#sorry if this has been asked and answered lol im v tired

[linzerj]

Did they get rid of the ability to double-tap on a post to like it on mobile???

[reidsahacker]

Support from Under the Desk

Vinnie Hacker x Female Reader

warnings: daddy kink, degrading, some praise, cockwarming, slight spanking.

1.4k words, briefly edited!

So um this is def not a blurb lol, got carried away! sorry lmao! if anyone wants a part 2 let me know and send in ideas!

Requests are open, send in your blurb reqs or concepts! my anons are open too! i also do emoji anons if anyone is interested!

Vinnie has been playing Valorant almost all day and watching him play can be super fun. Sometimes he lets you wear his headset and talk to the boys, sometimes he trys to teach you how to play, others you just like sitting there with him. Today you have done all 3 of those things and you are still bored. You are currently trying to take a nap but he keeps distracting you. Not because he is being loud but he is hot. He doesn't have a shirt on so every time he moves his back flexes, you watch his tattoo move.

"Fuck." Vinnie says as he throws his hands in the air. He stands up to stretch and his sweats slide just a little lower on his waist. You can see his v-line and all you can think about is trailing kisses down his stomach and stopping right at his spade tattoo, leaving kisses all around it, teasing him until he grabs you by the chin, giving you the warning look.

"Babe?...Baby?...Y/N?" Vinnie says calling at you.

"Hmm?" you hum.

"What's on your mind baby? I can tell you were thinking about something." He says slightly concerned/

"Nothing baby, i'm just tired." you answer still feeling your heart beat in 2 different places.

"Okay baby, I love you." He says when he comes over and gives you kisses.

Vinnie gets back into the game and you "take a nap." In reality you are thinking of a way you can get what you want. The idea hits you, a pillow under the desk that's "for hera".

You grab one of the decorative pillows and make your way over to Vinnie. You know that he won't hear you coming, so as you approach the desk you get down on your knees and crawl. You don't think Vin can see you but he can and all he does is smirk to himself, he wants to see what your plan is.

You crawl underneath the desk and set the pillow down right in between his legs. You act like you are setting the pillow just right when he glances down at you with a questioning look.

"Its for hera, when she lays down here!" you say with a slight smirk.

"Yeah?" he says with a slightly cocky tone that makes you clench your legs together.

Instead of crawling out the way you came in, you get in between his legs. You place your hands on his knees and give him a small smile. You slowly start to run your hands up his thighs, causing him to spread them and push his hips forward.

Your hands go to his hips as you sit up on your knees, you run the tips of your fingers over the ace of spades tattoo causing him to let out a low groan. You play with the band of his sweats and right when he thinks you are going to pull them down, you run your hands over his bulge instead. He mutes himself on the game and you know you have him where you want him.

"You know better than to tease me bunny, finish what you started or you will come warm my cock while I play." he says with a stern tone.

You will his sweats down and his cock springs out hitting his stomach, leaving a drop of pre cum on his stomach. You swipe your finger through it and suck the finger into your mouth.

"Tastes good daddy." You moan out giving him the best puppy dog eyes that make him melt every time.

You take the base of his cock in your hand and spit on the tip, bringing your hand up to spread it around. As you slowly jerk him off you press small kisses to his tip, still teasing him despite his previous warning. He gives you another warning look, so you take his tip in between your lips and suck.

One of his hands goes to the back of head, pushing you to take more of his cock your mouth.

"Just like that bunny, got the best mouth." He praises you and feels you moan around his cock.

You bob your head up and down, while using your tongue to swirl around him just how he likes. You hear a new round start and that's when you take him all in.

"Fuck, bunny." He says bringing his hands down, making a makeshift ponytail and using that to control you. Completely abandoning the game.

You moan around him and feel him twitch in your mouth, you know he is getting close but he's not wear you want him yet. As you bob your head up and down with his help, you reach a hand down to grab his balls. You squeeze them in your hand and that's when he bucks up into your mouth and twitches.

"Fuck bunny, gonna cum down that pretty throat. Keep going baby." He moans out while his hand relaxes on your head.

That's when you take the opportunity to completely pull away except for your hand on the base his cock. His tip is red and dripping pre cum, the veins on his cock are pulsing and he his pissed. He pushes his chair out a little more and grabs you by the elbow.

"Stand up and take of your clothes off now." he says with lust and anger in his eyes.

You stand and slowly start stripping, once your (his) shirt is off, you take your panties off and throw them over his head but he catches them. He grabs you by the hips and places you on his lap, hovering over his cock.

"What did I tell you slut? Huh?" He almost yells at you.

"Not to tease." he whisper while looking anywhere but his eyes.

He grabs you by the chin making you look at him as he slides you down on his cock. He watches the way your eyebrows furrow together and your mouth drops open, letting out the prettiest moan as he bottoms out.

You run your hands up his arms and put them over his shoulders, getting ready to bounce on his cock when he grabs your hips stopping you.

"Daddy, wanna ride you. Please." You pout at him with the puppy dogs eyes that he loves oh so much.

"No, those eyes aren't going to work this time. I told that if you teased you'd warm my cock and that is what you are going to do." He says while rubbing his thumbs in little circles on your hips.

"But da-" you whine before he interrupts

"No. Now you can either be a good bunny and sit her while I play and maybe i'll let you cum when Im done. Or you can be a whore and not get anything. I'll use you right now to make myself cum and then you'll get off. Which one you want baby?" He asks with most sly smirk.

As you take one of your hands and place it on his cheek, using your thumb to play with his bottom lip you mutter out "Be a good bunny, wanna cum daddy."

He pecks your lips a few times, giggling at his little bunny pouting on his lap all because she lost her own game. "Good choice bunny, wanna feel you make a mess on my cock later."

You whine out knowing he is trying to rile you up more and it's working. You make yourself as comfy as you can with his cock bottomed out in you and not getting anything else from it but the beautiful pressure of him on your sweet spot. You think that maybe if you stay as still as you can it will over quicker.

Right as you lay your head down on his shoulder and he scoots his chair in to start a new game he says something that ruins your whole plan of "staying still"

"Better hope this game I do good, you know a move a lot when I lose. Know you were watching me earlier bunny, me losing is what started this." He says.

You sit up and give it one last go, see if you can get yourself out of this.

"Im sorry daddy, I just can't help it. You look so good baby, wanted to make you feel good." you give him the puppy dog eyes, the pout, and clench around him.

All you get is a slap on the ass and him chuckling while putting his headset on. You are going to be in for a long ride ;)

AHHH LIKE I SAID ITS MORE THAN A BLURB!! THANK YOU TO THE 2 ANONS WHO SENT IN THEIR IDEAS!! I HOPE YALL LIKE THIS! LEMME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS!

[everafterkeiji]

ah! ok, um, is it ok if i request a hc with any of the hq and bnha boys ur comfortable writing for (u can do however many u feel like :)) with an s/o who’s scared of the dark? maybe add a little something about one of them getting glow in the dark stars for y/n’s room and saying that the stars are there in the dark to protect them? idk if that’s cheesy or not lol but yeah, i’m afraid i’m a bit of a scaredy-cat myself so i rush into my room as fast as i can when turning off the lights hehe. anyways, take ur time and take care of yourself ily <33

A/N: and I'm back- im v sorry for taking so long but I'll be posting the haikyuu one in another part but thank you so much for requesting kate love u v much mwah ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ

BNHA Boys Reacting to Y/N being afraid of the dark!

𝐈𝐙𝐔𝐊𝐔 𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐘𝐀 will not hesitate to visit your room often as he could and provides light in the best of ways.

When he first found out, he deeply understood and offered to walk you on your way home when it was getting a little too late from training then he soon found himself nervously knocking your door in the middle of the night to see how you're doing.

"Hey- it's very late but are you o-okay?" He asks, a hand to the back of his neck with worried eyes as you stare at him with a smile- a little embarrassed that you were face to face with him in your sleep wear.

"Honestly, I couldn't sleep properly." You answered while he frowns, upset that you were probably up all night. With an idea lighting up in his mind, he speaks.

"I'll be back okay? Leave the door open for me. I'm just going to get something." He says with a smile while you nodded while he dashes off looking excited. You proceeded to your bed waiting for him, enjoying the light that the open door gave you. A few minutes pass and a panting Deku with multiple objects in hand. You chuckled at the sight while you let him in as he closes the door before letting a flashlight lit the room.

"What's all this?" You asked, pointing to the materials laid out on your bed while a blush creeps up on the boys cheek.

"I thought that I could make more of those light up stars to help you sleep better." Izuku says while your heart flutters at his comment.

"Let's do it then."

𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈 𝐁𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐆𝐎 will be your night light and he'll also be the type to wait until you were asleep so he can make sure you're safe with him.

"What is it- oi stop moving around." Bakugo says while you shuffle in your sheets as your boyfriend questions your nervousness. Was it because it was your first night together? Fair enough, he hasn't known about that fear of yours but he's beginning to put the pieces all at once when he feels your grip on him tighten.

"Sheesh, it's just darkness." He says scoffing before you roll your eyes, pushing him off jokingly while you let your eyes close trying to ease the anxiety.

Seeing that you turned away from him, he sighs before pulling you to him, nudging you with his elbow.

"Look at this." He says while he sits up and you following his actions. The palm of his emits light, surprising you with the sound of a tiny explosion. He continues to hold it out in front of you, seeing the darkness of your room fade being replaced in orange tinted shadows.

"Bakugo- you don't have to do this. I'll be fine." You assured him so he doesn't overuse his quirk before classes. Although it was a small spark, you knew better than to keep him from resting.

"Stop lying. Just.. sleep. I'll be here anyways." The last bit of his sentence trailed off as if he was nervous to show his concern but sighing in defeat, you laid down slinging an arm over his waist, cuddling up on his side enjoying his warmth. You smile at him before speaking.

"Thank you, Katsuki." You bid him before closing your eyes while he sighs as well, wrapping his free arm around your shoulder watching you fall quietly.

He stares at the dirty light up stars on your room while he takes a mental note to remove them since he was always up to help you.

Once he feels how deep in slumber you were, the explosions from his hands die down while he lies with you slowly, careful to not wake you.

He looks at your sleeping state before sighing remembering that you feared this dark room. He then plants a swift kiss on your hair, looking at you once again.

"I'll be right here every day."

𝐄𝐈𝐉𝐈𝐑𝐎 𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐀 would simply let you fall asleep to his nightly stories to make sure your mind doesn't fall on the hands of fear.

"Then Bakugo taught me how to dodge the attack without using my quirk then use my agility instead!" Kirishima rants following some hand movements as you chuckle with you on his chest as he carries on. He feels how your grip has loosened compared to how it was when he first got in bed with you.

With his endless stories, he too notices how your eyes grew heavy.

"Too tired from today?" He asks softly, his hands lost in your hair making it harder to stay awake.

"Not really. I just stayed up too long cause I- got scared." He looks at you with concern, while he intertwines your hands with his.

"Scared of what babe?"

"Is it silly if I say the dark?" He blinks for a second but then he shakes his head before pulling you closer to him before landing a loving kiss to your temple.

"It's never silly, bub. Your savior is here!" He says proudly, a cheeky grin making you laugh as you hold onto him more, closing your eyes as he smiles at the sight of you. From this day onwards, it seems like he's got a new mission but this mission was way easier and more important than the rest because he'd save you thousands of times before seeing you scared to wits.

"You sure are a hero, Eiji."

𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐎𝐃𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐈 would mindlessly offer his embrace.

After seeing how quick you were to run to your room on heavy hours of training when the sun got down, he wondered too much about you. It was either you had your own plans or maybe a certain villain was out to capture you. Both options still got him curious.

So the next day of training and learning about which weaknesses of yours could be encountered in a fight, he hears an answer from you that might have gained his interest on you more.

"I prefer to avoid fights when it's dark." You said to Momo, Shoto looks at you with raised eyebrows but he understood either way. If he had his own fears that got in his way, he's sure that yours can get in your way too. Knowing you two share the same liking to each other, he decided to step up and find a solution to lessen your fear.

So when he was right at your door, knocking lightly, he thinks if his phone provided him with the correct answers.

"Todoroki? Hi, what are you doing here?" You asked him, pulling him softly inside your room while he looks around seeing stars decorating the place. He mentally checks off one of the options seeing that you already bought some of them to ease the fear a bit.

"I overheard you with Yaoyorozu and I'm here to help with this. "

"With—"

You were cut off by the tall boy engulfing you in a sweet embrace with his chin on the crown of your head as his hands were placed on your waist as he disregards his racing heartbeat seeing that he put zero hesitation in doing the top option in his research.

"It's okay to be scared of the dark." he assures you, but your focus wasn't on his words— it was on the fact that held you this close and that he knew about your fear. You were thankful that he didn't think it was childish or pathetic but you were too busy thinking about how his first way of showing his concern was like this.

With that, you hugged him back and with his closed eyes, you two had smiles tugged on your lips.

"Thank you, Shoto."

𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐊𝐈 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈 lets your laugh echo through the room making you forget about all your worries.

Denki has always been charismatic when it comes to you. No matter how many jokes he threw, funny or not, you'd always smile or give him a reaction that he loves to receive but all jokes were sent aside when you mentioned your fear of darkness.

You brought up the topic when Sero had sparked up the conversation of what you hated the most and when you said yours, Kaminari was all ears and his mind began running on how to make things a little better for you. It must've been hard, he thinks. Darkness was everywhere so he had to help.

After some exhaustion from training and frustration from battling with Bakugo, he can tell how you were on edge as you went straight to your room after dinner. He knew sleeping peacefully wasn't going to be easy to accomplish today so he let his feet guide him to your room right when he finished his meal.

"Denki here!" He says while knocking. You open the door and he sees how you've wrapped yourself in a blanket, but your eyes bared no sign that you slept.

"Hey Kami, what're you doing here?" You asked him while he enters your room, pouting at how your lamp had flickering lights meaning it's energy was about to fail you. So, he walks right over to the lamp and places his hand on top of it and uses his quirk to make sure the light doesn't flicker anymore. Seeing that it was working properly again, he realizes he didn't want to leave yet.

"Oh thanks, Denki." You said smiling at him while he sits on your bed with an idea coming to his mind.

"I've got a story to tell!"

And a few minutes later, you've got yourself beside him with his arm draped on your shoulder while your laugh became too loud mixed with his making your sleepiness fade.

"Okay okay but you've got to sleep, Y/N. Don't overwork yourself tomorrow or else." He says with a chuckle while you laid down as he gets off your bed.

"Or else what Denki?"

"You'll find out tomorrow." he says, while you bid him goodnight. He comes closer to you just when you close your eyes as he gives a peck to your cheek while blushing furiously when your eyes opened at his actions. He immediately walks away muttering a quick good night as you chuckled when he sprints to the door making you turn off your lamp with a smile.

"Goodnight, Y/N."

[scoupssolo]

Oohhh tumblr gave me a notification you posted and saw you made some cheolie gifs AND you got my ask? Maybe 2022 is a good year afterall (that and woozi solo heeeyy)

BUT yay!! Im not really friends with skz fans (or i am but I just don't know it nor am I deep in the community anywhere so I'm happy I can share this with ya! But ahh I agree! I mean I understand why it might be uncomfy which is valid but I also think it is ok to watch old content. I mean I think the same way with monsta x like it hurts not to see wonho but I STILL enjoy their old stuff because it is entertaining (yes two different scenarios but I hope you know what I mean) and the first finding skz is so fun!! Alot of the scenes in the show I have seen in like, youtube compilations of funny moments fans should know and I was confused where some of them were from bUt as I watched finding skz I was like "omg I know this now!" Like I always saw the moment of hyunjin wearing those poor slippers in the first episode in many compilations so now I know where it came from (but also poor hyunjin like I was wheezing but I felt bad for him) or like the final episode they are just chaotic lol like their trainee back stories im like what? XD han eating ice cream in his sleep? Thats hilarious but cute also. The Australia is very much wholesome, I was just smiling the entire time. Both chan and felix planning was thoughtful and the fact they shared it with the members makes me feel so warm inside. I can make an entire essay on this episode alone but I won't, I don't think it would send my ask lolol. So yes I agree it is fun watching groups grow and you go back to watch how they started and see them now. They changed but also haven't if that makes sense? (Omg when his hair is fluffy while being blonde!? Jdjajsjjs just yesss. Idk why but it reminds me of an elf? Like blonde fluffy chan is an elf confirmed)

But oohhh that's so interesting to know! I am now going to try to find other end of the year performances they remixed hehe which if I may ask since you are the resident skz president, which is your favorite remix stage they did? Love our self producing beans, very much yes to the svt x skz similarities! Its why I think for me, it was so easy to get into skz (outside of their music of course) due to their dynamic is very much like svt. Plus some ARE friends with each other (minho and seungkwan or vernon and chan are friends!)

I think that is all for now? Until our next chit chat and hopefully my ask doesn't get lost in space cx happy new year once again! May the new year be filled with good things for ya dreamy!

HI!, sorry i was so tired yesterday i didnt have the brain power to answer this and i wanted to make sure I could l. Im s excited for Woozi's solo i feel like his is THE one i've been waiting for since i got into svt because its Woozi arfsgfda

I also agree its a tricky position to become a fan of a group after a member has left, no matter what the circumstances are (skz being v different from mx but i totally understand what you meant) I know when I get into groups i also watch a billion compilations of things and its always so exciting to see where they're from when you start to really dive deep. skz i think also has a lot of moments in their content that somehow doesnt make it into comps a lot even though I think theyre some of their funnier moments so it really is satisfying to go deep diving for them in particular.

Let's see if i can remember some of their changed stage mixes lol

Theres this Side effects | I am You (ballad Version) | Victory Song | and obviously all their kingdom performances were super changed versions of songs. Also all of their end of the year performances in 2020 of gods menu had different mixes and dance breaks (poor Chris so much remixing of that song lmao) my favorite is the I am you from this concert (it's at 1:15:10) also heres the second half if you just wanna see the whole concert lol

I know that Minho and Seungkwan are definitely friends, and that all of svt definitely know skz. most recently in Jenghan's live he talked about Minho accidentally starting a live from the skz staff account asfgd and Chris has said multiple times that svt is a group that really takes care of skz which obviously makes me wanna scream and cry :D

[ao3-sucks]

my own ao3 experience was that i got into it when i was in a huge fandom that had a bunch of underage and incestuous pairings and fics. i really started getting into it when i was like fresh into middle school and not soon after that id start reading a bunch of explicit fics. basically pretty sure reading that stuff is what made me feel anxious around my 2 older siblings and like if i showed any kind of affection like even a hug or just laughing at a joke sometimes itd be seen as a sign of attraction. im in my 20s now and it still really affects me. i feel like less valid with my online trauma somehow bc i did it to myself lol.

  Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

I got manipulated by an adult into writing an extremely triggering fic about rape and abuse between two young siblings, and ended up having to draw on my own traumatic experiences for it. I pretended to be okay with it, and let them say it was my fault it was like that, and when I finally got tired of hiding it and publicly called them out on it, multiple people defended them, using that pretense against me. I still haven't fully recovered from that. Sometimes I wonder if it really was my fault. 

Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

thank you SO MUCH for this blog, I was groomed into thinking the wildest of things were acceptable by fandom people, and it wasnt until i was about 15 or 16 that i finally wised up and dropped the thinking once and for all. thank you again and have a really good week!

Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

I don’t really know how old the post that talked about the experience of one of the mods with ao3 is, but just in case, this is about that post that had mentions of r//pe and @“cest. And damn, I’ve never stopped to think that my aversion to sex maybe came from my early exposure to that kind of stuff, now I know that I’m asexual, but it’s comforting to see that I’m not alone in this, so thank you for sharing your story

Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

god this is probably stupid and you dont have to post this if you don't want to, but thank you so much for making this page. ive had similar experiences in online fandom and ive really struggled with classifying any of it as "real" since it was all online. that post talking about your experience with everything was really eye opening for me. thank you for reminding me im not alone.

Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

wrt your ao3 essay // thank you for sharing your story about ao3. ive had some similar experiences, but i never interacted with anyone on ao3, just read ff. in around a 1-2 years of consuming that content, i had developed some psychosis relating to sexual trauma, but i never had anything happen to me so i didnt really know what to think. i was just scared. its nice to know that.. it wasnt just random? that more people are talking about this? something like that. thank you. i hope you are well.

Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

i just read through your experiences and while i was never really involved with fanfiction during my childhood, i WAS exposed to plenty of other weird interactions on other sites starting probably as early as 11  and just realized that me starting to use the internet more probably coincides with me showing similar things such as starting to hate being touched and consider myself asexual/sex repulsed. it was nothing that i'd considered to be that impactful or big a deal before and there weren't really specific people to blame, but i definitely don't know how to feel about this knowledge now.

Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

just read that post abt your ao3 experience and holy fuck, so sorry you had to go through that. but also, thank you. its scary to think tht ive cldve been in the same situation since i was browsing the internet from a v young age. i was huge into roleplaying and thereve been a few times where it became, uuh... not completely sfw (unknowingly to me, i just wanted to rp). but the moment it became too weird, i ghosted n blocked (i had a very anti-internet-stranger policy). again, thanks. take care

Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

I was 12 when I got my first ship. I got into it because of the cute art online and I never once thought about it being bad. It was pedophilic amongst other things. I just started writing fic, so I wrote for this ship. I was asked to write straight up human AU "porn where xyz is a pedo" by people far older than me. I didn't know any better, I wrote it and every other request like it. It go so bad that I though that pedophilia was OKAY. It took me so long to unlearn that and many other things because of that ship and I still feel bad for ever having shipped it. So when people say things like "fiction doesn't effect reality" it makes me mad. It teaches little kids that things like pedophilia and rape are okay.

I opted to answer these as a group because they are all so similar. It breaks my heart how often I get anons, post replies, and reblogs about my AO3 essay from people saying that my experiences closely mirrored theirs. I hope that everyone who has sent me these messages can forgive themselves for what happened to them, and know that it’s not your fault that other people decided to take advantage of you. I’m working on healing, and I hope you can all do the same.

- Mod Daft

[schizosupport]

does it still count as a delusion if I think I'm stupid to believe that and that its obviously its not real but I still have like flight/fight/freeze to the thoughts/wrongly percieved event/things in the corner of my eye, or get really scared? Like I don't think that I'm correct in thinking the thing and I don't think it makes sense/has been proven wrong by the person and by testing it lol but also I have a reasoning behind it and still think it? Esp if some of the specific paranoias are very transient (or don't come back) and sometimes triggered by horror content (damn tma t-t) or v stress related ??? I'm trying to figure out if I'm just prodomal probably (bcus I have like a million environmental and genetic risks and Im 16) or actually having delusions now lol ¡¡p but it might be substance induced so :p this stuff has been going on since like, last june maybe and when I started smoking almost everyday since august

(2) HI IM THE PERSON TALKING ABT THE DELUSIONS AND POSSIBLY BEING SUBSTANCE INDUCED !! I think I've also had an increase in negative symptoms in that approximately 1 year time frame than before, even though I'm autistic so experience a lot of the things they list in that stuff :p but that could be because I went through a traumatic relationship or because I've been unmasking over time since I'm not in public and been trying to acknowledge my needs during quarantine :p (3)  hi sorry for using all caps yesterday :(((( I didn't mean to make anybody distressed in any way. Also is thinking as a kid that people may be controlled by larger beings like sims and whenever we die thats because they got bored with us normal weird kid beleifs or ?? Or like after watching truman show I was always thinking abt if I was like it and I still kinda act like there could possibly always be a camera on me or someones watching me but my dad talked about putting cameras around the house and one time when I was getting on my phone because he had taken it away from me a notification popped up on his computer that I was using my phone and if he wanted to look at my screen so maybe its just me being scared cus of that even tho I dont live with him anymore :p and I have no reason to believe he or anyone else actually has access to my phone but they do and its really scary :'((((

Hi anon!

No need to apologize, you’re good, and you didn’t distress me! 

I am very brain-tired there days which makes it hard for me to respond thoroughly, but I’m going to attempt anyways. 

The exact definition of delusions vs magical thinking, paranoid ideation and anxiety can be hard to figure out, and the professionals may have varying opinions as well. The main question, to me, would be - are you very distressed by these thoughts? Are they hindering your ability to live life to its fullest?

If the answer is yes, then I find it less important what they are, and rather I would urge you to look into getting some help managing these symptoms. At the end of the day, knowing the name of what’s going on with you can feel empowering, but it doesn’t actually help much if it isn’t accompanied by an increase in support, understanding and potentially treatment.

Another thing is, you said you’ve been smoking almost every day - from the context I’m guessing you’re talking about weed? 

I know that a lot of people do feel like weed can alleviate some discomfort, and I’m not the authority on drug-use by any means, but I think that a daily intake of any drug, can be a cause for alarm. - No matter if that’s alcohol, weed or “harder” drugs. Especially in people who are susceptible to psychosis (which you seem to be), weed can have a negative effect, and it can definitely increase some symptoms, or even increase the likelihood of a full-blown episode. 

I know it’s easier said than done, and you probably have your reasons for smoking as much as you do, but from a mental health perspective, it does blur the picture. And it can make it harder to get the help you need, because you risk either professional writing off your symptoms as “purely druginduced” or alternatively, they ignore the smoking, and think that you’re more psychotic than you would normally be, which could also lead to the wrong treatment.

(Say for example, you’re smoking to cope with a certain set of symptoms (eg. adhd)- then that smoking causes psychotic symptoms - they treat that with antipsychotics. Now if your original problem was adhd, you would have been better off with a prescription for that, instead of having to take two mind-altering substances as patches on patchwork solutions)

Honestly I’m not the best to ask about the border between delusion and anxiety - professionals have repeatedly told me I’ve long since crossed the border (hence why I’m diagnosed as schizophrenic) but in my own mind I’m still just “a very anxious person”...

I hope this was at least a bit helpful, my computer is lagging and so is my brain, so I’m going to wrap this up here.

Best of luck anon!

Cat

[hongism]

Hello caly/calypso/hongism/author of one of the best (of THE best, perhaps?) Ateez fanfics to grace the internet! This is gonna be long af dream stuff but

It is I, the poly of the roly, here to tell you:

Last night or sometime recently (it's hard for me to keep track of the days because I work 12 hour shifts overnight) I'd checked your blog as I do every couple days to a week depending how busy I am and saw the ask that was about the moc update and you were all sure let me put my life on hold real quick no BIG ! (BTW I haven't checked yet but if you've still got all that work ahead of you I hope you're taking GOOD care of yourself and getting plenty of rest 😤 and I will send good vibes to wherever you are so if you find random money or a stranger buys you a sandwich or something then I'll pretend it's because my vibes so good vibes so strong) so anyway I had seen that right after I got home from work and then passed right out so in my dream you ended up uploading the next chapter because a bunch of people had been hounding for an update and you were v v upset and didn't want to answer any asks understandably but THEN. then. Moc got turned into a TV show and it was fuckin COOL caly, way cooler than I'd ever imagined. And then because dream things it shifted from me watching it as a TV show to it being the reality i was in and at first I was y/n until I was like wait but I'm not a girl and then y/n was you (kind of, she was called Calypso, Caly for short and I don't really remember what she looked like besides brown hair which is what I've always pictured y/n with so she was you? But like your online persona I guess lol) and we were preparing to go rescue San and there was a LOT of tension between y/n and Seonghwa (also when my dream supplied you as y/n I remember thinking like o shit now we're gonna get a LOT of tension between her and joong lmao). I don't really remember what my story was like how I ended up there, I think I was just enlisted randomly for help like someone knew of my status and sought me out? But originally I was pretending to be a spectre when I was actually a normie who was very good at rogue-esque shit. Jongho was my first friend because y/n wouldn't talk to me cause I guess I was a lil too sus for her. Later Yunho and I became friends through constantly making faces at each like we were on the office whenever anything awkward happened between seonghwa and y/n trying to skirt around each other (I think seonghwa and hongjoong were together....? I don't remember!) and eventually there was some *other* stuff between Yunho and I at WHICH POINT. IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT I WAS APPARENTLY A SIREN BUT HAD LITERALLU NO MEMORY OF IT BEVAUSE *serum thingz* AND had no access to the dreamscape or didn't realize I was there when dreaming once again I do not remember. But basically it's my dream so it had to make me special lmfao also I don't remember anything about the actual mission but we got San back and there was a really cute reunion with him and all the crew but ALSO a very long awaited SMOOCH between San and y/n with hands squeezing each other's faces as if to make sure they'll never disappear again it was so cute. And then I realized I had a lot of shit to work out since I had a whole life I needed to figure out so once it was all over, I left without much of a goodbye and it stopped showing it from my pov and more like I was watching it like a show again and so for a few episodes of the moc TV show yunho had a short lived but very fiery romance with a normie-pretend-spectre-actually-siren who slipped quietly off the ship with little more than a pat on Yunhos shoulder v.v thank you for reading my dream fanfiction moc TV show sorry it was so long and BASICALLY WENT NOWHERE

-- rolypoly (also I forgot to mention but in my dream when I saw that you'd updated because you were tired of people bothering you about an update I was very bummed for you and didn't even read it. But I did watch the TV show. Although I didn't really have a choice because my eyes were basically a camera at that point. Dream stuff fun stuff)

BESTIE THIS WAS A WHOLE TRIP AND A HALF?!?!? ngl im pretty tipsy rn so it's even more of a trip than the first time i read it goodness im in love with this concept tho like yunho deserves it moc needs more drama as we all know it doesn't have NEARLY enough drama as it is!??! altho i must say,,,,,, an ? a ? for some reason saying a moc outloud sounds really wrong but anyways that's not even important at all just a tv show after moc would be so fun i would watch it i would love it i love that idea but don't you worry im not posting that chapter until i'm happy with it, so sadly that means everyone has to wait a little while longer for it to be up to my standards 😔💔

[madisonrooney]

hi it's your secret santa! first of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! i hope you have a wonderful day! how are you celebrating, if you are at all? safely, i hope! either way i hope you manage to find a way to have a great day full of love!! consider my christmas gift a belated birthday gift as well lol. anyway i loved reading your last answer, it was so thoughtful and sweet. i realized after reading that i barely know anything about dove lol so follow up q: what about dove makes you love her so much?

sorry for the late response! the last couple days have been v busy and ive been super tired and dissociative on top of it so i made a point to save this bc i wanted to give it my full attention!

first of all thank you!! i was going to do a virtual meet and greet with one of my favs from jersey boys but he got confused about timezones so we rescheduled but were doing it next week! then i went to a virtual walt disney family museum panel, had pizza for dinner and watched some liv and maddie, my mom made a cookie cake that we ate while watching the grinch musical, and then some friends and i watched the jersey boys movie together over skype!

im so glad you enjoyed reading my last answer! and oof thats another loaded question (i love it tho)

- like i said when first talking about what drew me to her and liv and maddie, a big thing is just how much passion and love she puts into her characters. ofc she puts passion into every character she plays, but its the passion she puts into characters like liv, maddie, and mal that means the most to me. that goes back to the fact that ive dealt with a lot of negativity directed towards me for enjoying disney channel, and then you have dove out here saying “yah im a teenager/twenty-something who not only respects what theyre doing on disney channel, but puts my all into it” not to mention she even won an emmy for playing liv and maddie in season 4! i hope that passion and talent has started to change the conversation about disney channel, and tbh i think it has at least a bit.  ofc, none of this is to say other people her age acting on disney channel arent talented and passionate, but idk, something about her has always stood out to me. i find her to be more animated and expressive than most. it can be hard for me to read emotions in live action movies and shows, so thats been really important for me. not to mention she was not only playing the lead but TWO lead characters on a four season show with distinct personalities but also subtle similarities. AND the main character in the biggest DCOM franchise in years for 5 years running now. PLUS the fact that there was a period where those were both happening at the same time. she was only 16 when she started all this and hadnt even had any big roles prior to it!! she had a lot of responsibility so it was amazing to see her not only pull it off, but excel at it.

- i just love like....her aesthetic?? shes always seemed to be a very old soul to me, into old jazz music and poetry and stuff like that. its just very charming. and for her to have that aesthetic on top of being a disney channel actress is a fascinating juxtaposition.

- this is kind of sappy and it gets tiring to hear it said over and over again but that doesnt mean it isnt true: i love how transparent she is about her struggles with mental health issues, trauma, and such. she has been for a long time but even more so over the last year or two. no shade to anyone else, but a lot of actors dont really give you a look into their personal lives, they just share and promote their product. im not saying theres anything wrong with that, its good to know what youre comfortable sharing, ive just felt all the more close to her with her being as open as she is, especially as someone who has gone through trauma myself, albeit different from hers.

- kind of connected to that, i love how important spreading kindness, positivity, and love is to her. thats another thing thats been said a million times but still, its very important to me.

for example. she’ll randomly tweet things like “i love you” a lot. im one to always think of the thought process that goes on behind whatever someone posts, texts, etc., bc personally i put a lot of a thought into pretty much anything i say or do before i put it out there publicly, probably bc of my social anxiety. even tho its a simple statement and takes her a couple seconds to post, she still had to have the thought “i want to remind my fans that theyre loved” or something along those lines. and she has this thought FREQUENTLY. to just randomly get a notification every few days or weeks or so of her saying something like that is just very heartwarming to me.

the reason i connected with miley so much when she helped me through my initial trauma was bc it felt like even if no one loved me, she loves her fans, thus she loves me. thus the person i love and admire the most loves me. even if its only one person, it can be enough. it was for me at the time. i feel that same way with dove. when she came into my life, i didn’t feel as unloved, but her love was still helpful to me.

- of course i need to specifically talk about her kindness in person too. dont get me wrong (ive been saying that a lot havent i lol), i totally and completely loved her long before i met her, but naturally, i love her 10x more after the experiences ive had getting to know her in person.

i could go ONNNNNNN about the experiences ive had with her, and i have lol, and if you already heard me ramble about this in the server i apologize, but the most important thing ive taken away from every encounter ive had with her is this: she always goes the extra mile. she always goes out of her way to make people feel special. what i mean by that is she could say/do HALF as much as she has when meeting me and i would still leave over the moon feeling loved. you can tell she does this in excess bc she really truly means it and cares about people like me, she doesnt have any kind of ulterior motive and isnt just going through the motions doing whats asked of her, she simply cares about me and the rest of her fans. some examples - the first time we met, i was sobbing (lol) and she hugged me for a really long time, rocking me back and forth, brushing my hair with her thumb, calling me sweetheart and honey. she even started to tear up a bit herself. - a couple months later, i went to my first liv and maddie taping. i was preparing to reintroduce myself (i looked a little different bc id been cosplaying as maddie the first time i met her) and ofc when preparing myself, i fantasized pretty heavily as i usually do and pictured myself showing her the pic of us on my phone, her gasping, jumping out of her chair screaming, and hugging me, thinking that was probably way more than i was gonna get. that is EXACTLY what happened. then she went on to tell me how my costume made her whole weekend. things like this would continue to happen where i would set the bar impossibly high and not only would she meet it but she’d exceed it. - our usual interaction from there on would start with her face lighting up when she saw me, her calling me some kind of cute name like love or baby, and then hugging me without me even having to initiate it. - when i saw her in mamma mia, i didnt know when id be seeing her again afterwards after pretty consistently getting to see her for 2 years, so i wanted to make sure we got some kind of closure. at the stage door, i reminded her how much she meant to me and just expected like an “aww i love you too” or something back, but she said “you are an angel in my life” and i will never forget that. obvs, i havent told her ALL the details about what she and her characters mean to me but like...she can tell. she can tell if im in a homemade maddie costume sobbing into her arms that theres something there, and shes VERY appreciative of that. - i thankfully got to see her at a meet and greet a few months later and every time i thought i should get going cuz i didnt want to hold the line up, she would just open her arms for another hug. speaking of being appreciative, she even said “thank you for being such a supportive fan.” as i left, i turned around to say one last goodbye. i made sure she wasnt with the next fan yet and yelled out “bye!” and she yelled back “I LOVE YOU!!” and blew me a kiss. again, its the little things. - i saw her at a small panel in new york a few months after that. she walked in the room when the lights were down as they were playing a clip, she quietly waved hi to everyone, then saw me and loudly whispered HI BABY!!! and stopped on her way to the stage to give me a hug. (then she looked at me from the stage and asked which way i thought she should cross her legs for the interview lol) - sometimes when she sees im next in line, shell give me a knowing smile or whisper “hi baby!!” or something like that. she saw me in the crowd after clueless and seemed to make a point to come to me last bc she knew wed be talking for a while, which we did. she even told me she’d seen me in the audience, asking if i was in the front on the left, which i was.

even all that is still just scratching the surface. weve “known” each other for 5 years now and every time i think she’s done the most she can do, she outdoes herself again. not to mention when im at these events, i see her treat all the fans she meets with all of that kindness too. naturally all of this has made me love her all the more.

- finally, lets just be honest here..........................shes REALLY fucking hot.

[mayapenelopeclutterbucket]

*SPOILERS* for TGD 3x12 “Mutations” aka this is me typing from the dead because this episode gave me more then one heart attack 😭🙏🏼

Also I’m sorry this post got so long I’m just so excited/happy Jesus Christ like wow just wow

So I wasn’t initially going to watch this live because I have work at 5 in the morning 🙃 and because I wouldn’t be able to pause it while my hands try to keep up with my thoughts but it’s been so long since I’ve been able to do it and I missed it despite my hatred of commercials lol so wish me luck!

Also I’m very very excited for the melendaire content we’re getting tonight since they’re working together again and I’m freakin hoping at this prom they throw Melendez either does a double take at how nice Claire looks OOOOR we get him asking her dance 😭 just SOMETHING PLZZZ

I haven’t even started the ep yet and already can’t wait to see some of the moments in hd tomorrow once it comes on Hulu 😂

I can’t believe shaun is really gonna move out like I get where Carly is coming from but shaun is allowed to have female friends and after some theories from the last ep I’m worried shaun only told Carly he loved her so she wouldn’t leave him like “everyone else”

Aww adorable these two are so cute and Claire thinks they’re adorable as well and imma sue abc if one half of that couple dies or even worse BOTH

Melendaire group chat finally popping again 😭 although I don’t text back until break I love y’all tho 💕💕

So secret checkups with glassy and Morgan 👀 when are ppl gonna find out about her arthritis for the drama~~

Oh my god since when does Melendez go in there for MRIs it’s so just to see Claire oh my god Melendez being in love with Claire and her usual compassion

Omg cuties joking about Claire going to therapy and it working well and talking about love and being happy

Like why else have them interact like that omfgggg I can’t not even five minutes in and we were already getting melendaire content 😭 THEYRE SOULMATES

God damn it I knew it something was gonna happen to the girl since the guy is a okay

Well damn that medication Morgan is on for her arthritis is FUCKING her up smh 🤦🏻‍♀️

Aww all she wanted was one prom but we know Claire will make it happen for her

Aww them talking about prom and Melendez wanting Claire’s answer and her talking about her mom so freely and then going to see glassy together THE MELENDAIRE MOMENTS KEEP COMING 🙏🏼

The fact the writers were just like fuck park lmao he doesn’t even need to be in this scene with Melendez & Claire or instead of Claire 😂

I’m surprised Carly didn’t say anything about lea knowing their business again

Lmaoo Andrews calling Morgan out about sucking up and her owning it

Claire you are not sorry for overstepping don’t lie lol

Sharly working together professionally how adorable

Park is so annoying I’m v done with him he has no soul IM TIRED OF IT

I have missed Claire being pushy to help her patients

I’m glad Carly’s smarts and her being badass scenes are being extended past the lab

Oof Melendez being supportive of his boo and unsurprised of Claire wanting to make their patient happy (BECAUSE HE LOVES HER FOR IT AND IS GRATEFUL HE GETS TO WORK WITH HER REMEMBER) and wanting her to find a way around the mom 😭😭

God I love these two

Oof trouble with sharly has risen

Awww Carly and shaun getting each other and their ideas and finishing each other’s sentences l*mlendez could NEVER but melendaire could 😂 sorry cheap shot I know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Glassy is gonna out Morgan on her arthritis soon I feel it

Wow a shaire moment when was the last time they shared a fucking scene like they’re supposed to be besties wtf happened writers?!!? Aaaand it’s over in like a minute

😭😭 Claire is such an angel she’s the freakin BEST

Carly using science to explain how she feels to shaun cute

Oh my god no you can’t use an Ed sheeran song with cancer patients 😭😭 that makes it 20x sadder

Melendez and Claire are totally staring at each other in awe omg

Omg Claire Melendez are chaperones park no where to be found y’all know what that MEANS and they’re the only other people there they better fucking dance together omg I can’t he just said Claire looked to be feeling idiotic happiness 😭

AND HOLY FUCKING SHIT I WAS RIGHT I FROZE AND COULDNT BREATHE BUT MELENDEZ REALLY DID ASK CLAIRE TO DANCE AND THEY DID HOLY SHIT I CANNOT BELIEVE WE GOT THAT MELENDAIRE MOMENT I’VE BEEN DYING AND WAITING FOR SINCE I SAW THE BTS SCENE OF CLAIRE IN THAT OUTFIT AND FOUND OUT THIS EP WAS GONNA BE A PROM EP I had to type all that after the moment ended so I could really experience it since I can’t pause OR rewind but I was yelling oh my god so much my sister had to ask if I was okay 😂😭 I had a heart attack when he asked her if she wanted to dance ngl

Claire being inspirational and giving good speeches again I love her so much and am so glad she’s doing better

Carly you better not have changed your MEDICAL opinion because you wanted it to align with Shaun’s 🙄

Wow glassy you really had no other ideas nor could you jump in I hate him

The melendaire exchanging looks scenes are back in action

Wow that Carly and shaun moment was super adorable him calling her idea perfect and brilliant and her being brilliant and almost perfect 😭

Man they really said fuck park this ep huh he isn’t with Claire and Melendez again

But boy shit no she died 😩😩

Wtf why can’t Claire and her patients ever catch a BREAK like leave Claire ALONE and omg does Claire being heartbroken again mean we get another Melendez comforting Claire scene?! Becaus the way he stared after her after she ran off 👀👀 oof is NOT platonic lol

Aww sharly held hands to comfort and support each other

Holy shit I was right suck it katie @pinkobsessedfreak (I’m just kidding I love you 😂💕💕) for bringing the group chat down and shutting my theory down

BECAUSE GUESS WHAT WE SERIOUSLY GOT MELENDEZ GOING AFER CLAIRE WITH ANOTHER STAIRS AND BALCONY SCENE AND HIM COMFORTING HER AND MAKING HER FACE HER FEELINGS AND TELLING HER ITS OKAY TO BE ANGRY AT HER MOM (I was robbed of a hug but it’s okay I got everything else I fucking needed tonight) and now he has an idea for with something that makes him feel better

That fake out 😂😂

Wow oh wow this ep really was chock full of melendaire moments NOW THEYRE BONDING BY MELENDEZ AND CLAIRE RUNNING TOGTHER AND HIM HELPING WITH HER GRIEF AND AND EMOTIONS AND TEASING EACH OTHER OH MY GOOOOOD IVE DIED AND COME BACK TO LIFE SO MANY TIMES THIS EP SO IM SORRY IF THIS POST IS SO LONG

don’t y’all love how lim was in this epcand yet we didn’t get a SINGLE l*’mlendez ep because I sure af do!!! Also park who?? Lmao he was hardly in this ep even tho he working the same patient with Melendez and Claire they really shoved him out to make these endless melendaire moments happen

SLOW BURN BABY WE BACK IN FUCKING BUSINESS

Also in other news shaun lost his v card and it looks like we’ll get some more Morgan angst with her mom possibly dying or some shit like that like man these writers really don’t want any of the residents and doctors to have good parents or alive ones for that matter lmao

Also some breznick moments which will be cute

YALL IM STILL SO EXCITED FROM TONIGHT LIKE OMG THIS SHOW THIS SHIP GETS ME EVERY TIME I CANT WAIT TO GIF IT TOMORROW 😭😭 like I can’t get over it I’m in SHOCK still

We’ve really gotten Melendez comforting Claire not once not twice BUT THREE TIMES this season. This really is our season and people try to say Melendez treats all his residents like he does Claire or that he has done the same for others before YEAH FUCKING RIGHT

Okay I’m done I think freaking out at least on this post freak out about it in the comments with me tho or my ask or by reblogging just be happy with me okay 😂

P.S. check out my melendaire gifset that’s not showing up in the tags 🙃

[reminiscing-writer]

Boys Can Be Victims Too

A while ago, I got to thinking about how I haven’t read many pieces on here where the guys are the victims to domestic violence- I realized I wanted to try to write something out.

Warning: domestic violence/abuse, harsh words, Reid crying

ALSO- just FYI- Im writing this as pre-prison Spencer, because I believe after prison Spence wouldn’t take shit from anyone. Whereas, before, he would be more vulnerable to just be loved. I just love this gif of him lol

—————

“O’Keefes, anyone?” Those two words leaving Morgan’s mouth was all it took for the whole group to start cheering. The team had just arrived back to Quantico office after a two week long case. Granted, everyone was beyond exhausted, but, they also wanted to unwind a bit.

A vary of ‘hell yes!’, ‘it’s on you!’, and ‘can’t wait’s, stir among the few of the group, as all the agents make their way towards the elevator doors.

Y/n shifts her bags shoulder strap, and as she’s about to get into the elevator, notices a missing presence. “Hey,” she glances around everyone’s faces, “Spence already down?” She asks.

Derek takes his shades off his face, and folds them onto the front of his V-Neck, “I think I heard him say he was too tired.” He gives a tired shrug.

She steps back out of the elevator, “I’ll meet you guys there, then. I’ll just check what’s up with him.” After giving a nod and wave, her colleagues leave and she turns back into the office.

Spencer has his back towards the large glass doors through which y/n enters.

“I know... yeah, I’m sorry.” She could barely hear him whisper, “I promise, I’ll make it up to you.” He scratches the back of his neck, “I love you.” He stays on the phone for a second longer before shoving it into his pocket.

Y/n clears her throat, not to startle him, and he turns around, “You not coming?” She cocks her head to him.

He shuffles his feet, and shakes his head, “No, uh- Emelie is waiting for me.” He smiles half-heartedly, avoiding eye contact.

Y/n smiles softly, happy hearing he has someone waiting for him at home, “That’s nice,” she bites the inside of her cheek, wishing it was her at home instead, “tell her I say hey.”

Spence almost scoffs lightly, “Yeah.” He breaths.

-

Because of the late arrival the day before, the team was off the following day. Y/n was making her way to Spencer’s home. He always loved the mozzarella sticks O’Keefes had as appetizers, and y/n couldn’t help but pack some as takeaway to give to him the next morning.

She knew they weren’t exactly going to be edible the next day, but she honestly just wanted a reason to see him.

Coming up the few steps leading up to his front door, she knocks softly, taking a step back. She plays with the top of the rolled up greasy paper bag in her hands.

The door opens— barely, and a familiar face peeks out. “Y/n? What- What are you doing here?” Spencer asks almost rushed.

She holds up the little baggie, a smile on her lips, “I got some of the mozzarella sticks you like so much.” She hands him the bag, “We missed you last night.” I miss you last night. She thought to herself.

“You really didn’t have to do that,” he takes a quick glance behind his shoulder, “thank you, though.”

Y/n couldn’t help but feel like Spencer didn’t want her there. “You want to maybe grab a bite later?” She offered, “I feel like we haven’t just hung out... in months.” She reminisces.

His eyes almost soften and a sad look glazes them, “I can’t,” he gulps, turning her down, causing her chest to ache, “maybe some other time.” He gives her an empty promise.

Y/n opens her mouth to try and continue a desperate conversation with her best friend, just to hear an unfamiliar female voice from behind Spence.

“Who is it, Baby?”

Spencer’s head whips around and in seconds he spits out, “Nobody,” he locks eyes with y/n, “just an office colleague.” He breaks eye contact, and looks down, “He was just leaving, though.”

Y/n furrows her brows slightly, trying to get an answer without saying anything. Without another word from her friend, he closes the door, and she’s left on the doorstep.

Spencer leans against the closed door, just to be greeted by a short haired blonde come out from the bedroom. He quickly hides the little bagged treat behind his back.

“Your friend gone?” She asks, cocking her head.

“Uh- Yeah. He just came by to grab some paperwork.” Spence licks his dry lips, and scratches the back of his neck, his one hand trying not to make the paper bag rustle behind him

“He couldn’t wait till tomorrow?” She asks, narrowing her blue eyes at him. Slowly walking towards him, he subconsciously cowers back into the door he’s up against. The bag squishes behind him.

He’s trying to form words, desperately trying to make a sentence, “It was for a case he’s on. He’s new on it, so he doesn’t know what he’s working on. It’s really no big deal. He’s got the info now, and he shouldn’t be back.” He rambles, swallowing hard, looking down at the girl standing inches apart from him.

She stares back at his brown eyes, showing no emotion. “Sweetheart,” she strokes his cheek. Even though her touch is soft, he still flinches slightly. “you know I don’t like when you lie to me.” Her words are spoken so quietly, a chill runs up Spencer’s spine. Her hand goes from his cheek up into his hair, and she grabs a handful of his hair, pulling him down to her height- causing his breath to hitch. She holds his face inches from hers, ripping the bag out from behind him. Not breaking eye contact, she throws the baggie across the room, causing to hit a wall, leaving a little grease trail as it falls down. Spencer’s breathing is heavy, and his eyes water- one, because his hair was being tugged so hard at the roots, and two, because he knew what was coming.

“We’ll talk about this after dinner, love.” She growls, her eyes dark. She let’s go of her grip on him in such a way, his head hits the door behind him with a bang, causing him to fall, groaning in pain.

-

It was hot. Of course it was, it was the middle of July. It was hot, and y/n, for the life of her, couldn’t fathom why Spencer would wear a sweater inside the office.

They were best friends Once Upon A Time, but lately, he had seemed to be ignoring her. And, y/n was taking full offense.

If she entered a room, he would politely excuse himself. If y/n spoke up during round-table discussions, Spence would make a point not to talk at all. The one that hurt y/n the most, was when he was standing in the break room all alone, and she purposely went in to try and figure out his problem.

She politely asked him if she had done something to upset him.

“No,” he spat back, pouring his coffee, “You didn’t do anything.”

“Sure feels like I did,” she steps closer, “You’re treating me like I hurt you. You’re being so mean-”

At that, he scoffs, and for the first time all day— for the first time in a long time, he looks straight at her. She’s taken aback at the sight of the dark under his eyes, and the red lining them. Had he been... crying?

“I’m being mean? Y/n,” he steps closer to her, “you don’t know the meaning of mean.” He says roughly. She searches his empty eyes, and hears a hurt in his voice. He steps around her, and she quickly turns with him.

“Spence, hold on-” She habitually grabs his wrist pulling him towards her. His sleeve shifts up, and her eyes catch a glimpse of discoloration on his arm.

Bruises. Tons of them.

Her eyes widen as he snatches his arm back, fixing his sweater. He leaves the breakroom and y/n chases after him. “Spencer!” She calls after him desperately.

He gets to his bullpen and places his coffee down. As she gets closer to him, he sternly says, “Leave me alone, y/n.”

“No.” Is all she answers, looking at him intently. His cheeks were sunken in, and his brown eyes had lost their glow.

He gives her a deathly glare from behind his locks, “I said,” he growls, sizing her up, pushing his shoulders back, “Leave. Me. Alone.”

“Absolutely,” y/n crosses her arms across her chest, “Fucking. Not.” She holds eye contact, “Confrence room. Now.” She growls back at him.

The two had attracted the attention of many of their colleagues. To everybody else, this seemed like what was needed for the two. Everyone knew that Spencer and y/n were like two peas in a pod. Everyone had also been noticing the drift between the two, and frankly, a little screaming would at least get out their frustrations.

“Y/n, I’m not in the mood for your bullshit-”

“Neither am I, Reid.” She spits his name back at him.

He huffs and stomps his way towards the empty room. Y/n follows right behind. Slamming the door behind her, it takes seconds for their voices to come out at top volume.

“What the hell is that?!” Y/n screamed first, motioning to his arm.

“None of your goddamn business, that’s what!” He fired back.

“Spencer, if someone is hurting you, it is my business!” Spencer shakes his head, pacing the room. Huffing and puffing, he runs a hand through his hair. “Spencer,” y/n repeats sternly, yet slightly calmer than before, “what’s going on?” Her eyes are trained on the man before her.

His hands start to shake, and gulping, he uneasily pulls at the bottom of his sweater. “It- it was just one time.” He says barely above a whisper. His eyes dart everywhere but to meet y/n.

Y/n peers at him, and steps closer, “What are you talking about?” She urges.

“She was just having a bad day,” he stops pacing, and turns away from his friend, “it was my fault, I got her upset even though she told me exactly what to do.” Spencer’s eyes started to water, and he quickly sniffles and wipes at nose and eyes- and basically his whole face.

Y/n’s heart sunk. She didn’t know how to react. She had always confronted the female victims whenever they were on a case, but never in a million years had she thought she would be having this conversation with her best friend- much less, her best guy friend.

“Spence,” y/n spoke barely above a whisper, “does Emelie hit you?” She didn’t want to believe it. Hell, neither did Spencer.

Spence quickly turns around, his eyes red, and his face already streaked in tears, “No! No, no, no. I told you, it was just once.” He sounded so desperate, as if clinging onto some false hope.

“Spencer, you know better than what you’re saying.” Y/n spoke slowly, “She’s abusing you.”

She could physically see Spencer’s bottom lip wobble, “No,” He squeaks out, shaking his head, “no, she’s not. She loves me. She tells me every day.” He hides his face behind his sleeve covered hands.

Y/n sees his shoulders shaking, and although her own chest aches, and eyes water, she cautiously wraps him in a hug. “She doesn’t love you, Spence. You don’t hurt the ones you love.” Y/n whispered softly.

“She loves me.” He whispers brokenly.

“No, Spence,” y/n repeats, “she doesn’t. She’s using you.”

The tall man wrapped his arms around his friend, burrowing his face into her neck. “I don’t know what to do.” Y/n hears him softly mumble into her neck.

She soothingly rubs his back, “It’s alright, we’ll figure this out.” She whispers to him.

I’m gonna kill her. Is the only thought running through y/n’s head. I’m gonna kill the woman who made the man I love cry.

-

Ew this is so bad I’m so so sorry I started off with so many intentions and ideas but ughhhh

[vixenofthemist]

It is almost the spooky month and I was wondering if you have any ideas of costumes the GD would pick for some type of spirit festival like Halloween?

IM SORRY THIS IS LATE IVE BEEN REALLY SICK AND MY BRAIN DEAD OF CREATIVE THOUGHT BUT I HOPE THIS SUFFICES TO WHAT YOU WHERE HOPING FOR 💜 (this was also really fun thank you for asking!)

Ok so... I started trying to think of costumes, and had the thought that Claude would absolutely, a 100%, dress up as Lorenz as a joke, and that led to all of the Golden Deer (+Flayn and Byleth) dressing up and impersonating each other for the festival.

It all started because Claude picked up the rose that fell off Lorenz's uniform after he left the classroom, and did an impression of him. Hilda jokingly said that that should as his costume, and Claude replied (equeally joking) "only if you dress like Teach" and it all escalated from there till everyone was in on it ajsns so here's who would go as who with their impersonation rated 1-10 LOL

Claude: Like stated above, he goes full Lorenz. Head to toe as best he can (minus the hair bc they couldn't get a wig in time but you bet in like a month Lorenz is gonna walk into class and have a heart attack bc everyone is wearing a wig with his hair ((including Byleth)) but his impeccable impression makes up for the lack of purple hair. 10/10

Flayn: As soon as Flayn heard what was going on, she was exhuberant to potentially go as Byleth, so much so that everyone else relented and let her go as her aksjs she felt a little awkward since Byleth dresses more revealing then what she's used to, but secretely the outfit made her feel quite powerful lmao. Her impersonation was a 7/10, it kept going a little more Seteth then Byleth at times but overall, she did a good job! Was especially dedicated to running around like Byleth does and furiously petting cats.

Hilda: She WAS supposed to go as Byleth, but let Flayn go instead and ended up going as Ignatz lol. Her impersonation is a 4/10, she didn't really put any effort in and tbh she just wanted to wear the glasses and vest, though she did walk around with a sketchbook and pencil, idly doodling here and there so there was more effort then expected.

Leonie: She ALSO wanted to go as Byleth, but same as Hilda she let Flayn take it instead. Leonie then dressed in Lysithea's clothes, wondering what the normal girl uniform was like. She had a pretty solid impression of Lysithea, but she didn't fully commit to being scared of ghosts on the spookiest night of the year so only an 8/10

Lysithea: Lysithea goes as Claude. At first, she insisted that it was quite a childish thing to do, dressing as each other, and refused to participate, but Hilda got her a smaller version of Claude's uniform and said this was an opportunity for her to get back and make fun of him for all the times he's teased her. Lysithea "reluctantly" agreed, on the condition that she could make fun of him for whatever she wants, which involved her walking around the festival and yelling "Thats the Golden Deer for ya!" Everytime she won a prize, winking way to much, and saying everythings a ghost, and so much more. Honestly? it was the best impression. 10/10. She gave it her all and Claude found it hysterical. (here's just a tidbit of Lysithea's impression of Claude (please read in Lysithea's voice if you can for the best mental image) : "My name is Claude von Riegan... or is it?? WHO KNOWS! You don't, because I don't tell anyone anything. Good luck finding out anything about me besides my disturbing knowledge of poison because I certainly won't tell you. Where's teach? I have to wink at her. Wink wink wink all I do is wink. You can't notice I didn't answer your question if I wink at you, it's my special ability: Riegan Wink, temporarily disarms opponents to forget they literally just asked a very answerable question five seconds ago. Super affective against people who are trying to dig into my past. Oh boy it sure is fun being Claude von Riegan, house leader of the Golden Deer and a real thorn in everyones side.")

Raphael: Flayn. He goes as Flayn. He really rocks those hair clips to, and he and Flayn had a lot of fun making the dress for him. He tries his best to impersonate her and has a lot of fun, 6/10

Lorenz: He is the most annoyed out of everyone that this is happening, and refuses to impersonate Raphael, the one he ended up dressing as. That mostly happened bc Raph said he could dress like him, and even tho he does wear the clothes Lorenz complains a LOT about how wrinkly and untidy Raph clothes are akdhsn 2/10 bc he did try a small impression for like a minute

Marianne: like Lysithea, Marianne also wasn't sure about participating, but again, Hilda swooped in and gave her her uniform to wear so Marianne didn't have much of a choice lol She goes as Hilda, its v cute she even did her hair in ponytails! She's shy, but her impersonation is rather good! 7/10

Ignatz: He wears Leonie's uniform since all the boys ones where taken, and he's v embarrassed by it (his second choice would have been Lysithea's bc it at least has leggings) but he goes along with it because everyones just having fun. He's not as strong willed as Leonie and it embarrasses him to try and act like that, but he tried aksh 4/10

Byleth: She wears Marianne's uniform, and finds it very comfortable! She was also, surprisingly onboard with all this lol, and helped the students run around and gather outfits in their sizes. She doesn't really try and impersonate Marianne, but they're both quiet and look tired so, 7/10

[sociallyawkward--fics]

heyy xy its been a while again idk how long i wanted to send smth earlier but my brain wouldnt let me so:// im kinda Going Through It rn tho& surprise its abt my romanticality again but this time it has nothing to do w a crush. its ,, i was wondering how romantic attraction felt so i did a question thread on twitter but the answers ,, were all stuff ive felt ?? &i think maybe ive been thinking of romantic attraction wrong this whole time but ?? how do i know ?? -H (it is. frustrating)

its like ,, i love the idea of cuddling& holding hands& hugging& yes that could be platonic but ,, ive never kissed anyone but i think it could be smth i enjoy& maybe even smth i want but it wasnt ever anything i thought abt until now ,, recently ive kinda been wanting to date someone nonromantically ?? but how do i tell if the way i want it is romantically or not ?? romantic attraction is just a thing u feel right u dont get to decide whether or not its romantic attraction it just is right?? -H

&i have gotten my own version of crushes but its always ,, i just rly want to be their friend or in extreme cases just ,, like me the way i like them, like liking me best ig ?? but maybe i have wanted to date them& just didnt realize it ?? when i get crushes i think of them a lot& want to be around them& i get butterflies& all the things ppl say they get with romantic attraction. but then ill ask myself if its romantic& i just feel like No. It's not ??? -H

romantic attraction always just felt so ,, other ?? so even now that i realize what i want is what ppl who feel romantic attraction want it just doesnt feel right ?? ive never kissed anyone& ive never dated& maybe if i did those things id know ?? &sometimes ill wish i had a partner but like in a queerplatonic way i think ?? i just want to do traditionally romantic stuff but ,, without it being romantic ?? but thats not how it works is it ?? -H

like if u feel& want all the things that comes with romantic attraction then that means u experience them romantically ?? maybe ?? i cant wrap my head around wanting all those things but not romantically ?? bc romantic attraction is defined as wanting things like dating& kissing& cuddling - not some other alien feeling i thought so ?? maybe im greyromantic or lithromatic or bellusromantic but ?? how do i know ?? -H

maybe im just too young to completely know how i feel ?? maybe if i dated someone or kissed them id know ?? &i kinda rly want to do those things just to know how id feel bc im tired of not knowing im already confused abt my gender identity if i dont know my romanticality what do i know ?? -H

lmao so im over my crisis nvm -H

i dont remember exactly what i was saying but theres a difference between wanting those things& like ,, wanting them from a person yknow maybe i want to be kissed but only theoretically bc who do i want to kiss me then ?? any strong feelings usually fade when i get to know the person so. also apparently romantic attraction is Not just wanting those things apparently theres supposed to be a feeling that comes with it idk -H

help i found u on tiktok while looking through aroace tiktoks skjdjk i saw u& i was like xy ?!?!! u exist in places outside of tumblr ?!?!??! unbelievable -H

i saw ur undertale hcs tiktok& i highkey panicked bc ive been hyperfixating on undertale for like ,, a month now, so it was my 2 favorite things : aspec hcs& undertale. personally i see papyrus as aroace bc of his whole speech after ur date with him& its like ,, a v v important hc to me bc hes the only character ive ever felt i had representation in sjdhfks idk hes like my comfort character now -H 

aahhh but yea ive been hyperfixating on undertale so badly but :/ we lost our switch :/ so i couldnt play :/// i had to resort to watching playthroughs on yt. i have watched dan& phils playthrough 3 times& i am going on a 4th. luckily we did find our switch !! &i cant wait until i get papyrus' phone number so i can go through every room& call him& then befriend undyne& go through all the rooms& call him again to see if the responses have changed -H

-----------------

I’m So Sorry it took me literally like 2 months to answer these, I promise i wasn’t ignoring you, I just have Stupid Brain!!

Imma be honest with you, romantic attraction is so confusing, and I can’t say I understand it myself. Also, that’s totally how it works. You can do romantically-coded actions with a queerplatonic partner and not have it be romantic at all. Sure, kissing and dating and cuddling are romantically-coded, but that doesn’t mean you have to be in a romantic relationship to do them; doing those things in a queerplatonic sense and not having any romantic emotions in it is totally valid. You can want all these things and still not have/experience romantic attraction. Take all the time you need to figure it out, though. I may tell everyone I’m grayro, but for sure that does not mean that I have it all figured out. I just say that because it’s the closest to whatever confusing feelings I’ve had lol. It takes time to work these things out, just do what feels right for you. You don’t need to force yourself into a romantic situation just to try and see if you’re aro. Honestly, to me? Nothing you’ve described seems inherently romantic. That all seems like it’s queerplatonic or just platonic.

Lol, yes I exist in places outside of tumblr on occasion. Tbh, since we all know I have no time-management skills, tiktok is a little bit why I’ve been so absent around here lately lol. I was focusing a lot on building my account and content there, but I really miss everyone over here and i miss writing my fanfics so I am Back and I’m gonna try and split my time better, now! Undertale is such a valid thing to fixate on, and Paps is such a valid comfort character. Aroace Paps is so valid, I only said grayroace Paps because 1) brain said “make him you” lol and 2) sometimes I think Papyrus/Mettaton can be cute if done right. And yeah, it’s so fun going through the rooms and just calling them lol

[bartsugsy]

i'm not trying to be fun sponge but its just weird for me when people try to attribute words and feelings to a character when that's not the case. from reading some posts you'd think that was a scene where aaron was worried about robert but it wasn't. it was a scene where he was justifiably annoyed about robert basically ruining people's livelihoods and scheming when they'd just had an argument two days ago where he'd asked robert to stop said scheming

fair play anon, this legit made me go back and rewatch the scene lmao

OK U KNOW WHAT,

ETA OK I STARTED OFF THIS POST DISAGREEING WITH YOU AND THEN I KEPT WRITING WITH IT AND FRANKLY U HAVE CONVINCED ME, SO I AGREE WITH YOU, TY ANON, UR THE REAL ONE

LET’S KEEP THE REST OF THE POST IN HERE ANYWAY BC OOH META 

LET’S DO THIS, I’LL GIVE U MY EXTENDED THOUGHTS ON THE SCENE and if we still don’t agree by the end, that’s cool, but i rewatched and i still feel the same way about it (and i kind of love the scene even more honestly, it was great, there’s lots to it that one can meta and those are my favourite kinds of scenes) ETA I DO NOT FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT IT, I WAS WRONG

so we start the (robron part of the) scene out by aaron just

the second robert walks into the house, dramatically throwing away surrogacy forms lmao

robert obviously immediately spots him and is like why are you throwing all of the surrogacy stuff away? and he sounds sad and concerned

aaron, having thrown that shit in the bin, responds with a still dramatic because what’s the point? we could never afford it and now we never will be able to

rob admits that he messed up, but says it isn’t over and that he can still make it happen. he says he can find another way

aaron is meanwhile legit rolling his eyes and generally looking tired. he answers with another scam?

and rob is obviously like yes if that’s what it takes, yeah. 

AND THEN

DUMBASS MISTAKE, BUT EXPLAINS SO MUCH

ROBERT IS LIKE i could see how much you wanted it, so i was willing to take a few risks. aaron, i did this for you, you have to see that

AND UH

AARON =/= NOT HAPPY

he says don’t try to blame me for this mess. i warned you it wouldn’t end well.

WHICH OK

LO INTERJECTION

AARON, AS WE REMEMBER, LOOKED A BIT LIKE HE WAS MID-BREAKDOWN WHEN HE WAS CAMPAIGNING FOR SURROGACY

BUT ROBERT LEGIT DID NOT AGREE UNTIL HE’D SPENT TIME WITH NICOLA AND JIMMY’S KIDS AND WAS LIKE hmmm ok i need 50

and so maybe robert did do it for aaron, but it wasn’t just for aaron. it was for their family and for both of them, just in a very robert-like way (i.e. the quickest but also by far riskiest way)

but also robert is trying to??? sweet talk aaron round maybe??? in a stupid ass way though, lol 

or he’s just being a dumbass, one or the other

and aaron is immediately mad at this because HE DID IN FACT TELL ROBERT NOT TO DO THE ILLEGAL THING UNTIL ROBERT SWEET TALKED HIM ROUND AND GAVE HIM VETO POWER

AND THEN AARON IS ALL LIKE

AND JIMMY’S A MATE. YOU AND NICOLA PROBABLY RUINED HIM

AND AGAIN, EXCUSE THE META, BUT PLS POINT ME TO ANY MOMENT WHERE AARON HAS EVER CARED ABOUT JIMMY MORE THAN ROBERT BEFORE. he’s just mad and spewing shit at robert, literally. he’s just accusing robert of being a terrible person and a bad friend bc that’s all aaron has got here and he’s MAD

rob is like i never meant for that to happen and aaron is like *pew pew parting shot* yes well u never do, do you robert. so long as you win that’s all that matters *pew pew anOTHER PARTING SHOT* and yeah u know what i did want a kid. i did. but not like this. it’s too big a price to pay. and no, i’m not talking about the money. *fucki MIC DROP bye*

and then rob looks guilty as hell and the scene ends.

SO ANYWAY MORE META HELLO

AARON IS LEGIT JUST SAYING SHIT AT ROBERT. HE’S JUST FIRING OFF SHIT AND SEEING WHAT WILL STICK. LIKE, AARON HAS NEVER CARED ABOUT JIMMY’S FEELINGS BEFORE, SO IT’S SENSIBLE TO INFER THAT IT’S PROBABLY NOT ABOUT THAT

BUT THEN WE GET TO THE END OF THE SCENE AND AARON SAYS THAT HE DOESN’T WANT A KID “LIKE THIS” BECAUSE “IT’S TOO BIG A PRICE TO PAY”

AND HONESTLY LIKE

LOL OK I JUST CHANGED MY MIND ENTIRELY AND I FEEL LIKE I’VE HAD A REVELATION BUT THE REVELATION IS IN FACT JUST AGREEING WITH YOUR ASK slfkkldo classic lo, what a donut

OK MIGHT AS WELL FINISH THIS

OK SO THE QUESTION BECOMES WHAT IS THE ‘IT’ THAT IS TOO BIG A PRICE TO PAY

not to be dramatiq, but honestly from what aaron’s saying, the ‘it’ is robert’s fuckin soul lmao. it’s robert not ruining people’s lives, as u say, and not being terrible. aaron doesn’t want this experience of them having a child together to also be tainted by robert... uh.... not being.... great.... (touchy subject, moving on, might explain why he’s particularly mad/suddenly v reluctant to procreate with his husband though) (what if they spoke about it) (would anyone else be highkey down for that, or just me?)

ANYWAY, aaron’s mad because robert fucked up people’s lives and got caught. he was, it should be noted, a lot less bothered about fucking up graham’s life, even in this scene. i think there’s still just... some anger at robert getting caught and being in a shitty situation in general. he specifically says it’s not about the money. he’s not actually mad about the money. it’s about robert getting them into this situation, about people they (and robert specifically) supposedly care about getting caught in the crossfire, particularly after robert fucked over vic to get to billy literally just a few days back (as u said) 

and aaron at the moment, bc he’s dramatic and kind of insane, but also probably bc he knows his husband, can’t see a way out of this that doesn’t involve robert potentially sinking further down that rabbit hole of ‘bad’, which aaron absolutely doesn’t want - he’s ok with robert doing shitty stuff up until a point (providing he’s careful) and we know this, but he actively doesn’t want robert.... i guess, throwing people he supposedly cares about under the bus for his own gains again? because that’s understandably like a step back for rob, in the soul and morality department

even though frankly, we all know robert would throw every single person under the bus for aaron at any given opportunity and that will never change

it’s probs for the best that aaron is someone who is going to call rob out on that shit and try to stop him from fucking up his life, though. aaron cares about robert’s terrible little soul. 

SO ANYWAY, AARON IS CONCERNED AND LASHING OUT AT ROBERT BC OF IT AND THIS SCENE GOT MORE PERFECT WITH MORE REWATCHES AND EXTRA META AND NOW I LOVE IT AND IM SORRY THIS POST IS LONG AND EXTRA AND ALSO IM SORRY FOR CONTRADICTING YOU EARLIER, WHEN I’M NOW P SURE YOU’RE CORRECT this has been a real journey for me 

[lesbianbruabba]

Answer all the qs! Unless theres any you don’t want to do

Mobile so these are ugly sowwy

1:Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

Well I just spent my night watching exurb1a that p much explains it

2:Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

Sometimes?

3:If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?

I’m pro legalization but if it’s an addiction obviously I’d try and prevent further damage. If it’s well controlled i don’t mind.

4:Do you find it easy to trust others?

I trust too easily so yeah

5:What were you doing at 11PM last night?

Watching exurb1a, or wanking, or looking at takeouts on Deliveroo

6:You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

Probably my brother or one of my best friends

7:What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

Cry

8:Are you close with your dad?

Fairly close imo. But we have a lot of opposing views and I have to try and overlook those.

9:I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

No?

10:What are you listening to?

Magic by Coldplay @samrull can suck my dick

11:You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

Cum fanta lemon

12:Do you like hickeys?

YES unless they’re on my boobs then NO bc I used to have like massive ones and I couldn’t sleep on my back

13:What time do you go to bed?

Hahahhahahahaaha you must be new here

14:Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

My mother

15:Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

Yea

16:Do you always answer your texts?

Most of the time unless I’m tired

17:Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?

No

18:When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

Like a few minutes ago with Iza bc I pester her a lot

19:Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?

My little brother and all my best friends

20:What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

I went to bed yesterday morning but my last thought was ‘I love Tom Holland’

21:Is anyone else in the room with you?

No. I don’t think so

22:Do you believe what goes around comes around?

No

23:Were you happier four months ago than you are now?

Yes. On the 30th December I was probably hanging out with my brother.

24:Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

A few. Some are beyond repair, others are just lost chances.

25:In the past week, have you cried?

Lmao. Yeah. A lot.

26:What colour is the shirt you are wearing?

White with pink and blue argyle patterns

27:Do people ever call you by your last name?

No. I would hate that

28:Is anyone ignoring you right now?

Probably? Idk

29:Do you have a best friend?

I have 7 bitch

30:Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

No

31:Who was your last call/text message from?

Iza

32:Are you mad at anyone?

Yeah. Pro lifers.

33:Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yes

34:How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

23? Idk I don’t remember

35:How many more days until your birthday?

Like 3 months minus a bit.

36:Do you have any summer plans yet?

Yeah! I’m going to Poland with my mum. Then I’m going home and going to suffer in the HK heat.

37:Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

Yes. Two, one is my brother.

38:Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?

No. I’m an open book lol

39:Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

I don’t think so??

40:Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

No

41:Do you think age matters in relationships?

Depends on the age gap and the ages of the parties involved

42:Are you available?

Yes

43:How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?

1 or 2

44:If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?

Nose ring but not septum. On the side of my nose

45:Do you believe exes can be friends?

Yes if they put effort into it

46:Do you regret anything?

A lot.

47:Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

Turbulent is such a good song also I want thanos to raw me

48:Did you ever lose a best friend?

I’ve ghosted a best friend if that counts bc she’s toxic as fuck

49:Was your last kiss a mistake?

No

50:Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?

Bc they don’t like me back lmao and also ‘pursuing’ sounds kind of predatory??

51:Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

No

52:Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?

Not really

53:What was the last thing you ate?

A weird cake that was sweet but I couldn’t pinpoint the flavor

54:Did you get any compliments today?

Yes

55:Where are you going on your next vacation?

June to Poland

56:Do you own anything from other countries?

Yeah I have dolls from Belgium and Poland and Japan and also some trinkets from other places

57:Are most of your friend guys or girls?

The majority are girls

58:Where have you lived most of your life?

Tseung kwan o

59:When was the last time you took a long drive?

I don’t drive :D

60:Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

No

61:Have you ever TPd someone’s house?

No! I’m a good girl uwu

62:Who do you text the most?

Probably Iza

63:What was the last movie you saw?

Endgame but it’s a bad stream of it

64:What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

Don’t have one

65:How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

66:Is the last person you kissed younger than you?

No. You asked this question earlier

67:Do you curse around your parents?

Hell nah they’d ground me even though I’m nineteen

68:Are you happy with where you live?

Not really but it’s okay

69:Picture of yourself?

70:Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

Personally I’m monogamous

71:Have you ever been dumped?

No

72:What do you most like about making out?

It’s hot

73:Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

Yes

74:When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?

Both?

75:What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

Face

76:Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?

Iza or my brother’s gf

77:Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?

No

78:Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

No

79:What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

Dogs

80:Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

NOPE

81:Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

No lol have you seen what I look like

82:Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

Depends on who the crush is and who I tell. Usually I tell my brother and maaaaaybe some of my more sensible friends

83:Do you miss your last sweetie?

???????????

84:Last time you slow danced with someone?

Uhh never. I wish I did though that sounds cool

85:Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?

Nope

86:How can I win your heart?

Make me a playlist and be honest with me. Also be funny

87:What is your astrological sign?

Leo but I’m more of a cancer

88:What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Eating my takeout and watching exurb1a

89:Do you cook?

I make a good risotto and also potato dauphinois. But otherwise no

90:Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

Don’t got one

91:If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

Hells yeah @wlw hit me up

92:Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

The latter

93:What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

A nice face. I like older blondes when it comes to women and less muscley men. Generally for everyone, the more feminine the better.

94:Name four things that you wish you had!

Bigger eyes, a boney figure, fluency in all languages, more brain cells

95:Are you a player?

I play the ukulele

96:Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?

No

97:Are you a tease?

I plead the fifth

98:Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

Yeah a few and they were all v sweet gals

99:Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

I don’t know

100:Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?

Yeah

101:Hugs or Kisses?

Hugs!!!!

102:Are you too shy to ask someone out?

I don’t think so

103:The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

Eyes

104:Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

Yes!! And I call everyone that except my brother he’s dickhead

105:If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

No!!

106:Do you flirt a lot?

Depends on who you are and how well you know me

107:Your last kiss?

Last year

108:Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?

No

109:Have you kissed anyone in the past month?

Lmao no

110:If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

One of the people I’m crushing on probably. Or Zach Grace

111:Do you know who you’ll kiss next?

No, that’s an interesting question though.

112:Does someone like you currently?

Probably not. Again, refer to picture of me

113:Do you currently have feelings for anyone?

Yeah I always fuckin do

114:Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

Serious relationships

115:Ever made out with just a friend?

Yes

116:Are you happier single or in a relationship?

Well I’ve only experienced the former so

Thanks for the questions sorry they’re ugly im also ugly but I’m sure u arent

[mindflayedr-blog]

“What happened to us?” // Teen!Richie Tozier x Reader

I HAVEN’T BEEN ON HERE FOR SO LONG OH MY GOSH IM SORRY!!! I’ve been super busy, I hope you guys understand! 

Anyway, this was requested to me by @tapetayloe. I thought it was cute, I had to write it!! 

Summary: 

Warnings: Cussing as usual lol

(THIS IS HOW I IMAGINE TEEN RICHIE FUCCC EZRA MILLER IS SO CUTE)

Richie and Y/N had been best friends ever since kindergarten. Richie saw Y/N sitting by herself on the sandpit and he decided to join her. That was the start of their friendship. Ever since that day, they were inseparable. Not even a fucking clown could break them apart. During the disappearances, Richie, Y/N, and the rest of the losers all teamed up to fight the crackhead clown who lives underneath the Neibolt house. All was well after the big fight, but as months passed, Richie and Y/N slowly drifted apart from each other. It was gradual, they didn’t notice that slowly the hangouts stopped, the phone calls stopped and it felt as if they never knew each other in the first place. The two of them started to hangout with other people; Y/N hung out with Bill and Richie hung out with Eddie.

Junior year of high school is when it all started. Richie and Y/N would talk to each other during school since they had a lot of classes together, but they never went over to each other’s houses. Then as months passed, the two gradually stopped talking to each other. Whenever the losers hung out together, Richie would be absent whenever Y/N was able to hang out. When Y/N wasn’t able to hang out, that’s when Richie hung out with the losers.

The losers started to notice the two best friends drifting apart. Mike tried to do something about it by talking to Richie, but he quickly dismissed him saying that it wasn’t a big deal and that best friends drift apart all the time. Stan approached Y/N about the whole situation one day, but Y/N couldn’t give him an answer as to why Richie and her drifted away from each other. After Stan brought it up to her, that’s when the gears started turning for Y/N. She would sometimes lie awake at night thinking about what she’d done to Richie that caused their friendship to stop all of a sudden. Did she say something that made him upset? Did she do something that made him upset? She didn’t know the answer. She wanted to ask Richie about it, but she was afraid of the outcome. She thought that if she approached him, it would make the situation worse than it is.

Bill stood outside Y/N’s classroom, waiting for her to come out. Y/N had to talk to her Algebra teacher about her quiz score so Bill had to wait for her. After a few minutes of talking, Y/N finally came out of the classroom.

“Everything o-okay? Did you get to fix y-your q-quiz grade?” Bill asked as he walked with Y/N to the bike racks.

“Yea, it was all a mistake. I didn’t get a fifty, I actually got an eighty on the quiz.” Y/N replied with a sigh of relief. She stayed up studying with Bill for this quiz so it was impossible for her to receive such a low score.

“That’s good, I was worried that I t-taught it t-to you w-wrong.” Bill let out a sigh of relief as he took his bike out of the bike rack and got on.

“No Bill, you did perfectly fine. To be honest, you’re a much better teacher than the actual Algebra teacher.” Y/N joked which made Bill chuckle. Once Bill was on Silver, Y/N sat behind Bill. Bill then started to pedal away from the school, Y/N wrapped her arms around Bill’s waist as he pedaled.

“M-my place or y-yours?” Bill asked as they cruised around the neighborhood. Before, it was Richie who gave Y/N a ride after school but since they stopped talk to each other, Bill then gave Y/N a ride home after school. When Richie and Y/N stopped being friends, Y/N turned to Bill and the two became very close friends in no time.

“Your place, we went to mine yesterday.” Y/N replied earning a nod of approval from Bill.

It wasn’t long until the the two arrived in Bill’s house since the school wasn’t very far. Bill parked Silver by his front porch and waited until Y/N was off the Silver before he got off. The two then head to Bill’s bedroom to talk about their day, it was a routine for them by now. Y/N dropped her school bag on Bill’s floor and then proceeded to fling herself on Bill’s bed. Bill laughed as he watched his friend fall face first onto his soft bed. Bill sat on his bedroom floor and began to work on his homework while Y/N chatted away.

“I actually stood up to Brenda today, I was just tired of her shit so I told her off. Are you proud of me?” Y/N said as she hugged Bill’s soft pillow.

“I’m v-very pr-proud, good job.” Bill praised as he answered some math questions.

(This is how I imagine teen Bill dkjfnskdnfv I LOVVV COREY FOGELMANIS)

“Have you talked to Richie lately? I barely see him around anymore.” Y/N pondered as she hugged Bill’s pillow tighter. Richie barely came up in their conversations so Bill was sort of taken a back.

“Yeah, I t-talked to him ye-yesterday. He’s doing a-alright, he seemed a little d-down though. Maybe you sh-should talk to h-him.” Bill looked up at Y/N and gave her a persuading smile. Y/N quickly looked away from Bill to try and avoid his gaze. “C’mon Y/N, it’s been so l-long since you t-two talked. It’s about t-time you find out what’s going on w-with him. It’s weird to see y-you two not h-hanging out and t-talking. I’m not t-trying to p-push you away from me be-because I love ha-hanging out with you, I’m just s-saying that y-you should go t-talk to Richie.”

“I’m scared Bill.”

“Just do it, Y/N. Take my bike and go to Richie’s. P-please?”

“Fine.”

“This is fucking ridiculous Richie, tell me why you’re avoiding her again?” Eddie asked while giving Richie an eyeroll. Richie finally told Eddie the reason why he was avoiding Y/N and Eddie has never heard something so ridiculous.

“I am NEVER repeating that ever.” Richie replied as he bounced his leg nervously.

“You should just talk to her. Imagine how she feels, Richie. I bet she’s hurt, I mean you avoided her so suddenly, like that’s a dick move.”

“Shut up Eds, you’re a dick move.”

(Logan Lerman = Teen Eddie? SIGN ME THE FUCCCC UP)

“That didn’t make any sense whatsoever and can you fucking stop that?”

“I do what I wan-”

The loud and rapid knocking on Richie’s front door cut Richie off mid sentence. Eddie and Richie looked at each other in confusion. Eddie then looked out Richie’s bedroom window and saw Y/N outside standing by Bill’s bike.

“Well I gotta go, I have to help my mom with something.” Eddie suddenly said as he quickly packed up his things.

“With what? Cleaning her ass? Bye Eds.”

“Shut the fuck up honestly.” Eddie retorted as he walked out Richie’s room. Eddie didn’t want to use the front door for obvious reasons so he used Richie’s back door to get out.

“RICHIE OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, LET’S TALK. I HAVE QUESTIONS.” Y?N yelled from the outside while knocking on Richie’s door. Richie took a deep breath and walked downstairs to open the door.

“What questions?” Richie spoke calmly as he stood in front of his door. Y/N stared at him for a few minutes before she grabbed Richie’s hand and barged inside his home. “What the fuck Y/N? What’s wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with you? You’ve been avoiding me for months now! It took me awhile to notice because I’m dumb but that’s besides the point!” Y/N said angrily as she dragged Richie upstairs and into his bedroom. “Now tell me why you’ve been avoiding me! It’s not fair for you to just disappear from my life like that! You’re such an asshole!” Y/N continued to hold Richie’s hand, she held his hand tighter when tears threatened to spill out of her eyes. Richie’s heart rate began to rise as Y/N continued to hold his hand. He couldn’t get his thoughts together, Richie was a mess because of Y/N.

“Answer me Richie… What happened to us?” Y/N said softly, almost in a whisper.

“BECAUSE I FUCKING LIKE YOU OKAY? YOU GOT HOT AND SUDDENLY I WAS OVERWHELMED BY FEELINGS AND WHENEVER I HUNG OUT WITH YOU, MY HANDS GET CLAMMY AND MY HEART BEATS SO FAST IT FEELS LIKE IT’S GOING TO FUCKING JUMP OUT OF MY CHEST, AND WHEN YOU TALK TO ME IT MAKES ME NERVOUS BECAUSE I CAN’T THINK STRAIGHT! FUCK Y/N WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?” Richie yelled out breathlessly leaving Y/N speechless.

Without thinking, Y/N quickly leaned in and kissed Richie. Now it was Richie’s turn to be speechless.

“I like you too idiot, why couldn’t you just tell me that?” Y/N said softly, still holding Richie’s sweaty hand.

“Because I didn’t want to ruin things with you and I was scared you’d fucking reject me or something. I mean who would like Trashmouth Tozier? Shit even I don’t like Trashmouth Tozier.”

“Well I like Trashmouth Tozier, I’ll always like Trashmouth Tozier.”

The two chuckled. The two looked at each other and time seemed to stop. The world was dead silent.

Richie cupped Y/N’s face and slowly leaned in, he didn’t know what he was doing but he continued. He then passionately kissed Y/N like she was the only girl in the world.

Once Y/N left Richie’s house, Richie quickly ran to the kitchen to call Eddie.

“EDS I KISSED Y/N AND SHE LIKES ME!” Richie yelled over the phone excitedly, his hands were shaking with excitement that he almost dropped the phone.

“Nice, Ben owes me ten dollars now.”

Y/N climbed the tree by Bill’s window to get into Bill’s room. Bill always left the window open for Y/N to climb into.

Bill watched as Y/N climbed into his bedroom. Y/N had the biggest smile on her face and Bill couldn’t help but smile.

“What happened?” Bill asked as he looked at Y/N attentively, ready to hear every single detail of what happened while she was at Richie’s.

“Richie likes me and we kissed.” Y/N replied ecstatically, she then flings herself onto Bill’s bed and rolled around while screaming in joy.

“I knew it, St-Stan and M-mike owe me now.”

“You were betting?” Y/N asked with a giggle.

“Yeah.” Bill replied while giggling also.

“Nice dude, how much?”

“Ten bucks.”

“Hell yeah, we can buy ice cream with that.”

I hope you guys enjoyed this imagine! This is my first ever Richie imagine y’all can you believe that :0

Anyway, I enjoyed writing this lol, I’ll for sure write more Richie fics in the future xx

[cowboypossume]

sdfghj I'm so sorry for coming back to this so late I am living in Tumblr bliss without checking my inbox but a) babe is totally fine I love that!! and my names aru (no a, you were close though!!)

yeah I'm like...halfway ash through the book? Simon snow needs a break but I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS EVEN IF THEY WEREN'T GOOD

AND SORRY FOR NOT RESPONDING TO YOUR DMs I'm really bad at messaging I'll try to get better!!!

hey hey don’t sweat about the dm thing ! the inbox is something i can learn to do :D !!! but ok you and spoilers throughout literally the entire and this is gonna be a lot and unedited (mostly) because BEHZYZTGZYSHSYHZUENEUSBS IM SO U P S E T

undeather the - - - - - - is when the spoilers stop

ok, ok, getting striaght to the point. it’s so horny. it’s so horny. and for W H A T ? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE REASON FOR IT TOBE T H A T HORNY? AND EVEN THEN ALL OF THE SEX STUFF WAS SO V A U G E ? LIKE EVERY TIME SIMON AND BAZ WERE TOGETHER IT TYRNED INTO SEX AND YES OK AS AN ACE I G E T HOW MUCH SEX CAN COME UP, BUT LIKE, ENDYXHZYGSHSYZGE WHAT WAS THAT?? IT WASNT EVEN WELL WRITTEN! IT WAS JUST SIMON BEING LIKE “i want more but it’s not enough” AND LIKE NOT REALLY ELABORATING ?? AND THEN THEYD BE SHARING A CUTE MOMENT THEN *bam* HORNY AGAIN? OK ALSO AS FAR I KNOW RAINBOW ROWELLE IS A CIS HET STRAIGHT WOMEN .. BABE WE DONT NEED THAT MUCH SEX BETWEEN THE MLM RELATIONSHIP??? AND THEN WJEN THEY ACTUALLY KIND OF EVEN HAVE SEX ITS SO V A U G E (AGAIN!) ITS NOT UNTIL SEVERAL PAGES LATER I REALIZED THAT THAT TIME WAS ACTUALLY SEX VS ALL THE TIMES IT WASNT? I DIDNT LIKE IT !!

ok now that i’m done being upset about how fucking vague it was, i also didn’t like how it was used as a metaphor for simon wanting to actually try in a relationship? yes it’s important to try in relationships and compromise and try when you don’t want to, that’s important, obviously, but like ,, you’re allowed to have your own believes about sex. that doesn’t have to be the soul focus of your relationship. baz himself even admits that they “have bigger things to worry about”. there are ways to show growth in a relationship without sex, and even if you do, IT DOESNT NEED TO BE THAT VAUGE?? AND OFTEN? simon felt overwhelmed in those positions and then was like “ok lol i’m done with anxiety and just gonna try now and no more anxiety :)” it felt like to me? and then bam bow horny. ALSO. ITS NOW CANNONICAL SIMON HAS A BLOOD KINK ????

ALSO! THAT SCENE IN THE SEWER WAS BAZ BEING LIKE

“please fucking stop about asking me to drain you. i’m makes me so uncomfortable and scared and stop.”

and simon was like “but it’s hotttttt”. WHAT ?? BABE WE DONT HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO NEXT POINT: WHY? WHY THE FUCK DID SIMON GROWL??? W H A T?? WHAT THE FUCK?? WHAT THE FUCK WAS HIM G R OW L I N G WHEN HE SPOKE??

and ok something i didn’t fit in before was all the weird ways the kissing scenes were described? i’m from america so maybe it’s like a dialect thing i don’t understand, but constantly hearing “i shove my nose into his face” while they were kissing was so weird?? like shove, similar words i frankly don’t want to remember, we’re used all the time? and for what? hmmm??? what was that?????? i cant express to you how of a fever dream this book was?? but ohohoho i have more to unpack.

penny to me always felt like the token diversity friend when it wasn’t in her point of view (and even then pushing it) and so i didn’t love her character. but!! her and simon’s friendship was realistic. i could get behind that. HOWEVER. THIS BOOK TAKES THAT AWAY. SIMON once is like “give me space” and then she’s just like “ok” and i feel like their friendship never got repaired at the end? i stopped really paying attention because fucking shit i was so tired of the constant sex between baz and simon that i zoned out most of it so maybe it did but ,, i don’t think it did. i’m pretty sure she got with shepard and then he got with baz and then that was the end of the friendship because ✨ooooo we’re dating people✨ thing. which ,, isn’t how it happens??

and while we’re here: i didn’t like the penny and shepard ship but whatever it felt like it was inevitable like female x male loki so i was like “huh disappointed but not surprised” feeling when they kissed. if you like it, cool great (/gen), i didnt and that’s swaggy but, ok, the plot of shepard being engaged to a female demon who i think wants to fuck him in hell only to be resolved in like 2 pages of a monologue so penny and shepard can get together was ?? so WEIRD ??? like what was that ?? how did that develop their relationship? idk it was so weird.

but ok back to simon and penny, i kept reading and reading and reading on so i could maybe get to at least talk again and then,, they didn’t? they just didn’t. they never made up their friendship and i get that you lose friends along your life. believe me i’m the last person you have to drive that point home to. but,,,,, god i hated that their friendship ended. for WHAT REASON DID IT END?? simon said he needed space, penny respected that, got a boyfriend and simon did too, so no longer theyre friends? something i liked about this series was the group dynamic all of the books had. no matter who’s pov it was in you could tell who each character was because it was unqiue. you still could in this book so i’ll give credit where credit’s due. however THIS BOOK WAS LIKE 3 ENTIRELY DIFFERENT STORIES WITH NO CONECTJON REWLLY ?? WHICH IS FINE I JUST ,, didn’t get that in the first two books so ,,,, why is it here ?

and ok something else while i’m criticizing is: i don’t love her writing style. i didn’t like how in book one i got “here’s an introduction to my magical word told through past tense and memories and so hopefully you’re all caught up now” which i was willing to overlook because just because i don’t like the style means it bad. at least this book didn’t do that but idk didn’t love that aspect.

ok back to the three stories: i love agatha being a bisexual goat care taker. that’s it literally she should have been the main character. like deadass i loved her story so much. that’s it that’s all /pos.

ok but! simon finding his family was cool. i liked that he got that. the pacing of the scene where he finds out was a little rushed for me but, then again, based on my writing i can’t really critique on that so … liked it, enough. idk how to elaborate. wasn’t the worst part of this book but doesn’t really sit well with me.

and i’m so confused about simon’s wings. he does want them and constantly brings up his surgery and then all of a sudden ,, doesn’t? i think? the last chapter is so vague and simon mentions being on the fence about it and i understand that we as the reader don’t need to know everything about what the future holds for these characters but also ?? beudhyzhsgsbeysyzb babe he brought it up like all the time and can i please get a solid answer ??

aLSO. WHY DID SIMON AND BAZ BREAKUP ONLY FOR THEM TO GET TOGETHER 5 CHAPTERS LATER?? WHAYDYXYZGWH WHAT WAS THE POINT OF WAYWAYRD SON IF SHE JUST DID THAT???? LIKE WHXGXYVZYZHE YOU MADE THEM STAY TOGETHER WHEN SIMON WAS BEING AN ACTUAL DICK FOR AN ENTIRE BOOK (which i will defend until the day i die those scenes weren’t an OUNCE of how horny this book is), THEY BREAKUP, AND THEN GET TOGETHER AGAIN?? NOT EVEN 100 PAGES AFTER THEY BREAKUP??? SHZGZGZYSGSU W H A T? WHAT? I DONT GET IT? i don’t get it.

i kept waiting for the scene where everything came together and it never came. then the epilogue didn’t clarify anything either.

i don’t know. there’s more probably i just didn’t enjoy this book. i would have given it a 5/10 the first time i read it but the more i think about it the lower that number goes so ,, yea not a good time.

- - - - - -

so! that’s a lot! completely get it if you disagree :D. you’re allowed to like a book even though i don’t. and also i have no energy to edit this so enjoy me screaming about it !