#sorry if the cut line is messed up idk why it keeps doing it

[sewellove-deactivated9782]

what’s love in español? — one shot

Part three of The MC88 Series

Mini Summary: following seb & mia at the spanish grand prix in 2021 and the start of something that neither of them would ever forget (a03 link)

word count: 6.4k

tags/warnings: aston martin !driver¡ oc x sebastian vettel, infidelity, swearing, nsfw, smut, teammate-cest, minors dni

an. im trying to write this in order now (connecting up all the parts ive posted previously) !! parts might be a bit slower as i always get writers block writing this way but otherwise theres too much going on for it to make sense ! but anyway enjoy and well done if u get to the end !!

an. im trying to write this in order now (connecting up all the parts ive posted previously) !! parts might be a bit slower as i always get writers block writing this way but otherwise theres too much going on for it to make sense ! but anyway enjoy and well done if u get to the end !!

It was almost easy to want to forget the first half of the season. Race after race they had been left with disappointing results one after the other, but it wasn’t just on track that she wanted to forget; it had been everything else too. 

She almost wished that it never happened; it had caused too much grief ever since it had first happened, but there was a part of her that no matter what happened she wanted to relive those few precious moments again. 

It was in Barcelona and she had woken up to the morning sunlight beaming through the window of her hotel room, the undrawn curtains failing to keep any of the light out which instead allowed it to illuminate the whole room. Her hands fell to her face, covering her eyes as she tried to block out the light that had disrupted her sleep as she let an almost cry-like sigh escape from her lips. It was too early, she knew it, without even having to look for her phone, but her hand still fumbled around for her phone on the bedside table, nevertheless. As she moved the bedsheets fell around her naked waist and it was that moment that she froze because all of the memories of the night before came tumbling back. 

She raked her fingers through her tangled hair, in an attempt to try and calm the unruly mess. But also because it was just instinct as her mind tried to scramble together what had happened the night before. 

She remembered it this time, but she still looked around the room, only for another sigh to leave her lips when she couldn’t see him and her heart broke a little. 

He had gone, of course he had.

It would have been worse if he had of stayed. She knew that, but there was still part of her that wished he had; a part of her that needed him to have stayed. 

She shook her head at herself; she had slept with him, again. What was she thinking— they had done the one thing they were not meant to do, again, and this time they had no excuses; they hadn’t even been drinking. 

And she remembered it all, every last little detail. 

It had been the Friday evening of the Spanish grand prix, just a week after what had happened or not happened between them in Portimão. It was after they had finished at the track, after both free practices, which hadn’t gone too badly for the team compared to the races previously. They had both slotted around tenth, which was funny because just a couple of years ago they both would have been equally disappointed with those placings. But this season had changed both their perspectives on formula one.

They had left their debrief still talking about something or another, and they had only separated to head back to their respective drivers rooms so they could head home. But a few minutes had barely passed before she heard a knock at her door and found her teammate leant against the wall outside. She just gave him a small smile as he just continued talking to her about what they had been talking about before, as if they had never stopped. But she noticed the look in his eyes; she had seen it just a couple of weeks before, and she knew that he wasn’t there just to talk about their race— not really, not deep down.

He let the door close behind him as he carried on talking to her as he watched as she continued doing whatever she needed to be doing to she could leave that evening. She had been a little bit all over the place that day, which meant she still had a lot to be doing before she left, but Seb didn’t seem to mind and didn’t seem to be wanting to leave anytime soon.

She didn’t question it and she was only partially listening to what he was saying as she carried on doing what she needed to do so she could leave the track at a respectable hour. 

He carried on talking to her about their car that day and the set-up changes they had talked about in their briefings. They talked about the circuit; they talked about the changes compared to last year, and then they talked about the years before and then the years past. Seb mostly talked and she listened, but she didn’t mind; she had been listening to him for years and she still listened to every word he said.

But then he asked her if she remembered the first time she ever raced there, and of course, she did. 

“I wasn’t that far behind you,” she had said drawing his eyes to hers from where he was sat at the little table in her room. His back pressed against the wall as he faced the middle of the room looking to her. 

“When?”

“2015,” she smiled glancing to him, “started behind you on the grid,”

“you remember that?”

He remembered it for some reason, he remembered watching her Toro Rosso in his mirrors. 

“Of course,” she replied biting down on her lip to stop her smile from growing, “first time i got to start behind you,” she said quickly having to add that it was also her first time starting on the third row of the grid too and also that got to watch his Ferrari fly off into the distance from right in front of her with her very own eyes. 

She didn’t want him to think that he was the only reason why she remembered that race. But then they started talking about the past and their past more specifically, and then it didn’t seem to matter anymore.

“I beat you one year,” she said flicking her eyes to him as she sat down in the chair across from him, 

“which?” he asked as she had beaten him in a couple of races in Spain over the years, 

“2018,” 

“i remember,” he smiled to her, “beat me to the podium,”

“it felt like a win that day,” she replied,

“i know,” he replied back with another little curl of his lips, “you told me that day,” 

“i think i told everyone,” she said, grinning back at him, “i was so relieved just to make it over the finish line, let alone get on the podium as well,” 

“it was the one time i didn’t mind you beating me,” he said back, and she just nodded. It had felt like a victory that day. She almost cried when the car made it over the finish line. The relief consuming her body as a happy cry croaked from her throat. It had only been the fifth race of the season, but it had already been plagued with dnfs and mechanical failures, and this was piggybacking off of the six dnfs she had the year before. 

She had finally managed to grip hold of the seat she had been hunting for her whole life. The one she had first-handedly seen Seb win championship after championship with. The one that Mark had secured his ever elusive first win with and the one that had sky-rocketed Daniel’s career to what it is today. But once she finally had it, they couldn’t give her the car that she needed, the car she deserved and she barely lasted two years in the team before it resulted in her leaving formula one. 

“Do you ever regret leaving at the end of 2018?” 

She just shook her head because she didn’t. It had been the most sensible decision she had ever made in her life, and she didn’t regret it one bit. She could have won more races, maybe even a championship, but once you fall out of love with the sport there is no way you can carry on after that.

And that’s what she told him.

He just nodded and they carried on talking about something else. But at some point the conversation whittled to an end, and she found herself wanting the same thing that she had wanted all those weeks ago. Her mind started to drift to the look he had in his eyes when he first appeared at her door, and maybe he wanted it too. 

It took all of her confidence to say what she said next. It wasn’t even that she thought he was going to turn her down. No, it was more her trying to convince herself that it was a good idea even though every part of her knew that it wasn’t. 

“My hotel is only a twenty minute cycle,” she said, looking at him, almost not being able to hold his gaze, “or Cathy… but she might-” she added failing to get the words she wanted to leave her lips, 

“i’ve got a bike,” he said much to her own relief that she didn’t need to scramble for the rest of the words that she wanted to say,

“ok,” she replied, letting his hand fall from hers as she stood up, knowing he would follow her.

They had cycled back across the city from the racetrack. He followed close behind her choosing to ride beside her when the road was wide enough. They talked the whole way. The conversation always flowed easily between the two of them. One of them always had something or other to say, but that nervous almost child-like feeling still bubbled away under the surface. 

They made their way to her hotel room. She remembered closing the door, but she wasn’t sure how they had gotten from there to then kissing, but once they had their lips met they barely left the others. His lips only left hers to trail down her neck and then across collarbone and chest. His fingers teasing the edges of her top and then her jeans. She could feel the sensation building in her belly as he pressed himself against her time and time again. 

Her mind felt clouded, she felt like she was drunk all over again, but this time it was just the desire making her feel that way. It was the way he lips felt against hers; the way his hands brushed over every millimetres of her skin and the small groans that escaped his throat. 

He started pulling off her clothes. His mouth only momentarily leaving hers as he pulled her top off over her head. It was rushed because if they stopped then they would have time to think about it and then they probably wouldn’t be continuing and neither of them wanted that. She managed to pull off his clothes too, but then he was walking her over to the bed and then she was laying under him within a matter of moments. 

But then he halted. 

He knelt between her thighs; sitting back on his heels as he stopped himself momentarily, or maybe for eternity. He wasn’t looking at her; she couldn’t catch his gaze as she tried to stop herself from squirming underneath him, but he was still looking down at her. It was the only moment that time seemed to pause, and she could see that it had hit him with what he was about to do; that he was deciding in that moment whether he wanted to do it or not. She could see the instant regret falling over his head, but in that moment it didn’t matter to her. They had started this and they couldn’t stop now. 

“Seb,” she said at not much more than a whimper with a small buck of her hips in his direction, “Seb, you-you can’t stop now.”

He just looked at her as if to say i can’t?

But she had just returned it with a pleading look in her eyes that he couldn’t deny.

So he just pushed himself inside her. A small moan left her lips as she stretched around him. It felt just as good as the first time, and by the string of swear words that she managed to mumble out as he thrusted into her again and again, maybe it was better. 

It was everything and more than she remembered and she wanted it again before it had even ended.

But when it had, he had plunked himself down beside her as he tried to catch his breath. She just let her hand smack gently against his chest, but he caught her wrist with his hand and just held it against his chest as it rose and fell with every breath that he took. 

She only gave herself a moment before she was moving across the bed, not saying anything as she picked up his pants and throwing them at him as she made her way across to the bathroom. She needed a shower, but more importantly, she needed a moment to try and figure out what the hell had just happened, again. It was the one thing that they were never meant to do, not ever; yet they had done it for a second time in the space of just a couple of weeks.

As she tried to comprehend what had happened, she found a part of wanting him to stay, almost needing him to stay. She didn’t sleep around, not really. She always would wake up the next morning with the person beside her. She had a boyfriend until that ended, and then between then and now she had dated people; it never had just been sex; there had always been more to it then just that. Even with Daniel, with whatever that had been, she still woke up the next morning with him beside her. 

That’s what she wanted now; she wanted him to stay. 

“There’s spare towels if you want a shower,” she told him as she emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her body and another in her hair on top of her head. She adverted her eyes away from him. She couldn’t tell him to leave. She couldn’t do that to him and she couldn’t do that to herself. She wanted him to stay no matter how wrong that was. So she opted for leaving that decision in his hands so she couldn’t blame herself no matter what the outcome was. 

He gave her a nod as he slipped into the bathroom, leaving her alone. 

She got into bed, urging her body to go to sleep so she couldn’t be left with the decision, and for once her body cooperated because by the time he had showered and walked back into the room she was already curled up asleep. He found the rest of his clothes and he pulled them on, careful not to wake her up because that was the last thing he wanted, and then he reached across the empty side of the bed and placed a delicate kiss on her shoulder. He allowed himself to have one final piece of whatever this was before he slipped out of her hotel room.

And that was that.

When she finally saw him later that morning, it took all of her courage again just for her to say good morning to him. It was like she had been transported right back to when she was a teenager and she had gotten to meet him for the first time, but he didn’t seem bothered at all.

“Good morning,” he said back to her with a smile that she noticed failed to reach anywhere near his eyes. It looked forced and so did the way he greeted her. He seemed distant and it was a complete one-eighty to what they had last night. 

“How are you?”

“good,” 

“good.” 

She stopped herself because she wanted to scream. She had opened her mouth to say something else, but nothing came out. She had nothing to say to him for the first time ever and it seemed like he didn’t either because what on earth do you say to your teammate after you’ve slept with them for a second time. It wasn’t even that they had slept with each other, it was because she had wanted him to stay and because it was more than just sex, but neither of them knew it yet and neither of them would ever want to admit it. She didn’t understand because he was so different from one moment to the next. She knew, well, hoped, he didn’t mean too, but one moment he was her closest friend telling her how proud he was of her and then the next it was as if they had barely ever met. It made her stomach flip and not in the good way.

“We need to talk.”

He had said it, holding her eye contact for all of a moment before he had left her standing there as he headed into the garage without giving her even a second to respond. 

She followed him reluctantly into the garage and she was glad that they didn’t have any marketing to do together as she couldn’t think of anything worse in that moment. She was glad that all she needed to do that day was drive and for the most part it would have nothing to do with her teammate. 

The final free practice session hadn’t gone as well as the others. They had been testing a few things and she hadn’t done a single lap on the soft tyres so it was understandable that she had only set the fourteenth quickest time of the session, but it still left a bitterness in her mouth as they headed towards qualifying. 

That was the only time she had spoken to him at the track, well, until later that day. It was right before qualifying and she had managed to muster up enough courage to go up to him and wish him good luck before they both went out. He was standing at the back of his side of the garage, getting ready, standing in front of the little compartment that housed his helmets, gloves, and balaclava. She walked over from her own section to his noticing that his eyes fell on her, watching her take every step. She hated this. She hated this feeling. It was never meant to be awkward like this. She hated it and she just wanted it to go back to what they had before. To what they had before they decided to fuck all of it up. 

“Good luck,” she said, stopping right in front of him,

“i’d say the same, but you don’t need it,” he replied, noticing the small curl to the corner of her mouth. She watched as his hand juddered forward, reaching out to do up the top strap of her race suit around her neck. She just froze and it seemed like he did too. Her eyes darted to his and he was staring right back at her and it was almost as awkward as the Seb vs. Mia video they had to film on the Thursday.

She wanted to scream. 

She had forgiven him for not staying because this was so much worse. 

“Top ten?” he just asked her, visibly taking a step away from her as he reached for his balaclava, 

“we can try,” she said back, pushing a smile back onto her face. 

Qualifying ended up being tolerable. It wasn’t any better than her previous runs of the season and it could have gone a whole lot worse. She ended up just missing out on Q3 and had to settle for eleventh. Which wasn’t so bad as she had out-qualified her teammate in three of the four races now, which was quite the feat as he was Sebastian Vettel, the four-time world champion, and she had barely a quarter of his victories to her name.

“Almost,” came his voice once she was back out of her car after qualifying. She had managed to fist bump most of her mechanics and just about gotten her helmet off before she had to entertain the whims of her teammate who had decided now that she did in fact exist. 

“Almost,” she replied, glancing around to see him standing at the back of her side of the garage, “maybe next time,” she said with a small smile as she joined him, 

“bets are on you for Monaco,” he said and she just returned it with a confused furrow of her brow, “you won here last,” he explained, reminding her of a victory that seemed like a lifetime ago, 

“we’ll see,” she replied with a small smile as his shoulder nudged against hers as the walked to the back of the garage together.

She didn’t know what to think anymore. What was she meant to make of this, and she was sure he wasn’t meaning to mess with her like this, but he still was. One moment they were fine and the next they weren’t, and it felt like a stupid primary school relationship. 

“Later?” came his voice, and she had to visibly stop herself from pulling a face at him,

“what time later?” 

“what are you busy?”

She shrugged her shoulders, “i’ve got a few things to do,”

“yeah?”

She nodded, “i’ll text you when i’m done,” 

“ok.”

She finished her race weekend duties; the track side ones such as post-qualifying interviews and media with the team along with team briefings. Then she was heading back to the hotel to get ready to go back out. One of the perks or downsides, whichever way she wanted to look at being one of the only female formula one drivers, meant that she had a lot of brands, sponsors, companies and people that wanted a bit of her time. This meant a lot of dinners and events that she had to attend at both race weeks and non-race weeks and Saturday was no exception. 

She had tried to set boundaries at the start of her career but to no avail. She didn’t want her Saturday nights to be filled with meetings upon meetings. She wanted that time to herself before the race the next day. She had argued at the beginning, but her time was worth more than that; her face on a poster was worth more than that; and in the end she didn’t get a say in how her time was spent.

Once she had finally finished another sponsor dinner she had texted her teammate and before she knew it there was a knock at her door and she opened it to find Seb standing there. 

“You look nice,” 

“thanks,” she replied almost squinting her eyes at him before she opened the door a bit wider so he could step in, 

“anywhere nice?” he asked as she shut the door behind him, 

“work,” she replied with a deflated smile. 

He just nodded because he knew there were sides to her job that he would never have to do simply because he was born the opposite gender. He remembered when she was younger, even before she had a seat in formula one, just how many dinners, events and meetings she had to attend just for being a girl. She would be at the track one moment and the next she would be meeting potential sponsors— or with some rich businessmen that wanted dinner with the pretty, young new racing driver. He had to meet his fair share, but not nearly to the extent she did. 

“I wasn’t expecting you to be her so soon,” she said, glancing at him before walking over to where she had stood before taking off her jewellery,

“i was already in town,” he explained, and she just nodded. She had so much she wanted to talk to him about. There was so much that they would usually just ramble on about for hours, but whatever this was, it made her feel like she couldn’t anymore, and that friendship they once had had slipped through her fingers.

“This feels so messed up,” she said only just above a mumble as her eyes flicked to his,

“i know,” 

“no, Seb, i feel like i can’t even talk to you anymore.”

She watched as his eyes scrunched shut and his brow furrowed, “i know and i don’t want it to be like this. I didn’t think it was going to be like this,” 

“i’m sorry,” she said as he just shook his head because she had nothing to be sorry about, “i want to go back to before,” 

“i know,” Seb replied with an almost painful sigh, “i want both,” he added and it was probably the most honest thing he had said to her all month, 

“we can’t have both.” 

He nodded and it felt like a whole eternity passed in those few moments that they stood there just a few feet away from each other. 

She finally turned around, “can you?” she asked feeling her voice quiver as she noted to the zip of her dress. 

He nodded as she stepped towards her. She moved her hair over her shoulder as his fingers found the zip at the base of her neck. She could feel his breathe on her skin and it matched the racing heartbeat in her chest. She couldn’t fool herself no matter how much she wanted too— she wanted this and she wanted him. 

He could feel the silky material under his fingertips as they brushed over her shoulders and then down her spine as he undid the zip of her dress. She didn’t move away even though he had unzipped her dress and his temptation to run his fingers over her skin grew as she stood there in his reach. He squeezed his eyes shut before all of his hesitations unravelled and then his fingertips were running down her spine. He felt her shudder slightly, but his touch hadn’t been unwanted, his hands had just been cold. 

He let his fingers trace her body and her finally let his fingers wrap around her waist. He could feel her relaxing into his touch and then he finally let his forehead rest upon the base of her neck. A sigh leaving his lips as every other problem seemed to vanish too. 

“We shouldn’t,” she said ever so quietly, 

“that’s not a no, Mia.” 

And she didn’t say anything because she did want this. 

His hands crept around her waist, lacing over her belly as he pulled her flat against his chest. His head resting against hers as her hands fell to rest upon his. 

“I want this, Mia,” he said into the base of her neck as he pressed a kiss into her skin, “and i want everything that we had before.”

She didn’t say anything; she just nodded as he pressed another wet kiss to her neck, followed by another, “and I’m sorry for being a fucking idiot these past weeks,” he added, tightening his grasp around her waist too, “i should’ve just told you how i felt.”

She just turned around in his arms, her dress falling from her shoulders and pooling on the floor around their feet. She noticed his adam’s apple bob as he swallowed after noticing she was now basically naked in his arms. His eyes failing him for a second as he snuck a glance before looking back to her eyes that were just staring back at him. “Yes?” he just asked,  

“yes,” she nodded back with a smile creeping onto her lips. 

She reached up bringing her lips finally to his. 

In a matter of moments he had cupped her face in his hands and was kissing her as deeply as he possibly could as their mouths moved against one another. She pressed herself against him as closely as conceivably possible. Needing to feel every part of him and her hands holding onto his sides as if she might loose him if she were to let go. Her fingers gripped hold of him as she pressed herself against him even more, wanting as much contact as physically possible. She was constantly pulling him closer making sure that there wasn’t even an inch of air between them. So much so that she could feel him stiffening in his shorts and she could feel it pressing against her belly.

A small moan escaped her as he grazed her lips with his teeth, feeling a smile forming on his own. 

Her fingers trailing under his shirt before taking a second to tug at it so he knew what she wanted. Then she was pulling it off over his head. She took a moment to look at his stomach, running her hand over it and through the hairs that covered the centre of his belly. She had seen him shirtless enough times simply because they were teammates, but never like this. 

A few seconds had barely passed, but she knew she was staring, so she darted her eyes back to his. She could see the little smirk forming at the corners of his mouth. She hit him pathetically square in the chest as she had to bite down on the inside of her cheek to stop herself from grinning.

He just kissed her smile away. 

He walked her backwards towards the bed until the backs of her knees hit the edge of the bed and gave way underneath her causing her to sit down. He leant down joining their lips again as he cupped her face in his hands. He only pulled away for a moment to press a kiss to the tip of her nose before signalling to her to move further back onto the bed. 

He caught her ankle in his hand, halting her from moving too far away and then he was leaning down to bring his lips to the inside of her calf. Then his fingers were trailing up her leg with his mouth not far behind. Another moan left her lips as he reached the inside of her thigh. Pressing kisses and nibbling at the tender-side of her thigh. “Seb,” she moaned again as her hands fell to her face and she could feel the smirk on his lips against her skin. 

When he finally reached the edge of her pants, she was already unravelling under his touch. He had moved so he was almost hovering on top of her causing her to open her eyes as she felt his breathe against her skin. Then she was looking at him, “you sure?” was all he said and she just nodded. 

He leant down pressing another kiss to her lips before he leant back to sit on his heels. 

“Seb,” she warned managing to wrap her hand around his wrist, 

“ok, ok,” he said, shifting off of the bed so he could kick his shorts and then his boxers off. Then he was reaching for her ankle again. Running his fingers up the insides of her legs again, but then he hooked his fingers under her pants and then he was pulling them off. 

He moved so he was kneeling between her legs again, running his fingers down the inside of her thighs again, causing her to almost tense away from the touch. Her body needing him more than anything else. She watched through her eyelashes as he debated what he wanted to do; he flicked his thumb over her clit a few times, causing a shiver to spread across her body like nothing ever before, and then he was lining himself up with her entrance before he finally pushed himself inside of her.

“Fuck, Seb,” she moaned as she stretched around him. Her body almost forgetting that they had been in the exact same position the night before. But, something was different; it wasn’t quite like before, or at least what she remembered from the very first time. There was something that felt so much for relaxed about it. A familiarity and comfortability with each other that hadn’t been there the times before, and it felt like maybe the following day wouldn’t be filled with awkward greetings. 

“Shh,” he hummed as his hips pulled back before he thrusted slowly into her again. 

He set a pace that was everything they needed. It wasn’t rushed, but it wasn’t slow, and it was deep enough that her whole body felt alight. It was everything she wanted; everything she needed, and from the flow of little grunts and moans leaving Seb’s lips above showing that it was everything he wanted too. 

Her back arched from the bed as her hips tried to match the rhythm he was setting. Trying to move her body so that he could reach deeper and so that she could take everything physically possible from the moment. 

“Seb,” she moaned quietly, letting his name fall from her lips. Her head falling to the side as she tried to reel in the pleasure she was feeling, but he just took her cheek in his hand so she was looking back at him; his other hand at her hip; his fingers digging into her skin as he tried to hold her still. 

“You’re so pretty,” he said as he hovered over her and that was really the only thing he said to her the whole time. 

The moans left his lips, but never her name. 

He just leaned down, pressing his lips against hers once more, sucking on her bottom lip, and he continued to thrust into her. 

She knew she was looking anything but pretty. She knew she was covered in sweat and she knew the baby hairs around the edge of her face wouldn’t curled into ringlets from the sweat. She knew she was looking far from her usual presentable self, but it didn’t matter and he loved her looking like this. 

After everything that had happened, he loved seeing her fall completely undone. He loved seeing her lose control of herself; completely giving into the pleasure that was humming through her body. A complete juxtaposition to the Mia he saw at the track every weekend.

He could’ve cummed just from the sight. 

And he nearly did. 

It was long before they were both reaching the heights of their orgasms, scarily, almost in sync. Her hands grasping tighter around his waist, the words tumbling from her lips telling him not to stop, and there was not a single part of him that had even debated stopping; he wanted this just as much as she did.

He watched as she orgasmed. He could feel her tightening around him. Her whole body arching off of the bed as it screamed for every ounce of pleasure. Her head falling back and her mouth falling open as she moaned. Her eyes rolling to the back of her head, and he had never seen anything so pretty, and with a few more thrusts he found himself collapsing on top of her as his own orgasm hit him.

He stayed there for a few moments, his head resting on her chest as she tried to catch his breath. Her body rising and falling beneath him with every breath she took herself. Her hands moving to the back of his head as her fingers ran through his hair and her legs falling to rest against his sides as he still laid nestled inside of her. 

They laid like that for what felt like eternity, but in the best possible way because it felt wholeheartedly like nothing else. 

But eventually he did move. 

She hadn’t even tried to stop the whimper that left her lips when he started getting out of the bed. He had heard it, and even though part of him wanted to stay; wanted to fall asleep with her in his arms; waking up to her in the morning; he knew he couldn’t. 

“You need your sleep,” was all he said as she turned his back to her and walked across the room. She had to fight the urge to roll her eyes. She watched as he picked up his clothes from the floor, chucking them to the foot of the bed. Collecting them there before he started to pull them on. 

“I’m not a child, Seb,”

“I know,” he just muttered back to her. 

That was his way of saying he wasn’t staying. 

She had to almost stop a disheartened sigh from leaving her lips as he refused to even look in her direction. He turned cold. She wanted him to stay, but she knew he was regretting even just being there. She wanted to be in his arms as she fell asleep; she wanted to know what that side of him was like. She would never get to see it, which was why she longed for it so much. She longed for that little bit of intimacy because that part of her life had been empty for so long that even if her bed wasn’t empty for just one night, it would make her feel a little less like a failure. 

She didn’t even look at him as she got out of bed, wrapping her robe around her as she made her way over to the bathroom. She turned the tap on splashing the cold water onto her face before she reached for her tooth brush. She started brushing her teeth and she was was still standing in front for the mirror as she watched him lean against the door frame behind her once he had gotten himself dressed. 

“You want to talk about it?”

He watched as she finished brushing her teeth and spitting the remainders of her toothpaste down the drain. 

“Not right now,” she said pausing for a second before she chose to lean in to press a kiss to his cheek. Her palm resting on his chest momentarily as she brushed past him and back into her room. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” was all he said before leaving and she just hoped it hurt him as much as it did her. 

She knew it shouldn’t hurt her. But it did; maybe because he had consumed so much of her brain for these past few weeks; because he had for so many years, too. That every time she tried to close her eyes she was reminded of what they had done. She knew that it would only ever just be sex, but she wanted more than just that.

[ghost-proofbaby]

It's summer for you, winter for me. Warm me up with strawberry fluff! As always, my muse, your muse, the one and only, Eddie.

Midsummer's night, because I don't have a lot to inspire you with. I'm thinking something cute but weird? Maybe some human body softness where Eddie is a bit of a freak and we love him for it. And we're told our bodies are lovely, even when they're doing weird shit.

I lalalove youuuuu. xo Rhi

RHI!!!! <3 i adore you. thank you for this prompt - i had far too many ideas for it, but ended up on settling for this one, which coincidentally feels like the most subtle of them all? either way, it definitely turned out being the softest. give me an eddie munson who just wants to sniff me like a dog. this definitely got a bit long but i hope you enjoy, my dear <3

the smell of you

warnings: weirdos in love? idk. i have a skewed sense of what is actually weird i think. mentions of death and coffins jokingly. eddie 'manhandles' reader sort of. not edited.

wc: 2.2k+

come enjoy a sweet summer treat with me <3

“Eddie?”

The entire apartment is quiet – too quiet – as you drop your keys into the old crystal bowl on the counter. The clink resonates through the air, louder than the soft murmur of the stereo static you can hear from down the hall. 

“You dead?” you call out again, slipping off your running shoes and tossing down your headphones onto the counter as well now, “Do I need to call the coroner?” 

Your tone is lilted, teasing with airiness as you continue to wander deeper into the apartment and head straight for the room you know Eddie has to be in. Like the waves pulled by the moon, there’s an incessant string tied around one end of your soul that connects you to his, and you follow it all the way down the hallway. The bedroom door is wide open, and you can hear his mumbled yell of a response without clarity before you even cross the threshold. 

You wouldn’t have even needed him to verbally respond to find him in this tiny apartment. You two could get separated on the streets of a bustling city, of a buzzing New York sidewalk, and you still wouldn’t properly lose him. It’s more than just soul ties and his gravity that keeps you pulled to him. 

Something unspoken. Something homely. 

“Sorry, what was that?” you hum as you spy him face-down in the bed, pillow muting him by the mouthful, “Say it one more time, and this time not into the pillow.” 

When he finally properly turns over, he’s a vision. Sleep lines folded into his skin and a bit of drool in the corner of his mouth, eyes squinting in irritation not at you but the sunlight flooding in through the bedroom window. Messy hair, messy shirt, messy everything. A kind of mess you just want to collapse into currently, curling up in all that he is from the day’s exhaustion. 

He’d mentioned wanting to take a nap before you’d left for the gym. Something about the summer heat draining him, trailing off as he’d rambled about how he’d probably thrive as a vampire. 

“I said,” he huffs, sitting up, the frizz of his hair becoming a makeshift halo, “If you call the coroner, request the comfiest coffin possible.”

“Why do you need a comfy coffin if you’re already dead?” 

“You dare deny me of being buried in tempurpedic memory foam? In my hour of need?” 

You roll your eyes as you huff out a little laugh, forcing yourself to turn away from him long enough to strip out of your socks. But just as you reach down for the pieces of clothing, you catch sight of the source of that stereo static flooding the room. 

Your shared record player, spinning a blood red pressing of one of your more recent vinyl purchases. The album has been played through, but the player no longer had an automatic stop mechanism, probably from years of use. 

The center of the record is probably scratched, and Eddie knows it, from how sheepish he looks when you glance over your shoulder at him. 

“Speaking of death,” you walk over quickly, purposefully, before carefully lifting the needle and cutting the static finally, “Care to explain why you’re burning scratches into my Momento Mori vinyl?” 

“I’m sorry,” he quickly apologizes, nearly flinging himself off the bed as he scooches quickly to the end, clearly fully awake now, “I put it on and thought I’d just lay down for a quick second, but then the bed was so comfy, and I thought it wouldn’t hurt to take a quick nap, and then…” he trails off, looking up at you through his lashes with big eyes already pleading for forgiveness, “I’ll buy you a new one. Swear it.” 

It’s impossible to be mad at him when he’s looking like this, inhumanely soft and easily forgiven, “You’re lucky you’re cute, or you really would be dead.” 

He doesn’t respond with words, but instead the outstretch of his hands, fingers flexing as he beckons to you. The needle rests on its perch, the vinyl left behind to gather dust for a few extra moments, as you go straight to him. 

When his palms slip beneath your old t-shirt and meet your skin, they’re pleasantly warm. 

“You were right,” you admit as his knees spread, delegating even more room for you to stand in front of him as your hand wanders to cradle the side of his face, fingers tangling in sweaty curls from his rest. Your thumb mimics his on your own skin instinctively, tracing a large arch right up over his cheekbone, “It’s hot as balls outside.” 

“Told you so,” he murmurs, smiling softly in satisfaction as he leans lazily into your touch. 

“You did,” you agree quietly, half-entranced by his relaxed face, no sight of pride in the room currently. 

He resembles a cat as he continues to preen under your gentle hand, and you almost expect him to start purring right before you find the strength to pull away, removing his hands from where they'd wandered to your lower back. 

One swipe of his finger along your sweaty spine, and you’d remembered what your original intentions had been immediately upon getting home. 

“Wai- Where are you going?” he’s seemingly brought back down to Earth the moment he loses the pattern your thumb had been tracing, the press of your fingertips into his scalp. When he reaches back out to latch onto you again, you take a step back, “Get back here-”

“I need to shower,” you laugh, shaking your head and smacking his hands away as he continues to barter, “I’m all sweaty and smelly, let me go clean up and then we can nap togeth-” 

“You can shower after we nap,” he nearly whines, finally catching your shirt between his fingers and tugging, uncaring for if he stretches the fabric. A small price to pay to have you close to him, “C’mon, sweetheart. I know you’re just as exhausted as I am.” 

You swear you meant to take another step backwards, but somehow, you end up back between his knees, “Did you not hear me, Munson? I stink.”

“Good.” 

He doesn’t give you any time to react – in an instant, he’s throwing his face forward, burying it against your stomach as you let out a gasp and immediately try to pry him away with far too gentle of hands in his hair. 

“Eddie!”

If it were anyone else, you’d probably be mortified. But Eddie just takes a dramatic deep breath in, nose buried just shy of your belly button, and when his shoulders start to shake with muted laughter, you can’t stop the smile from breaking. Your fingers are still twisted in his hair, still pulling back in an attempt to get him away from you, but he’s resilient. 

And all your faux resistance is weak in comparison. Soon enough, you’re back to melting into him. 

Only once you’re relaxed once more, no sign of trying to pull away again any time soon as his hands once more evade the space beneath your shirt to wander up and down your sticky skin without a care in the world, does he lift his face away from you long enough to breathe and speak, “I’ll have you know – I love your stink.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m serious.” 

“You’re an idiot.” 

“I’m your idiot.” 

The game of banter is cut short when he goes back to pressing his nose into your clothes that surely can’t smell good. No amount of deodorant or perfume could erase that underlying stench of sweat. Hell, the shirt is still a bit moist from it all: from the walk to the gym, from your workout itself, from the walk home. It’d been through the ringer, and you’re back to tugging him away from you. 

“I refuse to believe you like how gross I smell right now,” you reinforce, eyes darting towards the bathroom connected to your master bedroom, “I promise I’ll be quick with the shower.” 

“Baby,” he fights back, wrapping his arms around you securely, no intention of losing this battle, “You remember that time we went to the fair, and you were complaining about how you were sweating, so I tried to lick your face?” 

Your nose scrunches quickly at the memory, “I do, unfortunately.”

“You really think I’d be willing to lick the sweat off your body but be afraid of you smelling a little bad while we cuddle?” his shoulders drop as he looks up at you, head tilted, almost as if amused with the conversation, “What kind of man do you take me for?” 

“The kind that gets off on annoying me.” 

His jaw drops, putting on a fake look of offense before he dramatically throws himself back onto the bed, laying flat as he makes a fist to mimic stabbing his chest, “You wound me.”

You’ve heard those words a thousand times in a hundred different ridiculous voices. You’ve seen this scene enough to have it mesmerized at this point, down to the over-exaggerated pout of his lips and the lingering of the fist against his sternum. 

You never grow tired of it. You never will. 

“Need me to kiss it better?” you joke as you prop a knee up on the bed, following the same script as always. 

And he hits his queue perfectly when he lifts his head eagerly at the expected response, wiggling his brows a bit. “Absolutely. Doctor’s orders, in fact.” 

“Great,” you see an opportunity, and take it, “I’ll get right to it, after my showe-” 

You don’t even get the final syllable of the word off your tongue before he’s clenching his thighs around your own, knees pressing hard before he wraps his legs the rest of the way around your waist to pull you in. A squeak of surprise leaves your lips as you begin to fall forward, but Eddie is quick to break the fall with ease. Catching you with his eager hands, maneuvering for you to half drop to the mattress while some of you still lands atop of him. 

He has you right where he wants you, turning his head to be face to face with you, noses nearly brushing, “Unfortunately, the doc said you have to kiss it better now, or else you’ll be comfy coffin shopping.” 

“A fatal wound?” you gasp, nearly mocking him. It doesn’t offend him – if anything, his boyish grin only grows wider, “First, I’m smelly-”

“Again, I like when you’re smelly.”

“-And then I inflict a fatal wound upon my lover? Oh, how dare I.”

Slowly, all your insecurity of how you currently smell is simply fading. The entire ordeal has become an art of childlike, whimsical jokes – and Eddie is an artist. A professional at the dance, locked and loaded with his incomparable skill set equipped for disarming you this way. The ability to make someone feel loved, imperfections and weirdness aside. 

He likes you, even when you claim you don’t smell your best. And you like him, even when his hair is tangled beyond recognition and one of his socks is half-hanging off his foot from a nap.

You like him when he’s embarrassing you in public, tongue chasing after you with the threat of licking your sweat away, and he likes you when all you can do in response is a weak palm to his chest (that isn’t even making an effort to push him away) as you giggle relentlessly. 

You like each other on the good days, the bad days, the weird days. 

Disarmed entirely, you don’t even notice when his face conveniently slots itself far too close to your armpit as you two scooch further up into the bed. You’re more occupied with the way your legs tangle up, toeing each other’s socks off properly as he slings a heavy arm across your torso. 

“We’re gonna have to wash the sheets,” you mumble, exhaustion catching up as the two of you finally settle. 

He hums absentmindedly, nuzzling into your skin a bit further as he makes himself comfortable. “And wash away your sweet, sweet stink? I don’t think so, sweetheart.” 

“Oh, fuck off,” you laugh, unbothered as your fingers start to trail up and down his back over the t-shirt, smoothing out wrinkles along the way, “I’m serious. We need to change them soon anyways, I think I got crumbs in the bed the other night with those crackers.” 

“Bury me in the crumbs of all your midnight snacks,” he almost slurs, clearly drifting back off. 

You snort in response, relaxing and letting your own eyes shut. Matching all your deep breaths with his own, a million different last words crossing your mind to whisper to the boy you’re sure is once again asleep. 

I love you.

I adore you. 

I would like to spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me. 

And maybe some of those unspoken thoughts slip out without you realizing, because he squeezes you just a little bit tighter, presses his face just a little bit deeper into your skin as his scruff tickles you. 

The only actual thought you can know for certain that you say, though, is, “Do you think they actually make coffins with memory foam inside?” 

To your surprise, even despite the almost-snores that had been escaping him, he answers in a heartbeat. 

“Oh, definitely. We’ll order two.”

[judasgot-it]

Ello again o/. So I eventually experience this… may i req Dazai has feelings for the reader but no intention to confess to her instead teasing/and helping Kunikida having feelings for the reader which ended up with Kunikida actually confessing. What would Dazai react tho–

AAAAAAAAAA this is horrible, caim I'm so sorry if you were put into that position cause that sounds like purgatory.

I'm gonna write from Dazai's POV cause he's a lil stalker who would watch as his heart gets broken and shattered into pieces because of this (I don't hate Dazai IDK why I treat him like this lol?)

Scenario: Dazai teases Kunikida about his feelings, without ever confessing his own before it's too late

(Side note, you used she in your request so I'm using that throughout this, I hope you don't mind !!)

"C'mon Kunikida, you keep saying you have your 'ideal wife' and 'ideal life' all planned out - but you like her, don't you?"

Dazai was smirking, folding one of his documents into a butterfly. His folding was rather sloppy, but it got the shape just right anyway - better than reading the drawl that was written throughout the document. He could just do it later anyway - there was always tomorrow in his mind.

Kunikida took it from his hands, carefully unfolding it. He used his pen and flat desk to carefully take out the creases, line by line.

"Don't put off your work. This needs to be done sooner, rather than later."

"Like how you won't tell Y/n that you like her?"

Kunikida looked up at him from underneath his bangs, glaring at him as hard as could. If looks could kill, Kunikida would have murdered Dazai one thousand times over.

Dazai returned it with a smile, placing his chin over his folding hands. Kunikida looked down, staring intensly at his work. His hands worked as if they were writing the Bible itself, clutching the pen and going over each now non-existent line.

"You like her so much it makes me wanna cry Kuni, it's like watching a little puppy follow its master around."

"Please refrain from referring to me as a dog. Also, she's not my master."

"Oh. I bet you're a bottom. No way you actually would do missionary, trust me I know you're a virgin but take it from an expert-"

Dazai felt the desk shake as Kunikida slammed his hands down on it.

"I do not need your advice! We shouldn't be talking about my crush, we should be doing our jobs."

There was a short pause as Dazai placed his hands over his mouth.

"So you admit you have a crush on her?"

"Dazai-"

"Kunikida."

Dazai was grinning, watching Kunikida's face turn red at his implications. He loved how the blonde couldn't hide his thoughts, especially not from him. It entertained him.

The argument was cut short by a voice.

"Dazai, do you have the paperwork from that last case? The coroner's office wants us to drop it off by today since the case is sensitive."

The two looked up to see you, walking into the office. Your hair was a mess from the humidity of the port, your face flushed from walking up the stairs. Kunikida tried not to stare, since he knew Dazai would make a comment.

"Sorry my sweet Y/n, it seems to have passed my mind. Kunikida did it for me though, maybe you guys can take a walk together and drop it off, hm?"

Kunikida did everything in his power to not tear Dazai limb from limb. Dazai couldn't keep the grin off of his face, watching as Kunikida tried to stay calm fruitlessly.

"That won't be necessary. I don't want to bother her while she's doing her work."

"What? Today is kind of slow. You can take a break, and we can go and drop this off and get a coffee. You need to relax more Kuni, you deserve it."

He blushed as you boldly took his shoulders in your hands, not letting him escape. You were looking down at him, your eyes watching his golden ones with an intensity that made him want to look away and hide.

Dazai found this rather delightful, although a part of it disgusted him. He enjoyed watching Kunikida curl up inside, but he saw the way your fingers curled up underneath his jacket lapels, fingering around the edges.

Your hands should have been on him.

"Yea Kuni, why don't you take one? You barely had a lunch."

"You know my name Dazai."

"But Kuni suits you! I think it's cute."

"See! Y/n agrees with me."

Kunikida held his head in resignation. You smiled, like a cat that caught the canary. Your hands were still on his coat, trying to keep the man close to you.

Dazai smiled back, a rather false grin. He won but he wasn't sure what it really was.

"Let's go. They want it as soon as possible, right?"

Kunikida was quick to pack his things, carefully placing the paperwork together in a folder, all bounded with a large paperclip. You wouldn't even be able to tell that it was once origami due to his careful and dedicated work.

You were quick to follow, waving goodbye to Dazai with a smile splitting your face a part cheek to cheek. There was a feeling that crept into his body as he watched the two of you leave - amusement, fondness, and a little bit of disgust.

Although he found that last bit of emotion, that disgust, was more towards himself than anyone else.

-

"Here Y/n."

"Aren't you supposed to be doing these?"

In Dazai's hand, was a small origami crane. It was near perfect, except for the fact that you can see the creases from the amount of times the paper was crumbled into a ball and folded over.

"Are you really going to reject it? I made it just for you."

"When I'm in the middle of work? Yes Dazai, I will. I don't wanna force poor Atsuhi or Kyouka to pick up our slack."

You went down back to your laptop, your fingertips tapping away at the keys softly. Dazai leaned into your space, his nose breathing in your shampoo.

"Really? It's not too bad, you can handle to slack off a bit Y/n. Cmon, have some fun with me for a bit."

"I'd rather not. I have to finish this anyway, since I dont wanna be late for my date tonight."

Dazai backed away a bit, giving you room to breathe. He blinked, a little in shock.

"You have a date tonight?"

"I said that. Yes."

The brunette shook his head, his fluffy hair shaking around his face. It wasn't real.

"With Kunikida? Seriously?"

"Um...is it that obvious?"

You turned your body to face Dazai, looking dead straight at him. The man was near completely frozen in shock. He didn't want to believe that this happened.

He knew Kunikida liked you, but enough to break his 10 year plan? To break his ideals of a perfect-life and perfect-wife? Would he even sleep with you before marriage?

Was this somehow his fault?

"Don't look so disappointed about it."

You were still staring at Dazai, now with a questioning gaze. He had to keep his face neutral to hide what was brewing underneath, a strange sort of sickness that was crawling underneath his skin.

"No. I'm happy for you two. I hope it works out."

He felt nothing but resentment brewing underneath his skin, especially as he saw you smile at his words. He tried his best to swallow that feeling down.

He liked Kunikida. He liked you.

But right now that disgust was crawling, making him want to vomit out nothing but anger.

HAAAAAAA this is super short and idk I keep writing a very angst and mean dazai, I don't mean too ?????

[oscarthedino]

Jeremiah x y/n

Summary: y/n Conklin is the middle sister of Steven and belly. You have been dating Conrad sense last summer but lately you have been noticing he was off. As summer is now approaching fast you can’t wait to see him and also hope you can figure out what is going on with him but you can’t believe what’s actually going to happen this summer.

Warnings: cursing, mention of death/cancer, cheating, possibly assault and smut

Chapter 4

You keep staring at the note everything flooding back. Your shoulder now pounding still as the sleep wears off. All of this was a complete mess and you knew you were about to get the worst of it when you went down stairs. Your head is now pounding to and you look over again and grab the smoothie taking a sip, damn this really does do wonders you think to your self. You lay in bed for a little bit longer but decide it’s time to go down stairs before your mom comes up at yells at you more.

You make your way down stairs and hear most everyone already awake. Your mom is sitting at the counter and Jeremiah and Steven are in the kitchen with jere trying to get Steven to get out. When you get to your set leaving a space in between you and your mom you look around for Conrad and see him sitting on the couch, you both make eye contact with each other and there a thousand words said between that. You get pulled out of your trance by Jeremiah.

“Hey you want some Cereal”

Even though you had the food upstairs you where still really hungry “yeah sure” you told him and he poured you a bowl

“How’s your shoulder” he asked you then immediate regret lined his face as he looked over at your mom.

“What happened to your shoulder” she asked almost annoyed looking at you. You also notice how Conrad sits up a bit to now looking at you again.

“Oh um someone bumped into me is all and I fell on my shoulder, I should be fine” you tell her trying to move it to show her but instead pain lines your face.

“Always something” laurel says looking back at her computer, you just stare at your cereal nor hungry anymore.

A few seconds later and belly walks in with a big bruise on her face from last night. She sits now in between you and your mom and tells Jeremiah.

“Hit me” while placing her hand on the table

“Coming right up” he tells her smiling super big

I really got to ask him about this you think to yourself something has to be going on. Your thought is half cut off by your mom.

“Omg belly what happened to your face” she asks belly concern dripping her voice completely opposite of how it was when she asked you why you were hurt.

“I got bumped into” you tells her mom looking at Conrad

“You look fine to me” Conrad mumbles

Your mom’s face still laced with concerned doesn’t ask any more questions. Susannah comes almost running into the room looking at both you and belly.

“Girls…. I have a question” you tells you and belly “I signed both of you up to do the deb ball this year!” She is almost jumping up and down.

You and belly both just sit there for a moment thinking. I mean it give me something to do this year plus my friends are doing it, you know what screw it”

“You I’ll do it why not” you tell her. Everyone stops what there doing and looks at you.

“Yeah I’ll do it to” belly says looking at you with a smile. At this point everyone’s jaws are on the floor.

“You mean those two things are going to be in a ball” Steven says looking at as

“Ofc they are Steven” Susannah tells him “they are both beautiful young ladies” she looks at both of you her smile so big.

“This sounds… expensive” your mom says

“Don’t worry about that laurel” Susannah tells her. At this point nothing is going to stop her from us being a deb. “We have to go shopping” she tells me and belly “and ofc the boys will be taking the both of you” she adds

I look at Conrad waiting for a response but Jeremiah answers first “ummm yeah no I don’t do that” he says “sorry belly”

Conrad looks at you and says “idk y/n I already did it last year” then goes back to his phone

No one says anything as I sit there pale faced almost embarrassed at Conrad’s words but if I’m being honest I’m not surprised. Belly brakes the silence by saying “wow guys you don’t need to fight over me. But don’t worry I will be finding my own date”

“Ok so lady’s go get ready and we are going shopping!!” She almost screams.

You and belly look at each other in knowing that this is not going to be that fun. Don’t get me wrong you and belly love shopping just not with the moms they get to… into it.

Jeremiah shouts before him and Steven leave “we got to go time to go make some moneyyy” he says dabing Steven up.

I forgot he was working this summer you think as a small but of sadness creeps its way up. You and belly move to the table to finish eating your food. As you stand to move you have both your water and cereal to carry and as you go to grab your water with your bad arm and pain shots up your arm and you wince in pain.

“Are you ok” susannah comes up to you worried. Well at least someone cares you think.

“I’m fine had a small fall” you tell her not wanting to worry her.

In all honesty you should probably get it checked out but you don’t want to worry anyone or make a bigger deal then it is especially after how your mom reacted. You both sit there finishing your breakfast but you leave for your room when you see belly eyeing Conrad swimming in the pool. Could she make it more obvious? You where literally sitting right Next to her and she is staring at YOUR boyfriend omg idk if I’m going to make it through this afternoon.

You thrown on a tank top and I pair of jean shorts and sit to do your makeup. You decided to go for a softer look today sense you where going out with your mom. As you’re getting ready you hear a knock at the door.

“Come in” you say thinking it’s belly or Susannah but slowly realize it’s not when you hear Conrad behind you.

“Hey” he says stepping into your room and closing the door to come sit on your bed.

“Hi”

“I thought we should talk” he tells you picking up a stuff animal on the bed.

You turn around to face him “yeah probably. Umm thanks for the breakfast this morning”

“Ofc, you seemed like you had a rough night” he said looking at your shoulder which has a judge bruise on it now

“I’m fine , don’t worry it will heal” at least you hoped it would without having to ask your mom to go to the doctor.

“Look about yesterday” he says pausing “ I really didn’t mean to hurt you I just didn’t know how to tell you”

“I understand what ever going okay is hard for you but I need you to talk to me, you quitting football is huge. I don’t know why you don’t trust me” you almost whisper the last part.

“I do trust” he says hastily “I just didn’t want to disappoint you I have a lot with school going on right now”

“What’s actually going on” you ask Conrad

“It’s just school I promise” he says but not able to look you in the eye

“Why can’t you just tell me the truth” you almost yell standing up from your vanity.

He runs a hand through his already messy hair “I’m not I swear”

“And for some reason I don’t believe you” you almost laugh after saying that “and everything with belly what the hell is that”

“Nothing is going on between me and belly” he says almost defensively

“We both know she likes you” you tell him “I don’t understand why you can’t except that and do something about it” your almost yelling now “ do you understand how hard it is for me to watch my sister look at you like that how she almost flirts with you, you do absolutely nothing about it to”

“I promise you I don’t like her like that I only like you, and idk how to tell her I don’t want to hurt her feelings” he tells you

“What about me though” tears start to swell but you won’t get in front of him. You won’t show how much this affects you. “What about hurting me”

“I don’t want to hurt either of you” he runs a hand through his hand again and is squeezing your stuff animal so tight.

“Like you didnt want to hurt me when you told me in front of everyone you wouldn’t take me to the ball” you are definitely screaming now but you don’t care.

“I don’t want to do it ok I already did it and it want for me why can’t you understand that” he says yelling now to.

“Why can’t you do it for me” you sigh looking away to compose yourself. “I feel like you only care about yourself, I don’t remember the last time you just called me to talk to me or was the one who wanted to set something up. I understand your going through something right now but you won’t even tell me so I can be there for you”

“Nothings going on why can’t you just except that” he yells now standing up.

You turn back around to face him “because I know you’re lying to me!!! You have never acted this way about school or have held stuff from me”

“I don’t have to tell you everything fucking thing about my life” he walks closer to you

“I don’t need you to tell me everything I need you to tell me the important things” you say frustrated that he doesn’t understand.

“I’m trying ok y/n I’m really trying” he tells you reaching for your hand

You pull your hand away “Obviously not enough” the tears that have built up finally fall. “You don’t have to even think or worry about taking me to a deb ball anymore, I can’t do this hiding things and secrets where done get out” you tell him turning around to go to your vanity again

“Y/n don’t do this please” his voice breaks a little

“Please Connie don’t make this any harder get out” you say once more and watch him leave through the mirror. You finally hear the click in the door and let all the tears fall they steam down your checks in waves ruining your makeup you just did but you don’t care. Your heart hurts so much but you knew deep down it was right you guys would have never lasted.

After about 20 mins of sobbing you finally pull your self together enough to fix your makeup and head downstairs to meet with belly and the moms.

You get downstairs and the three of them are already down there but they all must notice your still red eyes or heard the screaming coming from your room.

“Are you ok y/n” belly asks looking at you

“I’m fine me and Conrad broke up” you tell the three of them. I mean they would have to find out eventually but just saying the words made your heart hurt.

You know all of them are staring at you but you wipe the tear that escaped grab your bag with a wince and walk towards the car. “ you guys coming” you ask over your shoulder.

The next few hours go by in a flash. It’s a mix of your mom and Susannah picking out respectable almost work clothes with your mom criticizing how things look on you and praising belly like normal. No one brought up your break up the entire time and went on like nothing happened thank god but you could tell Susannah was worried.

You finally make it to the dress part but after trying on all these clothes your shoulder feels like it’s about to fall off. But this is your favorite part, you’ve always loved dress shopping no matter how much pain you were in.

After what felt like at least an hour of just trying on dresses and keeping a straight face every time you had a pull a dress up over your shoulder but it all was worth it when you and belly stepped out of the dressing room and moved over the the mirror. You let out a small gasp as you looked in the mirror. You had the most gorgeous dress it was off the shoulder and the bottom flowed so nice it was all lace but it wasn’t to puffy , the bodice was made of lace flowers that scattered down to where your feet where. It looked heavenly and you were in love, but when you looked over at belly she didn’t have the same look I mean the dress was beautiful and very big but.. it wasn’t her.

“Y/n don’t you think we should get something that covers your shoulders more. You don’t even bother turning around you just hope your mom will let you get this one.

“Oh don’t worry about it laurel” Susannah says “doesn’t it look like that dress was made for her”

Before anyone else could say anything the store clerk comes up holding a beautifully simple dress “would one of the girls like to try this on” she asks us but it is mostly aimed at the moms. I give a thank you look to Susannah.

As I look over at belly though her eyes lit up when she saw the dress but disappointment replaced it when Susannah said “no I definitely think these are the ones” and the clerk walks off with the dress.

“So girls why don’t you change out of the dresses and me and your mother will go pay” Susannah tells us standing up. Me and belly both give her a nod and walk back into the changing room.

You start to take your dress off but obviously your shoulder has had enough for one day and are you pull it off your shoulder blinding pain hits you and you a small almost whimper comes out.

“Y/n are you ok” belly asks you from the stall next to you.

“Yes” you say trying to make sure your voice isn’t shaky and apparently you do a good job because belly doesn’t say anything else.

You lean up against the wall and sink to the floor the dress now sitting next to you as you hold your shoulder while silent tears fall for what feels like the thousandth time in two days. You tilt your head back against the wall and memories flood back from last night. Jeremiah helping you, the feeling of his hands on your skin, his body behind you supporting, his cologne that the boys always tease him for wearing that smells like the beach wrapped into a sent.

You let out a small laugh. Omg what is wrong with me I sitting here thinking about Jeremiah when I just broke up with Conrad, what the fuck is wrong with me. This summer was supposed to be the best, I was going to see Conrad again, spend time with my best friend Jeremiah, get an amazing tan and avoid my mom. Now I’m sitting in a dressing room thinking about jere crying because I hurt my shoulder last night at a party I didn’t even see Conrad at except for flirting with my sister. This is already a mess instead of the summer I wanted… I needed.

You eventually got up and put your clothes on with a struggle and now you all are home and you’re getting ready for the first I guess you can call it class. You picked out one of your favorite outfits it’s a white sundress that goes down to the floor with blue flowers detailing it cuts off right about your chest and ties.

You’re sitting on your bed ready to leave but decide you should ice your shoulder. There is a knock on your door before you see Susannah walk in and sit next to you on the bed. “Hi sweetie” she says scooting up close to you.

“Hey”

“How are you doing” she asks but I know she means more than my shoulder.

“I’m fine” you tell her and let out a big sigh “I really tried Susannah I really did try and I wanted it to be work and be ok” you look at her

“ ik you did and that’s all you can do” she smoothes a hand down my curled hair

“I wanted to help him so much, but I couldn’t and he wouldn’t let me” the tears start to well up but you refuse to let them fall especially because of him. “He wouldn’t tell me anything and him and belly I… I just i couldn’t anymore”

You lean against her before she says “sometimes the best you can do and most you can help people is letting them go no matter how much it hurts. Not everyone is right for each other even you with Conrad.” now rubbing a comforting hand down my back.

“I know” you let out a long breath “I’m worried about him”

“I am too”

You both sit there in silence and each other company. These are your favorite moments with Susannah the ones were it is just the two of you and you know she is always there for you. you hear belly calling for saying it’s time to go and you give Susannah one last hug.

“Have fun honey” she tells you as you leave the room.

Your mom drives you and laurel the country club where the Deb ball and class are. You sling your over the shoulder bag on your shoulder a wince a little at the action and luckily no one notices. As you are saying by to your mom you hear belly call out to someone.

“Hey jere” belly yells. You look over as your mom drives away and you see Jeremiah Carrying towels with no shirt on and just his bright red lifeguard swim shorts. You can’t help but look him over but stop your self. No you can’t be doing that he is your best friend you tell yourself.

“Omg belly is that you” he says “ I almost didn’t recognize you”

“Ikr me and y/n got all dressed up for this thing” she tells him and he looks over to you. You can’t help but notice something in the way he looked at you and your breath catches but you have to ignore it and you do.

“Well why don’t I walk you guys there” he tells you both

“That would be perfectly” you say and he goes to set the towels down on his golf cart. The entire time he is joking around with belly and you can’t help but laugh at it to but when you make it to the room it all stops because everyone is staring at you. Turns out the two of you are a little late.

“Paige” Jeremiah says taking the hand of who must be in charge of everything.

“Jeremiah, why don’t you have a shirt on” she asks him

Jeremiah completely ignores the questions and tells her “these are the young ladies my mom told you about belly and y/n”

“Well why don’t the both of you head over to your table” she tells us. Me and belly are walking over to are table when I hear Jeremiah Ask “ooo are those the small Brie and prosciutto sandwiches with jam”

“Yes they are but they are for the girls” Paige tells him walking away before you see jere run to grab one. “Jeremiah those are for the girls” she says again but he already stuffed it in his mouth and was out the door. You can’t help but laugh a little at that.

You and belly find your table and you’re so happy to see that Nicole and Shayla are at it. “Omg hi” you say sitting down next to Nicole and belly sits between you and Shayla

“Hi, I’m so happy that you decided to do this you to belly” Nicole says looking over at her “I’ll be your guys big sister” she tells everyone

“Ugg I can’t believe I actually have to do this” Marcia says who is one of the girls at the table

“At least they are letting you bring your girlfriend”Shayla says

“Yeah I only asked that because I thought they would say no” Marcia says and we all laugh a little at that.

“Speaking of dates” Gigi says who has beautiful big brown eyes and blond hair “ belly are you dating Jeremiah”.

Before either me or belly can answer who just shoved a giant piece of cake in her mouth. Nicole says “actually y/n is dating Conrad and belly isn’t dating anyone” she looks at belly and adds “that’s just what y/n told me”.

You choke a little on the water you took a sip of and everyone at the table looks up at you “actually me and Conrad aren’t dating anymore” you tell them picking at the food on your plate.

“Wait really” Shayla says looking at you with concern the say face you have seen on everyone’s face lately.

“Yeah anyway” you say trying to avoid the question “why are you asking Gigi”

“It’s because she has had a crush on him sense he got a six pack” Nicole says laughing and gigis face turns a little pink.

“I kinda like him before that” she says and we all burst out in laughter before we all go quiet when Paige starts talking about the ball.

You pull out your phone bored and start to scroll through it. Nicole nudges your arm and is holding a flask under the table. You smile up at her grabbing it and pouring some of it into my drink before I pass it to belly. She gives me a strange look before she grabs it to and I smile at her losing up. When you look up you spot those little sandwiches that Jeremiah stole and pull up your guys texts.

You: I will bring you some of those sandwich’s so next time you don’t get in trouble lol

Jere: omg thank you I will meet you outside the pool after my sift 🫶

You: I can give them to you at home my mom is giving me a ride back with belly

Jere: I will give you a ride home don’t worry I want my sandwich’s

You: ok fine

For some reason your heart rate picked up at that but you don’t know why and you know it shouldn’t. You can’t have this type of feelings for him ever he is not only your best friend but now your exs brother.

[azsazz]

Will you please please give us your thoughts on Iron Flame?!?!

Fourth Wing/Iron Flame Spoilers below cut!

So...

First off, there was so much world building that I was kind of confused. I just kind of gave up at some point and read it for the characters lol. maybe it's because i didn't re-read fourth wing before.

the names of everything was a little annoying because they were all so unique i spent like two minutes trying to figure out how to pronounce everything. like she has four basic names (liam, sloane, violet, jack) and the rest I'm like ?!?!?!? WHO?

Speaking of Jack...I'm not sure I liked that whole thing. There wasn't any alluding to the fact that he'd be back in the first book, and I feel like he basically appeared out of nowhere in the second. Yes, we knew the healer was helping mend his soul (which is interesting af to me because how many others could they have helped? or is it just because he was a venin?) but the man literally had a fucking mountain dropped on him?! No way he would've survived I'm sorry.

I thought all of the fighting between her and Xaden was kind of annoying...like come on. And we learned so much about xaden but not at all at the same time?! like, now he can read minds, which means violet misinterpreted the sage/venin dreams because I'm assuming they came from xaden now, he was probably projecting them on her subconsciously.

chapter 48 was hot tho, the throne sex stuff, always a banger in my book.

why the hell was everyone keeping so many secrets from violet. like xaden, the dragons, her family...they keep saying how smart she is and stuff but like, that doesn't mean she should have to figure out everyones secrets for themselves?! betrayal.

also, how the fuck does someone become venin? was that explained in the first book or this one because now xaden is somehow one and idk how that happened?!

low-key i'm happy dain and her are getting closer again, but also your childhood's best friend's dad trying to kill you? i feel like that was unwarranted tbh. then he got sent away because of it and i wonder if he's going to make a reappearance.

also, andarna...she was hardly in the damn book. and i didn't think her lines were anything really special. i feel like she's basically only in the book for one specific plot point and the rest she's just off sleeping or with the elders or doing something else so ry doesnt have to write her?

omg the part where nadine said she was violet and that guy immediately snapped her neck was fucking WILD.

and the whole thing with cat was like petty as fuck but her power seems interesting. i enjoyed reading the challenge violet had when she was messing with her emotions.

let's see...i wonder what violet's second signet is going to be. she kept mentioning how well andarna could blend into her surroundings so im wondering if invisibility is one that could happen...or maybe the transportation one that they said hadn't been a thing for a long time. i feel like why mention that if she isn't going to bring that back too.

also, the headers before each chapter scare me. RECOVERED letters from xaden to violet....recovered from where and why whats going to happen 😭

wow, this was a lot of thoughts lol...i also want a bonus chapter from tairn or another dragons pov because i feel like him and sgayl were fighting a lot this book but i want to know what they're saying to each other.

overall, i enjoyed the read and the midnight release experience was so much fun and cute and clever and i def think they should bring those back. maybe for cc3 they'll do that!

[sharksa-shivers]

idk if i posted this one before but whatever lol, if i did, you get it again

(alas, my memory shit, i am sorry...Anyway lol) ---------------

(Sharky having to ask OH for cash on the phone, all 3 of em are broke)

Orange Hair:(answering her phone, we see the screen split so we can see both Sharky and Orange talking, Orange working with some chemicals and Sharky leaning up against a building, him just walking around as they talk)Hello?

Sharky:(obviously having to work up a bit of nerve, we can see he's obviously kind of anxious about this)Heyyyyyy, uh…So…I'm just gonna cut to it and not waste your time and blah blah blah, uh…Look, can i have like…500 bucks? Please?

Orange:(raises an eyebrow)500? What for?

Sharky:(anxious, trying to keep it cool and together)Uh, gas money, food money, hotel money, supplies like bullets and stuff…Uhhh, very not cheap stuff that we need andddd collectively all 3 of us together have…(pulls money out of jacket pocket)…12 dollars and 67 cents…and yknowwwww, kinda got like another day of travel ahead andddddd-

Orange:(we see her think for a moment before she just…turns this shit on its head)Hmmm……….Yeah- uhhhhhh…No.

Sharky:(he sits a moment)…..What? No?

Orange:(repeats)No. Nope. Non. Nien. Nada. Natu. No. What? You didn't hear me?

Sharky:(we just see him kind of snap a small bit)I…….Orange, i…We really need money!!!!

Orange:(working with her chemicals, writing down info)Ok…….The answer is still no.

Sharky:(nerves snapping mentally continues, getting kind of pissed and frustrated)Literally why?????? You're a multi-millionaire!!!! $500 is pennies for you!!!!!!

Orange:(unphased by his frustration)Pretty simple, gotta learn to deal with problems like this sooner or later, especially when it comes to demon fighting. You have any idea how many times i've had demons steal my cash and leave me fucked? It's gonna happen sooner or later and you 3 are gonna have to know how to deal with it. Life's fucking rough, it's how it is.

Sharky:(breaking)We literally do not have money for a place to sleep or food!!!! We have 12 fuckin dollars!!!!!

Orange:(unphased still)You got a car and i'm sure you 3 can figure out some resource for food…You're all very smart, you can do this very easily, i've seen the shit Max alone can do.

Sharky:(freaking out)Do you have any idea the amount of danger this puts us in???? Like…Any idea at all????

Orange:(stares blankly)Uhhh, yes? Very much so. Yes. Mmhmmm…If it gets too deadly or whatever, i'll bail you guys out butttttt since it's not there yet, seems like perfect survival experience time here to me…

Sharky:(he just kinda sits there in disbelief)………

Orange:(annoyed)You done yet? Can i get back to my work now?

Sharky:(he just kind of falters and accepts the answer, knowing he can't fight her)…….Yeah, guess i'm done…

Orange:(picking up her phone)Excellent, excellent…You 3 stay safe out there, don't come home dead please.

Sharky:(annoyed as fuck, freaking out)Yeah, sure, i'll try…

Orange:(finger on the button)Alrighty then, goodbye…

(We see her cut the line and Sharky's just there staring at his phone…We see him mutter "Shit!" Under his breath and then we cut back to Max and Kristy chilling in the car…) Kristy:(boredly messing with her hair)…You think maybe like…I dunno, i could go for a different style by now or?

Max:(on his phone, rapidly typing)Uhhhh, maybe!!! That's kinda up to you, i don't really know much about human hairstyles and whatnot…

Kristy:(looking at herself in the visor mirror)Like…I like this being shoulder length and sometimes i wanna cut it but if i don't like it, then i have to wait like…a few months for it to grow out again so like…

(Sharky opens his door and flops into the drivers seat, frustrated)

Sharky:(stressed as fuck)God…FUCKIN damnit…Fuck…

Kristy:(concerned)Wait, what happened?

Max:(looking up, texting)Is OH gonna be making this a pain in the ass again?

Sharky:(nods)YEP, SHE SURE IS!!!! She said she isn't gonna give us anything, she wants US to survive on our own, fucking…Fuck!!!!

Kristy:(eyes widen)What???

Max:(just kinda stares, he seems kind of unphased but he wasn't expecting this exactly)…Welp…

Kristy:(confused)Literally how and why???? Wait, what???? She has so much cash, she literally wouldn't even miss it!!!!!

Sharky:(Leans back, mentally tired)She pushed it basically as "this is part of the job!" Kinda shit, i tried going at it from that angle, didn't do shit.

Max:(annoyed, texting, looks up)Gonna just ask, does uhhhh, does Orange know that when people say "eat the rich" that DOES INCLUDE her or? Cuz uhhhh, i'm just saying, she's making that sound quite tempting and uhhhhh…I wouldn't hesitate…

Kristy:(just looks back at Max, gives him a weird look)……What?

Max:(smirks)You heard me.

Sharky:(frustrated)Look, doesn't matter, she's not gonna fucking help, we have to figure out something else to do…

Kristy:(thinking, she perks up)Wait, we could ask Nucleo!!!

Max:(typing on his phone)I got him on speed dial, hold up…

Sharky:(just gazes over)No, God, don't be bothering Nucleo okay???

Max:(confused)Why not? He helped us last time.

Kristy:(remembering)He did but…Wait, Orange also got onto him for that, uhhh…I…Don't wanna get him in trouble again…

Max:(amused)Nucleo legit daydreams about Orange punching and kicking him in the face, it'd be fine. It's his like…Kink or whatever…

Sharky:(getting more annoyed)No!!! It's not fine!!! Just!!!! (Trying to calm down, let's out a big breath)Let's just…Try and figure out a way to deal with this that doesn't involve dragging other people into this okay????

Max:(on his shit)Capitalism literally cannot exist without you dragging othe-

Sharky:(snapping again)I KNOW ABOUT CAPITALISM BEING SHIT MAX, HOLY FUCK, CAN YOU BOTH JUST STOP FOR 5 SECONDS???? LOVE OF POSEIDON!!!!!!!

[skrrtscree]

Viva Las Vengeance is out so I decided to waste 43 minutes of my life and here's my thoughts.

Note: any song after Local God is my first time listening to it, so all these reactions were written as the song was playing.

Also I'm using the tumblr app so idk how to cut text sorry.

Viva Las Vengeance:

This song has already been shat on to death for good reason

The verse and the chorus don't fit at all with each other

And the slow part near the end is not it😬

Middle of A Breakup:

Just saying this now the lyrics on these songs are VERY on the nose AND unoriginal

'Keep your disco, give me T-Rex' tf is that suppose to mean???

It's meh. Not as painful as the first one for sure.

Don't Let the Light Go Out:

Said it before and I'll say it again: Ed Sheeran knock-off.

Shows that Brendon doesn't need uplifting beats and screehing to make a good song

Well 'good' is subjective but this is one fo the better ones.

Local God:

This song should be in JAIL.

I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT IHATE IT-

Doesn't flow together AT ALL

It's 2022 Brendon why did you make an ENTIRE 3 MINUTE SONG about a guy you haven't talked to in YEARS???

Star Spangled Banger:

the title is a obvious lie, this shit ain't banging at ALL

Why is brendon sing-talking some parts in the verse?? Could he not fit all the lyrics in??

Good to know that the verse and the chorus not fitting together is gonna be a running theme throughout this album

God Killed Rock and Roll:

I swear the beginning of with the piano this sounds like a cheap knockoff of bohemian rhapsody

The musical flow of this song SUCKS so much its kinda funny. It starts with piano with an accompany of a chorus which is the only decent part of the entire song, then the pre-chorus has a quicker beat and the switch feels so abrupt.

I don't like that it sounds like brendon is trying to chase the lyrics in the chorus

Say it Louder:

Ngl the beat actually sounds good???

'For the people in the back(back,back,back) bros trying to create his own echo💀

None of it sounds out of place so far.. his voice does kind of sound a bit werid though its kind of expected of him at this point

OK nvm, it got slow again around the middle

Sugar Soaker:

The come on come ons do not fit the beat of the chorus. They fit the verses just fine though.

He's definitely making the choruses sound 'fulfilling' when it's just the verse but upped an octave. It just comes off as lifeless..

Wtf were those come ons at the end, its like hes creating dramatic tension through audio

Something About Maggie:

HELP NOT THAT HIGH NOTE FOLLOWED BY ALL THE LOW ONES, yeah that made me actually laugh

'Let him GOOO🤩' 'people say people say run away run away😈'

Sorry but the only ones who wrote a good line about slitting wrists were MCR and that was in 2004 🙄

Also Panic hasn't really been 'emo' since Fever (maybe Vices but that's pushing it) so not only is this line just yeesh it doesnt fit at all.😬

So glad Brendon decided to embrace his snake persona with how he's saying his s' at the end of sentences

'oh yeah'😚

Brendon PLEASE stop messing up the track by switching beats halfway through it

a a a a a a a a

Friendship ended with Sarah, now Maggie is my bestie

Sad Clown:

Title is kinda self-aware, ain't it?

Alright Brendon we know you were on Broadway but that doesn't mean you have to force yourself to sing like that on your songs

Only dogs can hear it I stg

Great he got slow AGAIN out of no where, cause that went so well the last time he did it (viva las vengeance)

All By Yourself:

Another self-aware title damn, he's on a kick with these.

He likes mentioning those posters on my wall. Ironically I have two IDKHOW and FØB posters and none of him lol.

Even with a slow song like this, it still feels like he's forcing himself to sing higher than he has to.

He was right about changing everything all by himself though.

This actually sounds pretty nice, I will admit.

Do it To Death:

What else is there left to say? It sounds the exact same as the other songs..

It keeps teasing me thinking he's gonna say something else-OH SCREW OFF NOW THIS 'shut up and go to bed' SHIT AGAIN

I sat through 40 minutes of your mediocre music just to get jumpscared with a viva las vengeance callback END ME

In short: im disappointed but not surprised. This doesn't even feel like Panic anymore. The lyrics are bland and repetitive, Brendons vocals are truely fighting on their last legs and the songs can't commit to a single beat. It's like he had too many ideas and thought he could execute them all but he couldn't. I can't believe this album is actually real, I refuse to listen to this ever again.

If the studio versions of these songs sound so dogshit, I canNOT wait to hear about the tour versions.

Bonus note: the song spotify decided to auto play right after finishing the album was Famous Last Words which idk whether to laugh or cry.

[ctrlaltsoob]

20. stupid, stupid, stupid - take a hint (csb)

summary: worrying about anything else couldn’t matter less to huh y/n, who cares so desperately at beating the one and only choi soobin in absolutely everything she can. although maybe there are some things than only can take the trophy for first…

or where two people fail to realise that the line between love and hate is very thin, even though they might be the smartest in their studies.

warnings: swearing, empty insults, cliché writing pls i’m so sorry idk how to word things anymore

a/n: Hi . so college is busier than i expected (surprise), so i’m gonna update tah on wednesday evenings-thursday mornings GMT time. this weeks update is kinda underwhelming (literally filler) bc i was not prepared for how busy everything is

STILL i want to continue updating bc i like writing for fun so pls bear with me as i get used to this new lifestyle😭😭 i’m also in the process of writing a beomgyu one shot so keep an eye out for that !!

19. #goals | masterlist | 21. Okay…

more under the cut [wc. 1.9k]

stupid brain. stupid mind. stupid heart.

it’s what soobin’s been saying to himself for the past week. every little interaction with you has been replayed at least fifty times in his head, and he finds a new thing to regret and fret over each time. you’re slowly edging back to the shell of whatever relationship you had back then, and it hurts not only his head, but also his heart, because of course, you surely don’t see it that way. afterall, it’s always him who fails to interpret things correctly.

“what’s wrong with you?” soobin feels a finger poke at his side. he instantly recognises your voice, and your concern has his head spinning.

“nothing,” he shrugs, shoving his hands into his pockets so that he doesn’t end up picking at his nails in front of you.

he hears you scoff beside him. “you’re a shit liar, you know?” he can hear the concern under your playful tone, and he hates it. he hates how you’re so considerate towards him, because it only messes with his head even more. “you always hide your hands when you get nervous, or when you’re lying.”

“are you stalking me? that’s a bit creepy,” he squints, watching as you roll your eyes with a small smile on your face. somehow he’s glad that he amuses you.

“i’m just a very observant person, and i just happen to notice that you do this often.”

hiding his hands is not something he does voluntarily, but rather something that he’s grown accustomed to whenever you’re around. shoving his hands in his pockets, or making sure they’re preoccupied with holding something ensures that he’s not doing something dumb, like tucking your hair behind your ears or holding onto your sleeve so that you don’t get lost when you walk in big crowds. yet somehow he ends up doing all this anyway, because while it’s a reflex to hide his hands away, it feels more natural to have them near you in some way. it’s not intentional, but rather a precautionary measure — one that never seems to work.

stupid brain.

“well, i’m fine,” he says, ignoring the way you squint your eyes in disbelief. the streets of seoul are busy as shit, and there’s way too many people here for his comfort, but he’d rather you not know that. “why do you ask?”

“because you look like you’d rather be anywhere but here,” you say truthfully, which makes him blink in surprise. “i know you hate big crowds, so why are you here today?”

“choi beomgyu is the root of all my problems,” he says, trying his best to not think about how you’re so attentive when it comes to him. “your stupid cousin is also to blame.”

he sees you roll your eyes, but with more intent this time. “sunghoon is so slow. i don’t understand how he is my blood.”

“must run in the family then.”

the way you glare at him and reach up to push his forehead makes him wonder what exactly thing one and two said for you to be so comfortable with him. it’s a little strange how you’ve essentially switched up so fast, but he’s glad about it nonetheless.

“i hate you,” you mumble, but the way the corner of your lips curve upwards ever so slightly tells him that there’s a chance you’re not telling the truth. “going back to the others now. you annoy me.”

“is that so?” there’s a fond smile on his face as you avoid his eyes. “is that why you’re still holding onto me so that you don’t get lost?”

your eyes shoot wide open as you quickly release your grasp on his bag. he chuckles softly upon seeing your reaction, grabbing your hand and returning it to its previous position.

“i’m only joking,” he laughs, wincing when your fingertips pinch his side. the huff you let out as you mutter out what seems to be a string of insults only makes him laugh even more.

as you two weave your way through the crowded streets of seoul, your hand moves to cling onto his arm. it’s not that big of a deal, but it is big enough to make his head spin with too many thoughts. you’re too close to him, way too close to him, especially when someone shoves past you and forces you into his side. a flurry of apologies leave your mouth afterwards, but he’s too busy trying to keep his face cool and stop thinking about how strangely cold it is once you’ve stepped away.

stupid mind.

by the time you’ve both reunited with your friends, soobin’s still trying to calm the annoying thoughts of you that keep invading his head. he hopes that no one can see how red his face is, or how bothered he’s suddenly become, but one short-lived eye contact with heesung tells him that he’s been found.

“you’re fucked,” his friend says, eyeing how soobin’s gaze has become hyperfocused on a random street sign. “you’re so fucked.”

“i literally do not know what you’re talking about.”

“the redness on your face says otherwise,” the arch in heesung’s brow makes soobin’s stomach plummet, because he swears he was doing a good job at hiding it. “you’re gonna kill yourself in the process if you keep denying this.”

“i deny nothing,” he says, immediately correcting himself with: “i mean, i deny nothing because there is nothing to deny.”

“right…”

“shut up.”

heesung decides to press no further, seeing how soobin’s arm is suddenly being dragged by your hand to a nearby food stall. he watches as you point out several foods, inevitably forcing the man to pay for all of your choices. it’s a strange sight, seeing as you two have the most dysfunctional relationship anyone’s ever seen — you push and he shoves, he pulls and you tug, yet here you are sharing street food from a random stall like you’re something akin to friends.

“you’re only here for my money,” soobin frowns, watching you nod contently. around half of his bank account has been drained purely because you keep pointing at things, and he keeps buying them for you.

“what use are men, if not for their wallets?” you say with an innocent look on your face, and although he knows you’re only joking, the idea of you only talking to him for something as materialistic as money and not something else has his heart dropping slightly.

“i could at least get a thank you,” he mutters, looking away to hide the red that creeps up on his face as your thumb wipes something from his face. “where are your manners?”

“is this enough?” you muse, hand still touching his face for no apparent reason. whatever mess you saw on his cheek must be long gone, but he finds that he quite likes the feeling of your hand against his skin. it’s strange, it’s unusual, yet your hand doesn’t move, nor does your thumb stop brushing the same spot of skin over and over again.

and when he turns his head to look at you, soobin makes the mistake of looking directly into your eyes. it makes his skin burn — he’s sure that you can see it too. you two work like pieces of unfinished clockwork, but your hand fits so nicely against his face that he’s starting to think this is something else.

flames burn within his chest as his eyes stare into yours. there’s something there, something that he can’t quite decipher yet. it feels like a weight pushing against his heart, trying to tell him something, but he can’t think clearly, not when you consume his mind as his heartbeat thrashes in his ears. it’s dangerous, but it’s not a new friend.

stupid fucking heart.

it’s not until your hand freezes and the regret flashes in your eyes that forces soobin back into reality. you’re not friends, you’re not lovers, and you’re certainly not close enough in the slightest to be acting like this, so you pull your hand away from his face which has his heart aching strangely. he knows that he shouldn’t have enjoyed that, and he knows that he shouldn’t be disappointed in the lack of skin-ship with you, so why does he suddenly feel empty without your touch against his skin?

“thanks,” you suddenly say, which only throws soobin’s mind into further peril. why are you so casual about this? why aren’t you freaking out like he is? it can’t just be him, right?

he can only nod as a response, too busy questioning everything to be able to come up with a concrete answer. your hand is far from him now, and you stand like two walls built incorrectly too close to each other. it’s awkward, to say the least, and when you stretch your hand outwards to offer him whatever food he ended up paying for, he finds himself staring at you for what seems the millionth time.

“what?”

“do you want some?” you ask this question like it’s not already obvious, like you weren’t just caressing his face in public. “i mean, you did buy it, afterall.”

soobin doesn’t say anything as he pulls a warm bun out from the paper bag, for fear of his voice cracking or something stupid like that. he soon realises that you’ve chosen red bean buns, something that you bought for him years ago because they were his favourite thing to eat whenever he got hungry. you probably don’t even remember that, so he tells himself that it’s just some random coincidence and not your thoughtfulness coming into play. you’re not friends, he tells himself.

you’re not friends.

soobin feels stupid. he feels stupid because he can’t properly talk to you, and he feels stupid because he wants to properly talk to you. somehow everything seems stupid when it comes to you, like all logic and common sense flies out the window whenever you come into the picture. it’s frustrating, for lack of a better word, that soobin fails to function like a normal human being whenever you’re around. he blames you, for existing, for making his life so difficult.

perhaps a life without you would be easier. a blessing where you’re not invading his thoughts, affecting his mannerisms, confusing his mind — without you, life would be straightforward, uncomplicated. he believes this like the feeling of you dragging him around the city doesn’t make him feel carefree, like seeing you in his shirt doesn’t make his head spin, because he refuses to admit any of this. he refuses to acknowledge the affect you have on him, purely because it makes him feel dumb.

still, you exist in his life to make it so irritatingly complicated. but he lets you take his hand and do whatever you want because he’s, well, stupid.

taglist (open): @bergandysam @beepbopbee @minbit @shwizhies @glyxiebear @lowxkie @rlajjunie @nobodyshallenter

[pangborns]

ONLY YOU, MY GIRL,

ONLY YOU, BABE.

constance berman x fem!reader

in which isaac’s little sister is caught by the possessed cyrus miller.

angst, gore, character death, fear street: 1666 spoilers. just kinda messed up, but follows the story line of 1666.

first off, this is long and idk how to do the whole ‘keep reading’ thing SO IM SORRY. also, I didn’t know how to like write the gory ass part so it may be a little all over the place. anyways, ily all!!

“Please, Isaac…” you begged your older brother. “I want to go so bad. I promise I’ll behave!”

“No, (y/n). You know the ceremony is only for big kids. No children allowed. This is the end of it.” Isaac dismissed his sister, attempting to push by you to continue shoveling the manure on the dirt path.

You groan, throwing your arms up in anger as you turn to make your exit. You spot Sarah, making her way down the busy road, nodding in your direction.

“The full moon rises before nightfall.” Isaac muttered in the girl’s direction. A playful lilt in his soft spoken voice.

“A good night to enjoy the fruits of the land.” Sarah smirked. “Try to clean yourself before then.”

You snorted at that, looking back down at the horse droppings that your brother was scooping up. Sarah sent you a friendly wink before heading on her way.

Realizing that convincing your brother was no use, you decided to find some of the other kids - specifically the ones old enough to want to go to the ceremony.

“Excuse me, Sarah.” You quickly commented as you jogged by her, keeping an eye out for a mess of bright red hair.

You passed a few notable figures on your search for Constance, including the intimidating Alderman Goode and his drunken buddies. They didn’t spare you a glance, thankfully, as you continued on.

“(y/n)!” Somebody called. You rolled your eyes as you registered who the voice belonged to. “(y/n).” They repeated again as they caught up to you, matching your steady pace. “Have you seen my sister anywhere? She’s always so quick to run off.”

Abigail Berman.

“No, Abigail. I was just looking for her actually.” Personally, you were not a fan of the other Berman sister as she always made it a point to boss you and Constance around.

“-blind as a bat. Pastor Miller blind as a bat. Tried to read the Bible and his eyes went splat!”

Abigail groaned as she spotted the younger girl. “Why can’t she ever leave those children alone? They’re only learning to misbehave with her around.”

You didn’t speak, only watching as Constance goofed around with the kids. It was adorable, you admired that she had such a way with the younger children in town.

As you neared the group, Abigail split off to zero in on her sister. “Don’t be a brat, Constance!” She scolded, grabbing her arm harshly.

“Don’t be a shrew, Abigail.” Constance shot back, straightening her posture and arching a brow.

“Sarah!” Abigail changed the tone of her voice as Sarah approached. “The full moon rises before nightfall.”

“A good night to enjoy the fruits of the land.” Sarah replied.

“I’m coming too!” Constance smiled proudly.

“So am I!” You spoke up, “but don’t tell Isaac.”

“No, you’re not.” Abigail spoke to the both of you.

“I’ll tell mother.” Constance smirked, waiting for Abigail to think of a snarky reply.

“You tell mother and I’ll cut your braids right off your head.”

Constance rolled her eyes, breaking free from her overbearing sister’s grip and grabbing your hand. “I’ll get us to the party dear (y/n), don’t you worry.” She smiled kindly. The two of you intertwined fingers and ran off towards the church. When it wasn’t in session, you and the red head loved to just sit in the pews and talk. Mostly just paying each other compliments and gossiping.

Later that night, you two did successfully sneak into the gathering. You were both able to score a few sips of the wine without getting caught by either of your siblings - who both happened to be beside each other for most of the night.

“We should probably head back.” Constance spoke quietly. “There’s no way we’ll get our hands on those berries and without them we’ll be bored out of our minds.” She finished, nodding towards the group of kids sharing the few berries they were able to grab.

“I suppose you’re right.” You smiled. “Thank you for getting us out here. Older kids are boring.”

You both laughed at the statement. You eventually settled down into a comfortable silence, just staring into each other’s eyes. “Come on,” you bit your lip in thought. “Let’s head back.”

Both you and Constance hurried off towards the woods in the direction to town. “I hate these woods.” You commented quietly.

“Why? They’re pretty.” Constance questioned.

“Maybe during the day, but you never know what’s stalking about during the night hours-“ Before you were able to properly finish your sentence, you felt your body run straight into a stiff object.

Landing on your bum, you looked up only to meet eyes with Solomon Goode. The outcast of town.

“Woah, are you alright?” Constance hurried to lift you up by your arm as you continued to stare the man down.

“Sorry, mister.” You started, “I didn’t think you’d be out here at this time of night.” You squinted at him, a suspicious look crossing your features.

“No problem at all, (y/n).” Your eyes widened when you realized that he knew who you were. “But I must wonder what you two were doing out here all alone.”

“Please don’t tell my mom!” You hurried to spit out as you quickly brushed yourself off. “We just wanted to be like the big kids. It won’t happen again.”

Solomon snickered. “Run along now.”

You and Constance righted yourselves before dashing through the remaining part forest and back into the town square.

“That was strange.” Constance commented a few minutes after the encounter occurred.

“I know, but I just hope he doesn’t tell my parents about that. They would imprison me in my bedroom for life.” You giggled. Constance joined in, brushing off the funny feeling she had about the Goode man.

“(y/n)! Wake up!” The shrilling sound of your mother’s voice awoke you from your peaceful slumber.

With a groan, you were able to pull yourself out of your comfortable bed and rush downstairs in your white nightgown.

“Yes, mom?” You asked as you arrived in the kitchen.

“I need you to go next door to the Miller’s and see if their crops are doing any better than ours.” Before you could even ask what was the matter with the food, your mother pulled out a rotting carrot decorated with feasting maggots. “Everything is like this.”

“I’ll be right back.” You nodded, heading back upstairs to change and grab your satchel.

“If you see your brother out there, make sure to pass the word on. I don’t want you two to be eating any of this!” She yelled up the stairs.

When you left to head toward’s the Miller’s house, you were immediately overcome with the feeling of panic. Nearly everybody was surrounding the well, Mad Thomas splurting out some nonsense as a few of the men yanked at the rope.

“What’s going on?” You settled beside Lizzie, watching as the men struggled to pull the bucket up.

“Something’s got the bucket caught.” She shrugged, not too worried over the situation. “I’m sure it’s just jammed.”

“We’ve got it!” One of the men cheered as they quickly reeled the rope up. The drenched body of a dog appeared, attached to the rope by the neck. Everybody gasped, Mad Thomas spoke louder, his words heavier now.

You were quick to cover your eyes and let out a sudden sob at the sight. “I must go find my brother, excuse me.” You muttered to Lizzie, who watched on in worry as you made your exit.

Once your back was turned towards the scene, you were able to pull yourself together better. It must’ve just been a freak accident, nobody in town would’ve been cruel enough to do that.

“Isaac,” You sighed to yourself, thankful to see your brother out and about. He looked up at the sound of his name being called, pausing to take a bite from the bright red apple in his hand. “Wait, don’t eat that!”

He took the bite, not registering what you said until a moment too late. “Yuck!” He spat out the bite, revealing the rotted inside of the fruit. “The hell?”

“All of the crops are like that, mom wanted me to go check with the Pastor and see if they were having the same difficulty.”

Isaac merely nodded, throwing the apple on the trail behind him in disgust. “Alright, I’m going to meet up with Abigail and Lizzie. I’ll see you later, okay?”

Your face dropped. You wanted to hang out with your big brother, so badly. “Alright.” You nodded, turning on your heel to head towards the Miller’s house. “Love you.”

Isaac grunted in response, sending you a fleeting smile before he continued on his merry way.

When you arrived at the Miller’s doorstep, you were quick to knock, hoping to get the encounter over with. Goody Miller wasn’t the kindest woman in town and you didn’t want to make it a point to spend long around her.

The door creaked open slowly, Hannah’s pale face appearing in the crack between the doorframe and the door. “Yes?”

“G’morning. I’m sorry to bother you, but my mom wanted me to ask about your crops. Ours aren’t doing too well and we wanted to know if it was just us or…” You trailed off, awkwardly picking at your fingernails.

“No, it’s not just yours.” She stated quickly. “Look, now is not a good time. My father isn’t feeling like himself, maybe you can come by later and we can talk more.”

“Alright.” You spoke slowly, “Sorry.”

Her chapped lips rose into a kind smile before closing the door. Strange. A smile lit up your face as you had a realization.

Dashing down the streets, hoping to run into the younger Berman sister, you ended up spotting her hanging around the younger kids again. They really were the best company you could get around here.

“Constance!” You shouted eagerly. Catching up to her, you made it a point to whisper into her ear, moving a few strands of bright red hair out of the way first. “Pastor Miller is ill, the church will be all ours today.” You smiled.

She squealed, perking up at the thought. “You kids run along now. (y/n) and I are going to be back in a bit.”

Once the kids were on their way, not very happily mind you, you and Constance were able to run off towards the small church. “This is so exciting.” She laughed.

You nodded, giggling as you pushed open the big doors to the church. Nobody seemed to be paying attention to you as they were all focused on the dead dog in the well.

The doors slammed shut, successfully scaring you. You jumped, falling into Constance with a squeal. She laughed at you, squeezing you close. “Don’t be so scared, I won’t let anything happen to you.”

The both of you sat in a pew, her head resting on your shoulder, an arm around your waist. ‘Shit’ you thought, ‘I really like this girl.’

“Constance?”

“Yeah?” She lifted her head with a smile, looking up into your kind eyes.

You panicked. What were you supposed to say now? “I think something is wrong with me.”

She sat up fully now, showing you that you had her full attention. “What? Why would you think that? You’re perfect.”

You took a deep breath, preparing yourself to confess to her. Share this secret part of yourself with her. “Because, I think I like you.” You spoke quickly, looking down at your intertwined hands.

“Don’t be silly, why would that mean there was something wrong with you? I like you too.”

Your head dropped, “No, like.. I like-like you..”

Constance lifted her head again, smiling like an idiot. “Then there must be something wrong with me too, because I like-like you also..”

The two of you just stared at each other in a content silence for a few moments before the church doors creaked open eerily.

“Where are we going Pastor Miller?” The voice of a child spoke as a group of people entered the small church. You and Constance turned towards the noise, noticing that the only people that walked in happened to be the Pastor and all of the children in town.

The Pastor didn’t say a thing as he led the kids down the aisle, instructing them to take a seat witha wave of his hand. The kids obeyed, Henry - Sarah’s little brother - making it a point to sit in the front, leaving all of the other kids to sit closer to the exit.

You and Constance didn’t say a word as you tried to gauge the situation.

“Now children, who would like to go first?” He finally spoke. His voice quiet, yet booming.

A few kids excitedly raised their hands, not knowing what they were volunteering for. They were jumping in their seats, smiling at the chance to please the Pastor.

“You.” Cyrus pointed towards a little girl a bit further in the back, using a sharpened hook to motion her towards him.

Minutes later, you and Constance found yourselves curled into each other in comfort. She stroked your hair and shushed your cries and she too shook in fear. “It’ll be alright, the other townsfolk will realize we’re missing and come looking for us.”

The dead bodies of multiple children sat all around the remaining living souls in the room. Some children cried, some were frozen in shock, all you could do was stare at the pile of eyeballs in the middle of the aisle.

“I want my brother.” You sobbed, realizing that you’d just witnessed one of your brother’s friends lose a sibling as Henry fell to the pew, blood dripping from where his eyes used to be.

“I know, I know..” Constance sobbed, kissing the top of your head. You both quickly realized that the two of you were now the last living kids in the room. Multiple children already tried to doors, realizing that Cyrus had locked them long before now.

Pastor Miller stalked closer and closer to the two of you. “Please, no!” You screamed, people outside must’ve heard the commotion as you heard a few bangs against the wooden door.

You clung to Constance like a lifeline as Cyrus grabbed your upper arm and tried to pry you off of her. “Don’t let him hurt me, please Constance!” You panicked.

Eventually, he ripped you off of her, ignoring both of your cries. “Isaac! Mom!” You cried in fear.

“Shh.. it’ll be alright, (y/n).” Constance tried to comfort you in your last moments. She had already accepted her fate.

She mouthed something to you before the Pastor had harshly turned you towards him. ‘I love you’.

The last thing you saw was the cruel face of Pastor Miller before your vision had gone dark, the last thing you heard was Constance’s helpless scream, and the last thought in your head was her smile. God, how you would miss it.

The door caved in as Solomon gave it one final thrust. He paused, realizing how silent the church was. It was a heavy silence, a scary silence.

“Keep everyone back.”

“Solomon, wait..” Sarah begged, Isaac beside her and frantic as ever.

“My sister is in there, please, let me in!” He pushed at the men standing guard.

Solomon stalked through the creaky aisle, noticing the still figures of the children. The rhythmic tapping noise of the Pastor’s hook against his wooden stand sped up as Solomon glanced at the pile of eye’s on the ground. “Cyrus..?”

His mumble of prayer got louder as Solomon connected the pieces of the puzzle, looking up at the Pastor in horror. The man raised his head, crimson blood dripping from his eye sockets.

Solomon’s eyes widened, he turned towards the left, looking towards two girls who seemed unmoving. Constance Berman, and (y/n)(l/n). Constance’s head was once again leaned onto her counterpart’s shoulder.

The door broke open, frantic family members searching for their children amongst the bloody mess.

“Isaac, Isaac I see them!” Abigail yelled towards her friend in relief. The two rushed over to the pew and kneeled down in front of their sisters. Isaac fell against the other pew in fright at the sight of his dead sister, her blood still fresh. Abigail screamed, embracing the red head as she shook.

Isaac’s hand ran down his sister’s face, he was frozen. Tears had started to run down his dirt caked face. “…(y/n)..?” He started meekly. The sounds of his mother’s sobs were heard before she even entered the church.

How could the town recover from something like this?

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

oh thank god i didn’t have to wait until 8p

okay, here’s your 11b season premiere review. heavy spoilers under the cut, obviously, and as always, it is a stream of consciousness mess of unedited thoughts that is up to you to untangle. have fun:

i already know i’m going to get scenes out of order but i can only be the person that i am, sorry in advance

but anyway, our story starts off with our special effects crew having way too much fun in the CGI room making walkers explode. it’s like a rly rly rly grim fourth of july fireworks display

oh, and maggie is being chased by a reaper whose name i have already forgotten

carter? does that sound right?

who knows, but basically she gets away, she and negan meet back up, and go and hide, and negan, as he has literally since the start of this mission, is like “can we please, for the love of christ, go tf home?”

and maggie is like “nope, still got Mission(tm) left to complete!” 

TITLES!

pop over to alexandria real fast where judith and gracie are having the world’s worst pool party, and lydia, rosita, and that one chick who still wears the stupid kingdom outfit finally notice that they’re missing, but they’re busy trying to keep a horde of walkers from messing up the upstairs, so everyone’s in a bit of a bind

jump cut to daryl fighting some dude in what appears to be a classroom of some sort. they tussle, as boys do, and then daryl stabs him in the gut, and the guy looks SO offended. like “what?? how could you??” like. bruh. that was the whole point here

while daryl is busy suffocating the offended guy to death, leah knocks on the door and is like “[name i’ve also forgotten], are you in there?” (cue daryl strangling the dude a little faster)

daryl bounces just as leah breaks in and sees her dead buddy on the ground. she kneels at his side and says sorrowfully, “no more”

she is not correct

moving on!

i thiiiink it was gabriel’s scene next?

i don’t know for sure, but also i want to talk about it so i don’t care, let’s get into it

gabriel bursts into a room where that creeply reaper priest happens to be (convenient, mb it was god’s divine intervention and/or the screenwriters)

creepy reaper priest is like, “aww, bud, you aren’t gonna kill me. god told me!” to which gabriel is very hilariously like, “um exCUSE ME? god talks to YOU? you’re not even cute, why would god want to talk to a basic bitch like YOU?”

or something, i may be paraphrasing, but you get the gist

anyway, creepy reaper priest tells gabriel that he’s doing god’s mission, and he thinks the reapers are all swell dudes, and he knows for a fact that gabriel won’t kill him or anyone else, bc The Lord won’t allow it”

this is when gabriel and i had a little side conversation

now, gabe and i have not always gotten along. i HATED that motherfucker for at least a solid three seasons, and then fell into a moderate indifference, with vague disgust that the writers thought he deserved someone as hot and badass as rosita

but i told gabe. i told him, “if you just kill this fucker right now, i will let you keep having sex with rosita and only be slightly disgusted by it”

and for a second there

just one fleeting moment

there was doubt

and then yeah, he just fucking stabbed the creepy reaper priest in the gut and was like “GUESS GOD’S PHONE LINE JUST OPENED UP, HOE!”

again, paraphrasing 

jump back over to alexandria, or maybe this was before gabriel’s scene, who cares, time is a lie, but a-a-ron, carol, connnie, kelly, jerry, and i think magna are in the barn trying to figure out how to make the windmill stop being on fire so the entire town doesn’t get irreparably destroyed, when a-a-ron hears gracie’s Panic Whistle and kicks into Dad Mode and rushes off to the rescue, telling the others to, “idk man, figure it out!”

back at the world’s worst pool party, gracie and judith are not doing great, but a-a-ron jumps in and saves them both by hoisting them up and out the window, like the mfing boss that he is

but that leaves no one to hoist a-a-ron, so suddenly he’s the only girl left at the party, whuh oh

not for long tho! bc soon a shitton of walkers join him!

it was actually very stressful and much better cinematography than the CGI trigger happy dudes at the beginning

i definitely got my scenes mixed up bc this happened in jump cuts, but to finish it out, a-a-ron climbs to the ceiling and clings to it, and then lydia shows up and is like “dude wtf??” and helps him out

huzzah! a-a-ron lives to be a wholesome badass another day

also ig the windmill stopped being on fire? idk i wasn’t paying close enough attention

back in reaperville, maggie, negan, and elijah are fighting maybe-carter in a hallway. it’s a close fight, but they get the upper hand bc negan found a giant bell and knocked the dude out with it

sure

maggie’s about to kill the dude, but daryl shows up and is like “no wait!” and they’re all like “no, this dude’s trash, why would we save him??” and daryl’s like ‘hostage time!”

so they rendezvous with leah, mb-carter all tied up, and daryl has yet another fruitless attempt at telling a rly angry woman to let bygones be bygones and mb no one else has to die

leah isn’t having it

she has a sniper try and take them out, except...wait a minute...that’s not a reaper at the sniper...is that...?

GABRIEL CONTINUES TO BRING THE HEAT THIS EPISODE!

i was proud of him!

negan was also delighted 

leah has no choice but to relent and agree to daryl’s terms, which were that he’d let them all go as long as they never crossed paths again

they start to leave

except daryl made a crucial mistake, which is that maggie is a rly angry woman with a high kill count who is on a huge revenge streak rn, and honestly idk how daryl could forget this after spending two seasons chasing carol around begging her to stop torturing people in the basement and blowing up caves, but i digress

point is, maggie kills everyone but leah

she gets her in the shoulder, and daryl goes after her, but not for any romantic reason. she’s hiding and he’s basically like, “this was fucking stupid. go away or i’ll kill you,” and then he returns to the group

lol, i was just thinking “what happened after that,” but HOW COULD I FORGET??

maggie goes back to the church! to look for skyrim npc alden!

bad news tho!

skrym npc alden is now skryim dead-pc alden

maggie sobs while holding his dead walker corpse. presumably out of joy

also yada yada negan shows up while she’s burying alden and tells her “you murdered all those people out of revenge, and like, you don’t suuuper like me, so i’m not feeling like this is really such a safe place anymore for me to live my truth, so i’m gonna bounce”

so ig negan’s gone off on an adventure

here’s hoping we don’t have ANOTHER negan bottle episode 

mb he and leah will go shack up and he’ll give her the many venereal diseases i’m sure he contracted from alpha

ok recap is getting long, highlights:

gabe and daryl talk faith. it’s fine

daryl gets dog back. good!

carol and jerry are waiting at the tower at alexandria when they return, and they’re kind of like “yay, but also like...didn’t you guys leave with like fifty other people, why are there only four of you?”

daryl goes on a hug fest with the kiddos, carol, and connie

for those of you who are concerned for whatever reason, the hug was exactly what you would expect two good friends to share after one friend thought the other one died in a terrifying cave explosion

for ppl who want to do a little bit of analyzing that may be on the cusp of taking things too seriously, it is worth at least noting that they cut to carol’s expression right after the hug, and carol is explicitly in the frame when daryl is talking to connie

do with that what you will

OKAY MAGGIE BACKSTORY FUCKING OVER THANK GOD

TIME FOR THE FUN SHIT!!!

stormtroopers show up at alexandria, accompanied by eugene

eugene does a nice little introductory speech for lance, who steps up in his nice fancy suit and is like “good evening ladies and gentlemen, have i got a wonderful opportunity for you!”

then it literally cuts to carol, daryl and maggie standing there with identical :\ expressions. beautiful. exactly the dynamic i was hoping for

it then jump cuts to six months later, where we see maggie at hilltop facing off with Stormtrooper Daryl, which, as you know, is the daryl that lives rent free in my brain at all times now

this isn’t a permanent time jump, we’re going to see what happens in between obvi, but we got a fun li’l teaser

they also had the trailer for next episode, and BRUH. FINALLY. FUCKING. COMMONWEALTH. IS. THE. HOT. TOPIC.

that single teaser trailer gave me more serotonin than the entirety of the reaper arc

it also starts off with caryl talking, so yes, our babes are getting back together and are going to be exploring this strange new world together, and i hope that it is MISERABLE for them there

and what if they have scenes with princess??

am i...excited? 

am i...looking forward to a walking dead arc for more than just caryl?

see, that’s why i stan kang. if she can make commonwealth as good as she made the whisperers and have me be invested for more than just whether or not daryl and carol are fucking then i know she must know what she’s doing

not to say that my main focus isn’t daryl and carol fucking

which i hope they do

after they dismantle capitalism 

whew buddy, i am hype

i should probably be less hype, just in case it’s terrible, but at the very least i know i get to see princess again soon and carol in that hot flannel, and those two things alone are enough to sustain me for quite a while

last thing i’ll say is that in the little post-episode thing with kang, she literally didn’t even MENTION leah and daryl’s relationship

didn’t come up for a second

and she is clearly so much more interested in commonwealth. i genuinely think she’s over the reapers too, bc what they have set up for commonwealth is going to be fun as hell

at least here’s hoping

god this is so long, my laptop battery is almost dead and i need to go put shelter laundry in the dryer, what am i doing with my gd life

ok

sign-off time

stay hype, stan kang, and get daryl to go down on carol for five hours straight 2k22,

-diz

[ellsbclls]

you write hurt/comfort so beautifully, it makes me want to have tom comfort me like that ): do u think you could write something where he's taking care of you after a long day at work?? and if it's a little nsfw i wouldn't mind but u dont have to do anything ur not comfortable with. again L O V E ur work!!

thank you so much 🥺 i guess i just try to portray a type of love i think everyone deserves! but also thank you for giving me this idea because my mind went rampant. i also don’t know why the reader is a musician, but just roll with it i guess idk what happened there??? 

i hope this tickles your fancy! nsfw, so extended warnings will be under the cut! please do not interact if you're a minor!!

extended warnings: cue fingering, and some messy, needy sex in the bathtub 🛁✨

The steam rising from the bathtub makes light work of your weary muscles, menthol vapors kissing up your spine, soothing the knots scattered across the length of your back. You were in dire need of this, after the plight of a day you’d endured. A couple of hours in the studio had quickly spiraled into a six hour-session, with nothing to show for it but a lousy sixteen measures of brass ensembles — and by the good grace of your talent and patience, the artist has requested you drop in for their session again.

The thought makes you want to drown.

Instead, you opt to curl into yourself, softly pressing your cheek into your knee, watching the spindles of warmth waft up from your well earned bubble bath. In retrospect, the weight of your day didn’t fall solely on this new client — if you’re being honest, they actually had a lot of potential. You wouldn’t mind having your name tethered to a couple of their hits — but Tom had just returned home from a three month long shoot, and you’ve only been graced the luxury of his presence for less than 24 hours. Any time that isn’t being spent with him feels blasphemous, but since he has yet to return from his unknown whereabouts, you seized the opportunity to flush out as much irritability as possible before he returned.

You didn’t know just how tired you were until you were woken up.

A half an hour passes before you’re tousled from your dreamless slumber by a docile touch, familiar digits scaling the curve of your spine before they take a detour at the nape of your neck, carefully parting stray strands of hair to either side of your frame.

“Tom?” You hum, dulcet tones wafting through the steam akin to a dream as it ebbs from the rim of your subconscious.

“Yes, darling?” He muses, entranced by the frothy remnants of your bath soak as he dips his fingertips into the water.

“I missed you today.” You melt into his touch, allowing your head to fall to the side and survey his attire. His hair is all tousled, chestnut locks sprouting from the bottom of his backwards strewn baseball cap, and those honey-dipped hues you adore so much are creased with concern. You want nothing more than to soothe them away with the pad of your thumb, and so you indulge yourself, reaching over the edge of the tub as you continue to ramble. “I started the day already praying for it to be over with, and somehow, every single inconvenience fathomable decided to fall onto my lap. I mean — who the fuck needs seven different french horn tracks in an overture? A real band barely needs one.” Tom’s nodding along to your ramblings, but you both know that he doesn’t fully under the lengths of your frustration — just as you’ll never truly understand the inner workings of his own career. “The only thing keeping me together was the thought of coming home to you.”

“I’m so sorry, my love,” He coos, and continues to caress your back, working out all of the knots that the steam couldn’t relieve. “If it’s any consolation, I was only running late because I had to stop and buy some pancetta on the way home.”

“Don’t apologize. I assumed you would be back since all your stuff is still here.” You tease, mirroring his bemused smile, letting his world seep into your slowly booting brain. “Pancetta…” Not many people knew this, not even Tom before his first attempt, but the boy could whip up a mean bowl of pasta. You remember floundering across the bed the night before, identical to a little kid throwing a tantrum, moaning over just how badly you were craving carbonara. Silly of you to think that he’d take your melodramatic request in stride. “Are you-“

His enamored gaze is answer enough, but he pairs it with a chaste kiss to your forehead that has you nuzzling into his touch. “Only the best for my lil’ lady.”

You show a mere fraction of your appreciation with a swift, flurry of kisses over his cheekbones, pulling him closer by the downy bundles of his hoodie. Lovedrunk giggles and contented sighs bounce off the tiles before you’re both submerged in a comfortable silence, one that leaves the both of you free to shamelessly examine the other, one clad in their comfy, weatherworn disguise while the other dawns nothing but an enchanted smile. Even with the disparity between your attire, you both end up with flushed cheeks and dopey grins.

Hours, days, years seem to press on until you break the silence with a silly question, one that you ask in hopes of hearing his gentle, candied voice once more — or even better, his laugh. “What would you do if I was as big as a thumbtack? Would you still love me?” You query, a childlike sense of wonderment tinting your sugar-coated sigh.

He takes a second to ponder your questions, taking it into far more consideration than you had in bringing it to fruition. You can’t stifle the tiny puff of air that leaves your lips, the semblance of a chuckle, and Tom, with his wild brow and theatrical ways, whips his head in your direction, sending you a cautionary glare. “I suppose I would…” He starts, only to tap his finger against his bottom lip, drawing the suspense to its boiling point by the time you shove his forearm. “But then again, it doesn’t matter what size you are, there’s no limit to how much I love you.”

“Hmm,” you manage to vocalize. Your heart is now a star, an incandescent ball of fire caged beneath your ribs, and if he hasn’t gathered it by now, then he can bask in the warmth of your smile and know that for him, for him it is the sun.

You have to admit that you got ahead of yourself. One moment, you were binding your lips in a bruising, indulgent union, urging him to bask in the lovelorn rays of light he summoned, but only managing to pull him into the bathtub, fully clothed and unsuspecting. What was once your lukewarm oasis is suddenly a swirling cauldron of spearmint, teatree, and now unmistakable notes of him, sloshing against the edge of the tub as his frame struggles against the latent tide. There’s bound to be one hell of a mess waiting on the bathroom floor, but now that he’s settled in your grasp, you see no reason to fret just yet.

“Y/N.” His voice is deadpan, which can mean one of two things — he’s either overwhelmed with joy, or exhibiting a great deal of restraint in not drowning you right then and there. You choose to cancel out the latter, and offer the best attempt at innocence your babydoll eyes could muster, peering at him through your lashes with a teeth-rotting gleam.

“What?” You ask simply. His eye starts to twitch, and you only double down on your facade. “I just wanted to be closer to you.” Wading through the newly shallow body of water, half of its contents now dispersed across the tile floor, you make light work of his soggy hoodie, sloughing it over his head as he grumbles beneath it, giggling when it catches against that razor-sharp jawline of his.

“Well, you are very close now.” You notice how his voice drops down an octave, and you’re embarrassed to admit just how quickly the coil in your stomach tightens at the sound of it, how it already aches to be pulled taut. 

Tom seems unsuspecting enough when he captures your lips once again, his brims as delicate as baby’s breath against your own, tentative as they glide in a sultry dance. He doesn’t need to coax a confession out of you, the truth is already there, nestled in your urgent, needy pressure, in the whimpers threatening to spill into his lips. He’ll indulge in this little game for a moment longer — where you pretend that you aren’t desperate for his touch, and he pretends that he isn’t just as desperate to provide it — but once you fumble into his lap, clumsily grasping for more, and more, and even more of him, his resolve begins to crumble.

“I need you.” you whisper into the hollow of his mouth, golden-tongued and virtually earnest, coaxing a trembling sigh from the back of his throat.

He hums back, contented, basking in the intoxicating warmth of your silhouette, tracing the curve of your breasts with his knuckles. “Long day, my love?”

“Mhmm,” You demonstrate your point with a wistful sigh,  enveloping his great hands with your smaller ones, coating them in languid kisses until there was no skin left untouched.

You’re just too fucking cute, he muses. He can never say no to you, not even in jest.

Two of his slender digits roam the valley of your stomach, knuckles ghosting over your navel in their listless descent before they venture between your thighs, surveying just how badly you really need him. He dips his middle finger between your folds, tender and slick with your arousal, and emits a husky groan as he traces a steady line between your entrance and the spot just below your clit, ghosting your little bundle of nerves with each taunting caress. “You’re already soaked, my love. This all for me?” He coos, nudging your jaw with the tip of his nose, pressing a wet, open mouthed kiss against the column of your neck.

“All for you,” You sigh, digging your nails into the broad planes of his shoulder. “Please, Tom, please touch me.”

He finally spares you, thumb sloppily circling your clit as he plunges two digits into your opening, welcoming the lithe intrusion with a warm, velvety embrace. You slump into his embrace, nipples straining hard against the soaked fabric of his t-shirt, and raggedly whimper as he starts to work you open. The reminder of your nude form plastered against his clothes, albeit soaking wet, summons another pool of wetness to your core. You’re flooded with thoughts of delectable anguish — of denim kissing your hips, dragging against your bundle of nerves, as he ravages your bare little cunt, proving that you’re so desperate for his cock that you can barely wait for him to undress.

“Is this all you needed, baby? My fingers? You wanted me to stretch this pretty little cunt out?” He can’t stop the filthy words tumbling from his lips, especially not when your tiny mewls of pleasure are flooding his ears — you’re just so soft and pliant under his touch, so eager to be filled to the brim, it’s intoxicating to know that you’ll take anything he has to offer you. “I’ve got you, baby. I’m gonna give you everything you need. Gonna have you spilling all over my fingers and then — fuck! — then i’m gonna fill you up with my cock. How does that sound?

“Y-yeah,” You’re rutting against his palm at this point, grinding down to meet each thrust, to feel impossibly closer, fuller, ambling toward an orgasm that is already barreling toward you. As he finds a new angle, the pads of his fingers nudge against your g-spot, and the heel of his hand careens over your clit with such a delicious pressure that your thighs begin to quake. “‘M so close.” You whine, prompting him to punctuate each thrust with a curl of his fingers, dragging your orgasm from the pit of your stomach.

“Then let go, baby. Let go for me.” You need no further persuasion, your eyes squeezing shut as you teeter off the edge, with nothing but a raspy, desperate string of obscenities, clawing at the slope of his shoulders, and bathing his hand in sultry waves of nectar as it spills from your weepy little hole. His fingers are trapped between your fluttering walls, working you through your climax with nimble, tentative thrusts, stretching each wave of pleasure out until you’re trembling over little ripples.

“That’s it, that’s my girl.” You feel so small beneath his gaze, teeming with endless pools of adoration, like you’re a freshwater clearing and he’s parched. It nearly distracts you from his fingers as they slip from your opening, but each receding wave of bliss is tethered to him, so you groan at the loss of contact. Your walls flutter hopelessly around nothing, chasing the delicious stretch of his digits in their absence, but you’re instantly qualmed by the sound of his zipper being pulled down, no doubt freeing himself from the waterlogged confines of his jeans.

“Can I?” You sink your hands into what little water still remains in the tub, hooking your fingers through the belt loops of his jeans, but he swats your shaky hands away, adamantly shaking his head as a small frown of confusion forms between your brows. “You don’t wanna take ‘em off?”

“This is about you, my love.” He whispers, his free hand smoothing over the small of your back, stroking the patch of dew-ridden skin with his thumb. “And right now, all I wanna do is keep my promise.”

“You’re so good to me,” You whisper just above his lips, leaning back into his touch, peering between your bodies to survey his ministrations. You’re still a bit dazed from your first, earth-shattering orgasm, but the prospect of another has you buzzing with excitement, and Tom knows that look well enough to speed up his course of action.

Pearly veneers sink into the swell of your bottom lip at the mere sight — his cock is beyond compare. Even as its impatiently pulled through the opening of his jeans, it’s put on a mouth-watering display as he leisurely pumps himself, smearing tiny pearls of precum across his flushed, leaky tip with each upstroke. He’s far too enticing, far too pretty with his rosy cheeked, droopy-eyed charm, to resist, and you’re quick to replace his hand with your own, curling your fingers around the base and mimicking a couple teasing pumps before guiding him to your entrance.

Tom spreads his legs a little wider to accommodate you, the sensation of wet denim rubbing against your thighs, knocking your legs farther apart, causes a soft whimper to fall from your lips. It doesn’t take long for you to align the head of his cock with your entrance, teasing him with a couple of lascivious drags through your folds before you sink onto his length, reigniting the remnants of your last orgasm as inch after delicious inch prods your tender walls apart. By the time he bottoms out, you’re nothing but a trembling pile of limbs, and his lips seek out your own just to muffle your staggered breaths with a burning kiss.

You allow yourself a couple of seconds to adjust — no matter how or which way you take him, he still pushes up every crevice of your insides, demanding every square inch of your velvety heat. A wild flurry of crimson blossoms across the high planes of your cheeks as Tom nuzzles his forehead against your own, brushing his nose against yours, coaxing a melodious string of giggles from your chest while you scrunch up your nose. He presses a chaste kiss to the corner of your lips and smiles against the spot. “You look so pretty like this, my love. With that gorgeous smile of yours, and that pretty little pussy squeezing my cock.” You feel like you’ve got whiplash, trying to come to terms with how obscene he can be under such tender movements. “Just wanna turn you over and bury myself inside. See how tight you feel when you’re folded in half.” His hands reach down to rub gentle, circular motions into the small of your back, and you can’t help but pulse around him at the juxtaposition.

Once the uncomfortable stretch of his girth melts into pleasure, you finally start to work yourself over his length, and you swear you can feel every gorgeous ridge and vein of his cock as you rise up to the tip, only to plunge back down with a impish yelp, setting a clumsy, needy pace that certainly gets the job done. You don’t really find your rhythm until Tom helps you out, sinking his fingers into the supple curve of your ass, orchestrating a hard, punishing pace as he drives up into your sopping cunt, meeting you in the middle with each thrust.

All at once, the bathroom is washed in a crude symphony, the combination of your heavy panting and slapping skin intermingles with the shallow splash of water as it laps against the edge of the tub, punctuating the sinful drag of his length, and how the tip pounds against your furthest wall as you impale yourself onto him. You can feel another orgasm start to build, and since Tom has made it his solemn vow to not only study, but master, every little, scrumptious detail of your body, he senses it as well. 

“You got another one for me?” He asks between labored pants. His own orgasm is starting to peak over the horizon, following in the blazing trail you’ve set, you can tell by the way a thin sheen of sweat starts to build against his hairline, and his brows almost meet in the middle, as if the feeling of your pussy pulsing around his cock is unfathomable. He uses the grip he has on your waist to take control, using one hand to scale up the breadth of your back, and as his palms leave a blistering trail up, up, up your sides, he pulls you flush against his chest, attempting to plant his feet against the floor of the bathtub, 

He needs the leverage to piston his hips up into your own, to pound into your greedy hole at an unyielding pace — to keep his promise — and as you start to feel the tell tale edge of your climax cresting over your weary frame, you spoil his shoulder with sweeping, butterfly kisses and flood his mind with sweet, sweet nothings, luring him to the brink with the same dulcet tones you know drive him wild.

His hips stutter into your own, and before the words can even exit your lips, you’re dragged to the edge of bliss with a couple of rough, uncompromising thrusts that have you wildly spasming around his length. He joins you almost immediately, throbbing against your sensitive walls as he fills you to the brim, driving the mixture of your arousal further into you as he fucks you through your orgasm. 

Once he pulls out, he’s quick to wrap you up in a soothing embrace, planting kisses over every acre of skin he can get his lips on, but you’re too focused on the trail of cum leaking down your thighs to really indulge him, curiosity getting the better of you as you gently weave your arm between your bodies and collect the wetness on your thighs. You swear you can feel the rumble of his chest once you pop your fingers into your mouth, humming around the sodden digits, making a spectacle out of the addicting elixir pooling on your tongue, but his glimmer of reinvigorated stamina is put to rest by the sight of your drowsy, half-lidded stare.

“Why don’t we get you dried off? Then I can start dinner.” He hums against your cheek, punctuating his suggestion with yet another chaste kiss. It’s genuinely like he can’t get enough, and neither can you as you sleepily nod.

“Will you wake me up when it’s ready?” You sigh, teetering on the edge of slumber once more.

“Of course, my love.”

[alpacaparkaseok]

Heartbreak Ave.

When they’re in love with you but you have feelings for a different member (Hyung line)

→ tags/warnings: SFW, angstyyyyy (like, I’m sorry but at the same time I wanted to write something sad), no, there’s not a happy ending really idk so read at your own heart’s risk, but like really. I was listening to “Manos de Tijera” while writing this so it’s a wee bit heartbreaking

→ a/n: I don’t really write reactions very often but this seemed fun when @sierra-fics​ brought it up! I actually have one of your suggestions in my drafts, just haven’t finished it up yet. Thanks for the push, though! I love exploring different styles!

read the maknae line version here!

Kim Seokjin

he’s not surprised

it’s probably the worst part for him, the fact that he’s not surprised when your eyes light up as Taehyung waltzes in the room. 

he had been in the middle of plucking up the courage to invite you to try out that new Thai restaurant you’d been chattering about when Tae walked in

and you tried - you really did - to pay attention to what Jin had been saying, but you faltered a bit as Tae greeted you warmly and plopped down beside Jin

and Jin just watched, not surprised. 

although what does surprise him is how much it hurts

that pain where your heart literally, physically hurts? it’s an exquisite pain, one that takes his breath away

and it doesn’t go away

it doesn’t fade

so he ends up in Namjoon’s studio later that night, and Namjoon knows to wait for him to open up

Jin just stares for a while, blankly at the wall

“Does Tae like her?”

Namjoon already knows who he’s referring to. He’s known about Jin’s helpless crush on you for ages, he knew before Jin himself figured it out

but it’s the way that Jin asks the question so softly, so carefully, that Namjoon realizes with a start that this is so much more than a crush

and Jin looks at him, misery clear in his eyes but also clear resolve visible  even as unshed tears glimmer 

“Would you really let her go?” Namjoon counters gently. Because he knows. He knows that if Tae got the green light, you'd be swept up in a matter of seconds.

and it’s the way that Jin stares down at his feet, and the tears begin rolling down his cheeks, that has Namjoon sick to his stomach

Jin nods, and when he speaks, his voice shakes but he sounds so earnest that it breaks Namjoon’s heart

“I’d do anything for her.”

no words are exchanged after that for a long, heart-wrenching moment. it’s just Jin, staring down at his feet and quietly sobbing, and Namjoon, pulling him into an embrace. 

“I’m sorry, hyung.”

it’s surprising to Jin, just how much that soft phrase cuts through him. It sounds so final. 

because at the end of the day, it’s the only solace that can be offered to him. 

he lost. 

he loved, and he lost.

Min Yoongi

you’re sitting beside him in his studio when the realization hits him like a freight train

sprawled sideways in your designated swivel chair while you stifle a yawn and rub your eyes, Yoongi wonders when he let his emotions get so out of hand

because you’re offering him a shy smile and asking him a question that he numbly answers, but on the inside he’s a total clueless mess

when did he fall in love with you?

it’s something that will haunt him long after you leave that night, rushing out when you get a call from Hobi

for the second time that night, he’s hit with another realization

he’s still reeling from the fact that he’s pretty sure he’s in love with you, so when you gasp and grin when your phone light up with a call, he falters

it’s like being doused with a bucket of ice water, the way you whisper, “oh, it’s Hobi!” and politely ask if you can take the call before rushing out into the hallway

“oh,” he mumbles to himself as the door closes. “it’s Hobi.”

and he laughs. 

quietly, darkly. he laughs to himself, at himself, whatever. 

because of course it’s Hobi. his best friend, his vitamin. you two deserve each other. of that much he’s certain. 

he doesn’t waste too much time feeling sorry for himself; he’s logical enough to see that you two are probably a better match. it’s nothing personal.

so why does he stay in his studio all night, ignoring any calls or messages sent his way?

he’s not sure when he fell asleep, but next thing he knows he’s sprawled out on his little couch and you’re gently shaking him awake

“Yoongo? Did you stay here last night?”

his eyes crack open at the sound of your voice, just enough to be met with your sweet smile

and he, in his half-asleep state, smiles back. he reaches one hand up to gently brush back a strand of your hair, and he swears you lean into his touch

and when you mumble something about Hobi bringing breakfast up, Yoongi is hit with the third realization in less that twenty-four hours.

it’s startlingly simple: 

he wants to cry. 

so he excuses himself to the bathroom, and cries. sets a five minute timer so nobody gets worried and comes looking for him, and allows himself that time to cry. 

then, with machine-like precision, he washes his face and puts some eyedrops in, and goes back out to pretend like everything is fine.

and whenever Jin or Taehyung bring up acting, Yoongi knows. He knows, deep down, that he’s the best actor of all. 

because he still loves you

and you will never know.

Jung Hoseok

hobi has never been the most forthcoming with his emotions

he keeps them on lockdown

monitors them with military-like focus

so he knows the exact moment he begins developing feelings for you

(it’s when you brought Bang PD a bouquet for valentine’s day, just to make him blush)

and he knows the exact second when he fell in love

(it was when, after a grueling day at work, you silently walked through his door with his favorite goodies and left without a single word)

(you were wearing a yellow cardigan that day)

(he’s never looked at the color yellow the same way)

if he’s completely honest, he’s sometimes trying so hard to stay on top of his own feelings that he forgets to watch out for where your attention may be drifting

to be fair, you kept your own little crush on Jimin a secret

so when Hobi decides to get over himself and just shoot his shot, he decides he’s all in

and when you arrive at his apartment that night for a movie, you’re shocked to see a bouquet of yellow flowers in Hobi’s shaking hands

“hey” he breathes

you stare at the flowers, then at him

“hello...?” then, with a sinking felling, you point at the flowers. “are those for me?”

hobi smiles broadly. “yeah, they are.” and he hands them to you, allowing his fingers to brush up against yours 

it’s electrifying, that small touch

and again, he’s so focused on how electrifying it is that he misses the way you look like you might be sick

pale face, concerned expression

he misses it all, because he’s so nervous but so stupidly in love that he’s just barreling ahead.

gotta get this out of the way

ugh, feelings

and so when he leads you to sit with him out on the balcony, he takes a deep breath and looks at you with wonder in his eyes

and that’s when he notices the way you’re fiddling with your bracelet

not a problem, except for the fact that it’s the one he saw Jimin carefully choosing from an online collection

so when you keep fiddling with the bracelet and avoiding Hobi’s eye contact, he gets it

he takes a long look at all those emotions he keeps in check, and allows himself a moment of self-pity before reaching out and laying a hand atop your own

you immediately stop fidgeting and look at him with wide eyes. he can see with a pang how you’re trying to come up with the best way to let him down easy

so he does the job for you

“I just wanted to say thank you for the other day,” he says, forcing a light tone. “when you brought me those goodies after work. It really meant a lot.”

you blink, confused. “Oh. uh, you’re welcome.”

“and,” he drawls, a well-rehearsed smile clawing its way onto his face, “I wanted to snoop and get the inside scoop about Jiminie. I know he got you that bracelet. did he finally cave and confess to you?”

you look shocked, but you burst out into relieved laughter. “how did you know?”

he didn’t. “how could I not? he’s absolutely whipped.”

and you blush under the stars and begin to ramble, lost in your excitement and joy. 

and Hobi watches. smiling. supportive. laughing at the right spots and asking all the right questions. 

later, when you give him a tight hug and thank him for the fun night, he lets the words sting as you call him “such a great friend.” he lets them sting, relishing in the pain. 

he reminds you to take your flowers home, and you begrudgingly admit that they’re your favorite type of flower. 

he didn’t know. but that hurts, too. the fact that he got it right. 

Hobi never looks at the color yellow the same way again.

Kim Namjoon

he’s told you he loves you a million times now

every night, in every dream, he tells you how much he loves you

adores you with everything he is

you manage to find your way into his music, his musings, every piece of artwork he comes across

he's never been like this before

never, he’s sure of it

and everyone knows, except for you.

it becomes a strange game for the boys to play, dropping hints at every opportunity, laughing at your confused expression

Jungkook and Taehyung especially enjoy the chaos that they create, making Namjoon groan and grow embarrassed

but you have no idea

or are you just willfully ignorant?

all Namjoon knows is that he’s swimming in his feelings for you, completely lost and on the verge of drowning

but, oh, what a way to die

he’s never been able to stop himself when it comes to you

and he considers himself rather disciplined, but the way you make him feel he could throw caution to the wind and give it all up

so when you end up staying late one night at the apartment, the boys manage to convince you to stay

“there’s plenty of room” Jungkook muses, feigning deep thought. “besides, it’s too late for you to drive back tonight. just stay.”

and while Namjoon wants to kill them all for the way they offer up his bed to you, he thinks he might actually die when you reluctantly agree with a yawn

he knows he should offer to take the couch, but something stops him

it’s like he physically can’t

“I don’t mind sharing the bed” you state, squinting at him while wearing his basketball shorts and oversized t-shirt. 

you look adorable. he’s unsure of how he’s even functioning right now, to be honest. he’s melting.

“just keep your snoring in check, loser”

and he’s back to laughing, turning off the light and hopping into bed

you’re so far away

why are you so far away?

“hey” he whispers, the sound so loud in the quiet. the only other sound is the muffled voices of the other members, no doubt down in the kitchen gossiping about the events of the night

“hey yourself” you whisper back, turning to face him

he can see you in the moonlight, his eyes having adjusted just enough.

and he wants to kiss you so badly

so he smiles, heart leaping when you smile back

and he reaches out, gently tracing your jawline. 

you say nothing, heart thundering in your chest

because to be honest, you’re confused 

why is he looking at you like that?

but you don’t ask as Namjoon takes a deep breath, steadying himself before propping himself up on one elbow and looking down at you with an adoring expression

your eyes flutter closed as he brushes his thumb against your cheek, and he can feel your heartbeat racing

your reaction gives him all the courage he needs as he leans down, lips capturing your own in a long, sweet kiss

and he’s going out of his mind because he finally kissed you, didn’t he?! finally!! 

but those are your hands on his chest, and instead of pulling him in closer you’re gently pushing him away

“namjoon.”

he’s never hated his name so much.

“I’m so sorry- I- I thought that maybe-” he stutters, pulling himself upright as you do the same, and he launches out of bed, hands in his hair “I’m so sorry, I swear I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable-”

“Namjoon.” you repeat, and he notices now how utterly distraught you look. 

because you’re still confused, but there’s one name rolling around in your head even as you can still taste namjoon on your lips. 

“I...” you shake your head, unsure of what to say. “It’s just...”

and he’s looking at you with big eyes, taking in every single word you say. and you want to take it all back, want to let him kiss you until you’re breathless, but your heart won’t let you. 

“Just what?” he asks quietly, afraid of the answer. so afraid

“...Jungkook.”

two syllables, and his world comes crashing down around him. 

namjoon is silent, avoiding your gaze as he grabs one of the pillows off of the bed and a spare blanket, heading toward the door. 

“I’ll sleep on the couch. I’m sorry.”

and he’s gone before you can utter another word. 

sure enough, the boys are still downstairs, and they all fall silent as Namjoon appears, throwing the pillow down on the couch. 

“Hyung!” Jungkook asks, scrambling over. “Hyung, what happened? What are you doing down here?”

Namjoon can’t bring himself to look at the maknae, not when he can still picture how it felt to kiss you. not when those few seconds of paradise are still on his lips. 

“Didn’t wanna wake her up with my snoring.”

because how could he ever be angry at the boy that looks at him like he’s his savior?

--

m.list || buy me an orange juice?

thanks for reading! if you enjoyed, please consider reblogging so other people can read it! 💖

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all rights reserved © alpacaparkaseok

[maria-akira]

how you meet the ahs boys + their reaction while you're having a class - PART 1

—♡—

hey yall im back again 🧍🏻‍♀️ is this what you call a headcanon?? idk BAHAHSHHA. anyways i've had this idea in my mind for a while and i wanted to share it to yall, so i hope you guys like it 😌

these also have a little back story on how you guys meet !!

also, special mention to @tatestripedsweater for helping me give ideas with jimmy's part !! thank you so much mwah 🥺❤

warnings: none! just pure fluff <3

please excuse any errors !

—♡—

~♡ TATE LANGDON:

before the pandemic, you and your family have moved into the murder house.

the house gave your family a very odd vibe, but nonetheless all of you had to bear with it because it was sold for a cheap price.

but when the pandemic arrived the country, you were stuck at home 24/7. thus, classes were online.

you met tate because of your father. tate was one of his patients and the both of you grew close.

"Y/N, what are you doing?"

tate would randomly barge in your room while having a class and you would jump out of shock.

"Jesus, Tate. Stop scaring me like that!"

tate would giggle and lay on your bed, observing the lesson that the teacher rambled about.

while you're writing notes, he would stand up and take a chair from some part of your room and sit beside you.

knowing that tate is clingy, you would warn him not to bug you and behave while you listened in class.

of course, he doesn't listen and he would place his head on your shoulder and eventually would cuddle you.

"Taaate, please let me focus."

luckily, you always keep your camera off.

"Mmm, no. I enjoy bugging you."

~♡ KIT WALKER:

one time, you were driving to school on your own and you were almost running out of gas.

luckily, you saw a gas station nearby and decided to get a fill before heading to school. and there, you met kit.

when you first laid your eyes on kit, you thought that he was the prettiest man ever. you couldn't let this chance slip, thus, you exchanged numbers with him.

you talked all day and night, the both of you were so inlove with each other and you finally decided to introduce him to your parents.

your parents loved him and you were so, so happy.

but when the pandemic came, it affected your relationship with kit.

since all schools and unis were closed down, everything went online.

when kit stayed over, he couldn't spend a lot of time with you because you had to attend classes early in the morning, till afternoon.

"Can you stay in bed with me for a little bit, darling?"

unfortunately, you woke up late that day and you missed 10 minutes of your first class. and just like that, you were stuck to your desk until afternoon.

"Kit baby, I'm sorry. I'm late for my first class. Maybe later, okay?"

as much as kit hated this whole online class thing, he would always find a way to cheer you up.

thus, he would cook you breakfast and bring it over to your room.

"C'mere, I'll feed you while you listen and write down notes."

~♡ KYLE SPENCER (PRE DEATH AND POST DEATH) :

PRE DEATH:

madison, your friend, had bugged you all week to go with her to this college frat party near your house.

you weren't the party type. you loved staying at home, watching netflix or reading some sort of fan fiction on wattpad.

but you hated being single. so, this was your chance to actually get a boyfriend.

when you arrived at the party, you immediately hated it. everything was so loud and everyone was drinking, it was definitely a new sight for you.

you were sitting on a couch that was in the balcony, with a red cup that was filled with punch. you loved being away from the commotion.

this is where you met kyle, it was love at first sight. the both of you had so much in common and you thought that he was the man of your dreams.

you exchanged snapchats and from there, you were partners-in-crime.

you and kyle had stopped going to parties ever since the pandemic arrived, which means you got to see each other less.

since the both of you were students, both of your classes went online.

one time, kyle had no classes for a day and he decided to surprise you.

that day, you were having an online presentation. both your camera and microphone were on.

"Rene Descartes was the Father of Modern Philosophy—"

as you were presenting the slide show, you were cut off by kyle's presence infront of your desk.

"I brought you food, baby!"

you would shush him and suddenly turn off your mic.

"I'm so sorry, Miss. My boyfriend arrived and I—"

kyle would go beside you and kiss you on your cheek, your classmates and teacher cooing over it.

"Miss, you better give my girlfriend a good grade."

POST DEATH:

*pretend that he survived the bus accident and had a coma, because we arent involving witchcraft here*

kyle and his fraternity were on a bus that was going to some college event at school.

on the way there, you guys snapped each other and his friends would talk to you as well.

unfortunately, they got in an accident and the bus was flipped over.

a few students, including kyle, survived the accident.

when you heard this news, you cried your heart out and you didnt talk to anyone in your family.

you and your family visited the hospital and you rushed to kyle's room, it broke your heart to see tubes in him, with machines that beeped like there was no tomorrow.

when the doctor said that kyle was in a coma, your heart sank in the deepest part of your body.

this made you stay 24/7 with him until he was discharged.

when he was discharged from the hospital, he was not his usual self. the bubbly, energetic kyle was gone. instead, he was so confused with everything.

kyle's mom made him stay with you until he got his memory back, and you were more than glad to help.

but this took a toll on your studies because your classes were online due to a pandemic.

everyday in class, you would let kyle sit beside you and let him observe what you were doing.

"We're in Science class, Kyle. You were really good in Science, you helped me alot with my homeworks."

most of the time, you would help kyle develop his speech and his writing. but it was difficult for you.

"S-Sci... S-Sci-en.. ce?"

"Yes, Kyle! Good job, now one more time."

~♡ JIMMY DARLING:

ever since you were a kid, you loved going to carnivals, your parents would always bring you there every weekend.

there were carnivals almost everywhere, and your family brought you to all of them.

to you, each carnival was unique. the clowns and magicians in each carnival had different tricks up their sleeve.

but as you grew up, these carnivals slowly went out of business. except for one, which was elsa's cabinet of curiosities.

you decided to visit it one day just for a trip down memory lane, you never really had expectations for this place.

when you arrived there, there were a few people that were seated.

the show started and it instantly made you smile, they reminded you of your younger days. oh how you wished to be a child again.

you watched through a few acts, and the last act was a man named jimmy darling

when he came on stage, you locked eyes with him. there was something about him that really struck you.

after the performance ended, jimmy ran over to you and got your number. from there, you always talked and you would visit him regularly.

the regular visits stopped when the pandemic struck the country, forcing entertainment establishments, schools and unis to close down.

for the mean time, all your classes went online. you told jimmy that he could stay with you until things went back to normal.

on an early tuesday morning, you were in english class. jimmy was with your parents preparing breakfast, and you were falling asleep while your teacher discussed about the odyssey.

unlike tate, jimmy would always knock on your door. as his mom always taught, never enter anyone's room without knocking.

jimmy would giggle at your sleeping sight, your head lowered and your hair messed up.

"Hey, sweetheart, wake up! You're in class."

jimmy's timing was perfect. as he woke you up, you were called by the teacher.

"Miss Y/N, Do you think Odysseus was loyal to his wife?"

obviously, you panicked. but jimmy was there to save you. since jimmy was fond of reading, he finished the book and he whispered the answer to you before you could turn on your mic.

"No, Ma'am. Odysseus had an affair with Calypso and Circe."

once you got your teacher's approval, you turned off your microphone and let out a sigh of relief.

"You're lucky that I'm here to help you."

jimmy would joke and you would jump up to him, tackling him into a hug.

"I'm always lucky to have you, baby."

~♡ DANDY MOTT

at a young age, you were exposed to different types of fabrics. denim, silk, corduroy, neoprene. they name it, you've probably seen it.

your mother worked as a fashion designer. she managed to open a shop in the city and it was a great success for you and your family.

your mother has styled famous models. because of this, the shop was promoted and broadcasted all over the country. one day when you came from school, you saw a long line outside the shop.

that day, the staff count was low. there were only 5 employees instead of 10. you didn't exactly know why, so you decided to help.

after what felt like several hours, the long line finally dissolved into 2 customers, which was a mother and her son. they looked through the shop and the mother instantly loved everything.

her son, on the other hand, was trying on this lilac tux that your mother made.

you assisted her son and when you locked eyes, the both of you smiled. you entertained him throughout his shopping spree and the both of you never broke eye contact.

this was how you met dandy. he made the first move by getting your number, and of course you gave it back.

from there, the both of you talked day and night, even when you were in school.

since dandy's mother, gloria, loved your mother's shop so much, she would invite you and your mother regularly to her mansion.

gloria and your mother got along very well, and it was like gloria was your second mother.

so when your mother went to paris for a fashion show, she let you stay in gloria's mansion until she came back.

but to your dismay, your mother was not able to come back due to a pandemic that was all over the world. flights, establishments, and schools closed down.

of course you were sad, but you didn't worry so much because gloria treated you like her real daughter.

classes were online and you were forced to attend them everyday in the shared room you had with dandy.

since you had to get ready for class early in the morning, you would quietly get out of bed because dandy was sometimes a light sleeper.

it was around 8am and you were in math class. in your school, cameras were required to be turned on at all times. you thought this was a shit rule, but you had no choice to comply.

you were drawing some circles with a compass for an example that was being discussed by your teacher, when all of a sudden dandy was beside you.

"Dandy, sweetie, what are you doing up so early? Go back to sleep.."

dandy would pout at the lack of attention that you were giving him. since he loved holding your hand, you let him hold your other hand that you didn't use for writing.

"You're doing Math instead of cuddling with me!"

—♡—

i'm actually super proud of this omg !! i hope yall enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it 🥺❤

—♡—

[ticklystuff]

Umm Hi!! Can you do alphabet I, P, X, Y with Childe and Itto XD (sorry they're tall male huhuhu but this is my first request I hope you accept)

tickly alphabet!

hewwo anon and no worries! most of my faves are the tall bois and i'm happy to talk about them. this one was fun bc you chose letters most people haven't (except I lol) thx for the ask!

I going under cut as usual

P: Partner In Crime | If they were to go after a lee and accept the aid of a tickle partner, who do they prefer to join hands with and why?

I feel like the two of them would be perfect tickle partners LOL they both radiate the same fun big brother energy that would tickle other characters silly

If they can't choose each other, then I think Childe would pair well with Kaeya. I feel like they would both be so good at teasing so their lee would just perish on the spot the minute both of them open their mouths

I think Childe would also pair well with Hu Tao, mainly just for wrecking Zhongli together lol but I genuinely think they'd make really good friends and they'd both be really playful ticklers

For Itto, I think he'd pair up well with Ayato! Itto isn't good with words and I think Ayato would be king of teasing whereas Itto trips over his own words quite often. I think they'd have different styles of tickling with Ayato being more gentle and Itto having rougher tickle, so it creates this mixture of different sensations. Also, Itto can just hold someone down while Ayato tickles them lol

X: X-Over | In a crossover AU, which other fandom character would be a fitting tickle fight opponent for them and why?

Definitely Ryuji from P5 and Itto lmao maybe it's because I play in English and they both share the same English VA and both sound like each other and have similar personalities and are misjudged by society so they're practically the same! I think Ryuji would lose this mainly because Itto big

For Childe, Raihan from Pokemon! They're both confident borderline cocky characters that wouldn't back down from a fight and are very headstrong. I think Raihan would win and he'd definitely pose in front of his Rotom phone with Childe like passed out in the background lol

Y: YOU | Any personal self- or reader-insert tickle fantasy / headcanon to share with this character?

Not to be a Childe kinny or anything but one time I was planning a tickle session with a guy that I've had sessions with before and I remember him telling me "happy to have you back. you're very impish which makes things fun" and this stuck with me because I remember being like "wtf does impish mean" LOL but yeah I might project specific spots onto Childe because I think Childe would be playful too when being tickled idk alskdjfkl

Oh god idek about Itto I feel like he's someone that would annoy me irl so I don't have anything to project lmao if anything I would like abs like him and for someone to gently trace the lining of them alksdjfk

I: Interrogation | How well would they handle a tickle interrogation?

Neither of them would handle this very well LOL

At first Itto would be like "lol tickling gl fools" but then after like two minutes he'd just give them whatever they wanted yeah idk I feel like Itto would be super weak to this and they'd definitely keep tickling him afterwards because it's fun messing with him lol

I don't think Childe would cave, but he doesn't do a good job at hiding the fact that he's ticklish and I think he would begin to beg for mercy at some point without actually giving up and he'd definitely yell profanities throughout his laughter. His ticklers will probably see how much it's affecting him and continue tickling him and he doesn't hate tickling, but moreso hates that he's not in control of the situation.

Also neither of them can handle teasing. Itto would be affected more by his ticklers wiggling their fingers at him and I think Childe wouldn't be able to handle verbal teasing because he has a lot of pride and his ticklers would definitely tease him about the fact that a Fatui Harbinger is actually weak to something like tickling

[totiredtowrite]

Hi it's me again 😀

Idk, can I request a soulmate au- the ✨red string of fate✨ connects us to ✨Shirabu✨. The reader kinda likes to mess with him- (to make him blush y'know), and Tendou might join in too just because– 🤷‍♂️ we like seeing a flustered Shirabu

Pls Shirabu doesn't get enough attention. I love him sm 🥺😔 Also, I noticed you had a lot of Ushijima reqs- holy frickin Asahi-

Have a good day/night 💚

– 🥑

Red Strings

Warnings - Cursing, a lil angst, I hardly ever proofread

Note: Yes avocado anon 😩😩. Wanna know something fun? Most of those Ushijima fics weren't requested, I'm just a filthy simp ✋😗. Also idfk how to write the red string soulmate au so here's some improvising on my part :)

Male Reader

"Kenjirou baby!"

Shirabu froze up, the volleyball he was getting ready to spike landing on his head and bouncing to the ground. He never understood why you pestered him with the pet names, but it's not like he could talk you out of it. He glowers at you, his face slowly turning bright red.

"Oh don't look so angry," You laughed and slung an arm around his shoulder.

"Why do you insist on being so annoying," Shirabu mutters and pulls away from your arm to pick up the volleyball he dropped.

"What can I say doll, the red strings got me all mixed up!" You winked at him.

"Don't be stupid," Shirabu rolls his eyes.

You laugh, though as soon as his back was turned you frowned. Maybe he couldn't see them, but you sure could. Naturally you joked about it all the time, but sometimes it got distracting how taunt the line was pulled when you were near him.

Tendou knew, Tendou knew everything. Naturally he was the one who suggested you brought up light hearted banter, because after all the more you joke about something the more likely it is to come true. Really though, you just think it makes him annoyed.

Of course you've had the thought that maybe you should just have a serious talk about how seriously you feel for him, but that would be stupid. Not using some convoluted flirting to express your emotion? What a laugh.

You huffed and made your way over to Tendou, who was messily taping his fingers. "`Sato! We have a problem," you declared, falling into place next to him on the bench. He looked up from where he was struggling to rip a piece of tape off.

"Shoot," he smiles.

"I don't think this is working," you sighed.

"Don't be silly!" Tendou pointed his index fingers at you, the tape roll still hanging off of his fingers.

You rolled your eyes with a little smile. True, you could see the string, but that doesn't mean Shirabu won't be able to. Once the feelings are mutual, (or he comes to terms with his), he'll be able to see it. Really only a small percentage of people even have one, only a small percentage are bound by fate.

"Just keep at it, I'm sure he'll realize it eventually," Tendou finally rips the tape with a triumphant grin.

As much of a matchmaker that Tendou is, his advice isn't very helpful for Shirabu.

In fact, Kenjirou thought that you were just taunting him.

He thinks that you aren't serious at all, which of course causes him to doubt his own feelings and try to push you away.

He hates how carefree you are with it all. Just casually calling him 'babe' or tossing in a random 'good boy!' when he sets well. It's infuriating to him.

Eventually though, he's going to have to see that string.

🂠🃑🃁🂱🂡

"Hey Ken," You dragged out both words.

"What do you want now," Shirabu sighs, buttoning the last few buttons on his shirt and hastily pulled on his blazer. The last of the team had left the locker rooms.

"Woah there buddy, calm down yeah?" You laughed, picking up his tie and looping it around his neck. "I just wanted to talk," You continued to do up his tie, accidentally tugging him a bit closer.

"Ab..about what," he manages a snarl.

You shrug. "I dunno Doll, got anything on your mind?"

He pulled your hand off of his tie and stumbled back. "Yeah, actually!"

You tilted your head when he spoke again. "What is wrong with you? Why do you keep doing this?"

Confusion started to set into your face. "Sorry?"

"You know! Always with the pet names and the affection, why do you keep teasing?" He had his eyes closed, fury making his face red.

"T-teasing?" You step back.

"You don't mean any of that shit! Would you just cut it out?" Shirabu opened his eyes to direct a venomous glare your way.

"But I do-," you hesitate. "How else am I supposed to-I do like you!"

He looks taken aback for a moment. "What?"

"I like so so much! I might even love you but I'm not exactly sure of that!" You moved a little closer to him.

He stood in shocked silence for a few moments.

"What's- that," He looked down at the sudden tug he felt on his finger.

A red twine was looped around his finger. "Wow," he says softly.

"See what I mean!" You turned your eyes to his shocked face. "I wasn't bullshitting you!"

Kenjirou turned to look at you. The red string was progressively fading. Your expression was equivalent to that of a kicked animal.

"So," he awkwardly starts, "Does this mean we're, you know...together?"

You shrug. "Maybe."

Only time will tell, after all.

[elena-reina]

You’re Done - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Request: Can I get a bucky imagine where the reader messes up really badly on a mission, can she have fire powers, and bucky is there for her in the end. Maybe like a friends to lovers kind of vibe? Thank you! Love you!- Anon

Warnings: none

a/n: [For the sake of this imagine my bby Pietro is alive for his two seconds of fame ;)]         There will be a pt 2. Idk when, but eventually.

“I need you all to lay low,” Steve’s voice spoke through the earpiece.

“Copy,” you along with the other Avengers said into the intercom in unison.

You have gone on many missions with the Avengers, however, this one was different. Most of the ones you’ve experienced were small track and point ones. Nothing like this where it was a life or death situation.

You had to capture one of the men named Azazel. He had vital information that was going to help the team out on a lead for the rest of the mission. You were a powerful asset to the team. The only issue was how much you underestimate yourself.

For weeks you had been training your powers and learning to keep them under control. There had been many incidents where you accidentally caused the sprinklers to go off at the tower for reasons we shall not speak of. But let’s just say they were all minor setbacks in your progress.

The team loved having you go on missions with them, but most of the time Steve wanted you to stay back at the tower and continue to train. You underestimate your powers and It took you many days to convince him to bring you on this specific mission. It wasn’t until you had a one on one with him that he finally gave in.

You had all the weight of the world on your shoulders. However, the adrenaline masked all the doubts running laps throughout your mind.

“I can see four of the guards standing by the door.. and I think a couple more on the other side of the building,” Wanda said slyly moving around the compound unseen.

“Could you at least try to make an effort to stay hidden,” Tony groaned, maneuvering around in the sky. “I can literally see your red head from here.”

“Listen Stark, you’d be caught long before I am,” Wanda smirked, sassily.

You softly chuckled to yourself.

“No, you listen Maximoff-” Tony began before Pietro cut him off.

“In all honesty, you’re not that witty Tony. Sorry, not sorry.”

“You know I don’t appreciate this slander on my title,” Tony mumbled.

While they bickered back and forth, you noticed one of the guards waving at the men to go inside the building. You ducked down when one of the men gave one last look around the area and went inside.

“They’re going inside,” you announced.

“Alright, here’s what we’re going to do,” Steve commenced going over the mission.

After listening to the entirety of Steve’s plan, you felt like there were some flaws in it. Naturally, you had your own plan in your head. Steve wanted everyone to go inside unnoticed and basically move around incognito. You, on the other hand, wanted to do it the old-fashioned way and all gang up together because there were more of you guys than there were of them. Or so you thought.

Sneaking inside the facility, you hid behind boxes and waited as Wanda and Pietro were the first ones to begin. Wanda would use her powers to mess with the men’s minds and make them fall asleep while Pietro would move their bodies to somewhere outside away from the rest of the Avengers. The building was old and looked like it could fall apart at any given moment.

Everything was going smoothly until one of the men, who had gone unnoticed by the rest of you, punched you harshly having you slam into the wall, sending an immediate alert to the people inside.

Clint and Natasha took awareness of this immediately and rushed by your side, but it was like the man had a vendetta on your head. He was overpowering all three of you and none of you understood how. Everyone was in full combat mode, and soon enough, almost a full army of them was coming out in groups. There was more of them than you thought there were.

Your fire powers were flowing out of your hand as you disintegrated any daggers or weapons they would try and throw your way. By this point, you were growing irritated and were having enough of this nonsense.

“Tell us where Azazel is!” you shouted holding one of the men up by the collar of his shirt. He smirked and pulled out a machine from the back of his pocket. You looked at it confused until you noticed a timer on it fastly counting down.

Your eyes widened.

“There’s a bomb in here!” you shouted into your earpiece.

“We’ll get this under control. Y/N, Bucky, and Clint get everyone out now!” Tony responded, already using his suit to find and defuse the bomb.

You were about to respond when you caught something out of the peripheral vision of your eye. You saw a door that was left cracked opened and decided to do a little digging for yourself. Looking around at the Avengers busy, you slipped away and entered the room. Silently closing the door, you moved behind a big crate to remain hidden.

Inside, you noticed a man dressed in all black with his back to you. You bet this was Azazel.

“Y/N, where are you!” Steve yelled into the earpiece.

You knew that you had to respond to Steve, but doing that would compromise your position. Without saying anything, you made a B-line towards the man.

“HEY!” you shouted, as who you assumed was Azazel, frighteningly looked up. He pushed boxes of glass out of his way and started to run. You weren’t going to leave him that easily and every place he tried to dodge into, you would blast up with your powers.

Picking up speed, you threw a firebolt at him hitting him in the back causing him to fall to the ground. You slowly sauntered over to him, a small triumphant grin on your face.

“Tell me what you know!” you fiercely shouted. Feeling bold, you had him exactly where you wanted. However, that confidence you once had faltered as his face then fell into a smirk. He pulled out a cylindrical device with a red button on top of it.

“Y/N! Do you copy!” Steve yelled again.

Ignoring Steve, you quickly extending your hand out to grab the device out of his hands but instead, you accidentally triggered your powers and blasted out an uncontrollable flame you’ve never seen or done before.

Azazel let out an excruciating scream of agony and the device slipped out of his hand. He was being burned alive.

“Oh no no no! What’s happening?!” you freaked, trying to get your powers under control. The flames emerged from your hands and began to consume everything within its path. It had a mind of its own and it was determined to burn everything to ashes.

Your screams rang throughout the room and Tony busted through the wall, frantically looking around. His eyes landed on you and the fire coming out of your palms.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Y/N STOP!” Tony yelled, wanting to get close enough to grab you, but the heat coming from the flames was too much, even for his suit. If anyone came close, they would have gotten burned as well. Pietro followed suit next to him.

You tried to stop them and bent down trying to grab onto Azazel, but this only made matter worse. It wasn’t until you felt a knife slice through the side of your arm, distracting you, that the fires coming from your hand died down.

You brought your hands up to your face horrified. His face and body were burned beyond recognition. You slumped to your knees and grabbed his lifeless corpse with one of your hands. His blood pooled out of his burnt clothes, coating your hands in warm crimson.

Looking further down his arm, you grabbed the device that was now barely holding together and looked at the odd wiring.

He was bluffing. It was a fake only to intimidate you.

“The bomb is going to go off! Everyone out-”

An ear-shattering explosion began to erupt throughout the facility before he could finish. For the most part, everyone was already on their way to the outside.

Pietro took awareness of you being out of it and quickly scooped you up into his arms and sped out of the exploding building. All of you had made it just in time before the entire building was already engulfed in flames. Pietro safely placed you down and grabbed onto your shoulders.

“Hey, are you alright?”

You nodded still shaken up.

“We almost fucking had him!” Tony exclaimed frustrated. “Let’s go.”

The ride back was silent. You had ruined the whole mission. You were mentally beating yourself up with a war inside your brain.

Why couldn’t you have just listened?

Back at the Avenger’s Tower, Steve ordered you to meet him at the office. You knew that whatever was coming wasn’t going to be good.

“Y/N, do you realize what you’ve just done?” Steve groaned, angrily placing his hands on the table in front of him. You looked around the room and at your hands that were covered in Azazel’s dried blood. You didn’t know that you were being set up. As a matter of fact, you didn’t even know that your powers had that much potential.

“I.. I didn’t mean to I was just-” you whispered, backing up to create some distance between you and Steve.

“You ruined the whole mission, Y/N! I told you that you were not ready!” he snapped, making your head jerk towards his direction. You opened your mouth to form words, but nothing came out. If you would have just had a moment to collect your thoughts, you would be better at articulating yourself.

“If you would just let me explain myself!” you shouted growing frustrated with overwhelming emotion, you felt your body getting hot. Taking a deep breath, you tried your best to calm the fire inside of you, quite literally.

Steve placed his hands on his hips and disapprovingly shook his head.

“You’re done.”

Your chest felt like it plummetted twenty feet underground. Despite the fire running through you, you felt your body grow cold. You had been training countless nights just to get where you are. There were so many things you wanted to say, while at the same time, you had nothing to say.

What was there to say anyway?

“What?” you managed to breathe out.

“Just go, Y/N.”

Steve then walked past you, leaving you standing in the middle of the complex. You clenched your fists and turned on your heel. You needed to get out. To blow off some steam before you burned the whole building down.

You rushed down the stairs, down every elevator, and all the way down to the empty field in front of the Avenger’s Tower near the aircraft. You felt the flames wanting to come out of your hands, but you tried your best to suppress them. Frantically looking around, you finally spotted a metal storage container.

Running inside, you shut the door and dropped to your knees finally letting the flames ignite. You cried your feelings out, this time not holding back. The flames engulfed the entire space.

A small part of you was fearful about not being able to contain it, but you knew you had to let it go. No one in this compound listens to you. It’s like they just want to keep you here to stay out of the way.

Was it for your benefit or theirs?

A knock on your door interrupted your thoughts, but you didn’t bother to turn around. Not that it would have mattered at this point. After releasing your emotions, you took a cold shower to cool off before coming back to your room at the Tower. The tower seemed empty. There was a stale stillness in the air that could be cut with a knife.

You couldn’t help but feel that everything was your fault. If you had just been able to stop underestimating yourself, maybe things would have happened differently. Or if you would have maybe just trained a bit more.

The door clicked signifying that someone was entering your room.

“Hey, mind if I come in?”

You turned around, lifting your gaze as your eyes fell on the handsome soldier before turning back around to face the window. There was nothing to be said. You and Bucky had always had this unspoken bond since the day you joined the Avengers. Whenever you were having a bad day, he was always there to talk about it and vice versa. Was there more underneath the surface than the two of you would like to acknowledge? Yes.

You watched as the trees flowed in the wind looking as peaceful as it could be, the opposite of how you were feeling.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

He closed the door behind him and trudged next to you. He pulled up a chair and sat down, mirroring your actions by gazing outside the window.

“What’s there to talk about?” you dismissed.

“No one is blaming you,” he said, leaning back in the seat and crossing his arms over his chest.

You scoffed, shaking your head. “Oh really,” you mumbled, “I’m sure Steve would beg to differ.”

Gossip spreads like wildfire throughout the Tower and there was no way that anyone was going to be oblivious to what was going on. There was no easy way to sugar coat it. You fucked up and Steve knew this would happen. It’s plain and simple.

“Steve is just upset right now and will get over it. The mission was already a work in progress, to begin with. I don’t know exactly what went down, but your powers are stronger than you realize and with just a little bit more training-”

“Stop!” you shouted, standing up. Your chair fell behind you with a loud thud. Bucky jerked his head at your outburst but remained seated. He knew you were overwhelmed and wasn’t going to invalidate how you were feeling.

“No one listens to me! I was doing what I thought was right! I didn’t realize what I was doing until it was too late. It doesn’t matter how much ‘training’ I do, no one is there to help me!”

“And you have every right to feel that way. No one is blaming you, things happen. We live and we learn. It a part of life, Y/N. I recognize that I will never understand the struggles you are going through, but I can try.”

“Don’t patronize me, Buck,” you frowned. Truth be told, you just wanted someone to appreciate you.

This time, he stood up and placed both hands on either side of your shoulders. “I’m not. Look, how about we go out tonight to get your mind off things. Then, when you’re feeling better, we can discuss a plan to talk it out with the rest of the team.”

“They’re not going to listen to me.”

“I’ll make sure they listen, okay? Now, go get dressed before I dress you myself. You’ve got thirty minutes,” he winked pulling you in for a hug, to which you gladly returned.

Maybe you do need a night out.