#sorry if it isnt shippy enough

[colfy-wolfy]

trafficlights . traffic lgihts . rtraffic traf ( nsh x srs )

damn ! these robots gay!

good for them. good for them

[moonlit-dreamers]

sorry i kinda went insane after the last eaps vid and i. im obsessed with the new sun OTL

anyway heres some shippy rambles bc i just cant help myself <3 (for context i call the new sun "sunbeam")

eclipse doesnt like sunbeam. at all. hes annoying, loud, erratic, unpredictable but worst of all- clingy. so, *so* horribly clingy. its very obvious that sunbeam is touch starved and he often takes advantage of eclipses near constant tired state and quick acceptance of situations he knows he cant get out of. and when sunbeam latches on, he latches *on*. trying to pry him off is like trying to pull apart metal welded together. the only way hes getting off is if he decides to leave himself.

this often leads to situations where eclipse is trying to do something while sunbeam is wrapped around his arm and following behind or beside him. at first eclipse would fight and try to pry him off but over time hes come to accept that once sunbeam has clinged on he just isnt coming off. any questions that eclipse receives about the situation r swiftly ignored and switched to a different topic.

another thing that sunbeam does (that makes eclipse mildly want to pull his wires out) is visit eclipse every chance he gets. every day, without fail, when the daycare closes he immediately runs to eclipse in the theater lobby. it became a routine even after all the times eclipse tried to push him away.

sunbeam also frequently *insists* that theyre friends despite how much eclipse denies it. eclipse is sunbeams best friend while eclipse just views him as an annoyance. but every time he tries to deny it sunbeam just laughs and says that eclipse is very funny and that its a good joke.

eclipse could do many things to scare sunbeam away but hes just too tired at this point. sunbeam isnt *actually* stopping him from doing anything so... is it really so bad?

and maybe one day sunbeam has a *really* shitty day and all he wants to do is cry and be comforted. so, ofc, he goes to eclipse. i mean- who else can he go to?

but he finds eclipse and somehow manages to make him concerned bc sunbeam was so *quiet*. something was wrong and sunbeam wouldnt say anything and *god damnit* he doesnt know how to deal with this shit! so eventually he just asks wut sunbeam needs and he just latches onto eclipses arm and starts tugging him to follow. eclipse just allows himself to be dragged (bc wtf else is he supposed to do?? sunbeam wouldnt let go anyway).

eventually they make it up to the room in the tower and sunbeam just points at the couch. eclipse is, obviously, very confused. tho he assumes sunbeam wants him to sit so he does. and almost instantly sunbeam is curled up on his lap like a cat and clinging onto him like eclipse might disappear if he doesnt hold tight enough.

and now eclipse is completely stuck and internally yelling at himself for not only letting this happen but also for somewut enjoying it

[cognitosclowns]

Can I request Kate (from the clone lab) x Reader hcs? She's so cute and there's almost no content for her lol

YES OFC YOU CAN I LOVE KATE SO MUCH <33333

ALL SFW!!

OK YOU KNOW THE DRILL, mix of general hc's and some shippy stuff <33

SHE ISNT USED TO VISITORS BUT SHE REALLY DOES APPRECIATE EM

Nobody else works in the clone department bc,,,,, nobody needs to MSNDMSNDS

everything basically runs itself and,, she can handle the rest!

GOD ITS SO LONELY SHE LOVES VISITORS PLEASE <33333

She's perfectly sociable its just. Not many ppl wanna hang around a freezing cold room with a bunch of Creepy Test Tube Bastards Lining The Walls smdnsmd

PLEASE please,, please. please ask about her work.

LIKE I SAID, THE CLONE LAB COLLECTIVELY FREAKS EVERYBODY THE FUCK OUT. NOBODY TALKS TO HER ABOUT HER WORK EVEN THOUGH IT FUCKING ROCKS

it is. 1000% the way to her heart - even if you don't understand half the things she's saying, just having someone to ramble to is so nice <333

SHE ALSO DOESN'T GET,, COMPLIMENTS? She doesn't have a lot of friends, never really had any S/O's bc she's been so invested in her work (and also cause she's nervous she'll make a bad first impression so. she doesn't try for dates)

OHHH <333 tell her she's pretty you'll get this,, BIG cackling excited laugh <3333

she's translucently pale so. when she blushes she BLUSHES. it's all splotchy across her cheeks and the cutest shit ever <3

OH LETS TALK ABOUT THE TUMOUR. SORRY WE'RE SWERVING INTO A TANGENT REAL QUICK

Ever wonder what happens when a person gets trapped in an active cloning machine?

w e l p

I personally hc that!! She keeps her own DNA on file in case smth ever happens to her, Cognito can just clone another version of her and BADABING BADABOOM her research continues!

... problem is she accidentally locked herself inside one of her machines (big, clunky prototype), program started up,,,,, and you can guess the rest. The process of creating a clone is slow, but,,, it also took a while for ppl to realize she'd gotten trapped inside bc nobody works in that area apart from her.

TLDR,,, she has a Clone Tumour and is perfectly unbothered

she suspects that one day it will grow large enough to split from her entirely, much like a cell performing mitosis and she is WAY TOO EXCITED ABOUT THAT SMDNSMDN

because of the placement she can't hear very well out of that ear!! Like sure the tumour has an ear but,, everything she gets out of it is very distorted

It's part of why she talks louder than most ppl!

the other part is bc shes VERY EXCITED ALL THE TIME SMNDSMD

SERIOUSLY SHE IS SUCH A BUNDLE OF ENERGY. Kinda like those cool science teachers who so clearly adore their job and adore the material they're teaching.

LIKE!!! theres so many amazing things in the world how is she not supposed to be excited. is she supposed to sit still and quiet while she watches her bacteria samples like NO!!!! OFC SHE'S GONNA BE EXCITEDLY DRUMMING HER FINGERS ON HER CHIN AND BITING HER TONGUE?? ARE YOU MAD?

SHE PUTS THAT ENERGY INTO EVERYTHING <333 going on a hike? She's gonna purposefully stop to watch some worms.

ASIDE from creating clones <3 SHE LOVES STARGAZING

IDK WHY I CLUNG TO THIS IDEA SO HARD BUT. GOD <333 she loves stargazing - she actually helped with some of the alien autopsies!!

SHE HAS THIS. Massive clunky telescope she's had since she was a kid and,, yeah, sure she could get a new one but why!! This one works perfectly and she knows all its quirks and she <3 loves it. so dearly.

PLEASE SNEAK UP TO THE ROOF WITH HER <3 she has a deal w/ the janitor to leave the door unlocked for her <333

she makes her own star charts!! She loves plotting stars the traditional way <333 LIKE SURE SHE CAN ALREADY FIND ALL THIS INFO BUT MAKING IT HERSELF IS SO SOOTHING. She has stacks upon stacks bound in a big leather book and they're all. so beautiful <3

ALSO??? perfect time to braid her hair <333 just,, sit behind her on the ground <3 and gently braid her hair. give her little kisses and watch her playfully hide her face <333 and make jokes about how you're messing up her measurements <3 ougogugogughhe

STOPPING THIS HERE BEFORE IT GETS TOO LONG SDNMSND <33333 LMK IF YOU HAD SMTH ELSE IN MIND!!! I will talk about her any day of the week smdnsd shes,, so funky

[dyxnamicart]

my stupid highschool oneshot thing

look im not a writer, (I used to be when I was fourteen, haven’t done it since then so ya know, you dont use it you lose it lmao)

Anyways this has been highly requested that I post it, im a bit mad because its not exactly how I wish their dynamic was, I’m not great at writing banter (or anything i’m an artist now plewse) but ya know Also DISCLAIMER: This is a piece of fiction, it in no way reflects real life Dan and Phil (In fact my au switches up their personalities a fair bit) and do not tag them okAY P E O P L E They dont wanna see it and I dont want them to see it (Even if this isnt a particularly shippy piece lmao people are getting very angsty as of late) I also don’t have an editor so sorry for any mistakes  Anyway here ya go heathens 

Dan didn’t notice the opposing teams jock barrelling towards him, not until his leg had swept under his own, causing him to fly through the air, ball no longer in his possession. 

In fact it all flew by in a matter of seconds. Dan didn’t really have time to process exactly what was happening until he felt the shock of pain that travelled up his wrist and down his arm as he landed heavily onto it, crying out as he rolled once or twice before coming to a stop… He couldn’t really tell. There was a whistle blow, but the bustling around him seemed dull in comparison to the loudness of the pain in his wrist. 

He hissed as he was righted, pulled up and put steadily on his feet, being ushered to the benches, it only felt like five minutes before the game was back on course, bar Dan to be left on the sides, a few claps on the back from his teammates as he let his head come down from the spinning it was doing. 

The nurse on staff did a pretty shoddy job of bandaging, but to her credit she did ask if he wanted an ambulance. If his dad knew an ambulance was called because he hurt his wrist... he didn’t even want to imagine the searing look of disappointment he would receive. 

So he just declined. 

The game was one of the final ones of the season, they were playing against the local private school, which had a surprisingly amount of suspiciously beefed up kids, though with private school money Dan wasn’t surprised they probably had some ins with the law and extra ‘help’. 

He really wanted to play in the final, in fact his coach had even been considering him for the team, not that Dan was amazing at football, but he wasn’t the worst. He was passable at best, probably why his parents weren’t here right now to witness the semi, something he supposes he should be counting his lucky stars for now he had an injury as mediocre as a sprained wrist, but now there was a nagging pull in his gut of his own disappointment. 

He waited out the game on the bench, figuring he should at least be there for his team for the results, even with a sprained wrist he didn’t want to run away without at least talking to a few of his mates afterwards. 

-

Phil didn’t see the tumble. 

He was perched up in the bleachers, trying to ignore the way the mild and darkening sky had began to stew whipping winds that tore right through the threads in his sweater, by sketching insurmountable things he could see. 

He didn’t usually go to games, not only was it not his scene, but he would either end up insanely bored or find his eyes following Dan Howell’s god damn limber body. But this was the semis, and he totally wasn’t here to occasionally glance at a certain panting number 91, he at least wanted to show his support for the school. It wasn’t his fault this game was boring and his sketchbook looked far more inviting. 

He only looked up when there was a big murmur and gasps coming from the crowd around him, and he couldn’t see who it was at first, but there was a boy sprawled on the ground. 

It didn’t take long to figure out it was Dan, and his eyebrows furrowed deeply, closing his sketchbook and shoving it into his bag. He ended up walking down a few rows in the bleachers, just trying to see if the daft idiot was okay, and he sat down again much closer. The nurse did an awful job at bandaging his hand, he could see that from here, and he would have to fix it after the game. Well.. he didn’t have to, of course, but he figured Howell was too much of an airhead to fix it properly and as much as the other grated on him he at least wanted him to be comfortable. 

When it came to the end of the game, Phil’s school lost, and there was a brief celebration for the other school as they paraded off the field, while Dan’s team just huddled around to talk to the coach and then walk to the locker rooms, obviously trying to act casual even if they had essentially just been eliminated from the finals. 

Looking around, a lot of the families and students were milling out, many of them disappointed by the outcome of the game.  

This was their star team, and there had been a surprisingly large turnout for the event, to have it all end this anticlimactically felt a bit wrong, if he was being honest, even if sports definitely weren’t his thing. 

Phil headed down towards the locker rooms, some of the boys were already heading out, chatting and bumping into each other as they walked. Boys were talking, over half of them shirtless. He tried to avoid looking at them, while Phil had come to terms with his sexuality internally, he wasn’t out to his school, despite the obvious digs lots of the jocks and ‘cool kids’ would make. He wasn’t exactly subtle. 

Dan hadn’t noticed him, he was sitting on a bench and chatting to a teammate, but some of the boys closer to the entrance had. 

“Ay! It’s Danny’s little bitch, what’s new Lester?” A boy Phil knew as Jason laughed, throwing an arm around his shoulders, leaning heavily on him. 

Phil grunted, and shoved him off. “I’m not anyone’s bitch. Especially not Howell’s.” 

There was an ‘oo’ that rippled through the boys, and it was safe to say that Dan had noticed him. He furrowed his eyebrows, and stood up. 

“A teacher told me to help Dan.. carry his stuff with his hand like that.” He faltered off, because that half baked excuse really did make him sound like someone’s bitch. But by this point people were beginning to lose interest and ended up either packing up to leave or going back to chatting amongst themselves about a hot girl or something Phil honestly couldn’t care less about. 

Phil walked towards Dan, throwing on a mastered look of indifference and annoyance.

“What are you doing back here?” The brunette sighed deeply, running his good hand through his hair. “As if I don’t already get clowned on enough from seeing you during actual school hours.” He said dryly. 

Phil rolled his eyes. “I saw that sad excuse for a nurse ‘wrap’ your hand. I’ve seen children under the age of 4 wrap toilet paper around themselves better.” 

Dan groaned as he fell back to his sitting position on the bench. “Good deed Lester huh? You aren’t a guardian angel you know.” 

“Are you going to turn down actual help with that wrist, Howell. Seriously.” He dropped his bag on the ground, and knelt down, ignoring the few whistles he got from the people still in the room. 

Dan rolled his eyes as he looked down at Phil, arched eyebrow and holding his injured wrist with his hand, like he didn’t trust him. “Fine.” He sighed, setting his hand down on his leg, looking down at Phil with a suspicious and unless he was imagining it, flushed face. 

Phil carefully lifted the brunettes injured hand, frowning at the small pang of guilt he felt when Dan hissed in a sharp breath, quiet, as if being a little louder would shatter his reputation in one fell swoop. 

By now the locker room had basically emptied out, Dan’s mates sauntered away, hefting their heavy gym bags over their shoulders as their voices echoed down the hallway and slowly faded into the cool night air. 

Dan and Phil sat in silence for a few moments as Phil examined the bandage. Dan seemed to relax a little, and he allowed the feeling of calm to wash over them now there was no eyes examining their every move. The indifference and hostility seemed to drain from the air.

He didn’t know if it was the late night game or the lack of people, but he felt as though he was back before highschool, back before their fall out. Before their life became a series of quips and tension seeping into the fond memories he once had for the boy in front of him. 

“Why do you play, when you end up hurting yourself like this?” His question was genuine, none of the concealed fire that was usually behind his voice when he talked to Dan. 

Phil used his other hand to unroll the bandage. He had seen the first aid kit it came from, the contents being the single bandage, two band aids and a single cotton swab. Not the most ideal for a sport like this, hands on and physical, but their school wasn’t really known for their state of the art resources. 

Dan looked unsure of whether or not he should give a witty response or answer seriously. In the end he seemed too exhausted to spit out a clever one liner. So he opted for the truth. 

“I don’t know..” Dan huffed a breath out of his nose, like he was out of practice with talking about his emotions. “The guys are cool.. people like a jock you know?” He pauses for a moment, like he was struggling with whether or not he wanted to continue. “And I kind of want my dad to be proud of me? You know my dad. I want him to think.. I’m one of the lads. One of the boys.. not a royal screw up son.” He snorted, good hand rubbing the back of his neck like he was trying to play off his words as ridiculous. 

But Phil didn’t laugh. 

“Proud of you?” He repeated, slightly quieter as he slowly started to wind the bandage around Dan’s stiff wrist. 

Dan shrugged, looking away and seemingly focusing on a spot far across the room, like he was trying to be anywhere but here, talking to a friend who had been distanced by time and change. 

But Phil remembers, he remembers his curly brown hair bouncing around when he was excited, when he was jumping around playing cops and robbers, he remembers his loud and boisterous laugh and the way his cheeks dimpled and filled with colour. He remembers a time when he knew the boy in front of him more then he knew anyone in the world. When he thought Dan was his forever friend and that nothing would ever change that. 

Guess something changed. 

“You know I’m proud of you,” He continued, not looking up from bandaging. He could feel Dan’s eyes on him now, he could feel the incredulous and doubtful eyes bore into his skin, see into his soul. He didn’t seem to have expected an actual answer in response. “I’m proud of you when I see you play piano. When I see your eyes light up and when you lose yourself in the keys. When you recite dumb Shakespearen poetry and when you are on stage commanding the spotlight, when the only person who matters is you. That’s what I’m proud of. That’s what makes me think, THIS is Dan Howell. THIS is who he is meant to be. Not a shallow jock with a sharp tongue and attitude. I’m proud of the real you.��

He clipped the bandage pin on the end of the roll, now safely locked on Dan’s wrist, and he went to pull his hand away but was stopped by a hand placed over his. 

Dan’s eyes were how he remembered, not in way they were for the past two years, glazed over as he tried to cram his way into a puzzle he didn’t fit into, but filled with an unfathomable tenderness and something he couldn’t quite put his finger on 

They didn’t need to exchange words, the soft smile Dan gave him spoke a thousand words, making up for time that felt lost before now. 

He stood up, finally dropping Phil’s hand and grabbing his jacket off the bench. “Come on, I’ll walk you home.” 

-

Their silence was welcoming as they walked down the hall towards the exit. The last few years had been full of quips and jabs, fast insults and banter that sometimes toed the line as not quite friendly. This silence, it was new, but it felt right. Dan couldn’t quite understand, but there was a shift that felt comfortable. 

Dan had known Phil a long time, longer then anyone in this god forsaken school. He was quiet and reserved and he enjoyed painting and drawing. He was creative, and he didn’t care what people thought of him. He was unapologetically himself, and that was something that he only wished he could be. 

For the longest time it was him and Phil. Dan and Phil against the world, playing Mario cart and watching shitty movies, always at each other’s houses like they belonged together. 

Then high school happened.

The desire to fit in hit Dan like a ton of bricks. While Phil was content to remain a Mario kart loving geek, Dan couldn’t stand being the butt of the joke. He couldn’t stand his dad being disappointed whenever he brought Phil home to do something nerdy. As the years went by it became a sort of crutch for him and Phil to make snide remarks at each other as they passed in the halls, glaring across the halls and that’s how it stayed. 

Don’t get him wrong, he loved to see Phil riled up. He loved to see his eyebrows furrow together and his eyes roll. His arms crossed and his posture unimpressed. If anything that was his favourite part, the way his voice flooded with heat and passion, as he stared at him with the intensity of a bonfire. He loved to tease him and play his surprisingly short temper like a fiddle.

But he wasn’t attracted to him. No way. Phil wasn’t a pretty girl. He did NOT find his eyes pretty and the way his hair sometimes fell into his eyes and his hands didn’t itch to run his hands through it. 

He was straight. He had to be. 

His heart dropped a little, and he couldn’t explain why, but he looked over at Phil, who was walking beside him. 

They were outside now, and it was raining, not too heavily but enough to get you fairly wet. Despite the fact Phil was wearing a sweater and long overalls, he could see him shiver, the fabric of the sweater probably allowed the biting wind to nip tight through it.

He shrugged off his jacket, and gently wrapped it around Phil’s shoulders, forcing them to stop momentarily. The street light cast a soft light over them, and his eyes met the other boys, and for a moment they stared at each other, Dan watching as raindrop followed the contours of Phil’s face, a drop following his cheekbone and the slope of his jaw. 

He coughed, rubbing the back of his neck again as he started walking. “Okay okay, lets get you home, Lester.” 

“Are you sure you aren’t cold?” Phil enquires inquisitively as he sped walked a bit to catch up with him. 

He shrugged. “Still running on adrenaline I guess.” It was a lie, he was slightly cold. But it felt right, and he continued to walk with him in silence. 

Phil was holding the jacket around himself as they approached his house, and they stopped just under the porch, the light flickering on to illuminate his face. 

Dan stuffed his good hand in his pocket, and he clicked his tongue as Phil went to shrug off the jacket to give back. “Nah, wash it first, don’t want your nerd germs on my clothes.” Despite the insult, he found himself smiling warmly, and Phil too just chuckled. 

“Alright, I’ll give it to you on Monday or something, Howell.” 

Dan saluted as he turned to walk away, and he could feel Phil staring through his back as he walked back into the rain. They were only a street apart, but he knew that was going to be one long walk. 

[drawsby-mandi]

I AM BACK HOME AND I WOULD LIKE TO ADD A THOUGHT I HAD INSPIRED BY THIS POST, IF I MAY:

It's Toshinori who asks Inko on a date, as he's unaware that Inko is still a married woman despite her husband being absent for so many years. She rejects him at first because she's been deprived of romance and partnership for so long that she doesn't know if she's able to put herself out there again (and she's also still married, and she doesn't know if it'll be wrong of her to throw away such that lifelong promise she made so long ago).

((Also how would Izuku react?? Would this offend him in some ways??? Would he be upset?? Embarrassed??? What if he doesn't want to eat Katsudon with her anymore??¿))

Toshinori isn't aware of the marriage until Izuku brings it up one day during lunch (he pulled him away from Uraraka and Iida just for this specific problem). Toshi then asks the boy if it would be wrong of him to push such romantic affections onto his mother; he's never been in a romantic relationship (maybe a few romantic nights with different women in his younger years), but he knows that Inko makes him feel so warm and happy and normal that he can't stop that aching feeling of wanting to be with her. Is it selfish of himself to want a married woman? Is it wrong that it happens to be his successor's mother? Does this make him uncomfortable? Izuku, it's okay if you tell me it's wrong and makes you uncomfortable, I'll back off and--

Toshinori has to stop his rambling because Izuku is crying, and he was so lost in thought that he hadn't noticed it. Immediately he believes it's because 'yes, this is wrong how dare you try and intrude into my family like this' and that makes Toshi feel like the crappiest mentor in the world (Gran Torino would laugh in his face and make fun of him if he just saw what was happening), but Izuku, through his hiccups and sobs, quickly erases that thought.

No, he's not crying because he hates the situation. He's crying because it's been so long since he's ever heard someone speak so lovingly about his mother and he's happy that someone actually wants to stay by her side. He tells the hero how his father's long term absent has left his mother alone and heartbroken all these years, and it's been hard on Izuku watching his mom separate herself from the world because she's afraid of facing that heartbreak yet again.

That is why Inko was quick to reject Toshinori's offer, but Izuku can see how she lights up when Toshinori comes for visits and checks up on them. He can see how long their conversations last without either of them growing bored, how she remembers his favorite tea and how he remembers her favorite type of flower. Izuku knows that his mom did not reject his mentor because she wasn't interested, because she definitely is.

"Please, it would make me so happy if you were to ask her out on a date. It would make her the happiest woman in the world to know that someone out there is willing to care for her instead of the other way around."

Toshinori is so touched by the words he's hearing that he has no words to respond with at all.

But, he does know that after this conversation, his feelings for Inko have grown more intense, and he's more determined to try for that date.

(Izuku gives him a few ideas, and the boy is so darn clever that he doesn't see why he doesn't try these date ideas on his own with his crush)

((Cue broccoli boy blushing a deep red and furiously denying having such romantic feelings))

__________

I'm going to stop here, because this post would be super long, but @upperstories has the cutest Toshinko ideas! I hope you don't mind me adding this quick little idea here. ;u;

Thinking up More Cute Toshinko Things

Toshinori can’t handle large meals because of his surgeries, so Inko packs lots of high calorie snacks—like peanut butter crackers, almond butter/hazelnut butter packets, and protein shakes—to keep him from collapsing throughout the day. The minute she starts to notice him crashing, or his hands start shaking, she breaks out the snack bag.

Toshinori has to force himself to take small steps so Inko can keep up with him on outings, a difficult feat with his bamboo legs. They come in handy though. If she needs help traversing a wide gap or a puddle, he’ll gladly show off being able to lift her over it.

Inko drags Toshinori through the market district because he comes in handy with haggling. She might be a law-abiding citizen, but she’s not above guilting skeevy stall owners into giving her a discount on otherwise overpriced radishes in order to “serve Japan’s No. 1 Hero”.

Despite getting along, they argue over the smallest things. When to go to bed. What to have for breakfast. What they thought of a recent baseball game. They never fight, but they banter (like an old married couple). Don’t call them out on it though, or else they get self conscious about their banter, wrongfully worrying that they offended each other.

Inko learns that Toshinori has a slight affection towards rabbits, and surprises him with a day trip to Ōkunoshima (Rabbit Island). He spends most of the day lying on his back in the grass, swarmed by hundreds of puffballs and trying to retain whatever shred of dignity he feels he has left (eventually succumbing to crying over how cute all the bunnies are). He “gets revenge” by taking Inko to a Kitty Cafe. They both have hundreds of smartphone photos of the other holding kitties and rabbits (respectfully) and crying.

[akawhiskeyy-blog]

in which i react to the chatzy because replies are hard: 

Edward and Isabella try to solve their Jessica Jones dilemma

yah the dilemma being that she sEES THROUGH YO SHIT U 2 

it goes on like this for a while.

“Honestly, Jessica Jones has been irritating me for weeks.”

you’ve talked to her twice. and texted once. AND U INITIATED 2/3 OUT OF THESE

There was nothing Edward hated more than getting struck in the face. 

sucks to sucks snek. ALSO U R SO MELODRAMATIC SHE DIDNT EVEN HIT YOU  HARD OMG SHE COULD LITERALLY CAVE IN YOUR SKULL IF SHE WANTED TO U GOT OFF LUCKY OKAY

“But soon you won’t have to. I can promise you that much.”

do u wanna die edward nygma. do u. 

Jessica Jones had crossed a line. 

gurl. jessica jones crosses lines like its her goddamn job

She had listened to her drunken ramblings, and offered her help, and politely asked her to stay out of their lives.

pulling out receipts:  “Oh, I’m so glad I could help you. Do me a favor and please stop texting Edward“ -- such polite sarcasm. write the next miss manners ok. also, u sat down next to her and ur offer of help only came after you insulted her a lot.  

This wasn’t his fault, after all.

kilgrave made him do it

she didn’t want the other woman dead.

“Well, that’s your choice. Drink yourself to death.” r u sure isabella u seem confused

If he proposed murder, she had another idea up her sleeve, but she wanted him to lead.

just casually accepting that her boyfriend might propose murder. BUT JESS IS THE CRAZY ONE OKAY. also, isabella, thought u werent a sidekick

I need more information on her before I can start plotting something. She can’t get away with hitting me, or toying with our relationship though

from cheesy bond villain to five year old to ‘casually insisting we’re in a relationship even tho we never talked about it’  -- the faces of edward snekma

No one was allowed to hit him like that. No one was allowed to publicly embarrass him.

everyone needs 2 hit you okay. how bout u calm down. it was an empty park in the middle of the night, public only by technicality

Where Edward’s rage was fiery, and his every word burned with anger, Isabella’s fury was glacial and restrained. 

i have nothing funny to say here, this is just a beautiful image

“She has shared a lot with me over these past few weeks. I know about her past.”

R U FUCKING KIDDING ME ISABELLA JUST HO W DARE IM S CREAMING I CANNOT HANDLE THIS WAHT THE ACTUAL FUCK

bonus:

cold and triumphant.

bitch u aint won nothing yet. unless u triumphant that u a bitch

despite his anger for Jessica, he felt a warm fondness for the woman in front of him. She was a force. Intelligent – enough to keep up with him but not quite at his level. He respected and adored that. She was gorgeous as well.

when u wanna plot revenge but YOUR GF IS JUST SO DAMN HOT 

“Isabella, do tell me what she’s shared.”

did u intentionally phrase this as a COMMAND and not a QUESTION because I’M SHOOK 

She wanted to knock Jessica Jones off her moral pedestal, and show the other woman that she had chosen this. She had chosen Edward.

MORAL PEDESTAL HAVE YOU EVER MET JESSICA JONES SHE IS THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF A GARBAGE CAN, SHE TAKES BRIBES, BREAKS INTO PEOPLE’S HOUSES, AND HATES BUBBLES. WHAT KIND OF MORAL PEDESTAL IS THAT. HER MORAL PEDESTAL IS A WHISKEY BOTTLE 

also uh huh sure u did bby u keep telling urself that this is allll ur choice

Killing the guy who had hurt her had clearly damaged her

jessica was damaged long before that shit, u have no idea

“Well, she’s a murderer” 

okay u have some idea ALSO WTF HOW DARE. YOU’RE JUST GONNA TAKE THIS AND DROP IT IN LIKE YOU’RE MENTIONING THE WEATHER?? WELL, IT’S SNOWING. WELL, DON’T FORGET TO PICK UP THE MILK. WELL, SHE’’S A MURDERER. AND ALL WHILE SITTING ACROSS FROM YOUR ACTUAL MURDERER. WHO YOU LIVE WITH. 

and then u take a sip of tea, i fucking did u just

i can see why ed likes u UR BOTH SO EXTRA. SNEKTRA. 

back up:

Isabella met Edward’s gaze and couldn’t remember what it had been like to hate him in that all-consuming, festering, corrosive way. Now, all of her rage was directed at the woman who had dared to insult her by suggesting that she’d been controlled, who had the audacity to hit him.

had the goddamn balls to hit him more like. also, look at how isabella is aware that she’s transferred her anger from ed to jessica, but doesn’t see this aS AN ISSUE. bc when you have to twist your moral viewpoint enough to see your abuser/murderer as the love of your life, everyone else who doesnt accept that viewpoint becomes the enemy

“I think that’s why she turned to alcohol. His death really weighs on her conscience. She was lying on the sidewalk, drunk, when I last saw her.” She wrinkled her nose in disgust. “I think she’s homeless, too, which may come in handy.”

listen we dont talk about jessica jones’ alcoholism okay we DONT. especially when our name is hissabella. & fuck u, she was tired ok. ALSO SHE HAS A HOTEL ROOM OKAY SHE ISNT TOTALLY HOMELESS

A murderer she said. Well, there was tons of things he could do to her now. Tons of games and traps he could set up with that theme in mind. She thought she was all high and mighty but she killed just as Edward had. She wasn’t so different from him at all.

u strangled your girlfriend, chopped her up, murdered the guy who caught you burying the body, and before all that you murdered your girlfriends previous boyfriend bc u thought u were a white knight. 

jessica killed her literal stalker/abuser because he was more dangerous alive than dead and still feels haunted by it every day. she spent weeks avoiding that exact option. totally the same

Edward was making a life for himself, he was moving on and redeeming himself to society and then she came with her high morals and smacked him right in the face with it. Now it was coming out that she was a hypocrite. 

u were thinking about killing a woman who bruised you two minutes ago. also, you killed a woman and framed the joker, like yeah, totes reformed. rather be a hypocrite than DELUSIONAL. high morals omg, she just asked u not to be a dickhole to the woman u murdered

“Oh, dear.” He purred.

jfc edward i cant with u

“Oh, did he ever want to torture her for believing she was better than he was... She couldn’t better herself and be a productive member of society. *

how do u start a paragraph wanting to torture someone and end it believing that you are a better asset to society omfg 

“Isabella… I can’t believe people just tell you all of this. God you’re… incredible. I bet that you can get information from anyone you please! With ease.” What an asset she would be to the Riddler.

and to this diiiiick  (im so sorry, but its sami & sophies fault for getting shippy in the middle of THIS. MURDER-PLANNING & CHILL JFC. 

Watching Edward think was a genuine privilege, and Isabella smiled as he took in her information.

r u goddamn serious right now, o h  m y  g o d

that Isabella was stupid and easily manipulated, and controlled

jessica has said exactly none of these things. 

There was a new cadence when Edward spoke, a chilling note that she had never heard before, and it sent a pleasant shiver down Isabella’s spine.

ew. ick. BAD TOUCH. 

 He was right, of course. Jessica Jones was a hypocrite, projecting her hatred of the man who had hurt onto Edward. They were nothing alike.

right. nothing. not at all. except that you’re both victims of horrific traumas who got the chance to face down their abusers and who feel haunted by memories and cant get in cars, sure.

“Hypocrisy, thy name is Jessica Jones,” Isabella replied, smiling.

y r u like this

“Oh my, thank you, Edward,” she said, unable to keep the happiness out of her tone.

THIS IS A MURDER PLOT NOT A 1950S SITCOM

I can get more information from Jessica, but I would have to lie about you. I’m sorry.

i just. i cant. how did u go from pointing a gun at this man to apologizing for potentially lying about him in the future in order to help him get revenge on another woman who did basically nothing to you???

Reaching after she did and taking her hand. He saw her reaching hers out as an invitation for Ed to hold hers.

holding hands, talking about revenge, the perfect couple

It would be beneficial for us if she is to believe we are not in cahoots at all. Give it a little time to cool off and then go to her – crying, preferably. It would be easier to work against her if she trusts you.

firstly, ed becomes a cartoon western villain at the beginning of this sentence. also COMMAND, COMMAND, COMMAND. but sure isabella, ur in total control here, as you let ed tell you every little thing to do

You said this man was terrible to her? Probably an abuser? Dig up information on what he was like by speaking to her. I’ll try and find files on him or any information at all, really. I want to get his voice down pact. A perfect imitation. 

NO NO NO NON NO NO NO NO ONO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO 

DO NOT DO THAT DO NOT HOW I JUST I HAVE ACTUAL PHYSICAL PAIN READING THIS BIT

He smiled, almost cruelly at what he had in mind. They could bring this man back to life in her memory and torment her easily with him. Rub who she had killed right in her face so she knew that she was not the moral woman she wanted to believe she was. So she was reminded by what she had done.

ALMOST CRUELLY. ALMOST. BECAUSE THIS ISN’T THE HELL JESSICA ALREADY GODDAMN LIVES THROUGH EVERY GODDAMN DAY. L O L. ALMOST. 

They were together on this. Holding Edward’s hand like the affirmation that Jessica hadn’t broken them, the way she’d planned to.

but he’s taking the lead, bc hes cute when hes being a patriarchal bastard. also, ‘planned’ gives jessica jones way too much credit. her plans suck way worse than this. 

judged Edward to some insane moral standard that didn’t even allow him to defend himself. 

YOU MEAN THE MORAL STANDARD OF DONT KILL YOUR EX GIRLFRIEND AND MAKE HER FEEL LIKE YOU RUINED HER LIFE ONCE UPON A TIME??

As she thought of all the chances she’d given that woman, every offer to help her, Isabella felt the righteous anger freezing her veins again. 

again. u met twice. talked 3 times. 

It would be a fascinating character study. A chance to observe Jessica’s reactions to emotional stimuli in a controlled environment. 

what the ever loving fuck isabella when the hell did you fall this far YOU’RE NOT TALKING ABOUT OBSERVING AN EXPERIMENT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT DESTROYING A WOMAN’S LIFE FOR THE LOLZ 

And Isabella was a very adept liar, and she didn’t often get to put that skill into practice. 

UR ALSO A VERY ADEPT SNEK hissabella. krisssssten

say that I’ve cut you off.” She held his hand a little tighter when she spoke, to reassure him that she wouldn’t dream of doing that.

gag. look how desperate she is -- trying to convince him or herself hmmm?

“We can make her think he’s come back from the dead! I’m proof that’s possible, after all.”

have i mentioned that i fucking h8 u omg

“How are you so perfect?”

at this point, the chatzy devolves into a shippy shippy shipfest. they stop plotting like 80s villains and start acting like a 50s couple. they decide to move in, but isabellas sleeping in the guest room, wink-wink. and then there’s these two bits:

Was he not reformed?

… He would do this one thing. Torture Jessica, then he’d go back to the normal, bland life he had been fighting for, for five years.

you sound thrilled about that idea edward. 

How had she ever thought she could live without Edward?  She had been pieces of two people, disconnected and fragmented, but orbiting her life around him was pulling her together again. 

when isabella first got to starcity, she was alllll about making a life for HER. a life outside of what ed & oswald & the court did to her. and now, she’s filled the holes in herself with bits of him and let him take over her whole life

they were both trying so hard to make new lives, but the second this old flame came back, they threw themselves on the fire

[piraticalarchive]

SHIPPING INFO // answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog. REPOST. don’t reblog.

WHAT’S YOUR OTP FOR YOUR MUSE?: my otp is clearly Hook + Guy. I mean if you can’t tell that … hot damn. I’ve never really shipped anything from the show to that extent but I guess if I had to pick a ship from ouat with hook it would be captain wolf. but ruby got her happy ending with dorothy so sorry kil.

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO RP WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?:

i’m really into rp’ing just about anything. I don’t do so well with mindless fluff unless we’ve been writing a while because killian is one of those people who has to like have emotion for someone in order to do fluff and it doesnt come easily. there has to be a reason he lets them in etc etc and i have a hard time just jumping in and writing snuggled up in bed things or w/e. Also i can be pretty bad at smut. I angst over it, truly. Im so afraid i suck at it and i get so self conscious when im on the dash that i can just really take forever with smut. i have to know you pretty well to smut with you at this point and i honestly think the only person im comfortable enough to do it with is amy (pun fully intended cough)

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?: I don’t really care about age gaps. My parents are 11 years apart and i mean im in a relationship with age difference. As long as they are both of age i dont really give a fuck. now there are some gaps that wouldnt necessarily make sense to me as far as my muse goes but thats not the same thing as being uncomfortable

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?: OH GOD YES. i blame killian. there are so many ships i would have but honestly he has so many important other things on his mind. hes fine with short flirting and dalliances and stuff like that but it takes so much to distract him from his own inner demons so shipping can be really hard. hes pretty arrogant and thinks everyone is pretty beneath him at times so its hard to catch his interest in a way that means his gaze is on you longer than it normally would be

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY’RE CONSIDERED NS.FW?: usually when i talk about grabbing things be it the other muse’s ass or .. somewhere else. I tend to be a liberal tagger though so it will often get the nsfw ish // tag just in case

WHO ARE OTHER MUSES YOU SHIP YOUR MUSE WITH?: literally i only ship with amy’s guy right now. Though tbh I can see a thing happening with her emma and i can also see a thing with hook + anne bonny but its really up to the muse. he doesnt ship easily so i just sort of have to sit here and wait and see what happens

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?: i honestly prefer if people dont? because then i feel like i have to write shippy things or force it out and im much more comfortable just seeing where it goes. like in a tag to a reply or something mentioning ‘ oh (insert muse) has it bad’ is fine because then we can amp up the flirting or whatever but yeah i dont like messages about ships because it always makes me feel like its being plotted and isnt open ended

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP?: i fucking love to ship

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?: oh god. a little bit of both???

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?: technically yes bc ive never said otherwise but the muse does what the muse wants and he’s never really gone longterm with anybody other than Guy

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?: um. like a once fandom thing? mulan/aurora. Like a Hook rp’er thing? GUY AND HOOK HANDS DOWN BYE

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?: just write with me. see what happens.

tagged by: @beruthielthequeen tagging: literally anyone who wants to do this. have at it mates  !!