#sorry i’m advance for emotional damages

[national-hockey-gay]

Making an Edit for Every Team in the NHL: The Boston Bruins (10/32)

original text

[zeltqz]

call me or not, it's up to you.

☰ — synopsis : you come back home after a night out and see you accidentally posted your private stories public, and received a drunk lengthy voicemail from your ex, ran.

☰ — pairing : haitani ran x fem!reader ☰ — length : 2.4k words ☰ — contents : nsfw and 18+ contents, mentions of violence (sanzu being sanzu), slight phone sex; they don't directly communicate, ran being mildly toxic and messing with your emotions, teeny itsy bitsy drops of gaslighting ☰ — notes : i literally suck at writing toxic characters so im SORRY if this is literal ass, (im trying my hardestttt) i just had a dream about this and had to execute it as best as i could lol

It was a regular Thursday night when you stumbled into your date’s house, struggling to walk with half a heel working. 

“Let’s get you out of these.” He knelt before you and helped you unbuckle your heels and you sighed in relief when he slipped them both off. 

“Remind me to never wear heels again,” you giggled, clutching onto him. He leaned down and kissed you. You hummed, still feeling the buzz from the alcohol earlier and wrap your arms around his waist, kissing him back. “I had fun tonight.”

He cupped both your cheeks in his hands and peppering them with kisses, each of them making you giggle at the ticklish feeling. “Me too.” There was a final lingering kiss before he pulled away. “Let’s get you ready for bed, alright?” He traced your cheekbones with his finger, and you smiled up at him, nuzzling your cheek against his hand.

“Okay.” He helped you up the stairs and you collapsed onto his bed, your dress riding up your thighs as you laid there, clutching at his soft sheets.

“I’m gonna shower first, alright babe?” He said in the process of removing his shirt. “Wanna join me?”

You shook your head, eyes threatening to close shut as you nuzzled his pillow. “I’m alright. You go first.”

He bit his lip, admiring you splayed out on the sheets for a moment, his mind racing with all the things he could do you tonight if you’d join him in the shower. But of course his fantasies only stay in his head since you’ve been rejecting every single one of his advances for the last three months. It’s always the same excuses : you’re not in the mood, or you’re too tired. 

He sighed. “You sure babe?”

You’re half asleep at this point, just barely conscious as you murmur, “‘m sure.” His tongue poked his cheek and he nodded, saying nothing else and heading inside the bathroom. 

You vaguely hear the shower turn on and about to enter a deep sleep when your phone buzzes.

@/shibayuzuha : oh my god who is this man u’re with on ur story? He is CUTE!!

@/hina_tachibana : was this supposed to be posted on your main? 😢

“What story?” you muttered, rubbing your eyes and sitting up. You click  through your instagram story and rewatch the story you posted a few hours earlier when you were at the club. They were all videos of you and Masato dancing together, kissing, taking shots. Honestly you were buzzed the entire night and you thought you posted them on your private account, much less your close friends. “Oh fuck.”

You went to delete all the stories but the damage was already done, over 300 people already saw it. Oh well. That’s tomorrow’s problem. 

You lay back down, eyelids blinking slowly as you fight back sleep and check your missed phone calls you accidentally ignored. That’s when you see it. A voicemail from Haitani Ran. Any ounce of sleep in your body vanished the moment you sat up quickly, rubbing your eyes checking if you saw correctly.

It was over five minutes long and part of you wanted to delete it, but at this moment, you couldn’t help but be curious. You pressed play and put the phone up to your ear.

“Hey. It’s me. Hope I’m not blocked or whatever, I know how petty you can get.” He chuckled to himself and the deep rumble of it took you back to all those months ago when you’d be laying beside him, head on his chest and just listen to the sound of his heartbeat as he spoke on the phone.

There was a deep inhale and the familiar crackle of him smoking that always used to relax you. “Saw your story by the way. Is that your new boy toy? Two of you look good together.” He exhaled and his voice was kinda slurred. “Kinda glad you moved on though. Thought you’d never get over me to be honest.”

“Oh fuck off,” you mumbled. He was still as full of himself as he was when you both ended things almost a year ago. If this was a regular phone call you would’ve hung up or told him he’s not that special, but you looked down and still saw another six minutes left. What the fuck else could he possibly have to say to you?

He chuckled again, and it was so obvious he was drunk now, which surprised you as he was a heavy weight and in your three years of dating you saw him get drunk only twice. 

“You looked so fucking sexy in that dress, baby.” His groan had you squeezing your thighs together. “I can tell by the way he was holding you in those fucking videos he can’t handle you the way I can. He hasn’t fucked you yet, has he? Bet he’s real gentle and sweet with you not knowing you like it deep, and rough. Fuck, man.” He exhaled, rubbing his palm on his face. “Wanna know what I’d do if I was there with you baby?”

“...yes,” you whispered weakly to yourself. It was pointless; he couldn’t hear you and yet you were responding like he could. Blame it on the alcohol but there was nothing you wanted more than Ran right now.

“Bet you do. I’ll humour you though. I’ll take you to the dance floor and run my hands all over that body of yours, force that pretty head of yours back so I can mark all over your neck. Get you so hot and bothered till you’re begging me to fuck you. That happened one time didn’t it? Remember that one night in the club? I had my hands all over you and you dared me to flip your skirt up and fuck you right there. Man, you were such a tease, and a fucking sadist too. Remember when you said you wanted to watch some schmuck clean up my cum from the floor?”

You giggled and bit your lip, teasing your hands down your stomach. You remembered that night perfectly. Ran changed you when you were dating. You don’t even recognise yourself right now because everything just felt right when you were with him. Those years with him were the best of your life, you were young and figuring shit out. You’re still young and figuring shit out, but without him you’re taking a little longer to come to the conclusion of certain things.

Ran had his ups and downs. He was far from the perfect boyfriend, and he knew that. That’s why he was so surprised when you stayed for all those years despite his flaws. He was emotionally unavailable and never spoke about anything concerning him. He was sometimes rude and blunt when pissed off, and the arguments you both would get into would end up in the two of you ignoring each other for weeks. At first you’d be the one to break the silence and show up to his house and just hug him. He’d always smell like cigarettes and it should’ve disgusted you yet you couldn’t help but feel comfort. The smell was strong and yet it never bothered you when you smelt it on him. You’d apologise, crying in his arms as he embraced you back, rubbing up and down your back as you vented it all out in his chest, wetting his shirt with your tears. If he had people over he’d tell them to get the fuck out, hiding your face in his chest until the door closed.

That was the usual routine until the arguments got worst and your pride grew stronger and you’d refuse to talk to him  until he broke it first. He didn’t believe you at first but after a month of no contact he finally broke it first. Since then, he was always the one apologising first, showing up to your house in the middle of the night at random hours to tell you he’s sorry and didn’t mean what he’d said. 

The ups were better than the downs in the relationship. He’d teach you things, he always made you feel good, and simply being next to him was enough to make your entire week, even if it's for a few hours. He made you feel like the only girl in the world, like the most special girl to exist, and he helped boost your confidence by buying you nice things like clothes, accessories, lingerie, and tell you to look at yourself in the mirror and watch as he worships your body, taking his time to kiss his way down your stomach and thighs, and once he got to your pussy he swore  he could eat you out for hours, just until your thighs were shaking around him.

The memory of his tongue between your legs had your back arching off the bed clutching the phone tighter to your ear as you squeezed a hand between your legs, playing with yourself as he talked you through it over the phone.

“Bet you’re touching yourself right now,” he exhaled shakily. “If you’re not, you better start. Want you to remember how well I fucked you every time. Can you do that for me baby?”

“Mmhmm.” Thankfully Masato takes decades in the shower so you didn’t have to worry about him walking in or hearing. Not like you would’ve cared honestly. He’s not Ran, and he won’t ever be.

“Miss you being my good girl. Fuck. He doesn’t deserve to have his hands all over you. Should send Sanzu over and fuck, get him to cut all his fucking fingers off for touching you like that. Man, I bet that idiot doesn’t know that I fucked you in that same dress you know? That’s what got me so damn bothered right now. Wearing the shit I bought you to go fuck around?”

“‘M sorry,” you whimper, parting your folds and slipping as many fingers as you could fit inside without hurting yourself. No matter whatever you shove inside there, it never feels as good as Ran’s fingers, or tongue, or cock. “Need you so bad Ran.”

“Man, wanna hear how you sound right now. Bet you sound so sweet, like usual. Could you do something for me?” You nodded and stopped your fingers movements, listening to his next words.

“Call me again. I miss you so much it’s crazy. Got so much to talk to you about. It’s been how long? Couple months since I last heard from you. And I know you don’t hate me. You never could. That’s something I love about you. Always there for me when I need you. We both took each other for granted, you know? Deny it all you want but you did. And that’s okay. But I wanted to let you know if you ever come back into my life, I’m not letting you go. For real, not making that mistake again. I dunno why I called you tonight honestly, just drank a lot and now I fucking miss you. Call me or not, it’s up to you.”

Then he said the words that made your heart nearly stop and freeze over in your chest. “I love you.” 

Before you could even say it back the voicemail ended, leaving you conflicted.

[kikyo-writes]

Reader with a memory loss condition, any character, hella angst 🙏

BAKUGOU KATSUKI | MEMORY LOSS

Katsuki thought he’d lost you for good. The sight of you covered in blood, eyes squeezed shut, and barely even breathing... it was almost too much to bear. If he couldn’t even protect the person he loved most, then how the fuck could he call himself a hero?  

But against all odds, you survived. The universe decided to have mercy this time, even though he’d failed to protect you. He’d fucked up, and the guilt would follow him forever, but at least he was being granted a second chance.  

Unfortunately, your life had come at no small price.  

“I have to warn you, Bakugou,” the doctor frowns. “She’s... different now. All of the healing and surgery have taken care of her life-threatening injuries, but she suffered severe head trauma, and it’s put her in a state of disorientation.”  

Katsuki clenches his jaw. “What are you trying to say? I know it’s gonna take her a while to recover. It’s not like I expect her to be up and running right away. As long as she’s safe—”  

“I’m referring to her brain. Well, more specifically, her memories. We did an initial screening, and it’s quite clear that she’s suffering from amnesia.” The doctor offers a sympathetic smile. “I just wanted you to know, so that you can prepare yourself.”  

“...oh.”  

Katsuki doesn’t know what else to say. Really, what can he say? You’re alive. That simple fact alone is worthy of celebration. He's just grateful that you’re still here, living and breathing. He doesn’t have to say goodbye to you. He’ll never, ever be ready to say goodbye to you.

“This is still a very early diagnosis,” the doctor reassures. “Following a traumatic event, some patients suffer memory loss for a few days, weeks, or in rarer cases, months, but it’s not guaranteed to be permanent. In fact, temporary amnesia is far more common. It just takes a while for the brain to repair itself.”  

“I get it,” Katsuki nods. Right. It’s all going to be fine. You’ve just come out of a life-threatening battle, so it’s no wonder if your mind is in disarray.  

There’s no need to panic. Katsuki loves you, and you love him.  

As long as you’re together, whatever it is, you’ll get through it.  

“If you’re ready, then you’re welcome to go see her now,” the doctor encourages.  

Katsuki doesn’t need to be told twice. He steps into the hospital room without sparing a breath, and sure enough, there you are. Sweet, lovely [Name]. The love of his life, all covered in bandages, but looking just as beautiful as always.  

Katsuki swallows his tears. He already cried his heart out when he first thought you were a goner, and he cried even more while you were in intensive care. There’s no point in crying anymore, not when you’re alive and well. Seeing him with a weak, broken expression won’t do you any good.  

For your sake, he needs to be strong.  

“[Name],” Katsuki mumbles. He walks over to your bedside and pulls out a chair so he can sit close. He isn’t normally much of a smiler, but being next to you like this—something he thought he’d never be able to do again—makes his lips curl up at the sides and tremble in relief.

You’re alive. Your injuries have been healed, for the most part, and there won’t be any lasting damage. There’s no reason why you won’t be able to keep enjoying life, just as you've done up until now.  

Overwhelmed with emotion and the desire to feel the warmth of your skin against his, Katsuki reaches out to grab your hand.  

You recoil immediately, and in that moment, Katsuki’s heart shatters.

“Sorry,” you swallow. “Um. I don’t... I don’t know who you are.”

He feels like he’s about to throw up. The doctor mentioned amnesia. He did mention amnesia. But... isn’t this way too extreme? This is like the kind of stuff that happens in movies, or when elderly patients are in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s.  

You blink, searching his expression for a clue. “I’m sorry,” you frown. “I feel like I should know you. It sounds like you know me. But it’s just hard. It feels like my head is all foggy. I’m really, really sorry...”  

And then you start crying. You cry and cry, even though you can’t possibly be to blame, and all the while, Katsuki is helpless to do anything but watch.  

“It’s not—” He swallows hard, wiping his eyes so that he doesn’t start crying too. “I-It’s okay,” he chokes out. “It’s not your fault, [Name]. I’m Katsuki. Bakugou Katsuki. Does that name sound familiar at all? It’ll come back to you. I promise it will.”  

“I don’t know,” you sob. “I don’t know. I just don’t know...”  

He’s never wanted to hug you more in his entire life, but how can he? From your perspective, he’s nothing more than a stranger. You wouldn’t even let him hold your hand. All of those years spent together, all of those incredible memories you’d shared... they’re gone. Just like that.  

“It’s not your fault,” Katsuki mumbles brokenly.  

He says it again and again, but he’s not even sure you hear him over the sound of your own cries.  

The past few months have been the hardest of Katsuki’s entire life, and regretfully, the days ahead aren’t going to get any easier.  

Your amnesia is permanent. Or, at the very least, the odds of you making a recovery at this point are so small they may as well be zero.

Katsuki isn’t the only person you’ve forgotten. You forgot a good chunk of the classmates you went to U.A with, major life events, and even certain encounters with villains—including the very incident that nearly claimed your life. The doctor said it’s very common for traumatic events to be forgotten, and while Katsuki is glad that you don’t have to remember something so horrible, why did you have to forget all the good stuff too?  

It’s just not fair. Katsuki knows he should be grateful. He still gets to see your pretty, smiling face, he still gets to talk to you and hear you laugh from time to time. None of that would have been possible if the doctors hadn’t fought tooth and nail to save your life. At least you’re still young, your body is in healthy, functional shape, and the personality he fell for is still largely unchanged.  

Katsuki doesn’t want to complain. He doesn’t want to take what he still has for granted.  

But it just really fucking hurts.  

He hasn’t been able to hold you in months. He hasn’t been able to kiss you either. Even though he’s told you that the two of you used to date, you’ve forgotten all the reasons you fell in love with him in the first place. It’s taken time for you to let your guard down, especially since everything’s so difficult to make sense of.  

You’re friends. At the very least, Katsuki is still a part of your life. But every time he cracks an inside joke or accidentally makes a reference to something that happened in the past, and he sees the confused look in your eyes, a part of him breaks.  

Still, he refuses to stop trying. He’ll never stop trying. The doctors said that certain memories can trigger other ones, and in rare cases, even patients with severe memory loss were able to make a miraculous recovery.  

Katsuki never used to be the type of person to hold out hope for a miracle, but nowadays, it’s all he ever wishes for.  

“It’s pretty here,” you say, sighing happily. Your gaze flickers towards the beach’s shoreline, and you admire the gentle, rippling waves as the sun descends through the sky.  

Katsuki just stares at you. “You’re prettier,” he replies.  

“Oh, pfft,” you brush off. “Quit hitting on me.”  

He wants to do more than just hit on you. He wants you wrap his arms around you and slam his lips against yours, meeting you in the most desperate, passionate kiss he can muster. If it was up to him, the two of you would already be rolling around in the sand right now, bodies pressed together so close that you could feel each other’s heartbeat.  

But he can’t. You’re not ready yet. You’re not ready, and... you’ve forgotten. You’ve forgotten the happiest moments of his life.  

So, he’ll wait. There’s nothing else he can do but wait. Starting over from the beginning is painful and gut-wrenching. It’s an endless cycle of despair. You might never remember. There’s a chance you might not even fall in love with him again.  

But at least you’re alive. At least you’re here with him right now.  

Katsuki will never stop trying, no matter how much it hurts, no matter how much he cries. He’ll form new memories with you, and even if those disappear one day too... 

He’ll just start all over again. 

[logansargeantsbabymom]

Too Good To Say Goodbye pt 10

Lando Norris x Fem!Reader

warnings: Sadness, more douche Logan, death

A/N: I’m sorry in advance.

part 1 I part 2 I part 3 I part 4 I part 5 I part 6 I part 7 I part 8 I Part 9 I Part 10

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Lando's POV

(back in the waiting room)

My chest feels like it’s collapsing in on itself. Each breath is a struggle, shallow and rapid, as if I’m drowning in the air around me. I can hear my heart pounding in my ears, a relentless drum that drowns out everything else.

I look around the waiting room, the sterile white walls closing in. The smell of antiseptic is overwhelming, making my stomach churn. I clutch the arms of the chair, my knuckles turning white. People move around me, their faces blurred and indistinct. I can’t focus on them. I can’t focus on anything except the gnawing fear in my gut.

My thoughts are a chaotic mess, spiraling out of control. What if something goes wrong? What if I lose her? The words echo in my mind, a constant, torturous refrain. I try to remember the last thing she said to me, try to hold onto something, anything, to ground myself, but it slips away like sand through my fingers.

I force myself to breathe, to count each inhale and exhale, but it’s like trying to hold back a flood with a paper dam. I can’t stop shaking. My hands tremble uncontrollably, and I bury my face in them, trying to hide from the onslaught of terror.

Minutes stretch into an eternity. I see a nurse walk by and I want to scream, to demand answers, but my voice is trapped in my throat. I’m helpless, stuck in this purgatory of waiting.

Every second feels like a knife twisting in my chest. I close my eyes, tears streaming down my face, and pray for a miracle, pray for her to come back to me.

3rd Person POV

Lando stood in the cold, clinical hallway of the hospital, the sterile scent of disinfectant filling his nostrils. The world seemed to tilt as he tried to process the doctor's words. "I'm sorry, Mr. Norris, but Y/N isn't going to survive the surgery. We've done everything we can, but the damage is too extensive."

His knees felt weak, and he grabbed onto the edge of a nearby chair to steady himself. The doctor's voice seemed distant, like it was coming from underwater. He couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. Just a few hours ago, he had been holding Y/N's hand, whispering reassurances as they prepared for the arrival of their twins. Now, everything had unraveled into this nightmare.

The doctor continued, his expression a mix of sympathy and professional detachment. "We can wheel her to a recovery room if you wish. That way, you can be with her for her remaining moments."

Lando's mind raced, struggling to make sense of the situation. He looked into the doctor's eyes, searching for some sign of hope, some indication that this was all a terrible mistake. But there was none. Only the stark, unyielding truth.

"How long does she have?" Lando's voice was barely a whisper, his throat tight with emotion.

The doctor hesitated before answering, "It could be minutes, or it could be a few hours. It's hard to say."

Lando nodded numbly, his heart breaking with every beat. He couldn't bear the thought of Y/N being alone in her final moments, of her slipping away without him by her side. "Yes," he said finally, his voice trembling. "Please, take her to a recovery room. I want to be with her."

As the medical team wheeled Y/N into the recovery room, Lando followed, his steps heavy with dread. He could hardly recognize her under the tangle of tubes and wires, her face pale and devoid of the vitality that had always defined her. He took a seat beside her bed, reaching out to take her hand in his. It felt so small and fragile in his grasp, a stark contrast to the warmth and strength he had always known.

"Y/N," he whispered, his voice breaking. "I'm here, love. I'm right here."

Her eyelids fluttered open, and for a moment, he saw a flicker of recognition in her eyes. She tried to speak, but the effort was too much. Instead, she squeezed his hand weakly, a small gesture that conveyed more than words ever could.

Tears streamed down Lando's face as he leaned closer, pressing his forehead against her hand. "I love you so much," he choked out. "I don't know how to do this without you."

The room was filled with the steady beeping of the heart monitor, each sound a cruel reminder of the ticking clock. He talked to her about everything and nothing, sharing memories and inside jokes, trying to fill the silence with the life they had built together. He told her about the first time he saw her, how his heart had skipped a beat, and how he knew from that moment that she was the one.

As the hours passed, Lando felt a strange mixture of peace and despair. He was grateful for these final moments, for the chance to say goodbye, but the pain of losing her was unbearable. He held her hand until he could no longer feel its faint pressure, until the heart monitor’s beeps grew slower and slower, and finally, fell silent.

When it was over, he stayed by her side, his heart shattered into a million pieces. The love of his life was gone, and with her, the future they had dreamed of. He kissed her forehead one last time, whispering, “I love you, Y/N. Always.”

Leaving the hospital felt like tearing himself away from a part of his own soul. The world outside seemed indifferent to his pain, the sun shining brightly as if mocking his grief. Lando knew that he would never be the same, that the wound left by Y/N’s death would never fully heal. But he also knew that he had to keep going, to honor her memory and the love they had shared.

And so, with a heavy heart and a life forever changed, he took the first steps into a future that now felt unbearably uncertain and empty.

When Lando got home, he sat on the edge of his bed, the soft morning light filtering through the curtains. In his hands, he held Y/N’s engagement ring, a delicate piece of jewelry that had once symbolized their future together. After her death, he couldn’t bear to keep it locked away, so he had threaded it onto a chain and worn it around his neck. It was his way of keeping her close, of holding onto the love they had shared and the dreams they had built.

-

(four months later)

Today was Lando’s first race back since the tragic death of his fiancée and his twin babies, it was the Las Vegas Grand Prix. The paddock was not as loud and upbeat as it usually was, for when everyone laid eyes on him, they all vocalized how sorry they were for his loss.

Some fans Lando had met and signed autographs for had expressed even more condolences to him and shared their own stories of their losses with their partners and/or children.

Lando never thought he’d ever have to live with not only losing his spouse but his two children too.

For Lando, race day seemed to come by faster than it ever has for him and soon enough the lights were out and away they went.

Lando started on pole with Oscar following suit in second, Carlos in 3rd and Logan not too far behind being in 7th.

The end of the race seemed to come just as fast as the beginning did. This was Lando’s second Formula 1 win but he wasn’t as happy as he thought he would be. How could he be? His Fiancée and babies who he should be celebrating with right now, are dead.

After the Podium celebration and even more people giving their condolences to Lando and saying how if Y/N was still here, how she’d be so incredibly proud of him and how she was the luckiest person on planet earth to be able to share this moment along with parenthood with him, Lando went to the bathroom in the McLaren garage to was rinse the champagne and sweat off.

Lando stood in the warm spray of the shower, letting the water cascade over him, easing the tension from his muscles. The events of the Las Vegas Grand Prix race replayed in his mind—the exhilaration of racing, the rush of speed, and the focus required to compete at the highest level. He had taken off Y/N's ring, carefully placing it on the bathroom counter before stepping into the shower. It was a rare moment of vulnerability for him, a brief respite from the intensity of his racing career.

As he emerged from the shower, a sense of unease crept over him. He reached for the towel, his eyes automatically darting to where he had left the ring. But it wasn't there. Panic surged through him as he frantically searched the countertop, then the floor, and even inside the shower stall. The ring was gone.

His heart pounded in his chest as he realized what had happened. Someone had taken it. His mind raced, replaying the moments before the race when he had briefly interacted with the team and a few fans who had access to the area. But there was no one he could suspect outright, except for one but there was no way he was capable of doing anything remotely that disrespectful.

Frustration and anger bubbled up within him. The ring wasn't just a piece of jewelry; it held profound sentimental value—memories of Y/N, their love, and the life they had planned together. Now it was gone, stolen in a moment of vulnerability.

Lando clenched his fists, the betrayal and loss cutting deep. He knew he had to find it. With determination fueling him, he dressed quickly, his mind focused on retracing his steps, questioning anyone who might have been near the area.

But even as he searched, a sinking feeling settled in his chest. The realization that someone had taken Y/N's ring from him—a tangible connection to his lost love—was a bitter blow. It wasn't just a piece of jewelry lost; it was a piece of his heart, a reminder of what he had lost and the pain he still carried with him every day.

-

The next day, as every day since she had been gone he had to deal with the memories of Y/N and their lost twins, Liberty and Carlos, surge through him, a bittersweet mixture of joy and pain. It had been 4 months, but the grief was still raw, an ever-present ache that never fully receded.

Lando’s phone buzzed on the nightstand, pulling him out of his thoughts. He glanced at the screen and saw a message from Carlos. The words made his blood run cold: "Have you seen this?"

Attached was a photo of Logan, down on one knee, proposing to his brand new girlfriend. But it wasn’t the proposal itself that stunned Lando—it was the ring in Logan’s hand. Y/N’s ring. The ring Lando had worn around his neck every day since her death.

Lando’s heart pounded as he tried to comprehend how Logan had gotten the ring. He remembered the last time he had seen Logan, just a day prior, at the Las Vegas Grand Prix but Lando avoided Logan as much as humanly possible.

Lando’s mind raced back to that night. At one point, he had taken off the necklace for a moment, feeling the weight of the memories overwhelming him. He had set it on the bathroom sink while he took a shower to rinse off the sweat and champagne from the race just a mere hour prior. He had thought it would be safe, but now he realized his mistake. Logan must have taken it then, seizing the opportunity to steal something so precious, so personal.

Anger surged through Lando as he stared at the photo. How dare Logan take something that belonged to Y/N, something that represented their love and their lost future? And to use it to propose to another woman, as if it were just any ring, was a betrayal that cut deep.

Lando knew he had to confront Logan, to get the ring back. He couldn’t let this stand. He grabbed his keys and headed out the door, his mind a whirlwind of anger and determination. He drove to Logan’s apartment, his grip tight on the steering wheel.

Lando stood at the door of Logan's apartment, his heart pounding in his chest. He could hardly believe he was here, confronting the man who had taken the ring that meant so much to him. It was the last tangible piece of Y/N he had, a symbol of their love and the future they had planned together. When Logan opened the door, his expression shifted from surprise to annoyance.

"What do you want, Lando?" Logan asked, his tone edged with irritation.

Lando took a deep breath, trying to keep his anger in check. "You know why I'm here, Logan. You took Y/N's ring. That was hers, and it belongs with me."

Logan's eyes flickered with something- guilt, maybe, or defiance. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't lie to me!" Lando's voice rose, his control slipping. "I saw the photo. You proposed to your girlfriend with Y/N's ring. That ring is all I have left of her. Give it back."

Logan's face hardened. "She's dead, Lando. She's not coming back. You need to let go."

Lando felt a surge of rage at Logan's callous words. "You have no idea what you're talking about. That ring is a part of Y/N, a part of our babies. You had no right to take it."

For a moment, Logan's defiant facade cracked. He turned and walked back into his apartment, returning a minute later with the ring. He tossed it to Lando with a look of disdain. Lando caught it and immediately checked it, feeling a rush of relief that it was indeed Y/N's ring. But before he could turn to leave, Logan's voice stopped him.

"You know, Lando," Logan said, his tone venomous, "it's your fault she's dead."

Lando froze, the words hitting him like a physical blow. "What are you talking about?" he asked, his voice shaking.

Logan stepped closer, his eyes cold. "The doctors told us she wouldn’t be able to have another kid. That she was too fragile to bear another baby, let alone two. She told you, no? Maybe she'd still be here if you kept it in your pants."

The accusation sliced through Lando, leaving him stunned and breathless. He had already blamed himself in countless ways, replaying every moment, every decision, wondering if he could have done something differently to save her. Hearing Logan admit that was like pouring salt into an open wound.

"That's not true," Lando whispered, but his voice lacked conviction. He wanted to believe it, but the guilt was too deeply ingrained.

Logan shrugged, a cruel smirk on his face. "Believe what you want. But you know I'm right. You knocked her up and now she's gone. And now Yelena has to grow up without her mom because of you."

Lando's heart shattered at the mention of Yelena, Y/N's one-year-old daughter from her previous relationship with Logan. The thought of Yelena growing up without Y/N was almost too much to bear. He had tried to be there for Yelena, to fill the void left by Y/N’s death, but it was never enough. The little girl had lost the most important person in her life, and the weight of that loss crushed Lando.

"Yelena..." Lando's voice broke. "She doesn’t deserve this. But neither did Y/N. Your relationship was toxic, Logan. She was happy with me. We were building a life together, a family. She died because of complications with the pregnancy. Even if the doctors told her that she couldn’t have another baby, she never told me! You can't put that on me."

Logan’s sneer faltered, replaced by a flicker of something—regret, pain, maybe even recognition. "She chose you," he said, his voice bitter. "She was happier with you. But that doesn’t change the fact that she's gone."

Lando’s anger surged again, mingling with his grief. "You’re right, Logan. It doesn’t change anything. But blaming me doesn’t help either. We all lost Y/N. We all have to live with that."

Logan looked away, the fight draining out of him. "Just take the ring and go."

Lando turned and walked away, each step feeling heavier than the last. Logan's words echoed in his mind, stirring up doubts and guilt he had tried so hard to suppress. When he got back to his car, he sat behind the wheel, staring at the ring in his hand. The accusations lingered, poisoning his thoughts, but he forced himself to focus on what mattered: Y/N, their babies, and Yelena.

He put the ring back on the chain around his neck, feeling its familiar weight settle against his chest. Despite the pain, he knew he had to keep going, to honor Y/N’s memory and the love they had shared. Logan’s words had cut deep, but Lando refused to let them define him. He would carry the ring, and the memories it held, with pride and determination.

As he drove home, Lando made a silent vow to Y/N and their lost children. He would remember the love and the happiness they had brought into his life, even if their time together had been cut tragically short. He would find a way to heal, to move forward, and to keep their memory alive. And he would never let anyone take that away from him again.

And for Yelena, he would be there as much as he could. He knew he could never replace Y/N, but he would make sure that Yelena knew how much her mother had loved her. He would tell her stories, share memories, and keep Y/N’s spirit alive in her daughter’s heart. Because that’s what Y/N would have wanted. And Lando would honor that, no matter how hard it was.

-

I may or may not have let a tear or two slip but unless you guys want an alternative ending, this series ends here 💔.

Thank you to each and every single one of you guys who’ve read, commented, reposted or shared this post. To the ones who accidentally found it on a different chapter and gave the whole thing a chance. To those who’s been here since the sneak peek I put out in May. To the ones who comment as they read.

Thank you to everyone on Tumblr who let me post my writing and to the ones who want to see more!

I have loved writing every single part of this story (even when I had major writers block for part 7) and I’m so happy you guys are taking time out of your day to read each part as they come out!

Goodbye “Too Good To Say Goodbye” Series, I have loved every bit of you but I do have to make room for other upcoming series!

Taglist:

@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999 @dark-night-sky-99 @rougekiki @xoscar03 @jess-wither @bountychanti @dhanihamidi @tellybearryyyy @a-panseuxalmess @love-simon @tallrock35 @iiaik0ii @Milkyymelanine @ilovsyou3000morgan @styl1shl1v @eddieharrington

[hana-no-seiiki]

REJECTION

YANDERE! IDOL! OC! (EVE) x IDOL! READER BLURB (ft. new ocs!)

Before we start, I’m excited to announce that I’m finally starting an HNSVerse webtoon/comic series w/ our starting story ( being the one Eve/Jisoo is featured in ) Love ♡ Multiplied ! Invasion of Your Heart this fall. Hope to see you guys during its release ehe.

If you’re new to my blog, go ahead and check the tag hns.eve for more works of him, or check out my master list.

Without further ado, here’s Eve’s first ‘solo’ fic! Enjoy!

warnings: yandere themes (obsessive love, violence, unreliable narrator). mentions of alcohol abuse/alcoholism. incel/nice guy jisoo. profanity.

status: unedited

©️ both the art and story belong to me, please do not redistribute, repost, translate or share without credit/permission.

this particular fic is safe for minors (16+) so no mdni on this folks. feel free to enjoy.

[previous fic / prequel to this fic]

“I’m sorry, but I don’t like you that way.”

Jisoo never truly knew the power of words til he heard you after his confession.

He prepared months in advance, with a dedication that was unusual to him at the time.

He picked the perfect venue, the one convenience store you two always ate onigiri at. He picked the perfect time, sunset — to really set the mood — and a week after monthly examinations so that emotions were not running too high. He spent hours, days, maybe even weeks just agonizing over the words to choose when he finally poured his feelings out. He even prepared for times after the

Throughout his whole time as a trainee, nothing felt as bad as the dejection your words gave him.

“W-what do you mean?”

“You’re more of a dad to me . . .” He saw your eyes flick left and right, clearly uncomfortable with the arrangement despite the plan he meticulously concocted.

Still he could not control the poison from injecting itself within the crevices of his inflection, his delivery coming out as awfully sour — maybe even petty, “A dad? You’re older than me.”

“Yeah, a dad friend. You’re the more mature one between us and . . . I just — I just can’t see you romantically.” If the damage wasn’t enough, you ended your explanation with an emphasis. “Ever.”

You then grabbed your belongings and left. Though, being the polite and kind person you were, you made sure to at least give him a farewell.

Jisoo sighed, looking up towards the convenience store ceiling lights. The sting from the bright luminance distracted him only a little bit before his mind went back to you. Consumed by his thoughts, his heart suddenly began beating a million times a second. A sudden adrenaline rush overcame him.

If you didn’t like him because of his personality, he’ll just go ahead and change that up a bit.

The day right after, Jisoo found himself doing something he would have never even thought of. It was amazing how much you made him realize and change. It was actually why completely fell in the first place.

Though, the changes before were natural and a bit too slow. Jisoo needed to have you as his as soon as he possibly could. And so, change had to happen now and under his jurisdiction.

You weren’t present that day, so it wasn’t too out of the ordinary to follow a couple of trainees out when lessons concluded. Usually he was completely stuck to your side and your side alone. Conversation didn’t come naturally to him, as such friends don’t either.

It took him a few minutes to man up and a long, deep breath to finally attempt getting one of the trainee’s attention.

Daehyun was his name, Jisoo thinks. When getting the former’s attention he opted to tug the guy’s sleeve just to be safe.

“What’s up? Oh, it’s you. ” Daehyun turned around. His silver eyes sparkled underneath the late afternoon’s sunlight. He was one of if not the best dancer in Celestial Entertainment. In addition to that, he was known for charming personality and magnetic stage presence.

Frankly, Jisoo only saw him as annoyingly bright and cheery. They were exact opposites. They fought on a daily basis.

But that was exactly why Jisoo needed him in particular.

“You’re childish.” Jisoo began.

Daehyun’s jaw goes slack at this cool, raven haired giant’s audacity. Most of the time he’d come back with a retort but he was utterly drained from practice. “Ah. . .Okay then. . . Well I gotta go — “

Daehyun jerked his arm away, but that only prompted Jisoo to fully grab him by the bicep, “Teach me.”

“Sorry, I think I’m misunderstandiny you. You want me to teach you how to be childish?“

Jisoo nodded vigorously, “I want to be a better idol. And . . . a better fellow trainee. Listen. I’ve been a terrible person to everyone here. I just want to be better.”

Daehyun doesn’t answer for a long time. Maybe even minutes pass before he did. At least, enough time for the trainee walking alongside him to realize his partner wasn’t near him anymore.

His jaw was still wide open.

“Wow, points for self-awareness yo. Finally.”

“Bold words for someone in punching range.” Jisoo lets go of the shorter man’s arm and crosses his. An eyebrow raised.

“Fine, fine. Guess your short temper hasn’t gone anywhere. Time for Being Chill 101, yeah?” Daehyun then shouted to his companion, an even shorter guy that Jisoo dreaded asking help from. But he was desperate. Beggars can never be choosers. “Hayate! C’mere! Jisoo needs a lil help!”

“Eeehhhhh—?! Jisoo? Asking for help? The gods have answered our prayers!”

Jisoo soon realized that he asked help from a bunch of hooligans.

If he faces rejection again after all this trouble, he might just murder a man.

“Hey.” You walked towards Jisoo with your usual smile.

“Heyyy!” He greeted back. Earning a confused look from you as you sat beside him.

You chuckled at his strange demeanor. Well, maybe it wasn’t so strange. You knew Jisoo could be quite awkward at times. Considering you haven’t seen each-other for months by now, he must feel weird talking to you all of a sudden. Especially after what you did last time. “What has gotten into you?” You asked. It was either your earlier theory or the effect of him hanging out with other people. You heard he started spending some more time with other trainees. Even going on drinking sprees with large groups. You didn’t approve of such activities but were too busy to scold him on the topic lately.

But apparently both of your guesses were ‘wrong’ as he had answered, “Huh? Me? Pffft. Nothing. Justa — think I drank too much coffee.”

You could smell the stench of soju and beer in his breath now that you were closer. “Right. I just wanted to say that we can still hang out you know. Doesn’t mean that I rejected you that we can’t talk anymore.”

“Oh, sorry! Sorry. Did it feel like I was avoiding you? I was just busy with Idol Image training.”

“Idol Image training? I thought you hated those lessons.”

“Ya know me. Indecisive and impulsive as always.”

Jisoo grinned at you. But all you could do was cringe out of pity and guilt.

Apparently the guilt you felt wasn’t enough however as you decided that it was now or never to rub some salt into gaping hole of a wound.

“Almost forgot. I have to tell you something. I got a deal to be a solo artist.”

“Solo what now? I thought we were debuting together.”

“Looking at how you’re dealing with my rejection. I think it’s safe to say that us working and living together won’t go too well. I don’t want to lead you on. We’re friends. Nothing else. Sorry if I did so before.”

You didn’t even let him show you how much he’d improve. How much he worked on his way with words and conversation. Before he even had the chance to show his work you had not only rejected him once again but extinguished any hope from forming.

For once in these past few months when Jisoo had been the most talkative he had ever been in his life, he found himself speechless again.

“Soo?”

“I’m . . . proud of you. Really.”

The awkward air was too much for your to bare, so you left right after. Not a goodbye or even a wave.

Instead he watched as you swiftly made your exit. A frown laced your exquisite features.

He then spotted a man. He looked quite a bit older than you. Elegant and refined, he wore a classic black suit with a long coat draped on his back. Short leather gloves that no doubt hid hands as attractive as his own face. His hair was somehow darker than the one Jisoo was born with.

But what struck the young trainee the most was the man’s pine green eyes. It was like a forest one could easily get lost in. A cliche description he knew. But it was the best he could think of.

Jisoo doesn’t realize the trance he was in until the man suddenly turned straight at him —

— and smirked.

People often saw Jisoo leave early during drinking parties. They chalked it up to his shy nature and he didn’t really have a good tolerance.

In reality it was mostly because he found a perfect victim to vent out his frustrations on that night.

It was usually a person too drunk to even understand or realize what was going on.

“Useless.” He muttered, kicking the random man’s stomach before the latter curled up in the floor in pain.

“Stop! Please stop!”

Jisoo scoffed at his protest. His red eye held no light as he continued his ministrations. This time stomping on the stranger’s cheek. “Utter piece of shit.”

The man stops protesting. All that could be heard in the cold chill of the night, was sounds of harsh impacts and Jisoo’s complaints and self deprecating words.

“Too mature? Bah. Bet that was all a fucking lie. They just couldn’t fuck a pathetic piece of shit like me.” Jisoo gave one last stomp, aiming specifically towards the man’s hazel eyes that reminded him of the person that took you.

Wait.

Eyes. Green Eyes.

That man was the CEO of Celestial Entertainment. A man known to be cut-throat and ruthless. A man who’s infamous for his apathetic nature regarding business. He probably saw your potential and thought that putting you in a group would dim it down.

Ace.

That’s it! You didn’t want to actually go solo. Jisoo understood now. Why was he so stupid?

You were just forced by that smug-faced bastard.

He leaned down, happily whispering in a sing-songy voice to his victim. “Thanks man. You really helped.”

“Woah.” A familiar cheerful voice resonated from behind him.

Jisoo froze.

He was done for. He was going to jail. This was it.

No, he had to calm down. Think rationally. He studied for this goddamn it.

Jisoo slowly spun his head. The happy expression on his face was instantly replaced with a horrified one. A look of confusion, fear and sadness. “Daehyun - 형 . . . he . . he came unto me— “

“Shit bro. No worries I got you covered.”

With rejection came realization. With charm came blind support. And with the right words and proper delivery, any person could be swayed.

“Wanna go drink after this?”

“You paying?”

Jisoo wished, for the good of everyone else and himself, that this green-eyed monster would not freely give rejection as you did.

[ TRANSLATIONS ]

형 - hyeong - older brother (not literal). honorific used by men towards those who are older (also men).

©️ hana.no.seiiki - yun | 2023

[anodymalion]

Oh man oh man I just saw an Outer Wilds fanart done in the style of a tarot card and I had to immediately drop everything I was doing to think through what an all-Outer-Wilds version of the major arcana would be. I think I have it, it's under the read more because it's long and also there are major major spoilers (unsurprisingly).

0. The Fool: The Hatchling This one is easy. The hatchling is at the beginning of their journey, stepping into the unknown.

1. The Magician: Pye Bringing intention and direction, choosing a path, and channeling cosmic power - yeah I think Pye of “science compels us to explode the sun” fame fits this pretty perfectly.

2. The High Priestess: The Nomai Statues Ok, I kinda struggled with this one, but I think it works. Hidden knowledge, dealing with the mind, the subsconscious vs conscious, veils between worlds. The statues are mysterious and they transmit your knowledge to your previous selves. That fits decently well and also I don’t have a better idea.

3. The Empress: Timber Hearth Ok, I really struggled with this one. I’m going for the themes of creation, life, nature, and nurturing by choosing Timber Hearth since it is literally where life in the solar system grew. I'm not happy with this but whatever.

4. The Emperor: The Vault Authority, establishment, control to the point of domination. They sealed the Prisoner in the vault for defying the system. Plus the Vault looks cool and imposing so we have that going for us.

5. The Hierophant: Solanum Connecting to the past, passing on wisdom, initiation into a spiritual practice (aka reaching the QM). Yeah this is Solanum.

6. The Lovers: Nomai Graveyard (Emotional damage pt 1) I’m so so sorry but it works so well. What says love besides holding your friends close as you all asphyxiate to death?

7. The Chariot: Your Ship Maybe this one is a little too literal but I still think it fits. Determination and drive, knowing where you want to go, overcoming obstacles. Also it's literally your ship. It works.

8. Strength: Chert I’m going to be honest.... Chert is here because they were the only traveler that didn’t have a card that clearly fit, and I couldn’t leave only them out when I gave all the other travelers cards, and I didn’t have another idea for what Strength should be. Hand-wavy explanation: view Strength as getting to the core of confronting your fear and anger and pain and coming out the other side, and, well, Chert having a existential breakdown and then coming to a place of calm acceptance about the inevitability of death sort of… fits…. look just pretend this one makes sense and let’s move along quickly -

9. The Hermit: Feldspar Self-explanatory. The literal solitude, yeah, but also Feldspar is this mentor figure who guides you on your journey, and is apparently happy to just sit and chill in the nightmare hell that is Dark Bramble. It works.

10. The Wheel of Fortune: The Advanced Warp Core in the ATP Change, fate, turning points, cycles - and the breaking of cycles. This is another easy one.

11. Justice: The Prisoner There are a lot of ways you can interpret this. You have the Prisoner defying their society’s rules in an attempt to do what is right, and the strangers believing they were dispensing justice by imprisoning them but actually causing harm. The more I think about this one the more I like it.

12. The Hanged Man: Gabbro Another easy one. Taking a pause to rest, passivity, acceptance, independence, seeing things differently. Plus you even get the literal imagery of them hanging on the hammock, floating in zero-g. This is a slam dunk.

13. Death: The skull + flower from the Strangers’ visions of the Eye Letting go to allow the world to change and let new things grow is literally what this vision is about. Plus it’s a skull! I mean it’s right there.

14. Temperance: Riebeck Steadiness, moderation, plus the duality of Riebeck being terrified of space but still choosing to go out into it.

15. The Devil: The Eye Signal Blocker Destruction, complicity in oppression, avoiding accountability, confronting fear (or avoiding doing so). Oh yeah I’m so on board with this being the Eye Signal Blocker.

16. The Tower: The Interloper (Emotional damage part 2). The destruction of the status quo, disaster, tragedy, upheaval. There is no question here.

17. The Star: The Eye Searching for purpose, navigating a path, themes of renewal. Plus it even kinda has a star-like shape. It’s the Eye.

18. The Moon: The Quantum Moon Look, sometimes the literal choice works. Mystery, secrets, illusions? Yeah, that’s QM alright.

19. The Sun: The Sun Who could have seen this one coming??? ….The thing is… the meaning of the tarot Sun card absolutely doesn’t match the purpose the sun plays in Outer Wilds. But there is nothing else that could be the sun. It’s the sun!

20. Judgement: The Campfire in the Starry Forest Facing yourself, facing the truth, acceptance, ultimately letting go so that you can reach the end. Yeah.

21. The World: The Big Bang The end, and the beginning.

[hollyoongs]

Hello everybody, this is your friendly girl Holly

So, beside Belift STILL giving the boys 44 more shows and celebrating two fucking years of nonstop "Fate Plus Tour," I came to speak about the current SK deepfake situation and also the case of that NCT member.

Let’s talk first about the deepfake situation. I’m beyond disgusted by this. The fact that SO MANY MINORS—whether they’re K-pop idols or just normal teenage girls—are being targeted by these vile deepfake pornographic videos is absolutely sickening. In South Korea, deepfake crimes are out of control, and it seems like every day we hear about another incident where someone’s face is digitally altered and placed in explicit content without their consent. Most of the victims are young women, and we can’t even begin to imagine the long-term emotional and psychological toll this is taking on them.

What makes it worse is that it’s not just random individuals being targeted; celebrities, influencers, and even regular high school girls are falling victim to this, which says a lot about how normalized and pervasive these crimes have become. The fact that these deepfakes are circulating on apps like Telegram, where anonymity protects the criminals, makes it even harder for authorities to stop the spread. Even though South Korea has started tightening its laws, it feels like too little, too late, because the damage is already done for so many people.

(I actually still can't believe that New Jeans, I'LLIT and more kpop idols which are minors, were in this bullshit)

Now, switching gears to the whole Moon Taeil situation... This one’s been heavy on my mind, too. We were all SHOCKED when SM Entertainment announced that Taeil had been removed from NCT because of a sexual crime investigation. Like, how does something like this happen without any of us knowing beforehand? It was already a blow when Taeil had to step back from the group due to his traffic accident last year, but no one was expecting this.

At first, there were rumors online that the crime involved minors, but the police eventually cleared that up, stating it didn’t involve minors or males. Still, the fact that this investigation is happening at all is alarming and upsetting. SM Entertainment hasn’t given too many details since it’s still ongoing.

It’s heartbreaking to see how something like this can change everything so fast, not just for him but for the entire group. NCTzens (the fanbase) are understandably torn—this is a tough situation to process.

My heart goes out to all the victims of deepfake crimes in South Korea, as well as to Moon Taeil’s victim. This is absolutely horrifying, and I still can’t fully wrap my head around how such malicious technology is being used to violate the privacy and dignity of innocent people. No one should ever have to experience this kind of violation, and the impact on both mental and emotional well-being is unimaginable. It’s heartbreaking to see how easily these deepfakes can ruin lives, and we need stronger awareness, advocacy, and legal actions to protect those affected. To everyone suffering from this, you are seen, and we stand with you in solidarity.

Tagging moots (sorry in advance): @intromortal @glitterjay @kwiwin @karinasbaby @dollyyun @alvojake @ja3yun @yzzyhee @yeonzzzn @taeghi @loserlvrss @serejae @kissofhoon @hxxsxxng @hvseung @heeslomll

[perhaps-in-anotherdream]

[CN] Li Zeyan’s Mundane Date (Eng Translation)

“I bet that you will still remember this day, this moment, even decades from now. Just like I will.”

⌚Warning⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a date, 琐碎约会, that is yet to be released on the global server! ♡

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

【Subbed Video】

──────────────

【Chapter 1】 

Big Screen: “In order to welcome this festival dedicated to love, our channel is presenting a special program named 《The Vow at Fingertip》.”

Big Screen: “We’ve collected a plethora of stories about the ring, exploring its deeper meaning beyond the ceremonial contexts…”

It’s early morning on Valentine’s Day, and the streets are already bustling with noise and excitement. Li Zeyan and I stand quietly at the entrance of the supermarket, watching the program previews displayed on the shopping mall’s large screen.

LZY: [laughs like a proud s/o ✊] Well, this is quite impressive. The prime spot throughout the whole day is going to be occupied by your show.

MC: Granted, it’s thanks to the sponsorship from the brand, but I’m really satisfied with this show.

LZY: In that case, let’s get through the checklist quickly and head back early to enjoy your masterpiece.

Finishing his words, he then takes my hand and leads me into the supermarket.

Given Li Zeyan’s personality, he had actually prepared the ingredients at Souvenir well in advance. But due to a phone call this morning, we had no choice but to make last-minute changes in our plans…

–

───── [FLASHBACK STARTS] ─────

Mr. Mills: Manager, sorry to trouble you so early in the morning.

Mr. Mills: While I was out for a walk just now, I saw a notice posted on the door of Souvenir stating that there’s a circuit malfunction in this area and the power has been out for the whole night.

Mr. Mills: I checked the refrigerator, and it seems those ingredients of yours may have gone bad.

LZY: [his voice really tends to drop to a different softness when he talks to Mr. Mills 🥺]  Thank you for taking the trouble. I’ll take care of it later.

Mr. Mills: But you prepared these for MC, right? Would you still be able to work out your plans for today?

Li Zeyan glances at me, who’s peering over from beside him, and a small smile tugs at the corners of his lips.

LZY: [while looking at you]  You don’t have to worry. I have a compensation plan in mind.

Watching as Li Zeyan ends the call, his expression composed, I hurriedly lean in and ask him about the situation.

MC: Did something happen at Souvenir? Should we go to the restaurant first and check it out?

LZY: It’s alright, let’s celebrate the festival first.

LZY: The menu won’t change, but we need to grab a few things to make up. I’ll make a quick trip to the supermarket later.

MC: I’ll come along with you!

–

───── [FLASHBACK ENDS] ─────

As each item from the list is placed into the shopping cart, I steal glances at Li Zeyan and study his completely unruffled expression, inwardly sighing to myself.

His plan fell through, and it even resulted in some damage. Yet, he hasn’t uttered a single word of complaint, appearing to have a well-thought-out plan in advance as always.

MC: [muttering] He certainly deserves the title of being the number one in emotional stability.

Li Zeyan seems to have heard my mumbling, prompting him to turn around and meet my gaze.

LZY: What’s the matter? Why are you zoning out?

MC: I was thinking, you are really good at switching your mood. If I were in your shoes and found out [MC’s Company Name] had run into some problem, I’d spend half a day just feeling upset.

LZY: Not like it’s something that can’t be remedied. What’s there to feel upset about?

LZY: It’s a nice holiday, and I don’t wish to see a certain dummy shooting her mouth off to the sky.

He gently lays his hand on top of mine and, together with the shopping cart, leads me forward.

LZY: If you zone out again, we won’t go to the snack section.

MC: I absolutely won’t! Let’s go, let’s go~

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【Chapter 2】 

The warm music of the show flows through the room, but it’s soon drowned out by the clinking and clattering sounds from the kitchen.

MC: Is there anything else you need me to do, Boss?

LZY: Help me with the sauce.

In order to increase efficiency, I volunteer to help Li Zeyan and find myself busy following his instructions, frantically running around in circles.

LZY: Pass me the thermometer.

LZY: Set the stopwatch to one minute for me.

MC: Roger!

Ding––

The oven’s timer sounds, and I consciously put on the heat-resistant gloves and pull out the baking tray.

MC: Isn’t it time to turn the sweet potato tart?

LZY: Right. If it’s tricky to turn, try lifting a corner first to test it out.

MC: Uh… it does seem a bit tricky to flip.

With gentleness and cautiousness, I proceed to operate, afraid of ruining the shape Li Zeyan has crafted so meticulously.

As I reach the last three, a reminder sounds from behind me.

LZY: Turn them faster; don’t let the oven temperature drop too much.

LZY: Don’t worry so much about the shape. For a dummy, it’s tasting delicious is what matters more.

His voice, carrying with it a smile, alleviates my nervousness a little. I turn them over and slide the baking tray back into the oven.

With the oven resuming its operation, I breathe a sigh of relief and walk back to Li Zeyan’s side, taking a sip of water.

LZY: [laughs softly]  Tired?

MC: How could I be tired? I can handle this amount of work just fine.

MC: It actually feels like that cooking game we played before. Though, I wish we could have three heads and six arms… [1]

MC: Speaking of which, do things get this chaotic when you cook by yourself?

Li Zeyan puts the lid on the pot and turns down the heat, then rubs my head with his free hand.

LZY: It doesn’t seem as chaotic when I’m on my own without anyone “helping out.”

LZY: But my sous chef here has made quite a lot of progress; at least nothing got messed up.

MC: That’s because my boyfriend doesn’t only cook incredibly well, but he is also a generous mentor!

LZY: [chuckles teasingly] I was here simply trying to better the food I cook for a certain dummy. I did not realize she was secretly taking notes.

LZY: Since you’ve been learning well, tell me, what do we need to add when we take the lid off?

I freeze for a moment, not expecting that he’d really ask questions. Resorting to thinking on my feet, I quickly pounce on him and lock my arms around his neck.

MC: Well, naturally… adding a little extra love would make it even better!

I plant a kiss on his cheek, then swiftly dash away before he can react, turning up the volume of the show.

LZY: [laughs helplessly]  Running away when you can’t answer, huh?

MC: [giggling gleefully]  What did you say? The music is too loud, I can’t hear you clearly~

Shamelessly feigning ignorance, I stand in front of the TV, grinning while casually casting a glance at the progress of the show.

At this moment, the interview with a young couple begins. The girl raises her left hand towards the camera, showing off her wedding ring.

Girl (on the show): On the day my husband proposed, he hid the ring in a dessert, saying that the dessert that day was infused with a unique formula of love.

Girl (on the show): As a result, when I took a bite, I chomped directly into this “formula of love” and ended up breaking my tooth…

Girl (on the show): We had to rush to the emergency room in the middle of the night. The pain was so excruciating that I almost refused the marriage proposal right then and there.

MC: Pfft…

I can’t hold back my laughter and glance over at Li Zeyan, who’s just a short distance away.

MC: Did you hear that, restaurant manager? You should take this as a cautionary tale.

LZY: [chuckles helplessly]  It’s clearly the gluttonous dummy who should take this as a cautionary tale.

Just as I’m about to retaliate, the doorbell suddenly rings. I pull a face at Li Zeyan and hurry off to answer the door.

Delivery Guy: Excuse me, is this Mr. Li’s residence? I’ve got a Flash Delivery package for him.

I accept the rather sizable cardboard box, then curiously glance towards the kitchen.

MC: What did you order?

LZY: Why don’t you open it and find out?

I carefully open the box and find an unexpected item inside––

──────────────

[Tidbits]:

[1] It’s a reference to Li Zeyan’s “Home Visit Date!” 

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【Chapter 3】

MC: “Chocolate fountain machine for home use”?

As I look at the name on the instruction manual, I read it out loud in surprise.

The supermarket’s holiday chocolates are already vying for attention with their romantic beauty, but I didn’t expect Li Zeyan to have an even more surprising design up his sleeves.

MC: Wow… isn’t this something you’d usually find only at hotels or fancy gatherings?

LZY: Mm-hmm. Given the unusual circumstances today, I’d have to slack off for now.

MC: “Slack off”?

Li Zeyan meets my puzzled gaze and places the machine on the table, then proceeds to gesticulate the patterns of the fountain.

LZY: Since it’s liquid, it simplifies the project by skipping several steps and can’t be stored. Once prepared, it’s only enough for a single serving.

LZY: If a certain someone has any objections, I’ll make a better one for you another day.

MC: Not only do I have no objections, but I also want to “redress injustices” on behalf of the chocolate fountain.

I wedge myself between him and the bar counter, pretending to be angry as I place my hands on my hips.

MC: How could you ever consider something as amusing and creative as this chocolate fountain as “slacking off”?!

MC: Moreover, regardless of how simple the procedure may be, Restaurant Manager Li’s creations are always one-of-a-kind.

Li Zeyan gives me a look and curls his lips into a smile.

LZY: Seems like this choice has turned out to be exactly something a certain someone would’ve liked. Since you’re so interested, why don’t you join me in making it later?

–

The “home version” of the Valentine’s Day feast still lives up to Li Zeyan’s high standards. After having our fill of eating and drinking, we finally bring the chocolate fountain to the table.

I skewer a strawberry, coat it with chocolate sauce, and take a bite. The rich aroma of chocolate blends harmoniously with the strawberry’s fresh sweetness, causing me to squint my eyes as if  I were in paradise.

MC: So, so yummy!

LZY: Easy there; be careful not to let the chocolate sauce drip onto you.

Li Zeyan fetches a sheet of paper and places it on my lap, then takes a toothpick to help me skewer the strawberries.

A warmth blooms in my heart. I lean in and hug his arm.

MC: Every dish today has been a hit, plus there’s also a certain handsome guy winning over with his attentive service. I think I ought to give it at least a four-star Michelin rating.

LZY: Is that extra star a reward for yourself?

MC: Hehe, didn’t you just say earlier that your little sous chef did a good job today?

LZY: Indeed, and the dining experience was neater than usual, too.

MC: Those who are capable do the most work, and those who work most deserve extra serving at the table! [2]

Li Zeyan smiles as he listens to my nonsense and pushes a plate of chocolate-coated strawberries in front of me.

LZY: [the indulgence hhh]  Alright, “capable one,” today you’re allowed to have a little extra.

MC: Why are you giving them all to me? Aren’t you going to have a taste?

LZY: There’s a certain dummy who’s been looking forward to this for so long, so let’s let her have her fill first.

As I take another bite of a strawberry, I keep pondering which words to persuade him to taste it. When I look up, I find that Li Zeyan has had his eyes fixed on me the whole time.

MC: What’s wrong?

LZY: It’s nothing.

LZY: I was just thinking, with the sudden change of plans today, are you genuinely okay with it?

MC: It wasn’t something within our control. Besides, just the location got changed, that’s all.

LZY: But it did eat into our time, and we missed the beginning of your show.

MC: I didn’t realize CEO Li was looking forward to my show this much, huh?

LZY: [laughs helplessly]  I wonder who kept promoting it non-stop next to my ear every day.

Grinning, I lean sideways onto his shoulder and reach out to poke his cheek.

MC: You somehow pulled off such a complicated feast to make up for it. What could I have to be dissatisfied with?

MC: Besides, the most important thing today is to be glued to the person you like; it doesn’t matter even if the time hasn’t been used efficiently.

Picking up the dessert tray, I skewer a strawberry and feed it to him.

MC: In order to make you truly understand how I feel, I warmly invite you to taste the flavor of bliss for yourself. [3]

LZY: Dummy, you’ve already mentioned the “taste of bliss” at least five times today.

LZY: Why do I get the feeling that you always seem to find “bliss” in everything you eat?

MC: That conclusion seems to be a bit of a sweeping generalization.

MC: There may be an abundance of delicious food in the world, but there are only two kinds that can truly bring me a sense of bliss.

MC: Home-cooked meals made by family members and the food you prepare with love.

Li Zeyan takes the plate and gently holds my now-empty hand.

LZY: Was your father very skilled in the kitchen?

MC: He…

MC: He was too busy with work, so there weren’t many opportunities for him to showcase his skills… but the flavors in my memory are very warm; it was the taste of home.

LZY: No wonder a certain someone has a good palette; apparently, she was nurtured well since childhood.

MC: Hehe, but I believe happiness doesn’t just stem from the flavors; the particulars are crucial, too.

LZY: What do you mean?

MC: For example, when Dad came home late from work and would accidentally add too much salt to the quick dishes he prepared, we’d end up laughing it off together during the meal.

MC: For instance, when a certain someone’s own plans went awry, he still prioritized taking care of my feelings.

MC: Like when that certain person could have simply settled for making regular chocolate, but instead, he went out of his way to design a chocolate fountain.

MC: I’m not someone who eats anything at any place without preference. Restaurant Manager Li, please don’t get the wrong idea.

I wink at Li Zeyan. He stares at me for a while, then suddenly breaks the silence.

LZY: Do you know why Souvenir always gives you special privileges?

MC: Why?

LZY: Because while a certain person isn’t very skilled in cooking, she sure is an excellent eater, and she equally excels at “paying the debt for the free meals with her words.” [4]

MC: Nonsense! That’s called showing gratitude, alright!

Unwilling to back down, I stuff another strawberry into his mouth, blocking any potential retort.

MC: Some people’s sweet words don’t last more than three seconds. As punishment, I’ll make you eat more chocolate to make amends.

LZY: [laughs helplessly]  …Dummy.

──────────────

[Tidbits]:

[2] The original sentence said by MC here was “能者多劳, 劳者多吃!” The first part of it is actually an idiom: lit. meaning, “it’s the most capable people who do the most work.”  The idiom is intended as consolation for the overworked, or flattery when making a request etc. The second part is a word-play on the idiom, so I tweaked the translation to fit the play here!

[3] The term MC uses here is “幸福,” and I had to sit on this one for a while to use a term that is not too wordy but still carries a closer meaning to the CN term. While it essentially does refer to “happiness,” the term carries a deeper connotation than 开心 (happy) / 快乐 (joyful), which refer to short bursts of bright emotions. Whereas “幸福” refers to lasting, fulfilling happiness and holistic contentment~

[4] The term Li Zeyan uses here is “吃人嘴短,” which he’s cleverly re-generated from the proverb “吃人嘴软, 拿人手短” to get his message across efficiently. I’m just too tired to explain the inside joke here LOL, so I opted for a wordy translation to try to get the message across nonetheless.

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

—

【Chapter 4】

Host: Auntie, how do you usually store your ring?

Granny: Store it? I’ve never taken it off. I keep it on even when I’m working.

Granny: In our generation, we didn’t fuss over all those things. Besides, life inevitably keeps throwing urgent matters at you, so there’s little to no time to ponder over such matters.

While listening to the conversation on TV, I hand the last plate on the table to Li Zeyan.

After a quick rinse, he loads the plates into the dishwasher. Just as he straightens up, I hug him from behind.

MC: We just finished eating; why not rest for a while?

LZY: [chuckles indulgently] What? Are you saying eating can tire you out, dummy?

MC: …don’t you feel a bit sluggish after eating too much?

LZY: [that indulgent tone intensifies x10]  No wonder I feel like I’m carrying extra weight on my back.

Hearing the obvious laughter in his voice, I let out a couple of “hmphs” and continue to lean against his back without a care in the world.

LZY: A certain someone here has eaten her plate clean so thoroughly, lightening the load quite a lot, so this shouldn’t take too much time.

MC: That’s an essential skill for a Souvenir diner! But every time I see you being so diligent, I feel a tad embarrassed.

MC: It’s one thing not to procrastinate at work, but how can you not be lazy in your everyday life as well?

LZY: Wouldn’t it be more of a hassle if everything piled up at once?

LZY: Taking care of things immediately when they happen also helps avoid any unexpected complications.

Thinking back to how he methodically rearranged everything this morning, I can’t help but sigh with a twinge of envy.

MC: I’m so lucky to have you around; it’s what could make today so delightful.

LZY: Even after having to do so much work, you still consider it delightful?

MC: Yep! Cooking with you is like playing a game, but without the need to worry about failing any levels!

LZY: Dummy has a knack for turning any place into an amusement park.

MC: Then you’re the amusement park manager!

Li Zeyan finishes washing his hands, turns around, and boops the tip of my nose.

LZY: [in the softest of tones]  It seems that with you around, I’ll never have to worry about being unemployed.

LZY: Let’s go. Let’s focus on watching your show.

—

Li Zeyan pulls me to nestle into the couch. The show has now reached the interview segment, and the host is asking the elderly woman about the happiest moment of her life in the decades that have gone by.

Granny: If I had to choose one, it would be one night before going to sleep, when my husband touched the ring on my hand and said, “It’s all scratched up.”

Granny: When we calculated, we realized we’ve been wearing our rings for several decades.

Host: Those rings must be bearing many traces of life, wouldn’t you say?

Granny: Yes, that’s right. At first, I wanted to reprimand him, to show him how much work I’ve done. But then I touched his ring, and it was just the same.

Granny: At that moment, I suddenly felt, this person next to me has been by my side for a very long time.

I snuggle into Li Zeyan’s embrace, intertwining my fingers with his and stroking them.

MC: If it were the two of us, your ring would definitely be the one to wear out first.

LZY: Not necessarily; we also have to take into account a certain someone stirring up trouble and acting silly.

MC: Perhaps in a few decades, I’ll have grown smarter already!

LZY: Then let’s make a bet. We’ll see if you still remember this statement in a few decades.

MC: Alright, you’re on. But we’re both in this, so it wouldn’t be fair to put only me to the test.

LZY: Go on, what plan are you hatching now?

I roll my eyes and wriggle out of his arms.

MC: You watch the show; I’ll be back in a jiffy.

I trot over to the pantry and open one of the low cabinets. Owing to the Valentine’s Day themed program, I have received quite a few chocolates from our collaborators.

I take out the heart-shaped box placed at the top and return to Li Zeyan’s side.

–

MC: Li Zeyan, I have a small gift for you.

LZY: What, haven’t had enough chocolate yet?

Li Zeyan glances at the box in my hand, then raises an eyebrow at me. I smile but don’t say anything, opening the box and putting it into his hand.

MC: Hold on~ Let me do a magic trick for you first.

MC: Close your eyes, and then just pick any chocolate from inside.

LZY: [gentle, helpless chuckle]  What kind of stunt are you pulling this time?

Despite saying this, Li Zeyan still closes his eyes and follows suit. I take the chocolate he hands me and gently tear open the wrapper.

The golden foil paper is extremely delicate and prone to tearing if handled with even the slightest bit of carelessness. But by now, I’ve already become skilled enough to roll it up smoothly.

During the filming of this show, chocolate almost became our only snack. Every time I was on the phone with Li Zeyan, I would chat with him while casually rolling the candy wrappers.

I didn’t expect the “practice makes perfect” proverb to come to fruition like this, but inadvertently, I managed to craft this paper “ring.”

MC: Done! Now, extend your hand again.

He doesn’t seem to quite understand what my intention is, so he reaches into the box for another chocolate and hands it to me.

Seeing him so cooperative, I can’t help but laugh out loud, giving his fingertips a squeeze as I hold up the “ring” I have just created.

MC: You can open your eyes now!

–

LZY: …?

Li Zeyan looks at the small ring in my hand and blinks slowly.

LZY: [YOU CAN LITERALLY HEAR IN HIS TONE THAT HE’S CAUGHT OFF GUARD 🥹]   This is…?

MC: As you can see, an exclusively customized ring from 24-karat pure gold!

MC: Handcrafted from start to finish, Mr. Li Zeyan is the only one in the world who has the opportunity to own it.

Li Zeyan is momentarily taken aback, then glances at the torn-open chocolates on the table, before suddenly breaking into a smile.

LZY: Even such a brief moment as this is ample for your creativity to soar.

MC: I’ve been planning this for a long time. You can’t just whip up such a rare ring on the spot.

MC: Since you’ve made that bet with me, I must also reciprocate.

I straighten up and slowly slide the small ring onto his ring finger.

Li Zeyan’s gaze also remains fixated on my fingertips until the ring moves past his second joint, then he lifts his eyes to stare at me again.

Under the sunlight, those deep, enigmatic eyes of his shine even brighter, an expectation as clear as crystals surging within them.

I gaze fixedly at him, his cheeks now tinged with a gentle blush, and find myself unable to suppress the smile that steals across my lips.

MC: I bet that you will still remember this day, this moment, even decades from now.

MC: Just like I will.

After a few seconds of silence, Li Zeyan tosses the chocolate in his hand aside and tightly clasps my hand with his broad palm.

Seeing that he still hasn’t said anything, I press on and ask once more.

MC: How about it? Do you want to make this bet with me?

LZY: Sure, but…

Even before the words have fully left his mouth, a sudden force on my wrist yanks me towards him. I can’t help but cry out in surprise, only to find myself falling into his arms.

A warm breath immediately envelopes me as he locks me firmly in his arms, and I find myself slowly consumed by an intense yearning.

LZY: [nearly breathless] If you want me to remember, you’ll have to up the ante.

Without waiting for me to respond, he continues kissing me, effortlessly subduing any possible protest I could have.

Even after all this time, he still kisses me with the same uninhibited passion as he did the first time. The distant time and unspoken words all melt away in the gentle caress. [5]

The sound from the television gradually fades away, and the stories of others drift beyond my consciousness.

Even without this bet, I would find it impossible to forget this moment.

After who knows how long has passed, Li Zeyan gently releases me, lowering his head to rest his forehead against mine.

I look into his eyes, so close and within reach, and feel a surge of emotion in my heart.

MC: Li Zeyan.

LZY: Hm?

MC: Will you–– [6]

Before I can say anything further, he promptly raises his hand to cover my mouth.

LZY: [HIS PANICKED TONE HHHH]  Wait.

LZY: I’ve accepted the world’s most creative ring, but please don’t say anything more.

LZY: This is something that I should be the one to take care of.

I pause for a moment, then quickly understand what he meant, unable to suppress a laugh as I hold onto his hand.

LZY: Why are you laughing?

MC: Hahaha, although I really don’t want to spoil the atmosphere, but actually, I wanted to ask––

MC: Li Zeyan, will you wear this ring to work?~ ^^

───────────────

[Tidbits]

[5] Unnecessary, really, but still a refresher– it’s the callback to his first kiss aka “Dazzling Date.”

[6] Although obvious from Li Zeyan’s reaction, I still wanna clarify– he cut MC off when she had only gotten to “你愿不愿意—” (will you/ would you be willing to)-- and the rest of that sentence typically is “(will you) marry me” (你愿不愿意嫁给我吗), which is why LZY doesn’t even take any chances and goes, “nope not happening, I wanna do it” 😂❤️

───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────

【Personal Ramblings】

Remainder of One’s Life Date: here!

─────────────────────────────────

[the-xolotl]

Dusk Meets Dawn at Twilight

Lucifer x moth!OC, Vésper

A/N: Fun fact: Vésper means evening star in latin.

Summary: Lucifer finds himself in a very low, vulnerable point and self isolation is all he knows. However, his trusty assistant unintentionally prevents that (I suck at summaries. I’m sorry :’))

—• TAGS/CW/TW: Angst, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, Lucifer struggling with very strong emotions, some use of non-verbal communication, crying, alludes to feather-picking, mentions of (angelic) blood, preening, Vésper isn’t good at emotions. but she’s emotionally intelligent enough, proof read, no heavy topics actually mentioned explicitly.

“Highness?” Vésper knocked tentatively at the door. Silence. She knocked again softly a couple times for good measure to make sure Lucifer hasn’t somehow not heard her. Still she was met with no answer, not a sound. Which is really odd even for his normal isolation habits, causing the moth demon to worry.

Vésper bit her bottom lip debating wether this really warranted going into the King’s quarters. Lucifer could go through bad periods of depression and bed-rotting, sure; days, weeks. But to not be seen for two entire weeks and none of the staff had spoken to him at all? Not even the work shop?

Vésper heard alarms in her head after one of the maids pointed out His Majesty’s bedroom doors were locked a few days ago. Immediately, she went to his door to find it locked just how the maid had said. Lucifer never did that, he’d avoid contact when he didn’t want it but he never locked doors or hide for this long without a word. The only thing that had kept her from trying to go in by force was that there was still shuffling heard from inside for a few days, which meant he was going about his room occasionally so understanding her King’s habits she let it be until today.

With a heavy sigh, she put her hand over the key-hole entrance reluctantly, “Your Highness, I’m coming in. I deeply apologize in advance,” she said in a raised voice ensuring he would at least be warned or be prompted to open the door willingly. After a beat of silence she concentrated a sphere of energy and bumped the lock of the door with it. Unfortunately she didn’t know any refined magic to make it smoother but she didn’t have a choice. The small blast that did minimal damage to the golden hinges while still doing the trick will have to do.

Prying the door open, just enough to take a peak inside, Vésper is greeted by darkness that her eyes quickly adjusted to. “Sir?” she tried again. Movement coming from the bed caught her eyes. She squinted at the big mass on the lavish bed, a groan followed. Quickly she entered just past the door and closing it behind her, “Sir, are you ok—“ her words cut off by a growl.

“Leave. Now,” She could recognize it’s Lucifer, despite how grovel it sounded. “I can’t do that, Majesty. You’ve been gone for two weeks,” she protests taking another step into the room. She looks around the room some more now that she could see better, realizing there’s not just an absolute mess and disarray but feathers everywhere. Red and white feathers littered across the room, even on whatever she can see of the messy bed.

A deep frown formed on her brow, about to speak again but was snapped out of her thoughts at Lucifer standing up from the bed, demonic form on full display, all 3 sets of wings spreading behind him making him look taller, puffing up to make him seem more intimidating.

“I said L̷̆͜Ȅ̴̃A̷̐̚V̵̛̈́Ḛ̵͐.̸̊̄ ̴̛̫W̴̕͝H̶̡͆Ö̶ Ǎ̮R̸E YOU TO DISOBEY YOUR ̸́́K̶͑I̓͑N̷̬̔G’S ORDERS?̵͕̈́” Lucifer lashes out, a stream a fire expanding towards the moth sinner making her tumble backwards and fall ass first. Screaming in terror she raised her arms to cover face, his outburst only missing her by a hair. She trembled in unbridled fear, eyes wide and fixed on the floor not daring to look at him again.

He realized a little too late what he’d done, he tried retracting his arm back seeing his assistant in utter panic. “Shit! I’m- I’m sorry Vés I didn’t mean to—“ Lucifer stammered, his voice sounding more normal but with a shake and hints of remorse. He tried to help her up but Vésper involuntarily flinched and backed away, a small sob slipping past her lips.

“God damn it,” he whispers under his breath, taking steps back from his assistant and falling on to the floor bumping into his night stand on his way down. Lucifer groaned in frustration wrapping his wings around himself, “I’m sorry Vésper. I didn’t mean to lash out, I’m so sorry…” his voice shook with a dead tone, like he’s near tears. But she’s too shaken up to respond.

She chances a glance at him eying the feathery cocoon he’s turned himself into. She could see little trembles and shaking of his wings with each breath he took. Lucifer is clearly in a vulnerable state, one she didn’t know how to help and with the panic still present in her body it was hard to move, let alone want to get near him.

Lucifer made no more advance toward her, giving her a chance to regain her wits about her. Logically she knew he’d never hurt her but Vésper had also never seen him angry, not even his demonic form in the time she’s worked for him. It’s jarring, exactly what she expected the Devil to look like, the stuff of nightmares.

But she managed to regain composure again after a while with deep breaths distracting herself with the state of the chaotically dirty chambers. The more she looked the worse it got; not only feathers and broken belongings but specks of a smeared golden substance. Not abundantly so, but mostly on the floor at the foot of the bed and on the sheets. Small splotches she’d worry about later.

Standing, her unsteady legs finally approach the ball of wings the King had turned himself into, “Sire…” she tried to coax sitting on her knees in front of the bundle, “It’s okay. I… I know you didn’t mean it,” softly she spoke tryin to peek between the messy feathers. Another thing she noticed now that she is up close is that the golden liquid is on him. More specifically on his wings and tips of his finger tips.

Lucifer sat with his knees against his chest and face buried in his hands from what she could see from between the matted fluff. She sighed silently, “I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

He looked miserable and something in her hated seeing a typically goofy man like him in such a state. It made her chest tighten to see Lucifer so vulnerable and emotional, this is a different level that she’s never seen. Despite herself, a gentle hand rose hesitantly to rest atop one of the wings as a gesture of comfort.

When she felt the wing move under her touch she flinched back worried she’d crossed a line. The wing parted a bit exposing his face once again, “How did you manage to get in?” asking softly his wings dropped a bit around him.

Vésper shifted not wanting to tell him just yet, “We can worry about that later, Your Majesty,” her eyes taking in his disheveled appearance, “I care more about your well being. Are you okay? Is there anything I can assist you with? It’s been weeks, we’re all worried about you, Sir.” Lucifer averts his glassy eyes in both shame and guilt.

Another long stretch of silence befell them. Lucifer felt weak, a little humiliated at being seen in a vulnerable position, he couldn’t bring himself to speak again or meet her eyes. He really hoped she’d understand, knowing it’s a little selfish to expect her to just know. He opened up his wings a bit more and stretched out a hand for her to take not really looking at her still. Only when his gaze flicked down to his palm signaling to take it, she got the hint the second time he did it.

His hand is oddly warm, she didn’t really have expectations but it’s still surprising angelic beings have body warmth. Deep inside she wished she knew what to do, Vésper herself isn’t great at expressing her own feelings let alone deal with them from others. So she thinks back to the times her Mother would comfort her as a child, holding Vésper to her chest and knowing just what to say to ease the baby in her motherly instincts. Unfortunately she isn’t as good as her Mother with these kinds of things.

Is that even what he needed? Everyone needs a little kindness, her Mother would often tell her, everyone needs a hand to hold. The moth sinner’s thumb gently caresses at his knuckles, holding his hand delicately. This goes beyond professional boundaries, but Vésper gets the sense he’s dealing with much more than seasonal depression or just a down period. For now she’d allow the lines of professionalism to blur for the sake of her King.

It seemed to be the right thing to do because eventually Lucifer had unwrapped himself from his wings, now letting them rest at ease and his legs are less tucked against him.

Even though it feels like it’s been hours by now, at best an actual hour had passed, but despite that the scare Lucifer gave her has now dissipated, watching his inner turmoil pass over his features and voided eyes is still nagging at her. He felt so far away, his eyes not particularly focused on anything, lost in who knows how many different thoughts and emotions. Closed off. Vésper debated on a couple thoughts, words she could say to make him feel better.

She gnawed at her bottom lip with the words at the tip of her tongue eyes fixed on the hand she held. The professional bounds had already been crossed she thought, fuck it.

“Do you need a hug?” she asked quietly, she almost hoped Lucifer didn’t actually hear her. Almost hoped he was zoned out enough.

The ex-angel blinked a couple times his head finally turning toward her, red eyes locking with the black void that are her eyes searching them for honesty. He definitely heard her, but paused to debate whether he could really accept the offer. If he could really handle it or if she really even meant it. Averting his eyes again he nodded.

Lucifer went to open his arms but Vésper pulled him up and closer to her as she stood up. She tried to follow the way her Mother comforted her, it’s the best she could think of doing. As soon as her arms wrapped around him, mindful of his wings, she rubbed his back slowly and soothingly. For a moment Lucifer stiffen at the gentle hold, a little startled at the touch he didn’t initiate himself but found himself relaxing in her arms and returning the hug.

Silence more comfortable than the last stretched over them again, very gently swaying from side to side while Vésper embraced Lucifer. It supposed to mimic the feel of being swayed in a Mother’s arms, though she’s unsure if he found it relaxing it sure helped her keep it together in this unfamiliar situation.

“Majesty,” She murmurs to get his attention, “Have you eaten?” He shakes his head no slightly without moving away from the embrace. “Have you taken a bath?” Again, he shakes his head. She hums in acknowledgment, “How about I go get you something to eat while you wash up?” Her tone gentle, struggling to maintain some formalities.

Lucifer is still not answering verbally but by the way his grip tightens she can tell he doesn’t want to let go.

“You can’t go this long without proper sustenance, please?” she tried again, “Besides, I need to also clean a little around here. There’s golden, sparkly splotches everywhere and on you.”

The mention of the gold liquid makes him freeze. He had forgotten about that, he only hopes she hadn’t payed too close attention to his wings in that moment. So he reluctantly let’s go avoiding eye contact, rather looking around his room at the absolute chaos. He grimaces at the gross mess and snaps his fingers, clouds of red smoke enveloping the entire room. When it dissipate everything is back in its place, floors are cleared and whatever had been broken is fixed as if nothing had even happened.

“Or… that…” She chuckles, “I’ll be right back, okay?” Lucifer only nods and heads towards a door on the other side of the room that she can only guess is his bathroom.

Taking a little longer than intended, but with practically a full food cart she returns to Lucifer’s private quarters. Knocking she warns of her arrival, “I’m coming in,” opening the door slowly and peeking to make sure she’s alright to come in. She’s greeted to the sight of the King sitting at the edge of his bed with messy damped hair undone wearing silky night attire with a duck pattern. Of course, she thinks shaking her head with the tiniest endearing smile. His wings are wrapped around him lazily again as he watches his assistant coming in.

“I don’t expect you to eat much or all of it,” She clarifies with a firm but gentle tone, “But do eat your fill. However much or little that is.”

The moth sinner rolls up to where he’s sitting and parks the cart in front of him. The first thing he goes for are the pancakes, Vésper finally relaxes since she came into the room hours ago. This is progress.

Lucifer offers by pointing at one of the plates but Vésper declines with a polite 'Thank you'. She takes a closer look at him, specifically the wings she doesn’t get to see very often. They were clean now, but still made a complete mess with askew and crooked feathers.

“Suit yourself, V,” Lucifer speaks for the first time since his earlier outburst. She grins, “Ah, and so he speaks,” she meant it as a small tease but the relief washing over her betrayed her a little making it sound like an endearing remark.

Lucifer sighs with a self-deprecating smile, “I apologize…Old habits.” The atmosphere threatens to turn tense again, “And I deeply apologize for scaring you and… almost hurting you. I really didn’t mean to,” Vésper can see the evident regret and honesty behind the apology. Except he didn’t really need to apologize, she had already forgiven him.

“You needn’t justify anything to me. If anything I should apologize. I was rude intruding in your privacy, Your Highness.”

“Lucifer,” he corrects.

“Pardon?” Vésper whips her head to look at him, eating the last bite of the pancakes.

“You might as well just call me Lucifer,” wiping his mouth with the napkin his put on his lap and sitting further up on the bed.

Vésper’s eyes widen at the scandalous suggestion, “I could never-“

Lucifer interrupts her, “You can. Your Kings says so,” a shit eating grin spreads across his face. How does she forget this man embodies the sin of Pride?

She sighs reluctantly, but still avoids saying his name, “As you wish,” is all she replies. He looks damn satisfied with himself, and she can’t even be bothered by the little antics being she’s more at ease that some of his usual personality is back.

With a deep inhale of air Vésper stands fixing her clothes and adjusting her neat attire. She rolls her shoulders slightly and stretching her own wings to ease the tension from the muscles due to the anxiety she had experienced most of the day. “Some rest is in order, yes?” She asks in her more formal tone looking at Lucifer expectantly. His smile falters and there’s visible disappointment in his eyes.

“You’re leaving?” What he wanted to ask is if she could stay, but being more aware of himself and senses more alert his pride didn’t allow him to ask so outwardly. He’d let his guard down enough for a life time, but the sinking loneliness is winning out. Feeling consumed by a darkness he’s barely escaping, Lucifer craves company so excruciatingly bad.

She also sensed it, even without knowing much about him it’s palpable. It just takes a little bit of empathy to realize he’s not doing well and he desperately needs something or someone to ground him in these trying times. She takes a glance at the window, bright red sky now a dark auburn indicating it’s late night. “I’m interested in you getting a full night’s rest. If my presence helps, I’ll stay if you so wish it,” Vésper offers. Meeting in the middle, she supposes in her head.

“Yes,” Lucifer nods, “Please.”

Vésper sat back down where she had been previously. However, Lucifer didn’t immediately tuck himself under the covers, instead stretched his wings in front of him. Slowly and delicately his clawed fingers started at the tip of his wings to take care of the messy feathers.

The sinner tried not to stare too deadpan at the King casually preening his expansive wings. Which now that she could take a better look at them, even in the dim light they seem to sparkle beautifully like freshly fallen snow. Or stars. Then she remembered he’s the morning-star.

She wonder how heavy 3 sets of wings are on his back, specially when all 6 of them are taller than he is.

She looked away closing her eyes briefly, feeling so unbecoming of shamelessly gawking. Even if he is right in front of her but it’s such a rare sight to behold it’s hard to not look. She glanced back again to see Lucifer struggling to comfortably reach the feather back rows. Without thinking before speaking she asked, “Require some assistance?” Lucifer looked at her pausing all his movements. Realizing what she said she wanted to disintegrate in that moment but she remained composed despite the embarrassment rising hot up her spine.

“Uh…” he blinked a few times, eyes looking between his wings and her, “You know what, fuck it sure. Just um… Be careful.” Lucifer shifted his position, showing his back to her. He laid out a singular wing out while tucking the other ones in. “It’s easier to do it with your index and thumb uh…” he makes the gestures as he explains, “And straighten it in the right direction.”

Vésper nods. Easy enough she tells herself. She gets to work as best as she can how he had indicated her, she wasn’t half bad just slower than he is and much gentler. Which he welcomed, he found it endearing how careful she’s being and Lucifer lets her find a rhythm on her own. Vésper has never touched something so soft in her entire life completely enthralled she stops herself from petting rather than preening. His feather puff and shake every so often to keep the feathers organized.

Lucifer thought she’d only help with the ones he had a harder time reaching but Vésper continued to the next wing row by row. Lucifer just let her finding comfort in the act of service. She found more confidence to speed up and let herself concentrate, kinda forgetting who she’s doing this for. There’s an unspoken intimacy they both pointedly ignore while she continued.

For once, Vésper was tired of the silence deciding to break it, “Even if they’re right in front of me, under my fingertips I still can’t fathom how gorgeous they are,” she said warmly continuing to the next row.

She heard Lucifer chuckle, “Pure divine, heavenly beauty,” However, the tone of his voice was less cheerful this time. Like longing. “Sometimes they feel like a heavy burden, though.” Vésper is taken aback by the confession, “Now they just feel like a cruel reminder of what I use to be and what was taken away from me. Of the failure I am.”

Bitterness tinted his words with a strong mix of regret. Vésper was about to speak again when she realized his shoulders had begun to shake, so she stopped the preening instead resting a hand on his shoulder. That’s when she heard it, small sobs falling from him with tears cascading down his face. The sight absolutely broke Vésper, the usually confident facade completely torn away, his air of arrogance he carried everywhere he went completely gone. Instead there’s a shell of a man that he keeps tucked away most days and in front of anyone left.

She did the only thing she knew to do, making Lucifer turn around to face her. He wanted to protest by bringing his wings around himself protectively. However, she didn’t allow him, pressing him into another hug and bringing him to her chest she patted his soft blonde locks.

“They’re part of you, but they don’t define you. Nor does where you come from,” She spoke barely above a whisper, “You are Lucifer Morningstar; the most powerful being in all of Hell and supreme ruler. You are not a failure.”

It was like a dam that had been sealed for millennia broke loose in that moment. Lucifer sobbed and shook in her arms, emotions completely overwhelming his being. His grip tightened around her assistant, sometimes tight enough to make it hard to breathe, not mentioning it she just comforted him through it. Years, upon years of suppressed emotions came crashing down at once and there was no closing the faucet until it dried out.

No words were spoken for a long while as she held the crying King, serving as a physical anchor and solace. Broken sobs one after another broke Vésper’s heart into a million pieces. She’s never heard so much pain coming from one person and she couldn’t help but hurt for him. A few tears also running down her face before she quickly wiped them away.

“Let it all out… I’m here…” she comforted. She tried with gentle affirmations, soft reassurances and there somehow wanting to find the right combination of words that would ease the immense pain. She knew she wouldn’t, yet still tried. He bagan to apologize profusely but she only shush him and encouraged him to hold her as long as he needed. This back and forth continued until he managed to fall asleep.

She guessed the exhaustion caught up to him once morning came because once the sobs had stopped, Lucifer was out cold. She struggled to unravel herself from him without waking him, but Vésper managed to get him laid down. She went to stand but a hand tighten around hers. Lucifer is still dead asleep, and even unconscious he didn’t let her go.

She smiled softly leaving her hand in his, pulling up a chair by the edge of the bed where she would remain until he woke up again. Sleeping half sitting and leaned over the mattress will have her body aching later but she couldn’t bring herself to leave. So she justified herself with the excuse that the King had requested that she stay.

A/N: ow this one took a really heavy toll on me :’) ngl i got a little emotional while writing it. funny how i spent a few days working on two smutty shots just to write this in a couple hours. i ended up finishing this one first so here it goes.

btw ! Vésper up to this point in time where this story takes place she had never seen Angelic blood nor did she know angels bled at all.

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© 2024 the-xolotl — all rights reserved. do NOT alter, translate, or repost my works on any platform without my consent, do not claim my content as yours.

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⤷ dividers : cafekitsune ✰

[greeeengoblin]

✏ My Jason Todd angst fanfics ↴

Like Mother Like Son ;

Jason is starting to look more and more like his mother, Catherine. Things don't change, especially when he become a father.

The BatFamily was just wondering when things were going to go to shit ..And yes, Jason had a 4-year-old daughter and her psychology was not very good.

I can keep you safe In my foolish arms :

"What did I do?"

"Don't you see?" Bruce asked, approaching Jason a little more. Jason kept pulling back towards the wall whenever Bruce approached, but Bruce continued to advance towards him, and Jason fell to the ground. Bruce crouched down in front of Jason. He took Jason's painfully weak and scarred wrist and said, "Look. You tried to kill yourself, Jason, there are too many drugs in your system. You keep losing your memory every week."

"No..." Jason said. He tried to pull his wrist away, but Bruce, although not holding it tightly, couldn't let go. "No, no, no." Jason tried to get up, he couldn't breathe. He held his head and started pulling his hair, screaming, but his voice was still very tired, he was crying. "No... I'm sorry, I don't want to, I can't stand staying here." he said, burying his head in Bruce's chest. Bruce hugged Jason.

"Calm down," Bruce said in a soothing voice. He stroked Jason's hair and kissed him on the head. "I can't get you out of here, Jason, it's for your own good. You're insane."

You Make me Wanna Scream at the Top of my Lungs :

After the events of Under The Red Hood, Jayna Todd Wayne isn't sure who to trust. Even though she's not yet 17 and her father chose that sadistic clown over her, so she's not even sure of her own psychological state. Soo ... I think she's madly in love with Slade Wilson.

Bruce and the others aren't happy about it.

The Penthouse :

Opera AU

Jason Wayne was one of the rich, spoiled kids at Hera Place Academy. Timothy Drake, on the other hand, was a servant at the Wayne Manor. One day, Tim surpasses Jason in a secretly attended opera competition and begins studying at Hera Place Academy on a scholarship.

At the same time, he is also on the verge of unraveling secrets about his real family.

For example, secrets similar to those of Selina Kyle, who lost her son 14 years ago.

You're Coming Back and it's the End of the World :

"They hurt me..." 

Dick suddenly fell silent, he gathered all his strength to keep his voice calm and gentle. "I know," he said softly, his voice filled with emotion, "I know what they did. They can't hurt you anymore."

Jason's eyes twitched. Mentally unstable and with brain damage, he seemed like a nine-year-old child mentally. "They put something inside me, it hurts," he said, his voice unclear.

The trauma in Dick's eyes was evident, listening to Jason's words with pain and freshness, but he suppressed his own emotions, took a deep breath. "I know," he said gently, his voice trembling.

From you From me From us :

Jason instantly turned the gun on himself, pointing it to the side of his head. No one expected this. No one knew Jason would aim at himself.

"I can get rid of me for you..." Jason said, his voice trembling, but beneath his tear-filled eyes was a smile, a crazy giggle.

"JASON!" Dick took a step forward the moment he noticed the gun.

"DON'T—" said Jason, gripping the gun's barrel more tightly. "Today.. you will become a killer, Batman.. I will take you down with me. When I die, you will lose your essence too. You will face the consequences of the moral order you established from the beginning. I don't care about the criminals you didn't kill to avoid guilt, but you will watch my brain splatter—"

Could never tell you what happened the day ı turned seventeen :

Oh... right... My fault!" Jason felt the sobs taking over him. His body was shaking, and he couldn't stop it. "Dying was my fault, finding myself in a green liquid was my fault, becoming a stupid zombie and being completely alone was MY FAULT!" Jason stood up. "I’M SO SORRY!"

Bruce was shocked by the unexpected outburst. Still, he maintained his composure. He had never seen Jason cry since he came back from the dead, never seen him so weak, helpless, and childlike... never seen him so sad.

Jason, breathing heavily, found solace in shouting. On this birthday, he decided to do himself a favor and confess what was inside him. "I'm sorry, Bruce... I'm sorry I couldn't kill myself." Jason spoke as he wiped his nose with his elbow.

"What?" Bruce stood up, now face to face with Jason. He approached him. "What did you say?"

Crack Baby You Don't Know What You Want :

What… What’s going on? I didn’t do anything, I didn’t take any toxin and… and I swear I didn’t kill anyone.” Jason couldn’t control the tremor in his voice. If this was a punishment, it was a terrifying one. “I swear… I didn’t—”

"Shhh..." Bruce soothed, stroking Jason's hair. Dick was wiping away his tears from behind the glass. Jason's begging was truly frightening. "It's okay, Jason, it's just... the nurses need to check something..."

"Bruce..." Jason looked at Bruce with anger in his eyes. "What's going on... You're scaring me."

[eddiegettingshot]

I’m sorry in advance for the emotional damage

https://x.com/starkgalitzine/status/1797783004741275978?s=46&t=t58elbCc8nalBwGs1qqcOg

i do love when you guys send me things. really i do

[fangswbenefits]

I just woke up and immediately ran here... judging because everyone has suffered emotional damage, I shouldn’t read a new chapter while I’m on public transport...

Vic........ I am so, so sorry in advance, my friend..... 🫂🩷 but.... just look at your amazing Astarion fanart and it will lift your spirits!

[feneku]

Rescue Operation

Warnings: Mentions of blood and violence, a few f bombs

Tags: Slight F!Drifter/Ordis(Ordan), Pan!Ordis, Pan!Drifter, Post-Jade Shadows

~1.2k words

Ordis gets rescued after being kidnapped by Granum. He’s a bit of a damsel in distress here, but he gets to say fuck.

I do take constructive criticism (I will cry, but I’ll take the advice) just NOT if it’s about shipping. I’m not a skilled writer but I tried.

Alarms blared throughout the Corpus ship. Explosions and gunfire could be heard in the distance. The cephalon blinked slowly as he came to consciousness. He looked around what appeared to be a medical bay. A very advanced medical bay by the looks of it. He scowled as the memory of the Corpus assault on their camp came back to him. How they managed to distract his Operator while a lone Sister had infiltrated the Orbiter and… Damn Granum, he just couldn’t leave well enough alone.

“Motherfucker never could take no for an answer.” He growled to himself and wondered how long he’d been unconscious. Another explosion went off somewhere far away. Long enough for the Operator to locate him it seemed. Odd that the Corpus apparently left him alone. Were they too trusting or was the situation outside just that bad?

He pushed himself up from the bed with some effort. His body felt so stiff and awkward. He looked around again taking in the room. Eventually, his eyes settled on a glass cube, cracked, damaged. Dim. He stared. He looked at his hands. Realization hit him like a Grineer Thumper. That had been him. A multitude of emotions and nausea washed over him and he fell back onto the bed. It was all a little too much for him. He laid there for a while head spinning.

Another alarm sounded, shocking him out of his panic. An automated announcement warned that a section of the ship had just been exposed to vacuum. He couldn’t stay here, he needed to move. Move, find her, and get the fuck out of… where-ever this ship was.

He took a deep breath. He could do this, he swung his legs over the side and went to stand. Legs. Right. He’s had those before, he knows how to use them. Surely, it’s like riding a kaithe. Ordis slowly put his weight onto his feet and tried to take a step.

He stumbled and fell to the ground. Fuck.

The door suddenly snapped open and a woman shoved a corpus MedTech, hand covering his mouth and impaled on her sword, through it. She kicked the body off her blade, looked down at him and raised her sword-

He stared at her in amazement and an emotion he couldn’t quite identify, “O-operator?” By stars she looked good splattered with blood. He froze. Something wasn’t right here… he narrowed his eyes at her. “Where is your Warframe?”

Her mouth dropped open and her eyes widened in shock, “Ordis! There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you.” She finished off the tech that had been trying to use the momentary distraction to reach for his comm. “Granum’s forces deployed some sort of field that disables them. Modified Sentient tech, I think.” She sheathed her nikana and held out a hand, “Are you hurt? Can you stand?”

He blanched and wondered how much of that blood was hers as opposed to Corpus. He took her hand and let her help him up. “I�� I’m uninjured but… I’m not used to having a body again, yet.” He frowned, concerned. She shouldn’t have come for him, the risk of her dying… was an unpleasant thought. Fuck. It made him dizzy thinking about it.

Oblivious to his internal distress, she seemed relieved at hearing he wasn’t injured, “Good. Sorry, but we don’t have much time.” She kept hold of his hand and helped him towards the door. They could address the other aspects of his physical state when they weren’t at risk of getting shot at. She hadn’t missed the jade green glow to his eyes. What has Granum done to you? She wondered if he’d noticed it yet. He stumbled again and she wrapped an arm around him.

“I set off some explosions on the far side of the ship, but they’ll figure out it’s a distraction soon.” The Operator looked at her map display. Thankfully, there was an airlock nearby. She keyed for the liset to dock and checked the hall before exiting. Good. It was empty. She squeezed his hand, whether it was to reassure him or her, she couldn’t tell. He wasn’t exactly steady on his feet, but she could support him.

All those long months she had spent sabotaging and freeing prisoners from Narmer camps paid off. Sneaking through the ship to extraction was almost uneventful in comparison with most of the crew occupied. Dodging cameras and patrols was easy enough even with a recently re-bodied cephalon stumbling along with her. They only had a few incidents where she had had to stealthily dispatch a patrol that had been in their way.

Well, almost uneventful. As they approached their destination the Operator heard a voice barking orders that made her blood run cold. Vala Glarios, she must’ve come down from the bridge to personally handle things. The Operator shoved Ordis into one of the maintenance hallways and motioned for him to be quiet. She could handle a few Corpus troops, but a Sister too? Now wasn’t the time to find out if she could take one on without a frame. She took out a datapad and with a few taps… more explosions rang out through the ship.

Ordis looked at her in surprise. He leaned in and whispered, “Just how many bombs did you plant on this ship?”

She flashed, what some might call, an unhinged grin at him and whispered back, “A few.”

But that had gotten the leader of the Sister’s attention. She was rounding up the crew under her command and running in the direction of the newest explosion intent on catching their intruder. The Operator was once again gripping his hand, like she’d lose him if she didn’t. They made it to the airlock where a countdown had started, the lights were still red, locked. The Operator squeezed Ordis’ hand again in worry and looked back, praying Vala wouldn’t return. Those sixty seconds felt like an eternity. The locks on the door made a deep clack as the lights turned green. They were almost free.

“I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to get real close…” She looked at him with a little bit of embarrassment as she moved them into the airlock proper.

“What do you mean-“ Oh. Oh. He looked down at the smaller woman. “That… That’s not meant to fit two people.”

“I know but we don’t exactly have another option right now.” She desperately avoided eye contact with him as she pushed him towards the liset. They’d have to be quick because the sensors would trigger as soon as he was in.

As he pressed himself into place she mirrored his movements immediately. Hand over hand, face pressed into his chest, she stood on tiptoes to fit. He tried to not think about how fucking close she was to him, closed his eyes, and did his best to make room for her. As soon as he put his head back he felt the sensors click and the capsule began to rotate. It was a tight fit, but it worked.

The Operator shoved open the hatch and they climbed into the cockpit of the liset. She collapsed in front of the navigation console and punched in a destination - Lua. The small ship shuddered as the mag locks disengaged and the liset tipped away from the Corpus Obelisk. There was a small rumble as the main engines engaged… and they were home free.

[collectivecloseness]

I have this angsty mess of ideas that I don't know how to put together but I'm gonna try to explain it. So like Steve has been in love with you since like forever and you become friends in season one blah blah blah you're inseparable etc, you have the tendency saving Steve's ass everytime but then you die while saving him and steve never got the chance to confess (not really that important but I guess it adds emotional damage idk) he obviously blames himself for it and everytime his phone rings he answers with the hope that for some fucked up reasons it's you and you're actually still alive but stuck in the upside down. Everyone is concerned about him bc it feels like he's slowly going crazy and is very much delusional.

Idk if that's like very long or makes no sense at all so sorry in advance, your eyes must be bleeding after reading this. :/

Robin being the one to always check on Steve after he loses you. She knew what you meant to Steve, most shifts mentioned you, and your recent interactions with Steve, most nights were him- were the both of them, talking on the phone about you. She loved the whole will they won’t they, and the puppy love gossip with Steve. Now she wished she’d pushed more, at least Steve would feel better if you’d known.

Robin’s learnt to be more open and vulnerable, since she’s been the one to look after Steve, being emotional and like a true friend, rather than snarky and quippy and teasing with him. She’s always coming in to check on him with her key to his house, pressing her hand on his shoulders each time she says hi, unless she’s rushing to comfort him again.

Robin tells him a few times “You know I said I can move in, or we could both move to our own place! I’m lonely! Besides, I love spending time with my best friend.” Robin’s been encouraging it. Her and Steve had breiefly passed the ideas before, before you, but she got the feeling back then they both badly would have liked it, living together, but neither wanted to be the first to come on too strong and vulnerable. It was different now. And Robin really didn’t want Steve to be lonely either. Besides, Robin came over to Steve’s literally every day she could anyway.

But to Steve, Robin wasn’t you. He still loves Robin, as her own person and his friend, he doesn’t compare you two at all. But Steve worried the constant company might make him go crazier than he already feels. It also wouldn’t allow for any of his unhealthier coping mechanisms. Steve would argue in his head, even crying or screaming himself to sleep, he wouldn’t be able to do anymore, but he’d done that in front of some of his friends anyways.

Robin, Nancy, Eddie, Dustin, all of his friends all worried about him. Max, Lucas and El had come over yesterday. Joyce makes sure to drop by a couple of times a week at least. Robin came every day, while the others did sometimes, varying in frequency. They knew Steve wasn’t healthy.

Sometimes, Steve whipped his head to the side, out of nowhere, or maybe with a small sound one of them picked up, from years of fear of monsters from other dimensions. But they knew it wasn’t Steve being scared of bumps in the night. It was because he thought he may have heard you. It was a glimmer of hope, just for a second, and they hated seeing it shatter each time.

Steve did worry about bumps in the night too. Steve worried about the next time he’d have to fight, no matter what it might be. Because this time, no one would come to save him.

You were always the first to come for him. You specifically sought Steve out first, checked on him first, he was always your first choice, the one you always checked on, the one you’d always save. You were with Steve for all his fuck ups. You’d seen him grow, and he knows you’d never judged him for his past once he actually got better. Not once. No one else had done that. But you also made Steve better. And he was still scared he won’t be as much now, without you.

But on the other hand, Steve wasn’t sure he really wanted anyone to save him next time. If the next time he dies saving the others, then whatever. He couldn’t save you. At least he could be with you then.

No one would be designated to check Steve first, to save him first, and that’s what he got. Steve always put himself in front of danger first, and now he’d lost you, there would be no one to save him. It was his price.

Steve wanted to go back straight after. He wanted to go back for you the next day, and the day after. To the place he’d left you. At the end of the week, he told Robin his plans, with his rucksack already on his back. And not only did she physically hold Steve to the floor, but she locked all the doors as she walkied Eddie and Nancy - not the kids, she knew when Steve was better, even now, he wouldn’t want the kids to see him like this - and Eddie had to bear hug Steve so he wouldn’t try to leave, while all of them gently tried to talk their friend down. They said it was a suicide mission! And that’s when Steve screamed “I DON’T CARE!” Trapped in his friends arms. Screaming those words not enough overemotionally, but too genuinely, that it really got them worried. Steve was still fighting to leave. He had collapsed into tears after that. He wanted to go and he meant it.

Nancy wanted to sedate him by that point, because she was too worried Steve would leave. But Robin put her foot down at that thought. It would create a super bad spiral, and Steve wouldn’t trust them, she knew they had to do something else! Luckily Robin thought of something. Mixed in with Steve’s yells at Eddie, Eddie trying to talk to Steve, and Nancy on edge and trying to not look as upset as she probably was while getting Robin to think of something else before she snapped.

Robin called the number she knew to, and soon afterwards, Joyce was entering Steve’s home with her own spare key. Joyce let Steve cry into her lap, and she stroked his back, talking when Steve wanted to, only lulling her own assurances when he didn’t, and just soothing Steve, until he fell asleep like that, in his room with her. Robin knew Steve wouldn’t fight Joyce to leave, or yell too much at her or anything. Steve had fallen asleep early in the afternoon, and Nancy didn’t even need to sedate him because he stayed asleep, luckily for the entire night. Joyce wouldn’t leave. She wanted to stay until morning, she didn’t want to leave Steve overnight, or at all right now.

Joyce even made breakfast the morning after, making sure to stay by Steve’s side because he’d always eat her cooking if she was there. And it was a sickly sweet feeling for everyone watching whenever that happened, because Steve would take a few bites and then finish his plate clean. But they knew he’d probably only had a few bites the day before, with how much he gorged on Joyce’s dishes when she was around to eat with him.

Robin stayed in bed with Steve most nights for sleepovers. That night Joyce had, which she’d done quite a few times. Nancy or Eddie had done it several times more, too. Sometimes Steve would say look, he really just wanted tonight alone. And if they trusted the way he said it, he got that. They understood sometimes he did need that. But Robin also hates leaving Steve alone, because she knows nights are worse for him (and in general as well). She didn’t want to be overbearing though, something friends when she was younger would stop being her friends for, but a trait she’d stopped shielding when she needed to be Steve’s open support. But to be honest, even if Steve couldn’t mourn as well if he wasn’t alone at night, those mostly seemed like mourning in the destructive ways.

Steve knew he was safe with Robin, or Nance, or Eddie, or Joyce there, from monsters, and from himself. Not that he was thinking of that last part, he was trying to convince them, but he wasn’t very good at stopping his brain from eating himself alive, because he didn’t feel like he wanted to stop. He wanted punishment.

At one point, after you’d died, Eddie had tried to give Steve something of yours, an item he got from your house when he went to visit your family. When he’d explored your now, forevermore, empty room. But Steve had a moment, and was mad that Eddie had ruined your shirt, forever tainting it with his smell, and his touch, and not leaving it the way you had the day you’d gone to meet Steve and the others. Steve had later apologised for freaking out on Eddie about it. Something Eddie casually waved his hand over, promising Steve never could be freaky, and saying it was okay, he was sorry too. Steve didn’t really want to think about anymore. That top still felt slightly tainted, no matter how ridiculous Steve knew it was. He just didn’t have much left of you, that was still untouched. That was yours, and had still last been touched, moved, adored, by you. So Robin didn’t bring Steve things from your house. She’d just tell him if she found something, if he wanted to look at it, or go over later. To which Steve would generally just nod at her.

Steve had had a few moments, but luckily, he’d had friends there every single time. No matter how different the moments were. If it was him spiralling, down dangerous paths for himself. Him accidentally spooking someone, maybe by lashing out, or just not having the energy to look after someone else, even if they were upset because of his crumbling. Including the ones, where Steve would adamantly deny the facts in front of him. It was like the first two days, Steve knew you were dead. And he always did, of course. The fact never left his soul. But after that things changed, and became slightly more of a purgatory, Steve always seemed even just a fraction hazy.

One time Robin had come back to Nancy crying, and Steve sobbing loud like a broken child on the floor. Steve had sworn it was you who had called. But he’d missed the call, running and slipping since he’d been in the shower when it rang. Nancy and Robin guessed he’d been thinking about you. And with a hand to his forehead between his wails on the floor, Robin knew he’d made the water too hot, again. Steve had tried to call back, but it wouldn’t work. And he yelled at Nancy for not picking up the phone, but that was only after she’d tried to gently remind him that it couldn’t be you. And then Steve had done everything to try and call back, almost breaking his phone till Nancy had wrestled it away from him. And when he realised he couldn’t, either call back, or call you, Robin hadn’t quite gotten through to him about it, Steve had collapsed into pained sobs, so distraught, and so unable to be taken out of his pain, that Nancy was sobbing too.

El had left inconsolable once, because Steve had asked multiples times if she could somehow contact you in the upside down. No one had realised, Steve had gotten El to agree one time, until she called Joyce crying because she couldn’t find you, and now she couldn’t get Steve to talk, he just had his head in his hands. But the next day, when El came to visit, with chocolates she always liked to give Steve since she heard they were good for making people happy, he’d apologised and she was herself quite easily again. Something Robin was very relieved with, knowing it would have wrecked Steve if he thought he’d hurt one of the kids.

Dustin had been turned away by Eddie before, on days Steve said he didn’t want to see anyone, which if he said that exactly, made people come over to check if he was okay. And on a day Steve wasn’t doing very well, and had Nancy and Robin bandaging his hands up because he’d punched a mirror, swearing he saw you in the reflection in a blink of his eye, and thinking for that split second maybe it was a gateway to the upside down. Although they were pretty relieved he realised that wasn’t the case straight away, no one wanted Dustin to see Steve like that, least of all Steve. But even Dustin’s visits, as the encouraging little brother, didn’t always bring a smile to Steve’s face, even a fake one he couldn’t muster. Some days, there was just little that could help.

Robin thought maybe Steve only sometimes thought this, even if there was a 0.5% chance always in the back of his head, that maybe, somehow, you were still alive somewhere. It wouldn’t matter where, because then Steve would find you. Robin wished more than anything they had your body, mostly for you, but also for Steve, and for all your friends and family. But she wasn’t going to risk anyone, to go on a suicide mission. And she didn’t want anyone else to leave Steve either. Steve wouldn’t always bring it up. But occasionally there’d be flare ups, where Steve would go on about how you could be out there. Robin was the one who’d decided she’d never flat out disagree with Steve if he got like that. He always needed one person he felt like he could always trust. So even though she never encouraged it, even if for the first week, and now she still had that 0.4% chance in the back of her mind, she’d more try to go through why Steve thought that, and be by his side as the others tried to explain.

But Robin felt at least slightly successful with every little breakthrough she and Steve had together. She was normally there for his, even if she wasn’t the one helping him get to that point anyways. But the biggest breakthrough came a night, where the day leading up to it had been pretty normal.

Keith had actually been very generous with bereavement leave for Steve, even indulging Robin every time Steve called the store in tears, panicking, and needing Robin back immediately. Today had been okay. None of them were good. But she’d come over about 9am, Eddie calling right before he knew she’d leave, to say he was dropping off McDonald’s breakfast for them both just before ten, because he had to go help his uncle with some errands today.

Robin had helped set out a fresh set of clothes for Steve, ones Nancy had left in a pile in his room yesterday afternoon when she’d been with him. Robin smiled at her little post it notes Nancy left around, for Steve, and for his friends around the house. But Robin setting out Steve’s clothes always helped kick him up just a notch enough to get out of bed and go shower. Eddie had stayed for fifteen minutes, and Steve had even watched this time as he and Robin threw hash browns off each other’s faces. Steve sometimes found it hard to watch, when other people were smiling. Robin had been really proud of him today.

Then Steve even picked out what they should have for lunch, and although Robin wasn’t sure Steve could exactly be craving a salad, she was still really happy he’d suggested something, and got to work on Nancy’s refrigerated Tupperware boxes and groceries. Nancy liked to cut things up when she had the time. Robin was pretty slow no matter what she had to cook, because otherwise she was clumsy, and no one liked to focus on something and leave Steve alone. Nancy probably chopped things up yesterday when Joyce came to visit Steve as well.

The one time Robin cut her finger when cooking for Steve with Eddie, Steve had had a full blown panic attack, but he also either thought it was your blood he was seeing, or remembered yours. Steve threw the knife to the side, grabbing Robin’s wrists and panicking, until she soothed him into remembering where he was, and who he was with, and that she was unharmed, and when Steve was back, Eddie could take him away for a second while Robin found the newly restocked first aid kit. The other times she’d hurt herself since, she’d hidden them from Steve’s sight very quickly.

Steve had picked between a variety of activities Robin suggested after lunch, and two person board and card games it had been. Everyone had been buying or donating games to the Harrington household, even the kids had been giving theirs over. So Steve never was bored of any of the games, and he could play them.

Hopper and Karen had actually both taught Steve how to play solitaire, when Mike and El had dropped off some more game to donate. A joke even Steve gave a breathy chuckle at when Eddie said there two people to explain the most famous one player game. But Robin was glad Steve might have something to do to take his mind off things when alone. She knew focusing could be hard sometimes right now for him, so she got that they both tried to explain the game. Also, Karen and Hopper did talk over each other quite a bit in explanation.

But after that, Robin had whipped something quick together for dinner, and Steve had stayed to talk with her in the kitchen the entire time. He even got out glasses and some soda. Even though Robin did most of the talking, Steve took part, which was good. But also, Steve liked talking with Robin. Because she’d talk so much, and be so passionate about what she was saying, he didn’t even need to say much to be part of the conversation, and it was something about his best friend he really appreciated at the moment, even though he used to joke about never getting a word in edgeways. Eddie was a bit the same.

Steve held the remote as they channel surfed, sitting on the couch together with their meals on their laps, since neither of them really liked the silence while eating, and Robin was pretty talked out after finishing her story in the kitchen.

But when Steve had flicked through two news channels, he froze as he immediately recognised the scene in front of him. It was from a romance film you loved, about two thirds of the way through. Steve recognised it from the first frame, from the first note of its score, as he turned over the channel.

Robin recognised it too, although she hadn’t watched it fully, and she hadn’t watched it nearly as many times as Steve had with you. She tried to keep her face blank as she looked to Steve, only a light questioning, curious expression, to see how he was feeling, before she let any of her own thoughts and feelings make him spiral. But Steve simply said “Gotta put something on, the food.” and picked up his fork, turning the volume up enough to cover any chewing sounds, like he’d done for Robin since the first time they watched tv and ate together. That had been long before he lost you.

Steve had finished quickly, but that was just a few scenes before the most important part of the romance film. The confession scene. And Steve was crying before it had even started.

Tears streamed down his face, the two leads finally starting to open up, and explain how they were really feeling. His eyes not even brown, but looking black, so big and red ridden, his cheeks drowned. Robin felt her heart hammering watching Steve crushed again, but she tried to be the best friend she possibly could, as she was always learning to now. Robin reached just a little for the remote on the coffee table, eyes questioning on Steve. But he turned to her and shook his head, so she leaned back and kept the movie on. Steve watched the film, as Robin watched both it and him. Scooting even closer, so their sides were pressed together, as Steve continued to cry. And then, even Robin was tearing up. Especially as the scene continued. And Robin wrapped her arm around Steve’s waist, her other holding his closest hip, and they both quietly sobbed watching the love confession scene, of your favourite romantic movie you’d watched a thousand times.

Just a scene you never got to live out in your young life. A scene Steve never gave you.

Steve turned to Robin as the couple shared their first kiss, the happy score coming on as the confession was over, it all goes well, and with the way Steve’s shoulders are shaking and his chest is heaving, Robin knows he needs her. She immediately opens her arms, pulling Steve in who sobs heartily into her shoulder, all her shirts used to having snot and tears and spit on them now. And she cries too, quieter than Steve, but still all the same, as she rocks him, holding him close through his heart break, through his loss, through his pain, as Steve cries loud into his best friend.

Steve mumbles everything he’s said a thousand times over. How he’s lost you. How he needs you. How you can’t be gone. That Steve wants you. That you’re dead. And that word hits hard. That word took him a while to say, after the second day of screaming it.

And when Steve pulls back, and Robin holds him still, Steve looks deep into his best friends eyes, and he shakes as he tells her the one thing he still hasn’t said yet. “I loved them.”

And Robin rubs her hands up and down Steve’s arms, as she smiled so sadly, and wept so dearly. “I know.”

Steve hiccuped, and a small groan left him. Robin still smiling sadly, still stroking him. Steve looks down, but not a lot, and Robin can always tell Steve’s thoughts, even if it’s gotten harder now. Steve just wants to think.

“How did you?” He asks, sniffling, and swallowing.

Did you know too? Maybe if Robin knew... maybe you did too. Steve just wanted you to know. He should have given you that. But maybe if you knew... even if you didn’t feel the same way, maybe you knew somebody loved you, maybe you knew he saw you just like you did him, before you were stolen.

“Well first of all, you were very romantic, lover boy, always talking about them, always filling the world with your golden thoughts about them.”

Steve liked the way Robin spoke. He thought maybe she’d picked some stuff up from Eddie too. Even knowing his loving thoughts about you had been spoken into the world you’d been living in... even if it wasn’t the one your body was in now, it gave him just a flicker of hope. A bite less of guilt.

“And...” Robin faltered now. He hands falling to Steve’s wrists, and he looked up more inquisitive now.

“And they talked about their crush on you. It’d only been a couple of days before... into the whole upside down thing. Otherwise I’d have manoeuvred you two into each other as soon as I knew, even if I had to trick you and lock you dinguses in a room or something. But that’s all y/n talked about those days.

Steve sucked in air. People didn’t say your name much anymore. Probably scared of his reaction, but Steve missed it. He needed people to bring you up, to remember you, to say your name.

“All they talked about was how they’d been in love with you for years, but recently it was too much to bear, and they just had to tell you. I told them to go for it, that I thought you might realllly like them back! But, y/n wanted to wait to tell you after we saved the world.”

Robin looked up at Steve. He was still crying, and she was joining him again. Her hands squeezed his wrists, and Steve’s knees turned to face Robin those few centimetres more, leaning warmly against her own. “And I agreed. And I wanted to wait until you brought it up again. Until you said again, that you loved them, like you used to tell me every day.”

Robin had hoped it would be less painful that way. While Steve wished it had been you he’d been telling it to every day instead.

“And... was it the right thing to do?” Robin gasps for air with her sob, shaking under Steve now.

And his breaths were gasping, his best friends starting to mirror, as his head shook up and down. “Yeah... it was.”

Robin threw her arms around Steve again, and he moaned as he held her back, so so tightly. Gripping onto Robin’s shoulders like he’d never have to let go again, as Robin nearly scrambled on top of his legs. Both of them crying open mouthed into each others shoulders. Teeth and spit and tears latched on. Neither of the best friends caring about being any semblance of perfect, and not wrecked, not when they were with each other. And they held each other so tight, so hard, as if the grief in their hearts was a magnet, pushing them even closer, but Steve and Robin never wanted to let go of each other, to help the burden of that grief.

Steve and Robin missed you, so much.

[felicejules]

I'm not her.

Chapter 3

Link to Chapter 2

Featured Song (with slightly changed lyrics)

Half an hour later, I had decimated half of the training dummies in the clock tower hall. I had no idea why Crossed Wands had left them standing around there, but at that moment I honestly couldn’t care less. I had dropped my robe due to the sweat I was breaking and was currently rolling up my sleeves to get ready to pulverize the other half. Each of them seemed to bear Clover’s face.

All that work, and what did it get me?

“Reducto!” My magic, raw and amplified by my emotions, reduced a dummy to a pile of dust.

Why did I do it?

“Depulso!” I missed the next mannequin, hitting a suit of armour instead. It was blasted apart, a huge dent in its breastplate.

Scrapbooks full of me in the background… Give 'em love, and what does it get ya?

“DEPULSO!” My aim was true this time, my spell sending the contraption into the wall, where it toppled onto the pile of deformed metal.

What does it get you?

At some point I didn’t even need the incantations any longer, my rage was enough to funnel all that destructive magic through my willow wand. Its handle almost became too hot to touch, the tip glowing as my targets were burned, levitated, flipped upside down, frozen…

All your life, and what does it get you? Thanks a lot and out with the garbage! They take bows and you're batting zero…

“OY!!! Are you out of your bloody mind?!”

A high-pitched voice blared from the entrance, stopping me from blasting the very last of the dummies to pieces.

My wand still held up high, I turned towards the quickly advancing footsteps, and my shocked gaze landed on the face of a fellow third-year Gryffindor: Lucan Brattleby. He was stomping towards me, and he looked furious.

“I don’t know WHAT has your bloomers in a twist, and I don’t CARE! It took me AGES to acquire those dummies for Crossed Wands without Hecat noticing! You had no right to…”

Upon recognising my tear-streaked face, he blinked, his facial expression changing from angry to bewildered to completely flabbergasted within seconds at the sight of his meek, mousy, lanky Hufflepuff year mate, surrounded by a picture of utter destruction and chaos.

“Jules?!”

I was still too torn between my stupor, my heartache, my rage, and my anxiety to react.

“You did this?”

I tried to shake myself out of it, to say something, but I only managed a few stuttered syllables.

“I… Lucan… I’m sorry, I… I just…”

“Amazing!” He interrupted me, suddenly grinning from ear to ear, to my utter surprise. “I had no idea you had it in you!”

He came to stand by my side, his eyes almost comically large as he surveyed the damage I had wrought on the equipment of his precious club.

“What…? But… I…”

“It’s always the quiet ones, isn’t it, eh?” He said, playfully jabbed me with his elbow, making me flinch.

“That right there is a perfectly executed ‘Reducto’!” He gushed then, pointing at the tiny pile of dust I had reduced one of the massive, wooden constructs to.

“And how in Merlin’s name did you manage that?!” He ran over to another training dummy I had somehow managed to freeze high up against the wall in a solid block of ice after burning it to crisp mid-air.

“I don’t know!” I blurted out. The disgusting image of Sebastian snogging Clementine flashed before my eyes again, and I winced audibly. “I was… upset… I…”

Lucan snorted a laugh. “Upset she says…” He pondered for a moment before turning back to me with a mischievous grin.

“How about this: you and I clean this mess up and salvage what we can of my equipment. If we work together, we’ll be done before curfew, and I promise I won’t be mad about it. Scourgify.”

With a swish of his wand, dust, scorch marks, splinters, and puddles of melted ice vanished from the area I had wrought havoc upon, leaving only the remnants of the destroyed dummies. The one I had frozen against the wall fell to the floor, the impact reducing it to scorched splinters with an embarrassingly loud, reverberating noise.

It was enough to finally spur me into action, and I started to cast cleaning and repairing charms alongside my fellow Gryffindor third-year on whatever was left. In the end, Lucan and I managed to put six out of originally ten dummies back together again. As I was helping him store them safely in a barred area at the back of the clock tower hall, he said:

“You know, I've been thinking…”

Naturally, I expected the worst. “Uh oh…”

“Let me finish, you menace!”

I flinched again and pressed my lips together. Lucan only shook his head.

“Ye of little faith. So, I was thinking…” He paused, for a dramatical effect, no doubt. “… of inviting you to Crossed Wands.”

If my jaw hadn’t been attached to my head, it would have probably dropped to the floor.

“BUT…” He interrupted me before I could even so much as make a sound. “You need more training, first. Your spell work is great, but your aim is poor and the stance I walked in on definitely needs improvement as well. I can’t throw you into the ring like this, you’ll be decimated.”

“But… Lucan…”

“I'll help you. I trained with Hector, too, and if that dimwit can hold his own, it'll be a piece of cake for you, once I'm through with you. You've already got the aptitude.”

My heart was pounding in my chest. Was he serious?

“Lucan, Hector hates me. And the rest of the Club doesn't even know I exist…” I trail off, fighting off my tears once more, thinking of one member specifically, whose thoughts never so much as strayed my way.

“So?” Lucan's nonchalance couldn't have been more clear. “Crossed Wands is my Duelling Club. I founded it last year, I make the rules and what I say, goes.”

He gave the last dummy a hearty push, before locking the barred area up with a surprisingly strong 'Colloportus'.

“It's also invitation only, and the time and place for the next meet-up are always on a need-to-know-basis.” Lucan continued, his tone as cheery as if he was talking about the weather. “That means, if you show up with me vouching for you, you're one of us, end of story. I've seen what you can do. You're a wildcard, exactly what we need.”

My mind was running a mile a minute. Was this worth the risk? Lucan's offer did seem genuine, and hadn't I been aiming for this?

I had a dream, I dreamed it for you, Love.

Once more was I reminded for whom I had originally learned all of those spells for. It felt ridiculous now, wanting to impress Sebastian, painful even.

It wasn't for me, Love.

Would I even be able to hold my own in front of, let alone stomach, Sebastian presence after what I had involuntarily become a witness of earlier? I shuddered lightly at the thought of him showing up after all and bringing Clementine along. Ugh. I could still hear those sloppy noises they had made… and the laughter that had followed later.

“So… will Sebastian… be there, too?” I stammered, not quite sure how to express my discomfort.

Lucan made a grimace at that. “Not bloody likely. Hasn’t shown up in months, and I'm rather cross with him for that.”

I perked up at that. “How come?”

“Busy with classes, Quidditch and following Clover around like a lovesick puppy, I'd wager.”

My stomach lurched uncomfortably at that, and it must have shown in my face, because Lucan gave me a sympathetic smile.

“Yeah, I don’t like her, either. I've heard that she's constantly throwing herself into precarious situations that Sebastian keeps getting her out of. Pretty daft for a Ravenclaw, if you ask me.”

… and if it wasn't for me, then where does that leave all I could be?

I could help neither the snorted laugh that escaped me, nor the tears that started to stream down my cheeks. Lucan only watched on, still smiling at me, his mirthful eyes filled with understanding.

Well, someone tell me, when is it my turn? Don't I get a dream for myself? Starting now, it's gonna be my turn! Gangway, world, get off of my runway!

“You’ll show them.”

Starting now, I bat a thousand!

He said, placing a hand on my shoulder. “And I will help you.” 

This time, boys, I'm taking the bows, and…

“They won't know what hit'em.”

…

Many months later, upon getting back into Lucan's good graces and re-entering Crossed Wands, Sebastian indeed wouldn't have the foggiest about what had hit him. Disarmed and with his backside frozen to the floor, he would find himself being stared down at by a willowy, smirking Hufflepuff, whose eyes were bluer and brighter than Clementine's had ever been.

Link to chapter 4

[jjtheresidentbaby]

I love all of your other writing so much, so I was wondering if I could please request a cg Steve x little Bucky with the prompt “what do you mean?! of course i was going to defend you, nobody has the right to talk about you like that!”. Thank you in advance if you decide to write it!!!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ defend you ⋆ﾟ⊹ ➢ event masterlist

|| bucky barnes x steve rogers

warnings: mean reporter people, protective avengers, insecure/anxious bucky, crying, pet names

-

Bucky picks at the thread of his sleeve, shifting in his seat of the car Tony bought for him and Steve to share, the leather seats are comfortable and familiar, though it does little to ease his nerves. The party he just fled from was awful.

It had started with a few passing comments about Bucky still being the winter soldier, then it changed to him and Steve, then to him being a little. Everything seemed to go downhill after that, Natasha was quick at jumping up to defend Bucky, yelling in the reporters face as Tony stood behind her doing the same. Thor and Bruce were busy trying to de-escalate things as Tony was starting to threaten pulling out one of his old suits of armor that can “do some real damage”.

Steve hadn’t said much during it, holding Bucky’s hand and whispering that nothing the mean people were saying is true. Then he told Bucky to wait in the car, saying he could take Nat with him if he needed but Bucky opted for going alone.

He’s still waiting for Steve to come outside. It’s been ten maybe fifteen minutes, Bucky’s starting to feel dread twist in his gut, maybe Steve isn’t coming? Maybe he’s in there agreeing with the reporters?

The door opening and closing in one sweep pulls Bucky from his thoughts, his eyes snap to see Steve sliding into the seat next to Bucky’s own. He’s a bit out of breath, part of Bucky gets nervous that maybe Steve’s having an asthma attack like he did when they were younger, but Steve takes in a big breath that seems to fix the problem.

“Sorry that took so long baby, we can go home now.” Barnes nods, turning away from Steve so he can’t see the tears welling in his eyes. His heart aches with the thought of Steve being on the reporters side of things, his headspace is making it harder to hold in the emotions he’d usually shove deep down to only ever touch late at night when nobody could hear him cry.

“Bucky? What’s wrong?” Steve reaches to brush a lock of long hair behind Bucky’s ear, he can’t help but sniffle at the action. How can Steve be so tender after just bashing his headspace? His own caregiver, how could he?

“Wh- why didn’t you defend me?” His bottom lip wobbles when he turns to see Steve’s shocked face.

“W-what?” He sounds perplexed, eyebrows furrowed thickly.

“In- inside you weren’t gonna say anything, you asked me to leave, wh-why?” His chest hitches under the heavy breaths he takes in, more tears starting to slip down his cheeks that he wipes at hastily.

“What do you mean?! Of course I was going to defend you, nobody has the right to talk about you like that! I just didn’t want you in the room while I did it.” Steve’s tone falls soft by the end, he leans to hold Bucky’s cheeks in both hands, brushing away the stray tears on his skin and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“I didn’t mean to worry you, I’m sorry baby. I promise I will always defend you.” He takes Bucky into a tight huge quickly, rubbing his hands at Barnes’ back and peppering kisses into his hair.

“You’re my baby, and nobody gets to be mean to my baby. Understand?” He nods under Steve’s hold, nuzzling in closer as he feels the car starting to pull out of the towers driveway.