#sorry i just get wildly mentally ill abt her

[beestripe-and-spines]

only warmth

only love

[burning-sol]

Idk why but i want to so I guess I will talk a LITTLE abt it but also. Still restraining myself. Cw though it's a bit explicit ig.

Rand TOTALLY has a bunch of burns and you can't convince me otherwise. I will negotiate on anything else but this. It started ever since he got his lighter, because he's kind of a goober with it. He gets numb and bored and understimulated, so he'll start fidgeting with his lighter and playing chicken with it. In Rand brain, he is thinking "wonder how long I can hold this lighter here until it hurts" and then he'd do it. Repeatedly resulted in burning himself, occassionally going "ow fuck!!" aloud because he's stupid and didn't expect to get burnt as if he is not holding a lighter up to himself. He also just developed a habit of extinguishing cigarettes WHEREVER (especially if he thought he might get caught by a teacher), so that has led to many an unpleasant burns. He did this so often when he was younger it became a habit and something he still does unconsciously. Still will shout "shit!!!" out loud, he has not changed.

Rand was already the weird clearly mentally ill but not diagnosed kid, so when other people catch a glimpse of his scars they're like... Really offput but they're not wildly concerned, as dark as that is. It just contributes to the mentally ill look of him in their minds, so whatever. But like his mom has probably caught him doing it before and tried to take away his lighter and pray for him <- did not work and Rand was so confused "mom i am so normal and holy or whatever, can i have my lighter back"

And obv Kian and Rolan get worried in their own ways, because they're friends. Kian is more chill about it, she just tries to play it cool and gently point out when Rand is doing it - which does a good job of getting Rand to stop what he's doing. Kian doesn't talk at all about herself and her issues, but extends his empathy towards Rand you know?? Sure, it's not really the same, but Kian isnt gonna be mean abt it. But Rolan. Rolan gets anxious and upset. He tries his best to cope with whatever mentally ill shit Rand does, but this is one of those things where Rolan can't take it. Rolan might look away or snappily tell Rand to quit it or just say he needs to take a breather and walk away. Rolan doesn't understand it, he thinks its weird like the other kids do, he doesn't want to talk abt it.

And wow, this was a lot so I'm cutting myself off here. Sorry.

Am. Am I allowed to say Kian and Rand sh scars. Is this illegal.

[student-film-lying-piece-of-shit]

that's it im fucking saying it

heavy content warning for rape, abuse ect

okay i warned yall

If you're gonna make 'ticci toby realistic' okay fine i don't FUCKING care anymore that's JAZZY make him a heartless monster who eats kids like whatever you see him as is vaild to me just know ill never accept that sorry

but im SICK and TIRED of y'all fucking taking that and making fanfictions where he's in relationships or even x readers as a shitty abuser

you can't have both. you can't have a romantic ship story that glorifies rape, abuse and gaslighting i am so fucking tired

yesterday i found like. god knows how many fics with toby being a rapist and it made me deadass cry because seeing a character ive projected into for years be butchered into such a despicable human hurt. and with edgy toby none of you know how he works

'Dark' or whatever toby: think Alex Kraile from mh I guess? Withdrawn, kinda a dick, but is VERY loyal to his cause with working to the slenderman. he does everything under his name. toby doesn't kill for his own gain, yea he might get some pleasure from it, but if we're gonna go by david near's toby interpretation, he obviously cares about lives to an extent

(spoilers up ahead hdiwsbsi for jeffs final sleep/ticci toby patient interview)

he even has a giant character arc in one of his stories where he refuses to listen to slender and detaches from him

in the patient series, he begs Dr. Wilson to let him go because he knew zalgo would be there to kill his thearpist and everyone in the building. the small things in that interview shows he's empathic outside of being a proxy

he apologises for snapping. he gets scared by slenderman. He respects Dr. Wilson

for fucks sake

HE ISN'T A MONSTER HES A KID WITH PHYSICAL AND MENTAL DISABILITIES AND IS BEING CONTROLLED BY AN ENTITY NONE OF YOU UNDERSTAND HE HAS NO FREE WILL!!!!! NONE!!! HIS DRIVE TO MURDER ISN'T EVEN HIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S BRAINWASHED!!!!!!! STOP ACTING LIKE YOU GET THAT WHEN YOU DON'T FOR ABSOLUTE FUCKS SAKE. SLENDERMAN GETS NOTHING FROM HIM RAPING SOMEONE

RAPE IS A SELFISH ACT. STOP THROWING IT AROUND LIKE NOTHING!!!! AS A SURVIVOR OF CSA IT'S FUCKING PAINFUL TO SEE THIS! THIS FANDOM NEEDS TO STOP JUST THROWING AROUND THAT CRIME LIKE NOTHING! AND CLAIM ITS IN THE NAME OF BEING REALISTIC !!!!!! STOP!!!!!!!!! I DON'T WANNA READ A HEAVY DETAILED RAPE SCENE IN A FUCKING FANFICTION!!!! NOT EVEN BETTY KRUGER DID THAT!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE HE UNDERSTOOD SHOCK VALUE HAS FUCKING LIMITS

TOBY WOULD NEVER, NEVER, NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER KIDNAP AND TOTURE SOMEONE OF HIS OWN WANTS AND NEEDS. HE'S, DEEP DOWN INSIDE, JUST A SCARED TEENAGER / YOUNG ADULT

"ghost stop being angry"

okay. i will when a trauma survivor stops being portrayed as an abuser. ill stop when you stop writing ship fics (keep in mind if you do a x reader that counts) that directly romanticizes abuse and rape. (Intentional or not you are) i will stop when you shit on kids for having a go-lucky, smiling toby because they wanna have a boyfriend / big brother figure to cope. i will stop being angry when you stop making him kill his mom and blame her for toby's abuse. i will stop when this fandom accepts he's bisexual and stop hearing "why does everything have to be gay" from another cishet fan. i will stop when you all do

if i see any comment that says "kastoway said he's an ignorant asshole" i will fucking delete it because y'all use that a vessle to make him horribly ooc and an abusive asshole and you're missing the point of this entire rant

im not ranting about a cocky toby. im angry because y'all don't understand what makes toby scary

toby isn't a scary character in himself. but he shows slenderman's power. it shows how he can break a kid so bad. and you guys take that and say :3 toby said homophobe rights, says the n word (oh I've SEEN that) and rapes girls. him being rewritten doesn't give you a card to make him do anything

y'all compare? him to jeff a lot???

jeff did everything on his own. he's a natural selection kinda bitch. he's brutal and tbh he's like, the only pasta i can see being that nasty-brutal. but id never write an x reader where he rapes someone Jesus fuck.

the biggest difference between these two is that one cares and one doesn't. one willingly started killing. the other didn't. toby from the start never did it for his own want, but he thought it was. he was takened over. slender used his soft points to be used against him, ie lyra and hatred towards his dad

jeff got bullied and said "fuck this i said homophobes have rights" aka he 'snapped' and killed.

y'all pretend you know toby's character bur reality y'all look like this: 🤡 🤡🤡

"ghost ur bias"

you know what the fuck i am because toby's a giant projection character and one of the most important pieces of fictional work to me!!!!! i know everything abt toby!!!! nobody on this god forsakened app has dedicated years of their life anaylizing and picking apart every interpretation of toby and yeah there's stans here and theyre vaild and it isn't a competition but nobody here will understand how important he is to me.

ive said it before: he helped me realise i was trans. i cut my hair to look like him. ticcimask was my gateway to at the time, bisexuality and now being gay. these characters shaped me as a person. tbh, it wouldve took me 10x longer to find my identity if i never got interdouced to this fandom. kastoway created one of the most important characters to me.

i grew up with i guess the silly old toby. and i guess this comes from an unfair place bc i always enjoyed a goofy toby more than an asshole toby. i can't and never will grow too fond of a dick toby! but a broken, scared hollow kid? yeah, yea i would and do.

and now i understand why :3 we can't have nice things

also fun fact! David Near headcanons toby as a csa survivor so stop using his voice claim if you make him a rapist :3 you lost :3 your David Near rights

okay im done im so mad i might rewrite this to be calmer but rn you're getting this fuck the cops eat the government captalism is a flawed system

tldr; leave toby alone please he's gay can't count to 10 and doesn't know breeds of cars

edit: i know a lot of people also potray jeff wildly different and that's vaild too!!! this probably just applies for like. all of them

don't romanticize abuse basically thanks