five yen coins…)

Family Headcanons

This isn’t really a proper note, just some goofy flailing because I FINALLY GOT TO WRITE ABOUT MIDORIMA AND TAKAO’S FAMILIES, HURRAY. I’m also so unbelievably happy that there was a cameo with Midorima’s little sister! I love her so much, especially that she likes nail art. (I have a pointless headcanon that Midorima borrows nail files from her. xD) I’m also overjoyed that I FINALLY got to mention that I headcanon Midorima’s mother as being a surgeon, and his father as a scientist. Because super-successful overachieving green family, that’s why? //laughs

(In case it wasn’t obvious already, I am way, WAY too into family headcanons… There’s probably nothing I love more than coming up with what a character’s family might be like, and how they fit into their family dynamic. To the point that I have a TON of ideas about all of the GoM’s families, some of which I hinted at throughout this story… Because apparently I can’t help myself anymore. XD)

The Rear Car

This is also not a proper note in any way, but… I’m just so happy that the rear car is in this! XDD I hinted at a few personal headcanons about it in the chapter, including that they don’t use it regularly by their third year in high school. But it just seemed like it couldn’t be a MidoTaka fic without it, so I’m overjoyed that I was able to come up with a way to work it into a holiday fic…

… And because I’m a nerd, I love it even more because it just fits the “Sleigh Ride” theme SO PERFECTLY. XD It’s been a while, but I think that was even how I decided on the carol for the fic in the first place? Like, “OMG maybe Takao could decorate the rear car and they could ride around in it and it would be sort of like the song and that way the last chapter actually fits the most and IT’S PERFECT?!” Ah, the things I get excited about as a nerdy writer. //laughs

Hot Water Bottle Covers

… I’m not really sure if I should even make this a note, honestly. XD But I happened to get the idea for the cutesy hot water bottle covers that look like animals while I was doing a search for the Japanese word for hot water bottle. Which is yutanpo (ゆたんぽ), if anyone was curious!

Oden and Oshiruko

And now about the meal… Oden is a type of stew that is super popular in Japan in the wintertime, so it’s one of the foods that tends to be culturally associated with the season. There are a lot of different ingredients that can be in it, some of which can be pretty unfamiliar to people who aren’t from Japan. You can learn more about some of them in articles like this one. And yes, you can totally buy oden in a convenience store! (Which are everywhere in Japan and called ‘konbini’ for short.)

As for shiruko (or more formally, oshiruko!), this is the Japanese version of red bean soup. It’s prepared a few different ways, and the recipe varies by region. KnB fans will probably know it best as what Midorima is always drinking out of a can. XD So no surprise that it popped up in this chapter, really!

Yushima Tenmagu

This is just a quick mention about the lucky pencils Midorima gives Takao… As Midorima said, these came from a shrine called Yushima Tenmagu, which is pretty famous as a place for Japanese students to buy good luck charms to pass their exams. (Also if I remember correctly, Midorima has this running gag throughout some of the series extras about trying to figure out how to get better scores on his exams, and even about a lucky pencil? So it just seemed to fit. //laughs)

Magic the Gathering, Apparently

… Okay so first of all, I know literally nothing about Magic the Gathering. So if you happen to be an MtG fan and I screwed something up, I’m very sorry. //laughs

In any case, it’s a longtime headcanon of mine that Takao plays MtG. Since of course it’s one of the most famous trading card games in the world, and it’s still popular in Japan and played in the gaming communities there. And as Takao fans out there will know, his canon hobby is collecting trading cards, which he specifically shops for at a pretty famous Tokyo shopping center called Nakano Broadway. (All of which got a mention in this chapter!)

Also, if you’re wondering how long I’ve had the MtG headcanon specifically… Well, here’s a quote from my fic The Fast Train to Kyoto, where Akashi and Furihata run into Takao while shopping at Nakano Broadway:

“Why do you like to come here, if I may ask?” Akashi said.

“Oh, right. You guys gotta see this.” Takao started to rummage through one of his shopping bags. “I’m a loser for trading cards. Magic, mostly—play a lot of Magic.”

… Because the point guards in KnB are all huge nerds in my mind, and I WILL STAND BY THAT THEORY FOREVER. XD

(And no, I honestly had no idea that I would ever reuse that particular headcanon, especially in a holiday story? But it’s me, and I can’t seem to stop connecting all these totally unnecessary details, even in my fluff fanfics, so… I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. //laughs)

The Symbolism of Five Yen Coins

Okay, I have to admit really love this one, because of course I just sort of stumbled onto the idea by “accident.” //laughs So a few weeks back, I was trying to figure out what lucky item would work for Takao’s gift in the story. The real-life Oha-Asa has listed coins as a lucky item for multiple astrological signs over the years, so I was playing around with that idea… And that was when I learned about the symbolism of the five yen piece in Japanese currency. At which point I completely geeked out, and decided on the spot that I just HAD to use it.

So a five yen coin is pronounced “go-en” in Japanese. Which also sounds like another word that basically means a bond or connection, and has connotations of fate as well. For this reason, there are a lot of superstitions around five yen coins—it’s often used at shrines to pray, for example—and it’s basically connected to the idea of meeting people and making connections in a fortunate or “destined” way. Which just seems so fitting for Midorima and Takao, and how they met and later became partners! And also how I see all the relationships in KnB in general. <3

For an explanation from a Japanese person about some of the symbolism behind the five yen piece, I really recommend this article here! And Wikipedia also mentions some ways that the five yen piece is used culturally.

Well, that’s it for now! I might end up editing this a bit at some point, since I’m writing it in a hurry to post it on New Year’s. But I really wanted to get the final chapter up as soon as I could, so people could read the completed fic if they wanted.

Well, thank you all so much for indulging me in my holiday fic mood this year! Happy New Year, and I hope you all have an amazing 2020 ahead. I know I definitely have a lot of goals and things I’m thinking about and hoping for, and I might talk more about that soon. (As well as try to catch up on some messages and other to-do’s I’ve been horribly neglecting.) But for now, it just feels right to finally be able to complete this story, which ended up meaning way, way more to me than I ever expected it to. (Like KnB and these precious rainbow basketball kids in general, really. <3)

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

hey CJ since we’re getting ep4 next week, can you list all of your possible theories/predictions for episode 4 ? how the episode will start, how it will end, deaths, scenes, and what not :)

*deep inhale* 

buckle in

it’s a long one

You know what I’ve noticed? We haven’t had a single walker death, have we?

Marlon killed Brody, AJ killed Marlon, Lilly killed Mitch [😭], Clementine killed Abel, Louis killed Dorian, AJ killed Lilly/ Lilly killed James, we’ve blown up who knows how many delta soldiers but…

No one has died from a walker bite or walker attack, and we haven’t had to deal with a bite victim in our group.

Which… is weird, right? Just me? All three of the previous seasons had ‘em.

S1: Girl in the motor-in, Doug/Carly, Duck, Brie, Lee

S2: Pete, Sarita, Carlos, Nick, Luke, Sarah

S3: In all of the endings, Kate, David, and Gabe [and Javi, if you count the fake-out ending] can be killed by a bite/turned into a walker. [Also Conrad can die to the walkers in one of his many deaths]

So… s4 gives us?? A bitten Abel?? But it’s determinate and he lives anyway?

This just kind of makes me think that we might get one in episode 4 since we haven’t had to deal with it. Then again, they might just be going for the whole “humanity is more dangerous than walkers” thing, but for the sake of argument…

I don’t think Clementine will be canonically bitten like Lee was. By that I mean she may get bitten if that’s what prompts one of the endings. Same thing with AJ.

I’m thinking that one of the kids might get bit, and I’ve narrowed it down to Tenn and Minerva.

Tenn because I feel he would be the most tragic and it could really show us what kind of AJ we’ve created.

Maybe AJ’s super cold and just… shoots Tenn before anyone gets to say goodbye because “what do you do when someone’s bit?” and it doesn’t really affect him all that much even tho he considered him his friend.

Or, maybe AJ’s legitimately heartbroken that his friend is bitten and doesn’t want him to die and we see our kid just… cry over his friend.  

Or maybe there’s a happy [?] medium where AJ’s upset but he knows what has to be done, so he says his goodbyes, lets everyone say their goodbyes, and then whoever [most likely Clem] puts him down. 

As for Minerva, if she survives the explosion, might get bit as some sort of “redemption” by saving Tenn or whoever.  

Lilly / James Endings

So, I’ve already discussed the whole Lilly vs James choice in previous asks so I’ll just summarize my best guess as to what they may do as far as the outcomes. I think with this choice, we may be choosing our final antagonist.

[spare Lilly] I doubt they’ll just kill her off in the explosion because she’s fucking Lilly and the devs said they’re straying away from choice payoffs like that.

I think she’ll be “missing” as in when we wake up we may not see her [unless she is there and attacks us and we have to escape her again] and she’ll gather up any delta survivors to get revenge and possibly take AJ [assuming they’re going for the s1 parallel of kidnapping a child] and then we’ll have a final battle with her.

I’m hoping it’s by the barn so that we can bash her brains in with the salt lick like WHY ELSE WOULD THEY SHOW IT TO US?? 

Lemme look her in the eye while Clementine holds the salt lick over her head and say, 

“Larry bled like a fucking pig, and so will you.”

Fuck Lilly jfc

[shoot Lilly] Again, I doubt if we save James that he’ll be killed off during the explosion, but we’ll get separated. 

after an intense escape scene and I think we’ll meet up with some of the group [Louis/Violet, Aasim, Omar] but no one else is accounted for but there are too many walkers drawn in from the explosion to stay put and look.

Clementine might send everyone back to the school while she searches for AJ because I don’t see her just assuming that he made it back without looking. But, when we get to the school be to find that [hopefully] everyone made it back okay [more or less] except AJ and James.

Which prompts a “Oh shit, we have to go find them!”

Whether they’ll go through with the ‘kidnapping’ part of it, I dunno, since it’s been pointed out that James doesn’t really seem like the type unless it was for some extremely drastic measure.

We might have to justify our actions to him and explain why we told AJ to shoot. 

I said before that part of the choice [James vs Lilly] might be to let James die a friend and thinking AJ’s saved, or prevent his death and watch him turn on us. But, I dunno. Either way’s heartbreaking.

AJ + What becomes of him

I agree with a lot of people when they say that we won’t be influencing his choices next episode and he’ll make his own decisions based on what we taught him. 

This is a little worrying because I’m not the greatest parent… after all, I shoved Abel through the window, let him attack Dorian, told him to shoot Lilly…

But! I didn’t kill the walker couple [what good that’ll do I dunno], I let him know that killing Marlon was wrong, didn’t give him dibs on Abel, I didn’t torture Abel…

I’m just eager to see just how much it’ll affect how my choices shape him because I don’t want to it be just one or two things.

Deaths

Honestly, I think it’d be cool if everyone was determinate. 

Imagine the combo of endings that could produce.

I’d hate it because I don’t want my kids to die, but at least if they were all determinate then I could possibly save them all, right?

Unless we get an A vs B choice again in which case PLEASE DON’T

I keep thinking of scary combos like

[save Aasim] vs. [save Ruby]

[Save Tenn] vs. [save Willy]

[save Willy] vs. [save Aasim] 

[god looking at these makes me think of those fanmade ending screens that are all over reddit and I don’t like it]

I know that if they throw ANY of these at me I’ll just be stuck there, staring at the pause screen gripping my controller to the point of breaking it and trying to not scream. 

Also, I list those ones because I don’t think we’ll have another [save Louis] vs. [save Violet] choice because at this point it’s a little pointless? It’s a shitty choice for the player to make but… it’d be easy, too? Depending on which route you’re doing? Like, I’m not going to pick Louis for all three episodes then suddenly be like “Nah, gotta save Vi” because??? 

I think my choice is pretty obvious at this point, game, c’mon. 

But, if that’s not the case, I’ll list who’s most likely to die down to least likely:

Omar [sorry buddy, you’re on all our lists and I hate it]

Minerva

Tenn

Lilly/James

Willy

Aasim

Ruby

Louis/Violet [betrayed]

Louis/Violet [saved]

Clementine

AJ

Tho I hope Omar lives to the end so he can turn to the camera and flip all of us off for talking shit

Gimme that romance 

I know we just took down [or did we…?] a bunch of sick delta raiders but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t get to smooch Louis again, okay?

After all this shit, I’m gonna need to see some romance with Clementine and her bf/gf [or bromoments if you friendzoned them]

Let me hug AND kiss Louis. 

I think we deserve it at this point.

Also, he’s pretty messed up from shooting Dorian [OR YA KNOW LOSING HIS TONGUE]

And gimme angst with Violet. I’ll try not to get pissed off this time around since I’ve got a better understanding of her character after taking time to process it. So long as she doesn’t hurt anyone [and I doubt she will] then we’ll be fine. 

Long post, but there are some of my thoughts. 

Maybe once the trailer comes out I’ll have more ideas and predictions, but for now, that’s all folks.

[ralfstrashcan]

3x20 Reaction / Commentary

I wonder why, considering it wasn't hard at all. They barely had a plan and even had time to include some personal drama in their fight. Wtf. The only thing I can imagine why no one ever managed to kidnap her before is because no one wanted to have a hostage as irritating as the seelie queen.

Hahahahahaha hilarious. Also, lol, no I'm choosing not to think of the implications because they are TOO DISTURBING, YOU HEAR ME @intezaarlily XD XD XD

HAHAHA I CAN'T THE WAY SHE PETULANTLY SHAKES HER HEAD

I mean, compelling argument. And very fitting since we learned from that Lilith Debacle that the Shadowhunters' go to solution for everything and anything is torture. But what I find way more interesting is that we finally get a good look at the side of the seelie queen's crown.

's pretty.

There's so much to unpack in this scene. Which I'm gonna do, in excruciating detail. In a relationship analysis post thingy, not here, because time and space reasons. Just know that this scene is absolutely amazing, their facial expressions and gestures, and of course the pretzel. Dammit, so amazing. Can't wait to fawn over it all.

I'm with Meliorn on this one. Just because Lanaia committed a violation of the Accords (yes, on behalf of the seelie queen but the shadowhunters have no way of knowing that and I guess Meliorn wasn't stupid enough to tell them that) doesn't mean Clary can violate the Accords back and go unpunished. That's not how a legal system works. It's clear that with this whole operation the shadowhunters valued Clary's life over that of however may seelie guards' it would have taken to keep Jace's cover and get Clary back. I bet you Alec is aware of that and that's why he has that pinched look on his face the whole time. And while he argues pro shadowhunter side with that injection about Lanaia and he tries to placate Meliorn, he noticable doesn't try to justify Jace's actions at all, and whenever Jace does, Alec closes his eyes as if he's thinking “Dude don't you realize that's not an argument.”

And then he just wants to leave???? Hahaha creep

HAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD COMEDIC GOLD. The way he delivers that line I can't!!! The way he says “naturrrrrr” hahaha delicious.

Uh if that's the smartest move? Who knows what kind of kinky shit Meliorn will demand in return?? I mean, just look at his smirk. Also, in case this doesn't get addressed again this is such a ficlet waiting to be written lol.

The way Alec immediately starts almost-crying when someone mentions Magnus pulls on my heartstrings. Fragile darling boy.

I mean, I'm pretty sure Alec carrying the ring around in his pocket was for meta reasons so he could give it to Maryse in their only scene together, but dammmnnn the in universe implications. Ouch.

I'm really going to miss this XD

“My” door??? My ass.

“Alec and I are no longer.”

lsjfkasdjflksdjfsdjflskdjf I CAN'T HAHAHHAAH HIS FACE

Hahahahha please Lorenzo stop, I feel like I shouldn't be laughing so much XD Isn't this episode supposed to be Super Dramatic? I'm actually having the time of my life so far XD

XD XD XD XD XD

Okay and now I'm back to rage because wtf!!!! So Magnus is aware that Lorenzo's jurisdiction is limited and tiny, why didn't he remember that literally anytime before this, for example in 3x10?? Just imagine it, if Magnus had done that fancy ritual thingy he wouldn't have even needed to trade his magic away. Oh right, problem identified. There wouldn't have been some Prime Drama if he'd behaved like a sensible person. Ugh.

The way Lorenzo's face falls upon hearing Asmodeus is priceless. But, uh, important question, how the hell does he know Asmodeus's face? Or does he identify him by his powers? Then again he failed identifying Asmodeus's power signature before already (3x02) so uuhhhh I need answers.

Magnus Bane, finally enjoying the Draco Malfoy Way Of Life. I mean, that's not really rebutting Lorenzo's claim. The opposite, in fact. Also wtf does Lorenzo have for nerves to say that to Asmodeus's face???

So this is not common warlock practice. Thanks for clarifying. Also, look at Asmodeus's smug face when Magnus references Edom hahaha #ProudDad

THE SASS HAHAHA (btw for a moment I was worried he'd turnd him into a plastic lizard until it moved haha)

Also this means, the person Magnus trashes later in the loft with the whips, as seen in the promo, is Asmodeus?? Because he learns of his deal with Alec?? Or tbh, I've been entertaining the thought that it's Alec ahahaha

Also, Asmodues saying “When they hear about what?” has the same energy as Loki saying “I'm listening” in Avengers 1.

Yeah I still have questions about that. But sure, whatever. Then again, if Jordan is so long-fingered he could start a career as pickpocket. Sounds like a stable income job to me.

See, the problem here is that this isn't fixing any of Maia's problems. Apart from the fact that currently she has no problems to fix as far as I'm concerned (the dead pack won't be miraculously resurrected if she becomes human) her issues with her family aren't due to her being a werewolf. She's adjusted to her life as a werewolf and if you ask me, she's grown to love it and she doesn't want to go back. Hell, she wanted to become alpha. She's working on building her own pack now. Someone who hates being a werewolf wouldn't do that. Very obviously, his line of reasoning makes sense for Jordan because he can't forgive himself for turning and abandoning Maia, which he views as ruining her life. So by reversing it he could finally start to atone for what he did. Perfectly ic, but very frustrating because as I pointed out, this won't benefit Maia in any way, it'll just create drama between the two of them. (And frankly, while I moderately care about both of them, I'd rather have Malec on my screen. Sue me.)

Uh-huh, so some werewolf praetor spy with binoculars saw that Jordan stole the vial from the Institute but Izzy and Simon, who were literally in the same room didn't. No questions, your honor. Also ngl, since I knew this scene from the sneak peek already and couldn't care less about Luke's stupid Praetor plotline I skipped this scene XD #sorry not sorry

I know a lot of people were relieved Clary didn't make out with Jonathan and I'm honestly so surprised why people would assume in the first place there was any risk for that. Despite the Evil Rune taking hold she's still aware of her feelings, for example her love for Jace etc. So why would she suddenly be into incest?

Hehehehe the likelyhood of Asmodeus getting trashed in that loft is growing XD (Also please appreciate how I'm keeping my salt about Maryse's “I love you” under wraps, I'm amazed at my self restraint.)

I mean, I was really surprised by a character actually taking action, trying their hand at communication like this. I am impressed. The thing that I slightly dislike is that it's Maryse. She didn't have all the info about the deal Alec made with Asmodeus and a) Izzy had and I really, really expected her to do something about that instead of just letting Alec wreck his life and, to a good part, Magnus's as well, and b) if even Maryse, without even knowing for sure that Magnus's magic returned after Alec broke up with him, could put two and two together, why the hell didn't Magnus??

I can half buy that with his issues and insecurites striking harder than ever, amplyfied by the severe grief of his magic loss, he'd fall for Alec's lies because to him Alec loving him the way he did was too good to be true anyway, and their relationship wasn't long enough for Magnus to really get used to the idea that he gets to keep this. It's obvious in the way he always keeps his eyes closed after they kiss, this moment of disbelieve that this is actually real. So Alec breaking up with him wouldn't be an unreastic thing, it would be reality finally catching up with them, it'd be the universe rightening itself.

But, I only half buy it. Because even if Magnus had doubts about himself and his worth, how the hell could he revisit all those memories in 3x19 where Alec was dropping wedding vows left and right, and not realize that something about Alec was off there. Anyway, dwelling on this is pointless because what's done is done, but it's a very weak explanation and very convenient, story telling wise.

Hahahha love me some common sense. Maia has tons of it. Makes her so likable.

Listen, I like Jordan, but I can't even feel any sympathy in the face of all this stupidity. Just take the frakkin vial yourself, idiot. Humans don't die from silver poisoning. And it's clear that you're struggling with your werewolf-dom to hell and back. This would literally solve all of their problems wtf. But God forbid anyone ever act reasonable on this show. Goddammit.

Hahahha so rude. *Loki Voice* WHO PUT HIM THERE??? Another missing scene ficlet dying to be written XD Also, does Lorenzo still have his consciousness or was his mind reduced to that of a lizard? Will it be restored when he's transformed back? Is that even possible or was that transformation irreversible? Will he remember his time as a lizard? Or is Lorenzo as we know and love to hate him gone forever? So many questions.

Bitch you didn't, you had to be TOLD

I find it amazing that Asmodues tries to argue with Magnus even though his evil plan was uncovered. He really doesn't get it, does he? That Magnus likes his life and doesn't want to be in Edom?

I am reeling. What a frikkin powermove, disposing of him like that, and with his own invention no less. Talk about a dead ass capable character who could trash everyone in his way. Honestly I'm still processing. This is so radical wtf. So I'm never gonna get another scene with Asmodeus?? Please I wanted more of them!! I am so helplessly in love with their dynamic. 5 bucks say he was supposed to come back in S4 I WAS SO DEPRIVED OH GOD!!!!!

Edit: Yeah, this was actually supposed to be a setup for a Dark!Magnus plotline, with Asmodeus playing a big role in S4. They changed that and cut this short, here's the article I got this from. We were so robbed. I can't.

“Hurry, away from this Shadowhunter Nonsense. Honestly, that they can never solve their shit issues in their own fugly ass Institute but have to do it on our beautifully groomed frontyard. The disrespect.”

WOW IZZY'S WEARING FLAT SHOES FOR THE OCCASION CAN YOU BELIEVE IT

Also that fighting is awesome and all (Alec as a tactical advantage, Jace “betraying” his position as a ploy, color me impressed) but doesn't Clary have to stab Jonathan for it to work?? Or is it enough if one of the bondmates is stabbed with the sword?? And since Fake Glorious is super instable etc. and will likely be destroyed in the process they shouldn't take any chances and make sure it really works the first time around.

I get that this is supposed to be dramatic but sorry, I don't buy for one second that 3 Months Shadowhunter Newby Clary manages to get one over Izzy who's been literally trained since birth (yeah that was a quote from Arthur because I'm total Merlin Trash) and she's their best fighter ever and could beat Jace and Alec at the same time with the flick of a wrist while blindfolded. Please. Oh my god. Maybe because she always fights with her whip she's not too used to a sword. Then again she also uses a staff and she still was trained since birth so no, I'm still not buying it.

Hahahahah nice one, Simon.

“That's my plan, you can bet on it, bet on it, bet on it....”

why I mean, this was a conscious choice on producers' part, right. So I'm demanding an explanation. What's the point of this weirdly edited grunt?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA SAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Hm, they don't fold too nicely. But all in all, pretty solid wing work.

?????? This makes no sense since, prior to this half season, he wasn't tethered to Clary. Wtf. For all intents and purposes, Jonathan should be dropping dead to the ground since he was using Clary's life force to be alive, remember, he was literally killed to death before. Only their bond was keeping him alive. This makes no sense whatsoever. But anyway, that was a pretty impressive departure.

Yeah, how about you get the f outta there now, Simon.

H-e-a-l-i-n-g  r-u-n-e. Honestly. Wtf.

Also, Izzy pushing Simon to the ground was a little stupid, he could have vampire-run out of the explosion's perimeter easily. If he had a few brain cells. Okay, problem identified, I take everything back, Izzy made the right call.

And I guess Alec's just chilling over there on the forrest ground. He deserves that break, man.

Just force it down Jordan's throat omg. If he still dies, whatever, good for him, he got what he wanted. If not then he can maybe start facing his Maia-shaped issues in a constructive way.

Maia giving it to Luke makes no sense. How the f does he want to “get rid of it” wtf. If I were Maia I'd just pour it in the river or idk, burry it somewhere. Lock it in a safe, throw away the key. Or better yet, keep an eye on it. But sure, Luke who just learned the Praetor are full of shit is gonna give it to them?? I mean, the thought must have crossed his mind that maybe they didn't heal Jordan as a punishment for failing that Heidi mission? Since apparently it's common werewolf knowledge that the Praetor is able to cure a silver poisoning? Jordan wouldn't have said that if they didn't have a cure for it, right? If Luke honestly gives them that vial, he'll be dead to me. I fully expect him to try and blackmail the Praetor with it or something, but if he doesn't istg.

You're on thin effing ice, man.

Aahhhhh yeah how very convenient. Also rude, they stole Jonathan's home :C Also technically she shouldn't be able to do that because it's demon travel and she no longer has a connection to demon blood.

Yeah and they also steamrolled whatever room was there before they parked that big ass apartment there. Congrats.

“You barely got your licence to drive a car, much less whatever that was.”

hahahaha

ALEC'S FACE HAHAHAHAHA I LOVE ONE 100% DONE MAN

Hell yeah logic!! But lol I genuinely don't think Jace or Simon thought of that when they were unhelpfully patting her back.

.........? How is Simon there then? This isn't even sarcasm, I genuinely don't get it.

This was cute and all, but she didn't actually activate her iratze wtf. Or wash off her blood.

Dude wtf Maia

I mean come on, this is so obvious to top off their drama.

Yep, I called it. Seriously, you don't leave a person on the brink of death alone for literally this reason. And before you tell me she was just getting some food to lighten the mood from her way back from the bridge, there was still tons of daylight then and this is at least several hours later. I am sorry, but I feel zero sympathy.

1) Where do those surviving werewolves besides Bat come from? 2) What does mundane police have to say about this public cremation? 3) I remember this shot of Maia walking away from the fire from the 3B Trailer. So rude.

ALSO I'M MORE THAN READY FOR SOME MALEC CONTENT WTF MAN

NO. NO I DO NOT BUY. EITHER THE WINGS ARE STILL THERE OR HIS JACKET IS RIPPED TO PIECES BUT YOU DON'T GET TO PRETEND THEY MAGICALLY APPEAR ON TOP OF HIS CLOTHES WTF He's not Miley Cyrus from that one music video. (Can't be Tamed, if you're wondering.)

0 bucks say he caught them making out, honestly this was so obvious.

This rang deep. Really great moment. I can't really put it into words, but this had such an impact. A real warrior feel to it. Amazing.

“No obviously we don't but c'mon, work with me here.”

I can't possibly put into words the love I'm feeling for one (1) extra warlock.

He finally got it. My poor murderous incest baby. Too bad this means Clary lost her only bargaining chip.

NOOOO IT'S NOT, YOU WERE RAISED BY VAL IN A HUT AND THEN LIVED AT THE NY INSTITUE, THE ONLY TIME YOU VISITED ALICANTE WAS OWL'ED OUT OF YOUR MIND TO KILL IMOGEN WHAT THE HELL HAHAHA

I love how he delivers this line. It's his goodbye because there's no making it out of there alive, and the last thing of importance he has to say is a love confession to Clary. Very nice delivery.

ahahahahah okay this was a nice echoing of Jace's other love confession, but all I could focus on was how frakkin red Clary's hand is hahaha

I love everything about this, okay. I love how Alec just gives in because he couldn't stand to be apart from Magnus for one more second. I love how this is reminiscent of their first kiss at Alec's fail wedding. (Btw can you believe we're gonna start and end Malec with a kiss at a wedding and a wedding kiss? The poetry.) I love the backdrop, the absolute destruction. Love Izzy in her rightful place in the first row since she's the Captain of the MS Malec.

I really appreciate that they bothered with an explanation why Magnus needs to go to Edom at all, but, uh, if memory serves right he closed a rift to Edom in 2x19 and it was no big deal. I'd buy that this rift is larger or more powerful because it was created by the Morgenstern Sword but just because I can find an explanation that this task is harder than one Magnus already accomplished onscreen with relative ease doesn't mean it's not the Show’s duty to deliver an explanation of its own accord instead of letting fans pick through their worldbuilding and figuring out something that makes sense. A simple “You closed rifts before, from Earth.” - “This rift is too large” would have been enough. Is that too much to ask.

GOD MAGNUS WHY THAT WORDING I HAD TO THINK OF LORENZO WTF MAN WHY YOU MAKE ME THINK OF LORENZO WHHHYYYYYYYY

When he lifted his hand in that slow deliberate move I was SO SURE HE'D BE WEARING THE LIGHWOOD RING HAHAHA

HAHAHA THAT WAS CLEARLY NOT THE FUGLY LIGHTWOOD FAMILY RING (since that has a square shape on top, come on) YES I STAN A FASHION ICON

Btw there's a description in those rings, I can't really tell, but the one on the right looks like a loopy A upside down so I'm guessing one has “Alexander” and the other “Magnus” on the inside????

Edit: Both rings say “Aku cinta kamu” and I am DEAD

Hahahaha Alec wanted to win the proposal but this round goes to Magnus. But tbh he totally cheated XD XD XD

Ngl, the ring catching on Magnus's knuckle for a moment reminded me of the wedding of Kate and William ahahahaa I'm trash XD

Can you believe Malec got cheated out of their first engaged kiss by some rude ass explosion? Unfair.

I find myself genuinely confused by this. Why does Alec even entertain the thought of not going with Magnus? It seems so illogical that they'd seperate now. Later reason kicked in, and yeah, Edom probably isn't the best place for a shadowhunter but this is exactly it: Alec's instinct should have been to go with Magnus and I wish they'd taken the time to address this in any way, to give Alec the chance to express his wish to go with Magnus.

WTF WHY DOES MAGNUS SHAKE HIS HEAD THIS IS NOT OKAY WTF

But then he jokes about runaway grooms anyway because he thinks he’ll never see Alec again and he wants Alec to remember him joking & smiling & happy *cries* I’M SAD. why did I bring that up.

Thanks, @intezaarlily for making tHIS EVEN WORSE WTF

OH MY GOD I CAN'T I'M LAUGHING SO HARD THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS HAHAHAHA Magnus REALLY should have pulled the portal down on himself and not flown into it like a flying fish jumping out of the water wtf hahaha. Then again this is proof he can totally do the superman flight and it is CANON that he did that at some point. He had a whole annoying phase where he'd just fly around like a super hero. Cat was so done with it. Ragnor refused to be around him at all. Good times.

Anyway, another thing I need an explanation for is why it'll be so hard for Magnus to return to Earth. In 3x10 that posed No Problem, meaning one of two things. Either a) Asmodeus sent him back or b) he could easily travel back because he used that pentagram thingy. Honestly, the fact that Jonathan just as easily returns to Earth after his failed attempt on Lilith's life lets me favor b), which begs the question why Magnus used a regular portal instead of the pentagram thingy now. But even if a) is the case then that means Greater Demons apparently have no problem removing people from Edom and then I wonder if Magnus will have to beg Azazel or something to return him home lol, like a little kiddie asking for a lift. Or maybe, since he channelled his epic Edom!Power, maybe he can send himself back?? In any case I want some solid explanation on that.

Alec just collapsing made so much sense okay. I could feel the emptiness in my own chest, having gained and lost everything in a few short minutes, I can't even imagine how crushed Alec must be feeling.

Magnus's magic closing the rift is so epic in an incredibly emotional and intimate sense. Seeing his magic, part of him, when he's so far beyond all of their reach. It's incredible, it's touching and powerful and so so fragile. I'm amazed.

I can't believe they did this. I can't believe they put the literally last shot of this in the 3B Trailer. The audacity.

Okay but really important question, who's gonna feed Lorenzo now??? (God only one week left I am dead.)

[mild-lunacy]

Complaining (is a great hobby)

More random things I hate (or just really don't like) enough to complain here, even though no one cares. Or maybe it's *because* no one cares. But yeah, this is why I don't read most YA.

- YA plots that depend on really weirdly structured post-apocalyptic societies that somehow involve groups of teens fighting for their life in increasingly unlikely ways. Oh man, Katniss, you've created a monster. I haven't actually read the books, but the Hunger Games movies worked because they just kind had that combination of implicitly artificial reality TV and the excuse of a dictatorship ordering atrocities that don't need to make sense. But without that fake reality TV aspect, you're left with the fact that reality doesn't, you know, have teams. Yes, not even in high school. Maybe more to the point, after the first few times, it's no longer cool to say the whole world can be high school no matter what your specific plot is. It's just stupid.

- YA plots that depend on magical schools that-- once again-- exist and operate both autonomously and recklessly, in ways that have no obvious reason. Which is funny 'cause, of course, HP started it. In my opinion, HP worked primarily because it's so heavily on the satiric side in terms of world-building. Things in Hogwarts are so over-the-top because the entire world is. The HP world is consistently wacky and dangerous. When you take the 'dangerous magic school'  thing super seriously, suddenly, yeah-- it's just stupid.

- Maybe this doesn't need to be said, but I consider most love triangles to be tiresome and obvious rather than exciting. Usually the endgame is all too obvious, and is only delayed by unnecessary misunderstandings and angst. This doesn't mean you have to write unrealistically stable and mature teen romance. More books should try what Maggie Stiefvater did, and simply have interesting and helpful relationships that involve good character development and then simply end, particularly with the characters as friends. I know she hadn't written it for that purpose (probably), and I don't necessarily think YA needs to be didactic, but I think showing how to have temporary but respectful relationships would, you know, be useful to actual teenage readers more than yet another pointless triangle.

- I'm a huge fairy-tale retelling fan. So it means something when I say there's such a glut-- so very many-- that I have no idea what to read and so I read none. It's gotten beyond saturation to simple exhaustion.

- This goes beyond YA, but I definitely think the focus on large-scale plots revolving around whole organizations and huge casts is off-putting. It wouldn't bother me as much if their purpose didn't inevitably involve fighting bad guys. I've said this before, with fantasy and the idea of The One, but this applies just as well to YA-- human-scale plots matter more. Human stakes just mean more. And most of the time, evil is just an excuse to kill people you don't have to feel sorry for. The main reason the HP books' breadth worked for me is 'cause everything was focused through Harry and his friends. Voldemort wasn't really front and center until the last book, and even then, I wouldn't say it was about killing Voldemort, really. The story is about Harry and his friends growing up, and that's what I like. In the end, it's that narrow focus that works for me with The Raven Cycle and Six of Crows, too.

- This also goes beyond YA to many genres, but I consider endless series to the point of barely any stand-alone books to be pretty off-putting. I generally think twice and then again before making the commitment of a ten-book plus series. It's funny 'cause people used to complain about the preponderance of trilogies, but now I'd say a trilogy is nice and neat. 🙄 Anyway, I don't think it's a coincidence that HP, at seven books, is the longest YA I've read by far. And I only consider that remotely appropriate because it was a book per school year, rather than an exercise in 'let's see how long we can extend the plot'. Anyway, I don't think it's a coincidence that most book series I'm into are trilogies and under (thanks, Leigh Bardugo). There should be a lot more books like 'The Scorpio Races'.