#sorry if i had not talked about maggie

[scarecrowgoat]

BTW IF ALL OF THE PREVIOUS ASKS DID NOT MAKE SENSE TO YOU, THESE SRE MY OCS

from left to right: maggie (she/her), felipe (he/him) and viktor (he/him)

[heathermason6060]

Daryl Dixon x f!Reader Smut: Stars in the Dark

Warnings/Mentions: Smut, unprotected p in v, emergency contraceptives, slight alcohol consumption, reader is strong (minor description)

Summary: You're a former farm hand at the Greene Farm. You swoon over the new hunter, and he notices.

Notes: This was one of the first requests I got and I'm so sorry it took me this long to put it out! I hope you're still around anon, and you enjoy.

It was an unusually cool day. 

You sat on the front porch of the Greene house, watching as the strangers that were slowly becoming friends did their daily chores. Carol sat in the center of their camp, scrubbing clothes in a bucket next to Lori, who was hanging them up to dry. Andrea sat on the top of the RV, switching between her gun scope and her binoculars to observe the tree line. There was a man beside her, the one that was with Otis when he died, was his name Shawn? Shane?

It was hard to remember their names, there were so many of them.

But you didn't have trouble remembering Daryl’s name. Especially considering how often you would whimper it into your pillow at night. 

You felt your cheeks heat up at the idea of him, your legs switching from being crossed at your ankles to your knees, the rocking chair beneath you swaying slightly. 

Your eyes drifted to the man you'd been thinking of, watching as he walked back to the camp for lunch after spending the morning hunting. You'd been seeing more of him, especially after the whole incident with the walkers in the barn, something not even you had known about. You knew they were there, sure, but you had no idea the little girl they were looking for had been in there the whole time. 

The Greene family had kept it from you for a while. You had gone to school with Maggie, Hershel's daughter, and she was able to get you a spring job working at her farm with the horses and cattle. They were even kind enough to let you have their spare bedroom downstairs near the back door. It was tiny, but it was free lodging, and you loved it. 

That spring job turned into a summer job once the infection started. Hershel had done a pretty good job convincing you of his beliefs. You had little medical experience, mostly just patching up animals at the farm, especially the barn cat PeePoe, but you liked to believe Hershel knew what he was talking about. Even if it seemed a little farfetched. So, you kept their secret and minded your own business. 

You were sort of glad Shane forced the whole thing to happen. The walkers in the barn were starting to really creep you out, especially with how much they began to rot over time. 

The movement of two people sneaking around to the back of the house caught your eye and you saw Maggie and Glenn, something you'd grown accustomed to. She had a big smile, full of excitement and nervousness, and Glenn just looked thrilled to be there. You watched as they disappeared to the back workshop and felt envy bubble in your stomach. 

The sound of that familiar gruff voice that you'd gotten really good at imagining at night startled you. You looked up and away from beside you, your mouth slightly open in surprise, not having heard him walk up on the porch. 

“Hi?” You looked up at him, awkward and embarrassed from your earlier thoughts. You weren't used to seeing him so up close. He smelled like cigarettes and something else, something artificial, and when you saw him chewing something you realized it was the very faint scent of bubblegum. 

“Patricia said you knew the shops in town. Can't find Glenn, and we need supplies for dinner tonight.” His eyes held little emotion, a bit of annoyance maybe. Annoyance at having to ask you, or annoyance at having to go into town instead of Glenn, you weren't sure. 

“Yeah, I do.” You nodded slowly, trying to keep the filthy thoughts from your head as your eyes raked over his face and upper body, catching yourself and quickly looking back up at his face. 

“Good. C'mon.” He didn't ask, he just slung his crossbow over his bloody ripped shirt, which you assumed was from the deer he had bagged that morning. 

Patricia had mentioned to you in passing about wanting to have another group dinner that night, you didn't expect it to actually happen, given how awkward the last one had been at first. With the weather slowly fading into autumn and the crops dying from age, you figured it was necessary to get some supplies from town. 

You didn't leave often. You didn't have a desire, or a need to, but the idea of being alone with Daryl had you almost skipping to his bike. 

As much as you wanted to push Daryl against the wall of the corner store and kiss him till he passed out, you didn't feel like getting humiliated from rejection. You settled for just watching him as he moved, picking up cans and turning them over before stuffing them in his burlap potato sack. 

The sight of his eyes flickering up over the aisle and landing right on yours snapped you out of your dirty daydream. You quickly looked down to your shelf, picking up a can of corn and pretending to be interested in the ingredients in it. Hmm, yes, Corn. 

He eyed you through suspicious slits, having a hard time deciding between being concerned or annoyed.

Daryl didn't know much about you at all. He knew your name, he knew you were younger than Maggie but older than Beth and that you were a newer farmhand. The only people that ever talked about you never really spoke to him.

He did know that you were way too hot to be working on a farm shoveling horse shit. You belonged in a fuckin magazine, one of those that fashion ones Amy used to read back at their first camp in Atlanta. You were fit, you had to be for your job, what you looked like before all the labor-intensive work, he didn't know or care. 

He'd never seen someone as hot as you in person. He couldn't even think of the words to describe you. You looked so out of place at that farm, it was like taking a supermodel and putting her in a gas station. He watched as you put food in your bag, trying not to get hard as his thoughts swiftly changed from admiring your beauty to imagining how you'd look when you came. 

Daryl thought about that way too much already. He thought about it so much that he was confident he was spot on with the image of you he created in his mind. Alone in his far-off tent at night, not having to worry about getting caught, rubbing his dick raw to the thought of you naked, drooling and crying from pleasure under him. 

“Okay, my bag’s full.” Your voice ripped him from his trance and he blinked a few times, realizing he'd been staring at the same can of peas for the past two minutes. 

“Yeah. Alright.” He swept his arm across his shelf, knocking several cans into his bag and two on the floor. You jumped at the sound and he cursed, his brain still not working right with all the blood that went to his dick. 

You peeked over the shelf to see two cans on the floor, one perfectly fine and the other surrounded in a gross pile of butter beans. No loss to you. Daryl snatched the can of diced tomatoes from the floor and put it in his bag, twisting it a few times before slinging it over the shoulder that didn't have the crossbow on it. 

“How the hell are we gonna get these back?” You asked as you walked out the front door, trying not to fall head over heels when he stuck back to hold the door open for you. You thought he was being chivalrous, he just wanted to stare at your ass in those Bobbie Brooks as you walked to his bike. 

“We'll figure it out.” 

And you did, sort of, but it was incredibly awkward with a bag pressed between the two of you on the bike, and the other tied to your torso so it sat behind you. Thankfully, he drove thoughtfully slowly, and you were able to get back to the farm without incident. 

You were happy to let the other women do the cooking, trying to pay attention to the rant Andrea was currently going on about how Lori loved her social norms. 

The wind had grown a bit cooler, sending goosebumps over the back of your neck as the breeze blew through your hair. 

“You ever cook?” Andrea said suddenly, a cautious edge to her voice as if she suddenly realized she had no idea how you felt about gender roles. “Or, like it, I mean?”

“Was more of an outdoor kind of girl.” You chuckled, leaning back in the plastic lawn chair around the fire you sat at. 

Daryl was chopping wood, something you'd never been so interested in before. Andreas' conversation was getting real, real boring. 

“Yeah. I liked fishing myself.” She grew silent after that, and you looked away from Daryl to see she had a far out look in her eyes.

“You okay?” You asked in a gentle voice, only earning a silent nod from her. You took that as your leave and gave her a comforting shoulder squeeze before heading inside. The sun would set in a few hours, and you wanted to change into warmer clothes before dinner. 

You didn't expect to have Daryl sit beside you at dinner. 

You didn't really expect him to come, let alone eat with the group. Last time he’d been stuck in the bed upstairs since he’d been shot by Andrea. You basically froze when you saw the seating arrangements.

 It wasn't really his choice, honestly, everyone sat down so fast, the only two seats that were open were right beside each other. Looked like no one wanted to sit next to Shane. And from the look on his face, you didn't really want to either.

Relief flooded through you when Daryl sat down next to Shane. You took your seat beside Daryl, Andrea on your right. You smiled at Patricia in front of you, only getting a small one in return. 

It wasn't as quiet or awkward as the last dinner. Spirits were a bit higher, although tense with the whole “prisoner in the barn” fiasco. You couldn't recall the name of the man that was currently chained up, but you did know Dale made a scene of fixing him a plate, much to Shane's objection. 

You tried to distract yourself from their bickering by looking at Daryl. A quick bolt of subdued adrenaline coursed through you when you saw he was already looking at you. You looked away almost immediately out of reflex, and deciding against your better judgment, you looked back. He was still looking at you. 

Daryl couldn't figure you out. If he had a bullet for how many times he caught you looking at him, he'd be able to kill every damn walker on earth. 

It never even crossed his mind you were into him before that night. It seemed so farfetched, you were too fuckin pretty to be looking at him like that. Your features were so soft, even after all the work that had toughened your muscles, your face was still so… 

Cute.

 He didn't notice the tugging that had pulled at the corner of his mouth until it was a full-fledged smirk. He was about to look away when he realized how creepy he probably looked, staring down at you smirking without speaking, but the feeling of your knee bumping against his had his eyes locked to yours. 

His smirk slowly faded, being replaced by a more serious expression, until he saw the soft smile on your lips. 

Nah, she's just friendly. He found himself trying to explain away your actions, but a large part of him desperately wanted him to be wrong. Having such a sweet girl look up at him like that was uncharted territory, and his mind slowly drifted away to the idea of your uncharted territory. He would've snorted at the pun if not for the feel of your thigh pressing against his and staying there this time. 

Neither of you had noticed, but the bickering had finally died down, and a different and lighter conversation was taking place. 

Your silent interaction wasn't as private as it felt, the burn of Rick's eyes on his face had Daryl dragging his eyes to the leader of the group, holding so much cold annoyance towards the nosey man that it could've frozen hell. 

Rick just grinned, happy to see at least some people weren't so miserable with how things were going and went back to picking at his plate with his fork, silently chuckling. 

“Do you drink?” Your soft voice broke him from his thoughts, he looked back over to you, his expression softening when he saw you. He couldn't decide if he wanted to take you out back and fuck you in the grass like an animal, or take you to your bed and kiss every inch of your body. 

“Sometimes.” He shrugged, his voice low and quiet amongst the chatter of the table. “Why?”

You shrugged in return, popping an apple slice in your mouth and crunching it before swallowing and speaking. “I found a bottle of wine today at the store. I don't really drink much anymore but wanted to find a reason to.” 

Your open-ended words had him overthinking once again, over analyzing what you meant. Was he the reason to drink? Or did you have one already? Before he could leave you in more silence your thigh moved against his again, bringing his attention back to you. 

“What're you askin’ me?” He needed to hear you clearly state your intentions, not wanting to humiliate himself by accepting a nonexistent request. 

“If you'll join me.” Your voice was quiet, almost too quiet, and it took him a few seconds to process what you'd said. 

He looked you over, his eyes narrowing as he searched your face for any sign of a trick. You smiled nervously, your eyes flickering to and fro, only settling on his eyes for a second a time. Something about you being unable to keep eye contact stirred something in him, something he was painfully unfamiliar with. He wanted to grab your chin and make you look up at him, make you speak up, make you tremble under his touch-

“You can say no.” He snapped out of it to see your smile had faded to fear of rejection. 

“No. I want to.” He answered immediately, nodding and earning another smile from you. 

You met him in the front field, holding your bundled up blanket with the wine bottle inside. You were originally going to bring glasses, but said fuck it, you could drink from the bottle. You did forget to bring a bottle opener, though, something Daryl was happy to help with. 

He took the bottle from you and sat down on the blanket beside you, pulling a switchblade from his back pocket and beginning to work it into the cork.

“Hershel said something about moving you guys inside soon.” You commented as he blew a few chunks of broken cork from his blade. 

“I'll pass.” He grunted, digging the blade back into the cork. 

You looked away, your heart dropping at his words. 

“Can't stop thinking about it.” 

“Huh?” 

“About winter.” You thought you might've just been imagining it, but you swore you saw his face drop in disappointment at your answer. 

Finally, you heard the pop of the cork finally coming out, and he took the first swig, spitting out the few pieces of cork that had fallen in after he demolished the poor thing. 

He handed it back to you and you took a deep swig, trying to get as much courage as possible. You didn't know how to act around Daryl. He was so unpredictable, nothing like the other men you'd crushed on before. They were all easy, quick to accept your subliminal hints. 

But Daryl? You could tell him you wanted to suck his dick till he couldn't breathe, and he'd probably laugh, thinking you were just joking, and go off and hunt or whatever it was he did all day. 

It was easy for your mind to wander in the silence. You handed the bottle back to Daryl as you slowly undressed him in your head, imagining him taking your clothes off, his lips all over your neck, switching between your different fantasies. Rough, violent and painful, sweet, slow and deep, or quick, needy and dirty. You wondered what he would be like, was he experienced? Would he be able to make you cum just with his fingers? Or was he the opposite? Either way you wanted him, so unreasonably bad, you'd never felt this way about a man before. If someone told you a witch put a lust spell on you strictly for him, you'd believe it in a heartbeat. You didn't even know his favorite color. Or what type of music he listened to. 

“Shit, get down.” His hand on your chest pushing you to your back had your heart in your throat. You tilted your head back to see Maggie and Glenn, sneaking away once again. Daryl relaxed at the realization that it was just them and drew his hand away from you. 

“Lucky them.” You grumbled, taking the bottle from him and taking a sip. You were happily buzzed at this point, eager to make conversation but not at the point where you'd make a fool of yourself. 

“Hmm. Yeah.” He agreed, watching as they slipped behind the stables. “Lucky.”

With your newfound courage, you decided to test the waters in a way that you felt seemed completely unsuspecting and not suspicious at all. 

“Must be nice to have someone like that to take your mind off things for a while.” You commented casually, your gaze now back at the stars. 

“Wouldn't know.” His gruff reply gave you motivation to push on. 

“Yeah, me neither.” You couldn't think of the words that wouldn't possibly spook him off. Little did you know, Daryl wasn't some cornered frightful animal, he was thinking of the same things and worse than you. He'd been looking at you, his chest rising and falling in short quick breaths, his eyes all over your body beside him. 

“Those stars look better laying down.” He felt like an obviously desperate teenager after saying that, but when you immediately laid down on the blanket he smirked a bit. Maybe it wasn't such a stupid suggestion. 

He took a deep sip of wine and looked over you, noticing you'd changed back into your jean shorts after dinner. It was odd, he thought, considering the chill in the air, but he wasn't complaining. The way he looked at your bare legs was akin to someone on a diet looking at a plate of fresh, hot salty fries. His mouth watered, not from the idea of fries, but from the idea of sinking his teeth into the soft flesh of your thighs so hard you'd be littered with bruises. 

Daryl wanted to touch you so goddamn bad. But being him, he was too disgusted by the idea of getting the nerve to reach out and touch your thigh and having you pull away, shout at him, storm off and never talk to him again. 

And you being you, you were too terrified at the idea of making the first move and getting a similar reaction. 

So you stared up at the stars, forcing yourself to concentrate, before that last bit of wine spread through your body and gave you enough confidence to look at him. 

A buzzed smile spread on your lips when you saw he was already looking at you. And not your face either, but your thighs, and to gauge his reaction you trailed your hand down your torso to casually rest at the bottom of your shorts. You toyed with it, a bit, pretending you had an itch under the fabric and slipping your fingers under the hem. 

He looked at your face then. 

“You look real good.” He blurted, and froze at his words, ready to get up and bolt if you reacted the wrong way. 

“You look really pretty.” You responded without thinking, earning a look of confusion from him. “I mean, in a good way, like you could model in one of those underground fashion shows-” You cut yourself off before you could humiliate yourself further, but the grin on his face put you at ease. And made you a little tiny bit bolder. 

Neither of you knew what to say. He suddenly grabbed the wine and took an exceptionally impressive sip, leaving the bottle half empty. 

It was a few moments before either of you spoke again. 

“What did you do before this?” You asked, trying to ease the tension enough to relax the both of you. 

He snorted at that question, shaking his head and looking away from you. “Same as everyone else. Lived. Paid for food.”

You took that as the best answer you'd get from him and decided to use the boldness you'd earned from the alcohol. 

“Did you have a girlfriend?” 

He must've found your question amusing, because he snorted. “Psh. No. You got a boyfriend?” 

You noticed his question was in the present tense, not past like yours. “No.” 

He grunted and shifted in his spot so his forearms rested on his knees. He toyed with the grass for a bit, snapping off blades and picking them apart into little green confetti pieces. 

Daryl gave up on talking. He looked down at you again, seeing you were looking at the stars again, but not really seeing them. With the wine induced confidence he wasn't sure if he was thankful for yet, he reached out for you, his fingertips ghosting your knee. His eyes flickered to your face, and when he saw the expression it held there, he decided he was very grateful for the wine.

You sucked in a sharp breath, your lips parted and your eyebrows a bit furrowed. It was funny, with that look you'd think he had slipped his hands in your shorts. And when his hand fully pressed down on your thigh you closed your eyes and clenched your jaw, your body giving a billion silent ‘finally, finally, yes, yes, yes’. 

“Been thinkin’ ‘bout this for a while.” His gravelly voice sent chills through your entire body. 

“I can't stop thinking about it.” You admitted. 

“Yeah?” Your confession had him spinning, his hand now in the pocket of your shorts, two of his fingers dipping in to pull the two of you closer together. 

You found it hard to speak, so you settled on a whiny and desperate ‘Uh-huh’. 

He smirked down at you, his fingers back at your inner thigh. His touch was lazy, but deliberate, his rough fingers slipping up your thigh to the top of your shorts again. He ached to tease you, watch you whimper and squirm under you, but it was getting progressively harder. He glanced over his shoulder at the house, seeing all the windows dark besides Beth's bedroom. He then looked over the moonlit field, concerned for a moment about walkers, but when he saw the fence he felt all concern melt away. 

Daryl's hand continued roaming over your body, relishing in each little whimper being pulled from your throat. The thought that he was doing this to you, it was him making you into this needy little mess, it gave him a new sense of pride he hadn't felt in a long time. 

“You look real damn good.” He repeated his earlier compliment. The way you looked laying down beside him, your long sleeve shirt pushed up around your stomach, your chest rising and falling sharply, had his heart racing despite the buzz he had going on. 

“Thank you.” Your voice was barely a whisper, sending a shiver through him at the sound of it. Your body arched into his touch, desperate to have his hand move from your stomach either up or down. 

“You feel real damn good too.” He muttered, loving the way your body was responding to his touch. 

“God. So do you.” You breathed out a long exhale, looking up at him like he was the prettiest thing above you, not the stars. 

“Yeah?” His voice had taken on a higher pitch, a bit teasing, making you involuntarily whimper at the sound of it. He suddenly took it up ten notches, sliding his hand up your shirt to your breast. You had to bite back the moan that you knew would either call walkers or humans if you made it. While he played with your nipple, rougher than you expected, his other hand popped open the button on your shorts. 

You didn't have time to be impressed before his hand shoved its way through your tight shorts to your panties, catching you completely off guard with how suddenly forward it was. A strangled groan and the sight of your eyes squeezing shut had him teasing you again. “S’been a while, huh?” 

You nodded frantically, biting down hard on your bottom lip. Your legs trembled, moving apart so he could move his hand easier. He eagerly took advantage of the new space and moved his fingers through the sides of your panties, beelining for your clit. You weren't sure if it was experience, or if he just wasn't stupid, but the way he rubbed your embarrassingly slick clit had your head reeling. 

“You want me to take care of this little ache you got goin’ on?” The fact his southern drawl had gotten much stronger was almost enough to make you cum. Coupled with the dirty words he was saying, which was something you didn't expect from Daryl at all, your face burned with embarrassment. 

“Please.” You choked out, your hands gripping onto the blanket under you, having no idea what to do with your hands. 

He put more weight on his hands as he shuffled so close that he was basically on top of you. His middle finger slid into you, and the feigned cockiness quickly left his body when he felt you. He didn't know if he'd last more than ten seconds inside you. You were unbearably hot and wet. And just by the way you squeezed his finger, he couldn't imagine how that would feel on something bigger like his dick. 

Your worries were right, your orgasm came so fast you were humiliated. He'd barely curled his fingers inside you a few times, something you had to teach him through your haze, and you groaned, low and guttural.

His eyes widened when he realized what was happening, your orgasm catching him off guard. He took his hand that was busy pinching your incredibly sore nipples and clamped it firmly over your mouth, muffling your cries, even though they were enough to give him enough material to jerk his dick to for months. 

He'd need to find somewhere he could let you scream in peace. But for now, he'd have you right here, keep his hand over your mouth and fuck you into the grass. 

Daryl watched you come undone under his fingers like it would be the last time he'd ever see it. Memorizing the way your hips rolled up into his hand, the way they pulled away when you arched your back. The way your eyebrows pulled tightly together, then the way they relaxed as you rode out your high, your eyes fluttering like they couldn't decide on opening or staying closed. 

“Jesus Christ woman.” He breathed, his eyes dark and wild, like he'd just watched a miracle being performed in front of him. To Daryl it was. He felt an unbridled sense of satisfaction knowing he was the one who did that to you. 

You relaxed fully, your hips pulling away from his rough fingers and thumb, which were still stroking your clit. 

“Ain't done with you yet.” He pulled his hand from your shorts, leaving a trail of shimmering wetness on your stomach. 

“God. You're so pretty.” You said breathlessly, looking up at him again with that damn look on your face as you struggled to sit up to take your clothes off.

“You think I'm pretty? Yeah? C'mon then, show me.” He grabbed your hands, bringing them to his chest, forcing you to touch him. Your mind spun, still recovering from the first orgasm you'd had in god knows how long, trying to take over control as he used your hands to unbutton his plaid button up, not caring if you saw him shirtless because of how dark it was. The red one with the sleeves torn off,  it was your favorite. It was almost a loss to see him remove it, that was until he brought your hands back to touch his chest again. 

You decided you liked his direction, and let him move your hands down his chest to his jeans. Your hands fumbled with his belt buckle, messing up one too many times. He unbuckled it for you, deciding he was too impatient to wait on you, undoing his jeans and tugging them down just enough to get his cock out. 

When he finally tugged it out you tried your best to memorize every single detail about it. The glint of the moon on the bead of precum at the slit, the way the tip was darker than the pale base, the way his unruly pubes looked exactly like you'd imagined. 

Your hands reached out to grab the length of his cock and he sucked in a sharp breath, his head tipping back as he muttered out a string of curses you couldn't understand through his thick accent. 

He was so fucking glad he jerked off in his tent before he came out to meet you. Or else just that touch alone would've had him busting in your hands. 

The sound of him spitting into his hand made your core do that flip and you let out a shaky breath, watching as he rubbed his palm over the tip of his cock. 

He said nothing as he manhandled you, pushing your shorts right down your thighs, ignoring your little sound of surprise. He pulled you into his lap, and the way he took full control of your body like you were a puppet had you growing wetter than you thought possible. He moved you like you weighed nothing, one hand holding your side in a firm grip to keep you hovering over his dick. He was going to spit again, but you sank down against him and he felt how wet you were, he sputtered out a groan and swallowed his spit. 

He reached down between you and grabbed his dick, trying to guide it to the right spot in the confusion of his lust clouded brain and how wet and hot everything felt. You grabbed his hand and aimed it right at your soaking entrance, and sank your hips down. 

His head barely nudged against your entrance before it slid away, up through your lips and bumping your sensitive clit roughly. You hissed at the feeling and he grunted in irritation. 

“Here-” You pulled back from him, which he objected to for a split second, the idea of you separating from him not an option he wanted to consider. But when you started laying down on your back he moved forward on top of you, grabbing your thigh to hike it up over his waist. 

The new angle made things much easier, although your tightness still proved to be a slight inconvenience. You cursed yourself for being so sexually inactive, squeezing your eyes shut as you felt the burn of his tip slowly pushing inside you. 

His mouth found your neck as he lowered his body flat on yours, his weight nearly crushing your chest under his. He kissed your neck as he felt the resistance finally give, his head popping inside you and the rest of his dick pushing forward easier. 

You still saw stars when you closed your eyes, your body freezing from the mind numbing pleasure at the feeling of him filling you in a way you'd either never experienced, or had long forgotten. When the burn of the intrusion finally gave away and melted into complete bliss you relaxed under him, your hips angling up to drive him deeper. 

Daryl groaned in your neck, the sound stuttered as he fought to gain his bearings. His hand tugging his dick to the thought of you was something he never thought he'd top. The feeling of you wrapped around it was something he knew he'd never top. 

The tension between you broke and he finally began moving, dragging his dick out painfully slowly before plunging it back in, fitting like the last piece of a puzzle he'd been working on his whole life. 

He let out a low groan, sinking his teeth into the meat of your neck and bringing a high pitched cry from your mouth. 

“Nuh-uh.” He panted, his hips picking up a faster pace as he pulled away from your neck. “You gotta be quiet, sweetheart.” 

“Mhmm!” You clenched your jaw, your eyes fluttering open to look at him above you. His eyes dark, his mouth open as he breathed heavily, beads of sweat forming at his hairline. The sight had you arching your back, making him groan at the feeling of you squeezing and pulling on his dick. He really did look so fucking pretty. 

Daryl looked down at you, eyes tracing over your face twisted in pleasure, and he felt you grow wetter around him. The way your body responded to him had him trembling. He couldn't get enough of you. He needed more. He grabbed your hips, his grip firm enough to keep you in place as he sped up. 

The quickening of his rough thrusts had your head lolling to the side, each thrust knocking a breathless moan from your lips. They were quiet, to be heard by him alone, which was more than enough for him. The muscles in his jaw flexed as he fought to keep his composure, the last bit of him that he had under control worried about possibly hurting you. 

But that concern quickly went out the window when you started begging. 

“Please.” Your words bubbled from your chest, hot and desperate. “Please!”

“Please what?” He hissed, his brows furrowed in confusion as he fucked deep into you. “Use your words, tell me whatcha want. I'll give it to you.” 

“More, please, I don't know.” You babbled under him, trying your best to stay quiet. “Harder, more, I don't-” 

He moved on you, suddenly putting all the weight of his upper body into his grip on your hips, right before he started fucking you so hard you lost the ability to speak. 

Each thrust sent a bolt of sharp and deep pleasure through your pussy, up your body and ending with a tingle on your scalp. You couldn't moan, even if you wanted to, his movements were so rough it felt like each snap of his hips knocked the air from your lungs. You knew there'd be a deep imprint of your ass in the dirt tomorrow from how much weight he was boring down on you, and the sensation of that alone made your head spin. 

Your sharp gasps that were in sync with his thrusts neared a dangerous volume, and he slowed his hips, using the opportunity to catch his breath. 

“Ya gotta be quiet. M’serious.” He whispered, his thumbs pressing down on the sides of your stomach when your whimpers had yet to cease. “Gonna have to stop.”

You spewed out a soft stream of no’s, your hands wrapping around his wrists as if you had the strength to keep him there. “I will, sorry.”

He nodded in response and carried back on with quicker thrusts, his mouth open as he sucked in shaky breaths. Daryl couldn't take his eyes off you. He wished he had met you a year ago, before all this happened, so he could fuck you without worrying about walkers, getting caught, he wanted desperately to hear every sound he earned from you. He was the reason you were a broken mess; he deserved to hear and have all of you. 

Your right hand let go of his wrist to snake under his stomach, your flat fingers rubbing firm massages on your greedy clit. The sight had a choked moan sounding from his throat and you whined in response, the sound sending long bolts of pleasure through your core. 

“Daryl, so close.” You whispered, your toes curling from their spot at the base of his spine. 

He understood your meaning and set a steadier pace, not too rough or fast, but deep and steady enough to guarantee your final orgasm, since his first with you was approaching. 

Daryl wasn't stupid, he meant to pull out, truly, but when you came and squeezed his cock like a fist, he couldn't help it. His body trembled and he choked, gasping and whimpering as he came with you. 

Your jaw dropped and you saw more than stars, you saw the whole damn galaxy. Daryl quickly pressed his hand over your mouth to muffle your obscene moans, his hips stuttering as he finished the last drop in his orgasm. 

“My God. My God. Oh my God.” You panted after he removed his hand, your eyes bleary and wet, your body vibrating with exhausted shakes as your ecstasy slowly faded away. Your hands and feet felt cold and numb, and when he pulled away it felt like someone had taken something from you. You whimpered in a soft objection as his wrist left your grip. 

“Goddamn.” He sat back to stuff his raw dick back in his jeans, twitching when he felt the uncomfortable friction from his boxers, it was too stimulating. 

It took you some time to put your clothes back on, when you were finally dressed you were too exhausted to do anything but lay there on the blanket and catch your breath. 

Neither of you spoke for a while, sitting in silence to regain your bearings and enjoy the final moments of buzz from sex. As soon as he came down from his high, he grabbed the abandoned bottle of wine and drank nearly the rest of it. 

“I'm gonna go shower.” You breathed, sitting upright to find your shoes and put them back on. 

“G’night.” He muttered between swigs.

“Goodnight Daryl. That was amazing.” You thanked him with a quick kiss that seemed to startle him.

He sucked his teeth in embarrassment, waving you off as if to say, ‘it's nothing'. He watched you walk away, scratching the backs of your arms, itching from the grass. Daryl turned back to the woods and finished the bottle before chucking it into the field, eventually leaving for his tent, bringing your blanket with him. 

You took the best bath you could manage with your supplies; it wasn't as satisfying as a hot shower with your old fancy soaps and shampoos, but you were too exhausted to do more than just clean yourself. You barely even wrapped your hair with a towel before tripping into your room and falling on your bed. 

You yelped when you felt something hard like at your back and you leaned up on your elbow to see a small box with a note. 

From Lori. Use these next time. -Maggie

You sighed in relief when you saw it was emergency contraceptives and a pack of condoms, despite the pit in your stomach from knowing Maggie had seen you. It was something you should have already planned for yourself, the condoms, but it was hard to think straight when you were horny over Daryl Dixon. 

SHANE JUMPSCAPRE

@ophelialaufey @carlgrimesgfofficial @theskinniestjackson-denny @dilfish-daydreams

[eddiethebrave]

secret admirer part fourteen

442 words

one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen

On Saturday, Steve invites Carol over. He would usually hang out with Tommy (which has included Carol more often than not recently, anyway) but he’s visiting family over the weekend. Steve didn’t want to sit around the house or go out alone and he figured there’s no reason he and Carol can’t hang out without Tommy there, too. 

He’d never admit it to either of them, but he’s honestly liking her better lately, and would prefer her company to his, anyway. 

Tommy’s always been an asshole, but he’s growing more and more, like, genuinely mean as the days go on. For no reason, too. It’s kinda scary to see the kid he used to climb trees and learn how to swim with so filled with anger that he’s willing to hurt people to get temporary relief. Anger that he likes to take out on kids at school who do nothing to him. 

Carol isn’t angry. She’s kinda entertaining, actually. 

“Then she started talking about some guy who cut off his own ear and killed himself! Like, what?! What does that have to do with anything? All I said was that I don’t see why we have to make stupid drawings of ourselves!”

Steve nods along as he shuffles through his fridge trying to decide on something to make for lunch.  

“And she- Oh my god,” Carol cuts herself off. “Did you see what she was wearing?”

Steve pulls out sandwich supplies and shakes his head. “Nope. What was she wearing?” he asks, knowing damn well what she was wearing. 

“A sweater vest. With a tie!” 

Steve snorts. “Oh, the horror.”

“And she had these rings- Well, actually, the rings were kind of cute, but her shoes were all marked up with pen. Pen!”

“You kinda sound like-” Steve cuts himself off when he realizes where he was going with that sentence. 

You kinda sound like me when I think about Eddie.

When he looks over to Carol to see if she noticed his slip up, he finds her looking at him with her eyes narrowed from where she’s sat on his counter even though he’d protested (No, no, no, come on! I eat there!). He clamps his teeth down on his cheek. 

“Sound like what?” she asks. The question by itself would be innocent, but combined with her crossed arms and glare, it comes off as defensive. 

“Like you really don't like her,” he deflects and turns back to the sandwiches. 

From the corner of his eye, he sees Carol slump. She scoffs. “Yeah, ‘cause I don’t.”

Steve can practically see her pout. 

It’s quiet for a moment. Then, “Ham or Turkey?”

fifteen

tag list (closed)

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sorry if i missed anyone!!

[dixons-sunshine]

Come Back To Bed | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

(GIF by @daryl-dixon-daydreams)

A soft, quiet yawn escaped your mouth. You wiped the sleep from your eyes and placed your hands on the counter, your gaze landing on the coffee maker that you had started up a few seconds prior. Coffee—that was another luxury that came with your stay in Alexandria. You hadn’t realized the full extent of your love for coffee until the ability to make yourself a cup of coffee in the mornings was ripped away from you. Now that you had access to a coffee maker and coffee, you weren’t about to take the delicious liquid for granted ever again.

You were waiting for the coffee maker to finish up, contemplating what you were going to make for breakfast when you felt a pair of arms encircle your waist, a warm body pressing up against your back, a face nuzzling into the crook of your neck. You didn’t even have to look over your shoulder to know who it was. However, you still did, and you were pleased to find your partner pressed up against your back.

You smiled and placed your hands over his. “Good morning, handsome,” you greeted him, chuckling when he simply grunted in response. “You sleep okay?” You simply got another grunt as a response, eliciting another chuckle from you. “You want some coffee?”

“Nah,” he voiced, finally doing something other than making noncommittal grunts. “I don’ want coffee. I want ya to come back to bed. I ain’t ready to for the day yet.”

This was a pleasant surprise for you. You’ve known Daryl since the early days of the outbreak, dating back all the way to the quarry. He was always the first person up in the mornings and the last person to go to bed at night. He was always rearing to go, to make himself useful. You couldn’t think of a time he had ever wanted to sleep in. This was a side of the archer you had yet to see.

“I can’t,” you began in an apologetic tone. “I have to switch with Glenn for my watch shift soon.”

“He can wait,” Daryl grumbled into the skin of your neck, his arms tightening around you. “Can’t even count how many times he’s been late for somethin’ jus’ ‘cause he was busy with Maggie. He’ll jus’ have to understand.”

You giggled and shook your head, leaning forward to switch off the coffee maker. “I can’t do that, Dar. It’s not fair to him to have to stay longer than what was agreed. You can stay in bed longer if you want to, though.”

“Like hell it ain’t fair. Seems pretty fair to me. And I want ya to come back to bed too. Don’ sleep well without ya there.” Daryl lifted his head from the crook of your neck and spun you around in his embrace. From your new position, you could better appreciate the view of your partner. He was sporting an old, faded Metallica t-shirt with a pair of flannel pants. His hair was messy and you could clearly see the sleep still present in his eyes. He looked rather appetizing, in your opinion. “I don’ care whether or not Glenn throws a hissy fit if yer late or not. Yer comin’ back to bed. S’way too early to function right now.”

“It’s almost 8am.”

“Exactly.”

You shook your head and stepped out of Daryl’s embrace. “I’m sorry, Dar. I can’t.”

A few beats of silence passed. “Then ya leave me no choice,” Daryl finally spoke up again.

You barely had a chance to process his words. You were hoisted up off the ground, your body being laid over your partner’s shoulder. You yelped and laughed simultaneously. “Daryl! You can’t just—”

“‘Course I can. I jus’ did,” he cut you off, patting your rear end once as he descended up the stairs to get to your shared bedroom. “Yer comin’ back to bed. Thought I already mentioned that.”

You knew there was no point in arguing with him. When Daryl sets his mind to something, you knew there was no point in trying to talk him out of it. You’d just have to apologize to Glenn later, and as Daryl placed you down on the bed and clambered over to lay down next to you, holding you tightly from behind, you realized you definitely weren’t about to get out of bed again soon.

And the cup of coffee you were busy making yourself stood long forgotten on the kitchen counter.

[noceurous]

a guide to dating in twenty first century

you met a kind stranger at a bar, next day you ended up on his couch, on your first date…

warnings: implied age gap, hints of abusive relationships (not by joel or reader), hint of dom!joel, no outbreak, usage of pet name(baby), lots of alcohol consumption, can be considered as dubcon but consent is asked and given, mention of food, swearing, talking about marriage, smut (18+), fingering (f receiving), reader is afab and able bodied, she has some hair.

a/n: here it is folks, my first joel miller fic. please give comments/reblogs if you like it.

part i: the ‘first’ date

The song had just started when you entered the garden side of the bar. A rock classic filling the place, still laudable through all the chattering.

Your eyes scanned the area, trying to find your friends. Just before you took out your phone to text, you saw a familiar back of the head turning towards you. 

“Hey!” Maggie raised her hand, she looked gigglier than usual. You have already told them to start without you so her being tipsy was understandable. You started walking towards their table, “You’re late!” She protested as you got in the earshot.

You pulled the only empty chair they reserved for you and hung your bag at the back. You greeted the rest of the table with a smile and a simple nod before sitting down. All of the girls already ordered their drinks, and half way down finishing the snacks.

“And you don’t wear a tiara or a bride sash!” You half-protested as you turned towards her. Acting like you were just a few minutes late, not like it took you extra half an hour to get ready mentally.

“Not my thing.” You chuckled, raised your hand in the air for a waiter to see you. Thinking you were ready to start drinking and catch up with the girls.

—

The first half of the night was good. You fake-smiled and joined the conversations about when is the best time to have a baby, and best place to have a honeymoon. All thanks to your little helper in a glass. As you were about to finish your second one, you felt like you reached your quota about non ending monogamy speeches.   

A girl turned towards you. She was a colleague of Maggie and you only saw her before once at some New Years party. Jen something? Or was it Jess? You were sure it started with J.

She asked as she leant towards you. “So? Who is going to be your plus one?” 

There it was, the question you waited for all night long. You were the maid of honor, also the only single girl in the table. Of course people were going to ask why you had no plus one. 

“Noone.” You explained in one word, playing with the straw inside your glass.

“Oh, really? Are you sure? You can't just go alone! If you want I can set you up with-” Maggie intertwined the conversation, placing her elbows on the table and her chin inside her palms. As she did, all the girls stopped talking again and all turned their heads to you.

“She is not interested Alice. I’ve even told her the only other person who is coming alone is my grandma, and that’s just because she’s a widow.”

“Well you never know. Maybe she’ll find her next true love from the groom’s side.” Maggie rolled her eyes as the rest of the table chuckled at your joke, returning to talk about what they were talking about before. Before Alice, not Jess nor Jen, could ask you something you put your hands on the table.

“Okay, I need to hit the ladies room first. Then we can talk about why I need to find a guy ASAP.” You said as you raised yourself from your seat.

The ladies room was occupied so you had to wait in line with another girl who seemed too drunk to stand on her own. Playing with her fingers, rocking back and forth in her place. "Do you have weed, or something like that?"

You pressed your lips together and shook your head. "No, sorry." The girl huffed and crossed her arms on her chest.

The door opened and the girl in front of you threw herself inside, not even waiting for the other girl to step out properly. You two shared a look, “What is her problem?”

You sighed as you got all alone resting your head on the wall to take a breath. You hated when people became all invested in your love life, or the lack of your love life in better words. 

You spent almost a year to recover from your shitty break up by going on even shittier dates, then you simply gave up. Not like you had too many admirers, since your life was usually spent between work and home.

As you were looking down, somebody’s shoes came into your point of view. The tips of the dark leather boots were pointing on the tips of your high heeled sandals.

“Hi.” You raised your head when you realized he was talking to you.

He was clearly older than you. Salt and pepper hair and a patchy beard and mustache. He seemed cute, and somehow it felt like you could trust him. Like he was over with his bullshitting phase which every guy on your age was into.

He dressed nicely, an old pair of jeans and a dark colored shirt tight enough to hint he was built. Broad shoulders and thick biceps, large colloused hands…

“Hi?” You spoke sooner than you preferred. Sound just one octave higher than it usuallt was.

“Uhm, I don’t wanna seem weird but I noticed ya and heard ya were single so I—” You smiled at the southern accent, it fit him nicely. 

“I don’t want to step over a line, and sorry again if this seems too brave… May I have your phone number?” 

Here it is…

“Oh, well…” You spoke, eyes going between the still occupied ladies room door and the table of your friends.

He raised his hands in the air, taking a step back. Pressing his lips together as he slowly gave you a nod. “I understand completely.”

You felt like someone stabbed you on your chest when your eyes found him back. He looked like a small puppy who got kicked.

What is the worst thing that could happen? You probably gone over many shitty scenarios already.

“Wait-“ You said as you looked at the door again. The girl was taking forever and sure she would not come out anytime soon.

He stopped, raising his eyebrows. Eyes sparkling with a little piece of hope, and you could not find the strength to break his heart in yourself.

“I’d be happy to give my phone number.” He smiled, taking out his phone from his back pocket, opening his keypad before giving it to you.

You quickly tapped your number and called yourself. Your phone buzzed inside your back pocket. As you took it out, its screen was screen flashing with an unsaved number, “Done.”

“I’m Joel, by the way.”

“Hi Joel.” And you gave him your name, the first time it sounded so natural to hear it from someone else.

Like she took it as a que, the girl finally stepped out leaving the light switched on. Joel pointed to the door with his chin, before taking a step back again. “I’ll text you.” He said before leaving.

When you made it back to your table, your drink was gone and so were some of the girls including the girl whose name starts with J. And you just felt a relief that she would not ask you anymore questions about your dating life.

“I thought you left.” Maggie said, finishing her fourth glass. 

“The girl before me took forever.” You explained as you put on your purse, preparing to leave with the rest of the gang. You scanned the room, hoping maybe you would see Joel somewhere in the corner. But all you saw was a guy eyeing you up and down, courtesy of wearing a skirt in the 21st century. 

“Do you want me to call you a cab as well?” You turned to Maggie, shaking your head.

“No. I will take the subway. It’s cheaper. I spent a good amount back there, my credit card deserves a break.” She chuckled as she gave you a kiss goodbye.

On your way back you saved Joel’s number in your contacts. Joel.

Plain and simple, because he was the first Joel you knew.

He hadn’t texted you by the time you made it to your place. You tried your best to not overthink it. Calling it a lucky shot if he remembered to text you the next morning, and focus on anything but him.

You put your phone back on your nightstand after checking it for the 1000th time. Hating for yourself how you always ended up as the person who waits.

On next day at 13:42 your phone buzzed with a message.

After spending the night wondering when he would text you back and trying to distract yourself from wondering…

Hi, it’s Joel Miller from last night. I got your number as you were waiting on line at Ophelia’s ladies room.

You smiled at the formality of the text message. It was probably better than ‘wasssuppp’ the guys around your age sent you.

You quickly started typing a reply. He was still online, you felt that was your lucky shot. Hoping would not wait for 12 hours again for a reply.

Even if he did, you would just give up and throw your phone out the window.

hi joel

You felt a weight was over your chest when you saw typing… under his name. You didn’t realize you were holding your breath until you saw his message.

How are you? Any signs of hangover?

just tired from last night.

we left the place at 2:24 AM.

That’s bad. I assumed you would leave later than us, so I didn’t want to text you in the morning and disturb you.

The us seemed more important to you than focusing on the fact that he only texted late because he cared.

Because he thought you could be tired, and he just did not want to disturb you late at night—

us?

Yeah, throw your senses out the window… Ask it away…

I was with my brother last night.

You felt shame because of your doubts. What would he say, his wife?

I wanted to ask if you would like to have dinner with me tonight?

I’m a nice cook :)

sure :)

is 19:30 good?

Yes it is. I’m sending you my location.

I can also send an Uber to pick you up.

no it’s fine. you don’t live far.

At exactly 19:33 you rang the doorbell. You fixed your top as you waited for him. It was cute and see through enough for a first date. You’ve also taken your pants showing your ass like a masterpiece from dry cleaners.

Lucky guy…

You didn’t tell Maggie or someone else that you were going on a date because you didn’t want them spiral this into something bigger than it was.

You felt the inside of your palms getting wetter. Your heartbeat sped up as each second he did not open the door.

Should you go back? Maybe you co—

He opened the door before you could gather your thoughts. Smiling when his eyes found you, leaning his head towards the door. “Hi.” He did not look nervous like you, he looked like it was just a Saturday night for him.

“Hi.” You said smiling back, and joined your hands in front of you. Feeling the muscles on your back relax as he opened the door wider for you and stepped inside.

“Welcome. Sorry it took me awhile to open the door, I was waiting for water to boil.” He explained as he closed the door and turned towards you.

You took a better look at the place once you were inside. It did not have much, seemed like he only purchased the necessary stuff. He did not have posters or painting decorating his walls like yours did, or a large bookshelf filled with books.

“You have a nice place.” You said as you followed his guide to kitchen.

He turned on his heels, looking at you. He was wearing a dark Pink Floyd tshirt and blue jeans. You could see his biceps peeking out from the sleeves. His hair was nicely done, beard was trimmed. He looked even better than you remembered.

“Oh thanks, I’ve just moved in here actually, wanted to be closer t’ city.” He said as he pulled your chair for you to sit. “Dinner will be around half an hour, do you want to have something to drink first?”

“Sure.” You said as you sat on the bar stool, watching him to come back with beers. When he closed the fridge door you noticed the only photo placed on it. The magnet was just some dark circle, and your fridge was decorated with cute and funny ones.

On the photo Joel was next to some guy and had his arm placed on his shoulder. The guy had a longer, combed back hair but shared Joel's love for mustaches.

They were both wearing black tux, and had a buttonhole. The guy’s was larger than Joel’s, so you thought it was probably from a wedding.

“Who is that?” You asked as you pointed on the photo. He looked over his shoulder.

“That’s Tommy, my little brother. It’s from his wedding day. 'was a few years ago.” He explained casually, taking a sip from his beer. “I was the bestman.”

“My friend is getting married in two weeks as well, I’m the maid of honor. We were having bacholerrette party the other night.” You felt a twist on your stomach as you spoke. A pressure on your shoulder getting heavier as you spoke. You tried your best not to frown, as you remembered what your ex told you.

You’re overwhelming, all your problems and your whines… All you do is talk talk talk—

“A few weeks later you may have one on your fridge with your friend as well.” You smiled at the thought. Not like there was a space left on your fridge for one more photo.

“Yeah I suppose. I hope we both look good in the photo as you guys do.”

“Hire a professional. That’s the secret. You cannot tell we were both hammered, thanks to the guy.” He admitted and you both laughed at that. You felt lighter as he joked and asked you questions. The knots in your stomach getting untwisted as he spoke. You weren't sure if it was because of beer or his interest even in the most mundane things you told him, but you felt lighter. “Are you excited for the wedding?”

“Not really, they’ve been dating for years. I was wondering when he would ask, rather than if he would ask.” He nodded, checking the food in the pot and he raised himself to stir it.

You gulped when you saw his flexing muscles underneath his tshirt. Your fingers played with the rim of bottle, watching him prepare the plates and his thick arms and long fingers move.

“Tommy was nervous as hell when he proposed. Maybe same thing happened with him as well.”

“Yeah maybe. The idea of marriage can be scary.”

“You think so?”

You are not the kind of girl suitable for marriage.

“Yes, but I also know you do not get scarred that much when you know you are married with the right person.” You were not sure if you were saying this to him or yourself.

“Well, you haven’t seen my brother at the end of the aisle but he is one of a kind guy. But Maria was relaxed, so you might be right.” He said as he came back with two plates of food.

“It looks delicious.”

“Told ya I was a nice cook. Let’s dig in.”

—

The most of the dinner was spent with questions about your jobs and family. Nothing too personal, nothing to make you nervous. Although you had beer for that. The screeching voice of your ex had stopped echoing in your head.

Now you were sitting on his couch, drinking and going over your funny stories to one another.

His knees were touching yours, his hands was close to your thigh, but he was not directly touching you. His left hand’s pinky were barely grazing your upper thigh.

“So the stripper you hired took wallets of three guys from the party and nobody blamed you?”

“Well, I got the number from a guy at work. If anybody were to be blamed, then it would be him. Plus, I’m not someone who loses all his senses when a girl in underwear sits on my lap.”

“You are not?”

“Nawh baby, I’m not a teenager anymore. I can focus when a pretty girl is on ma lap.” You raised your eyebrows, chuckling at his confession.

Baby.

You could definitely go with being called baby.

You wetted your lips as his pinky brushed your thigh, you had to restrain yourself from opening your legs.

“Really? That’s good for you then, we don’t want your wallet to be stolen as well.”

He shook his head, his fingers brushing over your thighs. When you turned your gaze at him your heart skipped a beat.

He looked amazing in the dimmed lights of the room. You got closer to him, wondering what would be his next move.

“Want me to show you?” He whispered and you nodded. A bit quicker than you’d prefer…

He gently pressed his lips on yours. Waiting for a response as his lips lingered on yours. You kissed him back, leaning your body closer to his.

The kiss was slow; he didn’t push his tongue into your mouth right away. Something you were glad he didn’t.

His hands stood on his sides, allowing you to set the pace. You bit down on his lower lip, slowly, signaling him to open his mouth. He grunted, clenching his hands into fists to stop himself from touching you. Opening his mouth to push his tongue inside yours, sucking your tongue.

You could taste the bitter taste of the beer, but didn’t mind. Sure same could apply for you as well. Your hands placed on his cheeks, his stubble digging inside your palms.

He slowly placed his hands on your waist, guiding you on his lap. When you were settled, he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer. A small whimper left your lips, when you felt him getting harder under you.

His other hand moved south, palm following the shape of your ass. Your one hand moved further down, feeling his muscles fletch inside his tshirt.

“You’re good.” You admitted as you broke the kiss for air. His hands still on your body, caressing you. He rested his head on the back of the couch.

“‘Want me to show ya things I’m better at?” His tone was smug. You nodded quickly, letting your body make decisions for you.

He pulled you back to his torso, kissing you rougher than before. His hand was now in front of your jeans, cupping you. You moaned when he pressed his fingers onto tight denim.

A few seconds later you were lying down on the couch with him between your legs and your jeans were already left your body.

His palms were rough as they moved across your legs, moving towards your upper thighs then your panties. “May I?” He said between kisses, waiting for your approval.

You nodded, but he only hooked his fingers on the hem of your panties. “Words baby, use your words.” You felt yourself getting wetter when he called you by that nickname again.

“Yes, please.”

“That’s my girl.” He said as he quickly pecked your lips, sliding off your underwear. His fingers traced your lips, gathering your slick. “Fuck, I didn’t expect you to be this wet baby.” He whispered on your lips.

You felt the heat rising through your cheeks but before you could hide your face Joel already pushed a finger inside you. “Oh!” You moaned loudly, he raised your leg and hooked it on his shoulder.

“I’d love to hear your voice baby. Let’s see if you can be louder.” He said as he started moving his finger rapidly. Hitting your sweet spot with the pad of his finger at each stroke.

Your toes curled and you felt your stomach got tighten with his movements. “Hmph J-Joel!” You held onto his upper arm for support. His lips on your neck, kissing and nibbling. Before giving you a chance to get used to first one, he pushed his second finger inside you. Your grasp on his arm got tighter, leaving crescent shaped marks.

You could feel yourself drip onto his palm, hearing the slick noises as his fingers moved inside you. “I-I’m cl-close.” You admitted, feeling your walls close around his fingers.

“Yeah baby?” He said as he slowed down to look at you, brushing off to hair strands on your face. You nodded, biting down on your lower lip. “Let go for me, okay? Come on.” He said as he got back to his old pace, scissoring his fingers.

When your orgasm hit you, you raised your head to kiss him. Wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer to you. He gladly surrendered to your kiss, his hand placed on your cheek as he deepened the kiss.

Slowly pulling his fingers as your breaths slowed down. His hand moved to the hem of your top. You felt your heart shrunk on your chest. You placed your hand on top of his, shaking your head.

He pulled his hand back like it just touched fire. Muttering an apology as you raised yourself. “I’m so sorry.” You said, reaching for your underwear and pants to quickly put them on.

“It’s getting late, I should get going.” You explained as you checked the time on your phone.

10:34 PM.

After ten is late right?

He nodded quickly. “Let me drop you off.” He said as he got up from the couch. You noticed his boner once he stood back on his feet. Pressing your lips together to stop your cunt from throbbing at the sight.

You were leaving the guy who gave you a body wrecking orgasm with a huge, thick boner…

“We both drank. I think it is better for me to call an Uber.”

“You are right.” He slurred his words, walking over to you. “Let me walk you out then. I can join you as you wait.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.” You dropped your shoulders, seeing the guilt all over his face. You nodded, allowing him to walk with you.

You took out your phone to call for an Uber. Sighing with relief when you saw your driver was close to you.

“So that was… good?” You raised your head back to him. Putting your phone back inside your bag. Guilt and tension were all over his face.

“I really had a nice time. I have this thing in the morning and we drank and it’s—” He put his hands in the air. Stopping your mumbling.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me.” He said, smiling down at you. “I’ll call you then, for next time?”

“Yeah that’d be great.” You answered, eyes going back and forth between him and the road.

Shifting on your feet from one foot to other. His hands were in his pockets. Resting his body on the metal gate, casually checking you up and down.

When you saw your car coming you gave him a small goodbye hug, wrapping your arms around his waist. “I had a great time. Thanks for everything.” You explained again, trying your best to assure him he had done nothing wrong.

“Anytime. Text me once you get back, alright?”

“Sure.” You said as you walked over to your car, looking over your shoulder before you got in. He waved you slightly, you smiled back and he mouthed the words ‘Be safe.’

Once he was out of your sight, you relaxed on your seat. Let go of the breath you were holding since you put back on your jeans.

Your fingers were rubbing your temples. As you quickly recapped the night.

You ended up on a guy’s lap again on the first date. You even went to his place and let him finger you. At least you did not let him fuck you with his seemingly huge cock. That showed self-improvement…

And lastly, you turned down the guy who was the nicest guy you have met.

You knew you kissed your chance to a second date goodbye as the Uber turned around the corner to your street.

[part ii]

[queercatboyrights]

!!

From the ask game here!!

Name: Maggie Holter

Pronouns: She/Her

Gender/Sexuality: Cis Lesbian

Lore: Maggie!!! Beloved girl!!! Maggie is Kaius's adoptive daughter!! Though it's a bit of a story of how this came to be! Maggie's birth parents were both, well, in dire straits to say the least. Finances were always a concern for them, as well as their lack of funds. This left them little time to worry about or even care for their daughter. Things would eventually become bad enough that her parents would abandon her on the streets in hopes to lighten their financial load. She was around six when all this went down, and it was a rather terrifying experience for her. Maggie would spend a few months on her own, struggling to feed and take care of herself. On one fateful day though, Maggie would stumble straight into Kaius while stealing food! Kai like the bleeding heart he is decided to temporarily take her in, making sure her needs were met until he could track down Maggie's real parents. The two would spend a lot of time together, and Maggie would quickly become very attached to Kaius (though he becomes just as equally attached tbh). A few weeks later Kaius finally figures out where Maggie's parents are, though it didn't take him long to realize that the two of them wanted nothing to do with their daughter. After a bit of a strongly worded lecture, Kai would leave the two behind and completely throw out the idea of bringing Maggie back to her birth parents. This would lead to him finally deciding to actually legally adopt Maggie!! She was THRILLED when he finally talked to her about it, and immediately would now refer to Kai as her dad!! She'd get to continue to live with Kai and Roman, and both would become pretty big role models to her. Maggie now could grow up with parents who fully supported her and her aspirations! And eventually she'd discover a passion for art and set her sights on becoming a professional artist!! Overall she is SUCH a sweet sweet girl, full of kindness and goofs!!!

Appearance: (Left pic is when she's younger & around when Kai first adopted her, right one is several years later when she's teen/young adult age!)

Picrew from here!!

[d-targaryenshoe]

Frozen Pain - Jackson Avery

Word count: 1600

Summary: Love that's real, doesn't know a distance, does it?

You're holding a cup of coffee, comfortable in the luxurious beige couch in your penthouse apartment in New York. You held a letter in your hand, visibly upset.

Hey y/n

I hope this letter finds you very fast. It has been quite some time since we last saw each other at the hospital, or even had a good talk.

And I wanted to let you know that everyone misses you so bad. The hospital just isn't the same without you, or our after-shift drinks at Joe's.

There have been changes since you left. So stay calm when reading this. But Jackson and Maggie are dating now. It came as a surprise to all of us, and it may seem evil but I miss seeing you happy with him.

 I thought you should know since you were...you know what I mean.

I know it's been a while since we last spoke, but I hope you'll find the time to write back when you receive this letter.

Take care, I hope to hear from you soon.

Amelia

"I can't believe this... Jackson and Maggie?" You muttered to yourself placing your cup of coffee on the table and folding the letter closed. 

Images of you and Jackson together, happy and in love, flash across the screen. The memories of your past relationship flood your mind.

You take a deep breath, trying to compose yourself. You pick up your phone and dial Amelia's number. After a few rings, she answers.

"You have no idea how much I waited to hear you." Amelia sounded emotional about the fact she noticed you calling for the first time after you had left. "Y/n?"

"Amelia, why didn't you tell me about them when I was still there?" Your voice trembled even if you didn't want it to. "I should've known, you know I should've."

" I didn't know how to break it to you. I thought it would be better if you heard it from me." Amelia spoke, sounding apologetic.

"Well, thanks for that. I can't believe he moved on so quickly." You sighed, leaning back into the couch, staring out of your window. "Maybe I left at the right time."

"I know it hurts, but y/n, you decided to leave Seattle. You had to follow your dreams, remember?" Amelia reminded you.

You sighed deeply, nodding your head even if she couldn't see. " I know, but it doesn't make it any easier. I thought what we had was special."

"It was special, and it still is. But sometimes life takes unexpected turns. You deserve happiness too, you know that." She answered on the other side.

" I just wish I didn't have to find out this way." You muttered, wiping away the tears that fell from your teary eyes.

"I understand. But remember, I'm here for you, no matter what." The Shepherd sister spoke. "Just remember, you're strong and capable of creating your happiness."

 "I will try to remember that." You hang up the phone and take a moment to collect yourself. Despite the pain, you know deep down that you made the right decision by pursuing your career in New York. 

You open your laptop that's on the coffee table and check your emails. You notice a mail from Jo with the subject 'Don't hate me'. You click on the email and start reading.

From: Jo Wilson 

Subject: Don't hate me

Hey y/n,

I hope you're all settled and doing great. I wanted to let you know something that happened yesterday. 

I bumped into Jackson and Maggie in the parking lot, and it seemed like they were arguing, or breaking up, or anything else that wasn't any good. And yes, sometimes I'm too nosy.

 I know your history with Jackson, so I thought I should let you know.

But here's the thing... I accidentally I repeat, accidentally, let it slip that you live in New York.

 I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to reveal any of it! Not without your permission. I just wanted to give you a heads-up that there's a big chance he's on his way to you. 

You quickly close the laptop, unsure of what to do next.

You grab your cup of coffee and walk over to the sink. You place the cup in the sink and turn on the faucet, letting the warm water flow.

"Might as well do something productive to distract me." You whispered to yourself, looking at the dishes. 

You proceed to wash the glasses, rinsing off any soap residue before placing them on a drying rack. 

Suddenly you hear a knock on the door. You cautiously make your way to the door and open it, revealing the last person you'd expect standing on the other side.

Not thinking for another second you tried to shut the door.

"Even three seconds is enough...I just need to know that you're okay." He said, placing a hand on the door, making sure you didn't close it. "Wilson told me you took the offer in New York. I just- I had to see it for myself."

"Well, as you can see. I'm in New York not in Seattle." You shrugged at the man you once fell for or still had, but you couldn't show. "Maggie knows you're here?"

"Who told you that..." He furrowed his eyebrows, taking his hand off the door. 

"Amelia wrote me, Jackson. I know you've moved on, so I think it's best if you do as well." You gave him a small smile, trying to close the door once again. 

 "You've been avoiding my calls and messages. Can we at least talk?" Jackson asked, his eyes staring back at yours. 

" I guess we can talk, but I'm not sure what there is left to say." You sighed, opening the door wider for him to walk inside. "What do you want to know?"

You closed the door, sitting down on your couch.

"I just want to understand why you left so suddenly without talking to me. I thought we had something special." He folded his hands on top of his knees, looking at you. 

You shook your head in denial, staring at the ceiling, feeling the tears pricking in your eyes. "Jackson, it's not that simple. Andrew died, Alex left, Meredith was going to leave, and I needed some time to process everyone leaving me."

"But why didn't you talk to me? We've always been open and honest with each other." Jackson turned his body towards you, leaning an arm on the couch headrest. 

" I know, and I'm sorry. I should have talked to you, but I was terrified. Scared of losing you, scared of facing my own emotions." You answered, placing your face in your hands. 

"I broke things off with Maggie, she...she doesn't feel as home as you do. We've been through hell and back, we can do it again." He said.

"Jackson, it's not that simple. We both have our baggage and unresolved issues. We can't just start from where everything ended?" You got up from the couch, walking over to the huge window, staring down at the busy city.

"I believe in us. I believe that we can work through our problems together." He spoke as you felt him standing behind you.

"I need time to figure things out. I need to understand my feelings and what I want. It's not fair to either of us to rush into anything." You replied, turning around, your heart quickening as you stared back into his bright eyes. 

As Jackson stood in front of you, his eyes filled with determination, you felt your resolve waver. 

"I'd do anything if I have to, only to make things work out between us," he said earnestly.

You let out a heavy sigh, "Jackson, you know it's not that simple. You've just left Maggie behind."

"I know, I know," he said, running a hand over his head. "But I've let go of things in the past that I regret now, but y/n, you? You're, you're something I could never regret, ever."

You turned back around, fighting back the emotions swirling inside of you. "I don't know if I can do this again." You whispered.

"Just...just give me a chance to show you." he pleaded, taking a step closer to you.

The memories flooded back, the laughs, the tears, the late-night conversations. Despite your best efforts, you felt a small smile tug at the corners of your lips. 

You looked up at him, and he smiled back, a hopeful glint in his eyes, and the city lights twinkled outside the floor-to-ceiling windows of your penthouse.

 He leaned in, and your heart skipped a beat as his lips met yours. The kiss was intense, filled with both longing and regret.

"What are we doing?" you whispered, breaking away.

"Right now? I don't know," he confessed. "But I miss this and I miss us."

The ache in his words mirrored your own emotions, but you knew it was dangerous to reopen old wounds. "We can't keep doing this to ourselves," you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

"I know, but I can't walk away." Jackson pleaded, his eyes searching yours.

A surge of conflicting emotions coursed through you, and you let out a frustrated moan. "And you think, I can?" you admitted, feeling the weight of those words hanging in the air.

He pulled you close, and a bittersweet laughter filled the room. "Then let's try," he said, his voice determined.

As you looked into his eyes, the city hummed in the background, and you knew this decision would change everything.

[blvckqwz]

Officer Grimes (SMUT)

TWs: smut duh, teasing, a lot of teasing actually, sexual tension, semi-public sex kinda?, brat reader, switch Rick, age gap (reader is 21 and Rick is 38), alcohol use, Shane slander (as I should), mention of cheating (Lori), sassy reader, dirty thoughts, Rick is technically still married oops, season 2 era, it’s like 99% flirting and 1% smut sorry. Also this sucks since it's my first smut sorry again.

Rick knew deep down, really deep down, that he was a sick man, meeting you was just the confirmation. It all started a few weeks ago, when he and his group had just arrived at the farm. At first he only saw glimpses of you, whispering in your sister’s ear and giggling with her as you two watched the new group, or helping around the farm, sweat running down your neck to under your shirt, making Rick’s head spin. But you never spoke to him, to much of his disappointment. Well that was until two weeks before…

“Dude, Maggie’s sister is totally into you.” Glenn said, whispering to the sheriff as they walked to the makeshift camp they had built a few days before.

“What?” Rick asked in disbelief as his eyes landed on you, chatting with Maggie while sitting on the front porch “She’s too young for me.”

Glenn shrugged, replying, “Maggie said she turned 21 last month but whatever you say.” before walking past him to Maggie, waving to her.

"Really?" He murmured as his eyes scanned you, already watching him as you sent a small smirk to him, followed by an almost imperceptible wink. 

But oh boy he surely did notice it.

Glenn must have said something about his talk with him to you because since then your attempts to flirt with the police officer had become more bold, making the poor man every day more frustrated.

“Good morning Officer Grimes.” You said with a cheeky smile as he walked past you and Beth. “Good morning Y/N,” He replied, trying to sound as cool as he could.

Your eyes kept following his figure as he walked away, eating him with your eyes until Beth elbowed you, “Are you trying to get in his pants?” She asked in disbelief, whispering-yelling in case your father or someone else happened to hear you. 

“So?” You ask with a nonchalant smirk, “I think he’s hot.” You admitted, making your sister giggle. 

“Isn’t he also like 40?” She said, shaking her head, “And what if Daddy finds out?” 

“Well first of all he can’t find out what no one knows, and I’m sure you’ll keep your secret,” You said, waiting for Beth to nod, “And second I think older men are better.” You continued with a shrug as you closed your eyes, enjoying the sun shining on your skin. “What?” She laughs, “I can’t believe you just said that!” “Well,” You reply with a grin, “I’m sure he can do things Jimmy couldn’t dream of.” “Y/N!” Beth exclaimed with a fake shocked face as she lightly pushed you as you laughed.

If only you knew how right you were…

Rick was reaching his last strike, he realized as he whipped his hand on his pants, trying to erase the tension as he watched you return home from a supply run, riding your horse like you had done multiple times before. God he wondered if you would look as good as you did right now while riding him instead of a stupid horse. 

By now he had picked all her habits and routine, as creepy as it might sound. For example he knew how she would sneak out the house every night, disappearing between the trees before returning hours later, when the sun was almost ready to rise. He also knew about the whisky bottles that were coincidentally disappearing with you. The only thing that was still a mystery was what you did during the night with those bottles. Did you have a secret boyfriend? He hoped not, only the thought of you with any other men made his blood boil. He knew it wasn’t right, he hardly ever spoke to you, a miserable attempt to hide what he was truly feeling, but he was jealous as hell.

“Hello Officer.” You winked as you approached him, making his Adam’s apple shake. “You don’t have to call me like that, it's not like I’m a police officer anymore.” He said with a breathless laugh, “You can just call me Rick.” “Really?” You ask with a brow raised and a half grin, “Then why do you always seem so tense? Like you’re always ready to arrest someone or stuff like that.” You say, nonchalantly touching his shoulder as you talk, making his mind go blank and his pants feel tighter. 

“I guess it’s just because I’m talking to a pretty girl.” He replied before thinking, cursing himself immediately after the words left his mouth. 

“Smooth move Rick.” You say with a laugh before walking inside the house, sending him one last wink as you hurried inside.

Yup, this was his last straw for sure.

“Shit” You hissed as your backpack fell off your shoulders, the bottles in it loudly slamming on each other, “Shit, shit, shit.” You kept murmuring as you picked it up, quickly checking inside if the bottles broke. Lucky for you they didn’t. Unlucky for you, someone heard the noises.

“Shouldn’t you be inside?” Rick’s deep voice asked from behind you, holding his gun in one hand while the other one rested on his hip as he made his way towards you. 

“Shouldn’t you be with your wife?” She shots back before pulling her backpack back on her shoulders.

“Touché” He chuckled as you too couldn’t help but feel a smile growing on your lips.

You knew him and his wife had their problems and that she was cheating on him, you wouldn’t have eyed him otherwise. Marriage was still a sacred thing even during the apocalypse, that’s what your father had taught you. Plus it was unbelievable to you how she went from someone like Rick to a scumbag like that man she saw yelling at the most random things manytime. One thing was sure: if he was your husband you wouldn’t let him go. Ever. God if you just had the chance to show him how good you could make him feel even just once he’d forget about that Lori girl immediately.

“Why are you out here?” Rick asked, snapping her out her unholy thoughts.

“I wanted to take a walk.” You shrugged, “Are you going to arrest me, Officer?” You asked, the name making Rick feel things that were very very wrong. But still very very turning him on.

“No, although I’m sure I could give you a fine for the bottles in your backpack.” He replied, shaking his head, “But I won’t, just because you are nice to me.”

“Am I corrupting you, Officer?” You asked then, slowly advancing towards him.

Oh yes, you were very much corrupting him, he thought as he took a deep breath to calm himself. “That’s not how corruption works, sweetheart.” He says with a smirk. 

“Well, maybe that wasn’t…” You say, finally reaching him.

He could smell his scent from where he stood, fresh grass and soap, and he could swear his head was spinning.

“...But this surely is.” You say before quickly grabbing him by the wrist and running towards the woods, coughing him off guard.

“Hey.” He says between the pants, “Where are we exactly going?” “You know my secret so now I have to kill you.” You reply with nonchalance as you slow down your pace. “I'm just kidding, you asked why I was out so I wanted to show you.”

“I still have to decide about the killing part.” You then add.

“Do you still think about the old world?” You ask as you tilt your head to look over at the man sitting next to you on the roof of an old building you had found weeks before and had claimed as your secret place. 

“Sometimes,” He replies with a sigh, “Nothing will ever be the same again, not after what we’ve all seen.” You hum in agreement before taking a sip from the bottle that was now just half full before handing it to Rick, who gladly took it.

“I think about it everyday.” You admit, your eyes fixed on the trees as you avoid Rick’s piercing blue eyes staring at you, “Although the world had already fallen apart years before.” “True.” He replied, fidgeting with the neck of the bottle, “Do they scare you?” He then asked.

“Not anymore, I just find it sad now.” You say, “Those people were just like you and me and now we kill them like it’s nothing.” You sigh.

“You think we shouldn’t kill them?” He asked then, handing you the whisky bottle.

“No, of course not. I just think it’s sad we have to.” You explain as you take a large sip of alcohol.

Rick cautiously watches as your lips perfectly adapt around the bottle, wondering if they would be just as perfect around his c-

“You are staring.” You state with a laugh, breaking the silence.

Rick lets out an embarrassed laugh, “Sorry.” You shrug in response “I don’t mind.” You say with a smirk before letting your eyes wander on the man’s body. He was surely hot, you thought as you met his blue eyes, and he was probably into you too.

“I…” Rick’s voice died in his throat as his eyes found yours, already admiring you. Suddenly he felt like an awkward teenager with his first crush again, so shy yet so whipped.

“You know,” You say, “If I didn’t know you I’d say you have a crush on me, officer.”

The poor man almost choked when those words reached his ears, his eyes widening, not daring to look at you in fear you might be disgusted. God of course you were, he was too old for you. He takes a deep breath, clears his throat and then dares to start speaking, still avoiding your gaze, “Don’t you think you are a little too young for me?”

Now it was your turn to be disappointed, you really thought that he might be into you? He was probably just a very polite man and you just misread his actions. But still something about the way he was acting was telling you to not give up just now. 

“I don’t mind.” You answer, your voice barely audible. 

But sure as hell he heard it. And it all went straight to his cock. Still it felt very much wrong to flirt with a girl half his age.

“You are drunk, you don’t know what you are saying.” He murmurs, not noticing how close you two were standing until you started talking.

“You are drunk too, doesn’t that make us even?” You ask as you keep staring at his face, hoping he would look at you.

“I… I can’t.” He shots back, “We can’t.”

“Hey,” You say, placing two fingers on his face to make him turn to you, “I know you want me just as bad as I want you.” You say as you sink into his deep blue eyes, “Isn’t that right?” You then ask, making Rick nod in response.

“Then what’s wrong with it?” You ask, bringing your face closer to you, “Just give in.”

Rick’s Adam’s apple bounces up and down as the dirtiest thoughts flashed in his mind, all the things he could do to you, the things he wants to do. No, he doesn’t just want to do them, he needs to. He needs to do you.

You murmuring his name brought him back to reality, his eyes lingering on your lips, his cock twitching in his pants.

“Fuck it.” He murmurs before putting a hand behind your neck and pulling you in a heated kiss. You quickly reciprocate, one of your hands tugging his hair as the other rested on his chest. 

Rick quickly pulls you on his lap, basically making you straddle him as the kisses become more desperate, all the unsaid words purred in it. You could feel Rick’s tongue teasing your lips, begging you to let him in. Of course you do, quickly gasping for air as you begin to roll your hips on his painfully hard dick. 

Rick groans against the kiss, sending vibrations through your whole body. You still could taste the whisky on his tongue as it kept exploring your mouth, making you go insane. You could feel Rick’s hand trailing up from your hip to your back under your shirt as you fidget with the collar of his jacket, goosebumps forming on your exposed arms at the cold breeze.

“Here.” Rick murmurs, breaking away from the kiss to slip his jacket on your shoulders, “I don’t want you to get cold.”

You can’t help but let out a breathless laugh, “You are supposed to undress me officer, not cover me up.” “I guess I’m just too much of a gentleman.” He replies with a smirk, “You haven’t met many of them, have you?” 

You shyly nod, your eyes falling on the oversized jacket on your shoulders. You knew there was no one like Rick, you just didn’t know how right you were. 

“Then I guess I’ll have to show you how a real man treats a proper lady.” He says as his big hand cups your cheek before leaning closer, “And for the jacket don’t worry, I’ll eventually take it off you along with all your other clothes, if you give me the chance.” He whispers against your neck.

“You can have all the chances you want.” You whisper back before reconnecting your lips with his. His mouth quickly started to pepper kiss on her neck, leaving a few marks when he found her sweat spots. You softly moan at the feeling of his bears scratching on your neck as he keeps kissing your jaw and neck. 

“Rick…” You murmur as he softly bites your neck, soothing the pain with his tongue. “I need you so bad.” He whispers as his hands raise from your hips to your breast, squeezing them lightly under your shirt, making you whimper. 

“I’ve always wanted you…” He keeps mumbling as you fidget with the buttons of his shirt, slowly unbuttoning it. 

“You have me now.” You whisper back before pulling him in another heated kiss, making him groan as you press yourself against his erection. You can’t wait, you realize as the kiss becomes even more passionate, breaking apart just to quickly take off her shirt and tossing it somewhere near his.  

“God you are so beautiful.” He mumbles, making you suddenly feel so shy as you look in his eyes and find pure adoration as they scan your semi naked body, looking at you like you were the only person in this world. It makes your head spin.

Quickly the rest of both your and his clothes are scattered around. Rick cautionally holds you as he swaps position, now hovering over you as he propped himself up on his shoulders. “Are you sure you want this?” He asks breathlessly. You nod, “I’m sure.”

You eagerly reattach your lips to his as Rick’s hands roam your body. Your hands also wander around his bare back, your nails involuntarily digging into his skin when he squeezes your naked hip. 

“Rick, I need you so bad.” You pant as your eyes meet his. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.” He answers as he ghosts your lips with his thumb.

He pushed some hairs of your face before lining up himself with your entrance as you could feel yourself get wetter each second that passed. Your legs quickly wrap themselves around his hips as he slowly pushes his length in. Your back arches as he completely fills you up, making him groan. He soon starts moving, each thrust making you whine as your hands tug his hair. Rick moves his hips back slowly, watching your reaction as he moves back inside you. He starts moving faster, finding his own rhythm that you waste no time to meet, raising your hips against his, allowing him to go deeper inside you, forcing a low moan from him as you feel your high coming closer. Rick moves his hand to your clit, his arousal increasing even more as you become more vocal. 

“I- I’m close.” You say.

“Me too.” He murmurs before bringing his lips to yours, his tongue eagerly exploring your mouth. It’s all it takes for you to cum, burying your head in the crook of his neck as you practically screamed while your body shook, your orgasm taking control. He soon after reached his high too, loudly panting as he rolled next to you.

"That was..." -your words die in your throat as her breathing is still ragged, but Rick knows exactly what you mean.

"I know." He replies with a smirk.

[allthingsimagines]

State of Grace

“This is a state of grace. This is the worthwhile fight. Love is a ruthless game, unless you play it good and right” - State Of Grace by Taylor Swift

Rick Grimes x Pregnant!Reader

Summary: The group is wary of Aaron, until he reveals information that shocks the group to their core.

Takes place in season five at the start of the Alexandria arc!

Word Count: 5k+

Warnings: Swearing, childbirth, fluff, and ooc Rick

a/n: This has been sitting in my drafts for literal years. It’s not great, but I don’t care!! I hope you enjoy! Also, sorry for the formatting I’m on my phone!

—————————————————————————

The group all stood on high alert as they stared Aaron down as he sat tied to the pole. He was an outsider and knew far too much about them for any of them to be comfortable.

Rick was at the edge. He would either fall off and lose himself or pull himself back. The group was doing their best to keep him stable, but after Terminus, the death of Beth, and his own wife being lost after the Prison he was close to being too far gone. The only reason he hadn’t yet was for Carl and Judith. If he hadn’t had them he would’ve been long gone by now.

Aaron was another threat to the group’s safety.

Rick stalked around him as the group watched on. He seemed like a predator about to go in for the kill. Rick had always been an intimidating guy, but after the loss of his wife and the months on the road he wasn’t sure he’d ever fully return to who he had been when she was alive.

When the Prison fell everyone got scattered. Rick had been in the yard, Carl with Daryl, Judith with the kids, and Y/N had been in the sick wing helping Maggie evacuate people. When everyone got separated she’d just disappeared. No one had seen her since that day and there was no indication she was alive. Rick had lost hope a long time ago. She was tough, but it was difficult enough for them to survive as a big group. There was no way she would have made it months on her own.

Aaron gulped as the group discussed what to do, “My job is to convince you to follow me back home.”

Everyone looked around skeptically at his words. Aaron sighed, he knew it would take a lot of convincing, “I know, if I were you, I wouldn’t go either until I knew exactly what I was getting into.”

Aaron looked around at the big group and took a breath to steady himself. He’d been following them for two weeks and still didn’t know half as much as he would’ve liked to about them. He knew Rick was the leader and had two kids. He knew a few others like Maggie, Sasha, and Glenn, but the rest of them were strangers for now. Yet, he knew they’d keep them alive.

Alexandria needed people who knew how to survive and navigate the world they lived in now. The only people in the community who knew how to was himself, Eric, Deanna, Enid, and Y/N. She was the perfect person to teach them, but she wasn’t much help outside the walls since she was pregnant.

“Sasha, can you hand Rick my pack? Front pocket, there's an envelope,” Aaron asked and Sasha complied as she brought it to him.

“There's no way I could convince you to come with me just by talking about our community. That's why I brought those. I apologize in advance for the picture quality,” Aaron said as Rick pulled them out and looked through them.

“No one gives a shit,” Daryl grumbled out and Aaron nodded quickly.

A few others crowded around Rick to look at the pictures when the baby began crying. The teenager tried his best to calm her, but she just wailed. Rick pinched his brow and sighed, “Carl, will you get Judith the binky in my pack.”

The boy quickly complied as he tried to soothe his sister. Aaron’s eyes widened and he felt his heart jump at his words. He quickly leaned forward, pulling against his binds, “Your son is Carl and your daughter is Judith?”

The group all shared confused looks as Aaron looked like he’d had a world ending revelation. Rick passed the pictures to Glenn as he moved closer to Aaron, “What’s it matter to you?”

He kneeled down in front of Aaron and glared down at him, “Why do you need to know?”

Aaron swallowed, trying to compose himself, before looking up at Rick, “Did you have a wife named Y/N?”

Rick physically recoiled at the question and everyone tensed. How would he know her? Carl stepped closer to them, Judith held firmly at his hip as she was quiet now, “How do you know my mom?”

Aaron looked sympathetically at Carl and Judith before looking back to Rick. He looked as if Aaron had flipped his whole world, “How do you know that name?”

“She’s alive. She’s been living in our community with my husband and I for the past few months. She’s talked about your family endlessly- I just didn’t put it together,” Aaron breathed out and he saw the whole group react to his words.

Rick stumbled back and stood deathly still as he paled. Carl moved forward, his eyes full of hope, “How can we trust you? Where’s my mom!”

Aaron nodded towards his bag, “There’s a picture of her in the inside zipper of my bag.”

Glenn quickly unzipped the pocket before pulling out the picture and passing it to Rick. Rick couldn’t believe his eyes as he stared at it. It was her. She was leaning her head on a man’s shoulder, who he assumed was Aaron’s husband, with a bright smile on her face.

She was alive and happy.

Rick let out a choked sob as Carl tore the picture from his hands and broke down as well as he clutched his sister to him. The whole group was visibly affected by his words as they all had bright looks on their faces. Rick pulled Carl into his side and pressed a kiss to his head, “She’s alive. We’re gonna have your mom back.”

Glenn cut Aaron free and he stood up and rubbed his wrists. Rick released Carl, but when he turned to Aaron to say something he noticed the odd look on his face. Rick moved closer to Aaron and felt his stomach drop, “What’s wrong?”

Aaron looked up at Rick and scratched his neck, “I don’t know how to say it.”

Rick pushed down his fear as he stepped closer to him, “Aaron what’s wrong with my wife?”

Aaron met Rick’s piercing eyes and breathed out, “She’s pregnant.”

Rick swore he’d died. There was no way that she’d lived, but now she was pregnant? She couldn’t be.

Rick grabbed Aaron’s shoulder as leverage as he almost fell over, “What?”

Aaron grabbed Rick’s arm, “My husband and I picked her up on the road five months ago and brought her back. We’ve been taking care of her. The baby is doing great and so is she. She helps our leader, Deanna, out as her advisor so she doesn’t have to leave the walls.”

Rick tried to take in deep breaths, but he could hardly comprehend that his wife was alive and now she was pregnant? Rick grabbed onto Aaron as he fell to his knees. He tried to breathe as everything became too much for him.

His wife was pregnant and she’d been alive this whole time. They were going to have another kid.

Aaron squeezed Rick’s arm and sighed, “Rick, she’s full term now and when I left she was having consistent Braxton Hicks.”

Rick almost fell over from how quickly he shot to his feet. Lori had those during both pregnancies and she’d given birth soon after. He needed to be there for her. Especially considering what had happened to Lori.

“What’s that mean?” Carl asked, quickly wiping any remnants of tears from his face.

“They’re false contractions, but they’re meant to prep your body for labor,” Maggie answered, coming up behind Carl and squeezing his shoulders supportively.

“Take me to her. Please,” Rick pleaded with Aaron and he was quick to nod.

“Yeah, okay, I’ll radio my husband to come get us in our RV. We can all fit, but it’ll be tight,” Aaron said, looking around for approval.

Everyone quickly moved to ready their gear and Aaron took that as his sign to radio Eric. He quickly moved towards his radio that had been tossed out of his bag and picked it up, “Eric, we need you to get us at the barn we scouted. They know Y/N. Her husband and kids are with them.”

“Oh my god. Okay, I’ll be there soon. Be safe,” Eric quickly responded.

Rick held Judith tightly to him as he moved over to Aaron and clapped his hand on his shoulder. Aaron quickly turned to him only to find his demeanor much more relaxed, more like the man Y/N had described. Rick let out a shaky breath and nodded, “Thank you.”

Aaron nodded and sighed, “She’s family to me too now. I’d do anything for her.”

Rick nodded as his nerves began to eat at him. The group packed up quickly and they all anxiously waited in the barn to leave. Twenty minutes passed before Eric pulled up and they all quickly filed in. He seemed stunned by the road hardened people that passed by him to get into the RV. The RV was big, but they had a large group now and they were all crammed in.

They all sat packed into the RV, each having their own quiet conversations for a while until Aaron’s radio went off. The whole group turned to look at him as he quickly fished it out.

“Hey, Aaron, you there?” A female voice said.

“Hey, Denise. What’s up?” Aaron responded.

“Just wanted to check in and give you an update. When are you heading back?” She asked.

Aaron looked around at the group and scratched the back of his neck, “Uh, actually now. I’m bringing back that group I scouted for Deanna. Tell her that we’ll be back in less than an hour and they’ll need to get check ups asap just in case.”

“I’ll let her know, but the doctors office is kinda busy today,” Denise said sounding hesitant.

“What? Did something happen?” Aaron quickly asked, sharing a nervous look with Eric.

“No! No, nothing bad, but we’re about to have a new baby around here soon. She wanted me to let you guys know,” Denise said, with a cheery tone to her voice.

The whole group froze as Aaron looked at Rick in slight horror. Rick kissed Judith’s head and squeezed Carl’s shoulder as he tried to be strong for them. The last time, Carl had to kill Lori after she needed a C-Section. Rick knew Carl wouldn’t survive losing his other mom the same way.

Aaron’s eyes softened as he noticed their family dynamic. He remembered what Y/N had told him about Carl’s mom and he could tell it was causing trauma to resurface for them.

“How is she? Everything going okay?” Aaron asked, nervous himself for his friend.

The radio was silent for a few moments until it crackled again and a new voice came over the radio, “She can speak for herself. I’m in active labor, not dead.”

The whole group shared a look of shock. It was her. Rick quickly moved to the front of the RV to stand next to Aaron, his blue eyes wide and unsure of what to do.

“And yes, I’m fine. I’m almost fully dilated, so not much to do but have terrible contractions till they come. Baby Grimes would like to make an appearance soon, so I’d appreciate if you hurried back. It’d be nice to have someone who I actually care about to hold my hand. You too Eric. How’d scouting that group go? They convinced yet?” She asked breathlessly as Rick and Aaron shared a look.

Baby Grimes. She hadn’t let go either. Rick had a child and wife waiting for him.

Aaron held the radio out to Rick and he looked at it nervously. What was he even supposed to say? Rick turned as Carl came up behind him and took Judith from his arms so he could hold her. Carl’s eyes were filled with a hope Rick hadn’t seen in years. Rick swallowed his fears and took the radio from Aaron’s hand.

“Darlin?” Rick said, his voice wobbling as he choked out the words.

The radio was silent for a moment before her shaky voice said, “Rick? Is that you?”

Rick fell to his knees at the sound of her voice. It was his wife. She was alive.

“Yeah, baby, it’s me. We’re okay. We’re all on our way,” He breathed out as a hand squeezed his shoulder and he looked behind him to see Daryl behind him.

A loud cry came over the radio and the whole group from the prison visibly reacted with relief of their own as they finally had a family member back.

“Oh my god, I swore I’d never hear your voice again. Is everyone there? Carl? Judith? Please, please, tell me they’re okay,” She sputtered out through sobs.

Carl snatched the radio from his dad’s hands and shakily said, “Mom, mom, it’s me. We’re okay. Judith and I are okay. We miss you.”

“Carl, baby, I-I-,” She started but broke down into tears and the radio went silent for a second.

The whole group went dead silent as the radio cut out, but quickly reacted as she cried out over the radio. Rick rushed to Carl’s side as he stared at the radio in horror.

The radio cut back in and Y/N’s groans could be heard in the background, “She’s okay! Just bad contractions. She’s gonna need to push soon, so hurry if you guys can. I’m sorry I’ve got to go to make sure everything goes okay, but Aaron knows where the delivery room is. Deanna knows and she’ll have Spencer open the gates as soon as you get there and let them through.”

The radio then shut off and Rick looked up at Aaron in abject horror. What if he missed his child’s birth? What if something happened to her? Aaron squeezed his shoulder and shook him a bit to bring him back, “We’ll be back soon. She’s gonna be okay. We have good doctors and medical supplies to make sure of it.”

Rick nodded, seeming like he was off in a different place. Aaron moved back to Eric’s side and helped direct him the quickest way to Alexandria. Rick sat against the door of the RV, his mind running over every worse case scenario.

Nothing ever went right for him.

Right now he could have his wife and a new son or daughter when he arrived to Alexandria. Or he could lose them both, and he was sure that he would never survive that loss again of someone he loved so desperately.

Eric pushed the RV as hard as he possibly could without blowing anything mechanical. A half hour passed before Aaron finally announced that they were there. They all rushed to their feet and looked out the window to find a fenced in town with guard towers at the gates.

The group had been in one place with high fences before, but this place looked untouched from the apocalypse. Aaron turned to the group as Eric slowed as they got closer, “When we get in the gates, you will all have to turn over your weapons. We don’t allow people to have them, unless they’re on patrol or cleared by our leader Deanna or Y/N. You will all be interviewed by Deanna and then get a check up by one of our Doctors.

Rick and Carl, you’ll come with me. The rest of you will wait until I come and get you or you’re showed to a house. This community is pretty sheltered, so please take it easy around them for now. Understood?”

They all shared nervous looks before nodding in agreement. The RV came to a stop and Aaron and Rick shared a look.

They needed to go.

Carl passed Judith off to Carol as Eric quickly turned the car off and opened the doors and Aaron, Rick, and Carl quickly moved out.

The group rushed towards the gate as it slid open for them. Rick and Carl hardly had time to admire the community before Aaron waved his hand at them, “Come on. Medical center is over here.”

They hurriedly followed after Aaron and Eric as they ran towards one of the closest buildings and people stared as they sprinted past. Rick couldn’t have given less of a shit as he just ran after them.

Aaron barreled towards a house and quickly threw the door open. Rick’s eyes widened at the sound of his wife crying out. Rick shoved past Aaron and rushed toward the room. The continuing cries became louder from the door at the end of the hallway.

Rick quickly grabbed the handle and threw the door open and there she was. His wife was laying up against a mountain of pillows with her legs propped up.

Dear god.

Her eyes pooled with tears at the sight of her husband alive and in front of her. She released the sheets from her clutched hands and reached out for Rick, “Rick- oh my god.”

Rick went to rush to her when a woman quickly moved in front of him, “Woah! Okay, I know you want to see her, but you’re gonna put her and the baby at risk if you don’t wash everything off of you.”

Rick hadn’t really considered that it’d been months since he’d showered properly. He looked at his hands and found they were covered with blood and walker remains. He hadn’t even thought about it.

“Denise he can- he can stand up by my head and he won’t touch the baby until he’s clean. Right Rick? I can’t do this without him,” She said squeezing her eyes shut and crying out in pain.

Rick nodded frantically, desperate to touch his wife himself after months apart.

Denise looked hesitant, but let out a frustrated sigh, “At least scrub your arms and hands with soap quickly and put on that surgical gown just in case.”

Rick didn’t say another word as he quickly rushed toward the other room where the woman pointed. He moved to the sink and scrubbed at his hands so hard they felt raw. The sink turned red as his hands were washed clean of all the remnants of the outside world. Carl quickly sprinted in, turned on the sink next to him, and did the same.

Once Rick felt like his hands and forearms were clean of blood and filth, he put the surgical gown on and rushed back into the room.

“You have to push! Come on deep breath and bear down,” Denise said as she stood between her legs.

She breathed heavily as she pushed for ten seconds, before she laid back and let out a groan of pain. Rick moved to her side and quickly took one of her hands in his own and pressed it to his lips. Rick tried to force back his tears and the emotions threatening to overcome him as he finally had his wife right in front of him.

She tiredly smiled up at him, her eyes shiny with unshed tears, “Hey Sheriff.”

Rick chuckled before he quickly captured her lips, “Hey darlin.”

Her smile was interrupted as she squeezed her eyes in pain and clutched onto his hand tightly.

“How’s she doin Doc?” Rick asked worriedly, Lori’s death at the front of his mind.

Denise tried to smile comfortingly and said, “She’s doing great, but you’ve got to keep pushing. Baby’s almost here.”

Rick looked down at his wife and squeezed her hand, “You can do it. I’m right here.”

“Me too,” Carl said as he rushed to her other side.

Her eyes brightened at the sight of her son at her side. She took Carl’s hand and nodded as she sat up, “Yeah, I’ve got you two now. I can do this.”

“Fuck yeah you can mom,” Carl said beaming at her.

Rick laughed at his words and she shook her head with a loving smile directed at him, “I missed you, but watch your language baby.”

Carl smirked and he and his dad shared a look as she got ready. Denise smiled at the family before clearing her throat, “Okay, after this next contraction you need to push again. Make it count you’re almost there.”

She nodded and shared a nervous look with Rick. Rick squeezed her hand and quickly kissed her forehead, “You can do this baby. We’re right here.”

She nodded before letting out a shaky breath and squeezing her eyes shut as Denise indicated for her to push. After the seconds of silence she cried out and fell back, but Rick quickly slid his arm around her waist to catch her, “You’re doing great darlin.”

She nodded against his shoulder as she mentally prepared herself to push again.

“I can see the head. One more good push and it’ll be done,” Denise said.

She nodded and she took another deep breath, “That better be a goddamn promise Denise.”

Denise smiled and shook her head, “If it’s not, I’ll give you my bottle of bourbon.”

She let out a shaky laugh and smiled at her, “You’ve got a deal.”

She looked at both of her boys and felt determination swell in her chest. She felt the contraction come on and she pushed with everything she had.

Rick brushed the hair out of her face as she cried out again. Then the room was filled with a sharp cry.

Rick felt his whole body tense as Denise beamed at them as she lifted the baby up, “It’s a girl. She’s beautiful.”

She immediately began to cry as Denise nodded at Rick, “Wanna cut the umbilical cord dad?”

Rick nodded and shared a look with Carl. Carl nodded and quickly moved his arm around his mom to support her sitting up as tears of joy streaked down his face. Rick took the scissors and cut the umbilical cord where she directed as she quickly cleaned his daughter.

Carl helped his mom get more comfortable on the pillows as they waited for Denise. Carl pressed a kiss to her cheek, “I love you mom.”

She smiled up at her oldest boy, “I love you too baby. I’m so glad you’re here. I couldn’t have done this without you.”

Rick’s eyes were full of tears as he carefully looked over Denise’s shoulder as she checked over his daughter. He hadn’t really felt this way since Carl was born. He felt like he was teetering on an edge as he waited to see his youngest daughter.

Denise turned around and Rick moved to her side. Denise smiled softly as she carefully passed the small bundle to her outstretched arms, “She’s healthy and looks perfect. You did great Y/N.”

She let out a choked sob as she took her daughter into her arms, “Hey sweetheart.”

Rick finally let his tears fall as he looked down at his beautiful daughter. She leaned into Rick’s embrace and gently stroked her baby’s cheek, “You’re so so loved already.”

Carl sniffled as he leaned closer to his mom to get a better look at his youngest sister. She looked up at him and smiled brightly, “This is your big brother, Carl. He’s gonna be the best big brother ever and he’s always gonna be there for you .”

Carl nodded as she lifted her up closer to him so he could see her for a moment. Then she turned and her eyes met Rick’s that were filled with emotion. She moved her daughter now to Rick’s side so he could see his little girl.

“This is your daddy. He looks mean and grumpy, but he’s a softie I promise. He’ll always keep you safe,” She said with a gentle smile as he got to look at his daughter.

Rick brushed his finger over her small cheeks and choked out sob. He pressed a kiss to his wife’s head, “I love you more than anything. Thank you.”

She pulled away from him before she leaned up and kissed him. She pulled away breathlessly and smiled before moving her gaze to her daughter, “You can thank Hope for getting us here. I would have died a long time ago if I hadn’t been fighting for her.”

Rick raised an eyebrow and smiled, “Hope? That’s her name?”

She nodded resolutely and beamed, “Been calling her Hope since I found out I was pregnant. Hope Willow Grimes.”

Rick nodded and smiled down at his daughter, “Hope’s a great name for her.”

She nodded before turning to give her boys a tired look, “As much as I love you both, you reek of blood and sweat. Aaron can take you to one of the empty houses to get cleaned up. Then you can come back and hold her. Okay?”

Rick felt his whole being begging him to stay, but she was right. He pressed a kiss to her head and looked down at his daughter before stepping away, “Kay, but you send someone for us if you need anything.”

She nodded as Rick and Carl moved towards the door, “Got it Sheriff. Will you bring back Judith and the others?”

Rick nodded and smiled, “Promise. Trust me they’ll be begging to come see you as soon as we get there.”

“Well, tell ‘em I’ll give ‘em a pass for not getting a baby gift in time,” She joked as she rocked their daughter gently.

A knock came from the door and they all turned to find Aaron and Eric standing there. They both stepped into the room and Aaron smiled sheepishly, “Sorry, we didn’t wanna intrude, but I overheard you. I’ll take them to the house Deanna is setting them up in. She’s gonna set your group up in three houses. Some of the residents are moving your stuff into a separate house so you guys will be together.”

Y/N smiled and waved them into the room, “You’d never intrude. Come see her.”

Eric moved to her side and smiled down at the baby. Aaron held out his hand for Rick to shake, “Congratulations.”

Rick paused for a moment before pulling Aaron in for a tight hug. Aaron tensed for a moment before clapping Rick on the back. They pulled apart and Rick nodded in thanks, “This is all cause of you. Thank you.”

Aaron smiled at the sight of his husband and friend cooing over the baby, “Come on. I’ll take you guys to get cleaned up.”

The boys hesitantly followed after him and to the house. An hour passed and Y/N fed her daughter as she talked to Eric.

“When you mentioned your husband he wasn’t quite what I pictured,” Eric said as he rocked back in his chair.

She raised an eyebrow at him, “What’s so different?”

Eric rolled his eyes, “Y’know for being in an apocalypse where you don’t have many options you bagged one of the finest men I have ever seen.”

She burst out laughing as she grinned at him, “Oh, I know. Trust me I was fighting off women left and right when we lived at the prison. You better believe if I see Jessie anywhere near him or my kids I’ll throw her out like a farm cat.”

Eric snorted and beamed, “I believe it. I’d love to see you take her down. She’s had it coming for years.”

A soft knock came from the door and Y/N sat up and adjusted her little girl in her arms, “Come in.”

The door slowly opened and her husband came into view and her eyes lit up. Rick came in and walked over to her. Eric smiled at the pair and stood up, “I’m gonna go make sure you guys have everything set up.”

She smiled softly at him as he moved to the doorway, “Thank you.”

Eric nodded and shut the door behind him. Rick had changed into new clothes and cleaned up his beard now. He came and sat at her side on the bed, “You feelin okay darlin?”

She nodded and leaned against his shoulder, “About as good as you can be after pushing a baby out of you.”

Rick chuckled in response and she met his eyes. Rick cupped her face as her eyes lit up teasingly, “Lookin good Sherriff.”

Rick pulled her in and pressed a firm kiss against her lips. After a moment passed they pulled apart and she muttered, “I love you.”

Rick kissed her quickly again and moved back, “I love you too.”

“Wanna hold her?” She asked gently holding her out to Rick.

Rick swallowed nervously and held out his arms and she passed Hope into his arms. Rick let out a shaky laugh as he finally got to hold her. He shared a look of awe with Y/N as he gently rocked her.

She pressed a kiss to Rick’s jaw with a smile, “You’re a natural.”

Rick smiled, his eyes staying on his youngest, “Comes with practice.”

The pair were silent for awhile as they watched their daughter. Y/N let out a shaky breath and leaned her head on Rick’s shoulder, “Who isn’t here?”

The silence was palpable between them as she pressed a kiss to Rick’s shoulder, “I- I just need to know, please.”

Rick nodded, keeping his eyes on their youngest, “Beth. She escaped with Daryl, but she got kidnapped by a group in Atlanta. We almost got her back, but she got killed before we could leave.”

Y/N swallowed back her tears and pressed her head into his shoulder and squeezed his arm, “Y’know no one would ever blame you for that, right? You tried your best and that’s all you can do sometimes.”

Rick nodded silently before pressing a kiss to her head. Y/N reached out to brush her finger over Hope’s soft cheek. Rick leaned back and wrapped an arm around Y/N’s shoulders and held his daughter with the other, “Anything we need to know about here?”

Y/N sighed heavily, “They’re weak. These people never learned how to survive outside the walls, because they never had to. Deanna understands what the world is and usually lets me call the shots when it comes to anything outside the walls.”

“Any pushback?” Rick said as he gently rocked Hope.

Y/N scoffed at his words, “Yeah, just a bit.”

“Anyone I need to kill?” Rick joked dryly, his arm tightening around her.

“Not yet. Deanna’s son, Spencer, is a liability. He doesn’t appreciate that I completely changed their tactics for runs, even if it was getting people killed. Spencer and his friend Nicholas are pretty much all talk, but they’re not shy about opposing anything I say. Oh, and watch out for Jessie,” She said leaning further into Rick’s chest, annoyance filling her while thinking about the town home wrecker.

Rick narrowed his eyes at her change in demeanor. He gently lifted her chin so she would meet his gaze. Despite having just given birth to their child, she still felt a pang of insecurity claw at her heart. Rick held her chin gently in his hand as his intense blue eyes met hers, “I have killed people to protect you. I would kill anyone to keep this family safe. You are the only woman I will ever want. Tell me you know that.”

Y/N smiled somewhat bashfully at his words. Those words would have terrified her in the world before it fell, but now it was a declaration of the highest love. She nodded and pressed her lips to his. It was almost as if no time had ever passed as they fell back into a routine with one another.

She pulled away breathlessly and met Rick’s expectant gaze. She let out a breath, “I know.”

Rick nodded and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Hope cooed and stretched her arms out with a yawn. A knock sounded out and Rick moved the the door, his youngest cradled securely in his arms. He opened the door and then Carl stepped in with Judith on his hip. Y/N burst into tears at the sight of her daughter. Judith reached out her arms as she saw her, “Momma.”

Carl came over and sat next to his mom and Y/N was quick to take her into her arms. She pressed a kiss to Judith’s head, “Oh, babygirl I missed you so much.”

Judith clutched onto her shirt and snuggled into her mom. Y/N rubbed Judith’s back with one hand and reached over and pulled Carl into a tight hug. Carl sighed and leaned into his mom’s embrace. She pressed a kiss to the side of Carl’s head, “Thank you for keeping him alive.”

She and Carl shared a look of understanding as they pulled away. Rick came over, looking like a true dad with Hope in one arm and his other hand tucked in his jean pocket. Y/N wiped her tears and sat Judith on her lap as Rick came and sat next to her. She looked around at her family and smiled, “I don’t believe in god, but thank whoever the hell is in charge up there that brought y’all back to me.”

Rick smiled and kissed the side of her head, “Damn right.”

Then a knock came from the door and Maggie popped her head in. Maggie rushed over to Y/N as the rest of the group followed in. Y/N swore she’d cried all of her tears, but each hug she gave to the members of the group brought on a new onslaught.

After each member of the group had been properly introduced to their daughter Rick stood off in the corner. He looked around the room, Hope settled safely in the crook of his arm. This was the happiest he’d seen the group in years.

Carl had yet to move from Y/N’ side, as Judith happily sat on his lap playing with her mom’s hand. Rick was certain he had never seen Y/N look so beautiful. She was beaming as she talked to Glenn and Maggie, despite the fact that she’d given birth hours earlier.

“She’s just like Lil Ass Kicker.”

Rick chuckled as Daryl came to his side. He looked down at his daughter lovingly and sighed, “This is what we fight for. Everythin we do is for everyone in this room.”

Daryl made a noise in agreement, “We keep going for shit like this.”

Rick met his wife’s eyes and she was quick to shoot him a wink, before she turned and pulled Carl closer to her into a hug. He sighed, his heart feeling full for the first time in months. Herschel had told him years ago that every day was a choice.

He would to choose to keep his family in the room safe everyday for the rest of his life. No matter what it cost.

[padfootagain]

Only an Almost (XVI)

Chapter 16: Fare Well

Hi! Here comes a new chapter!

Okay, time to talk…

Sorry for the angst in advance…

I hope you’ll like this chapter! Please, tell me what you think!

*************************************

Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader, friends with benefits AU

Warning: No explicit smut or nsfw content, but there are sexual themes and heavy make-out sessions (it’s a friends with benefits AU, I can’t really escape it), so 18+ only!

Summary: Andrew has been in love with you for years, and yet he has never confessed his feelings. But a night out celebrating the engagement of his best friend changes everything. However, you don't seem ready to be with him just yet. You make him an offer that he can't refuse... but will certainly regret.

Word Count : 2496

Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist

This was a terrible idea.

Andrew hesitated one last time before knocking on your door.

This was a terrible idea. He was going to get his heart broken all over again. What was there to discuss anyway? You had met someone else, someone better than him… end of story.

He buried his hands in the pockets of his jacket while he waited for you to open the door. It was springtime, and yet the evening was particularly cold tonight. A clear sky above his head though, all inky and full of stars.

God, he shouldn’t have come…

Finally, the key turned in the lock, and the next second your door was opening. You welcomed him with a timid but earnest smile.

“Hi! Come in… do you want some tea?”

You didn’t wait for his answer, hurried to close the door behind him as if you were worried he would run away. He barely let out a ‘good evening’ that you were off to the kitchen, busying yourself with tea even if it was late already.

Still, he walked in silence in your kitchen, let you get away with the distraction. He waited in silence, unwilling to be the first to speak.

“Here you go,” you added as you handed him the grey mug he loved best. Two teabags. The same ritual you had performed for him hundreds, if not thousands of times…

“Thank you,” his voice was quiet and blank.

The atmosphere was heavy, suffocating, even. His heart was pounding, and Andrew didn’t have the strength to look at you. He shouldn’t have come. Being rejected once was painful enough, he didn’t need you to do it again…

“Thank you for coming tonight,” you said, hesitation making your voice quiet and small. “Do you want to sit down?” you added as you gestured towards the living room, but Andrew shook his head.

“No, I’d rather stand.”

Slowly, you nodded. You remained both standing there, under the pale light of your kitchen, your back to the sink and his to the counter open on the living room. He was still holding his tea, but he didn’t want to drink it. The heat sipping through the porcelain was a good distraction against his tight throat though.

“You… You want to eat something? I have some biscuits…”

“Y/N… thank you, but… I’d rather get this over with.”

You hummed, pulling on your sleeves until they covered your hands. Andrew noticed that you hadn’t made any tea for yourself.

“Right… We should… talk about what happened.”

“Did you go to the date? With Maggie?”

He finally looked up when you remained silent. You seemed taken aback by his question.

“Yeah… Yes, I did.”

“Did you sleep with her?”

“Andy!”

“What? We’re close enough for us to have sex, but I can’t know if you’ve found someone else?”

You shifted your weight from one foot to the other. He was getting annoyed by all this, angry even. Andrew longed for this to be over, for him to go home, get threateningly drunk, maybe smoke a joint or two to make sure he could numb the pain, and forget for a few hours that you existed.

And tomorrow he would get up, and pretend that all was fine, and he would do that again and again until he could think of you without wanting to cry…

“No, we didn’t sleep together.”

“How was the date?”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Yes, I do.”

You heaved a sigh.

“I stayed a grand total of fifteen minutes…”

He frowned at that.

“Really?”

“It felt wrong.”

You added nothing to that statement, and Andrew didn’t know what to do with it. Wrong because your date wasn’t nice? Or wrong because you wanted someone else?

“Did you see her again?”

“No… no, and I don’t think I will.”

“Why not?”

You shifted again, clearly uncomfortable.

“Look, Andy… this isn’t why I wanted to see you…”

“Really? Why, then?”

“You… you ran off. When I told you, you simply… ran off. I… I’m sorry. I should have handled this better, I… I know that I didn’t break the news in the best way. I was scared of how you would react.”

He raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

“Did you ever think that I could react well to you dumping my arse?”

“I didn’t dump you…”

“Really?”

“No, because we were not together.”

Andrew clenched his jaw, put down his untouched tea on the counter behind him. He averted his gaze, crossed his arms before his chest.

“I’m sorry, Andy. I should have handled that situation better. You… you’re important to me. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause you pain.”

God, he didn’t know if he ought to cry or laugh at that.

“I know that I should have found a better way to tell you about this. But I… I hope that we can still be friends…”

“Friends?!”

He looked up again, stared at you with his mouth hanging open.

Friends?!

“No, Y/N. We’re not going to be friends.”

“But…”

“We’ve slept together. For months, we… Friends?!”

“That was our arrangement…”

“Our arrangement was a terrible idea. And it was… it was never an arrangement for me.”

“But we discussed things…”

“I shouldn’t have accepted.”

Slowly, you nodded.

It seemed to hurt you, that he showed regrets. But how could he not regret this?

He hated you for a moment, looking sad and scared like you didn’t want to lose him. And he hated you even more because he didn’t regret it. Not really. Despite all the pain he was feeling now, despite all the sleepless nights, and how desperate he was, he still didn’t regret it. He would have given anything to spend one last night with you. He would have gone through all this pain over and over again just to kiss you one more time. He would have done it all over again, just to hold you for one tiny minute…

He was bitter as he spoke. He didn’t care whether it would hurt you or not, he was too hurt himself to care about that. He needed to let it out. For once, he needed to do what was best for him, and not for you.

“Do you know what I wanted to tell you that night?”

You shook your head in silence, waiting for him to continue. You had mimicked his posture, were leaning against your sink with your arms crossed.

“I wanted to stop seeing you like this.”

Your mouth fell open in shock.

“I wanted to tell you that I… that I wanted to stop this stupid arrangement of ours. That I… That I wanted more. That I would have waited until you were ready to date again, no matter how long that would be, to be properly with you.”

His bottom lip trembled, your form was blurred with tears, but he held them back. They shone at the corners of his eyes, making the hazel turn green, but he didn’t cry.

“And you slept with me. We had sex. And then you blurted out that you didn’t give two fucks about me, and that you wanted to date someone else… after we just had sex! Do you realise how fucked up that is?!”

It was your turn to hold back your tears, averting your eyes.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, but that wasn’t good enough.

“I thought… after everything, I thought you would say yes. I thought you felt… something for me.”

“I… I do care about you, Andy, that’s not the point…”

“Do you? Is that why you thought it was respectful to have sex with me, and wait less than five minutes to reject me?!”

You didn’t say anything. He had raised his voice, although he was trying to keep it down. It made it powerful enough to make him intimidating, but shaky too, showing how vulnerable he was behind the layers of anger.

“Why did you do that? Why the fuck did you do that?!”

“Because… because I knew we had to stop this, and… I just… I know it was selfish, but I wanted to have one last night with you.”

He narrowed his eyes at you. Because it sounded like a good answer, a tempting one. You looked vulnerable, fragile even. As if this was a confession that was revealing too much of you.

But it was just a lie…

“We didn’t have one last night. We only had sex, Y/N.”

You stared at him for a while, but you refused to answer.

“You’ve only stayed once,” he reminded you. “You’ve only stayed once, and after that, it was like… like you didn’t want to remain more than twenty minutes alone with me unless we were having sex.”

“It… it was too hard to stay.”

“Too hard?”

“It was too emotional.”

His eyebrows shot up at that.

“Because having sex with me was not emotional to you? Really?”

“It’s different, and you know it.”

“No, I don’t know.”

“Acting like a couple, with domestic stuff, it’s… it’s different to fucking.”

The way you narrowed your eyes at him, the way you seemed worried now… yeah, Andrew guessed he wasn’t too good at hiding how much your words were hurting.

“Fucking… that’s all there was between us to you? That’s all I was to you?”

“That’s not what I meant...”

“That’s exactly what you meant! Christ! Are you telling me that you were just using me for sex all this time?! Why the fuck would you act like that with me if that was just about fucking, huh?! When we were… Jesus… when you…”

His voice broke, and he blinked tears away, but it wasn’t enough this time, he had to brush them off with the back of his hand.

“This is more complicated than that.”

“What’s complicated?”

“I can’t be with you, Andy. So… it was necessary to keep a certain distance, so we could still save our friendship…”

“Well, we didn’t save shit.”

“God, Andrew, I… I know that I’ve handled telling you about that stupid date badly… terribly even! But us not catching feelings was the plan all along! Don’t blame this on me!”

“So, you were just fucking me, then? All this time? There was nothing more than that?”

“Andy…”

“No! No, you answer me now! What the fuck, Y/N?! Are you really saying that I’ve been hallucinating all this time?! Because I thought… I thought you felt something… When we were lying in bed together, when we were…”

“Andy, you don’t understand.”

“No, you’re right! I don’t understand! We’ve slept together for months, several times a week, while spending our days together… we’ve been friends for years, and… and you didn’t feel anything when we were having sex? Nothing at all? Like… How could you feel nothing at all?”

“We agreed…”

“Fuck this agreement!” Andrew roared, and you visibly shook, his deep voice booming through the room. You had never heard him shout so loudly at anyone before. “Fuck your stupid rules! Fuck all this shit! How could you do this to me? How could you have sex with me and feel nothing! It felt…”

His voice broke, a tear rolled down his cheek, disappeared in his beard, caught a tiny speck of light before fading.

“It felt like it wasn’t just about pleasure. Like you were… like you… like I wasn’t just…”

He heaved a sigh, and all of a sudden he didn’t seem so tall, so intimidating. All of sudden, he was vulnerable and fragile and bent under a weight he couldn’t carry.

“God, Y/N… How could you do this to me?”

A pregnant pause stumbled across the space between your two bodies. It seemed an uncrossable chasm, a gap you couldn’t conquer anymore.

“I’m sorry, Andy… but you can’t put the blame only on me. You agreed to this. Everything was clear, we’ve discussed things…”

“But when we had sex…”

“Andy…”

“When we had sex, did you not feel anything? Something? Just… something… And what about after that? When we were holding onto each other? That morning when we had breakfast together…?”

You were blinking tears away, your arms tight around your own frame, fleeing him. Your body language was obvious, you were refusing to face the truth, or to admit it, at the very least.

“Why are you asking me this, why is it so important?”

“You truly don’t know the answer to that?”

“I don’t.”

“You fucking idiot...”

“Why would you have agreed to do this if that was not what you wanted? If you didn’t want me?”

“Didn’t want you?! Y/N… this is literally the opposite of what I’m saying!”

“I don’t understand!” you raised your voice too this time, following his lead. “We’ve discussed things! We agreed! You said you wanted me!”

“Of course, I wanted you!”

“Then why are you mad?”

“BECAUSE I WANT MORE!”

“WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY THAT?!”

“BECAUSE YOU WOULD HAVE LEFT! BECAUSE YOU DON’T…”

His voice cracked again, he let out a frustrated growl against himself and his bloody feelings that were bubbling all the way to the surface to overcome him and drown him in silence…

“WHAT… NEXT YOU’LL TELL ME YOU LOVE ME…”

“OF COURSE I DO!”

There it was, out in the open. He saw you freezing into place, eyes growing round. And he knew he had fucked up, but what was there left to destroy anyway? He couldn’t be just your friend anymore… he was losing you tonight, no matter what.

“I love you,” Andrew finally let out the words he had kept hidden for so long, they tasted sour in his mouth, and yet a weight was lifted from his chest. “I fucking love you. Of course, I love you. How could you not notice? I was always in love with you. And it was never just sex for me. It was always about making love to you. Did you… have you never made love to me? Not once? Was it just fucking? Really?”

You blinked at him. You seemed stunned in stillness, unable to move or do anything but stare at him with round eyes and parted lips. Andrew thought he knew how to understand your silence. He hated you for it. Despite all his love, while he held your blank gaze with his searching one, he hated you.

“Alright. Very well.”

He turned away, and didn’t look back as he crossed your home to the door.

“Don’t call me again, Y/N. I don’t want to hear about you ever again.” And then he was out in the street, in your driveway, into his car, driving, turning off the engines, closing the door of his car, opening his front door and stepping into his home, taking off his shoes and jacket, walking upstairs and into his bathroom and entering the shower with his clothes on. And when the cold water hit his face he finally allowed himself to let out a shout.

[scmg11]

EMILY DICKINSON x READER

YOU CANNOT PUT A FIRE OUT

A/N: HELLO HELLOO! How are you guys doing? Missed me?

Enjoy this new chapter ❤️

Sending you love ❤️

-

Summary: Emily meets Y/N at the well one day and just falls in love for her. When she tries to find her again the next days, it seems like she just disappeared. She was ready to lose hope when one day she finds her in her house to start a job as her new maid with her aunt Maggie. What will happen then?

Warnings: just slightly groping, nothing too much explicit.

Word count: 15380 words.

-

The sun beamed all over the expanse of the Dickinson’s garden, warming up Emily’s face as she decided to spend her morning outside, leaning on her favorite three and just soaking up in the calmness that was the nature. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back on the tree’s trunk surface to take a few moments of quietness in, smiling widely when she heard a few birds chirping around her, setting a warm and fuzzy feeling in her chest that always put her in a good mood. "Emily!"

The brown haired girl sighed loudly at her moment being ruined and tried to drown the sound away, but she heard it again a few seconds later and inevitably opened her eyes and turned towards the source of the sound coming from her right side, right where her house was, "yes?" Emily had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes when her mother called her name once again, ignoring her answering to her calls and making her sit up and abandon her morning in the nature to go and see whatever she needed from her.

"Emily?! Emily?!" The brown haired girl scoffed under her breath on her way back to her house, she knew her mother had head her when she was leaning on the tree but called her over nonetheless and was keeping calling her despite seeing her walking over her house, "oh Emily, dear, you’re here."

"Yes mom, what did you need? I was enjoying my day out in nature."

"I am sure it can wait, honey. I need you to go fetch water."

"Why can’t Austin or Lavinia do it?"

As if on cue the blonde made her appearance from behind Emily’s mother with what Emily deemed her trademark adorable frown since they were kids, "I did it yesterday and Austin is a man. He can’t do it."

"Right, you would believe he would be perfect for it since men’s are always bragging about themselves being strong, stronger than women, when in fact they are staying all day behind a desk while women do all the physical, exhausting stuff."

"You’re talking nonsense sweetheart." Emily rolled her eyes right in her mother’s face and grabbed the two empty buckets she had in her hands and trudged begrudgingly outside her house to walk towards the well to go fetch water as her mother asked her to.

-

"Oh no, I’m so sorry! I should’ve watched where I was going! Oh no, your dress is completely drenched, here let me help you." In mere seconds Emily bumped accidentally into a girl carrying four buckets full of water, resulting in one of them spilling over her blu navy dress, but got also got flooded with a multitude of rushed words of regret and of apology, an adorable sight that made Emily forget about her dress being completely drenched in the late summer weather.

"Don’t worry, it’s totally fine. I wasn’t watching where I was going, I had my head elsewhere. So I should be the one apologizing." Emily smiled reassuringly at the distressed girl as she desperately tried to find something to dry Emily’s dress.

"No, no. It was my fault!"

Emily tried to look at the girl’s face but it was completely covered by her hair cascading in front of it as she had her head down in search of a cloth in her small apron’s pocket she had around her hips, "I insist on taking the blame. Hey, please stop worrying. It will dry up eventually, it’s not a big deal."

"No, no. It should be here. I had it here an hour ago!"

"Hey, please. Relax, take a deep breath." Emily tried to calm the girl down and for the first time she seemed to do listen to her, sighing loudly as she took her hands out of her apron’s pocket and lifted her head up slowly.

Emily felt like the world stopped existing for just a moment when her eyes met the girl’s ones, establishing a connection that send a thrill down her spine and that lighted up her whole body, a sensation she had never felt before. "Are you okay?"

Emily took her time to commit to memory every single feature on the girl’s face, from the perfect slope of her nose to the soft bump of her cheekbones, from the gentle but still defined angle of her jaw, to the smooth surface of her chin and finally focusing all her attention on the plumpness of her velvety lips. Emily almost got lost again in the vastness of the girl’s eyes when she met them again that she almost forgot to answer the girl’s question, making her appear a bit dumb in front of her for gawking at her, "yeah, yes. I’m fine. Totally fine. Great. Hm-." Emily cleared her throat to stop herself from embarrassing herself some more continued with a regained composure, "how about you? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I am fine. Thank you."

"Good, I’m glad to hear that." Emily smiled gently at the girl before shaking her head as if she was the dumbest person on earth, "I’m Emily by the way."

"Y/N." The girl smiled gently at the poet while putting a strand of hair that fell in front of her face behind her ear, a gesture that made Emily’s brain melt as she took in the girl’s beauty.

"Y/N." Emily repeated, testing the girl’s name out, feeling a warmth spreading throughout her entire body as the name rolled over her tongue. "I like it. Y/N. It’s a really pretty name."

"Thank you. Emily is a great name too."

"Yeah, it has a Latin origin, it-."

"It’s a Roman name. It means laborious and eager among other things." Y/N interjected the brunette before she could speak and Emily had never felt so infatuated by someone in so little time.

"Yeah, how do you know that?"

"I like reading a lot. I do it whenever I can." Emily didn’t know it could have been possibile being interested in someone in so very little time, but she was starting to feel something for this girl, something she had only felt for one person only before.

"I like that too, a lot. What are you reading right now?"

"I just finished reading ‘The Old Curiosity Shop’ by Dickens. I liked it. What about you?"

"I am in the middle of reading The Divine Comedy by Dante. I’m halfway through Inferno."

"Oh I liked it a lot even though Purgatorio and Paradiso are just as beautiful. I mean his writing style gets more complex and more refined after each part."

Emily felt like she was floating through a new dimension where only Y/N and her existed, instigating a myriad of new emotions Emily never felt before that mixed with a few ones she only felt for Sue. "Wow, I-. I don’t know what to say. It’s the first time I hear someone talk about Dante’s amazing work without it being repeated from some stupid journalist’s review. No one really care to really read it. Or at least comprehend its real meaning behind his words."

"Because not everyone can see through what’s in front of them. There’s beauty hidden in every single thing we know, creating something new that just awaits to be discovered, studied. Most people just waits for someone else to do it." Y/N reasoned with a shrug, like she just didn’t made Emily fall madly in love with her brain.

"Wow- I- I feel like you had been in my mind and found a way to make it speak for itself. You-."

"Y/N! Are you ready to go?!" The poet got interrupted by a loud voice coming from behind Emily and when she turned around to look at who was yelling, she found a middle-aged woman with blonde hair styled in a perfect, classy bun, a blue dress with an apron on her front similar to Y/N’s one waving at her from the grocery’s shop a few feet from them.

"Sorry, I need to go. It was great talking with you Emily."

Emily felt her stomach drop at the aspect of having to part ways with Y/N, trying to find a way to prolong their time together. As she closed herself in her mind to think she didn’t notice Y/N refilling the bucket she unwillingly spilled over Emily and walked towards the woman, saluting Emily with a small nod. The gesture pulled Emily out of her thoughts and coming up empty-handed with ideas to make Y/N stay with her a bit longer, she could only sigh out loud, resigned but also completely smitten for the Y/H/C girl, before letting out softly, "the pleasure was all mine Y/N."

-

"Emily, where is the water?"

"What?" Emily got ripped out of her own thoughts full of the mysterious and intriguing Y/N by her mother as soon as she entered her house, her mother stopping her in their small hallway in front of the door and the living rooms before she could run upstairs and let her thoughts flow freely as she wrote a poem or two.

"The water Emily. I sent you fetching water an hour ago. Where is it?"

"Oh shit!" Emily just then noticed she came home empty-handed, she forgot her empty buckets at the well after her encounter with Y/N. "I forgot them at the well!"

"How?! You went there just for fetching water. How did you manage to forget that Emily?"

"I- I gotta go. Later!"

"Emily!"

"I don’t have time mom, I need to-." Emily got stopped mid-sentence and in her track towards her house’s door by her mother’s authoritative voice calling her from the living room.

"Emily! Come here, now."

"Mom, I have everything under control. I got distracted and I forgot the buckets there. I will be quick. I will go get them, fetch water and come back here." Emily explained quickly, hoping her mother wouldn’t be so much angry at herself for not doing what she asked her to do and getting ready for her scolding when she sighed out loud, pinched the bridge of her nose angrily and closed her eyes.

"It’s not that Emily. You are always avoiding doing chores, always complaining about them and never doing them in the end. It’s time for you to grow up. You will need to know how to be a proper housewife."

"But mom, I-."

"No buts." Emily’s mother ended their discussion with those final words spoken with authority and nodded at her daughter when she nodded dejected at her not winning this argument. "Since Lavinia is going to get a few groceries from the store and I’m going with her with the carriage, I’m going to go fetch water, while you’ll go into your room and think about what you did."

"Okay, mom. I’m so sorry." Emily’s mother smiled gently at her daughter for apologizing and laid a soft kiss on her forehead before she walked towards the stairs that would led to the first floor where the bedrooms were. She smiled apologetically at her mother once again but before she could go up the stairs and into her room to think and most importantly let her mind flow with writing her poems, she got stopped in her tracks.

"What is happening here?" Emily turned around at the sound of her father’s voice reaching her ears as he made his way into the living room after exiting his office, where he had been holed up the whole morning.

"Edward, your daughter Emily this morning was tasked to go fetch water and after disappearing for more than an hour, she also forgot our buckets at the well. Unbelievable!" Emily hung her head down in shame and closed her eyes to get herself ready for one of her father’s scoldings, not particularly thrilled on having her good mood ruined right now, but she had a feeling it was coming anyway as it was well due after her forgetting their buckets at the well.

"But also hilarious." Emily lifted her head up in shock after hearing her father’s words, not exactly expecting them, and widened her eyes comically. What was actually hilarious to Emily was her mother’s bewildered expression that stretched over her face as she stared in shock at her father. If she wasn’t already walking on thin ice, she would have laughed at her mother’s expression, so she kept quiet and listened to the conversation unfolding in front of her.

"Excuse me, dear, what?!"

"Oh c’mon, Mrs. Dickinson. You have to admit, it’s funny." Emily laughed nervously when her father started laughing loudly while looking at her mother then at her.

"But-." Emily bit on her bottom lip to prevent her smile to widen when her mother tried to reason with her father but he waved her off with a few chuckles still coming out of his lips.

"Oh, come on now Mrs. Dickinson. I know you want to laugh." Edward smiled at his wife and pointed his finger at the blonde woman, not putting it down until she saw a small grin making its way onto the woman’s lips, "ah there it is!"

"Oh dear, always finding a way to laugh! Anyway, I’m going with Lavinia to the grocery store and to retrieve our buckets to fetch water for dinner tonight."

"Great, I’m coming with you girls. I need to go to speak to Ronald about a really important matter I worked on this morning."

"Oh that’s wonderful, dear. Emily, why don’t you make it up to us by starting dinner?" Emily almost let her jaw drop down on the floor at her mother’s request. She knew she wasn’t a great cook, she hated cooking and something always ended up catching fire. But she also knew this was her mother’s way to tell her she wasn’t forgiven for the fetching water fiasco as her father made it sound and as much as she wanted to fight over it, she knew there wasn’t a way out of this. Oh, well it was worth a try.

"Mom, I don’t th-."

"Oh what a wonderful idea Mrs. Dickinson! I can’t wait to taste what you will prepare for us Emily! Let’s go now, we are gonna be late!"

Emily sighed dejected while making her way towards the kitchen to start up dinner and as she tried to not set the whole house on fire, she let her mind fill with the few memories she had of Y/N. She was fascinating, captivating, alluring. She piqued Emily’s interest with just a few words and when Y/N expressed her passion for books, ignited a fire in Emily that had been extinguished since she had broken things off with Sue. Could that mean something? Emily was sure she felt their souls connect in such a raw and deep way she had never experienced before, but would that be enough for Y/N as it was for her? As she started baking the freshly made loaf of bread, a sudden need to know if Y/N felt the same hit her and with a renewed determination she set her mind to try to encounter the Y/H/C girl the next morning.

-

"Good morning my dear mother." Emily entered the kitchen with a grin so bright they could have used it to light up the whole house at night, arousing suspects from her mother that stared at her warily as she watched her make her way towards her as she prepared their breakfast.

"Emily, good morning to you too. Did something happen that put you in a good mood?"

"Nothing in particular. I just woke up like this today. Do you need help? I still want to make it up to you again for yesterday. Maybe I can go fetch the water again? This time I will bring back the buckets, I promise." Emily tried to be as subtle as she could without making her mother ask the real reasons behind her intentions on wanting to go fetch water, finishing with a joke to sell it better.

"Oh sweety, what a wonderful idea. You can help me with putting everything in the living room. And don’t worry about fetching water, Vinnie already went this morning."

With her heart sinking down in her stomach, she reluctantly grabbed the tray full of their breakfast her mother already prepared to the living room, trudging a bit in her steps as she tried to think of another strategy to meet Y/N again.

-

"Emily can you please help me with dinner?"

"I can’t mom, I need to write. I don’t have time to help you with dinner or chores."

"Well, I am sure it can wait." Emily snorted under her breath at her mother’s rebuttal as she made her way into her room.

"No mom, it sadly can’t. When words flow out of me I can’t stop them or ask them to wait to help with chores."

"It’s worth a try, isn’t it? I need help Emily, Vinnie is setting the table after cleaning the house, so you’re the one who will help me. C’mon, it will be fun!"

"I’m sure it will, but I really can’t right now. It would be so much easier if we get a housemaid to help you out."

"You are talking nonsense Emily, I am perfectly capable of doing it all by myself and with the help of my daughters everything can be done faster, so now please come down with me and help me out. You will write later." Emily sighed out as she let her pencil fall down on her desk, the soft clinking sound of the pencil hitting the wooden surface of her desk calmed Emily just a little, making a quick grin appear on her lips before a small frown took its place. The poet sat up slowly from her desk, placing both of her hands on it to slowly stand up, the screeching sound of the chair moving back filling the sudden silent room as her mother watched her movements with rapt attention.

"I will help you for just a bit, but I can’t take too long on helping you with chores because I’m really trying to finish a poem."

"That’s the spirit! C’mon honey, I will show you how to make the perfect roasted chicken that will make you the perfect housewife every gentleman would love to marry."

More like gentlewoman. Emily added in her mind and as soon as that thought came into her mind, Y/N appeared right after as she smiled lovingly at her. That instantly made Emily stop in her tracks on the stairs, watching blankly her mother’s back as she descended the stairs and rambled about roasted chicken Emily wasn’t interested in listening at the moment. What made Emily freeze in her spot was the fact that for the first time since she could remember she didn’t imagine marrying Sue. She imagined Y/N. And that thought excited her to no end, instead of scaring her. "Shit." Emily sighed dopily as she smiled with her eyes full of love as another image of Y/N waving at her entered her mind.

"Emily, hurry up!" Emily let her dumb smile linger a few more seconds on her features before shaking her head and resuming her way down the stairs to join her mother in the kitchen and help her with their dinner.

-

"We should hire a maid to help mom out in the house."

"What?"

"We should hire a maid to help mom out in the house."

"I heard you the first time dear, I was just shocked by the request." Edward smiled gently at her daughter repeating herself before going back to being serious as he regarded her with a curious look in his features. "Why should we hire a maid? Your mother is perfectly capable of doing a good job here."

"Ah- a great job dear! I told you this earlier Emily. We don’t need a maid."

"But it would be so much easier for you. For all of us! She would help mom with chores so she doesn’t tire herself out every single day. And she would do a lot of things mom asks me or Vinnie to do. C’mon dad, think about it!"

"Well-."

"Edward you are not seriously considering it, aren’t you?"

"Honey, she is not completely wrong. She would help you out, you know I hate how much tired you are at the end of the day."

They kept discussing it for a few more minutes as they enjoyed their dinner but when the dessert came, her mother served it in an unsettling silence so they moved onto a new subject Emily wasn’t interested in listening. As she ate her dessert she couldn’t help but let her eyes linger on her mother a few times and observed her as she stayed quiet for the rest of the dinner with a sad expression on her features. Despite her mother not taking assuming a maid to help her too well, Emily was sure she will come around eventually. Emily knew she was asking to hire a maid to have more time to write but she also really wanted her to help her mother and ease her load of work to do in the house.

-

"Good morning dear family."

"Good morning to you too Edward." Emily’s mother smiled widely at her husband as she finished serving everybody’s breakfast before her grin got ten times wider and brighter when Edward leaned over and kissed her gently.

"Hm, I can smell so many delicious things today." Emily watched as her father sat down in his chair and brought up his newspaper to read the news, his smile never dampening.

"I can see you are in a good mood this morning, dear."

"Because I am."

"I’m glad to hear that, honey."

"How is my family doing this morning?" Edward brought his newspaper down after reading a few paragraphs of the first news and took a sip of his tea, then moving onto taking a bite of her wife’s famous scones, humming in satisfaction at the taste.

"I am good dad, I just finished reading an article about financial management that I found pretty interesting." Austin was the first to speak up after taking a sip of his own tea, smiling at his father as he did so when he nodded at him in understanding.

"And what about my girls?"

"Last night I finished sewing a pillow for my cat, he loves it!" Lavinia announced with a bright grin, her enthusiasm filling the room as everyone at the table smiled at the ecstatic blonde.

"I finished a few poems I was working on."

"That’s great guys, I see everyone is proud of their achievements! But now let’s move on why I am in a good mood today. There is a reason and that said reason is- after considering it for the last few days, I decided that we will hire a maid to help in the house!"

"What?!" Everyone exclaimed at the table at the same time with excited tones, except for Mrs. Dickinson, who looked at her husband like he went completely nuts.

"Yeah!" Edward smiled alongside his son and daughters, not noticing her wife’s expression yet, "I thought about it and in the end it was a really great idea Emily!"

"I’m so happy to hear that dad!"

"Honey, why are you doing this?" Mrs. Dickinson finally found her voice to speak up and asked in a strained tone the first thing that came up in her hazed mind still shocked from the news Edward delivered.

"Oh dear, it will be good for the house and for you. You tire yourself up too much for this house."

"But- I’m fine."

"I know you want to make it look like it, but I know some days are really stressful. I see how spent you are after those days at night. I’m doing this for you too!" Edward explained calmly as he enjoyed his breakfast, his good mood still on.

"Yeah, I can be a little tired, but a great night of sleep sweeps it all away and restores my energy back."

"I am sure of that, but it will good! We can do more small trips or spend days differently when I am not working and you’re not thinking about doing any kind of chore in the house."

"Yeah, mom, it will be good for everyone here, you’ll see!" Austin butted in with a cheerful tone and nodded at her mother still looking worried and skeptic.

"Yeah mom, you can finally focus on yourself a bit more." Lavinia then decided to add her thoughts too, trying to encourage her mother on relaxing on this topic, although she knew it was a sore spot since she always aspired to be a great housewife and having a maid restrained her from doing that in her mind.

"Mom, think about it, you can find a new hobby with the extra free time you will have!" It was Emily this time that spoke up, encouraging her mother with a brighter-than-the-sun grin that unfortunately her mother didn’t reciprocate as she stayed frozen in her chair with her eyebrows furrowed together and a sad expression on her features.

"See? The kids have all good points!" Edward looked at his wife with a wide grin, nodding at her encouragingly, "anyway, the decision is already made. They are coming here tonight."

"They?" Emily wanted to snort under her breath at the outraged tone her mother used to pose the question to her father, but decided to stay still for once and enjoy the show in front of her.

"Yeah, two of them. One of my dearest friends is moving to Minnesota and he doesn’t need his maids anymore since he won’t take them with him, so they are coming here. He told me they are the best maids in Amherst. An Irish woman and her niece."

"That’s so exciting!" Lavinia exclaimed as she clapped her hands enthusiastically, making Emily and Austin smile fondly at her.

-

"Ah, good evening! Come inside please!"

"Good evening Mr. Dickinson." Emily could hear from downstairs his father greeting guests at the door but she shrugged and went back to her poem, but for some reason her attention shifted back to the new guests in their house and after a few more attempt of focusing to write a few more lines in vain, the poet gave up and sighed out loud as she placed everything in her small drawer in her desk, before sitting up from the chair and making her way downstairs to greet their guests.

"We’re so happy to have you here!"

"The pleasure is all ours Mr. Dickinson." An Irish accent waved through the air, increasing Emily’s curiosity and made her almost sprint down the stairs to go see the new maids as soon as she realized who their guests were.

"Oh Lavinia, come here. They are our new maids."

"Nice to meet you!"

"Nice to meet you Miss Dickinson." Something like a familiar voice reached Emily’s ears as she descended the last few steps and almost fell down of them when she got at the top of the last set of stairs and her eyes met with a pair of wonderful, familiar irises.

"The pleasure is all mine, trust me!"

"Ah, Emily! You are here too. They are our new maids."

"Oh hello Miss Dickinson."

"Good evening Miss Dickinson."

"H-hello. Just call me Emily, please." The poet found the strength to descend the last few steps and even talk coherently before walking slowly towards the two new guests in her house, stopping right beside her father.

"You will meet my son soon. He is coming here with his wife tonight. And about my wife, I really don’t know where she is." Edward joked, making the two guests laugh softly under their breath, clear, wide smiles etched on their lips. "Anyway, they are Mrs. Maggie and Miss Y/N."

"It’s a real pleasure meeting you both." Lavinia butted in sincerely and nodded at them softly, meanwhile Emily still tried to properly kickstart her brain.

"It’s a pleasure for me too. I hope you will enjoy staying here."

"Oh Miss Dickinson, I am sure it will be amazing staying here." Maggie countered back with a warm grin, mirrored by Y/N right after with a small nod of her head.

"Alright, girls would you mind showing them around?"

"I need to finish a few things for my art lesson tomorrow." Lavinia admitted dejectedly and the fact that she could potentially be alone with Y/N again thrilled Emily to no end.

"I can show them around the house, no problem Vinnie. Dad we will see you later."

"Okay, have fun!" Emily smiled and nodded at her father before dorkily lifting her thumb up and saluted him before signaling Y/N and Maggie to follow her in the kitchen.

"Alright, this is the kitchen. A place my mom likes to call her kingdom." Emily joked with a soft snort that morphed into a squeal when her mother appeared out of nowhere.

"That’s right dear."

"Mom! You scared our guests!"

"I think you were the most scared here, honey." Emily rolled her eyes at her mother’s teasing and shook her head with an amused smile.

"Mom, they are Y/N and Maggie. Our new maids."

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Dickinson." Y/N was the first to speak up, trying to look cool when inside she was freaking out about meeting Emily again. She thought she would’ve never encountered her again.

"It’s a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Dickinson."

"You are so young Maggie." Emily smiled subtly as she sunk her teeth on her bottom lip to prevent to be caught laughing about her mother being so caught up in being mad for having maids in their house that she didn’t even pay attention remember their names, since she called Y/N Maggie.

"Mom, she is Y/N. She is Maggie." Emily emphasized the word ‘she’ as she pointed to the redhead and noticed, to her surprise, that both of their guests had amusement on their faces.

"Oh sorry, I have a terrible headache and I do not have my usual laser focused attention on anything today." Emily’s mother tried to cover up her mistake with a made up lie and laughed softly to light the air up quickly.

"Ah you should see me with an headache, I don’t even walk straight. I bump into things all the time." The redhead joked before moving on telling Emily’s mother an old Irish remedy for headache.

-

After a delicious dinner her mother prepared Y/N and Maggie disappeared into the kitchen to clean everything up, despite her mother’s protests, who in the end stayed still in her loveseat in the living room. The whole family stayed about an half an hour to chat, before everyone called it a night, saying goodbye to Sue and Austin, before going upstairs to sleep. Emily stayed in the living room a little bit more to pretend to read, staring at the words written on her book, as she waited for the perfect moment to ‘casually bump’ into Y/N before she could go to sleep in her room. Luckily she didn’t have to wait too long. "Go to bed aunt Maggie. We are almost done. I can finish the last touches myself."

"Are you sure?" Emily could hear the hesitation in Maggie’s tone, not wanting her niece to finish alone, but she could already picture Y/N protest with a resolute nod despite not knowing the girl at all except for a few details they shared a few days prior.

"I am sure auntie. Go. I will finish this up quickly and I will go to sleep too."

"Okay munchkin. Don’t wear yourself out. We have to wake up early tomorrow for breakfast."

"I won’t. Goodnight auntie."

"Goodnight Y/N/N." Emily immediately moved herself from her position on the loveseat as she was leaning over to take a small peak from the kitchen and eavesdrop as good as she could and pretended to casually read before Maggie could catch her. "Oh Miss Dickinson, still up?"

"Oh hey, Maggie. Yeah, I couldn’t sleep so I decided to read for a bit hoping sleep to find me."

"Ah, you should try the concoction my uncle used to make me when I couldn’t sleep. It was disgusting but it always made me sleep like a baby." Maggie delivered another one of her great and funny anecdotes to give her personal advice and Emily smiled kindly up at her as she caressed the pages of her book.

"One of these days you could make me some and we will see if it works for me too!"

"Alright. Goodnight Miss Dickinson."

"Goodnight Maggie." Emily smiled widely at the redhead before watching her walk up the stairs until she disappeared behind the wall. Emily stayed still for a few more seconds, listening for Maggie’s room’s door to close before immediately closing her book and sitting up, placed the book back in its designated place and almost sprinted into the kitchen, excited to finally spend some time alone with Y/N. She had been trying to do that for the whole evening, but she always had something to do with someone always in the way.

"Spying on people is wrong Miss Dickinson." Emily jumped up in fright as she had been caught staring from the threshold of the kitchen Y/N putting the plates they used during their dinner in the cabinet on top of the counter.

"Sorry, I was watching you work."

"Yeah, I noticed it." Emily smiled as her teeth sunk in her bottom lip at Y/N’s sarcastic counter back and walked into the kitchen, stopping right in front of Y/N, the kitchen’s wooden table separating them. The fire in the fireplace was still crackling softly in the silent room, bathing the room with an orange light that highlighted Y/N’s Y/E/C irises and almost made Emily faint at such ethereal beauty.

"Have you finished yet? You must be tired."

"I am, just a bit, but I am almost finished."

"Do you need some help?" Emily asked in hope Y/N would say yes, so she could prove to her she wasn’t the snotty rich girl that didn’t want to help in her house with chores. She didn’t exactly know why, but she just wanted to do it.

"No don’t worry. Aren’t you tired?"

"Not at all, I tend to have a lot of energy at night."

"Oh so you sleep during the day?"

"Not really. I am not a morning person, but I don’t oversleep."

"Oh I see." Emily detected a sarcastic lilt in Y/N’s tone and immediately wanted to prove to Y/N she wasn’t a lazy person.

"I swear I am not! Do you remember when we met a few days ago? It was around 7 a.m.! That was early in the morning!"

"Yeah, but I also remember that after that you forgot your buckets at the well." Y/N teased making Emily drop her jaw on the floor flabbergasted, making Y/N snort under her breath.

"I-I was distracted! I wanted to get them back but my mother prevented me to and did it herself."

"Yeah, I saw her." Y/N still had an amused grin on her lips but Emily could see the entertainment in her eyes that made Emily realize she was just messing with her and for a mysterious reason Emily wanted her to keep going, she wanted to be the subject of her teasing and entertainment just to see her smile.

"I tried to find you again at the well the next few days but I never did."

"Yeah, I was busy in the house helping Mr. Peterson with packing all his family’s stuff for their moving."

"Oh, yeah. That makes sense." Emily nodded in understanding before detaching her eyes from Y/N’s magnetic ones and focused instead on her wringing hands.

"Did you finish Dante’s Divina Commedia?"

"Yeah, last night actually. This morning I tried to find something new to start but nothing piqued my interest." Emily admitted after moving her gaze back on Y/N, who now placed the cloth she had previously in her hands neatly folded on the table.

"Ah I see. It happens to me all the time."

"Do you have some recommendations?"

"Hm, I need to think about it. I am a little bit tired and I can’t actually think about anything worth your while right now." Y/N chuckled after finishing speaking as she shyly made her way towards Emily, who stood a few feet from her.

"Oh then I won’t keep you away from sleeping."

"No, no. Don’t worry. I like talking to you but for now, as late as it is, I would like to keep our conversation as simple as possible."

"That’s fine by me."

"Do you want to stay here or-."

Emily didn’t let Y/N finish as she spoke up without thinking, blurting words out without any control, "we can go up to my room."

Y/N seemed taken aback for a few quick moments before a mischievous grin replaced the confused frown she had on, "oh I see where this is going."

"What-? OH! NO, NO, NO, NO! Y/N!" Emily exclaimed in shock before slapping Y/N’s shoulder gently, watching as she snickered under her breath at her joke.

"What?! It was a legit reaction from me!"

"I am not trying to seduce you!" But I would like to. Emily thought wistfully in her head as she tried to look as shocked as she felt a few seconds prior instead of looking like a kicked puppy yearning for cuddles.

"That’s not what your words sounded like Miss Dickinson."

"Ugh, you are unbelievable!"

"Let’s go now." Y/N shook her head with a small chuckle, making Emily’s heart clench at her cuteness.

"I-Okay. But it’s not done!"

"Whatever, now let’s go!"

"Okay, okay. Relax." The two made their way up the stairs as quietly as they could since everyone was already asleep and as soon as Emily closed the door behind herself, she felt butterflies fly around her stomach in excitement. She was with Y/N, in her bedroom, alone.

"Nice room." Y/N admitted as she took Emily’s bedroom in, walking around the small room to try to take in as much details about Emily as she could in the softly lit room.

"Thank you. You can sit on my bed, you are tired. I will take the chair."

"I can’t sit down Emily. I am your maid."

"I don’t care."

"I am serious Emily. It won’t be a problem-." Emily stopped Y/N mid-sentence by walking towards her and stopping right in front of her before placing her hands on her shoulders and pushing her gently backwards until the back of her knees touched her mattress, then she pushed her down and made her sit on the bed.

"There, it wasn’t so bad, was it?" Emily smirked proudly down at a shocked Y/N and following the bold thrill she had been hit on, she sat right beside Y/N and bumped their shoulders together.

"You are always so full of surprises Miss Dickinson." Y/N admitted and Emily called herself crazy because she saw Y/N blush slightly under the soft light coming from the fireplace. It must be her infatuated mind playing her games.

"It’s something you need to get used to from now on."

"Hm, I like it though."

"I’m glad to hear that." For a moment they just stood there, sat in silence in Emily’s room, gazing into each other’s eyes as small smiles adorned their features.

"I noticed all those small scraps of paper on your desk, what are those for?"

"Oh I write my poems on them. I am actually working on a poem right now."

"Are you serious?"

"Very." Emily nodded and smiled as she pushed her chest up proudly, "do you want to read a few things I’ve written?"

"Oh yeah! Absolutely!"

"Okay then." Emily sat up from her bed and walked towards her desk, opened the small drawer and grabbed a few poems she was sure Y/N would’ve liked, of course she didn’t grab the few ones she wrote about her.

"Wow, there are so many!"

"Yeah!" Emily smiled brightly like a kid on Christmas Day, just like every time she talked about her poems, and watching Y/N’s eyes fill with excitement warmed her heart.

"I can’t wait to read them!"

"Okay, which one do you want to start with?"

"I don’t know, you are the poet. You should tell me."

"I- I don’t actually know! Let me think- I want you to start with-." Emily trailed off to pick one out of the five ones she brought to Y/N as she sat back down on the bed, "this one, but then I also want you to read this one first." Emily pointed to another poem with her pointer finger as she held the previous poem she choose in her hand and smiled sheepishly at Y/N.

"Okay, let’s try with this. What is the poem you are the most proud of. Don’t think too much. Just point at it."

"Okay, hm- this one then."

"Alright." Y/N grabbed the poem Emily gave her and opened the small folded up paper, reading the words written in Emily’s elegant but a bit messy handwriting. The edges of the paper were a little bit dirty with ink but it only made the poem ten times better, full of raw emotions and vulnerability.

"What do you think?" Emily asked anxiously after a few minutes passed by and Y/N haven’t opened her mouth yet, her Y/E/C irises glued on the small piece of paper and her face completely blank, making reading her face a really difficult task for the poet.

"I-I-. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever read, Emily. It’s so raw, so real. It opened my mind to new possibilities, it made my eyes see the world from another point of view. It felt like I was in your mind and I could see the world how you see it."

"Do you think so?"

"Absolutely!" Emily felt tears prickle behind her eyes at Y/N’s words, something really rare despite how emotional Emily was about her poems. She was very proud of them and when people complimented them it only helps to boost her self-esteem but it never happened that just a few words made her almost cry. Y/N was really special.

"Thank you. Truly." Emily smiled appreciatively at Y/N as she tried with all her might to not cry in front of Y/N. "No one ever complimented my poems that way."

"Well people are dumb and stupid. You are an amazing writer and your poems will change lives." Emily smiled bittersweetly at that as she picked at a thumbnail nervously. Those words. She recalled them being said by Sue.

"Yeah, I already heard that. Someone already told me."

"And why do you not believe in them?"

"It’s not that I don’t believe in them." Emily started slowly, swallowing the small lump that immediately formed in her throat as her mind filled with memories of Sue, of all the great time she spent with her, of how much she cared for her. "It’s just that- the person that told me that doesn’t tell me those words anymore."

"Why? Did they change their minds?"

"No absolutely not. We just- grew apart I think. She has a new life now. I’m not a part of it anymore."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Y/N asked in a soft voice, leaning her head to the side, in a cute manner Emily noted, and looking at Emily with a gentle gaze as soon as she noticed the poet’s sad expression on her features.

"Not right now. I will, I trust you. I just- I don’t want to ruin the mood or like- annoy you."

"You won’t ever annoy me Emily Dickinson. You have such a way with words that you make listening to you alluring." Emily felt her eyes prickle slightly with unshed tears again as she listened to Y/N’s words and smiled appreciatively at her.

"I- I don’t know what to say. I-thank you."

"You don’t need to thank me Emily. I mean that. I hope you know I am sincere."

"I know, I can sense it from your voice and your eyes." Emily pointed her words out with her brown eyes as she glued them to Y/N’s Y/E/C irises, noticing Y/N swallowing almost imperceptibly at the bold gesture but decided to not comment on it.

"You know-." Y/N started after a few moments of them just staring into each other eyes, both feeling the air around them charge with an unknown electricity but not dwelling or thinking about it too much, but got cut off by a big yawn. She promptly covered her mouth with her hand before placing it back on her lap and smiling embarrassedly at Emily with a small blush on her cheeks, "sorry, I am a bit tired."

"Don’t apologize. I should be the one apologizing for keeping you up this late at night after the busy day you had. Not to mention the busy early day you will have tomorrow. Shit, I am so sorry." Emily grimaced after she realized she had been keeping Y/N from her well-needed sleep, but Y/N, the cute self she is, only shook her head gently.

"No, no, no, Emily. It’s fine. I wanted to spend some time with you too."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." Y/N smiled widely at Emily before starting to get up from her bed, "well, I should go to sleep now. I need to be up at 6 a.m. to start preparing breakfast."

"Do you need some help with that tomorrow morning?"

"Another one of these questions. Hm, are you sure you really needed a maid? You seem to want to do all these chores by yourself." Y/N questioned with a mocking tone as a small, entertained smirk appeared on her lips, mirth clear in her Y/E/C irises as they eyed Emily teasingly.

"I just-." Emily trailed off to ponder her options. She could easily lie about her real intentions behind her question or she could be bold for once and actually tell she just want to spend as much time as she could with Y/N to get to know her. She decided to be bold for once. She was tired not listening to her heart’s desires. "I like your company and I really want to spend more time with you."

"Oh Emily, we will spend more time together, I promise. My aunt Maggie established a few shifts between us. I have an early morning but I work till 6 p.m., then I’m done for the day. We can do something together after dinner like tonight." Y/N suggested as she idly played with her fingers, anticipation filling her whole body as she waited for Emily’s reaction to her suggestion.

"That would be great!" Emily exclaimed excitedly and had to really stop herself from jumping up and down in happiness at the prospect of spending more time with Y/N, just sticking on grinning widely at Y/N, who did the same.

"Okay then. Goodnight." Y/N nodded towards Emily and turned around to open the door, before turning her head back around to look at Emily once again, waiting her answer.

"Goodnight Y/N. Sleep well."

"You too."

Y/N opened the door completely and exited the room, smiled at Emily one more time before closing the door, sauntering into her room, across from her aunt’s one. As soon as the door closed, Emily sighed out dreamily and let herself fall on her mattress with a dopey smile on her lips, the soft thud filling the silence in the room. "Y/N." She whispered under her breath before closing her eyes and let her mind be filled with images of Y/N as she let sleep take over her.

-

"Good morning!" Emily exclaimed as soon as she entered the living room, her face illuminated by a big grin that lighted up the whole room, making her whole family, already seated at the table, look at her curiously.

"Someone is in a great mood today." Edward pointed out after he pushed his newspaper down and took a look at her daughter.

"I just slept good, that’s all."

"You are right on time honey, I was just telling your father that Austin and Sue will join us for dinner tonight again." Emily spit the sip of tea she was drinking at the news, not noticing the small snort that left Y/N’s mouth as she served the poet her breakfast, luckily only Emily heard that.

"What?"

"Isn’t it amazing? It’s been too long since they had been here with us. They are so busy with their sophisticated parties these days. It’s a rare occasion having them joining us for two nights in a row."

"Parties I am paying." Edward pointed out making Emily grunt in acknowledgement. She was avoiding Sue at all costs and she was glad the night prior they were all busy chatting, it made avoiding Sue easier.

"Parties we are not invited to. Em you are Sue’s best friend, why don’t you ask her to invite us?" Lavinia lamented with a whining tone, pushing gently on her sister’s shoulder but then crossing her arms stubbornly when Emily just gently shook her head.

"She has new friends now. She is not interested in hanging out with us anymore." Y/N couldn’t help but notice the bittersweet tone Emily used as she addressed her sister’s question and the sad expression that flitted over her features for just over a second before it got covered by a calculated blank expression, but she couldn’t dwell on it too much as she kept serving breakfast to the Dickinson family, so she made a mental note to ask Emily about it that night.

"Speaking of friends, Emily!" Emily’s mother caught the poet’s attention and continued only when she met her eyes, "I met George this morning at the grocery store. He is such a nice guy."

"I know where this is going mom. I’m not going to marry him. He is a great friend. That’s all." Y/N missed Emily’s mother counter back and she didn’t hear the rest of the conversation going between Emily and her mother as she returned to the kitchen to tidy up the kitchen a bit before starting up lunch, not having the time to notice her stomach jumping up in happiness at Emily refusing to marry her friend.

-

"Are you sure? I can help you with all this mess."

"Oh don’t worry Y/N/N, go get some rest. You had a very stressful day. It’s my turn now." Maggie assured her niece, waving her off as she tidied up the kitchen after the Dickinson’s dinner. "No, don’t try to convince me. Go!"

"Thank you. Goodnight."

"G’night."

Y/N exited the kitchen to go up the stairs and to her room, but unfortunately she had to pass by the living room where the Dickinson family was still chatting after their dinner. Y/N sighed out of relief when no one seemed to notice her presence and kept minding their business and continued her quiet way up the stairs, a little bit sad that she probably won’t spend some time with Emily like they planned. Despite good mood being slightly dampened by hers and Emily’s plans ruined, when she arrived at her door she sighed out wistfully at the mere thought of finally getting rid of her devilish corset and lay on bed, but before she could open the door a hand touched her shoulder and squealed in fright. "Shit- Emily!"

"Sorry, sorry! I thought you heard me." Emily reasoned with an apologetic grimace, warming Y/N’s heart at the cute sight when she turned around and was met with puppy dog eyes.

"No, I was just thinking about getting rid of my corset."

"Oh I know the feeling. Looking forward on breathing normally again, hm?" Emily joked, making Y/N snort softly as she nodded in agreement with the poet.

"You have no idea."

"I have actually, because I need to get rid of my corset too. I can’t stand having it on me for one more second. Do you mind if I change in my night gown and then we can hang out?"

Y/N looked a bit taken aback from the question, not really expecting it from the brunette, "don’t you have your entire family downstairs?"

"Yeah, but they will be fine. I spent enough quality time with them, now it’s time to spend some quality time with you." Emily admitted with the slightest rosy tint on her cheeks and for once she was grateful for the lightly lit hallway so she can hide it from Y/N, who didn’t seem to notice Emily’s shy behavior.

"You make me feel too special Emily. Choosing me over your family, wow- that’s flattering." Y/N felt the need to half joke with her hand on her heart as she tried to not show how much touched she was by Emily’s words, since she only met the poet a few days prior and she was her maid.

"Get used to it! Now let’s go, I’ll help you with your corset then you’ll help me with mine."

"Hm, so eager to see me naked. Are you trying to seduce me Miss Dickinson?" Emily felt her face heat up in a millisecond at the question, not sure this time she could hide it from Y/N, her heart skipping a beat before starting beating fast in her chest as her mind filled with completely not innocent images of a naked Y/N on h-. "Emily? Are you okay?"

"Oh- I- I was-wasn’t. I was just trying to help, y’know since corsets are so difficult to take off. I always ask Lavinia to help me because I can’t reach the strings behind me, but she is busy right now so sh-."

"Emily, it’s okay. I was kidding, relax." Y/N giggled softly under her breath and bumped her left shoulder with Emily’s one to help the girl calm down, effectively stopping her ramblings.

"Oh I- I knew that." Emily laughed awkwardly for a few moments before clearing her throat, "should we, I don’t know go in your room or-?"

"Oh yes, let’s go, so I can help you undress." The last part of Y/N’s phrase sent Emily’s brain out of control as it replayed those words over and over again and each time it only helped melting her brain into mush as far from innocent images filed in.

"O-okay, let’s go." Y/N nodded and opened her bedroom door, letting Emily in first then following her, closing the door a moment later to have some privacy.

"How was dinner?" Y/N asked as she tried to look as nonchalant as she could despite having a really pretty girl in her bedroom about to undress her. Okay that totally sounded really dirty and out of context it could sound like what it actually sounded like, but we all know the truth, right?

"It was good. I liked your special bread recipe, you need to teach me how to make it."

"Oh yeah, it’s actually aunt Maggie’s recipe, but I added a little bit of raisins to enhance its flavor."

"They definitely do their work because it was the best bread I’ve ever tasted. Do not tell my mother that." Emily was quick to whisper the last part with the hand on the left side of her mouth, making Y/N laugh heartily at her goofiness.

"Noted." Y/N nodded as she still smiled widely at Emily, before starting playing with her fingers nervously. "Hm-."

"What?"

"I- I really can’t resist another second in this. Can you please-?" Y/N trailed off, letting the half-finished question hang in the electrified air between them as she stared at everything around the room but at Emily’s magnetic brown irises, moving her hands to signal behind her back to hint at Emily she needed to take off her corset.

"Wha- OH! Your corset. Of course. Yeah. Yeah." Emily nodded as she stumbled over her words, grimacing inwardly at her awkwardness. "Hm- turn around please. I’ll help you out."

"Oh yeah, thank you." Y/N held her breath as she turned around and almost gasped out loud when a pair of slightly cold hands touched the skin of her back.

"Sorry, my hands are a bit cold."

"Don’t worry." Y/N let out in a breath as she tried to calm herself down and not look like she was actually melting under Emily’s touch. After a few moments, Emily succeeded in loosening the strands of Y/N’s corset and the girl visibly relaxed, "letting your corset loose is like- the best feeling ever, right?"

"Yeah, every night I feel like my soul comes back in my body."

"Yeah, they should be banned. Why women need to suffer this much while men wear the comfiest clothes ever created?"

Emily listened to Y/N talking as she focused on her fingers unfastening Y/N’s corset, "that’s what I’m always thinking about. I tried pants once, it was a breakthrough. Never had on something so comfy in my life. Even my night gown isn’t that comfortable."

"Wait- you had the privilege to try pants on?"

"Yeah! Of course my parents don’t know that, but yeah."

"Wow, I always imagined trying them! How do they feel?"

"Amazing! And I even tried a blouse with a vest. No corset on. Even better than having pants on." Emily admitted and watched delighted Y/N’s face illuminate like a Christmas three, full of curiosity and wonder.

"Wow, that sounds amazing." Emily focused on untying the last strand of Y/N’s corset with shaky hands even if she tried to stop her body from shaking with her nerves, the mere thought Y/N was a few beats away from being naked short-circuited her brain. "I always wanted to try men’s clothes on."

"When do you have the whole afternoon free?" Emily asked with excitement shining brightly in her eyes, almost jumping up and down in her spot in anticipation as an idea popped in her mind.

"Thursday. I start at 18 Friday afternoon then."

"Alright, I really hoped it was Thursday afternoon. My parents and Lavinia are going to some kinda spa thing my aunt Lavinia organized, I’m not going because I’m not in the mood to go, even if my mom and Lavinia have been trying to convince me for days. But now that I know we can have almost 24 hours together I’m definitely not going."

"Wait- hold on, are you serious?"

"Yeah, I can even convince them to bring Maggie with them or let her have a few days off. I think they will be back Friday night or maybe Saturday morning, I need to ask them."

"Wow, I don’t know what to say!"

"Well, my dear Y/N get ready for these days all by ourselves." Emily announced excitedly, finding the same amount of excitement she had in her eyes into Y/N’s Y/E/C irises, warming her heart to no end. She was afraid she could come off as too eager to spend some alone time with Y/N, but the Y/H/C girl didn’t seem to mind or she didn’t pay attention to it and it reassured Emily.

"I can’t wait." Y/N exclaimed excitedly before shivering slightly as cold air hit her hot skin, "I should put something on quickly."

"Oh yeah, it’s freezing!"

The two girls stayed looking at each other for a few more seconds before Y/N moved her gaze away to find something to put on, Emily quickly turning around as her cheeks warmed up and her heart beat loudly in her ears. "Okay, we can go now."

"Oh thank God, I seriously need to get rid of this corset as well."

"We better hurry up then." Y/N snickered at Emily’s whiny tone, ushering her out her room.

"Have you ever thought-." Emily stopped in her tracks when, after looking at Y/N for a moment on her way out Y/N’s room, she turned back around to look where she was going to not trip over something and she was met with a pair of familiar eyes.

"Emily."

"Sue." Y/N exited the room right behind Emily and stopped in her tracks too when she was met with Sue’s confused and also a little bit… jealous? - Y/N couldn’t tell - eyes, but she sure she could feel a little bit of electricity palpable in the air, especially when Sue detached her eyes from her and stared Emily down with an hard gaze, silence filling the small hallway for a few long moments.

"I- I hoped we could talk a bit. It’s been a while."

"Oh- can we do it tomorrow? I am a bit tired."

"Oh- oh y-yeah, s-sure. How is it going with your poems?" Sue asked with a bit of a shaky voice, her eyes full of a nostalgic glint that intrigued Y/N to no end.

"It’s going just fine. They are my safe place where I can hide when I need to be away from the world."

"Yeah, I remember. They were the most powerful way for your heart and mind to speak out loud. I miss them." Sue admitted with a nostalgic tilt in her tone that kept fueling Y/N’s curiosity about the strange dynamic that Emily and Sue shared.

"Well you decided you didn’t want them anymore. So it’s a bit hypocritical missing them, don’t you think?"

"I- I- uh, that’s why I wanted to talk to you." Sue started with her voice full of anxiety and anticipation, "it’s been too long and I-."

"You were pretty clear the last time we spoke to each other. If you want to tell me about your amazing parties and your new friends, fine. But if you want to say anything else, you don’t need to worry. There is nothing else to say."

"I-." Sue sighed out loud while her shoulders lost their tension and slumped back in their position, "I guess you are right. I have no right to want to make amends after what I did and said. I just miss my best friend."

"What? Aren’t your new friends enough? This explains your need to always want more."

"I guess I deserved that." Sue hung her head down a few beats before meeting Emily’s eyes again, "I didn’t want this. Us fighting."

"I didn’t want this too. I- listen, we will talk. Tomorrow. Okay?"

"Thank you." Sue went to hug Emily but she stopped in her tracks when she stepped back and shook her head a bit.

"Right. I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

"Have a good night Mrs. Dickinson." Y/N chimed in for the first time since they bumped into Sue and smiled politely at the girl who looked her up and down before smiling politely too and nodding back.

"Have a good night too-."

"Y/N." Y/N finished for Sue, who trailed off waiting for the Y/E/C girl to help her out.

"Y/N." Sue repeated before turning around and going down the stairs where chatter was still going animatedly. Y/N watched the brunette’s back a few seconds as her mind replayed everything that went through in the last couple of minutes before focusing her attention back on Emily, finding her already looking at her, making her heart skip a beat.

"Hey." Y/N started with a soft voice, her smile widening when Emily grinned gently at her.

"Hey. Sorry you had to witness that." Emily apologized as she opened her bedroom door and lead them in her bedroom.

"That’s fine. Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Emily sighed out loud and nodded gently at the Y/H/C girl while closing her bedroom door. She stared a few seconds at Y/N before turning around, "can you help me?"

"Yeah sure." Y/N’s voice was a slightly bit hoarse as she walked on shaky legs towards the poet, who was standing in the middle of her bedroom, but she paid her no mind as her brain played the conversation she had with Sue a few minutes prior.

"I can’t believe she told me those things. She had no right to tell me those things!"

"I’m sorry Emily but I don’t know what you’re talking about."

"You’re right. I will tell you after getting out of this damned corset."

"I feel you." Y/N snorted as she started unfastening the knots on Emily’s corset to help her out of it faster, the poet already sighing out happily.

"Oh yes. This is wonderful." Emily moaned out in delight as soon as she felt the corset starting to loose around her upper body, creating a tingling sensation all over Y/N’s body at the unexpected sound, but she kept going instead of fainting embarrassingly behind Emily.

"Yeah, I feel you."

"I hope one day we can get rid of these things. They are awful." Emily admitted and watched as Y/N nodded in agreement when she turned her head around slightly to Y/N behind her still working on unfastening her corset’s straps.

"Yeah. It will take a lot but I’m sure they won’t be used anymore."

"We would wear something similar, maybe something that doesn’t feel so tight and that doesn’t need help to take it off."

"Oh wow, that would be wonderful. I still struggle trying to take it off myself." Y/N snorted under her breath as she shook her head.

"Wait, do you really take it off yourself?"

"Well yeah, most of the times I ask my aunt Maggie to help me, but a few times I had to do it myself when she is still busy or not around in that moment."

"Wow." Emily exclaimed, but furrowed her eyebrows when she heard Y/N chuckle under her breath, "why are you laughing?"

"Because I remembered I once struggled so much in taking my corset off that I didn’t see the bed and fell down on it and then on the floor." Y/N explained, giggling after finishing with Emily doing the same as she imagined the hilarious scene, "here you go. I’m done. You’re free from your corset."

"Oh yes! Thank you!" Emily moved without properly thinking and pushed the top of her dress and her corset down to her hip as she turned around, exposing her upper body to Y/N, who widened comically her eyes as they inevitably fell on Emily’s exposed chest. "Oh my God!"

"Oh- sorry, sorry!" Y/N immediately turned herself around and covered her eyes as a deep, burgundy blush fell on her cheeks. "Sorry for looking I- hm." Y/N cleared her throat and tried to find the right words that would not make this situation even more embarrassing but her brain seemed to be stuck in a spiral of images of Emily’s round and full breasts and was incapable of forming coherent thoughts, so she decided to just shut up.

"No, no. Don’t apologize. I should be sorry for- flashing my tits in your face." Emily turned around too, making now both of their backs face each other, and touched her cheeks to try in vain to subdue her scorching blush, while frantically searching her night gown to put on.

Y/N snorted imperceptibly under he breath and let the next, murmured words slip out of her mouth without her consent, "I should thank you instead."

It was almost imperceptible, but Emily caught it since the wired silence surrounding them was almost deafening and it made her stop in her tracks as she opened her drawer. She couldn’t have heard right, could she? Do those words mean Y/N felt something for her too? Or maybe that she was at least attracted to her? She needed answers. "I’m sorry again. I wasn’t thinking."

"Don’t worry. I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable."

"Are you serious? I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable." Emily countered back as she carefully took her dress and corset down her body, then putting her night gown on, purposefully choosing one that has a slight see-through fabric around her chest area. This way she could know if Y/N was interested in her in that way or not. If her eyes struggled to not stay focused on her chest, maybe she had a chance with her. "You can turn around."

"So, what happened with-." Y/N did as Emily told her but stopped mid-sentence when Emily turned around and she almost flashed her breasts to her again. The top half of Emily’s dress’ fabric was see-through, that much so that Y/N could see Emily’s erect nipples, but she wasn’t sure they were erect from the cold of the room despite the fire crackling on the right side of the room or from something else. Y/N immediately noticed her slip up and her ogling and forced her eyes to look at a portray on Emily’s wall, beside her head, instead as she cleared her throat, forcing herself to not stare at Emily’s visible chest again, "hm- with Sue?"

"Oh yeah, right, hm. Can I trust you?"

"Emily of course. I promise your secrets are safe with me."

"No, I know it. It’s just- nobody knows about this but- we had a thing going on." Emily admitted quickly, not exactly knowing how to put into words what she wanted to say, extremely afraid to watch Y/N’s facial expression at her revelation, so as soon as she finished talking, she focused her eyes on the fire crackling on her left and played around with her fingers.

"Oh wow."

"Yeah."

"Did you love her?" Y/N asked after a few beats of silence, completely taking Emily off guard.

"Wow, I wasn’t expecting this question."

"Sorry, it was too personal. You don’t have to answer me."

"No, I didn’t mean it like that. I-hm, I was expecting you- well I don’t know what I was expecting. Maybe you asking about our arrangement. Or maybe not reacting this well about this- new information about me."

"Oh yeah, I got it. You don’t have to worry about that. Like ever. I- I know what it feels like to like- love a woman."

Emily had to rectify her previous statement. That took her off guard. "Really?"

"I realized it when I was 15. I started working with my aunt Maggie in a beautiful house. Their owners were a wonderful family. Always so polite, never getting angry, very sweet with me since I was a kid but also with my aunt Maggie. They were treating us like we were part of their family. But Molly. Molly was the sweetest of them. Not to mention beautiful. We were close since we were the same age. But- hm- you were lucky enough to have some kind of something with the person I presume you loved. I wasn’t that lucky. I had to endure watching her loving someone else. For the entirety of my time as a maid in their house."

"I’m so sorry Y/N." Emily butted in as soon as Y/N, after turning around towards the fireplace, trailed off to stare blankly at the fire, too caught up in her thoughts to notice Emily approaching her slowly.

"Don’t be. It happens. Especially in the world we live in. Where people like us has to hide."

"I hope one day we don’t have to." Emily admitted a little bit wistfully, her heart aching for the pain she can clearly see in Y/N’s Y/E/C eyes when she finally looked into her brown ones. She had been lucky enough to at least act on her feelings somehow. Y/N hasn’t been that lucky.

"I hope that too." Y/N smiled gently at Emily, their eyes meeting a few seconds before Y/N’s Y/E/C one’s focused on the fireplace again.

"Did you tell her how you felt?"

"Oh God, no. Are you crazy? She would’ve ruined my life, my reputation, I could have lost my job."

"Yeah, but you broke your heart that way."

"Yeah. It will heal, eventually." Y/N shrugged like it was nothing, "it’s already healing."

"How long has it been since it happened?" Emily asked a little bit sadly, her eyes conveying as much compassion and sympathy she could to try to make Y/N feel a little bit better. Little did she know she was already making her feel better by healing her broken heart.

"About two years."

"Wow." Emily exclaimed as her brain wrapped itself around this new piece of information. She didn’t know what to say to Y/N to help her make her feel better, she had been broken hearted by Sue, but they at least had some kind of relationship.

"Woman full of words I must say. It must be easy being a poet."

Y/N’s joke made Emily snort under her breath, a gesture that she hoped distracted Y/N enough to not make her see the blush she triggered with her words. "Shut up. I was just shocked." Emily pushed on Y/N’s left shoulder when she snickered under her breath and pretended to be offended.

"Oh no, don’t be mad. I was joking. Well- not completely but- HEY! Don’t hit me with your pillow."

"Or what?" Emily smirked widely when, without Y/N noticing, grabbed the pillow laying on the chair beside her and lifted it up to hit the Y/H/C girl, but before Y/N could form any sort of warning, she got blocked by Emily swinging the pillow forward and hitting her on the face.

"Ok, you asked for it." Y/N stopped another hit with her right arm while she fumbled behind her to grab a pillow on Emily’s bed and as soon as her hand wrapped itself around the soft pillow she flung it around and hit Emily right on the face, stopping her movements altogether as she stared with a shocked but amused expression on her face at Y/N.

"You. Didn’t."

"Oh I did. I can do it again if you want."

"Don’t you dare! No! Y/N!" But it was too late. As soon as Emily finished threatening Y/N, a pillow hit her face and made her stumble a bit, but she regained her balance quickly and flung her pillow at Y/N, hitting her on her arm.

"Alright, alright. Truce." Y/N placed the pillow back on the bed and waited with an entertained smirk on her lips for Emily as she mirrored her gesture and placed the pillow onto Y/N’s one on the mattress.

"Anyway, before someone interrupted me, I was gonna say I am sorry for what you went through."

"It’s in the past now. I’m finally healing. I’m finally moving on." Y/N admitted, a slight rosy pink tinting her cheeks, something that didn’t go unnoticed from Emily but the poet decided to not ask anything about it, for now.

"I'm so happy to hear that."

"Yeah. It’s not that easy, but I will be fine. Hopefully soon." Y/N admitted with a shy smile, a gesture that Emily mirrored as she nodded in understanding.

"Good, you deserve to be happy."

"Yeah, you too. Speaking of which, how about you?"

"What about me?"

"You two had a thing going on. It must be painful calling everything off."

"It’s actually going good. I missed her a lot since we stopped our thing, but it got better in the end."

"I’m glad to hear that." Y/N smiled widely at Emily and nodded, igniting a fire within Emily that she thought it was extinguished when her thing with Sue was over.

"I- hm." Emily trailed off to ponder her next words carefully, not completely sure she wanted to admit out loud and to Y/N what she wanted to say. After a few beats of silence she made up her mind and decided she wanted to be brave, she wanted to take a shot and discover if Y/N actually liked her more than a friend. "I met someone. I- she made me feel things I thought I only felt with and for Sue."

"Oh." Y/N cleared her throat, successfully getting rid of the jealous lump it formed in her throat at Emily’s admission, but as hard as she tried no other words left her mouth.

"Yeah."

"How is- she?" Y/N stuttered, cursing herself for being so obvious about her jealousy, but it seemed Emily paid no mind to it.

"Perfect. Extremely funny, always so polite and sweet." Emily gushed uncontrollably, her eyes shining brightly with all the affection she felt for the other girl, "oh and she has a great mind too, full of ideas that fascinates me. We have a lot of hobbies in common. She is perfect."

"Wow, from what I’ve heard from your description she might be. Is she pretty?"

"No. She is beautiful."

"Already so smitten for her, hm?" Y/N teased with an arched eyebrow and a small grin to try to divert Emily’s attention on her to prevent the poet to detect her jealousy.

"How could I not? She is perfect. I think- I never felt something so hard for someone. Not even Sue."

"Does-hm-." Y/N cleared her throat when her voice wavered a bit, "does she feel the same?"

"I don’t know, but I’m trying to figure it out." Emily admitted a little bit cryptically, noticing every little reaction coming from Y/N to at least detect any kind of sign from her and if her instinct was right, she was jealous, so she maybe felt the same.

"Have you told her?"

"No. I’m a little bit insecure about it. She could feel the same but- what if she doesn’t?"

"Yeah, I know what you’re feeling. I felt the same way with Molly. I spent a year beating myself up for not telling her. Maybe we could have worked out in some way or maybe definitely not. I spent a year living on ‘what ifs’. But I have to be honest, now that I’ve moved on I think it was better that way. I don’t think she was the one for me."

"So you’re saying I shouldn’t tell her?" Emily smiled slightly at the girl rambling her thoughts out, finding all of that an extremely adorable sight witness and it became ten times cuter when Y/N blushed at her stare before shaking her head softly.

"No, what I’m trying to say is-." Y/N trailed of to take a deep breath as she stared intently into Emily’s brown eyes, "do whatever your heart craves. I’ve thought a lot about it and with a clear head I realized I was just deeply infatuated with Molly. I wasn’t actually in love with her. If it was true love I wouldn’t have moved on. So if you feel like she is the one, like you need to tell her because you truly want her, then do it. Don’t think too much about it." Emily looked at Y/N like a lovesick puppy as she talked, flaring up the fire she felt burning for Y/N, so with a made up mind and without properly thinking, as soon as Y/N finished speaking Emily surged forward and planted a soft kiss on her lips, lingering only a few seconds before pulling away abruptly, fearing Y/N’s reaction when she felt the girl completely frozen in her spot.

"I- shit- I’m so sorry- hmph." Emily got stopped abruptly when a pair of soft lips unexpectedly pressed themselves hard on her own, making her head spin out of control with a plethora of emotions she only felt when she wrote her poems. Emily felt her brain completely shutting off as she completely dived into the blissful sensation of Y/N’s mouth on hers. Their lips danced sensually over the rhythm their heartbeats set, their bodies burned from the passion the two girls shared but had to suppress for their own fears of losing the other if their feelings weren’t reciprocated, their minds were a delicious mess as their senses were completely filled with the other’s taste, perfume, essence. It was a perfect mix that both of them wished it could never end.

But Y/N had to reluctantly slow their kiss down and pull slightly away from Emily to take some needed breath as her lungs screamed for some air and she was pretty sure Emily felt if her heaving chest was anything to go by. "Do not apologize for that. Because it was so perfect."

"I was just panicking. I thought I read your signals wrong and I went too far."

"It was extremely impossible to read them wrong since I’ve been trying to not stare at your boobs for the past 20 minutes and I’ve been failing miserably." Emily snorted at Y/N’s admission, feeling a sense of pride swell in her chest as well as a familiar burning sensation in her lower stomach lighting her whole body up at Y/N’s admission.

"I think now is the right time to confess I chose this night gown on purpose." Y/N swallowed loudly when Emily winked seductively at her while puffing her chest up, giving Y/N the intoxicating view of her half exposed breasts.

"You like to torture me." Y/N murmured under her breath as her eyes never moved away from Emily’s chest, watching it move up and down with every breath the poet took and feeling her insides melt each time a nipple came in sight through the see-through fabric of Emily’s night gown.

"Why?"

"Because I can’t touch them."

"Who said you can’t?"

"Yo- wait, what?" Instead of answering verbally Emily smirked mischievously, grabbed Y/N’s wrist and pulled her hand towards herself. Just when it was hovering inches from her covered chest, she lifted her right eyebrow and silently asked Y/N if it was okay for her and smiled widely when the girl instantly nodded enthusiastically. The Y/H/C girl’s grin dropped as soon as her hand came in contact with Emily’s right breast and let out a small moan without noticing, making the poet groan at the unexpected attractive sound.

"Oh, Y/N." Emily whined and gripped Y/N’s wrist a bit more strongly when the girl squeezed her breast tentatively, but just right to light up her whole body with need.

"Come here." Y/N snaked her other hand behind Emily’s neck and pushed her harshly onto her lips to share a bruising kiss, reigniting the fire they set up a few moments prior. Y/N promptly swallowed another sound coming from Emily as she changed the angle of their kiss, full of passion but still chaste. But Emily needed more. She wanted to taste Y/N’s mouth fully. Just when Emily was debating with her mind to try to find the courage to deepen the kiss, Y/N beat her to it as her tongue licked the seam of Emily’s lips to ask for entrance. The poet granted it a few beats later with another small whine and her body got completely wrecked by a shiver running down her spine when their tongues met just as Y/N’s thumb and pointer finger found her nipple and pinched it gently but firmly.

"Oh fuck." They let their desire take over for a few minutes, giving their tongues time to explore the other’s mouth, licking every nook and cranny of each other’s mouth and swallowing every small sound they could pull from the other. As they kissed fervently, Emily’s other hand, until now placed meekly on her lap, sneaked into Y/N’s hair, after freeing them from the bun she had on all day and pulled on the Y/E/C girl’s scalp each time Y/N found a new way to stimulate her nipple or when her tongue moved just right. Their small moment was abruptly interrupted when they heard Emily’s family wishing each other a goodnight and they had to reluctantly pull away from each other, but not before sharing a few small, sweet pecks.

"I should go."

"No please, stay." Emily begged, leaning their foreheads together and sighing disapprovingly when Y/N removed her hand from her chest, only to smile widely when she grabbed Emily’s hand and intertwined their fingers together.

"I can’t. Your family is going to be upstairs any minute. We can’t get caught."

"You’re right." Emily sighed and nodded gently. Y/N had a point. "With Sue it was easier. My parents always let her sleep with me."

"Already talking about your ex with me Dickinson? Are you trying to make me jealous?" Y/N teased with a wide grin that widened when Emily blushed softly and pushed her gently on her shoulder.

"No, you jerk. I just wished it was that easier with you too. We wouldn’t have to stop this." Emily murmured seductively before leaning slowly towards Y/N and capturing Y/N’s lips in a slow but sensual kiss, making it last just a few seconds to tease Y/N and smirking widely when she accomplished her mission after hearing Y/N grunt in disapproval at her pulling away from the kiss and trying to follow her lips to kiss her again. "But you have a point. You sadly need to go. When do you have some time off tomorrow?"

"Around 11 a.m."

"Perfect, meet me here. I will tell my mom I need some help with my surprisingly ripped dress." Emily winked as she stressed the word ‘surprisingly’ and felt her heart swell at the sound of Y/N’s cute giggle.

"Alright. Goodnight Emily. Sleep well." They shared another kiss full of passion before Y/N quickly slipped out of Emily’s room, just a minute before Emily’s parents walked up the stairs to go into their room, followed right after by Lavinia.

Both girls had some troubles falling asleep that night as adrenaline still pushed through their bodies still burning with their passion, but after about an hour both girls fell asleep with wide grins on their lips, excited for the next day.

-

"Good morning my dear family!" Emily entered the living room with a brighter-than-the-sun smile, making the whole family stare at her weirdly.

"Should we get used to her being in a good mood every morning?" Edward asked his wife as both looked at Emily weirdly, eyebrows furrowed and confused expression on their faces.

"I like it." Lavinia interjected and giggled loudly when Emily run towards her and hugged tightly her over the chair. After a couple of seconds she walked to her chair and sat down, immediately stuffing her face with the delicious breakfast she had in front of her on the table.

"Hm, Maggie this breakfast is amazing!" Emily murmured with her mouth full of chocolate cake, rolling her eyes back in pure ecstasy as all the flavors hit her taste buds, completely ignoring her mother’s reprimand stare.

"Thank you Miss Dickinson, but I didn’t make it. Y/N did."

"Oh really? Where did you take the recipe?" Emily’s mother spoke up in disbelief as she too took a bite of her cake and widened her eyes comically at the tasty cake.

"It’s actually mine. It’s not that difficult to make. The secret is chocolate."

"Ugh, Y/N you need to teach me how to do this." Emily requested as casually as she could, this time waiting to swallow the cake and swiping the chocolate away from her mouth before talking, to not rise her family’s suspicions of her asking Y/N to teach her how to make a cake since she always refused to help her mom in the kitchen. "It’s delicious."

"Oh please Y/N if you succeed in making Emily do anything in the kitchen I will give you a week off." Emily turned her head towards her mother and stuck her tongue out, making her mother laugh at her in amusement.

"It would be a pleasure Miss Dickinson."

-

"Miss Dickinson?" Emily asked in a mocking tone, trying to make her best impression of Y/N, on Y/N’s lips after pulling away from the bruising kiss the two shared after Emily literally flung herself into Y/N’s arms as soon as they entered her bedroom, slamming her on the door.

"I can’t call you with your first name Emily, even if you asked me to."

"I know, but it was hilarious hearing you calling me by my last name. It’s weird."

"No, weird is being in a room with your parents when all my brain could think of was how good it felt kissing you." Y/N admitted with her eyes glued on Emily’s plump lips, biting down on her own bottom lip then to emphasize her appreciation of Emily’s lips.

"Not as good as feeling your hands on me." Emily countered back, purposefully arching her back to flush their chests together but whining in frustration when their corsets and dresses prevented them to feel anything.

"Yeah, it’s pretty much a tie." Y/N joked and thanked the door behind her back holding her up when Emily giggled on her mouth and the cute sound made her almost faint. "You are so beautiful." Y/N spoke up without even noticing as she stared at the poet with a loving gaze, creating goosebumps all over Emily’s skin.

"Not as much as you Y/N. That’s the first thing I thought that day at the well. I’ve always been fascinated by the beauty of the nature, but as soon as my eyes landed on you, it was like threes and flowers never existed. It was just you."

"Shit, do not say things like that." Y/N shook her head as she bit hard on her bottom lip while closing her eyes and leaning her forehead on Emily’s one.

"Why?"

"Because it makes me want to kiss you."

"Then why are you not doing it?" It was all the validation Y/N needed. After opening her eyes for a brief moment to meet Emily’s brown irises for confirmation, finding in them only affection and entertainment, she surged forward and captured Emily’s lips in a slow kiss, full of passion. Y/N decided to keep the kiss as chaste as possible to savor the softness of Emily’s lips, caressing her back with both hands to feel Emily’s every curve she could despite the dress and corset in her way, but when Emily’s fingers dug in the back of her neck to silently ask for more, Y/N whined softly into the kiss and immediately bit down gently on Emily’s lips. Y/N shivered at the poet’s whispered whine but took advantage of that to slip her tongue into Emily’s mouth and lick every angle she could reach. "Oh."

"Shit." Y/N murmured into the kiss when her mind finally stopped spinning from Emily’s moan and shivered wildly when the poet took advantage of Y/N’s dazed state to suck harshly on Y/N’s tongue, pulling a whine from her throat. After a few moments Emily had to pull away to take some needed breath, not too far away, just enough so their noses could brush together gently. "That was so fucking hot. And fuck- that sound." Emily giggled at Y/N’s murmured words, her eyes staring lovingly at the her and a dopey smile adorned her kiss-swollen lips, and she thought about how happy she felt in that moment.

"Ugh, I wish you could stay here all day." Emily admitted out loud after a few seconds of them basking in the comforting silence, the two girls just existing together, wrapped up in each other’s arms, with their forehead leaned together and with their breaths mingling, sighing out sadly and leaning into Y/N touch when she caressed her back comfortingly.

"I know, but your mother and sister will be back with my aunt soon." Y/N sighed out sadly, caressing Emily’s sides gently as she committed to mind every small detail she could.

"Yeah and Sue will be over in an hour. We still need to talk."

"She just wants her best friend back, Emily. Give her a chance to be a good friend. You two were friends before having what you two had."

"You’re right. I want to talk to her too. I want my friend back, but I just- want to spend more time with you."

"You will, tonight." Y/N nodded encouragingly and smiled widely to hope to make Emily do the same and when she did a few seconds later her own grin widened ten sizes.

"Do not forget we have the house all for ourselves on Thursday."

"Already trying to get under my dress Dickinson?"

"Maybe." Emily winked with a mischievous grin, making Y/N laugh heartily before kissing her gently and slipping out of her room.

[crazyoffher]

FEELS LIKE FOREVER.

billie eilish x fem!reader

summary: despite accompanying billie on her world tour, you didn't see her much, and it's up to you to express your concern about her overworking.

warnings: mentions of overworking, fluff, unedited.

word count: 1100+

a/n: anon, your request wasn't very specific so if this isn't what you had in mind, i'm very sorry. thank you for sending in a request, though, and i hope you enjoy 🫶 (also by "gf" i interpreted girlfriend so please lmk if you meant something else)

The tour was hard on Billie. She loved it to death, but sometimes she wished that she had longer periods to rest. She was glad to have you around this time, traveling around the world with her and watching every single show she performed, and at the end of the night, you’d be right by her side as the two of you fell into content slumbers.

She didn’t wish for just more time for relaxation and to continue working on her next album, but to also spend time with you. She felt bad that, though you were with her, you weren’t at the same time, sometimes not seeing her for hours at a time despite being in the same buildings. Billie wanted nothing more than to have a lazy day with you, caught up in the tour bus with no calls regarding the album, performances, or anything else.

“Billie, stop that.” Maggie argued, scolding the girl who was using her microphone to act as if she had a dick, flinging it around, which made you laugh. You were watching Billie and Finneas run through the fundamentals during a sound rehearsal while sitting off to the side in a chair that the crew had set up for you and Billie’s parents in GA, Maggie and Patrick to your right.

Billie tore the microphone away from it’s position with a frown, ready to reply to her mother, when her manager, Danny, called her and Finneas over to go through the setlist. That left Maggie and Patrick to talk about anything while you scrolled through Twitter, liking the posts that talked about you and Billie positively and skipping the ones that were in a negative light.

“(Y/N)?” You turned your head at the sound of your name, meeting Maggie’s gaze as she smiled warmly at you. “How's it been for you this past tour?”

You thought about it for a second, letting out a small cough before replying, “Boring at times, fun at times. I find myself alone in the tour bus a lot, just thinking, you know?”

You loved the older woman to death. The O’Connell family itself had been there for you when your own family couldn’t, and no amount of money or love could ever repay them in your mind. “That’s fair; I expected you and Billie to be together a lot more, but she’s been spending a lot of her free time on the album. I tell her to take a break, but she just nods before putting her headphones back on and continues.”

You nodded, not failing to catch the gloom in her eyes. “I’m slightly afraid of her schedule; she’s constantly working,” you replied, “but I can see why. She doesn’t say it, but she’s afraid to get backlash on another song the way “NDA” was reviewed.”

Before Maggie could reply, you felt two arms wrap around your shoulders and a head rest on top of yours. “Talking about me?”

“Maybe.” You tilted your head up, giving her a quick kiss, which she reciprocated with a bright, genuine smile when you pulled away. Maggie and Patrick stood up, deciding to leave you two be, but not without a reassuring hand on your knee and Maggie telling Billie where they were headed.

Billie rounded around you, sitting where her mom was not too long ago and noticing a different glint in your eyes. “You okay?”

“Just tired.” You sent her a smile. It wasn’t entirely false; you had stayed up later than usual to fill out emergency documents your workplace had sent you, despite the fact that you technically were on vacation. “Yeah, me too. The rehearsal ended, and there are still a couple hours until the show. You wanna go lay down?”

You looked at her with a confused face. “I thought you were going to continue mixing the song you’re working on?”

Billie sighed, wrapping her arm around your shoulder and pulling you into her. You laid your head on her shoulder, and she rested her head on yours. “I’ve thought about how much time I’ve been dedicating to the album when I should be taking time for you too. It feels like forever when I’m in the studio, mixing or writing, and you’re alone on the bus.”

“It’s fine, Billie; I know how important this album is to you,” you reassured her, placing your hand on her thigh. “I miss you a lot, and I won’t lie about that, but I wish you’d just take some time off working on the album. Not for me, but for you.”

Billie smiled down at you, taking her fingers under your chin to tilt your head up at her and embrace her in a soft kiss. “I’m more than happy you care about me, love. Come on,” she carefully stood up, and you eased out of your position on her shoulder before taking her outstretched hand, “let’s go to the green room and lay down.”

“One could say you’re happier than ever.”

“Oh, hush it.”

On the way there, the two of you were ultimately stopped by Danny, who seemed to be in a rush. “Billie! I know you’ve been working on the album a lot but I was wondering if you could re-record the-“

“Not today.” Billie interrupted with a short reply, and you smacked her upper chest at the tone she held. “Um,” you started off, eyeing the green room that wasn’t far away, “if you really need her, then it’s fine; I could-“

“Tomorrow, Danny.” The older man just nodded, giving the two of you a small smile before holding his phone to his ear, seemingly having been on a call the entire time, and rushing away.

“You’re busy tomorrow, though.” You quirked, having memorized Billie’s schedule for the month out of boredom one day. “You have to get up early for an interview, then a meeting, then rehearsals, then-“

“(Y/N),” she cut you off from your blabbering, holding you closer to her as you walked to the nearing green room, “Danny will realize sooner or later that I can’t make time to re-record... whatever he was getting at. I could use my small time slot to spend with you.”

“Yeah?”

“Definitely, baby.” Billie pushed open the door to the green room, and you practically rushed to the couch and laid down, holding your arms out for her to lay into, which she did with precaution. 

She preferred holding you, but she didn’t mind being held herself, and it didn’t take long for Finneas to walk in the room on a panic search for Billie and find the two of you knocked out, limbs entangled with one another.

☟ ☟ ☟

taglist: @grandpatrolnut @annalestern @jennas-10

[mountttmase]

Ships In The Night

Note - thought we could all use a lil fluff after we’ve been feeling for our boy 🥺 I just wanna look after him and cuddle him and kiss his lil cheeks 😌 also thank you for the anon who send this in MONTHS AGO I’m sorry I’m so slow 🩷 please let me know what you think I’d love to hear from you

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 4.5k

Warnings - pure fluff

‘When are you home again?’ You asked the moody pixelated face on your phone as you climbed into your cold and empty bed. It was the worst feeling getting inside and not crawling straight into your boyfriend's arms but what with Mason being away with England you hadn’t been able to do so in a few weeks now.

‘Flight takes off tomorrow night, I’ll be home late morning the day after. Will you be at work then?’ he asked you quietly, his sad eyes meeting yours for a second as if he knew the answer already but you confirmed it with a nod. ‘I’ll see you in the evening though, right?’

‘Of course, Mase. I’ll get home as soon as I can’ you reassured him and he offered you a tiny glimpse of a smile. ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’

‘Yeah, just sleepy and a bit anxious about the flight tomorrow’ he said, you knew there was more to it than that but he didn’t seem to be in the mood to talk about it.

‘Well I’ll let you go, yeah? Let you get some sleep’

‘Wait’ he interrupted and you noticed the shy look on his face ‘can you um, can you stay on the phone? Just till I’m asleep?’ He asked you quietly and your heart melted as you tried not to smile.

‘Of course I can’ you told him, moving one of his pillows so you were able to prop your phone up against it and watch him as he got settled himself. ‘Night Mase, love you’

‘Night. love you too’ he sighed with a small smile before shutting his eyes so he could fall asleep. Your heart broke for him as you watched him, the miserable expression he wore seemed to be permanently plastered on his face at this point and all you could think about doing was reaching out to trace his features and gently kiss his face like you knew he loved.

It had been a tough time for Mason at the moment and you really felt for him as you watched his breathing deepen and his face soften. His move from Chelsea to Manchester had taken more out of him than he’d like to admit and then came his injury that took him longer to recover from than he’d liked, however this trip away with England you thought would have given him a well needed change of scenery. The games hadn’t gone well there either and he’d spent most of his time on the bench.

It didn’t help that the pair of you had been like two ships in the night lately, barely getting to spend more than ten minutes together before bed most nights and it was affecting the pair of you more than you’d like to admit. You knew what Mason needed but the fact you were unable to give it to him was killing you but you were soon snapped out of your thoughts by the sound of Mason's gentle snoring and your heart swelled at the thought of seeing him again soon.

‘Night Mase’ you whispered quietly. ‘I love you so so much’ you told him even though you were pretty sure he couldn’t hear you and with one final glance over his perfect face you hung up.

You could barely concentrate at work the next day, Masons' little sad face plaguing your mind and before you knew what you were doing you were up and knocking on your bosses door.

‘Hey y/n, you okay?’ She smiled at you brightly and you nodded as you took a step inside.

‘Hey Maggie. Yeah I’m good thanks. How are you?’

‘Yeah good thanks’ she smiled before motioning for you to take a seat. ‘What can I do for you?’

‘I need to ask a favour, I know it’s short notice and you can tell me no but I um…’ you trailed off, trying to find the right words and you looked up to her giving you a sympathetic smile.

‘You need some time off?’ She asked with a smile and you nodded shyly.

‘I was hoping for tomorrow, you know I wouldn’t ask unless it was an emergency but if it can’t be done then I get it’

Her face didn’t falter at all, if anything she seemed to be laughing you off as if you were panicking over nothing.

‘Is it for Mason?’ She asked you sympathetically and you gave her a slight nod. Even though she was your boss the pair of you were pretty open about your personal lives and so she knew who Mason was and the struggles the pair of you had been facing lately.

‘Yeah, he gets back from camp tomorrow and I wanted to surprise him but if it’s too late notice it’s fine’

‘Don’t be silly. You’ve been working really hard lately so I think it’s only fair I cut you a bit of slack. And you’re right you don’t ever ask or take the time you need so it’s fine. In fact take the rest of the week off, it’s only a few days extra and we’ve got enough people about to cover’

‘Are you sure?’ You asked, your eyes filling with tears and you willed them to stay in your eyes and not embarrass yourself in front of your boss.

‘I’m sure. Just make sure you email me a list of what needs taking care of by the end of the day and I’ll distribute it out’ she smiled and you felt a wave of relief wash over you.

‘Thank you, honestly. This really means a lot to me’

‘I tell you what, bring me a box of those brownies I like in on Monday and we’ll call it quits’ she laughed and after another ten minutes of catching up you were back to your desk so you could make a quick plan of what needed to be done on the three days left of the week.

You left work a little late so you could make sure everyone was in check and when you saw your phone you noticed a text from Mason that made your heart thump.

You quickly opened the flight tracker on your phone so you could watch him make his way back to you when you could before making your way to the shops to get all the things you would need for the next few days.

You couldn’t wait to get to bed so you could wake up and be closer to seeing him but you kept looking back to check his flight, smiling to yourself as you watched the tiny plane make its way closer to you.

Mason had let you know he’d be home late morning but you didn’t want to make him suspicious by asking for exactly when he’d be in so when you woke up the next morning you made a start on breakfast so you could keep ready it for when he was back, knowing he would be hungry as soon as he stepped in the door. When that was done you sorted out everything else that you had planned for him and at 10:45 on the dot you heard the front door open, excitement filling you as you hid behind the curtain in the living room in order to surprise him but unfortunately you hadn’t been as sneaky as you wanted to be.

‘Y/n?! You here babe?’ He called as he walked into the living room and you stomped into his view with a huff.

‘How did you know?’ You pouted and he laughed at your childlike behaviour.

‘Your car’s still parked up on the drive’ he laughed and you slapped your forehead lightly to your forgetfulness. ‘Why aren’t you at work? Are you sick?’

‘No, I took the rest of the week off so we could spend some time together’ you told him shyly and it looked as though he sighed in relief before making his way over to you. You met him in the middle where he pulled you into a much needed hug, both melting into each other as he tucked his head into your neck and breathed you in as he slightly swayed you from side to side.

‘Thank you’ you just about heard him whisper into your neck and you pulled back, catching a glimpse of his glossy eyes that made your heart break. ‘Honestly, thank you, I’ve missed you like crazy’ he breathed as you cupped his jaw so you could stroke his cheeks lightly.

‘I’ve missed you too, Mase. So much’ you whispered before leaning forward to connect your lips together. It hadn’t been long by any stretch of the imagination, but the feeling of his lips on yours after a while felt like heaven and you couldn’t help but smile as he pulled you closer.

Kisses like this had been rare for the two of you lately and now he was back in your arms you were determined not to let him go. Holding onto the back of his head to let him know you intended to keep him there but you could tell from the way he was holding onto you for dear life that he wasn't ready to let go.

When you eventually had to pull away for some air you kept your foreheads pressed against each other, eyes closed as you basked in the other's presence until you were shyly looking at one another. Small smiles on your faces before you pecked the end of his nose.

‘You hungry? I’ve made breakfast’ you laughed and he nodded before you pulled him into the kitchen. Sitting him down at the table whilst you plated the pair of you up some food and grabbed his favourite juice from the fridge.

Sitting talking with him whilst you ate made you feel more settled than you thought. Laughing as he told you stories from camp about what he and Dec had got up to now they were finally reunited and you realised how much you missed your friends from home.

‘I’ll clean up in here’ you told him, taking his plate over to the dishwasher before nodding into the living room. ‘There’s a bag for you on the sofa, go get changed’

‘Why, what’s happening?’ he laughed, standing up so he could stretch but you just kissed his cheek and pushed him towards the door. ‘You’ll find out in a minute just get changed for me yeah?’

‘Okay’ he whispered, kissing the side of your head before making his way out of the room.

When you were finally done and could join him you couldn’t help but let out a little giggle out at his current state. There he sat on the sofa in a new bright white robe, socks and fuzzy slippers like he was about to go get a treatment at a spa and his ditzy smile made your heart sing as he finally looked at you.

‘What’s all this?’ He laughed, gesturing down to his attire but you just smiled before pulling your own robe on and grabbing a box from the table.

‘Well you’ve been working so hard lately and have been super busy. I thought you could use a little pamper session. I’ve got that face mask of mine you like, little cucumber slices for your eyes, and all sorts’

‘Oh yeah’ he laughed, but you could see the little glimmer in his eyes that let you know he loved the idea so without letting him say anything else you straddled his thighs and pulled the box next to you so you could get to work.

You fished out a white headband for him first. Positioning it securely around his hairline so his hair was all out of his face before reaching for the mask to apply to his skin. He happily sat there with his eyes closed and let you paint it onto him before making him rest his head back so you could place the cucumber slices on his eyes and the fact he was trying to hold back a smile was melting you.

You quickly put your own mask on before grabbing your favourite hand cream and sitting down next to him on the sofa. Taking his hand and placing it on the cushion that you’d placed on your lap before smoothing the cream out over his skin so you could start to massage it in gently.

‘What are you doing?’ He asked quietly, a slight laugh behind his voice and he gently raised a cucumber slice to look at you but you just sent him a wink back.

‘I’ve noticed when you play your hands are always balled up like you’re ready for a fight’ you teased, making him chuckle before putting his cumber back. ‘I think you carry a lot of stress in your hands, you need to learn to relax them. Does it feel nice?’

‘Very nice, thank you baby’

‘You know I’ve never really noticed it before but you’ve got really soft hands Mase’

‘Really?’ He giggled, never being able to take compliments from you for even the silliest things but you were determined to shower him with all of your affections today.

‘Yeah, they’re nice. I mean we’ve still got work to do on your nails but your skin is super soft’ you told him. Opening up a bottle of clear polish so you could start to paint them for him and you were surprised he let you.

Once you were done with his other hand you followed his lead and sat next to him, head laid back so you could relax your body into his and the feel of him lightly squeezing your thigh made your heart thump.

‘I can’t move my face’ you heard Mason say softly a little while after, looking up to see him trying to keep his face perfectly still so as not to crack the mask, so you quickly took the cucumber slices from his eyes and tried not to crack your own mask from smiling.

‘If you’ve had enough we can move on’

‘What’s next on the agenda ma’am?’ He asked cheekily, causing you to roll your eyes before standing up to pull him with you.

‘I was thinking a shower? Get all this muck off our faces and then we can just have a chilled one? We haven’t managed to watch the new series of sex education yet’

‘Okay’ he whispered, taking your hand and following you up to the bathroom so you could get undressed and under the warm water. Giggling at each other as you tried to wipe the thick clay from each other's faces before you grabbed the shampoo so you could wash his hair and give him a little head massage. You could tell from the sounds coming from his mouth he was enjoying every second of it and since you were feeling particularly nice you popped a hair mask on for him so it could sit whilst you washed the rest of him.

It was difficult, realising how much time had passed since you’d last seen him like this and touched him in any way but you didn’t want to take it any further right now. Today was about loving on him and showing him how much you appreciated the little moments with him. Physical affection in that way could cone later on.

Not wanting to ruin his precious hair, you washed the mask out soon after, getting yourselves dry In your room before you told him you had to go and grab something and you came back to find him sat on the bed in just his boxers.

‘I put your clothes in the dryer, I know you like it when they're warm’ you smiled, watching his face melt as he took them from you. Leaving a kiss on your forehead as he put his favourite comfy clothes on and once he was nearly ready you passed him a new pair of socks.

‘What are these?’

‘Well you said you liked my fuzzy socks that I got the other week? I thought you might like a pair of your own’

‘Thank you baby’ he laughed, plonking himself down so he could put them on before looking up to you with a bright smile.

‘Stay there, I’ll dry your hair’ you whispered, reaching to plug the dryer in and it didn’t take long for his hair to be fully dry as it was on the shorter side but it felt longer than it had for a while. ‘You growing your hair out again, Mase?’

‘I think so’ he nodded, looking up at you shyly. ‘What do you think?’

‘Well you know I think you look gorgeous no matter what’ you started, watching how his eyes dropped into his lap but the smile on his face made you warm. ‘But i like it like this, it really suits you’

‘Thank you’ he whispered as you turned the dryer off and set it down, his cheeks pink as you cupped his jaw so he’d look at you and your chest felt tight with how much love you were feeling for your man.

‘Don’t hide that pretty face from me’ you teased, kissing his forehead and he chuckled lightly. ‘Have I ever told you you’ve got the prettiest smile in the world’

‘Once or twice’ he chuckled, head resting in the palm of your hand. Eyes so full of love you thought you might burst so you gently leant forward to peck his lips softly.

‘You ready to go downstairs?’

‘You go set it up, I’ll be down in a second. I just need to sort something out and I won’t be able to relax until I do’ he told you, pressing a kiss on your cheek and even though you had no idea what he was talking about you let him go and ran downstairs to sort some snacks out but when you walked back into the living room you were met with a confused Mason.

‘Baby, I left some boxes in the spare room to go in the loft but I can’t see them anywhere. Do you know what happened to them?’

‘Oh yeah, I put them in the loft for you. I know you hate doing it so I thought I’d just do it for you. Did you need something from them? Sorry I didn’t even think to check’

‘Baby, you didn’t need to do that’ he told you, coming over to take your hands in his as he looked down at you. You could tell he was a little annoyed with you for doing it yourself but the relief behind his eyes made you smile. ‘They were heavy, you shouldn’t of done that on your own’

‘I’m a big strong girl, Mase. I can do it’ you laughed. ‘I know going in there is your least favourite thing to do so I just thought I’d lighten the load a bit’

‘Well thank you but I still don’t like it’ he whispered, kissing you softly but you could feel the smile on his lips.

‘Come on, let’s get comfy’ you told him, arranging the cushions so you could lay down and pop your head on them before inviting him to lay on top of you. His head happily resting on your chest as he wrapped his arms around you. Palms flat on your back and warming your skin as your fingers got lost in his hair, stroking over his broad back with your free hand.

Not long after you grabbed a blanket to put over the pair of you, feeling Mason go heavy as he was probably exhausted from the flight and you didn’t want him to get cold.

You loved it when he fell asleep on you, knowing he felt comfortable and safe with you and you couldn’t help but continue to stroke over the back of his head and trace his ears lightly. Not enough pressure to wake him but just for your own self indulgence as you looked down at the boy who you loved more than anything.

You ended up falling asleep yourself for a little bit, he breathing relaxing you just like it always did and when you woke up around half an hour later he was looking up at you softly before pressing a kiss to your neck.

‘I’ll get some dinner going in a sec babe’ you told him, a yawn escaping and you managed to shut your mouth before he tried to poke his finger in. ‘I don’t know about you but I’m starving’

‘We could always order out’ he reasoned, fingers brushing along your bare skin as he rolled to the side and hovered over you. ‘You’ve done loads for me today I bet the last thing you wanna do is cook dinner’

‘No it’s fine. I’ve already got all the stuff I need’

‘What are we having?’

‘It’s a surprise,’ you whispered, kissing his jaw. ‘How about you go sort your bags out and bring your washing down and I’ll start cooking. It won’t take that long’

You made Mason sit at the table so you could bring his food in and when it was in front of him you noticed the wide smile on his face. Knowing he’d realised what was going on immediately.

‘You know I haven’t had this since that night’ he laughed, digging into the pasta dish you’d made him. A replica of what you’d both eaten on your first date and even though you knew it wasn’t exactly the same you were happy with how it turned out.

‘I know it’s not identical but-‘

‘It’s perfect’ he interrupted, kissing your cheek softly before carrying on eating, Although it was hard as the pair of you couldn’t seem to shut up. Content with your person again and everything you’d wanted to tell each other lately soon came spilling out.

‘Do you remember what we had for dessert on our first date?’ You asked him, his eyes softening as he took your hand before nodding at you.

‘We shared that big sundae, right?’

‘We did. You wanna do that again?’ You laughed and he nodded his head furiously. ‘Let me clear up and I’ll make it for us’

‘I can clear up’ he told you, reaching for your plate so he could stack it with his. ‘You go get started and I’ll tidy the rest away. You’ve done most of it anyway’

He was right, it was just the plates and one pan that needed to be sorted so you let him load the dishwasher as you started getting all your bits together but his voice soon had you stopping altogether.

‘Who are these from, babe?’ You heard Mason ask, turning to see him eyeing up the vase of red tulips on the windowsill and your face broke out into a smile as he looked at you curiously. Mason loved buying you flowers and clearly the thought of someone else maybe buying them for you looked like it had annoyed him but he needn’t have worried.

They were for him. Not you.

‘They’re from me’

‘Oh really? You got them for yourself?’

‘No, they’re for you’ you told him, smiling sweetly up at him but you could tell he didn’t believe you.

‘Pfft, sure thing. Very funny’

‘No Mase, I’m serious’ you told him, trying to convince him with your eyes and you could tell when it finally clicked. His soft eyes going wide as the bridge of his nose started to get rosey before his eye flickered between the flowers and your face.

‘Really? For me?’ He asked, his voice and octave higher than usual. He tried to suppress a smile but you couldn’t stop admiring the way his cheeks were getting pinker by the second. ‘Why have you got me flowers’

‘Well you always get them for me, they’re just to show you how much I love you and appreciate you’ you told him, letting him hide his face away in your neck as he was clearly feeling a little overwhelmed. ‘Do you like them?’

‘I love them, baby. Thank you’ he told you quietly, squeezing you a little tighter as he slightly swayed you from side to side. ‘No one’s ever given me flowers before’

‘Well I’m honoured to be your first’ you winked, resting your hand on his cheek once he’d pulled back so you could stroke over his soft skin but the way his bright brown orbs were staring into yours made your legs feel like jelly.

‘I didn’t realise how much I needed a day like this with you’ he told you quietly, a shy smile erupting onto his face for the millionth time that day. ‘I know things have been a bit chaotic recently but you know I love you so much, don’t you’

‘I know’ you smiled, tears welling in your eyes at how sincere he sounded. ‘And I love you just as much’

‘I know’ he winked. Repeating your words from just before. ‘But honestly, thank you. I felt like everything was getting on top of me and all I’ve wanted was to be around you for a bit’

‘Well we’ve got the next few days to ourselves and we can do whatever you want. So if you wanna stay here and do nothing we can, or we can go visit your family or whatever you want. Whatever makes you happy’

‘You make me happy’ he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead before he pulled you into his chest tightly.

‘You make me happy too’ you spoke into his chest. Overwhelmed and content from the day you’d spent together and you promised yourself you'd make sure to make more time for each other. Even if it was just an evening spent with just the two of you, being around him made you feel better than anything else.

You didn’t want to let him go, but you knew the ice cream would be melting so you lent back, his big brown eyes looking at you softly so you reached up to kiss him. Revelling in the way his whole body relaxed as he held you tighter.

‘Come on you, the ice cream will be a puddle soon’ you chuckled, kissing his jaw as he rolled his eyes but he let you go, smacking your bum lightly as you walked off but the sound of both of your laughter filling the kitchen made your heart soar.

You had your person back and you knew you’d be fine.

Thank you so much for reading 🩷 if you liked it or had any feed back I’d love to hear it so feel free to drop me an ask or reblog or whatever you’re comfortable with 😘

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Baby Pictures: Hazbin Hotel

Lucifer: Alright, everyone! Gather 'round! (Reaches into his inner coat pocket and pulls out a stack of various styles of pictures) I GOT BABY PICTURES!!!

Charlie: DAD!!!! NO!!!! NOT MY BABY PICTURES!!!

Lucifer: I only have a couple of you in here, Char-Char. The rest are baby pictures of everyone else!

Angel: WHAT?!?!?! You're lyin'! Lemme see! (Swipes an offered photograph from Lucifer and barks with laughter) Holy Shit!!! This is me and my sister Molly at our cousin, Vinny's, confirmation as little tykes!

Charlie: Let me see! Let me see! (Looks over Angel's shoulder and sees two little brunette 18 month Olds wearing all white and looking almost the same. The o lying difference is one has shorter hair while the other has long curls) AWWWWWWW!!!!

Lucifer: Husk? Want yours? It's sepia toned, but still distinguishable.

Husk: Burn that shit....

Lucifer: (holds up the old photograph and frowns) Are you sure? There's a nice lady holding you-

Husk: (swipes the picture and tucks it under his hat) Gimme that!.... Asshole bringing my mother into this....

Lucifer: Alastor, here, you and your weirdness... (flicks the picture of Alastor to him)

Alastor: (Catches and looks at the photo with a sentimental smile) Awww, I was adorable.

Charlie: (watches as Lucifer passes baby/family photos to the rest of the hotel inhabitants, but skipping over Vaggie) Uh.... Dad?

Lucifer: Yes, sweetie?!

Charlie: Do.... you have a picture of Vaggie?

Lucifer: Hmmm.... (flips through the few he has left in his hands) No. No Maggie in here, sweetie. I'm sorry.

Vaggie: Babe, don't worry about it. Really. I don't remember anything outside of Heaven. It wouldn't make any difference-

Lucifer: OPE!!! I LIED!!! (Digs deeper into his picket and pulls out a baby Vaggie picture) I thought I had one in here! Here ya go, kiddo!

Charlie: (takes the picture gingerly and stares in wonder at the image of a little, light brown, straight haired baby with tanned skin, sleeping in a diaper and t-shirt while sucking her thumb) ...............

Vaggie: Charlie? (Looks over Charlie's shoulder) Woof.... that's one ugly little bitch....

Charlie: (grabs Vaggie's shoulders and presses their noses together) DON'T SAY THAT!!!! THIS - (holds up the picture) -IS THE CUTEST BABY I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!!!

Vaggie: (leaning away) Okay, hun. I'm sorry.

Charlie: We're making one!

Vaggie: ....Excuse you?

Charlie: (dragging Vaggie over to Lucifer, Digs around in her dad's inner pocket, and pulls out the baby potion before pulling Vaggie towards the stairs to their bedroom) YOU HEARD ME!!!!

Vaggie: (dragging her feet) Babe! Can we talk about this first?!

Lucifer: Atta Girl, Charlie!!!

[vidavalor]

I don't think Crowley's moment with Nina is an "oh" moment... Crowley has known forever. And he knows Aziraphale knows and feels the same, just not where they're at with it. If not, nothing he says in the "...and I would like to spend" scene makes any sense, nor would multiple other scenes. What Crowley realizes in that conversation with Nina is that Aziraphale (and, to a degree, Crowley himself) are fixating on Nina and Maggie to avoid talking about their own relationship.

He realizes it because, in that moment, *Nina admits that that's what she's doing with him*, which is what prompts Crowley's realization. She's stressed about her relationship with her abusive partner who is leaving her and she thinks the couple from the business across the street (Crowley and Aziraphale) are an adorable mess so she's been into their drama to distract from her own. It's when she said that that Crowley had his "oh" moment. He's not realizing that he and Aziraphale are in love. He already knows that. He's realizing he and Aziraphale are fixating on Nina and Maggie to avoid their own, less straightforward relationship.

Nina peppers Crowley with questions about their relationship and finds out in the process that these two who are obviously crazy about one another haven't really gotten together exactly, even as they are running around trying to get her and Maggie together. She admits basically that she's fixating on him and Aziraphale because "other people's love lives always seem more straightforward than our own" and Crowley realizes... oh. *That's* what this is about.

That's why Aziraphale's mind came up with this excuse to give his abusive partner (Heaven) and now he's obsessing over making it happen. He's projecting all of our stuff on Maggie and Nina. He wants us to talk and he doesn't know how to start it so he's coming up with scenarios for Maggie and Nina that involve us, too-- that are kinda really just about us. And I've been helping him because I don't know how to start this either and I just want him to be happy. I don't want go push this too far or go too fast and freak him out, so I've just been letting him drive it and now we are both trying to talk to one another through what we are doing about Maggie and Nina.

Oh sorry you thought we were together? Oh no I mean we are we've been married for millennia actually we just have only spent the last few years able to just be around one another with just a reduced fear of being murdered by heaven and hell so we actually are, at once, completely besotted with one another and also incapable of speaking in anything but our little code, which we honestly really can only speak as well as Aziraphale can speak French and oh you're looking at me now like ok well then how do you think you and he would know romance enough to help me and Maggie and ok yes seeing it now right yes ok fair point, great chat...

[itsgrimeytime]

I Told You Now (Part Two) || Rick Grimes (TWD) × gn!reader

rick grimes taglist: @golden-hoax @mgparker

Part 1

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Inspiration: I've Told You Now by Sam Smith or "But what the hell, why do you think I come 'round here on my free will? Wasting all my precious time... Oh, the truth spills out and oh I...I've told you now."

Summary: You were in love with Rick, not that he knew. You weren't sure you were ever going to tell him. What could you say, you loved the kids and didn't want to lose them too. It was too risky. But finding out he was chasing after some married woman was just the last straw.

TWs: avoidance, a little bit of crying, not really unrequited love, and a teeny-tiny bit of angst (with a happy ending).

[[A/N: The song hits, totally worth this little two-parter. A happy ending!!! Finally. Enjoy :)) ]]

You were avoiding him, as long as you physically could.

Which was apparently a long time. A month, maybe. You weren't keeping count.

You aren't sure how it spread, but suddenly, everyone was a buffer. Maggie had started it, offering to take Judith to you from Rick, and it had just spiraled. He couldn't get a foot in front of your house, someone was always in the way -even Daryl had leaned up against your porch once, shaking his head. Rick had been particularly disheartened that time.

You saw him throughout Alexandria, sometimes watching him out of your window -even as he tried to come talk to you.

Since then, he seemed to be rougher around the edges. Blue eyes heavy with hair messy and hardly wearing his uniform anymore. Sometimes, if you paid enough attention, you could see the bags under his eyes get heavier. You wondered if he had been sleeping, and had asked Maggie. She didn't know, but the two of you could gather the truth.

Never with Jessie. You'd never seen him with Jessie. Not since that day, you weren't sure exactly why.

Was he afraid that it'd hurt your feelings? He'd already done that, why be afraid to now?

You weren't even sure what he wanted to say to you. Sorry? That was too much work just to apologize. He'd been trying since about a week after your confession, every day since then. Had he truly just wanted to apologize?

If not that, then what?

You really had no idea.

"Are you ready?" Maggie asked, poking her head through your front door.

You pursed your lips, straightening your shirt in the mirror ever-so-slightly, "Why is she doing this again?"

She being Deanna. She'd been trying to throw dinners where the whole community came for... togetherness, or something. This had been the first time everyone agreed to it. The divide was exhausting, and everyone wanted to try something new.

You weren't exactly pumped, to say the least.

Rick was going to be there, and while you had been adjusting to his absence, you weren't handling it well. You still loved him as much as you did a month ago, it hadn't stopped. You thought it would've stopped by now-

Then again, something lasting years wasn't just going to vanish in a month, was it?

"You know why," Maggie replied, watching you shift a few things about your appearance, "-she's been drillin' it into our heads for months."

That she had.

"Yeah, yeah," you agreed, making your way to her side, "-let's just get this over with."

That led you to here, as you sipped on a drink and leaned against a wall. It was a little like you were in college and had come to a party without any of your friends. Except you were surrounded by friends.

Carol had even come up to you a few minutes ago, holding your shoulders and looking at you the way she always did now (something a little like pity), "You alright?"

You had shooed her away, telling her to enjoy the dinner, that you were fine-

And you were. Kinda.

You kept feeling his eyes on you, just watching you -maybe waiting for you to make a move. Or maybe he was just looking to look. Maybe, your mind treacherously thought, he missed you.

You swallowed the rest of your drink at that thought. Silencing your mind, that's enough.

Placing your glass on the table just to your left, you peered along the crowd. Everyone was mingling, groups pinched off and chattering. You weren't sure what about, maybe just their experiences within the apocalypse? It was surely depressing though, so-

Maggie had initially told you to stick by her side, but she and Glenn were too much; cute, really, but not helpful to your situation. You had the spare thought to join Daryl, he was in his own little corner, but you thought it best to leave him be. Everybody needed their alone time, especially him.

So, with that thought, you left your glass on the table and decided to head home. You debated telling Maggie that you were, but the crowd that separated the two of you was not worth it. You thought you saw Deanna in the mix somewhere, and you really did not want to deal with her right now.

You slipped out of the door in silence.

You hadn't really thought that he would see you duck out, that he might be inclined to follow you. You should have.

The night was chilly, sunsetting, eerily quiet, and you suddenly had the thought you were the first to leave. You wouldn't be surprised, to be fair; you were there for about an hour after the actual dinner. Socializing was the main point of it all, why would anyone leave early?

Whatever, there was always the next one.

You slowly made your way down the stairs, feet padding along the wood and then down onto the road; you weren't in a rush. In fact, the street was kind of peaceful when silent, and the sunset really was beautiful. Made you feel a little like you weren't in the apocalypse, despite the low groans you could hear outside the fence. You stopped for a second to see it, the pinks and oranges dusting along the sky.

Then, there was a creak like the wood of a porch step under someone's feet.

You let out a heavy breath, of course.

You weren't scared then, somehow. It made your chest hurt, yeah, but you'd expected it eventually. You couldn't avoid him forever.

"Hey, Rick," you spoke into the chilly air, not moving or turning to face him.

It seemed to startle him -you heard the footsteps stop in their place for a moment. You crossed your legs then, sitting on the street -watching the sunset with a renewed focus.

You knew your clothes were getting dirty, but somehow, you had laundry. And you were kind of used to dirty clothes, it made you feel a little less alien here. It had been a while since you got here, but you still felt... odd. Out of place.

Now, though, as you sat and watched the sky, you felt at home. Human.

You heard his footsteps start up again -his slow gait ringing familiar in your head, all the way up until he was right beside you. Wordlessly, he sat down.

His woodsy smell was the first thing you noted, seeping into your nose -there was something in you that felt like you could never forget it. And then you just felt his presence, he sat close enough that you could feel his body heat -your elbows would bump if your hands weren't sat in your lap. Finally, you felt his eyes bore into your side -flicking back and forth from you to the sky.

"It's pretty, isn't it?"

Rick seemed to think about it for a second, and you felt like his eyes were still on you, "Yeah, it is."

"Makes me feel human again," you responded, honestly, "-I used to wait to watch the sunrise some nights. Makes me feel like I'm there again."

His eyes moved to the sky then, and out of the corner of your eye, you looked at him. He was wearing a white button-up, the first few undone and his hair wasn't as messy. You mindlessly wondered if he'd made an effort for the dinner, or maybe he'd just... gotten over it all.

A string of your heart snapped at the thought, stinging your chest.

"When I was a kid," he suddenly started, words low and mumbly (but maybe it was just the accent), "-used to go out on my roof when I couldn't sleep, watch the sunrise. Momma 'ated me for it."

You laughed a little, and almost immediately his eyes were back on you -scattering along the side of your face. It felt like your heart was in your throat, and if you hadn't confessed already, you felt like you might've done it then.

"What do you want to say?" you asked, heavy, and curious. It felt right to say it.

"What?" he questioned, "-To you?"

"Yeah," you inhaled a breath, turning to him -you'd forgotten what it had felt like to hold his eye contact, "-you keep coming back. That... That can't be as simple as an apology."

Rick hummed, seemingly taking you in a moment.

"Unless," you recanted -a little overwhelmed at the attention, "-it was. I guess I don't know."

He took your words in stride, eyes glazing back over onto the sky. Yours followed them, tracing over the wispy clouds -the colors were fading to darkness, and it wouldn't be long until it was over.

"'S been a shitty month," he finally said.

You laughed a little, and you could see his lips quirked up out of the corner of your eye. You had missed him, a lot. Why couldn't you be friends again?

"God, Rick, I'm in fucking love with you!"

Right. Your heart twisted in your chest -you mindlessly put a hand over it like you were protecting it somehow. You felt Rick's eyes follow the motion.

"Ya mind if we talk inside? 'Think we got some company."

Your eyes trailed back to the house, Deanna's, and sure enough, Daryl sat outside -leaning against the wall. Maggie was looking out the window, unabashedly; you had the thought that she had sent Daryl to check it out.

Daryl looked at you then, offering.

You shook your head, mouthing silently, 'I'm okay'.

He didn't wait a moment, turning back into the house -nursing a drink close to his chest. Rick watched the movement just as you did, Maggie's green eyes still blinking at you -intently, a little like she was trying to read you.

You turned back to the sky, Daryl would tell her.

"Yeah," you answered, finally -taking a long, deep breath, "-we can do that."

You'd decided your house, it was closer than his and he seemed to want you to be comfortable. You weren't sure you could be around him, not now, but the thought was nice. As soon as you slipped into the door, you pulled your shoes off -placing them by the door.

"Shoes off," you insisted.

Rick mindlessly followed the instruction, laughing a little as he slipped off his boots, "'S a little bossy, ain't it?"

You rolled your eyes, a smile biting at your lips, "You mop my floor and then we'll talk, Grimes."

Leisurely walking through your house, you made your way to the living room -a bit routinely. You'd liked having a house, but it was kind of empty. Lonely. All the houses had two floors, extra bedrooms, and it was just... you. The Grimes's household felt much nicer, rooms filled and smiling faces.

You liked being there. You missed it.

Without hesitating, you threw yourself onto the couch -landing in your typical spot. None of the other seats were really used, it made something in your chest twist.

Rick followed, sitting beside you, but leaving enough room for you to turn sideways -leaning against the arm. The pillow was even in the right spot, you guessed he could tell it was your favorite spot. Anyone could really.

Even still, he was smiling at you (practically lying down) in a way you'd never seen before. Something new. Your curiosity bit your tongue, but you refused to ask; he had enough to say, you figured a look, a smile, didn't matter.

"Ya comfortable?" He chuckled -a little teasingly.

"This is my own home," you replied -playfully, "-I'll sit however I want, Grimes."

He threw his hands up into a mock surrender, pushing himself to lay the same way -he sat up enough to still look at you.

It kinda warmed your heart to see someone else, Rick especially, on the other side of the couch. He mirrored your own stance, and something in you believed that to be special, very special.

He was still smiling at you in that same way, it made you almost furrow your eyebrows. You couldn't read it, and that was something you really weren't used to. You could usually tell by the twitch of his nose if he was upset, you'd just... known him. But this, you'd never seen this before.

You opened your mouth to ask, but Rick beat you to it.

"'S really comfortable," he mumbled, "-I'll give it to ya."

"Thank you," you cheered with a smile of your own.

You could almost imagine that it was before, and your confession hadn't happened. Just you and Rick. This moment would have been a quiet one, maybe after Judith went down for a nap. That was usually when you and Rick spent the most time together, tiny little moments in his home. But, it wasn't one of those and you knew that.

You were looking up at the ceiling -eyes smoothing across the blank space, distracting yourself, "Rick?"

He hummed in response.

"Why are you here?"

There was a silence then, and you felt him shift. You peeked over at him and saw him fully sat up -facing you, and closer than before. Something in you said to follow the movement so you did. You were sure if you hadn't, he would've asked you to.

Something about this was very serious. Or at least he thought so.

He sighed, looking down at his hands and fidgeting with them. You'd seen the habit a few times, rarely though, and you wondered why exactly he was doing it now.

"'S been a really shitty month," he repeated, a little with a laugh -something in you said it wasn't a joke.

You paused, debating your words -looking at him, and deciding on a little whisper, "Yeah, I know."

He looked up at that, blue eyes matching yours. A little like he hadn't expected it. Like maybe he thought you were doing well, healing. He couldn't have been more wrong, and something in you wanted to tell him that. That you had missed him like a limb, that you still loved him so much, that you were probably never going to get over him. No matter how hard you tried.

Your lips stayed sealed shut.

"'Ve had a lotta time to think," he murmured, eyes back onto his hands, "-ever since your... ever since ya told me."

Your eyes remained on him, patiently. Something in you itched to stop his fidgeting -pull his hands apart (maybe intertwine them), you resisted it.

"It... It started wit' an apology," he explained, now looking at you -eyes scanning along your face, "-it really did. I felt like shit for doin' 'at to you. An' I still do. I just..."

Your eyes darted between his -his eyes intense and focused like he wanted you to listen. So, you did.

"I thought I could talk to ya, when I dropped off Judith, tell ya then-" he ran a hand through his hair, "-but Maggie came to get 'er. And I thought maybe ya just needed a lil' time."

You nearly apologized because of the look in his eyes -the desperation. How long had he felt like that? Guilt twisted in your stomach.

"I gave ya a week," he continued, "-'Thought I could try now, maybe you'd wanna listen. But then..."

He looked at you.

"Well, ya already know."

You did. It spilled out before you could stop it.

"I'm sorry," you blurted, "-about all of them. I never... They just started doing it, and I... I didn't stop them-"

Your words fell short, as his hand went to hold yours -a small little embrace of comfort.

"Ya don't 'ave to do 'at," he breathed, something settling in his eyes (they kept darting to your held hands), "-you were hurtin'. I get it, really."

He seemed a little guilty, maybe about your feelings. He didn't have to be, it wasn't his fault. You were in love with him, how could he control that? You almost told him that, but he started talking again before you could.

"The longer I went without ya," he swallowed, eyes hesitant on yours, "-the more... the more I was thinkin'. Feelin'."

You wanted to soothe him, guilt creeping up your skin but it wasn't the time.

"I was tryna to understand it. Maybe, see where I had somehow missed that you... See the signs, I guess. Instead, I-" he bit his lip, "-I started just missin' ya."

His eyes were dusted with tears now, and your heart felt heavy in your chest. You still loved him, and you didn't want him to cry-

"I didn't kno' the extent, until," he looked down, wiping at his eyes, "-until time kept passin' by. I kept not seein' ya, and it just kept gettin' worse-"

You squeezed his hand once, solidly. He seemed to falter at that, like he'd forgotten; his thumb thoughtfully rubbed against your skin.

"You gotta believe me when I say-" he looked at you -straight in the eyes, "-it felt like a piece of me was gone. I felt like... like somethin' in me was missin'."

Your eyes were starting to get blurry.

"I didn't realize how much I was... used to ya," he swallowed, sniffling, "-and it just felt like this big, empty space. I kept lookin' at the couch, where you sat, and it just... it wasn't right. It wasn't supposed to be empty."

"Rick," you whispered out -he didn't listen.

"And the more I thought about it, the more I..." he let out a breath, tears rolling down his cheeks, "-the more I realized I wanted ya there."

You pressed your lips together, trying not to cry, but you could feel the spill of tears from your eyes. Slow little trickle down your cheek.

"Y/N, I-" he started, a little desperately, "-I realized somethin' in 'at month."

You almost asked what, but he cut you off.

"I love you," he echoed out -a little like he didn't expect a response, "-I can't... I can't tell ya when it started or why I didn't realize it, but I-"

You felt a sob rack through your throat, something new lighting up your chest -you knew what that look was now. God, you knew what that look was now.

"-When I was sittin' there, by myself. I just kept thinkin' 'bout you. When I met ya, when you met Carl, when you met Judith, seein' you with 'em, you in my house like ya belonged there, you do is the thing, you do."

"Rick," it bubbled up your throat, as you tried to wipe at your eyes.

Instead, he used his free hand, thumb rubbing back and forth -holding your face like you were something so precious. Were you? Precious to him?

He was looking at you that way again, "I'm just a fuckin' dumbass, and didn't realize it then."

You laughed a little then, it was a little weepy but Rick didn't seem to mind. He smiled big and bright at the noise like it was all he ever wanted to hear.

He paused for a moment, before getting more serious, "I kno' it's been a month, an' you've been tryin' to get over me. But I..."

You watched him for a moment, waiting.

"I hope you 'aven't," he finished, "-I really hope ya 'aven't because now 'at I've realized it. There's nothing more I want in my life-"

You couldn't help it then, moving your hands to cup his face -slight stubble making your palms tingle, "I haven't, I haven't. I tried, but it just... It wouldn't go away, no matter how hard I tried-"

He didn't let you finish your thought, practically leaping forward to connect his lips to yours. You were stunned for a second, before pushing forward -pressing your fingertips into his skin. It was a little salty, and a little desperate, but it was right. Everything felt right.

Something in your chest mended, healed, right then and there. As he kissed you like he needed it, like he'd been waiting forever, you felt a piece of yourself slot back into place.

You pulled back, taking a deep breath through your lungs (that kinda sounded a little like a sob), and smiling. You felt like you'd never smiled as big as you had then.

"I love you too," you expressed, fingertips still holding him, cradling him.

Rick only grinned brighter, letting out a sigh of relief -you felt your heart quicken in your chest, "Thank god."

You laughed fully then, eyes not leaving his -a twinkle shined in his, something new, something happy. You wanted to learn them all now, know him totally and completely.

You kissed a few more times before Rick seemed to be happy with it -quick presses of the lips. It made you giggle, and that would make him kiss you again. It felt neverending but you didn't mind.

He pulled back though, your hands falling from his face -instead, he placed his palm against your cheek, and you leaned into it. Smiling, he just looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. And you thought for a spare moment maybe you were.

Pretty quickly, you settled into his side -arm coming to wrap around you. His fingertips danced along your upper arm, as you nestled your head into his shoulder -as close as possible. You had a hand laid on his chest, and you could feel the thrum of his heartbeat under his skin; it made your head a little woozy.

"Wanna know somethin'?" He hummed, and you could feel the timber in his chest.

"Hmm?" You responded, eyes heavy from just being near him, being so warm.

"Carl said he was gonna kick my ass if I didn't tell ya soon," he revealed -a telling smile in his tone.

You laughed, a little in disbelief, "Really?"

"Yeah," he ran his fingers leisurely along your back, "-kid knew before I did. 'Just think, Dad.' And everyday 'at went by he kept lookin' at me like a disappointed momma. I could actually see a lil' of her in 'im-"

You laughed even louder, fidgeting with the buttons of his shirt (not enough to get them undone).

"Threatened to tell ya 'imself if I didn't," he mumbled out, a little low in tone like he didn't want to break the feeling of this moment.

"Oh," you yawned, "-I believe him. You raised one hell of a kid, Grimes."

You could feel him look down at you, so you looked up at him -a breath away. You had the initial urge to kiss him, but you'd gotten enough of that, already.

He looked at you so fondly, with a tiny smile on his lips, "Ya tired, sweetheart?"

Something in you fluttered at the name, but you expected plenty more to come. You supposed you'd get used to it.

"How could you tell?" you quipped -wiping at your eyes.

He slid a hand down the side of your face -smoothing along your skin carefully as if you were delicate. Maybe a little like a flower, and he was marveling at the beauty.

"You wanna sleep at mine?"

You blinked, slowly -a bit in shock, "Really?"

"Yeah," he smiled, something soft in his tone, "-I'd actually prefer it, so... Don't make me beg ya."

"I don't know," you teased, "-That's pretty tempting."

He didn't say anything back for a moment. Eyes languidly smoothing over your face, like he was thinking. Like he had something else to say, or maybe he was coming up with one.

It came out in a gust of words.

"What if ya just stayed?"

"Where?" you asked, tilting your head slightly to look at him better.

"Wit' me," he answered, a little casually, "-wit' the kids. In the house."

You laughed, a little in shock, "Rick... be serious."

"I am," he confirmed, his hand suddenly stopping on your back, "-I want ya there. You belong there. And I think, if ya don't-"

You waited.

"-I might 'ave to beg."

You laughed again, playfully tapping your chin, "That might be a sight to see, Grimes."

"You gonna make me beg?" he asked with a quirk of a smile, moving suddenly, "-'Cause I'll do it-"

"Rick-" you laughed again, watching him helplessly, as he made his way to the ground.

Before you could blink, he was on his knees infront of you -hands clasped together and his elbows resting on your knees.

"Rick, you don't have to-"

"Please, move in wit' me," he interrupted, eyes set solidly on yours -he was very much serious, "-I ain't gonna waste any more time, I want ya wit' me."

"You really don't have to beg," you grinned.

"Well, I am," he chuckled a little, "-so what are you sayin'?"

"Rick," you looked at him, solidly settling your eyes on his, "-it's not even a question. But yes, I'll move in with you."

He grinned brighter then, eyes sparkling in that special way you'd gotten used to by now.

"Good," he finally said, "-'cause I was gonna drag ya outta the house myself, if ya sa-"

"I'd like to see you try," you teased, and there was a little glint in his eye -mischievous.

And if he carried you through the streets of Alexandria in the middle of the night -both laughing like you couldn't stop... that was between the two of you.

Well, and Daryl who stood out on his porch -watching the two of you scamper into the night.

"Fuckin' finally."