#sorry i have so much nostalgia for no fear shakespeare

[hubristicassholefight]

Hubristic assholes Tourney Round 1 part 2b

Hamlet (Hamlet) vs the 10th Doctor (Doctor Who)

Propaganda below cut (spoiler warning!)

Hamlet

He's hamlet.

10th Doctor

The 10th Doctor starts on a downward spiral after erasing his best friend’s memories of their adventures together to save her life. The only surviving member of his species, the Doctor begins breaking the laws of time and space which he has held onto his whole life and tries to interfere with a fixed point in time, which are critical moments in history that must be preserved for the good of the timeline. The Doctor, tired of watching people die, decides to save the crew of Bowie Base One who were supposed to die on Mars. He declares that “The laws of time are mine and they will obey me!” And saves the crew, which he knows he shouldn’t have done. He takes them back to Earth, and the captain of the group, Adelaide Brook, realizes that her entire family’s future history has been changed. The Doctor declares himself the “Time Lord Victorious”. Adelaide commits suicide to preserve the timeline where she dies before rejoining humanity on Earth.

(Warning for fictional suicide) In “The Empty Child” the (Ninth) Doctor says “Just this once, everybody lives!” and saves the day with no deaths. The Tenth Doctor in “Waters of Mars” repeats this, thinking he can once again save everybody from the base members who are infected by Mars’ waters and prevent a fixed point, which is the Base Commander’s death. He brings the Commander back to earth and believes himself successful since he reads a newspaper that says the Commander saved the base. He then hears a gunshot and finds that the Commander fulfilled the fixed point by committing suicide; Several times in Ten’s run the idea of saving everybody comes up and he is almost never successful. He is very desperate for a win at this point to prove he can defy the rules of time and space.

[ardenrabbit]

Hi....If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

What a fun question! Thank you for asking! I think I already answered an ask about favorite characters, but here's a list of some of my favorite media in no particular order 💜

1. Avatar the Last Airbender: If you didn't grow as a person if/when you watched atla I just don't know what to say to you. Watch it again I guess? Learn self-love and empathy and healthy coping tactics

2. Lord of the Rings, by Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien, especially Peter Jackson's Fellowship of the Ring, Extended Version: Favorite movie. Nostalgia factor. Gandalf. Viggo Mortensen ruining all other men for me. Boromir being a Good Man. The soundtrack of this movie is Home to me.

3. The Goblin Wood, book by Hilari Bell: Friendship, magic, and angry, vengeful witches. Anti-colonialism. Great take on magic. Questioning dogma and learning how not to be a cop. A crotchety goblin named Cogswhallop who is my best friend.

3. Big Fish: Movie with Albert Finney, Ewan Mcgregor, and Marion Cotillard my beloved. Whimsical, heartwarming, and profoundly bittersweet story about people learning to communicate and share in each other's lives. I really just fucking love this movie.

4. ⭐ A Silent Voice: Japanese animated movie about a former bully learning to not hate himself, a deaf girl learning self-worth, and a lot of people learning to be friends. Fucking stunning visuals and music. Another profoundly bittersweet one with a happy ending, and one I wish I'd seen earlier in my life. Content warning: two suicide attempts.

5. Mo Dao Zu Shi, by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu: Chinese web novel with several adaptations, about a lot of fascinating topics with oceans of nuance because MXTX is a genius tbh, but largely about questioning convention and doing the right thing, the different ways in which people can love, the meanings of bravery, and some zombies. I also love her novel Tian Guan Ci Fu but have to analyze the themes a little more before I can confidently talk about what it means? It's fucking incredible though (and like twice as long lol)

6. No. 6, by Atsuko Asano: Japanese web novel with a manga and anime adaptation (manga is the best): honestly just a fun time about destroying The System with gay love and bees. Deuteragonist is an edgy dumbass who lived in a cave, blows up government vehicles, and quotes too much Shakespeare. To this day I am endlessly entertained by Nezumi.

7. The Kingkiller Chronicles, by Patrick Rothfuss: Book series comprising The Name of the Wind and Wise Man's Fear. Someday will include the final book, Doors of Stone. Epic fantasy story about a bard-rogue-wizard with delusions of grandeur giving his memoir after all the damage he's caused. Involves the COOLEST magic systems in one world, does an amazing job of establishing a truly low-fantasy-feeling but simultaneously deeply mystical environment, and has exactly the kind of compelling eccentricity that I love in characters. Beautifully poetic prose.

8. Dragon Age: rpg video game series about a series of Unfortunate World Events. You play a different character in each game, the protagonist at the center of one catastrophe or another, and they all tie in beautifully in the overall world story progression. The characters you meet are multidimensional and SO worth analyzing, because they're all fascinating and flawed people (except Varric Tethras, who is Perfect and The Love of my Life (my wife knows and accepts this)).

9. ⭐ Gates of Fire, by Steven Pressfield: Okay, FUCK THIS BOOK for being about the battle of Thermopylae where you know EXACTLY how that ended for the defending army and MAKING YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH THE CHARACTERS ANYWAY. Insanely well-researched historical fiction. Sympathetic to the subject and emotionally and socially insightful to a devastating degree. The best representation of the camaraderie and friendship in warrior culture without all the awful macho bullshit we've come to expect and loathe. They really ask the question "what is the opposite of fear" and come to the answer "love." I have broken down sobbing while reading a story three times in my life, and TWO of those times were from this book. Seriously, fuck this book. I will never write half as well as Steven Pressfield.

10. ⭐ It's Such a Beautiful Day, by Don Hertzfeldt: Remember the animation show on YouTube, that absurdist hand-drawn animation with the robots? Yeah that guy made a whole emotionally gutting, bittersweet movie about the nature of life and coming to terms with the end of it. Intergenerational trauma, chronic illness, and a lot of introspection. Beautifully paced storytelling. This is an Important Movie. It's not immediately stylistically accessible to everyone, but seriously, open your heart and branch out. This movie made me a little more whole.

If I had to pick three of these to shove in people's faces, it would be the starred and red ones lol. Not enough people know about them or have taken the time to appreciate them.

[chocolate-parfait]

Gen Z MC - ikevamp headcanons (general)

Following that obey me post I reblogged about a gen z mc, and seeing how I already thought about this a couple times, I decided to write this! Enjoy~

ALSO,, sorry for disappearing for two days, I didn't really have any ideas nor motivation to write,,

When the vampires see a teenager coming out of the door, they kinda think "oh shit". An adult is something, but a teenager? It's a big responsibility

Gen Zers are very independent and autonomous so you often tell them not to pamper you nor treat you like a child, you know what you're doing and you can handle your responsibilities

You work hard and you're humble, often saying self deprecating or suicidal jokes, making everyone look at you like 👁👄👁are u ok, but you tell them it's normal and not to pay you any mind

Some of them will just get worried at how much self deprecating humor you use but you just keep using it to confuse them even more lmaoo

You particularly get along with Vincent for his good vibes and his dedication to art. You really love staying there with him and watch him paint, often asking him questions about his technique and stuff

You compare him to Bob Ross and start rambling about him to Vincent, who on the other hand thinks must be a very good man

Mozart would be the second member of the mansion you spend most time with if it wasn't for the fact that he likes being alone and your presence disturbs his work more often than not

Despite this you offer to sing/show him some songs from your time so that he could play them for you and find some inspiration. It's a win-win situation for both, especially since your phone died after 3 days of your stay

This brings you extreme pain. We all know how phones and electronics are a dependance to most of us, but you ask Leonardo and Isaac to help you create a charger and a socket to charge your phone (you'd still be without internet but you could at least show them photos of the 21st century)

You admire Napoleon a lot. He started a mfing revolution for civil rights! How cool is that? Also, rebellion and equality run in your veins, and you find yourself telling him all about the protests in your time

You tell him about suffragettes, stonewall riots, the blm protests, etc. listing all the reasons why they started, how they ended and what they achieved

Napoleon listens carefully, relieved and proud about the fact that there are so many people still fighting for they rights and to achieve freedom

Seeing the fire in your eyes as you talk about it reminds him of his younger self, a feeling of nostalgia accompanying him for as long as you stay and making him act kind of like an older brother

Your strong sense of justice and your fiery personality, make you very "responsive" to Shakespeare's schemes. He wants to start some weird shit? You will flip him over and kick his ass while giving him a 45 lessons long course about ethics. He won't be doing any toxic shit on your watch!

You and arthur communicate through vines. You taught him all the vines you knew and you're extremely proud of this. On the other hand, Arthur is very happy to have another way to confuse and make fun of the other residents

PLEASE make him say "why does somebody not know how to flush the toilet aftah they've had a SHET? DISGUSTANG"

When comte tells you "keep your head high, as all women should" you basically yell "aLL WOMEN ARE QUEENS" and hug him while sobbing, confusing the old man

The amount of chaos you bring into that house eye-

No one is able to get a hold of you and you have a sassy comeback for every joke is thrown your way

Whenever Theo refers to you using a dog analogy you just tell him "someone here is pretty kinky huh? Good job theo, implying these kind of things in front of a child like me~". This statement has both Arthur and Vincent holding Theo back before he does anything out of shame and anger lmao

You aren't the sweet and innocent angel you seem to be, and everyone realizes this pretty soon

Jean almost passes out after he hears you say with all the confidence in the world that God doesn't exist and you definitely wouldn't fear him even if he was up there. The amount of sacrilege things you say hurt his soul

But something that doesn't go unnoticed is that you respect everyone's opinions and ideas even if they are different from your own (unless they go against equality and human rights, in that case you're more than ready to throw hands)

Anyways, random fights and general chaos aside, you also bring a lot of positivity in the house. Everyone's quirks, diversity and positive sides are respected, enhanced and appreciated by you. Everyone's faults are accepted and you help them become the better version of themselves.

Your flexibility, awareness and knowledge on subjects like depression and mental illnesses make you the official therapist for these very sad vampires

The fact you're also very perceptive and don't step any of the residents' boundaries makes you even a better presence! You can kind of figure out what's going on in their minds without making them uncomfortable

When you go back to your time everyone can feel the void you left behind. Days pass by without your laughter echoing through the hallways. Your genuine interest towards everyone's problems now replaced with the hard and cold truth: you weren't there anymore.

But who knows, if they waited long enough, they might meet you again when fate decided to reunite you all

[arty-e]

i have a question: other than the fact that she was one of the first major female rulers of england, why do you like elizabeth i? maybe it’s the media trying to villainize powerful women, but she doesn’t seem like...a good person? i mean what she had with robert dudley was Not Good considering that he had. you know. a wife that could’ve possibly died because of her husband’s affairs.

When I was little like when I was five years old I went to a museumor gallery in London with my parents and little brother, (I can’t remember which one tho) we went to the gift shop and there was small I think around 5-10 page book about her. I don’t know why I chose that one but I did. And I fell in love with her. I read that book over and over again just telling my parents facts that they already knew.

I’ve grown up since then and my knowledge of Elizabeth and her era has only grown. I love Shakespeare to the point I was the only one laughing when my drama class went to see ‘Much Ado about Nothing’. My parents have always encouraged any passion I have from history to my art. Especially my dad who equally loves history as much as me admittedly he’s much more interested in the Regency and Horatio Nelson (also his love for books by Jane Austen and The Hornblower books)

It’s really hard to put my finger on why I love her so much. I think it’s driven a lot by nostalgia and childhood innoncemce of not really understanding sexism yet. I thought she was a complete badass growing up in time when w wry one was trying to kill her or push her down it never occurred to me it was unheard of for a woman to be a ruler. I mean I’m English I’ve always Queen Lizzy II on the throne and we’ve also had Margaret thatcher (not necessarily a good thing but still a woman in charge at some point).

Didn’t know much about Dudley back then but I know his wife was ill at the time and then died very mysteriously and everyone thought he had killed her in order to marry Elizabeth but in all honesty I believe it was a very unfortunate accident with his enemies making propaganda about him. (His life is actually quite a tragic one, his father and brother (Guildford Dudley (Jane greys husband)) were both executed he and his other older brother William were in the tower for a long time. Mary then sent the two off to fight against the french for Spain in order to ‘redeem’ themselves. In the last battle before they returns William was killed right in front of Dudley. The reason Elizabeth and Dudley were so close was because they grew up together and they shared trauma together. Being trapped in the tower fearing they would be beheaded like their other family members. All their family members being dead and being last person standing.

And in all honesty I don’t think the media vilify her as much as you think. I think horrible histories somewhat vilifies her but they do that with every monarch they focus on and it’s all very silly and good fun. But let’s not talk about Reign or Mary Queen of Scots movie... they really annoy and piss me off.

Woo! Look at me ramble! Sorry about that haha

[intransigent-boy]

My Top Ten Films of The Decade.

10. Her

Okay, so whether you like it or not, this movie is about the present. This movie tells a very powerful story with an embarrasingly personal narrative. You feel sorry for the main character, it makes you so uncomfortable. And the reason is, because we are all in some sense are like this guy, Theodore. We have better relationships online, and with our advices, than with real people. It’s a really bizarre conception, but we should face it, and ask ourselves: Where is the limit?  The script is just brilliant, but also has very controversial scenes. Joaquin Phoenix is simply the perfect choice for a lonely man, like Theodore. Melancholy everywhere, and great visuals. Arcade Fire made the music for this, and it was pure melancholy. Very interesting film.

9. The Place Beyond The Pines

Derek Cianfrance is an exceptional director. He can wonderfully create an atmosphere with great lighting techiques, unique musics, and of course with talented actors. This movie has a linear, but quite unusual story-structure. The main theme haunts you after you watched this. Legacy! 

8. Nightcrawler

Louis Bloom is something of a loner who is unemployed and ekes out a living stealing and then reselling copper wire, fencing and most anything else he can get his hands on. When late one night he comes across an accident being filmed by independent news photographer Joe Loder, he thinks he may have found something he would be good at. He acquires an inexpensive video camera and a police scanner and is soon spending his nights racing to accidents, robberies and fire scenes. He develops a working relationship with Nina Romina, news director for a local LA TV station. As the quality of his video footage improves so does his remuneration and he hires Rick, young and unemployed, to work with him. The more successful he becomes however, the more apparent it becomes that Louis will do anything - anything - to get visuals from crime scenes. The conception is just brilliant, and screams to your face, what kind of society are we living in. I think Psychopathy is going to be one of the biggest issue in our generation asides with mental illneses. And this movie reflects perfectly. You understand the character, which is geniusly performed by Jake Gyllenhaal. 

7. Inside Llewyn Davis

The Coen brothers' exquisitely sad and funny new comedy is set in a world of music that somehow combines childlike innocence with an aged and exhausted acceptance of the world. It is a beguilingly studied period piece from America's early-60s Greenwich Village folk scene. Every frame looks like a classic album cover, or at the very least a great inner gatefold – these are screen images that look as if they should have lyrics and sleeve notes superimposed. This film was notably passed over for Oscar nominations. Perhaps there's something in its unfashionable melancholy that didn't hook the attention of Academy award voters. But it is as pungent and powerfully distinctive as a cup of hot black coffee. This movie is about sacrificing everything for your art, directionlessness  (is there such a word?) , and finding the right path. Existential theme, with surpisingly good acting from Oscar Isaac, Adam Driver, and Justin Timberlake. This is an Odyssey-story from the 1960′s America. What more you could ask for? 

6. Dunkirk

Reinventing a genre is quite exceptional. And Nolan did it. The best war movies of the last 20 years, including Saving Private Ryan and Hacksaw Ridge, have also placed viewers in the centre of battle. Nolan has not reinvented that immersive approach, but he comes close to perfecting it. The story structure is-again- brilliant. There’s no main character in the movie-just like in a war-but only  scared people. They want to go home. But they can’t. We’re with them with their struggle, and fears. We’re in the air, land, or water, it’s just a haunting terror.  And the soundtrack from Hans Zimmer is really remarkable. You hear it, and you recognize the movie. That’s what I call a score. Reflects perfectly, and holds the attention throughout the whole movie.

5. Hell or High Water

Another genre-twister masterpiece. This Neo-Western is just pure art. Hell or High Water is a film about a criminal  who commits the ultimate offence of putting his gorgeous and much nicer brother in a ski mask for several minutes of this film. Okay actually it’s about a career criminal brother and his he-wasn’t-but-he-is-now criminal brother who team up to commit a series of small-scale bank robberies across Texas, with the aim, finally – after several generations – of lifting the family out of seemingly inescapable grinding poverty. The part of Texas they live in is dying on its feet so career criminal is pretty much the only career left open that doesn’t involve serving in a diner or herding the few remaining cattle. It would’ve been easy for Hell or High Water to to turn out a cliche-ridden double bromance as there are quite a few movie tropes in this love story / revenge thriller, so it’s a tribute to director David Mackenzie that it’s actually a very touching, at times funny, at times quite brutal story. With a bit of grudge-bearing thrown in at the end to stop it being too redemptive. Memorable scenes, great acting, and a deromanticized western-feeling. After this film, you want to live in Texas, where everything’s slower, but sometimes you can chase criminals. It’s nice, isn’t it? 

4. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Martin McDonagh’s fiercely written, stabbingly pleasurable tragicomedy stars a magnificent Frances McDormand; watching it is like having your funny bone struck repeatedly, expertly and very much too hard by a karate super-black-belt capable of bringing a rhino to its knees with a single punch behind the ear. He’s a scriptwriter genius, it was shocking, how perfectly the dialouges and the actions were constructed. It is a film about vengeance, violence and the acceptance of death, combining subtlety and unsubtlety, and moreover wrongfooting you as to what and whom it is centrally about. The drama happens in a town with an insidiously pessimistic name – Ebbing, Missouri, a remote and fictional community in the southern United States, where the joy of life does seem to be receding. There is a recurrent keynote of elegiac sadness established by the Irish ballad The Last Rose of Summer and Townes Van Zandt’s country hit Buckskin Stallion Blues, a musical combination which bridges the Ireland which McDonagh has written about before and the America he conjures up here, an America which has something of the Coen Brothers. The resemblance is not simply down to McDormand, though she does give her best performance since her starring role as the pregnant Minnesota police chief in the Coens’ Fargo in 1996. It was brutal, controversial, and violent. 

3. Midnight in Paris

The definitive poem in English on the subject of cultural nostalgia may be a short verse by Robert Browning called “Memorabilia.” The past seems so much more vivid, more substantial, than the present, and then it evaporates with the cold touch of reality. The good old days are so alluring because we were not around, however much we wish we were. “Midnight in Paris,” Woody Allen’s charming film, imagines what would happen if that wish came true. It is marvelously romantic, even though — or precisely because — it acknowledges the disappointment that shadows every genuine expression of romanticism. The film has the inspired silliness of some of Mr. Allen’s classic comic sketches (most obviously, “A Twenties Memory,” in which the narrator’s nose is repeatedly broken by Ernest Hemingway), spiked with the rueful fatalism that has characterized so much of his later work. Nothing here is exactly new, but why would you expect otherwise in a film so pointedly suspicious of novelty? Very little is stale, either, and Mr. Allen has gracefully evaded the trap built by his grouchy admirers and unkind critics — I’m not alone in fitting both descriptions — who complain when he repeats himself and also when he experiments. Not for the first time, but for the first time in a while, he has found a credible blend of whimsy and wisdom.

2. Beautiful Boy 

This supersensitive and tasteful movie is all but insufferable, suppressing a sob at the tragedy of drug addiction afflicting someone so young and “beautiful”. It is based on what is effectively a matching set of memoirs: Beautiful Boy, by author and journalist David Sheff, his harrowing account of trying to help his son Nic battle crystal meth addiction, and Tweak – by Nic Sheff himself, about these same experiences, the author now, thankfully, eight years clean. Steve Carell does an honest, well-meaning job in the role of David and the egregiously beautiful Timothée Chalamet is earnest in the part of Nic, David’s son from his first marriage. This is like a modern-day Basketball Diaries. Honest, and Raw. Most underrated movie of the 2010′s, with an unquestionably important topic. 

1. The Social Network

Before Sorkin wrote the screenplay, Ben Mezrich wrote the book based on Mark Zuckerberg and the founding of Facebook titled: The Accidental Billionaires: The Founding of Facebook, A Tale of Sex, Money, Genius, and Betrayal. It was published in July 2009, and most of the information came from Facebook “co-founder” Eduardo Saverin, who in the film is played by Andrew Garfield. The screenplay that Sorkin wrote was blazing, he wrote the characters like they were in a William Shakespeare play, with a story full of lies, jealousy, and betrayal. I especially love how Sorkin balanced the story between 2003, 2004, and then 2010. It goes back and forth between the past when Facebook was just an idea for Mark, and in the current day when he is being sued by Cameron & Tyler Winklevoss for, in their minds, having stolen their original idea, and by his former best friend Eduardo for having him pushed out of the company. In fact, some of the very best dialogue (and the film is full of great quotes) happens during the deposition scenes. Well-recognizable, rapid-fire dialouges, wonderful directing, with Trent Reznor’s greatest soundtrack. The movie’s probably going to outlive the Facebook itself, and that’s just great. 

[adriannaelle]

Treehouse and Chill

The Simpsons reached another milestone this year with the recent airing of its thirtieth “Treehouse of Horror” special which, coincidentally, is the show’s 666th episode. While certainly not the best installment of this annual series, “Treehouse of Horror XXX” was pretty funny. Still, even the funniest jokes in this episode pale in comparison to some of the classic “Treehouse of Horror” specials. To this day, iconic segments such as “The Shinning”, “The Devil and Homer Simpson”, “Nightmare Cafeteria”, and “Citizen Kang” are still hard to top.

So, in honor of Halloween, thirty years of scary tales, and 90’s nostalgia, I want to briefly discuss my favorite five episodes of the Treehouse of Horror series. As always, ranking articles like these are subjective and are based on personal taste. Therefore, I don’t care if you nor yo’ mama thinks “Treehouse of Horror III” was trash. It’s still going on this list!

Alright, let us continue.

Honorable Mentions: “Treehouse of Horror II”, “Treehouse of Horror VIII”, and “Treehouse of Horror X”

Number Five: “Treehouse of Horror VII” (Season 8, Episode 1; 1996)

Although “The Thing and I” was a strong first segment, I enjoyed it least in “Treehouse of Horror VII”. Don’t get me wrong, I thought the story was pretty funny, I just like the second and third stories better. However, I do have a bone to pick with the ending of “The Thing and I”. Instead of confining Bart to the attic, why not keep both Hugo and Bart around after they discovered Bart was the evil twin? I mean, the family already lived with Bart for 10 years. They might as well kept the mistake going.

“The Genesis Tub” was amusing.  It may be the creative in me, but I really enjoy the concept of creating your own world and overseeing it.  Still, I felt the ending of “The Genesis Tub” was a bit abrupt.  I feel like the writers could have done so much more with the concept of Lisa creating and ruling her own Universe. Maybe she could have assaulted Bart with more fighter pilots. Maybe she could have built a massive ray gun a la the ray gun seen in “Citizen Kang”.  The ideas are limitless.

Speaking of “Citizen Kang”, this story is one of my favorites in the entire Treehouse of Horror series.  It's a brilliant satirical take on elections in the United States and the country’s politicians.  I especially like how the writers make fun of our ridiculous two-party system.  Like really, are our only choices between a drooling, Gangreen Gang, cyclops squid, and his twin sister?  Ross Perot should have brought up Kang’s and Kodos’ emails.  That always works.

Number Four: “Treehouse of Horror III” (Season 4, Episode 5; 1992)

Akin to my feelings about “Treehouse of Horror VII”, I’m only a big fan of two of the three segments in “Treehouse of Horror III”.  “King Homer” was just a’ight to me. Granted, the segment did have a great exchange between Mr. Smithers and Mr. Burns about the former’s distaste of seamen and women mixing.  Yet overall, I didn’t get a kick out of this story as much as I did the other two.

“Clown Without Pity” is a parody of the lauded Twilight Zone episode “Living Doll”.  This segment had its share of funny jokes, particularly the line from Patty about losing the remaining thread of her heterosexuality after seeing Homer horrifically run through the house butt naked.  I also like how the key to turning off the Krusty doll’s murderous rage, is switching the lever from “evil” to “good”.  Like, what happens if the lever accidentally switches back?  What if it breaks and he gets stuck on “evil”?  Take the doll back and get a refund!  Like, what are y’all doing?!

Finally, there is “Dial ‘Z’ for Zombie”.  No matter how self-aware I am about the absurdity of my kinemortophobia (fear of zombies), I still have it.  That is why I hated this segment as a child.  But as a grown woman, I find this story very funny.  It’s a pretty simple zombie story, but the jokes strewn throughout are what make it a highlight of the series.  The joke about Homer being immune to the zombies because he lacks brains is one that stands out in particular.  Also, what are George Washington, Albert Einstein, and William Shakespeare even doing in Springfield?

Number Three: “Treehouse of Horror IV” (Season 5, Episode 5; 1993)

Choosing between “Treehouse of Horror IV” and “Treehouse of Horror V” as my second favorite episode of the series was the hardest.  Ultimately, I prefer V ever so slightly over IV, but IV is a heavyweight in its own right.  “The Devil and Homer Simpson” shows just how far our dimwitted protagonist is willing to go to get his favorite, sugary snack.  You got to be desperate as all hell to sell your soul for a donut!  Other than Homer’s enjoyment of his ironic punishment, the best part of the segment is the trial itself.  The Devil’s voir dire game is trash.  How do you select the jury and still lose the case?  Never hire this man for anything.

“Terror at 5 ½ Feet” is yet another hilarious spin on an old Twilight Zone classic. This parody of “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” stays true to the basic horror elements and story structure as the original tale, but, of course, adds its own Simpsons brand of humor to it. However, unlike the original, Bart is still tormented by the gremlin after he’s hauled off to the psych ward.  Side note, Ned Flanders really took a lot of L’s in this episode.

I’ve never seen nor read the original Dracula, so I do not know how faithful “Bart Simpson’s Dracula” is to the original story.  Well, I guess that doesn’t really matter here because this story is so funny and scary that it holds your attention from beginning to end.  From the super happy fun slide that leads to the vampires in the basement to Homer staking Mr. Burns (Burnscula?) in the crotch, this story provides many laughs that make this story a classic.  Also, the plot twist that Marge (Margecula?) is really the head vampire is funny as hell.  Sorry if that was a spoiler but in fairness, this episode is 26 years old now.

Number Two: “Treehouse of Horror V” (Season 6, Episode 6; 1994)

“Treehouse of Horror V” is solid from beginning to end.  “The Shinning” is firmly in my top five list of favorite Treehouse of Horror segments.  This segment has several hilarious moments, from Homer taking three days to make the voyage to the cabin due to his forgetfulness to the blood not getting off at the right floor, to that scene where the complete lack of television and beer made Homer go . . . something . . . hmm.  Well, anyway, I can definitely say that every time I watch “The Shinning”, I’m feelin’ fine.

“The Shinning” is not the only highlight of this episode.  Homer’s time-traveling escapade in “Time and Punishment” introduced us to numerous interesting alternative timelines that ultimately drove Homer to a pure state of “IDGAF” at the end.  Still sucks that he missed out on that donut rain.  That timeline would have smacked!  

This episode’s final segment, “Nightmare Cafeteria”, truly is the stuff of nightmares. I mean, it’s super funny now that I’m grown, but this segment used to legitimately scare me as a child.  It also didn’t help that I was a fat kid.  Like, imagine living your best life and then the next moment, you’re Ms. Wilson’s Fried Adri.  Woo, chile.

Number One: “Treehouse of Horror” (Season 2, Episode 3; 1990)

It’s often said that nothing beats the original, and in the case of Treehouse of Horror episodes, this sentiment rings true.  The very first Treehouse of Horror is the greatest episode of the series.  One of the highlights of this episode is the dulcet baritone of James Earl Jones as the mover, Serak the Preparer, and the narrator of “The Raven”.

The first segment “Bad Dream House” is a comedic spin on the classic haunted house movie trope.  The quintessential 80s style horror music that accompanies the story throughout greatly adds to the mood of the piece without overdoing it.  The conclusion of “Bad Dream House” is what makes this story so funny.  The house destroys itself rather than live with the Simpsons. I don’t know what it feels like to be curved by a house, but it must make you feel all kinds of insecure.  

“Hungry Are the Damned” is our first introduction to Treehouse staples Kang and Kodos.  It is also our introduction to the sorely missed Serak the Preparer, who definitely needs to return at least once in this series.  This segment parodies the classic Twilight Zone episode “To Serve Man” and gives us a humorous plot twist at the end.  I suppose this episode also serves as a sort of origin story of Kang’s and Kodos’ beef with mankind because this is the only episode where they are genuinely nice.  Dang, all Lisa had to do was sit down and eat her food. Literally.

Finally, there is “The Raven”, which is absolutely my favorite segment in any Treehouse of Horror Episode.  What I like most about “The Raven” is how the crew manages to add comedy to the piece without losing any of the mystique of Edgar Allen Poe’s riveting poetry.  It also made this poem a bit easier to understand, which I greatly appreciate.  It’s a refined piece of television without the pompousness of the bourgeois.  In short, I like it. 

Honestly, no matter which of the thirty Treehouse of Horror episodes you like best, all are great for watching on Halloween for squeamish, easy-to-scare people like me.  So for those of us who aren’t bravely equipped to watch the more realistic, gory, and scary productions, I highly recommend binge-watching these episodes for some softer scary vibes and lots of laughs.

[swampsail]

Man, there are some stories I will just never fucking get over I’m like eternally screaming inside about how much I love these stories, and the characters, and just AAAAAAAAAH

Sorry I’m on mobile can’t do a read more

Gargoyles shaped a whole bunch of me as a kid. It’s dark, it’s dramatic, it’s spooky. And it covers heavy topics like racism, murder, gun use, death, loss, basic rights of life, morals. It also covers topics like forgiveness, self-improvement, empathy, things that constitute different kinds of love and different kinds of family. The characters are massively diverse and complicated. There’s not a single one who’s flat, who exists solely to prop up the other characters or plot. It’s almost impossible to hate any of them, even the baddies (except for the archmage, let’s be real. He’s a total cock) It’s also almost impossible to truly have one favorite, because they’re all SO GOOD, and one of them without the others isn’t as strong or as excellent as all of them as a whole. There are so many strong female characters! Elisa, princess Katherine, Demona, Angela, Maggie, Fox, Titania, Hyena. Holy heck! Lexington is canonically gay, and absolutely zero characters degrade or judge him, or single him out, ever. (Sadly its not a topic that gets any real development, and the writer was only allowed to share this fact after the show was cancelled…so people can also pretend his orientation doesn’t even exist. But let’s not) The show makes SO MANY historical, literary, and mythos references! Lots of Shakespeare! Lits of Norse myth! Lots of Celtic and British and Aztec folklore! The voice acting is incredible, and half the main cast of Star Trek: TNG does voices for many of the main characters in Gargoyles! Seriously, I love this show so much. It’s so good. It has to be viewed with a little forgiveness because it IS a 90’s cartoon, but seriously. I have never stopped loving or stopped thinking about this friggin show.

Mushishi is another one. The manga and the anime both are just gorgeous beyond reason. There’s so much quiet, and so much nature. The stories are bittersweet, the soundtrack is soothing and mysterious. Sometimes a story is a a little scary, or painfully sad, or just stupid and ridiculous. It wrenches at the heart. Never with any other story have I gotten CHILLS from reading a comic/manga. That’s just how damn good it is. Mushishi handles a lit of topics such as death, healing, loneliness, irreversible mistakes, and the struggle between man and nature. The main character, Ginko, is kind of a lawful neutral dude, and will frequently side with the seemingly destructive mushi over the humans that are afflicted by them. But we learn that it’s because he believes everything and everyone has a right to live, and there are almost always alternative solutions to a problem that don’t involve killing the thing that’s creating the problem. He’s not perfect, and he screws up a lot, but he genuinely wants to help people and preserve the balance between them and mushi. The show is quiet and contemplative, with gorgeous background paintings, full of nature sounds and well-composed music using traditional Japanese elements. Ginko’s Japanese voice actor is great, too. Quiet and a little smoke-rough. The series never fails to make me feel calm and grounded, and I always come away with a new appreciation for the simple, quiet moments, the beauty of stillness, and just nature in general. It’s done with such care, and I love it a lot. Plus the author, Urushibara Yuki, always provides nice mysterious anecdotes about her life and family in the chapter extras of the manga.

And of course I gotta scream about Watchmen. This kind of thing is right up my alley. Gritty, depressing, cynical. A deconstruction of the entire superhero genre. Alan Moore flavors the story with a nostalgia (lol) for things that didn’t even exist, but I missed them as if they had. His world was familiar enough to hit home, feel comfortable. But different enough to leave a sense of unease and otherness. The elements are difficult and dark. There’s death and depression and murder, rape, morals bent and skewed, mental illness, fear, futility, aggression. And through it all most, if not all of the characters managed to maintain this extremely relatable humanity. They’re just people. Awful and pathetic, and they want the world to be better. They’re all just doing what they think they can to change the shitty place they’re stuck in, surrounded by shitty people, and shitty events. Hardly any of them are likeable as people. Like, I would hang out with literally none of these assholes in real life for a various slew of reasons. But as characters, they’re complex and memorable. I haven’t seen a single other typical superhero character that I like or feel emotions for nearly as much as anyone from Watchmen. There is no happy ending in this story, not for anyone, and I really appreciate that. Because Manhattan is right about a single thing, and its that “nothing ever ends”. The story is left raw and open and morally ambiguous. What happens afterwards? Who the fuck knows, but its probably awful, and the characters probably just keep trying to do whatever it is that makes them feel better. Which I guess is one of the most accurate-to-life pieces of fiction you’re ever gonna get. And let’s be honest, the heaping pile of smutty, fixit, h/c, fanfic trash that this comic generated is the real treasure here. P.s. I liked the movie, too, and you are free to judge the shit out of me for that.