#sorry i know this has probs been giffed a million times

[johnnyspells]

RIVER CARTWRIGHT ● Slow Horses S02E05

[s-brant]

Cherry Bowl (3/8)

(gif: @kiekiecarrera) (PART TWO) (PART FOUR) (SERIES MASTERLIST)

Summary: When Kie cancels their plans together, Y/N asks JJ on a date to the Cherry Bowl Drive-In. Unsure of how to navigate his first ever date, JJ seeks out advice. Unfortunately, the night doesn’t go as planned, and both parties are left shaken by miscommunication.

Word Count: 10.6k

Warnings: Smut, public sex/exhibitionism, sexual choking, angst, depictions of mental illness, post-traumatic stress disorder, and implied/referenced abuse.

A/N: Welcome back to Tokens! Slight trouble in paradise is brewing for these two lovers, so buckle up and read because it’s gonna be a rollercoster for a little while after what happens in this chapter. I hope you all like it, and if you did, feedback is very appreciated. Have fun!

"I'm just saying that oatmeal raisin is superior to chocolate chip, why is that such an egregious crime, Kie?"

The lunch room is filled to the brim with students going to town on questionably cooked frozen foods, soggy tater tots, and sugary drinks from the vending machines despite the Obama-era posters on the walls advocating for healthier school lunches that never seemed to make their way to Kildare County High. The extent of their healthy lunches extended to a serving of overcooked canned green beans served with the worst slice of doughy pizza known to human kind, so it was sort of contradictory.

Y/N sits across the table from Pope and JJ, the latter of which being the one who launched into a full-fledged debate with Kiara about which type of cookie was better.

The clear cling wrap sits, unfolded, on the table with one of her stickers neatly placed on the back of it. As consolation for his epic loss yesterday at the beach, she paid an extra .75 cents to get him it when she arrived first to their shared lunch period—one of only two class periods they have together, the other being gym. He was still in line when she peeled a surfboard sticker off of her sheet and placed it at the center of the wrapped up cookie as if to remind him of her triumph over him in the waves.

"Thanks, hot stuff," he said, voice somewhat quieter despite the fact that hardly anyone was in the cafeteria with them. Then his smile dropped into an deadpan expression as soon as he saw her choice of sticker and looked back up at her. "You're never gonna let me live that one down, are you?"

"Never in a million years. I'll be gloating about it until I'm elderly."

"That's my girl."

The sound of the constant chatter surrounding them from at least two hundred other people drowns out the memories of yesterday that threaten to haunt her when she watches him debate with Kie. The mere recollection of their night in the back of the van has her reaching to pull the collar of her cropped tee up to assure that the hickeys remain hidden on instinct, and he catches the action out of the corner of his eye. It has him fighting a smile.

Kie quips, "Maybe on another planet, but, here, I think we can all agree chocolate chip is better, right Y/N?"

Y/N's eyes widen around a forkful of mushy "green beans" at the sound of her name being said bringing her from the depths of her memories.

Usually, she's quick to jump in and give her two cents on whatever stupid back and forth they're all having, but her mind was elsewhere. Unbeknownst to Kie and Pope, she was mentally reliving every second of getting fucked in the van last night, so her attention to detail when it comes to the Chocolate Chip vs Oatmeal Raisin case isn't all too sharp.

"Uhhh," she stops for a second, looking at the half eaten chocolate chip cookie in Kie's hand, "If I say chocolate chip is better, can I get a piece of it?"

Kie's face lights up at her words, and she's already pulling off a generous chunk of the baked good to hand off to her. The sound of a certain someone whose lap Y/N's legs are outstretched onto from beneath the table scoffing distracts her from the first bite.

"I know you prefer oatmeal raisin, you traitor," JJ says.

Their brunette friend's brows scrunch.

"Why is she a traitor?"

They try to keep from making any faces or giving anything away, but Y/N has to stifle the sound of her choking on her mouthful of cookie at the question. You'd think one of them came out and asked if they were dating or something with how she reacts, and she feels JJ squeeze her ankle in a non-verbal way of telling her to hold it together. It was her idea in the first place, yet he's a lot smoother with keeping it under the radar.

Under it all, the aspect of keeping it a secret does unnerve him to a degree. He doesn't think he'd be brave enough to communicate it, especially not when their relationship remains undefined, but the darker side of his mind wonders...

He shrugs, saying, "Cause we were friends first. Duh. Other than John B, I've known her the longest."

None of them stop to acknowledge the identical aches in their hearts at the mentioning of his name. They skip right over it like it never happened. After the funeral a few days ago, they've filled their quota on mushy-gushy sad talk for the next week and a half.

The real reason is something far more complicated than him having a claim staked on her loyalty through having the longest friendship. It's something tied up in days of slowly getting pulled into one another's worlds like the tug of gravity itself, in how he has to refrain from slipping his arm around her waist in the hallway or kissing her goodbye after a sleepover at the Chateau. But until she gives him the go-ahead, he won't let it slip to anyone.

Pope speaks up from beside him, "You literally met her twenty minutes before we did."

"Still counts. Technically, I did meet her first, so her betraying Team Oatmeal Raisin is enough to be tried for treason in Pogue Court."

"Pogue Court isn't a thing."

He crosses his arms after he pops the rest of the cookie into his mouth.

"It is now. You can be tried for treason for breaking the rules. Rule number one is that all Pogues have to admit oatmeal raisin is superior."

He's about to ball up the cling wrap to throw away later when the surfboard sticker catches his attention again. It's the same color as his board, which he'd like to think is a result of her being an evil mastermind that went out to get this sticker sheet for the sole purpose of teasing him, but he's the one who got her the sheet as a gift for her birthday, so he knows it was pure coincidence.

Last second, he peels the sticker away from the cling wrap and looks down to place it over the top of her yellow converse that were once a vibrant, paler color when Big John got them for her, but have since turned into an ugly mustard/dirt-dusted color they heckle her over.

"What are the other rules?" Y/N asks.

One of the hands holding onto where her feet are casually planted in his lap, something that they've done long enough that their friends won't see it as anything odd, slides down to caress the stretch of skin beneath the frayed hem of her dark jeans. Something she didn't know about him before whatever it is they have together started was that he constantly needs to be touching her. She can't say she doesn't love it though.

Pope answers, "The oatmeal raisin rule is not official"—a pointed glance at JJ—"But I'd assume the rest of the rules of Pogue Court would be no lying and no macking."

"So, basically you two break almost every rule except the oatmeal raisin one, and I lie," JJ says and turns to look at her, "How does it feel to be better than everyone, Y/N?"

"Pretty good, not gonna lie."

He keeps caressing little circles and tracing up and down her skin beneath the flared out pant leg of her jeans while he swipes his phone off of the table top without attracting the attention of their friends, who continue on to a new topic. She isn't too focused on what it is. She only picks up that it has something to do with a class they're in that's more advanced that hers, so she promptly checks out of the conversation.

Ever since John B died, she hasn't been performing too well in school. She tries, truly tries, but her mind outright refuses to absorb any of the information. When she reads her assigned reading, she hovers over the same paragraphs over and over until she shuts the book in a huff and hides it in her backpack again. Losing someone you love has a surprising amount of side effects.

Her phone buzzing in her hand brings her away from the impending cloud of doom that often accompanies any thoughts of John B, and when she taps in her passcode, her brother's birthday, a message bubble appears with a banner displaying JJ's contact name.

JJ (Derogatory) ur a good liar. prob could've fooled me if i weren't the one macking on u

Their eyes meet for a second across the table, then he watches her thumbs move to type a response.

Kief Princess Little do they know I break every rule now that I've switched sides on the cookie debate. Kinda impressive ngl.

JJ (Derogatory) triple threat, baby

JJ (Derogatory) thanks for the cookie btw

She smiles to herself, so wrapped up in their own world that she doesn't notice everyone in the room starting to pack up their stuff in anticipation of the bell that is due to ring any second now.

Kief Princess Had to repay you for last night somehow ;)

When she glances up to see his reaction, she watches his chest rise with a particularly large inhale, and he chews on the inside of his lip in thought.

JJ (Derogatory) strategically bringing up last night so i'm turned on in physics? ur an evil mastermind

Kief Princess I try.

Kief Princess Apparently whooping your sorry ass at surfing isn't the only thing I'm good at.

She hears him scoff.

JJ (Derogatory) first of all, ouch. second, u barely beat me

Kief Princess I'm happy to challenge you to a rematch. I have plans with Kie tonight, so I can't till this weekend. All it'll prove is that I am the rightful winner, but we knew that already.

JJ (Derogatory) what r the stakes this time

Kief Princess No sexual favors. If you beat me (fat chance) I'll formally rejoin team oatmeal raisin.

JJ (Derogatory) :( sex makes it more fun but i still accept those conditions

JJ (Derogatory) team oatmeal raisin needs u, even if ur a traitor

Kief Princess Why bet sexual favors if you're just gonna fuck me after anyway?

JJ (Derogatory) good point

The sound of the bell ringing echoes through the cafeteria, and they both pop their heads up from their phone screens to see everyone, including Pope and Kie, already packed up and raising from their seats to scurry off in the direction of their next classes. Meanwhile, their stuff is all bestrewn across the table, particularly JJ's belongings.

The sight of Kie walking away makes Y/N ask after her, "We're still on for tonight, right?

She stops with Pope's hand interwoven in hers. The look on her face when she turns would make you think she got caught doing something she wasn't meant to. Something like forgetting about the plans they made last week to watch Fear Street together. The Cherry Bowl Drive-In is premiering the first two movies as a double feature for the horror movie buffs of Kildare, so they decided to get tickets. Kiara shares a fondness of horror movies with her. Since gory movies make the boys squirm, though JJ pretends they don't, it's their own thing.

"Actually, Pope and I were gonna go to the beach. I'm sorry."

JJ knows she's more upset about it than she lets on, but Y/N simply gives the pair a smile that doesn't reach the eyes.

The sound of JJ behind her makes them laugh on their way out, diffusing the minor tension lingering in the air from the awkward encounter, "Use protection!"

After their friends offer them a goodbye, they gather their stuff quite leisurely, not really caring about being late.

It's something they've talked about before here or there: her feelings surrounding Kiara and Pope's sudden relationship. It's not as if she harbors any ill feelings for them, she doesn't, but the ripple effects of their pairing on the group, and more importantly the girls' own friendship, couldn't be clearer from her perspective. Between the missed hangouts, forgotten plans, and the convenient way she never seems to have time to hang out with her and JJ unless Pope is there too, it's been building up for a month now.

What makes it sting the most is how close her and Kie used to be. They didn't hit it off immediately the way she and JJ did as children until her thirteenth birthday when no one she invited showed up to the party Big John helped her set up in the yard of the Chateau.

She was the one who rallied the boys together to walk to ask their school friends from the year above to come hang out for an hour or two, promising a slice of the wonky-looking but delicious strawberry cake her and John B spent the morning crafting together. She can remember the sound of their high-pitched laughs and the cloud of flour that hung in the kitchen when they high-fived over the finished product like it was yesterday. In her heart, it was yesterday.

That night was when she fell in love with her friends, and that was when she first knew Kiara was her best friend. They wove friendship bracelets on each other that night and wore them for years until they withered away. No one had ever done something like that for her before. Not even JJ.

"You okay?"

Feeling his hand on her arm, slipping down to take her hand for a moment in the seclusion of the empty cafeteria, makes her glance up at him with a distinct sorrow washed over her features.

You know what? Screw this. Why should she be torn up over Kie and let it ruin her excitement for the double feature tonight? There's no way in hell she's letting her best friend ditching her for her boyfriend get in the way of her plans.

"Do you wanna go on a date tonight?" she asks him abruptly, then adds, "To the Cherry Bowl with me instead of Kie?"

The question sparks a pause in his mind, a halt of hesitation in which he worries about her avoiding having to answer what he asked, but he attempts to play it cool and not fuss over her outwardly. There have been times where being treated like that has made her feel suffocated, so he doesn't want to risk it. When she's ready, she'll talk about it, and if she takes too long and buries her feelings, then he'll intervene. For now, he tries to keep his face neutral despite the frown tempting his lips at her disappointment.

JJ looks around once more before throwing his arm around her shoulder to walk her out.

"You bet your ass I do."

What is a person supposed to act like on their first date that's not actually a date cause everything between them is the same, but kinda is a date because they called it one? If you ever find out, please find JJ and tell him because he has no clue.

Pope wasn't too much help in the Instagram group chat he made for it seeing as his and Kie's relationship is too fresh, John B isn't even alive, so he's out of service for advice unless there's Ouija Board he can borrow, and, thankfully, Kiara was his savior.

Their phones began blowing up as soon as he reached his class after lunch period ended. He couldn't under any circumstances let it be known that this mystery girl he had a date with was their friend, but thankfully Y/N already had the alibi of going to the Drive-In alone. All he had to do was make up a fake date scenario and get basic advice.

danknugstickiestickies added kiara-c and popeheyward to the groupchat

danknugstickiestickies named the group HELP ME

danknugstickiestickies i have a date with this chick i met on the beach when i was out with y/n last week. i need ur advice

His phone screen lit up with the notification that both of his friends were typing, signified with the three dot symbol bouncing in the bottom left corner as he thought it through. They couldn't possibly figure it out, right? They'd been careful, he'd been respectful of her wishes, and they'd been too busy together to notice anything new with them. He figured it would work. It was a risk, sure, but it was worth it to him. He didn't want to fuck this up with her.

Knowing her, she probably wouldn’t even treat it differently than any of their other hang outs. It's not like they haven't been romantic or sexual with each other. They've done everything but go out on an actual date, so why was he nervous?

kiara-c ummmm

popeheyward Yeah, I'm gonna need you to ELABORATE!!

kiara-c did hell freeze over? since when does jj maybank go out on dates??

danknugstickiestickies renamed the group hell froze over

kiara-c very funny, I'm laughing so hard 😐

popeheyward Do we know her?

danknugstickiestickies don't think u do. she moved here last week and hasn't enrolled in school yet. her name's steph

popeheyward What about Y/N though?

kiara-c ^^

JJ's chest muscles tightened with the question prompting a rush of anxiety that made his breathing feel slightly harder. He glanced up at his Physics teacher, who was essentially dozing off behind his desk with his hand in a bag of chips and an educational video on the projector as an excuse to not teach, and looked back down at his phone without the added stress of possibly getting his phone confiscated.

Pope's message might as well have been a sucker punch. Forget butterflies, he set a wasp’s nest loose inside of his stomach to tie it into knots and flip it every which way. His neglected textbook served as a prop for his phone to lean on as he set it down to think.

Did they know? As far as he was aware, they were getting away with it. No evidence, concrete or circumstantial, was there to prove it. At least the stress of the situation killed any chance of him being turned on by her reminder of last night in their messages. This shit was boner repellant of the highest degree.

He played stupid. Better to let them volunteer whatever information they had before he went in saying anything incriminating that they didn't already know. If anything would sour the experience of their first date, it would be him accidentally making their strange in-between relationship public behind her back.

danknugstickiestickies ?? what do u mean

Three dots bounced in the bottom left corner of his slightly cracked phone screen.

popeheyward ...

kiara-c I mean, you don't see it?

danknugstickiestickies see what

popeheyward I guess we were wrong, but all of us always thought you two had some feelings going on.

"You don't say?" JJ murmured sarcastically to himself under his breath. "Never crossed my mind, Pope."

danknugstickiestickies bro that's jb's little sister

kiara-c so?

danknugstickiestickies forbidden fruit? making john b roll over in his grave? do those ring a bell or am i speaking in tongues

He was already a proficient liar in real life, but, fuck, it was easy in text messages. There's no chance at deciphering facial expression or tone, just a plain message with no room to budge. Thank God he didn't do this in person with them. He could've survived, but it wouldn't have been as quick and painless as the group chat was.

kiara-c jeez, sorry

Pope didn't voice it, but he noticed something.

He looked up from his phone and stared off at the wall in thought in his AP European History class. It piqued his interest that JJ simply said she was off limits, forbidden fruit as he put it, but did not outright deny having feelings for her. In fact, he didn't even address the question. He made excuses for why he shouldn't have feelings for her, but he never said he didn't have feelings for her.

Kie did not notice. Not because she wasn't smart enough to either, but because she was too busy hiding her phone behind her backpack to think too deeply about it. Her teacher was one of those teachers that would flip shit if they saw a cell phone turned off and faced down on the desk, let alone being used by a student during a lesson.

In his classroom across the hallway, JJ bounced his leg up and down beneath his desk in an absentminded urge to release the built up energy the anxiety produced in an over abundance.

popeheyward Our bad then. Even John B thought y'all were sus lmao.

Since when was that a known fact? Could he tell? Did he talk to Pope about him and Y/N before he died? Either way, it wasn't the time to pry about it.

kiara-c yeah you guys honestly could've fooled me if you wanted to

danknugstickiestickies well thank u, glad ur invested in our friendship but

danknugstickiestickies please help, i have no fucking clue how to act on a date and this girl is too cool for me to screw this up

That was when they finally dropped the interrogation session and started offering up tips. The best ones came from Kie, which made sense to him since women are more likely to know what other women like than two dudes who share one collective brain cell and never had real relationships.

Rule One: Be ready to pick her up five minutes early.

He wasn't ready to pick her up five minutes early. His bike broke down by the time he made it halfway down his street, so he had to push it back up the road and into the yard before setting off on foot to reach the Chateau quickly enough. And by quickly enough, it means he got there five minutes late, not early.

Rule Two: Compliment her after you get in the car.

She tossed him the keys to the Twinkie from across the hood, not giving him the chance to open the door for her, and it wasn't until they were setting off down the road that he remembered the next piece of advice he was given.

Side-eyeing her in his peripheral vision, he tried to find something to compliment her on specifically rather than the general compliments about her being pretty that she never fully believes when he says them. He was intending to say something about the skirt she had on, but when he chanced a glance over at her, she caught him and asked—

"What is it?"

Sent into panic mode, JJ blurted out instead, "I like your shoes."

He could've bashed his face against the steering wheel twenty times right then and there at the utter absence of reaction on her part for the next few uncomfortable seconds. It wasn't that it was a bad compliment. She appreciates any compliments at all...but her shoes were hidden from his view. Not to mention, they were the dirty, mustard yellow converse that the Pogues bash on a daily basis.

She laughed, lifting her leg to expose the sneaker on her right foot, and asked, "These? Dude, you roast me for these all the time. You and John B said they look like Big Bird shit on them."

The skin on the apples of his cheeks scorched hot with embarrassment, and he was never so glad that the overhead lights in the van were burnt out until that moment. He would've died on the spot if she saw him blush like that, face flushed pinker than sunburn. All he could do to save himself was murmur something about the color growing on him and keep driving in the direction of the theater with his hands white-knuckling the steering wheel he fantasized about banging his face into.

Rule Three: Insist on picking up the check.

In this case, it meant insist on buying the popcorn and drinks, and he miraculously managed to drop his wallet somewhere along the way when he ran over to the Chateau, so when he stepped up to the makeshift concession stand with her standing at his side, he felt around for his wallet in his jeans to no avail.

His thoughts echoed back to him, You gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously? Is this actually happening right now?

"JJ, it's honestly fine," she said softly as he leaned over to search back of the Twinkie for the wallet. "We can look for it on your street right now if you want. It has your ID and stuff, you don't want a stranger to have that. We don't need to stay—"

It took all of his control to not shout it in reaction when he said, "No way. You've been waiting for this, and Kie ditched you, so I ain't ditching you too. We're staying."

His wallet could go kick rocks.

He came too far to be dragged down by the old leathery piece of shit anyway. Would he go out and search for it tirelessly the second the date ended? Hell yeah, that fucker had twenty dollars and his debit card in it, but he couldn't bear the thought of abandoning her or ruining her anticipated movie night by taking her out to search the streets with their phone flashlights for a wallet they might not find. He'd wait till the movies ended, take her home, then haul ass around the Cut searching for it after.

Thankfully, he found a couple bucks crumbled up in his front pocket while she scavenged for coins in the glove compartment, and they came up with enough to buy a water bottle and small popcorn to share together.

Rule Four: Don't have sex on the first date.

And it may sound easy enough to not act like a complete Neanderthal for the length of two movies, but the girl makes it pretty damn difficult if he's to say so himself.

That's what led him here, laying in the back of the sideways-parked Twinkie in the farthest corner of the outdoor theater with her practically on top of him. In any other instance, he wouldn't be opposed in the slightest, but with the cursed fourth rule in mind, he isn't too thrilled with the feeling of her hand rubbing up and down his thigh.

It isn't even meant to be sexual. They're constantly touching one another this way. She'll even slip her hands up under his shirt just to feel the warmth of his skin or when he asks her if she can get an itch on a part of his back he can't reach, but for some reason his brain is short circuiting right now.

The thing is, when Kie and Pope said he shouldn't do it on the first date, they meant it for his and Steph's made up circumstances, not his and Y/N's full-blown relationship without labels. When you've had sex with someone as many times as they have with each other, the hesitancy on the "first date" is nonexistent. It doesn't matter. But JJ, trying to follow the advice given to him to the letter for the sake of being the date she deserves, doesn't think about it that way.

It shouldn't be this nerve-wracking. They've been best friends since they were children, they've been flirting since they found out what basic attraction was in the first place, and they've been forming this relationship ever since John B died. Why can't he relax? Why is this so different compared to how easy it felt between them yesterday on the beach or today at lunch?

Rule Five: Be yourself.

It takes him another few moments of laying here with her before he realizes quite abruptly what went wrong in a quick flash of a thought that brings the fifth rule back to him. The problem wasn't the bike, or the weird compliment about her Big Bird sneakers, or the lost wallet.

The problem is him. The problem is that he's trying way too hard to make this something it isn't. The part about them that he adores so dearly is how they never have to try when they're together. With any other girl or guy, they'd have to fake something or act a certain way, yet when they're together, they can simply exist and everything is runs smoothly. That's not to say they don't disagree or bump heads, they do, but short of those outlier moments, it's easier than anything else they do in life.

His eyes flicker away from the screen for the first time since the movie began, which, by the way, is gruesome enough at times that he had to divert his eyes to prevent himself from seeing it happen. They land on where she lays, completely content with the night in spite of its mishaps, with her head propped up on the pillows they brought from the Chateau.

He wonders if she can tell he's acting differently. Surely she must notice. She's the type of person that typically never misses a thing, perfect for the gold hunt they went on in the summer with picking up the clues and helping her brother unravel the mystery, so maybe she noticed how flustered this date has him. Does it bother her? Does he bother her?

With a confirming glance back up at the movie to see nothing important happening, he can't fight the urge to speak anymore.

"Can I tell you something?"

His voice appearing through the darkness of the shut off van after spending the past half hour in complete silence makes her jolt at first before realizing who it was. Though she loves horror movies, she can't claim to not be affected by them. The night she falls asleep after watching one, she often finds herself compelled to turn a light on and keep her feet from dangling off the edge of the bed. It's worth the fear, though.

When she turns to look at JJ, there's a warm smile on her face. She's cuddled into his side with a hand placed casually atop his thigh, caressing with no purpose or intent, and her movement halts when the light from the movie on the projector allows her to see the expression on his face.

Anxiety has become an increasingly significant presence in his life with the recent events in mind; John B and Sarah, the four-hundred million dollars they lost out on, and dodging his father whenever he sneaks home to switch out the backpack of clothes and personal belongings he keeps at the Routledge house.

It manifests itself in jittery nerves, stomach pains, shortness of breath, and, at worst, panic attacks striking either at random or in response to a specific trigger. It's one of the few things he still tries to hide from her, and she tries not to push him too hard with opening up about it.

She abandons the movie for the time being and rolls onto her side to face him, upper body propped up on her elbow as she examines his face with downturned features.

"Of course," she says.

The words left unsaid are, "You can tell me anything. Whenever you need someone to listen, or to talk to about shit, you can tell me." He's heard her say it enough that he doesn't need to hear it now to know it's true.

There's a pause, then—

"I feel like I fucked this entire date up," he starts to ramble and cuts her off before she can think about saying what she wants to, "and I know it's okay to you. You have way too high of a tolerance for my bullshit, and I've been trying so hard to make this perfect, but all that did was screw it up."

She's left quiet for a second, taking it all in.

Maybe if he hadn't been so anxious about it, he would've realized what was wrong with his bike when he rode it home from school, or he would've noticed his wallet fall out of his pocket. The point is, he wishes he hadn't let the label attached to this freak him out so much. He isn't sure why it does, but it does.

But she doesn't do what he expects. She isn't drowning him in reassurances and, "It's okay's" because she knows he doesn't care for them much. When he, the most stubborn person she knows, apologizes for something he did, he doesn't want it to turn into the person accepting the apology coddling him.

Y/N sighs.

"Is that why you've been acting so different all night? I scared you with the whole ‘date’ thing, didn't I? It doesn't have to be a date if you don't want it to be."

What she doesn't know is that he wants it to be a date. He wants it to be a date so badly, he risked Pope and Kie finding them out for the sake of getting some proper advice on it, and now he's caught up in the same game of tug and war in his mind that always occurs when he wants to tell her the truth about his feelings for her.

Part of him doesn't understand why he doesn't outright say it. With every other girl he once showed interest in, he had no issues in letting them know he wanted them, but this is different. This isn't simply wanting someone, he thinks he's fallen for her. But whenever he says he's gonna grow a pair and tell her after all this time, he chokes. Involuntarily, he's reminded of his parents. Other than his friends saying it platonically, the only people to tell him they loved him were them, and with how they treated him, he sure as hell doesn't think that is love.

From his dad's brutal physical abuse to his mom's abandonment, he's too timid to tell her he loves her because of what could happen if she loves him back. Everyone else that has said that to him has either hurt him, died like John B did, or abandoned him.

He won't let that happen with him and Y/N. What they have, albeit undefined and codependent, is safe. It's the only thing he has left. Maybe it isn't right, and maybe he should open up about it to communicate the correct way, but somewhere in the misshapen logic of his mind, he correlates love to abandonment. And he doesn't want that to happen with her.

There are two sides of him at battle inside his mind. One side, the side that wants to do right by their relationship and actually communicate his feelings for once in his life, wants him to tell her everything. The other side, the side that responds based on the history of his past, wants him to hide it all.

"Will you be mad at me if we don't call it a date?" he asks.

She shakes her head.

The heavy sensation inside of JJ's chest nears a point of vitriolic violence against him as he starts to realize what he's doing to her, clearly letting her down, but he can't stop himself. Like a passive witness watching himself from outside of his body, the instantaneous trauma response to the sudden confrontation of his true feelings for her guides his actions without his permission. It shuts down any protest he has.

The sound of the movie fills the gap of silence between them the entire time. It’s a variety of bloodcurdling screams and disgusting sounds that would've made him gag if he weren't as distracted.

They can make out each other's faces through the darkness, but barely. It takes a flash of bright color from the film or a nearby car's lights turning on for them to fully see one another. Without the other knowing, they both put masks of calm and collected coolness on their faces despite the feelings raging beneath the surface—more so on his part than hers.

"Maybe," he says, pausing, "we should just keep things the way they've been."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, a soul-crushing amount of disappointment weighs her down. She said it was fine if he doesn't want it to be a date—and it is, she would never hold it against him—but that doesn't mean it can't hurt her. Things have been going so well, she almost thought...If tonight went well, she was thinking about no longer keeping it a secret, but if he said he wants things to stay the same, then maybe he isn't as ready for it as she is?

Meanwhile, JJ is on another page entirely.

She's embarrassed of being with you, a familiar voice in the back of his head croons. She's gonna leave just like everyone else does. If she doesn't even wanna tell your friends, why should you pretend you're dating?

The internal comments are the type that cause him to physically grimace when he's alone. Intrusive thoughts are just that: intrusive.

Sneaking into the guarded sanctuary of a person's mind, they set out to convince them the opposite of their reality. The only thing is, where most people's minds are guarded sanctuaries with walls of impregnable defense, his mind is the equivalent of a fortress blown to smithereens. The castle walls lay in rubble, the guards no where to be seen, and the path for these thoughts to slip past and straight to the vulnerability of his mind is left wide open.

In the privacy of his room, these thoughts attack him the most at night when he tries to fall asleep—when things get too quiet. With nobody around, when they get this bad there's nothing he can do except break down. It builds from the mere anxiety of attempting to force the thoughts away to full-blown panic attack mode. The more he resists them, the more aggressive they become. He'll gasp for air with tears streaming down his face, hitting his head with the heel of his hand as if that'd do something to stop his relentless mind.

But he can't afford to react in front of her, so the extent of his reaction is a subtle twitch of his face that she cannot see in the momentary darkness before the movie switches to another scene a second later. In a way, it does make the thoughts go away to have her here preventing him from spiraling alone. Having to focus on her keeps his mind away for moments at a time until the thoughts ease their grip on him.

When she hasn't answered for a while, he asks, terrified that he did something bad, "Are we good?"

The question seems to wake her up, snapping her out of the lonely direction her thoughts went into when he "rejected" her. It takes every bit of common sense she has left to force herself to understand that this doesn't mean he doesn't want her. He does, and not calling this a date doesn't mean they won't be together in the way they have been since John B's death, but she isn't perfect. She gets as unsure and insecure as he does.

As if the cloud of doom was lifted off of her, she makes her face lighten where she lays on her side next to him. Seeing this expression makes his chest feel less heavy, and he could let out a sigh of relief at the realization that he didn't break her heart and stomp on it. He should've known. Y/N is the sweetest person he knows, so she never would've flipped shit over him not wanting to label this as a date. That's not how she is.

And he's partly right. It isn't how she is. She would never hold it against him if he didn't want something further with her since she got herself into this position by pursuing him with his reputation with girls in mind, but she can't ignore it. Whether she wants it to or not, it had its affect on her as soon as he said it.

She leans in to kiss him, their lips meeting in the middle with the faint taste of popcorn salt mingling at the soft peck.

When she pulls away, she brushes the hair back from his face and says, "Don't worry. Nothing can change how I feel about you."

She has no clue what it feels like to hear that from her.

Despite the turmoil they unknowingly share beneath the surface due to this conversation, he could cry hearing her say it. It doesn't feel real to him that she feels the same way he does about her, because nothing could change how he feels about her either. That’s why he manages to work up the courage to repeat it back to her, and, for now, this is the closest he's physically capable of coming to telling her the truth.

"Ditto," he says.

It isn't what she wanted, but it's close enough, and if she dwells on this any longer, she might start getting too emotional and let the urge to tear up become too strong. Why does she have to be this sensitive? It's no secret that it's remarkably easy to make her cry, but this is insane to her. When all of this began with him, she didn't give a shit about him not wanting a label. She understood him, and she understood that he doesn't do this kind of thing, so why has it changed? Why doesn't she want to keep it a secret anymore? Why does she want this to be a date when she knows he doesn't want it to be?

Pulled by an invisible string back to him to silence her mind, she leans in to kiss him again with a hand cupping the back of his neck to guide him the rest of the way to her.

It shouldn't be laced with any sexual intention. She should be kissing him simply because she wants to, and, in a way, she is. Their kisses and touches are never lacking the motivation that is their underlying connection and mutual feelings for one another, but this is not the same. As he kisses her back with as much confidence and passion as always, she is reeling from the conversation that reminded her too much of a breakup.

It takes another minute of this for the kiss to heat up, their breathing becoming shallower in the moments they part to inhale, and she is undeniably the one instigating when she officially crosses the line between casual and sexual by crawling onto his lap. It's not hard for him to pick up on when their innocent moments take a turn. She's easy to read in that regard, and this has happened a multitude of times with them, so the shift of a mini make out session turning into something more is nothing out of the ordinary for them.

If he knew how shaken she is on the inside, he'd never want this. And the same would go for her if she knew what he was thinking before this. Neither of them wants to admit what they're feeling.

With her legs seated on either side of his hips, she kisses him like it's the last time she'll ever get the opportunity to. Her hands wander wherever they can, pulling at his shirt and feeling him up as his hands guide her hips to move against his in a steady grinding that she has no issue partaking in. It's an eagerness he hasn't seen from her in weeks. She's never un-excited when it comes to being physical with him either, but this is another level. The last time a girl was all over him like this, it was desperate touron at a party a few months ago.

In the span of time it takes her to glance over her shoulder to see if anyone could see them and reach to pull her skirt up until it bunches around her hips—no one can see them, by the way, since they got here late and were forced to cram the van into the back corner of the lot with no street lights illuminating the path—his brows raise at her presumptuous behavior. Not that he's one to complain, however, seeing as he's typically the one doing what she is.

Their next kiss clashes their teeth hard enough to make them wince, but he loves it. It makes him smirk into her parted mouth, alive with both the feeling her reassurance provided and the fuzzy-headed high that often finds him when they're together in this way. Incomparable to past flings or the high related to any drugs, she is the peak of everything to him. It's no contest.

His chest stutters against hers with a bout of amused laughter, asking within a brief pause in what feels like the most JJ thing he's said this awkward night, "Two for two in the Twinkie. What's gotten into you?"

Y/N's hand dips between where their bodies move together to unclasp the closed buckle of his belt in one smooth motion that has it falling apart with a clinking noise.

Her features are set with a look that tells him she means business. Whatever it is that sparked this, he wonders how the fuck to make it happen again another time. She's begged for it before, but never taken control so dominantly, and he can't deny what the role reversal does to him. The evidence is obvious in the distinct hardness she feels pressing up against the hand undoing his jeans.

"I was hoping it'd be you," she says, voice breathless and airy from the constant contact in a way that makes it ten times hotter for him.

If there were any chance of him not being in the mood prior to this, which wasn't the case anyway, it's gone now. He never wants to hear her say she doesn't deliberately try to tease him ever again.

He doesn't need to be told twice.

JJ surges forward to capture her mouth with his, this time with no intention of pulling away to breathe or speak again. No, he'll let himself get lightheaded and dizzy if it means he can stay with her for as long as possible.

With the circumstances of it all, them being visible to someone if they happened to pass by the open door of the van, they move at a pace quicker than usual. She's immediately helping him shimmy his jeans and underwear far enough down his hips to free his dick from the confines of his clothes, making him sigh out a breath of relief when her hand brushes against him in the process.

There's no opportunity to slow down, it has exploded into a full-throttle speed race that neither of them can halt.

His hand blindly flies out beside him to grope the floor of the van for the set of keys he tossed carelessly to the side once the movie started, eyes shut in the midst of the hot, messy kiss they share. His fingers find the fabric of one of the blankets they brought in case they got cold, then drifts again and lands on her Big Bird sneakers until he feels the sharp metal of her keys meet his calloused palm.

After the events of last summer, she bought a switch blade to keep on her key ring alongside the keys to the van, HMS Pogue, and Chateau. She may not like violence or weapons, seeing as she was a skeptic of JJ keeping the gun alongside her friends, but she saw it necessary. Between Rafe, Topper, and Kelce, how could she leave the safety of her and her friends up to chance knowing what some of the kooks did to them not long ago? What happened to Pope on the golf course alone was enough to make her skin crawl.

Right now, though, the knife flips out from the pressure of his thumb pushing the button to release it. He holds it out away from her at first to assure it doesn't nick her in the process, then uses his other hand to tug the side of her panties that hugs her hip far out enough to press the sharp side of the blade onto the inside of it.

She can hardly believe what she's watching as JJ cuts the delicate maroon underthings from her body as if he were doing something so normal, like it's something he's done before. Her forehead is pressed against his, her mouth parted both in shock and in a need to pant for oxygen, and she watches the knife ruin her favorite panties. The stitches come apart with a satisfying ripping noise that can hardly be heard over the sound of people reacting to the movie in the background.

Other customers of the Cherry Bowl Drive-In are too glued to the screen as a beloved character is chased down, reacting in shouts when she's seized by the killer and shoved onto the table of an industrial bread slicer, so they remain wholly unnoticed.

The lace, now ripped in half, dangles on the tip of the knife when he lifts it away from her, tosses it aside, and presses the button once more to retract the blade. It clatters to the floor, but is in no way forgotten with them resuming in a desperation to keep going until they both satisfy the need clawing at them from the inside. But her sense of need is different from his, and even with the fresh memory of him with the switch blade in mind, she's still somewhere else the whole time.

Her mind is faraway, muted through layers of sadness, anger, and disappointment as he reaches between them to line himself up to her entrance. The sensation of him running his cock, hard and messy with a few drops of precome, through her dripping pussy to coat it in her slick arousal is enough to make her moan pathetically. Yet when he's about to guide himself inside of her, she stops him.

"Wait, wait, wait," she breathes out rapidly, heart pounding so hard she can feel herself pulsating between her thighs, "Condom."

They were so antsy to get to it, they almost forgot.

"Fuck," he curses under his breath, and his eyes flicker from where they were trained between their bodies to glance back and forth around the van before it hits him. "I lost my wallet..."

But right when he thinks their public rendezvous in the back of the Drive-In is over due to his unfortunate mistake, she shakes her head and slips away from her perch astride his lap to crawl over to her bag.

She fumbles with the old tote bag and plunges her arm in to sift through the hodge podge of things that are purely Y/N in nature—stickers, glitter pens, a half-eaten bag of candy, etc—for the square foil package she decided to toss in before she left just in case. She usually doesn't keep them on her because he never fails to have one, but, thankfully, she had the random instinct to bring it tonight.

The only thing to bring her out of her cloudy, malevolent storm of feelings when she settles back onto his lap with the condom wrapper ripped open for him is him saying, "So you planned this, huh?" with his mouth tipped in a familiar self-satisfied grin.

She didn't plan it. In fact, she threw herself at him the second she sensed him withdrawing from her and can't stop herself despite the fact that she constantly feels two seconds away from letting a tear slip down her cheek. If that counts as "planning it", then sure.

"Maybe so," she answers, cool, calm, and collected—the antithesis of the truth.

They usually don't lie to each other.

They're thrown right back into it without any other hiccups once he rolls the condom on, and he takes in a shaky breath at her hand wrapping around him to align their bodies up. Before she can do anything, though, he takes chance to swipe the blanket he found a moment ago and wrap it around her back to keep her covered in case they get caught.

Y/N sinks down onto his cock with her lip caught between her teeth to stifle the sound that threatens to escape. JJ, on the other hand, doesn't bother concealing the sound of the groan he makes at the sensation of having her wrapped around him like this. The tension in her entire body from the anticipation and the looming threat of being seen by someone has her squeezing him so tightly, he can't help but be a little louder than he should.

Her soft palm slaps over his mouth with enough pressure to force his groan to quiet itself, and she watches his pretty blue eyes widen in reaction to the dominant action. Who is this girl and what has she done with his sweet, submissive Y/N? Don't get him wrong, he is very turned on by it, but it's unlike her to take the lead this way. He can't figure it out.

"What's wrong, angel?" she asks in a whisper into his ear, her hand over his mouth and her hips starting to slowly rock against him, "Watch the movie."

Once the words leave her mouth, she drops her hand, just in case he wants to stop and can't say anything because she had his mouth covered, and JJ is pretty sure he's died and gone to heaven.

He doesn't watch the movie, not at all, because he's too busy watching her. For someone losing their mind internally, she does not let it show, nor does she let it distract her from what's happening. If anything, the distraction in this situation is the sex, not what's going on inside of her head.

There's a moment of adjustment and going as slowly and gently as possible while waiting for the dull pressure of feeling him inside of her to fade away, but, for the most part, she doesn't waste any time. As soon as she feels comfortable enough with the ache between her thighs giving way to a spark of pleasure when she grinds her clit down on his pubic bone, she starts to ride him at a better pace than the initial slow movements of her hips.

She raises herself up and takes him again inch by inch, enjoying the sense of fullness she gets from having to fit him in spite of the slight discomfort at first, and she could swear that he'll leave bruises in the shape of his handprints with how tightly he clutches her hips. It's all he can do to prevent himself from moaning or saying something, ever the vocal lover she's come to know.

Unless his mouth is preoccupied like it was on the beach yesterday afternoon, JJ is usually impossible to shut up, especially in this context. With him always whispering dirty things to her, whether it be praises, pet names, or plans on what he wants to do to her, she has come to find it breathtakingly hot. He could likely get away with saying something if he wanted to, but he isn't sure he wants to risk it. If he opens his mouth to spew something filthy to her, he won't trust himself not to make a louder, different kind of noise that won't fit in the with background audio the other moviegoers are listening to.

The wet sound of their bodies colliding that fills the space of the van is drowned out by the loud and violent sequence occurring on the screen far ahead of them, and hearing it makes her bounce herself on him a little harder. She's fueled on by it all, and, strangely, what happened before she practically pounced on him is the main contributor.

Similarly to the nature of his intrusive thoughts, the harder she resists the memory of how it felt when he told her he didn't want this to be a date, the more forceful it is in its return. Her eyes trail down to watch where they connect with her forehead pressed to his, then she's thrown back into the feeling of helpless disappointment and insecurity. His head tips back against the window with his bottom lip dropped open and his brows furrowed just enough to create a crease on his forehead, and she's bombarded with the look of relief on his face when he realized he didn't have to be tied down to her with a label.

It makes her want to get rougher, harder, and she doesn't even care if it'll make her sore later on. She presses herself down so far every time she slides down on his cock, her teeth draw blood on her lip with how hard she must bite it to remain quiet. The pain of her hipbones rubbing against his doesn't even matter to either of them at this point. They're both too lost in the pleasure that has begun to take control of them to care about something as minuscule as that, or the burn in her thighs from the repetitive physical strain.

She grabs his wrist and brings his hand between them, flattening hers overtop of it and pressing down on the base of her abdomen in the midst of the increasingly feverish thrusts.

"Feel you here," she murmurs to him through a quiet moan, hoping he can hear it over the movie, and pushes down on his hand for emphasis. And if the way he reacts by cursing under his breath tells her anything, it's that he picked up on it. "JJ..."

He reaches out to grab her by the throat with his free hand and tug her forward to kiss him, as if something inside of him snapped in response to her doing that. The motions of her jolting up and down throws the already messy and uncoordinated kiss off-kilter, but they don't mind. It has them separating every time she lifts up, producing this heady little head rush from from them breathing in each other's air without actually letting their mouths meet in the middle.

Though they're trying their hardest not to alert anyone outside of what's happening, it didn't occur to him until now, when his eyes catch John B's old bandana swinging back and forth where it's secured around the rear view mirror.

They're worried about moaning while the entire fucking Twinkie is rocking with their movements. Well, at least it makes good use of the corny sticker he gifted John B last year as a gag gift. He tried to peel it off after JJ snuck it onto the side window to no avail. So, now Y/N is stuck with a sticker on her car reading, "If the van's a-rockin', come on in, we like orgies," rather than the more common phrase.

It almost makes him start laughing, and he prays no one takes that shit seriously, 'cause he is never intent on sharing this breathtaking girl. Ever.

Y/N isn't anywhere near laughing like he is, in fact, she's finding it difficult to keep herself together. She feels her eyes sting with the promise of tears, and she's never felt so pathetic before. Is she seriously about to cry during sex? Is she really that girl that is so ill-equipped to handle rejection, she can't get through it without tears?

She won't cry. Perhaps if he sees how glossy her eyes have become in a rare moment of good lighting, she can blame it on the hand around her throat putting pressure on the sides of her neck.

The worst part about her being near to crying is the timing of it.

The emotion of what she feels mentally mixes with the swirling, building sensation she feels in the pit of her stomach that tells her she's close to going over the edge, and it's so overwhelming. Was she imagining that their friendship had changed? More importantly, is this all she'll ever be to him? Sex is the only thing she's sure of with him, it's the only thing that doesn't require deeper emotions, and when the ground beneath their fragile relationship felt shaky...

He can feel her starting to unravel, and he knows that he'll come before she does if he doesn't do anything now, so he decides to take control.

JJ pulls the hand he had resting on her abdomen away as though he were burned by it, wrapping his arm around her waist to steady her body against his and using the hand around her neck for leverage to thrust up into her, effectively reducing her to a teary-eyed, moaning mess atop him. They both stopped caring about making noise the second he began to fuck her like this.

She cries out in ecstasy at the sudden change in pace and depth that has him hitting all the right places. Every time he thrusts up into her, just as rough as she wished for, the tip of his cock nudges into that perfect spot inside of her that makes her incapable of silencing her moans. This time, it's JJ that puts his hand over her mouth, letting the one he had around her neck move away to keep her from alerting everyone around them of what's happening.

There's nothing she can do to stop her climax as it barrels through her in its initial sweeping wave of bliss to contrast the venomous doubts in her mind. She's never felt such conflicting, yet powerful feelings before—the intensity of the physical pleasure that makes her whine into the palm of his hand, then the part of her mind replaying every word he said in their conversation before this.

Her body is rigid and tense through it all, squeezing down around his cock with the involuntary spasms of her orgasm, and he can't help himself anymore. All it takes are a few more frantic thrusts for him to bury himself inside of her one last time and spill into the condom, uncovering her mouth so he can drown out his own groans into a kiss.

Their skin sticks to their clothes on the inside with sweat from the exertion of their actions, and he can feel her stomach tremble where it presses up against his with each undulation of her hips that meet his as he rides it out.

But even with the added distraction of the sex, she can't rid herself of the feeling that started plaguing her as soon as things went awry. That was why he was acting weird all night. He must have been so worried about her thinking this was anything more than their typical hangouts that he couldn't bring himself to act normally.

She forces herself to look happy when they pull away from the kiss, panting, and JJ, unaware of what she's been thinking, doesn't notice the small deception.

Tag list: @gabiatthedisco

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Trophy Chapter Eight

Masterlist

You become confused and start to question your feelings whilst Henry tries to be romantic but Stephan manages to fuck things up.

Warnings: Obsessive Behaviour, Implied Smut, Mentions of Murder, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of Torture, Dark themes, Yandere, Swearing, Daddy kink, Spanking threats, Angst?, Violence, Dark fluff(even I don't bloody know)

A/n: its quater past 11....I should be sleeping...my cat is littarily meowing at me to got to sleep but im not so here have chapter eight!!! so this chapter is mostly plot no smut unfortunately but the next one will be 1000٪. I have finally finally got the entire plot to this fic finished and written, I actually have some scenes for the next three chapters done to! But as I said mainly plot I intendedthis to be a little confusing from y/n perspective I want you to get a sense of what y/n is going through juggling her feelings and all that apart from that I really hope you enjoy this one xx

Taglist: @havenoffandoms​ @aphrodites-punch​ @charlieferret​ @thatgirly81​ @two-unbeatable-beaters​ @fitnees-motivation-2020​ @viking-raider​ @iloveyouyen​ @black-ninja-blade​

Gif not mine but the divider is xxx

Stephan was at a loss, sitting in the cheap b and b room he rented, papers strewn across the floral bed spread he had been going through his contacts agents. Friends. Investigative journalists. Anyone and everyone he could think of hoping someone somewhere would give him a break, a lead something anything! A way for him to distract Henry enough so he could slip you away from him. Fuck sake at this point he'd pull him in for a fucking parking violation just to get this barstard alone in a room for five minutes!! But no one was willing to help they were all in until the name Cavill was mentioned. He couldnt really blame them Cavill did two things to people who investigated him ruined them or off'd them.

Just last week another agent who'd been working undercover as one of the handlers of his prostitutes was found by the bay death by necklacing. A grusome death something he hadn't seen used in America before, usually it was a shooting or stabbing, necklacing was a brutal ,loud and mostly used in places like Africa and Brazil. Execution and torture all in one. It may be one of the cruelest ways to kill someone but it was in all honesty simple to do, hell anyone could do it which is why they couldn't pin it on Henry specifically, hands bound to your chest; in this case with wire and a tire full of petrol placed over you holding them still trapping them, doused in more petrol and set alight. Its a slow agonizing death that takes around twenty minutes, her screams would have been loud but no one in the area had heard or see a thing he bet they had and were just to frightened. He couldn't blame them he saw the girl before she'd been taken off to autopsy, agents; professional, trained to deal with anything agents,onscene were being physically sick from the sight and smell unused to this type of violence. The poor agent had suffered even before that. Autopsy showed she had been raped beforehand she was described as cut and torn up in the report, but they must have used condoms of some description as there wasn't any dna evidence. Or if there was it had been burned away like her charred skin, her body had been in such a bad way that there was nothing to go on. Without evidence they can't charge or formally question a suspect.

Safe to say everyone was shaken up, some left completley requested reassignment and all the ones who came before him were either dead of terrified of the man. Not only that word of Stephans fuck up had got out and he was now a laughing stock. Stephan was supposed to be a honey trap, go undercover seduce a woman of intrest to do one of two things one, prob for information, if she had some great! Stay and use it and If she didnt dump her move on to the next job simple Or two, find a woman to maintain a close connection to the target in this case that was you. It was believed that there was a connection between you and Cavill.

The mobster out of the blue was trying to buy a block of flats in a shitty area. Now Cavill owned property,  lots of property but never flats and never on that type of estate. He owned fancy restaurants and night clubs stupidly high class bars that had dress codes and the residential properties were allways four beroom three bathroom houses worth millions with fucking suanas and shit. Bottom line it was out of character and the man was trying to rush through the sale. The higher ups had hoped with the way he was acting; so out of character and flustered, that he would fuck up. He a mobster kingpin with litteraly billions to his name was trying to buy a building that was falling apart, in a run down poor area, wasn't for sale and was willing to skip negotiations and overpay... 

The only possible connection to it all was you. They knew Fletcher had dealings with Henry and knew Henry used the cafe for his smaller business meetings. That was the most infuriating thing they knew so much but they just couldn't prove it!. So Stephan was called in to see if you was privvy to Henry and his empire and if you was willing to be an informant. Simple. Until it wasn't and feelings got involved. He wasn't supposed to fall for you but he had and that had cost him the assignment. He was supposed to drop it but he wont, so he had to sniff around himself he knew Henry kidnapped you, he knew Fletcher set it up and he knew he was going to save you. With that in mind he decided to do something he never even dreamed. Stephan was going to go rouge.

Henry was content albeit impatient,  he waited at the bottom of the stairs waited for you his wonderful little princess. He had arranged a night out in one of his top restaurants, he figured now that you were here willingly he could begin to spoil you, lavish you with the luxury you deserved and you had been good these past days you deserved a treat. Tonight was about showing you just what it means to be his, the respect, the glitz and glamour. He was hoping that he could begin to sway you more, he knew you were questioning youself and him, his intentions and as you were questioning he saw a change you were more compliant. He paced slowly his head of security Luke was there beside him stiff as a board, Luke thought it was a mistake flaunting you around so early. But Luke could go fuck himself, Luke was not in charge and Luke should keep his opinions to himself.

Henry was begining to get tired of the mans bitching it was clear that his head of security had something against his sweet pet. It may have been the fact that Henry; seeing the bruises on your wrists after your escape that was definitely not made from handcuffs, had investigated and watched the security footage seeing the way the gruff man had manhandled you dragged you through the house after taunting you, thrown you into your day room on the day you'd escaped. Yes Henry ha found out and promised the man a grizzley end if it ever happened again. The only man to leave marks on your soft skin was him. Luke was bitter over the fact you'd escaped further then the garden on his watch, well thats what Henry put it down to.

"If you sigh again I will stop you breathing altogether!" He finally snapped over his shoulder to the man. 

"Sorry sir I just think-" Henry spun on his heel pointing at him.

"I dont pay you to think! I pay you to do as your fucking told! To protect our investments and you didnt! Incase you haven't noticed your on thin ice as it is, theres a line of others who would take your place in a heartbeat Luke so I suggest you start pulling your shit together unless you want an early retirement." The words were hissed a snarl he couldn't help the thrill that came from Luke's shocked fearfull look. Luke knew poeple didnt retire from his position, not the in the masive pay out and a sipping pinacolada on a sandy beach sense. The only retirement he would see is two foot wide and six foot deep if he was lucky. Henry watched steely eyes burning into the man before him, the guard finally looked away gulping nodding slowly.

"Y-yes sir..I will go make sure the car is ready" Henry smirked crossing his arms 

"You do that! Be the most usefull thing you've done all day." Luke cringed at that but could say nothing he simply left the house out towards the drive shuting the door with a quiet click. Henry shook his head as he watched Luke descend the few step of the porch. He was going to have to do something about him soon.

He pulled his thoughts away from the dark path they had traveled and glanced at the stairs again then began his pacing from side to side once again looking at his the rolex upon his wrist. You were taking your time. Sighing he turned again looking expectantly at the stairs. Its not like you had to decide what to wear he had laid it out! He had done the hard bit all you had to do was hair and make up. He grunted making another lap of his choosen pace route. You better not be up there pouting, if you were he was going to be very annoyed. Five more minutes. He decided five minutes then he would go check and if you was being a little madam and pouting he would blister you ass with the belt at his waist and drag you out anyway dressed or not. He moved finally standing at the stairs hand gripping the banister in a white knuckle grip hissing through his teeth. 

Then he heard it heels tapping on the marble floor slow and unsteady, you were coming. He held his breath waiting for you to turn the corner at the top of the landing. When you did he had to swallow dryly, you were a vision, stunning you were made to be on his arm there was no doubt about it. You made your way down the stairs trying not to topple over in the high heels, which you suspected he had put you in so you couldnt run. Well you could try but you have to unbuckle them first which would be a dead give away. 

You'll admit the dress was beautiful and comfortable considering how figure hugging it was. A deep royal blue velvet ,thin spaghetti straps and a low open back stopping just at the swell of your bottom, the front had a soft swooping neckline showing a hint of the very top of your breasts. It was a fine choice, henry definitely had an eye for these things. Every outfit he put you in since being here was always well thought out and this was no exception. You had to be careful tonight, he had provided a dress, stockings garterbelt even jewellery and some new lipsticks! but no panties. It made you nervous, it was one thing to always be around the house in skirts with no undies but to go out? You had to be wary, the small mercy was that it was a knee length dress so hopefully no accidents. However that being said with how form fitting it was and the way it pushed up your boobs there was more chance of a nip slip then a lip slip.

There was a complete set of expensive looking Jewellery that each had been packed in blank leather jewellery boxes and was presented on purple velvet. The necklace was three long strings of diamonds one a choker then longer to your collar bone then the final resting just below your dress' neckline the middle string holding one single large diamond in the center, the weighty rock made you dread to think of the cost and matching small dangling earrings and a bracelet...And anklet he had insisted you to be head to toe in diamonds. 

For your hair you had styled it up and away from your face in a sleek sophisticated look,your make up was light, you didnt want to go all out and make him think you were trying to impress him, although in some respects you did want to impress him but for now you would ignor that. You had settled for a light face of make up and one of your new lipsticks a dark nude shade between a peach and beige the last thing you wanted was for him to get angry about not putting in effort which was a real possibility with how the slightest things could trigger a mood swing.

You'd found the past week since you had....Assisted him in the livingroom something had changed, a subtle change at first. You found youself stealing quick glances and smiles at him, he had caught you staring a few times and winked making you flush and stutter. He still had his moments but it seemed your 'admission' of not wanting to leave and wanting to try to stay and fall in love with him had calmed him down significantly. Sure you'd been given a few punishments when he got insecure here and there. You had been finding yourself participating in all of the intimate moments he was forcing onto you, when you did things with him you could barely speak let alone think the throws of passion was an escape. To your own confusion and shame you now admitted to yourself you enjoyed him lathering you with attention it was becoming to easy to melt into his embrace, to tempting to kiss the man back and cuddle up to him as he soothed the burning prints he left across your skin. You were frightened at just how much you began to crave him and need him, you still tried resisting but it was few and far between. In reality you were giving in to him and you didnt exactly hate the change. despite everything it sill felt a little wrong to let him get his way but that bad feeling was becoming easier to ignore.

But don't get things wrong, you had no desire to stay here permanently you had just resigned yourself to it for the time being...You think things i  your...Relationship were confusing at the moment you liked the man but hated how this had all come about. You tried reasoning that your feelings were changing in some sort of survival technique or something. That subconsciously you had to pacify him, make him believe you was slowly falling for him so he wouldn't hurt you or the ones you loved. But at this point you wasn't entirely sure. I mean if that were true and you did this all for Stephans life shouldnt you feel somthing for the agent. But in reality all you felt was abandoned and betrayed by him, but it didn't hurt not like the loos of a friend or lover as you thought it would have. Maybe you was just weird? or maybe you didn't really love him? What ever it was you was thankfull for it as you could concentrate more on yourself and what you had to do to get out of this alive, sane and single. You were not falling in love with this mad man no matter what he did and said you shouldnt fall for it you shouldnt fall for him. But you were slowly realising that just because  you shouldn't didn't mean you wouldn't.

Henry's face lit up as you slowly made your way down the steps on wobbly feet unused to the heels that brought the top of your head up to his eye line. Seeing you struggling he smirked meeting you half way up the stairs linking his arm with yours. You flinched almost pulling back knowing you should but his grip was firm and you needed help. His voice was low and playful when he spoke.

"It seems you will need my help with walking tonight before you've even touched a drop of wine my love. Thats no matter, more of a reason for you to cling to me and I do enjoy you wrapped around me pet." You gave a quick glance, so you was in these ridiculous heels for a reason. You forced a smile letting go of the banister as he walked you down the stairs over to the door.

"You look stunning! I have the best table in the place reserved just for us but first" he moved spinning around you and just like a magic trick his hand appeared from behind him with a small ring box, he moved pulling up your left hand kissing the back of it. You shivered as he maintained eye contact feeling him smirk. You cursed yourself wanting to contorl your reactions but couldnt seem to. He spoke a cheeky grin his voice was playfull. 

"Here something to complete the outfit I wont have my little girls hands bare~" You gulped as he pulled back the lid of the small box revealing an obnoxiously huge rock sat embedded in what looked like a silver but was most likely white gold band. You tugged at your hand and winced when he dug his thumb in your palm tugging your hand out hashly.

"Daddy! That's to much-I'm not one for rings please everything else is enough. " He blinked his face dropping.

"You don't like it? Whats wrong with it?" You eyed him carefully and shrugged.

"No-nothing I just..." he interrupted you growling at you scowling

"You don't want it? I had it made for you and now you don't even fucking want it? I just wanted to treat you baby? You've been so good and now your going to start acting up? When I'm trying to reward you for being so good. Just trying to have a quiet night out with you, I dont have to take you out, I could fucking keep you here day in day out" You could hear it, that of hectic insanity. Frantic undertones. You quickly shook your head.

"No no I want it! I do want it I'm just worried...It looks...Ive never had anything that looks that expensive" you moved forward to him placing a hand on his chest rubbing slightly, youd learned fast that initiating intimate gestures help calm him a little.

"I-i'm frightened that I'd upset you if I loose it especially if we dance..We are going to have our first slowdance tonight aren't we? I was hopeing we could..Tho people will laugh I've never danced like that before." It did the trick he calmed blinking slowly then beamed at you.

"Oh little one thats sweet of you to worry about daddys feelings like that..But baby I wont be upset if you lost it Id just get you another one pet... Now come here and keep still like a good girl" you sighed in relief as he calmed down you cringed and twisted your hand as he tried to place it on your ring finger, his eyes flicked up to you in warning.

"Its...thats bad luck I'd rather not.." he grunted and took your right hand placing it on your ring finger. You shuddered as you realised it fit perfectly. He moved back placing one parting kiss.

"That is your first warning tonight, daddy doesn't want any games...You ruin tonight and I will be very displeased and you will not like the outcome" you nodded takig a breath.

"Y-yes daddy I understand...I'll be good" he gave a quick look.

"You better now lets go" you released a breath tho calmer he wasn't happy youd argued, disagreed you wasnt supposed to do that.

Henry playing the part of a gentleman opened the door to the car for you. Once inside he set off out of the gate, you shivered a little trying not to glance at him. He moved his hand to your leg patting it softly rubbing the soft nylon of the stockings he groaned subtly to himself as he continued down the road, you cringed a little moving to pull the hem of the dress down not wanting him to take advantage of the rising skirt and your bare pussy merely inches above. He squeezed lightly feeling you tug the fabric down under his palm cutting off the contact. He rolled his eyes biting his lip to stop the comments on the tip of his tongue. No he wont ruin this night before its begun, anything that happens he can rectify later when you were restrained and withering one your final treat. He licked his lips as he thought about the nights festivities and hopefully what the outcome will be. He was pulled from his devious thoughts when you wriggled uncomfortably still trying to get used to wearing half a set of underwear... And lets face it stockings and garter belts aren't exactly the norm any way. It was after ten minutes of sighing, huffing and squirming that he spoke pulling you out of your thoughts.

"Whats the matter little one?" you snapped you head to him and smiled going to brush him off he removed his hand from your leg wagging a finger.

"Ah ah come on no lying that will be your second warning and we aren't even there yet~" you closed your mouth giving him a heavy pout he rose an eyebrow letting his hand land back in your lap.

"Its...Well I've never...I'm getting used to the stockings...Never worn them before and its strange under the dress...especially not having any panties on....I'm covered but not " he through his head back and laughed as he pulled up to a red light.

"Oh love! you should have said baby...I thought you were having a paddy! I was getting ready to take you back home and tann your naughty backside with my belt." you snapped your head in his direction gulping knowing full well he would have.

"Oh little one don't be so tense..I promise tonight I'm going to spoil you this is a treat baby girl a night of fine food,  fine wine and even finer company" you smiled forgetting your underwear situation for a moment twiddling your new bracelet wanting to take your mind off things. You were going to try and enjoy the night try and forget everything just for one night. You smiled up at him shyly.

"I'm looking forward to it..But I get the feeling your taking me somwhere fancy and I've neve done fancy... think the fanciest place I've been is your house"he chuckled looking forward to the road cheking the lights then moved to face you.

"Our...Its our house pet you live there to now remember.. and don't worry I own the place so no one will say anything if you make a little slip up...Okay little one and if anyone does upset you ,you tell me straight away..I wont have my babygirls night ruined by anyone" you didn't want his words to effect you but they did, the idea of him caring enough to make sure you enjoy the night was sweet.

"Y-you mean it?" he nodded giving the lights another quick glance then focused back on you

"Of course! tonight is all about spoiling my number one! you can have anything you want and that includes a doggy bag of deserts to bring home" you smiled at him hopefully giggling.

"Deserts sound good! I'm excited now do they have cheesecake?" he pursed his lips thinking for a second wanting to prolong your cheerful mood.

"Yes, three kinds and I assume you'll be having a slice of each?" you nodded at him with a cheeky grin, Henry smirked at you leaning in playfully tucking his hand by your knee tickling the back making you giggle and squirm pushing at him. 

"Well my love three slices..Now that is a big ask and deserves a pre-payment I think...Three kisses should suffice" you grinned shaking your head at him and squealed as he leaned over playfully growling stealing three sweet kisses then leaned back in his seat , he was gobsmacked when youd followed him placing a peck against his cheek. You froze realizing what you did and jumped back holding your lips in surprize. What the fuck was that? He smirked moving the car into drive as the light changed. You righted yourself in the seat leaning back choosing to forget that little slip up. But still felt optimistic maybe tonight would be a fun night out even if it was with Henry.

YES! it had paid off, a few days he had spent watching waiting but finally there was movement. he had been waiting here at the main road leading to the mobsters house. Parked next to a motel mainly used by truckers who stayed overnight, Stephan quickly climbed to the front seat of the car watching as the Aston martin drove past him, not just any Aston martin Henry's Aston martin, the only custom db11 in the city. He quickly pulled his binoculars out to see...Fuck yes!...He couldn't believe his luck! you were in the passenger seat and dolled up... He took a breath you looked incredible and to his utter despair and confusion you looked happy?.

Henry stopped at the intersection Stephan fumed as Henry laughed at something you said then moved his hand out of sight making you roll your eyes and press him away playfully laughing he didn't pull back instead he quickly leaned over kissing you, and the thing that cut Stephan most was that you let him, you seemed to enjoy his attention. Stephan's heart clenched seeing you like that, you were supposed to hate him...You were a captive. You couldn't possibly like the man could you?. He shook his head of course you didn't a mad man like henry? you were playing a part, hopefully a part that you could retire from tonight. He flicked on the ignition throwing down his binoculars if he could follow you both...If he could get in he had a chance, could give you a chance to escape! he could save you.

He took a second watching again as you moved you were smiling giving him a quick peck, he couldn't bare to watch anymore he closed his eyes gripping the steering wheel tight swearing. Could he be to late? He loathed to think of just what he had put in your head what he could have convinced you to do. The light turned green and car pulled away, he waited a few seconds then pulled out making sure not to be to close or be caught by the lights. It only took the disgraced agent around fifteen minuets to realize where you were being taken. It would seem Henry was taking you on a date? trying to romance you, wine and dine you but then what? there had to be a reason, and ulterior motive. Stephan held back watching as the Aston martin pulled around the front of the hotel, Henry exited the car and walked around holding your door for you. He felt a rush of anger as Henry helped you out of the car then tossed the keys across the car to the valet. Stephan stared gulping, you really did look amazing even if you were struggling to stand in shoes he knew you wouldn't have been caught dead in if you had a say. He must have forced you in to them, so he could have you wrapped around him, leaning and clutching at him as you wobbled about unsteady. His blood boiled as Henry moved offering you his arm when you took it he felt..betrayed almost asking himself if you were worth it now, it looked like Henry had got to you. He seethed watching you climb the few stairs to the hotel entrance linking arms with your captor ,you looked up at the mad man smiling nodding as he spoke completely at ease.

Something was very wrong with this image, a kidnapped woman going out on the town with her kidnapper? on what looked like a romantic date?. You hadn't seemed like one of those shallow golddiggers who'd do anything for a bit of bling or money, but Stephan couldn't help but wonder to himself at that point. You looked happy if not a little nervous? shy? you looked like a love struck teenager. But Stephan couldn't help himself he couldn't doubt you, you needed him to get you out, to save you. You needed him to try. He moved pulling the car around the back, thankfully as this was a hotel people were coming and going all the time so it'd be easy enough to get in, he was coming for you. Tonight he will save you and it will look like nothing more then a lovers spat! a perfectly realistic situation that would have no repercusions. Once he had you, you could testify against the mobster and this would all be over. Henry would finally be behind bars where he belongs.

You took a breath seeing the long line of people waiting to get in the restaurant each in expensive looking glad rags,you tucked your head down akwardly as Henry strode past the long line of people each making a fuss at the two of you. Some did not knowing just who the man on your arm was. Henry cut to the front interrupting the guest at the front.

"Is everthing ready?" His voice was bored as a woman quickly scampered over ready to let the owner in much to the anger of the other guest. The two at the front tried capturing his attention to give him a piece of their mind but Henry ignored them.

It wasn't long before you were in the high end restaurant in one of the towns two five star hotels that he owned. It was nice the restaurant was about fifteen stories up a dark blue almost black marble looking floor,  tables all coverd with pure white table clothes that felt like some stupid 800 thread count material ,high back black leather chairs ,single white roses and candles on each table dotted around. The focal point was a huge wall with intergrated tropical fishtank that seperated the regular tables and vip area which was raised slightly. The set up was split in two, one half all centred around useing the veiw courtesy of the floor to ceiling windows looking over the town the other half had the fish tank to look at..It was clever really the fishtank gave you a faux sense of privacy a perfect divider that let light flow to the other half of the seating area.

Henry walked you straight past the fish tank to a high private table in the corner of the vip area a huge bouquet of roses sat on the table. 

"For you babygirl" you couldn't help but smile brightly as he slid them to you. You leaned in smelling the roses slowly running your finger across the curve of the soft petals your heart warmed and for a moment you truley felt... Special? Cherished?.

You cast a sweeping gaze across the seating area admiring it whilst empty knowing it wont be for long, it was the most expensive place you'd ever been to eat. As you looked around you noticed that the other geusts were slowly trickling in being seated by smartly dressed servers. You looked slower taking in the decor more carfully. Henry wasnt lying when he said the table was the best in the place  it had a uninterrupted veiw of the city and the restaurant.

"You like it?" You nodded looking around the decor was black and gold giving a art decor gatsby vibe. He moved pulling out your chair letting sit then sat himself across from you smileing as you pulled the roses across the table placing then on the corner out of the way blushing. 

"Yes I was right it is a fancy place...A little daunting but exciting...And I can't wait for my cheesecake its my favourit and I haven't had it in sooo long!"

"Any thing for you my little one...But only good little girls who eat all their dinner get a desert you know that...ah ah no pouting!"

"But tonight's supposed to be a treat daddy" he gave you a stern look across the table at your pouting 

"Yes and if your a good girl and ask nicely we would eat out like this everyday, but you were naughty to begin with and daddy has to be strict and have lots of rules...And one of those rules is no desert before dinner now enough pouting don't be ungrateful" you blushed stupidly enough you agreed with him in a way you'd come to enjoy some of his rules, they made you feel...accomplished in a way youd never experienced before, you had something to work to and when you did as he asked he praised you which always made a warmth in your chest blossom. You tucked your nose in a rose you'd plucked from your bouquet grinning softly.

"Im sorry Daddy...Thank you for the roses they are very beautiful" he smiled holding his arms out in a exasperated gesture tilting his head for emphasis

"Well at least you will accept flowers with out a fuss little one...Thats one thing I can now be sure of" You looked down still feeling scolded even if his tone was light you cursed the feeling in your chest. Like rocks had been stuffed in your ribcage making your chest heavy, he was obviously still bitter about the ring you could tellfrom how pissy he was being. You fidgeted worrying just what that would mean for you during the night.

Almost immediately after you sat down you were served a sweet smelling dark wine by a fairly handsome man who popped the cork with ease handing it to Henry whilst giving you a nervous smile you smiled back to him unaware of Henry's face turning sour he nodded and gave the young man a gruff grunt to proceed, the wine was acceptable apparently you watched as the server moved pouring you out a half glass with shaking hands well aware of Henry who was glaring daggers at him ,you smiled to thanking him. Henry must have taken it wrong as he snarled a 'fuck off' at the man who quickly placed the bottle on the table and practically ran out of sight.

"Hen- da I...what was?...I was just being polite please can we just enjoy ourselves...Please." he sat back regarding you one elbow on the arm of his chair twiddling his fingers, his gaze was unerving. He paid no mind to a waitress placing a bottle of bourbon and a glass finally he clicked his tongue smirking enjoying makeing you squirm. He smiled quickly leaning over pouring his own drink casually.

"I'd be carefull pet, you've got one warning left tonight it'd be a shame to have to reprimand you here and trust me daddy has no qualms of upending you on this table and giving you a sound thrashing" you jolted opening your mouth unable to find any words you settled on nodding quietly sipping at you drink meekly he rolled his fingers in a smooth motion until it was a loose fist.

"Answer me pet you know I hate you ignoring me unless you want to be made an example of here? want everyone to see your cute little bottom turned pink over daddy's lap as you kick and squirm like a naughty little girl" you squinted your eyes cheeks tniging pink at his words, deciding it was best not to test him you quickly slapped the drink down a few drops jumped from the glass staining the crisp white table cloth. You froze watching the dark liquid seep across the fibers.

"I-I'm sor-ry please I didn't mean-" you panicked and began begging looked up and could have cried for some reason he was keeping you on edge tonight more so than usual. He was smiling playfully into the rim of his glass, he had been toying with you...had he? you had hoped you knew his mind games but he was in an unpredictable mood tonight.

He moved slowly plucking the menu curling a finger calling a waitress over and ordered for the both of you. You sat twiddling your fingers unsure of what to do, he had seemed happy in the car but in here...It was like he wanted to keep you on a short leash, make you understand although you were out having a treat you were not free to do as you pleased. You settled on people watching moving to get a view of the other couples, they smiled and curled around one another so happy in love. Free.

You looked down blinking away tears, was this worse? Being out and seeing what you'd never have? In the house you could ignore it but here watching them be so genuine. No matter how much you fell at this mans feet you'd never have that freedom to feel, to be so careless in your love. You'd always be controlled be pressed into what ever made him happy...

Your purpose was to make this beautiful monster happy. But you'd agreed, was it wrong to let yourself go under? To fully succumb to his dominance and try to enjoy him. To find comfort in him and accept him as the beautiful yet cruel man he was?you would have to eventually so why wait? It'd save you heat ache in the end. And as the days blurred into weeks and months you knew that it would be easy. He was vindictive and spite full. He was ruthless and cunning yet to you he was almost kind, it would be easier if you swallowed your pride and let yourself fall for him. Life would be easier and you was slowly accepting that it was the obvious choice, you moved casting a glance at the couples around you. Could that be you? Could you have that happiness in the end with him? the frightening thig was. Yes. you could already feel that your feelings were changing slowly but surely, were you in love with him? no did you care for him? Yes.

You hadn't realised he moved until he had made his way arohnd the table holding ut a hand palm up below your down turned face. You jumped snapping your head up confused he furrowed his brows slightly pressing a hand to your cheek wiping away a few stray tears.

"Dont cry pet...Not here no one should see your tears but me, no one should put them there but me. Here come on take my hand" you quickly moved wiping them away once your face was free of tears he grasped your hand. Pulling you up slowly, you followed docile as he pulled you towards a large dancefloor at the back of you space just behinde the bar. You saw there were a few couples were already slow dancing you tensed.

He spun round to face you as the song changed to one you recognized, No peace by Sam Smith played loud yet soft through the speakers it was one of our favourite's but this time the words had a much deeper meaning. He held your back his palm hot against the bare skin he stepped forward pulling your hand up near his shoulder you held him softly. Swaying slowly you'r eyes darted around eyes were on you from those who knew Henry, guests and staff alike.

"Look at me...Forget them little one they are just curious its rare for them to see such elegance up close, and I must say you look divine...More of a little lady then a little girl" you flushed at the compliment trying to follow his skilled movements as he placed his feet expertly without a thought to it as he spun you around in smooth steps across the floor, you swore looking at your feet as you stepped wrong capturing his toes. He chuckled and lifted you effortlessly off his foot  an inch or so and placed you back to the floor

"Sorry..I don't mean to..I've never danced like this before...Not very good on a normal dance floor and I'm ten times worse at this, these heels aren't helping...I must look like fucking bambi on ice" he chuckled smoothing his thumb across the skin of your back. Enjoying the backless dress pressing his hands into you feeling your shivers the ripples across your back as he smothered you in his huge frame, letting you feel small in his embrace. He quickly and subtly lifted you up once again as you nearly stood on him again.

"Bambi is a very fitting name I may steal that one" you gave a shy smile smirked spinning you aubruptly then pulled you back skillfully tugging you a little closer. He tilted his head down talking in a hushed baritone voice. 

"Your doing fine...Just let daddy lead, daddy will look after you I promise" you gulped and nodded he spun you again this time making sure your bodys touched, slipping his feet between yours using them to move yours guiding your steps.

He settled you to him as he moved prompting you to lay your head on his shoulder he spun you both slowly bringing you near the center of the floor to make sue no one bumped into you. You sighed humming along quietly whispering the lyrics suddenly there was a lump in your throat you swallowed hard pressing your head into his neck. It looked intimate. It was intimate. You listened as he picked up where you left off humming he lyrice into your ear low and relaxing. You whined moving your hands holding him around the neck breathing a shaky breath into his neck. He moved pressing a sweet kiss to your head song changed and you was thankful, pulling your head up to see his eyes staring at you there was a fondness he gave a lopsided grin.

"Are you okay my love? Your very tearful tonight." You blinked shaking your head at him.

"I'm..C-Can I speak truthfully....without?.." he tensed as you trailed off, you wanted to speak freely without consequences. He mulled over the idea unsure if he should shoot you down, he decided against it if he halted you now you may never be honest with him again. He nodded to you giving you his undivided attention as he slowdance with you in the crowd. You took a deep breath unsure if it was the right time to have this conversation. He had given you permision but you will still be careful with your words.

"I'm confused... You confuse me Henry...Being here like this I..."You looked to the other couples wistfully then back to him.

"I want that...I want that love that freedom and...And I...We feel like a couple ,like we could be a normal couple like them ,but you frighten me, the things you say and do and I...I'm unsure of whats right and wrong now...Normal couples don't do what we do they dont threaten spanking's on dates!" he hummed in response mulling over your words for a few breaths, could everythinghave been his fault? You didnt understand the type of relationship he had with you therefor you dont know what he wants from you or what to expect, is that confusion why you were fighting so hard?

"I'd hoped you were finally accepting things now. I'm glad you were honest with me about being confused love and I'm proud of you. We feel like a couple because we are.... But normal? No we are not we are a bdsm couple, we live a bdsm lifestyle which suits both of us. Your mine and I am yours we are soulmates. You are just finally catching up to that and soon we will feel like this all the time, this happiness this relaxed and playful. I know its all still quite new now but soon you will be used to me being your lover, your daddy, your dominant ,your one and only and in time I will be your husband and father to your children. We will be like this for the rest of our lives. I apologize that I'm only just explaining this now and I can see why you were so reluctant and scared going form a normal vanilla and quite innocent relationship to being in this...very strict and quite demanding, sexually fueled one can be daunting. I was just so caught up wishing you would ajust quicker but matters of the heart can't be rushed and now I see that is what I was trying to do. I am content for now. Soon this will be normal, the jewellery the luxury anything you desire will be yours when you finally admit to loveing me back, when you succumb to your true feelings." He moved looking to the others around you then back to you smiling.

"You will be just as happy as them..If not more you will be the most treasured and spoilt woman in the city, the world even I promise and when that day comes you will make me the happiest man on the planet" he moved solidifying his statment with a kiss, a promise he words sounded like vows in itself. You sighed and pulled back he took a deep breath as you did.

"I'm trying I...Its a lot to take in and I'm glad I spoke to you...I think I understand a little more now...Your You dont mean to frighten me you just...Get excited? okay I can live with that...I've never been in love before its frightening" he smiled twisting you around pulling your back to his front holding you close placing a kiss to your shoulder.

"I know you are trying love, what do you think this is tonight? This is your reward for your week of good behaviour. I am patient I will wait for you neither of us are going anywhere. And in the end everything will be worth it you'll see" 

You stood stock still freezing as you looked out into the now full restaurant.You spoke as you cast your eyes to the male in the crowd. He was glaring at you making your chest go cold.No. What did he see? What will he think? You dropped you hands from henry's arms your breath was a whisper.

"Stephan?" Henry brought his head up abruptly going rigid he hands wrapping around your waist tighter almost painfull as if you was going to run to the other male. He looked around growling low and dangerous searching for him finally he honed in on him. Was hair dye all someone needed to bypass his men? He seethed as you trembled in his arms he held his breath. Moving closer to your ear.

"You want him? you want to run to him? Do you? You can I will let you but he will be dead before you touch him!" His words were a hot hiss in  your ear.

"No...I-I want him gone" the words were out befor you could catch them he hissed in your ear.

"Y-You what?" he turned you abruptly trying to sniff out a lie but you just held his gaze firm he swallowed his mouth going dry he covered his shock well then glared

"We will see...Come lets go see our dear Stephan shall we?" You tried struggled to keep up but he continued storming across the floor toward him. Henry half dragged half marched you through the dancing couples as you staggered in the stupid fucking shoes!. He turned to you slowly as you gained on Stephan who either bravely or stupidly stood his ground. Your heart beat faster tho you was unsure why you were worried but for who you couldn't say.

"Just remember our arrangement and he will leave here alive" you took a deep breath humming in response before hissing out an answer.

"I'm not leaving Henry" After what felt like an eternity to stood face to face with him, the one you could have seen yourself with on the arm of the man you were forced to be with.

"Y/n..." you looked to him blinking slowly 

"Leave" you had to do it, to send him away Henry would hurt him. You wasn't sure if you were just saying that or not, maybe you wanted to stay with Henry. But that was a thought for another day.You swallowed standing tall looking straight at him, you will not have this mans blood on your hands and you will not be used by him again you had enough sorting out your own shit and trying to figure out Henry at this point Stephan could go fuck himself you will forget him. 

Stephan, Fletcher and Henry all three were the cause of this. It was a mans game and youd somehow become a pawn for all three. You had to choose a side.

"Yes I think you should leave, this is reservation only I'm afraid." Henrys words had a bite to them anyone watching would assume Henry was just dealing with a gate crasher, no one other then the three of you would know how truley volatile the situation was.

"You? No..y/n I'm here for you! To take you back! Please I'm sorry give me one last chance? I love you baby I can't live with out you please?" You froze everything stopped what was he doing? What the fuck was he doing? Making a scene people watched as Stephan made a wild plea for you to take him back. He made a perfect storm, a brilliant and well thought out display.

Henry tensed holding you. You could feel it he wasn't prepared for this. Had Stephan just out witted the king himself in his own building. You held your breath unsure of what to do If he had was there a chance?. Could this be it? Your escape even if you didnt love stephan could you use this ruse to get away? To go into some form of witness protection?

"Ha! Honestly Stephan you think she hasn't heard?" You took a step back to Henry holding his wrist. No you wont take that chance not now. You have to settle, to just accept your lot with Henry for your own sanity. You had only moments ago realised where you stood and now had some understanding of what this was!. And if you was honest with your self you wasn't willing to trust Stephan he was to little to late.

"You've lost your job, your home everything! What could you possibly offer her? Safety? Please" you faltered at Henry's words were all but laughed out mocking. He lost his job? If so it wasn't safe you picked up on the hidden meaning to his words. You would not be safe. Stephan would not be safe. Not if you took this chance.

You placed a hand to Henry's chest and swallowed your throat closed up as tears sprang to your eyes. You looked stephan dead in the eye his face dropped. He knew. Before he could speak another word you gave your answer through trembling lips.

"I-I said leave! Your a liar! You played me I was a job Stephan and I will not be used again...Leave and don't ever come back. I-I'm with Henry now, we are happy and planning a future and I don't need you around trying to ruin what we have." You shuddered tears rolling down your face. Henry pulled you closer, you just hoped Stephan realized that you did this of our own accord, that henry was giving you a choice and the fact of the matter is you chose this beautiful dastardly man.You had to turn away from him tucking yourself into Henry's side.

"You heard the lady, she chose me now leave" 'while you can' those three words went without saying, hanging in the air. Stephan stood his ground trying to plead with you that he had somewhere to take you, somewhere safe but you just shook your head. 

"No! I dont want you! I dont need you! Im happy with how things are and I can't believe youxd do this after all this time?!" You were trying to get through that he was to late the damage was done and youd already made up your mind, your reasons were unclear even to you but he doesnt need to know that all he needed to know was that you were staying exactly where you were.

"But baby you don't understand I was trying-" you shook your head at him desperately wanting hi  to stop youd made your decision.

"Enough! Stephan...Ive moved on its to late now go! And dont ever look for me again!" You moved wanting those to be your final words. You turned your back on stephan and looked up to Henry and leaned in to him whispered below your breath.

"Make him leave, please daddy" Henry felt a warmth spread through him as you made the request. You wanted him to intervene to make this boy leave. He would definatly help, protect his babygirl. He acted quickly.

"Security! See to stephan here escort him out" you tore your head up watching as three men apprehended him dragging him through the space to the entrance whre he was destined after that you didn't know. You took a deep breath looking around slowly  everyones eyes were on you. Henry growled and snapped at them making the restaurant begin the nights festivities. You stood hugging him a few seconds more then pulled you back slowly.

"Good girl...Such a good girl you did the right thing. My little love. The right thing." He pulled you in pressing his lips against yours slowly not forcing anything just happy to let you remain there in his arms. He moved slowly escorting ou back to yur table where a waitress brought out your meal after a few moments.

After the incident you found it hard to relax and only did so once back home. The rest of the night was overshadowed by it dread rolled in your stomach Henry was tense. And that normally meant bad things for you. If henry was angry with you he hid it well through dinner and you both tried salvaging the evening in your own ways. But even hree slices of cheesecake couldnt lift your spirits completely.

Once in the house he slammed the front door it echoed down the halls. You flinched and turned to him But he bypassed you and shouted loudly into the house standing tall shoulders back he was itching for a fight ou could tell he wanted to break somehing. Someone.

"LUKE GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OUT HERE!" Within a few short moments Luke came running stuttering.

"Hen-Sir I didn't know but we have him in-" he was knocked clean off his feet as Henry swung for him. No warning nothing just one fast powerfull fist connecting with his jaw. You screamed jumping back, the commotion got kals attention as the huge dog came barreling in to the foyer barking and growling on the defensive. You ignored the usually sweet now frightening canine watching the scene before you unfold shaking head to toe. Youd never seen henry hit someone before...not like that, he meant that he wanted to cause real damage then.Once his victim was on the floor he crouched wagging a finger at him.

"Hair dye...Thats all he needed to avoid you....your really loosing your touch about as quickly as I'm loosing fucking patience....This fuck up, your fuck up ruined my night! What was supposed to be our first date down the fucking drain because you let it slip A-FUCKING-GAIN! I don't care where he is, infact I don't want you to tell me but you get the info out of him and release him...Do not kill him" Henry stood at his full height hissing looking to you then clenched his jaw. Brilliant! Fucking brilliant you were shaking in terror just how he wanted the fucking night to end! Not! He sighed running a hand acros his face then looked to the man still on the floor.

"Tell me that you've atleast set the room up for us and this night isn't a complete waste" the man on the floor nodded cupping his jaw that was hanging at a funny angle it looked broken. You tensed Henry was powerful muh more powerull then he looked.Henry sighed he didnt move he didnt want you to bolt.

"Love... I'm sorry I just...i know its scary but you know daddy would never ever hurt you...Not truley, please love stop looking at me like that... Could you come here please?....That's it good girl I'm sorry little one good girl just like that" you moved slowly past the man withering on the floor. And stood before Henry it took everything not to flinch from him as he moved to hold your waist and made his way to the stairs pulling you with him. You didn't fight him, you were scared stiff you doubted that even kal would protect you from his master. He walked you right up stairs to the bed room you winced seeing that things were out...Toys. He moved past you huffing and swearing leaving you to just stand and wait. He made his way into the bathroom tense he was angry, furious even. You shook unsure how to tread it had been a while since he was this angry and you wasn't sure who he was angry at. You, stephan or luke...You hoped it wasnt you.

You leaned on the dresser undoing the buckles on your shoes sighing once the sore soles of your feet hit the cool floor. You looked to the bed the sheets were changed. A dark purple satin with matching pillow cases a single black rose on your side of the bed and petals scattered about the place. It was romantic. Well until you saw the contraptions attached to the chair facing the bed which was intended for you to be placed upon. A large purple cilindrycal arch placed on the seat and..Well there was a very satisfying looking dildo sticking right up in the center and a small bobble textured silicone mat just in front of it, there were cuffs attached to the two back legs of the chair that would make the 'toy' take your weight you shivered unsure if you wanted to do this is he was in a mood. You shook your head best get to work calming him down.

You moved slowly to the bathroom he was hunched over the sink he looked up meeting your gaze in the mirror. you blinked moving behinde him hugging him from behind he froze in your arms hands still braced on the marble.

"Thank you daddy...tonight was fun even if he tried to ruin it" you pressed a kiss to his shoulder. He turned abruptly grasping your chin making you look in his eyes.

"You..you had fun..I thought you was upset?" you shook your head at him he sounded angry but you'd thought it was at you aparently not.

"Of course it was our first date...and we had our first dance I just...I wanted you to know that I'm greatfull" he blinked shaking you 

"LIES! How could you possibly? you wanted to go with him! to leave me! I LOVE YOU I FUCKING ADORE YOU AND YOU STILL WANT TO LEAVE ME! WHY? WHY DO YOU FUCK AROUND LIKE THIS? WHY DO YOU TRY TO MANIPULATE ME? MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ME IM YOUR LOVER YOUR SOULMATE! IS THAT NOT ENOUGH?!" you screamed struggling as his nails broke the skin of your arms."NO!-NO PLEASE I DIDN'T- I WASN'T PLEASE DADDY DON'T!" you cried out loud trying to grab him as he spun you around slamming you to the door making it close with a slam the sound ringing in your ear

"ADMIT IT! ADMIT TO ME WHAT YOU REALLY WANTED! YOU WANTED HIM YOU WANT HIM!" you shuddered as his eyes searched yours but found only tears you shook your head trying to pull back from him.

"P-ple-ease your hurting me..Daddy I'm here with you-I chose you. I-I want you daddy, pl-please let go" your crying seemed to get more out of control as you now struggled to speak breathing was difficult. He blinked your painfull whimpers cuting him deep as he realized he was the cause. It snapped him out of it as he saw that he had infact hurt you he let go taking heaving breaths. 

He expected you to run but all you did was stay still sobbing your heart out before him clutching your bleeding arms. he moved a hand to you you managed not to flinch but he could see it you wanted to. You wanted to run from him. He swore and quickly wrapped you in his arms.

"Oh my god my love, my heart I'm sorry..I'm so sorry love please shush its okay your okay...shh shh I'm sorry daddy is here, come here my baby..My sweet sweet girl" he pulled you close and just like that he was soothing you again rubbing your back. you trembled and clutched onto him sobbing he took a deep breath.

"I-I'm s-sorry But I didn't I didn't want to go...I wanted to stay with you...He lied he used me im here..I decided to stay with you" he closed his eyes he knew you were coming around. He was just so angry. At Luke at Stephan and at himself. He had fucked up from word one he knew that. This wasn't the plan. He had so desperatly wanted to make tonight THE night. The meal and danceing having fun then bring you back to a romantic room and make love to you. To get your consent, to toy with you untill you were dripping begging for him and finally. finally spend himself inside you. And wake up tomorrow morning with you wrapped around him happy. tonight was supposed to be the first night of the rest of your lives. the introduction to your new life.but now that seemed the last thing that was going to happen, after manhandeling you like that he was sure you were now going to try and reject him completely. that this whole shit show was going to set the relationship back a good few weeks. you looked up cutely blushing.

"The..The bedroom is sweet...I like the sheets and...And the roses its romantic" he smiled down at you seeing that you was trying to overcome the little spat. He hummed grinning rubbing his hands across your back slowly feeling you unwind.

"You did ,did you? well I shall remember that" you opened you mouth then closed it slowly

"What is it? you looked like you was going to ask something very important then little one" you shuddered squirming under his gaze he noted you rubbing your thighs together.

"W-what is that thing? I-in there on the chair?" he smiled at your innocence and began ushering you to move so he could open the door guiding you out.

"That my love is a gift..For you mostly but I will also get some enjoyment out of it..It is called a sybian...Just think of it as my little babygirls very own rocking horse." he chuckled noticing you froze on the spot, he pressed you forward making you take step towards it.

"It rocks?" Henry laughed moving you closer.

"No my little love it does not rock, I have no doubt however that you will be once your on it...Not tonight tho I've my outburst has ruined our night already" you blinked you couldn't help being curious of the thing you blinked tilting your head, you might aswell start enjoying yourself afterall tonight youd made it clear you was going to stay of your own accord maybe its time to just take a leap of faith.

"No I want a go...And you did say its mine and that youd spoil me tonight...I want to play on it" his jaw dropped. What? Were you seriously initiating sex? It was the first time you'd started anything or even showed any real interest. He gulped looking from you to the expensive vibrator then you again. Could him clarifying your relationship have caused this change? Or was there something more at work, were their feelings involved. He wasn't sure but not one to kick a gift horse in the mouth he smiled nodding making you blush brightly and move forward running the tips of your fingers over the slim dildo inspecting it naively. Oh yes the night was back on track and Henry couldn't be more thrilled.

[iridescentjin]

Dearly Beloved

Summary: Your friend from high school, Taehyung, helps you out when you need a wedding date.

Genre: SMUT and a little bit of fluff

Warnings: Masturbation, swearing, recreational alcohol use, oral sex (f. receiving), unprotected sex (plz use protection irl), spanking, some biting, dom!Taehyung, brat!reader

a/n: sorry Triv. sorry mom. If digital headstones are a thing by the time I die, please put this gif on mine. I listened to “Earned It” by The Weeknd the whole time I wrote all the nasty stuff.

Word Count: 6473

Your best friend is sweet and kind. She is the most generous person that you’ve ever met, and she can make you laugh harder than anyone on this planet. She has cradled you in her arms as you cried over boys, and, when your dad nearly died of cancer, she was there with you in the hospital every day, coffee in hand, ready to listen or just sit with you.

You take a deep breath through your nose and remind yourself of all of this. You love her more than pretty much anyone on this planet, but in this moment you have never wanted to slap her so much in the whole time you’ve known her.

She has been planning and preparing for her wedding for over a year, and the date is only two weeks away. The extravagance of it isn’t really your style, but she’s one of those people that has been dreaming of her wedding since she was a little girl. She has a vision. 

At this present moment, you are surrounded by small cuts of lumber, empty vases, fake greenery, and tea lights. Your job today is to assemble the centerpieces. You sit in the middle of the room on the floor, surrounded on all sides by your craft supplies. She is standing just outside your ring of accoutrements, crying and yelling. You aren’t totally sure what she’s yelling about. Seating arrangements? Maybe someone canceled? Honestly, at this point it’s unintelligible, so you decide it’s best to just let her carry on.

“And you!” you hear, clear as day.

You look up from your project and see her finger pointing toward wear you sit on the carpet. You look behind you, half expecting someone else to be there; you’ve done nothing but help. You turn back to her and barely raise a finger to point to yourself and raise your eyebrows in bewilderment. You mouth, “me?”

“Yes, you! Who else would it be? God.” You know she’s just stressed, so you take a deep breath and clench your fists around the fake greenery in your hands. “When we first started planning, you said you were gonna have a date, and I’m sorry things didn’t work with Yoongi, I really am, but now the seating arrangement is fucked and the whole entrance of the wedding party is fucked. It’s fucked, y/n. Could you just ask Yoongi to go with you?”

“Just ask Yoongi?” you spit back, “You want me to ask the man who broke my heart? Tore it into a million little pieces, who is, mind you, already going to be at the wedding because he’s friends with your future husband, to be my date? So...what? So I can get my hopes up again when he’s nice to me, because of course he will be, and get my heart smashed again? Oh but your seating arrangement will be good, so I should just suck it up. Right. Sure.”

You’re standing now, having spilled tea lights all over the floor with the sudden movement. You are breathing heavily, fists clenched at your side, tears threatening to burst from your eyes. Things didn’t work out when you had told your workaholic boyfriend, Yoongi, that you wanted to get more serious, maybe move in together and consider marriage. You don’t think he meant to laugh at you, but he did laugh when you brought it up. He said that it was clear the two of you wanted different things, and he ended it with you. You clearly aren’t over him yet, and she knew that.

Your friends face softens for a moment. You can see the reality of what she said smoothing her features.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m just so stressed…” she trails off.

“Look, you want me to get a date? I’ll get a fuckin’ date. But I will not be caught dead on Min Yoongi’s arm.” You turn on your heel and let yourself out of her house, slamming the door behind you.

When all the rage fades, you realize what you’ve said that you’re going to do. You also realize that you left all centerpieces unassembled in the middle of the floor. You call your best friends mom and ask her to go over and finish them.

“I am already on my way over there, sweetie. But did I hear right that you are going to get a date for the wedding? Where?” she asks, genuinely concerned.

You know she isn’t trying to be hurtful but c’mon, I know guys! You think to yourself. I know so many guys. I know...Yoongi for one, and Hobi. Granted Hobi is marrying my best friend in two weeks. I know….oh! Jungkook! Jungkook will totally go with me!

“I know guys!” you respond to her with excitement in your voice. “I actually have to call the guy that I’m asking right now though, so I’ll talk to you later. Thanks again for doing the centerpieces.”

As you hang up, you quickly scroll through the names on your phone until you land on Jeon Jungkook. You tap out the message on your screen quickly and send it away.

You: Hey JK! I was hoping you might be able to accompany me to a wedding in two weeks. It’s out of town, so hotel. All expenses paid. Huh?

You put your phone down feeling optimistic. Jungkook loves to dance, and he’s a fun guy. Not only does he seem like a living human male who will go with you, you actually don’t hate the idea of going together with him. The excitement doesn’t last long.

Jeon Jungkook: y/n! Hey! I wish I could, but I’ll be back home in Busan. I’m so sorry!

You: No prob, buddy. I’ll go with Yoongi 😬

Jeon Jungkook: No! I won’t let you do that! He broke your heart. Let me give you hyung’s number. You remember Tae? From high school? He’s cool, and he’s free (he just asked me to make plans that weekend). Hit him up.

He sends you the contact. Kim Taehyung. You stare at the number for a long time before you type up a text, and you stare at the text for even longer before you send it.

You: Hi Taehyung, this is y/n. JK gave me your number, and he said you might be free in two weeks to be my date to a wedding. Nothing weird or anything! I just can’t go alone, and if I don’t bring a date, my friend is going to make me go with my ex. It’s a long story. Anyway, it is out of town, but your hotel and all your food and stuff would be paid for. Just let me know.

You exhale a deep breath after you hit send. You hope it doesn’t sound too weird or desperate or anything even though you are definitely both weird and desperate. 

Kim Taehyung: sure! I’m always down for an adventure.

You breathe a sigh of relief. Which is short-lived when you realize you don’t know anything about Taehyung anymore. You ran in the same circle in high school, connected by your mutual closeness to Jungkook. You text him back asking him to meet you for coffee, so you can go over the plan. The two of you decide to meet that afternoon, and the anxiety in your chest begins to loosen just a tiny bit. 

….

When you get to the coffee shop, you find a spot by the window in the big squashy chairs. You order yourself a latte and play on your phone, waiting for Taehyung. You hear someone softly clear their throat, and your eyes scan the figure in front you. You don’t mean to give him the up-and-down, you really don’t. But the man standing in front of you is not the same Taehyung you remember. You remember a scrawny boy with too much eyeliner (yikes) trying to act like a man while still dealing with all his teenage emotions.

Before you stands, perhaps, the hottest man you’ve ever seen. He is tall, taller than he was when you last saw him, and he is fuller too. He is no longer gangly and awkward. He has broad shoulders, firm pecs, and toned arms that you can see straining against the fabric of his tight black shirt. His black hair is long and messy, and tendrils hang down into his eyes. He has a smile on his face when your eyes finally meet his.

“Hi, y/n! It’s been so long!” he exclaims as he reaches out and pulls you into a hug.

You are shocked by the sudden touch and hesitate to put your arms around him. Even while he holds you for a moment with your arms at your sides, you feel comforted and safe. He smells like lavender and chamomile mixed with something else - maybe just his own skin.

When he lets you go, he looks a little embarrassed and backs up into his chair across from yours.

The two of you catch up about what you’ve been up to since high school: college, careers, failed relationships. You tell him all about what happened with Yoongi, but you don’t mention that you’re not over it yet. He tells you that his ex-girlfriend cheated in a one night stand with a girl at a club, and he had been pretty broken up about it.

You set your plans for leaving to get to the wedding early together. You have to be there on Thursday night because the bachelorette party was Friday and the wedding was on Sunday. He agrees, and you say goodbye to one another, this time without the hug. 

****

Thursday afternoon you are packing your bags making sure that you have everything when your phone rings. It’s your best friend, so you take a deep breath before you answer it, trying to stay as calm as possible since she is a total mess. “Good morning, my beautiful best friend and soon-to-be bride,” you say in a syrupy tone that she knows is facetious.

“I have bad news,” she huffs and without pausing she continues, “we booked the hotel when you and Yoongi were still together. So we only booked one room for you and Yoongi. So now Yoongi doesn’t have a room, and your date...Tae or whatever...doesn’t have a room either. And I know that I’m being insensitive right now, but you and Yoongi breaking up is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.”

She’s definitely crying and spiraling. “I mean...it wasn’t great for me either,” you attempt to joke, but she just sobs harder.

“Okay, okay. It’s fine. Yoongi will just stay with Hobi until Sunday, then on Sunday, you and Hobi are going to stay together anyway, yeah? So that problem is solved. As for Tae...I’ll talk to him, okay? No big deal,” you console her, unsure what you’re going to say to Tae.

She lets out a long sigh, but her crying seems to be evening out. “You’re right. Okay.” You finish the phone call and send a text to Tae.

You: So...funny story...youandihavetoshareahotelroomnowsorryokaybye

You toss your phone aside and finish packing your bags. As you are loading up the car, Tae pulls up. He looks just as good as he did the other day, wearing a loose t-shirt and gray sweatpants. He’s carrying a single leather duffle bag, and he has a huge smile on his face. He almost looks like he’s laughing.

The drive is only three hours, but it is long enough to be boring. You’re glad that you have company, and you and Tae crank up the radio singing along and laughing. You play car games together, and it is an overall good time.

When you get to the hotel, you are a little unsure of what to do or how to handle sharing a room with Tae. You slide the key in the door to the hotel room and exhale in relief when you see there are two beds in the room. You each take up your side and start to settle in.

When it’s time for you to get changed for bed, you awkwardly shuffle to the bathroom to change. Even though you normally just sleep in your underwear and a t-shirt, you put on a whole pajama get up because you aren’t sure how modest you should be with Tae.

When you come out, he’s scrolling through his phone. He looks up at you and gives you that warm, gentle smile again. How does he look so good just sitting on his bed playing on his phone?

“Hey, uh, so I usually just sleep in my underwear...but I can keep a shirt on if you want,” he says casually to you.

“Oh, uh, I mean, whatever you’re comfortable with. I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable on my behalf, seeing how you’re doing me a favor,” you ramble out.

You wish you said no. As soon as it happens, you really wish you’d told him to keep on a shirt and a parka and snow pants and maybe also a ski mask. To say he is hot is the understatement of the century. His toned honey toned skin is smooth across his chest, taut over his muscles. His boxer briefs sit low on his hips, and your eyes follow the curve of his muscles from his stomach down past his waistline. 

You watch the muscles on his back flex as he climbs into bed. You lay your head back on the pillow, staring at the ceiling. What the fuck is happening? you think to yourself. You try to blink the images of his nearly naked body out of your head, but they are there even as you eventually fall asleep.

*********

All day Friday you help set up for the wedding. Tae comes by and helps for a while, and, when it’s time for the bachelorette party, he says he’s going to go find something to do in town. The girls all go out, drink, and celebrate your best friend. 

After the bachelorette party, you are feeling light and drunk and, for the first time in a while, you feel your shoulders relax. You say goodbye to the other girls in the lobby of the hotel and head to your room.

When you get there, there’s only one lamp on, and the room is empty besides your bags. You are painfully aware of the silky material of your dress against your skin, especially without a bra on. You feel so hyper-sensitive with the alcohol coursing through your veins. You skate your fingertips up your arms and across your collarbone. You feel yourself soaking your panties, and your nipples are hard against the silky material.

Your head isn’t totally clear, and you slide the straps of your dress off and let it pool on the floor around your feet. You stand in the middle of the floor in nothing but your panties and your heels for a moment, barely touching your skin on your neck and down your chest and belly.

You lie back on the bed, fuzzy head telling you to take care of it. You lick your fingers and take one of your nipples between your index finger and thumb. You feel your hips buck a little bit, feet, still in your heels, planting on the bed. With the way your feet are planted, your legs are open wide, and, if you weren’t wearing underwear, your pussy would be on full display. You bring your hand down to your panties. You run your fingers along the waistband before passing your hand over your covered folds, barely applying any pressure. You have decided to take it slow. You haven’t been with anyone since Yoongi, and you have been too busy to even consider masturbating. Now, you have the time, and you are soaking through your panties. 

You close your eyes, and you see the way that Tae’s shirt fits across his chest, the way the rolled up sleeves accentuated his biceps, the way that his sweatpants yesterday left nothing to the imagination. You see the way his bare chest is broad and smooth, the way his underwear sit on his hips, bulge prevalent. You imagine the way he smelled when he’d pressed you into his chest. You want to drown in his smell. 

You slide your hand into your underwear, drawing languid circles on your clit, sliding your finger through your arousal and back up to your clit. You feel like you are not in control of what your body is doing and small moans start to slip out of your mouth. You feel “Tae” come off your lips over and over.

“What?” you hear from near the door, but you think it might be coming from outside of the room and can’t process its proximity because the things you are doing are overwhelming you.

A whimper that turns into a yelp followed by “oh my god” comes from within the room, and your eyes snap open. Tae is standing at the end of the bed, eyes wide, mouth open, frozen in place.

You scream and try to get up from the bed quickly, but you are drunk and wearing heels, and you lose your balance. Instead of getting away from him, you stumble toward him. He throws his arms out to catch you, steadying you as your mostly naked body presses against him. And you are mortified, but the scent of him makes your pussy clench. In that instance, you’re a little angry that you didn’t get to finish.

“Are you okay? How drunk are you? I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to...I just...we’re both in here. I didn’t know. That’s my bed, by the way. But that’s neither here nor there. Are you okay?” he rambles, trying not to look at you.

You pull away from him quickly covering your chest as you run over to the other side of the room to grab a t-shirt and sweatpants. You throw the shirt over your head, and, as you try to put on the sweatpants, you realize you’re still wearing the goddamn heels. You throw them off as quickly as you can and pull the sweatpants on. When you look up from your panicked clothing debacle, Taehyung is looking anywhere but at you.

“Tae...I’m sorry. I’m just...I’m-I’m drunk, and I’m horny. I’ll go stay somewhere else.”

“Wait no…” Tae starts, but you are gone before he can even finish. You go to your best friend’s room, and she welcomes you in. When you tell her what happened, she laughs hard, pretty drunk herself. You agree to not talk about it any further.

*********

Besides avoiding Taehyung, the next day and half go by smoothly. You are busy setting up for the wedding. The hairstylist and makeup artist take care of you before the wedding, and your friend’s mom brings your dress and shoes to you. You haven’t had to go back to your room for anything, but you are dreading sitting next to Tae at the reception. The dread is briefly overshadowed by the love and pride that you have for your best friend and Hobi during the ceremony.

The ceremony goes off seamlessly, and you are so happy for your friends that you forget for a little while to be embarrassed. When it’s time for the reception, you realize that you have to enter with Tae for the processional. He meets you by the doors, looking pretty annoyed. He doesn’t say anything to you, and he just offers you his elbow when it’s time for you to enter the banquet hall. You walk in holding his arm, faking a smile, and take your seats at the table, followed by the remaining bridesmaids with their dates.

Throughout dinner, Tae continues to ignore you. You think to yourself if anyone should be avoiding anyone, it’s me avoiding him, but you don’t say anything to him. At one point he gets up to go to the bathroom, and you sit alone, pushing your food around your plate.

“Is this seat taken?” you hear from an all too familiar voice. You force yourself to look up into his eyes, and Yoongi is staring back down at your with a smirk on his face. You don’t have the words to respond, so you just stare at him for a moment.

A deep voice from behind you says, “yeah, actually it is,” and then you feel a hand on your shoulder. Oh, so now he wants to pay attention to me. His hand feels like it’s burning your skin, and you want to lean into it.

“Oh sorry, man. It didn’t seem like you guys were together,” Yoongi says, confused but still confident.

“Yeah, well, we are. Why don’t we go dance, y/n?” Tae hisses through his teeth.

“I’m kind of talking to Yoongi right now,” you say to him.

“Yeah, that’s all good, but I really like this song. So come dance with me,” he insists, pulling your wrist a little.

“Yeah...okay fine,” you mumble as you take your napkin out of your lap. Yoongi is looking at you dumbfounded, and you shrug and follow Tae to the dance floor. He pulls you in and presses his body fully against yours. Is this some kind of weird possessive shit?

“So you’re going to ignore me all night and then get pressed when Yoongi tries to talk to me?” you snap, annoyed.

“First of all, you left me alone in that hotel room for two days, so who’s really ignoring whom? Why can’t you, for once, just be a good girl and do what I say?”

You can’t deny that the expression “good girl” coming from his mouth does something to you, but you are already heated. “Oh, yes sir. I’ll be the goodest girl because you just dragged me over here and are being an ass, so I better be good for you. Fuck off,” you spit at him, rolling your eyes.

“Well, you told me how Yoongi broke your heart. And you weren’t gonna tell him to get lost, so I did you a favor. You should be thanking me,” he spits out.

“What’s your deal, Tae? It’s not like we’re actually dating or anything.”

You swear he growls in his chest a little bit, then he spins you before pulling you back into his body. “Well, maybe I want to be,” he mutters.

Before you have a chance to talk, the MC comes on and asks everyone to clear the floor for all the first dances, father dances, mother dances, second-cousin dances. It goes on for so long that you decide to return to the table, and Taehyung follows you. You sit down, fully prepared to demand an explanation from him when the photographer comes up to your table.

“Can I get a picture of you two?” she asks with a bright smile.

You can’t bring yourself to say no to her cheeriness, so you agree, doing your best to smile for the camera.

“You know what would be really cute?” the photographer starts, and you feel the dread building in your chest, “if you sat in his lap.”

Oh my gods, ugh. You are incredibly annoyed, but you know that this innocent woman doesn’t understand the very weird situation going on. So you, once again, reluctantly agree. You climb into Taehyung’s lap, and the energy immediately feels different. He clears his throat behind you and slides his arms around your waist. While the photographer tries to get a better angle (why is she taking so long!?), Taehyung starts to slide his hand down your thigh.

“I heard you,” he whispers to you, smile still stretched across his face. “I heard you say my name. You can’t act like you don’t want me. I heard you.”

“What are you talking about?” you ask defiantly, knowing exactly what he’s talking about.

“You know what I’m talking about. You said my name. I’ve wanted you since the day I met you. I had such a big crush on you in high school, but you were oblivious. Now, you see me. Now, you want me. I heard you.”

As the photographer walks away, you don’t try to get up. You just shift a little in his lap. With the movement you can feel, very clearly, as if there was hardly any fabric between you at all, the outline of his cock, half-hard against your ass.

“Are...are you not wearing underwear, Tae?” you ask, feeling flustered, face hot.

“I tell you I heard you say my name while you were touching yourself on my bed. And you ask if I’m wearing underwear. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to take advantage of me,” he professes with a smirk.

You look around frantically to make sure no one heard him, but your head snaps back to look at him when you feel his fingers teasing the hem of your dress against your thigh. You can feel the movement causing a rush between your thighs, and you can’t focus on anything except the way his hand feels on your skin.

“Tae…” you whisper, trailing off.

“Say it, y/n. Say you want me.”

“We can’t do this here, Tae. There are so many people here,” you say looking around at all of your friends, who you would be mortified if they found Tae with his hand in your dress.

“If you say that you want me right now, I’ll take you upstairs, and I’ll fuck you like you deserve to be fucked,” he whispers, letting his hot breath run over your ear.

Shit. Shit. Am I doing this? Fuck it.

“Tae, I want you...right now,” you practically moan.

With that, he’s up out of his seat, adjusting his pants. He ushers you out of the hall with his hand on the small of your back. You clamber into the elevator, and, when the door shuts, he is all over you. His mouth is on your ear and your neck, your collarbone and the curve of your shoulder, you chest and the upper swell of your breast. He’s kissing every exposed inch like he’s been poisoned and the only antidote is in your skin.

The elevator door opens on your floor, and the two of your practically run to your room. He slides the key card in and flings the door open. He kicks it closed behind you, and he takes off his tie and begins unbuttoning his shirt. He turns around to look at you, lacing his fingers in the hair on the back of your head down to the nape of your neck. He’s big eyes are peering into yours, searching your face.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks in a deep rasp.

“Tae, you’ve already kissed my whole chest. Yes,” you say back with a bite to your tone. You can’t help but want to contradict him and push his buttons.

He smashes his lips into yours, a deep, hungry kiss. All of his annoyance and frustration seems to come out with his kiss too. He nips your bottom lip and pulls it a bit before letting it going. He goes right back to you, forcing his tongue into your mouth.

“Are you going to be a good girl for me now?” he asks when he pulls away.

“I don’t know,” you tease. “I guess we’ll have to see.”

“How is ‘babygirl?’ Is that okay with you?” he asks looking into your eyes again.

“Babygirl is fine,” you reply, “but I’m not your good girl.”

He growls at you from his chest, scrunching his nose. You feel the tension in your stomach building and you know that your panties are useless at this point they are so soaked. He leans into you, reaching around your back, unzipping your dress. You shimmy it off your body, letting it pool on the floor around your feet, just like you had down two days before.

You runs his fingertips across your skin from your collarbones over your breasts, gently catching your nipples, down your stomach, across the waistband of your underwear. He bends his knees, setting one on the floor, and he keeps tracing his fingers down your thighs, over your knees, and around your ankles. He presses his mouth to your hip and your thigh while he caresses the inside of your legs up to your thigh and back down to your ankle. Then he pulls the strap off both of your ankles from your shoes and pulls them off your feet. Your skin feels like it’s on fire with every touch from Tae’s fingers, and you feel your pussy clench around nothing with every move he makes. 

While still on his knee, Tae looks up at you through his lashes. He asks in a commanding tone, “Babygirl, if you need me to stop you just say red, okay?” And you nod.

“Now, are you going to be good for me while I lick your pussy?”

Your breath catches, and your heart pounds in your chest. “I don’t want to be good,” you sass, voice hoarse already.

His teeth bite down on the skin of the inside of your thigh. “Are you talking back to me, babygirl?”

You are too stunned to come up with anything clever, so you just nod.

He bites down again on your other thigh. “Use your words,” he commands.

You are so wet and so overwhelmed. He is too much for you already. “Yes, I was talking back to you,” you pant out.

He stands up from between your thighs, and you feel remiss that you let your brattiness get in the way of having him licking you. He whispers, “you’re being a bad girl.”

You stick your tongue out at him in response, unable to stop yourself. His hand comes up to your chin and holds your head so you have to look him in the eye. “Look at me,” he demands. “You better start behaving, you little monster.”

For some reason, him calling you a little monster does something to you. You don’t know if you’ve ever been this turned on. “I’ll be good. I’m sorry.”

You lean to kiss him, and he catches your lips in another bruising kiss.

“Lie down on the bed and take your underwear off,” he says as he stands back from you, palming himself through his pants, seeking some relief. 

Once you’re in position, he pushes your legs up, so your knees are bent. You are in the same position that you were just two days ago when he walked in on you. He whispers so pretty, then kisses gently on your clit and down your folds. He barely slides his tongue into your pussy, then drags it all the way up you, collecting your arousal on his tongue.

“So wet for me, babygirl.”

He takes his tongue and draws slow, steady circles on your clit while he brings his hand to your entrance and slides too fingers in. He immediately pushes them all the way in without letting you adjust, then he curls them upward. His lips wrap around your clit, and he sucks.

You groan beneath him. He feels like he knows exactly what your body wants and needs. He is intuitive to your body, and your head is swimming. Your skin is burning, and your hips start to buck, even as he uses one hand to try to still you.

“Tae, I’m going to cum,” you gasp.

“No, you aren’t,” he says against your clit, “you’ll cum when I tell you to cum. And do you know why?”

You shake your head, back arching up off the mattress.

“This pussy is mine. Your orgasms belong to me, understood?”

“Yes,” you whine, “please, Tae…”

“Say it,” he commands for the second time tonight.

You moan as he continues his unforgiving ministrations with his fingers and his tongue. “Fine. This pussy is yours. My orgasms belong to you.”

“Good girl,” he whispers and pulls his fingers out of you and pulls his mouth away.

“No, no,” you whine at the lost of contact

“You better start being good, babygirl. You better start showing me that you deserve to cum.”

You really don’t mean to say it, but your bratty side comes out again. You look him in the eye and defiantly say, “Make me,” crossing your arms over your chest.

He leans over your body and picks you up, flipping you over easily. He commands you to get on your hands and knees.

“I’m going to punish you, babygirl. Do you remember the word to say if it’s too much?”

“I remember, yes.” You crawl onto your hands and knees and push your ass toward him, taunting him. You have your legs spread, and with the way you have put your head down on the mattress, your pussy is on full display for him. He can see how slick you are for him and because of him. You can feel how swollen your clit is, and all you want is for him to touch you again. Instead, he brings his hand down with a smack on your ass. You hiss from the sting, but you feel yourself growing wetter somehow. You moan and push your ass further back toward him. He lands four more spanks on the same cheek, and it stings as he rubs his hand over the spot. He presses his lips to the tender spot, and then he presses his lips against your wet pussy before pulling away. 

You try to bite back the whine that is trying to escape your chest. You turn to look at Tae over your shoulder, and you should have just kept looking forward. His pupils are huge, and his hair looks like he’s been running his hand through it. His lips are swollen, and his cheeks are pink. You let out a moan at the sight of him. Desperate to cum.

“Please, Tae. Please let me cum,” you beg, feeling like you might cry.

“Turn around, baby girl,” he says a little more gently than his last commands.

You turn around, and he steps up right in front of you as you sit on the end of the bed. He puts his fingers on your chin again and angles your head up to him. He presses a gentle kiss to your mouth, and then he grabs your hands and brings them to his belt. You can see the outline of his cock through his tight black pants. You have never wanted a cock more in your life than you want his right now.

You unbutton his pants, and the flesh of his dick is right inside the zipper. So he wasn’t wearing underwear. You push his pants down, and he steps the rest of the way out of them. He takes his cock in his hand and strokes it. You look up into his eyes to wait for him to tell you what to do.

“Lie down, babygirl,” he says, and you immediately obey.

His eyes flash with realization for a moment. “I don’t have a condom,” he says in panic, his breathing quickening.

“It’s fine. Are you clean? I’m fine. Birth control. Just fuck me raw,” you can’t think and words are tumbling past your lips.

“I am clean. You’re on birth control? You’re clean?” he asks, slightly more coherent than you are.

“Yes to both. Fuck me raw, Tae, please,” you beg. You feel desperate and crazy.

He pulls your hips to the end of the bed, still standing in front of you. He drags his cock through your arousal, getting his dick slick before he presses against your entrance. He pushes slowly into you, and you feel every millimeter of him exploring every millimeter of you. You let out a loud guttural moan as he continues to push all the way in. He brings his thumb to your clit and pushes messy circles there, and you clench around his dick.

“Fuck, babygirl, you can’t do that. I’m not gonna last long anyway,” he says as he draws himself slowly back out of you and pushes back in slowly.

“Tae…” you pant.

“I know, babygirl. You have to hold on though. Remember your orgasm is mine.”

He starts to thrust in and out of you more urgently. He’s panting, hair falling into his eyes. His breath is ragged as he continues to rub unforgiving circles on your clit. He pushes his hair back with his one free hand, and his tongue darts out to lick the corner of your mouth. You feel yourself careening toward the edge, and you don’t want to disappoint Tae but also can’t stop it. You pant out his name again.

“Cum for me baby girl,” he whispers as he bites your ear lobe, thrusts becoming erratic. You tumble over the edge, warmth filling your stomach as your pussy clenches around him, and your mind goes black as your eyes pinch shut and all of your muscles contract. You let out a low, loud moan, and Tae is crashing like a wave too. He cums hard and moans a long moan, filling you with cum and continuing to fuck it up into you. His hips only stop when you have regained your senses enough to open your eyes.

After he pulls out of you, he disappears for a second. He returns with a warm washcloth. He sets to work cleaning you and then himself. He takes the towel back to the bathroom, and then climbs into bed next to you. “What can I do to take care of you, babygirl?” he asks, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“I want to cuddle you, and maybe watch The Grinch,” you respond in a sleepy voice.

He gets you both under the covers, then pulls your body close to his. “I’ll try to find it, but we might have to watch something else,” he explains as he grabs the remote and flicks on the TV.

“Hey Tae?” you say after you settle on watching HGTV.

He hums in response and pulls his eyes from the screen to look at you. “Can we like...go on a date soon?” you ask, suddenly nervous even though you’re both naked, cuddled in a post sex cocoon.

“I want nothing more than that...and we probably should since your pussy is already mine anyway,” he smiles a huge smile and presses kisses to your temple, cheek, and jawline. You snuggle back in and eventually fall asleep wrapped in one another.

[frankensteindotpdf]

Jon’s TGWDLM Livestream

I offered to write out all of Jon’s answers in his q&a (not verbatim, just a summary but also it got a little long, sorry for that) so here it is! sorry if there’s typos, i wrote this at 2am lmao i put most of the qs in bold

it was hard not to kiss jeff in WDYWP, especially because his face was so close (great way to start it off)

“Sing the beginning of Moana wasnt improvised”

He loves Not Your Seed and Show Stopping Number

His favourite piece of fanart is one of the first ones with red paul blue paul (in let it out) and he had it as his homescreen for a while

he got into starkid by doing Power Prom with jeff and lauren, (as well as another show with jeff and another with quite a few of the starkids) and then they asked him if he was interested in auditioning and he sent in a video audition and tah dahhh

if he could play any other character from tgwdlm it’d be hidgens (though he says part of the reason he loves hidgens so much is because robert did such a good job fleshing him out)

“how close are you and jeff” “uhh who’s jeff?”

paul’s job was originally gonna be a movie critic (buzzfeed-esque) (and at one point in WDYWP they brought up how he was reviewing a Hamilton movie musical-which was, incidentally, his fav deleted bit) but it ended up being at a customer service center “but most of the time he fixes printers and plays on the internet”

jaime helped out with some of the lyrics to CORC/COPC because she’s a barista

his fav memory with the cast was before shows and one time when they hung out after the show at a diner

his fav line that almost made him break every time was “Latte hottay...my wife...yknow like borat, dude” (it made him break a couple of times but he was always walking off stage like right as he said it)

he really liked the line “we’ll make a jammin’ cup of java, mocha latte with the froth for you, jack, frappuccino!” he just thought the wordplay was real good

fav joke was probs the moana bit (he broke a couple of times there too)

fav song was Show Stopping Number (and he said the way the songs flow when you’re listening to it on the album is so good)

he never found it boring to go to rehearsals because James and Lauren are such good choreographers and all the actors are so good at singing and dancing he got to watch them perform all the time and he really enjoyed it (how pure)

his reaction to hearing the show’s plot was “hell yeah, this is gonna be so much fun”

when he first heard let it out he was stoked because in high school he had tried performing Confrontation from Jekyll and Hyde with just a boom box so no one could actually hear the music and it didnt go well so he felt like that song was letting him redeem himself

his fav moment from the show’s run was the first show because they were so stressed because it was the first time they went all the way through the show with tech and music and it went really well “It was magical. we were all,like, on this adrenaline endorphin high and, uh, it was awesome.”

fav character from any starkid show is either nick playing robin or nick playing obi wan from Ani (he’s seen the scene where obi wan walks into the bar “probably a million times” because he loves the timing and the dry humour) but also nick gage as sultan from Twisted

fav moment to watch in the show was the part after Not Your Seed when the aliens were trying to talk at the same time

“would i have wanted to sing more? no, because i got to sing these two awesome songs” Let It Out was really fun to do but also daunting, and in Inevitable he got to sing parts of the other songs

no real mishaps with the blood capsules, just getting fake blood all over his face and shirt (but that was fine cuz it made him look like more of a badass in the next scene, as long as he remembered not to wipe it off)

fav line that he said? “ok”

“will i ever make my own version of Love Never Dies?” he wants to be in a musical about death (more of a “silly fun romcom”) and thinks that concept has so much potential

he’s inspired by The Adventure Zone and that’s where he got the name Travis from (idk what he’s talking about being inspired about, he never really says)

if paul drank the coffee, he would have been infected

there were no pranks, but

before one of the last shows he was rehearsing outside and he “stepped in human poop” like 20 minutes before he had to go on (he threw out the shoes ofc and luckily a member of the band had extra shoes that fit)

general advice? “number 1 surround yourself with people who love and support you and that you trust and you like to have a lot of fun with 2 if you can develop a skill that you l can support yourself when you’re not working, develop that skill, its really important just so you can put food on the table and also you’ll hear a ton of advice and there are a lot of training programs about how to act and how to sing but find whatever works for you...understand the character and do whatever you can to remove tension” (that was a lot lmao but i thought it was good advice)

there were lots of little improvised bits in the show but his fav was trying to figure out what he and emma were gonna say when they were going through the alleys

before every show they’d put their arms around each other and make a one word story (i can explain the game if you dont know what it is)

paul still wants a carpet

the starkid actor he’d want to play paul (if it wasnt him) would be brosenthal or brolden

fav food is “fuh”?  im sorry im a dummy ive heard of it but i cant spell it but yeah he likes it cuz it hydrates you and it’s delicious

he doesnt know the “alexa play despacito” meme

he’d love to speak mandarin (and do a film in china, he’s never been)

paul cant hear the background music when the aliens sing

his fictional band would be named either Territorial Fashionistas, The Light Quixotic, or Immortal Bond

fav fan moment was with a fan who had just had a really bad breakup which reminded of himself and how being true to yourself is more important than staying with your partner

dark mode looks cooler on his phone so he likes it best

in songs where he got to watch others singing and dancing, he was smiling on the inside and the fact that he couldnt sing or dance for most of the musical was made up for by the songs he did get to 

MY QUESTION!! (yes, i screamed) “Why did Paul offer bill and mr.davidson a ‘nice caramel frappe, nothing better’ when he only ever ordered black coffee?” he’s gotten them for Bill before cuz it’s his favourite, and he was just saying anything to try to get away from mr.davidson

he knows the lyrics to Moana because he secretly loves musicals after having watched so many with Alice growing up, but he wont even admit it to himself “he says he likes hamilton way more than mamma mia, so, yknow. he has an opinion”

he hopes it’ll come to chicago but he doesnt know if it will

his fav musical is a tie between Chess and Little Shop of Horrors

the backstage was really nice

he was honoured to have lauren spit on him

he was, of course, sad when it was over (but he’s stoked to move to LA)

finally, in the ending he revealed what his decision was for the end with paul, but i think it’s better expressed through a gif so check out: https://showstoppinnumber.tumblr.com/post/182153650669/theguywhodidnotlikemusicals

that was so long haha sorryyy i didnt wanna leave out anything. it was fun! hope you enjoy it, @realshowstopper!! if y’all have any qs hmu

[carolightpenvenys]

LIVE POLDARK REACTS S4E2

a/n: sorry this is up so late! i always do the gifs the morning after but i have been working straight shifts this whole week so i can only do it now!!!! love u all and pls tell me ur reacts!!!! xxx

omfg JEREMY SPEAKS 

omg i can’t believe falmouth thinks hugh will survive this :( i feel bad for him rlly

omg george cmon why do i lowkey want him to win the election

omg that shade on choake i fuckin CHOKED

HELLO EVERYONE JUST TO SAY I NOW IDENTIFY AS AN ENYS PENVENEN OFFSHOOT

hello meet cornwall’s hottest new boyband the RESURRECTION BOYS someone pls photoshop this

sam is so in love with emma it’s sad bc i just want him to love me apologies to my boyfriend

caroline here to save the day and clean up demelza’s mess

omg ossie and george what a REVOLTING DUO

omg is caroline meddling in politics

LORD FALMOUTH IS HERE

why is the wrestling match the most exciting plot we have had this season

omg i can’t believe homegirl caroline has set up this amazing opportunity for demelza to meddle in politics

i love this CHARITABLE CAUSE AWHHHHHHHHH

ross and dwight i don’t like it when my daddies fight

there is SO much dwight content 

ross teaching sam how to fight THIS IS MY FIGHT SONG

look i know sam wants to impress emma but like fr tho him and tom harry wiuldn’t even be in the same weight class

ooh some mum porn of ross in the bath

wtf a totem pole where are we 

morwenna going to church like I WANNA CHURCH GIRL WHO GOTO CHURCH

i don’t mean to be rude but they’re rlly dragging out hugh’s inevitable death lol

i love COUSIN ELIZABETH AND MORWENNA AN ICONIC DUO

i hope dwight’s bought his needle and thread too caroline hun him stitching up sam is the ultimate NUT

omg tom harry is so greasy and gross i am literally REPULSED.

WHT DO U MEAN EMMA HAD SEX WITH TOM HARRY

omg STOP JEREMY AND VALENTINE PLAYING TOGETHER ZKD;FLJSAF;JRAEGJO;AERJGIGHOEHGIEHIGHOIEJROIGE

omg morwenna is on the beach alone perchance will drake turn up

well would u look at that

how can ossie not see drake from where hes standing lol

oh tom harry truly is grim isn’t he

I AM GONNA CRY HE NO LONGER NEEDS HIS SERVICE

some more dwight am i the winner of the dwight lottery or something

i just disssociated even tho it was a dwight scene bc it’s all abt hugh WHERE IS MY PENVENYS I NEED THE DAMN PENVENYS

lmao tho how did hugh’s death become all abt ross and his political career

lmao ross finding out demelza meddled and being happy for his woman. do i respect ross? find out next time

omg uncle whatshisname is back I LOVE HIM

also how nice is that house 

oh my fuckin god did basset just................. not let him in

omg hugh is so CRINGE boy no

so ross IS RUNNING FOR PARLIAMENT

OH MY GOD HE SAW THE LETTER HUGH GAVE HER

it’s somehow fine??????????? ok???

omg isn’t emma just adorable i just want to cuddle her

omg sam is so honourable 

i feel emma so bad loads of ppl i know have just key principles they live by and i find it so hard...... it’s POSSIBLE tho. anything is. i mean my boyfriend is a gemini.

omg osborne has such good gossip

is it abt ross

omg he’s BURSTING

GIVE CHRISTIAN BRASSINGTON AN OSCAR FOR THIS SCENE

i know hugh means alot to demelza but i would be dead pissy like if she didn’t come to potentially the biggest day of my political life

omg are those swans in the lake.

are they....... THE FOUR SWANS??????

omg hugh pls die these scenes are just the same thing three million times

i am so here with everyone bringing their wives to the election and ross bringing DWIGHT

omg falmouth BOTTLED IT 

tbh i am surprised he’s even at the election bc hugh is literally dying

ok so george is winning rip ross this is embarrassing

only 1 more vote fuck

omg basset

basset listen

sweaty

ROSS POLARK

omg george mst literally wanna die 

omg i lowkey love falmouth let’s celebrate

omg falmouth what’s wrong

hugh is dead!!!!!!!!!

why is dwight’s ugly brown coat such a LOOK i lowkey want one

dwight giving ross good advice is my king

awww emma didn’t have sex with tom harry i hate men

omg what she’s leaving

omg if they aren’t endgame i swear to fuckin god

OMG MY CHILDREN ARE KISSING

HE IS A GOOD BOY ISN’T HE

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW TOES

omg is that

rowella?????

omg she WASN’T PREGANNT??? LIL SNAKE

ossie lowkey deserves the worst tho lol

lowkey tho demelza should probs comehome at some point

scratch that caroline will look after her just fine!!!!

i think it’s rlly cathartic they are chatting about it. well done romelza

omg i can’t believe ross is going to london???? DOES THIS MEAN MORE DWIGHT/CAROLINE NEXT WEEK???

end of reacts

[s3venpounds]

1-104

YA CHEEKY LITTLE CUNT love you tho because its always fun to do these asks even though everyone who reads will probs forget all these details in like the span of a week.

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

wanna go again?

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

nothing anymore

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

depends on what drugs, the severity of the side effects, the cost of said drugs, and how addicted they are to it. like if its weed sure go ahead long as it isn’t around me not a big fan of the smell. crystal meth however i would probably be turned off or just attempt to get them off it. over the counter drugs though is fine too.

4. Is your last name longer than six letters? yep

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? sober

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yes. horribly messed up. still think about it tbh

7. What does your last received text say? “ well i think you can just wax with whatever length but it wont be able to cling to your hair well”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? lost count too busy being happy at the time

9. Where was your last kiss at? a bus stop

10. When is the last time you saw your sister? yesterday

11. What do you drink in the morning? nothing. i dont wake up in the morning

12. Where did you sleep last night? my couch because its fucking comfier than my bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard? most def. wouldn’t have it any other way though. 

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? yeah

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

yeah, the fact we haven’t talked in months, and because i’m pretty sure she wants nothing to do with me lol

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? rainy, free shower

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? dont got a middle name so i guess yes?

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? boxing shorts 

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? ahahaha no.

20. Does anyone like you? trust me, if i knew i would do something about it

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? its rude to say but i don’t remember but from what i do remember its a no

22. Is the last person you kissed gay? not gay specifically at least from what i’ve been told by said person

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? 3 people specifically. not gonna name them

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? multiple times, talked to tattoo artists, people who had multiple tattoos, people who are first timers so yeah i want one maybe 5

25. In the past week have you cried? yeah anime hurts the feels bro

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?does pictures on tumblr count? if yes, a shiba inu, if no, golden retriever

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? out of the shower, i feel like im gonna slip and fall if i stay in there too long

28. Have you ever kissed a football player? yeah he doesn’t use lip balm often so it was kinda rough

29. Do you think you’re old? yeah

30. Do you like text messaging? most def. i like texting more than talking since i can think about my words and play it off as just “ yeah i was busy” also i find myself a better conversationalist on texts than in person

31. What type of day are you having? a shitty one but i showered so im feeling refreshed at least

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? nope, i have thought about getting spider bites on my lower lip but i dont think i can pull it off

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? cold weather, i hate bugs and indoor volleyball is nice

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?yeah

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? a relationship. flings hurt afterwards and to me theres no feelings behind it so youre left feeling empty

36. Are you a simple or complicated person? i wanna say simple but everyone knows everyones complicated. if someones simple that just means theyre not letting off everything at the get go

37. What song are you listening to? lie to me george nozuka

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? of course i do. does it mean i wont make the same mistake? nope. it just means i’ll take steps to preventing it from happening again. if it happens again then ill keep trying. all you can do when you fuck up is to just keep trying to prevent it from happening again. 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? i’d like to think so40. What made you start liking the person you like now?vibrant personality that draws you in. playful demeanor. likes geeky things like i do. has deep thoughts that make me want to ponder existence with them. likes physical intimacy. and the first thought when i saw her was that i wanted to protect her, care for her, and guide her in life if ever she needs help. 41. When did you last receive a text message? 8:43 am monday42. What is wrong with you right now? im not independent? i rely on friends and other stuff to grant me happiness when really the only source of happiness i can rely on if to draw it from myself. friends help but they can’t be the only source. i have trouble moving on from past issues, constantly weighed down by past decisions and mistakes when i should have passed it a long time ago.43. How well do you know the last female you texted? not very well however she knows me very well since i vent to her lol44. Does anyone disgust you? yeah the same 3 people i mentioned that i cannot stand.45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? most likely yeah46. Are you in a good mood right now? nope. neutral if anything47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?me mother before she left for a bus shuttle to fort mac48. What color shirt are you wearing? nude. no plans today, or guests so that means no pants, no shirt and occasionally if im feeling happy enough, no underwear either49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? not recently. i have a feeling that i’ve given off the vibe to all my friends that they have to tip toe around me about a lot of topics else they’ll make me sad. i’d rather a splash of cold water in the face than some shitty lie50. Anyone you’re giving up on? myself mostly.51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? i never hate the people i used to date. i hate the decisions i made that lead to breaking up. i tend to think things are never someone else’s fault but more of mine. even if by some weird chance it wasn’t i would twist it so it was my fault. its just easier for everyone that way if people have a scapegoat.

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? yeah.53. Do you like rain? i love it. sometimes on rare occasions i can almost feel the shitty person inside me just kinda slide off my skin and drip off the tips of my fingers and i feel … complete? is the best way i can put it54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? nope. party all you like, im just not too keen on drinking very often or partying very often. although when i do party ill party hard.55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? who hasnt?56. Do you like to cuddle? love it. spooning, arm on shoulder, hugging from behind, them sitting on your lap, them holding you from behind. my skin feels electric when the person i love has their skin against mine.57. Are you shy? i’d like to say im not58. Do you get along with girls? i’d like to say i do59. Have you dated the person you texted last? not going to lie hahah i considered it at some point60. What do you carry with you at all times? phone, wallet , keys.61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? yeah most likely. the economy sucks bro.62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? yeah assuming i dont fuck up lol63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?nope. sadly.64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? DAMN STRAIGHT.  shit would be like a good luck charm65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? my niece tried to say duck and instead said fuck

66. How old are the last three people you kissed? probably going to get some questionable looks from this but 16, 24, 21

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? pay for a pro, i am NOT an artistic person.   68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    zebra. black and white. leopard print makes me think a white 40 something year old with plastic surgery, hair thats half a meter tall and nails that are longer than most men’s penises talking with a southern belle accent that tries to hit on pool boys69. Do you have any stickers on your car? none70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? i hate country and im not a fan of lil wayne anymore so i guess lil wayne if i absolutely have to.71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    android 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    couple days ago?73. Do you like diet soda?    hate it. feels fake to me74. What color are the walls in your room?    boring beige75. Are you 16 or older?    yes.76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    heard of it, seen gifs, dont plan on watching it77. Do you have a job?    as of now yeah.  78. What are your initials?    SM79. Did you ever have braces?  nope.  i had retainers but i kept breaking them so my parents were like okay thats enough, its too expensive to replace them lol80. Are you from the south?  im about as north as you can get without living in igloos

81. What does your last status on facebook say?    “day barely started and 4 things putting me in a shitty mood. looks liek today is gonna be loooooooooong”82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    i wish.83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    mother. although im not on good terms with either of them. my mother just has more patience to deal with me84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?   i did pom squad which was a pretty shitty version of cheerleading i guess. 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? beauty and the beast i thoroughly enjoyed it =]    86. Do you smoke?  weed or cigarettes? either one ive stopped both. not worth it, plus i dislike smelling gross.87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    i’ve worn heels before but not for a prolonged period of time but they felt nice so i’d say hells. flip flops keep making annoying sounds and it makes me grind my teeth thinking about it88. Is your phone touch screen?    yes89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    straight. i’d love it to be a bit curly. i even permed my hair last year apparently it looked good says some friends of mine.90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    i snuck out last night lol. the family gave up on stopping me.91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    pool. rivers and lakes have the possibility of germs, leeches or other shit. its a hassle to have to take extra precautions92. Have you ever made out in a car?    yep.93. …Had sex in a car?    almost.94. Are you single or in a relationship?   single. 95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    playing overwatch with my friend reo.96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    AW COME THE FUCK ON. the last relationship questions weren’t enough to jab a knife in my chest but this too? fuck. whatever. it was at capital ex or k- days whatever the fuck you wanna call it. i had fun. the fireworks wasn’t the only thing that sparked. fuck. instant bad mood.97. Do you like the camera on your phone? yeah its really good. i can take pictures of my friends and even see the condition of their pores and shit its pretty nice.   98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?    nope. i’d like to try it though99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    not yet.100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?  yeah. i should really just delete my facebook.  101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?  nope.  102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    Die young103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    nope.104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? sure why not. i’d probs wear assless chaps too if i had a nice ass