#sorry if it's not exactly what you wanted
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sunni-stuff · 2 days ago
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P2 P3
Reader who gets pregnant off of a one night stand with some soldier during armed forces day, showing your appreciation for his service a little too well.
You had a support system, friends who joked about you having way too much fun, hence your predicament, others already offering to buy things for the baby and your parents who couldn't be happier to meet their grandchild.
But what about the father?
Well, it's not exactly like you could track him down. Fuck, you didn't even know the man's name, only how he made you feel, his filthy words strumming in your ear, big hands tight around your waist, hips slamming away in a desperate chase.
Let's forget how you leg-locked him.
When your daughter was born, everything changed, and time slowed down. She was a quiet baby, barely crying or having any outbursts like a normal child would but outspoken in her own little way. That chunky thing came out of the womb with a glare. Brown eyes staring down anyone and everyone but you.
That's something she definitely got from her father. You vividly remember how his umber eyes watching you from across the bar. He was like an eagle waiting for the perfect moment to strike his prey. A perfect soldier.
So, you named your daughter Adira in memory of his strength. That's one thing he could have.
Adira loved to be by your side. Her chubby cheeks pressed into the nook of your neck, holding you close with strength of a thousand babies. Your clingy little thing was a koala, always by her mommy's side, never straying far no matter how curious she got. When she learned to walk, her favorite thing became to hug your leg, especially while in stores. She hated people, wearing a tiny scowl whenever customers passed by tucking herself closer to you.
Maybe it was a good thing her father wasn't around. Having to compete for her first words would've been a bloodbath.
You spent two years in bliss. The fact that you were a single mother an afterthought to raising what you considered a blessing.
With Adira's second Christmas coming up, you wanted to do something special. She loved trains and found them absolutely amusing, often mimicking the honk as she ran around your apartment. Thankfully, there was a train ride for kids around the park during this time of year.
Here, you stood in line, bundled up to the nines. Big poofy coat, warm gloves, and fuzzy boots. As the crowd moved, Adira clung close, arms wrapped around your leg, glowering at any passerby with an annoyed look on her rosy cheeks.
That one was new. Maybe something else she got from her father.
The two of you took steps in tow, keeping Adira close and comfortable as the train came into view. Her expression shifted, excitement palpable. "Twain!" She squealed, jumping up and down.
Before you could respond to Adira's childlike joy, a man bumped into you by accident, nearly stumbling over his own feet. He turns to look at you, blue eyes meeting yours, but you were too focused on the weird ass Mohawk on his head.
People wore still those?
"Sorry bout that lass." The man starts to apologize, a Scottish accent lacing his voice.
That breaks your stare, laughing awkwardly to mask your wandering gaze. "Oh no, it's fine. You should be careful. you might slip on ice."
He nods, giving you a kind smile. The Scottish man starts to leave, but the look your kid was giving him sent shivers down his spine.
Little Adira was giving him a fierce stare down from behind your leg before ultimately cutting her eyes at him as if he were merely a nuisance.
"Next in line! Mctavish!"
The man doesn't stay after that. You assume that it was him they were calling with the way he hurried off. Hope he doesn't fall, seemed like a nice guy.
Soap can't help but do a double take when be gets to the front. The little rascal was wearing his Lieutenants face, hawk eyeing anyone who dared got to close. It was like looking in a mirror.
He nudged Gaz, making a gesture to look back without making it obvious. "See the lass and her bairn in line?"
Gaz gives him a raised brow, looking back for a second before turning around. "There's a lot of kids with their mother's, Johnny."
Soap glances back, double checking to make sure you were still in line. “The lass with the wee one—she’s got the same wicked look as Lt. You cannae miss her.”
Gaz rolls his eyes but humors Soap by looking once more, his eyes scanning the crowd until they land on a little girl already mean-mugging him from a distance. He swiftly turns around, blinking in surprise, trying to comprehend what he saw. "Uh..."
Soap only nods in agreement. That was Ghost's face, on a kid no less. He wastes no time, elbowing Roach and getting him to look back as well, leaving the other Sergeant in the same shock as Gaz. "That is not a face a kid should have."
"Agreed." Gaz added, shuddering at the thought.
"Where's the cap?" Soap asks, the train ride no longer feeling like fun now that he’s discovered the jackpot.
"Market place with Lt. for cigs," Gaz knowingly remarked, remembering that Price had run out on their way here.
"Well, let's go show them a Christmas miracle," Soap shot up from his seat all too eagerly.
The sergeants just got their Christmas present.
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rafestify · 1 day ago
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need a rafe fic please where reader is part of the pogues, her and rafe have been on and off for forever obviously due to everything he’s done but deep down he’s so down bad for reader and maybe she’s pregnant instead of sarah and he doesn’t find out until morocco because the pogues are hovering over her idk angst fluff whatever you feel!!!
Two lines — Rafe Cameron
Summary : Fem!Reader is pregnant with Rafe’s baby, but he doesn't know until pope accidentally mentions her baby (season 4 ep 10 spoilers!! ⚠️)
Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader
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Warnings : mentions of vomiting & language (english is not my first language)
A/N : as requested 😉 hope u like it anon!
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Two lines, and the father was long gone, off doing god knows what. Rafe was the last guy I'd hooked up with, and even after we broke up, we somehow kept finding our way back to each other, especially after the Kildare Enduro. He knew no one else could satisfy me the way he did, and so it became this endless cycle, break up, hook up, make up. What Rafe didn’t know was that I was pregnant. I hadn’t planned on telling him, at least not until we made up.
There I was, back on Rafe’s boat with my friends, setting off to Morocco in search of the Blue Crown and Chandler Groff. My friends had locked Rafe up, tying him up in a small room, just in case. We all knew better than to trust Rafe Cameron, not after everything he’d done.
I walked into the dimly lit room, carrying a tray with a glass of water, a plate of food, and a couple of aspirin for his black eye. The sight of him, bruised, tugged at something deep inside me.
“Here,” I murmured, setting the tray down on the table beside him. “I brought some aspirin, just in case you’re feeling dizzy or something…”
He snorted, cutting me off. “What? You’re just gonna throw it in my mouth like I’m a fuckin' seal?” He wasn’t exactly wrong, but his sharp tone made me bristle. “Nobody trusts you, Rafe,” I replied, my voice steady. “Not after what you did.”
His jaw tightened, and a flash of anger sparked in his eyes. “I saved your asses!” he shot back, his face flushing with frustration. “And not even a thank you was said.”
I took a slow breath, steadying myself. “I know, Rafe. I know,” I said softly. “Thank you, really.” I offered him a small, sincere smile.
He looked at me for a moment, his gaze softening just slightly. “You trust me, right?” he asked, his voice quieter, a bit more vulnerable. I bit down on my lip, feeling the pull he always seemed to have on me.
“Yeah,” I admitted, almost reluctantly. God, he knew exactly how to get to me.
He looked at the ropes binding his wrists and nodded toward them. “Then untie me. Get this shit off me.”
I shook my head, feeling a pang of guilt but holding my ground. “I can’t. I’m sorry.” I pressed my lips together, trying to keep my resolve. “Just… eat the food. We wouldn’t want you dying in here.” With that, I turned and walked out, the door closing softly behind me, leaving me with a sigh that I didn’t even realize I’d been holding back.
As I stepped out of the room, I was met by Kiara’s anxious expression, her arms folded tightly as she waited. The moment she saw me, her face softened slightly, though worry still flickered in her eyes.
"How’d it go?" she asked quietly, as if afraid to hear the answer.
I shrugged, trying to mask the mixture of emotions stirring inside me. "Same old Rafe," I replied, keeping my tone light, but my gaze drifted, unable to meet hers directly.
Kiara studied me for a moment before speaking again. "Soo... did you tell him?"
I frowned, genuinely puzzled. "Tell him what?"
She raised an eyebrow, giving me a pointed look. "That you’re pregnant, with his child."
Oh, right. That one.
I swallowed, feeling a sudden knot in my stomach. "Uh—no, not yet," I admitted, my voice barely a whisper. "I just… I don’t know how he’d react." My hands found each other, my fingers nervously fidgeting as I tried to imagine how that conversation would even go. "What if he doesn’t want to keep the baby?"
Kiara sighed softly and reached out, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. Her warmth grounded me, pulling me back from my spiraling thoughts. "Look," she said firmly, her gaze locking onto mine. "You have us. We’ll help you through every single part of this. That’s what friends are for, right?"
I looked at her, the tension in my chest easing slightly. Her words held a strength that I so desperately needed. "Yeah," I whispered, a small smile breaking through my worry. "Thank you, Kie."
She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a hug, and for a moment, the uncertainty and fear faded. In her embrace, I felt a flicker of hope—a reminder that I wouldn’t have to face this alone.
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After battling fierce winds and waves, we finally arrived in Essaouira. The coastal city spread before us, its whitewashed buildings with blue shutters gleaming under softened storm light. Narrow streets twisted through the medina, lined with shops selling handmade crafts and drenched in a timeless, rustic charm.
The Atlantic crashed against the ancient medina walls, sturdy and weathered, while blue fishing boats bobbed in the harbor—just like the skiffs in the Outer Banks. The salty air and easy warmth of the locals, the slow rhythm of the sea, and the hum of daily life brought back memories of home, as if Essaouira was a Moroccan echo of the Outer Banks.
We continued to wander through the narrow streets of Essaouira, the sound of bustling market vendors and the distant call of seagulls filling the air. John B and Sarah led the way, their steps light and carefree, like they had no care in the world. Following behind them was Cleo, Pope, and Kiara, their conversations flowing easily as they walked, with JJ and I bringing up the rear. But it was Rafe who trailed behind, his presence almost ghostlike, like a lost puppy, following silently in our wake.
As we strolled through the maze of alleyways, I felt a sudden, sharp wave of nausea hit me. It was sudden, and intense, as if something in my stomach was threatening to rise up. I let out a soft huff, pressing my hand to my stomach, trying to hold back the overwhelming feeling of sickness.
JJ, who had been walking beside me, must've noticed the change in my posture because he looked at me with concern. "Y/N?" he called, his voice laced with worry.
"Oh god," I muttered under my breath, the nausea worsening, my head spinning.
"What's wrong? You okay?" JJ asked, his voice low, concern evident on his face.
I shook my head, barely able to focus on him. "No... I need to sit," I said, my voice strained. I felt like I was going to collapse if I didn’t stop moving.
JJ quickly guided me to a pile of carpets that were stacked outside a shop. The soft fabric felt like a relief under me as I sat down, trying to steady my breathing. The rest of the group quickly noticed, and soon I was surrounded by their concerned faces. Kiara dropped to her knees in front of me, her eyes searching mine, her hand resting on my knee in a comforting gesture.
"What's up? What are you feeling?" she asked, her voice soft and filled with genuine concern.
"I'm really nauseous," I managed to answer, my hand covering my mouth, just in case. I didn’t trust myself to hold it down any longer.
Cleo, who had been standing off to the side, stepped forward, her arms crossed over her chest. "She probably needs food. It’s been like two days..or what?" she said, her voice tinged with practicality.
"Yeah, the baby’s probably hungry too," Pope added, offering a casual shrug, as if it was just an obvious conclusion.
I froze, my stomach twisting. The mention of "the baby" caught me off guard, and suddenly, all eyes turned to me. Rafe, who had been hanging back, still distant, looked like he was suddenly paying attention. His gaze shifted from me to Pope and then back to me, his brow furrowing.
"What baby?" Rafe asked, his voice sharp, as if something about the situation didn't sit right with him.
Oh god, here we go.
Pope went silent, and I could feel the tension rise in the air, thickening around us. I glanced up at Rafe, who was now standing a few feet away, looking at me with an expression that was hard to read. His eyes narrowed as if trying to make sense of what he had just heard.
"No, seriously, what baby?" he repeated, his voice insistent, even stern now.
I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment settle over me. There was no easy way to say it, but it had to be said. "I’m pregnant, Rafe," I said quietly, locking eyes with him. "With your baby."
The words hung in the air between us, like they were too heavy to carry. For a long moment, Rafe didn’t say anything. He just stood there, silent, his expression unreadable. The others were watching him closely, waiting for a reaction, but he remained eerily still.
I could feel the tension growing, an awkwardness settling in the space around us, as if everything had just shifted. My hands were shaking slightly, not from the nausea anymore, but from the weight of what had just been revealed. And Rafe, he was just staring at me, his mouth slightly parted but no words coming out.
"Go get her something to eat," Rafe suddenly snapped, his voice cutting through the tension that still hung thick in the air.
Without another word, he dug through his small waist bag, the leather creaking under his movements. I wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but then, with a small grunt of satisfaction, he pulled out a wad of cash—several bills, all stacked neatly together. As he unfolded them, I saw that he had about $400 in his hand, a small fortune for street vendors in Essaouira.
"Wait what?" JJ’s voice broke the moment of disbelief. He raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "They don’t take dollars, you idiot—"
"I said go," Rafe interrupted sharply, his tone hardening. There was no room for argument, no sign of hesitation in his voice. It was almost as if he was trying to regain some control over the situation, and in doing so, he completely dismissed JJ’s protests. His words were a command, not a suggestion.
The rest of us exchanged uneasy glances, the shift in Rafe’s demeanor catching everyone off guard. But without further discussion, John B, Sarah, Cleo, Pope, and Kiara reluctantly turned to start walking back toward the market, their steps unsure but obedient. JJ hesitated for a moment, clearly frustrated by Rafe’s abruptness, but eventually followed along as well.
Rafe’s eyes lingered on me for a second, his expression unreadable. He stood still for a moment longer, his gaze momentarily drifting over to the group before returning to me. He didn’t say anything else. His words had been clear, and I could tell that something about the situation had shifted for him.
"I don’t care whether you want the baby or not, but I’m keeping them," I said, the words tumbling out before I could stop them. My heart pounded in my chest, the weight of my decision pressing down on me. The truth was, I had made up my mind. I had to keep the baby, and nothing anyone said or did would change that. Not even Rafe.
Rafe’s eyes widened at my declaration, and for a moment, he just stood there, staring at me, his face unreadable. Then, he kneeled down, and he let out a sharp breath. "Hey, hey, hey—who said I don’t want to keep the baby?" His voice was calm, but there was an underlying tension to it, as if my words had hit a nerve.
I blinked, caught off guard by his response. The words seemed to hang in the air for a moment, and I wasn’t sure what to say next. His eyes were fixed on me now, intense, searching. It felt like something was shifting between us, and I couldn’t quite wrap my head around it.
"We’ll take care of them," Rafe continued, his tone softening just a fraction. "I’ll be with you throughout the whole journey, Y/N. You’re not doing this alone." His voice held a kind of resolve, as if he had already decided, as if he was offering something that felt almost too good to be true.
For a split second, it felt like the world around me had stopped moving. The noise from the market faded into the background, and all I could hear was the steady beat of my own heart. The words he said felt surreal, like they were echoing in my head. "I’ll be with you, 'aight?"
I blinked again, almost feeling like I was in a dream, like I had slipped into some alternate reality where everything suddenly made sense. But when I looked at Rafe, his gaze never wavering from mine, I felt a wave of disbelief wash over me. It felt like a nap dream, a momentary illusion that would disappear when I woke up.
"What?" I said, my voice coming out in a whisper of disbelief. "Sorry—"
Rafe seemed unbothered by my shock. He placed his hands on my knees, his movements deliberate. "You heard me, Y/N." His words were firm, and there was no mistaking the sincerity in them.
For a long moment, neither of us spoke. The air between us was thick with unspoken thoughts, and I could feel the weight of what he had just said settle in my chest. It was almost too much to process. I had always expected Rafe to pull away, to make this harder for me. But here he was, standing before me with something I hadn’t expected, a promise. A promise to be there. A promise to face this together.
My mind spun, trying to make sense of it. I glanced away for a moment, as if hoping the world would shift and reveal the truth. But when I looked back at him, his expression hadn’t changed. He was still looking at me with those steady, unwavering eyes.
"You’re serious," I murmured more to myself than to him.
Rafe didn’t flinch. "Yeah," he said simply, as if there was nothing more to discuss, as if the decision had already been made. "I’ll be there for you. For us."
For the first time, I didn’t know what to say. My heart was still racing, but for a different reason now. There was a part of me that wanted to believe him, to hold on to this moment, to trust that things might actually be okay. But there was also a part of me that was terrified of what this all meant, of how my life was about to change in ways I couldn’t predict.
I stared at him in utter disbelief, barely able to process the reality unfolding before me. It felt like some kind of miracle. My vision began to blur as tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, the emotions welling up and spilling over, probably caused by the pregnancy hormones, but I couldn’t stop them. I tried to blink them away, but they only gathered faster, until a warm tear rolled down my cheek.
Rafe’s expression softened when he noticed, his gaze never leaving mine. He reached out and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close in a way that felt so natural, so steady. He didn’t hesitate for a second, and his embrace was warm, reassuring, holding me together when I felt like I was on the edge of falling apart, and God, it felt good to be back in his arms.
His hand rubbed gentle circles on my back as he murmured, “We’re gonna be parents.” His voice was soft, filled with awe and disbelief, as if he was speaking the words for the first time and couldn’t quite believe them either.
I nodded against his chest, clutching onto him as tightly as I could. The weight of his words settled over us, the reality of what lay ahead, and as much as I wanted to be brave, I couldn’t shake the fear that started to consume my mind. I let out a shaky breath, my voice coming out in a whisper, “I’m scared, Rafe.” The words felt small, vulnerable, but they were the truth.
He pulled back just enough to look at me, his hands gently cupping my face as his thumbs brushed away the stray tears still slipping down my cheeks. “I know,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I am scared too.” There was a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes that mirrored my own, a glimmer of uncertainty about the unknown future that lay ahead.
“But we’re in this together,” he continued, his voice growing stronger, as if he was convincing himself as much as he was reassuring me. “I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t know what’s coming… but I’m not going anywhere.” He leaned down and rested his forehead against mine, closing the space between us. “I’ll be there every step of the way.”
His words washed over me, filling some hollow place I hadn’t realized was empty. In that moment, his presence felt like a lifeline, pulling me out of my fears, giving me a glimpse of something that felt almost like hope. The future was terrifying, yes, but it felt a little less daunting with him by my side.
I looked up at him, my voice steadying as I replied, “I’m glad it’s you.” And as I said the words, I realized just how much I meant them.
He offered me a small, crooked smile, a warmth in his eyes that I hadn’t seen before. “We’re gonna figure this out together,” he promised. “One step at a time.”
I nodded, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. And in that moment, held in his arms, I felt a little less afraid.
Suddenly, as if on cue, the rest of the group appeared, each carrying an assortment of food and drinks. It was almost comical, watching them return all at once, each of them holding something different, John B with a handful of pita bread, Cleo balancing a bowl of yogurt, JJ carrying bottled water, and Sarah clutching a small bag of fruit, including a shiny red apple that she immediately extended toward me.
“Here,” Sarah said softly, her face easing with relief as she offered the apple. I took it gratefully, feeling the cool skin of the fruit in my hand, and took a tentative bite. The crisp, sweet flavor flooded my senses, soothing the nausea that had been twisting in my stomach. They watched with eager anticipation, and as they saw me begin to nibble, their worried expressions started to relax.
“Feeling better now?” Pope asked, his voice gentle but laced with concern as he studied my face.
I swallowed another bite and nodded, a smile creeping onto my face. “Yeah, yeah… thank you,” I replied, glancing at each of them.
They exchanged glances, visibly relieved, and a sense of warmth spread through me as I looked around at their familiar faces, each one showing their own brand of care. I realized then just how much I’d come to rely on them, not just as friends, but as family. I felt a comforting wave of gratitude for each of them, knowing they’d been there for me without question, supporting me in ways I hadn’t even thought possible.
As I took another sip of water, Rafe moved a little closer to me, his hand resting gently on my thigh. His touch was subtle, but the gesture was enough to let me know he was still there, holding his promise to stay by my side. There was something calming in his presence now, something steadying that I hadn’t noticed before.
The others began chatting among themselves, sharing their own stories of haggling with the vendors, laughing about who’d paid the most for what they’d brought. They were giving Rafe and me a moment, I realized, a chance to talk without the pogues’ attention fixed on us.
Rafe leaned down slightly, his face level with mine, his voice low and steady. “You really okay?” he asked, his hand still warm on my thigh.
I took a deep breath, the initial dizziness and nausea fading, leaving behind a feeling of clarity I hadn’t expected. “Yeah, I think so." I paused, looking up into his eyes.
He smiled, a soft, almost vulnerable expression, and for a moment, he seemed like a different Rafe—one who wasn’t weighed down by pride or bravado. “That's good” His voice was filled with a sincerity that softened something inside me. "Don't want our little one and her mommy to starve, do we?" He smiled making me let out a low chuckle.
In this quiet moment, I knew, deep down, that I wouldn’t want anyone else to be the father of my child. Everything just felt right. Despite all the chaos, the ups and downs, there was a steady comfort in knowing me and Rafe would face it together.
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likes and reblogs are appreciated! 🐇
>゜))彡 taglist — @rafecamerons-national-anthem @ts1mp0ne @vheavxly @enjoymyloves @tv-girllover07 @husherstan @smthabsolutelyunhinged @multisection @onlyrealjoy @hoelesslyt @nina357
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itsrlymine · 2 days ago
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a few “crazy” things i've manifested for myself and others
nothing is actually crazy. everything is the same and nothing is impossible. I Am Possible. 
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An all expenses paid trip to Dubai (twice now) with $0 in my bank account by simply deciding that my only option is to go and be sexy in Dubai (respectfully ofc). I left my wallet in the States on purpose bc I am spoiled and everyone pays for me. That’s exactly what happened. 
I revised my best friend’s pregnancy bc we don’t do baby mamaism around here. Commit to a baby when that man commits to you. Sorry not sorry. She literally took three pregnancy tests and they all told her she was pregnant. I said no, not my girl. She was no longer pregnant. No medical procedure or any pain was experienced or necessary on her end.
Accepted in to the university I wanted to go to bc I thought it was pretty. Super low acceptance rate and I definitely didn’t have the criteria. I didn’t even have to do the college essay just bc I didn’t feel like writing (but ofc I would write fan fiction in a heart beat). 
Every single job I’ve ever had bc ofc you’re gonna hire me I’m the best employee you’ve ever come across.
Becoming besties with manifestation YouTubers I used to watch bc why not?? 
My current remote job that pays me $120/hour and I barely have to do actual work. I genuinely just scroll on Pinterest and Tumblr most of the time and when i do work, it's blissful. Love my boss tho
Apartments for my friends, family members and myself that’s everything we wanted in our individual spaces and more.
My Porsche Boxster that has super low milage and given to me for free like girl byeee.
Tons of new friends and opportunities falling into my lap
I ordered new glasses and they came in fast asf. “Usually” takes at least two maybe three weeks but I said nope, I’m wearing them right now. I am wearing them right now. 
My favorite musicians releasing new music every time I decide I want new music from them. Like if you don’t get in that studio!
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littlelamy · 1 day ago
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you were right!
a/n: okay, i know you guys might be tired of me doing these but this is my last one! i hope you all like it 😜 gifs from @rafeyscurtainbangs
The blazing Moroccan sun beats down on Rafe, its intensity mirrored by the firestorm raging in his mind. Dust hangs in the air around him, adding to the harshness of the moment as he stands over the well. Below, Groff coughs and groans, his face contorted in pain, but Rafe barely spares him a second glance. His rage overpowers everything else, even the satisfaction he should feel. He narrows his eyes, voice laced with anger and finality.
“Checkmate, bitch!” he yells down, his words slicing through the hot, tense air. The motorcycle engine he’d used to get out here sits idle a few feet away, rumbling like his frustration.
He turns on his heel, muttering a curse, fists clenched. As he stalks away from the well, he pulls out his phone and dials Sofia’s number, his chest tight with the realization that everything he thought he knew was a lie.
Sofia answers after two rings, her voice as casual as if he hadn’t just found out about her betrayal. “Hey, babe, what’s up ?”
Rafe’s voice is steely, cold. “Is it true? Is it true, what Groff just told me? Is it?”
The silence on her end is all he needs. He can practically hear her scrambling for words, but she never manages to answer. His face twists in anger.
“Pack your shit. Get out of my house,” he snarls, a final, unforgiving edge in his voice. “God, after everything I did for you? We’re done. Done.” He hangs up before she can say another word, shoving his phone back into his pocket with a bitter scoff. Betrayed, twice over—and he’d ignored the only person who saw it coming.
He stands there, baking in the Moroccan heat, his mind racing back to a month ago in Kildare, when you and he had argued over Sofia. You’d warned him that she wasn’t who she seemed. He’d brushed you off, accusing you of jealousy—knowing damn well that there was more to it. You were his best friend, but it was complicated; that line had already been crossed too many times, with late-night kisses and tangled sheets. But you two hadn’t spoken since that fight, since the way he’d brushed you off had hurt deeper than either of you cared to admit.
Taking a breath, he pulls out his phone again, fingers hovering over your name. He hesitates, swallowing his pride, before finally pressing call.
The phone rings, and you pick up after a few moments, your voice tight with annoyance. “What, Rafe?”
Your tone makes him pause, but the way you sound almost comforts him, even with the irritation clear in your voice. You’re there—back in Kildare, probably sitting cozy in your little apartment. Meanwhile, he’s out here under the scorching sun, alone, trying to piece together his pride.
He clears his throat. “Hey… princess,” he says, voice softened, the pet name slipping out before he can stop it. He can almost feel you rolling your eyes on the other end, but he presses on, the words weighing heavy on him. “I—uh… Look, I’m sorry. You were right.”
There’s a surprised pause, and he hears you shift in your seat as if you’re debating whether to hang up or let him speak. When you do answer, your tone is a bit softer, cautious.
“What happened?”
Rafe lets out a dry, humorless laugh. “Turns out Sofia was exactly who you said she was. A snake. And here I was, thinking you were just being… petty. But I guess I’m the idiot, huh?”
You breathe out, and he can picture you shaking your head, lips pressed together. “You wouldn’t listen,” you say quietly, as if the words hold more hurt than anger.
He sighs, running a hand through his hair, the frustration evident in his voice. “I know. I was so damn sure you were just jealous. I mean—” He pauses, grappling with how to say it. “Hell, I thought you were jealous because you… I don’t know. I thought you didn’t want me with her because we…” His voice trails off, but the implication lingers between you.
“Yeah,” you say softly, almost to yourself. “I get it.”
Rafe bites his lip, letting the words sink in. “Can I see you? I’m done here in a few days, and I could be back in Kildare very soon. I could stop by, explain… properly.”
A beat passes, and when you finally speak, it’s careful, guarded. “After everything you said last time, why should I?”
He laughs softly, almost self-deprecating. “Because I think you might be the only person I can trust right now. And… I miss you.” His voice drops, laced with a warmth he can’t help. “Even if you’re just going to gloat and rub it in my face.”
You chuckle, and he smiles, savoring the sound. “I don’t know if I miss you or if I just feel sorry for you,” you tease, but the playfulness is back in your tone, if only faintly.
“Yeah, yeah,” he says, amusement lacing his words. “Act like you don’t care. But come on, you miss me. Admit it.”
A small silence follows, and he imagines the way your lips twitch into a smile. Finally, you relent. “Maybe a little. But you’re bringing wine. Good wine.”
“Oh, don’t worry, baby,” he says, the flirtation back in his voice. “Only the best for you.”
You scoff, but he hears the hint of a laugh. It’s the closest thing he’s had to a good moment in a long time. He takes a breath, savoring the thought of leaving this mess behind and getting back to Kildare—back to the only person who knew him well enough to call him out, and care anyway. As the call ends, he puts his phone in his pocket, a grin spreading across his face, motivating him to get that crown and go to his princess.
taglist: @namelesslosers @princessslutt @averyoceanblvd @iknowdatsrightbih @starkeysprincess @sixrosberg @anamiad00msday @ivysprophecy @wearemadeofstardust0 @kissrotten @rafesangelita @sstargirln @rafedaddy01 @soldesole @bakugouswaif
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drunkinyourbenz · 3 days ago
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YOU DON'T REALLY NEED A BREAK
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☆ SYNOPSIS: in which billie is stressed, so naturally she needs you more than ever. unbenkownst to her, she takes it too far. ☆ PART ONE ☆ RELATIONSHIP: dom!billie eilish x fem!reader ☆ WARNINGS: SMUT, use of safe word, angst, fluff, comfort, mean billie, reader is a little bratty, situationship/fwb, angry sex, crying, strap-on, edging, degradation, petnames, name calling (slut, whore, brat, etc.), choking, hair pulling, humiliation, dumbification, toxic dynamic (except less so because billie's realising things hehe), unedited. ☆ REQUESTED: yes, by a bunch of anons ☆ NOTE: y'all read my mind with these reqeusts i was already thinking of writing a part two abt exactly this and you all had the same idea!! sorry this took so long lmao exams are kicking my ass :/ this is very unedited sorry for any mistakes i read it through once and then posted it lmao read part one first for it to make more sense ☆ WORD COUNT: 3.5k words
billie hadn’t texted you in a little over a week, and you almost thought that she wasn’t ever going to again. the last time you’d seen her had ended like all of the other nights, she’d cleaned you up and then left you alone in the silent hotel room. usually, she’d text afterwards, just to make sure you were feeling okay, but there was nothing. the last text between the two of you was when you’d asked where she was when she was late that night. 
the two of you normally hooked up at least a few times a week, and you’d never actually gone a week without her since you started this four months ago.
you thought the worst: someone else had replaced you as her favourite. you’d always thought it would happen, but you thought you might have a few more times before it was over. but from the looks of it, you weren’t ever going to see her again. 
which was fine, obviously. you didn’t care—or that’s what you kept telling yourself. you had agreed to a no-commitment thing when you two started whatever this was, and she could do whatever she wanted. it stung a little bit that she wasn’t doing you, but ultimately, there was nothing you could do about it. 
so when you got home from a long day, thoroughly exhausted, your plan for the night was to hide in your bed and watch 2000s tv shows until you passed out. you showered, taking your time to wash your hair and feeling your tense and tired muscles relax under the hot stream of water. once out of the shower, you changed into some comfortable clothes, flopping down on your bed in relief. you were ready to finally just cuddle up under the blankets like you’d been wishing you could do all day.
about eleven minutes into the gilmore girls episode you were up to—rewatching for the hundredth time—your phone pinged, and you almost just ignored it, but you picked it up with a groan. 
your eyes widened when you saw it was from billie, the last number you expected to text. your heart almost skipped a beat.
billie: come over?
you paused for a moment, conflicted. you truly were exhausted, and it had been such a long day, and all you wanted to do was sleep, you honestly weren’t in the mood for what you knew billie would want. but… it was billie. 
so, inevitably, you ended up at her door. you were still in the clothes you’d changed into the moment you got home, just some comfortable sweatpants and a top—billie wouldn’t care about what you wore, she wanted you to be comfortable. plus, you knew full well that you wouldn’t be wearing them for long. 
you knocked on the door, and it opened within mere seconds, almost as if billie had been waiting by the door for you to show up. from the look on her face, you wouldn’t be surprised. she looked stressed, angry, and desperate. you looked her up and down, your eyes settling on her face. she was wearing a pretty similar outfit to you, sweatpants that hung low on her hips, the “HIT ME HARD AND SOFT” waistband of her boxers peeking out, and a white tank top that you could see the slight hint of her nipples peeking through. her arms were bare and your eyes seemed to gravitate towards the toned muscles there, which never failed to make your brain short circuit. paired with the noticeable outline of her strap in her pants, it was almost too much for you to take. 
you noticed the way her eyebrows were slightly furrowed and her eyes were narrowed in a firm gaze, the frustration was clear on her face. “rough day?” 
she groaned, and when she spoke, her voice had a slight rasp to it, “you have no idea.” 
the two of you fell into silence, just staring at each other for a few long moments. it wasn’t a comfortable silence, it was one that hung in the air around you, a claustrophobic silence. there were words left unspoken between the two of you that poked their heads around the corner but never truly revealed itself, it left you wondering when it would snap, but it never did. the two of you stared at each other for what felt like lifetimes, you waiting for billie to do something, and billie simply savouring the feeling of having you in front of her again. 
finally, she spoke, her voice still holding that same raspiness—which alone could get you on your knees for her. “it’s pathetic that you’re here so fast, considering i ghosted you for a week. you’re just a desperate slut for me, aren’t you? not that you’d be good for anything else.”
the bluntness of her words sent a chill down your spine, this was exactly what you’d expected. why else would billie text you after a week of not talking, if not to use her favourite girl? 
billie continued talking before you could even get a word in, it was like she’d read your thoughts. she leaned closer, her lips brushing your ear as she spoke, “you know i could just call over any of my girls and they’d be here in a heartbeat, and they’d be exactly the same. pathetic, desperate, and begging.”
you raised an eyebrow at her words. you knew what she was doing, trying to wind you up, get you to act out. you had honestly intended to just be her good girl tonight because you were so tired, but you knew she adored it when you acted up. so you spoke with the bratty tone you knew she loved.
“sure you could. but none of them are here now, are they? you called me.” 
the brattiness, especially when she was in a mood like this, made her eyes light up. your brattiness was her favourite thing, she loved it when you gave her an excuse to be harsher and meaner than she was on a normal day. so, when you talked back to her, she lets out a dark laugh. “don’t fuckin’ test me, mama.” 
you let a soft scoff fall past your lips, “or what?” 
“you know i’ll put you in your place, i’ve done it before.” and then you realised, this was what set you apart. this was why you were her favourite. you weren’t afraid to act up, so she didn’t have to be afraid of taking it too far. she could push you, because you pushed her. “maybe you should. you want to blow off steam, don’t you?”
at your words, her lips twitched upwards into a slight, barely noticeable smirk. you knew she would be taking them as a challenge, “you’re gonna have to drop the bratty attitude eventually, mamas.”
“maybe you should make me.”
that was exactly what she wanted—she wanted you to keep going, keep winding her up. she wanted you to give her a reason to pin you down and tear you apart; and you gave her that reason with that simple suggestion.
she took your wrist in her hand, her grip almost painful as she tugged you behind her to her bedroom. the air felt different than it normally did when you were here, everything felt so tense. her entire body language screamed irritated, dominant. but it wasn’t the normal kind of dominance she normally exuded. billie always had this kind of casual dominance that just hung around her, her presence was just effortlessly assertive. this is different, she had a look in her eyes you hadn’t seen before—she was always mean, but this was her normal level of mean times ten. 
she was clearly in a whole new headspace, not one you were familiar with. this wasn’t just dominant, wasn’t just mean, no, it was something else. she wasn’t just a little stressed, she didn’t just have a little bit of frustration she needed to take out on you, this was worse. it was an almost animalistic kind of energy, one that’s so raw, so intense, you knew you wouldn’t be able to walk by the time she was finished with you.
she took one of the belts from her merch from her dresser, shoving you backwards onto the bed and tying your hands to the headboard. she tugged it slightly, making sure it was firm but not too tight. it sent a rush of excitement through you, and you knew she felt the same. 
“gonna use you, mamas,” you knew from those words that she was going to absolutely ruin you, and you could tell by the look in her eyes.
sure enough, no more than five minutes later, she had her strap deep inside of you and was pounding into you at a bruising pace. the strap was bigger than the one she usually used, and it made you ache with a constant stinging pain. she hadn’t given you any time to adjust, and had started as she meant to go on. you were naked and on her bed, with her on top of you, fucking into you at a brutal pace. your hands were still tied up with her belt and the ache it brought only amplified the pleasure. one of her hands had your hair in a firm grasp, solely to make you feel the sting of pain it brought. she wanted to bring you to tears. her other hand grabbed a handful of your ass, squeezing it before letting her hand fall down on your ass in a harsh slap. 
the intense pleasure of her cock inside you and her finger circling your clit was a perfect contrast to the pain her hands brought you, and a trail of moans fell from your lips. “b-billie-” 
a mean, almost cruel laugh left her lips, “god, you’re such a slut.” another slap landed on your ass, “it’s pathetic, really. i mean, i can ghost you for as long as i want,” another slap. “and you’re still at my door in five minutes as soon as i ask.” slap, “pathetic fuckin’ whore.” 
you whined, which simply made her laugh. in her own sadistic way, she was enjoying this. 
this continued for what felt like hours—maybe it was, you had no idea. every time you got slightly close to your orgasm, she’d pull out, tugging you away from the edge. by now, you had tears rolling down your cheeks, and the fine line between pleasure and pain was slowly but surely being crossed. 
“fuckin’ take it,” she breathed. “god, you look so dumb around my cock. all you’re good for, hm? spreading your legs and taking it like the slut you are?”
you whimpered, and she simply slapped your ass again. 
this continued for much longer, and she wasn’t even mad at you for being bratty, not in the slightest. she just needed an outlet for her bad mood, and that was what you were. merely a way for her to release her frustrations. 
you let out a choked sob, your body trembling, “billie, please, i can’t—” 
you knew she wasn’t doing this because she had anything against you, there had been something deeply wrong with her day. she had never been this downright cruel before, and you knew her well enough to know that she wouldn’t act like this without reason. but it was too much, and you weren’t sure how much more you could take. she hadn’t asked for your colour even once tonight, and that thought alone was putting you on edge. sure, her being rough turned you on, but right now it was scaring you just as much. this was darker than you’d experienced in all four months of your friends with benefits situation with her, and you weren’t sure if you liked it. 
you felt the strap hit your most sensitive spot, and you let out a sound that was a mix of a moan and a sob. “billie–” 
“like being used by me, yeah? taking everything i give you like a slut?”
you weren’t sure when you realised that you actually weren’t enjoying it anymore, but it was obvious all of a sudden. it hurt, and not in a good way. you were exhausted from both your day and the sheer amount of time she’d been edging you for. the way your arms had been tied to the bed for so long was making them ache painfully, and at some point down the line, your tears of pleasure had turned into tears of pain. 
you normally had the safety net of knowing that she was paying attention to your signals, knowing that she didn’t want to hurt you. but it didn’t even feel like she was aware of what she was doing, she was so caught up in herself and drowning out her own frustrations. you hated that lack of awareness, it was like she wouldn’t even notice if she actually hurt you. 
she looked like she was about to speak again, so before she could get out another degrading comment, you gasped out, “red, billie–”
whatever half formed sentence billie had been about to say died on her tongue, your gasped words making her freeze inside of you. her mind suddenly went silent, her frustrated thoughts about her day coming to a halt as she looked down at you with wide, almost scared eyes. you’d never actually used your safeword—obviously it was something that the two of you had communicated, but billie had never expected to actually go too far, to push you to that. she was meant to check in on your colours, and she felt an intense pang of guilt when she realised that she hadn’t done that. 
as she looked at you, noticing the tears and the exhausted expression, as well as the way your wrists were visibly sore from being tied for so long, she felt a sense of dread. she was overcome with shame and she didn’t know what to do about it. her breath caught in her throat as she processed what was going on.
“shit, i’m so sorry.” after a moment, she shook herself out of her paralysed shock, she would’ve pulled out immediately, but she was aware that that would just hurt you even more. so she leaned over, quickly untying the belt around your wrists and letting it fall to the ground beside the bed. she massaged your wrists gently for a moment, trying to soothe you. 
her hands moved over your tense muscles, trying to ease some of the soreness. she brushed some of your hair out of your eyes, her touch soft and cautious. “i-i’m so sorry, baby. i never wanted to push you that far.”
you knew that. you knew that she would never actually intend to hurt you, you knew that she wasn’t herself. you didn’t need her to over explain herself, you just needed her to hold you. the hand that had been pushing your hair out of your eyes moved to stroke your cheek, and you could see the intense guilt in her eyes. 
“i’m gonna pull out now, okay?” her voice trembled slightly as she spoke, eyes fixed on your face. 
you simply nodded, hissing slightly in pain as she gently pulled the strap out of you. billie felt her stomach twist at your obvious pain, knowing that she had done that. “i know, i’m so sorry.”
once she was out of you, she climbed off you and gently shifted you so you were sitting further up the bed, propped up on the pillows slightly. her mind was clearly racing with what she could do to help, “do you need anything? water, food, whatever?”
you shook your head softly. if your brain hadn’t been so exhausted, you probably would have thought more rationally about this. but you didn’t, and you didn’t once consider the limited affection in your dynamic. “can you just hold me?” 
billie didn’t hesitate, she just nodded instantly. “yeah, of course i can.” she joined you further up the bed, pulling you into her arms. she held you against her chest gently, her fingers soothingly running through your hair while her hand rubbed your back softly. 
you could hear her heartbeat, it was fast and a clear reminder of how stressed she was. you spoke softly, “it’s okay, seriously.”
but it wasn’t okay, not to billie. she had hurt you, she had pushed you too far, even when you were already clearly tired. she should’ve known better, and the guilt was weighing down from her and eating her up from the inside. not to mention she was terrified that this might be your last straw, that you might never want to see her again, that she might have broken your trust. wondering why she cared so much about her casual fling’s feelings was something that would have left her perplexed on any other day, but it was not currently at the forefront of her mind. “but–”
“it’s okay.” you said firmly, “i wouldn’t be asking you to hold me if i was uncomfortable around you.” 
those words seemed to ease billie’s nerves slightly, and she tightened her arms around you, holding you close. after a few minutes of this, she gently pulled you to sit in your lap, and you shifted so that your head was buried in the crook of her neck. you could feel her breathing on your skin, and you could feel her chest rising and falling with each breath. it was incredibly grounding, the feeling of just being close to her. ever so slowly, you felt your breathing calm and your heart rate slow down. 
at least an hour passed as you were just laying there in her arms, your breathing syncing with hers as her fingers ran through your hair. it was a foreign thing, for the two of you to be this close without sex, but it felt so right. it was like you were made to be in her arms, despite the situation that had brought you here. you could sense her guilt, and if you’d been a bit more aware of what was going on, you probably would’ve realised that there was something more behind that guilt—something deeper than just feeling bad for pushing you. but you were unaware, it wasn’t really what took place at the front of your mind. 
the room was filled with only the sound of both of you breathing, and your mind was taken over by the calming feeling of her playing with your hair. after a while, she broke the silence. “d’you wanna borrow something to wear?” 
you couldn’t deny that you liked the feeling of this skin to skin contact, but you also knew that it was a good idea. so you nodded quietly, and she delicately lifted you off her lap and set you down on the bed. she walked over and grabbed you an oversized t-shirt to wear, and she walked into the ensuite to grab a damp cloth. she came back over and gently wiped your thighs with the cloth, at this point you didn’t flinch too much because it had been so long. she held out the t-shirt, which you recognised as one she had worn at some point.
“arms up, darling.” that was a new pet name, but you didn’t comment. instead, you just lifted your arms and allowed her to slip the top over your head. it smelt like her, which somehow just added to the comfort. 
soon enough, she was back on the bed and you were back in her arms. she was laying down and you were laying with her, partly on top of her and partly just cuddled up to her side. this hadn’t happened before between the two of you, but you certainly weren’t complaining. her bed was comfortable, and her arms around you felt like a cocoon you never wanted to grow out of. 
gradually, your breathing started to slow as the exhaustion caught up on you, both from the recent events and your already tiring day. your head slumped onto her shoulder as a yawn fell from your lips, to which billie smiled softly. 
“do you want to stay the night?” 
that was not something you’d ever expected billie to say, but you hummed softly against her shoulder. “if that’s okay, yeah.”
you could’ve sworn you heard a sigh of relief from billie, “of course it’s okay, please stay. i want you to stay.” 
and so you did. you stayed that night, wrapped up in billie’s arms. it was so new, but it felt so right. that night had been an irreversible shift in your relationship, for both obvious reasons and more hidden ones. you knew that the two of you would have to talk about some stuff in the morning, and you knew you’d have to set some more boundaries. but you also felt closer to her than you ever had, somehow. 
little did you know, that night was just as  meaningful for billie as it was for you. she had had a revelation, one that she would likely keep to herself for a while, although there was no doubt you would find out eventually. 
but there was no doubt that billie wanted you to stay, longer than she’d ever thought.
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gyeomsweetgyeom · 2 days ago
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[7:27 am]
You sat up abruptly, your phone vibrating incessantly on the bedside table. You blinked as the filtered sunlight streamed in through the blinds, how long had you been asleep? It felt like days. Damn, how deeply asleep were you?
You reached blindly for your phone, answering groggily and blindly, "hello?"
Beside you, Chenle shifted, still asleep, but not as deep after your abrupt wake up. He always slept more soundly knowing that you were asleep right beside him. It was common that you would wake up first and a few minutes later Chenle would follow. Somewhere deep in the back of his mind, his body didn’t want to waste a single waking moment without you- or even sleeping moment.
Your conversation starts hushed and quiet as your best friend tells you all about her night out. You laugh as she tells you about a guy she met and Chenle turns in your direction, his eyes still shut and still asleep.
"No! You didn't!" You exclaim as your friend loudly laughs about how she turned this guy down.
Chenle sighs, he's actually awake now. His eyes are shut but your exclamations of disbelief have woken him up with no chance of going back to sleep. You don't even notice as you laugh loudly and unapologetically.
His eyes are open now, in a cold, hard glare, but he's glaring at your back. He loves your voice, your laugh especially, but he could do without the loud sound waking him up. Maybe if you asked him up with soft giggles and kisses, not the sound of your friend screaming from the speaker. You start to speak again, "I mean he totally deserved it he jus- mmmm mmmm."
Chenle has pressed a hand over your mouth and snatched the phone from your hand. Your friend is still talking, so loud, as he hangs up. He looks at you with an unimpressed look, "do you know what time it is?"
"It's seven twe-" you start to say.
"Exactly," Chenle tuts, "it's seven in the morning. It's our day off. I— we, should be asleep."
"I didn't mean to wake you, baby. I'm sorry, I got carried away. Go back to sleep. I'll be quiet," you promise sympathetically, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
Chenle burrows under the warmth of the covers once again, but feels the bed shift and suddenly most of the warmth was gone. He pries his eyes open with a frown, "where are you going?"
Your face is one of confusion, "I don't want to keep you awake any longer and I'm not tired anymore. I was going to go make coffee.”
"Oh, so you wake me up and now you deprive me of cuddles?" he sasses back in genuine shock.
“Well, I was also going to call my friend back—”
Chenle groans loudly with a pout, “just say you hate me! You can call later! Cuddle me now!”
You laugh softly, crawling beneath the covers once more and allowing him to pull you against his chest, “you’re so bossy.”
“Shhh!” He hisses, “no more talking. I’m sleeping.”
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bittersw33t-lotus · 2 days ago
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Little Life
Ghosting Series pt. 3
Simon “Ghost” Riley x Fem! Reader
Cw: pregnancy stuff, reader is female, cursing (let me know I I missed anything)
A/N: sorry if this is very short the chapters may be pretty short just so my motivation to keep writing can stay.
Part 2 here
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“Alright hon, if you can lay on the bed and lift you shirt over you belly please.” Dr. Raven says, the woman pointing to the dull looking patient bed with thin paper lining fitted over the top.
You follow her words and sit down on the bed, the cushion was surprisingly comfortable to sit on. You bring your shirt up over your stomach stopping at your rib cage and lay back waiting for Raven to prepare for the scanning. You watch as she brings out a plastic bottle you assumed was the gel, as she opened the plastic cap as she looks at you. “Okay, I’m going to put this on your abdomen. Be prepared, this will be cold.” She says as she squeezes the bottle over your stomach, the bright translucent blue gel slithers out the opening and trails down towards your stomach.
The moment it makes contact with your skin, your stomach retracted back at the cold viscous material. You shudder a breath and laugh a bit. “You weren’t lying.” You joked as Raven smiled and chucked at your response.
“Always takes them by surprise.” She says before she finishes squeezing the bottle, pulling it away and closing the cap back on. Placing it down on the table beside her she grabs the transducer clicking a few buttons and the screen turns on. She places the nub against your abdomen and spread the gel around your stomach and looks at the screen seeing the scan coming through as she adjusts it to hover where your uterus is.
You watch the screen feeling a bit anxious as you watch trying to figure out exactly what you were seeing, after a couple seconds you soon immediately spot a little white blob. A baby.
“There it is. Your baby.” She tells you as you stare at the screen in awe. That’s really inside you. Your baby slowly growing by the second, yours and Simon’s baby.
“So tiny.” You say as Dr. Raven nods to your words.
“You’re only eight weeks currently, it looks like you and the baby are doing just fine so far, baby is healthy and growing, overall you’re both doing great. I’ll provide you with some prenatal vitamins for you to take. I did notice in your readings, your blood pressure is a bit high than we’d like it to be so I need you to make sure you’re not overworking yourself, do more things to keep you calm and not focus and do things that cause you such distress if that’s possible. Other than that, you’re all set and good to go. Do you have any questions for me?” Dr. Raven says as she takes a few pictures of the scan to print out for you.
You breathe out in relief, the baby is all good. You figured the high blood pressure was definitely caused by the whole situation with Simon so you don’t know how you can make yourself forget about it, on top of that you’ve also been worried about finding a place to live and trying to figure out your financial situation now with Simon out of the picture. You take a deep breath and nod at Dr. Ravens advice. “I’ll be sure not to.” You tell her with a small smile as she hands you a paper towel to wipe off the gel, which you take.
“Would you be comfortable with telling me about the cause for your mental or physical wellbeing may be? Anything that maybe I could help you with if possible.” She asks you; you can spot the concern in her eyes when she brings it up.
You shake your head and ignore the feeling you felt as she brings it up but regardless you smile and shake your head. “Just trying to deal with not having the father in the picture. He decided he didn't want to be around." You tell her as she nods, understanding your words.
"I'm sorry to hear that." She tells you as you simply shrug your shoulders pulling you shirt back down.
"it's fine, think we'll be better off without him anyways.” You tell her. It's true, to an extent, at least that’s what keep telling yourself. You know you can do this all on your own. It won't be easy, but you hope you can manage. But deep down, you know you'll never be okay not having him by your side. He’ll miss out on so much, like watching your baby grow, learning and growing along with the baby as that baby also learns from you. You both won’t grow old together like you both wanted, with a bunch of animals, but with the baby included, maybe one or two more if things had worked out in the end.
You finish up the remaining paper work you had to sign and received your vitamins. Dr. Raven hands the ultrasound pictures to you in a white envelope and you make your way back to the lobby where Jared waited, still sitting and reading the pamphlets. He looks up as he notices you approaching and smiles as he stands up. “How’d it go?” He asks you.
You hold up the envelope with a smile. “It was great, got to see the baby, doctor said that they’re healthy and everything looks good thankfully. Just have to focus on not stressing myself out so much.” You tell him as you both make your way out of the building and into the parking lot.
“That’s great to hear. I’m sure Stacy already told you but she has a surprise in stock for you but she’s wondering if you have anything nice to wear.” He asks you as you approach the car.
Opening the car door you think for a minute before you nodded. “Yeah, I should.” You tell him. You’re sure you can find something. You took everything with you when you left Simon’s place, all your things are still in boxes save for the necessities that you need, but you’re sure you can find something.
On the drive back you spent the entire car ride back home staring and looking at the ultrasound picture, the little blob that you still couldn’t grasp was your baby, just still needed some more months to grow before you can meet them and that made you anxious. You don’t think you could wait that long.
“What’re you hoping for?” Jared asks you, steering the wheel as he switches to the next lane, glancing at the photos in your hand.
You think about it for a moment, it hasn’t crossed your mind surprisingly. Either one would be great, there was a moment where you dreamt of having a baby girl with Simon. You can’t lie, the sight of Simon being a girl dad made you all giddy and warm. Then thinking about a little boy, one that looked like a copy and paste of Simon would be so cute. You smile as the possibilities ran through your head, of course you’re just being delusional, you wouldn’t be able to see that happen ever. Just a thought in the back of your mind.
“Honestly either would be great. I don’t mind what I have, as long as the baby is healthy that’s enough for me.” You say tucking the photos into your purse, holding it close to you.
Jared smiled and nodded. “Sounds great, you’ll make a great mother. I’m sure of it.” He says to you as you smile, the reassurance from Jared was something you didn’t know you needed but greatly appreciated.
“Thanks.” You say to him, before you know it you’ve finally made it back home.
Once you arrived home you got out the car and walked into the house. Right away Stacy approached you with a smile.
“How’d it go?” She asks you as she gets up from the soft couch and walking over towards you and Jared.
You pull out the envelope and pull out the multiple pictures and hand them out for her. Upon seeing them she awe’s as she examined the little bean like fetus. “Little baby.” She coos before looking at you. “How far along are you?” She asks you.
“Eight weeks. I’ll be able to see the baby’s gender by fourteen weeks.” You tell her as she hands back the photos to you. Placing them in you bag you can see Stacy smile as she walks towards the island counter of in the kitchen. “Oh, what was that surprise you had in store?” You ask her.
She props herself up on the counter with her elbows and looks at the time. “We decided to treat you to dinner tonight. We have a reservation set for six tonight. You feeling up for it?” She asks you.
You take a moment to think and nod your head a bit excited to hear you’ll be eating at a restaurant feeling your hormones go crazed at the thought of food. “Yeah, I’ll get ready now.” You tell her with a wide smile. You haven’t eaten out at a restaurant in a long time. Last time you went was with Simon for the last anniversary together.
Making your way to your ‘room��� you take out a box with your fancier clothes. Opening the box you pull out multiple tops, bottoms, and dresses. Finally choosing one you like you slip the dress on and admire yourself in the mirror. You bump is bulging out a bit, you take the time to admire it.
You took the time to shower, do your make up and get dressed right on time. Stacy looked at your outfit as you did a 360 showing off your outfit. “You’re not even half way into pregnancy and already look like a milf.” Stacy jokes, you laugh as you grab your purse.
“Don’t tell me lies Stace.” You tell her as she shrugs her shoulder.
“I only tell the truth.” She says as you both walk out the door and towards the already running car where Jared sat in waiting for you two.
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“Fuckin’ hell.”
A click from the lock sounds from the front door as it swings open. Simon’s bulking frame walks through the door as he scans the house. It’s dark and eerily silent.
When Simon came back, he felt like shit. His heart dreaded coming home to see your answer. He hoped you stayed, at least long enough till he came back, he planned to move out the house and leave it for you if you decided to keep the baby. It would give him a peace of mind to know where you were and know that you and the kid were safe, and you could use the extra room and space for the baby. But, even if you got rid of it, he doesn’t know if your relationship could ever be the same.
However your answer was first made clear when your car not in the drive way. His heart dropped but he took a deep breath, ‘Maybe she’s at the store.’ He thought. He hadn’t texted you either to let him know he was coming home today, he couldn’t bring himself too.
You’re not here. It’s something Simon suspected but he still feels dread overcome him as he steps into the house and notices the little things around the house that belonged to you were gone. Your shoes were gone, your car keys, the blanket you left on the couch is gone. He walks into your shared bedroom, which is now his bedroom, opening the door and he’s stunned with how much of an eye sore it is. His room is so plain now, like how it looked before you moved in with him.
He remembers how much you wanted to decorate the place, especially the bedroom, you hated how lifeless the whole house looked. It didn’t take much to convince him to let you decorate saying , “Go crazy.” And you did. Literally. You decorated adding a touch of you but keeping it to an extent to not overwhelm Simon. You hung up a few decorations and posters in the bed room of bands you and Simon both loved. A few shelves displaying your books and trinkets. Your touch added to his home making it more like home for him. Like you were his home. He liked, loved it if he dare say, he worried you would over do the place but it look perfect. Like you.
But now as he looked around the house, he sees the walls are bare and plain. He feels plain now, empty. Sad. He looks through your closet and drawers only to find them completely bare and empty.
He walks into the living room notices your shoes are gonna as well from the rack, and the little table beside the front door, he noticed the white folded paper on the little ceramic plate that held their keys, walking over he pick up the paper seeing his name written on it in your hand writing, unfolding it reveals page with your writing inked into the material.
‘I know we made a promise but this is something that takes two to do, accidents happen and I know you never wanted children and you knew it was still on the table for me, I’m thankful that you gave me a choice, even if it wasn’t easy. I don’t want to drag you into something you never wanted but it still hurts that I have to chose between you and this baby. I figured it was best for the both of us if I left, you can keep your home and I can keep my baby. I hope you stay safe out there Simon and please take care of yourself. I still and always will love you and I’m sorry.’ Simon checked the back of the paper for anything else but it was empty. You didn’t say where or what you were going to do and it scared Simon. Were you safe, do you have a place to stay, do you have people to help?
He knew you weren’t really in any contact with your family, your only friends were Johnny, Gaz, and Price. His ‘friends’ were yours. For the most part Simon knew you didn’t have anyone to help you or look after you and the baby. “Fuck!”
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Taglist <3
@wise-owl @sandyseagullsip @mileyraes @nicolebarnes @nikkyevansdochen22 @mattmurdock-wife24 @demonking-69 @mooievis @lunamoonbby @cherrycosmos392 @eevee-of-eternity @makimamybelovedwife @venavanup @amberpanda99 @simplyymee98 @callmeluno @stormy-stardust @ssc7514 @badbitchthings @moldypeaching @asteria33 @going-through-shit @blarba-girl @leonsgirlie @andoraamore @nobodycanknoww @thegreyjoyed @natashamea18 @kylies-love-letter @blackhawkfanatic @leehoonii-i @xenop0p @sh1ga-to3s
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chryso-poeia · 1 day ago
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In part, to be great is to know that you will be judged for it. But when you’re dead, they will quickly forget you. Do not waste time trying to convince anyone of anything. Do you see now? Their attention is fleeting, their opinions too, their actions too. You owe no one forgiveness for being exactly who you are. You better fucking stand up straight now, shame has no home in that heart which beats every minute to keep you alive.
”No wild thing has ever felt sorry for itself.”
Those that often lead with, and most certainly live by, fear: Go against their illusions and they will hate you. Go against their justifications for folding to bitterness, and they will hate you. Go against the constructs they prop up their fear based world on, they will ostracize you. Eventually you’ll realize you’re just going up against a sand castle, which is fear. Let them crumble on their own, refuse participation in the mutually agreed upon illusions and limitations. If said people multiply in number, remember how ideas reinforce themselves in the mind: by multiplying in associations into smaller ideas. For whatever anyone tries to take from me, they cannot take what i am, the idea that i represent and stand for.
I’ve learned to tell myself: ”Get the fuck back up, you owe no one forgiveness for being who you want to be, for feeling how you feel and for living exactly how you please. Their ignorance is not mine. I will live and i will die this way through love. No one and nothing can dim the light of my being, so any attempts or illusions of it are futile.”
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redroomreflections · 2 days ago
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At The End of The Night
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Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader
The Loud House Universe
Warnings: Smut Inside - Minors DNI (18+)
Note: I hope y'all enjoy
Summary: Wanda has always been a third in Reader and Nat's relationship. Why not take it to the next level?
W/c: 5k
It felt strange, in a good way, for the house to be this quiet. You were seated on the couch, sandwiched between Wanda and Natasha, as the soft TV light bathed the room in dim, darting light. Cara was away at a sleepover with friends, leaving you and Natasha with the rare opportunity for a quiet night. Of course, inviting Wanda over for a movie night was a given.
People always joked that Wanda was the third in your marriage, and while that was only half true, the three of you shared a bond unlike any other. When Wanda joined the team, you were the first person to make her feel welcome, and she was someone who quickly found her place in your lives. You and Wanda immediately hit it off, bonding over a few common interests and quickly building a friendship that became as easy as family. Wanda was a person you trusted with pretty much everything. She's someone you both cared about deeply.
Now, nestled together under a heavy blanket, Wanda gave an exaggerated sigh as she leaned her head against the pillows. “I’m just saying, if he wanted her back, he could have tried a little harder than just showing up at her work with a bouquet,” she scoffed, her eyes never leaving the screen.
Natasha smirked on your other side. “It’s a rom-com. If it made sense, it wouldn’t be half as entertaining,” she said, sipping her wine. She draped an arm casually over the back of the couch, stroking the back of your neck with the tip of her fingers.
You sighed softly at the sensation, the wine, and the heat of their bodies, making you feel content and comfortable. Wanda shifted, and her thigh pressed against yours. The movie was coming to an end, and you were buzzed. It was a good feeling.
"I need more wine," You announced.
"Oh no, you don't," Natasha gripped your glass out of arms' reach. "You get too frisky when you're drunk."
"You say that like it's a bad thing," You scoffed.
"It is when we have guests," Natasha gestured to Wanda. "You've been rubbing my leg this entire movie."
You hadn't even noticed. "Sorry, Wands," You apologized.
"No, I'm used to it," Wanda waved her hand, dismissing your concerns.
"Used to it?" You frowned.
Wanda nodded. "You're not subtle. You always do the same things when you're drunk, which isn't often. You guys are very touchy-feely." She teased, laughing a little as she looked between you and Natasha. "Not that it's a bad thing."
"Sorry if that makes you uncomfortable," Natasha apologized.
"It's fine," Wanda promised. "It's a nice change, actually. Everyone is so formal, and everyone always wants something from me. You guys are the only ones who make me feel... Normal. It's nice."
"We'll always be here for you," You smiled. "You're sweet."
She smiled back at you.
“You don’t have to be anyone but yourself with us. And if you ever feel uncomfortable, just say the word.” You told her.
Wanda smiled, glancing down. “You guys are the best,” she said, looking up with a hint of bashfulness. “I guess I’ve always wondered what that would feel like—to have someone you could just be yourself around all the time.”
You exchanged a quick glance with Natasha before gently nudging Wanda with your shoulder. “It’ll happen for you, too, you know. Some lucky person out there will love you for exactly who you are.”
Wanda chuckled, her cheeks turning a little pink. “You both make it look so easy, though. How do you even start with all of this… relationship stuff?”
"Have you not been in one?" Natasha raised a brow.
"No, not really. There was a guy back home, but he was a jerk. And I was so busy, and then there was Ultron and Sokovia, and..." Wanda trailed off, shaking her head. "It's always seemed like a luxury."
"It's not. It's an incredible experience." You said, smiling to yourself as you glanced at your wife.
"And the sex is a bonus," Natasha grinned.
Wanda rolled her eyes. "I'm sure."
"What?" You frowned, a little confused. "Are you a virgin?"
"No, no," Wanda shook her head. "I've slept with a man before, but..."
"But what?" Natasha frowned.
"I've never slept with a woman," Wanda explained.
"Would you like to?" You tilted your head.
"With whom?" Wanda's eyes widened.
"Well, not necessarily now," You shook your head. You licked your lips and thought it over. "But we could help you practice if you'd like."
"Practice?"
"Sure," Natasha nodded. "There's no reason for you to have a bad first time."
"I'm not asking for a pity-fuck," Wanda rolled her eyes. She sighed. "I should probably get home."
"Or you could stay?" You suggested, looking over to Natasha for backup. "If you want."
Natasha nodded in agreement. "It's a big bed, and you could have the spare room if you'd rather have privacy. But, no pressure."
"Yeah," You agreed. "It doesn't have to be anything weird. I mean, not unless you want it to be."
Wanda stared at you both briefly, her brow creasing a little. "So, what, I'll come to sleep with you guys, and you'll make me feel good?"
"If that's what you want, yes," You nodded. "And if not, we'll still be here for you."
"Why?"
"Because we're your friends and care about you," Natasha shrugged. "We're offering because we'd like to, but if you're not interested, that's fine, too."
Wanda looked at the both of you for a moment, a little taken aback. You felt a little guilty. You hadn't meant to make her uncomfortable.
"What would we do?" She finally asked.
"Whatever you'd like. Whatever makes you feel good," Natasha assured her.
"I'm sorry," Wanda shook her head. She brushed a hand over her face to collect her thoughts. "Maybe I've had too much to drink. Are you guys being serious?"
"Yes," You nodded.
"Okay, hold on. Let me process," Wanda put up her hands.
You and Natasha exchanged another glance, not wanting to make the younger woman feel awkward.
"I'm going to grab more wine," Natasha announced, standing up. "Be right back."
"You can ask questions," You said, reaching over and squeezing her hand.
"I-I'm not sure what to ask," She admitted.
"How do you feel about it?"
"A little embarrassed," Wanda chuckled nervously. "But also a little curious."
"What's embarrassing about it?"
"It's not something that's normally talked about, is it? People don't go around bragging about how much they want to fuck their friends." She explained, dropping her hands to her lap. "You two are generous for the offer, but I don't want to be someone intruding on your marriage."
"It's only intruding if we say no and you push," You reminded her. "Which is the same for you. If you say no, we won't push."
There was a long pause from her. She hadn't said no yet.
Wanda sighed softly, running a hand through her hair. "I'm afraid I won't be good. What if I fumble, or what if it's awkward and..."
"Then we'll have a laugh and call it a day. I promise." You reassured her.
Wanda bit her lip, and you watched her eyes dart from the door to you and back to the door. Finally, she turned to look at you again.
"What would you want to do with me?" She asked, her voice a little softer. Instead of telling her, you decided to show her. You scooted closer to her on the couch, raising your hands to her face before leaning in to press your lips against hers. Her lips were soft, and her skin was warm. She melted into the kiss, her shoulders relaxing as she brought a hand up to touch your face. You pulled away for a moment, gauging her reaction. Her lips were slightly parted, and her cheeks flushed, but she said nothing.
"Come here," You whispered. This kiss was more sensual. Mainly for her benefit and partly because you'd wanted to taste her for a while. You sucked on her bottom lip, eliciting a soft moan from the young woman.
"I can see why you're a married woman," Wanda whispered.
"I've got some moves," You smirked.
"So do I," Wanda replied, suddenly pulling you back in. Her lips were hungry and insistent, and her tongue flicked against yours, drawing another soft moan from the depths of your throat.
"I leave for two minutes," Natasha sighed. She had three filled wine glasses balancing in her hands. "I take it you're up for the offer."
"I'm still considering," Wanda replied, though her eyes were glued to your lips. "We should discuss this over wine."
Natasha grinned. "Good plan. Here's your glass." She handed Wanda the red wine before sitting next to you. She reached for the remote, flicked the TV off, and plunged the room into semi-darkness. Only the soft glow from the kitchen light illuminated the living room.
Wanda gulped down her glass of wine as you looked at her amusedly. When her glass was empty, she softly set it on the table. "Are you guys in an open marriage?"
"No," Natasha answered. "Not open. We just like you."
"I'm not a homewrecker," Wanda insisted.
"It's not a wreck if we want to share," You said.
Wanda took a deep breath, looking between you and Natasha. She chewed on her bottom lip as she contemplated your proposition. You could tell she was nervous but also intrigued.
"If it's too much, we can stop whenever you want," Natasha reminded her.
"Can I kiss you?" Wanda asked her.
"I'd be upset if you didn't."
Wanda's lips crashed against Natasha's. Their lips locked, their tongues meeting as the two women explored each other. The sight was breathtaking, and you could feel the arousal growing within you.
You took a long sip of your wine, watching them. There were key differences in how you kissed and Natasha kissed. Natasha was more hands-on with her kissing, opting to feel whatever part of your body she could get her hands on. You could see them twitch in her lap out of the corner of your eye. Her kisses were confident and sensual. They left no doubt in your mind about what her intentions were.
Wanda's hands rested against your thighs, occasionally gripping them. She was less intense and more curious. Her kisses were tentative, exploring the other woman's mouth slowly and deliberately. She clearly felt for Natasha, and you wondered if the redhead knew. It was a dangerous line to cross, but you were not giving up this opportunity.
You couldn't help but wonder if this was how Natasha felt the first time the two of you had sex. Seeing the two of them together was thrilling and a little surreal.
Natasha was the one to break the kiss. She pulled away with a sigh, licking her lips as she looked over at you.
"You've got good taste," She smirked.
"So do you," You winked.
"How far do we want to take this?" Natasha asked, looking over at Wanda. "The ball is in your court."
"I have some ideas," Wanda blushed. "But I'm a little afraid."
"Do you want to be the one getting fucked?" You asked.
"Yes," Wanda nodded.
"Do you want to fuck Natasha, or do you want her to fuck you?"
"I-I... I want you to fuck me," Wanda said.
"That can be arranged," You winked.
"And do you want me to watch, or do you want me to join?" Natasha asked, her fingers dancing along Wanda's arm.
"Whatever you'd like," Wanda said softly.
"We have plans for you yet," You rested a hand on the small of her waist. "I hope this is okay."
"This is great," Wanda said, leaning back as you kissed her neck. "Just different. I'm not used to being treated this way."
"Well, you deserve it," Natasha purred. "And so does my wife. She likes it a little rough. How do you like it?"
"I'm not sure," Wanda admitted. "I've only had sex a couple of times, and it wasn't amazing."
"Oh, honey," Natasha cooed. "We'll take good care of you. That's a promise."
"Okay," Wanda breathed.
"Come here," You grabbed her by the waist, pulling her over onto your lap. You kissed her gently, trying to soothe her. You didn't want her to feel uncomfortable or pressured; the last thing you wanted was for her to feel like an intruder.
Wanda moaned into your mouth as your tongue found hers, the tension in her shoulders gradually melting away. Your fingers crept under the hem of her shirt, gently rubbing the soft skin of her lower back.
"Do you want to take this to the bedroom?" Natasha asked.
"Yes," Wanda nodded, breaking the kiss and climbing off your lap. Natasha took her hand, leading her to the bedroom as you trailed. The room was dark and cool. She set Wanda up on the edge of the bed.
"I want to see you two kiss," She blushed.
"Oh, does that turn you on?"
"It always has," She nodded.
Natasha smirked. "Then we should oblige." She turned and kissed you, her hands cupping your face. Her lips were soft, and the taste of wine lingered on her tongue.
"Mm," Wanda hummed.
You'd wanted Natasha's hands on your body all night. She sucked on your tongue, drawing a soft moan from the depths of your throat.
"Fuck, that's hot," Wanda whimpered.
You smiled into the kiss, feeling Natasha's lips pull up at the corners. You broke the kiss and pulled her close, your bodies pressing against each other.
"Your turn," You said, gesturing towards Wanda. "Go easy on her."
"Wouldn't dream of doing otherwise," Natasha replied, her green eyes sparkling.
"Are you gonna strip, or are you waiting for me to do it?" Wanda teased.
Natasha laughed, walking over to the young woman and sitting beside her. She placed a hand on her thigh and leaned in, kissing her. This time, there was no hesitation.
Natasha kissed her hungrily, her fingers tracing circles against her bare skin. Wanda moaned softly, her body shivering. She broke the kiss, looking up at Natasha through thick lashes.
"Are you alright?" Natasha asked.
"More than," Wanda nodded.
"Can I touch you?"
"Please."
Natasha's hand trailed up her thigh and slipped underneath her shirt. Her hand found the soft cup of her bra as she used her thumb to tease Wanda's nipple through the material. To Wanda, it was perfect foreplay, but you knew better. Natasha was gauging Wanda's sensitivity. She did not disappoint.
"Mmm," Wanda sighed, her back arching slightly to get more feeling. "Fuck, that feels good."
"Does it?" Natasha smirked, continuing to rub the fabric. Wanda's nipple was hardening and beginning to peek out.
"Yes," Wanda whimpered.
"You want more?"
"Please."
Natasha's fingers slipped beneath her bra, her fingertips brushing against the soft, sensitive skin. Wanda moaned, her body jerking a little.
"Fuck, that's so good," Wanda whined.
"You like having your nipples played with, don't you?" Natasha purred.
"Y-yes," Wanda breathed.
Natasha smirked. "Good to know."
She kissed her again, her lips hungry and demanding. Wanda melted into the kiss, her body sinking into the mattress. You used that moment of distraction to begin unbuttoning Wanda's jeans. Your fingers made quick work of the buttons and zipper.
"Lift up for me, baby," You requested.
Wanda raised her hips, letting you slide the denim down her legs. You tossed them to the side, leaving her in her panties and her bra.
Natasha finally broke the kiss, and Wanda gasped for air. "You're so beautiful," Natasha murmured, eyes scanning the younger woman's body. "And you taste so sweet."
Wanda blushed. "Thank you," She said shyly.
"My turn," You grinned, kneeling between her thighs.
"Your wife has good ideas," Wanda hummed.
You spread Wanda's legs for her, noting the wet patch on the front of her underwear. Your mouth watered at the sight.
"You've been wanting this for a while," You mused as you approached her. You used your knuckle to brush against the wet spot finding her clit with ease.
"Shit," Wanda gasped.
You smirked at the reaction.
"I'd ask you what you were thinking, but I think it's fairly obvious." You teased, rubbing slow, firm circles around her clit.
Wanda moaned, her body writhing beneath you. "F-fuck."
"Don't make her come so fast," Natasha warned as she pinched Wanda's nipples between her fingers.
"Sorry, babe," You smirked, pulling your hand away.
Wanda let out a soft whimper at the sudden loss of contact.
"We can't have that," Natasha purred. She moved her hands from Wanda's chest and slid her fingers underneath the waistband of her underwear. "Lift up for me, pretty girl."
Wanda obeyed, raising her hips once again. Natasha hooked her fingers around the fabric and tugged them down. She tossed them over her shoulder, her green eyes raking over Wanda's exposed skin.
"Fuck," Natasha muttered.
"What is it?" Wanda asked.
"You're just so... fucking gorgeous,"
"I didn't shave," Wanda apologized. "I didn't exactly plan for this."
"Doesn't matter," You shook your head. "Natasha, hold her." You raised your chin. Natasha immediately knew what you were asking of her. She moved across the bed and leaned back against the pillows and headboard. She patted the spot between her legs for Wanda to come and sit. Wanda leaned back against Natahsa's front.
You grabbed Wanda's thighs, pulling her down the bed and spreading her legs, her glistening pussy on display for you. You didn't hesitate to lean in and lap up her slit. Her taste exploded on your tongue, the sweet taste of her arousal coating your tastebuds.
"Fuuuuck," Wanda groaned.
"You're doing so good," Natasha murmured, her hands massaging Wanda's tits and belly.
You continued to lick her, her taste and scent surrounding you. You moaned softly, loving the way she writhed beneath you.
"Y-you're really good at that," Wanda panted, her body jerking and trembling. "MMM," She moaned softly.
You could feel her pussy getting wetter and wetter with each flick of your tongue.
"She's very skilled," Natasha chuckled.
"Oh, fuck," Wanda moaned, her head falling back. "Please."
You hummed softly, the vibration adding to her pleasure.
"Oh, please, oh," Wanda whimpered.
"She's really sensitive," Natasha mused. "Do you like that?" She asked.
"Y-yes, it feels amazing," Wanda stammered.
You smirked, swirling your tongue around her clit. Her thighs trembled in response, and you knew she was close.
"You don't know how long we've been wanting you," Natasha murmured into her ear. She nuzzled her neck with her nose.
"R-really?"
"You're gorgeous," Natasha murmured, her voice soft. "Of course."
"So are you," Wanda breathed.
"We could've done this so long ago," Natasha said, kissing her cheek.
Wanda didn't answer, and you weren't sure if she was even listening. Your tongue was buried deep in her pussy, and her legs were quivering. Natasha's hands moved to her thighs, forcing her to keep her legs open as you sucked her clit into your mouth.
"OH, oh, I'm going to..." She trailed off, her orgasm hitting her. Her body tensed, her legs trembling. You didn't stop, your tongue flicking over her sensitive nub.
"Mm," Natasha hummed.
Wanda's entire body tensed, and her back arched off the bed. You kept your tongue on her, tasting her orgasm as it flowed out of her.
"Shit," She panted.
"How was that?" You asked, finally pulling away.
"Good," She replied. "Amazing."
"We're not finished yet," Natasha said. "We're just getting started."
"You've been a really good girl," You smiled.
"Yeah?" Wanda asked, still trying to catch her breath.
"Yes," You nodded. "We've been talking about this for a while."
"You have?"
"Yes," Natasha smiled. "And now, you're all ours."
"Yes," Wanda nodded. She reached for you, pulling you to her and tasting herself on your tongue.
"I think she likes it," Natasha smirked.
"Yeah," You nodded.
"Can I touch you?"
"Sure," You shrugged. "Where do you want to touch me?"
"Everywhere," Wanda admitted. "Will you show me how to pleasure her?" She leaned her head onto Natasha's shoulder to see her eyes. The two of you shared a smirk. Wanda assumed that Natasha usually took a more dominant role in the bedroom. If only she'd seen you a couple nights ago, with Natasha begging you to fuck her as you made her come for the second time.
"Start with her neck," Natasha instructed. "And her ears. Those are two of her most sensitive areas."
Wanda followed her instructions. Her lips pressed against your neck, and her teeth grazed your earlobe.
"Mmm," You hummed, tilting your head to the side.
"That's good," Natasha praised.
"Do you want my shirt off?"
"Yes," Wanda nodded.
You reached down, pulling the shirt over your head. The cold air hit your bare skin, causing your arms and chest goosebumps.
"Now her nipples," Natasha murmured, watching Wanda closely.
Wanda nodded, her fingers finding your nipple and pinching it.
"Ooh," You gasped.
"She's more sensitive there than I am," Natasha explained.
"Not true," You moaned.
"Oh, hush," She smirked.
"Keep doing that," You urged as Wanda wrapped her lips around your nipple. You straddled her lap, effectively pinning her to Natasha as you looked into your wife's eyes.
"Look at her," Natasha smirked. "So pretty."
Wanda looked up at you, her lips still wrapped around your nipple. You cupped her cheek, smiling at her.
"Such a good girl," Natasha praised.
Wanda's eyes fluttered closed at the praise, her body melting into yours.
"She's perfect," Natasha murmured, her voice low.
"Mhmm," You agreed, running a hand through Wanda's hair.
Wanda's hands roamed your body, exploring every inch of your skin. She was so curious, so eager, and it made you smile.
"You're so sexy," Wanda said softly when her lips released your nipple with a pop. "Both of you."
"And so are you," Natasha cooed.
"You've got great boobs," Wanda hummed.
"Why thank you," You grinned.
"Do you mind if I kiss her again?"
"Go right ahead," Natasha replied.
Wanda pressed her lips against yours, her hands roaming your back.
"Do you want to touch her more?" Natasha asked.
"I think so," Wanda nodded. "But I don't know where to start."
"Just explore," Natasha replied.
Wanda's hands explored your body, her fingers tracing patterns along your skin.
"That's so good," You breathed.
"She's so responsive," Wanda smiled.
"Yeah, she is," Natasha agreed.
Wanda's fingers trailed down your stomach, her hand slipping into your pants. Her fingers found your pussy, sliding along the wetness.
"Oh, god," You moaned, your hips bucking forward.
"Does that feel good?" Wanda asked.
"Yes," You moaned.
Wanda's fingers moved up and down, sliding easily along your pussy. This was her first time touching another woman. She wanted to see and feel everything.
"Fuck," You breathed, your hips bucking.
"So wet," Wanda purred.
"Yeah, that's what happens when someone has you as a lover," Natasha said, her voice dripping with lust.
"Right there," You sighed as Wanda's fingers clumsily found your clit.
"Here?"
"Y-yeah," You moaned.
Wanda's fingers worked your clit, her pace quickening.
"Mm," Natasha hummed.
"F-fuck," You whimpered, your hips jerking.
"Good girl," Natasha purred.
Wanda continued her ministrations, her fingers rubbing your clit.
"O-oh," You moaned.
"That's it," Natasha encouraged.
Your thighs began to tremble, your orgasm building.
"C-close," You stammered.
"Come for her," Natasha said.
"Fuck, yes," Wanda growled.
"OH," You moaned, your body tensing as your orgasm washed over you. Wanda's fingers continued to work, her pace unrelenting.
"Fuck," You breathed, your hips grinding against her.
"That's a good girl," Natasha said softly.
"Damn," Wanda smiled.
"That was really good," You said, taking a moment to breathe.
"It was," Wanda nodded. She helped you pull the sticky underwear and sweatpants from your body.
"How much can you take?" You asked Wanda.
"What do you mean?"
"Do you want Natasha to fuck you? Or do you want me to fuck you?"
"I don't know," Wanda admitted. "You choose."
"Hmm," You chuckled to yourself. You reached over to your nightstand, grabbed one of your favorite straps, and tossed it to Natasha. "She needs you."
"Is that so?" Natasha grinned, holding the strap-on.
"Yes," Wanda nodded, looking up at the redhead.
"How badly do you want it?" Natasha teased.
"I want it," Wanda answered, her voice shaky.
"Are you scared?"
"A little," Wanda admitted.
"We have you," You reassured her. Natasha removed herself from the bed to adjust the strap. It wasn't too big. Six and a half inches. It was perfect. She returned to the bed and kneeled between Wanda's thighs.
"We'll go slow," Natasha promised.
"Okay," Wanda nodded, taking a deep breath.
Natasha's hand slipped between her legs, testing her readiness.
"Fuck," Wanda gasped.
"That's good," Natasha smirked, pulling her hand back. "Ready?"
"Y-yes," Wanda said, nodding.
Natasha lined the dildo up with her pussy and pushed it in, her hands on either side of her hips.
"Oh, God," Wanda moaned, her eyes squeezing shut.
"How does it feel?"
"Good," Wanda whimpered.
"Just breathe, honey," Natasha cooed. From beside them, you offered moral support. You knew this feeling, and it was a good feeling.
"Fuck, it's a lot," Wanda panted.
"Do you need a minute?"
"No, keep going," Wanda urged.
Natasha obliged, pushing further into her.
"Oh, God," Wanda moaned.
"Good girl," Natasha murmured. Your eyes zeroed in on the strap pushing into Wanda's tight hole.
"Fuck," Wanda whined, her hips squirming.
"You're doing great," You praised.
"I know," Wanda groaned, her cheeks turning pink.
Natasha bottomed out, her hips flush against Wanda's.
"There we go," Natasha hummed.
"Oh," Wanda moaned, her body adjusting to the strap. Her clit brushed against Natasha's pelvis.
"That's better," Natasha smiled.
"Feels... different," Wanda admitted.
"Good or bad?"
"Just... different."
"You'll get used to it," You reassured her.
"Is that what it's like for you?" Wanda asked, looking at you.
"Sort of," You nodded. "But I usually have something inside me, too."
"Can I touch you again?" Wanda asked.
"Of course," You replied, spreading your legs.
Wanda reached over, her fingers finding your clit and rubbing slow circles around it.
"Mmm," You moaned.
"You have a pretty pussy," Wanda cooed.
"Thank you," You blushed.
"Do you mind if I taste it?"
"No, I don't mind," You shook your head. You knew the implications of what she was asking and obliged. In one swift move, you were straddling Wanda's head. She used one hand to wrap around your thigh and the other to dig into Natasha's back as the other woman thrust into her.
"Ooh," Wanda gasped as Natasha's hips met hers.
"Mm, fuck," You whimpered as her tongue lapped at your pussy.
"Tastes good," She muttered.
"You're so good," Natasha purred, her fingers digging into Wanda's hips.
Wanda moaned against your pussy, the vibrations sending shivers through your body.
"O-oh," You gasped.
Wanda's tongue flicked over your clit, her lips wrapping around it. You did the same to her earlier, and it drove her wild. She figured the same would be for you.
"Holy shit," You breathed, your hips grinding against her.
"Fuck, I can't," Natasha whined, her hips snapping.
"You're doing so good," You encouraged.
"Mm-hmm," Wanda mumbled, her tongue licking up your slit. If someone were to walk in right now, they'd either be horrified or incredibly turned on. The sound of the bed creaking against the floor and your mingled moans were the only things that could be heard.
"You're doing amazing, baby," Natasha praised, her hips moving faster and harder.
"You're going to make us both come," You groaned.
Wanda whimpered beneath you. She'd never experienced something as euphoric as this moment. Even if her neck strained and he tongue was tired, she was not giving up. She felt the delicious ache of the strap filling hr, and your arousal coated her tongue.
"Oh, god," You moaned, your thighs trembling.
"Fuck," Natasha growled, her hips thrusting.
Wanda's hands dug into your thighs, her nails leaving small crescent marks.
"I-I'm gonna," You stammered.
"Do it," Wanda murmured, her lips moving against your pussy. You came, reaching out to the headboard to hold you up as you thrust against her tongue. You tried to be mindful of the fact that she could suffocate, but Wanda only locked in more. She pulled you down, sucking gently on your clit, prolonging your orgasm. Not too shortly after, she was thrown into her own unexpected orgasm as Natasha thrust harder.
"F-fuck," Natasha grunted.
"Holy shit," Wanda whimpered, her hips bucking.
Natasha's hips jerked, her grip tightening.
"Shit," You swore.
"FUCK!" Wanda moaned, her legs trembling.
Natasha's body tensed, her thighs shaking.
"Oh, God," She groaned.
"Oh my," You breathed.
Wanda let out a shaky moan, her body writhing beneath yours.
"Wow," She whispered.
"You're doing amazing," You panted, climbing off her head.
"That was incredible," Natasha breathed, slowly pulling the strap out of Wanda's pussy.
"Thank you," Wanda smiled, her chest heaving.
"You're such a good girl," Natasha smiled.
"You are," You nodded. "I can't believe that was your first time."
"Really?" Wanda asked.
"Absolutely," Natasha replied.
"Well, I guess it was worth the wait."
"I'm sure," You laughed, crawling into the middle of the bed.
"Do you need anything, babe?" Natasha asked.
"Maybe a glass of water," You smirked.
"Okay," Natasha nodded. She kissed you and then kissed Wanda.
"You're going to stay, right?"
"If you want me to," Wanda smiled.
"We'd love for you to," You grinned.
"Then, yes," She nodded.
"Good," You smiled, kissing her gently.
"We're keeping her," Natasha said as she walked out of the room.
"Definitely," You grinned. "Can you go again?" You asked her as your hands trailed across her body.
"Y-yes," Wanda answered, her eyes fluttering closed.
"Good," You hummed, nuzzling your face in her neck.
"That was... wow," Wanda breathed.
"It was," You nodded, pressing soft kisses against her neck.
"I never thought I'd actually have sex with someone, let alone two people," She said.
"You haven't really dated before?"
"No," Wanda replied, shaking her head.
"We've known each other for a long time," You noted. "This feels natural."
"It does," Wanda agreed.
"It's like you're part of our little family already."
"I think so," She smiled.
"I'm glad you feel that way."
337 notes · View notes
peppermintquartz · 3 days ago
Note
Internet hug because this kind of sucks! If you would like:
Buck doesn't let Tommy just break up with him without a fight and they have an actual discussion about why Tommy can't be Buck's first And his last.
Buck remains frozen in his chair until the door clicks shut, at which he leaps up and yanks it open.
The force which he uses must have surprised Tommy, who is just a few steps away in the corridor.
"Don't you dare leave," Buck snaps out and grabs the older man's wrist. His vehemence catches Tommy off guard too, it seems, because Tommy lets him drag them back inside the loft without any resistance.
Once they're inside, Buck shuts and leans his back against the front door.
"Buck-"
"Evan! I am Evan to you," Buck corrects. His voice is frantic, nearly angry. Good. He is caught between fury and desperation anyway. "And you don't get to tell me how I may feel in the future. Like I can't tell you how you may feel in the future." He gulps. "We're first responders, Tommy. We may die on our next shifts. Can you predict that? Or maybe, maybe you get in your truck, and the next thing you know, some idiot SUV crashes into you. Or this building collapses."
Tommy makes an abortive motion to move forward but stops. "Buck-"
"Call me that again and I will hit you, I swear to God," Buck snarls. He's fighting back tears. "You know why I let you call me Evan."
"Because that's how you introduced yourself to me," Tommy said quietly.
Buck takes three strides forward and grabs Tommy by his shirt to pull him close. "Because I love you!"
It's the first time he's said it.
It feels right. It feels like fire and it feels like comfort and it feels like home.
"I, Evan Buckley, love you, Tommy Kinard, and I want this relationship with you to be my forever," he declares, staring right into Tommy's storm-blue eyes. When Tommy averts his gaze, Buck cups his cheek and makes direct eye contact again. "What are you really afraid of, Tommy? Because I know that your breaking up with me isn't because you're afraid of breaking your heart." He swallows, his throat already in pain. "Because your heart is breaking right now, and mine as well."
Tears are racing down both their faces. Tommy licks his lips and shudders as he bows his head. "I'm sorry. It's just... I told myself, I was moving at your pace, and I really thought I was ready, but now, it's so fast, and I'm not sure I can be what you want, Evan. I don't know if I can be what you want, and I don't want to fall short and be told I'm not good enough, not again-"
Buck kisses Tommy quiet. It feels exactly as it should. Like this is what their lips are made for.
"Thomas Kinard," Buck whispers, "you silly, stupid, self-sabotaging man."
"Evan..."
Leaning his forehead against Tommy's, Buck continues, "You worry you're not enough? I worry I'm too much. Don't you see? We're meant for each other. We complement each other, Tommy, in our strengths and our flaws, and you're enough for me, okay? You're who I want. You are who I need. You are. You take care of me the way I need to be, you let me be who I am, late night research and curses and eulogies to a dead dude and everything, and I honestly forgot where I was going with that, except that I don't want you to walk out of my life just because some voice in your head tells you a lie."
He stops talking. He's still cupping Tommy's face, still breathing his air.
Tommy nudges his nose against Buck's. "You really want me?" His voice is small, nervous.
"Yes, you idiot. Which part of 'I love you' are you not hearing? I love you, I am in love with you."
Another tremble shake through Tommy's frame, and he places his hands on Buck's waist. "I love you, Evan. I'm in love with you." He sniffles, and then chuckles damply. "God. We're both so snotty and gross right now."
"And whose fault is that?" Buck teases, his voice nasal and his throat sore. He slides his hands down, face to jaw to neck to broad shoulders. "You don't have to move in. But stay, okay? I need you to stay. To choose me. Not the lying liar in your brain."
"I'll stay. I'll stay until-"
"There is no until." Buck is adamant. "It's you, Tommy."
Tommy nods, smiling, and then huffs a short laugh. "Actually, you should move in with me. I have way more space than you, and a car lift and a Muay Thai setup. Eddie will kill me if I give all that up for this place."
"Can't have Eddie killing the man I love now." Buck brushes his nose along the side of Tommy's. "Okay. I'll move in with you."
Tommy kisses him, this time lingering, an unspoken question. Buck smiles into the kiss, and leads Tommy up the stairs to the bed.
292 notes · View notes
zyafics-recs · 2 days ago
Note
reblogging comment review from @zyafics
SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO REBLOG, I WAS PACKING TO MOVE 🙂‍↕️ always these r my comments on my first AND SECOND read through because im actually obsessed with them ⬇️
also the two songs i've been playing on repeat for this fic is everytime by ariana grande and y.d.l.r by tory lanez. take from that as u will 😌
Hockey and, well, the fact that you hadn’t missed a game since… well, since Rafe and you broke up.
i cannot tell u how giggly i am rn
God, why did he always have to look so fucking good? His broad shoulders filling out his number 17 jersey, that stupid confident smirk as he skated out with the rest of the team. His dark blonde hair peeked out from under his helmet He was captain this year, and it made sense—he’d been working his ass off since…ever. You couldn’t think of anyone more deserving than him. 
i love this so MUCH SO SO SO MUCH
You knew better than to be here, yet somehow you ended up courtside anyway. Probably because you’d never let him run you out of your favorite game. Not even if he was captain now. This was your team, the one you’d been coming to see since before Rafe even knew what a slapshot was.
i unfortunately do not know what a slapshot is
You sank further into Elijah’s side, forcing your eyes away from your ex. But it wasn’t until you caught the dark blue of the jersey you were wearing in the corner of your eye that you realized… You’d put on Rafe’s jersey. 
YOU TOOK MY IDEA AHHHH 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️
You followed his gaze, heart dropping. They were zooming in on the two of you. You could feel the crowd around you start to cheer and whistle as Elijah leaned in closer, clearly getting ready to kiss you.
ohmygodohmygodohmygodddd
Bang!In the span of a second, a body slammed into the boards right in front you, the sound so loud it made you jump. The entire section gasped, and you turned your head just in time to see Rafe standing there, glaring up at you from behind the glass. His eyes were locked on you, jaw clenched.
As he FUCKING SHOULD I AM LITERALLY ON THE EDGE OF MY SEATTT
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That was what had your pulse racing. You could barely focus on Elijah anymore. The way he laughed, oblivious, made your stomach churn because Rafe—Rafe—was staring like he owned you. He always had this way of making you feel like no matter what, no matter who else was around, you were his. 
choose me love me fuck me (who said that)
Then, still staring at you, he mouthed the words, "I dare you."
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When the kiss ended, you forced a smile at Elijah, but your mind was a mess. Rafe’s eyes were still on you, and you could practically feel anger radiating off him, even through the thick glass.
his jealousy is RADIATING and i’m eating all of it up
“Bullshit,” he growled, leaning in closer, so close you could feel the heat radiating off his body. “You knew exactly what you were doing. Bringing a date with you. Do you want me to kill someone?"
sometimes yes pls prove how obsessed u r w me
“I hate you,” you muttered. It was a weak defense, and you both knew it.
my favorite part of hate sex when they r LIARS
Rafe leaned in, lips brushing against your ear. “Yeah?” His voice was a low rasp that made your knees weak. “Funny, you never sound like you hate me when you’re under me.”
HES SUCH A DICK
His tongue slipped past your lips, and you bit down, hard, just to remind him you weren’t going to make this easy. He groaned, low and rough, pulling back just enough to look at you, his gaze dark. "You always did like it rough."
OH I FUCKING LOVE HERRR
But he wasn’t having it. His grip tightened, his mouth capturing yours again in a kiss so raw, it was borderline filthy. And that was it. Your last piece of control vanished, and you were lost in him all over again.
HE DOESNT EVEN LET HER ANSWER why is this so hotttt
Rafe just laughed, “No, you don’t,” he growled, his hands grabbing your hips as he settled you onto one of the locker room benches. “But keep telling yourself that.”
i’m so quiet bc i’m so into this 🫣🫣🫣🫣
“You’re mine,” Rafe growled, his voice rough as he thrust into you, each movement deep and brutal.“Doesn’t matter who you’re with, doesn’t matter how much you try to deny it—you’ll always come back to me.”
ONE FUCKING CHANCE
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He pulled out suddenly, and before you could catch your breath, he yanked you up, turning you around. You barely had time to register what was happening before he lifted you up, your legs wrapping around his waist as he pressed you against the cold locker. His cock was back inside you in seconds, filling you again, and you moaned, the new angle sending jolts of pleasure through your already overstimulated pussy.
he’s INSATIABLE
“Go back to your date,” Rafe continued, his voice mocking now, “Pretend like he’s enough for you.”
YKW FUCK U I WILL
He knew it too. "I never wanted to lose you," he admitted quietly.You swallowed hard, your chest tight. "You already did."
so u give me earth-shattering smut and emotional angst? screw u
💌 i am absolutely enamored by the way u wrote their tension, how rafe fucking banged against the plexiglass and DARES her ohmygod i melted in a fucking puddle. ur smut was absolutely hot scorning riveting AND I WAS SO SURPRISED BY THIS MANS STAMINA LIKE CAN WE CATCH A BREATHE ugh ☺️💘 u did my req so much justice n gave me sm inspo i must write now
ex!reader who loves the game and wants to support her team but hockey captain!rafe is on the ice. he thinks she’s there for him but when she comes in with a date? and when they get put on the kiss cam? rafe slams into the glass to scare them? hate sex????
someone who lets you break them twice - hockey!toxic!rafe x ex!reader (+18)
warnings: veryyy long and 99% smut🙂‍↕️ the things i do for you...
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The cold air inside the rink always made your skin tingle. Your breath curled in front of you like smoke as you moved uncomfortably on the bleachers, pulling your jacket tighter around you. This is why you hated fall. It was too cold to be outside, too early to be winter. But tonight wasn’t about the weather—it was about hockey.
Hockey and, well, the fact that you hadn’t missed a game since… well, since Rafe and you broke up.
“Everything okay?” The voice beside you pulled you back to reality.
Elijah, the guy you’d been seeing for the past couple of weeks, smiled at you, oblivious to the bullshit taking over your mind, and you gave him your best smile back.
“Yeah, just cold,” you said, trying to focus. You weren’t here for Rafe, not anymore. You loved hockey. You loved watching the boys skate across the ice, their power and grace.
Or at least that was what you kept telling yourself.
Elijah wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer to him, and you leaned in, feeling his warmth. The game was just about to start, and the arena lights dimmed slightly, casting shadows over the rink. The roar of the crowd drowned your thoughts for a moment as the players took the ice.
And then, as if the universe was personally trying to screw with you, you saw him.
Rafe.
Of course, he looked good.
God, why did he always have to look so fucking good? His broad shoulders filling out his number 17 jersey, that stupid confident smirk as he skated out with the rest of the team. His dark blonde hair peeked out from under his helmet He was captain this year, and it made sense—he’d been working his ass off since…ever. You couldn’t think of anyone more deserving than him. 
He always had to be in charge, on and off the ice.
He still had that same cocky swagger that made you wanna scream… for entirely different reasons now.
You knew better than to be here, yet somehow you ended up courtside anyway. Probably because you’d never let him run you out of your favorite game. Not even if he was captain now. This was your team, the one you’d been coming to see since before Rafe even knew what a slapshot was.
You sank further into Elijah’s side, forcing your eyes away from your ex. But it wasn’t until you caught the dark blue of the jersey you were wearing in the corner of your eye that you realized… You’d put on Rafe’s jersey. 
His number. The one you’d always worn to support him when you were together. Out of all the team merch you owned, of course you had to wear his.
“You really like hockey a lot, huh?” Elijah asked, glancing down at your jersey.
“Yeah,” You mumbled, feeling your cheeks heat up. “I’ve been following the team for a while.”
Lies. You loved hockey, sure. But you loved Rafe a little more. Or, you used to. Or, well, maybe that was still complicated.
The puck dropped, and the game started. For a while, you tried to focus on the action. Rafe was all over the ice, playing like the goddamn superstar he thought he was. You couldn’t help but notice how his gaze kept darting up toward the stands, like he knew you were there. And maybe he did
Halfway through the second period, he slammed into an opposing player, sending him crashing into the boards. The sound echoed through the arena, and the crowd went wild, but you could feel your stomach knotting up. That had always been Rafe—intense, aggressive, unable to hold back. On the ice or off.
You tried to focus on Elijah, laughing at something he was saying, but your heart wasn’t in it. And then, just when you thought you’d survived the worst of it, the kiss cam flashed up on the big screen. Your laughter died in your throat as you realized what was happening, your face heating up instantly. You weren’t exactly embarrassed, but this was... awkward. 
“Aw, how cute,” He said, grinning as he pointed to the screen.
You followed his gaze, heart dropping. They were zooming in on the two of you. You could feel the crowd around you start to cheer and whistle as Elijah leaned in closer, clearly getting ready to kiss you.
You could see him coming toward you, could see his lips getting closer, but all you could think about was—
Bang!
In the span of a second, a body slammed into the boards right in front you, the sound so loud it made you jump. The entire section gasped, and you turned your head just in time to see Rafe standing there, glaring up at you from behind the glass. His eyes were locked on you, jaw clenched.
He looked like he was ready to tear Elijah apart, or you, or both of you. His chest was heaving, eyes blazing, standing mere inches away from where you sat. He had skated right into the glass.
Your heart was practically in your throat, and it wasn't from Elijah being close. The look on Rafe’s face as he stood on the other side of the glass?
That was what had your pulse racing. You could barely focus on Elijah anymore. The way he laughed, oblivious, made your stomach churn because Rafe—Rafe—was staring like he owned you. He always had this way of making you feel like no matter what, no matter who else was around, you were his. 
And you hated that you still kind of liked it.
Then, still staring at you, he mouthed the words, "I dare you."
Why couldn’t he just leave you alone?
Those stupid words. Silently mouthed, but somehow loud enough to hit you like a punch through the glass. I dare you. God, what was wrong with him? He knew exactly how to push your buttons. And of course, it was working. He wasn’t just playing hockey—he was playing with you.
You could feel Elijah shifting next to you, still oblivious to the whole freaking drama unfolding right in front of him.
He was so sweet, too sweet, and it was almost infuriating right now because Rafe was standing there, with his stupid intense eyes, all but daring you to move on. Why did he have to look at you like that—like he knew you were still his.
The breakup had been brutal, the kind of messy, loud explosion where neither of you were willing to be the first to walk away. You were both too stubborn, too prideful. And now here you were, months later, still dealing with the fallout. 
Elijah finally leaned in, lips brushing yours, and you kissed him, but your heart wasn’t in it. All you could feel was Rafe’s stare burning into you. The kiss cam lingered for a few seconds, and the crowd cheered, but all you felt was... empty.
When the kiss ended, you forced a smile at Elijah, but your mind was a mess. Rafe’s eyes were still on you, and you could practically feel anger radiating off him, even through the thick glass.
You glanced down, avoiding his gaze, and tugged at the hem of his old jersey, suddenly feeling like you didn’t belong in it anymore. You leaned into Elijah, mostly out of spite at this point. You could practically hear Rafe’s teeth grinding from across the glass. Good. If he thought he could just walk around, acting like he owned the place—and you—then he deserved to stew in it a little.
But, of course, he wasn’t the kind of guy to just let something like that go. You watched as he skated back into play, but his eyes kept flicking up to where you sat, like he couldn’t stop checking to make sure you were still there. Still with Elijah. His shoulders were tense, movements a little too aggressive, like he was about to snap.
You tried to focus on the game again, but your mind kept drifting back to him. You hated this. You hated that he could still make you feel this way, even now, after everything.
After the fights, after the breakup, after swearing you were over him. Why was it so hard to let him go?
The third period started, and Rafe was everywhere, throwing his weight around like he had something to prove. And maybe he did. Every hit was harder, every pass sharper. It was like he was playing angry. And you couldn’t help but feel a little satisfied, knowing you’d gotten under his skin.
But then, with less than five minutes left in the game, things escalated. He slammed into one of the opposing players so hard that the guy went down, and the whistle blew immediately. The crowd was roaring, but Rafe didn’t back off. He stood over the guy, glaring down at him like he was ready to throw a punch.
"Jesus," Elijah muttered beside you. "What the hell’s his problem?"
You didn’t answer. You knew exactly what his problem was.
The ref skated over, shouting something at Rafe, but his eyes weren’t on the ref. They were still on you, even as the other guy on the ice slowly got back to his feet. The arena was buzzing, the crowd getting rowdy, and for a second, you thought Rafe was going to lose it right there. His fists clenched, jaw set—he looked like he was ready to drop gloves and start swinging.
And then he smirked.
It was that same cocky smirk you knew so well, the one he always flashed right before doing something reckless. The ref sent him to the penalty box, and he skated off, still with that fucking look plastered on his face. Your heart was racing, your body tense. Elijah had leaned back in his seat, totally unaware about everything.
“Man, that guy’s intense,” Elijah said, shaking his head, eyes still on the ice.
You didn’t answer. Intense didn’t even begin to cover it.
Rafe was sitting in the penalty box now, helmet off, running a hand through his hair like he didn’t just about murder a guy on the ice. You could feel his eyes on you, even from all the way across the rink. You hated it. You hated that he could still get to you like this.
The last few minutes of the game passed in an instant. You weren’t really paying attention anymore, not to the score, not to the plays. You were too busy trying not to think about Rafe, about the way he had looked at you. About the way it had made you feel.
When the final buzzer sounded, the crowd erupted in cheers. Elijah stood up, stretching, turning to you with a smile.
“Ready to head out?” he asked.
You nodded, forcing a smile. “Yeah, let’s go.”
As you made your way toward the exit, weaving through the crowd, you could feel the tension building in your chest. It wasn’t over. It never really was with Rafe.
And you knew—somehow—you weren’t getting out of here without seeing him again.
You reached the bottom of the stands, where a crowd had gathered near the exit. Elijah was still chatting about the game, still clueless. But you were distracted, scanning the crowd without even realizing it.
And then you saw him. Of course, you did.
Rafe was leaning against the wall, still in his gear, helmet tucked under his arm. His eyes locked on yours the second you stepped into his line of sight. He didn’t even pretend to care about the people around him—his gaze was dark, intense, like a predator waiting for its moment.
You hated how your heart skipped.
Elijah noticed you freeze and followed your gaze, his smile faltering when he saw Rafe standing there.
"Isn’t that the captain guy?" he asked, glancing between you and Rafe, confused.
You swallowed hard, forcing your feet to keep moving. “Yeah. That’s him.”
As you passed by, Rafe pushed off the wall, stepping right into your path. Elijah, sweet, unsuspecting Elijah, paused beside you.
"Leaving already?" Rafe’s voice was low, casual, but his eyes were locked on yours, ignoring Elijah completely. "Didn’t even stick around to congratulate the team?"
You clenched your jaw, fighting to keep your cool. "It’s late, Rafe. We’re heading out."
But he wasn’t letting you off that easy. He took a step closer, his towering frame making Elijah shift uncomfortably. "You didn’t used to leave so soon," he said, voice dripping with that familiar cockiness. "Used to be the last one out."
Because you’d always let him fuck you in the locker room.
Elijah cleared his throat, trying to stand his ground. "Uh, yeah, we’ve got plans after this."
Rafe’s eyes flicked to him for the briefest second, before landing back on you.
"Plans, huh?"
Your pulse was hammering, and you could feel the heat rising in your cheeks. Why did he always have to do this—why couldn’t he just let you go?
“Rafe, we’re done,” you said through gritted teeth, trying to hold on to the last shred of your composure. “You don’t get to pull this shit anymore.”
He glanced at Elijah briefly, his gaze cold and dismissive, then back at you. “You sure about that?” he asked, “Because it doesn’t look like it.”
You clenched your fists, nails biting into your palms as you tried to calm yourself. You didn’t need this right now. Not with Elijah here. Not after everything.
“Let’s go Elijah,” you said, tugging at Elijah’s arm, desperate to get out of there before things escalated. But Rafe wasn’t having it.
He stepped in front of you again, blocking your path like he had some kind of claim on you. And God, the worst part was—you weren’t sure he was wrong.
You glanced at Elijah, who was staring at the two of you like he had walked into the middle of a conversation he couldn’t quite follow. “Look, dude,” he started, awkwardly laughing, “I don’t know what this is, but—”
“It’s nothing,” you cut him off quickly, your voice tight. “Let’s just go.”
But Rafe wasn’t about to let it go. 
“Yeah, Elijah,” His voice dripped with sarcasm. “It’s nothing.” His eyes flicked to you, dark and daring, and before you could stop yourself, you met his gaze with the same fire.
Elijah’s phone buzzed, and he pulled it out, frowning.
“Shit,” he muttered, distracted. “I’ve gotta take this call real quick. Give me a sec?” He stepped away, leaving you and Rafe standing there in the middle of the hallway, your body practically vibrating.
He was on you in an instant, grabbing your wrist and pulling you toward the locker room door. 
“Rafe, what the fuck—” you hissed, but he wasn’t letting go.
You tried to resist, but something inside you broke down—the anger, the unresolved pull between you two. And maybe it was the way he still had that stupid hold on you, the way your body responded when you shouldn’t want it to.
Or maybe it was the fact that you’d never fully closed the door on Rafe.
He shoved the door open, pulling you inside the dimly lit hallway that led to the locker room. The second the door closed, you spun around, shoving him in the chest hard. 
“You’re such a fucking asshole, you know that?”
Rafe barely flinched, his gaze smoldering as he crowded you against the wall. 
“Yeah? You didn’t seem to think so when you were wearing my jersey tonight.”
“That was an accident.”
“Bullshit,” he growled, leaning in closer, so close you could feel the heat radiating off his body. “You knew exactly what you were doing. Bringing a date with you. Do you want me to kill someone?"
Your heart was pounding, and not just because Rafe had you pinned against the wall like he always fucking did— God, why did he have to be so damn close? The scent of his cologne mixed with the sweat from the game, sending your mind spiraling. He was overwhelming, and you hated it. You hated him for still making you feel like this.
“Get off me,” you snapped, but it came out weaker than you intended. The way his blue eyes were boring into yours, like he could see through all your bullshit, wasn’t helping.
Rafe’s smirk didn’t falter. If anything, it grew.
“C’mon, baby, don’t act like this wasn’t what you wanted. You show up, wearin’ my number, sitting there with some random guy like I don’t still own you.” 
He stepped closer, caging you in completely. You pressed your hands against his chest, but it wasn’t like you were really pushing him away. And he knew it.
“You don’t own shit,” you spat, glaring up at him. But even as the words left your mouth, you knew you didn’t believe them. The truth was, part of you had always been his.
Rafe’s lips curved into a smug grin as if he could read every thought running through your head.
“Really? ’Cause from where I’m standin’, you’ve been thinkin’ about me all night.” His breath was hot on your skin, and you hated how much you wanted to close the distance between you.
Your jaw clenched as you tried to muster the strength to tell him to fuck off, to leave you alone, but he was right. As much as you tried to convince yourself otherwise, he was still in your head, under your skin. The way his body hovered over yours—it was like nothing had changed. Like you hadn’t spent the last few months trying to forget him.
His hand found your hip, fingers pressing into your skin through your jeans, and you felt your body betray you. You cursed yourself silently as heat pooled low in your stomach. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, didn’t want him to know how much power he still had. But damn it, he knew. He always fucking knew.
“I hate you,” you muttered. It was a weak defense, and you both knew it.
Rafe leaned in, lips brushing against your ear. “Yeah?” His voice was a low rasp that made your knees weak. “Funny, you never sound like you hate me when you’re under me.”
Your breath hitched, and you swallowed hard, trying to ignore the way your pulse quickened.
“Don’t—”
But he was already kissing you, hard and rough like he owned you, like you were his and his alone.
And the worst part? You kissed him back. His hands were on you, grabbing at your waist, pulling you closer until your bodies were pressed together. You wanted to shove him away, to slap that stupid look off his face—but your body had other plans. 
This was so wrong, on so many levels. 
You broke the kiss, gasping for air, but Rafe didn’t back off. He was staring down at you like you were his next meal, like he’d been starving without you.
“This doesn’t mean anything,” you bit out, trying to cling to some sense of control.
Rafe’s grin widened, wicked and knowing. He leaned in again, lips ghosting over yours. “We both know that's a lie.”
You clenched your fists, frustrated beyond belief. Frustrated at him, at yourself, at how easy it was for him to pull you right back in.
“Fuck you,” you hissed, but the breathless tone in your voice told a different story.
Rafe’s eyes darkened, the corner of his mouth lifting in that infuriatingly sexy way he always did.
“Oh, you will.”
And God help you—you knew he was right. That fucking arrogance. It crawled under your skin, set your blood on fire in ways it shouldn’t.
You wanted to punch him, shove him, do something to wipe that smug expression off his face. But instead, you grabbed his shirt, pulling him back toward you, kissing him with all the fury you felt.
His lips crushed against yours, and it wasn’t gentle—there was nothing soft or sweet about this. It was all heat and frustration, months of unresolved anger bursting out in one chaotic, messy kiss.
His tongue slipped past your lips, and you bit down, hard, just to remind him you weren’t going to make this easy. He groaned, low and rough, pulling back just enough to look at you, his gaze dark. "You always did like it rough."
Your fingers tangled in his hair, and you yanked him down, kissing him like you needed to get all of this out of your system. His hands roamed your body, possessive, rough, and you hated how much you craved him, like you were still his.
You weren’t his. You couldn’t be.
But every heated breath you took, every desperate movement your body made, was telling you otherwise.
When his lips moved down your neck, teeth grazing your skin, you gasped, tilting your head back as your resolve crumbled to pieces. He knew exactly what to do, how to make you fall apart, and it pissed you off that he still had that power.
His hands gripped your thighs, lifting you with ease, pressing you harder against the wall. Your breath hitched, the cold tile behind you making you gasp. His mouth was on you, hot and demanding, and for a moment, it was like nothing else mattered.
Not Elijah, not the fact that this was so damn wrong, not the months of hurt and anger you’d been holding onto.
There was only Rafe. The way he touched you, the way he kissed you like he was trying to stake his claim all over again. Like you hadn’t been apart at all.
"Tell me you don’t want this," Rafe muttered against your lips.
You bit down on your lip, trying to stop the words from spilling out. You did want this. You hated that you did, but fuck, you couldn’t lie—not to him, not to yourself.
“I—” You choked on the words, eyes meeting his, and for a split second, you thought maybe you’d find some kind of resolve, some way to pull yourself back from him.
But he wasn’t having it. His grip tightened, his mouth capturing yours again in a kiss so raw, it was borderline filthy. And that was it. Your last piece of control vanished, and you were lost in him all over again.
“Fuck,” you gasped, head spinning as his hands explored your body like he had every right to. Like you hadn’t spent months trying to break free of him.
Rafe pulled back just enough to smirk down at you, breathless and flushed. “Yeah, baby. That's what I thought."
His hands gripped your ass hard enough to leave bruises, you let out a frustrated, muffled groan, your fingers still tangled in his hair. It was a lot longer than the last time you’d seen him.
You could feel every inch of his muscle through the thin fabric of your shirt. It was suffocating in the best way, and you hated yourself for how much you wanted it.
How much you wanted him.
“You’re such an ass,” you gasped between kisses, your breath hitching when his mouth moved down to your neck. You felt him grin against your skin, the bastard.
“You say that like it’s supposed to stop you.” His voice was rough, low in your ear, and it sent a shiver down your spine. “But I don’t think it is.”
You were about to fire back, but his hands slid under your shirt, fingers grazing your skin, and whatever you were going to say was swallowed by the heat rushing through you. You hated that he still knew exactly how to get to you—how to pull you apart and leave you helpless against him.
“Rafe, this—” Your words were cut off when he bit down gently on your collarbone, sending a shockwave through your body. You clutched at his shirt.
“This what?” he taunted, pulling back just enough to look at you, his blue eyes intense. “This a mistake? Because I don’t think that’s what your body’s saying.”
You just glared up at him, trying to catch your breath. You hated that he was right. Again.
Always.
“I told you,” you managed to say, though your voice was shaky, “this doesn’t mean anything.”
Rafe’s grip on you tightened, and he leaned in, his lips brushing yours as he whispered, “You’re still here, aren’t you?”
Your heart was racing, and you could feel the heat of his breath on your skin. There was no denying it—you were here, and you weren’t leaving. Not yet.
Maybe not for a while.
And Rafe knew it.
His hands moved lower, fingers grazing the waistband of your jeans, and your breath hitched. This was dangerous territory. You knew that. 
“Last chance,” he murmured, his lips ghosting over yours. “You want me to stop?”
You should’ve said yes. You should���ve shoved him away and walked out of there with what little dignity you had left. But instead, you kissed him again—harder this time, angrier, like you needed to prove something to yourself. And maybe you did.
He yanked your shirt over your head in one rough motion, and you weren’t gentle either, tugging at his jersey until it was off and tossed aside. His hands were everywhere—on your back, in your hair, slipping under the waistband of your jeans, pulling them down with the same reckless urgency you’d been feeling since you laid eyes on him tonight.
“I hate you,” you whispered as your nails dragged down his chest, leaving angry red lines in their wake.
Rafe just laughed, “No, you don’t,” he growled, his hands grabbing your hips as he settled you onto one of the locker room benches. “But keep telling yourself that.”
Your jeans hit the floor, and he wasted no time, his hands gripping your thighs as he positioned himself between your legs, pressing you down on the bench, his body heavy against yours.
Everything was messy, and rushed, like neither of you could get enough. Like you were trying to erase the months of distance, of frustration, in the way you kissed him back, bit his lip, tugged at his hair.
 You hated how much you needed this. 
“Still think this doesn’t mean anything?” Rafe rasped, his voice hoarse as he pressed his forehead against yours, breathless and wild.
You could barely think, let alone speak, but somehow, you managed to gasp out, “Positive.”
Rafe’s mouth moved down your neck, biting and sucking, leaving marks you knew would still be there tomorrow. “You’re such a fucking liar.”
It was wrong, it was toxic, but fuck—there was something about the way he touched you. And body, traitorous and weak, responded like it always had.
You were furious with yourself, with him, with everything, but the anger only made it all hotter, more intense.
His fingers brushed against the seam of your panties, teasing, barely touching you, but doing enough to have you drenched. 
“You’re soaked,” he murmured, almost amused, slipping one finger under the fabric to run along your folds, barely dipping inside before pulling back out, "Was this all for Elijah?"
Sonofabitch.
“Stop talking,” you spat, but your voice was shaky, showing him the way you were falling apart under his touch. Rafe chuckled low in his throat, his finger moving back, this time slipping inside you, deep and slow.
You gasped, your head falling back as he began moving his finger, curling it inside you in just the right way. Your body responded immediately, hips jerking against him, desperate for more, but he took his time. He added another finger, stretching you out as his thumb rubbed slow circles over your clit, making your legs tremble beneath him.
He sped up, his fingers thrusting deeper, faster, hitting that spot inside you that made your mind go blank. “You’ve been wanting this, haven’t you? All those nights pretending you don’t think about me, but look at you now.”
Your nails dug into his shoulders, legs shaking as you felt yourself teetering on the edge, his fingers driving you closer and closer to the orgasm you so desperately needed.
His thumb pressed harder against your clit, sending shocks of pleasure through you. “Tell me how bad you need this.”
“Rafe—” you gasped, your hips bucking wildly against his hand. The tension inside you was coiled so tightly, so close to snapping. You hated him, hated yourself, but the words slipped out anyway. “I need it.”
He groaned, pleased, and that was all it took. He thrust his fingers harder, faster, until your body gave in completely. You hadn’t had a proper orgasm in months. Nothing could get you off properly. Your walls clenched around his fingers the pleasure tore through you. You cried out, your nails leaving half-moon marks in his skin as you trembled beneath him, lost in the sensation.
But he didn’t stop. He slowed down just enough to draw out every last bit of pleasure, his fingers still moving inside you as you rode out the aftershocks. When you finally caught your breath, he pulled his fingers out, his hand moving to cup your jaw, forcing you to look at him.
He shoved his pants down, not bothering to take them off completely, just enough to free himself. Your breath hitched when you felt him against you—hard, hot, and ready—and every rational thought you had left disappeared in that moment. He lined himself up, teasing you just enough to drive you crazy.
Before you could respond, he pushed into you in one hard, deliberate thrust. Your gasp turned into a low, breathless moan as your back arched, your hands gripping his shoulders for something to hold on to. The sensation of him stretching you, filling you, was overwhelming, almost too much, but exactly what you needed.
Rafe didn’t give you time to adjust. He pulled back and slammed into you again, setting a punishing rhythm that left you breathless, gasping for air. 
There was nothing gentle about it, nothing tender.
His hands gripped your hips, fingers digging into your skin as he fucked you like he was trying to remind you who you belonged to.
And you hated how good it felt.
“You’re mine,” Rafe growled, his voice rough as he thrust into you, each movement deep and brutal.“Doesn’t matter who you’re with, doesn’t matter how much you try to deny it—you’ll always come back to me.”
“Shut up,” you hissed, but your body was betraying you as you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper. 
He leaned down, his breath hot against your ear as he whispered, “Tell me you haven’t been thinking about this every night since we ended.”
You couldn’t.
The words were right there, on the tip of your tongue, but instead, a moan escaped your lips as he hit that perfect spot inside you. Your body arched against his, and you cursed yourself for being so weak.
“Fuck,” you gasped, eyes squeezed shut as the pleasure built, every nerve in your body on fire.
“That’s what I thought,” Rafe growled, his pace quickening, the force of his thrusts making the bench creak beneath you.
The sound of the bench, the way his body pressed into yours so perfectly, the heat of his breath against your neck—it all made it impossible to think straight. You should have been disgusted with yourself for letting it get this far, for letting him have this kind of control over you. 
“I fucking hate you,” you managed to gasp out between breaths.
Rafe chuckled, “Yeah? Then why do you sound like that, huh?” His voice was taunting, filled with the arrogance you hated, “This pussy still mine, huh?”
You loved the way he grabbed you like you were his, even though you’d sworn, sworn, you were done with him.
You were still in love, weren’t you? Even after all the shit, all the screaming matches, the nights spent crying because of him. That was the part that pissed you off the most.
Before you knew, his hands were flipping you over so fast your knees hit the bench before you could react.
“Rafe—mmh,” you gasped, but your words died in your throat when he shoved you forward, pressing your chest flat against the cold wood of the bench. You barely had a second to brace yourself before his hands were gripping your ass, spreading you open for him.
He didn’t give you time to catch your breath. He was already dragging the head of his cock through your wetness, teasing, knowing how much you wanted it, even if you wouldn’t say it.
You squirmed, hating how desperate you felt, hating how your body responded to him like this. “Fuck, Rafe, stop teasing—”
“You want more?” he cut you off, voice dark and dripping with arrogance. He slapped your ass, just enough to sting, and you yelped, your back arching instinctively. “You’re gonna have to beg for it.”
"Like hell," you spat back.
He leaned forward, his chest pressing against your back, his mouth right by your ear.
 “You can act tough all you want, but I know how much you want this,” he gritted out, his cock sliding against your folds again, torturously slow. “I know how much you need it.”
Before you could snap back, he thrust into you hard, filling you completely in one brutal stroke. You cried out, hands gripping the edges of the bench, and Rafe didn’t even give you a second to adjust. He pulled out almost all the way before slamming back in, faster this time, deeper.
The angle had you seeing stars. The bench was narrow, forcing your legs closer together, making everything tighter, more intense. You couldn’t stop the way your body responded to him, hips moving back to meet his thrusts even though your mind was screaming at you to get a grip.
His hands gripped the fat of your ass, pulling you back onto his cock with every thrust, and the sound of skin slapping against skin filled the small room, mixing with your moans and his ragged breathing.
“God, you feel so fucking good,” Rafe groaned, his voice low and rough as he thrust into you, each movement hitting that perfect spot inside you, making your legs tremble. “So fucking tight for me.”
He pressed his thumb against your clit, rubbing in slow, deliberate circles that had you on the edge in seconds. You couldn’t stop the moan that ripped from your throat, your hips bucking wildly against him as the pleasure built, higher and higher until you felt like you might break apart.
“You’re close, aren’t you?” He rasped, his voice thick with lust. “I can feel it. Fuck.”
You tried to hold on, tried to keep some control, but it was useless. He knew exactly how to break you.
“I’m gonna come,” you gasped, your voice barely more than a whimper as you felt the pleasure rising fast, threatening to consume you.
“Do it,” Rafe growled, his fingers rubbing harder, faster. “Come for me, baby.”
And you did.
Your orgasm crashed over you so hard your vision blurred, your body shaking as the pleasure tore through you. You cried out, your walls clenching around him, and Rafe groaned, his grip on you tightening as he fucked you through it, relentless, brutal, until your entire body was trembling.
But he wasn’t done.
He pulled out suddenly, and before you could catch your breath, he yanked you up, turning you around. You barely had time to register what was happening before he lifted you up, your legs wrapping around his waist as he pressed you against the cold locker. His cock was back inside you in seconds, filling you again, and you moaned, the new angle sending jolts of pleasure through your already overstimulated pussy.
He pounded into you, his grip on your ass bruising, and you clung to him, nails digging into his broad shoulders as he fucked you against the lockers. The sound of metal creaking under the force of his thrusts only made it hotter, more desperate. You could feel another orgasm building, and you hated him for it—hated how easily he could pull them from you. 
“You’re mine,” he growled, his voice rough as he buried his face in your neck, his teeth scraping against your skin. “You’ll always be mine.”
And you hated that some twisted part of you wanted it to be true.
Your legs tightened around him, pulling him impossibly closer, deeper, as if you couldn’t get enough of him.
And God, you couldn’t.
His grip on your ass was rough, bruising, but it only made you moan louder. You were on the verge again—your body still tingling from the last orgasm, but the way he moved inside you, the way his teeth grazed your neck, it had you spiraling toward another one, faster than you thought possible.
“Look at you,” Rafe groaned, lifting his head just enough to lock eyes with you. His pupils were blown wide with lust, a wild look on his face that sent a thrill down your spine. “Fuck, you love this, don’t you?”
You did. Because no matter how much you hated him, how much you wanted to hate him—there was a part of you that still belonged to him. A part of you that couldn’t walk away.
His lips were everywhere—on your neck, your collarbone, your jaw—and you couldn’t stop the sounds escaping your throat as he kept driving into you.
“Say it,” he growled, “Say you’re mine.”
You bit down on your lip, trying to hold it in, trying to fight back, but every nerve in your body was betraying you. The way his body fit against yours, the way he moved inside you, it was all too much. You were coming again, and you hated it.
He pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes dark and wild. “Say it.”
You wanted to spit in his face. But your body was telling a different story, hips bucking against him, legs tightening around his waist again.
“R-Rafe,” you whimpered, hating how weak you sounded, how desperate.
His smirk was infuriating, but fuck, it was hot.
“That’s what I thought,” he murmured, his pace quickening, each thrust deeper than the last. “You’re mine. Always have been.”
And then he slammed into you one last time, hitting that perfect spot inside you, and the orgasm tore through you, leaving you gasping and trembling in his arms. You cried out, head thrown back against the lockers as your body shook with the force of it, your nails raking down his back.
Rafe groaned, his grip on you tightening as he rode out your orgasm, his movements growing sloppier, more erratic. His forehead pressed against yours, his breath coming in short, ragged gasps.
“Fuck, baby,” he moaned, his hips jerking against yours as he finally let go, his release hitting hard. You felt the warmth of him spill inside you, as he held you against him, buried deep.
The second his breathing slowed and his grip on you loosened, reality came crashing back in. 
What the fuck had you done?
You pushed at his chest, trying to put some space between you, but he wasn’t letting go that easily. His arms stayed wrapped around you, his body pressed against yours like he still had something to prove.
“Get off,�� you muttered, your voice weak, but sharper than before.
He chuckled, that low, arrogant sound that drove you crazy. “That’s not what you were saying five minutes ago.”
You shot him a glare, shoving at his chest again, harder this time. “I’m serious, Rafe. Move.”
Reluctantly, he let go, stepping back just enough for you to slide off the locker and onto shaky legs. You stumbled a bit, and Rafe’s hand shot out to steady you, but you jerked away from him, pulling your jeans back up with shaky hands.
He leaned against the locker, smirking like he hadn’t just torn your world apart all over again. “You’re welcome, by the way.”
You wanted to scream at him, to throw something at his face. But instead, you grabbed your shirt off the floor, yanking it over your head as you tried to steady your breath.
“Good luck finding your date.”
Elijah. You’d come to the game with Elijah.
You shook your head as you zipped up your jeans and ran your fingers through your hair, trying to look somewhat presentable. You avoided looking at him, knowing that if you did, you’d see the smug satisfaction on his face that would only make you feel worse.
He pushed himself off the locker and took a step closer to you. You flinched, stepping back instinctively. “This can’t happen again.”
His smirk slipped for a moment as he looked at you. H e closed the distance between you in two strides, his hand reaching out to grab your wrist, pulling you toward him before you could react, “You’re choosing him?”
You yanked your wrist out of his grip, your heart racing as you forced yourself to take a step back, putting distance between the two of you, “You’re the one who chose yourself.”
His eyes darkened, searching your face, like he couldn’t believe what you’d just said. Maybe he thought he still had you wrapped around his finger.
“You’re the one who walked away,” you added, hating how your voice trembled, “So don’t act like I owe you anything.”
Rafe’s hand hovered like he was about to reach for you again, but he didn’t. “That’s not how I remember it.” 
Your stomach twisted, “I’m not doing this anymore. I can’t—” You glanced at the door, feeling the weight of Elijah waiting for you. The one person who was good for you, who actually wanted to be with you.
But the worst part? You were still thinking about Rafe. Even after everything, you were still here, breathless, a mess because of him.
He took a step closer, his eyes locked on yours, and for a second, you thought he might apologize. Maybe say something real. But Rafe Cameron didn’t do apologies. 
He raised an eyebrow, “Really?” His hand lifted, brushing a strand of hair out of your face in a gesture that was far too intimate, given everything that had just happened. “Then why are you still standing here?”
You flinched, stepping back. Why were you still standing there? You had no good answer, at least not one you were ready to admit.
“Go back to your date,” Rafe continued, his voice mocking now, “Pretend like he’s enough for you.”
You bit the inside of your cheek, trying to keep the tears at bay. You couldn’t give him that satisfaction, not again. “You’re wrong.”
Rafe let out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “I don’t think I am.”
You squeezed your eyes shut, throat tight, trying to push back the tears. This was all wrong. It was always wrong with Rafe, “Stop.”
It sounded like a plea—a plea for him to stop talking, stop looking at you like that, stop making you feel so small and yet so overwhelmed all at once.
Rafe sighed, stepping back just a fraction, and for a second, his gaze lifted. But it wasn’t enough. It never was. “I’m not trying to hurt you,” he said, his voice softer now, like that made a difference.
“You always do,” you shot back, finally meeting his eyes. The truth slipped out before you could stop it, and there it was.
His jaw clenched, "I don’t mean to," he muttered, his voice low. "You know that."
"Does it even matter?" You felt the bitterness rise in your throat, along with something else—something fragile and painful. "You still do it. Whether you mean to or not."
Rafe stayed quiet, and you hated that silence. He didn’t have an answer. He never did, not for this. Your fingers fumbled with the zipper of your jacket, something to keep your hands busy so you wouldn’t look at him, wouldn’t say something you’d regret. But regret was already everywhere, suffocating you both.
“I thought we were past this,” you said finally, barely more than a whisper. “I thought I was past this.” But clearly, you weren’t. Clearly, some part of you was still here, with him, in the wreckage you’d both created.
He ran a hand through his hair, looking frustrated, torn. “It’s not that simple.”
"It should be." Your voice cracked. You hated how much this hurt. How much he could still hurt you.
It wasn’t fair. You weren’t supposed to still care this much. You weren’t supposed to still feel this.
Rafe sighed, taking another step back, giving you space. But it wasn’t the kind of space you wanted. It wasn’t the kind that would make things easier. “I don’t know what you want from me,” he admitted quietly, his eyes searching yours for something he couldn’t find.
You swallowed, the lump in your throat making it hard to breathe. "I don’t want anything from you." 
That was the truth, or at least it was supposed to be. You didn’t want anything he had to offer, not anymore. Not when every time you reached for it, it slipped through your fingers like water, leaving you emptier than before.
But there was still that ache, that feeling between you two, the one that dragged you back here even when you knew better. You wished you could kill it, cut it out of you like some infected part, but it was tangled too deep. And maybe a small part of you didn’t want to.
“You keep saying that,” he murmured, his voice almost tender, like he was seeing right through you. “But you’re still here.”
“I don’t know why,” you whispered, blinking back tears. Fuck, you hated this. Hated how vulnerable you felt, how easily he could unravel you, even now. “I shouldn’t be.”
He didn’t say anything, just stood there, watching you, like he was waiting for you to make the next move. Like he wanted you to figure it out on your own.
But you didn’t know how. You never did when it came to him.
"I’m sorry," he said, and this time, it felt real. There was no arrogance. Just Rafe, standing there, as broken as you felt. "I don’t know how to fix this."
You let out a bitter laugh, wiping at your eyes with the back of your hand. “There’s nothing left to fix, Rafe. We’ve already destroyed it.”
His face twisted, like he didn’t want to believe it. Like he was still holding onto some small piece of hope. "We could—"
"No," you cut him off, shaking your head. "We can’t."
You couldn’t keep doing this. The push and pull, the endless cycle of hurt and apologies that never really fixed anything. You couldn’t keep pretending that something would change, that he would change.
Because you both knew he wouldn’t.
He took a breath, exhaling slowly, and you could see it—the realization sinking in. 
He knew it too. "I never wanted to lose you," he admitted quietly.
You swallowed hard, your chest tight. "You already did."
1K notes · View notes
shanastoryteller · 20 hours ago
Text
Sam seems convinced this is going to work, but Dean’s pretty sure it’s just a load of crap. Bobby’s even more convinced that it’s a whole lot of nothing, although he had admitted that he couldn’t read every symbol that Sam had added to this mess up devil’s trap. That didn’t mean it would work. It just meant that Sam had thrown everything he could think into it.
The real reason that Dean is going along with this, and probably Bobby is too, is because it means that Sam wouldn’t be alone after Dean is dragged to hell. Although standing in the middle of Bobby’s junkyard in a mess of spray paint isn’t exactly how he’d wanted to spend the last hour of his life.
“You really think Lilith is going to show?” he asks. He doesn’t know why she would. She just has to send the hellhounds, who’s howls and yips Dean has been hearing for days. And those things have never been stopped by any sort of devil’s trap.
“Yes,” Sam says, tense, not looking at him.
That’s another thing. For weeks Sam has barely looked at him, barely talked to him. Which sucks, because he’d really wanted to spend the last weeks of his life just looking and talking to and spending time with his brother, but Sam hadn’t been interested in that. At all.
He shares a look with Bobby, who just shrugs, hands tight on his shotgun.
Then the hellhounds come, just like he knew they would, no Lilith in sight. “Sammy,” he says, reaching out for his brother. Not because he thinks he can do anything, but because he wants to touch Sam one last time, one last memory to sustain him through hell.
Sam snaps out his hand and the hellhounds go skittering back, letting out pained yowls.
Dean stares, not understanding. “What did you – wait. You can see them?”
Only he should be able to see them. He’s the one that made the deal.
Sam still won’t look at him, damnit, even as Dean fists his hand in the back of his shirt. Sam's voice is low and pained when he says, “I’m sorry.”
Fear clenches in his gut. But before he do anything, there are demons surrounding the devil’s trap, appearing one by one in Bobby’s junkyard. They’d needed to take down his protections so Lilith could get in, but they hadn’t expected this. Of course she brought a freaking audience.
“Which one of you is Lilith?” he barks out, dragging Sam behind him. He refuses to let the last thing he sees be his brother hurt, or worse.
Dozens of demons stand there, human vessels with pitch black eyes. The hellhounds whimper and slink around them, but don’t seem interested in getting any closer. Dean can’t blame them.
Sam pries his hand off of him, stepping away before Dean can grab onto him again. He leaves the safety of the devil’s trap, which is fucking stupid. Dean’s lunging forward to stop him, but then there’s Bobby’s arm holding him back, face pale with a horror Dean doesn’t understand. He hadn’t looked like that even at Cold Oak, when they’d seen the gates open to hell.
The demons bow.
He blinks, not understanding what he’s seeing.
Sam is standing there in front of them, no protections, and they’re all bowing to him.
Except one.
Ruby is there, stupid red leather jacket and blonde hair and the smirk he hates so much. She walks around the demons up to Sam, who’s face is cold and expressionless. “She’s coming.”
“I know,” he says. “If this doesn’t work, I’m going to kill you.”
“Promise?” she returns. “If this doesn’t work, death will be a mercy.”
Dean tries to push Bobby off of him, to get in between Sam and this bitch, but he doesn’t let go.
Then there’s a little girl in a white dress, head tilted to the side. “Something here belongs to me.”
Ruby flinches, stepping just slightly behind Sam.
“Not you,” she sneers. “You haven’t belonged to me in a long time, I fear. You really think that this boy can save you?”
“Sam,” Ruby says.
He sighs, like this is a trial, and raises his hand.
Lilith’s sneer drops from her face. Her upper body yanks forward, but her legs won't move. “You bastard,” she snarls, raising her hand in return, but nothing happens.
For the first time, fear flickers across her face.
Ruby steps forward, her own terror swallowed up by arrogance, by delight.
Dean tries to move, but finds he’s just as frozen as Lilith, even more so. He can’t twitch a single muscle. Going by Bobby’s unnatural stillness next to him, he assumes he’s in the same boat.
“Samuel is the heir of the light bringer,” Ruby says. “He has taken his birthright. You can’t touch him.”
What’s she talking about? What birthright?
What has Sam done?
“No,” Lilith snarls. “He’s nothing more than one of Azazel’s experiments.”
“A night, a full day, and then morning,” Ruby says. “That’s what he was. Then he rose on the third day.” She shoots a mocking look his way. “If it weren’t for his brother, he would have died nothing more than a failed experiment. But he has risen.”
No. What does that mean? What’s she saying? He had just wanted Sammy back.
Did he do this? Is this his fault?
“Ruby,” Sam says, a note of warning in his voice.
“Right, right,” she sighs. Then, back to gleeful, “Her eyes.”
Sam’s finger twitches and Lilith’s eyes bleed black tears.
She screams, the sound even worse because her vessel is a child.
Ruby lists thing after thing, pulling out her fingernails, peeling her skin. Her blood is black, none of it red, and the injuries shouldn’t really be hurting her but they clearly are. Dean watches helplessly as Sam tortures Lilith at Ruby’s command, enacting one terrible thing against her after another.
Lilith lies there, moaning, limbs broken, body in pieces.
“That’s enough,” Sam says.
“Enough?” Ruby hisses, turning to face him. “You know what she did to me! She – she–”
Sam’s stoic mask breaks, creasing in sympathy. Dean would prefer it wasn’t for a demon, for Ruby, but at least he now recognizes his brother. He raises his free hand to her head, his touch an oddly gentle counterpoint to everything he’s done to Lilith. “I know. But it’s enough.”
Tears glint in her eyes, just for a second, then she swallows and nods, stepping away from Sam’s hand.
He steps forward, crouching in front of Lilith. “You shouldn’t have come after my brother. Now we both have to live with the consequences.” His mouth twists. "So to speak."
Whatever she would have said in response is lost in her screams. Black smoke pours from her, then lights up, like a spark in steel wool, the fire moving through her reminding him almost of the Colt.
Lilith dies. Sam kills her, no Colt, no devil’s trap. Nothing but his own terrifying powers.
“Will you bow to me now?” he asks.
Ruby tears her eyes from Lilith’s corpse and her irritating fucking smirk slides back into place. “Now?” She steps closer, tilting her head back almost like she’s about to kiss him, then falls gracefully to her knees in front of him. It looks more like she’s about to give him a blowjob than a form of subservience, but he thinks that for a moment Sam almost seems amused. “I bowed to you first.”
“So you did,” he says softly. He raises his voice. “Move out. Casey. You know your job.”
“Yes, sire,” says one of the demons, voice almost familiar.
Then Sam’s walking away, Ruby just a step behind him. The other demons follow suit, the hellhounds not even glancing at Dean as they get caught up in the procession.
Sam still won’t look at him. He only sees the back of his brother’s head as he leaves him behind
The only demon left is Casey. He knows her, he recognizes her, the demon he’d been trapped with in that city full of sin, the one that Sam had shot and killed. He’d seen him kill her.
She gets to her feet, offering him a smile as she draws closer. “Hello, Dean. I bet you never thought you’d see me again.”
She steps right into the devil’s trap and presses a hand to him and Bobby each. As soon as she touches them, they’re able to move, darting away from her and leaving her stuck in the devil’s trap.
“What the hell was that?” he asks, wishing his voice wasn’t shaking, but he has more important things to worry about.
She turns to face them. “Samuel does not want you to die. He did what he had to do to ensure you wouldn’t.”
“The fuck you talking about?” Bobby asks gruffly.
“I told you back then I was ready to follow Sam,” she says, stepping out of the devil’s trap like it’s nothing, which she definitely shouldn’t be able to do. Bobby hadn't thought that this thing would be able to contain Lilith, but Casey’s nowhere near Lilith’s level. It should work on her just fine.
Bobby’s hand darts out, throwing holy water over her, but it doesn’t so much as steam.
She just looks amused. “That won’t work on me now. Neither will an exorcism, or any of the usual tricks. I have been purified.” She holds out her hand to Dean and it’s the Colt, the one that they’d lost when Bela sold it. “This is the only thing that will kill me now.”
“And you’re just handing it over?” Dean asks.
“I have my orders,” she says steadily. “Samuel wants you to have it.”
His entire body goes gold.
“What do you mean purified?” Bobby asks, shooting Dean a concerned look. “You’re a demon. Purifying you should kill you.”
“And was Lucifer a demon?” she asks. “I have taken the sacrament.”
Dean doesn’t know what that means, but Bobby’s expression shifts from disgust to shock to a horror filled curiosity. “You drank Sam’s blood?”
She did what?
“I have taken the sacrament,” she repeats, lifting her chin. “Samuel purified me.”
How the hell would Sam’s blood do that? Why had she drank it in the first place? She’s a demon, not a damn vampire. Dean pushes those questions aside and instead asks, “How are you even alive?”
“Samuel resurrected me,” she says. First he can kill demons, and now he can bring them back? “He knows we had a rapport and he thought it would be easier if it was me.”
“What would be easier?” he asks. His head is spinning and his heart hurts and he doesn’t understand anything that just happened. At least being dragged to hell would have been simpler.
She presses the Colt into his hands. “Samuel doesn’t want you to die. He knows this will be difficult for you, that you’ll make poor choices. I have my orders. I am to stay with you and keep you alive. We’re going to get to know each other very well, Dean.”
“Like hell,” he says gruffly, hand tightening as he takes the Colt and raises it to her head. “What’s to stop me from killing you?”
“The same thing that will stop you from killing Samuel,” she says and he flinches. “Nothing.”
He stares at her. He can’t bring himself to speak.
“You’ll have to hunt him down the old fashioned way,” she says casually. “But if you can find him, you can kill him. We’re all under orders not to touch you. Samuel won’t stop you if you want kill him. The same way I won’t stop you if you want to kill me.”
“Why?” he asks.
She shrugs. “It’s always been up to you, Dean. He trusts you. If you decide that he must die, then he’s willing to die.”
Dean sold his soul for him. He’s not going to fucking kill him.
But the Sam he sold his soul for wasn’t capable of doing that to Lilith. He wouldn’t have even wanted to be.
“What about your demon lover?” Dean asks, thinking of the priest that Casey had embraced and kissed, the demon she’d begged to spare Dean’s life before Sam had killed them both. “Sam bring him back too?”
Grief chases across her face before she smooths it away. “He will. If I am good, and obedient, and loyal, then Samuel will bring him back for me.”
Dean’s stomach rolls to hear Sam described like that, like some sort of tyrant or king. Like Dad. “You really believe that?”
Casey meets his gaze steadily as she echoes the words she’d said to him in that basement as she spoke of Lucifer, except now she’s talking about his brother. “I have faith.”
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bluesidez · 2 days ago
Text
Gym Rat Miguel Part 16
content warning: angst, recreational drug use, mentions of food, 18+ so MDNI (not spoiling the positions this time, so you’ll just have to read and see)
word count: 8.2k (thank ya once again @slushycoookie 😚)
If you really love Xina as a character, then don't read this. Nothing crazy happens, it's just so far removed from her original character action-wise that you’ll definitely get angry. That's all. 🥸👍🏾
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GymRat!Miguel who should have taken the edible.
He held his head down, everything over the past years starting to click.
The touches, the stares, the treatment. Xina wasn’t just close to him because they were friends.
She was in love with him and he was too dumb to see it, too naïve to even think it was a possibility.
He takes a deep breath and looks down at his hands.
“You don’t have to say anything,” Xina speeds out. “Or maybe you can just let it sit with you.”
“Ok.”
Xina widens her eyes, “O-ok? What do you mean ok? Ok as in you…you like me back?”
“Ok as in I hear you. I understand.”
Xina nods, hand holding her elbow.
“And I’m sorry that so much happened to you. I wish you would have reached out. It sounds traumatizing and no one should have to go through that on their own.”
Xina waits, heart beating out of her chest.
“But?”
“But, it doesn’t excuse anything you’ve done to me. Not a single fucking thing.”
She opens her mouth, eyes burning and eyebrow pinched, “I-“
“-need to let me talk first,” Miguel finishes. “You know how much you mean to me, so you have to understand that what you did was so low, Xina. It hurt, genuinely.”
“I know.”
“You know and yet you continued. It’s funny because after you were being weird to my girlfriend the first time you met her, I still defended you. That’s how much I had faith in our friendship.”
Xina blinks rapidly, pulling her hair back.
“Now, I feel even more stupid because this,” Miguel pushes his hand in and out between himself and Xina, “looks exactly how she thought it was. But that’s what you wanted, right? You wanted her to feel like you were someone to look out for.”
Her lip wobbles, “For just a second, I was relieved. I was so relieved that someone finally fucking beat me to you. But then I saw how you looked at her and I, I felt something boil over.”
Miguel wanted to laugh in disbelief.
“Xina, that doesn’t make it ok for you to go in my phone, plot and scheme, then lie like you didn’t. When has that ever been right?”
“Miguel, I know that so please-“
“You don’t love me.”
Xina falters, a tear falling down her face. A light from a car outside brightens the room for just a second, and she sees Miguel give an unfamiliar look of disdain.
“Yes, I do. I do love you. How could you say that I don’t?”
“Because you really don’t,” Miguel pushed his hair off of his face, only for it to fall back in place. “Love isn’t seeing me happy and trying your best to ruin it. Love is not control. If this is what you do to me, I would hate to see what you’re willing to do to someone who wants to be yours.”
She squats, hands wiping away the sorrow on her face.
In the past, Miguel would have been at her side arms open for comfort, heart hurting to see her like this. Right now, he just wants to plead at your waist for forgiveness.
“I don’t really want to look at you right now. I think you should go.”
He starts to get up, tired.
“M-Miguel? I, I’m sorry.”
“Me too. About a lot of shit I need to fix. You have more than just me to own up to and whenever you’re ready to do that, let me know. Right now though? You can see your way out.”
“Miguel, just,” she grabs his arm. “If I- Do you-“ her quiet sobs rack through her body. “I don’t want to lose you. Y-you don’t have to like me back.”
He turns and grabs her arms softly, eyes going back and forth between hers.
“Go home, Xina.”
GymRat!Miguel who opens the door to a flustered Gabriel and a nonchalant Tempest sitting on the floor.
“It’s not what it looks like-”
“It’s exactly what it looks like,” Tempest cuts Gabriel off. She looks past Miguel to a mourning Xina. “C’mon, girl, I’ll walk you to the door.”
Miguel steps aside as Xina shuffles over. He does his best to ignore the last tug she gives his hoodie before she leaves.
GymRat!Miguel who crosses his arms as he looks at Gabriel.
“How much did you hear?”
“Enough to put a smile upon my face,” Gabriel grins. “It’s like watching your dreams come into fruition. I feel like I have enough adrenaline to run to New York and back, you know?”
“No, I don’t know. This isn’t funny, Gabri.”
“Uh,” Gabriel peers left and right. “It’s a little funny. To me.”
Miguel reaches into his pocket and threw the gummy into his mouth. The taste was interesting, to say the least.
“This is a good thing,” Gabriel tries again. “It’s one step closer to what you wanted, right?”
Miguel thought about you from last week.
He didn’t want you to look at him like that again.
“It is. I just don’t know how I let it get this far.”
Gabriel squeezes his shoulder with a pout.
“Because you’re an idiot, to be frank.”
The squawk that Gabriel lets out when Miguel hits him on the back echoes through the hallway.
GymRat!Miguel who goes back to his room to see a knocked out Lyla and Winston with a plate piled high with wings and yams.
“Yo,” he whispers, but his voice is still unbearably loud. “I think she’s trying to steal my fucking food.”
Miguel looked to Lyla who was folded over a beanbag, neck bent awkwardly. Her mouth was open and a little wet, but she was snoring up a storm.
“No, she’s not,” Miguel laughs. His friend's eyes are blown wide, horrified, like he’s in the middle of a haunted house.
Winston observes Lyla before turning back to Miguel, slow like he was made of wires and metal, “Don’t say shit to me when you’re next.”
GymRat!Miguel who shouldn’t have turned on your playlist as his limbs got heavier.
He was going to try and write something down in his journal, thoughts from before too much for his head.
It started with what just happened down the hallway. Was he right or wrong for what he said and what he did? Should he have done more?
Was it enough for you to see the truth?
You. You and everything you brought him. Your being, your emotions, you core, your love.
Now, he’s staring at the page full of your name alone scrawled across it with slow blinking eyes.
It feels like your hands are all over him and you’re whispering in his ears. You’re going through his hair from his scalp to his neck. Your tongue is hot on his skin, in his mouth. You taste like cinnamon and whipped cream. You’re pressing your chest against his and your heartbeats are becoming one.
His heartbeat.
Your heartbeat.
It’s sinking him. His heart is on the marked paper before him. It’s in red and graphite, smudged and darkened.
He’s falling. The clothes on him are rubbing against his bones. The chair under him is slipping from his grasp but he thinks you’ll catch him.
GymRat!Miguel who gasps for air as his back hits the cold metal of his desk chair.
Winston’s cackle refocuses his train of thought and he breathes in deep as he tries not to let you drown his thoughts again.
GymRat!Miguel who joins Winston on the floor to finish off the variety bag of takis.
Lyla shifts to a better position and Winston clutches his purple bag for dear life. Miguel laughs until he cries.
GymRat!Miguel who ends up on Gabriel’s fluffy rug, rubbing his hands over the fur like it’s a cat. Winston is bopping his head in the corner, music making him worry less about whether or not he’s being watched.
“Why is he so soft? What did you put on him?” Miguel asks.
Gabriel snickers as he watches him, “My feet.”
Miguel makes a face like a disgruntled cat.
“That’s fucking weird. Why would you ever do that? Is that why he smells lie that?”
“No, that’s your breath.”
Miguel gasps and covers his mouth, blowing straight through his fingers. He waits for a minute, then sniffs the air.
“You’re such a liar. It smells like apples. You need to be nicer to your rug, Gabri.”
A snap from above makes Miguel pose at the very last second. He thinks he’s posing at least. His smile is big but his eyes are closing every time the camera clicks and his peace sign is hidden somewhere in the fuzz of the rug.
“Say ‘party gal!’” Gabriel sang.
“I’m not at a party, nor am I a girl, so…no?” Miguel says with squinted eyes. “Why are you taking pictures of me?”
“Because you’re just so adorable that I have to share with your girlfriend.”
Miguel stops rubbing the rug and sits up, “Is she here? Where is she?”
Gabriel pushes him away with his foot.
“Chill out, Mig. I’m just sending her a video.”
“But,” Miguel stiffens. “It’s too dark in here. How is she supposed to see me?”
Gabriel looks at the several ambient lights his room is sporting then back to Miguel, “She can see it.”
“Was my shirt off in it? She likes it when my shirt is off.”
“I’m not filming your striptease, you hornball.”
“But Gabri-“
“No!”
GymRat!Miguel who snowballs his way through telling Gabriel his plans for when he visits New York for the next twenty minutes.
“And then,” he pauses and giggles like he’s holding the world’s greatest secret. “We go to the bodega. Ham and cheese. Orange drink. You know the one.”
Gabriel joins in his endless bubble of laughter, “Who taught you that?”
Miguel spaces out his giggles just enough to let your name fall through.
“Do you think she still loves me, Gabri? Because sometimes I get scared that she doesn’t.”
His brother sighed, head upside down as it hung off of his bed, “Yeah, I think so. It’s your first big fight, but what is love if not war?”
There’s a silence in the room.
Winston is giving a silent performance in the corner of the room now, his audience being Gabriel’s closet door of scarves and belts.
“War is what keeps humans apart,” Miguel mumbles.
“Uh oh,” Gabriel turns to look at him. “Don’t start this.”
“Statistically speaking, all first marriages have a 50% chance of surviving.”
“You just made that up.”
“No,” Miguel closes his eyes, hoping that would stop his million and one thoughts. “She could find another guy and last longer with him. It’s science. Proven.”
“You’re not even married.”
Miguel opens one eye and checks his empty left hand, “Holy shit you’re right.”
He starts to pat down his clothes, cotton pulling against his fingers.
“Where did it go? I just had it.”
Gabriel thought for a second.
“The Funyuns you just ate?”
Miguel starts to flip things over, papers and chip bags going everywhere.
He finds the bright yellow bag, opening it up and finding nothing. He turns it over and shakes it much to Gabriel’s annoyance who snatches it from his hands.
Miguel is about to cry until Gabriel throws another bag into his hands.
“Let’s switch topics,” Gabriel grumbles. “I feel like I’m watching a big ass baby.”
Miguel opens the bag and starts crunching.
“I think stars is such a good theme for the nursery. And penguins.”
“I’m turning on Spongebob.”
GymRat!Miguel who is out of his mind watching Squidward run around a blank screen.
The colors were there and now they’re not.
It does a number on him.
GymRat!Miguel who sits staring at Gabriel’s door. Watching. Waiting.
He said that you were coming around eventually.
It was sure taking you a long time to open the door.
GymRat!Miguel who is disappointed when Tempest and her pink-tipped locs bang the door open instead of you.
His slow turn and look of disappointment towards Gabriel is comical.
GymRat!Miguel who is guided back to his room by a more relaxed Tempest who asks Gabriel to distract Conchata.
“Did she say something?” Gabriel asks.
“No, but we need to act normal. She asked me some shit about some seasoning I used and I think dozed off mid-explanation. Can’t remember.”
GymRat!Miguel who finds a picture of you under his pillow right before he goes to sleep.
It’s a part of the polaroids you gave him last Christmas with your tank and panties.
He presses his lips against the film, eyes closing as he groans against it. The action repeats, his mind putting him in front of you.
A pain hits his hip, ache in his bones matching his heartbeat.
He looks down to a gray, metal hand covering him and screams.
Two of his friends jerk up from across the room while Winston throws a pillow at him.
“Shut the fuck up. I’m trying to sleep.”
Tempest squints as she removes her eye mask, “Why did you throw your arm at him?”
“He was making weird sounds,” Winston replies as if the answer was obvious.
GymRat!Miguel who wakes up to Tempest shaking him for dear life.
His eyelids are heavy and the sun peaking through the windows are bright.
His arm covers his eyes as he tries to block it, feelings of his muscles slowly coming back to him.
“C’mon, buddy. You feeling ok?”
Miguel only yawns and nods into the pillow.
“Need to pee? Feeling sick? I got some water right here.”
Miguel slowly sits up with his eyes closed, hair sticking up every which way. Tempest opens his hand and places a glass of water there, helping him guide it to his lips. One taste of the liquid and he’s gulping it down like he’s never drank before.
“What time is it?” he asks, throat dry.
“Noon,” Tempest takes the glass away. “You guys were sleeping like babies. Very cute.”
Memories of last night slowly come back.
He’s pretty sure he texted you a string of random things, but he doesn’t even know if it went through.
“Yeah, I know, I know. Come to the kitchen and eat some food.”
GymRat!Miguel who makes his friends promise to text him when they make it home.
Sure, they’ll probably be on the call tonight playing some game or watching obscure compilations, but he was nothing if not a worrier.
“And don’t forget to-“
“We know, dad,” they say in unison.
GymRat!Miguel who spends Thanksgiving near his grandma.
His mom is giving him sideways looks all day and he feels that something is coming.
GymRat!Miguel who watches his brother place his cousins in formation for a video for the nth time.
“It’s swing, back a-round, grab your pants, thumb up with ‘I’m cool’. Feet out and in at the same time then CIRCLE your arms really high. What is so hard to understand about that guys?”
He runs to his phone on the tripod.
“From the top!”
GymRat!Miguel who hides with his grandma in her bedroom as his mom starts to bark orders. She was doing a lot for someone who didn’t really celebrate Thanksgiving.
The two of them are watching some random sitcom under a giant quilt sharing coconut cookies that she snuck from the kitchen.
“¿Abuela?”
“¿Si nieto?”
“¿Alguna vez has experimentado un desamor?”
His grandmother looks up, chewing as she thought.
“Yes, but only for a short while. I didn’t really have the time to sit with my feelings.”
“But, what if you did? Does it feel as terrible as it sounds?”
“Sometimes. But we’re human. If you’ve put in effort to love, that means you can put effort into yourself to heal and grow.”
Her arms wrap around him and squeeze, kissing his cheek like he was still the chunky baby she met decades ago.
“Now, relax and watch these two teachers avoid love. Maybe you’ll learn something.”
GymRat!Miguel who is leaning on his grandma, cheek pressed against her chest, when Gabriel comes in to plop on the bed.
“Move over,” he whines to Miguel as he tries to push him away to be in the middle.
“I don’t wanna sit next to you. You’re disturbing my peace.”
“And you’re hogging Abuela.”
“Go to her other side!”
“But this side is already warm!”
“My daughter has raised two giant babies,” their grandmother laughs as she moves the blanket to let Gabriel into her other side. “What am I going to do with you two?”
GymRat!Miguel who was nearly asleep when George comes to get them to eat.
It’s deep in the evening and the crickets are loud outside of the window.
He and Gabriel pout, the darkness of the room and the smell of their grandmother’s perfume making them lethargic.
“Your cousins are going to eat up all of the empanadas if you don’t hurry up.”
Miguel perks up and stumbles out of the bed, foggy mind registering his willingness to stuff his face with doughy goodness.
“Like a moth to a flame,” Gabriel says as he helps his grandmother up.
GymRat!Miguel who is on his third or fourth plate, not that he’s really counting, when his mom does what she always does every holiday: annoy him.
“Mijo, have you checked on Xina today? I saw Tempest walk her out the other day. Was she doing alright?”
Miguel glances around the table, mouth full of turkey as he sees his family perk up.
“No, I haven’t,” he answers slowly. “I’ll see her next week. Probably.”
Conchata brings a cup to her mouth while giving him a miffed look.
“And you’re not worried about her? What’s gotten into you?”
“Nothing has gotten into me,” Miguel replies calmly. His relatives are staring at him like he’s grown two heads.
“Did you two fight?” one of his aunts asks.
Miguel didn’t understand how this was anyone else’s business, but from the looks of it, it seems that his mother has already told it.
“Can I just finish my food, please?”
His mother thumps her cup against the table with more force than necessary.
“You’re never going to find a suitable woman if you keep acting like this. I know you hurt her somehow and you need to fix it.”
“Ma,” Gabriel interrupts with a hushed tone. “Right here? At the table? Seriously?”
She ignores him and stares at Miguel, as it’s supposed to urge him to obey her. His appetite is long gone.
“I have a suitable woman-“
“Mijo, no. You have stars in your eyes. You’re young, so I know you can’t see it yet, but it’s almost time for you to start planning properly for the future. I can only let your playing go on for so much longer.”
Miguel stares at her, eyes not blinking once. Gabriel anxiously looks back and forth between them.
“Who is up for Abuela’s famous cake? Mm mm mm, I know I am!” he tries, only getting a small portion of the table to move.
Miguel gets up to follow them, plate in his hand heavy and half-eaten.
They’re back at square one.
He’s not sure how many more times he can restart.
GymRat!Miguel who texts you before he knocks out.
He stares at the blinking line, thinking of all that he wants to say, but not really knowing how to put it.
“Happy Thanksgiving mi luz”
“I miss you more than ever today”
“I miss you every day”
He stops himself and turns his phone off.
GymRat!Miguel who does a light jog Friday morning.
He’s been having far too many days of wallowing and feasting.
The November air wakes him up completely.
GymRat!Miguel who thinks he still has THC in his bloodstream when your name pops up on his screen as he’s checking his miles.
He opens it too fast, heart racing faster than what any exercise could do to him.
It’s a link to your calendar, blocks of blues and pinks covering the screen. He sees that your last final is next Thursday, and his plan is already in motion.
He hearts your text and stops himself from spamming you with emojis and pictures.
He’s ready to see you.
GymRat!Miguel who has never been more happy for his coding professor being a recluse and making their final submission online.
He knew for a fact Xina was definitely still processing everything. Quite frankly, he didn’t want to see her unless she was ready to apologize to you.
He tried not to stew on it, his mom’s insinuation putting a bad taste in his mouth.
He had finals to focus on and a girlfriend to win back so he pushed thoughts of crumbling friendship to the back of his mind.
GymRat!Miguel who sits in the hallway of the art building. It was becoming a familiar sight for someone who couldn’t draw a stick figure to save his life.
He waits for the studio door to open, leg bouncing involuntarily. He wasn’t sure when it would end, so he got there about thirty minutes after it started.
Maybe that was a bad idea, simply because he feels like he’s about to sweat out of the stupid button down and sweater he chose to wear. The thick knitting was starting to suffocate him.
Pulling at the chain around his neck, he wonders if he can appeal to you like he did around this time last year.
The door opens in the middle of his tenth time rehearsing what he was going to say. A few students walk out, arms full of canvases as they chat about whatever.
Miguel stands, big bouquet in his hands and heartbeat in his ear. The students notice him and shuffle out of his way as he heads towards the studio entrance.
GymRat!Miguel who spots you talking with a classmate.
You’re both bent over some, engrossed in conversation.
Miguel sees you laugh before you stand up straight. The guy next to you looks familiar.
He rises too, and his build and height become all of the focus. His hand lands on the middle on your back and slowly begins to fall down.
Miguel is building the formation of your name at the back of his tongue, anger climbing before he can really think about it.
You grab the guy’s arm and yank it off, a smack on his shoulder to follow.
Miguel stops himself with an ugly sound, alerting you both to turn and look at him.
GymRat!Miguel who hides the bouquet behind his back, not wanting you to see it yet. Not when your friend was making him shoot daggers with his eyes.
You walk over to him eyes curious, and Miguel thinks that there was no way in this lifetime, no way in this timeline, that you weren’t made for him.
“Hi,” Miguel starts.
“Hi,” you repeat back.
“We’re matching.”
Miguel couldn’t help but to sound giddy about it. He was more than ecstatic about it. You both looked like a couple, therefore you are a couple.
You purse your lips and nod, “That we are. Did you spy on me?”
Miguel copies you and shakes his head.
“You look different.”
“Ah. I uh, I ate good.”
You pat his stomach, fingers tentative and soft, “I see.”
Miguel wants to say something back but your eyes are scanning him with a small light similar to your anniversary night.
He breathes in and puffs his chest up a bit, like a bird trying to show off his pretty feathers to win over his lady. The corners of your lips twitch, holding back your smile.
That alone brightens Miguel up.
GymRat!Miguel who tries not to deflate when your classmate slash friend slash him-imposter makes his way into an A and B conversation.
“I haven’t seen you around campus before,” he puts his right hand out, “I’m Royce.”
Miguel’s eyes flit to you and you look up to the ceiling avoiding his look with your hands behind your back. He brings his left hand out, still poorly hiding his gift for you, twisting his wrist to shake Royce’s hand.
“Miguel.”
“Strong grip you’ve got there, Miguel,” Royce smiled, lip piercing shining. The chains attached to his pants clinked together as be let go.
“Just happy to meet new people.”
Royce pulls the sleeves of his sweater up and grins, like he knew something Miguel didn’t. The fullness of his tattoos contrasted his skin.
“Likewise. What else do you have there?” he tilts his head.
You push him in his side, Royce’s laugh echoing of the studio ceiling, “Go away. You’re so irritating.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m going. I’m guessing this means our late night session is rain checked?” he asks as your eyebrows raise.
He barely dodges as you pick up a ruler and swing at him, laughing as your professor tiredly asks you both to chill out.
Royce calms down, grabs his things, and hugs you goodbye, black hair brushing against your head.
“See you later. Bye, Miguel,” he sings, hand waving.
Miguel makes a line with his lips as he watches him leave.
“Interesting guy.”
“Yeah, he’s pretty fun,” you say, watching Miguel’s lips. “You ok?”
His face shifted, “I should be asking you that after everything.”
“Hm,” your eyes casted down. “Well, you’re here, so I think that counts for something.”
GymRat!Miguel who presents the bouquet to you, nervous of your reaction.
“It’s a small start, but I, I hope that we can still be together. I talked to Xina like you asked and I want to go somewhere with you to really say everything. All truths on the table.”
Your mouth wobbles as your eyes light up from the fairy lights woven throughout the green and golden roses.
“I’m sorry it’s not as big as it’s supposed to be.”
The woman he ordered them from was stacked with birthday and anniversary bouquets. He paid more than he should to get his flowers finished faster.
“‘You are my Evangeline’?” you ask, fingers going over the silky petals.
“Sí,” his hands cover yours over the bottom of the bunch. “La luz de mi vida, mi estrella. Mi bella Evangeline.”
You pout, stopping yourself from falling, only to plant your face in his chest, glasses and all.
Miguel wraps his arms around you, confused.
“You make me so weak,” you mumble.
His hands clutch onto your sweater, heart warm.
“I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing.”
You move your head, cheek pressed against his chest, “Of course you don’t. C’mon.”
His sweater is a little damp but he doesn’t mention it.
GymRat!Miguel who wants to skip as he follows you back to your dorm, but your wet oil paint canvases are in his hands. One wrong move, and his pants will be stained with whatever color landed on him.
He watches as you cradle your flowers to your chest, glancing down whenever you were waiting to cross the street.
“Do you like them?”
“Yes. They’re beautiful.”
He could do a backflip.
GymRat!Miguel who takes his shoes off by your door.
Your dorm smells like oranges and cherries, something so different than the pinecones and brown leaves outside.
“Where do want me to put these?” he asks, holding the sides of your paintings with all of his focus.
You turn and laugh at his stiff stance. His arms were stretched out to a slanted T and his feet were placed together.
“Just sit them up against the wall. They won’t bite you,” you say.
“Ok,” he says and awkwardly puts them down. He pauses his hands in front of them afterwards in case they fall.
You go to sit at your desk, placing the flowers down.
“Is Jess here?” you hear Miguel ask.
“No, she’s gone for winter break already.”
You survey your desk, looking for anything else to focus on. You brought him here, you asked for him to prove himself, yet it’s barely been two weeks since you told him that. You feel silly for it.
Still, when you don’t hear or feel him for a while, you call his name.
“Miguel?”
“What’s this?” he asks.
Spinning around, you see he’s by the end of your bed, on the floor rummaging through a box.
“You packed my stuff up?” he holds up a hoodie that you only let him wear shortly before it finds its way back into your closet. His eyebrows turn, limbs heavy as he pulls out gift after jacket after picture. So many things that marked his time together with you.
“Looking at everything was too much for me. I did it the night we fought. It helped me to focus and not,” you threw your hands up, “simmer on my boyfriend sleeping with someone who is practically the opposite of me.”
Miguel pushes the box to the side and crawls towards you. It was an odd sight to see him inching steadily across your big rug. He stops and sits in front of you, face upset.
“I really wish you would listen to me. I wish you would believe me.”
“I’m trying-“
“No, baby,” Miguel says, pulling your chair towards him. You were too far away. “You’re not. You’re blocking me out.”
You blink, fingers picking at your nails.
“Do you remember that time I said I wasn’t going to let you go?” Miguel wraps your legs around his sides and slots his head on your thigh. “I was serious about that. You aren’t supposed to let me go either.”
“I know,” you whisper. “I know.”
“So if you know, why did you let me go?”
You took a deep breath.
“Because I was hurting, Miguel. I painted this picture in my head of you two being this perfect, ideal couple because of….jealousy? Insecurity? I don’t know. I would see you two in the library sometimes or standing in line for food together, close and wrapped up in a bubble. I kept telling myself that you both were friends. These are the things that friends do. I would leave before I could give myself time to get stupidly upset. But when we were all hanging out together, you kept defending everything she was doing.”
Miguel thinks back to the comments and snide remarks he let slide and wants to shake that version of himself out of delusion.
“Then, there were the messages that weren’t going through, the calls that were getting dropped. Sometimes, I saw Xina holding you,” your voice faltered. “And she’d wear things I could find in my closet and I thought I was being punked. So, when I saw you on your birthday and took a leap of faith, I was destroyed when she was texting your phone.”
You couldn’t take it. You thought he lied to your face for months.
Miguel closed his eyes, trying to form what he wanted to say.
He’s thinking about how stupid he was to not see your pain. The signs were all there, or at least, the times when he should have stepped in were.
That aside, he was upset. Upset at the situation, upset that his relationship has been torn by someone who barely acknowledged him for a year, upset at you.
He didn’t want another girl, he didn’t need another girl, and even if by some sick and terrible decision, he decided to part ways with you, he would never choose Xina.
She couldn’t love him the way you do and what she did to him showed that.
She couldn’t make him feel the way you do. You left him with butterflies, you made him excited. You brought him so much joy.
She couldn’t care for him the way that you did. She would rather hang him out to dry to make herself look good before she thought about how he felt about something.
She couldn’t even confess to him without hurting him, without trying to shift her chances of being with him. It sucks that her life was changing so rapidly against her will, but that didn’t mean she had to create a whirlwind for him to suffer through, too.
It’s so irritating how she came in and swept up his time, his life, and your confidence, but it’s more frustrating for you to have to even wonder if she could replace you.
Miguel’s mind is going a thousand miles per minute, head starting to hurt with how aggravated he was.
“Don’t cry,” you say reaching up to his face, sniffling. “Please, don’t cry.”
He didn’t even notice he was. He realizes then that his thoughts were made aloud.
“’M sorry,” he says, face scrunching up. He leans into your hand, eyes closed as the tears fall. “I’m sorry for everything. But I’m angry that you keep thinking that you’re not worth my love. You’re worth it. You’re worth so much more than what I can give you. But I feel so lucky that you’re giving me the chance to be a part of your life, so I want you to love yourself, too.”
You nod once, twice, before your palms cover your face and you’re sobbing. Miguel pulls you down to his lap, holding you tight. He hated that you were fighting these thoughts alone, but now that he’s aware of everything he’ll try his best again to give you the love you needed.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he whispered into your hair like a mantra.
Through your sorrow, your relief, you everything, you echo his words, “I’m sorry, too. I should have trusted you more.”
“True,” Miguel says and you laugh in the midst of your aches. “But I still love you.”
“I love you, too. I never stopped.”
He squeezes you tighter, heart feather light.
GymRat!Miguel who eventually gets you comfortable, the two of you settling down on the giant plush bean bag sofa that you’ve stuffed under your dorm bed.
He was prepared to wine and dine you, but you insisted on videos and some warm, fulfilling fast food. The true college dream.
You laid on his chest, watching as the man on screen yelled as his character opened the door to a bathroom and a stranger was fixing the sink. Miguel tensed under you, hands gripping the waist of your lounging pants.
It was making up for the Halloween you two spent apart.
“Too scary?” you move your head to look at his face.
His mouth was twisted up, heart beating, “No…”
“Then, why are you holding me so tight?”
“A boyfriend can’t hold his girlfriend?”
You grinned.
You didn’t know how much you missed him calling you his girlfriend until he was less than a centimeter away from you.
A scream followed by a line of curses comes from your laptop speakers, Miguel gasping and squinting at the screen, eyes almost squeezing shut.
“You know, we don’t have to watch this,” you try your best to turn your body so that you were fully on top of him. “We can watch something else.”
Miguel focused on your face, eyes fighting to not look at your lips, “Like what?”
“We can watch a cooking competition. I know you have some documentaries and video essays saved up. We could watch those.”
Miguel thinks he could really be a lip reader. Your lips were moving pretty fast, but he thinks he got most of it.
“You want to use the kitchen this late? It might be closed.”
You slide your hand up his chest, comforting through the thin shirt. Your lips move again and Miguel blinks slowly trying to keep up.
A touch on his jaw has him look up.
“Did you hear me?”
Miguel moves his head in a circle, answer going from yes to no.
“What are you thinking right now?”
He feels you out, hands slowly going down your back and circling the area where your thighs curve out into your ass.
“How much I need to kiss you.”
“Oh really?”
“Mm-hm.”
“Then maybe, you should put those words into action.”
That was all he needed to pull you up, mouth going to yours like a magnet. You make a startled noise as he opens his mouth to slide his lip from your jaw to the bottom of your lip.
You open your mouth with his, thumbs rubbing against his sideburns as he hums against your tongue. The sound of the push and pull of your lips fills the small space under your bed. The tale of the girl and her winter vacation long forgotten in the background.
His hands go under your waistband, palms bringing extra warmth as he squeezes over your underwear.
“I missed this,” he sighs, mouth and hands working together to make you melt into him. He was starting to grind you against him, humming low in his throat.
“Kissing me or something else?” you open your eyes a little, watching his eyelashes against his cheek.
He pushes up against you, bean bag shifting down, “Everything.”
“Cheeky.”
“More like charmed.”
The two of you were glued to each other long enough for the hour long video to end, only the glow of your fairy lights and lamps lighting your room.
Both of your shirts were pulled up, your chest smooshed against his. Miguel had one hand around your waist, massaging your side, and another pulling your underwear between your lips so that you had something extra to feel as you grind against his groin.
“Bebecita,” Miguel says after you let his tongue from your lips. He pecks you in between his words, hungry. “Let’s move this to the bed.”
He kisses down your jaw, making no effort to get up.
“I don’t have any condoms and unless you’re willing to drive out to get some-”
Miguel removes a hand to reach into his pocket.
“Did you just have that on you?” you ask looking at the pack of condoms in his hand.
“No. I got them when I went to go get clothes.”
You tut, “So you just thought we were going have sex? You’re not even supposed to be in here right now.”
He slides his fingers down between your legs, pressing on your lips over cotton, “Of course not, bebe. I’m not an animal.”
He rubs and sucks a kiss into your neck. You’re so lost in him that you didn’t even realize that you were beginning to push back against his fingers. The moan you let out brings you back to reality.
Seeing Miguel’s smug face made you hide yours in his chest.
“Just try not to be too loud. I don’t know if my neighbor is still here or not,” you muffled into his skin.
GymRat!Miguel who really didn’t give a fuck about the neighbors.
He thinks he wants them to hear. It’s been too long since he had you, his decency was thrown out of the window.
Right now, he was head first, indulging, sucking at the entrance of your heat. You were on your knees, ass in his face, and feet hanging off the bed. You were already so wet from earlier, but now he has you dripping down his face onto the floor, moaning into your pillow.
He didn’t hear you over himself as he gripped your skin to spread you over his tongue. Your thighs were shaking like a leaf, feet occasionally kicking as Miguel found his pocket to make you suck him in.
You sounded off into the silk case below you, trying not to make yourself louder than the music you put on.
Miguel was satisfied that you came on his tongue, but didn’t like you censoring yourself not one bit.
“I want to try something new,” he states into your skin, sucking your clit through the aftershocks.
You only give him a shaky thumbs up, mind still finding its other pieces.
GymRat!Miguel who has you flat against your stomach along the bed. There really was barely any room to do this, but he was going to make it work.
You had a long mirror in your room that wasn’t attached to the wall, so beforehand, he brought it over to lean against the desk and turn it towards the top of your bed. He saw the confusion in your face through the glass, but he only smiled and went right back to you.
Now, he was holding one cheek over as he slid in slowly. From the mirror, he could see your face scrunch up. He shifted his knees, watching.
“¿Estás bien?” he asks. “Want me to slow down? Pull out?”
“No,” you keen, constricting around him. He sucked air in through his teeth, feeling you suck him in. “I just haven’t felt you in a while.”
He leans to kiss up your back, taking fat in between his lips to mark it as his. He fights the urge to just bite and stay there for a while.
“Whose fault is that, pretty?” he teases, dragging his lips to the back of neck.
You look to your left and pout at him through the mirror. He looks back, eyes scanning your naked upper half.
You arch your back and tighten around him. He thinks you’re a menace.
“Yours,” you tease back.
“Yeah?” his left hand grabs your waist, thumb pressing into the small of your back. He slides out a bit, hips elevated. “Let me fix that, then.”
His hips dip back into you, smack of his skin against yours. The bed creaks and Miguel watches your eyelids fall.
“Do you want a fast solution?” Miguel says right in your ear. “Or should we do some deeper research?”
He snaps his hips again, leaning down and pressing his weight onto you. Your hands curl up against the mattress, mouth open but only letting out gasps and breaths. Miguel nearly pulls all the way out, then swerves back in, pushing your voice out of you.
“It sounds like you want to pull from some scholarly articles,” Miguel whispers. He’s barely picking up a sweat while you’re hot everywhere. “It’s unclear.”
The springs of the mattress sing, metal and wood bed frame keeping a steady tempo against the wall.
You can’t even focus enough to tell him to shut up, the position you were in knocking the wind out of you. You start to hide your face in your pillow again, overwhelmed.
Miguel releases an offended sound.
“Nuh uh,” his right hand wraps in front of your neck. He pulls head up and turns it towards the mirror. “Look how pretty you look. Don’t hide.”
Your boyfriend might be a little nuts.
Your eyes can’t even focus but he’s holding your head steady and nibbling your earlobe as he waits. Your glasses are crooked and fogging up, you can’t even really see.
His name tries to fall from your mouth, but that “M” sound comes out broken and loud. He’s too busy being enchanted by how good you look.
“Mi preciosa princesita,” his hips stutter as you clench in response. “So gorgeous.”
He’s hitting your spot over and over again. You’re losing track of time.
“Don’t you think so too, baby?” Miguel huffs.
“Y-yes, Miggy, please.”
“Are you close?”
You nod, watching his eyes get darker.
“Ok, bebé. I still have some follow-up questions, though. Gonna answer them?”
A yell comes out as your answer, Miguel stroking faster.
He kisses your cheek and takes your glasses off. They were slipping and he was scared you were going to break them.
“Question one, do you want to do something for winter break?”
He opens your legs a bit, leaning and wrapping his hand under your body. His fingers find your clit and rub nice and slow. Overstimulated, you scream into the pillow. Miguel kisses your shoulder as he hums.
“I think that’s a yes,” Miguel says. Your back arches as you try to move your hips to match his pace. “Question two, what do you want for Christmas? It’s getting late, but I’ll find it. I swear.”
“Fuck, Miguel,” you say as his hands move to your breasts. He can’t do much, but there’s still something so good about him all over you.
“You want this again? We can arrange that.”
He was close and you could hear it in the way his voice wavered.
“Last question,” he rose off of you, hands pushing against your back. Your body couldn’t move as he slapped his pelvis against your ass. The recoil sounded off in the room and the entire bed jumped with his movement.
“Are you still mad at me?”
Your back arched as you felt him breach deep enough to make you go crazy. He was mumbling something but your thoughts were swimming with his dick inside of you about to introduce another orgasm.
“Say it back, baby. You gotta say it back,” Miguel’s voice sounds out.
There might be a pool of drool growing under your face. Your boyfriend didn’t care, though. He would still want you to say that declaration through any obstruction.
“I love you, Miguel. Te amo tanto.”
His hips quicken, bed against the wall like a drumline.
When he cums, his body tightens and releases, weight letting go as he covers you. He’s breathing hard, “te amo,” his proverb to you.
You blink at the mirror, vision blurry, but the comforted and satisfied expression of Miguel still recognizable.
You could stay like this, breaths slowly becoming tighter until you fall asleep in his arms.
The bed gives a loud snap, scaring Miguel into nearly falling off of it with you on top.
It’s leaning a little more to the back left than it should.
“Did you just break my fucking bed?”
He panics, “I-it was a joint effort!”
“Miguel.”
GymRat!Miguel who thanks whatever entity it is out there afterwards that it was just a screw that came out and not the bed actually completely splitting.
“This is why the beds are tiny in the first place,” you say from the bean bag, watching him screw it back together.
“I would have covered the costs if it was actually broken. We should look into sturdy bed frames for the future, though.”
“Oh?”
Miguel pauses, “Not that I was thinking about that!”
“You already have a list, don’t you.”
You watch his hands stutter as he puts your screwdriver back in your bin.
GymRat!Miguel who suggests you lay on top of him in the bed.
The two of you were freshly showered and ready to close your eyes any minute now.
“We should take breaks more often. I feel like jelly,” you say with a low voice, drawing circles over his chest.
He grabs your wrist, voice serious in the dark, “Don’t joke like that.”
“Hmm, I guess you’re right. You made up for the last time you didn’t make me come.“
“Baby.”
You giggled into him as he pinched your sides.
“What about you and Royce? Your friend whose name starts with an R and ends with an E.”
“It’s not my fault rose and Royce are similar!”
“But you knew what you were doing. How cruel,” he pouts.
You pat his cheek!
“Well, you don’t have to worry because he has a boyfriend.”
“Oh! So, he’s gay.”
“Bi. Open relationship.”
“Oh,” Miguel replied, less happy.
“I kind of just want one lover, though.”
“Oh,” Miguel says again, more happy. “What kind of lover?”
You stay quiet for so long, Miguel thinks you’ve gone to sleep.
There’s a lot of things that you love about him. His kindness, his heart, his determination, his wit. Tonight, though, he truly took your breath away.
And you realize, he’s always done that.
“The kind that loves me the way that you do.”
Miguel’s chest rises and falls like a wave that gets weaker as it hits the shore.
“Me too, mi luz. Me too.”
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divider by: fanguro + adornedwithlight 🩵
a/n: Our family is has been brought back together!! Also, if you get which horror game they were watching, you get a gold star.
Please very mindful, very cutesy, very demure in the comments. Don’t ask about the next part unless you have something nice/constructive to say to go with it. And no, this is not the last time Xina will be in this story. But it’ll get better!
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The taglist is full, so if you would like to be informed of future updates, check my blog occasionally (💀) or subscribe to the story on AO3!
taglist: @ghost-lantern @miguelhugger2099 @emelie-s-h @lake-lili
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louisaskywalkerani · 2 days ago
Text
Beneath Your Touch
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Pairing : Anakin Skywalker x f!Reader
synopsis : Basically, its your first time. Thats all.
CW : 18+, smut! minors DNI. vaginal fingering | p in v | unprotected sex
an : So, here’s the thing—this is about two people who can't keep their hands off each other (shocking, I know). It’s messy, a little awkward, and honestly, way too intense, but hey, what else would you expect? Anyway, hope you didn’t fall asleep halfway through. Or maybe you did? Who knows. Let me know what you think, or don’t.
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As you hear the door creaking open, you jolt up in bed, blinking at the sound. Your mind races—who could it be this early? Only one person comes to mind. It’s Anakin. You rub your eyes groggily, swing your feet to the cold floor, and shuffle to the door. 
You open it a crack, just enough to peek through. There he stands, his dark Jedi robes sweeping the ground, looking like something out of a dramatic holodrama. His brows are furrowed, lips set in a deep frown, and his whole posture screams exhaustion. It’s kind of unsettling, seeing him like this when he’s usually so confident, practically oozing swagger. 
"Ani..." you whisper, still half-asleep but feeling that familiar rush of affection. "You’re back."
He locks eyes with you, his gaze filled with so much emotion it makes your stomach flip. "Hey, angel," he murmurs, stepping closer. "Sorry for waking you up so early. I just... I couldn’t wait any longer."
Your heart skips a beat, and you don’t even try to hide the smile creeping up. "It’s okay, come in." You grab his hand and pull him inside, shutting the door behind him. "How was the mission?"
He lets out a heavy sigh, running a hand through his messy hair. "Intense. Lots of fighting, lots of stress." He pauses, his blue eyes finding yours again, this time burning with something deeper. "But I’m here now. And I missed you so fucking much."
Before you can even respond, he’s pulling you into a crushing hug. You melt against him, inhaling his familiar scent, that mix of something warm and earthy that’s just so him. "I missed you too," you mumble into his chest. "So much."
You stay like that, wrapped up in each other, and it feels like time stops for a moment. But then you start noticing how every inch of him feels pressed up against you, and your body reacts almost immediately. That familiar warmth starts pooling between your legs, and you find yourself pressing closer, like you can’t get enough of him.
Anakin seems to catch on quickly—of course, he does. His hands start roaming over your body, squeezing and caressing like he’s memorizing every curve all over again. "Fuck, I want you so bad," he groans, his lips finding your neck and nipping at your skin. You can’t help but shiver because damn, he knows exactly what he’s doing.
"I want to make you feel good, baby. Let me worship this beautiful body of yours," he whispers, his voice low and breathy, and you have to bite back a sarcastic Oh, please do, because really, you’re not about to ruin the moment.
He trails soft, teasing kisses along your jaw and down your neck, making you shudder. His large hands slide under your thin nightgown, palming your breasts and brushing his thumbs over your nipples. They harden instantly, and you gasp as he tweaks them gently, sending a shockwave straight to your core.
"Ani..." you whimper, your voice coming out breathy as you arch into his touch. "Please..."
He chuckles against your skin, the sound rumbling through you and making you shiver even more. "Please what, angel? Tell me what you want," he teases, like he doesn’t already know exactly what you’re craving.
You flush a little, suddenly feeling shy despite how desperately you’ve been wanting this. "I... I want you to touch me more. Everywhere," you whisper, meeting his eyes with a half-pleading, half-smoldering look. "I’ve been thinking about your hands on me the whole time you were gone."
Anakin’s grin widens, turning wicked. "Oh, have you now?" he purrs, giving your nipples a firmer pinch that has you gasping. "Don’t worry, I’m going to touch you so good." 
He doesn’t waste any more time, pushing your nightgown up and over your head, tossing it aside without a second thought. You shiver under his heated gaze, feeling exposed but *so* aroused it doesn’t even matter. His eyes rake over your body like he’s savoring every inch.
"Fucking perfect," he growls, his hands gliding down your sides to your hips. He hooks his fingers into your panties, dragging them down your legs agonizingly slowly, his mouth following the path. It’s the kind of thing that would make you roll your eyes if it weren’t so hot.
He settles between your thighs, parting your folds with his fingers, and you’re already squirming, hips lifting in anticipation. "Ani, please..." you beg, rocking your hips as if that’ll make him move faster. "I need it. I need you."
He just grins like the smug bastard he can be and swipes his tongue over your clit, making you cry out and fist his hair. "Shh, just relax, baby," he coos, circling the sensitive bud with the tip of his tongue like he’s got all the time in the world. "Let me take care of you."
And as much as you want to retort with something sarcastic, you’re too busy being completely undone by the way his mouth feels on you, the pleasure building higher with every flick of his tongue.
He works you open with long, slow licks, occasionally dipping his tongue inside your tight entrance. And wow, the taste of you seems to explode on his tongue because he groans like he’s just tasted the best dessert ever. It’s almost embarrassing how good he is at this—like, did he take a course or something? He grips your thighs, spreading you wider as he delves deeper, gently tongue fucking you, and you can’t help but think, Of course, he’s amazing at this too. Typical.
"That's it, angel," he murmurs against your slick folds. "Let me in. Gonna make you feel so good." His voice is all low and raspy, like he knows exactly what he’s doing to you. 
You writhe beneath him, hands fisting the sheets because you genuinely can't handle this. Your brain is short-circuiting, and it's like you’re experiencing this for the first time (well, okay, you kind of are, but still). The intense sensations are so overwhelming it almost feels unfair. Anakin's down there like he’s got nowhere else to be, licking and sucking until you're a complete mess, your hips practically bucking against his face on their own. 
"Ani, I... I'm gonna-“ you gasp out, that familiar tingling deep in your core making itself known. And, of course, he just doubles down, sucking on your clit like he’s trying to win some kind of award. 
Two fingers slip inside your tight heat, curling just right to stroke your g-spot, and that’s it—you’re done. You come with a sharp cry, your back arching off the bed as your walls clench around his fingers. It’s intense and overwhelming, like he just flipped a switch inside you. 
He doesn’t even stop—no, he keeps going, licking at you through your orgasm like he’s trying to make you see stars. By the time he’s done, you’re trembling all over, the overstimulation making you so sensitive you could scream. He presses these soft, tender kisses to your inner thighs before crawling up your body with this stupidly proud grin on his face.
"You did so well, baby," he says, capturing your lips in a deep kiss. You can taste yourself on his tongue, and it’s kind of hot but also kind of mortifying. "Now I’m going to make you come on my cock," he adds, like it’s the most casual thing in the world.
He positions himself at your entrance, the thick head nudging against your slick folds, and you suddenly freeze up, feeling a wave of nerves. "Wait, Ani-“
He stops immediately, looking down at you with genuine concern. It’s almost sweet, really. "What’s wrong, angel?"
"I just… It’s my first time..." you admit softly, feeling a little vulnerable and pretty much embarrassed.
His eyes widen, and you can see the realization dawn on his face. “Fuck baby, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize..." He cups your cheek, stroking your skin with his thumb. "We don’t have to do this if you’re not ready. I would never hurt you." 
And for a moment, it’s almost enough to make you forget he was just eating you out like he was starving a second ago.
"No, I want to," you assure him, reaching down to stroke his length. The nerves are there, sure, but the trust is too. "I trust you, Ani. I want my first time to be with you." And there it is—you said it out loud, hoping it doesn’t sound as awkward as it feels in your head.
He looks relieved, like he was holding his breath. "Okay, we'll go slow. If anything hurts, we stop, alright?" He’s all serious, like this is a contract negotiation, but honestly, it’s kind of sweet.
You nod, heart pounding in your chest, a mix of anticipation and nerves making your skin tingle. Anakin kisses you deeply, like he’s trying to pour every ounce of love and devotion he has into it. It’s a little overwhelming, but in a good way. Then he starts to push inside, slow and careful, and you kind of appreciate that he’s taking his time. 
You tense up as he breaches your entrance, a sharp sting making you gasp. It’s not unbearable, but it definitely doesn’t feel amazing either. Anakin immediately stops, his forehead pressed to yours, whispering, "Breathe, baby. You're doing so good." 
You take a deep breath, trying to relax. It’s almost funny how you’re practically giving yourself a pep talk in your head, like Come on, body, get it together. He resumes his slow advance, inch by inch sliding deeper inside you, and when he finally bottoms out, he stays still. It’s like he’s letting you take your time to adjust, which is nice, but also, who knew this would be so... full?
"How do you feel, angel?" he asks softly, brushing a stray piece of hair off your face. You can tell he’s genuinely concerned, and it’s oddly comforting.
"Full," you whisper, marveling at the sensation. It’s not something you can easily describe, but it’s a lot. "You’re... really big." The words slip out before you can stop them, and you can’t help but cringe a little at how cliché it sounds. 
He chuckles against your neck, clearly amused. "You’re taking me so well. So tight and perfect." His voice is low and husky, and you can’t decide if you want to roll your eyes or melt into him.
He starts to move, pulling out slowly before easing back in, setting a gentle rhythm. It’s almost annoyingly sweet how careful he’s being. Like, I get it—you’re trying to be nice. But as the slow, steady thrusts start to build up, the sparks of pleasure begin to spread through your body, and okay, maybe the slow pace is a good thing after all.
You cling to him, your nails digging into his back as you instinctively rock your hips to meet his. The feelings are overwhelming, so much more intense than you expected. You’re teetering right on the edge, and you can barely think straight. 
"Ani, I think... I think I’m gonna..." you pant, your walls starting to flutter around him. It’s kind of hilarious how fast this is happening, but also, it’s not like you’re going to stop it.
"That’s it, baby. Come for me. I’ve got you," he encourages, and you can hear the strain in his voice, like he’s barely holding on himself.
With a final, deep thrust, you shatter, your vision going white as ecstasy crashes over you. You feel like you’re floating for a second, everything going hazy. Anakin follows right after, spilling himself deep inside you with a guttural moan that’s almost enough to send you over the edge again.
And just like that, it's over. You're both a sweaty, panting mess, tangled up together, and you can’t help but think, Well, that was definitely worth the hype.
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borathae · 3 days ago
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Red
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"Jungkook knows that he can always use his safeword with you. Even during your most passionate of roleplays."
Pairing: Jungkook x f.Reader
Genre: married life!AU, Comfort Fluff, slight Smut in the beginning
Warnings: sub!Jungkook, Mommy Dom!Reader, implied sexual situations, implied prisoner & cop roleplay, implied spanking & pain play, nudity, use of his safeword, the most comforting & loving aftercare for both <3
Wordcount: 1.7k
a/n: i can't find the ask rn, but someone once asked me if Koo ever had to use the safeword with her and how that went. so i decided to write it for you besties and it comes without a surprise that this is incredibly comforting and lovely 💗
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Jungkook is a masochist. That much is sure to both him and you. He likes it when the ropes pinch a little. He likes it when the overstimulation burns so fiery. He likes it when the tug on his hair stings. And he likes it when the impact play leaves tender spots behind. Jungkook is a proud and very happy masochist. Pain is pleasurable to him, it gets him off.
But even for a proud and happy masochist such as himself, the pain can get too much. He is only human after all.
For tonight’s roleplay, you tied him to a metal pole with his back turned to you and his arms lifted above his head. He can rest against the metal post with his elbows if he wishes to do so. He is entirely naked and drenched in sweat by now, while you are still completely clothed. Tonight’s role play – like all your other role plays – was discussed into the smallest details beforehand. He is supposed to be your prisoner who refuses to give you crucial information and you are the morally corrupt detective who uses torture to get what she wants. It is so hot and sexy and so much fun. You interrogated him as he was tied to a chair and had a vibrator strapped to his cock, manhandled him a little as you shoved him from the interrogation room (your office on normal days) to the torture chamber (the playroom on normal days) and you used just the right impact toys in just the right order to really get him going. It was so much fun until suddenly it isn’t. 
You strike his tender and very red buttocks with the wooden pedal. You didn’t change anything in the way you strike him. You use the same angle, the same speed, the same strength, but it still gets too much for him. The once pleasurable pain becomes incredibly real. 
Jungkook tenses up and instantly yelps up, “ah! Red!”
“I’m stopping”, you exclaim and drop the pedal, “you’re safe. I’ll come closer and undo the bindings, okay?” 
“Yes”, he gets out, nodding his head. 
You caress his back slowly as you work with the other hand, studying his face worriedly.
“Are you okay? What happened?” you ask him. 
Jungkook meets your eyes and drops his temple against the metal pole, showing you how truly ruined you got him.
“I’m sorry”, he says.
“If you are sorry about using your safeword, be quiet. I’m happy that you used it. Did it get too much?” 
“Yes, too painful. I didn’t like it anymore.”
“I hear you. I’m sorry that I didn’t catch your signs.”
He shakes his head, “there were none. The pain suddenly felt too real.” 
“I see.” You lean in and kiss his cheek. “Good job for stopping it. I’m sorry for actually hurting you. I never meant to hurt you in a way where it feels real. Can you forgive me?”
“It’s okay, Mommy. It’s not your fault. You did everything right, but my body just had enough. Thank you for being such a good Domme.” 
You smile. He always knows exactly what to say to reassure you. There was never an instance when you felt like a bad Domme or like you had to be ashamed of what you did. He always reassures you and praises you just right.
“Thank you, Bunny. Thank you for being the best sub ever.”
He lets out a shy giggle. You smooch his cheek in reaction. The knot of the ropes finally opens. His weak arms instantly fall down, knocking a surprised groan out of him.
“Sorry, god sorry, I should have warned you. Are you okay?” 
“Yes, but everything hurts. Mommy, I can’t stand for long. I feel dizzy.” 
“Hold onto me. I’m here”, you gasp, instantly picking him up in your arms. 
He drops his head onto your shoulder, limbs wrapped tightly around you. He loves being carried by you. He thinks that it is impressive how strong you are. It is also really hot to him, but he can’t think of that aspect right now. He feels too ruined for it, finding comfort in your arms as you carry him to the sofa.
The sofa in the playroom is soft and has very comfortable cushions to rest on. He sinks into them with a relieved sigh, having to sigh again when you kiss his forehead.
He is currently resting on his side, while you are kneeling next to the sofa. You are facing each other. Jungkook can barely keep his eyes open when you brush his messy hair out of his forehead. He smiles tiredly. You retort it, kissing his forehead again.
“Does it hurt lots?”
“I guess. It feels like a numb pulsing.”
“I see. I’m sorry, Bunnybaby. I’ll get you something for the pain, yeah?”
He nods his head.
“Do you need pain meds as well? Or just something to cool?”
“Just something to cool.”
“Alrighty, I’ll be back really soon.”
You stand up and wrap him up in a warm blanket so he wouldn’t get cold.
“And, Mommy?”
“Yes, Bunny?”
“Maybe something to drink too, please?”
“Of course, Bunny.”
Jungkook sinks into a mixture of wakefulness and sleep while he waits for you to return. He dreams but it feels as if he was just vividly imagining things. It is such a nice and comfortable state to be in. 
He opens his tired eyes when he hears you come back. You are carrying a tray of snacks and whatever else you need to take care of him. 
You kneel down next to the couch, greeting him with a tender kiss to his cheek. 
“Hey, there.”
“Hey, Mommy”, he whispers, smiling sleepily. 
You lift the glass of water closer to him, guiding the metal straw to his lips. You put it there so he wouldn’t have to move out of the position. Jungkook gladly sips from it, gazing at you. He finishes half of the water.
“Good boy. Here’s a little treat for you. Open up.”
Jungkook obeys happily. You put a piece of hard candy on his tongue.
“Mhhhm, my favourite”, he gasps in a pitched voice, letting it melt on his tongue.
“Everything for my Bunny”, you say and kiss his cheek. You wipe the hair from his temple. “Now. I’ll get behind you and wipe some cream on your butt. Is that okay?”
“Yes, ‘is okay.” 
You climb on the sofa, nuzzling yourself into the cozy nook behind his legs. The couch is big enough to house both of you comfortably. It was very important to you and him when you purchased it that it has enough space for both of you. Aftercare for you and him is very touch-heavy. Cuddles, caresses and being physically close are what work best for the two of you. So it was important that your aftercare couch would accommodate these needs comfortably. 
You lift the blanket off his butt, making sure to keep the rest of him covered. You inspect him. Almost the entire space of his buttocks is reddened. In the middle of each cheek, the first indicators of bruises have started to form. No wonder that it got too much for him. Looking at him, it would have taken you maybe three more strikes and you would have stopped it for him. 
“Looking at you, I feel reassured I’m not an awful Domme. I think I would have given you like three spanks max before I’d have stopped it for you. So I still know the signs.”
“You’re not an awful Domme. You’re the best Domme ever. I feel so safe with you”, Jungkook whispers, dragging his words sleepily. 
“Thank you, Bunny”, you say, giving his back a little kiss before you straighten up again. You pick up the tub of cream and put some of the cooling ointment on your fingers. You spread it on his raw buttocks carefully, going especially gently on his bruised spots.
“This feels so good”, Jungkook breathes, body growing slack in relaxation, “I’m so tired.” 
“You can sleep if you need to.”
Jungkook hums. Afterwards, you and he fall into comfortable silence. You use it to massage his tender spots while he falls asleep. Or so you think until he breaks the silence in a soft voice.
“___?”
“Yes?” 
“Do think that it’ll ever stop feeling so good?”
“What do you mean?” 
“Aftercare. It feels so good with you. It’s like coming home. Do you think this will ever stop?” 
“I don’t think it will. At least I hope it won’t. I try to make it nice.”
“It’s so nice.”
You smile fondly, gazing at the back of his head. 
“I don’t think so either. It’ll always feel so good. I know it”, he says and sighs contently.
You look at him, feeling your heart race unbearably. You love this man so much. You have to be closer to him. It is impossible to exist otherwise.
You open the blanket to get under it behind him. You spoon him, wiggling your arms around him. Jungkook melts into you, holding your hand instantly.
“You know that I adore you, don’t you?” you whisper into his hair. 
“I adore you too.” He kisses your knuckles. “And I loved today. Thank you for this. I’d like to do it again someday, just maybe with less spanks.”
You snicker. He does too.
“Mhm yeah, agreed. Less spanks, more edging.”
“Nooo. No edging”, he whines with a pout.
You chuckle, talking between kisses to his face and neck. 
“Yeees, all the edging for you.” 
“Mommy, this is so unfair”, he complains, shivering each time you kiss a new spot. This is so relaxing to him.
“I think it’s fair.”
Jungkook huffs out air and pouts. You laugh fondly, cradling his cheek so you can turn his head to you. He gazes, but pouts for dramatic effect. You decide to take matters into your own hands and kiss his cute pout away. 
Jungkook gladly accepts it, heart racing like crazy in his chest. He turns in your hold, hooking his arms behind your head which naturally deepens the kiss. 
Truly, being with each other feels like home. Even something as serious as using your safewords will always end in comfort and love. That’s what it means to be with your soulmate. 
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hearts4hughes · 2 days ago
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present wrapping - nicholas chavez x fem!reader
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holly jolly november
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you and nicholas are sitting on the living room floor surrounded by wrapping paper, ribbons, and half-wrapped gifts. nick, looking a bit lost, holds a lumpy, unevenly wrapped box in his hands while you can’t help but laugh.
“okay, so… what exactly is this?” you giggle, pointing at his interestingly wrapped present.
with a sheepish grin on his face, he blushes, “a masterpiece? or maybe an abstract art piece. wrapping paper’s like my worst enemy right now.”
“yeah, i can tell.” you smile as he scratches the back of his neck. “give me that, i’ll teach you.”
half-wrapped present in hand, he shuffles closer to you on the floor. you take the present from him, removing the wrapping paper, and placing it down. as you explain to him the steps of present wrapping, he can’t help but be distracted by how pretty you looked under the christmas lights.
you and nick had always been close friends. you met through a mutual friend and clicked instantly. people joked around calling you platonic soulmates and nick always smiled, internally wishing for more. and now, with your soft voice and stunning face, it was harder for him to hide his feelings.
“earth to nick?” you snap at him and raise your brows. “are you even paying attention?”
he blinks his thoughts out of his eyes and nods. “uh- yeah.”
you roll your eyes with a playful smirk. “well, you better be because i’m making you do it yourself afterwards.”
he chuckled. you were always sassy and sarcastic, two of the many things he loved about you.
“and done!” you held up your perfectly wrapped box with a box fastened on top. “why don’t you try it? just fold and tape, it’s pretty simple.” you say it like it’s the easiest thing in the world as you hand him the roll of tape and wrapping paper.
his mouth is agape at how easy you made it seem. “you mean, try to not tape my fingers to the box?”
“exactly. small goals.” you begin laughing as he manages to tape down the paper without issue. he looks at you with a smug expression, taking pride in how he did the first step.
you watch as he focuses, carefully folding the paper like you showed him, his brows furrowed in concentration. there’s something endearing about how hard he’s trying, and you can’t help but smile.
“not bad… okay, okay, you’re actually doing pretty well,” you say, grinning. “maybe i am a good teacher.”
“or maybe you just have the patience of a saint.” he chuckles, nudging you with his shoulder.
finally, he secures the last piece of tape, then looks at the gift, a bit crooked but charming in its own way.
“there,” he says, looking at you proudly. “what do you think?”
“i think you’re a natural.” you both laugh, the sound warm and easy.
there’s a quiet pause, and you realize how close you’re sitting. the christmas lights cast a soft glow, and for a second, you wonder if he’s feeling the same thing you are.
“thanks for helping me… and for putting up with my terrible wrapping skills,” he says softly.
“hey, anytime,” you reply, meeting his gaze, your voice dropping to a whisper. “it’s actually kinda fun.”
a beat of silence falls over the room like snow on christmas eve. the two of you gaze into each others eyes and for a moment, time froze and only the two of you existed. nicholas’s eyes flickered between yours and your lips.
without another word, he leans in, his lips brushing yours in a gentle, unexpected kiss that feels like it’s been waiting to happen for a long time. it’s soft, warm, and perfectly timed, just like everything else tonight.
he pulls back with a smile. “sorry, i-”
you interrupt him, “i don’t mind.” your face is flushed with maroon hues. you try to regulate your breathing.
“good, because i’ve been wanting to do that… well, for longer than i’d like to admit.”
you lean into him with a content smile. in that moment, you felt whole. like whatever had been missing inside of you had suddenly been filled. you both let out a small giggle, content with this now cherished moment.
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