#sorry if I forgot anyone ! brain is still foggy

[monsterrae1]

I was tagged by @katries to spell out my url with songs so here I am giving it a try

M ake you feel my love - Adele

O ut of love - Alessia Cara

N ever not - Lauv

S ave me - Hanson

T urn back time - Daniel Schulz

E xile (feat Bon Iver) - Taylor Swift

R emembering sunday - All time low

R enegade - Big Red Machine, Taylor Swift

A ugust- Taylor Swift

E lephant- Freya Ridings

1 950 - King Princess

Tagging if they wanna do this!

@peaceofficerdiaz @loveyourownsmiilee @the-likesofus @spotsandsocks @bekkachaos @swiftiediaz @rogerzsteven @jacksadventuresinwriting @lostinabuddiehaze @buddierights @prettyboybuckley @dickley-buddie @eddiediazisascorpio @daughterofbuddie @elvensorceress

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

the taste

buttercup, chapter four

a/n: the smutty smut has arrived, folks!

summary: “look, all I’m saying is that he likes you, a lot. He’s never let himself be with anyone like you, anyone who truly made him happy, anyone he actually had a fighting chance of getting a stable and healthy relationship out of.”

warnings: matt murdock x baker!reader, smut, neighbours to lovers, rape recovery, ptsd, kissing, over the clothes fun, dry humping, fingering, dirty talk

word count: 2419

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It had been the end of June when your parents passed. You didn’t recall much from that summer, most of your memories had just kind of faded away as the brain occasionally does when it’s faced with trauma, but one thing that you’d never forget was the feeling of Howard, each and every morning, gently lifted you out of bed and attempted to let you sleep a little longer, holding you like a tiny baby bear against him, as they went to open up the bakery. 

School was out, and at only nine years old, you couldn’t just stay at home all alone, not with their long hours and especially not with the overwhelming grief you were dealing with. So, they brought you with them.

It didn’t take very long before you forgot about your toys and activity books in favour of just watching the magic that went on in the kitchen. Soon you were running around the place doing all matter of little tasks they could come up with for you and when they noticed the missing glint it brought back to your eye, they began to teach you and truly made you fall in love with the meditative craft. 

At the end of that summer when the next school year rolled around, you didn’t wanna leave. You’d grown up here, you’d healed here, the doorframe into the small lavatory in the back even had little chicken scratches documenting your height. This place was your home.

Sweeping a damp cloth over the steel tabletops, the music emanating from your phone that rested on the dark windowsill suddenly stopped as it buzzed with your ringtone. Putting it on speaker, you kept on wiping the surface down. 

“Matt, hi!”

“Hey,” his deep timbre filled the dim kitchen of the bakery. 

“I’m just about to lock up, if you’re still up for a little company.” 

“Yeah, about that,” he puffed out a heavy breath, “I’m still at the office.”

“Oh,” your moments froze a moment, “is everything alright?”

“Yeah, just swamped with this case prep.”

“Is it just you there?”

“No, the others are here too.”

“Well,” you exhaled a smile, “if you’re gonna burn the midnight oil, maybe I could come over with some of the leftovers from today to keep you guys going?”

Still in the doorway, your arms enclosed around Matt and the stuffed brown paper bag in your hand hung over his shoulder. 

Eyeing the goods, Foggy’s voice found your ears, “is that the–”

“Yeah,” you simply extended your arm in his direction, “here you go, take it.”

“Oh my god,” he snatched it out of your grasp and opened the crinkly bag up, nearly drooling as he glanced through the selections, “Karen, could you–”

“Get some plates? Yep,” the honey-haired woman then moved into the small kitchenette and grabbed some paper plates and napkins. 

Drawing back from the fleeting embrace, Matt then asked, “how was your day?” 

“It was fine,” you shrugged, your eyes briefly flickering over his attire, the tie tugged loose around his unbuttoned collar and his sleeves were rolled up past his burly forearms, “I kinda like it when I get to do the night shifts all alone. It’s so quiet–, oh, and I get to have full control over the music choice. It’s great,” a slight grin brightened your features, “how about you, huh?” you grabbed his hand in yours, “what’s this wild case about?”

A deep sigh flowed from his lips as he squeezed your hand, “uh, it’s this kid who–,” his phone then abruptly began to buzz in his pocket, “oh, sorry,” he fished it out, “I gotta take this.”

Letting go of his fingers, you said, “of course,” and watched as he ducked into his own office and answered the call. 

As you gazed at his visage still visible through the glass, Foggy’s words stirred you from your daydream.

“He’s happy.” 

Turning to blink back at him, you hummed, “huh?”

“You make him happy,” Foggy smiled from the humble conference room, “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him smile that much with anyone else, but then again, you are quite different from his usual type.”

Passing over the threshold into the space, your brows furrowed, “I’m not his type?”

“No! Oh, that came out wrong,” he winced, “Matt just has a tendency to get involved with the wrong kind of girls. You’re just different,” hastily adding, “in a good way.” 

“Oh…” you sank down into one of the chairs, wondering tensely if he was still dating others since you’d never had a conversation about how exclusive you were or how serious this thing between you even was, “does Matt date a lot?” 

“I wouldn’t exactly call it that, since it never really lasts that long,” Foggy said, though when he noticed the look on your face, his features soured in regret, “wow, I’m really screwing all of this up, aren’t I… look, all I’m saying is that he likes you, a lot. He’s never let himself be with anyone like you, anyone who truly made him happy, anyone he actually had a fighting chance of getting a stable and healthy relationship out of.”

Just then, you heard Matt’s footsteps entering the room from behind you, “hey,” he called Foggy’s attention, “you mind going down to the station tomorrow morning, check if Brett can get us any files that might help?” coming to a stop just behind where you were seated, his touch grazed the back of the chair. Reaching back, you caught one of his hands and briefly craned your neck, bringing his palm up to your lips to press a small peck to his calloused skin. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll go buy some more cigars,” Foggy sighed, briefly turning his attention back to the computer before him, slumping slightly as the intimidating and tangled laws still flashed back at him on the screen from when he’d looked them up earlier, he then blinked back up at you, “hey, Y/n?”

“Hm?” you hummed, meeting his eye as you weaved your fingers with Matt’s. 

“Have I ever told you that my mom wanted me to be a butcher?” 

“Oh,” you heard Matt sigh dramatically behind you as Karen too bit down on her lip to suppress a smile, “not the butcher story.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m sorry to break the news,” you said light-heartedly as you chewed on the taste Matt had offered you of his curry, “but I definitely picked the better one.”

With his tinted glasses resting on the coffee table beside where your takeout container of Thai food rested, a smile twitched on Matt’s lips, “well, you do work in food, so it does make sense that you’re better at ordering.”

“Here,” you filled your spoon up with the red soup, catching one of the floating pieces of tofu, before bringing it up to his lips, “give it a taste.” 

An airy giggle bubbled out of you as a drop of soup clung to the corner of his lip and you instinctively reached out to wipe it clean, his chuckle swiftly mirroring your own. Though when you then froze, fingers staying close, your laughter faded. The fluorescent light that streamed in through the tall windows of his apartment illuminated his features as you watched him swallow the small taste. Ghosting your thumb across his skin, you traced his bottom lip. You weren’t sure who moved first, but the next thing you knew, you were locked in a kiss. 

You faintly heard him place his dinner down on the coffee table before his palms came up to cup your cheeks. You fumbled a bit, trying not to tip anything as you laid down the spoon in your grasp. 

A yearning whimper seeped from deep within your chest when you felt his tongue faintly ghost against your own before he breathlessly eased back a bit to utter, “you’re right,” stealing a soft peck before he went on, “It does taste really good.” 

Tilting your chin, you fervently captured his lips once more, your touch crumbled up his shirt till it found purchase in his already loosened tie, playing with it as your tongue danced against his. 

When he buried his hands in your hair, his short nails soothingly scraped over your scalp and a small moan flowed from you and vibrated against his kiss. 

The clear pulse that rocked throughout your body accumulated between your legs in a dizzying throb, an enchanting sensation that swayed you to get even closer and crawl into his lap. His wide palms dragged down the length of your spine in a way that caused a shiver to follow along.

Tangling your fingers in his hair as you kissed him back, your hips then instinctively sought to scratch and satisfy the itch that had grown so immense by rocking down against him and the noticeable hardness that tented his pants. 

Breathlessly in between kisses, Matt said, “you wanna enjoy the food before it gets cold?” offering you a gentle escape in case you needed it.

Ghosting the tip of your nose against his, you uttered, “I don’t mind popping it in the microwave,” deliberately rolling your hips against his once more, “do you?”

Sharing his hot breath, you were so close that your lips nearly crashed into one another once more, but they didn’t as your pelvis kept up their slow and teasing grinding. Matt’s eyes fluttered shut a moment as he let out a low groan, “no,” his touch slid further down and dug into the softness of your bottom, “no, I don’t mind.” 

Capturing your lips once more, he slowly began to grow more confident in his touch, though some weariness still lingered as he began to aid your movements. 

As his lips migrated down the length of your neck, you let out a moan, “fuck,” your frame shivering from the pleasure, “oh my god,” yet also out of a deep desire for more, “Matt…” 

“Yeah?” his low voice vibrated against your throbbing pulse on the side of your neck. 

“M-Matt–,” your eyes fluttered shut as he rocked you down harder against him, “oh, holy fuck… could you–, would you–”

“What?” the sound of his words made you feel dizzy, “what do you need?”

“Touch me,” you uttered hazily, head enchantingly tilted back. 

“Yeah?” he reeled back a bit as one of his hands scooped up to find your cheek. 

“Please,” you downright whined, “please, Matt.”

Keeping one hand fast in your hair, the other one moved to caress the soft peaks of your tits. 

“Here?” 

You let out a filthy whimper as he palmed you, “uhh, ngah–, lower–…” his hand teasingly complied, “lower…” till he finally cupped you through your pants. 

“Here?” he pressed down against the seam, “huh? Is it here, Y/n?

“Y-yes!” you shuttered on top of him as he rubbed your thrumming clit so perfectly through your clothing, “oh, f-fuck, you’re good at that–”

He stole a short, yet sloppy kiss from your lips before your head tilted down and buried itself in his neck. Your moans were muffled against the crook of his shoulder as you then glided your own fingers down along the length of his arm, feeling the muscles of his forearm tense beneath your touch as he worked you. Eventually, your hand found what it was looking for, your palm rested atop of his, almost like you were holding his hand as you felt it move beneath yours and stroke you silly. 

Your fingers then grasped his tighter as you plucked it further up and stuffed it into your waistband, guiding his reach all the way down till you soaked his digits. 

“Christ, you’re wet,” Matt groaned as your touch, ever atop of his, begged him to swirl your puffy pearl, “fuck…”

Without the barrier of clothing, your frame swiftly began to crumble from the ecstasy. Your right leg gave out and slid across Matt’s lap to where your other limb was. Your head drifted down as well as Matt’s arms only tightened around your slumped form, keeping you flush against him as you hid your features in the mass of his arm as your free hand clutched onto it. 

Curling into him as he cradled you, the way he petted your pussy nearly made you vibrate, “don’t stop, please,” you unintentionally kept wiggling down against the tent in his pants. 

“I won’t,” he breathed heavily as he kept on caressing you, occasional moans also flowing from his lips, “I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”

His long middle finger then slid down to tease your leaking hole before just shyly sinking in, just barely, keeping everything so light, before fluttering up to circle your clit again and then dropping down to repeat the motion till he had you on the edge. 

When you tumbled over, both of your hands joined at his bicep, digging into it as his name shined through your lewd moan.

Catching your breath, his fingers gently slipped out of your pants. Sluggishly, you clung closer and snaked your arms around him. 

“You okay?” he hugged you tight. 

“Mhm,” you hummed into his warmth.  

Planting a soft peck on your hairline, he then moved to readjust your embrace, lowering you both till you were lying on the leather couch. 

After a moment, your fingers twisted in the southern material of his shirt close to his belt, “do you want me to–…”

“No need,” he shook his head. 

Tilting your chin up, you glanced at his soft expression, “really?”

“Yeah,” a bright smirk tugged at his lips, “just the way you sounded was beautiful enough to do the trick for me.” 

Grinning wide, you felt your face grow hot at the compliment, haven not realised the power he had over you apparently went both ways. 

Cuddling him closer, you lifted yourself up a bit and pressed a slow kiss to his lips. 

When you laid your head back down, he asked, “do you want something to drink?” his warm palm drew slow and soothing patterns all along your spine, “some more to eat maybe?”

“No,” you blinked up at him, utterly spellbound, “could we maybe just stay here like this a little longer?”

“Of course,” he relaxed further beside you, “we can stay like this forever if you’d like.”

A smile then crept up on your lips as you pointed out, “forever’s a very long time…”

Chuckling lightly, Matt nodded, “it is…”

© 2024 thyme-in-a-bubble 

[austinshotbutlers]

The Wedding Date - Part Four

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner × Fem!BAU!Reader

Summary: Your sister's wedding is approaching fast and the thought of showing your boyfriend off to you family and your ex-boyfriend seems like a very appealing idea. The only problem is... you don't have a boyfriend. Luckily your stony faced, serious, sexy boss has agreed to be your fake boyfriend for the weekend. What could possibly go wrong?

Word count: 4.9K

TW: Smut (Hotch is a boob man at the start, semi-public sex? (they have a quickie in a bathroom), unprotected sex, vaginal fingering), swear words, violence.

A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Part four is finally here! I’m sorry it took so long and this part is also the longest one so far. I apologise for any mistakes, I don’t know how well I proofread it! But I hope you enjoy it, it’s fluffy, smutty and also a little bit angsty. Please let me know what you’d like to see in part 5!

Being woken up by the bright sun shining through the gap in the curtains was not ideal when dealing with a hangover. Your head pounded as you buried it in the pillow, trying to remember just how much you had to drink at the party. You smiled to yourself as you replayed the events of last night in your brain; you couldn’t believe you and Aaron had sex. You couldn’t believe the two of you had admitted your love for one another.

You sat up slowly, expecting to see Aaron still asleep but there was no sign of him. You laid back against the headboard, chewing lightly on your thumbnail with a look of pure satisfaction on your face. You hadn’t slept with anyone in a long time and it had been an even longer time since anyone had left you feeling so satisfied, so loved. No man had ever made love to you the way Aaron did last night and it was just incredible.

Then, your bedroom door opened gently and Aaron walked in, carrying a tray of food and drink. He looked up and smiled when he saw you were awake.

“Morning.” He smiled, as he walked in and placed the tray down on your bedside cabinet. “I thought you might be hungover so I took the liberty to bring you Advil, water, black coffee, plain toast and a banana. Whatever might do the trick.”

Your heart swelled at his thoughtfulness and you immediately reached out for the pack of Advil and water. “Thank you so much.” You smiled, popping the Advil in your mouth and taking a huge sip of water.

Aaron sat down on the bed beside you and leaned forward for a kiss which you happily reciprocated, placing a soft kiss on his slightly chapped lips. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling Aaron in deeper and he adjusted your bodies so that you were back lying down. You both leaned in for another kiss but you bumped heads in eagerness and laughed but Aaron quickly captured your lips again.

“I’m still naked from last night.” You giggled and Aaron groaned into your ear.

“God you make me feel like a horny teenager again.” He murmured and you laughed, placing light kisses behind his ear. Aaron pulled the duvet down to reveal your breasts and you shuddered at the sudden loss of warmth the fabric was providing. Aaron spread kisses from you neck down to the valley of your breasts and you took a deep breath as his mouth fell to your right.

“Oh!” You managed to moan out as Aaron closed his mouth around your nipple, his tongue swirling while his other hand massaged your left. “That feels so good.” You mumble breathlessly, running your hand through his hair. The pleasure from Aaron’s tongue flicking and sucking on your nipple while his other hand kneaded your left breast made your brain foggy with rapture as the building pleasure settled in your lower abdomen.

Suddenly, your bedroom door creaked open and you could hear you mom chatting away as she was about to enter. You shoved Aaron off, who fell back against the mattress, and you frantically pulled the duvet back up to cover yourself.

“Oh my god mom! Have you ever heard of knocking!” You groaned frustratedly. “It’s like being 15 all over again.”

“Sorry, I forgot! It’s all the excitement of the rehearsal dinner tonight!” She said cheerily which told you she didn’t see anything, much to your relief. “How were the parties last night?” She asked as she wondered into your room, opening the curtains and the sun blinding you.

“Jesus mom.” You hissed and squinted your eyes. “Well the bachelorette was fun, you should have seen Sarah dancing.” You laughed.

“Well I heard you at 3 this morning.” Your mom said and you and Aaron threw each other a panicked look. Had your mom really heard you two have sex last night? “You slammed the front door so loud,” she went on to say. “I’m surprised you didn’t wake up your dad and Aaron as well.” And the two of you relaxed. “So! Tonight, we need to be heading to Thomas’ Parents’ house at around 4, guests will be arriving from 5 and I expect you not to drink so much tonight please Y/N. I do not want you hungover on your sister’s wedding day.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re making it sound like I have a problem but whatever, it all sounds good.” You said trying to get your mom to leave the two of you.

“Make sure you wear a nice dress and Aaron, I hope to see you in a suit again.” You mom winked to him and Aaron awkwardly chuckled.

“Of course Mrs Y/L/N.” He smiled politely.

“Great! I shall leave you two now. I can tell when my company is not wanted.” She joked and quickly walked out of your room, closing the door behind her.

“Well…” you sighed. “That killed the mood a bit didn’t it?”

“Just a little.” Aaron said, turning back to look at you.

You started to laugh. “The way we both looked at each other when my mom said she heard me come home last night.” You tried to catch your breath. “We really thought we had been caught! It’s like being a teenager again when I used to sneak my boyfriends in through the window in the bathroom and always being so scared my parents were gonna hear us.”

Aaron laughed. “You were quite the rebellious teen.”

“Weren’t we all? At least I didn’t have a punk phase like Emily did.” You giggled. “What were you like as a teenager?”

“While you may not have had a punk phase in high school, I hate to say that mine was in college.” Aaron said.

“Shut up! There is absolutely no way you were a punk. I couldn’t even imagine what you would have looked like.” You’re practically in hysterics now, trying to picture Aaron in college.

“When you come to my apartment, I’ll have to show you the photos.” He said, amused at how entertained you were by the thought of his, very awful attempt, at a punk phase.

***

“I miss you too buddy.” Aaron smiled into the phone “But I’ll be home in 3 days and you can tell me all about your museum trip with aunt Jessica as soon as I get back. I can’t wait to hear what you saw.”

You smiled from your place at the dressing table, listening to Aaron talk to Jack as you put mascara on your lashes.

“I love you too.” Aaron said. “Be good for Jessica. Yes I love you too Jack.” He chuckled. “Bye buddy.” And he hung up the phone.

“How is he?” You asked, turning to face Aaron.

“He’s good. He went to the museum today and bought a giant shark teddy.” He said.

“He’ll have to show it to me when I next see him.” You smiled , going back to finishing your makeup and Aaron’s heart swelled because Jack loved you. Whenever he would come to the BAU, he would always make a beeline for your desk knowing you would have a chocolate for him in your drawer and make him laugh with some silly story that he would then go home and tell Aaron about 15 times.

“He would love that.” Aaron smiled.

You stood up and turned to show Aaron your dress. “How do I look?”

Aaron felt like he’d stopped breathing as he took in the gorgeous dark green dress you had on. It hugged your figure perfectly, accentuating every curve and falling just above your knee.

“You look gorgeous.” He breathed out and walked over to you. “So, so gorgeous.” He whispered, leaning in and placing soft kisses behind your ear.

“If you keep that up, we’re going to be late to the dinner.” You mumbled breathlessly as Aaron continued to kiss your neck.

“I don’t care.” He said lowly against your skin.

“Neither do I but my mom will go pure psycho on us and the rest of the team will be coming to claim our dead bodies.” You joked and Aaron chuckled. “But I promise we can continue this later tonight.”

“Deal.” Aaron smirked as he pulled away, standing up straight to look at you. You reached up to tighten and straighten the silky red tie he was wearing and smoothed down his shirt.

“You look very handsome Agent Hotchner.” And you reached up to give him a peck on the lips. “We better get going before my mom starts hassling us.”

Aaron reached for his suit jacket and swiftly put it on before the two of you exited your bedroom and made your way down the stairs. Your mom came into view and she gasped when she saw you.

“Oh sweetheart! You look beautiful.” She smiled.

“Thanks mom.” You said smiling back.

Aaron placed his hand on your lower back and you both made your way to the car.

“So Aaron,” you dad started as he drove. “Have you enjoyed your time in LA?”

“Yes, very much Sir,” Aaron said. “It’s nice to be here for leisure and not dealing with a case.”

“Do you enjoy working for the BA…. Whatever it is?” Your mom asked.

“I do enjoy working at the BAU, my son thinks I’m a superhero.” Aaron chuckled.

“Oh you have a son?” Your mom questioned obnoxiously.

“Yes, his name is Jack. He’s almost 8 now.” He said with a smile and you placed your hand on Aaron’s thigh to apologise for your mom’s abruptness.

“Would you want anymore children?” She continued.

“Mom!” You called our frustratedly. “What kind of question is that?”

“It’s fine Y/N,” Aaron smiled to you, taking your hand in his and squeezing it. “I suppose I am open to more children but only if it feels right.”

The rest of the car ride went in a silence, your mom and dad occasionally exchanging a few words and sentences but you soon arrived at the house of you sister’s future in-laws. You took in the extravagant building.

“At least we know Sarah is going to be rich for the rest of her life.” You joked to Aaron and he chuckled.

“Oh shush!” Your mom reprimanded you and she knocked a few times on the door before Sarah excitedly ran to open it.

“Can you believe I’m getting married tomorrow!” She said excitedly.

You all made your way into the lavish home and were greeted by Thomas and his parents.

“Luke is here, he’s just in the dining room.” Thomas smiled as he shook your dad’s hand.

Anger flared in Aaron’s chest at the mention of Luke as their conversation from last night replayed in his head. You noticed Aaron tense up and placed your hand on his back, rubbing softly to help him relax.

***

The large party sat around the dining table as the second course had just been finished, chatter and laughter filling the room.

“Sarah and Y/N never used to get on! They hated each other growing up.” Your mom was telling the table.

“That’s because Y/N couldn’t stand the fact that I was more popular than her.” Sarah interjected. “She was far more interested in her boring criminology books.”

“We all know you were only popular because mom had to beg the coach to let you on the cheer squad.” You laughed and Sarah threw you a glare.

“Well at least you two girls get on together now.” Your dad said, trying to calm the conversation.

“Get on? No. Tolerate? Yes.” You said laughing and a few chuckles came from around the room.

Aaron looked around the large table at the guests and his eyes settled on Luke who was downing another drink, much to his girlfriend’s dismay. She was muttering something to him and he replied angrily. Always the gentleman.

“Do you want more wine?” Your voice drew Aaron from his thoughts and he turned to you.

“Please.” He smiled, holding out his glass as your poured. “Thank you.”

Aaron pulled his chair in closer so that he could rest his hand on your thigh and the small action sent instant waves of calmness through your body.

“So, Aaron and Y/N. Why don’t you tell us what it’s like working for the FBI.” Thomas said, everyone’s eyes falling onto the two of you.

“It’s hard work but we love it.” You said, looking up at Aaron with a smile.

“Tell us about the serial killers.” Thomas pleaded.

“I don’t think that’s appropriate dinner talk honey.” Sarah said.

“I’d like to hear about it.” Your dad interjected.

“Maybe we should leave this talk until after the wedding.” Thomas’ mother said unimpressed.

You and Aaron looked at each other as everyone spoke over one another and laughed.

“We profile more than just serial killers.” You said.

“Have you ever shot anyone?” Thomas asked eagerly.

Aaron opened his mouth to respond but your mom’s desperate tone cut him off. “Why don’t we go back to talking about the wedding!”

You turned to Aaron and rolled your eyes before the excited chatter of the wedding filled the room again.

Eventually, the guests dispersed from the table, mingling around the grand house with one another. Your mom was excitedly chatting away with Sarah, Thomas and Thomas’ mom while your dad was talking to a couple of your great aunts. Luke was solemnly stood in the corner, sipping slowly at a large tumbler of whiskey. Aaron had his hand placed at the small of your back, holding you close as your cousin spoke.

“You should have seen your mom’s face when Thomas asked if you had ever shot anyone!” Liv laughed. “She looked absolutely horrified.”

“Well, you know better than anyone my mom hates my job.” You replied with an eye roll. “She never wanted me to take my job at the BAU.”

“I’m glad you did take it.” Aaron said, rubbing a circle on your back. “Or we never would have met.”

“Blah!” Liv said. “You guys are so in love it makes me sick. Where can I get myself an Aaron?” She joked.

“Join the FBI.” You replied with a laugh.

“I’m going to go and get another drink and consider your proposal.” Liv chuckled and walked off to the kitchen.

You looked up at Aaron with a smile and leaned in for a kiss which he happily reciprocated, placing a gentle peck on your lips. You leaned in for another but Aaron pulled away.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to control myself.” He mumbled into your ear. “You look so breathtaking in this dress.”

Heat rose to your cheeks and you smiled shyly into Aaron’s neck. “Keep talking like that and I won’t be able to control myself.” You replied and looked around the room. Everyone was occupied or engaged in conversation, all centred around Sarah and Thomas. “I don’t think anyone would notice if we disappeared.” You said and the implications in your tone told Aaron exactly what you were thinking.

“Are you sure?” He asked, his hands sliding to yours hips and you nodded eagerly.

The two of you quickly made your way down the long hall to the ostentatious bathroom and checked if anyone was around before you both stepped into the room, locking the door behind you. In an instant, Aaron’s lips were on yours, catching them in a hungry kiss and you stepped back, the back of your legs hitting the the bathroom counter. Aaron swiftly lifted you up and effortlessly placed you softly onto the counter. You parted your legs so Aaron could stand between them, letting him be closer to you as he kissed your jaw and you pushed his suit jacket off his shoulders.

“I never took you as a quickie in the bathroom kind of guy.” You joked breathlessly.

“Neither did I.” He said as lips trailed down to your collarbone. “But you can be quite persuasive Agent Y/L/N.”

You pushed your clothed centre into Aaron’s crotch and he groaned into your ear as you slid your body closer to his from your position on the counter. You could feel him getting harder as each second passed and your kiss grew rougher and more passionate.

“This dress is just so beautiful.” Aaron mumbled. “You are so beautiful.”

You kissed him again hard on the lips and began to unbuckle his belt.

“Eager?” He jokingly muttered as you unbuttoned his pants and unzipped them.

“We don’t have long until they realise we’ve disappeared.” You said. “And I’ve been thinking about this all day.”

Aaron pulled you closer to him and hastily hiked the skirt of your dress up. You could feel how hard he was through his pants and leaned into his ear.

“I need you.” You mumbled desperately.

He reached for his wallet out his back pocket and quickly ruffled through before muttering frustratedly.

“Fuck! I don’t have anything.” He said gruffly.

“It’s fine,” you mumbled as you pulled him back to you by his tie. “I’m on birth control.”

“Are you sure?” He asked. “It’s not always 100% effective…”

You cut him off with a kiss before reaching for his boxers, slipping your hand beneath the waistband and pulling his cock free. Aaron groaned as you took him in your hand and reached down to your panties, pushing the fabric to the side and sliding his fingers inside your slick folds.

“So wet already.” Aaron grumbled and you gasped as he began to pump his index and middle fingers in and out of you slowly.

“Please Aaron.” You pleaded and helped line his length up to your entrance.

Aaron pushed his cock inside you slowly and your hands grabbed onto the edge of the counter tightly. Once he was completely inside of you, he stilled and gave a moment for your body to adjust.

“You ok?” Aaron mumbled and you nodded.

“Yes!” You exhaled.

Aaron began slow thrusts, rocking back and forth, driving into you over and over again. Each thrust felt like ecstasy to him as your walls clenched around his length. It was enough to send him into overdrive. You moaned out quietly and bit your lips to stifle any noises.

“Feel so good.” Aaron grumbled into your neck as his pace picked up and his grip on your hips tightened.

“Aaron!” You moaned at the building pressure between your legs, your grip on the edge of the counter so tight as Aaron’s thrusts grew faster and harder. He placed soft kisses on your neck as he continued to fuck you against the counter and you felt as though you were about to crumble from the pleasure. “Fuck! Right there…” you gasped out as he hit the perfect spot and he positioned himself to make sure he continued hitting the right spot.

“Where do you want me to?…” Aaron began to ask but was cut off by a moan from himself as his own pleasure neared its climax.

“Inside.” You managed to mumble. “Aaron! I’m going to…” all brain function was clouded as your orgasm took over your body.

Aaron buried his head into your shoulder, his thrusts growing sloppy as his own climax neared. A soft moan from your lips was all he needed and he was tumbling over the edge and you gasped at the sudden hot sensation as he filled you up. Aaron continued rocking his hips as he rode out his orgasm. Then, the two of you froze as the doorknob began to aggressively twist as someone attempted to enter the bathroom.

“Occupied!” You managed to call out and you heard a gruff mumble reply from the other side of the door. “Quick, we should get cleaned up.” You whispered and Aaron nodded, pulling out of you slowly and reaching for several tissues from the countertop.

Once you were both cleaned up and looking much more presentable than you were a mere 5 minutes prior, you unlocked the door and quickly exited.

“Remember the quick fucks we used to have?” A voice mumbled from behind you as you and Aaron began to walk down the hall. You turned to see Luke standing against the wall, taking a large swig from his glass.

“I’m sorry?” You asked, taken aback by his abruptness.

“Don’t act dumb Y/N, we all know you two just fucked in the bathroom. We used to do it all the time.” Luke slurred as he walked towards you and Aaron. “I told you she was a good fuck didn’t I?”

“I don’t want any trouble Luke,” Aaron said sternly as he stepped in front of you, shielding you from Luke in a protective manner.

“Come on Aaron, admit it! You’re only with Y/N for the sex. God knows that’s the only reason I stayed with her for five years.”

Anger grew inside Aaron and he stepped forward to Luke. “Just go back to the party and stop bothering Y/N. I warned you last night to leave her alone.”

Luke stepped away and threw his hands up defensively. “Hey whatever! We’re cool man. I mean, I can’t say I envy you being stuck with the needy slut.”

Aaron didn’t even hesitate, his fist formed a ball and without a second thought, he threw a punch to Luke’s jaw and he fell to the floor from the impact. Everything happened so fast and you barely had time to process the situation but you were back at Aaron’s side in an instant and he wrapped his arms around you. Luke slowly stumbled upright as he found his feet, clinging onto his nose as bright red blood spilled over his suit.

“What the fuck! I think you broke my fucking nose!” Luke shouted.

All the commotion had drawn people’s attention from the party as they all made their way to the hallway to see what had happened.

“Oh my god! What have you done?” Sarah shrieked as she looked at the scene before her.

“Broke my fucking nose!” Luke responded angrily.

“It’s not broken.” Aaron rolled his eyes.

“You had to make this about you didn’t you?!” Sarah fumed, turning to you.

“Wh…what?” You fumbled in shock.

“You couldn’t stand the fact that this week was about me and you had to create a scene!”

You started to laugh at her preposterous suggestion. “Are you serious?”

“Girls! Let’s leave this argument until after the wedding.” Your mom said as she tried to intervene.

“You just can’t get over that I’m getting married first so you had to ruin it.” Sarah continued.

“No Sarah! I just couldn’t stand the fact that your let that,” you aggressively pointed at Luke who was now being fussed over by his girlfriend and Thomas. “Asshole to be a part of it.”

“He dumped you two years ago! Get over it.” Sarah replied angrily.

“Trust me Sarah, I’m fucking over it! And you know what? I’m over this wedding as well.” You exclaimed.

“Y/N!” Your mom hissed.

“She’s a fucking psycho mom!” Sarah said. “No wonder she catches them for a living.

Aaron’s grip on your waist tightened as he pulled you closer to him, the tension in the room so thick you could cut it with a knife.

“Why don’t we all calm down and go back to the party?” You dad suggested as he tried to calm the situation.

“I think me and Aaron should go.” You muttered.

“Yes. I think you should.” Sarah said venomously.

“I’ll drive you home.” Your dad offered but you shook your head.

“We’ll just get a cab.” You replied and took Aaron’s hand in yours.

***

“I’m sorry.” Aaron said as the two of you walked into the deserted house.

“For what?” You asked, turning around to face him.

“I escalated the situation. I should have never punched Luke but I couldn’t stand listening to how he spoke about you.” He loosened his tie as he spoke.

“Don’t apologise.” You said sternly, walking over to him and intertwining your hands with his. “I’m lucky to have you defending my honour.” Your tried to joke and Aaron smiled.

“But you’re sister…” He began but you cut him off.

“Needs to realise that not everything is going to be perfectly smooth.” You rolled your eyes. “We’ll know in the morning if I’m still maid of honour. But, it’s going to be hilarious seeing Luke tomorrow standing at the end of the aisle with a broken nose.”

Aaron groaned and rolled his eyes. “I did not break it! It was just a light punch.”

“A light punch? You nearly killed him!” You laughed and Aaron sighed defeatedly despite the small smile on his lips. “But I must admit, it was very sexy.”

Aaron chuckled sheepishly and placed his hands on your hips, still in awe of your appearance and your dress. You leaned up and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Let’s go upstairs and pretend everything today didn’t happen.” You muttered against Aaron’s lips.

“Everything?” He quizzed, pulling away and raising an eyebrow which caused your to giggle.

“Ok, not everything.” You laughed and the two of you began to trek up the stairs to your bedroom.

When you entered your room, you immediately kicked off your heels and began to unzip your dress. Aaron followed closely behind, taking off his jacket and tie before sitting down on the bed to untie his shoes.

Soon, you and Aaron were sat in bed together, he had his arm wrapped around your shoulders while you nestled into his side. It felt so natural, so domestic. You could still smell Aaron’s cologne on his neck and it smelt like heaven, sending ripples of relaxation through your body.

“I could spend all day in your arms.” You mumbled into his chest.

“I’d love nothing better than to lay in bed with you all day.”Aaron replied.

“What will the team say when they find out about this?” You asked.

“They will definitely tease us. Dave would claim he’d always known we would get together.” Aaron scoffed. “He actually…” he paused, a hint of embarrassment in his tone. “He actually tried to get me to ask you out.”

“Really?” You asked surprise, sitting up straight so that you were facing him.

He chuckled nervously. “Yes. His voice kept circling my head that night I agreed to do this with you. I could hear Dave’s words repeating over and over.”

“What did he say to you?” You asked eagerly.

“He said ‘If you don’t tell Y/N how you feel, I’ll do it for you’ and I couldn’t stand the thought of you finding out how I felt about you from David Rossi of all people.” Aaron laughed.

You suddenly gasped. “Oh my god! Rossi is the reason you bought me those earrings for my birthday isn’t he?”

Heat rose to Aaron’s cheeks before he nodded slowly. “Dave saw you show a picture of them to Garcia and JJ and told me to get them for you. I rarely listen to Dave’s advice when it comes to relationships but this was the one time I listened to a suggestion from him.”

You leaned forward and kissed Aaron passionately, wrapping your arms round his neck. His hand instinctively went to your hips as he held you in place. You pulled away and looked deeply into his eyes.

“I love you.” You said breathlessly.

Aaron smiled brightly. “I love you too.” He said before leaning in to kiss you again.

***

“Did you go to that party with a plan to ruin your sister’s wedding?” Your mom shrieked as she burst into your room. You and Aaron jolted apart at her sudden entrance, her shrill voice piercing your ears.

“Mom, oh my god.” You sighed. “You made us jump!”

“You were very rude to your sister at her rehearsal dinner.” You mom continued, a sour look on her face. “She is downstairs so upset with what happened. You’re lucky she still wants you to be her maid of honour tomorrow.”

“I think you’re both being over dramatic. Luke got what he deserved.” You rolled your eyes. “It’s not my fault Sarah started an unnecessary argument.”

“Luke has got a potential broken nose! We don’t know of he’ll be able to go to the wedding tomorrow.”

“Would that really be so terrible?” You asked.

“Enough! Tomorrow is Sarah’s day, let the past with Luke go and try and behave for the wedding tomorrow.”

“Jesus mom, I’m not 5 anymore.” You huffed at her ridiculous words.

“In Y/N’s defence,” Aaron spoke from his position next to you on the bed. “Luke has said some disgusting things about Y/N this weekend. I don’t usually go round throwing punches but I couldn’t stand there and let him call my girlfriend, your daughter a slut.”

Your mom was taken aback by what Aaron said. She struggled to find the words she wanted to speak.

“Just make sure you apologise to Sarah in the morning, she’s staying here tonight. The night before her wedding and all that.” Your mom muttered and then swiftly exited your room, shutting the door behind her.

“Christ tomorrow is going to be painful.” You groaned, throwing your head back against the pillow.

***

The Wedding Date Taglist 1/2: @wanniiieeee @notsopersonalcharlie @blackeyedangel9805 @preciousbabypeter @stxlemate @twilightlover2007 @justarandommom @impala1967dwinchester @spencermiromantiko @julyhoney @thecubanator2 @xphantomphanphanaticx @lawlesshedgehog @louderfortheback @ssamorganhotchner @essenceproxima @lespendy @stiles-argent24 @rousethemouse @tvdstelenaforever @wandererseye @bibella8swan @yourfavunsub @bibimangines @lou-the-confused-bisexual @realm8626 @sophiaj650 @bylones @howabouticallyou @madz-19 @hotchnerxo @supercriminalbean @jayxox @sweetpeterparker @mina2000alex @xoxokiwi @rayofeffingsunshine @helmihotchner @pedrohoe04 @blackqueenie-18 @crocodilefeet2707 @mynotesapptbh @cryingraccoonn @victoriaholland @1d-obssesed @jemssafespace @red-red-rogue @fandomalert31 @valentinaromanoff @smad809 @pretty-little-bunny382728 @tim-thefrog @mojo366 @jazzymariexoxoc @dankfarrick29 @gffesegjoiegi @fuckthealarm @users09 @8crazy-freak8 @jazzerbelle14 @vsophb

[crowsongcaws]

[Suggestive Desert Duo things because Scar in that spirit halloween officer uniform should be illegal]

Martyn and Ren's house thrummed with life. It was quickly approaching midnight, and it felt like the music had only gotten louder. It really was a miracle that no one had called the police and made a noise complaint, but Grian figured it was the alcohol getting to him that had him thinking the music was louder. Besides, it was a Halloween party, so maybe the neighbors were more understanding.

Bodies swayed around him, most people at least a little familiar to him given they all somehow knew either Ren or Martyn. His head felt foggy, so it took a few seconds longer than normal to process who exactly was around him. Cleo—with their face painted to look like a zombie—was loudly talking about something that went right over Grian's head to a guy wearing socks and sandals, Mumbo—dressed as a vampire—was flicking the lights on and off to some sort of custom-made lamp and discussing the wiring of it to two very interested people, and a blue-haired guy with an oddly cocky grin was sliding onto Jimmy's lap. At that, Grian averted his gaze, not wanting to see whatever antics his cousin got up to, but he hoped it would at least give Jimmy a few anxiety-free days.

Still, distracted, Grian didn't notice anyone was in his path until he collided with a broad chest. Unfortunately for him, his lack of attention led to him spilling the last bit of his drink onto his shirt.

"Oh, sorry, I was not paying attention at all," came a familiar voice.

Grian looked from the stain on his shirt to the person he'd bumped into and vaguely recalled that this was someone Martyn had introduced him to. Something about him being friendly enough to handle the marketing for the coding projects Grian wanted to advertise. But that had been weeks ago, and Grian was buzzed, so every possible letter of any name was swimming around his head.

Looking again, but really looking this time, he realized that this guy was somewhat dressed as a police officer. Or, on that note, somewhat dressed as is. Sure, he was wearing every article of clothing society expected, but his pants were distractingly tight, and the top button on his collared shirt were unbuttoned. Even worse, the costume had apparently come with a tie, but it was simple draped around his neck. And was his shirt sheer? Maybe it hadn't been by design, but Grian could in fact vaguely see tanned skin through the white fabric.

"Who are you?" Grian bluntly asked, only mentally chastising himself a few seconds later.

"Scar! I'm glad I'm not the only one who forgot!" Scar laughed, and how could such an innocent laugh sound just as appealing as he looked? "What was your name again?"

A pause as Grian's brain reconnected to the world; "Uh, Grian. Sorry, I'm a little buzzed."

"Not a problem, so am I! What's your costume, by the way?"

Grian blinked, pursed his lips, then answered, "I'm a witch. I didn't put much effort in this year, but maybe next year."

"A witch is still cool! It's a classic, and hey, not like I picked anything too interesting! Just a police officer! And, to tell you the truth, I just got to the store late and it was the last costume that had my size other than an inflatable chicken, but that was my costume last year!"

Again, Scar laughed, and Grian took to memorizing the sound. His eyes drifted up and down, settling on the tie once more until Scar noticed.

"Before you say it, I do know how to tie a tie sometimes, I just had to rush to get here on time, and then I forgot about it—" but before Scar could finish his rambling, Grian grabbed both ends of the tie and pulled him down.

Now, Scar was close enough that Grian could smell the alcohol on his breath. Startled brown eyes were looking down at him, but not a word of protest had been made.

"Need help with that?" Grian offered, and Scar's face flushed much to Grian's surprise.

His ego was going to be through the roof for the next week.

"With—with the tie?" Scar stammered.

"With whatever you want."

[taste-of-the-divine]

ꕤ | Who's Begging Now? | Vax'ildan

— VOX MACHINA : cockysubby!vax'ildan x fdom!reader

✩ 𝙎𝘾𝙀𝙉𝙀: ​you put vax'ildan in his place, pretty little noises and all. ✩ 𝙋𝙊𝙎𝙏 𝙄𝙉𝙁𝙊: drabble, 1.2k words ✩ 𝘾𝙊𝙉𝙏𝙀𝙉𝙏 𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂: vax'ildan recieves + reader gives : dubcon, somnophelia, overstimulation, humiliation, degredation, deep throat, sex drugs, messy spit/saliva, begging to cum, orgasm denial/edging, ruined orgasm, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, aftercare // reader recieves + vaildan gives: deepthroat on vax's cock, gagging, humiliation outside the bedroom, being called ma'am.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ 𝙉𝙊𝙏𝙀𝙎 𝙁𝙍𝙊𝙈 𝘿𝙄𝙑𝙄𝙉𝙀: this was supposed to be way shorter but i got carried away but likes and reblogs are super appreciated :’)

𝘔𝘖𝘙𝘌 𝘝𝘖𝘟 𝘔𝘈𝘊𝘏𝘐𝘕𝘈 | 𝘔𝘈𝘚𝘛𝘌𝘙𝘓𝘐𝘚𝘛 & 𝘖𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙 𝘞𝘖𝘙𝘒𝘚 | 𝘔𝘠 𝘗𝘈𝘎𝘌

vax’ildan has been acting out of line lately— he’s bold, flirtatious, he’s always been so— but something’s changed, you can feel it. he’s gotten cocky. he talks back a little more now, he intentionally towers over you when you sit at the end of the bed. he pushes you to your knees now, too, places his cock on your lips and cheeks and smears it over those plump lips of yours that he loves so much— ah, correction: that he loves fucking, ramming, bruising, so much, with the base of his heavy cock. the feeling of his pubes tickling your lips and you gagging at the same is a familiar one— so much so that dick nuzzling isn’t practical anymore.

he enjoys being in charge; you enjoy letting him think he’s in charge. but now he’s getting too cocky— you hear him bragging to scanlan, grog, pyke, gilmore, anyone that would listen, about how he forces you to the floor, how you turn into putty in his hands, how you beg for him to fuck you like you want no one else’s cock but his.

but you know it’s all a fucking lie. what a pathetic piece of shit. fucker needs to be put in his place, so the next morning, right before he wakes up, you find secure cuffs for his wrists and ankles from somewhere in the house. he’s still sleeping but his cock is throbbing under the thin fabrics of his boxers, leaking precum at the tip. you mouth at him through the boxers first, and then you pull him free and take his whole cock into your mouth.

he wakes with a groan, tugs on the handcuffs. how fucking pathetic. fitting for you, you say, lifting off his cock. he’s incredibly hard, his hips bucking involuntarily, looking for the warm wet of your mouth and his mind is muddled, foggy, can only think about cumming. you drugged his drink the night before, just an aphrodisiac. he had a lesson to learn, and you had to teach him, all means necessary.

you jerk his cock— he moans and tugs at the cuffs— until his balls are tight and he goes light headed from how much blood is pumping through it, keeping it big and heavy. the veins pop angry and blue and purple, throbbing in your hand. his cock is as much of a drooling mess of precum over your fingers as is he is— head rolled back, lips parted, panting and begging you to drag your hands on the underside because that’s all he needs to cum. you don’t, because he forgot to say please, so instead, he says your name in prayer as his eyes goes crossed when you let your spit dribble down your chin and slide onto his sensitive cock head. you love watching him like this, love watching his body spasm and jerk at every touch, watching that his stupid fucked out face and that stupid fucked our brain trying to ask for something he won’t get. his whimpers are starting to sound like crying, voice climbing in pitch. his skin is flushed so, so, so pretty, you tell him this, between scolding him and asking him who’s the one begging to cum now? who’s the one that’s desperate? im going to tell the others about how utterly embarrassing you are.

he knows his answers to these questions, cries, me, me, me, I’m desperate to cum, please, ma’am, please— please don’t tell the others, please please, i’m sorry— and then suddenly your hand are wrapped around his throat and he knows he just fucked up. his eyes are wide, taking in your pissed off and disgusted face, and he can’t help but almost cum from how ashamed he feels. his dick throbs against his stomach, but you keep your eyes on him. i wasn’t asking, you stupid pet, you spit in his face. and that name, his favorite name that you use to put him into his place— it’s enough to make him go over the edge with fluttering eye lids as his mouth falls open, panting like a dog and making broken vocal sounds as his hips go taught and he cums. his head feels like there’s a million stars in there wanting to burst right out of his cock, and his cock needs friction while he cums because even though he’s cumming it isn’t isnt enough to get rid of the aphrodisiac that makes his balls aching to cum again. he looks at you, a whimpering mess with tears in his eyes, begging with them for you to do something, to make this go away, please I need to cum again, he says with his hazel irises.

you take mercy on him, he seems to have learned his lesson— you grip his cock in your hand an pump once, and like that, he folds in on himself as much as his bound limbs let him, a cry forming from his chest as he cums a second time, this time so much incredibly harder than the first that he almost goes unconscious twice throughout it. his eyes are white, he can’t even breathe, hips and cock twitching into and in your hand as you smear his cum over his sensitive tip. eventually his chest fills with air, but his face looks like he'd been properly fucked in the ass even though you've only used your hands and mouth. so pathetic.

when you’re done with the fun you’re having with him, you leave him there, bound to the frame of the bed slick in his own sweat. he learned his lesson, so after a few minutes, you come back with a glass of water and some fresh snacks from the kitchen. you take his bruised wrists and ankles out of the cuffs, massaging the cuts and kissing them better, cuddling him as he stirs awake from his sex haze. you kiss him, remind him that he’s yours, you love him, but firmly tell him he has no place lying about who’s desperate in the bedroom. he nods his face into your chest, tears welling in the corners of his eyes that you kiss away, whispering in his ear that you love him all the same. his arms wrap around your waist tighter, muttering that he loves you too, thank you, thank you, thank you ma’am, i won’t do it again.

© copyright @taste-of-the-divine 2023 𝘔𝘖𝘙𝘌 𝘝𝘖𝘟 𝘔𝘈𝘊𝘏𝘐𝘕𝘈 | 𝘔𝘈𝘚𝘛𝘌𝘙𝘓𝘐𝘚𝘛 & 𝘖𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙 𝘞𝘖𝘙𝘒𝘚 | 𝘔𝘠 𝘗𝘈𝘎𝘌

[riddle-me-ri]

when your body decides to just collapse at work. 🥴

im okay it's my fault really..somehow rip. I guess even with two days off from work my body/brain was still exhausted and wasn't ready to lift 20-30lbs of food and canned food rip (im a stocker at a pet store)

sorry for any cat parent that gets cat food and finds busted cans cause I was dropping that shit not realizing I was slowly getting dizzy and foggy brained...

tldr im okay just got woozy will be getting back to everything momentarily 🥴 thanks again for all the support and participation in my event! It really means a lot and I just don't want anyone to think I forgot cause I may not be posting for a few days cause of work and shit like this lol

[averagebacchaereader]

april 17th

CW: swearing, light creepy stuff/violence, ipad kids 

a “/” indicates the next line begins.

melody eva

sparse room. MELODY sits on a threadbare couch, staring intently at an old TV. sound of static humming. there are bottles, cans, plastic packages scattered around. the TV glows blue. 

MELODY: the stranger paradigm. new innovations in reality TV. 16 go in, only one comes out. to care for the wellbeing of the whole, or oneself? running saturdays at 7pm eastern standard time. network executive’s favourite. highly rated. five stars, five stars, five stars. four point nine six stars. they’re just like you. could be anyone off the street. could be you. new innovations in reality TV. 

EVA enters, she wears a bloodstained apron. late shift at the slaughterhouse. 

EVA: hey there, little mouse. 

MELODY (muttering): the stranger paradigm. /16 go in, only one comes out. to care for the wellbeing of the whole, or oneself? running saturdays at 7pm eastern standard time. network exec- 

EVA: sorry i’m later than usual, tess was supposed to work the evening shift but couldn’t make it in. they’re having another bout of storms off the coast, lots of lightning. what’cha watching? 

MELODY: reruns. 

EVA: right. anything good? 

MELODY: no. cheap. 

EVA: course. hey, be careful sitting so close- maybe we should move the couch back, that can’t be good for your eyes. 

MELODY: four point nine six… 

EVA: what? 

MELODY: it’s a good distance. 

EVA: ookay. if you say so. you’re the one who's here all day… did you get out at all? 

MELODY: no. 

EVA: why not?

MELODY: it’s too foggy. you can’t see where you’re going. 

EVA: fog… oh, that’s dust. it’s dusty. 

MELODY: okay. 

EVA: probably best to stay in today. 

MELODY: that’s what the nine o’clock said. 

EVA: the news?

MELODY nods. 

EVA: oh! i didn’t know you watch the news. that’s good, i was worried it was just the shitty game shows. you still watch those sometimes? 

MELODY: yes. 

EVA: god, those’ll rot your brain. you’re still reading though, right? keeping up with your schoolwork? 

MELODY: it’s-

EVA: shit, oh i’m sorry, i forgot i was still in my uniform. one sec, i’ll go change. do we have food for dinner? 

MELODY: no. 

EVA: great, i’ll whip something up… 

EVA exits. MELODY flips the channels. 

MELODY: a woman. long dark hair, pale legs. do they make her wax them? or is it laser? they stretch on for miles. the bottoms of her shoes are stained. she pulls at her long hem, lifts it past her waist, revealing more skin. the man, he can’t take his eyes away. he’s a super spy, they call him suave. now they’re kissing, mechanically pressing their faces together, lips smack at a rate of twice per three seconds. a hand on the small of her back. she smells like apple blossoms. big screen debut. straight to DVD. streaming late. X-Rated cut available at your local video store. 

EVA enters once more. 

EVA: it’s trashed in here. 

she starts gathering up the cans and packages. 

EVA: you’ve got to tell me when it gets like this, you know i don’t notice these things. 

MELODY flips the channel. 

EVA: hey, have you talked to kelsey recently? 

MELODY: no. she moved. 

EVA: you could call-

MELODY: they don’t like how i talk over the phone. 

EVA: why?

MELODY: she said i breathe too loud. 

EVA looks at her. MELODY breathes loudly. 

EVA: okay, okay- i just worry you aren’t talking to anyone.

MELODY: i talk to lots of people-

EVA: food delivery men /don’t count- 

MELODY: like 16. i call them friends. 

EVA: the food delivery /people?  MELODY: no. i have friends. they live far away but we can still talk. 

EVA: good, good. sorry. i don’t mean to be an "overbearing older sister", i know you can fend for yourself. just… i was talking to tess last week, and she has two younger brothers. she told me, the other day she came home, and she saw them just staring at the TV. like, she couldn’t tear them away. and their eyes were huge, she said she thought they’d taken something because their pupils were the size of palms. and they were just watching… nothing. it was incomprehensible to her, tess said it was like a mix of static, like the TV was broken but the people on it just kept talking and talking, and they looked all wrong, like their limbs were stretched at odd angles or the skin on their faces didn’t fit right… i just get worried about what you’re watching all day. i don’t know if it’s good for you to be all alone up here. 

MELODY: where else am i supposed to go? 

EVA: yeah… i don’t know. 

MELODY: the air’s not safe. 

EVA: i know. you could-

MELODY: i can’t go to school. 

EVA: why not? 

MELODY: because no one likes me. 

EVA: that’s not true. 

MELODY: i look weird. 

EVA: no, you don’t. who told you that?

MELODY: how’s work? 

EVA: melody. 

MELODY: forget i said anything. i didn’t mean it. how’s work?

EVA: it’s… fine. same as always. it doesn’t get any better. 

MELODY: you don’t get used to it?

EVA: no. 

MELODY: sometimes i think i look like a pig. 

MELODY twists her face like a pig. EVA stares. 

EVA: you don’t. 

MELODY: i see my reflection. oink, oink. 

EVA: stop that. 

MELODY: oink, /oink, oink oink- 

EVA: melody, i said stop it, please-

EVA approaches MELODY and the TV. 

MELODY: NO!! 

EVA gasps, stops dead in her tracks. 

EVA: what?? are you okay? 

MELODY: …yes.

EVA: melody. 

MELODY: eva. 

EVA: what are you watching? 

MELODY: eva. 

EVA: what are you watching? 

MELODY: NOTHING. 

EVA runs over to the TV. MELODY tries to stop her but can’t. 

EVA: what the fuck is this?? who- 

silence. the two stare at the TV, watching the action unfold. slowly, EVA is horrified. 

EVA: WHAT THE FUCK-

MELODY: eva! 

EVA: what the hell is that??? 

MELODY: i’ve seen it before-

EVA: WHAT? 

MELODY: i thought you weren’t squeamish. 

EVA: those are PEOPLE, /MELODY-

MELODY: I HAD A DREAM ONCE WHERE I WAS A PIG AND YOU KILLED ME. 

EVA: oh god, melody.

MELODY: you hacked my head off. my ears were like this.

she holds her hands up like ears, droops them.

EVA: melody.

MELODY: don't apologize.

EVA: i'm so sorry.

MELODY: you shouldn't be.

EVA: i didn't know you were- how easy it is to find shit like that-

MELODY: i like it.

EVA: why?

MELODY: reminds me of you. slaughterhouse. except it makes me feel safe, because you're not a pig. you're one of the killers. so you'll live.

EVA stares.

MELODY: i don't know what i am, yet.

EVA: come here.

MELODY: the stranger paradigm. new innovations in reality TV. 16 go in, only one comes out.

EVA: come here, melody.

MELODY: will they care for each other, or fight to escape? they always leave. have you ever heard of a rat king?

EVA: melody. 

MELODY: no. 

EVA: come here, please.

MELODY: no, i know what you want. you're going to hurt them.

EVA: no, i-

MELODY: you do. that's how you work.

EVA: COME HERE.  

MELODY: YOU WILL. YOU CAN'T TAKE THEM FROM ME.

EVA: for fuck's sake-

EVA lunges for the TV. 

MELODY: YOU CAN’T BECAUSE THIS IS ALL I HAVE- 

MELODY jumps on EVA.

EVA: GET OFF ME.

MELODY scratches at EVA. she draws blood.

MELODY: YOU CAN'T TAKE THEM-

EVA screams. the TV is smashed. MELODY drops, spams the remote, shakes the TV. it’s dead. 

EVA: melody… 

MELODY starts screaming. 

EVA: MELODY. 

EVA tries to hug MELODY, is rejected. EVA grabs onto MELODY, holds her close. MELODY sobs. 

MELODY: they’re all i have. 

EVA: i’m sorry. i’m so sorry. 

MELODY: eva-

EVA: i’m sorry. it's going to be okay.

MELODY: HOW?

EVA: we'll get you a job, or something. we'll get you out.

MELODY: i don't want to be like you.

EVA: i know, i know. i know.

EVA comforts MELODY. fade to black. 

AUTHOR’S NOTES

not going to lie i’m really attached to these characters. pacing is fucked but i quite frankly do not have the energy to fix it. will maybe post another draft at another time!

what did i listen to while writing this? melanie martinez’s cry baby album :)

[chvoswxtch]

Can I get a smut/fluff matt murdock. He gets home before you which is odd when he realizes that your at the boxing studio trying to get out your frustration on the kingpin case.

hi angel! sorry this took so long!! I hope this is what you were looking for. :) thank you so much for the request!

warning: contains sexual content. as always, minors please dni. also I was listening to not afraid anymore by halsey while writing this which inspired the title and the spicy part heheh, just a little fun fact. listening is optional! word count: 2.3k

not afraid anymore.

Matt had never seen you angry before. He didn’t think he had ever even heard you raise your voice at anyone before. Sure he had seen you annoyed, frustrated, stressed, even cranky when sleep had evaded you and the sweet relief of caffeine hadn’t yet hit your bloodstream; but never anything stronger. Anger was an emotion Matt was all too familiar with, one that oftentimes got the best of him, but one he hadn’t yet seen come out in you. Which is why he was shocked to say the least when he found you at Fogwell’s wailing down on a worn out punching bag with an intensity that nearly rivaled his own. 

Not only was he stunned with the force behind your punches, but also the impressiveness of your form, like you had done this before. Like this was some familiar routine of yours he had somehow missed. Matt searched the depths of his brain for any piece of conversation or any anecdote that would put the scene taking place in front of him into focus. You had never mentioned an interest in boxing before. You were a pacifist as far as Matt knew. You had asked him questions about his father when Matt first told you about him, and first brought you to Fogwell’s to show you where he trained sometimes, but your inquisitions were only about Matt’s better childhood memories, not his father’s career or his own training. 

Had he missed something? He remembers coaxing you into the ring with him once with a promise of teaching you how to throw a punch, something he did think you should know, but the lesson was soon forgotten when the two of you ended up a tangled mess on the mat instead; lessons and clothes long forgotten. He tilted his head to the side slightly as he honed in on your body. Your heart was thrashing against your rib cage, breaths jagged and shallow as you threw hit after hit. Sweat glued loose strands of hair to your face and heat pooled in your cheeks as tiny grunts of anger left your lips every so often. Matt was stupefied in place by the palpable rage he felt flowing freely through your veins. He didn’t know whether to be concerned, proud, or turned on.

Had something happened today to set you off? You weren’t at the apartment when Matt got home, which was unusual considering you were always home before him. But there were times you had to stay late at work, and he figured you must have been caught up in a project and forgot to tell him that you would be late. But then another hour went by and he still hadn’t heard from you. He called your phone three times but you didn’t answer. He checked with Foggy and Karen, and neither of them had heard from you either. After stopping by your office and hearing the security guard confirm you had left for the day hours earlier, Matt started to panic. He tried his hardest to steady his inexorable anxiety, focusing solely on your scent and following the invisible trail you left behind. His mind raced with worst possible case scenarios as he swiftly navigated the busy streets of Hell’s Kitchen. Matt was so lost in his own head, he didn’t even recognize where he was when he stopped in front of a building where your scent had stopped. It took him a minute to register that he was standing in front of Fogwell’s, confusion settling in further when he heard someone inside. As he quietly stepped through the doors, he felt like the wind had been knocked out of him when he realized that someone was you. 

Matt had been standing here for ten minutes. Your scent was incredibly faint, but it was unmistakably yours. He would know it anywhere. But it was also…his? He recognized the scent of his own shampoo and body wash lingering on you, completely masking the sweet citrus of your usual products. Is that why he hadn’t sensed you being in here before in any of his previous visits? How long had you been coming here without him? Why hadn’t you told him about it? Why were you going to lengths to hide it from him? Without thinking, he took a step forward towards you, freezing when his shoe made a squeak against the floor. You paused only for a moment, scoffing in annoyance before returning your fists to the bag.

“Jess, you know I hate it when you’re late and don’t tell me you’re going to be. Seriously, a text takes 5 seconds.”

Jess? Surely you didn’t mean…

“Please tell me you don’t mean Jessica Jones.”

This time when you faltered, Matt heard a sharp gasp leave your lips and the skip in your heartbeat. Your heart was still pounding in your chest, but not with anger. Matt could feel the swift change in your demeanor, all that fiery rage icing over with trepidation as you slowly turned around.

“What are you doing here?”

Your voice was quieter this time, almost small like a child who had been caught doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing. Matt furrowed his brows as he cocked his head to the side, settling both of his hands on his hips.

“I could ask you the same thing, sweetheart. What’s going on?”

He heard a soft sigh of defeat leave your lips, wiping some of the sweat off your forehead with the back of your wrapped hand. You both knew an excuse was no use. There was no lying to him, and he would get the truth out of you one way or another.

“Jess…is teaching me.”

“Teaching you? Teaching you what? And since when is she Jess?”

“Since she’s my friend, Matt. She’s just…teaching me how to protect myself.”

“How to protect yourself?”

“Among other things.”

“What other things?”

Matt didn’t know what answer he was expecting from you, but it certainly wasn’t that. Since when were you close with Jessica? Why was she teaching you? When the hell did this start? Why didn’t she say anything to him about it? Anger began to simmer in Matt’s blood knowing Jessica had been keeping this secret from him. God only knows what the hell kind of shit she was filling your head with.

“Self defense, that’s all.”

“Why didn’t you come to me? Why have you been hiding this from me? I thought we didn’t have secrets.”

Matt tried to dispel the sting he felt at the realization that you had gone to someone else besides him for this, and that you had been hiding it purposefully. It must have been evident in his voice, because he heard the guilt in yours when you spoke. 

“I…I didn’t think you would teach me. I didn’t think you would want to. And I thought you would be mad if I told you what I was doing. I’m sorry, Matt. I didn’t-I only kept it from you because I didn’t want you to be angry with me. Please don’t be upset with Jess, I made her promise not to tell you.”

“Sweetheart, I offered to teach you how to hit.”

“Yeah, how to punch Matt. But would you have taught me how to disarm a gun from someone? How to block a knife? How to take someone down twice my size and strength?”

Matt’s perplexity only grew with every word you spoke. He stepped forward until he was standing in front of you, cradling your face in his hands and gazing blankly down at you in pure concern.

“Angel, why do you need to know all that? What’s this about? What’s going on?”

“I don’t want to be scared, Matt.”

“Scared of what, honey?”

“Fisk.”

Matt felt a pang in his chest at the vulnerability in your voice, but it was nothing compared to the guilt that flooded him at your confession. 

“Sweetheart…you know I would never let anything happen to you, right? You know I’m always going to protect you. Please tell me you know that.”

“I know that, Matt. But I also know what you and Foggy and Karen have planned…it’s brilliant. It’s a really good strategy, but you know it’s going to piss him off. He’s going to retaliate, someway, and I am not going to be a goddamn damsel in distress. I don’t want to be afraid of that asshole, or whatever sinister plans he has. I don’t want you to have to worry about protecting me. I want to be able to hold my own. I don’t want to be…I’m not afraid anymore.”

Matt, Foggy, and Karen had been working on a way to bring Fisk down in court. They finally had a break discovering a huge piece of damning evidence, but they had to play it just right. It was a huge risk, and they all knew the reward would be just as huge, but so could the consequences. The plan was to take Fisk down within the confines of the law, as far down as they could. They had been working on it for months, and Matt suddenly felt remorseful that he hadn’t checked in on how you felt about it all. Of course you knew what was going on and what they were planning. He had kept you completely in the loop. But he hadn’t taken a moment to sit down with you and talk about what this could mean, and to discuss any apprehensions you might have had. He hadn’t taken the time to put your mind at ease about the foreboding consequences. He just assumed you knew he would do anything in his power to protect you. Matt never once considered that you would want the power to protect yourself. 

“I…I’m sorry, angel. I never…I just assumed you knew that I would take care of you. That I would protect you. I never stopped to ask you how you felt about all of this-“

“Matt, I want you guys to do this. You have to do this. Fisk has made a career of hurting innocent people, and hurting the people that I love more than anything in this world time and time again. I don’t want to have to worry about something happening to Karen or Foggy because of him. I don’t want to even think about losing you because of him. I want you to take him down, for good. I just want to be prepared for when you do.”

There was an edge to your voice Matt had never heard before. This side of you was entirely new to him. He had only ever known you as gentle and soft spoken. You weren’t a pushover by any means, and had no problems being firm when you had to be, but this was different. There was venom lacing your words when you spoke about Fisk, even a hint of a warning in your low tone. Your heart was pounding at a furious pace, but with an honest rhythm. You meant every word, and Matt didn’t think he had ever been so fucking turned on in his entire life.

“Alright, sweetheart. Show me what you can do.”

After about thirteen tries, you managed to take him down. Although that had more to do with Matt growing impatient and his throbbing cock aching for attention. He let you take him down, but he would confess that later. He’d let you try again for real another time. But right now, he needed you. His hands gripped hungrily at your hips as you writhed on top of him with insatiable desire. The entire gym was filled with the echoes of your hips colliding together at a ravenous pace, a cacophony of your lascivious moans and Matt’s filthy praises pushing you for more. A devilish grin overtook his mouth as his hand wrapped tightly around your throat, deciding to get a little revenge with his pleasure. 

“That’s my fucking girl. Let go for me, let me have it. Let me have it all. Scream for me, angel. Wanna hear my name coming from that pretty mouth.”

Matt didn’t bother holding back his own shout of pleasure when your walls tightened around him, triggering his own powerful release. He chuckled darkly at the sound of the door slamming shut and the groan of disgust that resounded throughout the space.

“Jesus fucking Christ, you two. Matthew, you fucking asshole. I know you heard me coming, you little shit. You could’ve warned me.”

“You could’ve told me the truth about what you were doing with my girlfriend, Jones. We’re even.”

“We are so far from fucking even. The amount of therapy I am going to need-“

“Like you would actually go to therapy.”

“Okay, can you two not argue right now? Seriously I am naked, and Matt you are literally still inside me. Jess, you’re late, and if you hadn’t been late, we wouldn’t be in this situation right now.”

Matt snickered as he lazily grabbed his shirt, lifting it up to cover your breasts before resting both of his arms behind his head with a satisfied grin. 

“So technically, this is all your fault.”

“Fuck you, Murdock. I’m sending you a bill for emotional distress. I accept payments in cash and bourbon. Also, I don’t know why you bothered covering her up. Nothing I haven’t seen before.”

Matt nearly choked on his own spit at those words, quickly sitting up on his palms with furrowed brows as his eyes darted blankly between the two of you rapidly.

“Wait, what?”

“None of your business. I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N/N.”

Matt gazed at you in shock for the second time that night, a symphony of your giggles hitting his ears as you leaned in to wrap your arms around his neck and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

“Let’s go home, Matty.”

[dialovers-lover-xoxo]

If you want to cry, you’re in the right place

The Sakamaki’s reaction to their s/o waking up from a bad accident with no memories

It’s an x-reader bu also from the diaboy’s perspective

Trigger Warning: Memory loss

Mukamis, Tsukinamis, and Kino’s version is linked at the end

——————————————————————

Shu

——-

The doctor walked out of your room and faced Shu, who looked up at him. “She’s awake but-“ Shu had already gotten off his chair, pushed past him, and dropped into the seat next to your bed, clutching your hands in both of his. You turned at him and his heart dropped when you asked him a question. “Uh...who are you?” Shu’s eyes widened in horror, his chest felt like it was compressing to the size of a pebble. “You...no...you really don’t...?” You shook your head. “I’m sorry, but I don’t remember you. I don’t...I don’t remember anything.” Tears sprang into Shu’s eyes. He felt like he was falling, spiraling into an endless abyss of darkness, and all he could think was, no, not again.

Reiji

——-

Reiji stroked your hair, applying more medicine to your injuries, which were thankfully healing well. You groaned quietly and your eyelids fluttered open. Reiji let out a gasp of relief, saying your name. “Who-who are you?” You asked Reiji. What killed him the most was that you didn’t even sound dazed, so you weren’t just foggy from the injury. But...you couldn’t have...? No, it wasn’t possible. Reiji had saved you in time, he’d given you only the best medicines and treatment. So why...? “No, you must not be recovered yet.” Reiji told you, forcing himself to stay calm. “No, I feel fine.” You sat up and Reiji saw that you sat up just fine on your own. Under any other circumstances, he’d be thrilled you recovered so quickly, but now it just sent a pang through his heart. He couldn’t even fool himself into thinking that you were still recovering and that’s why you couldn’t remember him. You really had...forgotten him. “No, I’ll-I’ll fix this. I’m going to recover your memories.”

Ayato

———

Damn, that four-eyes still wasn’t finished? Wasn’t he so damn great at this stuff? What was taking him so long? Ayato paced back and forth, anxiety and fear tearing him to shreds on the inside. Reiji opened the door and Ayato whirled around. “Ayato,” Reiji said, his tone surprisingly gentle. “Reiji! Is she okay? What’s going on?” He added when Reiji’s face became downcast at his first question. “Ayato...she has no memories.” Ayato’s stomach lurched. He ran past Reiji and into the room Reiji was keeping you in. You were struggling to sit up when he came in. He helped you sit up and kneeled down by the bed. “You’re okay, right? You’re okay?” “I’m fine...just...I don’t know...anything.” Ayato’s eyes welled with tears. Reiji was telling the truth. But...how could you forgot him? “But...we laughed! And-and-and...we’ve kissed and you’ve helped-“ Ayato rambled on, desperately trying to make you relive your whole relationship with him. He started to cry, hanging his head. “I’m sorry...” you told him. Ayato shook his head, quietly sobbing. He was the great Ayato. He could get you to fall in love with him again.

Kanato

————-

Kanato kneeled down besides your bed. “Dollie?” He asked, with a small hopeful smile. You stirred and blinked. “Huh...?” Kanato beamed. “Fangs!” You exclaimed. Kanato frowned, his eyebrows narrowing. “What are you talking about? You know I have fangs, don’t you?” “N-no, I don’t...” you said, backing away until your body was pressed up against the wall, as far from Kanato as you could be. Kanato stared at you. Why were you suddenly so afraid of him? He couldn’t even remember the last time you had looked this frightened. You had come to love his fangs! “Don’t play with me!” Kanato said angrily. Your eyes shone with fear and he softened his expression and tone. “Now that you’ve recovered, I’d like you to kiss me please.” “I-I can’t.” “Why not?” “I don’t even know you. I don’t even know me.” You told him. Kanato blinked as tears rolled down your face. They started to roll down his cheeks as well. “No...no, you have to remember me!” Kanato yelled, smashing a lamp on your bedside table. You screamed and cried harder. Kanato’s entire body shook. He’d do whatever he had to to make you remember him.

Laito

———

“Princess?” Laito asked, patting your shoulder gently. He had taken you home. You had no visible injuries and Reiji had checked all over. Nothing was wrong, so why weren’t you waking up? You woke with a slight gasp and Laito beamed. You slowly moved yourself into a sitting position. “Who are you?” You asked. “Who am I?” Laito blinked. “It’s me, Laito. Look, see? Me.” Laito smiled, holding your hand. You shook your head sadly. “I don’t know anything...about anyone. I’m sorry.” Panic welled up in Laito’s chest but he forced it down. “No, no, you’re okay.” He said in a quiet, soothing tone. “You’re-you’re-“ Laito choked up, tears streaming down his grief-stricken face. “You’re okay.” He cried quietly, falling to his knees. He didn’t move for a long time.

Subaru

————

It was his fault, all his fault. How could he fail to save the one thing he loved most? A dark thought answered him. Because you’re a worthless filthy monster. You shouldn’t be put in charge of someone as precious as her. Tears sprang in his eyes. Of course that was the answer. But that didn’t mean he didn’t love you, wouldn’t do anything to save you. His back shook as he cried next to your bed, hoping for you to wake up. You woke up and blinked, seeing a sobbing man next to your bed. “Who-who are you?” Subaru looked up. You had forgotten him entirely? After an accident like that he expected some sort of brain damage but...he never anticipated this. “I’m...” This is your chance, said the voice. Rid her of you forever. She’ll be better off. Subaru forced down a sob and, for once, he didn’t let that voice tell him what to do, he didn’t agree with what it said. The two of you loved each other, he knew that, and he wasn’t going to give up on you. He stood tall and faced you. “I’m Subaru. Your lover.”

——————————————————————

I know these are sad but I left them ambiguous and yall are free to imagine a happy or sad ending to any of them

In fact if you want to create a short fanfic of your own interpretation following what I wrote, you’re more than welcome too!

Behind the writing fact: I was originally going to make Subaru’s a lot sadder, with him saying he wasn’t important and the reader didn’t need to remember him while the reader insisted he must be important to her life. I ultimately decided against that because I wanted it to be more uplifting, with him starting to overcome his self-hatred in favor of love

[4joonkookie]

After Midnight

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

Words: 1.8K

Warnings/Tags: shameless smut, fuckboi!Namjoon, choking, strangling, reverse cowgirl,thigh riding, ruined orgasm, angst, fluff, masturbation, mutual masturbation.

Summary: You prey on Namjoon when he can’t be peeled away from his work in the studio and after a slight speed bump, it continues in the bedroom.

OR

(In order) thigh riding, Yoongi Cameo, ruined orgasm, mutual masturbation, (eventual orgasms) and reverse cowgirl.

It’s Midnight.

You’ve been waiting in bed almost 2 hours for Namjoon to finish in the studio. You texted again and he’s been “almost done” for over an hour now.

You’re panty-clad only but throw on his nearby hoodie and quietly head downstairs to fetch him. You gently open the studio door, hoping not to disturb anyone.

“Hey.”, he turns from a computer screen as you close the door behind you.

He quickly turns his attention back to the screen, engrossed in his work. You reach him and turn the rolling chair just enough to squeeze onto his lap.

“Almost, I swear.”, he says, eyes not leaving the computer screen.

“You said that at 10.”, you whine, placing little kisses on his neck.

You brace yourself on his lap and lean forward facing away from him to reach the mouse of the computer, closing all of the applications.

“Oh I like this”, he says, grazing his hands over your near-bare ass and admiring this coincidental view. He’s pleasantly distracted until he sees what you’re doing.

“Wait , wait, wait, I'm not do__…”, he begins to scold you.

“You’re done.”, you look at him convincingly and nod, turning to straddle him face-to-face in the chair. You bluff, “...unless you’d like me to go.” beginning to stand from his lap.

He uses a large arm to pull you back straight away and locks his lips with yours.

“Mmph… 20 minutes...”, he negotiates between heated kisses. Just give me 20 minutes and I’ll head upstairs and we can finish this.”, he says, grinding his lap up.

“We haven’t started anything yet.”, you groan as you reach for the waistband of his shorts.

He lifts you by your waist and spreads your legs over one of his thighs. He begins guiding your hips back and forth and you both groan into the feeling.

“We can start like this.” he says.

“Not while you’re working.”, you counter, wanting, needing to be more important.

“No?” he says, not letting his lips leave yours but rolls the both of you back to the computer.

He lifts you off his lap briefly to raise one leg of his shorts and pulls your panties to the side. Your lips hug his bare thigh, dragging your swelling center over his smooth skin. He pushes his leg up, causing you to cry out.

The moisture flowing allows you to slide easily, Namjoon keeping his leg firm in place. The increase in sensation makes your mind foggy but you tease anyway:

“And exactly how many girls have you convinced to grind on you while you work in this studio?, you ask, not disrupting the rhythm you've created.

“None that look as good in my sweater as you do”, he says softly, sliding a hand under the sweater and feeling up your breasts underneath.

Your core slips and slides on his thigh, orgasm hot in your belly. You try to distract yourself to pull him farther from even considering touching that computer again.

“Mmmm...and how many girls have worn your sweater?”, you moan in his ear, grinding with pleasure.

“None that look as sexy with my hand wrapped around their neck as you do.”, he replies, not missing a beat. Damn. His hand in the sweater grips around your throat with light pressure, Namjoon eoying watching your boobs bounce while you move on him.’

“More?” he asks.

“More.”,you reply, moans becoming needier and breathier.

The sweater rides higher on your body when he squeezes your neck a bit tighter, pushing you down on his thigh harder. You’re swept away, hips moving instinctively, chasing the climax.

“Come, baby. Make a mess on me.” He swoons and tightens his grip on your throat ,catapulting you to your orgasm. Your legs are shaking when the studio door swings open.

Only you can see a mortified Yoongi squint his eyes shut, use a hand to cover his already shut eyes and never lets the other hand leave the door handle before slamming it back shut.

“Oh my God.” you say, humiliated and softly and drop your head to Namjoon’s shoulder.

“ ...I forgot.”,he says, frozen with his hands on your waist. He was expecting Yoongi.

“You knew he was coming?!”, you grip his shoulders, feeling your blood boil.

“I asked him to come down to help me finish_”

“Ugh!” You grunt, interrupting. You angrily hop off his lap. “Have him finish you off then, see if I care!”.

You storm out of the studio, not even minding Yoongi still outside the door with a view of your bare ass, trotting away.

Stomping upstairs, you return to the bedroom. You take off Namjoon’s sweatshirt, your body overheated with embarrassment and ruined orgasm. You shut off the lights, hide under the blanket and hope to fall asleep and put off the discomfort and frustration until morning.

You expect Namjoon to stay with Yoongi in the studio and are surprised when a flash of light pans the room when the door opens. The lights turn on and he laughs when he sees your curled up body under the blankets, surely pouting. He jumps on the bed and wrestles you out from underneath the blanket.

“You pull tight at the covers and fight to keep shielded.” He finds your ribs on your blanketed form and tickles you until you let go of the sheets. You greeted with his sweet smile.

“Don’t be embarrassed…” he begins.

“But I am.”, you snap back more roughly than you intend. “I’m embarrassed that I had to literally hunt and pin you down to try and get laid.”, you're noticing real feelings coming out under the heat of embarrassment. “That I had to all but beg to tear you away from your work.”

He hangs his head in realization. He looks at you to speak. “I'm sorry, you’re right...”, he says, sincerely. He continues “....but I'm so glad you did...”, insufferably sweet.

“ Well, next time I won't.”, you reply, still cross with him. “I’ll just take care of it myself.”

“Only if you let me watch.”, he teases and begins to stroke your body and kiss your neck. It’s enticing but your ego is still bruised and you’re not ready to give back in to him yet.

“Take off Your pants.”, you demand and gesture at him to sit on the end of the bed. He complies readily, undresses and sits with his exposed cock on one end of the bed.

You pull the still-sticky panties off your body and get on all-fours to arrange pillows on the opposite end of Namjoon, revealing your ass to him. You mimic the view he’d enjoyed earlier. You gather several pillows to prop your back up and use one to sit on.

You settle yourself on the pillow and spread your thighs apart to expose your glistening cunt, still wet. Namjoon’s cock swells further, eyes darting across your body while his brain catches up to his dick.

You begin by dragging some wetness above to your clit. Your leg twitches when you move over the sensitive nub. You use the flat pads of 2 fingers to circle around, breath quickening.

Namjoon runs an antsy hand through his hair while exhaling deeply, mesmerized.

“Fuck baby…”, he groans while grabbing at the base of his leaking cock.

You spread wetness around your opening before sinking your middle and ring finger inside. Using your other hand to spread your lips apart so Namjoon can see.

He moans and uses building precum to turn his wrist around his shaft.

The image of him working his own cock propels you faster, rubbing faster and your pelvis instinctively grinds against your own fingers.

Namjoon strokes up and down his length. “You sure you don’t want to come over here, baby?”, he growls, tempting you with his dripping cock.

You look at him thoughtfully for a half-second before nearly pouncing on him across the bed. You’d kill to get that moment on his thighs back. It’s an offer that can’t be denied.

You straddle the same thigh and settle yourself on either side. Namjoon is keen on your idea and replaces his hand around your neck.

“Where were we?”, he whispers, setting a rhythm with his lap.

“I was telling you how sexy you looked with my hand wrapped around your neck…”

It’s just a few rolls Of your hips before the sensation captures you again.

“...and how I wanted that pretty pussy to make a mess on me”, he praises.

You start to see white when his grip tightens around your neck.

“Mmm...Joonie” you moan as your peak takes you over.. He keeps his grip tight on your throat until your orgasm and hips roll slower.

“Turn around.'' he says. You can hardly make out what he’s saying in your blissed state but turn to allow him to envelope his cock inside you.

He groans when you bottom out, You rotate your hips, grinding over his shaft until Namjoon can’t control his breathing.

He lays little slaps on your skin, grabbing and groping your ass cheeks.

You rotate your hips, grinding over his shaft.

“mmmph_ I love the way you move.”, he praises. You glance back to find him with one hand behind his neck and the other guiding your ass as it bounces, eyes fixated on the work on his cock.

You arch your back, and he uses his hand to keep you high up, impossibly deep. He pushes down on your shoulders as he thrusts from below you, eventually lifting himself up to his knees for a better angle. He still pushes the small of your back to guide you around his cock.

He gorans out and moves faster causing you to lose your balance. He doesn’t let you slip off but catches you bent on all fours, never losing stride.

“I’m gonna make a mess of that pussy, baby.”, he threatens as he fucks his orgasm into you. He keeps his rapid pace and bottoms out a final time.

He falls beside you and gives your ass a rewarding rub.

“I’m sorry.”, he begins. “It’s hard for me to walk away from work”, he says, still catching his breath. “ But you’re a welcome distraction. and I love it when you ‘hunt and pin’ me down.” he kisses you.

In a teasing tone, he continues, “And how many guys have watched you touch yourself like that?”

He looks truly curious but you leave him guessing anyway.

“None that look as sexy watching me as you do”. You tease back as you stroke his cheek.

[thesmokingguns]

Off To the Races

Pairing: Nikki Sixx!Douglas Booth

Request: Off To The Races by Lana Del Rey

Summary: You are my one true love. She is there for him at all of his worst moments. Coaxing him through his high, making him smile and laugh. She’s at parties dancing with her red smile calling for him. She’s swimming in the pool when he’s drunk and stoned. She’s there through it all. No ones loved Nikki like her. All consuming. His only thought. She is his entire world. And his works is crumbling.

Warning: Heavy themes of drug use, drug induced hallucinations, alcohol abuse, suicidal thoughts.

Word Count: 2270

Taglist: @littlemisscare-all​​​​​ @ayablackwood​​​​​ @agroupiewhore@thenobodies-inc​​​​​ @dannasixxworld​​​​ @val-sixx​​​​@nikkisqueenofsleaze​​​​ @rocknrollsoul76​ @aggressive-slytherin​

My old man is a bad man, but

I can't deny the way he holds my hand

And he grabs me, he has me by my heart

He doesn't mind I have a Las Vegas past

He doesn't mind I have a L.A. crass way about me

He loves me, with every beat of his cocaine heart

My eyes are heavy, fingers twisting the belt around my arm to loosen the pressure. The needle drops to the floor, the carpet holding any sound in. Blinking, looking around the cramped closet I see my journal, my revolver, and more smack for after this dosage.

What a life.

My head rolls back smacking the wood paneling with a dull thud that vibrates through me. My hands shaking, waves of fingers in front of me. There’s a bit of blood coming from the injection pin prick in my arm and I’m find myself stumbling to my feet, sweeping the gun off the floor and tucking it in the waistband of my jeans as I head to the bathroom.

It’s washing over me, the feeling I’m always chasing. The fleeting moment of happiness is like a warm blanket wrapping itself around me.

The giggle stops me in my tracks, eyes searching the hallway searching for her. I thought she had left after our last fight. She called me a quitter and was mad I was giving up my partying ways. She loved to have a good time and she thought I was giving up on her.

Guess she was wrong.

The flash of brown hair catches my attention and I’m stumbling, laughing as I chase her through the house. Her laughter was infectious and made me forget about the blood dripping down my forearm.

In the kitchen she turns, giving me that megawatt smile that felt like my heart was feeling something other than the melancholy that usually filled it. She stops and lets me catch her, letting me wrap my arms around her holding her close to me. Smelling the exotic sweetness of her hair as she engulfs me with her golden skin, bangles tinkling down her arms like a musical number.

Safe and warm, happiness and euphoria of her presence with me here. The place that was my Mecca of solitude. Pulling back, confused for a second I try to think about how she got here.

“How did you get in?” As if she senses the confusion in my voice she kisses me, giving me no doubt she is here with me. Warm and solitude against my skin, fire in my veins.

“You let me in.” She purred, letting her mouth kiss along my jawline. Soft hot breath tickling me as she pressed against me, bumping the gun as she rolled her body against mine. “It looks like you’re locked and loaded, ready to go.” Her hands in my hair as she’s touching parts of me I forgot existed.

God I missed this.

Swimmin' pool glimmerin', darling

White bikini off with my red nail polish

Watch me in the swimmin' pool, bright blue ripples

You sittin', sippin' on your Black Cristal, oh yeah

Light of my life, fire of my loins

Be a good baby, do what I want

Light of my life, fire of my loin

I wake up with a gasp.

What time is it? What day is it? Where am I?

Looking around, frantic panic as I realize I’m asleep in the lawn chair by the pool. An empty bottle of Jack Daniels is smashed beside me, glass decorating the concrete in sharp glares of warning.

The sound of a splash throws me off and there she is. Her brown hair wet as she rests her elbows outside the pool, placing her head in her hands with that gleaming smile.

“Well hello sleepyhead. Did you have good dreams?” I don’t know if she’s asking out of kindness or mocking me. I’m drenched in sweat, possibly from falling asleep in the LA afternoon but most likely from the night terrors that always haunt me.

I dreamt I was running. From who or from what was the issue. Everything in my brain was foggy. My eyes snapped up at the setting sun. Has it been a full day already? Was it longer?

The phone rang from inside the house and I knew it must be someone from the band calling or my drug dealer. One of those felt more important than the other and I wasn’t ready to admit which one that was.

I got up, swearing as a piece of glass cut open my door, glaring as she giggle and dipped under the water. A trail of blood followed me into the house as I picked up the phone.

“Hello.” My voice felt gruff and it hurt to talk, like I hadn’t used it in a while. My head was killing me and I felt ready to throw up.

What the fuck had I been doing?

“Jesus Nikki, we’ve been trying to reach you for a week.” A week? I had lost hours, maybe a day here and there but a whole week. Jesus Christ. “Are you okay man? Why don’t you come out tonight with us?” Tommy was begging me and I sighed.

I was embarrassed. I didn’t want everyone to see me when I had been on a bender. I hadn’t seen what I looked like yet but I was sure that it was like hell.

“I don’t know, T-Bone. I think I have the flu or something. I just don’t feel great.” It wasn’t exactly a lie.

Something fluttered beside me and there she was. A white dress on her thin frame. How had she dried off and changed so quickly? Was I loosing more time? Eyes shining as she held out a silver platter of white powder. She loved to party and must have known that my band would want to see me out. At least if I was doing coke with them they didn’t have to worry about finding me dead.

“Where are you going to be?” I relented, watching her twirl. The energy coming off her was exhilarating and I wanted to join her in the ever present state of delight.

My nose was down against the lines, snorting messily, my brain burning, eyes widening as I sniffed a few times to get the whole lot out of my nose. Wiping and then turning to her.

“Let’s get you cleaned up and ready to go out on the town.” She was leading me to the bathroom. My blood rushing everywhere as I was alive and awake and fucking ready to party.

I need you to come here and save me

I'm your little scarlet, starlet, singin' in the garden

Kiss me on my open mouth

Ready for you

Why had I agreed to go to a club?

In the booth we had a mess of drugs, pills and coke scattered on the table like appetizers. Bottles of booze and half empty beer bottles added to the maze of debauchery.

How long have I been here?

I couldn’t remember driving or even getting to the club. All I could remember was hands all over me in the shower, washing the filth off myself. The gentle voice reminded me to wear long sleeves to hide my track marks.

My eyes searched for her. In the sea of women I was sure she would stand out. But all the flashing lights and the noise was confusing me.

The room was spinning, the conversation around me overwhelming me and I could feel Tommy’s hand on my back. My head rolled back, the club's lightning needed to be updated.

A hand was smacking my face and I saw Tommy, wide eyed, looking at me before I turned to the table, throwing up the only thing I had in my body. Brown liquid shot out, mixed with the acid in the stomach. It didn’t stop for what felt like a full minute.

When I finished, puke leaking down in steady droplets to the floor I grabbed a beer tang I had missed and chugged the foamy substance down. I tried not to make eye contact with the people giving us disgusting sneers.

“Oh baby, why don’t you let me take you home? Let me take care of you.” Her hands wrapped around me and I turned, nodding. Confused looks from everyone as I climbed out, reaching for her to take me back into the safety of her arms.

Light of his life, fire of his loins

Keep me forever, tell me you own me

Light of your life, fire of your loins

Her fingers were in my hair as I laid on her lap. The fire from my lighter hitting my pipe as I inhaled and exhaled the sweet delight.

Freebasing in my closet. But at least I wasn’t alone. I had her with me and that changed my usual mood of wanting to slit my wrists or press the gun against my head and pulling the trigger. Painting the inside of my closet with bits of skull fragments and blood-

“Come back to me.” Her voice was lulling me out of the dark place, pressing against my temples and using the magic of her voice to help me. She was the only one that was always there for me. Always making me feel better and dragging me from the pain of my life. Holding me in her arms, compassion and understanding.

She never judged me.

“Have we been here long?” She knew I liked to keep my responsibilities. I wanted to keep my appearance as the rockstar. I couldn’t let anyone know how bad that it had gotten. How I couldn’t stop. How doing drugs was the best part of my life. My one true love.

Except her. She was the one thing I loved more than drugs.

“You have band practice in a few hours.” She reminded me. Her voice was steady and calm, fingers running through my hair and keeping me calm as I took another hit.

I just needed a little more time before I could see anyone. Just a little more time in the closet with her holding me before going out into the world.

“Nikki, don’t let them tell you to give me up. I love you Nikki. Aren’t I the only one who has always been there for you? No one else cares for you like I do. They see you as a rockstar or as a junkie. But I see you. I see you.” Her words promised and I nodded my head, agreeing with her words. She was still so calm, even with the edge to her voice. The words stuck with me.

She saw me and I saw her too.

I'm sorry that I'm misbehaving

I'm your little harlot, starlet, Queen of Coney Island

Raisin' hell all over town

Sorry 'bout it

I didn’t want to go to band practice. I didn’t want them to see my shaking hands or ask my stupid fucking questions that didn’t matter.

At least she had agreed to go with me. Her brown hair wrapped in one of those silky driving scarfs like the 1960s, big sunglasses to hide the hangover in her eyes that she was surely feeling after we had partied. Her hand was on his lap, keeping him steady as he drove to the practice space.

Walking inside, I hide my eyes behind big sunglasses, I could feel the sweat glistening like a second skin on my body. Anxiety crippling me as I licked my lips wanting to get back to my house.

My eyes followed her, watching her move around the instruments shooting me a smile as she ran her hands down my bass. I couldn’t help but smile back at her.

“Yo, Nikki, are you okay?” Tommy’s voice made me turn away from her nodding as I sat down hard on the couch. I had never brought a girl to practice before so I was sure they were surprised to see her. To see me so happy with someone.

“Come here.” I held my arms open, watching her smile as she bounced towards me twisting around the guys as they watched me. The brunette plopped down on my lap and I held her close looking out at them.

“What are you playing at?” Vince asked, the confusion was written across his face and I felt angry. Vince had been parading chicks through band practice for years. And now he was acting like this? Fucking asshole.

“Cmon, show her some respect, dicks.” She was shifting in my arms holding onto me and purring sweet words in my ears, my eyes closing and only coming awake when Vince kicked my shin.

“Show who respect?” My eyes went up to look at her but she was glaring at them. Her eyes were on fire as if she was protecting me from the band.

“Nikki, we should go. Let’s go home and I’ll take care of you. You don’t need this. I don’t need this. This was a bad idea, Nikki. A very bad idea.” She was getting up tugging at me to leave.

“My girl.” I was standing gesturing at her beside me, watching the way her dark eyes were slits now. Anger so clear as she tried to wrap herself around me and get me away from them.

They sat there, no one saying a word as they looked at each other and than a me. I turned to look at her, panic was there as she stepped forward touching my face, my eyes closing at the sweet caresses from her fingers. My skin feeling alive like bristling fire under her touch

“It’s me and you Nikki. Don’t forget how I love you. I love you always. No judgement. No-“

“Nikki, no ones there.” Tommy’s voice came out soft and I turned to look from her to him, feeling the slender hand slip out of mine. I went to tell her to wait but she was gone.

Whirling around I saw it was just the band in the space, no mystery brunette anywhere in sight. I collapsed on the couch gripping my hair as my teeth gnashed together.

This was the furthest it had come. The lowest point of my drug addiction. In my loneliness I had created a woman out of heroin. Someone to make me feel less alone when I shot up.

I created love through a needle and that was when I knew I needed to stop if I ever wanted to love anything again.

I'm not afraid to say that I'd die without him

Who else is gonna put up with me this way?

I need you, I breathe you, I'll never leave you!

[collectivecloseness]

Oh woah I wasn't expecting you to write all that, god bless you. Girlie took one look at his cute face looking up at her, came all over his dick and nearly fell in love for a second lol I love that. And since Kurt got he wanted he would probably be the happiest little bunny afterwards, super thankful and cuddly. Wrapping his arms around your torso and clinging to your side like a koala, burrowing his head in your chest like "Mmm your the best!" and she has to consciously be like "Aww- wait stop, he is NOT cute. You can't think he's cute. He's a Terrible, Bad Guy, he is NOT cute."

Also idk what's wrong with me but the idea of Kurt throwing a mini tantrum when he's not getting fucked is the most adorable thing ever to me, that's my new headcanon now.

Np man! Thanks for sending it in. And no yeah he’s totally fucked out afterwards. You’d think he was doing all the hard work 🙄 lol but he absolutely uses the last bit of strength he has to roll you off him just a bit. Not too much, he still wants part of you on top of him, almost as if you wanted to be there if you’re on top, but he’s wrapping his arms around your side, breathing heavily into your chest as he holds you. He probably kisses up and down your face too, it was just instinct on his behalf, to give you those little kisses. And it definitely sparks some amount of joy feeling those against your cheek, making you almost smile. But you try not to. You have no idea what you’re feeling right now. Your head is foggy, your chest is pounding, and your cunt is throbbing for just a bit more.

He might fall asleep tbh. But he would fall asleep with you tight- safe- in his grip. You are not getting out of his hold, even while he’s asleep. You may be lucky enough to say something like “well I better get going for tonight” and start putting your clothes on while he’s so tuckered out, that it may convince his brain this was just normal, like a one night stand, or a first date, and not that he’d literally just kidnapped you like an hour ago and you had every right to go straight to the police. Like I said, you’d probably have to see how long you can hold the dom position between you two, because kurt’s definitely gonna make all the decisions otherwise. And once the magic wears off a little, kurts probably gonna realise that as you’re still alive, there’s a multitude of consequences that could happen for his actions, and what comes next. And he’s gonna have to decide quick what he wants to do with you, and how he goes about it.

He’s good with planning, but he may panic when he realises you’re not just eating breakfast with him in bed after a successful night together, you were kicking and screaming and knocked unconscious by him last night, and you have no idea where you are, and he doesn’t even really know who you are. Or if anyone’s gonna know you’re missing. Will you tell people what really happened? Will he let you get that chance? Or is eating breakfast in bed together watching tv gonna be the new normal for both of your lives? Even if it takes Kurt some time to get you there.

EDIT: sorry forgot to add!!

Kurt probably would sometimes get almost tantrumy, especially if it was a tense high pressure scenario; like he’d just been bad and knew he needed some control, he could control you if you were scared he could kill you. Or sometimes if you two are getting kinky and you’re teasing him way too much, or being mean, he’s not very patient. He can get pouty or teary, sometimes he cries and looks so seriously sad because he knowwwwws it gets you to give in and be nice to him (even though he teased you into being degrading and teasing bc he wanted that), but sometimes he gets bratty and will speak his mind with not a small amount of gestures, including crossing his arms over his chest, even as his whole body’s rising up and down as you’re fucking him. But a lot of the time, his tantrums come from not being able to touch you, and that is such a cute detail in your mind it always makes you melt into eventually letting him get what he needs with a coo

[yourlocalfictionalenthusiast]

IN LIFE, IN DEATH...

PART TEN

:Masterlist:

A/N: And that’s a wrap! Ahh, writing this series has been so fun and I’m so glad that so many of you have liked it so much. Thank you guys for staying until the end and hopefully for upcoming stuff 👀 I hope you enjoy the finale of In Life, In Death... <3

(Also the song mentioned in part six and this part is ‘She Is Love’ by Parachute) <3

-

December 1994

Luke groaned as he woke up, squinting hard to try and adjust his eyes to the amount of light in the room.

Even before he could see clearly, he knew he must've fallen asleep in the studio judging by the soreness in his back and neck that he always got when he slept on the old couch. It couldn't have been more than six in the morning, and Luke could still feel the tiredness in his bones. So he tried to turn away from the light and hopefully fall back asleep, but there was something keeping him firmly in place.

His heart skipped when he looked down and saw that you were laying right next to him with your head on his chest and an arm thrown across his stomach. When he realized that his own arms were wrapped around you, his heart broke out into a full-on tap dance.

Waves of confusion ran through his still-foggy brain until he saw his guitar case propped up against the piano and his backpack on the floor with his clothes spilling out of it.

Then the events of last night quickly came back to him.

How he had gotten home late from rehearsal and his mom was waiting in the kitchen with his latest report card and her signature lecture at the ready. One minute he was standing there yelling, packing all he could fit into his bag, and the next, he was halfway to the studio with the rain soaking him head to toe.

He had expected it to be empty when he finally got there, but he was flooded with relief when he saw you. All the frustration slowly melted out of him the longer he laid there with you, leaving him feeling exhausted and shivering despite how warm he felt.

The last thing he wanted to do was talk about any of it, but when you asked, the words came out of his mouth before he could stop them.

He remembered rambling and crying again, the sound of your voice and the feeling of your fingers in his hair warming him up even more. Then finally, he remembered falling asleep with his chin tucked on top of your head, the smell of your shampoo filling his senses.

Without thinking, Luke reached down and carefully pushed a piece of hair away from your face, tucking it behind your ear and smiling to himself when you shifted into his touch. Then taking in a sharp breath as the realization ran through him all the way down to his toes.

You were his best friend.

The person he wanted to see at the end of a long day. Whenever he was full of anger or lost in confusion, all he had to do was look at you and everything suddenly made sense again. With your pretty smile and laugh, and your way of flipping that little switch inside him that made his head all fuzzy and the ground start spinning under his feet.

You were his best friend, and he was in love with you.

-

2020

All you felt was a mixture of anxiety and nausea as you stood on the Orpheum's street corner, biting the tips of your fingernails.

The entire plan hinged on Willie and Teddy getting everything done in time, and considering that they had betrayed you all before, you couldn’t help but expect the worst.

“Look, don’t worry. Willie said he’ll get us on that marquee.” Alex said nervously as he kicked pebbles across the sidewalk.

“This is going to work, right?” Reggie asked.

“It has to.” Luke mumbled, wincing seconds later when another shock hit them.

Two sharp pops cut through the air behind you and you all whipped around to see Willie and Teddy standing just a few feet away. Willie was watching you all carefully with concern written all over his face, his eyes lingering on Alex longer than anyone else. Teddy stood at the edge of the group, practically burning a hole in your face with his guilty stare.

“Are you guys okay?” Willie asked.

“Yeah, nothing we haven’t felt before.” Alex laughed awkwardly. “How’d it go?”

“Well, when the opening band wakes up, they’ll find their bus two hundred miles out of Vegas.” Willie said with a proud smile as he did a spin, showing off his stolen jacket with the band’s name across the back.

“With absolutely no chance of getting back in time.” Teddy added.

Luke gave Willie a fistbump and pointed up to the office above the Orpheum. “That means there’s probably a promoter up there freaking out right now.”

Willie grinned, sarcasm laced in his tone. “Nah, man. This is Hollywood. I’m sure he’s being very professional.”

You laughed and then Alex slowly inched forward, clearly struggling for the right words to say to Willie. You gave his arm a quick squeeze before following Reggie and Luke down the street to give them space. Before you even got halfway down the sidewalk, Teddy poofed next to you.

“You know, If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you don’t want to talk to me.” He joked.

“Teddy-”

"I just-I didn't want to leave things the way we did." He rambled. "I'm sorry, I should've told you everything that night in the diner-"

"Teddy, It's okay." You said. "You told me before Caleb could put the stamp on me, and you didn't know the details about the plan until after it was too late to help my friends. Plus, I know how much you're risking helping us now."

As soon as the words left your mouth, you felt some of the weight fall off your shoulders. You weren't sure why since the situation was still a little painful and awkward. But being around Teddy always made you feel a little like that kid who started working at the diner with Cece all those years ago. Besides, they were so alike that you found it hard to stay mad at him.

You held out your hand for Teddy to shake. "Despite everything, I'm glad we met."

“Likewise, Gorgeous,” Teddy said with a relieved smile as he grasped your hand. With a subtle wink, he nodded over towards where Luke was standing at the end of the street. “He’s a lucky guy.”

"What? How did you?-" You sputtered as he stepped away. You never told Teddy about Luke, or at least you didn't think you did.

Teddy just smirked in response before disappearing into the air. At the same time, you saw Willie skate away out of the corner of your eye, leaving Alex alone on the sidewalk.

You all phased next to him and Luke squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. "You okay, man?"

"Yeah. I'm good." Alex smiled slyly as he gestured to the office. "Looks like this show needs a new opening act though."

You grinned. "Let's go see if we can help with that."

-

When you got back to the studio, you found Julie pacing back and forth in the middle of the room as she wrung her hands together.

When you all poofed in, she immediately jumped into a load of questions, losing her breath halfway through and flailing her arms around.

"Whoa, just sit down," You laughed excitedly. "We'll tell you everything."

Julie took a gasping breath and plopped backwards onto the couch then stared at you all with expectant eyes. "Well?"

"It worked!" You announced. "Everything's fine."

"You should be getting the call...now!" Alex pointed to Julie’s phone on the table just as it started buzzing. You all cheered and Julie shushed you as she answered the call.

You heard a woman's voice say something through the phone and Julie gave a thumbs-up as she started jumping on the couch. You watched in amusement and mild horror as Luke and Reggie lifted Alex up into the air and spun him around.

Once he was back on the ground, Luke and Reggie made a beeline for you, each of them grabbed one of your arms and flipped you upside down over their shoulders.

You all spent the next twenty minutes laughing and screaming and Alex even got a little teary-eyed but you pretended not to notice. Then Julie called Flynn and ran off excitedly to decide her outfit for the night, leaving the four of you alone to plan out the setlist.

“Okay, so I’m thinking we start with Stand Tall.” Luke said excitedly as he wrote the words down in his songbook.

“Sounds good.” Reggie said, suddenly quiet.

“’Sounds good’? Guys, I wanna hear ‘That sounds awesome!” Luke reached out and nudged Reggie’s shoulder. “I know this isn’t the way we imagined any of this. But we need to be all in tonight. This is our second chance to play the Orpheum!”

“I get it.” Reggie sputtered. “But it’s hard. Do we even know what’s on the other side when we cross over? Do we still get to hang out together?”

You shifted your weight as the happy little bubble surrounding you popped. You had been so wrapped up in the excitement of finally playing the Orpheum that you almost forgot what tonight was really about.

“You guys are the only family I have.” Reggie’s eyes were glued to the piano as he played with his fingers. You reached out and locked his arm with yours in an attempt to comfort him.

“I don’t know what’s gonna happen either. But it’s not like we have a choice.” Alex said.

Suddenly, Reggie’s arm fell out of yours as all three boys fell back, clutching their sides.

“I’m pretty sure we do.” Reggie groaned. “And it rhymes with ‘Hollywood Ghost Club’.”

The garage doors creaked open and Julie appeared with a bright smile and a blue garment bag in her hand. When she saw your expressions, her smile fell. “What’s wrong?”

“We just got hit pretty hard by one of those jolts.” Alex said. “But we’re fine.”

“Oh, good.” She nodded, though she still looked on edge. “I’m nervous.”

“That makes two of us.” You said. “But we made it this far for a reason. We got this.”

“Can you ride there with me? I'm gonna need more pep-talk material for the drive there cause I still think I might puke.” Julie tucked her hair behind her ears.

“Of course, and don't worry, we’ll leave the windows open.” You joked, making everyone laugh.

The sound of a car horn cut through the air and Julie looked outside. "That's my dad. Are you ready, (Y/n)?"

You nodded. "Yeah, uh, give me a second. I'll meet you in the car."

As Julie disappeared behind the doors, you turned to the boys and sighed as you tried to soak up this moment. For all you knew, this could be the last little window of time you had alone with them before tonight.

Julie was a huge part of the band of course, but these were your boys. The ones who you started this all with, who had been by your side for everything.

From the look on all their faces, you could see that they were thinking the same thing.

Without saying a word, you launched yourself at Alex. He made a surprised noise but recovered quickly, throwing his arms around you and holding you tight.

"And I'm the emotional one?" He jokingly muttered in your ear and you pinched his side, making him jump back. "Rude."

As soon as your arms were open, Reggie stepped forward and hugged you so tightly that you were thankful to not need oxygen anymore because he was definitely crushing several vital organs.

You laughed and gave him one last squeeze before pulling away, locking eyes with Luke instantly.

Alex cleared his throat awkwardly and grabbed Reggie's shoulder, steering him over to Luke's songbook to 'check out the setlist again'.

"And then there were two." Luke joked.

You laughed and stepped into his waiting arms, making him laugh. You soaked up the feeling of comfort and familiarity for a minute before pulling away.

"This, uh, is for you," Luke said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. You knitted your eyebrows together in confusion as he handed it over. "I wanted you to have it in case...well, you know. If tonight doesn't work."

"It will." You said, trying to ignore the fact that it very well could happen. "You're not getting rid of me that easily, Patterson."

"I wouldn't dream of it." He quipped back, his voice sounding softer and less teasing than you would've expected. You pulled back from him and because you didn't know if you would ever get another chance, you stood on your tiptoes and planted a kiss on his cheek.

You moved away too fast to see his reaction but the gesture made the other two boys smirk at you as you dashed out of the doors, making a beeline for the car pulling out of the driveway.

-

The back rooms of the Orpheum were a maze.

You had left for a few minutes to walk around the venue and clear your head, trying to wring out the last of your nerves.

By the time you found your way back, you expected to find the rest of the band rushing to get ready in the dressing room. But all you saw was Julie anxiously pacing as she had been earlier, a habit she seemed to have inherited from both you and Alex.

“You okay?”

She snapped her head up towards you and sighed. “Yeah, just a little worried. The guys aren’t here yet.”

You looked around the room and then at the clock, frowning. The show was in less than half an hour and that was already cutting it close. Part of you wanted to go check on them but Julie seemed to need you more at the moment.

“Okay, well, give them another ten minutes. I'm sure they'll be here. They wouldn’t miss this…again.”

You ran your palm across the front of your pocket, feeling Luke's note next to your parent’s photo, and hoped you were right.

But then more and more time passed until the stage manager came to escort Julie to the stage.

"Just a second!" She calls out and then turns to you. "(Y/n), something's wrong. They were getting those jolts pretty hard before we left. They must've run out of time."

You shut your eyes tight as the words sunk in. All you could bring yourself now was, ‘This isn't what was supposed to happen.’

The world fell out from under your feet and you had trouble even standing up straight as you imagined what must've happened to them. Your best friends, your brothers, your family was gone and there wasn't anything you could do about it.

The guy knocked again, this time a little harder and with a nervous tone. Julie chewed her lip as she looked between you and the door and you could almost see the cloud of grief settling over her.

As hard as it was, you tried your best to shove your feelings down and marched up to Julie. There would be time to fall apart later, but you knew that this what they would want you to do. "Let's go do this for them, okay?"

She took a deep, shaky breath before hesitantly nodding. You followed closely behind her as she walked out the door though the halls until she reached the stage. You waited beside Flynn in the wing as Julie settled behind her microphone and addressed the crowd.

There were scattered claps from around the venue and then she took a deep breath before singing the opening.

After the first few lines, you took your cue and materialized at the center of the stage. The crowd gasped and cheered the way they always did, but you kept your eyes shut tight and focused on the music.

Just as the song started picking up, you heard a familiar pop in the air and then the sound of drumming. You whirled around to see Alex mounted onto a drum set at the back of the stage, twirling his drumsticks around and smiling like he had never been gone at all.

Once you got over the initial shock, you wanted to cry with relief. They were okay, they were here. Alex winked at you goofily, and you ran towards Julie’s keyboard.

She had started bouncing on the balls of her feet, both of you finally getting into the song now that they were coming back. You followed suit, dancing around the base of the drum set as yours and Julie’s voices came together.

Then Reggie appeared on the other side of Julie and you ran to his side. You bumped his shoulder with yours and he grinned, moving to stand back to back.

The song was ramping up to the chorus when a staticky noise cut through the air, not loud enough for the crowd to hear but enough to make you all look over to the other end of the stage.

You could see Luke's form fading in and out, a look of anguish on his face, and the pit in your stomach opened up again. The crowd was on the edge of their seats as Alex's drumming paused and Luke finally materialized to sing the opening of the chorus.

You didn't even know you were moving until you suddenly found yourself across the stage next to Luke, unable to stop smiling as you sang.

Julie joined you, throwing her arms up in the air happily and jumping around. Reggie appeared by her side, flashing the crowd a winning smile.

Alex stood up and gripped his mic as he sang this solo. You looked back at him and flashed him a proud smile, then whooping loudly when Reggie sang his lines.

You all went down the line hitting your notes until the chorus kicked in again and your heart felt so full you almost couldn't stand it. This was what you were so close to achieving before you died, it was all you had wanted for years, and you knew that if you hadn't died, that night would've changed your life. But this night was something even more special. Because you were all here, all together.

Even if it was just for one last song.

Julie caught your attention and nodded towards the platform that spread out into the crowd. You followed her to the center and stood back to back as everyone cheered.

The guys joined in on either side of you, Alex grabbing one of your hands and Luke holding the other. You all bowed to the audience before taking your cue and vanishing, leaving only Julie on stage.

You landed in the wing, feeling a little lightheaded and overwhelmed from all the emotions you had experienced in the last five minutes. The elated smile fading from your face when all three boys poofed by your side only to fall to the floor instantly.

“It didn’t work.” You said miserably as Julie emerged into the backstage area. She grabbed Flynn and whispered something to her, pointing in the direction of her family. Flynn nodded and disappeared into the crowd while Julie ran to your side.

You hauled Alex onto his feet, letting him lean on you to stay upright while Luke and Reggie trailed behind Julie as she led the group back to the dressing room. Once everyone was inside, they collapsed on the couch or the floor, loudly groaning in pain.

“What happened? Why didn’t it work?” Julie asked tearfully.

“I guess playing here wasn’t our unfinished business.” Alex said hollowly.

“Point Caleb.” Reggie muttered as he clung to the side of an armchair.

You stood frozen next to Julie as panic spread through your whole body, both of you flinching in sympathy as the shocks continued.

“You have to save yourselves right now.” Julie begged. “Join Caleb’s club. It’s better than not existing at all!”

“She’s right.” You managed to say, your voice shaky and almost giving out. Your stomach flipped at the thought of them having to work for an evil club owner forever, but the alternative was worse. “You guys need to go now! For me. For us.”

“We’re not going back there.” Reggie shook his head.

Luke pulled himself up and stumbled forward a little so that he was right in front of you. “No music is worth making if we’re not all making it together.”

You sighed sadly, thinking back to your conversation yesterday. “So no more regrets?”

Luke let out a deep sigh and then reached up and cupped your cheek with his right hand. “Just one.”

You furrowed your eyebrows in response and Luke blinked hard as if he was trying to find the words. "I never told you why I left that night."

"Luke, don't." You gave him a weak smile. "I get it."

"You do?" He asked.

You struggled to get the words out. "Yeah, I mean it was bound to happen eventually. We just got too close and it was weird for you. I understand t-”

"What?" Luke asked, cutting you off with a confused look. "No, no, that's not it at all. Read the-"

Before he could finish, you heard Julie gasp loudly from a few feet away. You looked over to see her stepping back from Alex with an awestruck look on her face as she gripped his forearms.

Wait, what?

Before you could even begin to process what you were seeing, Reggie was reaching out to Julie, who grabbed his wrist and hauled him up to his feet. The three of them stared at each other for a few seconds before Julie turned to you and Luke.

“Guys, come here.”

Alex reached out and pulled you into his side while Luke threw an arm around Reggie’s back and Julie brought you all in closer to her. At first, nothing happened. But then there was a faint buzzing sound and the boys lifted their wrist towards the ceiling and you all watched in awe as the stamp floated away in the blink of an eye.

“Whoa.” Reggie said, his eyes still glued to the ceiling. “I don’t feel as weak anymore.”

“Yeah, me neither.” Alex agreed. “Not that I ever was that weak in the first place.”

You rolled your eyes and let your head fall over on his shoulder. “What do you think that means?”

Luke smiled. “I think it means the band is back.”

It was quiet for a second before Alex looked at you all shyly. “You guys think we can try that hug thing again?”

You laughed as you huddled together again, sniffling and laughing. Then Julie yelled out that you had played the Orpheum and then you were all jumping around, still tangled in each other’s arms.

Eventually, you all broke apart and while the boys started chasing each other around, you turned to Julie. She looked into your eyes and immediately flew into your arms, muttering into your shoulder, “I always wanted a big sister.”

The words warmed your heart and you squeezed her extra hard, grateful that you actually could now. “Well, I’m honored.”

“My family's probably looking for me so..." Julie stepped back from your arms with the biggest smile you’d ever seen on her face, you jokingly bowed to her and she copied the gesture before disappearing behind the door.

You wiped the last of your tears out of your eyes and turned around to find Alex and Reggie were talking in whispers and wearing knowing smiles. When Alex saw you looking, he cleared his throat and nudged Reggie’s shoulder.

“Hey, Reg.” Alex said cheekily, not taking his eyes off of you for even a second. “I was going to check out the next band. You wanna come with me?”

“Sure!” Reggie started strolling towards the door, stopping only for a second to nudge your shoulder and whisper ‘don't do anything I wouldn’t do’ in your ear.

Alex fixed Luke with a pointed look over his shoulder and Reggie gave him a dorky wink before they poofed away. You smiled fondly at the space where they were just standing and awkwardly turned towards Luke.

“Hi.” You said, laughing awkwardly.

“Hi.” Luke muttered back as he stepped forward until he was close enough to grab your hand. “About what I was saying earlier…”

You opened your mouth to say something but he shook his head and pointed to your pocket. “Read it. Please.”

You tugged the note he had given you earlier out of your pocket and carefully folded it open to see that it wasn’t a note at all. It was the love song that Julie had found that day in the garage, the one that he didn’t want anyone to see. You struggled a little trying to decipher Luke's handwriting. The ink was a little smudged and the song was clearly unfinished but it was the most beautiful thing you had ever read. And he had written it for you.

"I didn't leave because we got too close," He said. "It was the opposite, (Y/n), I left because I was scared to lose you, and I know that doesn't make sense because I kind of did w-"

You carefully tucked the paper back in your pocket with one hand and grabbed the back of his neck with the other, pulling him down and closing the last bit of space between you.

Luke's brain short-circuited for a second before he started kissing back, grabbing your waist with enough force to nearly knock you both backwards. It was dizzying and a little desperate, yet weirdly familiar, as if you'd been kissing him your whole life.

Most moments with Luke felt like they were happening in slow motion, but this time it was like a high-speed movie montage of your whole lives. The stolen crayons, the time capsule, the pre performance pep talks, the smell of cinnamon, the ferris wheel, his jacket, the movie nights and songwriting sessions. All of it had led up to this moment.

"I love you." Luke said immediately after you pulled away. "God, I love you so much. I'm such an idiot. I'm sorry."

“Hey, it’s okay.” You laughed, blinking another wave of tears out of your eyes. “I should’ve told you forever ago instead of skirting around it.”

“And what is it that you should’ve told me?” He said teasingly and you rolled your eyes. You had gotten so used to Luke being so shut down or nervous around you that you almost forgot how much of a little shit he could be.

“That I love you too.” You said, unable to stop smiling.

Luke leaned down and captured your lips in another kiss, this time threading his fingers through your hair as he cupped your cheeks in his hands. “I’m never gonna get tired of hearing that.”

You bit your lip to keep another laugh from bubbling up as you looked up at him, feeling completely overwhelmed in the best way possible. "So...what now?"

"I don't know." Luke admitted. "But I know one thing."

"What's that?"

"That no matter where we go, or what we do," He pushed a piece of hair behind your ear. "In life, in death... I'm yours. Always."

-

The End

-

In Life, In Death Taglist:

@ifilwtmfc @instabull @wanniiieeee @tenaciousperfectionunknown @charliegillespiewife @merceret @itismeasmolpotato @lilostif16 @dangerouslyclose @iainttakingshitfromnobody @givemebooksorgivemedeath @sunsetcurvedotmp3 @askgeoff @mayleenicole5676 @puppy11148 @vampire7595 @wackyworrieruniverse @reallysparklychaos @lovelydaydreams15 @rachmmb @musicismyescape27 @stackie4ever​ @spidermankenobi

(Strikethrough means I can’t tag you)

JATP Taglist:

@caitsymichelle13 @sunsetcurvej​

Let me know if you want to be added!

[eliemo]

Purple Skirt

Summary: Patton and Logan look amazing in their skirts, but Virgil knows he doesn’t get the same freedom when it comes to clothing. 

TWs: past abuse, past gaslighting, self esteem issues

Notes: Thank you to @self-taught-mess​ for giving me the idea to make the skirts angsty. Sympathetic everyone. Taglist at the end

Masterpost

The first time he’d been able to even look at a skirt without wanting to throw up was when Patton had come bouncing down the stairs, looking absolutely delighted in his new suspenders skirt, and Virgil had smiled along with him without even thinking about the memories. 

He was so happy and radiant and god Virgil wished he could do the same. The idea of wearing a skirt around the mindscape, never giving it a second thought, allowing himself to be comfortable and confident like Patton could be was...amazing. 

Logan had donned a skirt a couple weeks later, wearing it as casually as any other outfit, and he’d barely batted an eye when they had all jumped up to compliment him. 

They were all so...comfortable with it. And of course they were, they were allowed to be. They deserved to be. Everyone was, except Virgil. He knew that. 

Which is why he had no idea what had possessed him to start wearing a skirt in the privacy of his own room. 

It was a horrible idea, and his hands started shaking every time he shut his door and put on the dark purple skirt, but...but he liked it. He liked wearing skirts, and the light side’s outfits had reminded him of that. 

He’d tried to wear skirts a few years ago, but the Others had very quickly shut that down, drilling into his brain how selfish and horrible it was to even consider outfits like that an option. 

Anyone else could wear a skirt. Anyone else could wear whatever they wanted. But Virgil didn’t have that right. Virgil was disgusting and useless, and he didn’t deserve that comfort. 

Besides, they looked horrible on him. He didn’t need to look any more pathetic than he already was. He’d been mocked and beaten and screamed at for forcing other people to see him like that, for thinking for a second that it had been remotely acceptable. They’d made themselves very clear, and they hadn’t stopped until Virgil had understood. Anxiety didn’t get to wear skirts. 

Now...now he knew he wouldn’t be beaten if he was caught in a skirt. He knew by now not to assume his family would hurt him, especially not over something so small. 

But he’d still be told off. He knew he wasn’t supposed to be wearing something like this, knew it was disgusting of him to even try. Patton and Logan looked amazing but Virgil was...well, Virgil. 

Still, after seeing Logan and Patton’s skirts he hadn’t been able to help himself. He was careful about it, only changing once a week at most with his door locked, always when he was sure he’d have time to himself where no one would come looking. 

The first few times, he couldn’t look at himself in the mirror, taunts, hate, and repulsion echoing in his head every second the skirt was on. He hadn’t been able to keep it on for more than five minutes. 

But recently, he’d started to feel a bit more comfortable. He knew it wasn’t ok, knew better than to risk letting anyone see him, but...with no one around to tell him how disgusting he looked, he allowed himself a few glances in the mirror, and let himself keep it on for longer. 

It was comforting, freeing, and...maybe if it was anyone else, it might actually look good. 

He should have known better than to drop his guard like that.

Virgil had put his skirt on about half an hour ago, closing himself off in his room until dinner, his usual ripped jeans laid out for him to quickly slip on before heading back downstairs. 

He’d gotten too comfortable- too relaxed, lounging on his bed with his music playing and his eyes slipped shut and his head went foggy, losing track of time completely.  

“You in there, Hot Topic?” Roman’s call and gentle knocking didn’t startle Virgil like it usually would, and he groggily lifted his head from the pillow, slipping off his headphones. “Can I come in?” 

Virgil rubbed sleep from his eyes, pushed himself up on the bed, and waved a hand to unlock his door without a second thought. 

He then immediately realized his mistake as soon as the handle started to turn. Shit shit shit--

He scrambled off the bed, suddenly wide awake as his feet hit the carpeted floor, but he didn’t have a chance to get anywhere to hide before Roman was standing in the doorway, eyes going wide. 

For a split second, Virgil let himself be overtaken by dangerous, desperate hope. The light sides had pleasantly surprised him so many times already- it was ok for him to make mistakes, it was fine if he dropped something or made a loud noise or talked too much- so maybe...maybe this was ok too? 

But then Roman opened his mouth, and old instinct and far too familiar fear took over. 

“Sorry,” Virgil blurted as he shrank back, wrapping his arms around himself. “I didn’t...s-sorry, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to--”

“Wait, what?” Roman stepped closer, and Virgil internally cursed himself for flinching. This wasn’t like last time, this wasn’t like last time. “Virgil. Why’re you sorry?” 

He shrugged, suddenly hyper aware of the way the plaid skirt hugged his waist, draping just above the knee to show off the black and white striped stockings. He found himself absently tugging at the end of the material. 

“I...I’m not--” he cut himself off when his voice grew unsteady, swallowing past the lump in his throat. “I’m not supposed to, but I- I wasn’t going to leave the room. I know I- that I can’t--” 

“Oh, Virgil of course you can.” Roman’s voice was soft, always so genuine, and this time Virgil didn’t flinch back when the Prince took another step. “You look amazing.”

Virgil’s shoulders hunched on instinct, and he scrambled to figure out if that was sarcasm in the Prince’s tone, because he’d been expecting something far more hurtful. 

“I...you don’t have to, I was just- it was stupid. I- I forgot I was wearing it, I’m sorry.” 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Roman said, but his smile suddenly dropped. “Oh, Stormcloud you’re shaking.” 

Oh. Virgil hadn’t even realized how bad he’d started trembling, too scared to meet Roman’s eyes despite them radiating nothing but kindness. 

“Hey.” The Prince held out his hands, and Virgil risked a cautious glance up from the floor. “Come here?” 

Virgil let his shoulders drop, but his defenses were still raised, always waiting for the other shoe to drop, always expecting some kind of trap or trick. He still couldn’t help it. 

But he let himself close the distance between them and fall into Roman’s chest, letting out a shuddering breath as strong arms wrapped around him, gentle but secure. 

“You can wear a skirt, Virgil,” Roman said. “Did you...think I would be angry with you?” 

Virgil couldn’t bring himself to speak again just yet. All he was able to manage was a small nod against Roman’s chest. 

“Why?” he asked, voice still soft but Virgil thought there was a hint of something defensive. “I wear skirts all the time. So does Remus. And Patton and Logan have--” 

“I know.” Virgil took another small, trembling breath. “And you- you all look great. Obviously. Everyone can- everyone can wear whatever, I’m not...I just...can’t.” 

Roman pulled back slightly, but Virgil couldn’t meet his gaze. “Why not?” 

“Because I’m...I’m gross, and I shouldn’t...I can’t. Not like you guys, it’s not...it’s not allowed. It’s...probably bad for my influence over Thomas or something.. Plus I, uh- I look horrible in most things anyway, so…”

He trailed off, and his heart sank when he caught a glimpse of the look on Roman’s face. He was watching Virgil intently, head tilted slightly, eyes filled with something sad and...and angry. 

“I’m- I’m sorry.” Shit, he’d been talking too long hadn’t he? He was being annoying and he was still making Roman see him like this and he probably just wanted Virgil to shut up already. “I didn’t mean to ramble, I’m sorry, I’ll change and then--” 

“I’m not upset with you,” Roman said, and Virgil quickly fell silent. “This is...just one more thing they took away from you, isn’t it?” 

Virgil shrugged, back to wrapping his arms around himself like a useless shield. He felt tears spring to the corners of his eyes, face burning hot, and he quickly blinked them away. 

“I guess,” he muttered. “They didn’t really want me to...like myself. It’s still...hard, you know? To get their voices out of my head.” 

He tried not to think about it. He tried to block out the vicious, horrible things that had been said to him every time they’d raised a fist, their words just as powerful as a punch. 

They’d hurt him so bad, and they’d worked so hard to make him hate himself as much as they hated him. 

He wasn’t going to roll over and accept that. Not anymore. He’d get better now that he had people who loved him by his side. It just...god, it was so hard sometimes.  

“I know,” Roman said, and Virgil didn’t think he’d ever heard the Prince sound so grim. “Trust me, Virgil. I know.” 

Virgil didn’t doubt that. He dug his foot into the carpet, doing what he could to remind himself that Roman wasn't upset. The prince wasn’t disgusted by him, he didn’t think he was pathetic, and he wasn’t angry that Virgil was making him look at Anxiety longer than necessary. 

“Yeah, well. Self esteem is overrated.” 

Roman laughed, but he was still staring at Virgil with something sorrowful and uncertain. “Maybe. But if it helps, I think you look absolutely stunning.” 

“What?” Virgil scoffed, even as he was sure his face was bright red by now. “N-no, I...I don’t. Look, I can just change--” 

“Virgil, have you even looked in the mirror?” Roman asked, and Virgil tried not to flinch because those words had been said to him before, just under very different circumstances. 

But Roman was suddenly taking his hands, dragging him (gently, of course) into Virgil’s bathroom, standing in front of the sink and looking in the mirror. It was something he tried to avoid as much as possible, but with the way Princey was beaming at him...for the moment he couldn’t find it in himself to be so apprehensive. 

“How long have you had this?” Roman asked, and at Virgil’s blank stare he quickly gestured to the outfit- an older black hoodie over a white shirt, black and white stockings, and the plaid purple skirt. 

“Uh...I don’t know, it’s just some clothes. The skirt is kinda new, though. I had to make a new one after my old one was…” destroyed, was really the only accurate way to put it. And they hadn’t even waited for him to take it off. Somehow he really doubted that would make Roman feel any better. “Lost. It’s...it’s pretty stupid, I know.” 

“Not at all,” Princey said, and Virgil didn’t know why he couldn’t just give in and believe him. “Just look! You’re beautiful!” 

He seemed so excited, eyes brimming with awe and eagerness, Virgil couldn’t bring himself to protest. Even when he was struck with the familiar urge to avert his gaze as soon as he came face to face with his own reflection. 

It was just...him. Nothing special, nothing particularly good, just plain, dark and brooding Anxiety. But he’d been taught, over and over and over again, to hate every little thing about himself. Just like everyone else already did. 

But that had been a lie, just like nearly everything else he’d been told. The people who mattered didn’t hate him, and they did much more than tolerate his presence. 

He just...didn’t know where to start when it came to liking anything about himself. 

Luckily, Roman already seemed to be two steps ahead of him. 

“You are not disgusting,” he said, completely catching Virgil off guard. “And I swear, if I could I would run my sword through every single person who ever put that thought in your head.” 

“Please don’t.” It came out a whisper, soft and pathetic. They’d had this talk before, countless times, but each time it sent terror shooting through his chest. “Please--” 

“I know. As much as I want to make them suffer...I would never betray your trust by doing something so selfish. It will always be up to you whether or not I go after them.” 

Virgil’s shoulders dropped, relief just as dizzying as the last few times. “Thank you.” 

“But I mean it,” Roman said. “They were so, so wrong. We think you’re wonderful, Virgil. We...we all think you’re amazing. I know you don’t see it, but- but we do. And every day you shine just a little bit brighter.” 

“Princey--” 

“Did you know Patton couldn’t stop crying that first night we found out about what happened to you? He kept it together right until you fell asleep and then he...Logan held him until he exhausted himself. And Lo was...we were all so angry.” 

Virgil couldn’t turn around, instead staring at Roman’s reflection through the mirror. “I...I’m--” 

“This isn’t a guilt thing,” Roman clarified. “I’m saying we didn’t understand. We still don’t. How someone could look at you and not see someone incredible. You’ve been through so much and we’re...I’m honored to get to meet the person you always deserved to be.” 

And, yeah Virgil was definitely going to cry now, fresh tears just replacing the ones he wiped away. But maybe that was ok, because Roman’s eyes were red and watery now too. 

“Back to the point,” Roman said with a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of his neck. “You can wear what you want. Always. My only request is that you don’t outshine me.” 

Virgil snorted, even as uncertainty and apprehension still rested heavy on his chest. “I don’t think you have to worry about that, Princey.” 

“Well, I stand by what I said,” Roman announced, clapping his hands together. “You look stunning. And I’m sure the others will agree. Patton will be thrilled to have another skirt-buddy. Why don’t we head down so you can--” 

“No!” 

Roman had already started for the bathroom door, stopping in his tracks and spinning back around at Virgil’s outburst. He hadn’t meant to raise his voice, but…

But the terror that had hit when Roman had caught him just moments before, the disgust with himself that had just been starting to dissipate a bit...all of it hit full force again at the thought of going downstairs like this. 

He wanted to. He wanted to know he could be comfortable and learn to feel ok again so bad. But he couldn’t. There was no way. 

“Virge--” 

“I can’t.” And now he was going to upset Roman, after the Prince had tried so hard to get Virgil to stop being such a coward. And now he probably was going to be angry- or disappointed at the very least. Virgil wasn’t sure which one was worse. “I’m sorry, sorry it’s just--” 

“Hey, it’s ok,” Roman said, with way more patience than Virgil deserved at this point. “I’m not going to force you out of your comfort zone, Emo. Prince’s honor. We go at your pace, and your pace only.” 

 Virgil stuffed his hands into the hoodie pockets, fighting the urge to pull up his hood. “You’re not, like...mad?” 

“I’m not mad, Virgil,” Roman assured, and smiled. “Take your time. I’ll be here whenever you’re ready.” 

“Ok.” Virgil let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, shaky and small, and once again he wondered what he’d done to deserve this much kindness. “Ok. I’m uh, I’m gonna change. I’ll be down for dinner soon.” 

There was no annoyance, no frustration or exasperated eyeroll. Just a nod from Roman and another gentle, understanding smile as the Prince slipped through the door and left him alone again. 

For a moment, standing in his silent bedroom with his black jeans in his hands, Virgil considered keeping the skirt on. 

He wasn’t...he wasn’t a monster. He wasn’t the selfish, horrible, grotesque villain he’d been taught to think he was. 

He had the right to say, do, and wear whatever he wanted. He was just as free to exist and express himself as anyone else in the mindscape. 

It was what his family told him, over and over and over again. And it was what he was trying desperately to begin to believe. 

But he was almost positive that if he tried to step outside right now he’d have a panic attack before he reached the bottom of the stairs. So he took another deep breath, steadied himself, and changed back into his regular jeans and oversized hoodie. 

He wasn’t going to suddenly lose the right to recover if he took his time. There wasn’t a time limit to all of this. And like Roman had said, they’d be there when he was ready.

-- 

It was another few weeks before Roman heard a knock on his door, timid and familiar enough for him to know it was Virgil before he pulled it open with a smile. 

The anxious side was standing in the hall, arms wrapped around his middle as he shifted his weight from foot to foot, shoulders hunched in a defensive stand and...oh. 

He was wearing the outfit Roman hadn’t gotten the chance to see since their talk in his room, complete with the plaid purple skirt that the Prince thought looked absolutely perfect on Virgil. 

“Good afternoon,” Roman said, fighting to sound as nonchalant as possible, all too aware of how big of a deal this was. “You heading downstairs?” 

Virgil took a minute before nodding slowly, chewing incessantly on his lip, still fidgeting in the doorway. 

“Alright,” Roman said, hoping it was at least a little encouraging. “Is there anything I can do to help?” 

He could see Virgil trying to compose himself, recognized the slow, deliberate breaths he was taking in an effort to fight against rising panic, and Roman’s heart throbbed at the watery, scared look in his eyes. 

“Could you…” Virgil trailed off, squeezing his hands into fists. “Could you come with me? Please?” 

Roman softened, and stepped into the hallway. “Of course.” 

It wasn’t until he held out a hand, letting Virgil latch onto him and squeeze as tight as he needed, that he realized just how bad the anxious side was shaking. Just like the first time Roman had seen him in the skirt. 

As nice as it looked, it was a fairly simple outfit. Roman had worn far more extravagant things, and other than excited compliments from Patton, no one really looked twice. 

He couldn’t imagine what the others had done to make Virgil so afraid of being seen in a skirt. 

But this wasn’t the time for that. Roman forcefully pushed his anger back down, and squeezed Virgil’s hand in response. He didn’t stop trembling the entire trip down the hall. 

When they reached the top of the stairs, Patton and Logan’s voices began to filter in from the living room, and Virgil suddenly stopped, breath catching in his throat, looking to Roman with wide, panicked eyes. 

“What...what if they--” 

“Nothing bad will happen to you,” Roman said. “I swear it. But we don’t have to do this today if you aren’t ready. Like I said, we go at your pace.” 

Virgil’s eyes were glued to the stairs, tense and unmoving, clutching Roman’s hand like he thought it would be ripped away at any moment. 

Roman was fully willing to stand here for hours if it meant Virgil would be comfortable, but it only took a few minutes for his breathing to even out slightly, some of the tension in his shoulders coming undone. 

“Ok,” he said softly, probably more to himself than to Roman. “Ok. I’m...I’m good. I’m sorry.”

“No need to be sorry,” Roman promised. “Your pace, Virge. I’m here.” 

They made their way down the steps together, slow and steady, Roman letting Virgil move as fast as he wanted, stopping to take a few seconds to breathe whenever he needed. 

Logan and Patton were lounged on the couch by the time they made it to the living room, the logical side lost to the contents of the open book on his lap. 

Virgil suddenly froze in the doorway, looking up at Roman like he thought the Prince was the only thing standing in between him and certain death. 

And then Patton glanced up at the movement, and Roman couldn’t remember the last time the moral side had smiled so wide. 

“Oh my gosh! Virgil, you look so good!” 

Virgil automatically flinched against Roman’s side as Patton jumped up from the couch, but Roman could see surprise battling with doubt and confusion as he took in Patton’s happiness. 

“I...yeah?” 

And in the middle of it all, a small flicker of hope. 

“Yes!” Patton practically squealed. He rushed over to take Virgil’s hands, and Roman stepped away with one last reassuring smile. “I didn’t know you liked skirts, kiddo! You should have told me!” 

Virgil was searching Patton’s face, probably making sure there wasn’t any hint of hidden disgust in his words, before relaxing ever so slightly. “Yeah, I...wanted to try it, I guess.” 

“You look so pretty!” Patton was bouncing up and down now, Virgil’s hands still in his. “Don’t you think so, Logan?” 

Roman glanced at the logical side still seated on the couch, unsurprised to find a look of pride and quiet understanding.

“He does,” Logan agreed. “The outfit itself is aesthetically pleasing, and the colors suit you very well, Virgil. I am glad you were comfortable enough to try something new.” 

Virgil shrugged, cheeks turning a light shade of red, briefly meeting Roman’s eyes with a small, thankful smile. “It’s...it’s whatever.” 

“We should have a skirt day!” Patton announced suddenly. “Can we have a skirt day?” 

Logan raised an eyebrow. “A...skirt day?” 

“We can all wear our skirts together! Do you think we could get Janus and Remus to join us?” 

Roman chuckled, beyond relieved for the small smile now beginning to overtake Virgil’s features. “I’m sure you could, padre.” 

“Patton, it is simply an article of clothing,” Logan pointed out, completely lost. “Why do we need an entire day dedicated to wearing it?” 

“Because! It’s--” 

Patton was suddenly interrupted by Virgil suddenly wrapping his arms around the moral side, pulling him close in a tight, almost desperate embrace. 

Virgil so rarely was the one to initiate physical contact, as much as he needed it, always terrified of being seen as needy or ungrateful. From what Roman had gathered, Virgil had been told he was too disgusting to be touched in any way other than violent. 

“Oh, kiddo.” Despite his obvious surprise, Patton didn’t hesitate before hugging back. “Can you tell me what’s wrong, honey? Did I upset you?” 

Virgil shook his head, still clutching Patton’s shirt as he pulled back. Roman wanted so badly to rush over and hold him close when he realized Virgil was smiling through his tears, so clearly overwhelmed but so so relieved. 

“No- no, it’s-” he took in a shuddering breath, struggling to get a hold of himself. “I’m...thank you. I just- I love you all so much.” 

And then he was covering his mouth with his hand, crying quietly as Patton gathered him back into his arms, squeezing his eyes shut but relaxing further when the other two sides hurried to join the embrace. 

Roman couldn’t even imagine the weight that had just been lifted from Virgil’s shoulders, how rewarding acceptance without question must have felt. Especially when for him, every step forward was like climbing a mountain. 

He caught Logan sending him a questioning look, but he quickly shook his head. Later. They could talk it out later. Right now…

Right now Virgil just needed the reassurance. And Roman knew they were all more than happy to remind him they would never get tired of giving it to him. 

Taglist: @self-taught-mess @itawalrus @mygenderisidiot @a-very-gay-raccoon @dawnfire7 @cr4zyart @ray-does-stuff @whydoifeeltheneedtoorganizestuff @bunny222  @the-blue-recluse @bisexualdisaster106 @basilthefourth @snowtrashowl @thefingergunsgirl @trashtm @stubbornness-and-spite @kieraelieson @alias290 @darkch1ld @craz-ewaters @damy-02 @frogdog145 @gattonero17 @madamedraconis @stoicpanther @@love-to-read02 @that-spider-fan-over-there @thatoneloudowl @rich-flower-17 @demigodbookdragon @i-gobymanynames @wyvern-tales @spoopyseason66 @gaylotusthatexists @my-life-is-an-artistic-mess @that-one-fander @alias290 @yalltookmyurlideas @theantisocialghost @dark-strange-daughter @joylessnightsky @nova-galexa @luckymasie @stayarmy321 @starsinger @unhygienic-andy-the-anon @deathdarknessdevils @d-rizzle83 @spoonfullofcrofters @sarcasmremovedsoul @bananabread123443 @alpacadraws @nonbinaryemonugget @espepspes @awesome-and-unique-username @starshinemoonglow @honeybonesvirgil @fandertrash24 @tracingstarlight @sanders-fanders @heartwitchhouse @major-disaster-enby @a-poor-anxious-baby @franticfandomfanatic @the3rdpansexualpanda @a-flying-gay @hermitcreature @darkle-elkrad @coaltail121 @i-really-like-dragons @blagi @the-daydreamers-rebellion

[egcdeath]

wrong place, wrong time

summary: a drunken mishap leads you to reconcile with someone from your past. (based off this prompt)

pairing: andy barber x reader 

word count: 2.1k

author’s note: this fic has been sitting in my drafts, half finished, for like months. i hope you enjoy!

warnings: extremely brief mention of cheating

“I just think things would be better if we… you know, saw other people,” Oliver explained through the phone. 

You sighed dejectedly into the microphone, before deciding to hang up, and aggressively tossing your phone onto the leather seat next to you. You’d already had a shit day at work, and you really didn’t think that you could handle all of this today. Especially considering that you were almost certain that there was the hint of a feminine giggle in the background of that call.

You’d been expecting this for a while, your relationship with Oliver had been falling apart- slowly but surely- for a few months now, and he was ‘working late’ way too many nights for you not to be the slightest bit suspicious. But it still hurt, you were now single, and you’d essentially wasted a precious year of your life with a douchebag who ended up leaving you anyway.

You pressed your foot on the gas, and began your drive back home, before telling yourself fuck it, and deciding to turn onto a side road so you could head to your local pub. 

-----

Several drinks later, you were extremely drunk. From that point on, everything was a bit of a blur.

You stumbled out of the bar (against your own will? You vaguely remember someone telling you that you needed to leave), sat in the back of an Uber (how much did you tell them? Probably too much), arrived at your home (but why weren’t your keys working?).

Things were a bit less blurry here. You can remember yourself repeatedly stabbing your keys into the door, and when that didn’t seem to work, deciding to hoist yourself over your fence, and get in through the back.

During this whole ordeal, you tripped over a seat on the patio, losing a shoe in doing so, and nearly fell into a pool, since when did my house have a pool? You ignored that thought, then opened the back door, getting in with no resistance. 

You hobbled inside, closed the door behind you, then stumbled up the stairs, before finally finding your (?) bedroom. You flopped down in bed before realizing that you really needed to pee, and as you went to go find your bathroom, everything seemed to go black. 

----

You woke up extremely disoriented in a vaguely familiar bathtub. It faintly smelled of pine, and possibly a hint of vanilla. The tub had a modern and sleek look, yet appeared to be as sterile as a hospital room. This was absolutely not your home. But it possibly belonged to someone you knew. The tiles lining the wall did seem to ring a bell somewhere deep in the foggy abyss of your hungover brain. 

As you sat up, you groaned due to the consistent pulsing in your head. This had to be one of the worst hangovers you’d had in a while, and you were lucky that you didn’t lean over and empty the contents of your stomach right that instant.

“Stupid fucking Y/N,” you whispered to yourself. “You’re lucky all of your organs are still intact.” After stating this, you glanced down at your torso just to make sure. But a larger question still remained, where were you? Did you hook up with someone? Did you just randomly break into someone’s home? That’s a little ridiculous. Who would do something like that?

Apparently, drunk you would. In the process of exiting the tub, you concluded that you absolutely were in someone elses' gargantuan of a home, and that that person was undoubtedly down the hall, taking a phone call. Also, you were definitely missing a shoe.

You glared at yourself in the mirror, smeared makeup on your face, hair that looked so frizzy that you may as well have been struck by lightning, and of course the overwhelming scent of dry liquor that seemed to be seeping out of your skin. You turned on the sink and splashed your face, trying to completely wake up, and to partially figure out if this was real life, or just a horrible dream. 

“Fuck!” you exclaimed out loud to yourself. How would you even get out of this situation alive? Perhaps you could find a window to jump out of. No, too dangerous. Hide in the bathroom until the man leaves? Well, everyone has to go to the bathroom at some point. Leave without being spotted? Mhm, very likely. Go talk to the homeowner? It doesn’t seem like you have any other option right now. You internally screamed at yourself for being so reckless, especially having gone through all of this drama for a guy who didn’t deserve one ounce of your attention.

You slipped off your remaining shoe, then slowly made your way out of the bathroom, peeking behind the doorway to see if the coast was clear, and trying to plan your explanation in the process. As you peered around, searching for the quickest and easiest exit, you realized just how familiar the home was. But what really did it for you was a painting on the wall. 

This was Andy Barber’s home. The same man you hooked up with a few times before ghosting. You sighed exasperatedly at your own poor decision making for what felt like the millionth time that morning.

You had to get the hell out of here. Fast. Lost shoe be damned.

You somewhat remembered the floor plan, so managing to get out unnoticed began to seem just a tad bit more possible. You began to jog it down the hall, trying not to be too heavy footed as you went, in the event that Andy was standing in the eyeline of one of the open doors. Unfortunately for you, in the midst of your beeline down the hall, you were spotted. 

“What the..? You know what Lynn, I’ll call you back in a bit.”

“I can explain! Don’t like… kill me or something. I promise you that this is just a big misunderstanding,” you were speaking without really processing anything that you were saying. You turned to face the man, and couldn’t help but to smirk a bit at the sight of him. You forgot just how attractive he was, with a full beard, fluffy hair, and soft blue eyes that seemed to be boring straight into your soul from across the room. Not to mention his sculpted body, which you swore you could make out beneath his sweatpants, and worn white shirt. Really, Y/N? First you ghost a man, break into his home a year later, and now you’re objectifying him? 

You moved towards the door and began to speak again, your words flowing out at a million miles per minute, “Uhm, so long story short, I basically got really drunk last night, and I thought your house was mine, so I kinda broke in. But I’ll be seeing myself out now,” You gave a curt smile, and looked towards the stairs. “Before I go, any chance that you’ve seen my left shoe somewhere around here?”

It was clear that Andy was very confused, but as you read his face, you could see that he was far more intrigued than angry. “Hey, not so fast.” He approached you quickly, his eyebrows lifting in surprise, and his mouth gaping open slightly. “No fuckin’ way. Y/N?”

You scratched the back of your head awkwardly and nodded, “yeah.” 

“You’re not getting off the hook that easily. Lucky for you, I was about to make breakfast, aaaand I’m not totally opposed to being joined,” he gave you a genuine smile, and a playful little shrug. 

“That’s fine with me but- this sounds kinda strange- can I use your shower first?”

“Go right ahead. Mi casa su casa, right? I mean, kinda sounds like that’s what you were thinking last night,” Andy peered at you inquisitively at this, “I’m just kidding. Feel free to use anything you need.”

You couldn’t even blame Andy for his passive aggression, but that didn’t stop you from sulking the whole way back into the bathroom.

----

“I forgot how good your water pressure is,” you announced while coming down the stairs, clad in a college hoodie that you’d found in the depths of Andy’s closet, and shorts that were just a tad too large for you.

“Thanks, I guess?” Andy flipped a pancake, then turned to get a good look at you. 

“You’re welcome. It smells so good down here,” you slipped into a barstool at his granite island, and observed him while he cooked, “so... you still live here alone?” You asked while you were passed a mug of coffee.

“Well, yeah. I mean that’s kind of what happens after your wife and son die.”

“Uhm.. sorry. For bringing that up again,” you glanced down awkwardly at your dark drink. 

“It’s okay, they’ve been gone for a while,” he sat down at his seat, setting down a plate of food for you and himself. “What’ve you been up to? Apart from breaking and entering, of course.”

“Ha ha, very funny,” you began, cutting into a syrup-soaked pancake. “You’re no saint either. I can’t think of anyone in their right mind who would gladly break bread with someone who drunkenly broke into their home.”

“That’s fair,” Andy stated, almost dismissively. “But it's not like we’re total strangers. We have history.”

You scoffed at this, “like hell we do,” you muttered. “Anyway, things with me have been pretty boring. Same job. I had a boyfriend, but he just dumped me like, 12 hour ago. I’m pretty sure that he’s been cheating on me for like, the past four months.”

“That sucks,” Andy commented, shoveling a piece of pancake into his mouth. 

“Yeah, it does. How about you?”

“You know, same old. Still an ADA, still getting messages from random people about that trial, and of course, still perpetually lonely.”

“By no means do I mean to impede, but maybe you’d be a little less lonely if you let people in,” you suggested, looking up from your food to Andy, whose face gave away the offense he was feeling, “I said maybe.”

“What do you mean?” He questioned, brows furrowing.

“Come on, Andrew. You know exactly what I mean. Like with us, I thought everything was going perfectly well, until I was half asleep and you were telling me that you weren’t ready to commit. Literally moments after you were balls-deep in me.”

“Don’t call me that, Y/N,” Andy squinted at you in agitation. “Is that why you stopped picking up my calls?”

“What do you think?”

He sighed softly, “If it’s any consolation, I’ve been trying to do better. I talk to a… counselor… every now and then. Everything’s just been different ever since they passed, you know? It’s hard to form connections after your most intimate ones disappear in the blink of an eye.”

You frowned a bit at the man, and set down your fork. “I get it. I’m sorry.”

“Do you, though? Get it?”

“Not really. I was just trying to be supportive,” you turned a bit in your seat to get a better view of Andy. “I just wonder if we had this conversation a year ago if you and I would be in a better position now. I really liked you a lot.”

Andy was silent for a moment, and observed you pensively. “Let’s try again, then. It seems like you and I both are ready for something new.”

“Oh Andy,” you rubbed the back of your neck anxiously. “I just got out of a relationship less than a day ago.”

“Then we can take this, whatever it might end up being, slow. It would be nice to have a friend around who doesn’t just want to talk about work, and tell me that they’re sorry for my loss.”

You nodded, “I’ll probably need a shoulder to cry on at some point sooner than later.”

“So... friends?”

“Friends,” you agreed with a smile and a lift of your shoulders. 

Part of you hoped that maybe, just maybe, this could be the start of something great.

[vostokovasmelina]

— 𝐀𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝟑𝐂. (𝐬.𝐰.)

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐢  |  𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢 | 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

characters: fem!reader; sam wilson; archibald the tabby cat; sarah wilson

word count: 3.1k+

warning: mentions and descriptions of alcohol, death, grief, trauma, therapy, depression – i call this post-snap realism

series summary: after the blip, sam wilson gets home to an unpleasant surprise - his key doesn’t fit the lock anymore and his apartment is now inhabited by a stranger and a grumpy feline. however, the unusual encounter is only the beginning of their post-blip lives and the reader soon learns that what life takes away, it can give back in the most particular ways.

a/n: the ending is a dark unedited mess, so proceed with caution

Taking a cautious sip of your hot beverage, you watched this absolute gatecrasher of a man trying to make up his mind about whatever he was so confused about – Sam kept looking all around your apartment as if searching for something he had left there, his slightly lost and disoriented expression sending a sudden wave of guilt rushing over you. Now that you thought about it, it really must have sucked absolute cheese for him to come home hoping he could finally have that huge cup of strong black coffee he had been anticipating ever since having defeated that enormous purple bastard from Outer Space, only to find that his coffee machine was long gone and now this random lady with a philodendron problem and a judgmental cat were inhabiting the place with absolutely no room left for him whatsoever. It did sound tragic when you put it that way.

However, it really wasn’t your fault that you had needed to find a brand new residence approximately five years before. He really should have checked in with someone to make sure he still had somewhere to go home to. You were quite clearly the real victim here. And Lord only knew how poor Archie was going to process all the excitement of the day.

For a few seconds, you contemplated whether or not to put your thoughts into words, and eventually decided against it for the time being. The man had just helped save the world a few days before, after all, and out of what? Good conscience? Personally not for you, but you could appreciate it in others. And it would have been a real shame to die right when your fan-favourite succulents and killer new posting schedule had been attracting more Instagram followers than ever before. Thanks to the savior complex flaming inside of the gentleman standing before you though, the regular civilian had luckily escaped such terrible hardships. And special thanks to approximately a thousand and one other superheroes. Oh, and to an African country filled with similarly public-spirited people.

For a few awkwardly long seconds neither of you said a word. Sam kept looking around and you watched him look around, slowly lowering your mug onto the table and tilting your head slightly to the left. Weird how Sarah had never mentioned the brother believed to be dead for the last five years was this handsome. It is unfair, really. Some people are just naturally gorgeous no matter the shitty kitchen lighting, that tiny confused frown that had been sitting on their face for the last half hour, or those shiny black bugs for eyes tearing up ever so slightly to snitch on a long repressed yawn.

“Now that the drama is over and the Avengers as such are non-existent – have you considered a career in modeling yet?”

Sam snapped his head towards you with such force and speed that for a moment you were afraid you’d have to spend the rest of the afternoon sewing it back on his neck. You grabbed your mug still pretty much filled to the brim with tea and raised it back up to your mouth to hide your lingering half-smile behind a faded portrait of baby Archie on the ivory porcelain.

“Just saying, I would buy anything for this face on the package alone,” you continued with the confidence of a woman who hasn’t got a single drop of shame left in her body. But it was fine ‘cos you didn’t actually mean it, right? It was all just a joke, an attempt at lightening the mood and snapping him out of his puzzled melancholy. And that tiny flutter of your heart upon hearing Sam’s perfect little chuckle was but a momentary malfunction of the organ. The incident was purely physiological. No contribution from any emotional factors. It was simply an innocent coincidence that these two, completely unrelated things had co-occured.

So when your gazes met, you didn’t tear yours away in embarrassment – you stood your ground, completely unaffected and unbothered, ignoring the increasingly hot sensation in your cheeks when you saw Sam raise a cheeky eyebrow at you. Before even more damage could have been done, however, you decided to cut the party short.

“Oh, no. Don’t get your hopes up, Birdman. I simply couldn’t keep watching you in your deeply disturbed state.”

Very, very smooth. Cleared of all suspicion. Good job.

“Wow. Okay. That was cruel,” Sam scoffed and gave emphasis to his words by bringing up his right palm dramatically to his chest, right above his now most definitely broken heart. The overall effect got ruined by an annoyingly goofy grin in the end and before you even realised, you had already reached out for your massive mug again to drown your own erupting smile in the hot liquid.

In the silence that followed, however, you saw Sam’s smile fall ever so slightly, as if exhaustion or worry were holding onto the corners of his lips, physically tugging them down, and you shifted slightly uncomfortably in your seat. It was time you had stopped messing around with the poor guy.

“Look, I know this is weird but I’m sure we can find a solution. Just call Sarah so she can stop worrying now,” you suggested, finishing your tea and pushing the now empty mug to the middle of the table before leaning back in your seat.

“Ugh, yeah,” Sam started slowly, squatting down to get his mobile and the charger out of his massive sports bag. “Can I plug this in somewhere?”

You blinked at him a couple of times while he waited patiently for your answer. You could only imagine the number of missed calls and unread texts waiting for Sam on his phone, but you decided you didn’t know him enough to give him a lecture on behalf of his sister. So you just gave him a tired nod and gestured lazily towards your battered kitchen counter, Sam following your direction with his gaze.

“Above the microwave. Oh, and the socket farthest to the left–”

“–doesn’t work. I remember.” Sam flashed another exhausted but friendly smirk at you above his shoulder, and you allowed yourself to return the gesture to his back once he wasn’t watching.

“Right, sorry. Forgot I was the intruder here,” you joked, delighted to earn another one of those irritatingly lively chuckles of this man’s.

You seriously needed to get your shit together.

“Okay, while your phone is doing its thing, let’s call Sarah from mine, I guess” you continued, jumping up from your chair the moment Sam returned to the table and you headed towards your worn little couch where you scratched Archie gently behind his right ear. “Where have you put my phone, you dirty old man?” You cooed, smiling softly while sliding your hands under the cheap cushions and booping your irritated cat’s tiny nose when your fingers finally touched the cold metal you had been looking for.

Once seated again, you caught Sam staring at Archie, his eyes slightly narrowed in what appeared to be deep concentration. You furrowed your eyebrows and tilted your head, waiting for your uninvited guest to notice you.

“I don’t think your cat likes me too much,” he finally said, slowly tearing his gaze away from the pet feline’s and looking into your slightly more welcoming human eyes instead.

You chuckled dryly, turning around to see Archie in all his glory on the couch. He simply gave you an unbothered look before completely losing interest in the two of you, and he hopped of the couch, slowly making his way towards your bedroom where you knew he would bundle up under your bed on the cosy carpet. He had apparently decided it was time for his beauty sleep.

“Yeah, he’s like that with everyone. Nothing personal,” you assured Sam, who offered a tired half-smile in return. You cleared your throat gently, eyes fixed on your phone’s screen and fingers already searching for Sarah’s number. Once you had found it, you handed it to Sam whose only job left was to press the call button. You raised your eyebrows at him expectantly and he let out a sigh while reaching out for your mobile.

* * *

It wasn’t like he didn’t want to talk to Sarah. Quite the opposite, actually. But he was embarrassed. Sam knew full well how furious his sister was going to be. And honestly, rightfully so. He couldn’t argue with that. After all, she did say there had been something she wanted to talk to him about. And Sam did hang up on her without a passable excuse. And he did let his phone die on his way back home to Louisiana.

Yeah, he most probably wasn't going to be nominated for this year's Brother of the Year award.

Their last call had happened two days before. Two days is a long time without any news from a brother who had just returned after having been believed to be dead for the past five years. And if you had been to ask him, Sam wouldn’t have been able to tell you what had gotten into him either but ever since the Blip, something had not been exactly right. He couldn’t quite put his finger on what was going on, so he hadn’t brought it up to anyone, but his brain felt slow and foggy as if it hadn't had time to catch up yet.

Sometimes, Sam worried that the molecules in his brain had been mixed up and hadn't been put back into their original places in the process of the whole turning-into-dust-and-back-into-human-form-again thing.

It was a silly thought, yes, but with everything going on in the world, would it really be that hard to believe?

"Hey hon! What's up?" Sam's thought process was cut off by the endearing voice of his sister, and though he was aware all this affection was not directed towards him – given that he had called Sarah on your phone – his heart did swell upon hearing her again.

And then he said hi and it all went south from there.

Sarah was obviously pissed.

She asked Sam if he had any idea how many texts and missed calls she had left him, and no, he had no clue but if he had to guess, the number would have been way high up in the double digits.

Then she started going off on Sam, using different kinds of actually very creative euphemisms – which was a problem because Sam got so distracted by his sister's choice of words that her short, well-thought out rant had very little effect on him, but at least he had enough self-respect left to get his sister off speaker at this point.

"Look, Sarah, I know I messed up but I'm fine! I swear," he started, cutting his sister short while subconsciously picking at the skin around the nail on his index finger with his thumb. "What if I stop by Andy's and tell him to give me their best apple pie?" Sam added, hoping this promise would serve as an ice-breaker. Sarah did love her desserts. A lot. And Andy always gave a discount to the Wilson family, too.

When he heard his sister's tired sigh, Sam's heart gave a hopeful flutter, but he was rudely dragged back onto the ground on his way to cloud nine the very next second.

"I'm doing the shopping at the moment. Just got here and it's gonna take long," Sarah replied, annoyance poking through all her words. Then, the tension that had been dominating the pair's call suddenly seemed to evaporate as Sam sensed a weak shadow of a smile in her following sentence. "But that apple pie does sound good."

Sam couldn't help the grin that creeped its way onto his face and he didn't even care about Sarah's semi-serious threat, saying how they were nowhere near finished yet. He muttered out a quick sorry again, promised Sarah to give her regards to you and finished the call with a charming 'I love you' to which his sister replied with a snarky 'I bet' before hanging up with a promise that she would call again when she got home.

Sam let out a relieved chuckle before handing you back your phone and taking the final sip of his slightly lukewarm coffee, watching your bright red-nailed fingers tap away on the device, and he swallowed harder and probably louder than he had meant to. You just happened to put your phone down the very next second, so he tried to cover up the gulp by clearing his throat and shifting his gaze from your nails to your eyes.

Beautiful eyes.

Well shit.

"So, I guess you're staying," you started hesitantly, raising your eyebrows at Sam in a slightly impatient manner, which snapped him out of his blissful thoughts and thrust him back into reality.

Was he staying? He certainly had nowhere to go now that he was practically homeless and his sister was unable to welcome him in her own home for the next two hours, at least. But then again, you were a complete stranger whose afternoon he had just disrupted, and it didn't matter how weird it felt seeing you be so at home in his apartment because it wasn't his anymore. It was yours and you had all the right to kick Sam out and he had absolutely zero right to argue.

But, thankfully, he didn't have to.

"Which is fine, by the way. I did promise you an explanation, after all." Sam couldn't quite ignore the hint of dread behind your words and he was ready to object, to leave you alone and spend the rest of his afternoon doing God-knows-what, but then you offered him another cup of coffee followed by a tiny but honest smile, and Sam just couldn't bring himself to say no.

* * *

Sam Wilson was ridiculously easy to open up to.

It made you want to commit a crime.

His gaze was so intensely warm that after a while, you were looking at everything in your apartment but him just to avoid accidentally trauma dumping on him, especially when you got to the part about group therapy.

Because you had met Sarah at a group therapy session approximately four and a half years before.

It had been clear from the very first minute that neither of you had actually wanted to be there and that both of you had been forced into this situation. Sarah had been dragged to group by an overly enthusiastic co-worker of hers whose crush on the counselor had been probably more intense than the trauma she had suffered – she had lost a dog and her neighbor to the right whom she had always talked shit about behind his back. She was a nice enough woman, but considering that people had lost actual family in the Snap, her presence had always been mostly aggravating, to say the least.

In your case, it had been your grandmother who had bullied you into going to one of the sessions because 'she had the same rotten mentality when Miss Taylor told her to go but then she found it life-changing'. At this point, you had become so indifferent to everything in the world that you hadn't needed much convincing to go. You had told yourself it would be one session anyway after which you would have told Grandma Ethel that 'therapy was simply not for you' and could have been back to your usual Thursday evening routine consisting of a cheap bottle of red wine and depressing reruns of trashy British reality shows from the late 2000s.

The actual sessions had never worked for you. They might have if you had actually spoken up at any of them but you had never become quite ready to talk about your loss in front of a dozen other people, most of whom you had already known. But then you had met Sarah and something about her had made you feel secure, secure enough to talk about them for the first time, so you had started hanging out at a café not too far from the community center and it had become the best thing in your life.

"And the rest is history," you finished, getting up from your chair to put both yours and Sam's mug in the sink and watered your nearby plants while at it.

"I'm really glad Sarah had someone by her side," Sam commented and you could hear a hint of guilt in his words but you decided to ignore it. You simply nodded and muttered out a weak 'yeah', saying you were just as happy to have found a friend like Sarah.

Then Sam said something that made all the muscles in your body tense up and you froze completely for the next couple of seconds.

"And have you seen your family yet? Now that they've come back?"

It was an innocent question. He doesn't know the whole story. So calm down.

You slowly put down the glass you had used earlier to water your plants and tried with every particle in your body to put on the best toothpaste commercial-worthy smile you could force out of yourself before turning back towards Sam and answering his absolutely understandable question.

"Yeah!" No. "They're doing well, actually!" They're fucking dead.

Sam's genuinely happy smile was way too much to handle and if it hadn't been for a call from Sarah, you would have broken down in tears right in front of him the very next moment.

So instead of all that, you decided to turn right back around, pour yourself a huge glass of cold tapwater and down it in one breath while Sam finished his brief conversation with his sister. The stinging pain in your chest that followed was enough to distract your thoughts until he was finally at the door, saying goodbye and thanking your for the coffee and saying sorry for intruding and taking absolutely way too fucking long to finally leave.

"Hey, um... I could give you my number? If you ever need anything or..."

He can't be serious.

"Sure! You can, ugh, put it in my phone," you replied, your hands shaking dangerously as you reached into your back pocket for your mobile and handed it to Sam, who knew better than to comment on it.

Once finished, he returned your phone with one of those irritatingly joyful smiles of his and with a final 'see you around' Sam Wilson was off and you proudly patted yourself on the back for successfully holding it together until you finally reached your couch.

* * *

mini-series taglist – let me know if you want to be added

@softieyn

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