#sorry i went through emotional turmoil midwriting and it effected it or maybe it effected me idk lol

[ravenhairedgoldenretriever]

@snug-as-bugalugs-in-rugalugs you are so correct about the brothers and his sister but also his Jewishness! Like when he ran away to find himself he ran away to, well, a not Jewish community? like I would love to see him experience his culture. Even in the Jewish epsiode it's acknowledged that everyone "does it differently" ie he was worried about being bad at it but is told by having a Jewish mother, he is family!!! The emotions of having a culture he was born into but doesn't know, not really. But then again his brother were more familiar than his birth sister ever was, but also then again his sister left him and his brothers were both murdered. The emotional turmoil he could experience of having learned after a place he finally belongs after years of suffering, he went through his whole life losing to just learn of this.

Add on top that he's "new" to the faith but he would assume they have similar views of homosexuality that most of the world does. The idea of trying to find a place to belong only to go into that world all alone, truly alone, would be terrifying. His mother is dead but sang to him, his only real memory of her and he seemed surprised by the song itself, he was shocked to hear it like it was a memory that electrocuted him. He would normally be infodumping on how each culture has its own songs but maybe it's one that is translated or shared, etc etc and waxing poetic about how everyone us different but all humans are humans in the end, but no instead he hears the song and stops to listen to be sure. He stopped and just- listened. He went to the house at the end of the epsiode and he was so happy!! His smile was so small but bright! It's also very childlike almost, like how trauma victims will revert to an age they experienced trauma (I have personal experience, it doesn't happen to everyone or everytime and I'm projecting but it is a real thing) so it's understandable for Watts to be a little shy like a child because he would be feeling the trauma of his frankly stacks on stacks on stacks of trauma that is his childhood! Or maybe he's just shy! Would love to see how he would be with them long term.

Back to the part of it being the mothers last name. Did Clarissa choose to take the mothers name when they were left with the Marks'? Clarissa hates men even as a teen so of course she would never take a man's name, did she blame their father for their accident and it kick started her on her path, just a general resentment of being a girl in a man's world and wanted to take more "from the mother's side"? Or did their father willingly choose to take the mother's name? Was he progressive or was it just her name was easier to shorten to a more "acceptable name" i.e. Wattenbergs to Watts and that's what everyone knew them as prior to their deaths?

His parents are gone, we never see the woman who cares for him, the boarding house woman or something, so it's safe to assume she is gone in his adulthood conisdering she isn't there to mourn the loss of her second son and Watts was put working a full career at 16 while doing his best to care for them.

His sister left him, and his brothers were taken from him. And now he's to enter a community truly, utterly alone? Being acceptable warmly to a dinner/ceremony is one thing, but to be accepted into the community on the whole? Watts isn't great with communicating with others so he would know who to ask or how to just, roll up? Rent a place in the neighborhood? Go up to a stranger "hey, I'm Jewish btw. On my (dead) moms side. I'm not an orphan, I'm an adult who just has a dead family excluding my sister that willingly left me as both a child and an adult"??

This entire rant got me onto the fact he never got to be- or conisder or talk about considering and decide not to be- open with his sexuality with anyone important in his life outside of a few choice colleagues and a few men who seem to not want just/all of him? He never got to tell his family about his sexuailty, he never got to celebrate his new culture with his brothers!! He never got to try pretzels with them!! Did he pay for his brothers (the first) burial or was the mom still around? I know Watts did the second. Also what is Watts' like post life plans? His will and what have you. Does he plan to be bury next to them? Who does he trust to make sure this happens? I'm losing my mine.

Also I want him to meet Emily! Adopting Felix the boy from the orphanage!! Like???? Aaaa!!

rewatching Brother's Keeper and noticing that (like me) Watts hunches/bends over often but he normally had to when speaking to his brother(s). He's also way taller than his siblings, like me, and probably often does his best to seem smaller with most people. Unconnected to the brothers directly, but Watts gives off energy of hunching over to not take up space for multiple reasons.

Shoutout to Watts' comment about how some people "can't change the way they are" when talking of Nigel as a child hitting different post later episodes. Watts defends his brothers for being intelligent and insightful and wonderful even though with Down's Syndrome people of the time (and still today let's be real 😒), they would be dismissed as not being capable of committing crimes due to their disabilities. Watts would later go on to try and change his own "ways" dealing with his sexuality and question ways to change it.

Watts literally hates how society views himself and learns to accept it over time, but he never wavered in brothers. He loved them so much he knew they were better than what the world saw, but saw himself as the one who has "issues".

I'm overly exhausted so my words don't make sense, but in my head I have connections of Watts seeing the best in his brothers but the worst in the world due to the fact people could hate parts of himself he can't change (and he's tried!) but also the world sees the worst in the best people, people like his brothers, due to the fact they are different than the norm. He probably only became a constable to search for his sister but also to protect his family. His position probably deferred others not as aggressive as Nigel by giving him more "standing"; he wasn't just the "fake older brother, taken in out of pity" but a man of the law who cared deeply for his younger brothers and was as smart as a whip and just as dangerous when given the proper information.