#sorry i milked it for so long

[gigglesoup]

you'll miss the slice of heaven that i gave to you last night 𖹭

[lookingformoondrop]

ok but Can you image the total shit show it’d be if reader somehow rizzed up BOTH Andrew and Ashley?? 😨 literally preying. Like imagine reader is not necessarily popular, but they definetly are one of the most attractive people in the class if not the most

Andrew Graves x Reader x Ashley Graves

TW: Some nasty cat fights between the Graves siblings, everyone has a potty mouth, mentions of unaliving eachother, not proofread, reader just wanted a cookie.

♥︎Notes: This was actually so fun to write. I always love writing arguments between my two favorite assholes and watching it burn from there. Enjoy this messy headcannon and sorry it took so long<3.♥︎

Someone call the police, ain't no one coming out of this alive.

First, we gotta start with how you rizzed up the siblings. Starting with Andrew,

I can already see that to get through Andrew's heart, you gotta be funny.

Yes I know that this brooding son of a bitch is dressed in only dark colors, but he values some humor and I feel like the way through his heart is that.

You were in class chatting with a classmate near Andrew's desk when the classmate brought up your history teacher. Uptight, strict, and a prick, you said, "If he berates me anymore for my red pen, his head will go so far up his ass he'll find his own bullshit."

Unexpectedly, both of you heard a snort. Searching for the source, you saw Andrew covering his mouth with his hand, horrified by the sound he had just made.

You smiled at him and brushed off the snort to the classmate, "I think we're hearing things."

That truly made his heart flutter.

He had started sitting closer to you after that. Whenever he got ready in the mornings for school, an extra step in his routine was to hope that you were coming too.

"Hey Andrew," you walked by Andrew's desk.

"Y -Y/N! Hi..." Andrew mentally cussed himself our for the stutter.

It was dumb...really dumb.

But it made Andrew smile and feel giddy when he walked home.

I feel like Andrew would be very tame when it came to his feelings for the reader.

He'd blush when you're around and check in with you to make sure you're okay. He'd be too embarrassed to actually ask you out, but he would definitely try to find excuses to hang around you.

Now, the only natural explanation for Ashley's involvement with you would be that she saw her brother with a dumbass grin one day and HAD to investigate.

So, how did you rizz up Ashley?

Well, it's simple, really,

She went to your house to get a clear look at you and saw you dancing through the window,

You were fun and disgustingly too kind.

("Idiot")

But somehow, that fun energy intrigued Ashley. You would smile at her randomly when she corssed the street. You had no idea who she was, and yet that smile irked Ashley (in a somehow pleasant way).

"Hey guys!" She cheerfully entered the classroom doorway, a spring in her step.

Andrew turned to look at the voice and immediately felt a muscle in his forehead twitch. "Great," he thought, "another one of Ashley's ploys so that she can harass any woman out of my life."

You, of course, were baffled at seeing this girl suddenly love up on you, but judging by Andrew's murderous smile towards her, you figured they were related somehow.

But instead of Ashley being an ass towards the reader, she began to cling to their arm.

This began a looooong sequence of events where it would go one of the following ways,

You'd go to a spot around town, invite one of the Graves siblings, and no matter how secluded, isolated, unknown, or illegal said spot was, the other Graves sibling would find and join you.

This definitely opens the possibility of more intense sibling fights.

I say intense, but it's more like,

"SAY HER NAME ONE MORE TIME ASHLEY AND I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!"

"DO IT ANDY, DO IT, I DARE YOU. WHAT WOULD MY Y/N THINK ABOUT A MURDERER, YOU FUCKFACE!"

The fights would get so loud that the neighbors would call the police

By the time the police came to knock at the door, Ashley was pulling Andrew's hair and trying to put him in the washing machine, while Andrew was clawing at Ashley's face and trying to smack her head against said machine.

When Andrew (and for some reason) Ashley came to school, you were startled by how banged up both of them became. Still, when you asked about it, all they did was brush you off (and stomp on each other's toes when you weren't looking).

While they did loath each other for trying to steal Y/N from one another, they never doubted the protection they felt they owed to Y/N.

Some random classmate decided to hit on you and make you verryyyy uncomfy. When you recounted the tale to Andrew, he refused to leave you alone for weeks, constantly fantasizing about bashing the guys face in.

ASHLEY ON THE OTHER HAND would absolutely demolish any shithead who tried hitting on you. "They needed to be punished!" Is the last thing she said, and the last time you ever saw that classmate.

Was it risky? Yes. Did Andrew scold her for it? Yes. Did either one of them regret it? Hell no.

Overall, the entire relationship is a complete shit show. And even if you begged them to play nice, they'd still fight over you.

"Ashley, can you help me? I can't reach that cookie jar."

Ashley sprung up from her seat. "Sure thing, N/M~" But just as Ashley was going to reach for the jar, Andrew pushed her into a pile of trash bags in the kitchen and proceeded to grab the jar for you.

"Here you go, Y/N," Andrew smiled at you while you panicked on who to check in with first.

Suddenly, from the pile of trashbags came, "Andrew, you ass!"

Fight or flight kicked in, and you immediately bolted out of their kitchen. Having remembered plenty of their fights, you decided that for today, you were perfect content with just going home. That was enough Graves for today...

"ASS-KISSER!"

"BROWN-NOSER!"

Yeah, that was plenty of Graves for today.

Thank you for the ask!<3

[kinokoshoujoart]

scribbles based on my Another Wonderful Life file where i discovered Rock and Nami showing up together at Vesta’s farmhouse late at night on multiple occasions to cause various types of chaos and disturbance and havoc until Marlin and Vesta’s bedtime (which they both announce in unison to kick everyone out) this included

Rock levitating and attempting to rizz up vesta

Nami making a beeline for Celia’s room where she stands around making very subtle remarks (celia isn’t even in her room)

Marlin Enduring

haunting crime scene photos of the shenanigans:

[burnt-cookii]

Anon that requested a shadow milk drawing: I didn't release you already drew him OOPS- In that case, if you want to, could you draw your favorite cookie when you first starting playing CRK?

decided to draw them both insteaadd :'> its alright to ask for the same character

[prettyboysmlm]

need this like rn

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

now that I've had some time to think about Book Three's cover/description, here are some bullet-point thoughts

The art style has vastly improved from Book One. It feels like Tillie's finally comfortable with style, and the characters here don't have same face syndrome here. Also the color palette here is my favorite of the three covers. From everything that I've read from Tillie, the way she works with color is a strong point of her work... which again, makes me wish the entire comic was in color but nooooo...

It looks like Ricca has her own cane now, which makes sense given a bit point of her character through the series is her worsening vision like... even with her glasses, she's practically blind.

Clementine has a new hat. Y'know... because her iconic hat got left with AJ... y'all still remember AJ, right? The comics don't.

Dr. Barnwell the cat made it onto the cover.... you know I'm in too deep with these damn comics when I see some random person be like "Clementine's getting a new cat" and I say, out loud, "That's Dr. Barnwell, you dingus, he's been around since the end of Book One." AS IF ANYONE ELSE CARES!

I know too much about this series, y'all

In my defense, I'm a little snappy about stuff like that after Book Two came out and people were just making shit up about what happens, going as far as to fake screenshots, and tell people it's "just like fifty shades of grey" when uh NO? it's not? People were deliberately trying to deceive others over certain elements and it still makes me mad whenever I think about it.... ANYWAY

We also see Fen and Olivia featured here, too. Fen's one of the more interesting side characters we've gotten, and I'm glad she survived Book Two, and Olivia.... I notice the way she's drawn with the front of her body hidden. I know that's probably to not show spoilers for Book Two since that reveal's a big deal, but still.

"Clementine finally has it all–a safe place to live, a girlfriend, and even a cat…but nothing lasts forever. And when Clementine suffers a loss unlike anything she’s ever faced, a new mentor called The Gardener offers her a new family, and a new way of living… but at what cost?" This is the description we were given.

First of all, Clementine had it all at Ericson, and it didn't make her happy. In fact, it made her so miserable that she left... I kinda hope this book does something with that by giving her everything she wants [as in, the safe home, a romantic partner, friends, a cat, etc] and she's STILL unhappy...? And it ends with her leaving again? But something tells me it won't.

Clementine's going to suffer a loss "unlike anything she's ever faced"? Ehhhh, press X to doubt. I played the games, I lived through all of her losses. I don't think anything will ever top seeing her parents as walkers and then losing Lee right after.

I mentioned before that the obvious direction here would be for Olivia to lose her baby, or for Olivia to die after giving birth, but uh... Clementine's been through both of those things with Christa and Rebecca... but we have to keep in mind that we're so far removed from the games at this point that it's never going to bring those up, y'know?

Real talk though? I'm very intrigued by the idea of a new mentor character called The Gardener who is apparently offering her a new family and a new way of life... but at a cost. What cost? What new way of life? What new family? Are we joining a cult now?

Listen, we missed out on the opportunity for a cannibalism plot in Book One, and Miss Morro left a lot to be desired in Book Two, so like... go extra dark this time. C'mon, Tillie, do it.

Also, Amos is definitely coming back as a twist villain, I feel it in my bones. We didn't see a body at the end of Book One okay!

I'm mostly joking but also NOT JOKING AT ALL!

My offer still stands, if Amos comes back, the book is an automatic 5/5 stars, no questions asked.

Anyway, I'll keep y'all updated on this, and when it releases next year, I'll write my in-depth review... "I read it so you don't have to" and all that.

Just as a final reminder, and allow me to make it extra big so that everyone can see it:

Leave Tillie Walden alone. I don't care if you hate the comics or think they're an insult to the game or whatever else. You want to express that, then do it on your blog. Don't send it to Tillie. We have enough pricks harassing her as is, and you're the bigger asshole here if you think it's okay to send her shit like that, so don't.

Seriously, it's the last book and then Tillie's done with the series, and I doubt they're gonna sign her on to make more. The games still exist, you can still go play them, these comics aren't taking that away from you... and if you feel like they are, then don't engage with them, period. It's not hard.

I cover the comics in-depth for people who don't want to read them but are curious about what happens. They don't bother me in that "they ruined the games" way that they used to, so I can handle it. If you can't, then do yourself a favor and just don't. Just don't!

[books-and-dragons]

I'm so sorry, I'm kinda drunk and dropping another idea, do with it whatever ye will.

Yknow how in the beginning of the game, Sojiro tells Ren he won't take care of him when he gets sick?

Consider: he's not used to city germs/being that closely shoved against other people on the train. He DOES start to get sick around Kamoshida's Palace, powers through it, and then is SUPER sick just after it's over.

He plans on sucking it up and hiding it, but Futaba hears his hacking coughs over her bug even when he's upstairs, followed by wheezing, maybe even a little weeping. He's constantly in and out of the bathroom, and he's starting to run out of tissues.

Futaba nervously texts Sojiro that the kid they took in sounds awful. Sojiro is gruff at first and says he's not a baby, he can take care of himself. She responds by sending him the audio and suddenly Dad Instincts kick in

y/n

obviously it's a YES, our brainrots continue because early-game ren and sojiro dynamics break my heart every time how dare you get me so invested in this idea, this post got too long so it's going under a read more

listen listen look i love sojiro and the coffee family okay, but early-game?? sojiro could catch these hands

ren has already been though so much by the time he arrives in tokyo, to then be put into a dusty old attic like a spare part would absolutely fit in with ren's own perception of himself at that stage. it would be almost too easy for him to put his own health on the backburner kinda like he's already used to it

very used to not taking up space, 'not being a bother', and then sojiro really reinforces this message when ren first gets to leblanc- so when ren inevitably gets ill a month into his probation, it's already doomed for maladaption

tokyo would be such a breeding ground for sickness compared to the countryside, and ren just doesn't have the consitution to deal with it. the dusty attic and poor eating habits don't help matters, and then we have the stress of kamoshida and the metaverse?? ren is not having a Good Time™

at first it's something he thinks he can shrug off, and is adamant that ignoring it is the way to go. a cold, it's nothing, he can handle this alone, no need to bother anyone else with it.

inevitably, he gets worse, because that's what happens when you don't rest and let yourself recover. a tickly cough becomes a tightness in his chest, mild congestion shifts into an attack on his senses and blurriness- but maybe that's the dizziness. he's not really sleeping, either.

it's something that's becoming increasingly difficult to brush off and hide, he even relented to finally getting some medicine (nothing as strong as he needs by this point, that would eat too much into his limited funds, but some painkillers to take the edge off). once or twice he's tempted to stay off school, at morgana's insistence, or a too close call where he definitely blacked out for a minute, but then sojiro's voice will ring in his head 'i won't be the one looking after you if you get sick', 'your parents got rid of you for being a pain in the ass', and all his worst insecurities come rushing back and he's resolved to deal with it on his own

meanwhile, futaba's been making use of her hidden audio bugs- normally they're a comfort for her in the daytime, but since the new kid- ren- has been staying at the cafe (part-timer her ass, how gullible does sojiro think she is?!), she's been listening more frequently. when ren gets sick, she figures it out quickly.

time goes on, he's not getting better- he's actually getting worse- and futaba starts to wonder if she's the only one who knows

(there's something in his sharp contrasts- the quiet kid who shuffles through the cafe and takes sojiro's scolding, to the coughing kid who cries into the silence of night when he thinks there's nobody there to see it- that stabs through her numbness. it feels like a companion to her own ghost)

one night she swears the kid gets up to be sick, and there's hardly any sound heard from the attic all night. if nobody's gonna help ren, then she will (futaba used to like helping, once upon a time).

she texts sojiro the next day, when ren doesn't say anything again, and goes off to school with what she bets is a fake assurance on his face

and you're so right, sojiro dismisses her concern really easily, claims the kid can 'take care of himself' and he won't 'baby' the part-timer. insists ren needs to learn some disipline, then maybe he'll stay out of trouble

frustration wells in futaba- if she was less fixated on what was going on with ren, she'd register it's one of the first changes of mood she's had for months- and she responds with nothing but an audio clip, an attached explanation that this is just from the past few days- it's been going on for weeks, then she waits, and hears the distant sound of her compilation through one of the bugs, a hitched breath from sojiro, curse words under his breath-

for all his earlier postulating about not helping ren if he gets sick, sojiro is immeditely struck with a pang of concern- it sounded bad, and if futaba's words were anything to go by, this had been going on for a while. the kid's at school now (at school, being as ill as that and he was still going to class-), so sojiro will talk to him when he gets back. there's a chance he goes a bit too over the top, between the variation of medicines he purchases, supplies he grabbed from home- if you accused him for over-compensating after maybe being too harsh on the kid in the beginning, you'd be right

and you just know ren would be so resistent at first to help, or even just the offer of staying off school. in his sickness-induced fugue, ren's filter-less in rattling off how he can't stay off, what will the students and teachers think, and he has work that afternoon, and a test soon, and he doesn't want to get in the way-

sojiro's heart just shatters

this kid, whose been silently carring the weight of the world and has apparently been falling to pieces for weeks now and sojiro didn't even notice?

(a part of it reminds him too much of the other kid he's got at home, the countless ways he's already failed futaba, and now ren too? he feels useless)

sojiro focuses on what he can do, and that's making the kid rest. work will understand, school can wait, ren isn't an inconvenience, he guides the kid to bed, calls takemi immediately (who rushes over, despite the fact she's technically closed at this hour, and refuses to take any payment),

even still, there's this stilted awkwardness between them when the quiet pushes on too long- they hardly know each other, afterall. sojiro is still figuring out the 'caring for kids' thing, and ren isn't familiar with any kind of parental affection, so some of sojiro's care veers a bit too close to clinical or mechanic, and ren still struggles to communicate what kind of help he needs, but it's enough for now.

for now, sojiro is there. he's trying, and at least ren's getting some colour back on his skin. for now, ren's willing to take a few days off and have some medicine, but he's over-apologetic and definitely tries to make up for his sickness once he's healed. it's gonna take them both a while yet, but luckily there's always their guardian hacker, ready and able to call them out when needed (and maybe some day she'll be able to keep an eye on ren and sojiro in person)

[isa-ah]

making a fursona is fun but getting to retire an old traumatized time capsule of yourself and make a new, happy, grown version of yourself is so fuckin nice.

[grif-hawaiian-rolls]

Every now and then i remember Locus is, as of s15+, doing the sci-fi equivalent of living in his (probably stolen) car and i have to lie down from laughing

[tootditoot]

*approaches running, stumbling multiple times*

HE- HEY! I see you are one of Geuretea's moots! My name is Pork Milk! I'm Geuretea's sona and I have been entrusted to deliver the train tickets to Mootland to all of you. Mootland is a place where all your ocs can have some fun and relax! ;D (and OF COURSE is not just an excuse to draw my moots' ocs).

If you want, choose max. 2 of your ocs (or your sona) to enjoy the train trip.

BYE! :D

*gives you the tickets and runs away so fast he disappears*

"I say Guccant, when was the last time I took you to a field trip that didn't start with us being sunk on a row boat?"

*Sacabambaspis noises*

"Hmm... Galloping? I fail to see a herd of horses outside, must be the train chuffing..."

(This is a bonus sketch because I needed a reason to draw a locomotive hehe)

[bowlzone]

Today's cereal is South Korean Oreo O's!

Initial Impressions: Ever since I heard murmurings from the wider cereal community that the South Korean Oreo O's are the superior take on the concept, they have been at the top of my review list. This review is a chunky one, so the rest is under the cut!

Before we get into my thoughts on the box, let's take a detour back to the ancient history of the 90s to understand why these Oreo O's hit different. The original US run of Oreo O's happened between 1997 and 2007, when Kraft (who own the rights to Oreos) and Post (who own the rights to the cereal recipe) had an acrimonious break up. Both unwilling to give up their respective half of the Oreo O key, Oreo O's ceased production in the US. However, this was not the end, for another Oreo O was made. Kraft acquired a Korean food company, Dongsuh Foods, who had the rights to distribute Post products and so a perfect loophole was found. As of 2017 you can get Oreo O's in the USA again, but they are not the original recipe. It's my understanding that the closest you can still get to the 1990s Oreo O is the Korean version, which is still based on that classic recipe, or close to it. I have no nostalgia for Oreo Os as, despite living in the US during at least some of that time, my parents outlawed the consumption of sugary cereals with an iron fist. Now, as an adult in charge of my own sugar consumption, I have never been so excited to eat something. They start strong with a box that is truly a piece of art, featuring what can only be described as a milk elemental in cool shades. The interior, a shiny silver bag that comes with an immensely appreciated re-sealing sticker, is a lot hardier than the clear cereal bags I'm used to and tests my feeble upper body strength in opening it. The chocolaty aroma already promises a sublime cereal experience.

Post bowl thoughts: poring these into the bowl I immediately noticed that they are much more restrained with their marshmallow pieces (or marbits) than American cereals typically are, perhaps because they know the cereal pieces themselves can carry the bowl. The relatively tasteless marbits instead add a nice textural component to the bite, instead of being a main flavour. The cereal itself is truly the star of the show here, with a rich chocolate flavouring and a satisfying crunch that lasts the whole way through the bowl, resisting any kind of sog. It's interesting as the main grain used here is corn, but it avoids all of the disappointing hollow nothingness of other modern corn cereals. Combined with the milk they really are reminiscent of an Oreo, if slightly missing the texture of the the cream. The milk left in the bowl is fine, but its main contribution is to the texture of each spoon here, so I'm not left disappointed that the final slurp is missing a certain allure. These have immediately unseated American Oreo O's from my top five cereals list. Without the slightly over the top sweetness that the US ones have, it feels like you could keep eating these for hours and never get sick of them. Despite the almost unreasonable excitement I held in my heart for this bowl, it did not disappoint. A fantastic cereal.

[forcebookcorner]

Book Kasidet, Milk Pansa and Keen Suvijak as Shone, Neth and Moo in Only Boo! Episode 4 (2024) [X]

[ravenalternative]

Mommy 🔥

SON??

[cortlandkaard]

I really love dark choco…

think about them, perhaps share some headcanons and tell us more about your au version of him

I will be sleeping now so I will read this in the morning

it's about goddamn time i posted this, so

buckle up, you're in for a LONG read.

tl;dr: awkwardness and social anxiety, prince becomes hated child, suicidal heteros and they fix each other, found family and literal family, bad4 jumpscare. i think that's a pretty good summary

when he was young, he was really skittish. he was also MAJORLY clingy towards dark cacao and the (at the time) first watcher of the citadel. until he was around 6, he was attached to his father's cape at almost all times. he hardly spent nights alone due to night terrors. it was unexpected, and dark cacao took it fairly well despite his fear of becoming too soft. inexplicably, though, at around the time choco was due to start his cacaoian warrior training, he just... stopped spending time with his father. not that cacao was showing much affection before, but it completely fizzled out here -- and with it, any chance at a real relationship. there came a time where choco didn't even see cacao as his own father anymore, just another person in the citadel who he had to listen to. he'd end up taking on more chores just to get out of the suffocating citadel.

as a teenager (he was around 17) a girl (spoiler alert, it's ristretto) and a friend were wandering around the kingdom and spotted choco running errands from a distance. said friend had a MAJOR crush on choco but ristretto didn't get it at all. so she was teasing her saying "what if he doesn't wash his feet?" and they were giggling about it freely since he was so far away. ristretto kept going though and said "what if.. he has sour coffee breath???" (this is a very bad thing, mostly prevalent in the cacao kingdom) and the friend fell over in embarrassment. this caught the attention of choco who came over to investigate the issue, but when ristretto noticed he'd approached, she just started asking him a bunch of questions about himself to prove to the friend that he's not all that great.... and it worked, because choco is probably the third most awkward person in the kingdom. he could barely get any words out and ristretto continued to laugh. eventually they do part ways, but the friend did put in the effort to tell choco that ristretto usually isn't so mean...

at the age of 22, he was assigned to train a young cookie with a bright, promising future. caramel arrow was small, sure, but incredibly nimble. and she had passion. though he enjoyed watching her learn and grow, they never really got that close. it was nothing but a student-teacher bond. and, if he was being honest with himself, it broke him to see how much more successful she was compared to him. which hey, can you imagine being a 22 year old feeling inferior to your 7 year old protege? i would feel awful, too.

when it came to the strawberry jam sword, the details are hazy (as in, i don't care so much to think about it), but the basic gist is that he was so dissatisfied with his life (lack of relationships, lack of purpose, etc) that he was willing to do ANYTHING to get away from his predetermined fate. which, yes, it worked, but he didn't know just how badly this course of action would play out.

aside from being a pawn of the darkness, he was... not really a person. from his lack of socialization in his developmental years, he hardly had a personality aside from being stubborn, which made him one of the worst candidates for the job. a good portion of the time, the sjs would take care of this by taking over his mind and fueling his body, usually when he was needed for something. but when he was "off-duty"... he was so physically and mentally drained that he could hardly do a thing aside from basic survival skills. he once was sent on a mission with choco werehound brute, but they got along so well that pomegranate decided to separate them -- and aside from her, he didn't take to any of the cookies of darkness. he was pretty damn lonely. all of those negative factors (abuse from pome, apathy from enchantress, being clowned on by licorice, and pmush having no sense of personal space) really drove him to the edge by the time the canon events we all know and love occur. as in, most of story mode episodes 13 and 14. he is employed by DE to kill his dad, he thinks he really did, he's stricken with guilt and grief, he casts aside the sjs... and his fate is empty.

and he doesn't know what in god's name to do with that.

so, with no hope left, naught for redemption or forgiveness or a life at all, he just kind of. left the citadel. aimless. filled with immense guilt and sorrow and pity, he stood there silently in the snow, remembering everything from before and knowing nothing of the now; so stuck in his own mind (for the first time in about 20 years, it's all there and all his own) that he's frozen in place. quite literally. he would have died that day if not for a little lonely someone, who changed just about as much as him in the time since they met -- and similarly, in all the worst ways. a careful cookie; stealthy, agile as an owl; alert, aware as a vole. a cookie slowly stalking closer and closer, crunching in the snow impossibly loudly into the silent, dead evening. the snowbound prince was still as ever, quite sure this would be his demise. those footsteps became ever closer, ever wary... but contrary to his hopes, a gentle (albeit shaking) hand cleared the snow off of his face. there was a stifled gasp, then it frantically started brushing off his shoulders, his arms, his legs. he was almost frozen to death, but not quite yet. with plenty of heaves of effort this cookie towed him all the way back to her home.

ristretto. a new ristretto, that is -- not the snarky rude girl from all those years ago. one who was geared up to do whatever it took to save the poor stranger she just found standing out in the snow, half-dead. neither of them really had any clue what they were getting into with this, though they'd soon find out.

choco was extremely humble at this point, never asking for anything if he didn't direly need it. he didn't feel like he deserved any kind of mercy from someone who was so kind to him (though, if he knew who she used to be, he might've been more comfortable with her from the getgo). he didn't want to get attached to her, partially from a fear of hurting her, but also from the fact that he wasn't ready for any kind of relationship. he'd never even had friends before, so why now? why, after all the damage he'd caused? they were very distant for a long time, and ristretto was starting to worry that she would never get through to him. he was always sleeping in chairs or on the floor, he never spoke unless spoken to, and oftentimes he would insist on splitting up tasks instead of doing them together. it was almost more lonely to her than living alone was. choco seemed completely oblivious to how much she longed to lean back on him. there came a time, though, where he started to care for her. when she was out late, he was anxious for her safety; when she shared activities with him, he felt appreciated. instead of just doing chores for survival, they were starting to really... live together. asking each other questions, making jokes, sharing meals, and honestly, becoming real people again. they were friends, genuine friends. (one day choco asks ristretto if she's that one girl he met all those years ago who made fun of him. yes, she is.)

then..... ohh....... the yaouriiEEEEWWWWWW i mean. um. well if you saw in the tl;dr, yeah, a big yucky sappy romance. put two heteros in a house together for months after they've known nothing but anguish, let them help each other forgive themselves, and yknow what? it kind of makes sense.

ignore the narrative gap here, i didn't think too hard about it. anyways, baby kid. her name? bitter mocha. now, these new parents don't actually know how to raise a kid at all, they're just kind of going based off of vibes and choco's experience with caramel arrow (which is NOT the same thing, but at least he has something). it seems to be going pretty well, but they both have one big worry -- how are they going to socialize her? they can't just shelter her forever, we all know how that goes down. but at the same time, how do you get a girl around when her parents are a known traitor, presumed dead, and a known criminal, presumed to still be on the loose? that's a question they'll have to stew on for a while, though they still have time.

after a while of having a child of his own, choco decides that he wants to try and reconnect with his father. those paternal emotions are really starting to kick into full gear, and he's realizing just how horrifying it must have been to be in his father's position. ristretto agrees that it's a sweet idea, but he should be really careful, and have his guard up. so off he goes, making his way to the citadel. he is (intentionally) spotted by a watcher -- this just so happens to be the second watcher. as in, the one he's known since his childhood. they're both a bit shocked to see each other again, and of course, the watcher tries to apprehend choco at first, but they calm down to a conversation eventually. the watcher explains that dark cacao has been spending time in the vanilla kingdom, leaving the citadel in the hands of caramel arrow. needless to say, that was a lot of information to process. he just went back home after this, not knowing how to get to the vanilla kingdom or if it was even plausible. he was determined to try, however.

did you know that if you travel across an entire continent, whether using magic or not, it makes you very easy to track? well, it's true. dark enchantress caught wind of choco still being alive and being on his way to the vanilla kingdom, and dispatched red velvet and two cake hounds to see what was up. the hope was either to 1) prevent dark choco from allying with the ancients if he hadn't already, or 2) strike them down. it wasn't supposed to be the strongest fleet, she more saw this an opportunity to poke at the opposition and remind them that they still have aggressors to worry about. phew, we have the lore set up, now the action. choco gets into the vanilla castle (this is really easy as there are basically no guards whatsoever) and finds dark cacao and pure vanilla. mind you, he has a sword on him, for self-defense. but obviously the ancients are unaware that choco is "reformed", and so they see him as a threat, almost immediately going on the offensive to remove him from the castle. yay, now the family is fighting and they don't want to be. how functional. red velvet catches up to them, still battling but almost getting to the point where they can talk it out... and unleashes absolute chaos on all of them, disregarding anything either party has to say. statues are knocked down, columns are slashed and nearly collapse, and a cake hound is killed in the fray (i could write an entire separate post for this). when red velvet realizes his efforts are futile, he retreats, minimally injured. the same can't be said for choco, who lost his keen sense of battle and was pretty sloppy with defending himself from the onslaught of attacks he just faced. he can't make it home, he can hardly see out of his functioning eye -- he's at the point where all he can do is hope that he can explain his way to getting some medical aid. acceptance or forgiveness felt pretty out the window for him after how badly this encounter went. unless..? at the very least, he was shown an unexpected amount of mercy from his father. whether the old man was convinced into it by pure vanilla or it was from the goodness of his heart, choco never cared to ask; he was too busy being grateful for the help. he attempted to tell what was going on, but it didn't seem like his father wanted anything to do with him -- at least, not yet. pure vanilla, of course, listened for as long as choco needed as they worked on healing and cleaning up the mess they'd all made. their gentle composure and slow, careful movements were a pretty strong contrast to those of his father -- or anyone that he'd met, really, that had more authority than him. it almost made him rethink showing up in the first place, especially as cacao's hand roughly grasped his shoulder to guide him out of the castle, but at the same time he still felt that same remorse from before. he just had some bad luck, and needed to try harder some other time. for the time being, though, he had to go back home and let his wife know that he was okay.

after a few subsequent attempts (none of which went as sour as the first), it seemed like dark cacao was finally ready to welcome his son back in his life -- or, that's how his attitude came across. in reality, he'd been holding off on coming to terms with... everything that had happened in the years since choco was baked. the clingy toddler, the stuffy child, the avoidant teen, the distant adult, and then... everything he missed? was he ready to learn about those fifteen some-odd years between the first and second attempt on his life, and the couple of years afterwards? would he be able admit that fate was his fault, too? it's not like he had a choice. so, they spent some awkward time together (usually supervised by pure vanilla, of course) trying to reconcile. exactly how, they were unsure. and it sucked trying to figure that out. but they did -- by accident, naturally. for context, the vanilla kingdom is now known for having lovely weather, lovely people, and most importantly, lovely safety protocols. it's arguably one of the safest places on earthbread. and when you're traveling about every other week, leaving a kid at home... they're gonna miss you. what better idea than a family trip? sounds great! this would be the first time not only bitter mocha, but ristretto saw the world outside of the cacao kingdom. now, this wasn't exactly planned out, it was spontaneous. so imagine dark cacao's shock when he greets his son as usual, and a whole toddler comes running into the room after him. "oh, yeah, i forgot to mention. this is my kid. and also my wife. oops" HOW DO YOU FORGET THAT()$*#*&

he slowly built up trust with not only his father, but the citadel as a whole. he was encouraged to come back and reacclimate to that kind of life. he got to know all the new halls (built after the east side crumbled), the new workers, and the new queen -- wait, queen? well, technically she isn't really that. caramel arrow, promoted to first watcher, served as guardian pro tempore of the citadel whenever the actual king was out. the actual king, who hardly does anything now -- not only due to his physical absence, but the weakening of his body and mind, both showing signs of the long, stressful life he'd lead. caramel arrow would never stand to replace him, however, refuting his requests for her to become the de facto queen. not that he ever wanted the title in the first place, but dark cacao was becoming more and more eager to drop it. there was really only one other option at this point. it was a pleasant weekend that choco had brought his family to the vanilla kingdom on. he booked their favorite room in the crow’s nest inn, the weather was nothing short of lovely, and his father… seemed to be in a bright mood? in the jovial downtown streets, they come across each other, cacao almost coming off as if he’d been looking for his son on his own accord. that’d be a first. choco’s pulled aside, just for a brief moment, and it’s… it’s awkward again, as always when they’re together. so cacao decides to just get straight to the point. he asks, “how do you feel about being king?” and there’s a veeerry long pause. “to elaborate, caramel arrow won’t agree to be-” but choco interrupts by squealing really loudly (this is not a reaction that was expected from him). he then starts bombarding his elder with questions, like “are you sure i should do that?” “what if i do something stupid?” “wait are you saying i’m moving in??? you want me to move in to the citadel again?? for real???” yes, he’d need some guidance, it wasn’t going to be an immediate thing, but… the offer was up. and the clear answer was yes. so after their stay was up, cacao returned to their home kingdom with the family and started getting choco to work, teaching him all kinds of ins and outs… and eventually leading on to the point that caramel arrow would be his mentor from now on. how the tables turn.i will make a separate document, if i so feel, for the day where he’s actually crowned king. just know that in timeline terms, it’s still before golden cheese was even found and brought to fight in the war. so, approximately 4 years ago, and no less.

after befriending the remaining cookies of darkness again (it’s a long story, i can also make another doc about that), he was asked to join the one, the only -- bad4! and this... really shocked him. he was aware of the band's existence before he left, but didn't expect the others to actually... enjoy it? let alone continue the fad this long after the COD disbanding. they tell him how much they wanted to start it back up, to which he asks, why him? well, there was a simple reason: pmush has been MISSING for, like, weeks. (not that anyone was worried about them. they'll probably turn up again some random day years in the future not even realizing time had passed.) at first, he doesn't seem to fit in, looking more like a filler than an actual member -- clad in black pants and a torn t-shirt, he usually fiddled with a guitar in the back of the stage. slowly, though, he "upgraded" his stage presence to match the appearance of the others. he drafted a few dozen outfits (not many of which were good, he isn't exactly an artist) and eventually came up with a stage name: Jam Red. sadly, everyone already knows him as dark choco, so it doesn't really mean much. above all, though, he's just grateful to hang out with people. friends, even. and, you know, get back into music. (i literally never mentioned this before. but yes. he can play some string instruments. like guitar and ukulele. colleen ballinger apology video when?)

dark enchantress is defeated at some point in this timeline, but it's not really relevant to HIS lore, so i'll probably just talk about it some other time. :)

now, i don't mean to say here that choco and ristretto were getting bored of bitter mocha -- they love her to death and back. but, you know, the citadel sometimes feels too quiet when the only kid around is very well-behaved. mocha didn't exactly have many friends yet, either, despite starting school. they wondered if maybe she should have had a sibling to grow up with. and, you know, it's really never too late to introduce a sibling, right? they did both agree, however, that they did NOT want to raise another baby. it's far too draining. so they asked around. hey, anyone seen a kid wandering around unaccounted for that we can take in? anyone? there's got to be one out there. they eventually get to a small independent establishment that seems to be taking in kids who have nowhere else to go. not everyone there seems to be happy about this, though; as the woman at the front desk runs through who's in their building, she quickly glosses over one resident. "that's our problem child," she explains casually, "usually ends up back here within a week. i wouldn't waste your time." in response to this, as any normal people would, the royals take the warning as a challenge. the adults enter the (shockingly barren) room of this problem child, and are immediately met with a deep, unstifled groan from the lonely bed. with a smile, the receptionist chimes, "milk jelly, why don't you come over and say hi?" their response is to turn over and bury their face further into their pillow. the royals are given details about this unenthused teen, including their avoidant paranoid habits. despite them sounding more like a chore with every new word, choco and ristretto are pretty determined, for whatever reason, to keep this child. apparently, this poor child had a rocky past, and has no interest in forming relationships, especially not with adults. but these parents, in their fervor, decide they would change that.

did it work? well, you could ask milk jelly today, probably. they'd tell you how funny their dad is, how cool their mom is, and how they love their little sister to death. they might even bring up their cool extended family like dark cacao and strawberry crepe. you see them clinging to their family like a baby sloth in public, looking at them with big wet yellow eyes filled with adoration. hell, i could make another biography post about them. it would be GREAT.

...but for now, is it really the end of choco's lore? am i done??!

i mean, there's not much more to say except that he's been building his relationship with his dad, carrow and chip, and even extended parts of cacao’s big family. also that one thing with the crepenstein musical?? (<- i do want to make a doc on that as well). but you'd probably know all of this anyways if you've been looking at my art.

anyhow, at the time i'm publishing this, it's present day. that is, the 13th of july, 1045. i've got nothing more to add right now, even after months of letting this rot in my drafts, so i hope you're all satisfied with this fairly comprehensive biography of golden flower studios's dark choco cookie (and other tangentially related lore)!

and of course, here's a reminder that devsis sucks and i hate them! that's part of why i stole their character. :)

[betweenblackberrybranches]

Making spinach noodle egg casserole but i am dumb and should have put the spinach ontop so the noodles dont get burned :(

Will probably still be tasty tho but lets see