#sorry i like his stupid little hat but BALD. BALD FEVER

[zincbart]

He hasn't had any complaints!

[tatooedlaura-blog]

Cheezy Pouffs

the series read as follows:

Superman … Monday

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Contain words and thoughts deemed innappropriate for those under the age of appropirate inappropriateness ...

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She was all set and dressed for another day of work when the call came in. Overnight, they’d picked up the suspect, meaning no more bodies, no more scalpels, no more Dana in scrubs and masks. Happily, she went back to sleep for another hour before heading to the station to wrap up her end of the paperwork. While waiting on a final signature of somebody she couldn’t remember the name of, she used the power of her government agency and got herself on a flight leaving at four that afternoon, which put her back Washington at the ripe old time of 1am. Deciding to withhold that information from Mulder for surprise sake, she waited impatiently to leave, to board, to fly, to drive until she reached his apartment.

Fleetingly, she wondered when she’d get to sleep in her own bed, in her own corner of the universe but then, grabbing her carryon, she found herself grinning at the prospect of sleeping in his. She moved in silence, taking her shoes off once she got off the elevator, not wanting her heels to click him awake, preferring to surprise him in other, more entertaining ways.

She never should have worried about waking him up with the sounds of her hallway walk, given even before she slid her key in the lock, she heard noise. Figuring it had to be the TV while he dozed on the couch, she opened the door, put her luggage in first, then pushing it the rest of the way, stopped dead when she saw Frohike, Langly, Byers and Mulder all turn in unison towards her, holding handfuls of playing cards, empty Cheeto bags and beer bottles littering any and all flat surfaces.

Mulder was the first to stand, immediately tipping sideways and grabbing Frohike’s balding head to keep his balance, his cast having slipped on a forgotten pretzel bag, “Scully?!”

Standing there, she had absolutely no idea where to go or what to do, given she had her luggage at her feet, her blouse three buttons to the wind, her shoes in one hand, her keys still dangling from the other. Her mouth, she felt, had opened in surprise but she couldn’t seem to shut it, instead gaping like a fish, not able to come up with a single word to explain her ‘I’m home and here to spend the night’ stature.

The Gunmen, once they stopped throwing each other triumphant looks out of the corners of their eyes, began to stand, poised to clean up the game and run like hell from the house, to dance in the hallway in ecstatic jubilation that at least one of them might be getting some kind of sex in the future. She stopped them, however, holding up a hand, “wait. Keep you game. I’m going to head back home. I just came by to … to check on Mulder’s leg. Make sure he hadn’t done anything stupid while he was away.”

Mulder’s face broke into a grin, eyes never leaving hers even though hers tried to escape his gaze, “actually, boys, get out. I’ll clean up and cash you out later.”

Langly, because he was Langly, “how are you going to remember who’s who?”

“I’ll write it down, now get out.”

“But I started with …”

Mulder gave Frohike a look, who in turn shoved Langly out of his chair, “come on, Goldilocks, mom and dad want some alone time and they don’t give a rip about your money at the moment.”

Wanting to both smack and kiss the man, Mulder simply stood, waiting while coats were pulled on and boots were tied. Each of the three Gunmen respectfully tipped hats or nodded as they filed by Scully, careful to keep their amusement to a minimum lest she kill them with two fingers and a high heel. Once the door closed behind her and she locked it with a twist and a tug of the handle, she turned back towards him, sheepish look abounding, “I really should go. I didn’t mean to interrupt your game.”

With shoulders raised and arms out in a conciliatory gesture, “what game?” Giving a nod towards the footwear still dangling from her fingers, “would you please put those down and come here so I can kiss you?”

Clattering shoes signaled her obedience and, after weaving through the sea of bottles, she made it to him, “sorry for crashing the party.”

“Sorry I didn’t know you were coming. I’d have at least showered and not had Larry, Daryl and Daryl here for embarrassment factors.”

The next thing he heard was her chuckle before her lips tentatively brushed his, hesitant and upturned, a full-on grin moments away, tongue then wetting both mouths before she came in again, hesitancy gone as her body pressed against him.

Standing there, in the well-lit room, the smell of Fritos hanging in the air, the fish tank burbling in the background, she moved her hand to his hair and just starting to glide her fingers through it, she ran into a stray chunk of something dusty and crunchy, something resembling a Cheezy Pouff and removing it, indeed found a Cheezy Pouff. Pulling away from his mouth, she was highly amused he followed her nearly two inches before he woke up from his stupor, realizing she wanted to speak. Giving her a slow smile, eyes half-shut, lips warm and wet, “where’re you going?”

Stepping half a foot back, she held out the food formerly trapped in his hair, “did you have a food fight?”

Mulder immediately ran his hands over his head, “shit, I thought I got all those. Yeah, well, Byers threw what he thought was an empty bag at my head but there were some crumbs left. Apparently, I missed some in the cleanup process.”

She couldn’t get past Byers doing something so … un-Byerly, “was he drunk or drugged at the time?”

“No. Just pissed that I had the Jack he was looking for. Cards turn him into a completely different person, a mere mortal if you want to get down to name calling.”

With a smile, she pointed down the hall, “shower, Mulder. I don’t need to be finding snacks in the mattress.”

Eyebrow cocked, “so, staying the night?”

“Just go shower.”

He clunk-stepped his way quickly towards the bathroom while Scully debated for roughly 4 seconds about cleaning up, then said a mental ‘fuck it’ and moved to the bedroom, under the covers in record time, enjoying immensely a mattress that didn’t reek of hotel/motel/don’t ask, don’t tell.

&&&&&&&&&

Nearly 2:30am by the time he turned off the last light in the living room, he did his best to walk quietly to bed, figuring she had to be dead asleep by now. Shuffling in behind her, the first thing he registered was skin.

Not the type of skin that appears because the tanktop shifted slightly off her shoulder or the pajama pants scooted down her hip a little but honest-to-God vast expanse of smooth-as-silk skin running from peaked shoulder blade through deep dip in the back to upswell of ass. One-quarter of a heartbeat, half a breath, a twitch of a muscle later and his mouth was by her ear, “you are beautiful in the dark.”

A hitch in her ‘thank you’, muffled by baited breath, pulled him to her mouth, supple, open to him, waiting for years of memories, years of stares and gazes and endless, utter flirtatious nonsense to finally find its end game. He moved away however, after one frustrating little graze of his tongue against her and she nearly pounded the mattress in frustration at his departure, until she stupidly realized he was only moving to get his clothes off.

Her embarrassment would have normally turned her red, flustered her, made her apologize but before any thoughts could form beyond, ‘come back … comeback … comebackcomebackcomeback’ he was indeed back, the weight of him on her, his boot knocking her ankle, his bony knee sinking in the bed beside her thigh. It was a welcome and dreamed of heaviness and it sent her clit thrumming, muscles tightening at the thought of the next two minutes to 75 years of pure, mind-addling sex with him.

Problem was, he focused first on her mouth, which was wonderful, his hands moving over her gently, reverently … then he drifted down to her neck, which escalated things quite a bit … then to her collarbone, shoulder, crook of elbow and delicateness of wrist, fingertips and palm, ribcage and finally upward curve of breast … hot breathe on cool skin, moist lips on fevered flesh …

She’d had enough.

“Mulder, you know,” his mouth suckling, “how much I love,” hand holding breast, “you and appreciate you taking things,” lips moving slowly over breastbone, “slowly but I’m going to be,” thigh running lightly against thigh, “crude for a moment, if that’s all right?”

Nodding into the dip in her neck, which she’d arched back, giving full access to throat and hollow, “I like crude at times.”

She took his face in both hands, pulling him up and away so she could look at his face, “I need you to fuck me … right now. I vote for all the foreplay in the world, hours upon hours of touching, kissing, licking, sucking, the whole nine yards … later … but right now, I need you to fuck me like there’s no tomorrow, any position, anywhere, I don’t care … I just need you to fuck me.”

He had never laughed so hard in his life, in bed or otherwise and collapsing on her, body shaking as he gasped for breath, “holy shit … when you said crude, I just … I had no idea …” He then felt her chuckle, her inhale erratic and her exhale filled with giggles, her arms sliding over his back, kneading the muscles she found, her hands finding his well-sculpted ass after a moment and pulling him flush to her.

It was, however, her whispered, “I wasn’t kidding,” that calmed him enough to kiss her, position himself and slide his way in, full length, quick, deep and hard.

Her answering gasp, still flirting with giggles, made him grin, “I never thought you were kidding … I just never expected you to order me around in bed.”

With each thrust, she lost more of the English language, sentence structure collapsing under the chuffing of breath, the thwapping of skin, the rhythmic creak of the bed, all of which became faster, more urgent as the seconds passed. She lost color next, room darkening, her vision tunneling under the building pressure between them. Mulder blurred, spun, she shut her eyes against the sheer ecstasy of him inside her, around her, surrounding her.

His hand suddenly between them, thumb on clit, balls swinging a rhythmic beat against her, she came, eyes sparking behind closed lids and breath held, clenched fists pulling sheets off the corner of the mattress, cloth tangling as her head twisted, a low moan escaping into the pillow, her muscles pulling him along with her, milking every last drop until his head fell against her breast, pillowing him as he grasped for a lungful of air.

&&&&&&&

Eventually, her world re-focused, eyes open, sense of Mulder’s weight comfortably atop her. Looking over his shoulder, she smiled, then nudged his forehead with her chin, “hey, you awake?”

An acknowledging, muffled ‘yeah’ reached her ears, then he lifted his head, “’sup?”

Her grin grew, “second, we will address the use of ‘sup in bed over breakfast tomorrow but first, have you noticed your leg at all?”

Eyebrows scrunching in the illusion of deep thought, he responded in beautiful Mulder-fashion, “yes, because who gives a flying crap that the love of my universe is naked beneath me when I have a leg and holy mother of pearl, it’s attached! … no, I have not noticed my leg.”

Now she laughed, a low reverberating chuckle that carried its way through Mulder’s chest, “smart-ass. No, I mean, did you realize that I’m pretty sure we just had some fairly, well, astronomically good sex, to continue your space theme, and during it, you had your casted leg sticking up in the air the entire time?”

Looking over his shoulder as well, he nodded his surprise, “huh. Must have kept it up so it didn’t rub on you. That would explain why my knee’s aching like it is.”

Immediately, she slid up and over, helping him lay down on his back, his relieved groan hitting her ears, “oh, I’m sorry. I should have been on top.”

Mulder grabbed her face, pulling her down to kiss him, “you say the nicest things in bed.”

As she swung her leg over his hips, “once again, not kidding.”

[cupcakeshakesnake]

Watching Extremis for the first time

(Spoilers below)

-Who’s narrating?

-If you serve as executioners to everything... then you execute flies and mosquitoes and stuff like that?

-”The destruction of a Time Lord--”  STOP RIGHT THERE, AND DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME THE DOCTOR’S GONNA BE EXECUTED.

-Holy shit the Daleks are actually an impressive race, they killed a ton of those Time Lords that are supposedly so hard to kill

MISSY??

-WTF

-”I didn’t expect you.”  Well then who’d you expect, some other Time Lord who miraculously survived the Time War?

-Ah, gotta love them Daleks with their gossipy mouths, spreading rumors everywhere.

Why is his suit so worn. I’m concerned.

-”They can’t know I’m blind, Missy. no one can know.”

-HA

-FUCKING FINALLY

-SO IT WAS MISSY ALL ALONG

-CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THOSE HUNDREDS, THOUSANDS, MAYBE EVEN HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF THEORISTS OUT THERE WHO GOT IT RIGHT

-”Please, I’ll do anything. Just let me live.”  I...

-*phone notification jingle*  wut

I DON’T LIKE THIS, I DON’T LIKE THE TITLE OF THAT EMAIL, OR THE COLOR OF THAT EMAIL, OR THE GALLIFREYAN LOADING BAR, OR THE GLITCHY GLITCH EFFECTS

Do all these people have fevers or is the weather just really hot??

-So I’m guessing he uses the shades to aid his vision now?

-Well, as long as he’s not completely in the black I’m fine

-”ve arrrre to com heerre dirrectly frrom the vaticaan”

-The pope???

-what is going on????!?!?!?

-”Pope Benedict. Lovely girl. What a night. I knew she was trouble, but she wove a spell with her castanets.“  wut

-”The Pope doesn't zoom round the world in the Popemobile, surprising people.“

-I am so confused and worried right now

I was kinda losing focus while reading the transcript of this episode and then BOOM, SUICIDE PICTURE FLASHES, WTF

-”Assume nothing. Assumption makes an ass out of you.”

-”I thought you'd moved out from here?  “Yeah, slightly didn't work out. Second attempt on the way.”

-”I don't like knowing their names. I only get attached.”

-”Of course not. I have very strict rules about men.“  “Probably not as strict as mine.”

-”Oh, I'm sorry. Here's me thinking that she dragged some poor, terrified man home.“  Poor lady doesn’t know what’s going on, but talk about getting out of a tight spot.

-My favorite scene in the episode so far omg

-Ah yes, Bill’s house pipes that always go VWOOOORP VWOOOOORP.

-”Well, whatever this is, and actually it's not anything yet, it is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.”

Gotta love how them popes come with a pre-installed church organ sound effect

-I only understood one word that sounded like “Doctor”.

“You’re all going to hell.”

-I love Bill omfg

-”Pope Benedict said that you were more in need of confession than any man breathing. But when the offer was made, you replied it would take too much time. On behalf of the Catholic Church, the offer stands. You seem like a man with regret on his mind.“

-Well, that went down in a bad way...

The very fancy scifi watch hidden under the very fancy fantasy-ish robes

The Doctor suspects Darth Sidious is up to something.

-Nope, nevermind, that was Nardole.

oh

OHHH

-”Warning: I have full permission to kick your arse.”

-”Because I don't like being worried about. Around me, people should be worried about themselves.“ "Yeah, shall I tell you the real reason?“ "No.“ "Because the moment you tell Bill, it becomes real. And then you might actually have to deal with it.”

-This episode is about as religious as Doctor Who gets, in my opinion.

...dafuq

-We all know who this looks like

-The library of Blasphemy, huh? That’s quite some Hogwarts stuff there.

-”Harry Potter!” THANK YOU BILL!

-"The layout is designed to confuse the uninitiated.” "Sort of like religion, really.” I can confirm this true, for reasons. "You happy in those shades? Not dark enough for you?” “In darkness, we are revealed. Bill: When did he get so emo?

-”Well, take a few more minutes if you like. Knock yourself out. Actually do. Do that. Knock yourself right out.” Pffft

That’s one great big hood you got there. But pray tell, how do you see what’s in front of you?

-well shit

-”Without hope. Without witness. Without reward.“ What?

-”You'd be wizard at writing Christmas crackers, you two.”

-I thought Christmas crackers were paper sausages with confetti inside them?

Alright, where’s the orange portal?

oHh my GOD

-FUCKING JUMPSCARES!

-”I think there's someone in there.” "Yeah, we are very slightly getting that.”

wHat TEH FUCk

-”Hey, there’s wifi down here!”  “Of course there's wifi. It's a library.“

-”Reading chair with a safety belt?”

-Apologies if I seem to be taking too many quotes directly from the episode(s), but I just love the Series 10 dialogue okay

-THAT GUY SHOT HIMSELF

-”Because you're sending us into the dark, after a man with a gun.“  Not as dangerous if said man is dead...

-WEll Nardole got a little weird there

-Bill: *voice cracks* “nARdOLE”

-Nardole: *sees hand* *voice goes up by two octaves* “HIEWIEW”

That’s a pretty gun, but it wouldn’t do much damage in battle.

-”It would be stupid to go and look.” *goes to look*

-DON’T BURN THE DOCTOR’S BRAIN DON’T YOU DARE MOFFAT

-NOW THAT MOFFAT IS ACTUALLY WRITING THE EPISODES, I AM GOING TO BE DOUBLE WARY OF EVERYTHING

WHAT?!?!!

-WHAT THE EVERLOVING RASSILON FLIPPING A TABLE ON A HARLEY DAVIDSON?!?!?!

THE PENTAGON??

the flipping kind of videogame portal hub is this

Meanwhile, in another part of the world, aliens freak out as a bald head pops outta nowhere from the wall of their living room.

-”Cardinal, it worked. I can see.”  Yes!

-”Not well enough, not yet.”  Okay...

-”The thing about the universe is, whatever you need, you can always borrow, as long as you pay it back. I just borrowed from my future. I get a few minutes of proper eyesight, but I lose something. Maybe all my future regenerations will be blind. Maybe I won't regenerate ever again. Maybe I'll drop dead in twenty minutes."  NO!

-”You know, I've read a lot of books that this chair would be quite useful for. Moby Dick. Honestly, shut up, and get to the whale.“  omfg

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CHILD OF GROOT AND A SILENT

-”This is not a game.”  “This is a game.”

-Why is that CERN scientist so excited, and more importantly, why does he seem drunk and why is everyone in the cafeteria so gloomy?

WELL THAT ANSWERS THE LAST QUESTION

Reading a legendary script on Microsoft Word.

-(On an unrelated note, I was saving these screenshots and naming them as each alphabet. The one right above happens to be Z.)

-(Could be some other text program but that’s what I think)

-So the screen was getting blurry not because the BBC didn’t want us to commit suicide but because the Doctor was going blind again

-GEEZ THOSE MONKS ARE CR-REEPY ASSES

-THEY’D DO WELL IN A HORROR GAME

Don’t you dare tell me the whole first half of Series 6 was set in a fake world or virtual reality or something like that

-Were those white things all portals to a virtual world

-At least Bill and Nardole got out safely.

-”Are you okay?”  “nOOO - Yes. NooO”

“Could be the Doctor.”

-Let’s hope not

-Let’s really, really hope not.

-”They’re projecting everything.”  CALLED IT

-AND THE PEOPLE IN THE HOLOGRAMS REALIZED THEY LIVE IN HOLOGRAMS?!?!

-But what if??

-What if our lives are really just holograms

-(I went on Omegle to get a stranger to think of a random number, but ended up answering questions about English)

-(This one person was asking “what does ‘single out’ mean”)

-”You know, like the holodeck on Star Trek, or a really posh VR without a headset. Through there, those places, that's basically Grand Theft Auto.”

-More and more references each episode, huh, BBC?

I uh... happened to pause here so...

-”Please don’t let me be right.”

-Oh shizzles

WHAT IN THE NAME OF A RANDOM DALEK

-NARDOLE IS NOT REAL??

-WHAT IF BILL ISN’T REAL??

-WHAT THE EFF??????!??!?!

Why did the blood change color?

-’Total communication blackout at the White House’? hat happened?

-Did all the people in the White House commit suicide and how did the Doctor come here?

-Ah, the portal yes...

-cold fraggling shizzles.....

-”The Veritas tells of an evil demon who wants to conquer the world. But to do it, he needs to learn about it first. So he creates a shadow world, a world for him to practise conquering, full of shadow people who think they're real.”

-OUR WORLD IS A SIMULATION GAME FOR HIGHER BEINGS, CONFIRMED

The screen ‘popped’ a bit here - it shook a little as if it zoomed slighly in then back out very quickly, accompanied by a tapping sound as if someone had knocked (into) it. Not sure if others saw this too or if it’s something with the site that I’m watching this on.

-Okay, I’m watching the Doctor explain this shit to Bill, and I’m having about as much of a crisis as Bill here

-And then the Super Mario mention though

-Please don’t tell me the past six episodes were holograms

-”A puppet Doctor for you to practice killing.”

-The Doctor Puppet account was worried about that line, yes

-Was that the email he got at the beginning of the episode??

wHOA chill please

At least the last six episodes weren’t all fake.

-Then when did the hologram-reality start?

-”It means I'm a scary, handsome genius from space and I'm telling you no, she's not out of your league.”

-”I have the feeling that we're going to be very busy. Call her tonight.“  Aww

-I hope Bill actually gets a girlfriend sometime this season

o i   g e t   o f f

-wHAT

*insert relatable quote about Monday mornings*

Some fast fingerwork there... NO I DID NOT INTEND TO SOUND LIKE THAT

-The guy is becoming uneasier by the second

-I don’t like the whirring sound??

-How are they gonna move her to the box in the middle of the water

It ends here?!

-Oh yeah right... They’re supposed to be a three-parter. Followed by another three-parter to finish off the season.

-Welp, looking forward to the next episode and possibly a lot more things to freak out over!