#sorry i got all sad bc i found out my friend is in hawaii rn and my cousin is on a trip across the country and i just feel so stuck
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i cant wait to be me
#i dont know how to actually start living yet. its been waiting to go on hrt. waiting for hs to end. waiting for college. waiting to be able#to afford college. waiting to lose weight. waiting to get feel confident. waiting to get better. waiting for top surgery. i think i keep#moving the goalpost(?) to soothe the guilt i have for “wasting” my life away. rotting in my room while watching everyone actually living#feels less sucky when i think about how its okay since ill finally go and live for myself as soon as xyz happens. i just have to wait a#little longer#sorry i got all sad bc i found out my friend is in hawaii rn and my cousin is on a trip across the country and i just feel so stuck#but its okay bc as soon as i get my top surgery ill get to actually start my life right?#des vents
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