#sorry i just smoked a bowl so i’m monologuing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bnhabadass · 3 years ago

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TW: Panic attack

On Monday, he brought home a girl to screw and kept the entire house up with her screaming his name. On Tuesday, he smoked a bowl indoors and turned the entire house into one big hotbox. You couldn’t focus with the smell of weed permeating every surface so you spent the night on Uraraka’s dorm room floor (which her roommate was less than thrilled with). On Wednesday, he invited a couple friends over to drink and they kept you up until three in the morning with their lack of voice volume control.

Now it was Thursday. You had an hour before your interview and you were standing outside the bathroom in nothing but your robe. The bathroom door was locked and the loud pattering of water hitting the bottom of the tub could be heard from where you stood.

You rapped on the door. “Dabi? Dabi hurry up.” You checked the time on your phone again. “I have my interview in an hour and I need to take a shower and the other bathroom is occupied.”

There was no response from the other side.

You knocked on the door again, louder this time. “Dabi, hurry up!”

Spinner walked by and side-eyed you but didn’t say anything.

You leaned your head against the doorframe. “I swear to God, if you don’t get out of the shower in five seconds, I’ll--”

As soon as you said that, the door opened and the steam made its way out of the room before dissipating in the air. You took a step back and looked up at Dabi. He seemed to be staring you down. Even though he looked like he wanted to say something, he remained silent and began walking away.

It wasn’t until you were about to push the door open that he piped up. “I wouldn’t if I were you. Someone’s still in there.”

Your mouth hung open as he walked back to his room in nothing but a towel hugging tight against his ass. How could he do that to you? He knew about your interview, he knew you were stressed, and if you had to guess, he knew that you could hear his Monday night activities from the other side of the wall.

It took another couple minutes, but the other person finally came out of the bathroom. She was a tall woman with gorgeous sun-kissed skin and long dark hair . She looked at you with big brown eyes and smiled a sort of pitying smile. “Sorry about that,” her voice rang and she tightened the towel around her chest.

You nodded and pushed your way into the room.

“Oh,” she piped up. “Sorry, there’s no more hot water.”

As she walked away, your face fell and you could feel the last of your willpower begin to crumble as well. You couldn’t take any more. This was the final straw.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Dabi was sitting on the couch, cigarette between his lips and phone in his hand, when Shigaraki approached him.

“What the hell is wrong with you,” the leader of the house said.

Dabi looked up at him with lazy eyes and blew smoke out into his face.

Shigaraki took the cigarette from his lips and threw it on the hardwood floor, smashing it out with his steel toed boot.

“What the fuck man?”

“What the fuck, Dabi?” Shigaraki mocked back. “Any idea why our youngest roommate came to me right before her interview saying she needs to move out?”

Dabi looked down at his feet. Of course you’d fucking blab to Shigaraki about how he’s been treating you.

“You’ve been treating her like shit for the last few weeks. Fuck it, not just her. It’s all of us.” Shigaraki stared him down.

Dabi narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean? I’m not being a dick to anyone else in the house.”

“Oh cut the crap. You bring home a girl to fuck loudly into the night knowing that your room is next to (Y/n)’s but we could all hear it.” He shuddered at the memory. “And then you smoked up the whole house so she’d leave but we all had to deal with it too. Then you brought those frat guys over and none of us could sleep last night because they were screaming and drinking all our booze and raiding our fridge.”

Dabi just scoffed. “Are you done monologuing? It’s not like I did anything to you today.”

“Watching (Y/n) beg for you to open the bathroom door while she’s wearing nothing but a bathrobe isn’t a form of entertainment, Dabi!” he yelled. “It’s pitiful.”

Dabi took out another cigarette and lit it. If he was going to have this conversation he needed something to get him through it. “Okay maybe I went too far with that last one.”

“Why are you being such a dick to her?”

Dabi stiffened his muscles. He couldn’t let it all come out. He didn’t want to let it all come out. And he sure as hell didn’t want Shigaraki to be the person he let it all come out to. So he thought up the best bullshit excuse he could think of. “It’s just, she’s here all the time. And she’s in Big Sis Mags’ room and... she’s not her, you know?”

“Bullshit,” Shigaraki spat. “You never cared about Big Sis Magne and that sure as hell isn’t the reason you’re acting like a dick.”

“She’s not like us, okay?” Dabi spat at him. He sucked deep onto his cigarette and weaved a hand through his hair. His leg bounced up and down at a rapid pace. Here goes everything. “She’s not like us. She’s a goody two-shoes, the kind of girl I made fun of in high school. She hasn’t struggled the way we have. She hasn’t lived through real life like we have. She doesn’t belong with people like us, okay?”

Shigaraki waited for a few moments to pass. A sneer was painted across his worn out features. “Are you done monologuing?” His tone left a sour feeling in Dabi’s stomach. “Are you a fucking idiot?”

Dabi stayed silent.

“Why do you think this job interview is so important to her? She struggles, more than you probably ever will. She doesn’t have the luxury of having someone else pay her full tuition for her. So what if you hate your dad, at least he’s giving you something.”

Suddenly, Dabi felt as though he’d been punched in the gut several times.

“And yeah she’s smart but so is Spinner. And she’s sweet but so is Jin. And just because you,” Shigaraki jabbed his chest, “would have made fun of her in high school doesn’t mean you have the right to treat her like shit now. So go and fucking apologize before she moves out for good.”

Once he finished speaking, Shigaraki stalked away, leaving Dabi alone in the living room. He didn’t smoke the final few drags of his cigarette, instead letting the ash fall into a pile on his lap.

You were exhausted by the time you got home. You switched your shift around, which was nice, but after your interview, all you wanted to do was curl up in bed and watch Vine compilations.

You were also exhausted from the thought of going into your own home. You didn’t want to see Dabi. You didn’t want him to give you another reason to move out. You thought back to your conversation with Uraraka and Midoriya. You loved your roommates and the thought of leaving them was scary. But at the same time, seeing Dabi every day was torture.

You couldn’t understand how he could flip like a switch the way he did. He went from being someone you considered a close friend to a complete asshole. You didn’t know what you had done wrong or what you could do to make him your friend again, but at the same time you weren’t sure if you wanted to be friends with someone who treats you the way he has for the last few weeks.

What you hated the most about living with Dabi, though, was the way that your heart would still skip a beat every time you’d be in the same room as him. Anyone who glances at him or even hears his voice would say that he’s hot. That’s undeniable. But as the two of you began to grow closer, it was hard for you to deny the swelling feelings you had developed for your roommate.

There was something so dangerous and sexy about his rebellious life that made you want to learn more about him, about his tattoos and piercings, about his life. And you have also seen the sweet side of Dabi. The side that offered you a coping mechanism when work had you down and that brought you coffee after having a panic attack and fainting.

As much as you hated the person who brought someone home to loudly fuck into the night, you missed the person you knew as your friend and wanted that person to become something more.

After pushing the sticky lock open and trudging upstairs, you looked around at your home. It was warm, but felt different from what you knew. You unbuttoned your coat but left it hanging open.

Jin and Shigaraki were sitting at the round table in the kitchen. When you walked in, Jin smiled at you and greeted you with an enthusiastic, “how did it go?”

You looked down at the floor as you walked over and sat in the third and final chair around the table. “I don’t think I’m gonna get in.”

Shigaraki looked up and narrowed his eyes, but you were too wrapped up in your thoughts to notice.

“What do you mean?” Jin asked. “You prepared so hard for this interview.”

“I know but it wasn’t anything like what I was expecting.” Your voice began to break as you relayed what happened. “The interviewer only asked four questions, none of which were on my note cards, and I stumbled over at least half of them.”

As you thought more and more about how the interview went, your body began to tremble.

The two men in front of you watched as tears fell from your eyes, neither of them knowing what to do. While everyone in the house was close with one another, no one except Toga was really equipped to deal with tears--and she was not planning on returning home until later that night.

“I can’t continue living like this,” you let out. “I can’t continue working two jobs. It’s agonizing, and I’m losing sleep, and my grades are dropping.” Your breathing became more rapid and your eyes reddened. “I don’t know what to do.”

Jin and Shigaraki looked back and forth between you and each other. Jin tried calming you down by shushing you like you would a fussy baby, but of course that would never work in any situation. Shigaraki attempted to call Toga, but after three rings it went to voicemail.

Your body was shaking as you managed to get in your head about your future and your ability to hold a job and whether or not you would be able to stay in school if your grades were to fall even further. You had shed your coat as your body had become too overheated with it on, but now you were itching at your shirt. It all needed to go but at the same time you felt too exposed in front of your roommates; your friends.

“(Y/n), you need to calm down.” Shigaraki held his hand out but he froze. It was as if he thought that if he touched you, you would combust.

“I can’t,” you let out. And then you could only let out those words in staggered breaths. “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.”

It wasn’t until you felt a pair of strong arms wrap around you that you finally felt safe enough to let out a sob. The delicate dam that had been tested all week was finally breaking open, and you squeezed the arms that wrapped around you as you cried.

“Shh,” Dabi’s voice cooed as he stroked his hand over your head. “It’s okay. Let it all out.”

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heartofether · 3 years ago

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Episode 15 - Elderberries TRANSCRIPT

[You can listen to the show wherever you get your podcasts, or go to our “Listen” page if you’re on desktop.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

[LOWER-PITCHED AND SLOWER THAN NORMAL] Please state your message.

[THEME SONG PLAYS.]

VAL

Three-eyed Frog Presents: The Heart of Ether.

[THEME SONG FADES TO A STOP.]

[PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. THE POPPY GARDEN MOTEL, AGENT MAY AND JUNES’ ROOM, EARLY MORNING.]

AGENT JUNE

Oh, is it on? I dunno how this recording device works. Would have been, like, ten times easier to just record on our phones, but, eh.

Anyways, it’s just me right now, which means I get to do all the talking. Guess I should, I dunno, talk about the mission? Daughtler?

Oh! I know. There’s this candy store downtown that displays massive gummy bears in the window, only it’s so hot outside that the bears have started melting. It’s some mix of disturbing, but also hilarious? Seriously, those bears look so sad, I can’t help but laugh.

Let’s see. Say, what’s that stupid thing he always says? [DRAMATICALLY MOCKING AGENT MAY] This is Operation Saturn, phase 1.2. Conducted by Agents May and June. All recordings are property of the—

[AS AGENT JUNE TALKS, THE DOOR IS HEARD OPENING AND CLOSING. THERE ARE FOOTSTEPS AS AGENT MAY WALKS IN.]

AGENT MAY

Here’s your coffee.

AGENT JUNE

Much obliged! Oh, you got it with oat milk, right?

AGENT MAY

[SLIGHTLY BITTER] It cost extra, but yes.

AGENT JUNE

Aw, hell yeah.

[AGENT JUNE TAKES HIS DRINK.]

AGENT MAY

I’ve never understood the excitement behind alternative milks.

AGENT JUNE

Hey, I’m lactose intolerant. Not that that would stop me from consuming dairy in most scenarios, but oat milk hits, alright? You should give it a shot.

AGENT MAY

I don’t put milk in my coffee, just sugar.

AGENT JUNE

Mm. Gross.

AGENT MAY

[HE HUFFS A SIGH.] Well, I’ll stop judging your coffee order if you stop judging mine.

AGENT JUNE

I’ll agree to that, sure.

[HE TAKES A SIP, THEN] See anything of note in the coffeeshop?

AGENT MAY

[UNCOMFORTABLY] Maybe. There was this girl sitting at a table. She was wearing all-black, which is strange considering the weather.

AGENT JUNE

Uh, ever heard of fashion? Dude, you literally wear a suit every day! No wonder you overheat. I mean, why do you think I skip the blazer?

AGENT MAY

[IRRITATED] At least I wear my tie correctly.

AGENT JUNE

I leave it undone on purpose, alright? It’s a statement.

AGENT MAY

Do you know how to tie a tie?

AGENT JUNE

[DEFENSIVE] Yes!

[AN UNCOMFORTABLY LONG PAUSE.]

AGENT JUNE

So, there was this girl in the coffeeshop.

AGENT MAY

She seemed fairly young. Must have been in either high school or college. She was staring at me over her laptop the whole time. Like she was, I don’t know, stalking prey. It was like her eyes were knives, and she was trying to carve my flesh off.

AGENT JUNE

So, she defo wasn’t just idly looking or whatever. Like, you’re pretty sure she was thinking about killing you?

AGENT MAY

Well, there’s no way I can know for certain, now, is there?

[A BEAT.] She was wearing a black fabric surgical mask, though.

[A TENSE PAUSE.]

AGENT JUNE

Do you think she was—?

AGENT MAY

I can’t say for sure.

AGENT JUNE

I mean, it might have been an accessory, but we’re in Daughtler, Washington—

AGENT MAY

I’m not going back there to check. Okay? If we see her again, maybe we can consider interviewing her, but I don’t feel comfortable going back to see her.

AGENT JUNE

[UNDERSTANDING] Alright.

[AGENT MAY SIGHS.]

AGENT JUNE

[CONT.] Alright. I won’t force you.

AGENT MAY

I—I appreciate that.

[THERE'S A PAUSE.]

AGENT JUNE

Uh, how’d you sleep?

AGENT MAY

About as well as I could in a car seat.

AGENT JUNE

Okay, I can’t just keep letting you sleep in the car. It was kind of funny at first, but now I just— [HIS SENTENCE TRAILS OFF IN VAGUE STUTTERS.]

AGENT MAY

[BEAT.] Well?

AGENT JUNE

I feel bad! Alright? I mean, look at me, I have this whole room to myself, and meanwhile, my partner is sleeping in a company vehicle that may or may not have bloodstains in the backseat.

[BEAT, THEN] Actually, I’d love to talk about those weird dark stains later, because uh, what, but I’ll let it slide for now. It’s still gotta be super uncomfortable, though.

AGENT MAY

We could always take turns.

AGENT JUNE

No, what I’m saying is I don’t think either of us have to sleep in the car! There has got to be a better solution.

AGENT MAY

The Foundation already declined giving us a second room, or trying to transfer us to a larger one. Trust me, I tried.

AGENT JUNE

Dammit.

[A LONG PAUSE.]

AGENT JUNE

It's king-sized, you know.

[ANOTHER LONG PAUSE.]

AGENT MAY

Do you think the motel has spare blankets? I think I could try sleeping on the floor.

[THOUGH UNSEEN, AGENT JUNE LOOKS INTO THE CAMERA LIKE HE’S IN THE OFFICE.]

AGENT MAY

…I’ll go down and ask later.

AGENT JUNE

Good idea.

[A BEAT. THERE'S SUIT RUSTLING AS AGENT MAY CHECKS HIS WATCH.]

AGENT MAY

We should head out soon.

AGENT JUNE

You’re really glued to that watch of yours, huh?

AGENT MAY

Excuse me?

AGENT JUNE

Not that it’s bad, you just check it a lot. I don’t really know what watch etiquette is, but I think you look at it more than most people do. I’ve also noticed you tend to look at it more around specific times? Is there a reason, or—?

AGENT MAY

[MORE SERIOUS THAN THE CONVERSATION WARRANTS] It’s none of your business. Perhaps I simply prefer to keep on schedule. Let’s go.

AGENT JUNE

[SLIGHTLY CONFUSED] Oh, um, okay. Sorry. [UNDER HIS BREATH] Jeez. Let me just—

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

[ANOTHER BEEP.]

[INT. THE OPEN EYES BOOKSTORE BACKROOM, EARLY, EARLY MORNING.]

HOLLY

Are you recording?

PHOEBE

Yes, yes, I am.

HOLLY

Kind of weird to be doing this so early in the morning.

PHOEBE

I’m sorry, I know it’s super early. Night just felt…well, it felt more dangerous, I guess? Even Grandma Doe recommended not doing it too late. I wanted to get it done before the shop opened, though.

HOLLY

Oh no, I don’t mind. I guess people usually just consider night to be “the witching hour.”

PHOEBE

This isn’t really witchcraft, though, is it?

HOLLY

Guess not. Most modern witchcraft is a lot more…chill, I guess?

PHOEBE

Right. [A BEAT.] Do you think it’s really a good idea to be doing this in the back room?

HOLLY

Well, it’s not like we have anywhere else. It’d be super shady if we did it right outside, and your forestry friend would be pissed if we went out into the woods to do it.

PHOEBE

[NERVOUS] There’s so much paper, though. I mean, we could easily set the whole thing alight. My apartment’s really small, I know, but maybe we could—?

HOLLY

Don’t worry about it. We did a pretty good job clearing stuff out to make space, I think. It should be fine, I mean, a lot of the most flammable stuff either got moved out or shoved against the wall.

Besides, didn’t she say that it might be good to do it here for like, symbolic purposes?

PHOEBE

Yeah. Yeah, I guess you’re right. [SHE CHUCKLES.] Maybe this will finally give me incentive to organize everything.

HOLLY

[SHE LAUGHS, SOMEWHAT NERVOUSLY.] If this works, then hopefully you’ll be able to do that anyways.

PHOEBE

That’s true, yes. I, um, guess we should get started. Can you read the directions?

HOLLY

Of course.

[HOLLY IS HEARD UNFOLDING A PIECE OF PAPER.]

HOLLY

[READING] The purpose of all of this is energy. You are lighting fire to produce energy. You are grinding berries and eating them to produce it as well. Ether functions under this key desire for vitality. If you can understand this simple principle, this keen need it has, it will treat you much more kindly.

By designing this ritual for you, my hope is that it will spell out as clear as day to Ether what you are trying to achieve. It rarely gives people what they want, rather it gives what it sees fit for them. You must steer it in the correct direction, or else it will choose a different fate for you.

These instructions are similar to what Valencia and I did, as well as symbolic for what you hope to achieve. However, nobody has ever developed an exact science for how these rituals function. We may only rely on guesswork and hope. While I would like to develop more specific procedures and instructions, I do not know if I ever will. Perhaps that could be your task.

[BREAKING READING] Could I skip her whole monologue? We already read it, and I don’t think it’s important in-the-moment.

PHOEBE

Sure.

HOLLY

Cool.

[SHE FLIPS THE PAPER.]

HOLLY

Materials needed: Yarn or string to create a casting circle. Some people use salt, but it produces an awful mess. Several circles of yarn around you and your workspace will work just fine.

PHOEBE

We did that already.

HOLLY

Yup. [READING AGAIN] Three white candles with words carved into them. It does not matter what the words are, they simply have to be legible and completely cover the candle. No numbers. I just wrote out song lyrics on that one.

PHOEBE

Oh, that’s neat! I, um, did poems I like.

HOLLY

Cute. [A BEAT.] A lighter or match of some kind. Someplace to safely burn paper—we got a metal bin, so we’re good. Did you turn off the smoke alarm?

PHOEBE

I did, yeah.

HOLLY

Let’s hope the place doesn’t burn down, then. [CHUCKLE, THEN] I’m joking, I promise. It should be fine. [SHE CLEARS HER THROAT.]

A book—you will be tearing out each individual page, so to save time, I suggest a children’s book. A bowl or container of some kind. Elderberries, I recommend you cook them beforehand, but make sure none of them are pre-mashed. Something to mash the elderberries with. Finally, a few drops of your blood, or something to draw blood with. That’s what the sewing needle is for, right? You sure you don’t want a blade? I have a pocket knife.

PHOEBE

[UNCOMFORTABLE] I get nervous around knives, but thank you for the offer.

Oh—actually, I wanted to ask, um, where did you find elderberries? I couldn’t find them anywhere.

HOLLY

I asked the bartender down the street.

PHOEBE

Huh.

HOLLY

Yeah, they make all sorts of weird cocktails. Are you ready? Once we start, we can’t stop until it’s complete.

PHOEBE

[WITH WEIGHT, NERVOUS, BUT DETERMINED] I’m ready.

HOLLY

Okay.

[HOLLY FLIPS THE PAPER AGAIN. THERE’S A PAUSE.]

HOLLY

Phoebe?

PHOEBE

Yeah?

HOLLY

Whatever happens, I—we’ll be okay, alright? No matter what. I’ll make sure of it, I swear.

PHOEBE

[TENDERLY] Thank you.

[THERE’S A PAUSE AS THEY ARE HEARD KISSING. HOLLY TAKES A DEEP BREATH.]

HOLLY

Create a circle around— Okay, we already did that. Um, Start by lighting the candles.

[PHOEBE IS HEARD LIGHTING A MATCH AND LIGHTING ALL THREE CANDLES.]

HOLLY

Tear each individual piece of paper out of the book. One by one, burn each piece of paper using fire from the candles. Once you have burned each page, burn the cover. Do not attempt to put any of the fires out. This tedious process shows care and dedication. The blood in later steps is there for a similar purpose.

[PHOEBE IS HEARD TEARING PAGES OUT OF A CHILDREN’S BOOK AND LIGHTING THEM ON FIRE. THERE’S A LONG PAUSE AS SHE DOES SO.]

PHOEBE

Good thing this book only has twenty pages. [A BEAT.] What’s next?

[PHOEBE IS STILL TEARING PAPER IN THE BACKGROUND, AND THE BURNING SFX GOES ON FOR SOME TIME.]

HOLLY

Uh—place your elderberries in the bowl and begin mashing them in a clockwise motion. As you do this, speak out loud and ask Ether to grant you knowledge and the ability to see what others do not. There should be no misunderstanding in what you are trying to achieve, and if you have garnered Ether’s attention, it should have already decided what it shall do with you. [MUTTERS] Fuckin’ weird.

[PHOEBE CEASES HER PAGE-TEARING.]

PHOEBE

The book is done. Pass me the spice grinder with the berries?

[HOLLY PASSES PHOEBE THE SPICE GRINDER.]

PHOEBE

Thank you.

[PHOEBE IS HEARD GRINDING THE ELDERBERRIES.]

PHOEBE

[WHISPERING TO HERSELF] Ether, um, whoever or whatever you are, if you are listening to me, please grant me knowledge. Grant me the power to see what others do not. Let me see and know everything.

[THERE IS A RINGING HEARD IN THE BACKGROUND AS HOLLY SPEAKS.]

HOLLY

If this works, the words on the candle should begin to—holy—God!

[HOLLY STUMBLES BACK.]

PHOEBE

Glow?

HOLLY

[FREAKING OUT] Yup? Uh—they’re actually glowing, what the—

PHOEBE

[OVERLAPPING] What’s next?

HOLLY

Sorry, sorry. [SHE RUFFLES THE PAPER IN HER HAND.] Mix a few drops of your blood into the elderberries.

PHOEBE

Pass me the sewing needle.

[HOLLY PASSES PHOEBE THE NEEDLE. SHE PRICKS HER FINGER.]

PHOEBE

[UNDER HER BREATH] Ow.

[SHE LETS A FEW DROPS COME OUT, SUCKS ON HER FINGER BRIEFLY, THEN MIXES HER BLOOD IN.]

HOLLY

Drink the elderberry mash. You must consume every bit of it, or at least as much as you can.

PHOEBE

[GROWING IN A MIX OF PANIC AND EXCITEMENT] This is it—I mean—wait, I’m about to consume my blood, that’s weird, but—this is really it.

HOLLY

[ENCOURAGING] You can do it.

[PHOEBE IS HEARD DRINKING THE ELDERBERRY MASH. THERE IS A PAUSE.]

HOLLY

If successful, the candles will—

[THE CANDLES ARE HEARD EXTINGUISHING.]

HOLLY

…blow out.

PHOEBE

[SLIGHTLY SICK] I think I got it all.

HOLLY

How do you feel? Is—has anything changed?

PHOEBE

I feel…I feel like there’s a part of me that was never there before. Like, my internal self expands farther out than my physical self, like I’m floating, it’s—I need to go lie down.

HOLLY

I’ll take you upstairs. It worked, though?

PHOEBE

I think it did. I mean, Grandma Doe said I would feel some sort of immediate change, but the rest of it would trickle in slowly. I feel different, though.

HOLLY

[SLOWLY, CAUTIOUS] Does this mean you’re not human anymore?

PHOEBE

[A BEAT.] I haven’t thought about that. I mean, I think I might just kind of be human plus? I’m not sure. Grandma Doe was still mortal, after all—she felt pain, she got ill—her mind was just super advanced. Does that make me inhuman?

HOLLY

I…I don’t think so. I think you just have mind powers or whatever.

PHOEBE

I’ll think about it later. I’m just going to try to get some sleep before the shop opens.

HOLLY

You don’t even have to open today, you know. People will understand if you just say you’re ill. Or I could run it for today, since there’s usually less traction on weekdays.

PHOEBE

[SINCERE] Thank you.

HOLLY

Of course.

PHOEBE

[SHE SIGHS.] Okay, time to—

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

[ANOTHER PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. IRENE’S HOUSE, MIDDAY.]

IRENE

I just got home from work. Apparently, Phoebe did that ritual early this morning. It went well, from what Holly told me, though Phoebe’s been taking the day off to rest.

Oh, and they also posted that advert on the bulletin board yesterday. You know, for someone to develop Valencia’s film.

That’s not important right now. You know what is important?

This morning, at work, I opened up a folder on my computer and guess what was in it? A new audio recording where there shouldn’t be one. Guess the technological gods have decided to be generous today.

I decided to wait until I got off to listen to it. It’s dated shortly after the incident, so I think it might be important.

Besides, work has been…well, different, since the Spread. I haven’t told Carol or Aden that’s what it’s called, though. The whole incident brought us closer together, but I think that’s a double-edged sword. They know me well enough, now, I think they can tell I’m hiding something. Aden definitely knows I am—I mean, what I told him was pretty cryptic, but Carol I think just…knows. She’s just like that. [SCOFF] Maybe that’s part of her motherly instincts.

Right, that’s beside the point. Back to the recording.

Here goes nothing.

[IRENE CLICKS ON THE FILE.]

[PHONE BEEP.]

[INT. DRIVING, LATE AT NIGHT.]

[THERE IS THE AMBIANCE OF DRIVING DOWN A DESOLATE FOREST ROAD AS THEY TALK.]

UNKNOWN GIRL

Does it work?

ROSE

I believe so.

UNKNOWN GIRL

[SHE SNORTS.] About as well as a cheap cell phone from Walmart could, I imagine?

ROSE

It just has to be able to record and make emergency calls. I’m not too worried about it. Thank you, again. Really, I owe you.

UNKNOWN GIRL

Hey, I didn’t buy it. I just walked into the store and handed your money to the guy behind the counter. It’s not a big deal.

[DULLY SKEPTICAL] You’re trying pretty hard to cover up your tracks, you know. Destroying your phone, not wanting to be seen in public to go get a new one, only paying in cash. Almost makes it sound like you’re a criminal or something.

ROSE

[FRANTIC] I’m not! I swear, I’m not.

UNKNOWN GIRL

No need to get defensive. Look, I get it. We all have reasons to want to disappear. I’m surely in no position to judge.

You know, I know we haven’t known each other for long, but I feel like we might actually have a lot in common.

ROSE

Why is that?

UNKNOWN GIRL

We both don’t know where we’re going, or why.

ROSE

[UNDER HER BREATH] Oh, I know why.

UNKNOWN GIRL

So you do have a reason?

ROSE

It’s not a big deal.

UNKNOWN GIRL

Your secret’s safe with me, you know.

ROSE

It’s nothing. Really. Just…do you have to know or—?

UNKNOWN GIRL

Well, do I have any reason to?

ROSE

No, but do you even have a reason to be helping me?

UNKNOWN GIRL

[DEADPAN] What can I say? I’m a generous soul.

[A BEAT.] Say, why did you want something to record with, anyways?

ROSE

I, um—it’s stupid.

UNKNOWN GIRL

Try me.

ROSE

It’s—well. I guess I don’t want to be forgotten? I want some way for people to find out what happened to me when…if…you know. There’s…if something does happen to me, there’s at least one person who deserves to know.

UNKNOWN GIRL

You think you’re going to get yourself killed?

ROSE

I don’t know. I suppose it’s better to be safe than sorry?

UNKNOWN GIRL

But you have someone you know will want to listen. [CONNECTING THE DOTS] You weren’t a loner before you left, were you? You left someone important behind, and now you feel bad. You owe them an explanation.

ROSE

[UNCOMFORTABLY] Yes. Right. I guess.

[A BEAT.] I don’t want to talk about this anymore.

UNKNOWN GIRL

Who did you abandon?

ROSE

[RAISING HER VOICE SLIGHTLY] I said I’m done.

UNKNOWN GIRL

Alright, alright.

[A BEAT.] If it makes you feel better, I’ll let you prod at me a bit.

ROSE

[HESITANT] Where did you get your name? Wednesday is such a unique name, I don’t think I’ve ever heard it outside of stories.

WEDNESDAY [UNKNOWN GIRL]

It’s certainly no ‘Mary,’ is it?

ROSE

I mean, obviously. My name’s pretty basic.

WEDNESDAY

I actually chose it after I left home. Not like that, just never liked the name my parents gave me. Kept the last name ‘White,’ though. It has a ring to it.

ROSE

Was there a reason for it, or did it just sound nice?

WEDNESDAY

When people meet someone with a weird name, that tends to be the thing that most grabs their attention. “I met a girl named after a day of the week today, isn’t that bizarre?” I didn’t want to be remembered for anything I didn’t want people to see. If one thing was going to stick with them, it would be my name, but not quite the face that goes with it. Just the girl with an odd name.

ROSE

So you want to be forgotten?

WEDNESDAY

Not forgotten, but I want control over the memory of me. I want to fade away into obscurity, but not obscure enough that it’s suspicious.

ROSE

[KIND OF UNCOMFORTABLE] You’ve thought about this a lot.

WEDNESDAY

When you’re like me, you have to.

ROSE

Wh—what does that—

WEDNESDAY

[OVERLAPPING] Do you need me to stop at the gas station up ahead?

[THERE’S A SLIGHTLY TOO LONG PAUSE.]

ROSE

Um, yeah, I have to—

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

[INT. IRENE’S HOUSE, EARLY EVENING, THE SAME DAY.]

[THERE’S A LONG PAUSE.]

IRENE

[STILL PROCESSING IT AS SHE SPEAKS.] Okay. Okay! This is definitely a start. A great start, actually!

Okay, let’s see, uh—after you ran away, you destroyed your phone—no wonder the police couldn’t track it—and then you went with some person named Wednesday.

That’s definitely a start. If I can figure out where Wednesday—White, was it?—yeah, Wednesday White. I know Wednesday probably isn’t her legal name, but I might still be able to find her somewhere. If I can find Wednesday White, I might have a good shot at finding you. That’s great news!

[A SLIGHTLY TOO LONG PAUSE.]

IRENE

[HER ENTHUSIASM DYING] I don’t trust Wednesday, though.

[A BEAT.] Okay, maybe I shouldn’t be so skeptical. I mean, you’re not an idiot, Rose. You wouldn’t hitch hike with just any random stranger. Would you? Doesn’t even seem like you gave her your real name, she called you ‘Mary.’

[SHE HUFFS A SIGH.] Maybe I’m just being defensive. Still, she seemed off, didn’t she? That whole thing she said about her name just kind of rubbed me the wrong way. She prodded a lot, too. Almost as if she wanted to make you uncomfortable.

I could be reading into it too much. I guess I won’t know until I find her. Hopefully, she didn’t fade into obscurity too much. There’s gotta be some record of her existence online. If I’m lucky, she might be on social media or something. Who knows? Lots of time has passed.

[A PAUSE, THEN, SOFTLY] That person, you—were you recording for me? You wanted me to know you hadn’t abandoned me on purpose. [HURT] And here I was, thinking you would just leave without reason. That you had betrayed me in some way. I’m—Rose, I’m so sorry—

[JUST AS SHE SAYS “SORRY,” HER PHONE BEGINS VIBRATING. SHE PICKS IT UP.]

IRENE

[SKEPTICAL] There’s an unknown number calling me.

[SHE ANSWERS.]

IRENE

Hello?

CALLER

Hello? Is this the person who posted an ad outside of Open Eyes Bookstore?

IRENE

Oh! Um, yeah, that’s me. Wow, I didn’t expect to hear from someone so fast.

CALLER

I’m an observant person. I like to make my rounds throughout the town. You’ll never know what you’ll find, after all. Or who.

Anyways, you have some film that needs to be developed, right? Well, it just so happens to be your lucky day, because I have a dark room.

IRENE

That’s fantastic. I can pay you however much you want, just—

CALLER

[OVERLAPPING] Oh, that won’t be necessary. I’m studying photography, so the experience is payment enough. No worries!

IRENE

That’s very kind of you, thank you.

CALLER

Of course!

Oh, where are my manners? My name is Sadie. Sadie Creed. And you are…?

IRENE

Irene.

SADIE

Irene! How cute. Where do you want me to pick up your film?

IRENE

Um, I’m sorry if this sounds rude, but I would prefer to meet out in the open? Is that a problem?

SADIE

Not at all. How about Lemongrass Park?

IRENE

That’s actually perfect, yeah.

SADIE

Great! I’m happy to meet you tomorrow night at 8:00, if that time works for you? I know that’s a bit late, but I work at the candy shop until then.

IRENE

That should be fine, yeah.

SADIE

Looking forward to it! Pleasure doing business with you, Irene. Bye-bye!

[SADIE HANGS UP.]

IRENE

Huh. Well, I guess that solves that.

Time to go find Wednesday White.

[PHONE BEEP.]

[RECORDING ENDS.]

AUTOMATED VOICE

Today's quote is: A wave of grass engraves upon the stone: ‘There is more than one good way to drown.’

Sylvia Plath in "Epitaph in Three Parts," 1955.

[OUTRO MUSIC AND CREDITS PLAY.]

MICRO-COSMOS PROMOTIONAL AD [written by Jesse Smith]

[THERE ARE STATIC NOISES.]

ATHENA

This is Communications Athena Romero of OEC #0137-F recording from a… still, unknown location on the infant planet Ophiuchus-22. Though I have my… well, rational, doubts, something in me feels as though this transmission might actually be reaching someone. Might just be desperation, though. Most likely just desperation. Regardless. We would appreciate any and all OC representatives or employees, or individuals otherwise receiving this transmission, to please send a response. We have been recording mandatory and otherwise necessary emergency chronicling logs for days now. Please.

[WE HEAR MILES'S FOOTSTEPS APPROACH.]

MILES

(distant) Athena, are you sending out another transmission? They’re not going to-

[C41 APPEARS WITH THEIR USUAL PING.]

C41

Shhh, let her do her thing, Miles. She needs to set her character up correctly for the new listeners that are hearing this promotional advertisement.

MILES

The new— what?

C41

What?

MILES

What are you talking about?

FELIX

I believe what Cal is doing is called “breaking the fourth wall,” my friend.

MILES

Breaking the what now?

C41

Oh, just forget about it.

[MILES GROANS; WE HEAR ALEX APPROACH.]

ALEX

What about a promotional advertisement?

ATHENA

Guys, could you… [SIGHS] I am trying to finish this log, so could you please give me a moment?

ALEX

Sorry, Starshine, I just got a little caught up in the whole “self-aware and breaking the fourth wall” thing.

ATHENA

It’s… fine.

C41

If I were you, Athena, I would close your log out by telling the listener to tune in to Micro-Cosmos: A Science Fiction Podcast, wherever you get your podcasts! The show is created by a crew of LGBTQ+ people, and features strange infant planets, brief romantic scenes before epic tragedy, cool sci-fi terminology, and adorably talented AI units, like myself!

ATHENA

Micro-?

C41

More information on the show can be found on its website: “microcospod.space”, OR its Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, or TikTok, which all have the handle “@microcospod.”

MILES

… uh huh.

[THE CREW SITS IN SILENCE FOR A SECOND.]

C41

That’s just what I would say, though.

MILES

… Cal, we really need to figure out what is going on with this new phase of yours.

#heart of ether transcripts

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enby-hawke · 4 years ago

Text

Rating: Mature

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Category:F/M

TW: Graphic depictions of violence, exploration of race and class dynamics, eventual smut

So here it is after 3 years of talking about it and then trying to turn it into a comic, I’m kicking it out because it doesn’t pay rent and I have other stories to tell. Here it is. Hope you enjoy.

----

“I still do not understand what taste is,” the spirit somehow huffed. Malcolm knew it was a mistake to respond at all. The red specter hovered on the edge of Malcolm’s bed, it’s angry red glow a contrast to the murky green that the Fade was hazed in. It had somehow got in again, into the sanctum where he allowed his mind to rest as he guarded the dreamers of Kirkwall. Malcolm could have made his sanctum look like anything, but he didn’t bother giving himself the illusion he was anywhere else but his Circle cell. The thin sandpaper sheets did nothing to soften the metal bed underneath him. The cell had barely enough room for his dresser and desk that he used to do his studies, which he spent more time doodling on than learning. Even here he could still smell the faint aroma of the toilet that was next to his bed. Still, as unpleasant as his sanctum was, he needed a strong sensation to anchor his body, especially if he was going to battle a demon tonight.

Malcolm took in a stale breath, held it for 4 seconds, and gently let it go. It was important that no matter what happened, he remained calm.

The shimmering of the phantom became more urgent, more vibrant. Malcolm continued to ignore it, even turning his head and body away to make a point, but it didn’t seem to stop the creature from trying to dart into view, insistent on having his question answered. After the third turn of his head, the demon reached and gave one of Malcolm’s pointy ears a firm yank, screaming, “Can you hear me?”

On instinct, Malcolm swiped at the demon with a crackling fist, but the demon darted away. The sparks in Malcolm’s hand arced wildly as he leveled it at his target. “Fuck off, demon. I told you, one question.”

The wraith started to warp along with the Fade as anger emanated from Malcolm’s body. Claws started sprouting from it’s fingers and through it’s translucent skin, he could see it’s teeth starting to jut out at odd angles, but the demon made no move to fight him. “Were you listening? I am not a demon. I’m a scholar. And you are the first somniari I have come across in ages.”

The demon kept it’s distance but became more animated, gesturing with it’s gangly arms. “The last somniari only survived long enough to tell me about eating, but though I’ve tried it, the phenomenon remains perplexing.” Malcolm jumped as the demon inched closer. “Sometimes eating brings joy. Sometimes eating brings sorrow. Sometimes eating brings no emotion at all.” Quivering in curiosity, the demon then sprung forward so close to Malcolm could easily punch it. “Why somniari?”

The sparks in Malcolm’s hands died down as his eyes glazed over, caught in a memory. He saw his mother, with dark freckled brown skin, and beautiful curly hair that cascaded down her back, but her face was blurred as he failed to recall the details. Still, he remembered the smell of the plate of piping hot pancet that she placed in front of him, how the steam coming off of the unending noodles made his mouth water. She brushed his mop of curls from his eyes and kissed his forehead with a warm smile. “Happy birthday, Malcolm.”

The creature sniffed at his head as if he was about to take a huge bite. “Oh, what is that? That smells delicious!”

Malcolm swatted at the spirit as if it was an annoying fly. “Stay out of my head!”

But the spirit had already plucked the memory out of his head and dashed away a safe distance from the room. It wiggled in delight of it’s prize, and in it’s hands it materialized into a bowl of pancet. Malcolm felt a sick twist of envy as the spirit grabbed a handful of long fried noodles and shoved it into it’s mouthless face, slurping it down with wet smacking noises. “This,” sluuuurp, “memory tastes both,“ sluuuurp, “happy and sad, though the sadness is fresher.”

Malcolm, quaking in anger, rose to his feet, summoning threatening flames so high, they licked the ceiling. “Were you not warned of who I am?”

The spirit continued to eat in bliss, Malcolm’s threat no more than an annoyance. “The wisps call you,” sluurp, “Spirit Slayer.”

Malcolm raised a thick eyebrow, wondering why this spirit had no sense of self preservation. Or was this demon stronger than he thought? “So why do you risk pestering me?”

At this, the demon lowered the bowl, a mess of sauce dripping down it’s face. “Because only you can answer.”

The demon looked sadly at it’s last noodle and picked it up between it’s claws. “I, too, have lost much, somniari. I had a name once. I’ve given up trying to find it.”

“I’ve asked every stone, every wisp, but so much was lost after The Sundering. What I am, is what I have left.” The demon turned to Malcolm and though it had no eyes, he could feel it looking through him with earnest that he could feel thrumming in his heart. “So if this quest is my end, so be it.” Then it ate the noodle, looking oddly like a worm being sucked through a hole.

The flames died in Malcolm’s hands, his anger deflating with plumes of smoke. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt me to spare a moment.”

The words had barely left Malcolm’s mouth before his pocket started to buzz with a generic ringtone, that vibrated the air of the Fade like a tinging glass. The spirit cocked his head, confused as Malcolm dug through his pajama pockets and fished it out. “Sorry, demon, duty calls.”

“Scholar,” the spirit corrected, but Malcolm shushed him as he put it to his ear.

A terrified voice began sobbing through the speaker. “Help! Somebody help!”

Malcolm didn’t recognize the voice, so they weren’t one of the Circle mages being plagued for a meal. An apostate perhaps?

“Hello? It’s going to be alright,” Malcolm began like he always did. He raised his free hand to feel the cords of the Fade that were weaving together, trying to connect to the dreamer who rang his phone. The air around his hands shimmered like sparkling dust, faint harp-like threads connecting from the tips of his fingers.

“Hello?” the voice answered back, full of confusion. “Who is this?”

“That doesn’t matter. Can you tell me where you are?” He stepped off his bed and towards his bedroom door.

“Where I am?” the voice repeated, slick with tears. “I’m…I don’t know.”

He could feel that she was panicked, confused, disoriented, and that there was a dark aura surrounding her, stronger than he had felt in awhile. Malcolm had been sure that he had cleansed this area of the Fade of demons, but this just meant that more would come in to feed on the remnants. Malcolm closed his eyes, reaching through the phone to try to peek at her dream. “Yes, you do,” his soothing voice taking a commanding tone. “Just open your eyes and describe what you see.”

He heard her gasping for air as she struggled to breathe but eventually she sputtered out. “I’m in my bedroom. It’s filling up with water, fast. You have to hurry.”

He put his hand on the door. Through the darkness of his eyelids he began to see light, and the running rush of water filled his ears. “Describe your room to me.”

“What would it matter!?”

“It matters if I’m going to find you.”

A beat of silence registered on the phone, before she continued. “Well, it’s a room…with a closet and a bed.”

“Helpful,” Malcolm snorted before he could stop himself. Still, a misty silhouette of a closet, which was more like it’s own room, and a grand bed with a flowing cloth canopy started to form. There was a body tucked within it, nestled on a throne of pillows.

“Well I’m in a state of panic right now! Can you blame me? My clothes are getting ruined. It’ll cost a fortune to redo these carpets, not to mention-”

Malcolm sighed, trying to press on as she chattered. It never did any good to argue, but this monologue wasn’t helping. “What color are your blankets?”

“Cream…embroidered with gold thread.” The vision in his mind began to fill in with color.

“And the pattern of the embroidery?”

“Really?”

“Messere,” Malcolm gritted his teeth. “It’s important you stay calm. The more you panic the faster the water will flood.” It wasn’t a lie, but he also needed her to hurry.

She relented with a sigh, and said, “a gold-leaf rose spread.”

It took a little more coaxing, but eventually Malcolm got her to describe her wallpapers, floral and pink, and her carpet, which she insisted before the flood was a beautiful white color. She also described a bookcase, her lute, and a vanity mirror where she would get ready for the day each morning, a family heirloom, made from wood of the grove of the Emerald Graves, with brass knob handles and the symbol of her family’s crest that was carved into the wood, that showed either two ravens perched in angular stone columns, or a dragon head, depending on how you looked at it. Soon he could see the room, and could finally solidify the flimsy connection.

He pressed his forehead against the bedroom door, eyes still closed, the hard metal cold and unforgiving. “Now I need you to walk up to your door and let me in.”

“Are you crazy?” she shouted so loud that Malcolm had to take his ear away from the receiver. “It’s going to let all the water in!”

“No,” Malcolm said calmly. “Because I will be on the other side.”

“You know that makes no sense.”

“You’re talking to a strange voice in your head, your room is flooded, and from my estimate about the cost of that vanity mirror alone, you live somewhere in Hightown. Does any of this make sense?”

This time she whined, which sounded more cute than annoying. “But I’m going to get wet.”

Malcolm burst out in laughter. He had run into a lot of dreamers, but while most were suggestive, she seemed to easily resist the strings connecting them. He could see deep into the pit of her heart that she was as stubborn as he was, which was saying something. It was intriguing really, but before his curiosity could run away with it, his sensible self reminded him that she was in danger. And with how long it took for him to find the location of her dream, the demon had now sensed him coming.

“Look, the door is locked, and only you can open it.”

“Can’t you just break the lock open?”

“Sure,” Malcolm said, “but that door represents the connection of your body to your slumbering mind. If I break it open, it would hurt…a lot.”

Silence filled the air except for the splash of rising water and the slurping noise of Scholar licking the last remnants of sauce from their bowl.

“You promise you’ll be on the other side?”

“Promise.”

She heaved a huge sigh and after a few moments, he could hear the sloshing of water as she started to wade her way through her bedroom, but Malcolm could not only hear it from the speaker, but the other side of the door as well. Malcolm shoved his phone back into his pocket and placed his hand on the doorknob that would normally be electronically locked, but right now, it was just another illusion of the Fade. As the lock clicked open, Malcolm turned the doorknob, blissfully unaware of how his life would change until he met the girl’s black doe eyes.

Read more on A03

#dragon age fic #da fic #hawke #malcolm x leandra #leandra hawke #malcolm hawke #my writing #It's finally here and I'm nervous as hell #I'm going to work on Chapter 3 after I feed my animals #Yes I'm in Chapter 3 #yes I can't stop writing #yes I need to do other things my life is falling apart

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neo-culture-mafia · 6 years ago

Text

내 실수

We were looking for an answer when we knew there wasn’t one to be found. “Don’t walk away when the world is burning,” his words echoed in my head. “for when you decide to come back, you’re going to act surprised that nothing is left.” it echoed. “Even though that’s one of the reasons you decided to walk away in the first place.” It haunted me now as I look back on everything that has happened.

Even with the iron curtain drawn across the family, I still felt connected. I knew everyone was connected deep down, even if not everyone wanted to admit it. It was a hard pill to swallow for some, especially when they were raised with no one. Now being thrown into this current situation, the boys were faced with following the right path: morally right path, or the path their heart was telling them to take.

Not even the stars in the current night sky could shine on the right pat- I coughed in the middle of my inner monologue. I looked over to see the familiar looking boy with that damn cigarette hung on his lips. “These are bad for you, dumbass.” I called taking the lit cigarette and rubbing the burning ash on the concrete floor we both sat on. Jaemin didn’t waste time in grabbing another from his coat pocket and shoved it between his lips. I just didn’t want to fight anymore.

He sucked air in through his teeth along with the toxic smoke. Jaemin’s eyes were closed in a euphoric state as he held the smoke in his lungs. His lips made the usual form to puff the smoke out. “Wanna drag?” He asked as he held the white devil stick out to me. I just shook my head no and continued to stare out into the night sky lit by the nearby city. I didn’t even bother looking up for there were no stars in sight.

“You good, y/n?” He asked and I can only shrug. “When am I not okay?” I asked looking at him and he nodded, taking another drag. “You should go back home.” He said looking for what I was so invested in.

I couldn’t answer because I didn’t want to be sent away anymore. He whistled, waving his hand in front of my face. “Yoo-hoo. Hello.” He said and I finally looked at him. “What?” I asked as if I didn’t hear his first request for me to leave. “I said, ‘You should go back home.’” He smiled very small, wanting me to feel better about the situation.

“Whatever.” I sighed as I stood up. I walked into the single room apartment and grabbed my backpack sitting at the feet of a passed out Jisung. “Leaving already?” Mark asked from the kitchen table that was illuminated .

The place smelled like boy, as wallpaper was tearing from the walls and tiling was practically non-existent. Every time I visited, Mark was always in that damn seat; stress lines and reading glasses seemed permanently etched into his face. Renjun and Jeno always sat with him, going over the same stack of papers as if they had missed something the first million read-throughs. Chenle and Jisung were always passed out in the ‘living room’ that ironically reeked of death and desperation. Hyuck and Jaemin were always out trying to find food or money. I...I just came around to make sure they were all breathing, even though I could tell that even that was getting tiring and a daily chore it seemed they were forced to do.

“Oh...yeah.” I nodded, finally realizing the question he was asking me. “I think he’s gonna want me back soon.” I sigh at the fact. “Well, let me walk you back.” He said getting up and lunging to his jacket before I could think over his request for more than a second.

“Oh...okay...I guess.” I mumbled the last part, trying to figure out what will happen once they see each other. In a matter of a minute, we were already running down the apartment steps to the quiet yet deafening street below. We began walking the way he always walked me back.

Yet, this time just felt awkward and almost emotional.

“...How’s my class doing?” He asked out of the blue. I had to think and register what he had just asked. Out of everything he could have asked, I was shocked he asked this small question. “Still asking when some of their teachers are coming back.” I shrugged, letting a sigh fall from my lips. He just nodded, but he would never tell me of the guilt he feels.

“Well...how are you doing?” He asked, and I could tell he was running out of ideas of things to talk about. “I...fine. I’m fine.” I nodded and he just nodded along with me. “How're classes?” He asked and I could only think of one word that came to mind: “Boring.” He just laughed at my lame excuse for academic work ethic. “Did you do your homework though?” He asked me as we walked up the small hill to the Neo Culture residence.

“Yep. Jisung helped with anatomy. Jeno help with Chemistry. Then Jaemin helped me with explosives.” I nodded, thinking of the incredibly smart boys that helped me only hours ago.

“Well, remember to eat and brush your teeth before bed.” He said and I could only nod and oblige by his request. In no time we were walking up the driveway to the cold residence that I could call home. Taeyong, Doyoung, and Johnny stood on the steps awaiting our arrival.

They reminded me of hyenas that stalked their prey for what seemed like hours before making their first move of attack. “You’re late.” Was all Taeyong said while looking at Mark, not even bothering that I was more than fully capable of walking myself home and staying a few minutes past curfew.

“It’s my fault...I didn’t want to leave.” I mumbled but still looked into Taeyong’s tired and cold eyes. “Why not? We made your favorite for dinner. Being prepared by the second. Kun’s in town.” Taeyong said and my heart began racing at the thought of Kun being home. Yet, I could hear the rate of Mark’s breathing pick up; yet he was for a different reason. He couldn’t come in and see Kun, or sit down with everyone and have a home-cooked meal like it used to be.

“Fresh and hot, waiting for your arrival.” Taeyong taunted, yet even though he talked of my presence; his words were like hot daggers laying into Mark’s psyche. I could sense the stare-off the two dominant-willed men were having only inches from my figure.

Doyoung and Johnny looked guilty as they had to keep their composure next to their leader. “Can’t Mark come in? He’s my guest.” I interjected as I stood in front of Taeyong’s stare. As if I was a gentle angel, his stare faltered to his usual warm and puppy-like nature. “Sorry bunny.” Taeyong said and I could only nod. “You understand: dinner is for the family.” He said and I could tell it hit Mark in the heart, but it also hit me in my own. Everything had fallen apart, and I could only watch from the safeness of behind Taeyong and the rest of the family. I couldn’t stop what had already been done.

“I didn’t want your food anyway.” Mark spat from behind you. “Then...shoo.” Taeyong said and motioned for Mark to leave the premises. You could physically see Johnny restrain himself from running to Mark and hugging him. “Y/n. Dinner. Now.” Taeyong said as he turned his back and began to walk inside.

I nodded, digging crescent-shaped indents into my palm to restrain myself. I turned around and didn’t waste time in throwing my arms around Mark. His waist was dainty and small in my arms, and I wanted to drag him inside and feed him the biggest bowl of food for I knew he didn’t eat to let the rest of his members eat and stay the slightest bit healthy...but I couldn’t.

“It’s okay. Go. Eat.” He rubbed my back. I could only nod, and make this easier for him. “I’ll see you soon.” He said beginning to walk away. He looked to Doyoung and Johnny. Johnny nodded, immediately walking in the house where he was obstructed from Mark’s tired and help-needing gaze. Doyoung nodded to Mark, letting him know he was here; not directly with him, but here.

Mark walked down the path and down the road until I couldn’t see his figure anymore.

“Y/n. Let’s eat.” Doyoung softly called. I walked up the stairs and into the supposed to be warm and welcoming house; now turned cold and uncomfortable. Doyoung grabbed my bag and set it down by the staircase. “Kun made your favorite.” He said as he comfortingly guided me into the dining room.

I took my usual seat, next to the 7 empty seats where my favorite people used to sit. And as I am served my first plate, I look around at my family; and I wonder how the rest of them are.

Even though I am seated next to Jungwoo and Jaehyun, nothing feels the same without Mark and Jisung sitting close to me though. Between Mark that sat across from me, always reading over my homework while everyone else chattered; Jisung and Chenle who always ‘accidentally’ flung food at my face, it seemed lonely. Not to mention the after-dinner ritual of talking to Renjun about space and aliens and the million and one possibilities of how the universe will turn out. Even when the constant bickering of Jeno and Jaemin seemed like absolute hell, I missed it.

They’re not dead, and I could visit them anytime that I wanted...but it just wasn’t the same when they weren’t a couple of feet away- a flick was made onto my forehead. I looked up and saw the whole table staring at me. “Sorry. Did someone need me?” I asked and they chuckled. “I asked if you did your homework yet?” Taeyong asked me as he popped a piece of food in his mouth, and the question hung in the warm and dinner filled air. I nodded quickly. “Of course...Jisung helped me with anatomy, Jeno helped with ch-” I cut myself off, as I realized I was speaking of basically forbidden people at the expense of Taeyong’s ears. I coughed a little, rejecting the thought of them at the moment

“...yeah...I got it done.” I nodded, saving the long answer for open ears that really wanted to know in the privacy of one on one time; where I didn’t have to say their names with a ‘tsk’ sound or the word ‘bastard’ followed after it.

“You don’t have to do that,” Taeyong sighed, speaking to me as if we were in the living room, but it felt more like an office. “-talking about them like they aren’t human, I mean.” He explained. I just nodded, feeling a small knot grow in my throat. I focused my eyesight at the food in front of me, trying to count the seasoning flakes on a single piece of sweet and sour pork.

“They’re still your family. It’s okay to talk about them.” Taeyong said and I shook my head slightly, repeating the cursed line that felt as if it was on repeat.

They’re still your family

Still your family

Your family

I nodded, not knowing what else I could do without blowing up at Taeyong.

Family? Only my family? They’re all our family...but we’re just hitting a rough patch.

“I’m full.” I stood up quickly. I turned towards Kun and bowed slightly. “Thank you so much for dinner.” I smiled at his shocked but understanding stare. He nodded, giving a warm smile.

“I’ll be heading to my room now. Goodnight.” I said bowing to the table and running up the stairs with my backpack haphazardly thrown over my shoulder.

I went up, and closed my door; immediately punching it out of protest. “Bullshit. They’re all of our family you two-faced asshole.” I said ripping my shirt off and getting dressed in comfier clothes. I face planted into my pillows.

Turning over, I was met with the stars Renjun and I threw up lazily with sticky-tac.

"I was always afraid of the dark...but the stars guided me home and lit the path for me to return safely," I spoke, recalling everything Renjun told me about the cheap stars stuck on my ceiling.

"Family are like stars." I breathed, wanting Renjun to be here to finish the saying, but I had to pull up my big girl pants and do it myself.

"You don't always see them..." I couldn't help a couple tears fall from my eyes as I felt so alone in this one moment.

"But you always know they're there."

MARK

I tried...so hard

➼ Text intermission ➼ Next chapter

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lonelypond · 5 years ago

Text

Moonlight Becomes You: Apocalypse Midnight Dance Party, Ch. 12

Love Live/Love Live Sunshine, NozoEli, KanaMari, NicoMaki, YohaMaru, 2.6K, 12/?

Summary: PARTY

And We Dance

Time Stamp: In the future the liberals want, as Dia Kurosawa wings across the Pacific enroute to an angelic encounter

Riko hated the initial surge of jealousy she got every time she and Sarah were invited to stay at the Kurosawa Malibu estate. She and Sarah had chosen to make LA their base, while Ruby and Leah spent most months in Japan. And when Ruby and Leah were actually in LA, Sarah and RIko just temporarily moved into the Malibu mansion so the Kazuno sisters could spend as much time as possible together and the Ruby-Leah duo could record without too much discomfort to the reclusive Ruby. Ruby’s mothers had built a state of the art recording studio on the grounds soon after their marriage and kept it updated as their careers merged.

The house was huge and gorgeous and well lit and had so many cozy romantic nooks it was practically a honeymoon getaway, except for the occasional interruption by Leah, who was literally the grumpy little sister third wheel. And sometimes, while sitting on a couch that cost a year’s worth of hit song royalties, Riko would get a twinge of envy, glance at Sarah, see the same echoed in her eyes, and then they’d both laugh. One of the things they’d initially bonded over was how callow they’d both been as teenagers, how selfish. To catch a flare of that now, just made Riko grateful for what she’d built for herself, a loving relationship, a successful, award winning career, and a cozy condo that required very little upkeep.

Restless tonight, Riko was wandering, mint tea in hand, staring at the Pacific, fuzzy oversized robe wrapped around sister friendly pajamas.

“PIGLI!” Ruby’s squeal of distress sounded and the tiny, cute redhead fell off the couch. Riko rushed to her side, mug left in front of the fire.

“I’m so sorry, Ruby. Are you all right?” Riko knelt near Ruby, careful not to encroach too much but ready to help.

Ruby nodded, shivering, accepting Riko’s touch. Sometimes, Riko thought, she was more like a small animal than a person, especially when startled. So unlike her parents, it was kind of amazing that they were...Riko shook her head at that segue, staying focused on Ruby. Riko had never made an effort to meet Ruby’s super famous mothers, for fear the blushing at the memory of the doujins she’d worn out during her teenage years would never stop.

Ruby sighed. Riko wondered if she should get Leah as she helped Ruby back to the sofa.

“Ruby had a nightmare.” Ruby’s childish way of referring to herself had somehow become endearing. And the fans adored her for it.

“Yeah, me too.” Riko sighed and sat down, “The world ended in flames, what was yours?”

Ruby yelped again and hid behind a pillow while Riko swallowed a curse. Wry was not a mood for a 3 a.m. session comforting your boss.

“I’m sure angels will save us.” Riko smiled.

“Okay.” Ruby looked confused.

“Want to talk about it?”

Ruby shrugged, “My sis is flying tonight. Ruby's just worried.”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine.” Riko stared longingly at her mug, across the room, but she didn’t want to disturb Ruby again. “And it’ll be nice for you to see her, right?”

More nodding.

“Want some hot chocolate? I think I saw some in the kitchen earlier.”

“Momma always keeps a stash for Eli.”

Another casual reference to a celebrity. Eli Ayase, now ran her own internationally renowned Legends of Dance festival, after a late leap into fame. The amount of talent and star power Ruby had grown up with, it was no wonder she had ended up in the entertainment business. But her shyness had made it a huge surprise to her parents, who had disappeared into seaside Japan with their family when Ruby started having panic attacks on their tours at the age of 2. Because family mattered more than anything. Friends and family were always Ruby’s first concern and that fit perfectly with the close bond the Kazuno sisters shared. It created a nice bubble of cozy around Riko, who had spent her youth with only the piano and yuri manga for company. Collaborating so easily with her girlfriend and the cutest idol duo on the charts made up for a lot of struggles.

BACK TO THE NOW

Yoshiko leaping, Yohane’s wings stretching upward, the shimmery, wavering layers of celestial spectrums opening above her, but weighting her, between her fingers, burning her hands, was the world, all of it, everyone, eyes and mouths open, billions of voices, every scream, Yohane looked down, she knew never to look down, but what surely be a mortal weakness tempted her and with horror, she saw the world slip out of her grasp, dropping, dropping to a dark dark doom.

Cold sweat, Yoshiko flew off her bed, literally, raised arm connecting with the ceiling before she came fully back to her senses. Alone, her bedroom, where was Hanamaru? Drifting back down, Yoshiko wrapped the blanket around her shivering shoulders, reading the note on Hanamaru’s pillow.

“Love,

Mari’s going to help You so I’m going along. I hope to be home before you have to read this. You really do look like an angel when you’re asleep.

‘Maru…”

Yoshiko closed her eyes. If she concentrated, maybe she could reach to her wife.

###

Pacing. Nico was going to be here soon, the ocean was in waves crashing mode, and through the open windows, Maki could see Mari and Kanan waltzing around the pool table. Waltzing? What the hell kind of thing was that to do? Especially to the playlist Maki had locked the sound system on. Did Nico dance? Who would lead? Is asking that question a reason you shouldn’t get to lead, Maki wondered. She threw out her arms, imagining Nico there, close to her, sliding in step, one, two, three...she’d taken dance lessons so long ago, just a couple for all the formal parties her parents had ‘encouraged’ her to attend. But she’d avoided the dance floor at all cost, unless her father insisted. Now that she was no longer a student, Maki’s family compromise was to attend the annual Nishikino Holiday Ball, but to limit her socializing to a favorite cousin and dragging Rin and Hanayo along. Hanayo loved celebrity spotting, but Rin was usually just as bored as Maki so they would throw things in the direction of any unattended punch bowls and dis the music choices. If Maki’s parents ever found out about that, they’d probably put her in charge of the playlist, but they seemed to be viewing the DJ business as a temporary vacation before med school.

Car lights. Maki felt a sudden fizz of excitement. Two sets? Was Nico being followed? Oh, maybe Nozomi drove her own car. That would make sense, everyone could leave at...Maki cast a frowning glance back at the house, surely Ohara and her cohort and maybe even the cop could be sent on their way, especially if she had Nico to back her up, surely Nico would back her up on that...but Nico had brought Eli along, did Nico actually want to party, or did she just not want to leave Eli alone. Was Eli going to...Maki started to jog toward the garage. Should she have removed breakables? Could she have just a minute to talk to Nico ALONE. Eli could break everything in the house if Maki could just manage that.

###

Yoshiko was in the air, again, blinking, and when gravity rediscovered her, she plunged, much like Dia, had, into water. But this was cold cold water, with the hard push of the tide trying to wash her away from the shore. The house Yohane had missed was lit at the top of a hill like a golden temple to sharp and terrible modern gods, all angles and glass. Yoshiko found her footing and pushed against the tide toward the shore, her eyes picking out a rock stairs leading to the temple where Hanamaru was a temporary goddess. Stomping did little to cut the shivers as Yoshiko climbed from the beach, fanning and flapping her wings while still out of sight of the house. Gnarled trees added an eerie air to the second part of the climb and Yoshiko felt a bounce in her step cut through the time lag nightmare sleepiness. Hanamaru was obviously being held in this dire fortress above against her will, by the very people who threatened their future, and Yohane, Yohane was going to sweep in and rescue the damsel...she would just have to remember not to tell Hanamaru she’d thought that, or Hanamaru would start to smoke at the nostrils a little and that might lead to property damage. Yoshiko, wings folded neatly into the ether just a step outside this world, continued the climb to her quest.

###

Maki managed to get out a “hi” when Nico stepped out of her car, but then there was Eli and Nozomi and…Maki couldn’t help but grimace.

Nico sighed and then winked, “Why don’t you point Eli and Nozomi in the direction of wherever the invasion is and then help Nico with this food.”

“You bought food?” Maki tried to lean into the car and sniff, but a window got in her way. Nico shook her head at Maki’s eagerness and reached for the door handle. Door handle, of course. Still stumbling, even standing still, Maki’s inner monologue grumbled. But Nico was here. And Maki didn’t have to go anywhere.

“How’s the party so far?” Nico put a stack of storage things in Maki’s hands.

Maki frowned, “They’re waltzing.”

“Waltzing?”

Maki leaned in the doorway, allowing Nico to pause and appreciate the view. Maki was wearing stylish yet slouchy olive sweats, a tight white t-shirt surprisingly lacking any graphics, and an olive Jeep cap pushed halfway back on her head with a rainbow dagger pin. “I locked Ohara out of the house sound system…” Maki chuckled, “and just put in a loop of John Cage pieces and they’re waltzing. Keeping a pretty steady beat too. If I weren’t so aggravated I’d be impressed.” Maki scratched her cheek, forcing her fingers to stay away from twirls of hair, “Do you waltz?”

Nico had started to bluff and bluster something about whoever John Cage was, but Maki’s question stopped her. “Waltz? Like La La Land?”

“Sure.” Maki blushed, looking away. ”I was thinking Cinderella.”

Nico was feeling more comfortable. “Waltzing is no problem for Nico. No problem at all. Nico is S U A V E and smooth on her feet. Impressing your average fairy godmother all the time.”

Maki glanced at her watch, “We could waltz to John Cage’s 4 33. I can hum it.”

Nico heard an edge of mischief in Maki’s voice and wondered exactly what the DJ was planning. But Nico was willing to go along. Leave the dishes on the hood of the car, arms open, step toward Maki, feel warmer when the redhead maneuvers herself so Nico’s hands hovered over her hips...Nico raised one hand and caught Maki’s, eyes widening at the burst of warmth as their palms brushed.

“Music, maestro.” Nico declared.

Nico found herself staring deeply into warmth, a lovely layered amethyst shades with an inviting openness and iridescence rarer than abalone. Movement brought Nico’s glance down as Maki pursed her lips and Nico remembered how close she’d gotten in the cabana. Nico could feel the gentle touch of Maki’s breath, but heard nothing and found herself stumbling as she tried to remember if a waltz was 1 2 3 or 1 2 3 4.

Nico stepped back, “It’s not fair to just hum the song to yourself.”

“I’m not.” Maki looked way too pleased.

Nico’s arms crossed, “You ask Nico to dance to a song and then don’t sing it…”

Maki’s eyebrows shot up and both hands went to her neck, ruffling through her hair. “It’s just...John Cage…” Maki closed her eyes and spoke rapidly, “it’s ambient sound, experiemental….you can use any instrument, you just don’t play it for 4 minutes and 33 seconds. It’s a brilliant alternate perspective on the meaning of performance. ”

“You don’t play. And that’s the song?” Nico spoke carefully. “It’s not a prank?”

Maki opened her eyes and nodded, refusing to look directly at Nico.

“What else did this genius write?” Nico was not thrilled.

“One of his pieces was whatever was playing on 12 radios. He thought listening was more important than creating.” Maki snorted, unable to keep the gleeful mischief from sparkling in her eyes. “They’re probably into Roaratoria by now. That’s an hour of Dublin street noise, with Cage reading some James Joyce lines.”

Nico blinked and a low chuckle started. “Ohara must really be aggravating you.”

“She is.”

Nico’s arm suddenly looped around Maki’s waist and the taller woman found herself grabbing Nico’s shoulders as she regained her balance. Nico took that opportunity to breathe into Maki’s ear, “Next time you want to waltz, Nico picks the music, okay.” And as soon as she felt Maki steady, Nico released her hold.

“Okay.” Maki managed not to sound as shaky as her breathing felt.

“Good.” Nico picked up the food, “Let’s join this party.”

###

Nozomi had always appreciated dance but she had rarely had the opportunity to appreciate it this closely. After walking into a truly bizarre audioscape, with a male voice chanting lines in the midst of seemingly random street noises, and seeing Kanan and Mari bowing themselves out of a dance while You lounged on a couch looking bored, Nozomi was ready for anything. And then something truly marvelous happened: Eli took the spotlight.

“Ah, Kanan, now you really have a partner.” Mari indicated Eli with a flourish.

Amused, Kanan shook her head at her wife, who clapped the heels of her hands emphatically, and then shrugged at Eli, “How’s your Irish reel?”

To answer, Eli stretched her right foot out and tapped it on the ground, stepped it behind her, stretched out her left leg and repeated the motion. The audio hit a noisy patch and Kanan was suddenly promonading toward Eli with a challenge. The blonde reached her hand up and caught Kanan’s, Eli twirling, and then both women were facing their audience, reel steps impossibly fast as the noises biggened, birds calling to each other as Kanan and Eli turned again, knees pumping, legs a controlled force that could possibly have splintered the floor but for a shared sense of gentle glory as the dancers approached each other again. You whistled. Nozomi felt a little weak in the knees, and sat on the nearest chair, and Mari, Mari flung out her hands, threw back her head, and marched right in, pulling Kanan into a deep kiss. Eli, with a slight grin, continued the dance as Maki and Nico walked through the door, carrying food.

“That’s not waltzing.” Nico grumped, “Maki said waltzing.”

“No, it’s an Irish reel.” Eli announced as she promenaded in Nico’s direction, her toes and knees intricate pistons making their own fluidity out of the jumble of a raucous Dublin street scape. Nico dropped the food on the table, and shadowed Eli’s movements, laughing, as she caught Eli’s delight.

Before Maki could decide if she was upset about Nico dancing away from her, thunder crashed through the room, the lights flickered bright, then died, and in the darkness, a deep voice boomed.

“Cower Before Yohane, miscreants.”

A mouth that sounded full of pastry replied, “Turn the lights back on, zura.”

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remedial-wit · 6 years ago

Note

For the ask thing: 4/7 (they're similar), 13, 22, 27 and 46 :D

!!!!! Thanks so much for asking me ^_^ (fanfic writers unite!)

okay so:

4/7: three authors that were influential and why/early influences on your writingimma try to keep this short cos it was 4 or 7, not 4 and 7.

so the first author that springs to mind is (and i feel awkward tagging cos its not like we’re mutuals but oh well) @veliseraptor who i’m pretty sure really kicked me deep into the asgardian whump writing pit (i was already there for reading but im feel like its cos of them i actually got into writing for the fandom). the next person i have to mention is @ozhawkauthor (who i also feel awkward tagging but yea) just because i started reading their work around the time i decided never to write fanfic again, but once i started reading their soulmate shorts my brain went !!!!! and then yea…in terms of published non fanfic authors: i should probably read more but sometimes i get so stuck in fanfic eheh

the last person i’m mentioning (because they cross over to both my questions )is my big sister @hellopurpletiger who really really inspired me to start writing from the very beginning. i still remember her reading me all her re-written chapters never posted and all the plans she had for her fics, and the first time she read me gakuen alice fanfic from ff.net in the car.

Last two early (kind of) influences!: my english teachers Mrs Tetley, and Mrs Larkin. i stan

nvm that was quite long ahaaa

13. Hardest character to write. idk i want to say either Hela (because i havent really made up my mind about her internal monologue yet), supergirl/Kara Danvers (because its hard to write angst which isnt about self-loathing, which is definitely not her defining mindset), and Luna Lovegood (and it really really pains me to say this because for a while there i had her down p well i think but suddenly i dont know how to write her anymore and thats annoying cos i know some people are still waiting for my Under the Moon series to update and ughhhh) anyways yea. this was a hard question, so thank you!

22. favorite story you’ve ever written.oh ouch… i dont want to choose between my babies! but… fine -_-… i probably have to say Like Smoke In The Air. probably because it felt like an actual substantial piece of writing and i managed to finish it (within the month no less!) And because i actually felt really in control when writing it, so it turned out how i wanted it to. for once. which was nice. :D (but i also want to mention Halfmud, Three Cheers, and a circle has no beginning, just cos i want to give them some more love :///) but yea, Like Smoke In The Air, probably.

27. best reviewohhhh this is a fun one! Ngl tho it took me a fucking long time to decide on one, but at the end i went with this. not the longest or craziest but just enough that i felt it was sincere and still gives me excited happy feels even tho it was years ago:

[text: Admiral higgenbottoms: Hello! I have been following this series and waiting for new chapters for a bit and I’m so sorry I didn’t review sooner. Any how, I am really enjoying this crossover. Luna Lovegood is my favorite character from Harry Potter and even though she was raised in the red room and is different, it’s still her. It’s still the Luna Lovegood I fell in love with in the books. She’s not lost herself in any of this and I just wanted to thank you for writing her so well. This whole series is really enjoyable, I’m sure I’ve cried a few times already and laughed even more. Thank you again for writing this and posting it up, I think you are doing an amazing job! You’re wonderful! ] (ff.net- Love is Blindness)

but also shout out to this person:

AND FINALLY … 46!!!.

Fic: Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea

(yes i enjoy fob)

The only thing in the Alignment Room is a toilet.

Apparently, it was installed after its fourth use because the late Allfather Bor realised how unpleasant clean-up would be, for those whose isolation therapy lasted more than five hours.

Loki’s isolation therapy has never lasted less than five hours.

Somehow, the smooth glazed clay of the toilet bowl feels warm to the touch against his back, even though his mind knows intellectually that it is just as cold as the rest of this room. But he supposes warmth is just relative.

It’s not bright, not at all, but the window slit provides an orange sort of glow to the room (and well, it’s refreshing to be able to see the blue of his toes)so Loki clambers awkwardly up to his feet to stretch his limbs and walk about, before the last of the light dies down.

The dimensions of the room are about four average-medium, Loki-sized footsteps by five, including the toilet. Which is ample leg room for laying down and just enough to properly exercise his muscles. He knows this as a fact. Did the maths and everything. Still – it doesn’t hurt to count again. Besides the dull ache of all this pacing is warming for his sole (and his soul too, apparently.)

It’s a simple layout. Quite ingenious really. Designed to be maddeningly effective. Four concrete walls. One with a toilet in the corner. One with a thick metal door, with a hatch that only opens from the outside. One with a horizontal slit at the ceiling, a silver of a window, barred from the outside and a pane of glass on the inside. A comfort though, for it allows whomever is staying to know the time of day.

He should be getting out soon anyway. Who will it be this time? Heimdall in his silent, disapproving witness. Or Fandral in his gloating and patronising, stupid, snivelling face. Perhaps Thor and his loud disappointment at how he expected better. At how Father expected better.

Which is dumb really? Expected better?

Come on.

Four out of five times, the person greeting him is mother, but she’s on some sort of trip with the other mothers. Something about developing her inner Seidr. Hopefully, it will be Heimdall or Sif because at least then it will be in silence.

#ask game!#yayyyyy

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philosworkbench · 4 years ago

Text

Meetings, Agendas, and why the best conversation spot at the party is always the kitchen

Re: my last long post about authenticity vs. polish. It’s hard enough to figure out how to have an authentic “monologue.” Building effective dialogue? That is a high-wire act.

When Bad Meetings Go Terrible...

I have been in my share of poorly run meetings and I’ve run them. Here are some of my favorite things to hate about meetings. You’ll see I left out saying “the facilitator is unprepared,” because a lack of preparedness and forethought underscores all of these.

The point of the meeting is unclear. No one really knows why they’re there. What do we expect to achieve?

Similarly, the expectations are unclear. Who is talking when? Are only the meeting’s organizers really talking? What are the unwritten rules?

Psychological safety is low. The attendees are there to cover their ass. They aren’t excited about what might be accomplished by their presence. They’re there because of what may be risked by their absence.

The facilitators have chips on their shoulders. They ask for feedback and then get angry when they hear it. They answer questions curtly; they make obvious signals to say “that’s not the conversation we came for.”

The facilitators are on the defensive. Maybe they called the meeting months ago and are now forgetting why they called it. Maybe they were supposed to meet with each other before the big meeting and never did. Regardless of why, they take every question like it’s a criticism. They speak in rapid circles. They act like they have to answer everything when they’re the only people who are expecting them to have an answer.

The facilitators are doing all the talking. (This is my personal weakness.) The facilitator asks a question and almost immediately starts giving their own answer “as an example.” This can be fear, which makes 5 seconds feel like 50. Or, it can be manipulation. “We as a group need to decide...” becomes code for “I need you idiots to agree to something I already know I want. So, lets ‘discuss’ it calmly.”

The participants are thrown in the deep end. The facilitator says, “we’re here to talk about x, so let’s get started...” What follows has no structure. It’s just unrefereed free-for-all for the full length of the meeting. No “let’s start with a breakout and then report back as a group.” No “here’s a brief presentation to remind everyone of where we’re at so far.” No “we’re covering these 5 questions today. We’re going in this order so these reasons.” Just the morass of “I was told to have a meeting about X, so I scheduled time, we’re here. Let’s talk about it.”

Good facilitation is no party. It’s work. But the best analogy I have for what you want to create as a facilitator is a party. Specifically, the kitchen of a party.

Why I Would Have Been Bad at Hosting and Facilitation in College

Full disclosure: I was pretty awful at parties in college. Not like a “I don’t party because I study so much and have carved out such a bright future” nerd. No, perish the thought. I was always the, “I hate my body, have undiagnosed anxiety, and don’t know I’m bisexual yet so I spend parties making Doctor Who references and speaking in a British accent. No thank you, I’ll keep my freakishly long overcoat on. Yes I will wear it the entire time. No, I am not comfortable. Are there snacks?”

As a college student, I was the epitome of a bad facilitator:

I hadn’t handled my own shit enough to help others set aside theirs

I was so focused on how I was coming off that I couldn’t see anyone else for who they were

I did things to make myself comfortable that specifically made others uncomfortable

I entered a shared space with no appreciation for how it operated and what the pre-existing cultural mores were

I came, expecting snacks, and never brought any

When I came to Chicago in my twenties to do improv comedy, I’d like to think I got better at parties. There were always improv parties at somebody’s apartment. Different rooms in the apartment would take on different personas:

The living room was the bit-fest where everyone kept trying to get funnier (and therefore louder) than everyone else, and of course, the music, which was also loud. (Yes, I thought loud music was unnecessary, even in my twenties. I have never, ever, been cool.)

The back porch was for smokers and those who hadn’t quite come into the party yet, or who hadn’t quite left. There was smoke and everyone was just about to go somewhere else. It was party purgatory. Partytory.

Bedrooms were for coats, hooking up, and the occasional board or card game.

Then there was always that weirdly shaped, new construction vs. old, hallway that was darker than it had to be. This was often where the “always on” improvisers would be doing something improv-y. A warm-up game. A free-style hip hop cypher. Or a hushed “deep” conversation about “the art.”

Then there was the kitchen.

But the Kitchen at an Improv Party Tho...

The kitchen at an improv party was absolutely my favorite spot. As I look back on it, it absolutely showed me how to facilitate a good meeting.

It’s the chill eye of the party hurricane. The problem with many work meetings is they carry the defeatist assumption that they should be as awful as the rest of work often is. Work can often feel too loud, fast, and chaotic. You’re dealing with everyone’s drama. Your inbox is a company’s worth of polite shouting. But then there’s your meeting. Each meeting can be a permission you give yourself (and your participants) to stop. You have something to discuss. There’s a dialogue. Take a breath and get everyone to do the same. Create shared understanding. Make a group decision. Turn that decision into armor and step back into the hurricane. (Is it good to wear armor in a hurricane? I have no idea.)

You can tell how much the host cares about their guests. A neat kitchen with plenty of bags of chips, etc.? Stacked bowls. Extra 2 liters of soda/mixers? ICE? (A host with enough ice for a big party is hero. QUILT THEM A CAPE.) Is the kitchen well-lit? Cozy? Are trash and recyclables being managed? None of that happens by accident. The facilitator who plans a thoughtful agenda that gives participants clear jumping off points for discussion and brings them back in for a safe, meaningful, and productive landing? They remembered the ice.

The only people there are adding to the experience. The unwritten rule of Chicago improv parties was that assholes always held court in the living room. They could be loud. They could vie for attention. They could make it all about them. But that didn’t fly in the kitchen. The kitchen was for dialogues, not diatribes. It was an authentic space where people could actually listen to each other. And people who were only there to be seen would quickly become uncomfortable in the kitchen, realize the rest of us weren’t having their one-person show, get their ice cubes or paper towels or whatever and GTFO. So be it. “We would have all such offenders so caught off.”

Not everyone is invited to a good meeting. Sorry ‘bout it. If everyone’s invited, it’s not meeting, it’s a panel discussion. They’re not participants, they’re audience members who sometimes speak up. You have to be clear about this. People like knowing what’s expected of them in a meeting. If you have 40 people in a room and say, “who has a comment?” make sure you’ve earned that with clarity. Everyone in that room needs to know what the program is about and what the real (usually unspoken) expectations are. I’ve made the mistake of planning a living room and telling myself it would be a kitchen. It sucks and people will only come to your next “party” if they have to.

The conversation follows its own logic, but it’s clear when it should change, and everyone lets it. The facilitator of the kitchen is a great listener, but also a great watcher. They’re looking for body language that says, “I guess, but I’ve used up my caring about this topic.” Time to pivot. Did you get what you needed? No? Too bad. Give people a new ally to go down and come back. No all elephants should be eaten at once.

The environment doesn’t scream, “stay here forever and don’t do anything.” No one is in the kitchen because it’s the most comfortable room in the house. The conversation is making them engage despite the room. This is why agile teams do their meetings standing. I’m not saying to go out of your way to make people uncomfortable, but try to get people closer together. Discourage multi-tasking. Do an icebreaker that actually builds emotional connections. Do things that pull people toward each other. Everyone sitting around the world’s largest table and leaning back in the world’s softest chairs are not in the kitchen.

You’re not quite sure whose apartment it is. Last thing. In the kitchen, the facilitator doesn’t make sure everyone knows they’re wearing a different hat than everybody else. The facilitator leads by popping a volleyball into the air just the right way. People smack it around. The volley lasts a while. When the ball finally hits the ground, it’s because that’s when it was time to happen. Everyone feels it. The facilitator was there to correct the ball’s path when it almost went out of bounds. But the players were always more focused on the ball than the facilitator. (Side note: the facilitator is also probably not always standing around saying, “How about that ball I threw in there? Did you see how I did that? Pretty snazzy! You’re welcome!”)

Okay, I’ve so far mixed every metaphor. Parties. Rooms of a house. Hurricanes. Volleyball. I had a really cool one about how best to hold a fencing foil, but that will have to wait.

Fine, Here’s your TL;DR:

The adept facilitator creates a space (literally, culturally, and contextually) for participants to be their full selves -- where they can really talk and really listen about what matters. The adept facilitator can only do this by getting out of their own way. If the facilitator hasn’t appropriately dealt with their own fears and needs, they will start co-opting the participants’ work from having the meeting they need to have, to making the facilitator feel better about the meeting that person wants them to have. Do the work, both on yourself and on your plan for a kickass meeting.

#facilitation #facilitator #improv #better meeting

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let-me-be-soft · 7 years ago

Text

Trying- Chapter 9

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug

Pairing: Alya/Nino

Summary:

After 5 years of a never ending battle with Hawk Moth, the Akumas suddenly come to a stop. For 4 months Paris seems like it’s finally at peace, but it may turn out to be only the calm before the storm. When Alya starts to hear a familiar voice, she realizes very quickly that Hawk Moth is far from gone. Alya must resist the temptation to discover the truth behind Ladybug, but as her life slowly falls apart around her Hawk Moth’s grip only becomes stronger.

AO3 Fanfiction.net

There was a knock on the door.

“Just a minute!”

Nino watched the news as he made his way to the door. Ladybug and Chat Noir were in the middle of an akuma battle and the flashes of orange and smoke told him that Volpina was there too.

He opened the door still facing the TV, “Sorry I was just-”

No one was there.

Nino frowned and looked down the hallway, “Hello?” He was the only person there and all the other doors were closed. Maybe he had imagined the knock?

He was about to leave when he caught sight of an ornate red box on Adrien and his welcome mat. He bent down to pick it up and looked around again. “Did anyone leave this?” He called out once more, but just like before no one answered.

With one last look from the box to the hallway Nino went back to his couch and shut the door behind him. The akuma looked like it was wrapping up a monologue while it held Ladybug and Chat Noir helpless. He was worried until the flash of orange jumped in between the and villain the heroes, freeing Chat Noir in the process.

With a quiet sigh of relief he picked up the box alternating examining the decor on the outside and glancing up at the tv.

Nino found the hinge and opened it as a reporter came on the screen.

There was a flash of green light and Nino shielded his eyes momentarily. When he opened them he saw a jade green bracelet sitting inside the box and a floating green creature peering down at him.

To Nino, the creature looked like something Alya would buy for her sisters. A cute plushie to hang on a keychain, and he was more confused by how it was floating then what it was, that is, until it began to move and talk.

“Hello Chosen,” The creature nodded it’s head in a deep bow, “I am Wayzz-”

Nino lept over the back of the couch and crashed onto the floor with a yelp.

“Chosen?” Wayzz floated to peer over the couch.

“Who-Who are you?” Nino grabbed a pillow and held it up as a shield.

“I told you I am Wayzz.” Wayzz seemed to be a little shaken.

“Where do you come from?” Nino held the pillow a little closer to the creature, “What planet? Are you here to abduct me?”

Wayzz was at a complete loss, “Chosen I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“What are you?” Nino was still hiding behind a cushion and let out another shriek as the creature floated through it.

“I’m a Kwami. A creature from another world who was granted access to yours to help humanity. I have served miraculous users for many many years and have been honoured to serve under guardians as well. You have been chosen to become the next miraculous user.”

“A what?!?”

Wayzz let out a short sigh and floated up over the couch, “Chosen look over here. See this TV where Ladybug and Chat Noir are fighting?”

Nino nodded silently, still a little frightened the creature was going to shoot laser beams or beam him onto a ship. Was he being a little crazy? Yes. But it wasn’t every day that a floating green creature with- Was that an antennae? No this was not normal. He was not acting crazy.

Wayzz looked at the frightened face of his chosen and sighed again, a little longer than the last one.

“Ladybug and Chat Noir have Kwami too. It is what gives them their power and their strength to fight.” Wayzz gave his chosen a gentle smile, “You have been chosen to wield this power too. The guardian and my previous owner has given me to you, to aid Ladybug and Chat Noir! To defeat Hawkmoth and save Paris! You are the next hero!”

“I’m a what?”

Wayzz forced himself not to sigh anymore, “If the Master chose you himself you must possess great talent and wisdom. Tell me Chosen, how much do you know of the miraculous?”

Nino’s blank stare and gaping mouth did not exactly inspire confidence in Wayzz.

“That is alright, these things can easily be learned. You must be a leader then! An excellent leader! Tell me Chosen what do you do for a living? Are you head a government or company? Do you perhaps lead people?”

Nino shook his head, “I’m a DJ.”

“Is this perhaps a breed of warrior?”

“No I play music. For people to dance to? At clubs?”

“Clubs? You play music to inspire fighting?”

“No!” Nino shook his hands finding his feet again, “It’s a place for people to go dancing. Dude I don’t do anything with fighting or leading. I think you're talking to the wrong person.”

Wayzz fell silent for a moment, “Could you perhaps be very athletic or strong?”

“No.”

“Maybe a good strategist?”

“I’ve never won a game of chess.”

“Maybe you are very charming? People like you a lot?”

Nino sighed, “I think you’re meant for my roomate. He fences and plays sports. He speaks something like 3 languages. He’s a model. You’ve probably even heard of him, Adrien Agreste. He’s the one that’s supposed to have all this power and strength or whatever.” Nino flopped down on the couch, “Guy deserves it too. He never got any of that freedom or power growing up. If you just wait around for a bit I’m sure he’ll show up. Hell, he’ll probably jump for joy when he hears this. He’s in love with Ladybug you know. Do you think you could set them up?”

Wayzz looked at his chosen who was smiling at him so sincerely. “Do you not want to be a hero?”

Nino looked at the Kwami in shock and then frowned in thought. “I don’t know. I guess it would be pretty cool. Who doesn’t want to be a superhero right? But I’m not the right guy for it, you should get someone who Ladybug and Chat Noir could use, not just some guy who thinks it would be fun.”

Wayzz smiled, “You are my Chosen. I see it clearly now.”

Nino raised an eyebrow, “Dude, I just told you all the reasons you shouldn’t pick me.”

“I am not the one who picks Chosen, the Master picked you for a reason, and he was right to wait to find you.”

“What? Why?” Nino sat up completely watching the smiling floating creature.

“You are a wise soul Chosen, and above that a kind one. You are the perfect match for me.”

“Wise? How am I wise? Dude I barely passed History in school!”

“Wisdom and knowledge are two different things Chosen.” Wayzz seemed to humm in glee as he spoke, “And your wisdom is the kind that hides deep inside and is shown through your every word and gesture.”

Nino wondered absently if eating pizza in his pajamas so that his clothes didn’t get stains counted as wise.

“I’ll take your word for it little green dude.”

“You will see soon enough Chosen.”

“Stop calling me that. Just call me Nino.”

“Your name is Nino?”

“Nino Lahiffe.”

Wayzz seemed to smile even larger at that and Nino watched on in confusion, “What? What did I say?”

A noise akin to a giggle left Wayzz, “You are the perfect chosen Nino. What luck the master found you.”

“Ladybug, how do you explain the sudden increase in Hawkmoth’s attacks on the city?”

Ladybug stood beside the reporter looking as professional and serious as she frequently was these days. When Alya was 15, Akuma attacks would happen maybe once a week, sometimes even longer apart, but after the 4 month hiatus of Hawkmoth, he returned with attacks happening twice a day sometimes. Paris was worried. Ladybug was worried. Alya was panicking. The voice in the back of her head came back every once and awhile, it would ask her again and again who the girl who sat beside her was, and even if her curiosity wanted her to remember something kept her from the answer. Maybe it was Fanna, maybe the Kwami knew that the answer would destroy them all.

Alya figured that it was something important, or Hawkmoth wouldn’t bothering with her brain so much. It was getting harder to keep him out. She still didn’t have a job, and with her roommate gone she needed to alter her living situation. She could feel him pushing at her thoughts when they would turn negative. As such she constantly distracted herself. She would spend almost every day with Nino, she would go with him to work, she would go for runs in the park, or train with Fanna. She always had to be doing something.

“We’ve never seen Hawkmoth so active. But this can also be our advantage, he’s getting bolder which means he’s getting more desperate. It won’t be long until he makes a mistake and when he does. Chat and I will be there to catch him.”

Chat Noir beamed beside Ladybug giving the camera a wink.

“But with the number of the attacks increasing aren’t you worried that you yourselves might slip up? Are we really any closer to finding Hawkmoth and ending him for good?”

Currently Alya was lying on Nino’s couch waiting for him to come back from “an emergency at work.” She wasn’t completely sure what emergencies could happen at a club that her DJ boyfriend could help with, but he had offered her a couch and a TV instead of going back to her apartment where she felt completely alone. At least Adrien was in the kitchen humming about something. It felt a lot warmer here then at her place.

“Chat Noir and I can handle anything Hawkmoth throws at us.”

“M’Lady is right. We can handle Hawkmoth, he hasn’t won in 5 years.”

Adrien walked in from the kitchen a bowl of carrots with hummus in one hand and a plate with two hot dogs, cheese and crackers, and apple slices. He plopped himself down on the couch and started eating, “Is this the akuma fight from before?”

“Yeah,” Alya stole a carrot and dipped it in hummus, “they just beat the akuma and Ladybug’s taking questions.” She reached over to take one of the hot dogs before Adrien hissed, “You have two!”

“Their mine!”

Alya took it anyway. She lived with an honest to god fox, Adrien hissing like a housecat didn’t scare her.

“Hawkmoth has never been this strong before, the people know your track record is good, but with things changing so rapidly can just the two of you handle him?”

Ladybug’s eyes narrowed and anger flashed across her face, Chat looked a little taken aback as well.

“I think-”

Ladybug was interrupted by a laugh and a toothy grin from Volpina, “Well it’s not just the two of them. They always have me to save their butts if things get rough.”

The news reporter turned her attention to the orange hero who had her flute hung over her shoulders, “Volpina do you think your presence helps the heroes stand a better chance against Hawkmoth?”

Volpina grinned, “I hope to be of service to Paris’s Dynamic Duo and the great city itself.”

Ladybug rolled her eyes. Alya let out an annoyed noise which Adrien looked confsued to hear.

“Does this mean Volpina will be joining the team?”

All three heroes opened their mouths but Ladybug spoke first.

“Chat Noir and I are as we always are, a duo.”

You could see Volpina’s face fall as Ladybug spoke, and beside her Chat Noir looked defeated.

Alya’s face was twisted in a mixture of hurt and anger, “I can’t believe Ladybug did that.”

Adrien looked to his friend with a sigh, “She’s under a lot of pressure, I’m sure Volpina showing up and bragging didn’t help.”

“What does she expect? Volpina has saved the pair of them more than a few times already!”

“I thought you were the number one Ladybug fan?” Adrien joked awkwardly.

Alya seemed to be thrown off a little, “Yeah… Maybe you can be a fan and still disapprove of somethings…” She forced a laugh.

“I get that.” Adrien watched as Ladybug swung off screen and as he followed leaving Volpina behind in front of the cameras. “I wish he would stand up to her. It’s clear he wants to talk things out with Volpina.”

“Chat?” Alya turned to look at her friend, she gave him a sad smile, “I thought you were the number two Ladybug fan?”

Adrien grinned, “I’m a Volpina fan too. She deserves more credit than she’s getting.”

“You know the inside scoop do you?” Alya joked, laughing as she changed the channel.

Adrien laughed along trying not to seem too suspicious.

“Does the outfit have to look like this?” Nino asked still staring at himself in the reflection of the pond in the park. “It’s just so green! And no offense little dude, but spandex isn’t the greatest armor. Aren’t turtles known for their armor?” He let out a deep breath, “Ok. So I can summon the shield thing right? Do I just think about it?” More deep breaths, “Take out your shield and block.” Nino had his eyes squeezed shut holding onto the shield for dear life. Nothing happened. “Wayzz just come back this isn’t working.”

The green Kwami appeared again in a flash of green, “Master- I mean Nino. You must project your energy around you, you must protect yourself with it.”

“Sorry Wayzz, that makes no sense to me.”

Wayzz sighed and dropped on Nino’s shoulder, “Let us call it a night.”

“Sorry dude… I didn’t mean to disappoint.”

“No, no, you haven’t Chosen. It takes more time for some to master this technique. You could try meditation. One of my chosens a hundred years ago struggled as you are. He dedicated himself to a regime of meditation and silence for weeks on end.”

Nino tried his best not to make a face, “That sounds fantastic.”

The walk back to the apartment was filled by Wayzz’s ideas for awakening the awareness of Nino’s energy. Finally they reached the apartment and as Nino pulled out his keys Wayzz took their place in his pocket.

“Nino!” Alya jumped up from the couch and tackled him in a hug.

“Hey babe!” He laughed and returned the gesture. “What’s the giant hug for?”

“Just missed you.” Alya grinned.

“And that’s my cue to leave.” Adrien made a face.

“We’ve scared away your roommate.” Alya said with a laugh.

“Just wait till he gets a girlfriend, then he’ll get back at us.”

Adrien gave them the finger and hid a grin before closing the door to his bedroom.

Alya grabbed a beer from the fridge, “Hungry?”

It was 10pm but Nino was starving.

“Here I already bought snacks.” He lifted the grocery bags and put them on the counter.

Alya opened one of the bags and pulled out a jar of walnuts, “Since when do you like walnuts?”

Nino stiffened, “What since always! Maybe not always, but I like them! A-Adrien likes them too! So I figured why not buy a bulk supply! Just two dudes eating nuts you know?”

Alya looked up at him in confusion, “What the hell are you hiding?”

“Hiding?”

“You’re not making any sense!”

“What?! I’m making perfect sense!”

“Two dudes eating nuts.”

“Ok, bad wording.”

Alya laughed and jumped up to sit on the counter next to him. “So what are you hiding?”

“Nothing.” Nino moved away putting the other groceries in the fridge.

“Well clearly something is bothering you.”

“I’m fine Alya jeez, can’t a guy be just fine without being bombarded with questions?”

“Whoa, calm down Nino.” Alya got up and followed her boyfriend to the couch. “I’ll drop it if it bothers you so much.”

“Nothings bothering me!”

“Ok!”

There was silence between the two of them until Nino sighed, “I’m sorry… I’m just tired.”

“It’s ok.” Alya reached out her hand towards his.

He looked up at her and wrapped an arm around her torso, “I love you.”

Her eyes widened and softened, “I love you too.” She gave him a gentle kiss before standing up.

“Where are you going?”

“To get food. You ran off before I could eat anything.”

Nino smiled and followed her to the kitchen. He wasn’t sure he could keep Wayzz a secret for very long.

Marinette was forcing herself to take deep breaths.

“Marinette you’re over reacting.”

“Am I?” She ignored Tikki’s attempts to calm her down and kept pacing. “Master Fu has given his miraculous ot someone else! He’s defenseless without it!”

“Marinette-”

“This is all my fault, if the Master had more faith in me then he wouldn’t feel like he had to add someone new to the team. If only I had anything to show him how we can defeat Hawkmoth. But I don’t Tikki! It’s all my fault, I’m a terrible leader! Five years of fighting the guy and I still don’t know anything about where he is or who he is!”

“Marinette Please calm-”

“The attacks are getting stronger Tikki! What if Chat and I can’t handle it? Even with the new addition?”

“Marinette!”

Marinette looked over at her Kwami, water welling up in her eyes.

Tikki sighed, “Marinette it’s not your fault. Master Fu knows you’re doing everything you can, and it’s his decision to give up the miraculous. He’s just doing the same thing as you, he’s trying to protect Paris.”

“Tikki, he’s in danger without Wayzz.” Marinette’s voice was quiet as she tried to blink away tears.

Tikki’s little antennae drooped, “I know.”

“What if Hawkmoth-”

“Hawkmoth won’t know he doesn’t have the miraculous until the new miraculous user surfaces. Besides,” Tikki smiled a little, “He has us to look out for him.”

Marinette gave a smile and nodded. She wiped away her tears with the heels of her hand, “I guess I should be doing more productive things with my time.”

Tikki smiled, “Marinette, I think you could use a break. Why don’t you take a nap instead?”

“I can’t Tikki, I should be training or researching.” Marinette eyed the bed and tried to resist temptation.

“Marinette. You’re no use to Paris if you’re too tired.”

Marinette crawled into bed and turned her phone on silent. Tikki was an ancient god creature, she was bound to be right most of the time.

“Hi! It’s Marinette, I can’t come to the phone right now so please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”

“Hi Mari! It’s Alya. I was just wondering if I could talk to you sometime soon? I just feel kind of weird talking about it on your voice message. Just call me back as soon as you can.”

Alya carefully balanced the box of pastries with two coffees on top of them so that she could hit the buzzer to Marinette’s apartment.

“C’mon sleepy head, answer the door.” She muttered to herself. With a sigh she got out her phone and dialed.

“Hi! It’s Marinette, I can’t come to the phone right now so please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”

The message Alya left on Mari’s phone involved a prolonged and loud noise of frustration followed by a series of complaints about sleeping in, then a few threats about eating all of the chocolate croissants.

As Alya hung up she saw a man leaving the building with his dog.

“Wait!” She moved as quickly as she could while balancing her drinks and food, “My friend lives in apartment 5 b and won’t answer her phone, she’s probably asleep.”

“Just go ahead, I think I saw you help her move right?”

“Yeah! Thank you!” She ducked inside the door and pushed the button for the elevator.

Today was a good day. She hadn’t had a Hawkmoth mind moment, she had gotten a good night’s sleep without it, she was going to have delicious pastries with her friend, and her dad and her were going to get dinner together. It was going to be a good day, one that was long overdue.

Still humming the song that was playing in the elevator she arrived at Marinette’s door.

No one answered.

Alya banged a little harder on the door.

Not even a sound.

“This is pointless.” Fanna flew out of Alya’s coat pocket and straight through the door lock.

“What?” Alya watched as the door swung open and Fanna grinned, “Jesus Christ Fanna! You can’t just go breaking into people’s houses!”

“Keep it down or she’ll wake up! Now what are we stealing?”

“We are not stealing anything!” Alya said in a harsh whisper, “We are having a talk when we get home.”

Fanna stuck out her tongue, “Catch me first!”

“What? No!” Alya put the food down on the kitchen table and chased after the tiny floating fox.

Fanna snickered and floated through the wall to Marinette’s bedroom.

Shit shit shit

Alya slid down the hall and opened the door looking around wildly for the Kwami.

If Alya had not been looking for her Kwami she might have seen Marinette’s who was asleep beside her chosen’s pillow. Luckily for Marinette the door opening woke her up and in her frazzled state she managed to spot Tikki and throw her blankets over her.

“Alya what the hell!? How did you get in here?!”

“You’re door was unlocked and I-I wanted to make sure you were ok cause you weren’t answering your phone or the buzzer.” Alya gave a weak smile eyes still darting around the room for the little shit of a kwami.

“I thought I locked it.” Marinette grabbed her phone, “4 missed messages and 20 texts.” She raised a quizzical eyebrow at Alya.

“Hey, they weren’t all me.”

“What are you doing here?” Marinette got out of bed careful to make sure Tikki wasn’t revealed.

“I brought food and coffee.” Alya laughed awkwardly at the annoyed frown on Marinette’s face, “I’m getting the feeling you’re mad.”

“I thought you outgrew your barging into people’s room phase when we finished high school.”

“Sorry about that. Just with all the attacks and stuff you never know.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Marinette felt another wave of guilt that had been hitting her last night. She sighed, “You mentioned food?”

Alya gave her a genuine smile.

Marinette took one of the chocolate croissants before Alya could steal them all, and despite having not seen each other in over a week, it was like they had never spent anytime apart.

“I swear he is the dumbest guy I’ve ever met.” Marinette took a sip of her coffee as Alya laughed.

“Maybe he’s just nervous around you. You do have that effect on guys.” Alya wiggeled her eyebrows.

Marinette laughed and tried not to spit her coffee anywhere, “No one drops scissors on their feet 3 times because they like someone.”

Alya shrugged, “I make Nino’s jaw drop sometimes, you make his scissors drop.”

Marinette laughed again mouth free from hot liquids, “How is Nino?”

“Good.” Then Alya frowned, “He was acting kind of weird yesterday though.”

“How so?”

“Well he bought this giant bag of walnuts on his way home from a “work emergency” and then freaked out when I mentioned them.”

Marinette frowned, “That is weird.”

“He was all wiggy.” Alya took another sip.

“Well did you ask, or did you Alya ask?”

“I did not interrogate him.”

“Well how did you ask it?”

“I just said, since when do you like Walnuts? And then he goes on about he bout them cause Adrien likes them and he said something like, we’re just two dudes eating nuts.”

Marinette laughed, “Two dudes eating nuts?”

“That’s what I said!” Alya’s arms were talking with her words and she had to set down her coffee in order to finish the story, “So I asked him what he was hiding, because the way things were going I was expecting him to be having an affair with Adrien or something.”

Marinette laughed again.

“You laugh Mari but living together has made those boys into a married couple.”

“They fight?”

“No like the old married couple that finishes each others sentences.”

Marinette laughed again.

“Ok laugh it up girl, but you keep your boyfriend away from mine yeah?”

“We’re not dating Alya. We’ve actually become good friends.”

“Uh huh” It was Alya’s turn to laugh.

“Seriously!”

“Then what’s with all the secret rendevous at that massage parlor?”

“What?”

“You know when he walks in and then you walk in or whatever.”

“What are you talking about.” Marinette searched her brain to remember if she had seen Adrien around the shop, “There was just one time where I ran into him, but he was leaving.”

“Then you must be more blind then I am, because I have seen you walk into the massage parlor and then him go in about 10 seconds later.”

What did this mean? Was Adrien involved somehow? Master Fu had said not to worry about him but clearly he was involved. Could he be working with Hawkmoth? No he couldn’t, he was too goofy and sweet. He would never hurt anyone even if they deserved it.

“Marinette? Everything ok?”

“It’s fine! These croissants are so good!”

“Why are you changing the subject?”

“I’m not. I don’t know why Adrien was going to the massage parlor.”

“Maybe it’s because he likes you,” Alya winked.

“We’re friends. Can you just drop it?”

“Is it something else then? Something more mysterious? Are you hiding a double life from me or something?” Alya laughed.

“Alya just drop it!”

There was quiet between the two of them.

“Sorry. I didn’t realized it bothered you that much.”

Marinette tried to turn off all the alarm bells in her head that kept screaming “She knows you’re Ladybug! She knows!”

“Hey Mari? I know you didn’t get my message, but I was wondering if you’ve thought about getting a roommate?”

“A roomate?”

“Yeah. You’re in school, it’ll be easier to pay rent. Plus there’ll be someone to make sure you lock the door.” Alya laughed nervously.

“Alya-”

“I have an empty room at my apartment if you don’t think this place is big enough, but honestly Mari, you could just use that extra work space to make a bedroom.”

“Alya, I don’t wnat a roommate.”

“Mari-”

“I just need to live on my own ok? I’ll let you know if I change my mind but till then-”

“I need a roommate.”

“What?”

“Mari I have no job and no roommate and my rent is due soon. I don’t know how long I can keep up with all this.”

“Alya-”

“I know you don’t want a roommate and I’m really sorry to keep asking, but I need a hand here.”

“Then go online and look for a roommate!”

“I’ve been looking!”

“Alya the answer is no!”

“Why not? Would us living together really be so bad?”

“Why don’t you ask your boyfriend to move in with you then?”

“Stop avoiding the question. Why don’t you want to live with me?”

“I just want my privacy!”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You are single handedly the most nosy person I know Alya! I love you for it, but I can’t live with someone who’s always going to be asking me questions about where I’ve been, or what I’m doing!”

Alya was silent.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean it to sound like that.”

“It’s fine I get it.”

“Why don’t you ask Nino?”

“I don’t know.”

“Alya!”

“Because I don’t know if I’m ready for that!”

There was another pause and Alya took a sip of her coffee. Marinette frowned, “You don’t know if you love him?”

“I love him. I do. I just… What if we break up again Mari? It happened before what if we break up and we have to decide who keeps the apartment? What if moving in together is what breaks us up?”

“You’re afraid to commit is that it?”

“Well not all of us fall in love with the first model we see and decide we’re gonna marry him.”

“I-” But Marinette didn’t know how to respond.

Alya wasn’t sure how they ended their conversation, it died out into quiet thought as they both finished their breakfast. Then Marinette thanked her for the visit and politely smiled as Alya walked out the door. Fanna was safely back in her pocket and she could feel Hawkmoth in the back of her mind.

Who sat there? Who’s seats were always empty?

Alya wanted to answer, just so he would shut up and leave her alone, but she didn’t. As much as her dislike for Ladybug was growing, she couldn’t just betray her.

“Wayzz, I’m giving you all the walnuts in the world when we get back home.”

The suit, which used to be tight and thin just like ladybugs, was now slightly looser and a darker colour of green. Wayzz had put knee, elbow and various other pads made of a hard material Nino couldn’t name.

He wasn’t sure but he swore he could feel the kwami smiling proudly in his head.

“Ok, let’s go help Ladybug.”

Nino started a very slow descent from the top of the building he was on, but when he touched the ground he took off running towards the sounds of the battle.

You can do this. You were chosen.

Above him he saw a familiar flash of orange. Volpina was a block ahead of him, easily leaping from building to building as if the fear of death no longer had a hold of her. Nino was beginning to wonder just how crazy Ladybug and Chat Noir were. He had always thought they must have been partly indestructible, or that they had superpowers beyond that of lucky charm and cataclysm, but no, it really was just the miraculous. He was wearing the same suit as they were and he was not indestructible. Was he the only one who felt a wave of fear every time he found himself on a rooftop? Were these people insane? How in the world did Ladybug swing from a tiny wire and not fear that it would snap at any given moment. And Volpina and Chat would just run along the rooftops and jump between them!

Nino took a deep breath and prepared himself as he turned the corner. There in the middle of the street was an akuma breathing fire on the shops of Paris.

Fire. Fire was a very real threat. Plus he was a turtle, turtles live in the water they were weak to fire. So maybe that was Pokemon logic but the reasoning still held up.

You can do this! You were chosen! Let’s go!

He hoped Wayzz couldn’t hear his mental pep rally and took off again moving towards the akuma.

“I am The Dragon!” The dragon let out another blast of fire and Nino lifted up his shield to cover himself. “You laughed at me, but now you will feel the wrath of fire!”

Nino poked his head above his shield when the fire and saw the giant creature with its fists around Ladybug.

“Ladybug!”

The dragon looked towards him, “Who are you? Some sort of tiny dragon?”

Nino looked his outfit up a down, “Not really. I was going more for turtle.”

“I don’t have time for tiny turtles!” Ladybug struggled to get her arms free as the dragon opened his mouth and moved her closer.

Shit shit shit

“Up here!”

The akuma and Nino looked up to see Volpina standing on the roof above them.

“Or am I over here?” Another Volpina was across the road in an alley.

“You’ll have to catch me.” There was a giggle as another Volpina dashed across the street near the akuma’s feet.

The dragon gave a roar and dropped Ladybug, chasing after the orange fox. Nino sprung forward in an attempt to catch the falling hero.

“Sorry I’m late M’lady.” Chat Noir looked a little too pleased that Ladybug had fallen from the sky so he could catch her.

“I should hope so.” She grumbled as he let her down.

“Who’s this?” Chat turned his attention to Nino, who was still standing awkwardly in his catching position.

“Oh!” He jumped back up into a solute, “I’m- uh- well I don’t have a name yet- but it’s good to meet you sir-”

Chat laughed a little and Ladybug hit him, “Don’t worry about a name yet.” She said kindly, “Master Fu already explained to me he chose a new miraculous user. It’s good to meet you.”

“Uh- Likewise!”

Chat threw him a grin, “What can you do Turtle Boy?”

“I have this shell… I’m supposed to be able to make a force field but I can’t seem to get it yet.”

“Don’t worry,” Ladybug gave him another kind smile, “We need help getting the citizens out safely. Your shell will be perfect for that.”

Nino nodded and ran to the nearest shop.

Above them Volpina after Volpina was being smashed or grabbed, all of them turning to smoke. People were cowering behind the counter and under tables.

Ladybug caught her breath as Chat lead the Dragon away from their new teammate.

None of their attacks seemed to be doing any damage and Chat had already used his Cataclysm. She needed to find where the akuma was hiding. There was only one problem, the akuma didn’t have any objects on it.

“M’Lady,” Chat ran up beside her, dodging another breath of fire, “What’s the plan?”

“Keep leading him away from the civilians, we need to make sure they’re safe while we look for where the akuma is hiding.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

Volpina was ducking in and out of shops trying to create diversions for people to leave, she could see the new hero leading groups of civilians out of shops using his shield to protect as many as possible. The shield was only so big and Volpina new they would need something else to help them get out.

Volpina ran under the feet of the monster, “Hey over here!”

The dragon looked around for the voice and spotted the orange hero, “Little fox! You are no match for a dragon!”

The akuma lifted its foot and tried to stop on the orange blob beneath it.

“You missed!” The fox hero stood to it’s left with her tongue out in a taunt.

The dragon roared again and tried to squash her.

Ladybug had already called upon her lucky charm which was a heavy arrow. She was still looking around trying to figure it out when Chat ran up beside her.

“Chat? Who’s distracting the akuma?”

“Volpina.”Chat panted pointing to the superhero as she expertly danced around the creature's legs and ducked under it’s fire. She kept her eyes on the group of civilians the new turtle hero was escorting and made sure to stay clear of the group until they were gone.

“She’s helping us?” Ladybug wanted to distrust her, or tell Chat that she could be working with the Akuma, but there it was plain as day. Volpina was risking her life to protect the people of Paris, while Ladybug was stuck on a roof wondering what to do. Her heart sunk, the reporters were right. Paris needed someone new to protect it.

“LB?” Chat waved a hand in front of her face, “Giant dragon remember?”

“Chat- I don’t know what to do!” Ladybug could feel the panic rising inside of her, everyone else had a task and they were doing all they could, but she was stumped. Chat could see her eyes well up with tears, “I don’t know where the akuma is! I don’t know how to defeat it!”

“Ladybug-”

“None of our attacks are working we need to evacuate the city!”

Chat Noir grabbed her shoulders and met her gaze, “Ladybug! I think I know where the akuma is hiding!”

“You what?”

Chat grinned with glee and pointed to the dragon, “Look at his stomach, one of the scales looks different.”

“I don’t follow.”

“It’s the only thing that’s different, why else would it be like that.”

“I still don’t understand how the arrow is supposed to help.”

“Ok, so you got an arrow?” Chat went to look at the spotted object. The point of it had a slight spiral, but other then that it looked completely normal. “Ok. Nothing we’re throwing at it is doing anything right? We have this arrow, but we don’t know if it’s gonna kill it or even hurt it at all.”

“Chat I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“I got it! I’ve seen this arrow before!”

“You what?”

“They’re smaug!”

“Who?”

“The dragon from the Hobbit! He had one scale that was missing because it was shot with an arrow, and it was the only place that could be damaged!”

“So when you say you’ve seen the arrow before?”

“It was in a movie yes.”

“What did they do in the Hobbit?”

Chat’s eyes shone with glee, “They fired the last arrow at the dragon’s missing scale.”

Ladybug looked at him incredulously, “You want us to do what?”

Volpina was still ducking in between the dragon’s feet. Crash and a jump away to avoid a giant scaly paw. Another crash, and another.

“I have you trapped now little fox.” The dragon smirked and it’s loud voice broke into a cackle.

“Do your worst.” The Hero stood proud.

Nino didn’t know he could move so quickly. The dragon lifted its paw and brought it down as hard as it could on Volpina. Nino jumped in between the two and raised his shield. He willed the power Wayzz was talking about to come, he held his shield tight and pushed with all of his might against the dragon. And then suddenly he hit the ground and felt his shield cut slightly into his side.

In the moment that Nino threw himself in front of Volpina three things happened. The first was the real Volpina tackling the ametuer hero to the ground and away from the dragon’s foot. The second was the fake smoke Volpina disappearing as the foot hit the ground, and the third was a brief flash of orange as Fanna took over her chosen’s body.

Nino heard a scream and looked behind him to see a woman with sharp pointy teeth like Volpina pinned underneath the foot of the creature. He scrambled up ignoring the pain in his side.

“Volpina?”

Fanna hissed in pain, “Get me out.”

There was a roar from the dragon and Nino quickly grabbed hold of the woman and pulled her from under the dragon’s foot as it stumbled back. He bent down low and scooped her into his arms running towards a near alley.

“Who are you?”

“My name is Fanna.” Said the woman as she held tightly to his arm and hissed in pain, “I am Volpina’s kwami.”

“Her Kwami?” Nino’s eyes widened as he ducked behind a dumpster. He put the woman down gently and looked at her leg. It was definitely broken.

“Yes. When you jumped in to protect one of her smoke creations, she jumped in to save you, so I took over to protect her.”

“What do you mean?”

Fanna let out a small cry of pain, “I don’t have time to explain everything. You need to leave, I need to switch with her again.”

“I-”

“Go!”

Nino ran around to the other side of the dumpster and looked back to see a flash of orange. He should go back. He should thank her for saving his life. He should help her. He got a little closer to the dumpster.

“Can I help?” He asked, taking another step.

“I think you’ve done enough.” Volpina responded.

“I’m sorry.”

“Go help your teammates. I hear they’e looking for help as long as it’s not me.”

“I-”

“Go!”

So Nino sprinted in the other direction and back towards the fight.

When he got back the dragon was gone and a little white butterfly was flying away. Beside Chat Noir was a very frightened man clutching a small book.

“The hobbit?” Nino glanced at the cover.

“It’s one of my favorites.” The frightened man said looking around him at the destruction, “I’m so sorry I didn’t mean-”

“It’s alright.” Ladybug patted the man shoulder gently, “Hawkmoth is to blame here, not you.”

The police, paramedics and firefighters had arrived, and the man was handed to them and wrapped in a blanket.

“Never thought I would say it, but thank god you’re a dork Chat.” Ladybug gave him a smile and Chat Noir beamed in response. She turned her attention to Nino, “Thank you for your help. What should we call you?”

“Me?” Nino pointed to himself, “I- uh- I don’t know. All of this is still pretty new and crazy to me.”

“I like turtle boy.” Chat joked, giving Nino a smirk.

“I don’t.” Nino gave Chat an annoyed look, “How did you guys chose your name?”

Ladybug thought for a second, “I look like a ladybug…”

“I’m a cat, who is black. So Chat Noir.”

Nino didn’t know if he had been expecting a better answer or not.

Suddenly there were reporters and flashing lights as camera’s went off.

“Ladybug, can you comment on why this akuma managed to cause so much damage to the city?”

“The akuma usually have items that hold significance to them. This akuma did not have one. It took us longer to find where the akuma was hiding, and because the creature was so large and destructive the damage was more extensive this time, but the damage is repaired and the civilians were safely evacuated.”

“Who is the new teammate Ladybug?”

“Turtle Boy is the newest member of our team!” Chat said with a grin.

“It’s not Turtle Boy.” Nino protested, and suddenly all of the cameras went on him.

“What should the people call you?”

Nino looked at both of his teammates for help, but the merely shrugged their shoulders. “Uh… Jade Turtle.”

“We must get going.” Ladybug announced and with that she swung up to the roofs. Chat Noir took off as well and Jade Turtle followed, slower and on foot. He had to find a way of moving faster. This was ridiculous.

Alya was running as fast as she could, cradling Fanna in her hands.

“Why did you do that?” Tears were rolling down her cheeks and she couldn’t wipe them away.

“Because you are my chosen and I didn’t want you to be hurt.” Fanna gave a weak smile to Alya, “You are my kit, I will always protect you Alya.”

Alya kept running, turning when Fanna told her to, until they were on Marinette’s parent’s street.

“Fanna?”

“Turn left.”

Alya ran down the street and spotted the massage parlor.

“That’s the place.”

Alya ripped open the door and called for help. Her call seemed to echo in the empty shop and her heart broke. Then out of the corner of her eye she saw movement. A short, old, asian man looked at her quizzically.

“Master.” Fanna gave the man a smile.

“It’s been a long time Fanna.” The old man returned the smile.

Alya held Fanna to the man, “Please, she’s very hurt! Please help her!”

“Come.” The old man led her into the shop and instructed her to put Fanna on the table. Alya wiped her eyes and stood back barely breathing, her eyes wide with worry as the old man moved his hands over Fanna.

Something passed between the man and the Kwami and Alya wasn’t sure what it was.

“She will recover, but she needs to be careful and rest.” The old man said turning to Alya. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Volpina.”

“Who are you?”

“I am Master Fu, I am the guardian of the miraculous.”

“Master… I’m not the real Volpina.” Alya confessed her eyes falling to the floor.

“Oh?”

“I didn’t steal the miraculous I promise! But it was given to me by a man who stole it, or more accurately, the man being controlled by the creature who stole it. I understand if you want Fanna back so you can chose a hero properly.”

“I don’t think that is necessary.” Master Fu dismissed the thought with a wave of his hand.

“But I wasn’t chosen.”

“Do you want to know a secret Volpina?” The old man smiled, “Neither was I.”

Alya looked at the man confused, “What do you mean?”

“When I was 16 I stole my miraculous from my teacher, he was the guardian at the time. I was never chosen to have Wayzz, yet he and I were good friends and we saved people's lives.”

“Really?”

“Yes. The Chat Noir and Ladybug before yours were not chosen by me or anyone else. They found the miraculous and if I had the choice I would have chose them anyway.” Master Fu gave the girl a smile, “You have the love and care for others that Fanna needs. You have the imagination and creativity to utilize her power. And you have the courage and strength to fight for what is right. You are Volpina. Nothing can change that. You were always meant to be Volpina.”

Fanna floated slowly towards her chosen, “I would not stick around with just anyone. You are my chosen, and you make every Volpina who came before proud.”

“Thank you Master.” Alya gave the man a smile.

“I’m very glad I got to meet you, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to.” The man looked to Fanna, “It was an honor to serve you, and I’m glad to see you again.”

Fanna met his gaze sadly, “Goodbye old friend.”

Alya left the shop with Fanna safely in her hands again. The kwami watched the shop mournfully. Alya frowned, “Why do you look so sad?”

“Master Fu is going to die soon.”

“What? How can you tell?”

“Because that was his goodbye.”

Jade Turtle tried to crawl through the window as quietly as possible with little success. There was a crash and a yelp as he took the papers on his desk down with him.

“Ow..” He mumbled getting up slowly.

He looked up at the apartment through his open bedroom door. That was something he was going to have to change. No more open doors, more privacy, places to hide a small turtle. With a grumble he stood up and went to close said door when he looked across the hall into Adrien’s room and froze.

“Chat Noir?”

Said Hero froze in the middle of closing the window of his roommate's bedroom.

“I-In the flesh!” Chat stuttered jumping to face his new teammate.

“W-What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here?!” Chat cried a little indignantly.

“I live here!”

“So do I.”

There was a long moment of silence.

“Adrien?!?”

“NINO?!”

Chat ran up to Jade, “I can’t believe it!”

“Dude you’re Chat Noir!”

“I know!” Chat gave a wide grin.

“Have you always been?”

“Ever since the first day of school.”

“What?? That long?”

“Yeah!”

“What the fuck dude! How did I not figure it out!”

With a flash of dark and light green the two kwami’s flew into the air.

“It’s good to see you Plagg.” Wayzz greeted politely.

“The Master’s finally retiring?” Plagg asked.

“Yes.” Wayzz said, looking a little defeated.

Plagg flew over and gave Wayzz a pat on the back.

“Hey green dude, it’s ok.” Nino lifted a finger and patted Wayzz’s head affectionately, “I promise that I’ll make Master Fu proud.”

“He will,” Adrien added in, “I’ve known him for 5 years, and even without the miraculous he’s amazing!”

Wayzz seemed to smile, and Nino and his Kwami exchanged a look of confidence.

“He has done superbly so far.”

Nino looked bashful, then suddenly “That’s why you were always sneaking out late and canceling plans!” Nino said turning to Adrien.

“Yeah, sorry about that.”

“Dude! It all makes sense now! The random cat puns, all the times you “went to the bathroom” in school, your love for Ladybug-”

“Don’t get me started.” Plagg rolled his eyes. “Kid I need food.”

Adrien sighed and headed towards the kitchen. He opened the fridge and pulled out a wheel of camembert.

“That’s why you smell like cheese all the time!” Nino’s world felt like it had been turned upside down, only to reveal that he had been looking at it wrong his whole life. “That explains why we always have a fridge full of the stuff but you never eat it.”

Adrien sighed, “Believe me, I’ve asked him if he’ll eat anything else.” Adrien’s brow furrowed for a second, “What does Wayzz eat?”

“Walnuts.” Wayzz said happily floating through the cupboard he saw Nino put the shopping bag in, and returning with a Walnut in his tiny hands.

“I guess cause he has a hard shell? Like a walnut?” Nino shrugged, “So who else knows?”

“Nobody. You’re the only one.”

“Really?” Nino went to the fridge to get some food for himself, “Not even spots?”

Adrien shook his head with a sad sigh, “Believe me I want to tell her, I’ve wanted to since the first day I met her, but she has this rule that we can’t know who each other is. “No one can know who we are Chat, not even ourselves.”” Adrien used his dramatic voice to recite Ladybug’s rule.

“Sorry Man. Are you going to get in trouble cause I know?”

Adrien shrugged, “It wasn’t like it was on purpose. Besides, that rule’s between me and her, and it’s not as if I told a random civilian. Maybe we just won’t tell her.”

“Sounds good to me dude.”

Adrien had always wondered what it’d be like to share this with someone. If they would judge him for it, if they would treat him differently, if they wanted someone cooler than him to be Chat Noir, but Nino didn’t.

As Adrien talked to his friend and answered all the question Nino had he felt a wave of relief wash over him. He was going to be fighting Hawkmoth with his best friend. What could be greater than that?

Adrien reached out and engulfed Nino in a hug.

“Dude are you ok?” Nino asked slightly worried and slightly amused as he returned the gesture.

“I’m just really glad I don’t have to keep this a secret anymore.”

Nino smiled, “Adrien?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for rescuing me from Hawkmoth all those times.”

Adrien smiled back, “Anytime.”

Fu poured himself a cup of tea and brought it to his lips.

“Your door was open.”

“How strange I thought I locked it.” Fu took a sip of the tea and made a face. “Still too hot.”

“It’s been a while.” The figure moved into the room making no other sound then his voice.

“12 years.” Fu said.

“You know what I want.”

“You know that even if I knew I wouldn’t tell you.”

“Where is she Fu?” The figure slammed it’s hands down on the table in anger.

“You’ve been busy. You must have stolen all of the miraculous by now. Except for Tikki and Plagg, and of course you lost two that you stole. And the two you have left never met Elle, how could they help you find her?”

The figure growled.

“I think I may have touched a nerve there.”

The figure seemed to collect himself, “Gabriel was always such a soft man. His anger didn’t last long. He was weak.”

“He’s your chosen.”

“He is not my chosen!”

“She was Tikki’s not yours.” Fu took a sip of his tea, “That’s better.”

“She chose me!” The figure slammed a fist through the table, “She was mine! She should have been my chosen! Tikki never loved her like I did and she didn’t love Tikki like she loved me!”

“Love?” Master Fu’s voice was darker now, “That is what you call it? I know what you did, and she knows too. She will never love you.”

“Philippe killed Sage. He deserved to die. She hated him. She told me she hated him. She would have thanked me for getting rid of him.”

“I wasn’t talking about Philippe.”

The figure fell silent.

“You should stop this Rekko. You should live peacefully here if you wish to stay.”

The figure laughed, “Is that a threat?”

“Yes.”

“You are a foolish old man.”

“Let the kwami you are stealing power from go.”

Rekko laughed, “You blundering old man! I don’t fear you! Tonight you will die, and these threats? They are empty.”

“I don’t care what happens to me.” Fu smiled, “The cards have been dealt.”

“Yes. I know about your precious new chosen. Jade Turtle? He was adorable.” Rekko snickered, “And Fanna can only protect that Cesaire girl for so long. I have the powers of three Kwami and no miraculous to tie me down! I am unstoppable!”

“Asa’s descendant has been found.”

Rekko froze in his place, a cold dread filled him at the memory of the gates to the kwami’s world. The young woman with fire in her eyes and enough power to wipe him off the face of the earth, her words sucking him closer and closer to the dark pit.

“Amira is dead. You must be lying.”

“She had a child.”

“Firefighters arrived at the scene, but all attempts to put out the house fire have been unsuccessful.”

“Hey Mum, I’m waiting for Dad-”

At around 7 pm, two young woman grabbed their coats and ran out the door. Both could barely think except to run as fast as possible. The women took the steps two at a time as they left their buildings, the cool air hitting them as the doors flew open.

There is a special fear that builds in you when you hear that someone you love is in danger. You’re body refuses to move at first, and it takes you a minute to force it into action. You’re movement starts out shaky as your mind tries to think logically. Where did I put my keys? Will I need my bus tokens? What’s the fastest way there? And then you can’t slow down. Nothing is fast enough. You know you can’t run all the way there but you need to. At every crossing walk you run across the road, just as an excuse to move, to get there faster, sooner, because the seconds count now. Your mind keeps drifting back to every word that was said.

Your dad’s in the Hospital.

A small massage shop.

Your mind jumps to the worst possibility, you try to convince yourself that it couldn’t happen. And then you wonder what your life will be like without them. How it would feel to never see them again. And your brain is telling you it can’t happen, that it won’t come to that. And your legs keep running faster, and now you’re sprinting, and the tears are falling, and finally you arrive and your legs are jelly and you feel like you’re going to collapse and weep.

And in front of Marinette there was a fire and it burned hot enough to make her stumble back blindly onto the road. And the sign above the shop was falling, and everything was crumbling, and the water from the firefighters fell onto the hot building like the tears fell down Marinette’s warm face.

Then she saw him, a figure standing on the roof, his face lit up from the fire. Her heart broke. It wasn’t Master Fu.

“My name is Hawkmoth!” The figure cried his masked face bright from the flames and from his delight at their destruction, “Let this mark the day your lives change. Nothing will be able to stop me! Not Ladybug, not Chat Noir, nor their new friend. I used to hide in the shadows, but it all changes now. I will have what I want, and your city will burn until I get it.”

And then the masked man was gone and Marinette fell to her knees and wept. She had failed. Master Fu was dead. People ran to her, they tried to help her up, to comfort her, but she couldn’t move. She shook with tears and soon everyone was gone.

“Princess?”

She couldn’t face him. She had failed him just as she had failed Fu, just as she had failed her city.

“How c-could this happen?” She choked out between sobs.

“Marinette-” Chat’s arms were around here. Holding her, shielding her from the fire. She wanted to shake him off. She wanted fall to the hard ground and sob until the aching in her chest was gone, but she didn’t. She let him keep her upright and hold onto her.

“I’m so sorry.” His voice sounded choked and hoarse, “I didn’t get here soon enough. I couldn’t save him, I couldn’t do anything.”

“This is all Ladybug’s fault.”

She felt Chat stiffen,”It’s not-”

“Why isn’t she here? Why didn’t she stop this!”

“I’m sure she tried her hardest-”

“She didn’t! I know she didn’t! She hasn’t been able to help anyone! She’s failed everyone!”

“Enough-”

“Maybe she should give up her miraculous to someone who can actually use it!”

“You’re wrong.” Chat had pulled back from her, “I know you’re upset about your uncle, but I can promise you that Ladybug is doing all she can. She loves this city, and she has done more for it then you can imagine. I won’t let you talk badly about her.”

Marinette finally looked up at Chat her eyes red and puffy, “You believe in her?’

“Of course. Ladybug will always help people.”

Marinette fell back onto Chat’s chest and cried on his shoulder, “I wish I was half as good as you Kitty.”

Chat’s eye widened at the nickname, he looked down at his friend in surprise, “Marinette… What did you…” He stopped himself and held her closer, “It’ll be ok Mari. I promise.”

“Pick up, pick up.’ Alya chanted under her breath, pressing the phone closer to her ear. The phone kept ringing, Alya hit her head on the wall she was leaning on. She slid down to sit on the floor.

“Mari, please.” Alya sobbed drawing her knees into her chest, “I need you to pick up.”

“Hi-”

“Mari!”

“It’s Marinette, I can’t come to the phone right now so please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”

The phone fell from Alya’s grip. Her body shook from tears, hands covering her face meekly.

“Please don’t cry my kit.”

Alya looked up and met the soft brown eyes of Fanna. The kwami looked tired, and her leg was wrapped up in bandage. Fanna wiped away Alya’s tears with her thumb.

“I have grown to love you and it hurts to see you sad.”

“I don’t want him to die.” More tears fell on Fanna’s tan hand.

Fanna sat beside her chosen, “I know Alya, I know.”

“I love him so much.”

“I know,” Fanna wrapped her arms around Alya and held her chosen close, “I’m sorry for your pain.” Fanna kissed the top of Alya’s forehead.

“I know.”

“You should talk to him,” Fanna lifted Alya’s chin, “There are many things I wish I had told those I loved that I will never get to say.”

“Can you come with me?”

Alya passed her mother on the way into the hospital room.

“Hi Dad.”

She was greeted by the sound of him breathing and the steady beat of his heart monitor.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” Alya grabbed the chair beside the bed and sat down. “I love you. More then I can say, and I’m sorry I never told you, because I should have. I should have told you every chance I got.”

Alya took a deep breath, “Dad there’s something you should know.” Alya pulled Fanna out of her pocket.

“This is Fanna. She’s a kwami. You know how Ladybug and Chat Noir have these superpowers and they fight evil? They have Kwami’s too. I’m Volpina. The reason I lost my job was because I had to fight an akuma.”

Alya nodded tears prickling her eyes, “I wanted you to know Dad. I didn’t want you to think I’m making bad choices. I wanted you to be proud of me. And I wanted you to know, to know the truth. I don’t want to keep this secret from you. I don’t know if you can hear me but...” Alya trailed off.

“I have always been proud of you Alya.” Her dad’s voice was quiet and weak. She looked up at him in surprise and he smiled, “And what did I tell you? You can handle Hawkmoth no problem.”

Alya laughed a few tears rolling down her cheeks. “He won’t know what hit him.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

#trying #mlb #miraculous ladybug #alya #alya cesaire #nino #nino lahiffe #turtle nino #volpina #ninoxalya #Marinette #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #sorry this took so long!!!

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