#sorry if anyone i tagged prefers not to participate in chains

[ohvolewheredidyougo]

was scrolling through my dash and this looks like fun. so i will do it.

tagging @atearinspaceairlock @superparadise-ghost @a-tear-in-space @zapp-branigan aaaaand anybody else who would like to join!

ok the post was getting way too long so i'm. just gonna start anew.

thank u so much @crazymadredfox for tagging me!! this is such a cute idea!! i stole ur meowth plush btw!! >:3

tagging; @roseofcards90 @sai-my-beloved @asagiri-fushimi-natsu @laveindrz @beddhead-red @megacarapa @bernkastel-ao3 @boy-yuri @icarianiscariot @trashcan-train and literally anyone who wants!!!

[ventruevitae]

OC SMASH OR PASS

tagged by @ineed-to-sleep ily <3<3<3

go ahead and consider this a tag if you see it! i can't think of anyone rn + i'll probably be doing these for other ocs anyway so sdgfhhj

--

rules: pretty self explanatory. include physical descriptions or pics, and propaganda. the “other” label can be used for “sexuality misalignment” (ie: oc is femme and you’re gay, vice versa or you aren’t into smashing but a specific thing you wanna do with them like perhaps hug or study them under a microscope idc).

these images are all over the place don't @ me

BASICS:

Full name: Katerina Irakleidis (That last name gets swapped out every few decades. Most people just call her Kat.)

Age: Looks like she's in her mid-twenties, was actually born in the 20s

Height: 5"3-ish (almost always wearing some sort of heel tbh, it's hard to clock her actual height between that & the hair)

Eyes: green

Gender: cis woman

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: bisexual (major preference for masc/butch types gender notwithstanding btw lmao)

PROS:

vampire.

bit of a hard outer shell but if you break through it ohh man, truly one of the most passionate & devoted people you will meet

surprisingly selfless also?

knows how to dress well, you'll always have something pretty on your arm & she'll be so happy if you let her coordinate outfits

you want to see the world burn? cool, so does she. just point her in a direction & tell her who you want dead.

really goddamn good in bed. she knows it too.

money isn't a problem. how did she come by it? don't worry about it darling.

loves physical touch. top contender of the cuddliest vampire in LA currently.

she can teach you how to do some fun swing dance stuff from her fledgling years c: (she knows a ton of partner dance styles & is pretty good at making up steps/choreo on the fly--so yes, you will get those midnight kitchen dances if you so desire)

basically a happy/content kat is someone who likes to get pretty domestic with her partners. she seems like she'd be looking for something flashy, but nope. her biggest desire is really just settling into something peaceful & being called someone's baby.

CONS:

vampire but also a Ventrue. ymmv on how much of a con this is.

see above: ventrue possessiveness. not necessarily your fault, but can & will become your problem.

"hard outer shell" = she can be genuinely prickly & argumentative at times and can leave a fairly negative impression on people. doesn't care if this happens 99% of the time either.

will not be staying with you if her sire is still alive.

actually that probably puts a pretty massive target on your back, sorry.

is probably definitely still hung up on her sort-of-not-really-an-ex. you will never be him, i am sorry. can you blame her though, who's out here getting over nines rodriguez?

she has a sister, which would be a pro except this sister is a lasombra who will regularly fuck up any emotional regulation kat has scraped together after they cross paths (assuming it doesn't get more physical)

chain smokes. dead god she smokes So Much. doesn't matter for health reasons, being dead and all, but still.

[prurientpuddlejumper]

Secret Santa

For @thatesqcrush​​​’s Holiday Bingo!

Warnings: MANY. NSFW. Sexual assault (explicit about the immediate aftermath), trauma, angst, insecurity, eventually fluff. 

Today my brain really wanted emotionally fragile traumatized Barba who has a crush on reader but doesn’t know if they’ll ever see him as anything but broken now. Also it’s Christmas. 

Follow-ups: Te Quiero, Just Hold Me

Rafael Barba x Reader

3,000 words

Your ideal boyfriend would feed you chocolate like grapes in one of those ancient Greek paintings.

It was just an offhand remark you’d made at the bar one night in response to Rollins’s tipsy line of questioning about the perfect man. ADA Barba didn’t usually go out to socialize with the SVU squad, but he knew you were going to be there, so he went, too.

And not just any chocolate—no. Real, seventy-percent dark chocolate, single-origin beans. You preferred the fruity undertones of Madagascar cocoa, but were interested in exploring.

That was why Barba was carrying a box of expensive chocolate under his arm that night as he walked toward the 16th Precinct. He only agreed to participate in the SVU’s Secret Santa hoping he might get you, and was thrilled when he did. After a little trading. He knew Sonny would want Rollins, so it was easy to shuffle a few names around without making his own intentions obvious.

He bought a sampler box of fair-trade cocoas from around the world. The tag included a joke about feeding them to you, if you wanted. This year, Barba promised himself, he was going to admit his feelings for you.

Maybe it was foolish. You could have anyone. Why would you choose the cranky old lawyer? But he saw the approving way your eyes caught on him sometimes, when you didn’t think he was looking. The eternal pessimist in him said you just enjoyed his colorful ties, but it was enough to give him hope. The starved optimist whispered promises in his ear that this Christmas, he wouldn’t have to be alone.

Maybe this was the year he would fall asleep with a warm body tangled pleasantly around his as snow fell over the city.

That was what he was thinking about when it happened. The theoretical conversation with you distracted him from his surroundings, turning his cheeks pink from more than the early December chill. He didn’t hear the footsteps behind him until there was a sharp pain at the back of his head.

The box of chocolates slipped from his hands as he hit the ground, and rolled into the gutter. The flirtatious tag soaked with half-frozen slush until the ink blurred and ran.

***

When Barba didn’t make it to the Secret Santa exchange, you worried. But only a little. Olivia was sure he was just running late. Barba was always getting caught up with something or other, either being dragged into a meeting, or simply letting his social life slide in favor of working late.

When Liv’s call went to voicemail, you really started to worry. At least enough to call his office and find out he left for the night over an hour ago.

That nagging worry was confirmed the more you tried to find him, and turned into terror as it became an investigation. The ADA was missing. Security camera footage from a local bodega showed him being struck over the head with a bat and dragged into a van by three suspects.

One of them was identified as Jeremy Jones, a man whom Barba had tried to convict for a series of brutal rapes against closeted gay men. Ultimately, he was charged with manslaughter for the death of one of his victims. He served only half of a paltry six-year sentence and was released on good behavior that week. Apparently, Jones held a particular grudge against the openly bi prosecutor who tried to convict him of a hate crime. And he had made a few friends in prison.

The manhunt lasted three days, and the entire time you felt sick. Every hour—every minute—you didn’t find him was another minute god knows what was happening to Barba. If he was even still alive.

Only one of Jones’s victims had died, you tried to calm yourself. Of a heart attack. Barba was strong. But Jones wasn’t acting alone this time.

You felt sick.

After three days and a shootout with the NYPD, you found where Jones and his gang were hiding out.

You were the first one to discover the basement door, to kick it open.

You found Barba handcuffed to a bed, naked and beaten. His wrist was a horrible red-purple bruise where the metal dug in. His eyes were glassy and unfocused, though he seemed to be conscious. You radioed in for help and rushed to him, holding his head up, praying he was responsive. He yelped at the touch, recoiling from it. The cuffs rattled on the metal headboard.

“It’s OK. Shh. Rafael. It’s me,” you soothed, sitting at the corner of the bed beside him. “It’s the NYPD. We got them. You’re safe now. OK? They’re gone. The paramedics are already on the way.”

His eyes cleared, focused on you for just a moment. He seemed to recognize you—to understand what was happening. His mouth opened and almost made words, but only a dry rattle came out. His lips were swollen, and cracked with dehydration. Tears started rolling down his face, then. Dark, coppery dried blood covered the inside of his legs, pooled on the mattress, and bright red fresh blood streamed down over it.

He’d been missing for three days. Three whole days.

It was bad. He was in bad shape. You prayed the paramedics would get there soon. For the quick-witted prosecutor to be rendered unable to speak, his hair disheveled and plastered to his head with blood and fluids… For anyone to have done this to him… You tried to stay calm to help him be calm, but you were boiling over with rage and guilt.

It was your fault for not finding him sooner. For not being a better detective. For not worrying the second he was late.

Heavy footsteps pounded down the basement stairs and every muscle in his exhausted body went rigid. His free hand clung to you, nails digging into the skin of your palm.

“It’s just the paramedics.” You covered his hand with your own, squeezing. “They’re going to help you. I’ll be right here. You’re going to be OK, do you understand?”—his eyes were so blank and unfocused you weren’t sure that he did—“We found you, and… and you’re going to be OK now. We’re going to fix this.” Your voice was shaking.

It was a good thing the paramedics came in and took over before you started crying. The way his hand tightly held yours, not wanting to let go, wrenched your heart, and you needed to take a few minutes before you could be a detective again.

***

Barba was in the hospital for a week before being released. You went to see him, but were told he wasn’t taking visitors.

A week before Christmas, he reported to work.

A whole group from the 16th Precinct went down to 1 Hogan Place to welcome him back. He looked at home in his office, where he was supposed to be. His suit was as sharp (and loud) as ever. His hair was made without a strand out of place. You were relieved to see he was himself again. But his eyes were still haunted, and he flinched when Sonny knocked too loudly on the door frame.

He gave a weary smile, thanked everyone for their support, and sent everyone away except Liv.

Including you.

Your heart sank at the blow-off. You knew he’d weaseled half the precinct into trading Secret Santas until he got you. That had to mean you were special to him, the same way he was special to you.

Barba meant… more than you’d like to admit. It started so small you barely noticed it—that you were more inclined to go to events if Barba was also going. That you were always on his side during controversial cases, and even when you disagreed, you were more inclined to hear out his opinion than if he were anyone else. Then Rollins had a few tequila shots and started talking boys, and how the perfect man didn’t exist.

When you thought about the perfect man, only one person came to mind.

And you hadn’t had a chance to talk to him.

You knew he was going through something difficult, but that was why you wanted to be there for him. You wanted so badly to be part of his inner circle, like Liv—one of the people he leaned on instead of sending away.

You tried his office again the next day, by yourself. He avoided you, claiming he was busy with backlogged paperwork. The day after that, he legitimately wasn’t there—at the hospital for a follow-up—but never returned the message you left with Carmen.

On Christmas Eve, you tried again during lunch break. The lights were on in his office, but Carmen said he wasn’t there, sympathy in her eyes. He was there. You both knew it. He just didn’t want to see you. That night, you left him in peace. He would be spending Nochebuena with his mother, and you had plans of your own.

But on Christmas morning, you knew he wouldn’t be working all day. Neither were you.

You sent him a text and said you were coming over. He never responded, but an hour later, you knocked on his apartment door, anyway.

Footsteps slowly approached the door. A shadow fell over the peephole, and you grinned nervously, giving a little wave. The deadbolt slid open, then the door chain, and finally it opened to a tense lawyer, well dressed even on his day off in a cashmere sweater and chinos. Dark circles ringed his eyes from lack of sleep.

“Detective. H-hey. It’s not a good time. I’m… busy.” The flush in his cheeks rose, and he seemed eager to retreat back inside.

“You owe me a Christmas present!” you blurted out. It was juvenile. You knew the moment you opened your mouth it sounded like something a toddler would say, but at least it stopped him from closing the door on you.

He blinked. His chin tipped up just slightly in that haughty way that always preceded a cutting bit of sarcasm. “…Excuse me, I what?”

“It’s Christmas. You were my Secret Santa. So you owe me a gift.”

Realization dawned over him, along with the memory of everything that had happened the night he was meant to give you your present. His face fell.

“I… I’m sorry. I lost it.”

His eyes took on a dull, far away look, and you instantly regretted bringing it up. Of course that would be a painful memory. Fuck.

“It’s OK!” you took a step toward him, and he took one quickly back. Shit, you shouldn’t have done that, you scolded yourself. His face grew hotter, and he seemed humiliated with himself. “I-I mean… for the gift. All I want is to talk to you. For a minute. That would be plenty of a gift, if you could spare it. I just want to know how you’re doing.”

“I wish everyone would stop asking me that,” he snapped.

“Well, I haven’t had the chance yet. It feels like you’ve been avoiding me. I just wanted to know if… if we’re OK.”

He paused. He didn’t answer immediately, but his expression softened. “I… I haven’t been…” He sighed, and ran his fingers through his hair. His jaw kept working, lips reshaping themselves of the cusp of words, as if he were trying to continue, but couldn’t find the right ones. The words that would make sense, and explain everything—that would click together like a jigsaw puzzle and make everything better.

“I just thought that we were… friends. And… I was worried about you… And now I’m worried you’re pushing me away. I know we’re not as close as you and Olivia… but…” Your head hung low. “Did I do something wrong?”

Barba turned away. He wrapped a hand over his face, fingers shielding his eyes from you. “I know you were the one who found me,” he groaned miserably. “I didn’t want you to see me like that. You of all people… Because now you’ll never be able to look at me without part of you always seeing me… like that. Like a victim.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is, and you know it!” he snarled, surprising you with the sudden rise in volume.

He was seething, hurting, and you wanted to reassure him that you would never see him as less because of what was done to him. You laid a hand on his arm to comfort him, and he jerked away.

“Stop that! See? You’re doing it. Treating me like I’m… broken.” His whole body seemed to deflate, to shrink into itself. “It’s too late,” he croaked, a wistful smile cruelly turning the corner of his lip. “I’m never going to be whole in your eyes now.”

“Of course you are,” you said gently.

He gave a sharp, nasal huff. “Not like—ugh, never mind.”

“Not like what?”

His eyes met yours—green and turbulent as the ocean. There was a harrowed desperation in the creases of his forehead, the little wrinkles under his eyes deepening. “Like someone you could… Forget it!” He looked away, blinking rapidly.

“Barba… did you want to… Do you like…?”

You had a hopeful spark, an idea of what he was trying to say, what was bothering him, but you were afraid to say it and be proven wrong. You searched his face, inching closer. He looked horrified, like you were calling him out rather than hoping for it to be true—rifling through the sock drawer of his emotions.

No. You had to be the open one. He had too much to worry about already. You had to take the risk with your feelings.

“What I mean is… Please stop me if I’m out of line, but, Barba… no, Rafael… I like you. I’ve wanted to tell you for a while, but I kept hoping you’d say it first, in case I was imagining things and you didn’t feel the same way. Then you disappeared, and…” Your breath caught in a tightening throat. “I thought I’d lost you forever. When we found you alive… Whatever you think changed with how I see you, all I was thinking was how happy I was you were alive. And that I’d get another chance to tell you how much I care about you.” Tears were rolling down your cheeks by the end, drying your eyes on your sleeves to no avail.

He had turned completely toward you at some point during your confession, no longer half-hiding his face. Some of the remaining distance between you had disappeared, too. His hands softly came up to press your upper arms. Even through your puffy winter coat, you could feel how big and strong they were. His haunted green eyes searched you closely, looking for any sign you weren’t serious. That this wasn’t real. That maybe it was just pity. But you could swear there was a hint in them, too, of a stunned, timid sort of hope. 

You swallowed, meeting his deep gaze. “And I really want to kiss you now… if that would be alright.”

“I… I’d like that.”

Though he trembled slightly, his breathing was soft and steady as you leaned toward him. The kiss was gentle and easy, starting with foreheads touching, noses brushing against each other. Then lips, delicately ghosting over each other. His were still healing, tender where they were split. You let him close the final micron of distance, pressing the warm fullness of his lips against yours. His hand caressed the side of your face, and his thumb delicately brushed the hair at your temple.

“Can we go slow?” he breathed as he pulled away, though not far. He kept his hand on your face, the other about your waist. “I know I just said I’m not broken…”

“But you need time. I understand. Trust me.”

The corners of his eyes wrinkled in a melancholy smile as he stroked the side of your face longingly.

“I’m comfortable with whatever pace you want to set. Whether it’s holding hands, or… just talking. So long as I can keep spending time with you. I missed you. That’s all I need to be happy—just getting to be around my favorite counselor.”

He leaned in and kissed your forehead. “You know… you’re my favorite detective.”

“Oh yeah?” you challenged, grinning. “What about Liv?”

“She’s a lieutenant.”

“Ack! Got me on a technicality!”

“There’s no such thing as a technicality in law,” Barba smirked, playfully smug.

You snorted. Cheeky bastard.

“Can I kiss you again?”

“Rafael, you can kiss me as many times as you like.”

His mouth melded against yours more confidently this time. More insistent, and yet more vulnerable, a soft groan reverberating in his throat. Just once, his lips parted yours, and his tongue darted out, tasting the opening of your lips before retreating shyly back. You let him lead, and didn’t push for more. You meant it when you said just being near him, part of his world, was enough.

He invited you inside.

If this was to make up for your gift, he owed you more than just a minute of conversation, he said, smiling. For the rest of the day, Barba turned his tidy, tiny Manhattan flat into a cozy winter refuge, complete with hot cocoa (spiked with spiced rum, of course), warm throw blankets, and an endless marathon of holiday movies to watch while snuggling on the couch.

It was the best Christmas you could remember, especially when, before the sun had even begun to set, Barba fell asleep holding you. The worry lines carved into his face smoothed out as he breathed steadily. He looked so peaceful, you didn’t mind being trapped on the couch until he woke up.

Maybe, you thought, those dark circles could start to fade.

[whgmasterofceremonies]

Writeblr Hunger Games Round 15

Due to overwhelming support, Writeblr Hunger Games Round 15 will be happening! I am the New Master of Ceremonies (for one round), and I am asking you to give me your precious characters so I can throw them into a simulated Hunger Games! Here’s more info about the event:

Reminder of the Basics: Writers submit their original character(s) as potential tributes. Then I put them in the Brant Steele Hunger Games Simulator, which randomly tosses the tributes through gladiator-style events based on The Hunger Games, and I share the results until one survivor remains.

In the meantime, the writers can write and share stories about their characters being in the Games! I will be posting optional pre-Games prompts before the event happens. Please let me know if you would like to be tagged in the prompts!

You don’t have to be following to participate! I will be tagging all of the participants in all of the main posts. All posts will be made on this blog (@whgmasterofceremonies), for easy following or lurking. There is also a WHG Discord. Please let me know if you would like the link, and you can join and chat with other participants for fun and collaboration!

For this round: each writer who wants to participate can submit up to 3 original characters (from any WIP) they would like to see fight in the Arena. Everyone will get a shot, but if there are too many characters, I’ll have to cut a few, so put them in order of importance if you submit more than one. Please reblog this post only (don’t make reblog chains or reblog the inquiry post) or else send me (@concealeddarkness13) an ask/message with your characters’ information.

In the previous round of the WHG, characters from the same writeblrs were placed in the same district. I was wondering if you would be interested in doing that again. Please let me know!

When you submit your characters, please provide the following:

Name (full name AND optional shortened name; note that the simulator doesn’t like diacritics, but they’ll be in my posts)

Gender/pronouns (the simulator only recognizes M/F, but this information will be accurately represented in character lists and my glorious narration)

Preferred district (if you have a preference)

Any other information you’d like to divulge!

You can also use this interaction to let me know what you’d like to be tagged in or if you’d like the Discord link (or if you’d just like to be tagged and spectate)

Tentative schedule:

Tuesday, May 11: submissions open; send me the info

Monday, May 17: submissions close, and the Initial Reaping will be posted; if there are any errors, please let me know

May 17-24:  I’ll make several separate, reblog-able posts of writing prompts regarding the Games, asking what your characters would do during the reaping, training, etc. Encouraged but not mandatory!

Monday, May 24: Official Reaping posted; please don’t submit changes at this time

May 25 on: The Games begin!  I’ll post screenshots of the events of the Games, tagging all of the competitors along with anyone who says they want to spectate. Each post will have one “day” of events. I’ll post 1-2 “days” per day depending on the cast size and how long it’ll take. Each post will contain text transcripts of the screenshots. The winner gets bragging rights. Feel free to write about your characters during the Games.

After the Games, feel free to write post-Games content! Maybe your character(s) escaped from the arena in a fun, Capitol-defying way. Or maybe your character(s) join a heist with other characters. If you do write anything before, during, or after the Games, please tag me (@concealeddarkness13) and @whgmasterofceremonies to make sure I see it! I’ll reblog to the WHG blog but comment from my blog.

Tagging those who showed interest (this does not obligate you to participate, and I’m sorry if I miss anyone):

@pen-of-roses, @maple-writes, @memorymeter, @ratracechronicler, @myhusbandsasemni, @knmartinshouldbewriting, @aelenko, @gettingitwrite, @writeblrfantasy, @leave-her-a-tome, @mperialscribe, @ladywithalamp, @ninazeniks, @thistlebloomed, @the-unwrittenwriter, @madammuffins, @dreamwishing, @magic-is-something-we-create, @harps-for-days, @perringwrites, @beatlesandbards, @tragic-obsession, @writingonesdreams, @oopsimfade, @thoughts-of-nora, @incandescent-creativity, @gloriafrimpong, @chazzawrites, @writingmilkshake, @hillsthatdance-likeoceantides, @pluttskutt, and @forthesanityofsome!

[morsobaby]

Rraaahhh I'm sorry I never participate in these tag chains but I always appreciate being tagged, thank you both @magnuficentwo and @rustycottoncandy for always tagging me and thinking of me, also and everyone who ever does. I mostly just don't have the spoons for something like this but here!

Last song - Total eclipse of the heart by bonnie Tyler

Favorite color - oogh can't pick one. Yellow, red, many neons, brown, orange.. Black too, tho mostly in combos

Currently watching - i started Trolljegeren on Netflix these past few days! It's a movie but I've been taking it in chunks. That, and Dungeon meshi

Sweet/savory/spicy - mostly anything but spicy, I need a balance between sweet and savory but have a tendency towards sweet

Relationship status - Not my preferred topic of discussion tbh but I'm (fortunately) now single / nonpartnered

Current obsession - My ocs mostly! But that aside fish :)

Last Google - translator lol...

I'm not tagging anyone but I wanted to participate at least once, here you go

tagged by @argentinosaurus like a month ago but i always forget to do these things hehe

Last song: Una piba con la remera de Greenpeace

Favorite color: Magenta :) lime green also

Currently watching: Just started star trek with my friend to deal with better call saul withdrawals but idk if were gonna keep watching

Sweet/savoury/spicy: savoury

Relationship status: Single but ehhhhh eurmmm hm.

Current obsession: idk i think im being pretty normal about everything right now

Last thing googled: una piba con la remera de greenpeace <- wanted to check if greenpeace was written spaced out

tagging @cacaitos @harta @osidius-el-enfatico @realbugirl @melancholiaenthroned

[homesteadchronicles]

Hi there! I’m a new writeblr and i was just wondering if you had any advice for integrating myself into the community? I’m dreadfully awkward even online so I have no idea what I’m doing fbfbdbd so sorry to bother!!!

No need to be sorry - you’re one of us now! Helping the community is never a bother to me or to many others here. I’m happy to be of service, if I can!

There are plenty of methods to connect with others in the community! Here, let me list seven simple ways that have helped me personally (or that I know have helped others) - even if they be but a wee bit daunting:

1. Reblog and Comment on People’s Posts

This seems elementary, doesn’t it? I assure you, this has made me more friends on this site than anything else. Your first few weeks in the Writeblr Community will likely consist of you following every writer you can find and drifting aimlessly through the writeblr tag. Here’s my advice: whenever you see a post that catches your eye, click that reblog button and leave a reply. Not in the tags, not in the comments, but on the actual reblogged post itself.

Why do this? Because there’s no downside! No one looks at someone saying “wow, this character seems cool” or “ooh, this picture is so pretty” and goes: “...imma block this jerk”. Like, no. You know what they’re gonna do? Probably cry into their keyboard, thank the heavens above that someone took the time to notice them, and leave you a lovely thank you note in response.

It still baffles me how many people are shocked that I take the time to do this. You will never know what one act of kindness can do for you or for them. And the people that leave these kinds of love notes on my posts are the ones I’m more apt to reply to, follow, and reach out to in order to form a relationship with!

Not everyone will notice you. Not everyone will thank you. Not everyone will follow you. But plenty will - and even more will be impacted by your positivity! And people like me, and those I’m close with? We know who is making a difference in this community, and we champion those people.

2. Ask to Be Included on Tag Lists for WIPs

Now, you might be wondering how in the world you’ll find posts to respond to. Valid question! The easiest way I have found to do this, other than scouring a number of tags (#writeblr, #writing, #mywriting, etc.) for hours on end, is to ask to be included in a tag list. If you’re unfamiliar with the term, this means that the author will tag/mention you in every significant post related to this story/character/etc.

This saves my life. I don’t have time to search everywhere, so finding projects to follow and having them sent to my notifications instantly, is a blessing beyond compare. From there, you might find the names of other authors to connect with who could have WIPs of their own who you could also follow! Once you find one, you can find dozens more - it’s a chain reaction.

And if you need some ideas of what to be tagged in? My recommendations for where to get started would be: The LORE/SOLE series by @incandescent-creativity, The Dawnbringer by @ardawyn, and literally everything by @lady-redshield-writes. These three update consistently, interact with the community, and are just all-around lovely people with considerable followings.

3. Send Asks and Messages to People

Look at that, you’re already halfway there with this one! Now, you just need to take off that anonymous sign. Scary, I know. But it will make all the difference in the long run!

I’ve built relationships with certain people because they would send me asks on a consistent basis (back when I had the time to run weekly ask games). When I recognized their names, it endeared me to them, and I almost always wound up following and interacting with them. Some of them are my genuine friends now! 

Until you’ve built up a fanbase of your own, you can always interact with other people’s ask games. Tags like “#oc ask”, “#ask game”, or “writeblr ask” can be great sources for finding people to interact with! And, just like with the reblogs, there’s no downside. All you need to do is submit an ask with the appropriate info and BAM! Brownie points earned. Plus, if you take two seconds to look up their WIP’s title or the name of a character (even if you don’t know much about them), it’ll help them to feel like you value them and are making an effort to know them and the work they value so much.

4. Respond to “New Writeblr/Writeblr Intro” Posts

Have you ever made an introduction post so that others from the community knew you? If not, I’m sure you can imagine that you would like others to respond to that. No one wants to walk up to someone, introduce themselves, only for a chorus of crickets to replace any chance at conversation.

The good thing with these posts in particular are that they are all made by people in the exact same position as you! Yes, you’re all scared and timid and intimidated and not sure what you’re doing yet. That’s okay! They don’t bite. All they’re hoping for is to find other people they can relate with - and frankly, you’re in a better position to fulfill that hope than even I am!

5. Participate in Tag Games

Now, this one might seem odd. Don’t you need to be tagged to be part of a tag game? You would be correct! The thing is that plenty of people leave a fun little addendum to the end of their tag lists: “and anyone else who wants to be tagged”. That’s your golden ticket, my friend!

You could then post your response to the tag game, mentioning the author who tagged “anyone else” (that’s you!), and then mentioning other names of those you’ve followed or conversed with thus far! Just be aware of people who have requested not to be tagged in games or posts, but that number seems limited around writeblr (since most things require being tagged in to keep track of).

This is a simple way to engage with other people and post snippets of or thoughts about your own work without any pressure for people to respond! Trust me, there’s nothing wrong if someone doesn’t keep the game going - life’s just busy! But they’ll see your name. And, with any luck, they’ll remember it.

6. Find a Discord Community or Writing Group

This one might be more difficult for my fellow introverts, but it’s an option that can really pay off in the long run. There are a number of writing-centric Discord groups fluttering around that house authors and artists of every shape, size and style. If you’re tackling NaNoWriMo this year, there are a ton for that as well!

If you feel like jumping into a random community would be too much for you, you’re always welcome to join mine: The Homestead! We’re very low-key, and all take life at our own pace, so there’s no expectation for consistent interaction. But I’ve seen people continually encourage and uplift one another, which is beautiful to watch.

7. Ask People You Trust to Introduce You

What better way to find other people who are safe to connect with than asking someone you trust? If you’re submitting this ask, then I hope you have at least the tiniest bit of faith in me. If so, then allow me to recommend those members of our community who would be happy to get you acclimated and make new friends: @incandescent-creativity​, @ratracechronicler​, @paladin-andric​, @minas-writing​, @ardawyn​,  @feathered-quill​, @lady-redshield-writes​ and @noloumna​ are all lovely people who I’ve connected with on both a literary and personal level, and whom I trust would welcome you with open arms.

BONUS: I’ll Be Your Friend!

Look, if you’re all out of luck otherwise, you’ve come to a safe place. Reach out to me, if you’d like. We can talk on anon first, if you’d prefer, or keep it to my inbox for privacy’s sake. Or, heck, go crazy and just post on my stuff or tag me in yours! I am here to help make the community feel welcomed - and that includes making new members feel at home. My schedule is, admittedly, crazy, but I will always make time to meet you :)

Moral of the Story: Making friends means going the extra mile to prove to others that you think a relationship with them is worthwhile. An act of kindness and an outstretched hand will buy you more than any money or follower count or fancy writing project could.

[opsecretsanta2019]

FAQs (mobile-friendly)

This is a mobile-friendly copy of the FAQs page for easy reference, accurate as of 24 October 2019. For the most updated version, please check the FAQs page in browser or on desktop.

FAQs below the cut! Mobile-friendly rules here.

Where is the application form?

It’s linked in the rules page. Please read the rules before applying, thanks!

.

What is this?

It’s a one piece holiday gift exchange on tumblr!

.

When are the deadlines?

15 Nov – Applications close. 22 Nov – Santas assigned. 27 Nov – Santas confirm assignments. 25 Dec to 31 Dec – Post the gifts! 5 Jan 2020 – Tell me if you didn’t get your gift. 9 Jan 2020 – Backup santas notified. 31 Jan 2020 – Backup santa gifts posted!

The close of each day is 11:59pm HKT (GMT + 8h). Please note that my timezone is ahead of most countries.

.

How do I join?

To enter, you must read the rules and complete the application form linked on the rules page.

You must send in the application form before 15th NOVEMBER 2019 at 11:59pm HKT (GMT+8h).

If you apply, please commit to creating and giving a gift.

.

What’s this password thing you have in the application? What password?

If you don’t know the password, please read the entire rules page carefully from top to bottom. For easy reference, here’s a link to the rules and the mobile-friendly rules.

Applications with an incorrect password will be rejected during santa/ giftee assignments, even if applicants received the response email.

.

Oh no! I made a mistake in my application form/ I got the password wrong/ I left out something. What do I do?

You can edit your application anytime before applications close on 15 November 2019 (2359h HKT). You should have received a response email with the edit link.

.

I made a typo on my password. Will I be rejected/ do I need to edit my application?

Nah, that’s fine, I’m willing to accept typos. Your application will get denied if the answer clearly shows that you don’t know the password.

.

Who sees the information I put in my application?

The middle section with your preferences will be copy-pasted and sent word-for-word to your santa. Your santa will also get your tumblr URL/ username. If you addressed any comments to your santa in your miscellaneous comment section, I’ll pass those along too.

Only the mods will see your email and other details. For now, that’s only me (@codedredalert) and @narramin. Since the volume of work got overwhelming, I got her on board as a mod.

She’s a close friend I trust, and while I don’t think we’ll have anyone else joining us as a moderator, If you’re very concerned about other people finding out about your email address and other application details, maybe give this event a miss.

.

What do I have to do when I post my gift?

Mention the name of your giftee in the post (like this: @url). Also mention @opsecretsanta2019 in the post.

Tag #opsecretsanta2019 and any appropriate compulsory warning tags (#n/sfw, #graphic violence, #major character death, #noncon or dubcon, #underage , #chose not to use warnings , #no warnings apply).

Consider writing a nice message to the giftee to go along with the gift, if you like. 

If it is Not Safe For Work, please put it in a read-more and tag it appropriately.

Send me a link to your post! I will be re-blogging all gifts under #finished gifts.

.

How do you select Secret Santas?

I sort participants by naughty and nice into a SFW group and a NSFW group. After that, both groups are separately put through a random generator. Once giftees are drawn from the generator, I will manually check to make sure santas/ giftees share at least one mutual interest.

You should not be giving to the same person you’re receiving from.

What does it mean if I’m in the NSFW group?

If you choose NSFW, it means you are okay with making or receiving NSFW content AND are at least 21 years of age.

You do not have to create a NSFW gift if you don’t feel like it. You may or may not receive a NSFW gift.

.

Can I make/ receive NSFW?

To potentially receive or send NSFW material, you must be 21 years or older when applications close on 15 November 2019 2359h.

If you make something NSFW for your giftee, please put it under a read more and tag it appropriately. If your NSFW gift is/ could be flagged, please post it on another site and provide a link in a tumblr post.

.

Why must I be 21+ to receive/ give NSFW? I’m an adult in my country.

I don’t want drama/ legal issues about adults sending NSFW to minors. 21 is the highest age of majority as far as I’m aware, so that’s what I set it as to cover everyone. Sorry, kiddo.

.

I’m not 21+ yet but I will be by the time applications close. Can I still say I’m 21+?

Happy early birthday, I hope you have a great time! Please go ahead and put yourself on the NSFW list if you want. I’ll take the cut-off for age limit at the point where applications close aka 15 November 2019 2359h HKT.

.

What is considered NSFW?

NSFW components for the purposes of this event (loosely based on the R rating guidelines of the Motion Picture Association of America):

      (1) Violence: Canon-typical depictions of violence are generally SFW (eg. brawls, blood, stabbing). However, violence that is detailed, realistic, extreme or persistent would make a work NSFW.

       (2) Language/ Profanity / Swearing: Generally, swearing is SFW, but you’re encouraged to keep it mild. You have a maximum of one (1) singular “fuck” to give in a SFW work. Use it wisely. Excessive or extremely graphic swearing would make a work NSFW.

       (3) Drugs/ Substance Abuse:

       Canon-typical depiction of smoking is SFW (eg. chain smoking or smoking several cigarettes/cigars at once is SFW). However, smoking/ nicotine addiction that is detailed, realistic, extreme or persistent would make a work NSFW.

       Canon-typical drinking of large amounts of alcohol is SFW. However, alcoholism/ alcohol addiction that is detailed, realistic, extreme or persistent would make a work NSFW.

       Mention of drugs used in a medical context is SFW. Otherwise, any drug use or mention of drug use would make a work NSFW.

      (4) Nudity and sexual content:

       Nudity that is depicted visually (eg. art) is NSFW, regardless of whether it is sexual or not. Please post a censored/ partial preview of the art and link the full piece on another site. (Tumblr might flag it otherwise lol.)

       Non-visual nudity (eg. writing) is NSFW if it is sexually-oriented. Please ensure that it is under a read-more.

       All sexual content is NSFW regardless of medium.

       Hugs, kisses and cuddling are SFW.

.

Can I opt to be in the NSFW list, but still say I don’t want to receive/ create a certain type of NSFW (eg. specifically not sexual content, or drug abuse)?

Yup! Generally, giving more information in your application is better. It’s good to be clear and upfront about your likes and dislikes. It helps me a lot in deciding if I need to re-roll when I double-check your random match. It helps your santa know what not to give you too.

.

Is ____ pairing/ content/ gen allowed?

As long as they’re canon One Piece characters, yes. This event aims to be as inclusive as possible. Just make sure you tag appropriately.

.

Are OCs/ self-insert/ Y/N fic allowed?

Sorry, nope. I’m sure you and your OCs are lovely, however, this is a One Piece event, so please only feature canon One Piece characters.

You CAN sneak in a little extra cameo if you really want. Eg. a random person in the background/ a random shopkeeper in your fic. But the focus must be on canon One Piece characters.

.

I personally consider ____ content problematic. Will you allow it?

The compulsory warning tags (following those on Ao3) generally cover a wide range of potentially offensive content. Please be responsible for your own content regulation by blacklisting the necessary tags. I cannot be responsible for everyone’s content consumption.

.

I’m personally triggered by _____. Can you tag it?

Your personal triggers will already be accounted for in the application form and the information sent to your santa. So, this shouldn’t be a problem for your gift. Also, there are the compulsory warning tags for you to blacklist if necessary.

If you think there is still a very high chance that other people’s gifts will have your trigger, send me an ask off-anon proposing (1) a feasible identification system and (2) a tag name. We’ll see if we can work something out.

I promise to hear you out. However, I will exercise my discretion as to whether it is feasible for me to impose your request on every post on this blog. If your request requires a moral judgment or a lot of work on my part, I am less likely to impose your request.

It’s not possible for me to please everyone. I’ve done my best to cover the generally-accepted warnings. Thanks in advance for your understanding.

.

What kinds of gifts are allowed?

Anything digital as long as you personally created it for your giftee!

SUGGESTED minimum guidelines for different types of content are below (feel free to go above and beyond if your heart desires):

  –  Art – 1 artwork, sketches are okay as long as characters are recognisable

  – AMVs – 30 seconds. Please use only official art/ anime/ movies as your base.

  – Animations – 3 seconds, sketches are okay as long as characters are recognisable

  –  Animatics – 30 seconds, sketches are okay as long as characters are recognisable

  – Edits – 2 edits of good image quality. Please use only official art as your base.

  –  Fanfiction – 100 words (prose), 20 words (poetry)

  –  GIFsets – 2 gifs of good image quality. Please use only official art/ anime/ movies as your base.

  –  Music cover – 1 minute. Please cover only official One Piece songs/ motifs.

 –   Playlist –   10 songs. Please try to find out about your giftee’s music taste and cater to that if possible.

  –   Podfic/ audio reading –   You MUST get permission in writing from the fic author before making the recording. In your recording, you MUST clearly state the original author, the title of the original fic, and the website where the original fic can be found. In your post, you MUST give LINKED credit to both the original author AND the original fic.

.

Do I need to meet a minimum for my gift?

There are suggested minimum guidelines for different types of content, but there are no strict minimums. The gift creation for this event is intended to be very achievable, stress-free, and accessible even to first-time creators.

.

Do I have to follow a winter theme in the gift?

Nope. Anything goes! Just try to do something you think your giftee would like according to the information you were given.

.

Can I send something in the mail?

Sorry, please don’t. This exchange is digital-only.

.

Hey I'm a writer who uses Ao3. Is there an Ao3 collection for this event which I can add my gift to?

Yup, here’s the link to the opsecretsanta2019 Ao3 collection. Please feel free to add your fic(s) to the Ao3 collection during the posting period (aka 25 December 2019 to 31 December 2019). It would be good if you could drop me a message on tumblr when you do.

.

I don’t know what an Ao3 collection is/ how to submit works to an Ao3 collection/ how to specify gift recipients etc?

Here are the Ao3 Collections FAQs.

.

I’m not very good at art/ writing/ etc.

That’s okay! As long as you put your heart into it, you’re welcome aboard! 

.

I want to join but I’m shy/ intimidated generally/ by my giftee/ by everyone’s expectations.

Hey, it’s alright, we’re all nakama in the same anime pirate boat here to enjoy some holiday time. Just try your best and have fun!

.

I didn't receive my response email?

Ah, the automated emails have a daily limit, sorry. You can send me a message and I'll send you a copy manually. Thanks!

.

When and how will I get my Secret Santa assignment?

On or before 22 November, I will contact you via your tumblr blog. Please keep your askbox/ submit box open between 14 November 2019 and 23 November 2019.

If I can’t reach you on tumblr, I will use the email you provide in the application.

If you applied on time, but did not receive a giftee assignment, please contact me.

.

When should I send my gift to my Secret Santa?

Any time on or between 25 December 2019 and 31 December 2019.

.

Can I let my giftee know who I am?

Only once you post your gift. In other words, yes but not earlier than 25 December 2019.

.

Can I contact my giftee to clarify things about the gift?

Yes but you cannot reveal your identity before you post your gift (eg. use anon asks). If you can’t contact your giftee via tumblr, just do your best with the information you have.

.

What if my giftee doesn’t have anon asks on/ doesn’t respond?

If you can’t contact your giftee anonymously via tumblr, just do your best with the information you have. Most people wrote detailed applications, so this should be workable.

If giftees are feeling up to it, consider keeping anon asks open for the duration of this event so santas can make clarifications if they need to. It might mean that the gift turns out more to your personal taste.

.

Can the mods contact my giftee to ask things for me?

We’d love to but we can’t afford to take on the extra workload of being the go-between for everyone’s giftee questions.

You will get your giftee’s tumblr URL. Feel free to check out your giftee’s tumblr and see if they accept anon asks. Please respect their personal rules on interacting if you send asks.

.

Oops! Something has come up and I can’t participate!

If you have to drop out, please do it before 15 November 2019 if possible. I want to make sure every participant receives a gift.

If you have to drop out after 15 November 2019, please send me an ask. I will assign backup santas.

Please note that if you drop out or are deemed to have dropped out, you may or may not receive any gift.

Please note that if you don’t confirm participation by 27 November 2019, you are deemed to have dropped out.

.

Oh no, I missed the confirmation deadline (27 November 2019)! But I can confirm now though I’m late! Please please please will you still make sure I get a gift?

If you confirm late but before 15 December 2019, maybe, but at my discretion. If a replacement/ backup santa has already been assigned, likely no.

If you confirm on or after 15 December 2019, no. It’s up to luck whether you get one or not. May the odds be ever in your favour.

.

I don’t use tumblr much/ my tumblr is dead, but I will be contactable and post on tumblr for this event. Is that okay?

Yup! As long as you communicate and post according to the timelines, it’s okay.

.

How many mods are there?

Two. The older posts like this one use mostly “I”, since I started this event alone, but beacuse of the number of participants and the workload I got another person on board.

My art/ writing/ main is @codedredalert, and the second mod’s writing/ cursed/ main is @narramin.

.

Have you, the mods, ever run an event like this before?

Nope. I, Red, have participated in maybe two. Take that as you will.

Suggestions and advice from experienced people are welcome! I may not be able to use/ implement them in this event, but the learning is appreciated.

.

Are you, the mods, going to be participating as a giftee/ santa? I want a chance to get content from you/ give you things.

Awww thank you, that’s so sweet. Alas, I am just your humble mod. I’ll have my work cut out for me running the event and some major IRL things. Anyways, I'll be doing the matchups so I feel like I ought not to participate.

I’ll step in as a backup santa/ pinch hitter if necessary.

Since narramin leveled up from being a humble participant/ backup santa to moderator, she will be still participating, but due to her own request she won’t know her own santa. Needless to say, her santa will be randomised too. 

.

Will you read/ comment on all the gift works?

I would like to, but I don’t want to make promises unless I’m sure I can keep them. I,,,,, will try.

Currently, I’m considering reblogging with functional tags first and slowly going through to add the fun comment tags later. I think I could make that work.

I would be in a better position to talk about this after applications close and the matchups and drop-outs are finalised. Thanks for your understanding.

.

Is this event affiliated with _____?

Nope, it’s just us, alone, in this coffin-boat built from our own hubris.

.

I don’t like your bad jokes and your weird western pirate talk. Can you stop?

Does Zoro have a sense of direction?

.

The question I wanted to ask isn’t answered here?

Thank you so much for reading the questions before asking. Please feel free to send an ask to this blog or an email to opsecretsanta2019@gmail.com .

[vividfragments]

21 Questions!

I was going to take a break from this website but @surrealistwaltz tagged me for this 21 questions quiz, thank you!! This is gonna take me back to those 2005 Myspace days, these are fun.

Nicknames: My names Philip so a lot of family and even a few coworkers call me Philly which is nice, it's comforting and endearing. Also one of my friends mom called me Philomena and another friends Dad would call me Philbert which made me laugh. Also probably some bad ones lol.

Zodiac: I don't really put a lot of stock in zodiac signs but I'm a Leo

Height: I'm 6 feet or 1.82 (omg) meters tall.

Amount of sleep: I dunno what this is asking but I got like 4 hours last night?

Last movie I saw: I just recently watched deadman, its one of my favorites. It's kinda like an artsy, psychadellic, like, I dont wanna say western because that genre has an lot of tropes and cliches that this movie doesn't really have but it's set when industrialzation was starting to spread towards the west, more specifically to the film, the Pacific northwest of the US. It's a good movie to watch on a rainy, chilly night.

Last thing I googled: what 6 feet is in meters ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I suck at math.

Favorite musician: I'm taking this question as favorite single musician and I have lots but the first 2 that come to my head are Chopin and Klaus Flouride (one of my fav bassists)

Song stuck in my head: literally Voices Carry by 'Til Tuesday. I was in the market today and it was playing and I was singing it to myself, then I noticed a lot of people were doing the same and they were all different age groups and genders, it was cute. Damn that song is catchy... ~oooooooooh shush...

Other blogs: This is my only blog!

Do I get asks: Lol I actually haven't had an ask yet. Wish I did though, I can be fun sometimes.

Blogs following: I like following lots of different stuff. This is a place I like, try to expose myself to art, music, and other things that put my heart in a nice place. It can backfire sometimes though, whether its something that puts me into feelings or seeing people being stupid in comments or you know, the fact racist blogs can exist on here. I'm happy I made this though, it's been more positive than negative for sure.

Lucky numbers: 4, 33, and 44

What I'm wearing: I'm wearing some sort of cardigan like sweater that doesnt open up or have buttons and its burgundy (my fav color) with black jeans and socks tbh. Also my glasses.

Dream trip: Prague would be interesting, theres a lot of cool art and architecture there. I'm not religious or anything but I feel like visiting St. Peter's Square would be really surreal and kind of creepy? Going to a place like Australia or what @surrealistwaltz said, Greenland would be neat. I feel like those places could make you feel as though you're on a completely different planet.

Dream Job: I wanna teach history! Preferably high school, then if I cant stand how kids act I'll work my way up to the collegiate level. I wanna teach history because looking back at what we learn in schools here in America is watered down, especially when it comes to the bad that Americans have done and the negative impact its had on groups of parole and honestly, bug chunks of the globe.I believe there needs to be at least on teacher in a students k-12 scholastic career who calls out the borderline history revisonment that is being taught to kids so wrecklessly. The United States definitely needs to do what they do in Germany when it comes to teaching about atrocities committed in the past. Whomever is on the winning side of history should NOT MATTER. If theres a group of people that has been suppressed or continues to be suppressed, there needs to be at least ONE person who introduces the brutal hard truth of what happened. Here in the states you get the "I didn't participate in slavery or the genocide of Native Americans, it's not something I need to hear in detail" and it literally pisses me off, it misses the whole point of education. This fires me up, sorry.....

Favorite food: literally any type of pasta or noodles. It doesnt matter if it's in soup, if its Italian, Chinese, Japanese, vietnamese, if it has noodles and doesn't have meat then I'm so happy to just demolish whatever is in front of me. Also chips and salsa is refreshing and satisfying. I'm half Mexican so any type of Mexican food that doesn't use anything from animals is always a go to. My fav fruits are cherries, tangerines, and pears. My favorite veggies are asparagus, green beans, broccoli, and Brussels sprouts. I can make some v good Brussels sprouts.

Languages: ehh I speak pretty bad Spanish but the foundation is there so when I decide to take it back up when I go to a university, I should be able to learn a lot easier than I did in high school. If not because I have foundation and basic understanding of the language then its because I actually WANT to learn it as opposed to when I was a teenager. German would be really cool too because if I teach and I get upset I can just yell in German and people would think I'm actually insane and hopefully would cut out whatever nonsense they were doing.

Play any instruments: I play Bass off and on. I first got my bass when I was 12, I would just mess around until I was like 14, then I taught myself how to read bass tabs so if there was a song I really liked, I could look up the tablatures and teach myself how to play it and still do that. I wish I would've taken lessons though.

Favorite songs: I have a lot but I'll give a top 5 that I listen to regularly and/or have a special connection with:

Joe Lies by the Bouncing souls

Happy When it Rains by The Jesus and Mary Chain

Bad by U2

When You Sleep by My Bloody Valentine

Oh me, Oh my by Streetlight Manifesto

*bonus guilty pleasure* The One by Backstreet Boys

Random Fact: I can pop my knuckles by just clinching my fist tightly? Also I'm really into ceramics so if I have some clay, kiln, and some glaze I can make stuff on a pottery wheel or hand build it. Mmmmmm also I'm like, really into quoting spongebob. It's kind of gotten out of hand. Also I'm using this question to give a shoutout to my dog, ABBY I LOVE YOU!! I love my dog, she's a ham.

Describe your aesthetic: ...Artsy and rebellious dad... who's cool with you smoking weed as long as you keep your grades up.....

THAT WAS FUN AND MADE ME GENUINELY HAPPY THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME!!!!

Since I brought up Myspace I'm not tagging anyone, we're doing this the 2005 way. If you follow me and are bored or wanna talk PLEASE do this, I wanna read your answers :)

[unstable-reality]

RULES – Bold the statements that are true & tag 15 people.

Tagged by @estherlyon! I’m sorry it took so long!

APPEARANCE

I am over 5′5″ / I wear glasses/contacts / I have blond hair / I wear sweatshirts a lot / I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing / I have one or more piercings / I have at least one tattoo / I have blue eyes / I have dyed or highlighted my hair / I have gotten plastic surgery / I have or had braces / I sunburn easily / I have freckles / I paint my nails / I typically wear makeup / I don’t often smile / I am pleased with how I look / I prefer Nike to Adidas / I wear baseball hats backwards

HOBBIES AND TALENTS

I play a sport / I can play an instrument / I am artistic / I know more than one language* / I have won a trophy in some sort of competition / I can cook or bake without a recipe / I know how to swim / I enjoy writing / I can do origami / I prefer movies to TV shows / I can execute a perfect somersault / I enjoy singing / I could survive in the wild on my own/ I have read a new book series this year / I enjoy spending time with friends / I travel during school or work breaks / I can do a handstand

EXPERIENCES

I have had my first kiss / I have gotten drunk / I have told a crush I like them / I have traveled outside of the country / I have flown on an airplane / I have stayed awake for more than 48 hours / I have had a near-death experience / I have caught something on fire / I have performed in a talent show / I have shot a gun / I have been on TV / I have gone scuba diving / I have broken a bone / I have slow-danced / I have gone on a shopping spree

RELATIONSHIPS

I am in a relationship / I have been single for over a year / I have a crush / I have a best friend / I have known a friend for over ten years / I have a brother / I have dated my best friend / I am adopted / My crush has confessed to me / I have had a long-distance relationship / I am an only child / I give advice to my friends / I have made an online friend / I met up with someone I have met online

AESTHETICS

I have heard the ocean in a conk shell / I have watched the sun rise / I enjoy rainy days / I have slept under the stars / I meditate outside / The sound of chirping calms me / I enjoy the smell of the beach / I know what snow tastes like / I listen to music to fall asleep / I enjoy thunderstorms / I enjoy cloud watching / I have attended a bonfire/ I pay close attention to colors / I find mystery in the ocean / I enjoy hiking on nature paths / Autumn is my favorite season

MISCELLANEOUS

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle / I am the mom friend / I live by a certain quote / I like the smell of Sharpies / I am involved in extracurricular activities / I enjoy Mexican food / I can drive stick-shift / I have memorized an entire song in a day / I believe in true love / I dream up scenarios to fall asleep / I sing in the shower / I wish I lived in a video game / I have a canopy above my bed / I am multi-racial / I am a redhead / I own at least three dogs / I am LGBT

*I can comfortably read Spanish, but I struggle to speak it or hold a conversation in it (which I'm trying to fix, since there's a large Spanish-speaking population in my area). So I don't "know" it yet. It's a work in progress.

Annnnnd now I’m gonna do that thing where I...totally break the chain. I have no idea who to tag because pretty much everyone I think would be interested has already done it! In lieu, I extend the invitation to anyone who’d like to participate. :)

[gretch-graphics]

Probably the ONLY circumstance where I believe not only that this is fucking WRONG, I would go so far as to say if there is any kind of “herd immunity” of western male privilege there is NO reason why this woman should die. I mean, not that she doesn’t DESERVE not to die; that absolutely IS the case: but I believe if enough people in the direct chain of execution simply said “fuck you, fire me” she would live until after Biden’s inauguration.

If civil service rules are anything like military rules, every. single. one of those in “the chain” would be completely within legal parameters to refuse the order. Every. SINGLE. ONE. On the other hand, if the lame duck is successful, she will be the FIRST MURDER VICTIM of an ACTING PRESIDENT.

The selective cognitive dissonance; the sexist and racist and almost-physical manifestations of a blind spot; I’m just speechless. This should AT LEAST be as relevant and outraging as the systemic killing of Anyone Who Isn’t White (and usually male).

Or would it be kinder, more compassionate, more humane even, to just end her suffering? What is WRONG with people? What if this happened to YOUR daughter, mom, friend?

Trump exceeded the limit on being a PC Prez, a long time ago. This last year has actually frightened me, but not how you may think. Trump appears to be acting out his perpetual two-year-old toddler; the one that was never allowed to exist. Do I feel sorry for him? Not really; not anymore. As a child I might have been an advocate, but he has absolutely NO EXCUSE to act the primitive, sullen four-year-old. Boo-fucking-hoo. Move away and let the grown-ups take over. I’ll take Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, even Hillary Clinton ... Bob Dole, Mitt Romney, especially John McCain ... over THIS lunatic. Or, just take a random sampling of our country (or the planet, for that matter), weighted NOT by race, sex, wealth or age, but instead weighted by education, effectiveness (NOT performance), eco-friendly and woke i.e. did they actually bother to take the test, or do they prefer to skew results toward older people simply by abstaining? But I digress: even if this ragtag collection of random population managed to fuck up, it would STILL be better than witnessing this lame duck President insist on going out with a bang, AND a whimper. (apologies to T.S. Eliot and his descendants).

We would do a better job with both hands tied behind our backs.

Thanks for reading this far. It’s a shitty way to start a conversation, but none of us can afford to be timid anymore. I still haven’t figured out how to tag folks IN Facebook & Instagram even if I am not a member, but believe me I will figure it out if I love you. And if you know how to reach out in this way, please email me at gretch.graphics@att.net and save me a bit of trouble. Anything owned by Facebook is mud for me. (what the fuck did I DO???) So maybe there’s a browser plug-in...? A method to use TOR? No clue, but if Facebook and/or Instagram is/was/continues to be the only way you wish to keep in touch with me, then it was nice knowing ya. I’ve seen more disturbing crap on Facebook than ANYTHING I ever shared on my own Timeline. I can only surmise my account was hijacked down the road a piece, in the middle of a conversation I may have PARTICIPATED in but abandoned months or even years ago.

Oh, and BTW, e-mail has ALWAYS worked best for me and STILL DOES.

[spellsandpixiedust]

11 Mun Questions

tagged by: @gentlegiantingvar

tagging: no one...? because almost everyone’s been tagged already and I guess we’d just be tagging each other back and forth with new questions so I’m gonna be that arse who breaks the chain at this point - sorry

1. What drew you to Tumblr Roleplaying?

A few years ago, when roleplaying on tumblr was still possible without using xkit, I was posting a lot of gifs on my personal blog and this one beautiful rp blog reblogged absolutely everything I did with this one particular actor since he was their muse’s fc). I got curious, checked them out and fell in love with the gorgeous and twisted and gorgeously twisted writing. We talked. We plotted. That’s how it all started on tumblr. Thank you, Luna! You know I love you!

2. Did you RP somewhere else prior to Tumblr? Where else?

Of course. I’ve been roleplaying for sixteen years now. All started out with regular pen and scraps of paper during classes, then we swapped loose paper for small notebooks. It was all just dialogue we noted down (and crudely announcing action by letting the character comment said action - “I leave now” - horrible) and every character had their own colour. (Sharpies are your friends, you know that?) Apart from the only thing that kept me sane during my school career, I have rp-ed on designated roleplay pages, on ICQ (wow, I am THAT old), deviantART and Skype.

3. What is your favorite part of RPing?

That moment you read a reply for the very first time and it’s all like a new episode of your favourite show. All new and exciting and you just absorb every word hungry for more. This and plotting. Fuck, I love plotting and I indulge in some serious character development.

4. What is your least favorite part of RPing?

The fact that I have rarely time for it. Also OOC bitching. No one is better or worse because they write or don’t write a certain way, a specific style, a particular genre or what not. Please respect everyone if you want to be respected. Thank you.

5. Any former muses you miss writing?

Occasionally, yeah. I do miss writing the Master in the Doctor Who verse. Very rarely I miss Zagreus and Rassilon, too. But more like I miss certain interactions, certain relationships they had with others, not so much the muse per se. Rassilon and his daughter(s) was a wonderful angst-fest. Zagreus with most people was a wonderful psychotic, violent sass-fest. Oh, did I mention I’ve been writing villains non-stop for over ten years? Yep. That is exactly why I don’t crave playing my old muses much. I need some fresh air; hence the repenting dark magician.

6. What’s your favorite thing about your muse?

That he can create conflict in ANY situation. And without conflict, sorry, unpopular opinion, a roleplay is bound to whither and die. So if I think things need some spicing up, he’ll see to it. Perfectly in character, of course. 

7. Do you think that if you and your muse were to meet, you would get along?

Yeah, definitely. We’d talk music over a cup of coffee and have a way good time. Only main-muse I ever wrote that would probably not kill me. So... yay?

8. Is there any genre or setting of Roleplay that you cannot stand?

Slice of life? Yeah, that never seemed very captivating. Not for me anyway. Torture porn is also a no go. I mean, I can stomach a lot. Gore, violence - no problem. But people getting off to having their muse mutilated... eh... well, I’d rather not participate in that, thanks.

9. Do you ever reread threads? Which ones?

Of course. I reread threads regularly. Mostly the plot heavy ones with character development and an overarching story line. And smut threads. Because I’m an adult and I can appreciate the poetry of porn. Yes, those threads tend to be the most poetic and beautifully written threads for some reason. This is not a joke.

10. Is there any particular plot or dynamic which you haven’t yet had the chance to RP that you want to? What is it?

I’d love to have Liam interact with someone in his main verse whom he knows from his teenage years or preferably from when he was a petty criminal roaming the country. An ex-boyfriend, a copper, a bully, anyone that would give off real bad vibes upon a reunion (and Liam can hold a grudge forever). Maybe Liam is asked for help and he has to bring himself to cooperate. Or an old enemy challenges him once again? And definitely more young!Liam vs. authority threads. More young!Liam threads in general, really. Less cynical, but definitely not less trouble.

11. What are your favorite books?

Douglas Adams is my favourite author. Yep. This is going to be one of those underwhelming short answers: The entire Hitchhiker series by Douglas Adams. And the Dirk Gently novels, too. 

[gingerly-writing]

Writeblr Connects

@writeblrconnections See, I promised you I’d do this eventually :P

Are you interested in finding critique groups/partners? Always Are you interested in being a beta-reader? Can do when I’m free, depending on who wants me, book length, depth of wanted critique etc. Also, only if it’s reasonably well-polished: I’m not helping someone sort out their rough rough first draft. That’s the author’s job, not the beta’s! (Sorry, just had some bad past experiences with this one, though I do genuinely love betaing amazing stuff like @jamieanovels ‘ stuff). Are you open to being tagged in writing questionnaires/asks/games? Heck yeah Are you open to being messaged to talk about writing? Absolutely! Are you open to being tagged to participate in writing discussions? As long as I’m not being dragged into The Discourse™, sure thing Would you like to participate in Writeblr by Region? I can, but I live in the Uncool™ north of England (Yorkshire), so I’m not sure how many people would be interested Would you like to participate in the Translation Corner? Not sure I’ll be much help here, ngl.      If so, which languages would you like to be listed under? English, I guess, not sure that will be of any use though. I can handle highschool French, and know all the Latin basics plus enough to quote Plato at ya.

Short Profile: Preferred Nickname: Jess/Ginger Country/Region: UK/England Languages: English, a little French, enough Latin for Plato Preferred Writing Type: own novels, novel-length fic. I should branch out into short stories, but my brain doesn’t seem to understand the concept of ‘short’ :P Preferred Genre(s) to Write: fantasy, sci-fi,  Preferred Genre(s) to Read: fantasy, sci-fi, all that YA dystopia/post-apocolyptic nonsense, honestly anything with a little world building, enough suspension of disbelief to keep my brain occupied, and good characters. If you give me beautiful chains of fast plot twists that slot into place like puzzle pieces towards the end of the story, I might kiss you (or the book, if you’re not about that).

Favo(u)rite Books and Authors: ahahahaha, how long to you have? Books, by title (to save me typing out the authors here too): The Host (fight me), Three Dark Crowns, Palace of Treason, Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom, The Lies of Locke Lamora, the Gospel of Loki, the whole Chaos Walking series, the Martian, Cinder, I Am Number Four (the first few in the series, but mainly the first one), the Clockwork Angel series, Fangirl...I could go on Authors: Leigh Bardugo (I’m dying to read her Grisha trilogy atm), Patrick Ness, Philip Pullman, Rick Riordan...my mind’s gone blank, ahhhhhh. Honorary mention to half the fic writers I’ve ever read, you guys very often surpass published novels and authors with your skills Favo(u)rite Music Genre(s)/Artists(s): FOB, Panic! At the Disco, Lorde, Lady Gaga, a bizarre scattering across genres from Queen to Green Day and MCR to LMFAO, Lindsey Stirling and Ellie Goulding Favo(u)rite Fandoms:    Movies: STAR WARS, the Man from U.N.C.L.E, X-Men and the Avengers, the DC crew when they chill with the Discourse™ (though God himself can pry Under the Red Hood from my cold, dead hands).    TV Shows: YOUNG JUSTICE, Teen Titans (when it’s good, it’s so good, but when it’s bad...), the Flash (mainly for the Rogues...okay, entirely for the Rogues), Gotham is a fab TV show but I haven’t actually looked at any fic (the tag is a good kind of crazy though)    Anime:   Anime: Attack on Titan, I guess? I’m no weeb ;P    Comics: Mainly related to animated show adaptations, so YJ, Batman, that kind of thing. I feel the need to reference Under the Red Hood again, because all the DC animated films are works of goddamn art, but that one is the greatest thing I will ever see with my own two damn eyes.     Video Games: Not really my thing.  Hobbies/interests other than writing: reading (haha, hilarious, real subversive), golf, badminton, passing my exams

Extended Profile: Personality Zodiac Sign: Taurus —Does it match your personality? Honestly I don’t even now what the characteristics are supposed to be. I prefer the ‘you’re a lemon tree’ kind of tumblr nonsense MBTI Type: N/A since I’m actually an alien —Does it match your personality well? Do I have a personality if I’ve not done this test? Some of y’all...would seem to think otherwise, #js Introvert or Extrovert? Extrovert except for when certain individuals are annoying as fuck

Writing Habits Number/Names of WIPs: One being written currently: The Iron Flower, first book in The Flowers of War series. Numerous fics hanging around including MISFITS, but I’m focusing on original stuff right now. Favo(u)rite book about writing: Oddly, I don’t particularly like books on how to write, I tend to better by picking up how other authors do things well. Palace of Treason is a lesson in how to write a sequel (I didn’t even realise it was a sequel!) and Three Dark Crowns is a masterpiece in writing the descent into cruelty and madness. Books like The Lies of Locke Lamora and Six of Crows also motivate me to improve my plot twists, and set up brilliant chains of events that all come crashing down together.  Planner, Pantser or Plantser? Compared to some people, I don’t think anyone else is a planner. I’m trying my own form of planning for The Iron Flower, and so far it’s going brilliantly. It involved writing out the entire plot in scene form, and then jumping in with no prior worldbuilding or character stuff, which is letting me develop those aspects naturally without getting stuck on where to take the plot next. I think this is a method I might stick with! Favo(u)rite Outlining Method: as above, whoopsie! Do you write on a schedule or sporadically? 500 words a day for the whole of my current project, and because that’s reasonably easy to hit, it gets me writing while also letting me beat my target almost every day, which is a lovely buzz! Any creativity rituals that you use: I sit on the same sofa with my crappy old laptop, I guess. Does that count?

Your Writing Community Tumblr: @writingwritersgroup is my official squad, but I’ve made so many other friends through the general writblr community. I’m a member of the ScriptFamily too. Current writing/creative communities you participate in: Just tumblr NaNoWriMo Community Name (if applicable): sass-master-lucifer (*cringe*, I hate how you cam’t change it!) Wattpad Community Name (if applicable): N/A fanfiction.net or AO3 Community Name (if applicable): a-really-angry-sorceress on FF. I think I’ll keep my AO3 private. DeviantArt Community Name (if applicable): N/A Patreon Community Name (if applicable): N/A

So that’s me finally done! Woah, that took some time. Looking forward to Camp Nano in a group cabin, and everything we do beyond that. Shameless plug for my prompts if anyone is looking for inspiration/wants a challenge among the community! Happy writing xx

[atc74]

Do Wonders Never Cease?

I have said this before and I will continue to say it: YOU GUYS AMAZE ME!!

Back in September when I posted my first fic, I never EVER in a million years would have guessed I would be here today, with 1,000 of you wonderful, supportive, amazing followers. Your words of encouragement are what keep me going each and every day! Before I get to the fun stuff, I want to take the time to thank some of the people that have continually shown their support and encouragement, and most of all love. I know I am going to miss some, so I do apologize in advance. 

@iwantthedean @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms @ellen-reincarnated1967 @mamaredd123 @impala-dreamer @impalaimagining @chelsea072498 @paintrider13-blog @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @love-kittykat21 @spntrista @zeppo-in-a-trenchcoat.  I could go on and on!

So keep reading to learn more about my new challenge!!

This challenge has a bonus for you! YES YOU!

I have picked random song lyrics from my very random summer boatin’ & floatin’ playlist. You DO NOT have to use the song. The lyrics will be your prompt to use in the fic, whether it is a line of dialogue or an internal thought from your character.

1. You must be following me - this is a follower celebration after all.

2. Your fic can be any genre you choose. All I ask is no ships please, reader insert only, male or female. And PLEASE use the Keep Reading feature!

3. I prefer this be a stand alone fic (or start to a new series), but not part of an existing series.

4. Please include the tag #Angelina’s 1k in the first 5 tags.

5. Please send an ASK to participate, please include your number choice and a back up, just in case.

6. In light of the recent success of Smut Appreciation Day, I am asking you not to write a smut only fic (that will come later!). You may alude to or imply smut. Let’s stick with fluff, angst, crack, etc. 

7. DUE DATE WILL BE FRIDAY MAY 5TH! 

What’s the bonus you ask? Good question. I will make a custom aesthetic for each and every writer that enters and writes a fic for this challenge! You can choose whether it is for your fic or your banner or whatever! I will reach out to each of you for the details of your aesthetic once I receive your fic. (Please be patient with me, as they will take time)

**As an added bonus to ALL of my followers - I will be drawing random names and will also make a custom aesthetic for 5 followers!!**

So that being said, below are 30 sets of lyrics. But I am only taking 25 people for this challenge. Once the first 25 spots are gone I will no longer take any entries. (**In the event there is enough interest, I will take all 30**). Sign-ups will stay open until all prompts are gone.

Thank you so much to each and every follower that continues to show me (and others) love and support!

1. Last night she told me a story about free milk and a cow. (Keep Your Hands To Yourself – Georgia Satellites) @tankcupcakes

2. Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk. (My Own Worst Enemy – Lit) @faegal04

3. Well, I know it wasn't you who held me down. Heaven knows it wasn't you who set me free. So oftentimes it happens that we live our lives in chains That we never even know we have the key. (Already Gone - The Eagles)

4. On my own I’m only half of what I could be. I can’t do without you. (God Gave Me You - Blake Shelton) @jotink78

5. You always had an eye for things that glittered but I was far from being made of gold. (Just To See You Smile - Tim McGraw) @percussiongirl2017

6. Whenever this world is cruel to me I got you to help forgive. (You’re My Best Friend – Queen) @smoothdogsgirl

7. Your hands are rough, but they are where mine belong. (Ours – Taylor Swift) @ellen-reincarnated1967

8. I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinners are much more fun. (Only The Good Die Young – Billy Joel) @paintrider13-blog

9. It’s not that I didn’t have love in my life; I had a different love every night. It’s not that it didn’t feel good, it just didn’t feel right.  (Bring On the Angel - Sons of The Desert) @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms

10. All these years without any help, well guess what honey? Clothes just don’t just wash themselves. (Down in Mississippi (And Up To No Good) - Sugarland) @death2thevirgin

11. I miss your ginger hair and the way you like to dress. (Valerie – Jailbreak 2016)

12. I’ll do almost anything you want me to, but I can’t go for that. (I Can’t Go For That – Hall & Oates)

13. I am a man of constant sorrow; I’ve seen trouble all my days. (I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow – Soggy Bottom Boys)

14. If you call I will call I will answer and if you fall I‘ll pick you up. (Call & Answer – Barenaked Ladies)

15. Why did you paint the walls? Why did you clean the floor? Why did you plaster over the hole I punched in the door? (Old Apartment - Barenaked Ladies)

16. I'm crazy for loving you; crazy for thinking that my love could hold you. I'm crazy for trying and crazy for crying and I'm crazy for loving you. (Crazy - Patsy Cline) @just-another-busy-fangirl

17. I know it's late, I know you're weary. I know your plans don't include me. Still here we are, both of us lonely. (We’ve Got Tonight - Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band) @impala-dreamer

18. I can’t waste another minute after all that I’ve put in it. I’ve given you my best, why does she get the best of you? So the next time you find you wanna leave her bed for mine, why don’t you stay? (Stay - Sugarland) @teenage-internet-recluse

19. I've dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons Finally content with a past I regret I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness For once I'm at peace with myself. I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long I'm movin' on (I’m Moving On - Rascal Flatts - I know this is long so you can use parts of it. I just love it.)

20. You treat life like a picture But it's not a moment that's frozen in time It's not gonna wait Til you make up your mind, at all (Feels Like Today - Rascal Flatts)

21. Oh I wanna see you again But I'm stuck in colder weather. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Can I call you then? 'Cause I'm a ramblin' man I ain't ever gonna change I gotta gypsy soul And I was born for leavin' (Colder Weather - Zac Brown Band) @bcr36

22. When you look into my eyes And you see the crazy gypsy in my soul It always comes as a surprise When I feel my withered roots begin to grow (You’re My Home - Billy Joel) @impalaimagining

23. I haven't shown you everything a man can do. So stay with me baby. I've got plans for you (This Is The Time To Remember -  Billy Joel)

24. Holding you I held everything, for a moment wasn't I the king? But if I'd only known how the king would fall, hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all (The Dance - Garth Brooks) @little-red-83

25. I don’t care what consequences it brings, I’ve been a fool for lesser things.(The Longest Time - Billy Joel) @d-s-winchester

26.  I would go through all this pain; Take a bullet straight through my brain.  Yes, I would die for ya baby, But you won't do the same (Grenade - Bruno Mars)

27.  How can I just let you walk away? Just let you leave without a trace? When I stand here taking every breath with you, [ooh ooh] You're the only one who really knew me at all. (Against All Odds - Phil Collins) @mysteriouslyme81

28.  I was fine before you walked into my life. 'Cause you know it's over, before it began. Keep your drink just give me the money. It's just you and your hand tonight. (U + UR Hand - P!nk)

29.  You can say we’re done the way you always do. It’s easier to lie to me than to yourself. Forget about your friends, you know they’re gonna say We’re bad for each other, but we ain’t good for anyone else. (Come Over - Kenny Chesney) @iwantthedean

30.  So this is me swallowing my pride. Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night. (Back to December - Taylor Swift) @chelsea072498

[jillmckenzie1]

We All Suck at Dating

A common lead question in the world of online dating is: “What are you looking for?”

Aside from being a grammatical nightmare, this question poses its own set of anxiety-ridden answers. Because how hard in the paint do you really go in response to this question when you’re on the third line of a burgeoning digital transaction? The words that your thumbs manage to string together will inevitably become the foundation for any further communication (or lack thereof).

Sidebar. Dude, didn’t you read my bio? It clearly states, “Looking for a real life human with whom to do rad things. Sucker for good teeth, nice calves, and witty banter. Here for the shirtless gym selfies (you guys, it’s a joke).” Seems pretty self-explanatory to me.

My typical response to the aforementioned question goes something like this: “Surely not looking to get laid off an app. And absolutely not interested in receiving dick pics. Would be great to find a real-life male with whom to do cool shit who also believes in hand-holding, ass-grabbing, Netflix binge-watching, and tag-team Whole Foods shopping.”

Once upon a time, I had a younger guy respond to this answer: “But does our age difference bother you?”

Cough. Cough. He clearly wasn’t aware of my subconscious bias towards younger men.

I replied, “Age is a number. Maturity is a barometer for compatibility. Why? Were you simply trying to send dick pics?”

*unmatch*

I’m sorry, WUT?! Respectable people say goodbye, or they’re not interested, or that they don’t find my humor to be as amusing as I do; they do not just act like [insert desired superlative here] and vanish into thin air (as if I wrote the book on this stuff or something).

Here’s the point. By all means, unmatch me. I don’t give any number of fucks about our premature termination of conversation. The guy I choose is going to choose me in return. He’s going to laugh at the fact that I attempt to turn him on by mentioning that I always return my shopping carts. He’s going to send me memes and screenshots of tiny houses. He’s going to share my affinity towards Mexican food and ask me for my LinkedIn profile instead of my SnapChat handle, and he’ll really mean it when he says that he’s not in search of a booty call.

At the end of the day, I have zero interest in entertaining a guilt-free ghoster. The issue here is the action. Because dammit, it’s hard enough out there. Can’t we all just play by some unstated rules that, at the very least, are governed by the premise of honesty?

I know. It’s asking a lot.

 But that brings me to my next point. About dating. We all suck at it. Yes, all of us. I’m actually quite amazed by how many of us seek to individually claim this title from every rooftop, blog post, and digital message warehouse. At the risk of sounding arrogant, I just don’t think there’s anything unique about it.

We. All. Suck.

A small bit of evidence exists in our mutual affection towards Netflix and chill. I’ve seen enough dating profiles in these last few years to make one overarching and absolutely assertive statement: when given the choice, we’ll all opt for a night spent on the couch in sweatpants eating ice cream with our dog over any nightclub and party scenario. Seriously, I have yet to encounter any male in the digital stratosphere who prefers the latter.

Because, in my humble opinion, no one wants to find his or her significant other in a bar. Absolutely not. For some, sure, the bar provides a perfect backdrop for the infamous one-night stand; I’m quasi-drunk and you’re quasi-cute (could be up for debate in the morning), so in the words of Marvin Gaye, “Let’s get it on.”

But a match–someone who challenges us and makes our lives a whole hell of a lot better (even on the worst days)–yeah, we’re not walking into any bars with the expectation of finding a soulmate.

And, despite our current aversion to commitment that is fueled by our unrelenting fear of missing out alongside our limitless access to infinite information and individuals, we do want a soulmate. Not because we believe in this antiquated ideology that only one person was made for us. No, millennials don’t walk into this world with the Shakespearian belief that compatibility is reserved for a single Romeo and his Juliet.

We more appropriately approach the definition of “soulmates” as two people who show up to participate in a revolutionized companionship. We are a generation that fully understands the power of choice, and we want to exercise this right romantically as much as we want to frequent farmer’s markets in lieu of spending our dollars at chain grocery stores. We believe in making ourselves whole, as individuals, in order to more powerfully stand beside someone who is doing the same. So, we choose ourselves as the catalyst to choose our other.

And yet, even inside of this space of a beautiful and raw and authentic desire to find a forever partner-in-crime, we’re still ghosting and we’re still sending dick pics. I’m sorry, rescind. We’re still sending dick videos. Yes, apparently, I graduated into some upper echelon of male debauchery.

Let me expand. A guy who I sparingly chatted with months ago decided to Snap me one lonely night in February (if you don’t know what “Snapping” is, keep it that way). I opened the video (which is the extent of my SnapChat proficiencies), and bam, hello, hi. My brain immediately hit overdrive as I considered throwing my phone 23 feet across the entirety of my Airstream.

I’m sorry, I haven’t spoken to you since November – neither did any previous conversation incite such ridiculous swapping of privates – and I’m now supposed to be the proud recipient of your amateur x-rated video?! Please, no. PLEASE NO.

Of course, I fired back something saucy (as if I’m going to save the world one indecent digital exposure at a time). And in the spirit of true chivalry (insert massive eyeroll here), he said that it was a mistake: “Wrong Stephanie.”

I actually can’t even (read: bull-fucking-shit).

But my potential diatribe inside an app that was literally designed to delete user history wouldn’t be saving anyone. My only hope at such a stage is the block feature because, at the end of the day, I simply don’t have time for this nonsense. Much like I don’t have time for the old flame (think college) who thought it was cute to slide into my DMs with questions about the kind of underwear I happened to be wearing. Or, the fact that exhibit B continues to patronize me with pet names (even after we established, months ago, that a romantic relationship between us would simply be settling).

Newsflash: y’all aren’t cute. YOU ALL ARE NOT CUTE.

And around we go, hiding behind our phone screens because we want the one (or at least one of the viable ones) to drop into our lives with the same level of excitement experienced by teenagers across America when Usher finally released his third studio album, 8701.

If you ask me, the going around is getting quite old. In fact, my motion sickness is at an all-time high. In the metaphor, I’m projectile vomiting out the back passenger-side window. Don’t ask me who’s driving. I don’t know.

What I do know is that I’m not puking alone.

Fact one. We’re drowning in our individual and collective nausea without any idea of how to stop the damn car. Or, at very least, slow it down. And we sure as hell don’t know where it’s going.

Fact two. Together, we are more powerful than the driver. But I’m not sure if we believe that (yet), and if we do believe it, I’m not sure that we know how to take control of the wheel (yet).

Because I would hate for us to resign ourselves to the fact that this whole dating thing is out of our control. I would hate for our desire of depth to become clouded by our habitual superficiality. I would hate for us to throw away our integrity in the name of conformity.

And I write this to us because I write this to myself. Plot twist, people. I, too, suck at dating. My judgment of those without an inkling of digital wit is embarrassingly high. It is standard issue for me to ghost anyone who resorts to asking me about my day within the first 24 hours of communication.

We just met. It’s fine. My day was fine. Am I supposed to tell you what I ate for lunch? Or about the conversation that I had with my mom? Or the hours I spent browsing Amazon for a new duvet cover?

Seriously, ask me anything else. And, please, I beg you, be funny. And charming (but not too charming). Our future depends on it.

Case in point. In a land far, far away, some guy asked me if I’d ever seen a movie titled La Strada. Clearly, not English. My answer was (and still is) no.

He wrote, “It’s foreign, so you have to be okay with subtitles.”

Well, no shit.

Me: “Great, I learned to read at a young age and quickly surpassed all of my peers, so this is promising.”

*crosses fingers and begs for a witty response*

His reply: “I like that answer. I need someone confident in what sets them apart.”

No dice.

*waves white flag*

I surrender. I absolutely surrender.

And by “surrender,” I mean that I simply fell off the face of the planet, never to associate with this poor guy (who probably had zero interest in sending a dick pic, let alone a dick video) ever again.

I just didn’t have it in me to push through in hopes of unearthing my very own Steve Carrell.

I’ll give you ten minutes. Make ‘em count. Effortlessly get me to laugh out loud, and I’ll strongly consider fraternizing as real-life people.

Hold up. Real. Life. People.

Yes, let’s be very clear, any digital union that transpires in human-to-human interaction is call for a good old-fashioned golf clap. Because it’s an anomaly by anyone’s standards.

So here we are. Together. Meandering through the airwaves and the land mines. Motion sick beyond measure. And I’d like to believe that we’re not helpless here, so my challenge is that we take control of the car. My challenge is that we align our actions and our words. Because there is nothing sexier than honesty. And honesty–honesty will save us. Also, humor. But mostly honesty.

We must be able to articulate for who or what we are looking. It is a common lead question because it is the question. It provides the foundation for action and expectation so, to revisit my initial commentary, we should go as hard in the paint as humanly possible (think Zion Williamson type shenanigans) in our responses. Because this answer allows us to proceed in a space where vulnerability is safe–whether we both swiped right in a sea of digital profiles or, quite literally, ran into each other in the singles line of our favorite chairlift.

You do not have to be in the search for serious. But you do owe the community your truth. The power is in your voice. And please, for the love of all things beautiful, let’s commit to considerate farewells that make “ghosting” so 2018 (as in, bye).

Speaking of bye and the singles line and chairlifts, I had to text my ex-boyfriend the other day to get back my second key fob for the entrance to my RV park

I refuse to pay the $20 for a replacement, okay. Judge me.

It had been nearly a month of not communicating, so you can surmise that it was a conversation that I’d been consciously avoiding. To be honest, I had stubbornly supported the idea that he should contact me first.

Obviously, unsuccessful.

So I spent hours typing and re-typing and then re-re-typing some ridiculous message that started with a Nugget update and ended with, “Oh yea, I need that key fob back.” I then spent hours deciphering and re-deciphering and then re-re-deciphering his response: “No problem. I’ll bring it to work and you can swing by one day and grab it when you’re done riding.” Please note, there is nothing cryptic here.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little bit nervous to, once again, look our honesty in the eye. Our ease had existed in our shared interest of doing the work. We had used our voices. And we both believed in the power of a considerate farewell. Also, laughing, there was lots of laughing.

For all intents and purposes, we were great. Apparently, our timing was not.

I’m reminding myself that, at the very least, this relationship taught me that there is hope for our collective whole to be better. It was the catalyst for me to shed an intense layer of distasteful cynicism. And for that, I can willingly embrace the uncomfortable.

It’s just two minutes. It’s just a key fob.

 Dating. It’s still a game of numbers. And we simply need to, in all of our honesty, keep showing up.

Together, we can stop the suck.

from Blog https://ondenver.com/we-all-suck-at-dating/

[johnthewriter-blog]

Interviews with Sandra

Interviews about Sandra

He’s always wearing a smile.

Apparently, girls like that. The drawl in his voice helps too.

I can’t stand it, and I want to smack him, and wipe that self-assured look off his face.

Instead, I sit and ask my questions, while he looks at me from underneath the brim of his fitted baseball cap.

"Sandra?"

I grit my teeth, "Yes, Sandra."

"She doesn’t flirt."

I wait.

"Are we done?"

‘That’s it?"

"What else is there to say? She said it herself, looked right at me and said it; ‘I don’t flirt.’"

This is going to take a while.

My best friend, Andrew is a popular guy. Everyone loves him. Young and old, guys and girls, they all want to be his friend, and ‘chill’ with him.

He’s cut his hair, and his head looks naked without the usual locks, but the blue eyes that have broken so many hearts are as piercing as ever.

"Never heard of her."

He laughs at the outraged confusion on my face.

"What do you mean you never heard of her? She went to our high school!"

"You’re gonna have to be more specific…"

"‘Nice’ Sandra?"

"Lots of girls are nice."

I scowl, and he laughs again.

"Seriously."

He shrugs, "No, I’m serious. More specific."

I don’t know what to say in order to avoid risking his memories or ideas of her, so I try to establish a point in time, "She was in the fashion show with us?"

"Uh…"

"Super hot."

"That’s a step backwards! I know LOTS of su-"

"Lightskin? Pretty eyes? Nice hair?"

"Nooope."

 A light goes on, and a grin springs to his mind, "Oooooooh, Sandra! Yes!"

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"What about her?"

"I don’t know, this is your inter-"

He laughs again, reaching across the bench for his weed, and grimace.

"No worries man, I’m downwind from you."

I look at him, and the grin grows even wider.

"She was cool. And she was nice-"

He gestures with the blunt, emphasizing each word, "Metaphorically aaaaaand literally!"

He winks.

Tyrell smokes weed too.

"She’s mean dawg."

He takes a drag, and so I wait.

"A dime… She’s a dime aight, but maaaaaan, she’s mean."

Lily is always all smiles, "I lurve Sandra! I haven’t seen her in so long…"

"Can you describe the first you met her?"

I haven’t seen her in a while, and using this interview as an excuse to meet her is a welcome one. Always smiling, she’s a light for anyone who meets and has the luck to know her.

I take another chocolate chip cookie.

They’re warm and sticky. I’m positive when I told her I was coming she made them right away. She’s like that.

"No, sorry John-but the one time we really met and hung out was during that fashion shows. She’s nice. I should call her! Does she have Facebook?"

I shake my head, still chewing.

"Oooooh, that’s sad… I’d like to talk to her again; during the show we got to be such good friends. We helped each other into our outfits!"

"She doesn’t do the whole social networking thing-she’s kinda private like that."

"Have you ever noticed how really really pretty girls never do?"

"That’s true."

"She’s definitely a model-is that what she doing?"

"Nope, she’s in university, with me."

"What’s she studying?"

I shrug, "I don’t even know. I don’t even think she knows…"

I take another cookie, and Lily gets up headed to the fridge, "She’s doing psychology and human resources, but she doesn’t love it-she doesn’t like the reading and the material isn’t that engaging."

As Lily hands me a Coke, there’s genuine sadness on her face, "That’s sad, everyone should be studying something that makes their heart race! That lifts them up!"

"Fills their dreams?"

"Yeah!"

As I open the Coke, it’s as if the release signals an epiphany in me; I’ve lost control of this interview.

Now I’m smiling.

"I think we’re done talking about Sandra, Lily. I can give you her number, and maybe you guys can catch up."

That smile again; Lily is the best.

"I’d love that!"

I nod, sipping.

"What about you Lily? How’re you doing?"

Dominic doesn’t smoke weed.

I don’t think he’s in college, and I’m pretty confident he doesn’t work either, unless one counts being a DJ at the house-parties his richer friends throw for beer and a share of the beer money working. I have to admit though, whether or not its work, it is definitely working for him. A new leather jack stretches across his belly, and a chain hangs beneath his chins.

"She’s a nice girl. Which is rare for the pretty ones, right?"

I shrug, not wanting to influence what he says.

"I remember one time a friend of hers wanted to ask out this dweeb on Valentines."

I look at him.

"I know, I know-nobody says dweeb anymore, nerds are ‘cool’ now-"

He actually does the air quotations.

"-but’s that what this guy was. Still is. Anyways, her bestie wants to ask out this guy, and Sandra’s like, ‘Nuh-uh. Unh-uh, no way…’, but her friend’s heart is set on asking this kid out. I sat at their table in Grade 8, so I tagged along."

His parents come in, and we move the interview outside, in front of his house. With our feet hanging off the porch, I appreciate how warm it is this late in the year.

"Cold’s going to come fast," Dominic grunts.

I shrug, "Sandra? Valentine’s Day Dance?"

"Yeah, so the three of us go to the dance-not that we had a choice, teachers set it up, we particip-"

I wave a hand dismissively, "Right, right, down with authority, yadda yadda-Sandra?"

He laughs, and thinks a moment, "The kid was sitting at the back wall, alone, not dancing or anything-just staring at his shoes."

He imitates the pose, turning in his toes and staring at the ground intently. The, he looks at me.

"A total dweeb."

I nod, "And so…"

"Sandra’s with the friend, and tells the dweeb she wants to ask him out, and I see him shake his head… I dunno if he was just scared, surprised or distracted by Sandra…"

Now he starts grinning, laughing even as he remembers, "Because even back then, Sandra was still one of the hottest chicks in school. And her friend was chopped!"

He makes a downward hand motion.

"Poor guy was probably confused. Anyways, Sandra tells the guy it’s fine, and leaves him there, taking her friend with her."

"What’s particularly nice about the story?"

"Lots of stuff! Mainly, she doesn’t claw his eyes out and she supports her friend all the way through."

I look at him, and he winces.

"It’s the best I got man."

"Thanks."

"Are you two going out?"

"Nah man, she’s got a man. A big black dude-but even if she weren’t, I’m pretty sure our friendship is based on the fact I’m not gonna start buggin’ her."

He nods knowingly, "Yeaaaaaah, man. Guys go after her hard-"

He raises a hand, as if surrendering.

"-she shut me down too. Being in such ‘high demand’-"

He makes the air quotations again.

"-probably gets old after a while… It must be refreshing to know a dude who doesn’t just want to hump her leg."

I grimace.

"I’ll tell her you said, "Hey," Dominic."

"Cool, you should go ask Tinesha about her… She’ll get you some perspective."

Tinesha couldn’t see me without her friends.

They all look alike with the same sneers and way of looking down at me, and before the interview has even started I want to leave. Flanked by her friends, Tinesha looks at me as if I wasn’t even there, and I wonder if she even realizes I’m ready to sta-

"Is that Brian?"

I patiently wait as the three of them debate whether or not the figure who’d walked through the food court behind me had been Brian. Tinesha sees me looking at my watch, and her sneer, if anything, intensifies.

"So, what do you want again?"

"I’m doing interviews for a university assignment."

I spend another two minutes explaining what UTM is like and what the course is, and at the end of the explanation, I’m confident they still don’t get it.

"So, you need to do an interview about an interesting person?"

Whoa, could I be wro-

"Why are you doing an interview about Sandra then? She’s a slu-"

I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

"You should interview me!"

"Yeah," says the friend on the left, looking at me from underneath heavy lids covered in cheap blue gunk, "Why don’t you do it on one of us?"

"I’ve already done a bunch about Sandra-it’s too late to change now."

They look at one another, and my stomach continues its rapid sink toward my feet.

"She stole my man…"

"…she tried to steal my man…"

"…her man wasn’t even that cute either."

The sneers and rolling eyes and the chewing gum beneath the stale weaves and cracked nails blend into a single three-headed beast.

"Thanks! I’ve got everything I’ll need!"

Twisted smiles greet by dismissal, "Great! You can put us in the interview by name you know…"

"… and ‘Mercedes’ has two S’s!"

"…call me later, okay?"

It isn’t the most dignified retreat in history, and I think they may have been laughing at me as I fled, but even that embarrassment was far more preferable to the discomfort.

Frizzy haired and pasty faced, I didn’t want to interview this asshole either.

But I like to be thorough.

"Didn’t she have her sweat glands removed so she wouldn’t sweat?"

If it was physically possible to sprain an eyebrow…

"No. And wasn’t that a Beyonce rumor?"

He sips his Starbucks coffee through a straw, looking at me through his black rimmed scholar’s glasses. As I notice his glasses don’t even lenses, he shrugs.

"Aren’t all black chicks the same anyways?"

I think about Tinesha and her friends, and inwardly shudder.

I could have left this until tomorrow.

"She is sooo pretty, John."

I shrug, listening and writing.

"She could be a model! With that smile, and her amazing hair!"

Natalie wasn’t a scheduled interview, but on the GO Bus, there isn’t much to do.

"So, how are your interviews going?"

"Pretty well, I think."

"Shouldn’t you interview her?"

"I could… But that would be easy…"

I rub the fog off the window pane, and point at Square One as it streaks by.

"But now you can’t get the ‘real story’!"

"There is no story-if I’d asked her for an interview, I would have gotten textbook, wish-washed answers that would have been useless. So, I figure people like to talk about other people, so I told her I’d interview them."

"Are you going to show it to her?"

My smile twists, becoming a grimace as I think.

"Parts of it."

"I don’t understand."

"Using a bunch of people, my interviews show an impression of a person, rather than a person’s presented subject-"

"That’s not what I meant," she frowns, rolling her eyes.

I roll my eyes back and sigh.

"Some of the interviews weren’t so nice…"

"What’d they say?"

"Mostly the usual rumors that go with anybody who’s pretty; she’s easy. She steals boyfriends from their girlfriends. She’s into girls-"

Natalie frowns, "What’s wrong wit-"

"Nothing, it’s just the assumption based on ignorant and malignance."

"What else?"

"You know Phillip?"

"That weird guy?"

"Yeah, he was talking about how they went out…"

"But girls can’t staaaaaand him…"

I shrug again.

"Worst though, she didn’t even live here when he was telling me the story."

"So, he lied?"

Her eyebrows shoot up into her hairline.

"Yeah. Though I don’t know if it was to spite me…"

"She’s turned down a lot of guys…"

"…or her, thinking I’d publish the interview and expose the ‘nasty details’ as he described them."

"You’ve got a lot of editing to do."

I nod, reaching for my vibrating cellphone.

It’s Sandra, asking for help on an essay.

Grim-faced, remembering other times I’d worked on projects with her, I text back, prepared for some grueling work.