#sorry if this has spelling errors i have not slept in 24 hrs

[dutchsmangoes]

Ring Dang Do (Uncle x Reader)

okay this is what i like to call a joke i took too far !! but maybe one lone rdr fan is craving that uncle [redacted] so this is for all the fellow uncle sluts out there 

warnings: sexy sex

Something was off.

Not with the camp, it was the same as always. A small handful of the gang had gathered around the fire, enjoying being out of the bitter mountains. They had taken to singing a rendition of the funny but deviously naughty Ring Dang Do. All of this felt normal to you: Arthur drunkenly but happily slurring the words, Javier playing along to the tune, Sean and Pearson joining in when they could remember how it went. All of that was fine.

But a part of you was warming as you sat and patted your knees to the beat, and it wasn’t the campfire doing the work. Since he had started, you found yourself unable to take your eyes off Uncle. It was in his wheelhouse to bring up dirty folk songs, but this one. This one was something else.

You hadn’t really noticed before, in the light of day, how handsome Uncle was. Maybe it was the song or maybe just the warmth of the fire. He was bundled in a coat as the nights tended to grow a little chilly, and he filled it out in a way that made you want to take in all of him with your eyes. No, no, more than that. With your hands.

After they had finished, you stood and placed a palm on Uncle’s shoulder, softly feeling the deer pelt the jacket was made of, running your hands through the fuzzy neckline. “Hey, could I have a word with you for a minute?” you said, not moving your hand. He looked up at you, confusion mixed with intrigue in his eyes. “Sure, I guess.”

You led him to the woods surrounding Horseshoe Overlook, making sure the gang was too tipsy or too tired to notice. He had been holding a bottle of cheap whiskey and had not set it down. Good, that might make this a little more fun.

“Look, if this is about my drinkin’, save it! I swear, one of y’all women give me tha-,” but before he could finish, you had your arms around his neck, your lips crashing into his. Now, Uncle may have been old and dumb but he could figure out when a woman had other ideas in mind. He pulled away, keeping his free hand on your hip. “Y/N…”

He trailed off as you stole the bottle from his hand, taking a long gulp of it. When you returned your gaze to his, he was beaming like a child. “Not of’en I meet a girl like you.” You only smirked and held the opening of it to your neck, letting a little whiskey trickle down your collarbone. Uncle looked at you, and you nodded, letting him lick the potent yet sweet substance off you.

“Seems a little got under your dress…” he murmured as he unbuttoned your top, pushing it down to your waist. You began to work the coat off him, laying it down on the ground beside you. Taking his hand, you move slowly to the grass, continuing your affair there.

Uncle is all too eager until he pulls away. “It’s been a damn long time since any woman let me… but Y/N, listen, I got lumbago. I can’t keep up with you. Why don’t you chase after Arthur, or Charles?”

You only smiled and pulled him in for another kiss, his beard scratching your flushed face. “Because, you damn idiot, I want you. Look-,” you grabbed the coat from beside you, proceeding to fold the thick garment into a makeshift pillow. You slid it under his back. “Now, lay down and let that, the whiskey, and my mouth ease your sufferin’.”

He did as he was told, considering it was his favorite activity: drinking and being lazy. You moved yourself down to his legs, undoing his belt and suspenders. You dragged his pants down, biting your lip at the sight of how thick and hard he was. What he lost in length, he made up in width.

You took his cock in your hand and leaned over, dragging your tongue from base to tip. Uncle let out a heavy breath and put his hands behind his head, enjoying the view of you working your magic. It was a struggle to fit him into your mouth, but a pleasant one. The satisfaction as his member hit the back of your throat and he elicited a low moan, closing his eyes and biting into his arm.

As you felt him start to swell and breathe heavy, you pulled away. “Now, why’ve you gone and done that for?” but his question was answered as you climbed up his thick figure and reached beneath your dressings, making sure he had a clear shot at your soaking wet hole. Lowering yourself on to him, he finally couldn’t bite back his noises. “God damn, Y/N!”

You silenced it by leaning over and kissing him, pumping yourself on his shaft. You yourself couldn’t help but release soft gasps as he hit some spot within you. He lazily reached up and undid more of your top, letting your breasts free. Instantly he was silent and harder beneath you. You chuckled as you did the same, undoing his skivvies and biting your lip at his physique. His round stomach was covering in thick, white hair, his nipples large and perky. You ran your fingers through his fur as you gained more rhythm.

A week prior, you wouldn’t have seen yourself going for a man like Uncle. He wasn’t conventionally attractive, that’s for sure. But something about his singing and his demeanor and the week old stew staining his beard… it all made you quiver.

You continued until he bucked beneath you, wincing as he came back down. “I… I…,” he murmured, and you slowed down as he finished within you. You took a second to breath, as did he. Actually, he took more than a second.

When he had sufficiently regained his composure, you rose off him and straightened your dress. Nobody could have told that you had just rode a man harder than you do your horse, but you knew. His thick, warm load was leaking down your thighs and you had to bite yourself from reaching up there and grabbing a taste. Hopefully, you would get to sample his seed soon.

He sat up below you, taking a long swig of whiskey and smiling. “I don’t know what’s got into you, girl but… keep it up for me.” You nodded, giving him a soft kiss on his bald, wrinkly forehead before heading back to camp.

Arthur was standing by where you returned, and he looked up from drawing in his journal to give you a questioning glance. “What yuh doin’ out there?”

You furrowed your brows, feigning confusion. “I was only taking a walk…”

But little did he know you had just let Uncle take a ride on your Ring Dang Do.